Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 317: My Moment of Un-Truth

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

On this week's episode, Carla has a date and it's not with Turk! In the real world, Donald shares his love of Gravitrax, we discuss the holiday streaming movies, and we talk about naming nipples. Lea...rn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Guys, we are back. We are so excited. It is season two of your favorite New Girl Rewatch podcast. We have got a new season, we got a new name, we've got some of your favorite people from the New Girl universe. We've got the creator and showrunner, Liz Merriwether. We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We also have some of your least favorites, like Jake Johnson. I'm Lauren. Hannah, what's up? We do have Jake Johnson though. Yeah. Listen to the mess around on the iHeartRadio app, Lauren. Yeah, what's up? We do have Jake Johnson, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Listen to the mess around on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships,
Starting point is 00:00:45 and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. Imagine this, your parents sign away your childhood to an academic psychological study. And what about if your sister is very publicly tried, convicted, and sent to prison, when really she was just telling her long-buried truths? These tough questions are just a few
Starting point is 00:01:21 that we'll be grappling with on our upcoming 10th season of Family Secrets. Listen 10th season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 10 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, hey. Hey. Yo, I got to tell you something, man. And I am so excited about this.
Starting point is 00:01:39 And I don't know anything about this company. I don't know anything about what, you know, all I know is it's working for my kids and it's got my kids off of video games and it's got me playing the shit too and it's really it's a lot of fun and everything it's called GraviTrax. Have you heard of it? I saw it on Casey's Instagram and it explained it to people who don't know what it is, but I saw what Rocco built and it was fucking awesome. Yeah, okay, so GraviTrax is like a marble racing obstacle course slash...
Starting point is 00:02:18 It reminds me of like old school Hot Wheels tracks. Kinda like that also, but also like Lego also, because you have to build and it shows you pictures of things you need to make the obstacle course and everything work. It's really awesome. And the accessories that come with it are very creative also. There's like elevators and trampolines and catapults
Starting point is 00:02:44 and slingshots, like crazy things, like loop-de-loops, crazy things. And you get into it with your son, so you don't feel like you're playing something that's cool because you're as interested as he is, so you're actually playing with your kid something that's fun for you both. All right. When I was a kid, Times Square has this place called Port Authority. It's where all the buses come into New York City, right?
Starting point is 00:03:09 And growing up, that place was like a freaking scary ass, you know, dirty, you know? They made a television show about the neighborhood I grew up in, and it's about pimps and prostitutes and crackheads and, you know, the beauty of 42nd street and where all the movie theaters were right they made a move a television show about it anyway port authority had this thing and it had like a bunch of uh uh pool uh cue ball you know balls from you know from the pool table so like from one all the way to, was it 12 balls, right?
Starting point is 00:03:45 And they had a bunch of them and they created something very similar to what GraviTrax is doing. And it would, but this thing made like music. And I remember as a kid, people used to surround this thing because it was like this clever contraption of, you know, winding, you know, if anybody out there remembers the Sesame Street, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. Right. That,
Starting point is 00:04:16 remember how the cartoon went where it was like a pinball machine, but then when you, when you hit the ball, it went inside one of the holes and then now the ball's on a track and it's rolling all around us. That's what GraviTrax is, man. It's amazing. It's so much fun. It's so much fun. We have so much fun with it. The kids have been doing it for two days straight without being on a television screen, without, you know, with it's just them and their mind and their imagination. And I just want to give a shout out to them and say, yo, thank you so much for saving Christmas for us.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I'm sure lots of parents are looking for any way to have their kids be fascinated by something other than video games. Absolutely, or television. It makes kids have to use their brain. There's a lot of math involved. It's very specific in how things work. And then you have to be creative with what you're given in that realm.
Starting point is 00:05:09 It's really awesome. That's awesome. All right, well, everybody check that out. We gotta talk about Wonder Woman because I really am confused about Wonder Woman. I don't know what the hell was going on. And I know I'm speaking to three fans of superhero movies. I don't ever like to diss anyone involved
Starting point is 00:05:29 in creative endeavors because it is so fucking hard to make anything and thousands of people worked on this movie and there's so much talent. The actors are all amazing. I know the director's amazing. I just wanna know from three people who like these sort of things what that was. What a great question, Zach.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Joelle, you go first, man. You seem to wanna talk about it. I feel like this is the branded direction DC has chosen to go in where they don't mind making these sort of like be heavy camp films, but they're not for me. But they're audience really likes them. Who are they for? Because I was watching it going, is a kid gonna get any of this? I don't think it's for children. It's for adults, specifically guys, I think, who are really into like old school comics, which didn't always have to make sense. Like the, the basis of reality or even have like strong structure. Now there's a lot of great like classic
Starting point is 00:06:36 comic books, but there's also, there was a genre of comics specifically for looking at late 80s, early 90s, where like the physics were off and the body mechanics were way off and there's like no sense of reality and there's no sort of tie to like, oh, we need a great American hero. And it's not even, you know, 60s cheesiness. It was just like wild, extreme, like pumped up 90s kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:58 And those fans have really clung to like that ideal of superheroism. That's like what they really enjoy. And so, you know, you don't need a motivational reason for the Cheetah Lady to happen. She just happens and it's totally fine. It's not for me. I think there's, like, especially disappointing that Wonder Woman doesn't get to be the center character in her own movie. It's a little disappointing. I really like Wonder Woman. There's a lot of great source material for her, and. And for me, it doesn't do the character justice.
Starting point is 00:07:26 But I also don't want to take anything away from DC fans. I'm a true believer that if you like a thing, you know, that's your ride. Did DC fans like this movie? I haven't searched the internet to know if it's well received or not. I don't even know if critics liked it. I didn't even look to see if critics liked it.
Starting point is 00:07:40 It was critically panned. And it seems to me that while some DC fans were like no, this is a solid superhero movie it's certainly not getting the praise of like a Justice League or the the call for you know, Zack Snyder cut or anything like that. So I think it's sort of middling I Have I have a real problem? Listen We got we were really excited to watch it. Yeah, me too. We were really excited. I love all those actors.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Yeah. Yeah, great cast. Great cast. And the first three minutes of the movie with the little girl is the best part of the movie to me. Where she is in the race and at the last minute, I don't wanna spoil it, so I'm gonna shut up. But she's in the race and at the last minute, her, I don't want to spoil it, so I'm going to shut up.
Starting point is 00:08:27 But she's in the race. And that was the best part of the movie. And then the minute, this is where I was like, I think we're in trouble. Now I'm not hating on this movie. I'm not hating on this movie. I don't want to hate on this movie. But this is where I was like, oh, we're in trouble. When Wonder Woman turned back around and winked at the little girl,
Starting point is 00:08:45 I was like, Oh, uh-oh. Oh, no. And what did it for me, because my wife is a great judge of what's to come. She figured out the usual suspect before, you know, the minute the movie started, she was like, oh, that's Kaiser, that's Kaiser Soze, right? Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. She, she said, uh-oh, these are her exact words. She went like this, she went, uh-oh. And I was like, what, what, what, what, what? And she was like, uh, if the rest of the movie is like this,
Starting point is 00:09:21 we got a problem. What was with all the slow-mo? What was with all the slow-mo? If the rest of the movie is like this, we got a problem. Ha ha ha ha ha. What was with all the slow-mo? What was with all the slow-mo? Slow-mo is heroic? I don't know. I have to say, I don't understand how she could fly. I mean, I-
Starting point is 00:09:35 She's always been able to do that. She's always been able to do that. Hold on. Now, let's, if you want to go- Someone told me on Twitter that she was lassoing the lightning. I didn't put that together. I've never seen her do that before, but Wonder Woman has always been able to fly. What was weird was why does she have the invisible jet?
Starting point is 00:09:53 Because she can fly. That was always the argument. You know what I mean? Like, what's the point of the invisible jet if you can fly. But so as far as that goes, her powers and everything like that are top notch. Dynamite powers. And they're, but they're doing it justice, man. Like that's the truth.
Starting point is 00:10:15 She's supposed to be, if Superman is the male version of what is the most powerful, Wonder Woman is the female version of what is the most powerful. You know what I mean? Like they're supposed to be the Titans that protect Earth, you know? And that, that, that is apparent in this movie. Like it's clear if you are a mere mortal on this planet and you go against her and
Starting point is 00:10:37 you go against Diana, you're going to get your ass kicked. On the other side of things, we all loved soul, right? Soul was incredible You didn't like soul Joel. I have so many feelings about soul. It's a beautiful film. I I cried at the end I I think Structurally, it's very sound. I sort of wish In the way that Coco got to experience an afterlife that is authentic to a culture I wish soul had provided us with an afterlife authentic to black culture. But performances, outstanding. I really, really did enjoy just watching the film.
Starting point is 00:11:14 The animation was stunning, I thought. Beautiful. Beautiful. I saw someone comment on Twitter, one of them like, the body types, it wasn't just African Americans being the star of the show, but the way that the artist drew different body types and facial types and shapes and sizes, the way they drew his barber.
Starting point is 00:11:33 I mean, I just loved, I loved the art of it, I thought was magical. I loved Soul for a lot of reasons, but mostly for, like there's something special about an artist when they can inspire you. And usually when an artist does that, they win Academy Awards and stuff like that. And Jamie Foxx is one of those artists, when he gets it right, when the movie is right, and when he's in that zone, he really can inspire you. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:06 Like he really, his talent is top notch when the cards are in his favor and he's playing that hand. You know what I mean? Like I, and this is one of the, this Ray is one of those, but this one also, it's like you listen to him and you're like, holy cow, I need to be a voice actor. I think if I focus really hard, I could be a voice actor. Oh my, you know what I mean? He just makes it seem like you can do it too, and it's a gift that you
Starting point is 00:12:38 have. I once told him that, and I think it came off kind of wrong, and he was like, well, I was like, dude, man, you make people feel like they can win Oscars. He was like, well, shit, motherfucker, go get you one then. It's funny though. He was laughing with you, not at me. I was like, oh, all right, all right, my bad. But yo, anyway, the point is, he's just amazing in this role. And when it comes to music, it really does, you know, he really does shine, whether he's talking it or singing it or, you know, you know, it there's just something special about him when it comes to that.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Yeah, it's a beautiful movie, I think, and everyone should see it, even if you're not. If you, you know, I thought it was just artful. And Pixar, man, do they have it down? It's just almost every single time, flawless. Daniel, you didn't see that one either, did you? Didn't see it yet. Daniel was building computers. Wait, I wanted to talk about all the pictures of those of you who bought onesies. Donald and I are both loving all the pictures you're posting. It brings a giant smile to our face. We love that you love this podcast. I want to just be sentimental for one second before
Starting point is 00:13:54 Donald counts us in. The amount of love that you shower upon the four of us on social media and it really means a lot. I I saw so much, varying from silliness and someone in a onesie, eagling their husband to someone saying, this show probably saved my life, no joking around this year. And I just want you to know that we hear it and we love you, and we did not think we'd make this much of a difference,
Starting point is 00:14:24 but it means so much to all of us when we see your reaction. Hear, hear. Amen. And so we're going to keep entertaining you because that's what we're here to do is hopefully put a smile on your face. Right Donald? Absolutely. I second that.
Starting point is 00:14:40 All right. Well, let's why don't we rewatch an episode of Scrubs and discuss it. Five, six, seven, eight! So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our, Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Dono. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so do you have your recap ready? I do have my recap ready.
Starting point is 00:15:16 How did you feel about this episode? Um, I thought it was very silly. It was very short. It felt shorter than normal. Here's something I don't understand. How do you make an episode that really is only funny if you smoke a lot of weed about, you know, this is your brain on drugs? How do you make, you know what I mean? This show has so many, if you're stoned and you're watching this, this is a very, very funny episode.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Very silly. Like the type of episode where you go... Out your nose because you laugh so hard. Yeah. You know what I mean? I felt like if I... Since you asked me, it's like the writers were... I can tell when the room and when the vibe of the writers' room was particularly stonery and silly that week. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Now one of the main plots of this episode... But it's a brain on drugs episode. The B story is essentially that the janitor. Wait, let me get into the recap. Okay, okay. But I mean, it's definitely a, it's definitely like, if you had a stoner friend who wasn't into scrubs,
Starting point is 00:16:18 I suppose you'd probably start with Wizard of Oz with musical, but this might be one to show them. Right, absolutely, absolutely. All right, here we go. All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. Stopwatch and go. JD and Carla have really bonded over the last few years. Turk's sick of being nagged over his butt watching habits. Elliot and Cox think differently of a patient.
Starting point is 00:16:39 And the janitor is maybe the most desperate we've ever seen him. What are the limits to fidelity? When does it become infidelity? That's not up for anyone to decide but you. My personal belief, if you need to lie for whatever reason, you're probably doing more harm to the situation than helping. Communication is always key. Amen on communication being always key.
Starting point is 00:17:06 But Turk can't be looking at fucking all these asses all the time. Why not? Why not? Why not? If his wife says and means it and isn't bullshitting, if she says, honey, honestly, you're a man, and I don't find it disrespectful, and I'm going to look at that ass, too. She's got a great ass.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Whatever their rules are, and it's honest, she's not just putting it on. There's communication. To be a cool wife. And there's communication. Okay, I'm just saying if it's real, if it's not just like, she's like, oh, I don't wanna be uptight,
Starting point is 00:17:36 I'm gonna pretend like I'm okay with it, but really I'm crying inside. I mean, Turk is like, when she says go, he turns and he just looks at the ass like this. I feel like Turk and Carla might be open for a little, you know, uh, you know, we talked about it before, you know, JD kind of thinks it's possible. I think they're open to a little, you know, intermarital. First of all, first of all, she goes on a date.
Starting point is 00:18:01 This was so weird. Like she goes on a date and JD doesn't tell Turk. It's like, I mean, I was like, yes, you would have, but he doesn't in the show. I forgot. I'm sorry. I did. I brain farted on what your, what, what your reaction was when she finally told me. The reaction that they give is not a reaction. They give JD's fantasy of what's going to happen. Right. Do you ever see what really happens? Oh my God. How funny, by the way, how funny- First of all, you'd be this age right now. First of all, you'd be this age right now.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Sorry to yell. I said this, I just blew you out. Sorry. I said the same thing, dude. First of all, the funniest part of the show in my mind is me as an old man still living with you and farting. And then I went, I did the math and I'm like, that's me at 45. Right, right, right, right, right. That's how, how trippy is that to see yourself,
Starting point is 00:18:50 I mean this is an experience most people on earth will never have, seeing how you as a 25 year old portrayed yourself at 45, and then going back at 45 and watching it. I was old and bald and fat and farting. And still living with my friends. And very very Jewish. And very very Jewish.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Extra Jewish, extra Jewish, sorry. Cause I've got nowhere else to go. I was like a fucking Seinfeld character. Oh my God. I was very funny though. I wish we saw more of that character. I want to see more of him. Oh my god, I was very funny though There are certain things I wish I had more of I wish there was I wish Turks mole Puppet was a running gag and I certainly wish
Starting point is 00:19:43 45 but really 75 year old extra. Jewie Zach was a character character. I mean extra-jewy JD. Extra-jewy JD, well they overlap. All right. JD's nipple's name is Jasper, I laughed at that. JD loves to show his nipples. Right, your right nipple's name is Jasper. Yes, that's what I think it's that. And you have one hair named Clancy,
Starting point is 00:19:57 so there's Jasper and Clancy. Well the hair is named Clancy and the, we don't get the left nipple's name, is it, no it is the left, I think it's my left that's Jasper. Yeah, it's your left that's Jasper. I'm sure it's on Scrubs Wiki. You're right. No, you're right.
Starting point is 00:20:13 You're right. You're right. But anyway, first of all, in the spirit of sexual harassment at the workplace, I mean, JD and Turk are just like really not being subtle at all, ogling this woman's tush. Yes, they are. I gotta ask you a question. It's funny, even in 2002 or three, whenever we're making, it must've been three, we seem to not be playing character,
Starting point is 00:20:39 we seem to not be playing characters that were toning it down, or I don't know. It just seemed out of place. It was bizarre. I gotta ask you though, are you a ass man or a breast man? Ass man times ten. Okay, so when we first met though, dude, you were a breast man. You were all about tiny waist and big breasts, dude. When we first met, that was your thing. No, you're thinking of another friend.
Starting point is 00:20:58 That was you, dude! You were like, it has to be. I was like, what about the big ass? You were like, it has to be so tiny. No, I disagree. I remember this to be like a tiny, tiny thing. Maybe, maybe. I remember this! Oh my God, we're gonna fight. We're gonna, sorry, I don't mean to yell. We're gonna fight. We're gonna fight.
Starting point is 00:21:11 We're gonna fight. I'm not saying that your appreciation for giant tushes didn't rub off on me a little bit. I don't like fake. I like giant, I don't like fake. We both have something in common that we like the real real. I like the real real.
Starting point is 00:21:27 I definitely didn't know that ass implants were a thing until recently. I thought that was a joke. It looks weird, man. You got this big, big, big, big hump on your back and then these real tiny legs. If the hamstring don't match the booty, what you really doing? What you really doing? I mean, to each their own. To each the booty, what you really doing? What you really doing? I mean, to each their own. To each their own.
Starting point is 00:21:47 What you really doing? If you're listening right now and you're on the fence about whether to get the ass implants, Donald and I are begging you not to. Unless you got no ass. If you got no ass and you can... Then do squats. Don't fucking put silicone in your tush. Sometimes squats...
Starting point is 00:22:03 Sometimes squats... Okay, Danil. Sometimes squats don't help though. Well, I'm just, I mean, to each their own again, if you're sitting there on a cushy ass implant than Mazel Tov, I'm just saying I personally would rather you did squats. Joelle just over there sipping on her tea. By the way, someone wrote something so funny on Twitter. They said RIP to Joelle's search history after last week's episode where we made her search for the amount of sperm that are in each. Surprisingly no penis pill ads yet though.
Starting point is 00:22:39 Oh, you'll get them, Joelle. Fingers crossed. Just you wait. Well, you were doing a service for the Earth. For the Earth's people. For Earth. For Earth. Planet Earth.
Starting point is 00:22:49 You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Isn't it funny when you... Not funny, but when you Google something and then you're on some other website and ads for that thing come up and you're like, what the fuck? I just looked for two seconds. And it doesn't have to be like point of graphic.
Starting point is 00:23:05 It's like, I'm not that interested in iron shelving. I looked once. Yeah. I looked at a knife online, like a cooking knife, because you guys know I'm so into cooking. A chopping knife. And I looked into it because it's like one of those big ones that you see on the food network and stuff.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Yeah, the thick one. Yeah. It won't stop showing up. It just keeps showing up on my phone. And every ad on any site that I go to, YouTube, freaking Facebook, Twitter, well, Twitter doesn't have ads, but Instagram, it shows up. Yeah, they got you. Zuckerberg's got you. All right, now the Geoniterberg's got you. All right. Now the janitor's whole storyline.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Yes. Is a big storyline is that he has a twin brother named Roscoe and he's committed to tricking JD and Turk that he, I mean, does this guy have any work to do? He spends the entire time trying to convince us that he has a twin brother. time trying to convince us that he has a twin brother. And he goes through like outrageous feats to prove his theory. He enlists Troy? Right, he enlists Troy, he jumps out of a window, a one-story window, he jumps from the second story to the top of the first story roof. And then onto an ambulance.
Starting point is 00:24:24 And then onto an ambulance, and then falls off the ambulance because the ambulance gets a call so they they speed off he falls onto the ground i mean this this guy really really really really was committed to tricking him he made a video yes with troy for the birthday for the two of them for their twin birthday party birthday for the two of them for the twin birthday party. Twin birthday party. This episode was so silly. I mean, and he goes, take your time to look at this and runs around. Yeah. And then the other hand comes in
Starting point is 00:24:55 and it's got nail polish on the other hand. But then when he walks in, he goes, walk in slowly. Yeah. Yeah. What was the woman's name on his in his in his brain trust? Do you remember her? It must have been her Margo Margo crazy. I Margo it must have been her hand. Crazy. I Margo nice for memory. Someone wrote on Twitter, I thought was brain is that brain pill. Someone wrote on
Starting point is 00:25:18 Instagram or Twitter about you. It was funny. They said, there's definitely a Goldilocks sweet spot for how high Donald should be sometimes it's too little sometimes it's too much right sometimes I get too far gone yeah at times where I'm like holy shit I was high in that episode yeah and then there's sometimes where I was like I probably should have smoked weed in that episode yeah I just love that someone compared you to Goldilocks like that's that's that's that purge that that weed is not enough that weed is too much that weed. That's just Why don't we go break right Joel We're gonna go break and we come right back We're gonna talk about firm like mutton the second time that an ass has been compared to mutton in scrubs. We'll be right back
Starting point is 00:26:00 Babe, yeah, babe. You think they can hear us? Yeah, those are mics. Guys, we are back. We are so excited. It is season two of your favorite New Girl Rewatch podcast. We have got a new season, we got a new name, and we got a brand new episode every week starting July 2nd. Yeah, I am so excited for you folks to check out this mess around. When I say it's going to get weird, I mean, it's going to get weird. Just save it for the show.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Okay, that's probably for the best. We've got some of your favorite people from the new girl universe. We've got the creator and showrunner, Liz Merriweather. We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We also have some of your least favorites, like Jake Johnson. Lamorne. No, no, I'm just saying, like, if you're listing off your favorites, like, he'd be... Lamorne.
Starting point is 00:26:40 He's still a favorite. He just... Hannah, what's up? We do have Jake Johnson, though. Yeah. Listen to the mess around on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Katie Lowe. And I'm Guillermo Diaz.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And now we're back with another season of our podcast, Unpacking the Toolbox, where Guillermo and I will be rewatching the show. To officially unpack season three of Scandal. Unpredictable. You don't see it coming. It's a wild, wild ride that twists and turns in season 3. Mesmerizing.
Starting point is 00:27:08 But also we get to hang out with all of our old Scandal friends like Bellamy Young, Scott Foley, Tony Goldwyn, Debbie Allen, Kerry Washington. So many people! Even more shocking assassinations from Papa and Mama Pope. And yes, Katie and I's famous teeth pulling scene that kicks off a romance. And it was peak TV. This is new scandal content for your eyes,
Starting point is 00:27:32 for your ears, for your hearts, for your minds. Well, suit up gladiators, grab your big old glass of wine and prepare yourselves for even more behind the scenes. Listen to Unpacking the Toolbox on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines
Starting point is 00:27:54 in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling, as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage. I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is. I think he was like, oh yeah, things come and go, but with me it never came and went. Is she Donna Martin or a down and out divorcee? Is she living in Beverly Hills or a trailer park?
Starting point is 00:28:22 In a town where the lines are blurred, Tori is finally going to clear the air in the podcast Misspelling. When a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain. I just filed for divorce. Whoa, I said the words that I've said like in my head for like 16 years. Wild.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Listen to Miss Spelling on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We watch your whiz at McDonald's. And we're back. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:29:00 Ah! Ah! Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. Okay, I have a question. Why, why, why, first of all, why that, why? Why? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I have a question. Why, why, why, first of all, why that, why? I don't know. It came to my mind when you did that noise.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Okay. Second of all, second of all, I thought Elliot had gotten past this look. I thought we were moving past this look at this point, weren't we? No, she does this rocker hair for like, I think the whole season. Really? Okay. Yeah. I think season three was Elliot rocker hair. Okay, the whole season. Yeah, I'm sad about it too.
Starting point is 00:29:34 And the whole season and then and season three ends with us getting with Carla and Turk getting married, right? I don't know. I don't know either. Oh, Joelle says yes. I can look. I have it in front of me here. Well, Joelle you're looking Yes, I'm looking right here. Do you want to know what's coming up? Yeah, we have uh, oh we have his story I think this must be when you narrate
Starting point is 00:29:58 Oh shucks, it's either me or John C McGinley. No, it says you Turk has hesitations about whether or not to mail his wedding invitations Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiii i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i Yeah. It ends with Carla and Turk getting married. With George Takai as the priest. Someday somebody's gonna ask you. Just that line alone in that song. I don't even know the song, but just that line alone. Classic. So the sixth member of the cast of Spin City joins us, Alexander Chaplin. Now, we call him Sandy. I've known Sandy forever. We went to theater camp together, which sounds like a joke from Scrubs, but is true. We went to a theater camp called Stage Door Manor together. And... He is related to, say it, tell it. There's a reason why his name is Chapman. No, Chaplin. He's not related to Chaplin. His father-in-law is Hal Prince, the most celebrated theater director of all time.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I was under the impression that Sandy was related to Charlie Chaplin. No, you can check that. Let's look this up. I would know that. I would know that. Let's look this up. But his father-in-law.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Somebody, do you know who told me this? David Allen Bashe told me this, so I'm gonna put David Allen Bashe on. I don't think so. I feel like I would know that tidbit about him because I know him and he's a very very sweet man and a wonderful actor and do you know what film he was in that was really where his we were his acting was really incredible wish I was here do you remember that Donald isn't that
Starting point is 00:31:48 he plays the young rabbi. Do you remember that, Donald? Oh yeah, that's right. He's the one that gets smoking weed in the car. Yeah, that's right. And the plant and something about the plant, right? He is a great actor. I think very, very- He's an amazing actor. Are you kidding me? I think he's very underused. I mean, the guy should have his own show this moment where he explodes on Elliot over over trying to get pain medication out of her I mean, it was just like It was just like a quick little three sentence monologue and he fucking killed it. He's so talented He's very talented and very funny. Also. He's very funny. He can also has a beautiful voice
Starting point is 00:32:23 I love this man. I wish that I saw him more. We gotta, if you're out there and you're a casting director, you gotta book Alexander Chaplin because he is a talented fellow. Yeah, he is. Just give me a second. I'm still looking for this.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I think Joe Well is doing the work for you. Yeah, they're not related. And it doesn't even look like that, maybe his original last name. It says that he adopted it when Daisy got married, according to their Wikipedia page. Yeah, they do talk about stage door manner though, Zach. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Does it say that his father-in-law is Hal Prince? It does. There you go. Wow. He is very, look, he's one of those people where you're like, dude, he should be working way more than he's working right now. I agree. Listen, this is why I tell people, and not that, and Sandy's had a great career. He's been on Spin City. He's been on lots of shows. He's a working actor.
Starting point is 00:33:11 But I do have to say when people go, when people talk about becoming actors, I go, there are people like Sandy slash Alexander Chaplin that are so good and handsome. And you're like, well, why is this guy not a household name? I mean, it's humbling because you go, that's why I always talk about it all being a lottery. Like the fact that that guy never had his own show
Starting point is 00:33:36 or has yet to have his own show, I just can't believe it because he can do everything. And he's charming and Anyway, I cast him. I'll continue to cast him. It's crazy how that is though, because you meet a lot of those people in Hollywood as you go through the, as you go, you know, as you climb the ranks and as you fall down the ranks, you know what I mean? As you fall, you meet a lot of the same type of people who are running the same type of
Starting point is 00:34:04 race that you are, man. This thing really is like, I remember when I lived in New York, we used to look at this thing, look at the acting game as the trenches, because like your best friend all of a sudden is your enemy the minute you walk into an audition space, because you're all competing for a job. And you know, you're absolutely right. He's one of those people that you watch and you're like, wow, even as an actor, when you look at them, you're like, this person, there's something, something's wrong at this person's not doing it.
Starting point is 00:34:32 Right. It's like, why, like why? I mean, other than just the lottery of the way the chips fall, I don't see why. I mean, Donald and I both won't, you know, can name privately actors that are hugely successful and totally cut together in the edit room and they owe their career to an editor and a director. And then there's people like Sandy Chaplin who I directed him in Wish I Was Here. There's not a single take he did I couldn't use in the film. Him yelling at Elliot is also just on him. It never cuts to her reaction until
Starting point is 00:35:05 after he's done. So you see him smiling and then the ramp and the... It's really... And then he quickly turns a joke. And then, right, and then, right. Very, very... He comes back. I think he recurs a few times. Bill loves him too. Same character. Yeah. Bill loves him too. So all right, there's our monologue about how much we love Alexander Chaplin.
Starting point is 00:35:26 And again, sorry, shameless plug, if you still haven't seen Wish I Was Here, please check it out. And he's really good in that. I play a guy who's so not into his religion, and he's secular and was raised orthodox, and he befriends this younger rabbi who sort of shows him that there's a way to be religious without being the religious ways his parents were. And so he finds his own unique way to connect to spirituality. He's sort of the rabbi I always wished I'd met.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I wish I'd met a rabbi who taught me a way to be spiritual without the strict dogma that I had forced upon me as a child. I have a question for you. Go ahead. And this is hypothetical. And so I don't want to just change. I don't want to be, because I think everybody did a great job and wish I was here and everything like that. But if Natalie Portman would have played your wife in that movie, would you have made it the sequel to and everything like that. But if Natalie Portman would have played your wife in that movie, would you have made it the sequel to Garden State? No, no. No, I don't think so. I see how they're sort of cousins of each other. But I think I
Starting point is 00:36:40 didn't want to go anywhere near Garden State. I mean, obviously, it's coming out of my brain, and in this case, and wish I was here's case, my brother Adam as well. But so they're all gonna have a piece of me. In fact, the new script, it's funny, someone I know and love and trust read it, and I said, this is the first thing I've written that really isn't about me.
Starting point is 00:36:59 And they read it and laughed. They said, you think this isn't about you? Meaning, it's not about a struggling artist, a guy from Jersey, but it is so much of who I am in it. I think that that's just, that's what comes out of me when I write. So I think I see how they're cousins of each other, but I didn't see Kate's character having anything to do with Natalie's character. Would you ever consider revisiting that? I'd love to work with Natalie again. I don't want to do like, I've had so many opportunities to do incarnations
Starting point is 00:37:29 of Garden State. I don't, I just kind of want to lead at it. Would you ever want to put this cast back together? Like this is what I don't understand. This is what I don't understand. And certain, and some directors do it and then other directors don't do it. And I don't understand that.
Starting point is 00:37:40 And sometimes it really upsets me because you meet certain directors and you're like, I want to work with this person forever. And then you never work with that person again. Yeah. But like Scorsese is one of those people where if he loves you, you're in everything he's going to do. Same thing with Oliver Stone. You know what I mean? I don't understand why people don't take something that was successful like Garden State and bring the entire cast back together, same writer, same director, same everything, and create something different.
Starting point is 00:38:10 If it all worked the first time, why would it be different the second time? That's a great point, but you'd have to write something that would be perfect for all those people again, you know? Um, but you already kind of know what it is because you did it the first time, no? All right, if I just stick to the blueprint, the blueprint says this is going to work. This is something that rappers do all the time, all right? The blueprint says this is going to work. This is something that artists do all the time. The blueprint says this is going to work. And it does, pretty much every time. Pretty much every time. If a pop artist- Well, maybe in the rap world, but not in the film world.
Starting point is 00:38:47 It works in movies too. There's plenty of people trying to recreate the magic. Look at the whole world of sequels. I mean, how many sequels are good? That's, you're absolutely right when it comes to sequels. But the same formula works. The sequel is exactly what you're saying. Well, no, not really, because when it's the sequel,
Starting point is 00:39:06 you want something different. That's the only thing. That's the difference between the sequel and what the formula is. The formula works every time. The sequel can't be the formula again. That's the rule, man. It can't be, all right, I made Star Wars,
Starting point is 00:39:21 so the next one has to be Star Wars again. They made Star Wars, and the next one was Empire Strikes Back, and that's why the sequel works. This is the challenge though, and here's how I'll address it in the way that what I experienced is it took me a long time to make another film after Garden State, and I didn't... It's the classic sophomore effort, and I think artists of all types feel this is... Of course, I want the audience to come back for what they loved but I don't want to repeat myself you know it's the cloud any any musician
Starting point is 00:39:51 with their sophomore album would say the same thing I want I want everyone to come back into the tent but I don't want everyone to think I'm just biting myself so you're trying to say here's something in the spirit of what you liked but I'm also going to tiptoe us over here. Now that'll either work or it won't. Sometimes they won't like the tiptoe and they'll be like, where the fuck... Like for example, Wish I Was Here doesn't really have a love story. You know, it's a couple that loves each other and they're going through a tough time and there's a chance they might break up, but at the center of it isn't a
Starting point is 00:40:23 love story. So people that are so related to a love story were like, oh, it's a chance they might break up, but at the center of it isn't a love story. Right. So people that are so related to a love story were like, oh, it's a Zach Braff movie and it's got a vibe and it's got music and it's got great actors I love. And then when they saw that there was no will they or won't they love story, I think, I suspect we're disappointed by that. So it's always a challenge to go, I pray you all come back into the tent, but I also want to kind of do something different together. Right, no doubt. No, no, I totally understand what you're saying. I totally get what you're saying. But that makes me wonder then, Scorsese has figured out his formula, it seems like.
Starting point is 00:41:01 He makes really good, gritty movies, you know what I mean? Well, Scorsese always delivers. You're going to see Guns, you're going to see Criminal Activity, you're going to see amazing cinematography, you're always going to see the top actors in the world. Robert Rodriguez is another one that's done that, is my point. There are a handful of directors that have done that is my point. There are very, there are like a handful of directors that have done that. Tarantino, you know what you're going to see when you see a Tarantino movie. Yeah, and Tarantino has done it in a genius way that even more than anyone that they, I think,
Starting point is 00:41:36 they are so specifically Tarantino films, but they're all over the place in what they're about. So then what's wrong with you doing that? What's wrong with you doing it? Is it your personal? I'm not nearly as good a writer or as prolific a writer. But- Zach, Garden State is fucking fire, dude. Regardless of what you wanna say. And regardless of what you wanna say about
Starting point is 00:41:55 Wish I Was Here, that's fire, dude. It's a great story. Thank you. You know what I mean? And it touches something that you don't see in a lot of movies. You don't see a lot of people digging deep into that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:42:07 I think what I do, that is what I write, probably has a smaller audience. But it can grow. It can grow. But that's fine. I don't need to be U2, the band that came to my mind first. I can be a smaller act at a smaller venue, but there definitely, there clearly is an audience for it. But I'm content not being as hugely successful as Tarantino. My point is not just for you, this is for everybody. It's all right to do what you do.
Starting point is 00:42:39 There's nothing wrong with doing what you do. Nobody does you better than you. Yeah, I agree. For everyone out there. No matter what your art is, I believe that. And also what comes out of you at the time is the art that you have to contribute to the world. I always go back to Justin from Bon Iver sang to me, I think I saw the story on the show that he said... I tried to give him a note on the song for Wish I Was Here and he said, that's what came out of me when I saw the film. And so I don't apologize at all for the stuff I make,
Starting point is 00:43:13 whether sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, because it's what came out of me at the time. It's what I had to say and hopefully some people liked it. Right. Speaking of- That's very difficult to be on that page, because then that goes against everything that I was just talking about where the formula always works. If you're on that, this is what I expressed at that moment.
Starting point is 00:43:33 That's the only thing I can do, I think. I don't know how to, I mean, I have yet to know how to write something that's not like a... In order for me to get in a chair and spend that much time and commitment, I need to tap into like what I feel as a human being. I've yet to be able to be like, oh my God, I have a great submarine movie idea. And it's not to say that I don't have an occasional good submarine movie idea, but I wouldn't have the commitment to sit down and put the time in to do it. In order for me to fucking do the thing that we writers do, which is stare at the blinking cursor alone wishing you were doing anything else, I need to feel like it's coming out
Starting point is 00:44:20 of my fucking body. That's your formula. Yeah. My formula is to tap into my own psyche and my own... the things that make me joyous and the things that make me depressed and craft a story. It shows in your movies, man, because after walking out of Wish I Was Here, I think everybody was like, fuck, I'm depressed. Oh, come on. Come on, it's not that bad. There's hope at the end. There's hope at the end. There's very little. That family is so fucked, man. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:44:54 No, not at the end. They're happy. Yeah, but they're happy because the bully died. Well, no, and he fought. No spoilers, but he definitely begins a new chapter of his life and he seems like he's content. In the end, in the very end, in the very, very end. I love the movie, dude, I'm just telling you, man. That family is, that's a very, and what's crazy about it is that's the truth though.
Starting point is 00:45:19 That was a truth. And it's not a wrap this up with a big Hollywood bow. I don't wanna make that shit. I don't want to make that shit. There's plenty of people making that shit. I want to make the real real. I want to make, you know, you and your wife can have an all out fucking battle. And yeah, you love each other and yeah, you will do anything for each other. But in the back of your mind, you're like, is this going to fucking last forever?
Starting point is 00:45:41 Like, I don't know. I want to make that movie. I don't want to make the, I lift her up and we hug on the beach bullshit There's plenty of people doing that that feels good though, too Yeah, but there's plenty of people doing that plenty with I'd rather I'd rather tell it on a story about a couple that Hopes they're gonna make it. Yeah, that's the truth cuz that that is the truth man That's what that's what you know, when you walk out at a wish I was here, and I'm fucking totally, you know, I totally sound like your best friend,
Starting point is 00:46:10 who's so totally proud of you. But it's like when you walk out of that movie, regardless of who you are, where you are, or what you're doing, if you don't feel like, shit, damn, man, I'm happy I'm not shit damn man, I'm happy I'm not that right now. I'm not them right now. I just want, I just aspire to make you watch something that makes you talk about it. Like, you know when you go see a movie and then by the time you get to your car, you're like, should we get dessert?
Starting point is 00:46:36 Like, I mean, in normal times. Should we, and just, it's gone. It's gone like you had cotton candy. Right. I'd rather be like, yo, you remember the part where you're fucking such a fucking. Yeah, of course. And be like, I fucking, even if, by the way, even if you're like, I fucking hated the way he wrote that one character.
Starting point is 00:46:51 Like, even, I just want your passion. I love that, yeah. By the way, I'm fine to be polarizing. I want your passion. Right, right. That's what's up. I like that. Should we talk about scrubs?
Starting point is 00:47:02 We should. Joelle, why don't we invite the guest after a break? We'll be right back after these fine words. Babe. Yeah, babe. Do you think they can hear us? Yeah, those are mics. Guys, we are back.
Starting point is 00:47:15 We are so excited. It is season two of your favorite New Girl Rewatch podcast. We have got a new season, we got a new name, and we got a brand new episode every week starting July 2nd. Yeah, I am so excited for you folks to check out this mess around. When I say it's gonna get weird, I mean, it's gonna get weird. Just save it for the show. Okay, that's probably for the best. We've got some of your favorite people from the new Girl Universe. We've got the creator
Starting point is 00:47:37 and showrunner, Liz Merriwether. We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We also have some of your least favorites, like Jake Johnson. One more. No, no, I'm just saying, if you're listing off your favorites, he'd be- One more. He's still a favorite. He just, hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:47:51 We do have Jake Johnson, though. Yeah. Listen to the mess around on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Katie Lowe. And I'm Guillermo Diaz. And now we're back with another season of our podcast, Unpacking the Toolbox, where Guillermo and I will be rewatching the show to officially unpack season
Starting point is 00:48:11 three of Scandal. Unpredictable. You don't see it coming. It's a wild, wild ride. The twists and turns in season three mesmerizing, but also we get to hang out with all of our old Scandal friends like Bellamy Young, Scott Foley, Tony Goldwyn, Debbie Allen, Kerry Washington, so many people, even more shocking assassinations from Papa and Mama Pope, and yes, Katie and I's famous teeth pulling scene that kicks off a romance, and it was Peak TV. This is new scandal content for your eyes, for your ears, for your hearts, for your minds.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Well suit up gladiators, grab your big old glass of wine and prepare yourselves for even more behind the scenes. Listen to Unpacking the Toolbox on the iHeartRadioApp Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage. I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is. I think he was like, oh yeah, things come and go. But with me, it never came and
Starting point is 00:49:25 went." Is she Donna Martin or a down-and-out divorcee? Is she living in Beverly Hills or a trailer park? In a town where the lines are blurred, Tori is finally going to clear the air in the podcast Misspelling. When a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain. I just filed for divorce. Whoa, I said the words that I've said, like, in my head for, like, 16 years. Wild. Listen to Miss Spelling on the iHeart Radio app, Apple
Starting point is 00:49:57 Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Because we watch your whiz act and I know. And we're back. And we're back! And we're back! Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. Okay, where are we going when we see the janitor after he falls off the ambulance? I thought we were going to play basketball. The basketball hoop's behind us. I'm with you, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:22 I think that the director was assuming that the audience doesn't know the geography of our parking lot. Well this was written by Rich Estes. Is that how you say his name? I don't know who's written by. Let me look. This was written by, oh I don't know who Rich Eustace is. He wasn't a regular staff writer. I'm not sure what the story with Rich Eustace is. And then who directed it? Maybe, Gail Mancuso directed it. Oh, Gail. You love Gail. We do love Gail.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Love Gail. Gail has won many an Emmy, I think for directing Modern Family. Yeah, she does, she- That is correct. She does it right. She's great. I once texted Gail to have her direct Alex Inc.
Starting point is 00:51:10 And she didn't reply to me. Now, I don't know if I had the wrong cell phone this many years later, but to this day I'm harboring. I'm sure you have a listener in your life, someone that never replied and you're like, do I have a wrong number your life, someone that never replied, and you're like, do I have a wrong number or did they ghost me? Oh, I feel that way. And I'm like, no, Gail loved me.
Starting point is 00:51:32 It's not like we have beef or anything. Why would she ignore me? Oh, I have a bunch of people that I'm like that with, man. It's ridiculous where it's like I text them and then they never text me back. Yeah. It's weird though, man. But do you have people in your phone, like let's say someone hits you up, right?
Starting point is 00:51:48 Yeah. And they're not in your, it's not me, it's not someone in your close circle. It's like an outer ring friend, and you're not dissing them. Yeah, you'll get back to them, they're cool, but you're not gonna do it right now because you're in the middle of something,
Starting point is 00:51:58 and then you forget. Yeah, all the time. Of course. So sometimes, because of my neuroses, I'll go back and go, oh fuck, I never replied to so-and-so. It just happens too often with me, you know? Well, you're a stoner too, so it must happen more because of the amount of ganji. Alright, now I laughed hard at my character getting attacked for hitting on a woman in the elevator.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Hahahaha. Now, I think she overreacted a bit. Just a little bit because that's assault. That was assault. Yeah, she assaulted me. Because all you said- All I did was I used a bad pickup line and she beats the shit out of me. And she beats you.
Starting point is 00:52:36 That's assault. But it's hilarious. And I'm sure there's a lot of women out there who watch that being like, yeah, that's what you want to do sometimes when a guy's hitting on you in an elevator. That's what you want to do sometimes when a guy's hitting on you in an elevator. That's what you get. Okay. Carla ripping the condom open with her teeth kind of gave me movement. I don't know why there was a bit of a like a shift. You felt a jiggle.
Starting point is 00:52:56 Yeah. There was a little bit of a, yeah. Although you probably don't have a light jiggle. Like I feel like when you have movement, it's like, like what, you know, like when they make the sound effect of a giant boat moving, it's like, you honor me. You know, when they do like the underwater shot of like the aircraft carrier turning and they're like, we had a turn, turn, turn, and they cut
Starting point is 00:53:18 underwater and then you hear the boat like, like a big creaky turn. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I feel like it sounds like when your penis shifts. All right. Carla going on a date, it was just, I had trouble with that. Yeah. Like, who would ever do that? It felt so duplicitous and the fact that she made JD hold the secret.
Starting point is 00:53:44 That's where I had a problem. I didn't have a problem with her going on the date because that can happen. That could happen, but the fact that JD was there when it happened and she said yes, and then she was like, yo, if you tell on me, these beads mean nothing. That was like, wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Yeah. I don't know if y'all know how this works, but it's bros before hoes, B. That's real talk, B. Real, real fucking talk I'm gonna fuck what you say. I'll have Casey said to me. I'm gonna go on a date before That's a wrap B You might as well fuck Casey dude, you might as well fuck Casey
Starting point is 00:54:23 She says, yo, I'm going to Dr. Ravine. It is that bad, dude. Casey said to you, let's put it this way. Hold on, hold on, let me finish. We hanging out, right? You and my wife are friends. And I'm like, I'm not threatened by the situation. You guys are best friends. I encourage this because of my relationship with you, Zach.
Starting point is 00:54:43 You two hang out. So you two are hanging out. You go out one night and she runs into, I don't know, let's say Brad Pitt. That's somebody she talks about a lot. And Brad Pitt says to her, Oh my God, I was a huge fan of the newlyweds. You used to make me laugh all the time.
Starting point is 00:55:04 And she was like, Oh my God, I'm a fan of your stuff. And they're just having a cute little meet cute. Right. And at the end of it, Brad goes, I would love to pick this up some other time, Casey. Poor Casey. Poor Casey. What a horrible position. What's your number? I'll give you a call. Maybe we can go out some other time. And she's like, blah, blah, blah, eight, uh, uh, one five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, and gives them just keep dialing five. And you didn't tell me, of course, I would tell you. And no, I'm talking about, about the show. Yeah. And you didn't tell me. You might as
Starting point is 00:55:44 well fuck Casey. You might as well fuck Casey. You might as well fuck him. Well, I don't agree that those two are equal. Me not telling you she wanted to do it with Brad Pitt. If she goes on a date with Brad Pitt, she's going to leave me for Brad Pitt, dude. She's going to be like, bye, Rocco. Bye, Wilder.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Bye, Donald. It's Brad all day. Well, it'd be a mistake for her, wouldn't it? Because Brad Pitt's a horrible example. We might have to cut this. No. Brad Pitt's a perfect example. Brad Pitt have to cut this. No, Brad Pitt's a perfect example. The Brad Pitt's a perfect example because every woman who's straight listening is like, yeah, I get it. That would be a conundrum. And every guy who's
Starting point is 00:56:12 gay listening is like, yeah, I get it. That would be a conundrum. And every guy who's Kinsey scale allows right now is thinking like, yeah, I get it. That might be a problem. You know what I'm saying? Joelle, yell preach. Yes. Yes. yes, absolutely. Brad Pitt. If Brad Pitt is like, you gotta look at your partner and be like, yo baby, pass?
Starting point is 00:56:31 No, no pass. Like I'll try to, you know, I wanna Brad's friend. I don't believe in that. Let's make it work. I don't believe in that. I think that's just the game couples play. I don't think.
Starting point is 00:56:40 This show is all about, this episode is all about that though, man. A hall pass. Dude, if you Dude, the fact that JD didn't tell Turk is some bullshit right there, man. I agree with you. I was mad at the character. That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I didn't write it, Donald. The writers needed to find some drama, so they created the drama. But that's made up drama, man. Come on, man. That's made up.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I agree. Is the guest here, Danil, let's invite this person in and make their day. Let's cheer them up or tickle them with our words. Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, wearing his fake doctor's real French onesie, give it up for Jimmy Catley! Jimmy, welcome to the program. You're our very first guest to be wearing the onesie live on the show.
Starting point is 00:57:32 I encourage all future guests, if you have a onesie, to wear it as a guest. Jimmy, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Before we get any further, isn't it cozy? It's so cozy. Very cozy. Can I say real quick, I'm using my brother-in-law's computer. My name's actually Cam.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Oh, Cam. But you're probably Jimmy, but I go by Cam. Okay, Cam it is. Cam, why are you being so confusing? Why are you confusing? Cam. Oh no, I'm sorry, I thought I could change. Love it.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Cam, you can, you know, if you go in your window, see if you go up to the upper right-hand corner of those three dots, and you click on it, and then it says the name. I got you. Oh, sorry go in your window, see if you go to the upper right hand corner of those three dots and you click on it and then it says your name. Oh, sorry, Daniel's gonna do it for you. Actually, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Actually Kyle Catlin! I mean, I really just couldn't go through life
Starting point is 00:58:18 knowing that I didn't get Donald's Oprah intro to someone else's name. I would have been. You're a person, man. Oprah hit me up. When you play the show back, when you play the show back for your brother, it's your brother? Brother-in-law, yeah. Your brother-in-law. He's going to be happy that he got an opening.
Starting point is 00:58:30 I know. So your last name ain't even Keckley, is it? It's not. It's Salibi. All right. But listen, let's go kill everything. You're fucking killing me, Cam. You're fucking killing me, Cam.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Donald, let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Cam Salibi. Man. Donald, I would have, let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Cam Salibi. Donald, I wanna say that the onesie looks really good on Cam. It does. It is very comfortable, very cozy.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Now Cam, do you like the fact that it has pockets? Because sometimes you get a onesie and there's nowhere to put your phone or your stuff. You can put anything you want in there. Yeah, not only the pockets, but I like where they're placed too. You know, not even like to the side, they're like perfect, like a hoodie pockets, you know, without a pocket. I have only one complaint about our onesie. Okay. No poop flap. No poop flap. Yeah. Next incarnation we need to add a poop flap. It's going to cost more money though. Yeah, that
Starting point is 00:59:23 costs more money. You do have to go all the way off if you wanna, you know. Yeah, I just think a poop flap's funny even if you don't use the poop flap. I just think I laugh every time I see a poop flap. Cam, welcome to the program. Where are you calling from? I am from Charleston, South Carolina. Okay. South Carolina.
Starting point is 00:59:41 And do you have a question for any of us today to be on the show? I do, I do. I have a question for any of us today to be on the show? I do. I do. I have a question for all of you, actually. Go ahead, Cam. Not really scrub specific. And I just got to say, so I give credit where credit is due.
Starting point is 00:59:53 I kind of got this question from another podcast I listened to. It's called The Watch through the Rigger Network. Shout out to Shay Serrano. Shout out, Shay. But The Watch is two guys, they had Jason Mazzoukas on and they were talking a lot about this past year. And the question was, do you feel the way you consume content or what content you want to consume has changed over the past 10 months?
Starting point is 01:00:15 Do your personal taste or what you find funny, has that changed over the past year as well? Obviously, with the pandemic, things like that. Yeah, I think my taste in what I find funny has changed. And I think a lot of it has to do with how the culture has shifted. What is considered bullying and not necessarily, what's considered punching down now used to be considered very funny and it's not anymore. And so yeah, I think I'm way more
Starting point is 01:00:50 conscious of when listening to jokes. And this is something that I'm not necessarily happy about or sad about. It's just that I'm very aware of this now that when I listen to jokes, I'm also, when I'm consuming content, I should say, I'm also checking to see if it offends anyone. Because if it does, then I'm not necessarily... Once I feel like something offends somebody, then I have a problem with it in a lot of ways. And I don't know, and I think it has a lot to do with just the climate that we're in right now. I don't want anyone to necessarily be offended by me in ways that I've been offended by people.
Starting point is 01:01:41 You know what I mean? So if I ever make somebody feel like I have felt, then I got a problem with that. And I think this year, more than anything, because of the climate, we are experiencing that more. I think whether it's, okay, well, now that I know that it hurts you, people are using it more, or I know that it hurts you, I'm gonna refrain from saying it. And even if it's not honest, at least it's an effort to say, you know what, I see that that hurts you, my bad.
Starting point is 01:02:15 What about you, Joelle? Do you think your ways of, or the way you view content has changed at all during the pandemic? No, I mean, I was a film and television critic beforehand. I watched things all the time streaming or on my computer because that's how we get the screeners. I think that there's a possibility I like certain shows a lot more than I would have pre-pandemic. I still would have enjoyed, like, I would have enjoyed Tad Lasso whenever it came out, but my god, was it like vital to just lifting the spear?
Starting point is 01:02:46 It was like, it came at the darkest point of the pandemic where we were like, there's no cure in sight, I don't know what's happening, then like a beacon of light, here comes Ted Lasso, just to like bowl you over with comedy. And then- Did you feel, sorry to digress, that episode two was the best episode?
Starting point is 01:02:59 Oh, clearly, clearly the best, that was superior to all the episodes. There was something about the way it was directed. Go ahead, Jule. And then there's shows like The Queen's Gambit, or even, I don't know if you guys have had an opportunity to see Ma Rainey's Black Bottom yet. Yeah, I love that.
Starting point is 01:03:13 Whoa. Like, again, there's something timely about these things. Even Soul, which I think maybe I would have been more harshly critical of pre-pandemic in the pandemic. What? You think so? This is so, no, I can, I like soul.
Starting point is 01:03:27 I might've been more critical in a world where, you know, we probably would've had a similar summer despite the pandemic, right? So tensions are high and there's a lot to consider about black representation and art, but like, my God, anything that's gonna make me feel some kind of joy or light or feels just remotely better than the previous representation we've had.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I'm like, give it a hall pass. Like, I can't critique it too harshly because I just need this level of joy and content in this time. So maybe- I totally feel what you're talking about. A little bit has changed. I appreciate certain things a little bit more,
Starting point is 01:04:01 but for the most part, no, I'm watching and consuming the same way I did before. But when you hear people say certain things a little bit more, but for the most part, no, I'm watching and consuming the same thing I did before. But when you hear people say certain things like, you know, hurtful things in media and it doesn't affect you more, like it affects me way more now because I feel like everybody is well aware, like, okay, I just saw something recently where a young lady is going crazy over her phone, accusing a young black kid of stealing her phone, right? And it really angered me, because it was like, wait, hold on now,
Starting point is 01:04:36 you know what's going on, there's a better way to do this, dude. What you're doing right now isn't the right way. There's a better way to handle all of this. You know, what's what climate this is, what's going on right now. And you're not even paying. You don't give a fuck. And that pisses me off.
Starting point is 01:04:53 You know what I mean? When I see like that, really media, that's something somebody like captured, right? Like that's not, but it's turned into media though. You know what I mean? It's now turned into something to invoke. I didn't say much broader conversation Which I don't a thousand percent disagree with you, but it's a much better conversation than what they could tackle here I I think I've always been sensitive to that stuff
Starting point is 01:05:15 Like I mean if you're gonna come yelling at children who are just being kids like I've always found Right I don't get it. What about you Daniel? I've always found that the right. I don't get it. What about you, Daniel? I think, you know, inherently, one thing that has affected my media watching is just the climate of the world from a health standpoint. Every movie or thing that I watched from the past, I just look at and be like, can you believe all those people are so close together?
Starting point is 01:05:38 Can you believe that we were just so accepting of like this or that or the other thing? You know, one thing I saw, one I saw recently people, someone on Twitter was saying, Can you believe that we all just like went bowling, like sticking your fingers into the bowling ball that someone else you have no idea that we all just did that and then ate our chicken fingers and right after that fall. So I think you know, anytime I watch something from a year ago and beyond, there's that and that's definitely going on in the back of my head and going forward, I will definitely be considering that and the safety of everybody around in production.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Do you think movie should be conscious of that? Do you think movies should go back to the way they were before compared to what's going on now. Like should movies tackle the fact that corona happened and sanitizing your hand and washing your hands? And you know what I mean? Cause when you go and watch a movie and somebody does that, the whole audience is gonna be like, oh my God, so fucking gross.
Starting point is 01:06:38 No, I know. It's a question because I'm hoping to shoot my film this coming summer. And I don't plan to address COVID at all, because I imagine it will come out a year from the summer, and with God willing, universe willing, COVID will be tackled. And I don't want my film to be like, oh, it's a COVID movie. But yeah, it's weird. You think of like, you know, you think of shooting something. I agree. Everything I watch now, I'm like, Oh my God, we want we were watching the show called,
Starting point is 01:07:09 uh, every, uh, somebody feed Phil. I don't know if you ever seen it's really fun food show and he's like literally sharing a fork with a stranger. And, uh, we, we, everyone, we just like when the room gasped, we were like, Oh my God. Just really quickly on that very point, I think sometimes the best movies exist in a world where the situation of the world isn't the focus. It just happens to exist in that world. I think you think about Cloverfield, the monster movie Cloverfield, tried to do a good job of telling a story
Starting point is 01:07:43 in a world where a monster movie is happening rather than making the movie about the monster. Maybe not the best example, but I think as we see movies going forward, there will be movies that exist in the time of COVID. But if there are movies that are about COVID, it's just gonna be contrived and boring and lame. But seeing a movie that exists in this world
Starting point is 01:08:02 that's about something else, I'm interested to see how that's... Yeah. ...because that was a part of life. And so how they decided to tackle that in film and the media, I'm interested. They made a comment in that other podcast about how they were watching old episodes of Magnum PI. And the guy was like, Jason was like, everyone in that show is dealing with Vietnam, you know, years and years later. And his thought was like, you're gonna have like a character dealing with the pandemic, like what was going on
Starting point is 01:08:27 in their life during the pandemic? I don't know, I thought it was kind of an interesting thought. But I agree, Zach, you're not gonna make a COVID film necessarily, right? Somebody will. Somebody will. And I think also they'll do both things. Some will make a film about plenty of movies about COVID,
Starting point is 01:08:43 but then like in your Magnum PI analogy, they'll be art of all types, whether it's a PI show or a little dark indie, where COVID is a character. Just the trauma, the emotional trauma of what's happened to the earth for what will be two years or more, I think is gonna be something a lot of artists make art about. 100%. All right, Cam, what's your next question for the group?
Starting point is 01:09:13 Well, that was actually my other question was, do you see art changing? All of you are in different types of, obviously, art. And I know there's obviously the low hanging flute, like fruit, like I assume like, you know, dance floors for DJs are not gonna be completely filled maybe, but do you see it changing coming out of this on the other side because of two or two and a half years
Starting point is 01:09:34 of being in it? I never really thought about that. I don't think, I think, I think eventually people will go back to nightclubs and people will go back to theaters. I don't think any of that's dying that quick a death. People love dance, people love to go see movies together. People like me are obsessed with live theater.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Wait, hold on. Let me get this straight, Zach, you feel like the movie theater is gonna make a comeback again? I think the movie theater as an experience for blockbusters is going to outlive us. Okay. I do think that the idea, even I, who love movies,
Starting point is 01:10:08 when I see the trailer, I go, I'll wait till it to be on my big screen TV, because I don't, it's not a film that, for me, I want the theatrical experience. But then, 1917 came out, I actually watched the screener because I had the award screener for it. And I went, holy shit, I have done this film a disservice. I want to go see it on a big ass screen. So I think they'll always be, at least for our lifetime, an experience that someone can go have and go see a movie on a big screen.
Starting point is 01:10:40 I think that the business they'll do for smaller films that aren't about spectacle will dwindle. Yeah, it's just, I have a hard time thinking that people will go back to theaters and I hope they do go back to theaters. I don't wanna jinx this, but it's just, that's one of the dirtiest places you can go as far as hygiene goes.
Starting point is 01:11:01 You go to the bed, like when you sit down and the arm rests next to you. Well, COVID will be tackled. I mean, how long is the question, but it will be conquered. Okay, well, it needs to be, I mean, listen, and I hate to get political. I don't wanna get political about this because I don't think this is a political statement.
Starting point is 01:11:21 But 100 million vaccines shipped to the U.S. How many people have been inoculated? How many people have received a COVID vaccine? A million people. Okay, so one million out of a hundred million. Out of 300 million. I see where you're going though, because the thing is what I did read earlier today is that like at the current rate that we're that we're giving out the vaccine, we're not going
Starting point is 01:11:42 to give out the vaccine in total for 10 years. If we wanted to be given it. That's what I'm trying to tell you, man. Right. I know, but okay, but in defense of human beings and global logistics, I think that it will begin, if you looked at the graph, it's gonna start picking, I mean, not to be political, but of course I have a feeling when Biden takes over,
Starting point is 01:12:04 there might be a few smarter people in the room to, uh, to kick up the distribution. But, but even if it wasn't, even, even if everyone in this current administration were well intentioned and doing their best at a hundred percent, it's still a pretty massive undertaking to, to, to give the COVID vaccine to 300 million people. Yeah, it's going gonna be an enormous undertaking. Also just to correct because people will undoubtedly come at us.
Starting point is 01:12:28 It's 2.1 million people as of the recording, 2.1 million people in the US have received their COVID. And we've gotten on, so let's make sure we're clear on that. If you, like I said, I don't wanna offend anybody by my numbers. These are the things that before I would just be like, fuck it, I don't give a fuck about facts.
Starting point is 01:12:44 But nowadays it's very important. You're absolutely right. Yeah. These are the things before I would just be like, fuck it. It's such a such a such a talking about fuck about facts. Nowadays, it's very important. You're absolutely right. To Zach's point, you're going to want to see a horror film in a theater again. It's not the same watching a horror movie at home by yourself. You're like, oh, it's kind of scary. But when you hear 300 people gasp in a movie theater, nothing is replacing that presence. How will that be packaged, delivered, and sold to us
Starting point is 01:13:06 is gonna change drastically. My guess is we're gonna see a spike in low-ink, like the dollar theaters and things like that that are cheap and running very old movies and things like that. And then we'll see, obviously, a hike in the very expensive. You can get booze and food items and things delivered and there are smells in the air.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Whatever they can do to sensationalize and get more money, because theaters are going to have to adjust post pandemic, but they will adjust, they'll still have audiences. All right, here's a great example, Joelle, if you had to go to, if you went to the movie theaters to see Wonder Woman 1985, which would be piss, whatever it was,
Starting point is 01:13:38 when you walked out, wouldn't you be pissed off? Well, no, I went to see, I understand that sometimes movies are gonna be bad. I'm a movie theater goer. Again, I don't know, I'm that sometimes movies are going to be bad. I'm a movie theater goer. Again, I don't know. I'm probably a biased person. I'm a film critic, so I really have to pay for a movie. But even when I do, I'm like, I go in for the experience of like, I came to see a movie
Starting point is 01:13:54 and Wonder Woman to Zach's earlier point gives you so much to talk about. You could critique that movie 7,000 different ways. So many things to discuss. It ain't cats though, man. It ain't as bad as like like you know what I'm saying like I think the thing that's the thing that's killed me. Right that's what I'm trying to say. By the way Kristen Wigg was a cat I was expecting her to be like James Corden comes falling down you know whatever it's cool Little Stu, he is a curious beast.
Starting point is 01:14:25 James, James Corden comes falling down, you know, whatever, it's cool. The person who put Kristen Wiig in a movie and did not allow her one opportunity to be funny needs a hand slap. Yeah. Babe. Yeah babe. Do you think they can hear us?
Starting point is 01:14:39 Yeah, those are mics. Guys, we are back. We are so excited. It is season two of your favorite New Girl Rewatch podcast. We have got a new season, we got a new name, and we got a brand new episode every week starting July 2nd. Yeah, I am so excited for you folks
Starting point is 01:14:55 to check out this mess around. When I say it's gonna get weird, I mean, it's gonna get weird. Just save it for the show. Okay, that's probably for the best. We've got some of your favorite people from the New Girl universe. We've got the creator and show runner, Liz Merriwether.
Starting point is 01:15:06 We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We also have some of your least favorites, like Jake Johnson. Lamour. No, no, I'm just saying, like, if you're listing off your favorites, like he'd be- Lamour! He's still a favorite.
Starting point is 01:15:17 He just, Hannah, what's up? We do have Jake Johnson, though. Yeah. Listen to the mess around on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Katie Loes. And I'm Guillermo Diaz. And now we're back with another season of our podcast, Unpacking the Toolbox, where Guillermo and I will be rewatching the show.
Starting point is 01:15:36 To officially unpack season three of Scandal. Unpredictable, you don't see it coming. It's a wild, wild ride that twists and turns in season three. Mesmerizing. But also we get to hang out with all of our old scandal friends like Bellamy Young, Scott Foley, Tony Goldwyn, Debbie Allen, Kerry Washington So many people! Even more shocking assassinations from Papa and Mama Pope And yes, Katie and I's famous teeth pulling scene that kicks off a romance And it was Peak TV.
Starting point is 01:16:05 This is new scandal content for your eyes, for your ears, for your hearts, for your minds. Well suit up gladiators, grab your big old glass of wine and prepare yourselves for even more behind the scenes. Listen to Unpacking the Toolbox on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. the iHeartRadioApp Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage.
Starting point is 01:16:41 I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is. I think he was like, oh yeah, things come and go, but with me, it never came and went. Is she Donna Martin or a down and out divorcee? Is she living in Beverly Hills or a trailer park? In a town where the lines are blurred, Tori is finally going to clear the air in the podcast Miss Spelling.
Starting point is 01:17:06 When a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain. I just filed for divorce. Whoa, I said the words that I've said like in my head for like 16 years. Wild. Listen to Miss Spelling on the iHeartRad radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, Cam, how can we? It's time for everyone's favorite segment in South Carolina, especially. It's time to...
Starting point is 01:17:42 Fix your life. Cam, we're here for you. How can we help you? It's time to fix your life! Cam, we're here for you. How can we help you? We are professional therapists. Yeah, I don't... Well, it's... you're talking to three professional therapists and Donald. Yeah. Go ahead. I value your judgment, Donald. For good or bad. If it's about weed or Star Wars, we haven't...
Starting point is 01:18:04 I got you. Well, I don't want to be on too long. Uh, so I hate to go down the rabbit hole of always asking the love questions, but, uh, and as my sister's sex next to me, Oh, it's our specialty. It's our specialty. I'm sure she's going to roll her eyes, but, uh, Is your sister next to you?
Starting point is 01:18:23 Yeah, she's right here. Oh, hi sister. What's up sister? That's my sister Caroline. Here again. So I'm 37, I'm the middle child. My sister is younger, I have an older brother as well. They are both married and have not one, but two kids.
Starting point is 01:18:38 The second one is on the way for both of them. So I'm the lone single sibling left in the family. And not that there's a lot of pressure from the parents or from other family members, but some. And I guess my roundabout question is, I don't know if some of them feel like I'm too picky sometimes with finding a girl. And then I guess it's like-
Starting point is 01:18:57 It's for the rest of your life, dude. Yeah, man. So I know. And I say that because there's this idea of like, when you know, you know, and everybody has their story, right? That whatever it may be,
Starting point is 01:19:08 I feel like when people get married or when they get together, they're like, it never would have happened because of this and this. And I feel like I've had those moments, but then it hasn't been doubt. So I'm like, is that a real moment? Was I fooling myself? Was I not?
Starting point is 01:19:20 So I guess that's the idea a little bit, if that's a question at all. I guess that when you know, you know, is a true statement, maybe, but I just, am I too picky? No, I don't think there's such thing as too picky, but you got to realize that it's a two-way street. So where you're picky and your cup of tea might present itself, you might not necessarily be that person's cup of tea. So, um... But also, can I say something?
Starting point is 01:19:50 You, we all are subscribing to this societal construct that there's something wrong with you if you're your age and you haven't found your person yet. And I think step one is you have to just let that bullshit go. Yeah. It's because of kids though, man. It's because of kids.
Starting point is 01:20:09 Okay. Okay. But you know what? And that's the only reason though. Because you- It's all shit, dude. When you get older, it's maybe a little bit more difficult to have kids, and that's the only reason why, buddy. Listen, let me just say my thoughts. Just as you were programmed, I'm sure that this was the right religion for our family, and this is what we believe, and look, there's a book that says it all, and these are the rules,
Starting point is 01:20:30 and XYZ happens if you're good, and ABC happens if you're bad. You were also programmed that by age 30, you better be married and be thinking about having kids, and you better stay with that person for the rest of your life. And I just think a good starting point for the conversation is just as, I don't know if you're religious or not, but just as Donald and I, for example, are secular and chose not to subscribe to that aspect of what we were fed, you can also say, guess what? What if my path is that I continue leading the life that I have with enjoyment, I continue dating, and holy shit, what if I find true love at 45? What if I'm... What if I have a kid... By the way, I have a good friend who
Starting point is 01:21:14 had started having kids at 50. I've never seen the guy happier in his whole existence, you know, Gary, Donald. So you don't know what's coming for you. Now we can give you strategies for some ideas on how to up your chances of meeting the person, but I think the first step would be letting go of like, I'm in the wrong because of what society tells me I'm supposed to be doing. Yeah, and coming from the South, I feel like it was like, all right, you graduated from high school. You go to college for four years. You graduate from college, you get the job,
Starting point is 01:21:49 you get the white picket fence. And yeah, by 30, it's all in line, and I'm way past that. And it's been a, I understand, Zach, and it's a tough thing to let go of. But in the back of my mind, it like, you know, gnaws at you a little bit every time. What's happening is that every day,
Starting point is 01:22:03 you're telling yourself there's something wrong with you. And also that white picket fence fairy tale is of the past, man. That shit doesn't exist. Yeah, who the fuck wants a white picket fence? Nobody wants that shit no more. Not me. Right.
Starting point is 01:22:14 No, I mean, literally and figuratively, who the fuck wants that? No one. I think they're ugly. I actually have a, I actually have a old weathered one. They're beautiful weathered. I just don't like them painted white. Now, that's my speech on that. That's just my two cents because obviously it's coming
Starting point is 01:22:32 from a place that I've thought a lot about because I'm 45, I have a girlfriend I'm in love with, but I'm 45 and haven't done any of the white picket fence of it all. And when I do hear the chattering in my ear. You have done one thing that is very, and I think, you know what it is? I have a home and a dog.
Starting point is 01:22:50 You've put together quite a career, and that's part of the white picket finch fairy tale. And I think, and I'm gonna be honest with you, I think that is part of the reason why so many people nowadays are having a hard time finding the person that they're looking for, or the person that they think is out there for them, their perfect person. You have to focus on yourself.
Starting point is 01:23:17 If you're on, listen, I've been in that relationship where it was like, let's make this work because maybe we can be happy if we make, no man, you have to be happy first to be able to make someone else happy. You can't be a miserable person and then, and expect to find happiness in someone else. It doesn't work that way. That's not how it works. Regardless of what, regardless of what the movie says and everything like that, that's
Starting point is 01:23:43 not how it goes. Yeah. Who you're being. You have to be confident in yourself first. And then those things happen. And I think you're already there. And so I don't think the problem is whether you want to, why me? Why hasn't it happened for me yet? I don't think you're ready for it yet. I think if you wanted it, you could go get that shit.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Anybody could go get that shit if you wanted it. Well, I think what he's saying, Donald, is'm sure cam, especially in that onesie could go, could go on dates and, and, and new chicks to hook up with. But the onesie and the mustache make you look fire. Listen, cam, I'm sure what cam or the cops get called. What I think was happening is that cam, um, not with my face on your body. Cam, if you want these things, I'm sure you're dating or not COVID, but pre COVID, I'm sure you were dating, right? Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:33 And are you on any of the apps? It's a love hate relationship. So some some months, yes, some months, no. Yeah, yeah. I can tell you that. That of course you got to be, you got to be on the field. You know, I can tell you that, um, that of course you gotta be, you gotta be on the field, you know, you can't be in the stands. You gotta be playing the game. Right. Um, because if you're, if you're not,
Starting point is 01:24:52 I mean nowadays, you know, people don't want to go lean on a bar and yell to a stranger, I like your skirt. You can actually have a chance to, to kind of get to know someone a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. You're just sitting there giggling at me. Did you fucking hit that weed during our break? Did you hit the weed? No, man.
Starting point is 01:25:13 I wouldn't paint during the break. I don't know about you about fucking hitting the blunt during breaks. Listen, I want you to be... I'm going to be 100% honest with you. There will never be a time ever when we're making this podcast where while we're making it, I'm smoking weed. Unless we all agree that we're smoking weed during the podcast. By the way, let's commit. I was going to say, I'm about to clip that.
Starting point is 01:25:33 Hold on. Hold on. That shows the wrong time to get on. No, listen, we should move. Once we're all injected and we're safe, I think we should do an episode where we get together in the same room and get high as balls and do the show. Yes, please. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:51 That's fine with me. It won't be any different for me. It'll just be different for y'all. Okay. All right. Sorry, but back to Cam. Can I be in Donald's closet? No.
Starting point is 01:25:59 We can hotbox this motherfucker. My wife might be mad, but we can hotbox this motherfucker. Well, maybe because the kids will be back at school. Cam, one thing I just want to say is that you have to know that it takes work to sustain a relationship. It's not just like... I think one thing negative that's coming out of the apps is that everyone's just pulling the roulette wheel... Sorry. I think everyone's pulling the one-armed bandit.
Starting point is 01:26:25 What do you call that thing? Slot machine? Yeah. Everyone's like, oh, okay, okay, oh, cool. She's cool. Yeah, we had a good day. Oh, I'm liking her. Oh, she smokes. Drink next. Oh, da-da-da-da-da.
Starting point is 01:26:35 Oh, she was kind of obnoxious to, you know, I'm like, my point is people are pulling the slot machine so quickly being like, thank you you next, as Ariana Grande said. Very good. And whereas if you are in pursuit of a committed relationship, it does take patience and giving something time to brew. Yeah, I've been guilty of that on some dates,
Starting point is 01:27:01 so I understand what you're saying. I'm sure. There may be girls you went on a date with and one thing negative happened and you're saying. So I'm sure there may be girls you went on a date with and one thing negative happened and you're like, fuck this. And that girl could have been fucking amazing. She might have had a bad night. Right, Donald. Donald, you remember, it's like I, I, I, I was just thinking about that. Or you might have
Starting point is 01:27:22 had a bad night and second chance, you know what I mean? Like that's That's the thing the first impression shit is it's it's You always hear the story of well, the first impression was horrible. But the second impression that's when I knew I liked the person With these app things now, you're right. It is why I. I don't know, but I imagine that it would be, with my kids at least, Swipe, Swipe, Swipe. Such and such. And it's like everybody's reading attributes.
Starting point is 01:27:55 Nope, next. And when did you ever have that? Thank you, next, thank you, next. When did you ever have that? I'm so fucking grateful for my ex. Sorry. Right, but when did you ever have that? Sorry, right, but when did you ever have that? that Capability you had to get to know somebody before all of that and sometimes when you got to know somebody
Starting point is 01:28:12 You were able to dismiss some of the attributes that you're doing, you know what I mean? And so that's the one thing that's a little bit crazy about the the the the the state of dating nowadays this computer age this app age. It just seems like there's a little bit of a disconnect because you're doing it through the wires of the computer. You're getting to know each other that way. I know, but I do think it's... I'm very pro... I think, you know, Daniel is one person, I have another friend. I'm very... Oh, I know a lot of people that have that on very, I've seen people really find true love through it.
Starting point is 01:28:47 So I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm just saying there are steps that are, you know what I mean? Whereas you had to make an effort just to see each other and talk to each other before. Now it's typing it on the phone. Try match. Try match, Cam, because that seems to be the one I keep hearing works for people. And you know, Tinder, you know, I think it's just for people looking to hook up. And I don't really know about the other ones because I've never been on them.
Starting point is 01:29:10 But I- You've never been on Bumble? I've never been on any of that shit. Cam, I recommend Match because I feel like that one, I seem to have a lot of people, they should advertise with this because I've heard a lot of people have success with that one. But anyway, Cam, the point is you got to put in the time and don't just, especially now during the pandemic, there's no reason you can't be like laying foundation and flirting and getting yourself out
Starting point is 01:29:33 there. Yeah, I think that putting in time is a good way. I recommend an OnlyFans page, Cam. Yeah, also don't be afraid to start just in the onesie. Yeah, just in the onesie. Only onesie. Donald, do you realize that every guest that comes on you recommend they get an only fans account Well, I think that you're turning our guests into Only if you're my Donald only my first subscribe my first subscriber only if it's Donald only if it's free. I Don't think Yeah, you can oh Oh, you can.
Starting point is 01:30:06 They're free. I've done my research about this. I know. I clearly have. Only thing about OnlyFans. No, I looked when What's Your Name got it and made all that money. I was curious. I was like, what is this?
Starting point is 01:30:15 Did you subscribe? No, I wasn't going to give her money, but I was. That was the thing. Did you subscribe to OnlyFans? She was the first person. What's her name? What's that girl's name? Bella Thorne.
Starting point is 01:30:23 Bella Thorne was the first person that made me go, what the fuck is this? And I looked it up, but I didn't change it. Did you subscribe to OnlyFans though? No, did you? I haven't subscribed to OnlyFans. I have not even, like, listen, I'm gonna be honest with you, man. There are a bunch of people in,
Starting point is 01:30:39 I just spit on my camera, look at that shit, that shit. That's fine, didn't see that. We gotta. There are a bunch of people on Instagram that have OnlyFans, and male and female. And I'm like, why would you get a OnlyFans? I don't understand, you know what I mean? And then I heard about the money you can make.
Starting point is 01:30:57 Why? And it's like, yeah, and then it's like, wait a second. You could make some money on OnlyFans. Yeah, people wanna see naughty shit. I mean, that's just discrimination. They don't necessarily have to do naughty Yes, you do. You have to like beat off, but you have to like show Something I got I got a show. I got a show junk. I
Starting point is 01:31:13 think Well, no, you know What are people paying for if they're not seeing the problem? Here's the problem is that people like celebrities are like, oh, I'm doing an OnlyFans, and everyone's like, oh, Naughty Bits, dope, I will pay $100 for that photo. And then they get the photo, and you can see that on Instagram, and you're like, what the hell did I just spend $100 for?
Starting point is 01:31:35 So you can go on there and post whatever you want, but customer satisfaction varies. Right, but you haven't answered my question, Joelle, which is, what am I seeing on OnlyFans as a satisfied customer that doesn't involve nudity? Nothing. Nothing, okay. I mean, it wasn't intentionally designed for this.
Starting point is 01:31:53 Originally it was supposed to be for artists and stuff. Yeah, but they said they were gonna have to take some sex to this. And made it great. No matter what anyone invents, they're like, okay, now how can we use it for sex? It's just like Patreon, and Patreon also has this as well. There are people who sell, you know, sex work on Patreon.
Starting point is 01:32:10 It's just OnlyFans became something that seemed more for that. Yeah. But even so, their platforms are almost identical. I feel like, you know. What is it? Two birds with one stone? Yeah. OnlyFans, you're meeting people, meeting new people. No, I don't think he should go on OnlyFans. And two, you're making money.
Starting point is 01:32:32 So let's just get down to it. Don't take his advice. It's the American way. Oh, God. All right. On that note, Cam, you are welcome. You're welcome. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:32:44 I hope that you'll, when you finally meet someone that you have some stronger feelings for than just the hookup, I hope you'll let us know and check in. Definitely. And I do think that you should use this, this opportunity, this moment that you were on the podcast,
Starting point is 01:32:58 wearing our faces on you as a means of hooking up with your new lady. If there's like any girl out there that you wanna talk to right now, if you... I don't mind putting pressure on you, Cam. No, you don't wanna... I'll do what your sister and your brother... No, you don't wanna...
Starting point is 01:33:12 You don't wanna... That's okay. You don't wanna call out anyone's specific name in South Carolina. We call out our bar. We call out our bar. You know who you are, girl. This will just be a good story for a date, right? Right, sing out.
Starting point is 01:33:23 This is a great story. Boom. Boom. By the way, and by the way, and this is how you end the story you go and and then and then after they gave me that advice All I could think about was you Mike drop mic drop Mike drop Now I just used it man. Mrs. Cam doesn't fucking listen to this podcast. If they're going to work out, then she probably does, man. They probably have that in common, the podcast is what's going to bring them together. She
Starting point is 01:33:54 listens to the office podcast. We fixed Cam's... No, man. She listens to this problems podcast. All right, we got to go because I have to pee and we've really done the show. Cam, you can stay for the end because we pretty much did the show. It's a weird one, but we laughed. I appreciate it. Can I just say- Carla wanted to go on a date. Real quick, real quick.
Starting point is 01:34:11 I appreciate y'all. Joelle mentioned Ted Lasso earlier, but this podcast definitely came wrong at the right time for me, obviously right when the pandemic started and for my mental health has been a blessing every week. I thought a lot about Jimmy V and what he said in one of his speeches on ESPN about you should laugh, think and have your emotions move to tears every day and it's a full day.
Starting point is 01:34:32 And this podcast definitely does those three things for me every time I listen. I appreciate all of y'all. I appreciate that. Listen, there is no better compliment, Cam. And if you're out there and we are making you laugh and I can't tell you, there's no thing that makes Donald There is no better compliment cam and if you're out there and we are making you laugh and um, and I I can't tell you there's no thing that makes donald and I and i'm sure joelle and daniel
Starting point is 01:34:50 But I can I can definitely speak for donald and I nothing makes us happier than hearing somebody say that so absolutely It's also just for selfish purposes must you know, just for this You're right cam like just for us to be able to get together you know, just for this, you're right, Cam, like just for us to be able to get together once, twice a week and talk to each other, you know, and this time, I don't see a lot of people and I, you know, I was starting to hang out with Zach again, and then, you know, we got locked down and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:35:17 So I definitely appreciate what you're talking about, Cam. I totally feel you, man. Cool, thanks, man. All right, everybody, thank you for listening and we'll be back with more soon. Wait, so, but before we go last week, we did in 5678 and people got pissed, I think.
Starting point is 01:35:32 Okay. I think we did. But I trust I did not. We did. All right. So Donald, do you want me to do it? Because I've been a while since I did it. Get your mouth ready. Let me warm up. Maybe by Bobo baby, baby by Bobo the lips to tip it in the tongue the lips to tip the teeth the tongue whether it be cold or whether it be hot will be because I've been a while since I did it. Get your mouth ready. Let me warm up. OK. Bibbidi bibbidi bibbidi bibbo boo. The lips, the tip of the teeth, and the tongue. The lips, the tip of the teeth, and the tongue.
Starting point is 01:35:48 Whether it be cold or whether it be hot, we'll be together whenever, whether we like it or not. Whether we like it or not. Brrrr. Do you sit in solemn silence? All right, I'm ready. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Five, six, seven, eight.
Starting point is 01:35:58 There's some stories about a show we made, about a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved me Guys, we are back. We are so excited. It is season two of your favorite New Girl Rewatch podcast. We have got a new season. We got a new name. We've got some of your favorite people from the New Girl universe. We've got the creator and show runner Liz Merriwether. We got the Max Greenfield, Olivia Munn. We also have some of your least favorites like Jake Johnson. Lamorne. Hannah, what's up? We do have some of your least favorites, like Jake Johnson. Lamorne. Hannah, what's up?
Starting point is 01:36:46 We do have Jake Johnson though. Yeah. Listen to the mess around on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.
Starting point is 01:37:03 Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson RosRosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, host of the hit podcast, Family Secrets. Imagine this, your parents sign away your childhood to an academic psychological study. And what about if your sister is very publicly tried,
Starting point is 01:37:37 convicted, and sent to prison, when really she was just telling her long-buried truths? These tough questions are just a few that we'll be grappling with on our upcoming tenth season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 10 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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