Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 313: My Porcelain God
Episode Date: December 15, 2020On this week's episode, the Janitor installs a toilet on the roof, while Cox and Carla install a patient in Kelso's office. In the real world, both Flo and Cacee make guest appearances, we give away s...ome kombucha to a first responder, and discuss penis drippage. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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All right.
So I've been playing with my Oculus 2.
Tell us about it.
I want everyone to know this is not an ad.
I wish it was an ad because Oculus 2 should be advertising with us because we genuinely love it so much.
Really?
So this is not an endorse statement, but I got this program called Tilt Brush.
Right, Daniel?
Is that what I said it was?
Mm-hmm.
program called Tilt Brush.
Right, Daniel?
Is that what I said it was?
Mm-hmm.
And you go in, and you're in a 3D room, obviously.
And it makes me want to go and do it in my backyard because the area that I have mapped out in my living room
is not that big.
But all I could think of last night on Jazz Lettuce
was that I should set this up in my backyard because you then, you know,
you make the perimeters of your safe area so big. And then you have on your left hand in the
controller is what looks like a palette. If you turn your wrist, there's different palettes you
can select from. And in your right hand is your brush, your trigger, and you select whatever you
want. It could be paint paint it could be anything from like
lasers to snowflakes to string lights you know for outdoors and you're just drawing and painting
and going crazy and making your thing and you're walking around your painting in 3d yeah and you
could make like loops that you walk through and then you're finished and you can give the goggles to your friend and say come look at what i just made i made you a 3d painting yes it's wonderful it's really awesome
it's so fun i really highly recommend it i yeah i definitely haven't explored enough i got locked
into some games and then it was hard to get into more games uh but i'm definitely gonna check
i really like tilt brushes like an
artistic expression because you could like then i was thinking they should have a game and i'm
maybe someone's developing this where you can like decorate your room right so you you map it's
mapping the room you're in and you're like you know what i want to try that couch there and what
if i put a lamp like that there and I strung the string lights here and
you can like then hand it to your partner and be like,
would you like this room looking like this?
And they'd be like,
that looks great,
but let's make the couch beige or,
you know,
and so that would be,
I'm sure that's in the works,
but that's such a cool idea,
right?
Yeah.
Listen,
fans,
if you already know that something like this exists,
please send it to us.
I'm moving in exactly one month.
I have nothing but blank space.
I have no idea what to do with it.
I'm just on Pinterest all the time trying to figure it out.
Oh, Pinterest is good for that, by the way.
When I did my house, I was on that nonstop.
Because I'm so anal about designing things that I'd be on Pinterest looking at light switch plates.
Yes.
Nice, nice.
What were you going to say, Daniel?
I was going to say there are some games on Steam that you can get
that are like room decorator and house redecorator.
They're not what you want them to be, but they are cool.
But they're more like games.
Can you show me how to get off-market games on my Oculus 2?
Yeah, you just need to...
I don't know how to do that.
That's advanced.
And I also need you to show me how to...
Okay, so this would be cool, although it wouldn't... I don't know if it would work for the painting but i i need you to you you were telling
me on on our text chain that's thank god now blue because joelle probably got an iphone um i mean
now we can really have banter now the banter is going to the next level um i need to know how to
cast it yeah what i want to do is like when when my girlfriend's painting i want to be able to see
her point of view on my tv that would be so fun right you were saying you you it like denied you
last time or something like you opened it on the app and it was just not working or what did it say
i don't know i was just it wasn't like every time i she was in the middle of a very elaborate
painting and every time i was trying to do it she's like what are you doing it stops and i was
i stopped messing with it but i just got to do it tonight and maybe i might i
might i might facetime you and have you talk me through it sure i think it gives you one of those
messages like you have to have the mask on too and then it says oh do you want to cast and then
you click yes that's probably what happened she was so into her painting she wasn't noticing the
message that was like do you want to cast right but that would be cool too because then you can both share and
also, let's say they're
playing some harrowing game where they're climbing.
We haven't started the climb yet, but I think that might be on
tonight's program
because it'd be fun if you're
watching them play the game.
Now, I have a question.
If I have two headsets,
we could both be in the painting
together. No?
No, unfortunately.
Why not?
They don't have that yet.
Dan, why?
I wish they did.
I'm going to mad at you as a computer whiz.
Why?
I wish, but unfortunately, Oculus hasn't developed that extra sense
where they're like, not only can we sense another Oculus nearby,
but we can put them into the same game.
They haven't.
Because when I've gone to do those things you know the vr you know facilities i went to
the star wars one right that was incredible you look over and there's like there's someone next
to you and everything that's so cool yeah there are certain games that are multiplayer where
multiple people can and if you happen to be in the same room you can play the same game at the
same time but i'm pretty sure tilt brush is not one of those games but you don't look like if i'm playing um
what the fuck's i mean i wrote them all down i wrote a bunch down with beat saber beat saber
yeah with my multiplayer beat saber i wish me and me and the lady were trying to do that so we were
really trying to get two-person beat saber going but you can't do that yet all right guys if you're
listening and you're wondering why we're just talking about the Oculus 2, again, not a sponsor.
We just all three genuinely love it.
And we're also waiting for Donald
because he said he's late.
So don't tune out because you're bored
because we're talking about VR
and you're like, where the fuck's Donald?
Well, thankfully for them who were about to turn out
and be like, I'm going to listen to a game or a podcast,
Donald just got here.
Oh, good, good.
But we're gonna
have to talk about oculus 2 and him for a second he's got a hat on today oh fancy wow
dxg oh no there you oh that's golf don't get him started on this oh god okay okay don't bring it up. Don't bring up the hat.
Hello.
Hi.
Why the long face?
You look melancholic.
You okay?
Let me just get my levels right.
Hold up.
I look sad to y'all?
You did for a second. It looked like you didn't know your camera was on and you had sort of a sad face on.
We just want to make sure you're okay.
As you're popping pills. What is that i'm sure what that is annie no man i don't do shit
okay we were talking about before you got on because we were stalling about the oculus 2
have you messed with much other than
the star wars games and now i'm gonna tell you something right now that galaxy's edge game
it got me a little nauseous man and it got me nauseous because of uh the free move i guess
teleporting is probably the best way to do a lot of these games but i thought maybe free move would
be easier if you could slow the free mood
down a little bit it's just that you're zipping through everything and you get nauseous real quick
yeah well anyway will you please try and your kids and even casey will love this it's called
tilt brush and you paint in 3d all around your room with with like a zillion different types of things it's not just like a paintbrush it's like
a laser and then it's like diamonds and then you can like throw snow in the air and it's just all
of a sudden snowing in one spot it's so fun that's really cool very cool that's really cool so you
like the oculus quest 2 now yeah i just did a whole like stalling four minutes on oculus quest 2
i told you man it's the gift you, man, it's the gift.
I'm telling you, it's the gift of the holidays.
People are going crazy for the PlayStation 5 and all of that stuff.
You can't find that anywhere, but you still can find the Oculus Quest 2.
I don't know if it's still available.
I'm telling you, if you can't get your kid,
if you're going to spend that kind of money
and you can't get your kid the PS4.
I don't know that the Oculus Quest 2 is for kids, though.
That's the only thing.
It's a certain age.
I think you have to be like over 12 or something like that.
Well, you do have to be careful.
You have to set the parameters of where you're walking,
and it warns you when you're getting close to something
because otherwise you will sprint into the wall.
Yeah, but what's really cool is if you have a really big space,
like let's say you have a backyard that is connected to Wi-Fi.
Yeah.
You can literally make your field the size of your backyard and run around in your backyard.
It's great.
That's what I said.
I want to do this with painting because I was confined to an was defined. It's probably six feet by eight feet.
But if I could be outside painting, I want to know.
It just sounds so cool.
Running free with my brushes.
Right.
Just run right into a tree.
Bang.
It's so cool.
And then here's what's so dope.
You can then – if you squeeze both triggers and you take this with the controllers,
whatever you just made expands and gets huge.
And you can like put it up above you and look at it.
Wow.
It's so trippy.
It's so trippy.
Anyway,
that's enough on VR.
Donald,
how are you,
my friend?
I'm well,
I am.
I am.
Well,
I have just taken my alpha male.
Is that the right thing?
Alpha male or is it alpha brain?
You're the one who takes it.
I don't know.
What does that help you with?
What does that mean?
That's the Joe Rogan pill.
What does that mean to help you with?
It's meant to help you with your focusing and your mental wit.
Acuity?
Acuity, sure.
Does it help you notice it at all?
Sometimes I do.
Sometimes I'm like wow i totally
just pulled that out of my ass and then sometimes i'm like i really wish i would have taken the
alpha brain i should have taken the alpha how are things going over your house it's christmas season
are you are you retail therapying like everybody else's there's just so much stress over here
why building and building and building and building and it's going to come to a pimple head being like everybody else's? There's just so much stress over here. Why? Because everybody wants everybody.
It's building and building and building, and it's going to come to a pimple head, and it's
going to pop all of the freaking ooze.
It's just going to smother my family.
It's going to be wonderfully gross.
Building what?
What are you building?
Decor.
No, I don't mean build.
I mean, the stress is building over here.
Oh, got it.
The stress.
I mean, the stress is building over here.
Oh, got it.
The stress.
You know, my wife is one who, you know, she's a very loving person and she's a giver and she's, you know, 100% loyal and, you know, on your side and on my side, regardless of
who you're against.
But she stresses about everything.
And so the Christmas season is coming
and she wants it to be perfect.
And I understand that.
And I want to support her in that.
And we're in the midst of it.
Yeah, so it's stressful
because I find it sometimes stressful
and I don't have all the kids
you have to buy presents for.
So you got to make sure all the kids are happy.
You got to make sure the wife is happy.
The decorations are all done.
The food.
There's all this pressure.
There's so much pressure.
Not just that.
Also, you know, I've thrown out kids being happy.
I don't think that's going to happen.
I know exactly how kids and gifts go.
They get the gift.
You think they're going to be unappreciative?
It's not that I don't think they're going to be unappreciative.
I think that all kids are like this.
They open one, except for that one kid who was so excited about his gifts that he got.
Remember the avocado?
An avocado.
Thanks.
Did you ever see that?
No.
I mean, there's a couple of these videos, but the one I saw was a little kid whose parents, just to fuck with him, wrapped an avocado and thinking he'd cry or something.
And he was like, an avocado. thinking he'd cry or something and he was like an avocado thanks it's so sweet right there are a few kids out there who are very
appreciative when it comes to uh their gifts and stuff like that but for the most part when kids
get gifts you could just looking at them they open it especially if they have a pile if they have
like four or five gifts and it's the first gift and it's not what they wanted they they open it especially if they have a pile if they have like four or five gifts
and it's the first gift and it's not what they wanted they'll open it look at it toss it open
it look at it toss it i think that would really bum me out what do you do until they get the gift
that they want like i remember so they're just looking for the big gift they're looking for the
one that they that they asked santa for um and sometimes that's not possible. You know what I mean?
One, it's like, all right, well, we have to figure out something in this household because the kids have, it's not that they have everything they want.
It's just that they, you know, they have a lot of toys and, you know, we donate their
toys and stuff like that as they grow out of them and stuff.
But, you know, it's difficult to buy for a kid who you know one changes his mind
on what he likes you know within within weeks so where he's into one thing one week he's into
something the next week he's a growing boy it's really it's difficult man you know i it used to
be power rangers and then it was uh then it was teen titans Then it was Powerpuff Girls. And then it was Wild Kratts.
And then, you know, it just goes all over the place.
And it's like, well, what do I buy?
But then his-
What about his Santa list?
Doesn't he make a big ass Santa list?
You don't want to know what's on his Santa list.
It's probably like such expensive shit.
Is it all like the most expensive shit in the world?
Yeah, and I look at it i'm like oh that ain't
happening santa you disappointing the kids this year man are your kids what is he trying to get
um so he loves zelda and but he already plays the zelda video game so that's on the weekend he gets a half an hour on the weekend to play the Zelda video game
if he's good during the week
he stretches it
every weekend somehow gets
an hour to two hours
on the weekend
a half an hour is nothing in Zelda
30 minutes?
once per weekend?
you want to limit the screen time
he sometimes figures out a way to squeeze it all into,
like, he'll find a way to get two hours of, he'll find.
I'm used to this shit now.
This is what's starting to piss me off.
All right, let's get off the game.
All right, I just need five more minutes, Dad.
I got to beat the Fireblight Ganon,
and then after I beat Fireblight Ganon,
I will be right there. You got to beat Fireblight Ganon, and then after I beat Fireblight Ganon, I will be right there.
You've got to beat Fireblight Ganon.
So familiar.
I love that both Daniel and Joelle are like, well, you let him beat Fireblight Ganon, right?
I mean, he has to beat Fireblight Ganon.
But he's going to be so hard.
I want to strangle Fireblight Ganon.
I want to take Fireblight Ganon.
Fuck Fireblight Ganon.
Are you doing the elf on a shelf? I remember you've had luck with elf on a shelf in years past. Fireblight Gannett. I want to take Fireblight Gannett. Fuck Fireblight Gannett.
Are you doing the elf on a shelf?
I remember you've had luck with elf on a shelf in years past.
Yeah, they're in quarantine, so my wife figured out a way to get the elves here.
I got to whisper because I don't want these little fuckers to hear this stuff.
So my wife, my wife.
We can't hear you, bro.
You can hear me.
You can hear me.
The audience can't even hear you.
What are you doing? You can't hear me, bro. You can hear me. You can hear me. The audience can't even hear you. What are you doing?
You can't hear me right now?
Are you?
Barely.
Oh, I know why.
You're going away from the Zoom mic, but towards your real mic. He's whispering into the microphone.
Yeah, that's fine.
Okay, let me just do this real quick.
Okay, listen.
So my wife, you know, the elves came, but Corona's happening.
And the kids were like, yo, so how do we deal with, you know,
God or the elves get here of Corona?
I don't want to get Corona from the elves.
And we were like, all right.
So my wife took old spaghetti sauce jars, like the big ones,
and put stuff to elves.
She put the elves. They can't to elves. She put the elves.
They can't hear me.
You have headphones on.
They can't hear us.
You have headphones on.
They can't hear us.
She put the elves in spaghetti jars because the kids were afraid that they were going to get corona from the elves.
They didn't want to get corona from the elves.
So she put them in spaghetti jars, like rinsed out spaghetti jars with fake masks and Lysol.
She printed out Lysol, you know, like things.
That's so cute.
And put them in the jar.
So the elves are holding Lysol canisters and have masks on in the jar.
And they're on like the 12th day of quarantine in the jars.
That's so funny.
They'll come out of the jars.
Oh, they'll come out once they do their successful quarantine.
Yes.
That's good mommying.
By the way,
it's really good mommying,
but also it makes me think,
like Casey was like,
if you think I'm not getting my month
with these fucking elves on the shelf.
That's exactly why she did it too.
She's like,
I'll fucking wrap their asses in cellophane.
We're going to figure this out.
We're going to figure this out. That would have been the best if the elves would just work. So they work, but that shit works if they're like, the elf on the shelf's like, I'll fucking wrap their asses in cellophane. We're going to figure this out. We're going to figure this out.
That would have been the best if the elf would just work.
So they work.
That shit works if they're like, elf on the shelf's watching.
What the fuck are you doing?
Real quick, they stop.
Whatever it is that they're doing, they stop real quick.
I wish I could try that.
And that's why it's going to be disappointing when Santa don't deliver them presents that they're asking for.
Well, you might have to say, you know what?
That one time, I did all I could.
I talked to Santa.
I negotiated.
But you really fucked up that one day.
That's on you. That's on you.
That's on you.
I did what I could, but that's why you didn't get that one present.
All right.
Should we fucking talk about scrubs and sing a song?
We should totally talk about the show.
All right, count them in.
All right, everybody, we missed you.
Five, six, seven, eight.
I said he's got stories
about a show we made
about a bunch of docs and nurses
and a janitor who loved to hate.
I said he's got stories
that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our
gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Donald, all right.
Well, listen, I wanted to just say hi to everybody.
This is a crazy time.
And I Googled what are the most common names in the world?
Because I figured we could bang out a lot of people feeling like we said hello to them if we said hello to like the top 10.
What are the common names in the world?
Most common names.
This is probably just for the United States.
Okay, guys?
So don't.
Yeah, it is.
It's USA.
So we're sorry, Vikram.
Vikram, we apologize.
Muhammad and Vikram and Mr. Patel, probably not on here.
But James, Mary, John, Patricia, Robert, Jennifer, Michael, Linda, William, Elizabeth, David, Barbara, Richard, Susan, Joseph, Jessica, Thomas, Sarah, Charles, Karen, Christopher, and Nancy, Daniel, and Lisa.
Hello.
Hi.
Hey, guys.
Oh, not me.
Aloha.
Oh, not me.
Aloha.
And to Malik, Malcolm, Fuquan, Teresa, Tariq, Anthony, Chanel, Bentley, Shondrell.
Names go on.
Kareem.
Kareem.
Who else?
Who am I forgetting?
Tamika. Tameka.
Shaniqua.
I'm trying to think of kids from my high school.
Angela.
Kama'u.
Kama'u.
To all the people of the world, if your name's, if your name, look, your name could be Pip or Till or Tick or Tuck or Sick or Slick.
Or Tuck.
Or Tuck.
Or just.
Well, I don't know if anybody's the sound of that.
There might be someone with that name.
You don't know.
You don't know.
There's nobody with the song.
You don't know.
There might have been someone who saw Ferris Bueller's Day Off
and fell in love with it and said,
we're naming our kid Chika Chika.
It's a pain in the ass when you got to call them
and they're being bad at the playground.
You're like, yo, yo, yo, Chika Chika.
Stop it.
That's a tough one, right?
Because how do you make Chika Chika sound?
How do you yell Chika Chika when they're in trouble?
God damn it!
I am so fucking upset with you!
Anyway, hi everybody.
Great episode.
It is one of the
classics. You have Michael J. Fox,
you got a roof toilet.
There's lots of jokes that are really memorable that people love.
Directed by Adam Bernstein, who we always remind you directed our pilot.
But also written by Tim Hobart and Eric Weinberg.
Yes, a nice duo.
When did they ever do that?
Well, you know, at this point in the season, they would often team two people up and say, listen, you guys do this one together.
But there's so much good stuff in this episode.
And that's our second Michael J. Fox episode.
We continued to fail you by not getting him.
But maybe one day. You know, my hope is that if we keep working him like I'm working Ryan Reynolds still, that we'll do a special episode with Michael J. Fox and we'll do a special episode with Ryan Reynolds.
I just hope they do it before their star fades.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I'm really worried about Ryan Reynolds.
His star fades, man.
Ever since he bought his own cellular company, maybe he's just going to quit acting.
Fizzle. He's uh so on fire that guy huh
my goodness is ryan reynolds on fire right now i i just don't i mean he's like the rock in a level
that like it's not just the movie stardom it's like now he's just like buying companies like
buying gin buying well that's what happens when you sell gin for that much money
all of a sudden a lot of
a lot of hockey oh he bought a soccer team
didn't he buy a soccer team
a lot of new opportunities open up
when all of a sudden you're rich you know what I mean
I know but he's like he's getting next
level rich that guy that's what I'm talking
about when you reach that next level
rich and all of a sudden you're like wait hold up
how much is it yeah I think I'm gonna buy it there's some people that are next level rich
that was stuff that has nothing to do with their acting like i think julie louise dreyfus maybe
had like preposterous family money even before she even worked a day and then i think i heard that ed
ed um what's his name ed nortonorton had like, was it Uber?
I think it was Uber.
Had like silly amounts of Uber stock, maybe?
I don't know.
Good for them.
I mean, there's people who,
there's people like any human being
who made a bet
and was like,
I'm going to try out some of this Uber stock.
Actually, I'm going to buy a lot of it.
I believe in it.
And all of a sudden they're like,
oh, hey.
Right.
We got that yacht money.
Oh, you want a helicopter on
the yacht? By the way, there's a helicopter
that lands on the...
The helicopter lands on the
hospital in this. I don't think that was
really happened. I mean, on our hospital. That must have been
another roof. Oh, I don't know.
I don't know. And I thought it was odd that
Michael J. Fox was the
ENT.
That was a fantasy.
I know, but I thought it was odd that he was the ENT,
and that's how she came to her revelation.
An EMT.
That's what I said.
I said EMT.
I found it odd that Michael J. Fox was an EMT.
That was clever, though.
Clever fantasy.
Clever fantasy, but it was odd that that's who.
And she's taking a poo or pee.
Oh, also, ill Elliot doesn't wipe twice.
Yeah, and what about those red lacy panties she's wearing, though?
That's fine, but she doesn't wipe twice.
I wasn't thinking about that.
I was thinking about that the character Elliot was rocking some very sexy panties.
My wife right away was like, she's not going to wipe.
Oh, really? Yes, immediately. I was like, ew, away was like, she's not going to wipe. Oh, really?
Yes, immediately. I was like, ew, what's
happening? You ain't going to wipe.
I didn't
think about the wiping.
Wiping is
important, apparently.
You don't wipe your ass?
You don't wipe your ass?
You don't wipe your ass?
I'm talking about peeing.
I've made it 45 years without wiping my ass.
The fuck are you talking about?
Your ass would be burning on fire if you did that.
You would have just raw asshole.
Do you ever wipe your dick after you pee?
Yeah, of course.
Just for dribbles?
Yeah, I don't want to drip into my...
What if I'm wearing nice pants?
Is that an age thing?
Because I don't think a 19-year-old is wiping his pee hole.
Is it just like you get to a certain age,
and no matter how much shaking, you're going to have dribbles?
Howard Stern did a whole hilarious bit about how he wraps up his penis
after he pees and has to leave the toilet paper in his underwear
at this point in his age.
Yeah, dude, because sometimes it's like,
you ever walk away from the toilet and then you're like, I thought I was done.
I thought I was done.
Yeah.
I got into this underwear brand for a while, and the whole thing was it wicks away moisture.
And I was like, okay, I'll try this underwear.
It feels nice on my junk.
And it was wicking away the moisture, right?
Every time I shake, shake, shake penis back in underwear, it would wick that moisture down my leg.
And I was doing Alex Inc. at the time.
And every time I'd come back from the bathroom to shoot, I'd have a P mark on my pants.
And they'd be like, what are you doing?
And I'd be like, it's this underwear.
It's wicking away the moisture right to my pants.
Right to my pants.
Anyway. Should we get into the recap?
Yeah, please. Sorry.
Lots of tantrums today, Donald.
Okay, let me get my stopwatch
out, you sexy motherfucker.
I've been listening to a lot
of Elvis' Christmas album. I highly
recommend it. Elvis?
Elvis' Christmas album?
Yes, Elvis Presley. we listen to christmas music
non-stop in our household and um because we really like it you guys are big you guys are
big elvis presley fans over there um i love elvis but i don't usually put on elvis um at any other
time other than christmas because i really like his Christmas album. You ever hear Public Enemy's
version of Elvis?
No.
It was in Fight the Power song. You've never heard that?
No.
Elvis was a hero to most.
I said, Elvis was a hero
to most. I said, Elvis
was a hero to most,
but he never meant shit to me
because he's straight up racist.
Simple and plain,
mother fuck him and John Wayne.
You never heard that song before?
Fight the Power?
No, but it does put a little bit
of a damper on my Christmas album.
I'm sorry.
Well, that's what you buy.
Well, there you go.
Public Enemy.
There you go.
You can either put on the Public Enemy song or Elvis Christmas.
Fight the power.
You have a fork in the road tonight as you play music for your children.
There's two different.
Well, one's not for the children.
One's for the soul.
All right.
You ready?
On your marks. Mother for the soul. On your marks, motherfucking
set, go.
The hospital is filled to capacity,
but Dr. Cox has an idea.
Turk asked JD to be his
best man, but after he asked
his brother. Elliot's in
over her head, but Michael J.
Fox is there to help. Also,
the janitor's secret's out.
There's a toilet on the roof.
It's so easy to get caught up in your own stuff, even when it's someone else's moment.
Being able to recognize this is difficult, but only because of selfish reasons.
The moral of the story is, don't be a selfish prick.
Nobody likes a selfish prick.
Yes, preach.
34 seconds.
Don't be a selfish prick. Yes. Preach. 34 seconds. Don't be a selfish prick.
Be kind.
Not only be kind, but recognize when it's not your time and it's somebody else's time.
Yes.
Support your fellow man, Donald, and woman.
Support those who have supported you before.
And you know what?
During this crazy time, there might be someone in your life whose day you could make right now.
Not right now, because you're listening to the best podcast in the world.
Or you'd make my day by continuing to listen to the podcast.
Yes, but you could make someone's day right now by, when you're done with this, calling them and telling them how much you miss them and love them.
done with this, calling them and telling them how much you miss them and love them.
Or you can
make someone's day right now
talking to you, my wife.
She's not listening.
When the podcast is over.
Right. What do you want to have happen?
We rap, we say goodnight, we love everybody.
We say okay, we love you guys.
She grabs my hand
and says I need to talk to you upstairs in the bedroom.
Okay.
And I say, but the kids are up.
And she says, don't you worry about the kids.
They're playing Zelda.
Don't you worry about those fuckers.
They're fighting that monster we talked about.
If you be tender, I won't holler.
Right.
You know, something like that, right?
Now just lay it down.
Lay that eel on the bed and let's both look at it.
And then we get into the bedroom.
Right.
Cuddle and take a nap.
I can't wait for that.
Let me tell you something right now.
That's what's going to happen.
I'm going to manifest it for you.
I'm going to put it on my whiteboard right now.
I'm putting it on my whiteboard.
You don't even want sex.
You just want a nap.
I want to cuddle my wife and take a nap.
That's nice.
Just like an hour to two hours.
That would be so great.
Okay. What happens if she starts to get something going? You're like, no, I want a nap. That's nice. Just like an hour to two hours. That would be so great. Okay.
What happens if she starts to get something going?
You're like, no, I want a nap.
No, then we could, we could, we could,
listen, man, we got two hours.
I don't need, I don't need all of that.
I don't need all of that.
So you could have like five minutes of sex
and an hour 55 nap.
Sure, if that's what she wants.
Or we could do the right thing.
What?
And do a good 20 to 30 minutes of sex.
Those kids are going to be fighting that Zelda monster all day.
Oh my gosh.
Knock at the door. Mom? Dad?
Yo, don't you got to fight Calamity
Ganon or something? Yeah. What's the
name of the monster? There's Fire
Blight Ganon. Yeah, Fire Blight Ganon.
Go get him. Go get him right now. He's
back. He's back.
And how'd your sister help you?
Tell your sister
to get the Master Shield
and the Master Sword, and then
y'all go up against the goblins and the
moblins and you can fight
the Fire Blights. The Bokoblins.
And go crank some music too, real loud.
Real loud. Do me a favor.
Put on that
kid's bop. Old Town Road.
Old Town Road. Crank Old Town
Road while you're playing.
I'm gonna take my horse
to the old town. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha All right.
Well, I think we're all – I think if the audience – if everyone in the audience manifests this for Donald.
No, I don't want them to manifest that for me.
Yeah, why not?
They can take a millisecond and manifest that for you.
No, no, no.
Donald wants a nap.
If you want to manifest something, you know what I want to manifest.
A golf simulator?
I don't want to ask our fans for that.
I don't want the golf simulator. What? I'd rather our fans manifest a nap cuddles did you see how many
star wars shows are coming out oh you want to be in one of them yes okay i think the fans know that
let's talk about the roof toilet oh first of all so michael j fox is back he's got bad ocd he's
touching everything he's going bing bing bing bing bink bink bink I told you in the last episode I had this as a affliction as a child I'm very grateful I grew
out of it but I was definitely could relate to that feeling like you had to you had to I mean
if you if you've never had it you'd be like what the fuck is going on but it's it's just this belief
that that you're gonna have bad luck or something horrible is going to happen unless you touch all these certain things.
Very, very, very, very challenging.
Well, he confides in the janitor.
He tells the janitor about his OCD.
And the janitor's like, oh, I know what OCD is.
It's when you take a sack of nickels and you take a bunch of nickels and you put them in a sock and you'd run around and you beat the kid, beat us kids with it.
Right.
That's OCD.
Right.
That's what my mom used to do to us.
That's OCD.
Right.
That's what the janitor's mom told them what OCD was.
Mom, why did you beat us so bad with those nickels in the sock?
It's my OCD, baby.
Sorry, baby.
It's my OCD.
So the roof toilet inspires epiphanies.
The janitor has installed a toilet on the roof.
He thought it was just for himself.
No one would know about it.
But he tells Michael J. Fox's character, and he tells everyone.
Word gets out.
Well, no.
J.D. tells everyone.
Sorry.
It's J.D.'s loud mouth that tells everyone god this
episode has a lot of so first of all it was another supersized episode and i read on scrubs wiki that
which meant it was i believe 26 minutes without commercials which made it like
i don't know how long it worked out to 40 or so 35 or 40 um when it when it aired um but then when
they put into syndication they they had to cut that time out because syndication ain't trying to fuck with
supersized episodes.
So the scene they decided to cut out,
I learned on Scrubs Wiki,
is the one where Sarah fails at intubating the patient.
So the whole episode kind of makes no sense because the episode's basis was
she failed at intubating a patient and then got in her head. You gotta watch this on
Hulu, man, because on Hulu
I saw it. No, no, I've
been watching it on iTunes stupidly because
I could be watching it on Hulu for free and you
guys should be watching it. By the way, I don't know if we've mentioned
on the podcast, it's not only in the United States,
again, other countries, I don't know.
You can Google it, I'm sure. But in
the USA, it's now on Amazon
Prime Video for free. Hulu for free.
I mean, not Hulu.
You pay for it.
Or you can watch it with commercials probably on Hulu.
Yeah.
I'm the idiot who somehow just decided to buy it on iTunes.
And I bought it on iTunes thinking that I would have the original music.
No.
Which is false.
But I did have the supersized version.
I'm just telling you, back when syndication was a thing, which is kind of barely a thing anymore because people have streaming.
They would run them in rotation and they would cut out the extra – they had to cut out the extra time.
And they chose to cut out – someone in some edit room chose to cut out the scene that the whole episode hinges on.
Right.
So all of a sudden Sarah's in her head about being bad at intubating patients for no reason.
Just a little tribute for you.
Double prizer.
Not only double prizer,
using that toilet
would be my effort.
Double prizer
freaking had me
go,
dude,
why did we fucking turn
into the Wonder Twins, man?
What made us decide
to turn into
Wonder Twins, though?
Well, because I don't know if that was in the script or you and I made that up.
Because for those of you who are too young to remember,
the legend, what was that cartoon called with the Super Friends?
Was it Super Friends? Super Friends. Sorry. So there was a Wonder Twins.
Now, I've never watched this since I was a child. I should probably go on YouTube and watch it. But I loved
Super Friends.
Meanwhile, at the Halls of Justice.
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice.
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice.
And this was a DC thing?
Was it DC Comics?
Yes, DC Comics, yes.
It was all the DC characters, and they all hung out together at the Hall of Justice.
And there were two twins that never have gotten their own movie.
And, Donald, I really feel it should be us.
But they were the Wonder Twins.
Well, yeah, but okay.
Now, they had the power.
They're the lamest superheroes in the world, man.
The lamest superheroes in the world.
You can look this up on YouTube if you're curious.
Wonder Twins.
And their power was that they would touch decoder rings, right?
No, they weren't decoder rings.
They were aliens from another planet.
But they had.
Oh, I didn't know their backstory. Yeah. They were aliens from another planet. Oh, I didn't know their backstory.
Yeah, they were aliens from another planet,
and their rings would activate their powers.
Now, on their planet, they obviously had ice and other earthly objects
because they only turned into things of the earth.
It wasn't like a form of a Noctur-
And then like a giant freaking ice freaking- Noctur- and then like a giant freaking ice
freaking
Noctur-
shows up and wreaks havoc
on everything, you know what I mean?
Right, but here's my question
didn't one of the twins
was sort of locked into only
water-based creations?
Right, and the other one could be animals
Oh, he was just animals Right, one was water-based creations? Right, and the other one could be animals. Oh, he was just animals.
Right, one was water-based things,
and one was animals.
So that's why this very elaborate
thinker of a joke came out,
form of an ice menorah,
because the person,
that character could only make ice things.
No, water things, water things.
Water things.
Now, I don't know why I chose to have the thing he made
be an ice menorah, but it came out of my mouth
and I think it was funny.
Form of an ice menorah.
And that's what they would do. One would go form of
a bubblegum. An eagle.
And the other would go shape of an ice menorah.
Yeah.
If you're too young to know, you've got
to go Google this because it was part of our childhood.
Lame as superheroes ever. I really like them. And you know, there's a lot go Google this because it was part of our childhood. Lamest superheroes ever.
I really like them.
And, you know, there's a lot of talk about everyone.
I don't follow comics at all.
So every time someone gets excited about a new character and they're like, oh, my God, so-and-so is going to be Squirrel Girl.
And I'm like, I don't know who the fuck Squirrel Girl is.
He's amazing.
Squirrel Girl is one of the DC characters that you don't know about, like you just don't know about.
Like Wonder Twins.
Well, you know, people would know more about Wonder Twins
because they've shown up in other things.
But Squirrel Girl, like even when they did Justice League Unlimited
and stuff like that, there's like maybe an episode of Squirrel Girl in it.
And it's like an alternate universe type shit.
You know what I mean?
Who's playing Squirrel Girl?
Hasn't it been announced?
Oh, I don't know.
But it's very interesting.
Like there are a bunch of characters in the DC universe. I heard that somebody was playing Squirrel Girl? Hasn't it been announced? I don't know. There are a bunch of characters
in the DC universe.
I heard somebody was playing Squirrel Girl.
There are a bunch of characters in the DC universe
where you're like, what the heck kind of character is that?
Suicide Squad's going to have a bunch
of those type of characters in it.
Squirrel Girl's one of those characters where you're like,
wait, there's a Squirrel Girl character?
Squirrel Girl's going to be played by
Anna Kendrick apparently.
Is that rumored or official?
Oh.
Okay, update, update. There was
rumored that she was going to do it.
Even I knew that.
But Hollywood Reporter says, and I'm going to say your name
right, Milana Weintraub
from This Is Us
is going to play
Squirrel Girl. No way. Oh, that totally.
She'd be great.
I don't know what she looks like.
I don't know her.
She's the girl from the AT&T commercials.
The 5G girl.
Oh, she's...
Oh, she's great.
You know the girl, I'll say.
What did you say the name was?
Milana Vayntrub.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know her.
She auditioned for Alex Inc., I think.
She wrote on Robot Chicken the last couple of seasons also.
She's really talented.
If it's who I think it is.
Can you send me a link to her picture?
Yes, I can.
Yeah, it's the AT&T girl.
She's awesome.
Very funny.
Is she the one where she's talking to the inanimate objects in her?
Yes.
Oh, that girl.
Yes. Let me look. Sorry, audience. we'll cut some of this out yes she's adorable and funny yeah very funny she she's great good
i'm happy she's squirrel girl all right all right let's talk about so we get the double priser
now that we can't say fruit loops obviously i laughed when I saw the name of the box, which is supposed to be Fruit Loops, but it says Kids Cereal.
That's the label.
But of course, JD and Turk would be eating Kids Cereal.
Is it K-I-D-Z or K-I-D-S, though?
It's just kind of the same font as Fruit Loops, but it says Kids Cereal.
That's what you have to do, ladies and gentlemen, because you don't have the rights to Fruit Loops.
So you make it look like it.
But then you look at the words and what it really says is kids cereal.
Gurney surfing.
That stuntman took a very nice fall.
Very nice.
Did very well with it.
I think that may have been the gent.
And I'm sorry I forgot his name.
But, you know, because some of the different guys rotated in.
But I think that may have been the gent who did the bungee jumping and got
married and then divorced,
but I could be wrong.
Um,
but he took a glorious fall.
So you guys could laugh off that gurney.
You can tell he's padded up though,
obviously.
Cause otherwise he'd break his fucking spine.
He looks diesel.
Well,
I stopped it and went slow because I was like,
that's a real fall.
And I know he,
I know he's padded up.
I mean,
it's still,
it was like,
you know,
getting tackled,
but I'm sure it's still fucking hurt.
But I was like, my butt looks like I had a lot of junk in the trunk.
My stunt butt had a lot of junk in the trunk.
We talk about an overpacked hospital in this episode, which is very on par with what's going on right now.
Yes, sir.
And COVID and stuff like that.
and COVID and stuff like that.
And also has to do with being, you know,
Sacred Heart's prepared to handle all of the, you know,
the onslaught of new patients coming into the hospital.
It's Kelso who's holding it back by not wanting to open up a wing because he wants to save money.
Right.
He closes down a wing to save 60 grand a year or something.
Something like that.
Yeah. And that which makes no sense.
I mean, I guess I guess the hospital's under financial hardship, but that backs up everything up.
And which creates a very funny plot line with Johnny C and Judy putting his gardener in Kelsey's office.
Right. Todd cannot spell neither his own name
nor the word surgeon.
No.
He cannot.
That was pretty funny.
Yeah, well, Todd, just knowing
that Todd can't spell, but he's an
excellent surgeon is
par for the course,
isn't it?
I know, but I mean, they really –
Surgeons only focus on one thing.
Cutting.
Cutting.
Now, amongst the – one of the funniest things in this episode
and maybe in season three is us testing out our tuxedos.
Dropping it like it's hot.
I remember that day. I remember that day i remember that day and we had
we had no choreography and we made the choreography up on the spot on the spot right then and there
but we it was funny is that we decided to jump off of the stage yes to the i guess the audience
it would be where now you guys you listeners you you listeners some of whom were named earlier in
the program um you might think god they must have rehearsed that dance number for weeks, if not months.
But no, Donald, I made that up on the spot.
That's right.
And it's pretty hilarious, especially when I go, I can feel it burning.
Can you feel it?
I can feel it.
It burns.
I can feel it burning.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
We were in a very silly mood that day.
We were very silly that day.
And then we cut to JD's dream best man outfit.
And it's got a lot of rings.
It's all blinged out.
We learn later it costs $4,000.
When Turk says, why does your best man tuxedo cost $4,000?
That was funny.
We should go back and talk about J.D. wants to have a threesome with Turk and Carla.
Yeah, I think he's down.
I mean, we don't have to touch or anything, but he could participate.
Wait, is that how it would work?
Oh, sorry, sorry.
My brain went to you and Casey and I, I'm back.
I would,
I would just,
I would,
I would give,
I mean,
we can ignore each other,
but we can just share.
And then I'd have to watch you and my wife just go.
No,
I mean,
I would stay within whatever boundaries were set.
Maybe I just stroke her hair. I'm going to join you for this epic nap after the show.
The audience has manifested a nap for all three of us.
Have you ever had a relationship where the girl was like,
we can threesome quite a bit i'm open to it
meaning meaning as a condition of the relationship like she's saying hey if i'm down to be committed
but we need to have threesomes every now and then if if yeah every now and then no i haven't had
that have you had it sounds like you have you're very no i haven't i haven't but i've seen it a
lot on a lot of these programs that I've been watching lately.
Are they porno movies?
What?
Are they on the streaming service Pornhub?
Yes, it's a great stream.
Have you heard of this app?
Yes.
It's like Disney Plus, but with more areolas.
Yes, a lot more areolas.
I don't know if you should say Disney and Pornhub.
I feel like we should segue back to the Scrubs TV show.
Elliot, okay, tuxedo testing.
Kelso, back with the two thumbs.
This was the joke that Bill had mentioned.
Two thumbs and doesn't give a crap.
Bob Kelso.
I thought we met.
Yeah.
Bill liked that joke.
Bill liked that joke enough to recycle it just a few episodes later.
But not only that,
but also I love that Hector's in Kelso's room
and then we cut to Nurse Robert
and they're talking about going to the bathroom
and she's like,
I usually go in Kelso's room,
but I didn't want to wake Hector.
Yeah.
Hilarious.
Hilarious.
Everyone.
It's a problem.
You know,
I,
I don't really like,
I go home.
I hate pooing.
You know what I hate?
I think we've talked about this,
but I can't poo in a public place where someone else is pooing in this
another stall.
If I'm in the stall and there's just a one inch piece of metal.
And on the other side,
I hear,
you're done. I'm like the stall and there's just a one-inch piece of metal, and on the other side I hear, You're done.
I'm like, I can't, I'm not going to be able to do anything here.
I can't work here.
I can't work here.
We have gone to the, I've told the story, we have gone to the movies, been on our way
to the movie theater to see the shit that would just come out.
The thing that was the thing that everybody wanted to see.
Turned around and went home because I had to poo.
And she was like, you can't just do it at the movie theater?
No.
So you're more strict than me.
Why don't you put the paper thing down, the little circular thing?
There have been times where I have done that.
There have been times where I have done that.
But for the most part, in my experience,
when you go out and about,
there's a few people that care about the way the bathroom is but for the most part everybody's blind and can't shit into a toilet to save their
lives because for some reason no matter where you go the bathroom the stall has the piss on the
walls well i'm not i don't the – I obviously want a clean bathroom,
but my problem is more like I can't be sitting next to someone.
Like I always imagine if that one-inch piece of metal divider is gone,
we're just sitting there like pooing next to each other.
So I walk in.
So you don't want to smell.
I don't want to do anything with anyone.
I walk in.
I look under and see if there's any shoes.
If there's any shoes, I'm out.
You know, it's funny.
Donald and I just did a thing for E!
It was like a silly, funny little reunion thing.
And we did it with, that's going to be coming out.
And they ask, you know, all right, what does Zach or Donald need on set?
I don't have anything in my rider.
I'm the most low-maintenance person in the world.
Maybe if you have a sugar-free Red Bull for after lunch, give me a little extra energy.
The only thing I want is my own place to poop or pee. So in the show, when we get there,
this was COVID and everything's all COVIDed out. Everyone's in PPE. Everyone's staying
10 feet from each other. And we look and there's two porta potties and one says Zach on it and one
says Donald on it. And we each had our own porta-potties.
That was our only perk.
That was our only perk.
Only problem is they were right next to each other and connected by a thin-ass wall.
Right, but we didn't go at the same time.
But here's the funny thing.
Here's the funny thing.
So then they go.
So then they go.
This is hilarious, actually.
I hope they put this in the show because it was funny.
So then they go, okay, we're going to go to the next location,
and we're going to film you and Donald.
They put GoPros in the car.
You and Donald, we're going to film you driving to the next location
because it'll be funny, you guys bantering.
And so we're driving, but they bring the porta-potties
because they're on the back of a truck.
So we realize that we're just following our own porta-potties.
We're driving down the road behind two porta-potties. We're driving down the road
behind two port-a-potties
that say Zach and Donald on them.
Yeah. Anyway.
Good times. Good times.
You know, Madonna. Imagine
Madonna's rider. All the stuff she needs
for backstage. All I need is a
sugar-free Red Bull and a place to poop.
Snoop Dogg. We introduced a lot of our key extras in this episode.
First line.
First line for Manly.
Some of them are just mentioned, but Snoop Dogg in turn.
We should have Manly Henry on, bro.
I think that would be great.
That's a good idea.
Manly Henry is a fan of the podcast.
Manly Henry plays Snoop Dogg in turn.
Yeah.
Yes, he plays Snoop Dogg in turn.
He also is in other shows shows you can see him in the
background on a lot of shows he'll he'll he's one to tell you what shows he's working on you could
see him on this is us you could see him on he was on i think the not the black list but code black
or something like that but he's always he's always hustling always working yeah he was a very nice guy great guy he was one of our extras
on the show who then became so famous for being in the background that they just started giving
him lines and stuff and he well yeah and that's his first line when he says where my hoes at
and i go i haven't seen them um that was such a random joke like that was such a like out of
nowhere joke it's's funny, though.
It is funny, but it was like, oh, just Snoop Dogg in turn.
And we needed to figure out a way to make everybody realize that he looked like Snoop Dogg.
And the only way we could do it was to be like, where my hoes at?
Like, Snoop Dogg, Snoop, you, Snoop, congratulations.
You are the ultimate pimp because the only way we could describe you on the show was to make it seem like the intern, the one intern that reminds us of you has a bunch of hoes.
Where my hoes at?
Right.
But my nerdy response, I haven't seen them.
Right.
It makes it even funnier.
All right.
We should do a commercial break.
And when we come back, we have a very exciting guest.
We don't know anything about them.
So John, Lisa, Carl, Fuquan, Mohamed, we'll be right back.
If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools,
LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories
in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season,
teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers.
Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many
of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw
in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that
cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer,
because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest,
I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you
all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to it right now.
Michael is known for his performances in both film and television.
His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations.
Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance.
In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it,
and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the
hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get.
People quit.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Bruce Bozzi.
On the last season of Table for Two,
we had some good times at the table enjoying lunch
with some of the best guests you could possibly ask for.
People like George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Scarlett Johansson, and the beautiful Sarah Jessica Parker, to name a few.
Table for Two is a bit different from other interview shows. We sit down at a great restaurant
for a meal, maybe a glass of rosé, and the stories start flowing. It is intimate, revealing,
and often hilarious. We're back for a second season,
and the guests are going to be just as incredible.
We'll be breaking bread with Colin Jost, Michael Mann,
Divine Joy Randolph, just to name a few.
And this time around, we're going even deeper,
and we'll have something new for you each week.
We'll talk about the big breaks, heartbreaks, and of course, food.
So I hope you'll pull up a chair and join us for the
latest season listen and subscribe to table for two on the iheart radio app apple podcast or
wherever you get your podcasts i gotta get out of the house today, dude.
I've got cabin fever.
Do you?
I got out a little bit.
I went and took a COVID test.
Oh.
I thought I had it last week.
I was positive.
I don't know if any of our listeners are as neurotic as I am,
but I wipe my nose and I think I got it,
or I felt a smidge and achy.
I think I got it.
What happened? I thought you had COVID had covid i just i don't know you you can get covid i mean i'm 99
of my time in my house but if you go out even when you're wearing a mask i don't know shit can happen
no doubt why are you going to get a test you know you were just work for work purpose oh you have a
work related one yeah you know i i've uh I've gotten quite a few COVID tests now.
I still get nervous going to the supermarket, dude.
Yeah.
You wear a real N95, though, right?
I wear a cloth mask.
I have a real-
I don't understand that, you guys.
You can get a real N95 mask on the interwebs.
It's the same thing.
It all does the same- It's not the same thing. It's not the same thing
actually at all. If you look at
what
the science says, if two people
are wearing a mask and one is
three layers with cloth, which a lot
of people are wearing, which most people are wearing,
that will stop
just as, that will stop.
Maybe not as well as an N95,
but it will stop i don't understand
these people that are walking around with bandanas around their mouth in the supermarket no it's not
the same thing as an n95 daniel tell them it's not the same but it still does i've looked at dude i'm
the one who's googled like like microscopic comparisons to how much germs get through
i'm the guy does help protect against.
It's better than nothing, but it's not as good.
And if I'm going to the fucking supermarket, why wouldn't I put on the best thing?
When the LA County is on fucking fire.
Well, not everybody can get N95.
They're not like they're preposterously expensive, right?
How much could they be?
It's not like everybody can get them.
Not everybody has access to computers to order these things. You're going to everybody has access to computers all right you're gonna die on this hill i'm not gonna die on this hill there's
no hill to die on here i'm just saying you're acting like it's easy to get an n95 mask it's
not necessarily the easiest well while we go while we bring the guest in can you google
where the cheapest priced n95 available to mankind is in the United States of America?
And where to buy it and where to buy it.
That's the more important thing.
Where do you buy them for $14.95 on Amazon?
There you go.
$14.95 on Amazon for how many?
10.
10 for $14.95.
There you go.
$1.50.
There you go.
They're $1.50 each.
On Amazon. So if you have an Amazon account, go for it.
I'm sure you can get them on Amazon if you're one of those people who fucking hates Amazon.
But all I'm saying is, and this is just me, you might be going, oh, Zach, shut the fuck up.
I've heard it before.
heard it before but i'm just telling you if you're extra cautious wear the cloth bullshit when you go for a jog or you're walking your dog but when you go into a high contact area like a supermarket
put on that n95 we ain't fucking around no more daniel invite this person in gladly please
oh hello
hi everybody you say hi everybody enjoy hi everybody donald stop doing
just so our viewers are caught up we have a a beautiful looking family, a couple and a young girl, I'm guessing is age
how old? Nine.
How old are you? Four.
Oh, that just goes to show
you what I know about children. You were way off.
What would you have guessed? It's hard to
tell on Zoom. I thought I was going to say
five. Okay, well he has kids. I don't
know how old kids are. She could be 37. I don't
know. Our two-year-old is downstairs
with grandma and grandpa
It's very nice to meet you
Where are you calling us from?
Where do we live?
East Meadow
Long Island, New York
Oh
Long Island
Long Island
Strong Island
Strong Island in the house, y'all
Strong Island
We knew there was going to be a comment
About our accents
Well, you don't have to
I always get it
We're both from the Tri-State.
He's from Manhattan.
I'm from Jersey.
And I always get comments about my accent, although it's mostly gone, but on certain words.
I'm sure it's the same thing with you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of hard, I'll tell you.
And I'm sure you have family members that have it very strong, right?
We do.
Yes.
Very much so, yes.
Welcome, guys.
First of all, I always take in the person's room i'm noticing thomas has a star
wars related t-shirt on donald of course of course i love it you had him at hello as a matter of fact
the reason we were able to get on and uh hi everyone isaac yeah hi that's joelle and daniel
joelle i'm nice to see you um. We might have used our daughter's cuteness
to rope Joelle into picking us.
It worked.
I want the audience to know
she is a particularly adorable child,
so that worked.
Go ahead.
So I'm trying to raise her properly,
and from a very young age,
she watched Star Wars,
and I'm proud to say that she is just as obsessed
as Joelle and Donald and everyone else. Right, Daniel? young age she watched Star Wars and I'm proud to say that she's just as obsessed as Joel and
Donald and everyone else right I love it yeah can we ask her a question what's her what is your
favorite of all the star so I'm sorry what's your name sweetheart Amelia Amelia what a beautiful
name do you uh what is your favorite what What did she say? I'm sorry.
Amelia Rose.
Amelia Rose. Beautiful name.
Now, can you tell us what your favorite of all the Star Wars movies is?
Because our friends here are very big Star Wars fans and they might,
they might disagree or agree with you. You know how that goes.
Which one's your favorite movie?
The Mandalorian.
Oh, okay.
He had me at hello.
There you go. What the mandalorian say
this is the way this is the way oh my god and we who's that little green guy i forgot his name
wait amelia who is your favorite character in the star wars universe
why Wait, wait, wait. Amelia, who is your favorite character in the Star Wars universe? Princess Leia.
Why?
The badass.
You teach your kids like I teach mine, I see.
It's like Donald raised your kids.
We're in so much trouble with our parents.
That is so cute.
Nia, I mean, I like the Mandalorian too, Amelia.
I agree.
I find it very entertaining. It's good. I like Baby Yodaorian too, Amelia. I agree. I find it very entertaining.
It's good.
I like Baby Yoda
as the name more so than
Goo Goo. Guru?
Grogu.
Grogu.
Is it Doo Doo?
No, Grogu.
Put some respect on Grogu's
name now.
You put some respect on Grogu's name.
Okay.
Amelia, my producer, who's very fancy,
told me that you also sing a little bit.
Can you sing?
I heard there's a certain musical you like to sing.
Hamilton.
Oh, great.
Can you sing a little bit of Hamilton?
Donald likes Hamilton.
I'll start.
Ready?
Is that the movie where they rap?
Yes. That's the movie where they rap. Ready? It's a play. It's a play thus far,. Donald likes Hamilton. I'll start. Ready? Is that the movie where they rap? Yes.
That's the movie
where they rap.
Ready?
To play.
To play thus far, Donald.
Go ahead.
What time is it?
Showtime.
Wait, what are the names
of the Schuyler sisters?
I forget them.
And Jota,
Eliza,
and Peggy.
And Peggy.
Can you sing?
What time is it?
Showtime.
Keep going.
Showtime. Showtime. Showtime. what time is it showtime showtime showtime
showtime
showtime
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showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime showtime The point is, the point is you're raising your kid.
Like we approve over here at fake doctors, real friends.
This is, this is if, if, if Zach and I were raising.
Right.
Oh my God.
I mean, you had Donald, the Mandalorian, you had me and Hamilton.
I really, I really love it.
I have to chew a cocoa melon
can you say goodbye
goodbye
bye
bye
nice to meet you
bye Amelia
nice to meet you
I'm not throwing away my shot
I'm not throwing away my shot
oh man
I need a kid
I need a kid
that I can
I really do
Donald this is why I want a kid so I can make them
wrap Hamilton
I know I'm going to mold them
Donald does a lot of that
Donald's kids are as we've said
obsessed with Star Wars obsessed with video games
he's just building little mini me's
well her name is Amelia Rose
after two of Doctor Who's
companions
any of you are Whovians?
I'm not a Whovian.
I've never watched any Who.
What's the entry point? I don't go all the way back, right?
You don't have to go back. You just go to nine.
You never skip nine.
Yeah, you can start with when they brought
the show back in 2005. That's usually
the starting point for most people.
I would recommend it. I'd like to give it a shot.
The way I do it is, this is a great way
to keep my kids in bed.
I'm going to tell you right now.
My son
wakes up at like 5 o'clock in the morning,
6 o'clock in the morning every day
after I put them down at 7.
He gets a good 11 hours
and then wakes up and
comes into our room and wakes us up.
I now said, listen, I'm going to Star Wars the kids out.
If they wake me up early, when we go downstairs until 7 o'clock,
only thing that's on television is Star Wars.
Is it working?
I've slept till 630
now
a couple of times I've slept to 715
so it does work
but my kids
Zach is being facetious when he says
my kids love Star Wars
I'm raising them and they're obsessed with Star Wars
they're not obsessed with Star Wars
they probably hate Star Wars
I thought Rocco was into Star Wars.
You've gotten them both into golf.
You're not doing mini-me's? No.
I'm forcing this on them.
And they're enjoying
the fact that they're spending time with Dad.
But I don't think that my kids love
Star Wars. I'm pretty sure of it.
Because all I said was, if you come down
here at 5 o'clock in the morning tomorrow,
we're watching The Mandalorian until 7. thinking he'd be down at 4.30.
No.
He came down at 6.30.
He probably went down and was fighting the Zelda monster.
No, he came downstairs and he was like, do I have to watch The Mandalorian?
I was like, yeah, man, it's so good.
If my kids don't like musicals, I'm going to be really sad.
I might have to return them.
If you've been following the news,
you know that from health care access to safe schools,
LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone
and tell their stories in their own words.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could
feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as
they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from
yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast,
Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers.
Probably also know me from my stage four cancer
diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a
podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you,
to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer.
Because I think that there's something so much bigger than me.
And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is.
And maybe together, we'll find it.
It's going to be a wild ride.
So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be
Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with
Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television.
His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station,
playing Oscar Grant,
which earned him widespread praise
and numerous award nominations.
His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther,
one of my favorites,
further solidified his status
as one of Hollywood's leading actors,
earning him widespread acclaim
for his complex and compelling performance Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex
and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love
listening to it. And I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is
always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. You know, people give up
right before they get what they always wanted to get, people quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, I'm Bruce Bozzi.
On the last season of Table for Two,
we had some good times at the table,
enjoying lunch with some of the best guests
you could possibly ask for.
People like George Clooney, Julia Roberts,
Scarlett Johansson, and the beautiful Sarah Jessica Parker, to name a few.
Table for Two is a bit different from other interview shows.
We sit down at a great restaurant for a meal, maybe a glass of rosé, and the stories start flowing.
It is intimate, revealing, and often hilarious.
We're back for a second season, and the guests are going to be just as incredible.
We're back for a second season,
and the guests are going to be just as incredible.
We'll be breaking bread with Colin Jost,
Michael Mann, Divine Joy Randolph,
just to name a few.
And this time around, we're going even deeper,
and we'll have something new for you each week.
We'll talk about the big breaks, heartbreaks,
and of course, food.
So I hope you'll pull up a chair and join us for the latest season.
Listen and subscribe to Table for Two on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts um do you guys
have a question for us uh yes we do um now that hopefully COVID is on the, you know, eventual decline and there's the vaccines coming out and everything like that,
and we can try to hope what our post-COVID life will be like, what is the first thing you guys are going to do slash where are you going to go first?
Like, what's that first thing?
Are you going to go for that, your favorite hamburger place?
Are you going to travel?
What are you going to do?
I feel like my eyes could well any moment just by your question because you
know we had jd the real jd on and he you know i don't know if you're listening but he i said when
are you going to the movie theater without any worries and he said probably first quarter 2022
and um well your daughter put theater your daughter put theater on my mind. So I really miss – I go to the theater when there's no COVID and I live part-time in Manhattan. I go to the theater so many times a week. It's my favorite thing in the world. I love it so much.
in my mind was going to a great meal, taking my girlfriend to a great off-Broadway or Broadway show, and then going for drinks out afterwards with all my friends. That's my idea of a perfect
night. And I would do it so much, and I haven't done it since COVID began. So that's what came
to my mind. Donald, I know is going to be Disneyland. No, you know, for me, it would be Disneyland. But my kids are so into, for some reason, Hawaii and New York City have been like fantasies
for them.
For some, my son thinks that Hawaii is the greatest place you could ever go.
The water's warm.
The fish are fresh.
You swim with dolphins.
Like, he believes that there's something magical about Hawaii. you could ever go. The water's warm. The fish are fresh. You swim with dolphins. He believes
that there's something magical about Hawaii.
So he's like, when COVID's over,
we're going to Hawaii. That's one trip.
Have you been before? I've been.
With me.
I've been.
I remember those.
Those were great.
You probably saw some paparazzi pictures of us both looking
like we had dad bods.
What's wrong with a good dad bod?
Yeah.
We're going to,
I,
we got to go to Hawaii and my daughter wants to go to New York,
which is where I'm from.
So we got to go to New York before.
It was like,
we'll do it when they're older.
Now it's like,
we're going to do it as soon as we can.
As soon as this is over,
we're going to figure something out.
Even if it's like,
you know, even if we just go to New York, we're going gonna figure something out even if it's like you know
even if we just go to new york we're gonna figure it out how about you joelle oh man uh actually the
thing you thought donald was gonna do i want to go do i love disneyland like three of my best
friends are obsessed with disney they like one's like pretty much a historian she could tell you
like as we're walking through like haunted mansion she's like and that prop was used here and it's just like i don't know it's like the best day you can have in california like
go through disneyland and you hop over california adventure you go a little tipsy you do the light
show and then you go back over for the parade it's like yeah a perfect cute you can only get
drinks in california adventure just you know i think you can get drinks at Galaxy's Edge, which is in Disneyland now also.
So you can.
And the thing is, the drinks are expensive.
Yeah, but that's understandable.
I remember being told that I could only get.
I was like, where's the beer at?
And they were like, California Adventureland.
No, Galaxy's Edge.
They have true hard liquor there, like real drinks at Galaxy's Edge.
Oh, that's the Star Wars bar?
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't like that.
I told you I didn't like that.
What?
Sorry.
Sorry, guys.
Have you guys been?
Hold on, man.
No.
No, we've been to Disney World.
Well, as Star Wars fans and your daughter as well,
you should go to this because look at Donald's face.
He's so pissed.
You should.
When COVID's over, take him to this.
Tom was actually supposed to run the Dopey Challenge
in Disney World in January.
What is that?
It is, so the first weekend in January,
they have like their marathon weekend.
And I was going to run.
It was Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
It was a 5K, 10K, a half marathon,
and a full marathon in four days.
Are you serious? You can run like that?
I was training for it and then COVID happened, but I mean,
I've run a bunch of races. I did the New York city marathon a few years back.
And so, and to be honest, it's this podcast that was like my,
you know how you say like some people use podcasts for health reasons.
You guys were my workout running podcast. Oh, great.
Now that you're back to two a week, I can run more. I can work out more. So thank you. Oh, good.
It's our fault that you fell off the wagon. I broke my toe.
It's Zach. It's Zach. It's Zach's fault.
I got to tell you,
I've fallen off my workout regimen because I broke my toe and I think I'm
another week away from being able to spin again. But yeah,
so I too have a, I so I too have a little,
I've gotten lazy with it.
But wow, that's still impressive
to be able to do all that running in one weekend.
I'm going to try it.
But as you see,
our daughter is very crazy about the Star Wars.
She already has our plan,
what we're buying when we go to Galaxy's Edge.
Apparently she's getting the green lightsaber.
I'm getting the blue one.
We're doing that.
That's so sweet.
You sound like a really good dad,
Thomas. I'm trying.
I'm trying. They have other lightsabers
there, too. They have, just in case
you are wondering. Hold on. Let me get
a pen to write this down. Okay. They have
other lightsaber crystals there.
It's actually, you would think that the
light in the saber
makes the saber
color, like the saber light.
You actually can put a crystal in there and it
changes your saber color.
I wish the audience could see that Joelle
is nodding like a member of the choir
when the preacher is deep into
a sermon. So excited to buy my saber!
So, but
so, that means there's white sabers.
These are very crystals, but
you can find them. There's
Ahsoka's color saber
and there's a black saber out there.
They have the dark saber?
There is a dark saber out there.
But you gotta find the crystal.
Dare to dream. Danil, what's your
post-COVID you can do anything?
Man.
I'll tell you.
I'll be absolutely real with you.
Real talk, my answer is I'm excited to go get Korean barbecue with like 16 friends.
I'm really excited to share a couple of flat tops, get a bunch of rounds of height, a delicious Korean beer that is you know mostly water but it's just so
great especially with k barbecue eat all the banchan eat all like bulgogi you like bulgogi
i do like bulgogi i love all of them i love me a brisket i love when you get like the the oh the
miso pork all of it i'm just a huge fan where do you get it in la because i want to try it where
do you what's a good place there's a bunch of really good spots. So one of my favorite non-all-you-can-eat spots is called Oookook.
It's O-O space K-O-O-K.
Oookook.
And then another spot that is all-you-can-eat.
And the reason I like this spot is because you can call at any time and say,
hey, I want to show up with 15 people.
Is that cool?
They'll say, yeah, show up in 15 minutes.
It's a place called Road to Seoul.
It's not your top of the line.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have a very special visitor.
Please, I'm done anyway.
Just for Thomas, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend,
Florence Pugh, who's bringing me stuff.
Hi.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi, how's everyone doing?
Hi.
What's up, girl?
Hi.
How's everyone's Christmas preparations going?
Well, to be honest, you guys were part of Linda's Christmas present.
So, Merry Christmas, honey.
No way.
It's all been organized.
Thomas, you can do better than this.
You can do better.
Wait, I got it.
Thomas.
No, sir, I cannot.
Thomas, tell us why you, you know,
wrote in in first place to be on the show.
Well, so my wife is an angel, a saint.
Just, you know, so kind, so caring.
She has a full-time work from home job.
She's trying to do the full-time mom thing. I'm
a first responder in New York City. So I'm not home a whole lot. And my schedule, it gets a little
crazy. Joel knows she tried to book us for one day and it didn't work out because I was literally
doing a triple at work. So very last minute stuff, my wife is stuck dealing with, you know, as adorable as my daughter may seem in this one little moment.
It's not always like that.
And, you know, she's four and a half going on 16.
Our son is going to be two years old in three days, actually.
And he is a handful.
He's a good boy.
He's a good boy. He's a handful. So being able to do all of this stuff is just so hard.
And she's so tired, but does it with such poise and grace that I wanted to do something amazing for her.
And we love your podcast. Your podcast has gotten us through since the pandemic started,
because the podcast started when this started. So, you know, you give us laughter, you give us joy,
you give us things to think about and talk
about so you know i wanted my wife to have just a moment of just something amazing and so
and that's you guys and yeah and you guys would be amazing you're so sweet you are
you as daniel would say you honor me by saying all that.
If anyone is deservant of this opportunity,
you're so sweet.
And we threw in Florence Pugh
as a bonus.
This is great.
I know as well.
I want to take a picture.
What are you making?
Florence made us popcorn.
I'm going to eat it raw.
Face up. Here, I'll pretend I'm handing it to you guys
Oh wow
Would you put butter in there?
I can taste the butter
Yes I did butter, I did icing sugar
I did cinnamon
Oh man
Icing sugar
Just be careful you're not working out remember
I know I told them my mom I know Oh, icing sugar. Oh, you're fancy, huh? Just be careful. You're not working out, remember?
I know, I know.
I told them my mom. I know.
Oh, thanks a lot, babe.
But anyway, and yes, I mean, like I said before,
I did use videos of my daughter being adorable
to report Joellen.
You didn't have to do it.
As you should.
It worked.
It worked.
It worked, Thomas. You seem like a really good husband
and a good father to me
I only know you over the phone
Can you say that so I can remind her of this
next time I'm in trouble
Thomas
You're never in trouble
We know you're such a great guy
She knows
It's hard.
You got so much on your plate.
What type of first responder are you?
I am a New York City police officer.
Nice.
Why did you hesitate on that?
You seem like.
I know it's not the most popular first responder at the moment.
So.
No, you're popular in our book, man.
I appreciate it.
So, again, it's just, you know the schedule gets gets tough and you
know trying not to bring things home and my wife is just you know just handles it all phenomenally
do you have to work on really um horrible hours uh my hours are kind of all all over the place um
i'm in a position where i can kind of make my own hours but every now and then i'll get the hey you
know we need you to stay for this we need you to to do this. We need you to do that. And it's usually not without a whole lot of notice.
So, you know, one, they'll be making like a really nice dinner and I'll have to call up like,
yeah, I'm not coming home. So, Oh, wow. In the grand scheme of things, you know, it's,
you know, we're both so very fortunate that we both have jobs, you know, we both have our health,
you know, so compared to so many people
that are suffering and going through so, so much, I know, I definitely recognize how good we have it,
you know, but I still know what a toll it takes on my life. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're
all, we're all in this, right? This is, this is something that, this is something that none of us,
first of all, none of us expected this to happen.
But once we got into it, nobody, there's so many things that have happened since COVID that have, you know, and you've experienced a lot of it, you know, from the stuff with George Floyd to, you know, to what happened in the city when people were looting and to the protests.
And, you know, you've probably witnessed all of it.
I can't imagine the amount of stress that that would put on my relationship with my wife,
having to bring all of that energy home, because what you're seeing out in the streets,
you know, it's a lot of, there's a lot of anger out there, right? And there's a lot of,
you know, people are upset and on both sides, everybody's angry.
And it's just like this. It just seems like everyone's clashing.
And I can't imagine being in the center of all of it and then stepping away and then having to go and kiss my wife and children.
That's that seems very tolling on on it would be toying on any individual so thomas i do not envy you uh when i when i when i say when
you have a very difficult uh position and job that you are well it's fun to take it back to the show
i've always tried to when i step out of work and i take that first step i try to do the kelso thing
you know you take a step up and it's kind of whistling. You keep walking. Yeah. But sometimes you can't.
I don't see how that would always be humanly possible doing what you do.
It's tough.
But, you know, it's I feel like there's been a lot of opportunity for growth and for change and for conversations to happen.
And hopefully it can keep going.
That's the most important thing, right?
Communication.
to happen and hopefully it can keep going.
That's the most important thing, right?
Communication.
And listen, I got to say with people like you who are open to conversation
and obviously filled with lots of love and respect.
That's all we can do.
Is there any way we can dovetail this
into fixing your life somehow?
Yes, very much so.
So wait, hold on. We got to do our special sound check. Yes, very much so. So wait, hold on.
We got to do our special sound check.
Daniel, it's time
to go ahead, Donald. Fix your
life!
Uh?
Uh?
I put a little bit of a uh in it.
What?
You're unprepared.
I put a little bit of fix your life.
It's like almost a question.
All right.
All right.
We're ready to fix your life now.
Okay.
So between a full-time job at home, two little kids,
my husband never being around, I don't get a second to myself.
So I can't work out.
I can't take a shower by myself
I feel like I actually need to be talking to Casey really
let me go get her
oh god
when do I ever get a chance
it's significant
by the way this is a very special episode
and I promise not to always have Bob clean my mouth
when I talk about
I had to see Zach Brat spit.
That's awesome.
I think I'm spitting in Hamilton.
We've never had
both
significant others visit
in one episode. This is going to be just epic.
Casey Cobb.
Casey Cobb really is the best person to give you advice.
Yeah, right.
This is a supersized episode.
It is.
It's a supersized episode.
Cause we also haven't talked about half the damn thing yet.
We always get distracted.
As you know.
I get yelled at constantly.
Cause I'm always behind in the podcasts because you know,
Tom has his community,
takes the train to the city.
Then he takes the subway and then he does all this.
I don't even have like three minutes to brush my teeth on myself.
So I can't,
I've never listened to the podcast on time. So.
That was Casey Cobb. Now, Casey, these people, sorry, I'm eating popcorn.
These lovely people are so busy and she's asking how you find time for
yourself to do anything with all these kids.
Honestly, I feel like I should step out i know right i feel like i couldn't have even made it up here without donald making me come up here i'm sorry no no three
minutes she had to herself this is no but it's good it's good because we we we needed we had
to call you know like um phone an expert like on that on that old game show who wants to be a
millionaire donald and i don't know how to answer this well i especially don't but we thought you We had to call, you know, like on phone an expert, like on that old game show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Donald and I don't know how to answer this.
Well, I especially don't.
But we thought you could answer it better than anyone.
How do you find the time to do anything?
Well, do you want to know?
I just stopped.
I finally just stopped doing it.
Like, we do everything.
I'm sure you do everything in your house.
So I stopped doing everything.
So perfect example, my kid doesn't wipe her own butt.
And I was like, you know what?
You're going to start wiping your butt and I'll check you later.
Because you know what?
I'm tired of getting up and doing things.
Because you have to, if you're going to always do it, they're going to always let you do it and expect you to do it.
So now I've just
stopped doing it. Whereas where the kids are yelling at me for something and I know Donald's
home and I know they're not going to hurt themselves. I just act like I don't hear it.
And I just go up in the room and I shut the door. I'm like, I'm in the bathroom. I need private time.
Oh, and I tell you, I think you might close the door when you're in the bathroom.
There you go. And you know what?
But you have to lock it because if you know he's home, you know, someone else is in the house with your kids.
Whereas I wasn't I was always terrified to lock the door because I always thought, no, and I don't want to shut the door in case they need me.
Well, fast cut to my kid brought her keyboard in the in the bathroom.
She's playing music to me while I'm on the toilet. It's just a shit show.
That's hilarious, though.
It's a shit show.
Get it?
It's a shit show.
It's a shit show.
I didn't even mean that.
I didn't even mean that.
But no.
So it's like, and Donald will be downstairs watching TV.
So there is someone, if I don't put the responsibility,
if I don't force it onto somebody else,
it's all going to be on me regardless.
Yo, real talk.
Like, I get a lot of free time in the house, right?
I get a lot of times to go off in the corner
and do things that I want to do.
What she's decided to do now is,
because a lot of the things that I do
aren't necessarily kid-friendly, right?
So what she's decided
to do is be like go ask your dad
so I'll be in the middle of doing
something kid friendly sorry officer
I'll be in the middle of doing something
that's not kid friendly
it's legal almost everywhere now
knock at the door and it'll be my kid
and you know
now I'm scrambling trying to hide all my
shit
you would say that I am of no help around the house right absolutely okay
no you are but given your schedule I'm home a lot with them by myself and I'm trying to send
an email for work and I be like well if you're dying, then let me just finish this email. Mama. Mama. Right. How old are your kids?
Four and a half and two.
Oh.
Yeah.
So they.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, this is going to seem controversial, but we have a dog crate that we use.
I'm just kidding.
I have no problem with that.
I think that's great.
It'll work perfectly oh that is such a
hard age it really really is so I I mean we've been there obviously I'm just now you know um
but I I and I said this the last time I came on this we we as moms we always feel like we're the
only ones that know how to do it the only ones that can do it and the only ones that know how to do it, the only ones that can do it, and the only ones that are going to do it.
And that's not true because believe it or not,
it does get done without us, not the way we want it,
which is the part that bothers me the most.
You said feed the kids.
You didn't say what to feed the kids.
Before we came on,
I just got yelled at because I didn't clean the basement the right way.
Yeah.
I put the stuff away, all the toys that were all in bins, just not the right bins.
Yeah. Well, also part of this, you have to understand and give yourselves and all couples listening a little bit of slack because these are not normal circumstances, how we're all living.
We're not meant to be.
I mean, I know that you're working, so you're at least disappearing and you're having at least some separate time, but a lot of people
who are, who are in lockdown, you're just completely on top of each other. It's just not
natural for us to be this on top of each other. So I think, I think a lot of relationships are
being affected because it's really putting a strain on everything.
Relationships too.
What about it?
Relationships.
We're stuck in the same house.
We're stuck.
Yeah.
I think that,
you know,
we're used to a world where we,
we're used to a world where we separate from each other,
miss each other.
I mean,
I'm going to tell you,
go ahead.
We had an argument a couple of like a week or ago. And he was like, let's just, let's just get divorced.
Let's just, you don't want to be on.
Oh, you took it to there.
You need a new man.
And I was like, I need a wife.
I don't need a husband.
I need a wife.
Go ahead.
I think we should just let the two of them talk
I'm like
bring me another woman in the house
that's gonna do I need another clone
of me
I would love that
best day ever
alright alright let me wrangle this
back to some form of sanity
thank you Casey
thank you Casey and wrangle this back to some form of sanity. Bye. Thank you, Casey. Thank you. Nice to see you. Thank you, Casey.
And
guys, I think it's safe
to say you're welcome. We helped you.
I appreciate it. Thank you.
In all seriousness,
you know. You're welcome.
You're welcome. But I just want to say,
okay, I say this all the time. It's kind of
like our mantra of Fake Doctor
True Friends. When you're at each other's throats and when your kids are driving you crazy, don't forget to reach your, your red zone and go, okay,
people all over the world are experiencing this.
I'm not alone.
I'm not weird.
There is help on the horizon. The vaccine started shipping yesterday,
today,
today,
today.
Hey,
and your husband's going to get one.
You're going to Thomas.
You're going to,
you're going to get one soon. I'll let you know if he starts glowing
Yeah
Let us know if he glows
If he grows any
I'm interested in that
I'm really interested in knowing
If it helps with hair growth
As well
I feel ya
It'd be funny if it had a side effect that was, like, positive.
Like, it makes your penis hard for, like, hours.
I don't want that side effect.
All right.
On that note, it started with a child singing Hamilton and ends with a penis joke.
It always ends with a penis.
Oh, so because...
I promise, that's my last bite of popcorn.
You won't believe what she does with this popcorn, Donald.
Can she put it on Instagram so we can see the recipe?
She put...
She put frosting powder
of some sort. I don't know. It's probably meant to make
frosting, but she said, no, that's going on the
popcorn. Jesus, that's good.
Tell her to put the recipe
on Instagram.
All right. Listen, guys's good. Tell her to put the recipe on Instagram.
Listen, guys, because you're so sweet and because
we love you and you're such avid
listeners and you also delighted
us with an adorable child, we are going to send you
a big-ass palette
of GT's kombucha.
I wanted to try this since I first heard about it, actually.
Thank you.
Well, it's very addicting in a good way in that I find that, you know, in the later afternoon,
if it's like two, three, and I'm like, I want something.
Don't go have more coffee, Zach.
That's just, it's too much coffee.
This is my conversation to myself.
And so, but you want something you want like a treat
it's perfect for that when she goes from coffee i bought that two or three as much as she goes
from coffee to wine yeah well we try and wait till five for for wine but anyway you're gonna
love it it's really good and uh they're a very uh great sponsor of ours so joelle is going to
get all your info and send you a big ass with that of GT's kombucha. Thank you so much.
All right.
Thank you, guys.
Stay safe.
Be well.
Stay safe.
Take care of each other.
Bye bye.
Stay healthy.
All right.
Be healthy.
Bye.
See you soon.
Let's take a break.
We'll be right back after these fine words.
If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
woman's face goodbye. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season,
teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast,
Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers.
Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis
and sharing that journey with so many of you.
There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give
you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities
are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much
bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together,
we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be
Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose.
I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now.
Michael is known for his performances in both film and television.
His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations
his portrayal of killmonger in marvel's black panther one of my favorites further solidified
his status as one of hollywood's leading actors earning him widespread acclaim for his complex
and compelling performance in our conversation michael really opens up you're gonna love listening
to it and i can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always
the feeling when you're getting ready to, you know, people give up right before they get what
they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio
app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Bruce Bozzi. On the last season of Table for Two,
we had some good times at the table,
enjoying lunch with some of the best guests
you could possibly ask for.
People like George Clooney, Julia Roberts,
Scarlett Johansson, and the beautiful Sarah Jessica Parker,
to name a few.
Table for Two is a bit different from other interview shows.
We sit down at a great restaurant for a meal, maybe a glass of rosé, and the stories start flowing.
It is intimate, revealing, and often hilarious.
We're back for a second season, and the guests are going to be just as incredible.
We'll be breaking bread with Colin Jost, Michael Mann, Divine Joy Randolph, just to name a few.
And this time around, we're going even deeper,
and we'll have something new for you each week.
We'll talk about the big breaks, heartbreaks, and of course, food.
So I hope you'll pull up a chair and join us for the latest season.
Listen and subscribe to Table for Two on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
or wherever you get your podcasts.
That's our first police officer first responder on the show.
Yeah, and I also think we gave them some decent couples counseling,
thanks to Casey.
I really liked your advice on that none of this is normal,
and so we talk about this often on the show your mom is right man you wouldn't be normal if you weren't feeling the anxiety and the pressure
of the world right now yeah you wouldn't be normal if you weren't feeling it yeah what's happening in
the streets right now what we're seeing this if this wasn't happening, it wouldn't be normal.
The clashing, the fighting, all of that stuff.
What we're seeing, this is people at the brink.
We are at the brink, America.
And it could teeter either way.
It could go positive or negative.
A lot of people are showing their faces and their true colors, and that's always a good thing.
When you can see the enemy, that's a beautiful thing.
That's great.
Thank you for showing us.
Thank you for showing, you know what I mean?
It's all out there right now.
We're at a point, America, where this can go either way.
It can go either way.
We have reached it.
It is here.
This is it.
Either way, we have reached it.
It is here.
This is it.
You're talking about all the socio and political things that are happening in the world, which are sort of building to a head.
And that's its own anxiety.
And then you have your just normal anxieties at home with like with your partner, with your kids, with your family.
And, you know, my mom's got a cold now.
And I'm like all day long.
Of course, I'm thinking, oh, God, please have it be just a cold.
You know, anything that comes into our day is magnified and exaggerated because of these times.
Let's talk a little bit more about scrubs and then end the show because we have a little more of this episode to get to.
Okay.
I laughed when Cox said, you made your own bed.
Now your underpaid gardener's going to sleep in it.
That's when he moves, he and Carla move a bed into Kelso's office. Now the line for the toilet, Donald, includes all of our stand-ins.
Scott Rabideau.
Yes.
Deontay Gordon. Deontay Gordon. J.K., who was Johnny C.'s stand-in.
Yes.
It's also got Colonel Doctor and Laverne.
Yes.
It's a really nice lineup.
It's a great lineup.
It's a great –
I'm surprised Snoop wasn't there.
Well, this is the time.
Well, Snoop's introduction, at this point from here on out, we're now going to see
our regular background extras.
They're going to be prominent from here on.
You know, we talked about them for so much time
in the beginning of the
first season and the second
season, and now we're at the end of the third
season, or the middle of the third season,
and now we're really going to start to see them.
So it's going to get real nostalgic.
Now it's when they started giving when Bill started giving them all lines.
Now this is when we all started going out to bars together and drinking after work.
This is when the community of Scrubs became, this is the season where we all became like a community.
And it was like the hospital was like a compound.
And I don't want to say that Bill was David Koresh or anything like that,
but it was like we were the scrubs.
We were a group of people.
We had a softball team at this point.
We were a unit.
We were a group.
We were a family at this moment.
There's a bunch of funny lines in a row.
First of all, Enid made you a prosciutto and mozzarella sandwich,
but there was a misunderstanding, and now it's gone.
That made me laugh.
And then we learned, speaking of background performers,
we learned that Mick Head was in rehab for huffing paint.
Yeah.
Yeah, he won't do it again now.
He'll never do it again.
Won't snuff paint again.
Now, when Michael J. Fox...
Mick Head was in rehab?
Yeah. That was a hilarious joke. Hilarious.
I was just doing a joke. Oh, I thought you were...
Did you think, or is it just me,
that when Sarah finds the Polaroid
picture of Michael J. Fox,
that it would have been a funny joke to have it slowly
disappear like Back to the Future that it would have been a funny joke to have it slowly disappear like Back to the Future.
That would have been great.
But what was...
That would have been great, but what was better was
when she looks at the picture and goes,
who took that?
Right.
Yeah, like, why?
And he says...
Obviously in the writer's room we're having an argument about
if it's a Polaroid, who took it?
And then they said self-timer.
I don't think Polaroid cameras have self-timers.
Maybe old school ones.
Not any kind of news.
I mean not to get anal about the rules of the story here.
Right.
Anyway, I can't help but see a picture of Michael J. Fox and think that it should slowly – there should have been some stupid fantasy where it slowly disappears um i i we'd never we had him on the show and we didn't do one back to the future
anything maybe it was in his rider like like like our red bulls and port-a-potties he wants to know
back to the future no back to the future talk yeah I thought it was funny when you say, can you and my brother just be co-best men?
It'll really help me out and take the drama off my plate.
And I go, yeah, it's fine.
God says it's supposed to be one.
It'll be one.
God.
God has weighed in.
And really, God would prefer it's one.
Well, just JD's pettiness in this whole episode is hilarious, man.
He's petty for the whole, you know, he starts off so on board.
You're his world.
Turk is his world.
But then he gets like so petty when, you know, the groom,
the guy who's fitting them for the tux says,
just make sure you tell your boy it's all about the woman.
The wedding's all about her.
And he goes off and freaking makes it so that Turk is second-guessing himself,
second-guessing everything, and is just giving it to his wife and his future wife.
Now she's crying on the couch.
Carl is crying on the couch.
And JD's sitting in the back eating cereal.
And JD's eating cereal.
And then the fight's over, and he goes, well, got to go to work.
When he says something like, got to go to work.
When he says something like got to go to work,
people to save some shit like that.
Something like that.
People aren't going to save themselves.
That's like that shit where they show,
um,
like memes of,
of women or anybody like drinking their tea.
Like,
like, like when something drama is about to happen.
Yeah.
That's like,
JD,
you said the one with Kermit always gets me.
He's oh,
that Kermit one.
Exactly.
With the Lipton iced tea cup. I do the popcorn J.D. just sitting there eating his... The one with Kermit always gets me. Oh, that Kermit one, exactly. With the Lipton iced tea cup.
I do the popcorn one.
You know that one from Thriller with Michael Jackson?
Although now I don't think I'm allowed to use Michael Jackson gifs anymore, am I?
No, yeah, you are.
Am I allowed to use a Michael Jackson gif?
I would say don't invite that controversy into your life if you don't want it.
Okay.
Well, anyway, it used to be my go to hold on
we don't have time to go into a whole thing
about Michael Jackson I'm sorry
we always gotta go out tomorrow
I'm not gonna talk about Michael Jackson at all
that gif is funny as fuck though
man it's perfect for the popcorn
you mean popcorn yes
there are plenty of popcorn eating gifs
not as good as that one. That motherfucker
is definitely into the movie.
That motherfucker is into that. Whatever movie
he was watching in that theater for the
thriller video, he was into that shit.
That dude is dogging that popcorn.
That's the happiest I've ever seen
anyone. Zach looks happy
eating popcorn. He wasn't as happy
as Michael Jackson. I think we can end the show
on the note that Donald has given us all permission to as happy as Michael Jackson. I think we can end the show on the note that Donald
has given us all permission
to still use the Michael Jackson
eating popcorn gif from the thriller video.
That shit is funny as hell.
Yeah, I use
it for when I'm going to sit back and watch the drama.
That is perfect.
Perfect.
Alright, everybody. We love you so much.
We did a long show Right?
Ish
Joelle
Yes very long
But good
The fans love it
When we go long
So
That's what I farbrow
I'd like to thank
Our guests
Florence Pugh
And Casey Cobb
Yes
And our lovely couple
And I'd like to thank
Daniel and Joelle
I'd like to thank
Zach for eating
Popcorn this whole
I'll never do it again, you guys.
But you have to understand, my girlfriend brought me gourmet popcorn,
and I haven't eaten a thing all day.
It sounds like it, too.
You sound like the motherfucker who hasn't eaten in months,
and they give him a cracker, a Ritz cracker.
That was the best cracker I've ever eaten in my life.
What was that, a saltine?
That was a Ritz.
That was a Ritz?
It was a saltine?
It was a saltine?
Come on, Moe. Come on, Moe.
Come on, Moe.
Please, Moe.
We got to go.
We got to go.
Donald needs to pull a long hit, and I have to have some real food.
We love you all, and give us some numbers, Donald.
Yeah.
Yo, listen, everybody out there, we do love you.
I'm supposed to just give numbers, but to everyone out there, the numbers are still
going up.
We're still reaching the highest
deaths ever.
On a positive note, though,
we here at Fake Doctors
Real Friends want to thank
you all for
buying the merch.
We love you.
5, 6, 7, 8. Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice
that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network,
iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke
has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba, and the cha-cha.
24 partners, six finals, and two mirrorball trophies.
She knows all the secrets, the behind-the-scenes arguments,
and the affairs, the flings, the flirting, and the fighting.
Listen to Sex, Lies, and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
It's Chelsea Handler. And if you listen to my podcast, Dear Chelsea, you know that I love
making space for women to share their stories. And that is why I'm excited to be part of Women
Take the Mic, iHeartRadio's celebration of women who make music, influence, change,
and create culture. All month long, your favorite voices from talk radio, music,
and podcasting will highlight the remarkable achievements made by women and discuss the
most significant issues facing us today. Search Women Take the Mic to listen to a collection of
International Women's Day episodes from iHeart's top podcasts, including Angela Yee's Lip Service,
The Psychology of Your 20s, and Dear Chelsea. It is a great way to support women and discover your new favorite show.
Head to iHeartRadio.com slash Women's Day for more and listen to Women Take the Mic
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Now, for years, we have humbly celebrated Women's History Month at QLS with a full month
of fantastic female guests.
This year, we say with pride
that we have four multi-talented,
award-winning ladies who kicked down barriers.
I'm talking Brittany Howard,
Corinne Bailey Ray,
and the incredible choreographer Fatima Robinson.
And as well as, let us see.
Listen to QLS on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.