Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 311: My Clean Break
Episode Date: December 8, 2020Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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What you trying to get into?
A day or two?
What you trying to do? Hmm day or two What you trying to do
You know I'm gonna be honest with y'all
Go ahead girl
Like this episode
That we had to watch
For today's podcast
Yeah
The chaos gets to you quick
Yo
It gets to you real fast man
That shit is not no bullshit, man.
It's like, bam, and then you're like, oh, my God, I'm back in it.
It's crazy, man.
You mean lockdown, you mean?
No, I'm talking about just life in general.
Listen, we've had the luxury to be able to do our podcast from the comfort of our own home.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Like a lot of people out there, I got a job.
Right.
So now I have to work during this crazy time.
So the anxiety of that already, bam, in your face.
Dude, I've been COVID tested more than I've been.
Listen, man, you can't tell me the tests aren't out there.
I'm getting tested like crazy.
Yeah.
And do you feel, is your anxiety lower?
Because when I was doing my directing gig.
It's so high.
Oh, see, I had the opposite.
When I was getting tested, like, not only for the job I did,
we'd have the longer test that takes like two days.
And then every morning we had a 15-minute test.
Those aren't as reliable, but it was just kind of like a safeguard.
And I felt great knowing at least I was finding out every day a strong percentage of a chance that I didn't have
it. Well, I don't know if I'm allowed to say how we do our testing thing. I'm not going to tell you.
You haven't even mentioned the show. You can just... Perfect.
It doesn't... No one knows. Excellent. Every two days, you get tested.
Even if you're not working. Yeah. Well, no one knows. Excellent. Every two days you get tested. Even if you're not working.
Yeah.
Well, that's great.
It's the only way
you can operate.
And by the way,
none of that's going to be
able to operate very long.
I mean,
if you look at the trajectory
of what's happening
here in Los Angeles,
it's just,
I mean,
they're going to do,
they have to do
a full shutdown.
I'm sorry.
I know,
I know that's bad news,
but this like,
this fucking ridiculous
mixed message of,
all right, we're cutting down restaurants.
Restaurants are closed except for delivery, but the mall is still open?
Like, there's so much.
That's just so much.
It's like the way I understand and respect they're trying to save businesses, but it's just it's beyond the rate is the hospital beds are running out.
So it's just I'm sure we're destined for a full lockdown.
It's a horrible thing, man.
I don't know how you combat this.
I don't know how you fight this fight right now, man.
The mixed messaging.
The freaking...
Well, the best thing you can do is not leave your fucking house unless you have to.
Agreed.
That's the most proactive thing you can do is not fucking leave your house unless you have to agree that's the that's the most active the most proactive thing you can
do is not fucking leave your house unless you have to you can you know if you have to go to
the grocery store you have to go to the grocery store you can also have them delivered if you
if you want but don't fucking leave your house i know you have a job but at least when you go
to your job you've been tested everyone's been tested that shit's crazy just to watch everybody say and roll sound and all the masks come off
for all the actors and background it's like whoa i feel naked you feel naked i know it's bizarre
right it's it's like you're breathing air that you shouldn't be breathing also also yeah fucking
hell yeah i know i saw it for you know when when we did my thing, it was just one actress, a wonderful, famous actress that I can't say who it is yet. But she, it was like, it was like protect the queen bee because she's the only person when they call Rowling that takes off her mask. So everyone steps away. Everyone's got both a mask and a face shield on. And a shield. Which I don't get.
I don't get the shield, man.
I understand you want to stop stuff, but the arousal comes around the shield.
It's not like it's just a straight shot.
That shit goes everywhere.
Well, it's better than nothing.
It's like multiple layers of protection.
Listen, if you were protecting your castle, you might just have a moat.
You might just have a moat, or you'd throw fucking crocs in the moat.
I would have fucking crocs in my moat.
The shield also protects you from rubbing your eyes, which is the way a lot of people contract it.
Keeping your hands off of your face is like a big part of stopping COVID.
That's great.
You know what I want?
I like my castle analogy better than that.
I want a fucking Mandalorian mask.
I want a true life Mandalorian mask that can freaking block out all of that shit. That's what I want a fucking Mandalorian mask. I want a true life Mandalorian mask that can freaking block out all of that shit.
That's what I want.
There's no reason you can't be wearing it.
You could wear your Mandalorian mask to set.
Yeah, do it.
Wear it.
It doesn't block out the aerosol like the real Mandalorian mask.
Speaking of Mandalorian, Zach, you have an apology to make to everybody out there.
I didn't watch the latest,
and I am sorry,
but I had to do something.
I haven't seen the latest yet.
Did you see the one with Rosario?
I saw the one with Rosario, yeah.
Yeah, you have an apology
to make to all of these people out there.
You said this series...
Listen, for everybody out there,
he's not going to apologize
because he probably still thinks it's whatever it is,
but I'm going to tell you something right now.
Woo!
I hope they unlatched, mamas.
Woo!
Listen, I'm not going to.
I think it's a wonderful show.
Did you watch The Undoing?
I haven't seen the finale, but I love it.
It is white people mad.
It's really, I mean, I don't want to say it's great
because it's shy of being great, but it's very entertaining.
It's so good.
Nicole Kidman will play the hell out of like a betrayed wife.
Like her facial expressions, I want to live inside of them.
It's so good.
It's very entertaining.
The other thing you've got to watch, I highly recommend, Donald, maybe even you'll watch this is the Heaven's Gate
documentary, which is about that cult that did the mass suicide. I don't know if you remember them.
They were the aliens coming in. Yes. The Hale-Bopp comet. And they took barbiturates and and did,
I think, 30 something of them killed themselves because they believed they were getting on a spaceship
that was trailing behind the Hale-Bopp comet
that was going to come pick them up.
And it's still to date.
This is the largest mass U.S. suicide ever.
But it's fascinating.
Yeah, you know, the power of manipulation, man.
Listen, this guy told his followers that, listen to this.
I'm going to spoil one story for you.
He goes, he's like, I think maybe because they were supposed to be asexual.
They were supposed to be like monks.
He's like, I think we should maybe, I'm having some feelings, he said.
And I think we should probably castrate ourselves.
Now, hospitals aren't going to let us do this.
So we should probably do it here. And they're like, okay, yes, yes, leader. Yes, oh, leader.
All right. So then he goes, now, I don't want to get in trouble for this. So he writes a sign
in handwritten letters above the door of the room where they're going to do it. And he writes the
word Mexico. He goes, now, if anyone tells you where you got castrated you got castrated in mexico okay so they bring the first
guy in to to cut off his scrotum and as you can imagine it goes horribly wrong and they get the
ball sack off but the dude is screaming in pain and and and his whole groin starts to blow up
like so big oh my god what so they start panicking did they show it did they show it
no because it wasn't videoed but they they're all telling these stories all these people that are
still alive people that didn't actually go through with the suicide so they they call a priest because
they think a priest will help them um like because maybe the priest understands their their desire to
be uh castrated and the priest is like what the fuck are you talking about no way and then they
go okay finally they give up they gotta go to the emergency room like, what the fuck are you talking about? No way. And then they go, okay, finally they give up. They gotta go to the
emergency room. They take it to the emergency room and they run away
but they still have the ball sack
in their hands and they're like, what do we do
with this ball sack? So they throw it
off a bridge. Oh, wow.
They threw the ball sack off a
bridge into a river. I thought you were
going to say something way more climactic
like, so they ate the ball sack. So they ate
the ball sack. So they ate the ball sack.
Heaven's gate, guys.
I highly recommend it.
I'm very interested in cults.
I mean, not to join one, in studying them.
I find them fascinating.
So let me get this straight.
Yeah.
They threw the scrotum off a bridge.
Go ahead.
Let me get this straight.
Isn't there a line that all of a sudden you know
because nobody wants to be judged right so you'd have to be able to go into this without judgment
to be able to study cults like let's say you were able to do something like that to be able to go
in and be a documentarian and study cults don't you think at some point some of the message starts to seep in though?
It's very interesting. You know, something I learned from watching this documentary is you
might think, oh, these people are simpletons who've been brainwashed and had their mind
taken over. And they have obviously in the documentary interview lots of cult specialists,
and they say they're very often very intelligent people. You know, in fact,
in this cult, a lot of them were computer. This was early in the 80s of computers, and they were
like computer geniuses. And the way they actually funded the cult was from doing computer work for
people because they were very, very smart men and women. So I don't know. It's a certain type of person that is susceptible to it
I don't think just anyone and everyone is susceptible
to having their brain sort of taken over
by another human being
but as you see from all these cults
from you name it
from Manson to Waco to Hale-Bopp
to lots of them
people become so they think that the leader is
the messiah and they don't want them they don't want to upset the messiah they want to do whatever
the messiah says it sounds like my marriage how was your marriage you guys getting along
i love my wife we got some good stuff going on, man.
It's real nice right now.
Wow, you heard something?
I just heard from her that I'm not happy.
I'm just kidding.
No, your wife's the most in love woman I know.
We're kissing again, I'll tell you that much.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
Well, you stopped kissing for a while?
Well, you know, you get sick of each other.
That's life.
That's how it goes.
Especially now.
Yes, you know, we're in each other's face.
You know, for all of you out there
who have relationships
and you love your relationships,
you know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about right now.
There's times we look at each other,
there's still love there,
but it's like I don't necessarily want to talk
to you right
now do you ever get scared like do you ever get scared when you're when you're angry and i'm
asking you the listener as well even though you can't answer only these three can do you ever get
scared like i fucking am so pissed at this person right now i don't fucking see how we're ever gonna make it the long haul no
i don't i threaten that shit though i i threaten that shit like you do all the time oh hell yeah
man what do you say like like i'll be like well if you think that way then i don't see how we're
gonna make it the long haul oh exactly what you said that feels pretty manipulative absolutely it's the way to get it's the way to get what you want
absolutely i'll admit to that and you know how about you right when i do that right when i i'm
sorry i cut you off and then you can get to dinner but right when i do that i can i sense my wife
notice oh he's that hurt that he's gonna throw out he doesn't think we should be together anymore
and what does she say to that does she like well then go then
motherfucker sometimes and then
and then sometimes and then I'll be like
fine I'll go and I'll go up
to the bedroom and I'll sit
in the bed and then she'll come
up in there and she'll be like and then she'll sit
on the bed and that's all I've ever wanted
that's all I wanted in the first place was us to be in the
bed together and so now we're sitting and we're talking in the bed and she's you know what
i mean and she's and she's you know telling me how much she loves me and i'm telling her how much i
love her but now we're communicating even more and listening even more so you just need to blow
off some steam and then you so it sounds like you guys at least um even though you of course are human and blow up you you you are able to not go to bed angry and talk it out
no there's times we go to no there's time listen now i'm at the we're at the point now where it's
like look there's there we know what it is that the other person can do to make it so that this is over.
Just don't touch those things.
Everything else, I'm willing to work through and you're willing to work through.
So, you know, if you're angry now, we're going to talk about this tomorrow.
This isn't something that can get buried.
You know what I mean?
And so, because that's bullshit.
Going to bed not angry, you're going to stay up until like
you're going to have a nervous breakdown
you'll be freaking what's the dude's name
Holden Caulfield you'll be that dude man
sometimes you need to time out
and just like why don't we
sleep for 8 hours
and start again
what about you
Daniel
I think we're kind of still figuring out what those boundaries are.
Figuring out what those things we are...
Because you're relatively new.
You're only two years?
Ten months.
But thank you.
I appreciate that.
Oh, sorry.
What's going on with your background, man?
You tool-timing it?
Yeah, it's my workbench.
He always has tools, bro.
It's my workbench.
It's where I build computers.
That's where he builds computers, bro. I've never noticed that workbench he always has tools bro my workbench where i build computers that's where he builds computers bro i've never noticed that workbench oh yeah well i also got a new
camera so it probably you can probably see all that more clearly and also yeah my lunch i
apologize suddenly lunch and whatnot uh everybody's upgrading look at that joelle upgraded she's now
blue she's no longer making our our our group chats green anymore i can text her from my computer
well oh yeah oh yes i didn't know what you're talking about joelle has an apple phone guys
and so our our group chat is finally sacred again and full blue i love it looks gorgeous i don't i
know that some of you are so passionate about your android phones and I really don't give a fuck. All I'm saying is I don't want
the chat to go green, alright?
I don't use my phone
for all the shit you probably do. I like
to take pictures, and I like to send texts,
and I like my texts to go blue.
Alright?
Alright, Tim Apple,
put me in the campaign, Tim Apple.
We should get into the show, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry.
Why don't you count us in, baby girl?
All right, now.
This is for all my listeners out there.
My baby girl.
Yeah, make it like an R&B.
Make it like an R&B style.
Yeah.
Dan will lay down a little R&B style thing underneath.
Go ahead.
Sometimes, you know.
Talk him into it.
Sometimes you're sad.
Sometimes you're happy. Sometimes you're horny. Sometimes you know Sometimes you're sad Sometimes you're happy
Sometimes you're horny
Sometimes you're not
But when it comes to fake doctors
Real friends
You always got a five six seven eight
Stories
About a show we made
About a bunch of doctors and nurses
And a janitor who loved to hate
I said here's the stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
I missed you.
I missed you all.
I missed you guys tremendously, actually.
It's a weird time
and you listeners we missed you so much
fucking amazing reaction to John Doris
he was a hit
was he? oh he was a huge hit
I was screenshotting all of these
responses people wrote to him
and sending them to Bill solely to piss Bill off
because a lot of people were like
that's the best guest you've ever had
and then other people were like seriously that may the best guest you've ever had. And then other people were like, seriously,
that may have been the best show ever.
Who needs Bill anymore?
And they're obviously joking,
but I just sent them all to Bill just to rile him up.
It was amazing.
Love it.
How did Bill take it?
Well, he was like, this is not funny at all.
And it was hilarious.
No, but people really loved it.
And it made, you know, the four of us have been talking,
and we were talking about, you know,
folding in some shows that aren't just an episode.
The person might be related to Scrubs, like John,
or they might be not.
They might be just an interesting person.
So we're going to start folding in some of those shows as well, right?
Right, Adeyashun?
Yeah.
You almost said it right.
Adeo Shun.
Adeo Shun.
Adeo Shun.
What you trying to get into?
Adeo Shun.
You're giving me a complex such that I'm just going to say Shun and not go for the whole
name because now I'm starting to get in my head about it.
It's all good.
Don't trip.
But yeah, so we're going to fold in some of those.
I like that. We should also talk about the onesies. I can, so we're going to fold in some of those. I like that.
We should also talk about the onesies.
I can't believe the onesies sold out in a day.
You know, I told you, when you make them comfy,
there's something about that, man.
Snuggly and cozy is a great thing.
And there's nothing like having your and my face on someone's body.
Yeah.
You know, it's just something.
All over your body.
Whatever your favorite area of your body is, whether it's inner thigh or back of your neck,
you can have me and Donald on it.
From your taint to your throat and everything in between.
From your toes to your taint to your throat and everything in between. From your toes to your taint to your throat.
That'd be a good sales motto for the onesie.
From the root of to the to the.
Covering you with Zach and Donald from the toe to the taint to the throat.
I don't like this.
What's wrong with it?
By the way, it was very fun that they sold out.
The word taint.
From the toe to the throat.
You don't like the word taint?
It's a great word.
Oh, no.
Okay, I guess that's a no.
You probably also hate the word moist.
Everyone hates the word moist.
I also do not like that word.
I don't mind moist.
What about panties?
That doesn't bother me so much.
Panties bothers people?
Yeah, I feel like panties and moist are popular ones that make women cringe.
Sorry, Joelle.
It's okay.
What word makes you guys cringe?
Is there a certain word?
No, there's no word that makes me cringe.
The chalkboard sound.
Yes, I can't fuck with the chalkboard sound.
Do you know the scariest part of Jaws
is when that motherfucker does his nails on the chalkboard?
I just recently rewatched Jaws,
and I was only frightened when the chalkboard thing happened.
I can't do that.
Make my teeth hurt to think about it.
Masterpiece of a movie still, though, man.
Yes, it is.
Still, to this day.
It is a masterpiece.
It is a masterpiece, Mr. Spielberg.
And Donald and I did a charity reading of The Goonies, which was a lot
of fun, speaking of Spielberg.
It was all to benefit the organization
No Kid Hungry, which
you can still donate if you're feeling like you can and you are able.
It's a wonderful cause that is raising money for child hunger in the United States.
I know that we raised $100,000 on the night.
$130,000 the night of.
Oh, my God.
Congratulations.
Let's go.
Well done.
That is over a million meals. Yeah. Wow. For hungry
children in this country. And as we all know, because of the pandemic, there are so many people
anxious about where they're going to get their next meal. And if you have even a buck, even a
spare dollar, you go to nokidhungry.org and you can donate. And so we did
this reading and it was a lot of fun because Donald and I both grew up loving the Goonies.
And there we are, you know, they asked me and Donald and Josh Gad and Kristen Bell
and Jean Smart to read all the roles that weren't, you know, the original cast. And
Carrie Elwes did the narration. And Donald and I were like just kids in a candy store,
I mean,
just watching them read the funniest part of all was for me was watching.
So it's time for Sean Astin and do the monologue where he's in the wishing
well.
And he's like,
it's our time down here,
down here.
It's our time.
And I'm looking over at Donald's zoom window and he's mouthing along all
every single word of the monologue.
Like Donald,
you have that script memorized because I hadn't seen it since for
so long, but I loved it as a child
and I'm looking over. I was more entertained
watching Donald mouth along
every word of the script than watching all of that.
Yeah, you know what was messed up is that
you know what was messed up is that a lot of them
didn't do it like they did it in the movie.
They were trying to have like a new take.
They were like, at 45, I'm going to do a new take of it.
Oh, that cracked me up.
I was like, come on, man.
Do it like the movie.
Because I'm sitting there trying to hit every beat like the movie and everything.
But it was so awesome.
Did I do a good job on my lines with the new movie?
You did a great job.
Do you remember when the father rips up the note?
That was me.
Not now or ever again.
Oh, man.
It was so big.
But Donald,
we were on the rehearsal
and Donald's like,
guys, this was hilarious.
The whole cast.
Donald knows the script
better than the cast.
And Donald's like,
guys, you're actually
missing a line here.
I'm not sure if it was improv
by the actor at the time,
but do you want me to say XYZ? And they were like, oh, yeah, actually missing a line here. I'm not sure if it was improv by the actor at the time, but do you want me to say X, Y, Z?
And they were like, oh, yeah, sure, Donald.
Go ahead and say that.
But they were cool, right?
Corey Feldman.
It was amazing.
Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin.
Josh Brolin.
And they were all –
He, Martha.
It was good to see Martha Plimpton.
Yeah.
Martha Plimpton read it just like
her character did yeah she did yeah she did um Martha Plimpton um was funny because she said
something about how she said at a certain point in the shoot I just stopped competing for the lens
meaning like all those little kids were such hams they were all they all knew they were trying to
get their screen time.
And she's like, at a certain point, I kind of just relaxed and stopped fighting for the lens.
And I thought that was funny.
This many years later, she remembers that.
I forgot about this line.
This is what I was going to say.
I forgot about this line in the movie.
And then she did it.
And she did it exactly like the movie.
Bran, God put that rock there for a purpose,
and I don't think that you should move it.
And then he moves it.
He goes, hello?
And then the bats come out, and she said it just like when she did it in the movie, and it was – I remember thinking,
wow, that was really interesting.
She had a lot of ums in there, and then you look at the script,
and um is at every moment. That was what was really weird. Well had a lot of ums in there. And then you look at the script and um is at every moment.
Like that was what was really weird.
Well, I don't know.
Some of the things that I was like, well, because some of the things that happened in the movie, like when he drops the picture in the closet and then he goes, what are you doing?
After he dropped the picture, all of that shit's in the script.
It was all in the script.
No, I think I know for a fact, you weren't at rehearsal because you were working. What they
did was they made a hybrid production draft because what the movie became was very much
different from the script. I mean, they went off in a lot of different tangents. They cut a bunch
of stuff, the kids improv, of course. So in order to,
to deliver a reading of the Goonies for the audience that knows the script,
they had to adjust the script to reflect the movie.
So a lot of stuff like that got,
got put in.
There's a really funny moment at the end where,
where Key,
the,
the young Asian kid says,
um,
oh,
you wouldn't believe it.
There was an octopus.
And there's never an octopus in the movie
because they had shot a scene with an octopus
and cut it out.
And for some reason,
Dick Donner, the director, left it in.
But you can actually see,
if you're curious,
you can go find all sorts of
wacky Goonies cut scenes,
like the octopus dancing.
I'm glad they cut that part out.
Yeah, it's really weird.
It's so out of the tone of the movie.
Yeah.
All right, should we talk about Scrubs?
We should.
We should totally talk about Scrubs.
Very good episode.
But before we stop,
I just want to shout out Pantera Sarah,
who we've both known since pretty much
we've moved to Los Angeles.
Yeah.
For making it so that we could be a part
of the Goonies read.
So thank you, Sarah.
And also allowing us to be a part of such an awesome charity like No Kid Hungry
because it felt like we were – it was win-win.
We got to act like fools with our childhood heroes,
and we got to raise money for nokidhungry.org.
Let's take a break.
We'll be right back after these fine words.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting.
That's our bodies adapting to our technology.
But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of
dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your
inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose.
I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now.
Michael is known for his performances in both film and television.
His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant,
which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger
in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's
leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance.
In our conversation, Michael really opens up.
You're going to love listening to it.
And I can't wait for you to check it out.
The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest.
It's always the feeling when you're getting ready.
You know, people give up right before they get what they always wanted to get.
People quit.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver,
and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year,
we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and
star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it.
This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road.
Go through it. Deal with it.
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.
He died of a brain tumor.
It's part of what happens when your kid dies.
Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault,
but you'll still feel guilty.
Alt-rock icon Liz Phair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more.
Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Subs. Not only a lot of firsts, but a lot of memes also in this episode.
Yep.
Most famously, the first appearance of the world's most giant doctor.
Yes.
And who knew there was actually a real giant doctor?
Yeah, Chet.
I forgot about Chet.
I remember Chet.
Yeah, you never see his head because he's so tall.
Are you ready with your recap?
Everyone's favorite recap of anything ever.
Do you know that there's a fella on the interwebs who is graphing how close you are to 30 seconds?
I know.
I saw that.
I saw that.
I really like that.
I'm telling you, they should bet in Vegas.
This should be a Vegas thing.
All right.
How close do I get to 30?
All right, are you ready?
Are you ready?
Are you marked?
Get set, go.
JD wants to break up with Danny.
Dr. Cox can't get over how happy he is.
Elliot's bullied for wanting to look good.
And Todd practices sex on a CPR dummy.
Some people love to work and or live in chaos.
And I get it.
Being able to function when the world is loud
and crazy is an attribute not many possess from the jump as you grow older you learn to cope the
crazy thing is we go so hard we become so used to the chaos we then crave it it fuels us we're at
our best when our backs are against the wall the key is balance and i've yet to find it wow that was 37 that's
your sweet spot um very nicely said donald um balance i don't know if we ever find balance
until they shovel us into a hearse do we ever find balance maybe if you're like uh maybe if
you're like a um a yogi or a spiritual religious person who who who can get in touch with their inner peace but
i feel like the rest of our lives we're going to be vacillating between moments of peace and mayhem
but how do you but how do you survive you know how to stress kills you know what i mean but
the only way we survive it seems like is when stress is on our back you know how do you how do how do we how do we make it in this
world how how do i find my peace you know i i'm my best when my kids are loud in my ear when the
when when the rent is due you know when that's just how it is that's when i'm at my best right
so you feel you feel if you got a lot of money in the bank and your kids are being good and everything is like you don't have any worries that you get complacent.
I will find another thing to stress about. I promise you.
Yeah, of course. Everybody does that.
I think it's something that I've been, I don't think, you know what? And my wife is the queen of it, but I think I've inherited it from her.
My wife is the queen of it, but I think I've inherited it from her.
She perceives stress.
You know what I mean?
She's like, yo, she finds a way, but it motivates her to do things.
You know what I mean?
It's what she uses as fuel.
It sounds like it's saying what you do too.
That's what you do.
Yeah, well, I've become accustomed to it.
I like it.
You know what I mean? It really does work.
It works very well.
I remember I used to dread the nervous energy
that I would get.
Now it's like, all right, I can use this.
Use this as fuel, keep it going.
Just go as hard as you can.
It's crazy, anyway.
I think a lot of people listening can relate.
Also in our line of work,
we're all technically freelance for the most part.
And so you're always having to hustle and figure out what your next test move is.
And there's not a lot of security.
You could get a job and move to Jersey City like you did.
Or you could get a job and an awesome job that's life-changing, but then you don't get another job for a while.
And, you know, that's a stressful way to operate yeah and that's and it seems like that's what cox
loves for some reason cox seems to love being unhappy because that's really what we're saying
when you're anxious and you're and you you're you know know, because it all...
Exactly.
And here we go.
I'm sorry, I did it already,
but here's a Star Wars reference.
But it's exactly what Yoda says.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
Maybe limit the amount of jazz lettuce
you have before the show
because if you start forgetting Star Wars quotes...
I smoke so much, dude.
Oh, really?
You're really high right now.
I am so baked. Anyway.
Okay. Well, there
you have it, everyone. We're going to cut all notice. No, we're not.
Yeah, we are. Yeah, we don't have time
to cut things today. We got to air this show tomorrow.
Normally, ladies and gentlemen, we
do these shows a little bit before they air,
but because of all sorts of scheduling
mayhem, we are recording this
today, Monday, and you will hear it
Tuesday morning. So we can be so current. We are recording this today, Monday, and you will hear it Tuesday morning.
So we can be so current. We can be so fresh. I'm nervous. I'm going to be honest with you.
I think it might be some of the weed, but I am nervous. Yes. Well, maybe you should limit
yourself to how much weed you smoke before the show. We have to entertain the world.
You are not my mother. You are not my mom. I'm just saying the world-
And my mom doesn't tell me how much weed I smoke either, so please stop.
Okay.
So the show opens with JD grabbing some wax off of Turk's beautifully waxed dome.
Yeah.
Because he didn't have a chance to put any product in his hair.
That was very funny.
That was very funny.
And then I took a little extra and put it on my lips.
For the lips.
For the – That was so stupid this episode was very silly a lot of silly moments the fact that the fact
i'm going to jump ahead but the fact that kelso's knocked out for that long too yeah
no everyone hates kelso said no one's helping. He's just lying there on the ground. On the ground, knocked out.
You know, with Scrubs episodes, you know, the tone can lean a certain direction depending on the mood everyone was in that week in the writer's room.
This is a particularly silly episode.
Oh, my gosh.
The Mighty Kite.
So the Mighty Kite.
Let's start at the beginning.
Yeah, we might as well.
So this is a really funny mislead.
Yeah.
So J.D.
And I didn't catch this.
I don't remember this.
But J.D. is trying to say, hey.
He says, hey, you a doctor.
This episode has a theme about doctors, female doctors, whether or not they take the time to make themselves look all dolled up or not.
Elliot does.
Some of the other doctors don't.
And J.D. turns to two that don't and says,
hey, so-and-so, is it windy out?
And she looks at him like, you know, fuck you.
What are you talking about?
And then he attempts to cover.
And the writers sell this like J.D.'s trying to cover.
Oh, no, just because I want to know
if my kite team is practicing today.
The mighty kites, like I'm making it up.
Right, but the thing is the young doctor comes in so disheveled also
that she looks like she was in a windstorm.
Right, but it's a very funny mislead for later
because then we learn that no, JD wasn't bullshitting.
He is, in fact, very into his kite club.
That consists of only he and Turk. no they're missing practice there's people outside flying kites is
that what it is I thought I thought they were just kites oh my god we're missing dude look how
stoned you are we go dude we go dude we go we're missing practice right and then we go, we're missing practice. Right.
And then we go, Mighty Kites!
Right, then we do the kite thing, yeah.
So this is the first appearance that JD and Turk are in a... Now, it's funny that the kite club practices in the parking lot of the hospital.
It just doesn't feel like the best place.
It must be other doctors.
It just has to be other doctors.
Or they don't have to be doctors.
They could be members of the janitorial staff.
We just know they probably work at the hospital.
It's a hospital kite flying club.
This episode, we upset Sarah.
This is the grease the face episode.
This is grease the face episode, yeah.
Now, it's interesting because it really is fact mirroring fiction with what the story was about. The story, as I said, was about,
and I'm assuming they took this from actual
doctors because it seems
like a real thing. Some female
doctors put time in to
try and look, you know,
makeuped up and hair done and others
don't. And Elliot is wrestling with the fact
that she wants to look good. We see that she gets up
at five in the morning and puts on makeup and
does her hair.
And Kelso's had enough of it.
He says, the other doctors are gossiping about you.
I don't want this.
You're not supposed to look like this as a doctor.
Cut it out.
Well, so the gag is that Sarah's then supposed to come to the classroom
looking the polar opposite from all makeuped up.
She's supposed to look bad enough so that todd can say hey elliot is it greasy
outside and sarah kept coming back looking still stunning she wasn't doing the joke that was you
need to look shitty sarah i know it's network tv and you don't want to look shitty but you've got
the joke doesn't work if you don't come in looking like shit right it's the funniest thing man the the the makeup that's you know
supposed to make you look like you don't have makeup on right so donald and i donald and i
were trying to be funny and um we were like come on grease your face and then we got that whole
if you remember it's a a classroom of all the principals.
And we got everyone chanting, grease the face.
Grease the face.
Grease the face.
Now, this many years later, it's not surprising
that Sarah didn't find that funny.
No, she broke.
She started crying when we did that, actually.
Yeah, we had to apologize.
We had to apologize.
Guys.
Yeah, come on, man. It was like midnight. It was midnight. actually yeah we had to we had to apologize we had to apologize yeah well this was this
yeah come on man it was like midnight it was midnight listen in our defense we thought she
was laughing with us she was not and we it was very late and we were all very silly and we thought
we we totally thought she was laughing with us we learned that she was not and we promptly apologized
right away we felt i felt horrible about it but that shit but that shit's still funny to this day she was laughing with us. We learned that she was not, and we promptly apologized. Right away. I felt
horrible about it. Of course you did.
But that shit's still funny to this day.
And I hope she can
laugh about it now. She will. When she comes on,
she'll laugh about it now.
But 20 years later, I remember,
Grease the face!
And Rob was like, chanting with his arm in the air.
Hey, Elliot.
Is it greasy out?
That's fine.
Great line.
And then what's up, Doc?
It's happening, Turk.
Yep, it's happening.
What's up, Doc?
A lot of fucking big moments in this episode.
A lot of really big moments.
All right, let's go back to it in some form of order.
So uncomfortable when someone... Oh, I wanted to say that. You know, there's a back to it in some form of order. So uncomfortable when someone...
Oh, I wanted to say that, you know,
there's a couple of moments where, like,
in the script where they're cutting to people
who are supposed to look unattractive.
And I always find that so awkward as an actor
when you're doing a scene and it's like,
all right, these are the two people
that have been brought in as the cutaway to unattractive.
I think they're getting
paid and i think they're fine with it i know i know but but i always feel i'll tell you i'll
tell you the truth when i'm when i'm directing and that's the case i'll say i always say because
i feel weird about it we need need to mess you up so the joke
works. We need to dress you slovenly
and fuck up your hair and
quote unquote grease the face and make you
look as unattractive as possible for
the thing to work.
Which is true, but also
I want to say it because I feel
I mean, I haven't done this.
That's your own shit. They know
why they're there. They know why they're there.
They know what they're there to do.
They read the script when they got the job.
They knew exactly what it was.
So to do all of that is just like saying, you got the job, but now I'm going to insult you and say, you're not ugly enough.
Oh, really?
So you think that they're like, you trying to say I'm not ugly enough?
No, I think they're saying, you don't have to be so nice to me i know why i got the job don't rub the shit in let's just shoot the motherfucking thing so i can go home and cash this check and smoke that weed all right all right
well you taught me something i will no longer tell them they need to grease the face um why is
why is danny walking around our apartment in a bra it makes no sense i mean
it's a little bit risque no but maybe she's so comfortable around turk and we're both doctors
but i mean dude if i was living with you and casey and casey was walking around in her bra
you've seen casey in her bra and underwear you see i know but i'm saying let's say i was your
roommate casey probably wouldn't walk around the house in a bra.
I just thought it was funny that Tara Reid is walking around in her sexy bra,
and my roommate's just like, okay, woo!
We're making fun of Married With Children.
Isn't it funny, the sitcom convention, that when people kiss, they go, ooh!
That was only on Married With Children, though, wasn't it? No, it was a lot of sitcoms where they go, aww, ooh.
Right, but as shows got old, as shows got hipper,
those went out the window.
I know, when we did the sitcom spoof on Scrubs,
we did all that shit.
We made sure to do that.
I loved Married with Children for keeping that,
because it seemed like the audience was a part of the show, all that we made sure to do that i loved i loved married with children for keeping that because
that it was it seemed like the audience was a part of the show which they are when you're
watching a sitcom when you did your sitcoms because you've done one or two yeah i've done
i've done one okay when you when when did you did the audience do ooze and oz yeah but then we you
know i'm working with wayne and kristin and them and they're like we don't
want to we don't want the oohs and ahs we just want the laughs the oohs and ahs are are you know
so the audience would do it and they'd cut it out and they'd be like no no no no i think there's
something about it there's something about a there's something about a lot i think when an
audience they're so conditioned like pavlov's dogs and they get into a sitcom stage and a couple kisses
and they don't even know they're doing it they're just like oh and it's always that obnoxious right
that that scooby-doo there's something about being in a sitcom audience if you've never been
that first of all they crank the ac so it's cold and you're like all fucking high on just like the energy of excitement.
And they have a comedian come out who warms you up
and gets you all laughing at the stupidest shit
because they want you in a very silly mood.
And you just start laughing at things
that you would never likely laugh at
if you saw the sitcom on at home.
But in the audience, they're all hyped up.
You're just cracking up at everything.
Right, Dom?
Yeah, absolutely.
But the person that's in the audience is always great and if you're on the show you watch the
same shtick every week but the new audience comes in and they've never seen it and it's really funny
to watch because it's like watching a stand-up just work their act and work their act and work
their act and you see act and work their act.
And you see the same thing.
And sometimes it kills and sometimes it doesn't.
And as an actor doing your scenes and everything, it's always sometimes it's really a cool break to look out into the audience and see another show going on while you're working on your craft.
So the whole sitcom thing is a great experience.
You're right, Zach.
It is.
If you haven't been and America opens up again, please.
It is fun.
I got to say, even though sitcoms aren't – there's not that many left anymore,
if you were in – if you do come as a tourist to visit Hollywood,
it is a fun experience to have just because it probably won't be around forever.
And it's a pretty fun experience, I think.
And you don't have to stay the whole time.
That was the great thing about the Zoom thing.
They were talking about it like it was theater.
I can't wait for theater to come back.
I'm missing that now.
Like, that's going to be great.
That's magical just to feel the energy.
I mean, I do worry about all those people
in one room but for it to be back i can't wait well 2022 okay 2022 we'll go see a play um no
well jd said on our show that he would he's not going to feel comfortable being in a theater
until 2022 he was speaking about a movie theater but i think we can assume it goes for theater as
well so i'm gonna go by what Real JD says.
So 2025.
Now, very funny when I imagine that I'm a ghost and I land and I go,
wait, oh, I touch you and I go to reach for your bugles.
Right.
And then my ghost hand goes through your groin
and you go, quote.
Your ghost hands is cold.
Your ghost hands is cold.
Now, this is a classic scrubbers moment with turk with the bugles on his fingers doing witch hands right into the lens for some weird
reason i mean why are you breaking the fourth wall looking right into the barrel this is what
was asked of me and so it was done it's only a handful of moments directly into the lens breaking
the fourth wall and turk looks right at the audience and
does a scary witch. Yeah, straight up.
Straight up. That was a... I remember
that and I've since had my son
do that and he... Whenever
bugles are in the house, he
will put them on the tips of his fingers. I don't think I've had
a bugle in my presence since
this joke. Really?
Why, kids still love bugles?
They're around every now and then.
You'll find some.
If you live in another country,
you know what they are from watching Scrubs,
but it is a Dorito-like thing shaped like a Bugle.
Daniel, Joel, are you consumers of Bugles?
In my weed-addled states, most certainly.
Otherwise, not so much.
Weed-addled.
But yeah, bugles are good.
I stick them on the fingers, you know.
Daniel got on a dope shirt.
You have no idea what that shirt is, do you?
It's so easy?
It's so easy.
I know what it is.
Wait, don't say anything.
Wait, hold on.
Do you know what it's from?
No?
Are you asking me? Look it up. No, I know you know what it's from. It's so easy to fall in Wait, don't say anything. Wait, hold on. Do you know what it's from? No? Are you asking me?
Look it up.
No, I know you know what it's from.
It's so easy to fall in love, isn't that?
No, it's a De La Soul song.
There you go.
It's so easy.
It's so easy.
It's so, it's dope.
I fell in love with this fish you got caught in my mesh.
Hey, yo, she burned my scene up like David Koresh.
I guess a dominate, nothing but a rock with a name.
Anyway.
All right, we're going to go to break.
Before we go to break, I want to tell you a few trivia things from Scrubs Wiki.
As we said, this is the first appearance of World's Most Giant Doctor.
Yes.
According to the DVD commentary, the Elliot subplot of this episode was spawned from the behind-the-scenes detail that it was time-consuming to always have Sarah Chalk so heavily made up and groomed in every scene.
And we also learned that Laverne has worked at Sacred Heart for 23 years.
That is the trivia for My Clean Life.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
Trivia for my clean mind.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
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There's no turning back for me.
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Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, my name's Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with
Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both
film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise
and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther,
one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors,
earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance.
In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it,
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get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions.
I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast,
Minnie Questions.
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions,
including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is
a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian,
writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's
death. He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually,
you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.
Alt rock icon, Liz fair.
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
So everything comes out of a dead end.
And many, many more.
Join me on season three of many questions on the I heart radio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
Seven questions.
Limitless answers.
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
And we're back.
And we're back.
Yo, dude, the janitor and Elliot in this episode is hilarious, dude.
It's his first time calling her blonde doctor, I think, right?
Or no, second time or no oh i think he
i think he called her that before uh but um just just the fact that you know he cheers her up and
picks her up and gives her a ride actually on his uh mop janitor and his cart yeah to the morgue
yeah um yeah he's i think he's jumping with. I think he's in love with her. And jumping with her.
He's definitely in love with her.
He's definitely in love with her. But I think that
spawned from us thinking that
Neil was in love with
Sarah. Do you think
Neil was in love with Sarah? I don't know.
I don't think he was. But I thought,
I don't know. Shoot. I don't know where
it came from, to be honest with you. But it's such a
great storyline between the two of them.
How much the janitor is obviously in love with her.
And she so freaking needs an ally at the hospital.
It just so happens to be the most diabolical person in the hospital.
But not to her. He loves her.
And Kelso, it's funny. It was a funny shot, by the way, when Kelso is looking at Sarah and telling her not to her he loves her and kelso it's funny it was a funny shot by
the way when kelso um is looking at sarah and telling her not to wear makeup and you see the
bangs in front of the lens that was right yeah chris kotch director good good judge and um
and then we learned that kelso's son this is one of the another thing you know we're always
learning about kelso's son we learned that he wears makeup and shaves his, quote, fun zone.
Also,
Tyra Banks
and, was it Heidi Klum?
Yes. A whole elaborate
plan for those two and JD
and Turk.
Where Tyra Banks
runs over Turk's mom
in a car.
Turk doesn't care necessarily about his mom because he's so happy to be with
Tyra Banks.
Carla then asks, well, what about your mom?
And Turk says, JD, you tell her.
And then JD proceeds to tell her
that what they're gonna do is
well first of all
my mom doesn't die
Turk's mom doesn't die
what they do is
they take her brain
and they put it into Heidi Klum's body
and she falls in love with JD
and they live happily ever after.
And at first it's kind of weird because it's my mom.
Right.
But in the end,
I learned to live with it.
Yeah.
Bizarre.
Dude.
I was like,
I'm so happy.
I smoked weed to watch this.
This episode was so surreal.
This is great.
Like I'm telling you, this is like, you know,
you'll find episodes of Scrubs that are not this stoner, weird, bizarre.
Like, but this is one of the ones that has a lot of very silly things.
Really silly stuff.
And that classroom, it made me want, I remember we were shooting this.
We were doing this thing with the class and Cox was teaching a class.
I thought that was so funny.
I wish we had done more of that dynamic.
It reminds me of the office,
the show The Office,
when they would have the meetings in the room.
There's always so hysterical.
And those scenes
where we're all talking over each other
and bouncing back and forth with the dialogue,
I thought was really funny
and wish we had done it more.
Yeah, shout out Johnny Castle.
Shout out.
Johnny Castle was hilarious, who plays Doug.
And first of all, I find it funny that Cox is teaching them something about a defibrillator.
Like, I'm pretty sure these guys know how to use a defibrillator at this point.
I didn't understand what the class.
He was like teaching them how to defibrillate a mannequin.
Like, I think that's been covered in med school i don't you know i don't you try to take cpr every year like you forget it don't you
like not if you're a doctor doing it right that's i guess that's true i don't know i just thought
that was i don't know i i would imagine a cardiologist is i don't know i don't shit i
don't know we learned that danny Danny trimmed Rowdy's anus hairs.
Does Danny
have a job? Does she have a job?
I don't know.
But JD and Danny are perfect for each
other. She's just sitting at home
dressing up Rowdy and trimming his
anus hairs.
A dead dog.
Did they ever say what her job is?
Not that I remember.
They didn't.
But I also believe that as much as he's in love,
this is what she was also saying.
She's perfect for him.
If you listen to what she does, she told people,
hey, bring toilet paper if you come over.
All of the things that JD needs in, she's almost She told people, hey, bring toilet paper if you come over. All of the things that JD needs
in... She's almost
exactly like him, and he
can't see it because he's so in love
with Elliot. He's in love with Elliot. He's blind
to it. By the way, how funny is another
super stoner silly thing?
When I mention my scarf collection, and then
I look at her scarf, and I go, ooh.
Ooh.
Oh, because I left my cell phone phone on and that's how she heard
and i got that's how she heard that's how turk heard about my scarf collection oh
oh that's a gif my stupid silly celebratory dance and then going back to the and then turning sad
and then celebrating he really was so not in there so not into her. He just liked sex with her, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He had no feelings for her.
Which is crazy because she seemed like she was great.
Yeah, the character seemed like a good match.
But as you said, love trumps all.
Yeah, over everything.
It's hard to say that word.
All right, let's bring in the guest.
Let's get in the guest.
Yeah. Okay. We have a guest for you everybody very exciting here at fake doctors real friends i'm
very excited as well really are you do you know something i don't know oh
roy bellamy special day at fake Doctors. Real friends, everybody.
Welcome to the show. Beautiful people.
Beautiful people.
Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it.
It's so nice to meet you.
Welcome to the show.
It's Roy Bellamy.
There you go, Roy.
I appreciate that.
Roy, you got your very official Donald Faison Oprah intro,
which is the greatest honor we bestow upon our guests.
Time of my life.
Thank you, Donald.
I really appreciate you doing that for me, man.
Roy, thank you so much for being a fan.
Not only are you a big fan,
but you are always so kind
and blowing us up on Twitter
and telling all your followers about us.
So we really appreciate it.
We appreciate your love.
Well, I got to tell you,
it's very, very much an honor
to be with two men who I've spent a long time
watching on
the television and in the movies.
And it's also a real,
real pleasure to spend some time with two people who are in my industry,
who knows exactly what's going on right now.
How do you know?
How do you know?
Yeah.
Oh,
Twitter,
Twitter.
It's the best Twitter. It's the best Twitter Twitter. Oh, yeah. Twitter. It's the best.
Twitter.
It's the best.
Twitter friends.
You're Twitter friends.
Yep.
Well, Daniel and Joel are coming, like, you know, are gaining Twitter, you know, celebrity status.
Their followers are climbing.
You got to follow them all on Twitter.
Follow Daniel Goodman and Joel Monique and Roy Bellamy on Twitter.
Definitely follow Roy.
Because they are good tweeters and people really like them.
Although, Joelle, you said something quite controversial that I don't know that I agree with.
Okay, let's get into it.
Here we go.
Well, far be it from me.
I don't know that I...
This is how you know it's a bullshit statement because he started with,
far be it from me. Well, no, I disagree. I like the new Fincher movie and I don't think that I... This is how you know it's a bullshit statement because he started with, far be it from me.
Well, no, I disagree.
I like the new Fincher movie
and I don't think Joelle did.
Oh, I thought it was a beautiful movie.
I just didn't think any of the women
were authentic human beings.
I feel like...
Yeah, I can get that.
They were all very much just there to support a guy.
They're all like, oh, he's a genius.
We got to just let him go.
Be drunk and a genius that can't have any emotions about it.
I'm a lady.
This is that new Mank movie?
Yeah, Mank.
Yes.
Well, I encourage people to look at it, even with Joelle's critique.
Definitely watch it.
The black and white is gorgeous.
You hear this about films.
But this is the ultimate case.
You could hit pause at any moment on that movie
and you would put that photograph on your
wall. It is stunning.
Cinematography is so beautiful.
I'm sure the movie's not
for everyone because it's
not a lot happens. It's basically about
an alcoholic writer's struggle to write
Citizen Kane. But I thought the
acting was great and I thought it was beautifully shot.
Amanda Seyfried did what she needed to do.
She was good.
Super talented.
I wanted Venture to cast me one day.
What did Amanda Seyfried do?
She plays, what's the name of the movie star she plays?
I have to look it up.
Okay.
Okay, so wait, what is it that she did
that was so impressive?
She's just a really solid performer.
I feel like Amanda Seyfried is obviously talented.
She's done a lot of great things.
But lately she's been doing a lot of camp stuff,
which she's great at and is a lot of fun.
But she came in this movie, I'm like,
oh, right, this girl is a very serious actress.
Like what she's doing with that character and how she's doing it.
It's hard to remember that because of the singing and dancing that she did recently is what you're trying to say
right you know you see mamma mia and you're like this is great for an entirely different set of
reasons no what she's saying is is the movie reminds you that amanda is very talented and
i i agree i thought she did a wonderful job she plays mar Marion Davies. Yeah, Marion Davies, who was a movie star at the time,
who was married to Hearst?
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, check it out, everybody.
I recommend it.
Roy, you are on a nationally syndicated radio show,
not a podcast.
I was corrected.
Well, there have been some changes to that.
So Dan's contract with ESPN mutually has been kaput.
Like when?
Is this the first?
Is this the first?
Is this an exclusive?
Is this an exclusive?
It's happening on Thursday and all the rags in the media.
So no, it's an exclusive.
It's an exclusive.
It's an exclusive.
Roy, don't ruin our exclusive.
We love our exclusive. I will not ruin it. It is an exclusive. It's an exclusive. Roy, don't ruin our exclusive. We love our exclusive.
I will not ruin it.
It is an exclusive.
This is an exclusive.
From Roy Bellamy.
Go ahead, Roy.
Go ahead, Roy.
Roy, give our listeners the exclusive only on Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
So Dan and ESPN have mutually agreed to put ways.
Our final ESPN show will be January 4th.
And you can catch us from there on out
where you normally would catch us
on podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts
on January 5th.
What's the name of the show, Roy?
It's the Dan Lubbock Todd Show
with Stu Gatz.
Stu Gatz.
Now, I know nothing about sports,
Roy. You probably know from listening to the podcast.
But Bill Lawrence, if there's a Venn diagram of both of our lives, it overlaps with Bill Lawrence, who loves being on your guys' show.
And he says it's a lot like this, except instead of rambling nonsense and occasionally talking about scrubs, you guys talk about sports.
That's right.
And partially why I'm here is I am here to convince Zach to listen to our show.
Okay.
And the reason why I'm here to do that is because Zach is not a sports fan.
And if you are not a sports fan, our show is for you.
Okay.
Because we make fun of sports.
All right.
But aren't you guys going to reference people that I won't know?
They'll be like, oh, my God, Jim Simpson in that dunk last night.
And I will be like, I didn't see the dunk.
Wait, who dunked it?
Jim Simpson.
Big Jim Simpson.
Big Jim.
Big Jim Simpson.
We also do stuff like athletes that can know plants,
like Tree Rollins and Eric Flowers and stuff like that.
Okay.
Yeah, we do stuff like that.
Wait, hold on.
Tree Rollins canodes plants?
Yeah.
Yeah, a tree is a plant.
A tree is a plant.
Oh, I thought you were saying Tree Rollins, like, snipped plants.
He thought you were saying smokes plants.
Donald, focus.
Focus. Roy, before you
got on, Donald revealed to
our listeners that... It wasn't
a big reveal. On most shows,
he's only mildly high, but today
he's decided to be very high.
Very good of you.
You deserve to be high.
You are deserving, sir. You are deserving.
This is also the first time I get to look at Donald's closet.
This is really nice.
Yes.
I don't got shit in it.
It ain't like I got some fly stuff in here.
It's just, you know, my golf shirts.
You got more than I do.
I can use a few golf shirts.
All right, Roy, do you have a question for any of us?
Oh, wow.
That's the one thing I didn't really think of.
I was so excited. of okay i have a question
it could be for daniel or joelle if you want because no one really asked them questions it
doesn't have to be scrubs related i'll be talking oh that's good well daniel and joelle uh as i said
you guys are in my industry and uh i just want to know uh what do you guys aspire to be as you guys grow into your career?
Very good question.
Great question.
Great question.
Podcasting is super new.
And so it's an exciting industry to be in because much like film or radio in their infancy,
you don't know what the heights are.
Like there's people constantly breaking new boundaries and trying new things.
And we're still trying to figure out, you know, what distinguishes this space from radio.
And so I,
I think I just want to be on the cutting edge of,
of that is my goal is like,
as I explore,
like,
what are the limits of this and just testing out new things and trying
different forms of podcasts.
I think that's,
what's exciting.
Um,
you know,
and eventually I wouldn't mind having like a full slate of shows that are
just mine.
Like I handcrafted,
I curated all the talent that's sort of
that's the next step anyway
we're whiteboarding that idea right there
yeah you gotta put that on your whiteboard
you guys put that on your whiteboard
and their long term goal
is to tour all of
Europe and the United States in a bus
with me and Donald
I want to go to New Zealand
I would love to tag on that bus, by the way.
I would love to be on that bus.
Yeah, you can.
The only place in the world, well, we're not allowed in,
but if we were allowed in, the only place we could tour
would be New Zealand.
All right, Daniel, how about you?
Answer the question for Roy.
I feel similarly to Joelle's answer,
but honestly, from a facilitative standpoint,
I want to facilitate strong voices and getting people the space that they deserve on podcasts.
I kind of like the idea of being, I don't want to say like an, well, yeah, kind of like an A&R.
Like, I love people's ideas.
I love people who have strong personalities and strong voices.
And I feel like, you know, I'm, at this point, we're on the inside.
We're on this industry. We're on this industry.
We're in this industry.
So having that outlet for people.
Yeah.
And, you know, being able to help people give their voice to the world is is that's what that's what I want to do.
You guys.
First of all, I just want to say you're you're selling yourself as a little bit short because.
Yeah, because I feel like what you just both said you could achieve and you are achieving and can achieve in a year.
You guys, first of all, for those of you who don't recall in our listening audience, these two people weren't supposed to talk.
Ever.
Joel was our producer.
Ever.
Joel was our producer.
Hold on.
We need to just stress that.
Right.
We need to stress that.
I remember the conversation.
So we got Daniel and Joelle.
Zach, are they ever going to talk?
No, they're never going to talk.
Okay, good.
They're never going to talk.
Flash cut to now.
Dude, thank God you guys spoke.
No, my point is that when we created this thing,
we had no fucking idea what it was going to be.
And Donald and I certainly didn't think this many people would be listening.
And then Joelle and Daniel are such interesting personalities themselves and so great on the podcast that we want more and more.
And the fans love them and they love when they contribute.
And I know when I don't know that answer to that thing that I bet your bottom dollar, Daniel does. And same with Joelle. And Joelle, when you did our
little recap show, you were just so charming and your voice sounded so good. I think you guys
should, you can do both. You should curate and be an A&R type fellow, Daniel. And anyone who
has a great podcast idea should slide into daniel's twitter feed and
hit him up and same thing with joelle but but at the same time you should curate your own
shows where you're on air talent because i think you guys really are talented broadcasters well a
p a very a very brief peek behind the curtain but before everything went under uh Joelle and I were hosting a podcast together. What was it about?
What was the name of it?
Whoa.
It was...
We'll get into a very brief synopsis of it.
Basically, you all know Dana loves the video games.
You know I'm a nerd.
I do the tabletop and the comic books and the movies and the TV.
And along with our friend Rosie Knight, who writes for Nerdist,
the three of us were just talking about nerd news stuff every Friday for like two and a half hours.
And it was incredible because Dan will give us like updates on the sports like teams that are.
I was the eSports corner, eSports.
I was your eSports corner.
It was the weather report for eSports.
What's happening here?
It was amazing because I know nothing about it but it was so huge and he would tell us about these like large cash prizes and
the drama going on between the teams and i imagine much like roy and the people who don't like sports
but enjoy listening to the show it was like oh my god i didn't know there was so much like life and
vitality in this thing that i'm not regularly engaging in and then rosie would come in and
just be like off the cuff and brilliant.
And it was a lot of fun.
So we're hoping now that we have a good flow for COVID and our other shows are good and solid, we can take off again.
Yeah.
You guys should totally do that, man.
Cause there is definitely a, there's definitely a corner for that.
Joel, you know, Zach hit me up and was like, Donna,
why are you procrastinating with the Star Wars podcast?
Yeah. I had an intervention. What did you tell him? I had an intervention. Thank you, Zach hit me up and was like, Donald, why are you procrastinating with the Star Wars podcast? Yeah, I had an intervention, Jo.
What did you tell him?
I had an intervention.
Thank you, Zach.
I didn't realize I was procrastinating.
You are.
You're like, what are you doing?
We're not doing anything.
You happen to – I'm sorry.
I'm going to go off on one little rant.
You happen to be in a position, like very few people are lucky to be in where you can have you can entertain people
from your closet and people love this show we know that and we're so grateful to our listeners
and and our listeners who have the same level of love for star wars that you two are are very
interested in an offshoot because they certainly don't want y'all talking about it on here
so they're very that's not true i just kidding. I know some of them are.
They're very interested in this offshoot, and I just don't know why you wouldn't do it.
Did we lose Roy?
I think his internet may have dropped.
Roy's like, I don't want to be on this show anymore.
Roy's like, fuck this show.
Anyway, I'll leave it to you guys.
I have to say, Dan left ESPN.
We got a new podcast.
Wherever you get your podcasts, I'm out.
They're not talking to me anyway.
Anyway, Donald, if you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it.
I just think.
No, I totally want to do it.
I totally want to do it.
I sent in my stuff.
Joel, just always.
Roy, what are you doing, man?
You don't like us?
That's me, pussy.
Roy, did we bore you?
What's going on here?
It looked like you hung up on us, Roy.
No, I apologize.
It was like you got all the information out
that you needed to get out.
You didn't have a question for us also.
So you got all the information out.
You didn't have a question for us.
And then he was like, I'm done.
I have a question for you guys, actually.
All right, go ahead.
Go ahead.
So if there is a Scrubs table read, much like what Veep has done,
or maybe like something.
Yeah, for charity.
Yeah, for charity or the Georgia runoffs in this situation.
Would you guys get together and do it?
Absolutely.
Bill Lawrence has already brought this to our attention.
I would like to personally do it for No Kid Hungry, but I'm sure that a lot of charities will be brought to the table. But yes, and I suggested to Bill that we do the Wizard of Oz episode because I think that's a really good episode, but I don't know that he'll choose that one.
choose that one. But Donald, you've said yes. Everyone said yes. For charity, everyone instantly said yes. So we just need... Problem is, is that I don't know who's... Someone needs to wrangle it.
I don't know who's going to wrangle it. Donald. I mean, sign me Donald. That's for dang sure.
No, no, no, no.
The only thing Donald's wrangling is nuggets into that bowl.
No, you got to put it in the grinder first. You put it in the grinder first.
Grind it down. You got to put it in the grinder first. You put it in the grinder first. Grind it down.
You got to grind it down.
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Hey, my name's Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose.
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All right, Roy, let's fix your life.
It's time for everybody's favorite segment.
Ready with the cue.
It's time to fix your life.
All right.
This better be a good one, Roy, because we're very good at this.
We've saved a lot of people's lives on the show.
Okay.
I'm already going to say you're welcome.
I think it's fair to say you're welcome.
All right.
So as you guys know uh sometimes uh radio producers career
can be in flux and uh as you uh heard me say earlier uh kind of lost my job at espn uh so
yeah so but i still have a job with the show obviously so what does one do to be able to control one's career future in
said medium that's a great question well that's almost a better question for joelle and daniel
but you're talking about in in like in the podcast broadcasting medium well yeah in radio and
podcasts and television how does it seems to me, it seems to me that you have two friends here who are very, very dialed in at iHeart.
So if I were you, I would make a list of the things and the shows that most would interest you and bring them to Joellen Danil.
And obviously, if you can bring some talent with you that has some name notoriety, that always helps.
I'm sure you've met other people that you can sort of wrangle.
Bill Lawrence is obsessed with you.
You could wrangle Bill, for God's sakes.
But, you know, and come up with a show.
I mean, if I was in your position, I just lost my job.
You obviously have a skill set that is unique,
and not everybody has.
You obviously have an audience, too, already. You obviously have an audience too already.
You obviously have an audience already.
You have a Twitter following already.
I would go, here are five ideas that I think could be dope-ass shows that are unique that
no one's doing.
Here's some talent that I could reach out.
And if they're not co-hosting with me, I guarantee you they'll make regular appearances because
I'm dialed in.
You're dialed in with a lot of people in the sports community, I'm sure.
And then I would go to gatekeepers
like Joelle and Daniel
and be like, hey guys, can you help me
bring this to iHeart because I think it's a good idea.
Joelle can get anyone on iHeart
on the phone in two seconds.
So I would work on
my pitch. Joelle's shaking
her head.
No, yeah.
We can make some calls. We can get some calls going.
We can get some calls going.
The point is,
is they are dialed
and you don't want
to waste your shot though.
You don't want to phone in
and be like,
I don't know,
I thought about this
for 10 minutes here.
No,
I would make up
like a beautiful pitch document
and like have your pitch down
so that when you get on the phone
with a Will Pearson,
who's our iHeart overlord
or whoever it is,
you're like,
all right,
Will.
And you know, it's the classic sales thing where you're like, this is a no-brainer.
They may have you do a pilot where you crush it and kill it, and then you're off to the races.
Joelle, Dan, I'll add something to that, please.
Yeah, do all of those things Zach just said, but then just send email me.
Email, you have my Twitter.
We'll work it out.
We will share.
But also, you you know share beyond
us cover all your bases but yeah i mean it's a it's a thriving industry in uh these covid times
specifically and it sounds like we're gonna be inside for another year so you know spend the
rest of this year getting together and then yeah hit off next year ready to go um i'm just gonna
say you know you have a leg up because you there's a lot of people i'm sure listening who have who might have some really cool podcast ideas
but they don't have the built-in fan base that you already have that they don't have access to
names that people uh that you probably are friendly with you so you have a leg up go ahead
daniel i was just gonna add that you know the nice thing about podcasts is that as a medium they welcome so many
perspectives voices faces personalities to the space that like it doesn't just have to be espn
owns sports podcasts or x brand owns the idea of sports podcasting i think truth be told i think
everything is underrepresented in podcasting the only thing i'm not even gonna go i'm not
make a bad joke but like everything is underrepresented in podcasting. The only thing, I'm not even going to go there. I'm not going to make a bad joke, but like everything is underrepresented in podcasting.
So I highly recommend
you take every opportunity.
I don't think,
I don't think interviewing celebrities
is underrepresented.
I was going to,
I was going to make some sort of joke
that that would,
don't have your podcast
be interviewing celebrities.
Don't call it
What the Fuck with Marc Maron
or something like that.
By the way,
I'm on today,
by the way.
Did you know that?
That's right.
Oh my God. Of all jokes, by the way, I'm on today, by the way. Did you know that? Oh, that's right. Oh my God.
By the way,
of all the zillion podcasts for you to randomly make a reference to,
I'm on.
It's the one you're on today.
I'm on what the fuck with Mark Maron today.
Oh,
that's amazing.
If you're listening to this,
it's Tuesday tomorrow.
So it came out.
So go check that out.
It's actually,
you know,
a lot like Howard Stern,
he kind of gets you to start talking about shit you don't normally talk about.
And we went deep.
We talked about grief and we talked about depression
and we talked about OCD, which I had as a child.
Yeah, he got me talking and I was just, I don't know.
I was just, my lips were flapping.
So I was really, really candid with him.
And he lost his wife, uh partner um and i of
course lost nick and we both had a lot of grief in our life in the last few years and we we went
there we went there together so it's really good um a lot uh like the questioning that dan
lovator does uh during his interview subjects does he yeah he does yeah we call him the grief eater
because he loves to dive in and focus in on your whatever happened in your life that you might have grieved over.
Well, I think that's interesting. Listen, you know, I think there's something about radio that is different.
You know, when you go on a talk show, you've just you're just saying your five rehearsed anecdotes that you've figured out.
Whereas radio is just, you know,
especially the great interviewers like Howard, I think is,
and Mark Maron is, and you're just sitting there,
you just feel like you're talking.
I mean, and I hope we do it a little bit on this show,
although we mostly stay silly, but of course,
sometimes we get serious here.
But, you know, you just feel like you're talking to your friends.
And then all of a sudden an hour and a half has gone by
and you're like, Jesus, I've never told anyone that story,
but I just told Mark Maron.
Well, not only Marc Maron,
but all of his listeners, too.
Yeah, but I mean, I think it's good.
We're talking about grief, and a lot of people can
relate to grief, and we talk about depression, and a lot
of people can relate to depression. I think it's healthy
for people to feel like, hey, I'm not fucking alone.
I'm not alone.
All right, Roy,
you're welcome. You're welcome.
You're welcome, Roy. I'm very much and welcome.
Thank you.
And Roy, tell everyone.
We gave you some jewels that you could sell if you choose.
I'm just saying.
Roy, tell everyone what your Twitter handle is so they can follow you.
You can build your audience right now.
I am at RoyBelly, O-O-Y-B-E-L-L-Y, at RoyBelly.
Incredible Twitter follow.
And follow him.
He's very funny.
And most importantly, he's a big fan of our show.
So that's why we really like him.
But thank you.
Thanks for coming on the show.
Absolutely.
And we're excited to see what you come up with.
Yeah, seriously.
We'll look for some emails.
And please don't have it be about two African-Americans obsessed with Star Wars because that's taken.
Got that covered.
Anytime you guys would have me, I'm available.
Are you a Star Wars geek?
I am, unfortunately, not.
Okay.
You're not right for that podcast.
Well, thank you, Bill.
Bill.
Roy.
That's all we got time for.
You be well.
Oh, man.
Bill.
Bill.
I mean, Roy.
Roy.
That's it.
Dang it. All right, Roy. Thank you so much. Take care, Roy. Thank you Roy, that's it. Dang it.
All right, Roy.
Thank you so much.
Take care, Roy.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you, guys.
Take care.
Have a good one.
Bye.
I think we give good advice, right?
I think so.
I think that's the best advice you could give anybody.
Not too bad.
The poor guy lost his job.
Yeah, but he's in a great position right now.
He's not in one of those positions.
There are a lot of people that are in way worse positions and when they lost their jobs of course uh because
of covid and stuff like that so maybe he got a severance you think he got a you think maybe i
don't know i hope i don't know but his line of work there's still opportunity for him right now
unlike a lot of people well and like i said most importantly for him he's he's he's got some legs up he could make
it happen if he hustles hard absolutely um let's finish the show gerber scott gerber at the end of
the line at the end of the line of women first of all jd went to soccer camp why is jd at soccer
camp although i did go to tennis camp for what it's worth, so maybe he was trying to get into a sport.
I don't know.
I just thought it was hilarious.
Jordan Feldman, by the way,
went to Northwestern with me.
He played Scott Gerber.
So there you go. He showed up and I was like,
Jordan, you're playing my...
Very funny. Very funny scene.
No.
You said you wanted to
I thought you wanted to be better teammates
You didn't
And then I say that he wore my jersey
As a nightgown or something
Yeah as a nightgown
So stupid
Then we reveal at the end That Johnny is not talking to his therapist so stupid oh boy
then we reveal at the end that
Johnny is not talking to his therapist
but he is talking to his baby
yeah
and that'll do it for you
man I mean I'm telling you right now
your life changes and everybody
jokes about this and we all
we all
everyone who has kids knows exactly what i'm talking about
and so when you see something like this as cliche as this it's so it's it's still it still strikes
a nerve you know what i mean i figured it out at some point earlier on that he was talking to his
kid because it it just didn't make sense sense that Cox would let down his guard for anyone
other than his child.
Well, we'd seen him in therapy.
So early, yeah, but even in therapy, he's very combative.
You know what I mean?
And it's just not in his character.
And I was like, either, you know,
especially we talk about this all the time,
not necessarily remembering this episode.
It was like, this would have to be a total shift in tone
for Dr. Cox if this was going to be his character
for the rest of the show.
So I was like, there has to be a hook in there.
Where's the hook? And I was like, there has to be a hook in there. Where's the hook?
And I was like, oh, snap, he's talking to his kid.
Well, I thought it was very funny that he's like,
we saw Dr. Cox experience happiness,
and then he realized he couldn't really do his job effectively happy.
That's great.
Really good.
Really good.
The end song that I had was certainly not a Ryan Adams song.
Rescue Blues is the Ryan Adams song that's in the original.
Whatever I listened to on iTunes, no offense to the replacement artist,
but it was not a jam for me.
Well, you know, speaking of jams, I thought we could go out with the show.
My brother has this wonderful song.
Olamide.
Olamide Faison has this wonderful song about friendship
and the times that we're going through right now
and how we can all use the help of our fellow human beings on this planet.
And so that's the show.
That's the show.
Before you count into a Lameday,
we want to shout out
everyone for listening.
All we love you.
Take care of yourselves.
Be safe.
If you're in one of these hot zones,
which I think is now
pretty much the entire country,
we're not going to convince you
of anything you don't want to do.
But if you do care,
we say as fake doctors,
stay home, stay inside unless you have to go somewhere to do but uh if you do care we say as fake doctors um stay home
stay inside unless you have to go somewhere wear a mask if you do don't just think about yourself
think about everybody else you know there's these stories where people go to a wedding
right and they get infected and bring it home and then kill like their grandparents because
they didn't get sick or they got they were
asymptomatic but they brought that shit home and killed like multiple people so if it if you're
not worried about yourself think about being a carrier and killing somebody else we got to end
on a high note though i just took it i took it dark how do we get how do we get back how do we
get back down we get make a fart noise fart make a make a fart noise we get back? How do we get back, Donald? Make a fart noise. Make a fart noise? Fart noises are always funny.
We get it back like this, ladies and gentlemen,
for your listening ears, for your pleasure,
for your happiness, for your joy.
Can I get a amen?
Can I get a hallelujah?
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
Give it up for my brother from the same mother and father, Olamide Faison.
Five, six, seven, eight. See what I feel inside is killing me
No doctor can prescribe the frame or deed
So I chose to call you up
It's been a while, hope you answer
I hope to feel a little better
From the sound of your hello
And if you can, let's spend some time
Let's grab a meal
over some wine
and we can talk about
the many things that are
heavy on our minds
I just need to think
I don't know where to begin
where this story
ends
for a while
I just need to think.
I'm tired of pretending.
Like this loaded heavy.
Oh, I.
I sit at home and watch the TV.
And I can see the insincerity
Now my eyes tear when I hear the words I can't
It's sad because that's my reality
When a heart needs catching up
Are you the one I can't count on
I hope to feel a little better
From the sound of your hello
And if not now, when will this change?
The world is crying from all the hate
Not sitting back, not doing anything
It's driving me insane
I just need your friend
I don't know where to begin
Or where our story ends I just need your friend. I don't know where to begin.
Or where our story ends.
But oh, I just need your friend.
I'm tired of pretending.
Like it's not a heaven.
Oh, I need you.
Oh, I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you.
I need you.
I need you.
I need you.
I need you.
I need you.
I need you.
I need you. I need you. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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