Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 307: My Fifteen Seconds
Episode Date: November 3, 2020On this week's episode, JD and Dr. Cox discover they only spend fifteen seconds talking to their patient. In the real world, interrupting Bill is back! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www....iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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There he is.
One minute late, huh?
I knew you were going to say something. That's how you're doing it now. One minute late, huh? I knew you were going to say something.
That's how you're doing it now?
One minute late?
I've never been anything but five minutes early.
I knew you were going to say some shit.
One minute late and you got a hat on and everything.
Look at you.
You got a little scully on.
Don't you find this weather in LA is like if you stand in one spot, it's hot.
And if you stand in another spot, it's cold.
Isn't that called um global warming no it's probably called fall in la because in the sun you could wear a bathing suit and then in the shadows i need my hat isn't that called global
warming yo it's voting day this is fucking election day everybody it's it's uh holy cow yo first of all you voted already
obviously yes of course i went and dropped it off in the ballot box in west hollywood
hell i did i did so myself not in west hollywood but uh in my neighborhood
i'm really excited about the turnout so far. Yes.
I am.
You know, you guys aren't going to hear this until.
When does this come out? It is election day.
This is Tuesday election day.
This will be Tuesday election day.
So we need to be encouraging people who haven't done it to do it.
That's why we're here.
We're not the Scrubs podcast.
We're here to tell you to vote.
No, that's not why we're here.
All right, I forgot.
But not only that, tonight, for all of you who've gone out and voted already, you get to watch television and watch the election.
And this probably is going to be like they're taking bets on this election.
This is the most anyone has ever put money down on elections.
We need to warn people as a public service announcement, right, Daniel and Joelle, that we may not know these results on Tuesday night. Trump is very, very,
very, very committed to saying we need to know the results that night. That's bullshit. Because
of the incredible surge of mail-in voting, some states aren't even allowed to start counting until
the day of. So everyone needs to be prepared and prepare their friends
that this might not be the typical situation where we know the result that night, tonight. Sorry,
I have to speak like it's Tuesday. Probably closer to 2000 when we had the whole like hanging Chad
Florida votes kind of thing happening. It'll be a similar situation of that where probably a week or so after we'll have a final we'll really florida florida once again florida once again is the
biggest whoever wins florida is probably going to win this election once again and ohio too
probably but pennsylvania once again pennsylvania pennsylvania is really the one pennsylvania and
i'm the surprise of texas because there is a little Texas talk about Texas flipping,
which would be the greatest.
Texas all of a sudden too.
That would be amazing, right?
That feels like a long shot, but there is talk of Texas flipping.
More people voted this year in Texas already than they voted in four years ago.
Right.
In 2016.
That's amazing.
More people already.
Listen, here's your public service announcement from your good friends at Fake Doctors Real Friends.
If you're listening to this and you haven't voted yet, we're begging you.
We're down on our knees.
Please go vote.
Yes.
Participate.
Please.
Please.
I just want you to speak your mind.
I'm not the one that's going to sit here and tell you who to vote for.
Just go out there, speak your mind, make your voice heard.
I just want to say, please, please, please vote.
I am on my knees.
What's that song?
I'll get down on my knees, kiss the ground that you walk on, baby.
I just know I'm down on my knees,, begging you please, baby, come back.
I'll let you go.
You've got to believe in the feeling of love.
It won't hurt anymore.
Don't want to believe our love.
Whatever the fuck he said.
I'm down on my knees.
I'm begging you please
Come home
Can we go back to the days
Our lovers gone
See how I modulated
Can you tell
You don't know who the fuck
Wait what
I don't know I'm sorry don't judge me
What
Brian McKnight
Oh my god the fact that you know who Brian McKnight.
Oh my God.
The fact that you know who Brian McKnight is already, thank goodness.
But no, wrong black person.
Wrong black soul singer. No, it's an R&B soul singer.
I don't know who it is.
It's Boyz II Men.
All right, calm down, dude.
I'm sorry I don't know Boyz II Men.
I only know at the end of the road.
That's what I was just singing, you moron.
Oh, well, I only know the fucking chorus, dick fuck.
Oh, my God.
Cock soak.
Cock soak?
That's not a diss.
Yeah, it is.
I like making up new disses for you.
Anyway, so please vote.
We're begging you.
We're begging you.
We're begging you.
Somebody just heard my phone ringing.
My phone was so loud in my headphones.
I'm sure you heard. Do, do, do, do, do, do, in my headphones. I'm sure you heard. We didn't. And then also, please, the other public service announcement is prepare your
friends and community that tonight might not be the night that you know. And don't let anyone
tell you differently because of the obscene amount of ballots they're going to have to count.
Well, not just that.
Also, if it doesn't go your way, please don't fucking go crazy.
Yeah, please don't loot.
Please don't start a civil war.
Please, let's not have a civil war.
America, please don't make that be what happens.
I have a friend who left the country.
He's like, fuck this.
I'll see what happens.
Then that's one way to go.
Hey, let's talk about Baby Yoda because that was supposed to be your surprise.
Now, as some of you will recall, I told Donald that I arranged for him to get a very special present.
The plan was for him to open it live on the air.
He doesn't open it live on the air.
He opens it.
He posts about it.
Doesn't even text me.
Doesn't even say like, dude, how dope is this?
Thanks for hooking it up.
It didn't say it was from you.
It said Sideshow Collectibles.
Yeah, well, Sideshow Collectibles hooked it up because of me.
It didn't say, yo, because of Zach, you're getting this baby Yoda.
Donald Faison.
I thought Sideshow was just looking out because they know I love Star Wars.
No, they weren't.
Zach, I'm going to take this moment on Fake Doctors Real Friends to shout out a best friend of mine.
Go ahead.
He always looks out for a brother.
I do.
Gets me toys.
Yep.
Buys me toys.
We collaborate together.
Loves you.
And loves me.
Sends you funny gifts.
Sends me funny gifts as well.
And Seth Green, thank you so much.
Why Seth Green?
Because he does that thing.
No, this is not Seth fucking Green.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.
Joelle, that was not
that funny, A. And B, I'm
sliding this tear over.
That's so mean.
Oh, man.
Hold up, let me give you mean. Oh, man. Okay.
So anyway, Baby Yoda,
I know you played. Hold up.
Let me give you 100.
Zach, thank you very much.
I really appreciate it.
It's actually something
that is sitting in my room
where I watched
The Mandalorian four times already.
You've already watched it four times.
It came out today.
It came out today. Well, it four times. It came out today. It came out today.
Well, it came out when it came out.
This is supposed to be election day.
Well, we record this on Friday
and it came out on Friday.
Anyway, and I...
I haven't seen it, so no spoilers,
but did you like it?
Oh, it's so fucking dope.
Excuse my language, George Lucas and
J.J. Abrams.
Excuse your language.
We're calling each other curses all the time.
From here on out, when I talk about Star Wars, I'm trying my hardest not to curse.
Okay.
I'm going to respect Star Wars so much that I'm going to curb my language when talking about Star Wars.
Okay.
But it's so amazing, it is so it was listen i i
enjoyed it so much and a friend of mine's in it and it was just it was just something that i
you know somebody who i played basketball against and somebody who i played you know
on the same team and also you know celebrity all-star games and stuff like that is on The Mandalorian in this episode and has some iconic stuff going on with him.
And it was just really awesome to see.
Joelle, did you watch?
I watched it twice.
I loved it.
I thought it was really good.
It's so much more improved.
It improves a lot on season one.
I think they learned a lot from how they shot it.
I feel like there's a lot more depth. thought the western aspects of it soared and there's like ah the way
that they bring up small things in the background of the movies and oh my goodness center of the
show is just like it just fills your star wars heart with love it's so good yeah panel you see
it yet uh no i have not watched it yet.
I think I have to wait for my girlfriend.
She's out of town, but back
tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I have to wait.
Why? Because, you know,
I don't know how it is with you and your relationship.
I didn't wait for my wife.
There are shows that we get in
and we have to wait.
Or we have,
you know she you know
we share it
she loves it too
so we watch it together
have you started
watching The Bachelor yet
you know what
I have to do
I give this
I didn't watch that shit
you don't watch The Bachelor
okay
I mean I
I
well this is the one
it's The Bachelorette
right now right
yeah
I didn't
I watched like
the first episode
and I was like
this is so stupid.
Why am I watching this?
It's candy.
You watch it with your wife.
You watch it because that's something you watch with your wife.
Daniel, it's so tasty.
It's so tasty.
It's so tasty.
Pure, just sour patch kids.
Oh my god.
It's like you're going to see a Marvel movie
and you've got all of
the freaking candy
in your lap. It's the Marvel movie
for drama.
I'm so confused.
I don't like the ones
where it's men competing.
Oh, it's the best.
To see how petty men can be is the best
thing ever.
No, my brother.
That's like freaking stereotypical. No, I think the women fighting is way more entertaining. No, my brother. No, my brother.
That's like freaking stereotypical.
That's what the show is. I'm just telling you what I prefer.
I'd rather watch a bunch of women argue than watch a bunch of men argue.
I'm sorry.
That's my taste.
No, it's way funnier to watch men try to stay in between the lines of not getting punched in the face and still trying to insult somebody.
That's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
She seemed in love with the black guy who's the first guy she met.
It was like, oh, it seems like it's over.
She was just like drop jog.
It is over.
A new Bachelorette will be on.
A new Bachelorette will be on.
And the two of them run off together.
Wait, in the middle of the show?
Yes, three episodes in.
In the third episode.
In the third episode.
Disney.
Oh, that's good TV. ABC, third episode. Disney, ABC.
ABC, you're welcome for this shameless.
Shameless.
Some people might be upset by spoilers, but I don't give a fuck.
You're telling me she picks the black guy three episodes in
and they have to change the person out?
It changed the bachelorette out.
And some of the dudes like and you see like
especially after like all of the me too stuff has happened and you start to realize you start to
recognize as a man some of the things that aren't acceptable anymore and how men talk to women and
how all of that happens and stuff like that you really see some well at least one dude just go
into like a tirade where it's like dude your power move
you're trying to pull a power move on this on this young lady and that is totally whack and then then
she flips it and she's pulling power moves on these dudes just for this one dude just for this
one guy man it's like it's it's it's it's i i, when it came on. You're talking about The Bachelorette. Yeah, dude. Like it's fucking a Marvel movie.
When it came on, when it came on, I told my wife, I'll be in the other room.
Please don't bother me.
I went to the fridge to get like some, like some GT's kombucha.
Yeah.
And as I'm grabbing the kombucha, within seconds, I was already making my way
towards the couch asking, wait, what?
It's like, it's-
Is this the only thing that you and your wife
watch together?
Yeah, because she's into all of that freaking,
you know, 48 hours and, you know, murder.
True crime.
Now what about sports?
Does she watch the sports with you?
Yeah, you know, she's the one that got me into football.
I wasn't really into football unless the Giants were involved when I was a kid.
And I became a grown man and met my wife at 30-something years old, in my early 30s.
And she took me to my first football game ever.
And she took me to see a new york team play her hometown team and it was like
and we sat in the box of the quarterbacks and shit like that it was like oh because she's dialed in
yeah well you know her her best friend was dating the quarterback of the dallas cowboys at the time
yeah or they were about or they were about to date but anyway it was one of the and it was
thanksgiving and it was like my first time not really flying
home. And, you know, I didn't, I was divorced from my ex-wife, God rest her soul. And so I'm
not going over to their house and spending Thanksgiving with my kids. And she took me to
Dallas for my first time really in Dallas to a football game. And this was very early in our relationship. And I got to hang out with, you know,
the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys
and other players.
It was really cool.
And she got me into football.
And now I know more about football than she does.
All right, should we get in the show, Donald?
Why don't you count us in to some fun, fun, fun programming
with our favorite numbers?
Five, six, seven, eight.
I've got stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate.
I said here's the stories that you all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Welcome to the program, everybody.
We are so appreciative that you listen to this.
We are so appreciative of you liking just sitting around chatting with us all.
We love doing it for you.
And Donald is going to summarize the show as he often does, often takes him
roughly 37 seconds. We never know what's going to happen.
Okay. So with this one, I watched the show earlier and then I went out and did my daily
stuff and came back. And now that I look at my notes, I like what I wrote, but I feel
like I missed a couple of things. So there might be a little bit of ad-libbing in this to all the listeners out there.
So this is exciting for fans.
Donald may riff.
He may, what do you call when a rapper just-
Freestyles.
You gotta freestyle.
Well, yeah, because it's not off the top.
So there is a bit of freestyle in it.
You might freestyle.
As you are spinning some bars, you may freestyle.
That's my dude right there can i ask a side no question when guys are like eminem like spitting freestyle bars don't you
think they have it all that shit memorized they're not really fucking no but that's the
difference between freestyle and off the top of the head so off the top of the head. So off the top of the head is when it's completely, you're making it up right there at that moment.
Freestyle is when you're giving people bars that you've written
and put together already for free.
You know what I mean?
And people get to listen to your stuff for free.
But that video when Eminem was like in the garage
and he was like, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.
That was off the top of the head probably.
Really?
You believe that?
You're talking about when he's, which one are you talking about?
I don't know.
I don't watch a lot of this.
But I remember like a few years ago, one or two years ago,
Eminem was like in a parking garage and all his boys were sitting on a car.
Right.
And he's walking around.
That was the BET Awards.
And then Chris D'Elia did a big spoof of it.
Yeah, that was the BET Awards. I believe that was off the top of the head. I believe that was
off the top of the head. I feel like when rappers do freestyle, the verse is a little bit more...
Daniel, you could correct me if you believe I'm wrong, but I feel like the verse is a little bit
more polished when it's freestyle. So if somebody goes on the radio and they spit a couple of bars, and they're like, all
right, this is freestyle, it's just a bunch of songs that they put together or a bunch
of lines that they put together just for...
And it's not necessarily in an order.
But when it's off the top of the head, they're just coming in and saying, all right, I'm
not going to say anything that I've
written before. This is all about right now. You know what I mean? I wanted to offer a slightly
different perspective on the same idea. As a DJ, I would very rarely plan DJ sets. I would rarely
plan this song goes into this song goes into this song goes into this song because I've been DJing
for a very long time. And with that in my head already, I have hundreds and hundreds of 123 song combinations that I know
we're going to work well together. So freestyle, freestyle, right, exactly. So over that set,
I may be putting together a couple different pieces that I already know work together in a set
that I'm not necessarily planning. So maybe the order of the songs I've
played, I've never ever played before. But it doesn't mean that a couple of those transitions,
I don't know very, very well. And I think it's the same thing with freestyle rap. These guys have,
worked with these themes and motifs and all of this stuff so much that a lot of those rhymes,
a lot of those lyrical plays are pieces that they've done over and over and over,
maybe not in that order, maybe not on that topic, but it's a subject.
It's a method that they're very familiar with.
So it's kind of – I don't want to say easier, but it's like it's part of the practice.
Well said.
Well said.
I guess I'm just cynical when people are supposedly coming up with it not like freestyle, just like totally fresh.
And I'm like, come on, buddy.
You fucking worked that out last night.
Well, there are some people that do have that talent, though.
There are some people that, you know, to go into a recording booth and do your verse and do it in one take is a talent.
You know what I mean?
That means you've not only worked on it, but you're so connected to the beat that you're able to ride the rhythm also.
That's different.
A guy goes in, doesn't he usually write it out when he goes into the recording booth?
Well, sometimes he writes it at that moment and then goes in.
Or as Jay-Z, Jay-Z is one of the masters of freestyle.
Lil Wayne, he was one of the masters of freestyle. But if you don't write your rhymes and you just try to think of it,
you think about Biggie.
The notorious B.I.G. is the king of this,
where he would sit in the studio and just listen to the beat.
And as he listened, he'd sit there and rehearse it in his head, right?
And then as it went on, as it got to the point where,
I don't know how long it would take.
He'd be like, all right, I'm ready.
And then he'd go into the booth and drop what he was rehearsing.
To do that, that's freestyle to me.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's like in my mind, all right, I'm going to say this, this, this, and this, and this.
And at this part, I'm going to try and freak it like this.
Okay.
And then I said, right, right, right. and this, and this. And at this part, I'm going to try and freak it like this. Okay, and then I said, right, right, right.
And then always go back.
And when you listen to it, the ah, and the, you know what I mean,
him catching the beat, all of that shit is so raw
because it's not written.
It's him feeling it and being in it.
That's a bit of freestyle right there.
You know what I mean?
That's what makes the great ones.
Jay-Z is another one that does that. i heard little wayne somebody that does that i heard he just
would just go on for days sit in front of a little microphone and a keyboard and just
rap and rap and rap and rap and rap and rap and rap and rap and rap and rap that's how it was
when i did my uh passover rap that i sang for you guys a while back.
Did you sing your Passover rap?
Or was that on something else?
Didn't I do my Passover rap for you guys?
I don't think so.
I don't think I've ever heard your Passover rap.
Did you do the whole thing? Yeah, you did your Passover rap.
Yeah, thanks a lot, Donald.
Yeah, when you were talking,
it was...
Lane, Hal, and Zach took a trip to Boston.
Something about like, the reasons unknown.
Just remember your cone.
Yeah.
Now, I was fired, Donald.
Thanks for remembering.
I remember that.
Dog.
What?
Can we hear it again?
Yeah.
One day, four people took a trip to Boston, a Lane, Hal, and Zach, and an Audi 5000.
The reason for the trip was Passover time.
If we snook some bread in, it would be a crime.
Just remember on this five-hour trip, McDonald's and Burger King, we would skip.
The reason for this deed was Passover time.
If we snook some bread in, it would be a crime.
Why do we go so far when we can pray at home?
The reason was unknown.
Just remember your comb.
That's slick, man.
Yeah, harsh.
You know what I love about that? You know what I love about that?
You know what I love about that?
What?
I love that as a youth, you understood that your parents were just taking you on this long-ass journey so that you would not think about food.
But on this journey, you guys passed McDonald's and Burger King and all of these spots.
This was at the time of the Beastie Boys, like fight for your right to party era, right?
So that was my introduction as a Jewish kid in North Jersey.
I didn't know anything about any other rap, really,
other than the Beastie Boys singing,
you gotta fight for your right.
That's the only Beastie Boys you knew as a youth?
No, I knew the whole album.
I'm just saying that you can go ahead and make your
jokes that that was my introduction to rap,
but that's what it was.
Let me ask you one question.
On that record, what was your favorite song?
I would have to look
at the track list. I don't have it memorized. The one with the plane,
right? The one with the plane?
Did you like Paul Revere at all?
Yes! I even got
some of that memorized, I think. That's one of the
best. I did it like this. I did it like
that. I did it with a wiffle ball, but
so I'm on the run. The cops got
my gun and run about now trying to have some
fun. The king at rock, that is my name
and I got the fly swatted about the champagne.
Okay!
ZB got old school,
y'all. Alright, come on. Let's talk
about this fucking TV show Scrubs. That's why people are here. Oh wait, alright, so do your recap. Ready? Okay, y'all. All right, come on. Let's talk about this fucking TV show Scrubs.
That's why people are here.
Oh, wait.
All right, so do your recap.
Ready?
Okay, here we go.
And start.
Carla and Elliot are best friends thanks to Eric Estrada.
Dr. Kelso orders the hospital new stethoscopes
but pays the price for trying to cut the corners.
JD's dating Jordan's sister.
Cox hates this so much that he tries to sabotage it.
No relationship is perfect.
You have to nurture all relationships,
all of them, whether they be at work or with a person.
And oftentimes, just showing up isn't enough.
Effort is required.
And sometimes, it's hard to muster up the energy to do so
because life is exhausting.
But if you have love, you fight for it.
If you love what you do, you follow through.
Your effort and attention to others' needs could be what's required to save a relationship.
Amen. Amen.
Relationships are hard, Don. You got to work at it.
You got to work at it. You got to work, but it's not just, but it's not, you know, I'm, you know, that's, that's, that's the theme of this show, but it's describe that relationship but who you are when you step in front of the world is just as important as you
know how you manifest and nurture your personal relationship the question is in all your
relationships do you want to put in the work or do you want to run and right right or do you want
to or do you want to just see what happens and and, you know, Cox and JD are a perfect example of two dudes that just wanted to get the fuck out of the hospital and, you know, because of this annoying patient and realize at dinner that they're being a little too insensitive and that, holy cow, maybe we, you know, we're not seeing the signs because we're not paying attention to our job.
We're not doing the best that we're not being the best that we can be.
And we're not listening to what this young lady is saying to us.
And,
and so at the end,
when they rushed back to the hospital,
when they realized what the problem is,
you know,
that,
that really,
that was a big moment for me
because this episode
isn't necessarily
my favorite episode.
It's not necessarily
the funniest episode.
Didn't you find it odd though?
I mean,
it didn't cross their minds
that she,
I mean,
she fucking ate pesticide.
It didn't cross their mind
that she might be suicidal.
I thought that was a little weird.
That was very,
well,
you know,
we don't see this.
We've done all these tests tests and uh we even sent some
people to your house and we just can't figure out why there might be pesticide in your system
i don't know i just that was a little weird it's you know hey but what do i know i'm not a genius
bill lawrence whose show ted lasso just got picked up for two more seasons that's amazing
congratulations you know how big that show is internationally and domestically?
I mean, they picked it up for...
They haven't even started season two,
and they picked up two and three.
So go, Bill.
Damn, that's so crazy, because speaking of which...
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Interrupting Bill.
Oh, yeah.
Just when I gave him a compliment.
Interrupting Bill.
Oh, he's inter... All compliment. Interrupting Bill. Always interrupting.
All right.
I'm trying to do a song out.
You thought he was cocky before.
Wait for this.
I've missed you guys.
You're doing a great job on my podcast.
I appreciate it.
What a dick.
So here is the question for today, and don't cheat.
My 15 seconds.
for today and don't cheat. My 15 seconds. Every time you guys enter Jill Tracy's room,
doctors only spend 15 seconds with a patient on average, and a clock comes up. One,
question one, do you think that's a real thing or that we made it up for the show?
I think it must be a real thing. It's too weird it's it's to me it's too random and weird to have been made up it does feel short as someone who's unfortunately spent a
bunch of time in hospitals in the last few years um but i feel like he wouldn't pull that out of
his butt i think i think i think they made it up okay all right let's find out. Wrong or right. It's not really a real thing.
And we did make it up for the show
because I find that if you put a small dramatic thing like that in there
that people believe, it actually kind of helps your storytelling.
But the even more crafty cheating aspect to this,
every time you went in there and the 15 second clock showed up,
do you think it was actually 15 seconds?
No, it wasn't. I know that. I know that from Scrubs Wiki.
I'm sorry, that's a bit of a cheat, but Scrubs Wiki, of course,
points out how those segments are by no means 15 seconds.
Let's find out.
Correct. It was not.
I think one of them might even be 27 or 30 seconds.
But we just slowed down the countdown so we could do whatever we want.
And that's how you cheat in television.
There you go.
Thank you, Interrupting Bill, for that.
I like that.
That was a very fun Interrupting Bill for me.
It was.
You know why?
I thought because he's the top showrunner in town this week that he might come on extra cocky.
But no, he held it together.
He held his ego in check.
That's really awesome.
I'm actually going to dinner with him and Krista tonight.
So if there's anything you want me to discuss with them.
You know, tell them I'm getting in shape.
I got a job that's going to, you know,
make me get in shape for a little bit.
What are you hiding from the audience?
What job is this?
Do you not want to talk about it?
No, we could talk about it.
You know, this might get cut, but...
Well, we can beep it or something.
I signed on to do, like...
Oh! I signed on to do Like Oh Oh Joelle's gonna lose her fucking mind
What
That's amazing congratulations
What a cool booking congrats
Yeah and so
We'll see what happens with that
I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it but you guys
Can know about it
We can beep the title
So is that pushing your with that. I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it, but you guys can know about it. Well, we could beep it. We can beep the title, but... We'll beep that.
So, is that pushing your
training into full gear? Are we
pelotoning the shit out of us ourselves now?
Yeah, there's some nudeness
perhaps. Oh! Are we
gonna see your eel?
You're not gonna see my eel, no.
There's no way that Casey
will allow that. Casey's like,
I don't want anybody seeing your butt or your ear.
I don't want to see booty or frontal.
Now, I have a question.
Does Casey weigh in?
Casey's like, you can show chest.
You can show belly button.
So you're not allowed to do a sexy?
You can show crease.
Are you not allowed to do a sexy?
Well, apparently I have to simulate sex in the show.
So how can Casey
limit your ability
as a handsome male actor to do a sex scene?
I don't believe in that.
Because the showrunner made the mistake of saying
you don't have to do the...
The nudity part isn't necessarily
important.
I think we should see your ass.
You have a nice bubble and I think the earth needs to see it bounce.
The earth?
Yeah.
Bounce.
The whole earth?
Well, anyone who watches the show should see that shit bounce.
Right, Joelle?
Yes.
If you're comfortable with it, I don't know.
Casey's not comfortable with it.
Casey's like, ain't nobody seeing your ass bounce. Oh, I don't know. Casey's not comfortable with it.
Casey's like, ain't nobody seeing your ass bounce.
Oh, I wish she would.
She's got to loosen up about that.
She probably will loosen up about it by the time we get to it. As of right now, she's like, do you really want people to see how you fuck?
Is that what you really try?
Yeah, you do.
You want to show how good you are.
Will your eel be getting its own credit, or do you share a credit?
All right, let's talk about the show.
We share a title sequence.
It's the eel and the pig.
A shared card.
Yeah, shared card.
Shared card.
Speaking of names for cocks, that's how the show opens up.
JD's name is – his penis's name is Little Buddy.
He doesn't like that.
He wishes it was named Big Al.
And this moment when I'm dancing naked in front of Tara Reid is what I told you in the last episode when my sock fell off and she was able to see my giblets in their entirety.
That's unfortunate for her.
No.
It might have been nice for her. No, it might have been nice for her,
but I remember thinking like, oh no, Tara,
there's a lot of air conditioning and I have more to offer the world than what you're seeing.
For fuck's sake, just stop talking about willies.
Sorry, Deb.
Sorry, Deb.
Just one more second, Deb.
We're getting into willie talk.
But do you have a name for your stuff?
My junk? No, I don't. I don't. I don't. Do you?
Well, you've named my junk.
Eel.
Eel. Black whale.
I never called it black whale.
How have you, when you yeah you did you had to do this too for um for scrubs when that episode where you're walking in through the uh the parking lot
so you just take a tube sock and you just kind of tuck everything in and that's what that's what
fell off when i started doing that wacky dance you didn't put like you didn't try to put like a
rubber band at the base?
Well, I didn't want to cut off circulation
and lose a nut.
You're not going to cut off circulation, dude.
What if they were like,
that's a cut on the scene, Zach.
Your scrotum is blue.
They make these things for sex.
Oh, I didn't.
So you're not going to cut yourself off off i didn't have anything professional like that
um color me mine what sorry you were very very very uh secure in the fact that a sock
would be able to keep little buddy covered well i i learned the the way, no pun intended, Donald, that it did not work.
So Tara Reid, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
So color me mine, the very, very adorable African-American man next to me is Pookie,
who was one of our main lighting electricians on the show for almost the whole run of the show.
He was Pookie in the beginning.
Then he was like, I don't want to be called Pookie no more.
My name's Chris.
I never got a chance. Maybe that was you being tough guys like Alpha Males. He was always Pookie to me.
No, buddy. He changed his name to everybody halfway through because he was sick and tired of being called Pookie.
Well, I never heard that. I never got the memo. If I saw him today, I'd give him a, well, I wouldn't be able to give him a big hug, but I'd yell Pookie.
Remember when Pookie lost all that weight too?
Yeah.
By the way, Pookie may have been in the rerun dance sequence.
Absolutely.
He was.
Absolutely.
He was.
Great guy.
Really, really great guy.
Yeah.
What?
One of, one of our favorites.
Yeah.
And he was one of the, some of the, some of the crew members did the whole nine years
with us.
And I think Pookie came and went a little bit, but he was with us almost the whole time.
Electrician
setting and focusing the lights.
And he made a lot
of cameos
on the show. This is the beginning
of seeing him.
But you'll find him
a lot more as the series goes on.
There's a gag reel moment in one of the seasons
where I'm running lines
with him uh he was playing do you remember that he was playing oh yeah it we actually filmed it
and it wasn't you guys weren't running lines somebody was supposed to be in the scene they
were like all right pookie it wasn't you though i think it was a woman was it yeah yeah and they
were like pookie you get up in there and do it and he gets in there and we all thought he was
gonna freaking uh you know be like i can't do it guys and he gets in there and we all thought he was going to freaking be like, I can't do it, guys.
He played the shit out of it. He played it.
He went hardcore with it, too. The funny thing is
he still had all his gear on. All the gear
on. He had his walkie-talkie earpiece
and all that shit, but he just played it so
straight like he was Elliot or something. It was so fun.
It was really good, man. It was really awesome,
man. All right, listen.
I don't know if it's us. Tara
and I, or I'm feeling it's probably
stunt people that fall out of that tree but you can totally see the mat that's hidden under like
a really lame piece of astroturf i just i just love i love the fact that jd's ideal date with
a girl to kiss for the first time was in a tree. Yeah. He's such a nerd.
Just like the song.
Just like the song.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G?
That's right.
Classic.
JD is such a fucking dork.
It's amazing he got these great women because he is so nerdy.
I think it's so endearing.
I think it's so endearing that this is how JD is.
I think you don't think his sense of-
No, I do.
I think he's nerdy and charming and people and women and men, depending on what you're
into, love to laugh.
And so he gets, I'm guessing he gets chicks.
I mean, obviously he's a doctor, which is impressive, but also because he's silly and
goofy and makes them laugh.
Wow.
He reminds me of Hugh Grant in, what's that?
In every Hugh Grant movie.
Right, pretty much.
But him and Julia Roberts.
Oh, Notting Hill?
Notting Hill.
And how Hugh Grant's kind of like, oopsie daisy.
Like, J.D. says things like that.
And that's, I don't know, that's endearing.
I totally get why J.D. has such a great, is a ladies man.
How about that door hit I do at 328?
That was pretty damn nice.
Yeah, I wrote that down.
If I give myself a comedic stunt pat on the back, it's a nice door hit.
And I don't think I'd done a glass door hit since the pilot.
So there you go, ladies and gentlemen.
I think that's the first time I've run into that, what's supposed to be the very same door.
Although in the pilot, we all know we were in a different hospital.
Yeah, and the fact that these two are so comfortable, you know, in the fact that J.D. is so comfortable in Cox's house fooling around with this young lady is a little, that was just
caught me kind of off guard. When he walked in and he was like
and he's yelling at the two of you for
you know, cuddling and being all cutesy
in the morning and stuff. Yeah.
That caught me off guard. Like the fact that J.D.
feels that comfortable now
that he's willing to bang in Dr. Cox's
house is... It's pretty funny though
when he catches me naked and I hold up
the picture of his baby in front of my groin. And he like right well that and then i turn it around and it's him
and by the way it's the season one promotional picture yeah like way to go props department
like let's just grab a fucking scrubs promo pic of him and put it in the frame
um that was funny yeah a waffle time song he's like do not sing the when i come in the frame. That was funny. Yeah. A Waffle Time song.
He's like,
do not sing the,
when I come in the kitchen,
I'm like,
Waffle Time,
it's Waffle Time.
Won't you have some
waffles of mine?
I don't know if that's the melody.
I was going to ask you
because at the end of it.
Won't you have some
waffles of mine?
I forgot what the melody was,
but.
Well,
at the end of it,
you sing along with him.
So,
was this something that
you two made up at that moment no he's like you're talking about how comfortable he is jd's walking
into his kitchen and like morning waffle time waffle time won't you have some waffles of mine
but as an but as actors was this something that bill was like this is how the song goes or was
it something that john c made up or was it something that you know what i mean because
i probably made it up i don't know if john John C. is the stupid, silly jingle maker-upper like I am, because I could
have a whole career as a jingle writer, Donald.
Word?
Why aren't you doing that?
There's so much money in it.
Not really.
No, there's not.
Yeah, there is.
In that Dudley Moore movie, funny, what was the Dudley Moore movie?
What year was that, dude? Yeah, they were. In that Dudley Moore movie, funny. What was the Dudley Moore movie? What year was that, dude?
Yeah, they were freaking killing it.
But you know who wrote dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- More jingles than you fucking could believe. Have you ever seen John Tesh at Red Rock? No, I don't know what that is.
It's him playing.
Oh, dude.
At the venue?
Yeah, wait.
That's where he did the round ball rock thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Red Rocks is the venue in Colorado.
Oh, Red Rocks I've heard of.
Yeah, beautiful out to our venue.
But Donald, I thought you'd be impressed that I know.
That's fucking John Tesh's greatest hit. You guys have seen the video where he describes coming up
with that right no but do you think he made do you think that was just a buyout or did he make
nine zillion dollars off of it what i don't know maybe could be what dan what was unique about him
coming up with it oh it's just it's just so funny because he sends himself a voicemail
where he's like hey uh, just remember this one for later.
All right, I'll talk to you later, bye.
And it's just like a voicemail he plays
at Red Rocks for everybody.
I'm going to find the video.
I'll send it to you.
Oh, that's funny.
No, but there's a lot of them.
If you're interested in this topic,
for those of you who are a little bit confused, John Tesh was the host of Entertainment Tonight for basically most of our childhood and lives.
Him and Mary Hart.
Yeah, and this was back when there weren't all these other streaming things.
So it was like what was on.
You watched Entertainment Tonight, and he was an entertainment journalist.
And he had this side hustle, which was probably way more lucrative than being an entertainment anchor, where he would write jingles.
And if you look up, if you Google it, he wrote a lot of fucking music and a lot of jingles you know.
No, he was a concert pianist, dude.
Okay.
Well, I'm saying he also, in addition to that song, what is that, the NBA fucking jingle. He wrote a lot of other ones.
It's actually only the NBA on NBC.
That's what he wrote.
All right.
Well, I wouldn't have known that.
Well, it's not the NBA song anymore.
You don't hear that song anymore.
You know what else he wrote?
You know what else he wrote?
What you trying to get into?
A day of show.
No, he did not.
What you trying to do?
No, he did not.
Do not give that man credit for writing that.
But I'll tell you what.
I could pull up on my phone in a similar way.
When Donald and I were about to do the podcast, I said, we got to have a dope theme song.
And I played to Donald something like this.
And then Donald sent something back to me riffing on it.
Someday I'll have to play you.
And that's what we sent to Charlie, who then went and made it dope.
Well, it was a genius idea.
You were like, it should be like the Jeffersons.
And I was like, oh, shit.
But we turned it into like, and I know we're just reminiscing.
We turned it into a freaking fire bop.
It's a bop.
It's a bop.
It's a bop.
All right, we have a fan, and we're going to go to break.
We will be right back after these words. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The
Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and
search The Bright Side. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions.
I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast,
Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions,
including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
You can't go around it, so you just go through it.
This is a roadblock.
It's going to catch you down the road.
Go through it.
Deal with it.
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.
He died of a brain tumor.
It's part of what happens when your kid dies.
Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.
Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more. Join me on season three
of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite
podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part
of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning.
26 seasons of the samba, the rumba and the cha-cha.
24 partners, 6 finals and 2 mirrorball trophies.
She knows all the secrets, the behind the scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting.
It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies and Spray Tans.
We'll take you all the way back to season one
and up through today for the dance floor drama
like you wouldn't believe.
Former partners, co-stars, friends and frenemies
will join Cheryl each week.
Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
It's Chelsea Handler. And if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea, you know that I love
making space for women to share their stories. And that is why I'm excited to be part of Women
Take the Mic, iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change,
and create culture. All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio,
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It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show.
Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcasts.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're back.
We're back.
We're back.
We're back with the Amanda Kababi.
Give it to her, Donald.
Give her the Oprah.
Amanda Kababi.
Holy shit.
Yes.
It's true.
Holy shit.
It's true, Amanda.
It's real.
It happened.
Hi.
I'm not gonna lie.
I started drinking wine because I was nervous and I was like,
I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. So we'll figure it out, I guess.
I'm drinking wine too. It's okay.
Oh, really? I thought we had a new let's not drink during the podcast rule, Donald.
Okay.
I broke that rule.
Oh, I see. Good to know.
Amanda, you're welcome to drink.
Welcome to the program.
How are you?
Where are you?
What's going on?
I'm good.
I am in my apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey.
Represent.
Hoboken.
Hoboken in the house.
I am Jersey through and through in one of those ways where I'm like suburban Jersey,
not Jersey Shore Jersey.
I'm sure Zach keeps it in people know. Yes, like me.
We people like us don't like
that Jersey Shore stereotype because
that's not us.
Are you a Saku sushi eater?
Oh my God. He's just
going to drop the few Jersey things he
knows. He knows like a Jersey City sushi place.
When you get the app, well, it's the best sushi
you can find. Is it Hoboken or Jersey City?
It's in Hoboken. When you get the opportunity, Saku, when the best sushi you can find. Is it Hoboken or Jersey City? It's in Hoboken.
When you get the opportunity, Saku.
When you get a chance, Saku Hoboken.
Saku Hoboken.
Remember I said this to you.
You know why they call it Bro-Boken, Amanda?
Because of all the bros?
Frat boys.
There's a lot of frat boys.
Is it still that way?
When I was around, it was like, oh, I'm not going to Bro-Boken.
Very much so.
So I also went to Rutgersers university and i feel like it was
very much you did you go to ruckers too no i just have a lot of friends went to ruckers love it well
it just it felt like we like graduated ruckers and some people weren't ready and they moved into
downtown hoboken yeah i remember the percentage of baseball hats backwards uh was very high
also hoboken floods like a beast doesn't it it absolutely i moved to the top of the hill i pay
a fucking astronomical amount in rent but i don't flood luckily right on uh did you vote amanda you
know today just this is made before you answer this is oh good you're wearing a voting t-shirt
uh schoolhouse rockland just to remind uh uh you Amanda, this is airing on Election Day Tuesday.
So we're encouraging everyone who hasn't to vote.
But you're wearing a voting T-shirt, so you did vote.
I'm wearing – well, I'm going to drop it off this weekend.
I have it here.
I'm going to drop it off.
Good, good.
Thunderous applause, Dan.
Thunderous applause.
Turn.
Key is turned.
Thank you.
Good.
Jersey, not usually a swing state, but I think we usually go blue.
But we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
We'll see.
It's today.
It's today.
Yeah.
What do you do, Amanda, to pay for your fancy apartment?
Well, I am a video producer.
I work in development, so like video development, TV development at Hearst Magazines.
So we have like Cosmo, Men-Flyer, Men's Health.
I know you guys are always talking about Men's Health.
Yeah, Donald and I want to get on the cover.
If we get our abs enough,
if you could put in a recommendation for us.
I will hook it up.
I will do what I can.
My life goal is to one day before they shovel me in a hearse
to have my abs so impressive that they're like,
he's got to be on the cover of Men's Health.
Come on, guys.
Oh, dude.
Right. I want to be in that. And you know what I want to do? That one and people's most beautiful. Like I've been dying for that one. I know I'm getting a little long in the
tooth and everything like that. Oh, you mean sexiest man alive? That's not going to happen
for you dude. No, you can be in most beautiful, but you're not, you're too old to be the sexiest
man alive. You never know. You never know. I think to be the sexiest man alive you never know you never know i think you're the sexiest man alive don't give me that face but it's usually
someone younger like a you know it's younger younger kind of thing no okay i take it back
i'm sorry can you yeah he's lost the ability to speak which is so
which is so hard for him. I really fucked him up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
By the way, speaking of-
Do you have a question, Amanda?
Yeah.
By the way, I digress for a moment.
When we last week talked about virtual having sex via VR with each other, everyone and their cousin weighed in that there is, of course, a Black Mirror episode about this.
So thank you for reminding us.
If you don't watch Black Mirror, watch Black Mirror.
But there's a very, very fascinating slash bizarrely hilarious, interesting commentary on sexuality episode of Black Mirror, including VR sex between two hetero friends.
So there you go.
Amanda, Amanda, Amanda,
do you have a question for us to cheer Donald up?
The sexiest man alive in my eyes.
I can't, you can't, you can't.
No, no, no.
Amanda, I am, I am not the sexiest man alive.
According to Zach, my best friend.
If I put out a magazine.
My best friend said to me,
oh no, you're never
going to get that. Those were his
exact words. I'm just going to put it out there.
Oh no, you're never going to get that.
My heart
is... Oh man, I feel bad.
You could. It's just usually
like a Timothee Chalamet.
Shut the fuck up
when I look at him
you hurt me so bad
shall i bring you together with a question yes please change the subject amanda this is horrible
all right well i hope this brings up good memories, not bad memories. But one of my questions was, so what is the worst trouble the two of you have gotten into together, whether it was onset of scrubs or not onset of scrubs?
How are you going to ask me this question? I can't answer this question. I can't answer this question. We got into a lot of trouble that we've gotten into we can't even talk about
there were there were times where speak carefully i am i'm trying my hardest to right now there were
times where i was like i can't believe that shit happened or we put ourselves we got into a lot of
wacky i can't believe we put ourselves into that situation
and that shit happened.
Yeah.
You don't want to give a lot of money
and a lot of fame to two guys in their mid-20s.
No.
And expect that they're not going to get into some man.
You don't want to do it to anyone in their mid-20s.
Not two guys.
To anyone in their mid-20s.
Too much money at a young age is not a good thing.
We had some adventures.
And that's all we'll say.
That's it.
As Donald pours another glass of wine for himself
at fucking two in the afternoon.
Amanda, we'll give you another question
because that one we can't really fully answer.
Okay, fine.
That's fair.
So I was actually going to ask.
So Zach, I'm like obsessed with Garden State.
Thank you. My high school me would probably literally pass away if she knew this was happening right now oh my god and so i also was like i'm nerdy where i listen to the commentary
and i'm pretty sure i remember you saying something about uh a bunch of pas you had to
have them drive really slow on the 405 to create traffic yeah yeah so i work in production also and i'm constantly asking our
pas to do crazy shit again i've had to do crazy shit so i'm wondering what is your guys what's
the craziest thing you guys have had to do early on in your career um oh wow gosh um questions
those are good questions yeah pa i had to do a lot there's a lot of stuff uh as a pa that was
just stupid and dangerous.
They would have us go lock up.
When you're a precious, they say, go lock up that street, meaning don't let anyone come down it.
And it would be like in a really dangerous neighborhood at night.
And I'd be like the little nerdy kid like being like, excuse me, everyone, you're not allowed to come down the street.
You'll be like, fuck you.
And I'd be like uh guys
guys we're making a video and like and there were a few times there are many many times in manhattan
and at night where i really almost got my ass kicked begging people to not walk down a street
because we were making some like mariah carey video or something you were probably a really
good fucking pa then i was a good pa because the rest of the pas were getting high
in the fucking cube truck and like not doing and they i was so into it you i wanted to be a director
art so badly i wanted to be a filmmaker so badly so they come over the walkie they'd be like we
need pas doing this and like no one would reply so i'd be like i'm on it and i'd run over there
and do it and then they'd be like okay now we need a pa to be doing this and i'd be like no answer because they're all just fucking
getting high and i'd be like i'll do that too and like so i was just running all over the place i
was i was like i wanted to be like the best pa in the history of pas oh my god what about you
donald did you have any odd crazy jobs someone made you do no because you kind of got it you were working early no you never had a real job no i did have a real job actually it's an interesting story um so
after i had i had a little bit of success early on in my career like i did a bunch of commercials
and stuff like that and because of that i you know as a young actor in New York City, I would always go to my
agent's office and hang out. And so I got to know my agents and made my face very recognizable so
that if anything came through, they would be like, yo, we're going to send Donald out on this.
I made myself so available there that they needed somebody to work at the front desk.
And I was like, yo, you know what?
I'll take the job.
I'll take the job.
I'll do that.
And they were like, okay, bet.
And so I learned what it was like to be an agent.
I sat, I, you know, looked at breakdowns.
You know, the agents would, you know, write down the actors or artists who they wanted to go out for these parts.
And I would have to type it all up and write the letter and send it out to all of the casting directors for the submissions.
I didn't get good at it, but this was a great way for me to submit myself on things that I really wanted to be in.
If it came through and my name wasn't on it,
I would secretly type my name into that shit
and be like, Donald Faison.
And I'd put my headshot in and send it out for submissions.
I didn't get clueless.
And I got to go out of town for a really long time.
But I want to keep the job because, you know,
as an actor, you're like, I got to make,
I'm making money and I'm getting a paycheck,
so I'm able to buy the shit I want.
And I asked my mom and I'm like, mom, will you take over for me?
Will you work the desk for me?
And she was like, yeah, absolutely.
No problem.
And so while I'm away doing Clueless, she works this job for me.
And when I come back, I'm like, okay, mom, I want my job back.
And the agents at my agency were like, no, you know what, Donald?
That's no longer your job.
We want to give it to your mom.
And I was like, what?
And they were like, yeah, we're going to give it to your mom.
And your mom is going to work as the front desk.
So my mom was already working in theater,
and she was like a director at the National Black Theater in Harlem.
And she had worked with a bunch of actors in the community and everything like that.
And so she had her finger on the pulse when it came to young African-American or old African-American actors in New York City.
And as time went on working at the front desk, she then moved on to become, you know, an agent.
And, you know.
A very successful agent.
Well, she tapped into the community that she, you know, knew very well.
And now has so many people working on Broadway.
She's broke.
So Laz Lonzo, she broke him.
Like, you know.
To this day, when I run into, there's so many times i run into african-american actors in new york and their way into me is like yo yo shirley fazon's
my agent like they like they know that that's the way to start talking because of donald it gets it
gets bigger than that though and then it turns into my mom is now you know working with all of these like they're leah michelle kristin bell like
the so she anyway the funny thing your mom took your desk job and then it's like working girls
she all of a sudden became like a super powerful agent within a few years this happened and it was
all because of this odd job that i want like this wasn't a just i don't know that many actors that
work at their agent's office.
That just doesn't sound right. I never knew that trivia about you.
See, even I am learning Donald Faison trivia
on this very podcast.
Bring a little optimism into your life
with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast
from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday,
we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. and search the bright side. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road.
Go through it.
Deal with it.
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.
He died of a brain tumor.
It's part of what happens when your kid dies.
Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.
Old rock icon, Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more.
Join me on season three of Many Questions
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
Seven questions, limitless answers.
Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba,
and the cha-cha. 24 partners, six finals, and two mirrorball trophies. She knows all the secrets,
the behind-the-scenes arguments, and the affairs,
the flings, the flirting, and the fighting. It's time to tell it all on her new podcast,
Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans. We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today
for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe. Former partners, co-stars, friends,
and frenemies will join Cheryl each week.
Listen to Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
It's Chelsea Handler, and if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea,
you know that I love making space for women to share their stories.
And that is why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic,
iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change, and create culture.
All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music, and podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the most significant issues facing us today.
us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service, The Psychology of Your 20s,
and Dear Chelsea. It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show.
Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcasts.
Man, fuck you, man.
I ain't going to be, I'm not sexy enough for you.
So fuck you, man.
You ain't know no trivia about me.
You don't care about me.
You don't even think I'm sexy.
You know, you may have had a shot at that if your wife would allow you to have your ass
bopping up and down on that
fucking show women women and gay men really like to see a man's ass bounce in a sex scene on tv
right joelle amanda do you want to weigh in honestly sex scenes i don't know what is wrong with me they
make me so uncomfortable i know i agree because you know how the sausage is made you've seen you've
seen how this is exactly what i'm talking about do you remember it makes you uncomfortable
no it makes you uncomfortable zach but you are thrusting you're throwing me into the fucking fire
no i want to say something.
I want to see your ass.
I want to see your ass.
If I had your ass, I would write sex scenes into my own movies and just bounce my shit.
No, but listen, do you guys remember when we were growing up?
And then for some reason, the character's ass is bouncing.
When we were growing up, every fucking movie movie it was like and now it's time
for the sex scene it was like incorporated into the movie you know i was 11 watching garden state
with no sex scene we cut around it we cut around the people scene oh that yeah oh yeah sorry i
remember being like but that was meant to be out that was meant to be outrageous but like the natalie
scene we weren't about to do like a fucking sex scene.
We like, we start making out
and then you cut to us cuddling.
But do you remember like,
it was like you couldn't have a movie back in the day
where it was like the music would start
and they'd be shooting through like the foggy lens
and you'd like, oh my God, it's time.
And people liked it.
It was like a turnout.
I guess it was like, oh, this,
maybe it was like people are on a date and this is going to get them riled up to go home and hook up.
But now, yes, now in movies, I think it's pretty odd, right, to see like a real sex scene.
Unless there's a genuine reason for it.
When it cuts, like, you just want to like, okay, they start making out and then cut to later.
We don't need to see them fucking fuck unless of course they have Donald's ass.
What do you guys think on this topic?
Yeah.
I find sex scenes uncomfortable now in movie theaters, mainly because I, you know, movies that were acceptable to us when we were younger.
I can't show my kids now.
And so movies that come on and all of a
sudden something that's very sexual. And I like the fact, I'm sorry, but I like the fact that my
kids have no idea what sexuality is. I love that fact about them right now and they don't need to
learn about that. And I don't want to taint that. I don't want them to have to see that until they're ready.
And I don't, me personally, I don't think a seven-year-old and a five-year-old.
I'm just talking about like that change in this.
I'm not talking about like that.
Joelle, what are your thoughts on this?
You're a pop culture expert.
Yeah, I think sex scenes are good if they are improving the story, if they're telling story.
I don't like when it's like, and now, like, two hot people smashing bodies.
It's weird.
But, like, normal people, the series on Hulu, like, those sex scenes, like, show how the characters evolve through time and over their relationship.
And they're, like, essential to the storytelling.
And so I feel like.
Yes.
And also, like, what you're going to add.
I mean, you guys are actual actors.
But I always feel like it's weird to ask actors to perform them if it's not pertinent to the story.
Like, who is this for?
What's happening?
I disagree with you guys.
I think sex scenes make me uncomfortable, but I think everybody loved Game of Thrones, and that had some ridiculous sex scenes in it that had nothing to do with pushing the story forward.
In the beginning, they did.
Then they started becoming like weird i thought and also also to that point amelia clark decided she was
not doing any more nude scenes after the reactions to all that stuff so i think right there was a bit
of a gratuitous nature to it that kind of soured what maybe the even george rr martin was upset
with the way some of them and he's like it's not how they were written in the book or why they were there.
Well, she did, but that didn't stop them from having them in the show.
No, it did not.
It was very prominent in the show, and we all watched and loved that show.
So we can't really say. I'm not saying that nudity is bad, Donald.
I'm just saying.
Well, until the last episode.
I'm just saying in the 80s and 90s in a lot of r-rated
movies it was like if i felt like people thought it was mandatory you went to an r-rated movie you
went on your date but where's our sex scene you know i don't know man some of my favorite movies
didn't have sex scenes in them like the breakfast club or i'm talking about like we could go through
all the john hughes movies these are big ass movies for that time though
you know what i mean you're picking the wrong genre i'm talking about r-rated sort of thriller
uh at the time at the time those movies were were out though we were like you're old enough to not
every movie has a sex scene like annie for example no sex scenes in annie miss hannigan never arrived
you just they cut it.
That would have been the best musical number ever.
That would have been the best musical number ever.
It's a knock life for us. No, no, no, no, no, no.
What's the one?
What's the one?
Amanda, I'm sorry you had to see that.
All right, Amanda, it's time for everyone's favorite segment.
Donald, stop laughing. But I think I've won you back. amanda it's time for everyone's favorite segment donald stop laughing
but i think i've won you back ready it's time to fix your life
all right how can we help our favorite jersey girl um all right well so this is not just fixing
my life it's going to fix basically all of my friends lives lives also. On it. Ready. So I, I mean, I just turned 27.
It's quarantine. I'm like newly single, all these different things. I think I'm in the
throes of a quarter life crisis. Yes. How does one get through a quarter life crisis?
Ooh. Ooh. You got to go through it, but there is work you can do. There are, there are books and podcasts and seminars,
and one can take action. That's what I think. I think I've, when I was going through a lot of
that stuff, I did a lot of work on myself. Some of it was as simple as a therapist,
um, um, just to get myself talking. But I, I would ask for self-help book recommendations. I took workshops.
Now there's TED Talks. I mean, you can't just sit back. My attitude about life when you're
in a crisis mode, even if it's mild or real crisis, like in this episode, there's a suicidal
story, is that you have to be proactive. You can't just
sit and wait for it to fix itself. You have to take steps to do the work. I mean, I have fired
so many therapists just because I always pick fights with them because that's the kind of
person that I am. But my brother just told me to read this book, The Art of Not Giving a Fuck or
something. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. something but i don't know subtle art of not yeah you guys have any books that you recommend
i'm not a strong reader so you know donald only reads the back of the star wars video game box
and then also in star wars comics um are also uh in terms of dating which always cheers people up um um are you are you actively
trying are you on the apps are you trying to meet somebody new yeah i'm on the apps the apps just
like i don't know if it's just my area or what produced like a certain quality you got a lot of
bros there you maybe have to go to manhattan you know and i changed my location in manhattan i
don't know if it's like i'm not playing the app game right or what,
but either the people, I either don't get any action on the apps
or the action I get is like, and literally forgive me,
but like the first message is sit on my face.
And I'm like, you are not somebody I want to date.
Okay.
That's funny that that's someone's pickup line, sit on my face.
I've gotten that three times in quarantine.
Wow.
I'm so sorry.
Wow.
These apps, man.
Joelle, don't worry. We're going to find you
a good one, not whatever one she's on.
Okay, good. I look forward to it.
We're trying to set Joelle up. No one's going to say
sit on my face to you, Joelle. We're going to protect you.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Well, at least not
on the first freaking DM.
That's very weird.
Say hi first, then ask.
At least be like, hi, my name is
Roger. Sit on my face.
At least that, right?
Do you mind if I give Amanda some advice on this quarter life
crisis situation? Yes, please.
You're way smarter on this than anybody.
You're probably, yeah, you're the one to go
to for this.
I recently, having come out of my quarter life crisis,
I was at, you said you're 25?
27. 27, okay. So you're getting toward the end of the craziness, right?
And the best advice I got at that age was like 28 and 29 are going to be so hard, but all the work that you're doing, all the stuff you're pushing through, all the things you're discovering about
yourself, all the people you're dating and rejecting or trying to accept, all the friendships
that will either fall apart or strengthen during this time, like all of that will solidify by 30.
And then it's like, I've learned all of the lessons, right? The very challenging part of
your late twenties is over. And like, by the time you hit 30, it's like, oh, I get why I had to go
through all of that. So it sucks when you're in it. But like, don't panic. It's how it's supposed to be.
It's the struggle is is fortifying you for all of the great things that are about to happen.
Right. And you're like very solid in your career. It sounds like it sounds like you've
developed a strong voice. You clearly seem to know yourself pretty well. So, you know,
give yourself some time, maybe find a therapist that knows how to fight you back.
My therapist constantly looks at me and goes, you know, is that real? What you're telling me?
Oh, maybe not. She's like, right. So, you know, let's steer this direction.
Also, what I remember writing when I, about Garden State was that I felt like my teen years were my body's puberty and my 20 years were my mind's puberty.
Yes. Because there's so much happening. You're figuring out who you are, who you want to be,
what kind of relationship you truly want, what kind of job you want, where you want to live.
All of this is happening and it's changing all the time. Just like when you're going through puberty changes and you're like, what the fuck is this new feeling that's happening
in your mind? So I would, a big thing I would say to you is don't make it wrong. Like this is
normal. I think people start having panic attacks when they go, what's wrong with me? It's like you,
I mean, as you know, I made a fucking movie about it. Like this is, this is a very, very, very
normal. Um, everything that's happening to you and
and so many people are going through what you're going through i can't i not to sound like the
the downer of it but i think everybody's in crisis always you know what i mean i think
life is so exhausting as it is that we're always like when this is over, you're going to find something else to fixate on and
focus on. And that'll be your next dilemma. But for the most part, you have to go through it
and know that this is a journey and know that you're doing this. Everything that you're doing
now is setting up what comes later. And I think, yeah, you know, I don't recall my 20s being a crisis
and maybe because I numbed it by going out and partying and experiencing,
you know, being in a pandemic doesn't necessarily help where we're at.
You know what I mean?
That kind of-
That's extra hard too.
You're going through these feelings and the dating conundrum during this pandemic,
which is just so extra hard. And, and I really, really feel for you.
I don't understand people who date on the apps in the middle of COVID.
I'm like, you're gonna get it. You know what I mean?
Russian roulette.
I know, especially if you're sitting on people's faces.
All right. I don't know if we've fixed her life,
but we at least are here to cheer you on and say
we care about you and you're not alone. And I'm a big proponent of therapy. We promote a couple of
the different apps on here that I have not just bullshit because we promote them. I have friends
that use them and really have gotten great results from them. Good thing about them is
if you don't like the person on the first try,
you can just keep changing until you find somebody you like.
And I think people have gotten good results of that.
I know a lot about therapy because I have two parents that are psychologists.
So I've gotten a lot of success out of a type of therapy
called someone who's a cognitive behaviorist
because I've done enough talking about my past.
I've done enough like, oh, I was sad when they made fun of me.
And at this point, a cognitive behavior is just a little more like,
let's talk about the plan.
It's a little more like a coach being like, here's the plan for this week.
You don't want X to happen, then we're going to do Y.
You want to be more like this, then we're going to do this.
So if that type of therapist has been very helpful to me in my life,
you might seek someone like that out.
The life coach. Yeah. And, and, and cause I, I, some people like to lie on a couch and, and,
and talk about the pain they've experienced and that works and is helpful. And some people need
to do that. I'm not minimizing it. I've done plenty of it. I'm just saying at this point in
my life, and again, I'm, I'm much older than you, but I, I've gotten a lot of help out of someone
who's like, okay, I hear what you're feeling. I hear where you want to get to. I hear that you're stressed about this or this. Here's the plan
for this week that's going to be put in place by us as a team to make you get there. And that
could be finding a partner. That could be finding a job. That could be whatever you fucking want it
to be. I would also just like to add one thing to what Zach is saying is that like when you're
doing your Googles for this kind of thing, make sure that you search both words like life coach,
but also specifically cognitive behavioral therapy
because they're different things that have similar goals,
and you just might get people who are life coaches
who are going to help you work through stuff.
But I really back up what Zach is saying
when you can have someone who's professional with experience
give you like A, B, C,
and that's really going to come from a cognitive behavioral
therapist and i always feel because i know i'm going to talk to him once a week that i it's like
i have to have my homework done like i want to i want to i want to impress him so i'm always like
oh i'm going to do that shit i promised him i would do because i i made a commitment anyway
i'm rambling i think we can say you're welcome right donald can we say you're welcome i mean
i mean maybe half you're welcome no we could say you're welcome we've set her on a path we've given her we've given her some
tools that she can use to better herself uh and take this journey that she's on into a positive
direction and not fall into the abyss that is depression the most powerful thing you need to
know is that you are not alone you are not alone everybody deals with this shit i think some people spiral out because they go
what's wrong with me no what's wrong with you is that you're a human being and everybody deals
with this and all these people you see on tv and the reality shows living these fucking bullshit
lives it's all bullshit they deal with it too and uh you are not alone everybody goes through it okay that's right
no one's no one's truly happy yeah well no some people are happy but i but but everybody has their
demons they battle everybody has their their their sources of pain and uh and i think it's very
important for you to know that you're not alone all right amanda my favorite jersey girl thank
you thank you thank. Bye guys.
Bye Amanda. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast
from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday,
we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions.
I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions,
including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
You can't go around it, so you just go through it.
This is a roadblock.
It's going to catch you down the road.
Go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it.
Deal with it.
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.
He died of a brain tumor.
It's part of what happens when your kid dies.
Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.
Old rock icon, Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three
of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite
podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. She knows all the secrets, the behind-the-scenes arguments, and the affairs, the flings, the flirting, and the fighting.
It's time to tell it all on her new podcast, Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans.
We'll take you all the way back to season one and up through today for the dance floor drama like you wouldn't believe.
Former partners, co-stars, friends, and frenemies will join Cheryl each week. Listen to Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
It's Chelsea Handler, and if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea,
you know that I love making space for women to share their stories.
And that is why I'm excited to be part of Women Take the Mic,
iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence change and create culture.
All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music and podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the most significant issues facing us today.
Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of International Women's Day episodes from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service, The Psychology of Your 20s, and Dear Chelsea.
It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show.
Listen to Women Take the Mic on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
We got to talk more about the show, dude.
People get mad that we don't talk about the show enough.
We got to talk more about the show.
Are you telling me people have grievances with the show?
Oh, fucking people have grievances.
Grievance.
Grievance.
Grievance. This is a new segment that I call grievance.
Oh, Jesus. grievance this is a new segment that i um i call grievance oh you guys have had
brandon fraser tara reed either locklear shay sir you have so many interesting guests on the show
and you know what you haven't had is one writer of the show not one they listen to it they know They know. And so here's the tough grievance moment for you guys is what follows is three single sentences from three different writers that were on this show for a multiple of years.
There will probably be a clue in their sentence.
Unless you can identify these three writers by the sentence clue, I'm afraid I'm going to have to pull the plug on our podcast.
On our podcast. Get ready.
Get your thinking caps off.
Are you guys ready?
Wait, wait.
I have a question, Daniel.
These are sentences that Bill's going to say that we should know who the – oh, the writers themselves.
The writers themselves have submitted three sentences.
Of course you're going to know.
All three sentences are going to play out.
There's a tiny space between each one,
and then the answer is a separate file,
but we'll let everybody answer first.
All right, Donald, you might want to write down your answers
because they're going to play them in an order.
Everybody ready?
There's a small bit of silence in between each one.
Okay.
I have a lot of kids.
I like musical theater, and I don't listen on Fridays
which is today
so I'm not listening
Jewish
alright I got them all
okay I think I got them too
alright the first one is Tim Hobart
easy Tim Hobart
Gabby is the second one
Gabby is the second one. Gabby is the second one.
And I think Neil.
Neil Goldman.
Neil Goldman is the last one.
All right.
Let's hear it.
You guys ready?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
You guys better have gotten Tim Hobert, Gabby Allen Greenberg, and Neil Goldman.
Or, I mean, I got to be honest.
The podcast is over.
And that would bum out a lot of people.
Because I do love my podcast.
That was the easiest.
I like that game, though.
Yeah, that was easy, though.
That was really easy, though.
That was fun, though.
It was good to hear their voices also.
Is he still going?
I said five, six, seven, eight.
Oh!
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. Danil.
No, Danil.
We're going long.
Danil, we're going long.
We're already at hour 23, baby.
We have barely talked about the fucking show.
We got to speed through it now.
Okay.
Who should we have on?
Who do you think would be the best guest of those three?
I mean, they'd all be good, don't get me wrong, but who should we choose first?
I think I honestly believe that we should break them off into little groups you know what i mean well gabby by the way gabby uh in terms of
coming up next um gabby i'm is the first i'm looking at the schedule is wrote for some reason
wrote the next two that's impossible but she was she yeah so maybe gabby let's let's reach out and
see if she wants to do it okay
joelle will you get i don't have i i might not have her email anymore will you get her from us
yeah absolutely and i'm sure everyone would also like to heal from a very successful female comedy
writer in hollywood who wouldn't love to hear about that absolutely um all right can we talk
about this fucking show scrubs donald why why do you have to put that type
of handle on it oh what about why is that guy sitting next to the dartboard in a bar
that guy is the worst seat in the world he's literally sitting next to a dartboard as sarah
and uh and and and judy try and throw darts i was like that's a bad seat buddy yeah it was i think
it's for comedy yes i had a feeling it was for comedy i think it's for comedy. Yes. I had a feeling it was for comedy.
I think it's for comedy.
Patrick Bolton, our set dresser friend, was the bartender in that scene.
How about Elliot having hair on her lower back?
Yes.
I think a lot of women probably do have a thin layer of hair back there.
Okay.
I don't know.
Eric Estrada, Pon ponch that was great right
eric estrada uh one of my heroes as a youth everyone loves chips growing up too i gotta
tell you my dad was so anti-gun um that we were not allowed to have toy guns and he was so anti-toy gun that when i had the john doll they it was like a ken doll
size john from chips he he took the little one centimeter gun away from me wasn't allowed to have
the chips gun that's how anti-gun my dad was yeah well you know so sorry that's that's how it is i should buy that
doll on ebay and and play with the gun um we donald and i did a very funny photo shoot i don't
know if we've mentioned this before you guys can google it um it was for people a magazine i think
donald and uh we dressed up like eric estrada and john from chips we did and because i have blonde hair i have a wig on i
assume uh everyone of course says i look like dax shepherd like they do no matter what i fucking do
and because and because i put a wig and because i put a wig on and uh i look like bruno mars i had
a possibility at that time to be uh one of america's most sexiest men or people's most sexiest men
you know what i mean which was really interesting and then john and then you know dax went on to
make the chips movie which is too which which you know i was happy for him because he's an
awesome guy but you know you and i would have been a great punch and john i can't play uh
punch man no you don't have to be a hisch. You could be African-American Zonch.
You'd be a different guy.
I think we're doing a disservice
to all of the Latino-American actors.
We don't have to do the exact thing.
We could do California Highway Patrol on Motorcycle.
Anyway, we can't do it anyway.
Dax did it.
All right.
One of my favorite lines in the show,
sweet dancing Jehovah, I punctured my brain.
Yeah, that was funny.
I laughed at that one.
That was funny.
Kelso deaf and everyone, every time he walks by just saying all that shit to him.
Yes.
And then Ted missing the bus and coming in a little too late after Kelso's ears fixed.
That was so funny.
And giving him the business.
He goes, there you are, you deaf bastard.
He was like, it's like no one had told Ted until it was too late.
And he finally, he had it all stored up, ready to go.
That was fucking funny.
Like, dude, like, over time, you kind of got to feel sorry for Ted, man.
Like, oh, my gosh.
Of course you do.
Dude, it's like, first of of all his boss is a jerk to him
and then second of all he never seems to catch a break no ever nothing nothing ever works out for
him ever ever works out for him what about whack a newbie at the carnival whack a newbie whack a
newbie yeah yeah what about the fact that jd can't get uh can't't use the giant mallet to ring the bell at the carnival also?
Yeah.
I can, by the way.
But you know what is true about me?
One thing that is true about me, and you can call me a nerd or a dork or a – what other synonyms are there, guys?
A geek?
A geek.
You haven't said one bad word yet.
I do get nauseous on rides.
Oh.
Oh.
I really do.
First of all, I cannot fuck with like a teacup situation.
Like your whole life?
Yeah, I don't like them.
I will go on a fast roller coaster that's straight and fast and takes big curves.
I'm fine with that.
But I cannot do anything
spinning. I don't
like the fucking thing that drops
the Haunted Mansion.
I've done that. It makes me want to puke.
Oh my gosh. That's my favorite ride at
the cheap rides. The cheap thing that spins
and the floor drops out?
No. Oh my gosh. You know
what? As I've gotten older there's
certain things that i can't do anymore like i used to be able to get on roller coasters and all of
that stuff no problem and get on them over and over again my 40th birthday we went to disneyland
and i remember this very well uh because disney sponsored the trip and they hooked it up to where
i we you know we had a guide and everything they hooked it up to where we had a guide and everything. They hooked it up
for a person who's worked for Disney for a really
long time.
We were able to get on
the California Scream
five times. Nice.
In a row.
That's the one that does the loop.
Does the loop. Do you want to go again?
Yeah. Do you want to go again?
Yeah, we want to go again. And we did it again. Do you want to go again? Yeah. Do you want to go again? Yeah, we want to go again.
And we did it again.
Do you want to go again?
Yeah, we want to go again.
And we did it again.
Do you want to go again?
I don't know.
Yeah, we want to.
We have, I bought all my, this is the thing that I like to do for my birthday.
I like to invite all of my friends and their kids and let the kids have fun.
Because I like to have a,
like a,
like I'm a Disneyland type of birthday.
Like I'm a 46 year old man who likes to go to Disneyland.
Right.
Okay.
So anyway,
my nephews,
my nieces,
my freaking,
my,
you know,
a bunch of youth is with us.
You want to go again?
Yeah.
We want to go again to kids.
I'm like,
Oh no,
I don't think I can do it.
For the rest of the day, you know when you get that nauseous, that's like, will you make this sound?
I never had that.
What is it?
Okay, it's the sound.
It's you're trying to freaking relax your mouth.
You know how you get water?
Did you puke?
I did not puke, but for the rest of the day, I had to go.
For the rest of the day, I was going like this, though.
I went to the-
Trying to get my tongue to get that nauseous feeling away.
I went, and everyone was like, we're going again.
I was like, I'm not.
And I was like the parent that waited by the exit for everybody.
That's, yeah.
It ruined the, not my birthday, but it ruined the fact that I was like, I don't know if I'll ever get on roller coasters again.
And so since then, I can only do roller coasters one time.
And when I get off, I always feel that little bit of nausea.
Oh, that's Robot for good night?
I mean, what the hell was that?
I must have made that up.
I don't know what the hell was going on there.
How about the janitor getting a freaking new job because Kelso's deaf
and he turns it into like a radio show
where he's freaking dissing
people. By the way, speaking of being dorky,
I was the guy in high school who did
the announcements. Really?
Cool. Yes. And I remember
thinking, I mean, you know, with a group.
For all four years? All four years?
There was a team. No.
There was a team. You know Okay. There was a team.
You know, you had your sports team.
Well, I had my announcements team.
I didn't play on any sports team in high school.
No, I'm making a joke saying like, you know, like as though it was a team and we had like
practice where we'd be like, mommy made me match my M&Ms, the lips, the tippity, and
the tongue.
Yeah, I would do the announcements.
And I remember thinking I was really cool doing the announcements.
It's powerful.
Did you play like a xylophone
where you're like,
doo, doo, doo, doo?
No.
I remember,
I think we had to do
the Pledge of Allegiance,
and it was written down
so you didn't fuck it up.
Little mistake,
I think it's 1613.
In Nicole Sullivan's room, the last time we're meeting with her, there's no door on the hinges.
If you're someone who likes fuck-ups in movies, for some reason, the grips must have taken off the hospital room door.
But you can just see the hinges sitting there.
There's no door on the room.
That's interesting.
You know, if you caught that, you're not watching the show but anyway i like to i like to look in the both the
background and the foreground while i'm doing this podcast donald because i want to deliver
while doing the podcast absolutely if you're listening to this and you're wanting to catch
fuck up some stuff yeah we're going to try and catch that too. But watching movies and watching TV shows now
and not being able to get into it
because I'm noticing what's going on in the background
or noticing what's going on
because of mess ups and stuff like that,
I try not to do that now.
I try to enjoy a movie as much as I can.
I imagine it's got to be very difficult for you, Zach,
being a director.
I always look at stuff in the background
and sometimes it hurts my experience.
But that is the price I pay, Donald,
for being a movie maker.
One of the last lines we say is,
you can never underestimate the importance of listening.
And I think that's a very simple but very smart sentence,
that so much miscommunication comes from no one
really truly listening to each other.
It's hard to listen.
That's one of the hardest things to do. It's a simple thing to do, but it's actually hard to shut your brain off and listen to somebody else's stuff.
Yeah, because our brains are going, oh, what's the thing I'm going to say next? Oh,
he just reminded me of a story that now I'm going to tell. Oh, what's for dinner?
And I strive to be someone that can be truly looking at you and listening when you talk to me.
That's one of my hardest things to do.
And I've told stories about this before, you know, meeting my idols like George Lucas and stuff and not being able to listen because I was so geeked.
It's a really good thing if you can listen to someone and hear.
Because there are so many times in my life where if I would have listened,
maybe the outcome of somebody else's life would have been better. But because I was caught up in my own shit and didn't listen,
things were different.
I'm sure everybody feels that, but this is something that is, this is something that
I think we all take for granted, the ability to listen.
Yes.
So listen to each other and listen to us as we end this show and beg you to vote.
I am literally going to get down on my knees and ask you.
I will watch.
This is real.
This is actually happening.
Wow, he's doing it.
He's on his knees.
I'm down on my knees.
He's clasped his hands together as if praying to a deity.
I've never asked you, listener, for anything.
Please vote. Today is the the day go make it happen even if you've got a waiting line bring some snacks bring a lawn chair bring
a podcast if you've listened to all of this one try another one yes i just figured out how my
i've been wondering how my dog gets in and out of the vegetable garden and i just caught that
little bitch and i can call her a bitch because it's a female dog.
I just caught how that little bitch is getting into my vegetable garden.
I just saw her sneak out one of the fucking gates.
Okay, problem solved.
You guys, go vote.
We love you.
Oh, a merch.
I have a quick question.
There's plenty of merch.
Go to thecottonbureau.com
and then type in fake doctors to find all the merch.
What, Donald?
A quick question.
What?
What do you say to the people who didn't register to vote now at this point?
And we're speaking all of this.
I think there are some states where you can go on the day.
If you're listening and you never registered, I think just go to Iwillvote.com,
and you can find the answer.
Some states you can show up on the day.
There it is. All right, count us out, Donald. We love you can show up on the day. There it is.
All right.
Count us out, Donald.
We love you, everybody.
Five, six, seven, eight. That's what you know. So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our
Scrubb's Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm.
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I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
Scams a bunch of famous athletes out of untold fortunes.
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
It's just unbelievable.
Hide your money in your old Richmond because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.