Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 405: Her Story with Bill Lawrence
Episode Date: February 11, 2021On this week's episode, Elliot takes over the narration while she struggles to define her relationship with Molly. In the real world Bill Lawrence is back and Charlotte Lawrence makes her FDRF podcast... debut. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from
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I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast,
Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks
tell their own stories
in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about
growing up in political battleground states.
We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard
they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with
Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family,
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everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hey, it's Alec Baldwin.
This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing,
I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers,
and so many other fascinating people,
like jazz bassist Christian McBride.
Jazz is based on improvisation, but there's very much a form to it.
You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes.
So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say, OK, talk about this.
Listen to the new season of Here's the Thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Joelle, you got a puppy.
Let's see it.
Okay, hold up.
Please.
I need wrinkles.
I need pink belly.
You have a nice kitchen, Joelle.
Yeah.
Oh, look at that cute little puppy.
Look at that cute little puppy. Look at that cute little puppy.
So adorable.
Oh, my goodness.
Does that puppy got Pitbull in it?
Of course.
It's a rescue.
Yeah.
Well, mine's a Staffy, which is kind of like Pitbull.
Yep.
She's a Pitmix.
She's cute.
We love her.
She's so cute, Joelle.
I'm so happy for you it's crazy how pit bull was so popular for
so long and then became like a it's such that that breed of dog is such a it was bred with so many
things for so many other dogs so much that every rescue pretty much almost every rescue you find
has a pit uh mix in it somewhere down the line.
It's crazy.
Like, they'll be like, I don't know what it is.
Probably has pit in it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, there are a ton of them.
Well, it's beautiful, Joelle.
What's his or her name?
Her name is Lions.
Lions.
Lions.
Which is the name the adoption company had, but it's also the name of my great-great-grandmother.
It's her maiden name.
So yeah.
We kept our
the rescue
name for our dog
as well
because it was
Billy and she just
seemed like a Billy.
Yeah.
She's cute.
She is a Billy.
That's really awesome.
I thought you were
saying lions like
rebel uh.
We'll take that, too.
Mark the time.
First Star Wars reference.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the show.
It's a very funny episode.
I laughed my ass off during this episode.
I laughed a lot, too.
I'm going to be honest with the fans, though.
I'm glad you liked what Daniel and I did, but that can't be like all the time.
Why?
It's all everyone's talking about.
Why can't you bring the heat time why it's all everyone's talking about why can't you bring
the heat again because come on man we gotta keep you know you give them a little taste just a taste
bro my whole instagram feed is every comment is like donald's rap was fire
daniel's beat was amazing what's wrong with you bro we gotta give the fans what they want
is this just because you didn't take the time and
write a good one i wrote something i wrote something but if it's whack it's not gonna
make the show i know but fucking daniel's beat too daniel you should release that track so other
people can rap off of it do you feel like kathy kennedy in a sense that people have really really
loved something that you've made,
and now you have to follow it up and build on the hype.
That's a great analogy.
I thought you'd be happy about that analogy, IQ.
That is probably one of the best analogies ever.
Is that what your nerves are about?
Are you having a cathe?
Yeah.
Now I put the pressure on myself.
I got to give the fans what they want, right?
Yes, exactly, bro.
I got to give the fans what they want, right? Listen, I, bro. I got to give the fans what they want, right?
Listen, I've never—
All right, let's get it going then!
We're waiting for William.
Where is he?
Okay, I'll let him in.
Bill is here, everybody.
Daniel, let him in.
Thunderous applause.
Thunderous applause, Daniel.
Turn your key.
Bill Lawrence.
Woo!
Welcome back.
Woo!
Yes, Bill.
Bill, you're in a new environment, Bill, I see.
I'm in my daughter Charlotte's home,
and she is rehearsing in the background for some gig of hers,
but I'm sure she'll poke her head in and thank you, too.
She told me you always play her songs, and she's very grateful.
We did.
By the way, we can't stop playing the last one in this house.
It's on all the time. We work out to it. We try and sing along to it. It's very great. We did. We just played. By the way, we can't stop playing the last one in this house. It's on all the time.
We work out to it.
We try and sing along to it.
It's so good.
I'm going to answer the same way I answer when people say that your podcast is so good, even though I have nothing to do with it. I just go, thank you.
Well, listen, Bill, you might not have heard the last episode, but Donald did a rap version of the summary of the show that was so amazing that it's all everyone's talking about.
And Daniel made a really, really cool beat to it.
Really cool.
Daniel put beats to it.
You did.
I appreciate that.
That shit was fire.
Yeah, it was really good, really good.
I appreciate that. So much like a showrunner who has to make his second season really, really good after everyone loves the first,
Donald now has to keep his second dope rap as good as the first.
Are you ready, Donald?
Oh, man, that's high pressure.
High pressure.
He gave me the Kathleen Kennedy jump off.
Like, I got to – gosh.
I said picture your Kathleen Kennedy trying to make another one.
All right, here you go.
Ready?
All right, you got this. Hit it, Daniel.
Hey, yo.
You know
how this song goes, I can't do this
on my own. Well, JD passes
the mic and Elliot sets the tone.
Keeping it real, she's more
together than I thought. And Turk
and JD are the cutest
cause they bought two Two tape recorder,
Carla maintains order and ends all games like it was the fourth quarter. Bridges get burnt,
lessons get learned for what it's worth. JD can't command his interns if it's not for Papa Smurf.
Dollar Bill's on the show. Let's all dive in. Yo, here we go. If you don't already,
it's time to act like you know. I hope like Tony the Tiger, the show here we go. If you don't already, it's time to act like, you know.
I hope like Tony the Tiger, the show will be great.
Yo, Bill, hit him with that.
Five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made
about a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved it.
I said here's the stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
That was incredible, Donald.
You really raised the bar.
Buddy, when I wrote that rap, I never thought you would execute it that way.
I'm glad it made the show. I'm glad it made the show.
I'm glad it made the show, Bill.
Hey, Bill, I'm glad you're here for this one.
It's really funny.
I really laughed a lot about this one.
I laughed a lot, too.
You know, Sarah does a great job.
She does.
Yeah, I know.
If I had known earlier, I would have had a lot more leverage over Zach back then.
Just going like, hey, this can be Sarah's voiceover.
Just like that, dude.
You did say shit like that to me all the time.
You'd be like, you know, you can always have a new intern come in that door.
He was such a dick to me.
I never said that to Donald.
Donald, I never said that to you, right?
I never said anything like that to you, did I, Donald?
There was that one time where you were like, Jaleel White?
No.
That is not true.
That is not true.
I'm joking.
I'm joking.
I'm joking.
By the way, Sarah's, we should give her a shout out.
Her show is number one on Netflix, Firefly Lane.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody check out Fire, that's what it's called, right, Joelle?
Yes.
Firefly Lane.
Everybody check out Sarah's show.
It's really, really popular. It's called Firefly and Bugs? Firefly and B Everybody check out Sarah's show. It's really, really popular.
It's called Firefly and Bugs?
Firefly and Bugs or something?
Something like Firefly Blaine
to Blaine. And we all know
to Blaine.
Firefly Lane.
The kids seem to love it.
I'm so happy for her, man. She's so great.
Yeah, me too. And
anyway, you're right don she did
such a funny job with this voiceover and um i don't know the episode just had me you know some
you know some you laugh at more than others by the way bill what's the common story i know was
he dating the writer of this episode angela nissel because why is common it wasn't famous yet right
no comments but he wasn't wow no but he wasn't huge yet but right? No, Common's been famous for a while. No, but he wasn't huge yet,
but he was very,
he was very established though in,
you know,
hip hop and rap community.
And yes,
Angela is friends with him and had known him and said,
my friend Common can do this,
but I forgot about it.
And you know,
me being me,
I didn't know who Common was back then.
And occasionally when I go back and see the show,
I'm like,
wait a second.
It was very cool.
It caught me off guard. Cause I, I like, we just had the Carrie brothers one and I was like, Oh yeah, I remember Carrie did the show. I'm like, wait a second. It was very cool. They caught me off guard because
we just had the Carey Brothers one
and I was like, oh yeah, I remember Carey did the show.
And then I'm like, is that common?
No doubt.
And then immediately following
that, they do Snoop and Dre's
Still Dre, her and Molly. Elliot and
Molly do Still Dre,
which is, and
Turk doesn't know. This pissed me off.
I was so upset.
I know, man.
It hurt your heart when we shot that.
I was going to say, was it hard for you to act like you didn't understand the rap?
For the joke, it's really funny because in the African-American community,
malnourishment, that's hilarious and ho-hos.
That shit had me rolling.
That shit was, that was very funny.
But it hurt my heart to be like how do i not know still hitting
them corners in them lolos girls like you know what i mean like the history i know the history
of the song like that song comes from like jay-z wrote the song wrote everything for that for uh
dr dre even wrote snoop's line still still representing all across the world, still hitting them corners
in the low lows, girl.
Jay-Z wrote all of it, put it on tape, sent it to Dre, and they did the song.
And when that came to me and it was my turn to spew my hip hop knowledge on Scrubs back
then, it hurt my heart!
It was like when
JD went to Disneyland without
Turk!
They got a rollercoaster, that rollercoaster
and a duck!
By the way, it's probably the one time you have a gleam
in your eye as an actor that you're trying
to tell the audience that this is not
you're literally like trying to signal
this is not me. literally like they're trying to signal this is not me i know what this means this is for the sake of the show it's very funny adal that was
probably your best acting moment in nine years that you had to act like you didn't know the
interpretation of the song i love that moment and i'll tell you guys something else that i love
it even before we get there.
You guys knew that we used to steal stuff from your lives and put it in the show.
Our good friend Matt Tarsus made the mistake of coming into work and saying that his wife, I think she was pregnant,
kept getting mad at him because they have hardwood floors, and she would go to bed early because she was so tired.
When he'd come in, he would squeak on the floors and wake her.
So she started making him go to bed at the same time as her.
And I was like, you have a bedtime?
You're this old.
You're an adult male and your wife gave you a bedtime?
And that became this episode.
So it makes me so happy.
Well, that sequence, both of those sequences are laugh out loud funny.
Donald, you are so funny in both times.
By the way, also, you up now?
You up now?
Firm is all time.
I feel like this is my life, though.
Turk and Carla, this is how my life is now.
Listen, I'm going to be honest with you guys.
Now, listen, I'm going to be honest with you guys.
I don't sleep in the same room as my wife anymore because I'm not a light sleeper.
I mean, I'm not a heavy sleeper.
I'm a very light sleeper, and so is she.
But I toss and turn like crazy.
Like, for some reason, I twitch, and I wake up.
And when I wake up, I have a hard time going back to sleep and stuff.
My wife can sleep if there's no movement or sound in the room.
So I am no longer allowed to sleep in the room. She kicked you out of the room.
I'm done. Yes, I'm done.
You have your own bedroom?
It's called Sofa City, baby.
Oh, my God.
I live in a – you go, Zach.
It's like those sitcom couples back in the 50s that had separate beds right next to each other.
I can't be in the same room as her.
I'm too loud.
I'm too loud.
Not even the same room.
That stuff is coming your way, Zach.
My wife –
Were you kicked out too?
A little.
But no, my wife got me – she felt that my snoring kept her awake.
I'm not going to talk about whether or not
she does anything in her sleep because that would also be massive trouble for me um and so the way
to fix it was i got this you know mouth guard that you put in around your teeth to kind of
your bottom jaw out so it's like sleeping with somebody else's hand in your mouth it's great
just like like somebody else just clutching your bottom jaw with their fingers.
I have that too.
I sleep with that too.
Does yours work for you?
You know what, Zach?
Yeah, but then I'll every once in a while just go,
I don't know if I want to wake up with an intense headache from jaw pain tomorrow,
and I will occasionally sleep downstairs because of it.
And my wife will be like, why didn't you come up here?
I'm like, I don't know.
I didn't want to wear that cast iron jaw trap
that I have to wear to sleep in the same room as you.
I love in your version, you're like, I wasn't even fitted for it.
I think Krista just somehow when I was asleep,
I woke up and it was there.
It just showed up.
Like sometimes I'll leave stuff in in like i'll accidentally leave something
in the bedroom and i'll come up and get it and if i make sound she wakes up and she's like
motherfucker you know better than this oh my god you know what you yeah so we also we also have i'm
a hot house fly i run very hot you know so, so I don't like the quote. Krista constantly goes, every book says you should sleep at 68 degrees. And I'm, I like to sleep with the temperature around 80 or 83 degrees. And so, like the other night, it was such a bad move. But she's like, I want you to sleep up here tonight. I'm like, okay. And she was already asleep. But it was 51 degrees outside and she left all the windows open in the
bedroom.
And so I knew I was supposed to sleep there and I'm trying to get to,
she's asleep and I'm trying to close the windows like a mil,
a millimeter every five seconds.
So it would just be like,
she woke up with the last one.
She's like,
what are you doing?
I'm like,
it's so cold.
It's so cold.
I got scared of Krista as you told that story.
There's nothing like the wrath of your wife if she doesn't get the sleep she wants, man.
No, man.
It's not worth it.
Because if she doesn't get sleep, then you pay for it for like two days.
It's not worth it.
It really isn't. I'm sorry to be so simple as to find fart jokes so funny.
But when you come in and you fart, and then Judy's like, come on, Turk.
And he's like, are you up?
And she's like, yeah.
Fart.
That was respectful.
I found that one respectful.
And then both times, she's still bitching at you,
and you look over, and you're sleeping.
All right.
Matt was so much different than me.
I love the fact that he was going to hold it.
He was willing to hold it if she was like, well, no, actually,
I'm going back to sleep right now.
Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty.
I'm almost asleep, man.
All right.
All right.
Let's go to the top of the show.
I laughed right when Donald slides in on the counter with his tape recorder.
Very funny.
Yes.
That was a very funny slide in, sir.
Thank you very much. I love the fact that J.D. and Turk both got tape recorders so that they could communicate.
Yeah, where did that idea come from?
They could pre-tape conversations.
recorders so that they could communicate. Yeah, where did that idea come from?
They could pre-tape conversations.
You know, we got to a point that if we could come up with anything that made you guys seem
even remotely more codependent, we did it.
Well, if it says anything about Donald and I, I'm like, oh, that would have been so much
fun.
We should have really gotten it.
I tried to match dialogue.
Well, dude, you're the one that wants the freaking sample machine.
Have you heard this, Bill?
No.
What do you mean, wants?
It's been ordered.
What are you talking about, wants?
So Fake Doctors, Real Friends is going to have a new segment soon,
and it's Zach and his freaking, I guess you could call it a keyboard.
It's a sample pad.
Oh, yeah, there you go.
Sure.
Bill, I'm just going to do what Fred does on the Howard Stern Show.
I'm going to have some key sound effects that I'm going to be allowed to add.
And Donald says as long as they don't abuse it, he's willing to give it a try.
Yeah, but you're going to abuse it immediately.
That's pretty bad.
No, what if I'm allowed like four sound effects a show?
It's not going to work.
You're going to use them all in the first five minutes,
and then you're going to be sulky the rest of the show,
and the show's going to stink.
Well, before you poo-poo it, we're going to try it.
I'm very excited.
By the way, you know if you had it already,
you would say, before you poo-poo it,
you'd already be dealing with that.
I promise that I will not have fart noise as one of my sound effects.
I am going to have a big bong pull for when Donald says something so random
and stonery, you're going to hear a big bong pull.
I'll record that one myself.
That's going to be.
Yeah, Daniel's going to record the sample.
Perfect.
I like that one.
We should do just like a bunch of different sounds when it comes to marijuana than hot.
Yeah.
Donald, if you wouldn't mind recording all of the Foley.
Yeah, I have no problem helping out in that.
Okay.
Let's talk about how I try having a parrot.
And the parrot in the fantasy tells the patient he has liver disease
no the parrot and i go no actually you have in inoperable cancer don't listen to him
and then i go if only chauncey the parrot has been named chauncey
are you also by the way i don't understand the parrot misdiagnoses people all the time.
I mean, it just appears that you only taught it liver disease.
Yeah, it only knows liver disease.
We had neighbors across the street who had a lot of animals, and one of them was a parrot.
And because there were lots of kids, they were going, mom, mom.
So I'm not lying to you. So don't get a parrot unless you because there were lots of kids, they were going, Mom! Mom! So I'm not lying to you.
So don't get a parrot
unless you want to hear,
Mom!
Dude, you high-five Snoop Dogg
and turn immediately
when you walk into the hospital.
Yeah.
I'm feeling myself.
Yeah, you're feeling good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It got a little pep in his step.
What about when they come back
from seeing Common?
Sarah has...
What is that? Is that dread Sarah
has or what is that? Twists?
Uh oh.
Yeah, I don't know what you call those.
Twists might be appropriate. It was like
it was definitely a white girl dread
of like, here's like a lot of hard gel
in my hair.
I wouldn't call them actual dreads. They were twists.
Is this the first
frick on a Stick from Sarah?
Well, it's definitely Frick on a Stick with a Brick.
Yeah, she says both Frick on a Stick and Frick on a Stick with a Brick.
Yeah, I mean, we started adding words to it eventually.
But did she do Frick in real life?
No, where did that come from?
I think that was just you guys were tiptoeing around fuck, right?
Yeah, also we thought it was her character,
but I can't remember if she said the goofy words for that stuff,
like peepers or bajingo or any of that stuff in real life.
It feels like Sarah would be the type of person that would say bajingo.
Bajingo, bajingo over there, bajingo over here.
She says Mike's got a curved peep in her V.
That's what Heather confided in Elliot.
Molly confided in Elliot that her boyfriend has a curved peep.
Heather totally – I'm going to get off that topic.
Heather totally acclimated and was, like, cool with the cast from the start, right?
You guys all got along with her?
Because I remember at one point she was at Donald's place or something like that for a poker game or something
one night didn't you do like texas hold'em one night at your place yeah dude heather was so
great like we had a we had a really like it's still all love when we see her now you know
from my experience hanging out with her it was always all good like if I see her out and about, you know, we can laugh and talk shit a little bit and then keep it moving.
But, yeah, she was great when we were –
She was really cool.
And you know what, Bill, watching these back, it's really – she's very funny.
I mean you wrote such a fun character for her to play, and I don't remember, you know, just the dynamic between her and Sarah is really funny.
Was that why you designed that character as a friend for Sarah?
Yes, a little bit.
But you know what's really interesting, man?
I'm going to go back to something else
because this is something that I've often thought about.
So, you know, I didn't know Heather as a human being, um, that well,
you know,
I just knew her from movies and stuff like that.
And then when she came and she was going to do this,
we actually talked to her a bunch and got to know her.
And then,
you know,
kind of wrote a character that if you guys know Heather in real life felt like
maybe an exaggerated version of her real vibe.
You know what I mean?
Uh,
super positive.
She said that bill when she was on the podcast.
She's like, funnily enough, there's lots
of me in this character.
So it's interesting to hear your take on that.
Well, what's interesting is like so many
I'm asking you guys, like so many actors
and actresses when you hear them talking about
the craft love disappearing into someone else.
And as a TV writer,
you know, where you want
instant chemistry, you want to be able
to write someone's voice week to week really quickly, especially someone that's just joining
the show as a guest character, you want to get them to play an exaggerated version of themselves,
you know, and I could never sense if actors and actresses hate that, you know, and feel like
that's not what acting is, or if they dig on it because it feels like they get ownership of the character.
You know what I mean?
Because like, look, on our show, eventually you two are both doing jokes that you would
do in real life.
I feel like you just don't want actors love that doing it occasionally.
You just don't want to always be asked to play a version of yourself, you know?
But on occasion to, yeah, I mean, obviously JD is just just a, is a very cartoonish example of, of I am.
And I'm sure Turk is with Donald.
I mean, it's, I always said to people, it's like turning my personality and then just turning all the knobs up to 11.
Cause it's just an extreme version of, of who I am.
And, and the fun part about playing that is that, that your improvs are always going to be in the spirit of the character because they're coming out of who you are you know what i mean i love it the only thing that's
dangerous is what comes after and what people perceive like you have to create like then you
have to fight the battle of okay i'm not just that character and that becomes a challenge and that's part of the journey you know what i
mean like so being turk for nine seasons i know it works when if i if i need to tell a joke i
could fall into the turk thing real easy and i know i know there's an audience for that thing
and it'll it'll it'll work yeah the challenge now is not doing that yeah because it became a
habit we did it for so long you know and it's it's fun it's also it also becomes you know acting
becomes a craft again and it becomes an art form again and you also hear no a lot now because of
it but it was what you were hearing before anyway, before you got your gig.
So you're kind of used to it already.
But it's great when someone gives you a chance to show that you can do something different.
And I've been very lucky since Scrubs to play other characters that are, you know, you're always going to find a little bit of somebody in
a character, like Matthew McConaughey, I don't care
who you are, you find
him in all of the characters he plays
I'm sure there's a piece of him
that's what I mean, and I find that to be
I find that to be a positive
Donald, you know, it's so interesting because
I see sometimes, like, he's
a great example of somebody that didn't run away
from it, sometimes I get bummed out when an actor, actress, who I love doing, and in different parts, arguably, you know, doing what works for them, you know, something that's in their kind of wheelhouse, even if it's different and more nuanced, you know, or the character's doing something different.
You guys both know that the acting is littered with people
that then go, I've done that thing too much,
and so I'm never going to do that thing
that people love to watch me do ever again.
You know, it drives me crazy a little bit.
You can't do that to yourself, unless you're a chameleon,
unless you're freaking Daniel Day-Lewis,
and you can freaking, like, that's a 1% thing.
You know what I mean?
Like, Tom Cruise does Tom Cruise movies. Will Smith does Will Smith movies. A lot of the biggest movie stars, freaking like but that's a one percent thing you know what i mean like tom cruise does tom
cruise movies will smith does will smith a lot of the biggest movie stars even if you go back to
like the golden age of like you know bogart and mccall they were they were they were playing
bogart and mccall you know it's it's it's well and i mean that is a compliment i love it you
know i mean i i i used to love john cusack being john
cusack and all those movies you know of the say anythings and the better off deads and stuff
better off dead they were underrated they're all they're all different characters but that
kind of quick talking self-deprecating thing i lived for man it was so funny
now we're on my two dollars better off i can't believe we have never discussed better off dead
that's one of my favorites it's show Sorry Kenny, don't have a dime
didn't ask for a dime
The tone of that movie was so specific
and different
Remember, it really stood out
Sorry your mom's face blew up
I believe
Barney Rubble
asked him if he could ask his girlfriend out
Yeah, he did Can I ask out. Yeah, he did.
At one point.
Can I ask out Beth?
And so did the teacher.
So did their teacher.
So did the teacher.
So did the teacher.
All right.
We're going to go to break and we'll be right back with Bill Lawrence.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with
a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more
entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist,
Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses
who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman,
about the five basic strategies to help parents raise
good humans. Florence Fabrikant about the authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast. Listen and subscribe to the
Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Her way past a wall of lawyers and agents. She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old Richmond because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner.
Gene!
Eugene Fodor!
Gene, we'll boot it!
Much of the joy you will find on the road comes from the person you share it with.
So you write the books, Gene, and the last hour on the business.
I understand now.
If it's a wise man, marry a wiser woman.
But be careful and choose your travel partner well,
because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas.
Get down!
I'm not stupid, Gene.
Something is going on and it's time. You tell me the truth.
Freeze, Americano!
Gene, run!
So travel before it's too late.
Your money will return.
Your time won't.
And we're all too quickly approaching that final destination.
Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back!
And we're back!
All right.
I love how I tape recorded my...
It was accidental.
You were in the middle of doing your speech when you slipped on the wet floor.
I know, but I love how I'm playing it back for Cox, and it's on there.
I fell.
Have we ever gone back and, Zach, and really taken stock of how many non-Zach Brathels were in there?
Do you know there's occasional times that we put them in in post and just never had you correct them it was you it was always me yeah yeah it was it was always me i love that
there's at least two there was one episode where bill i don't know if we've told this anecdote
before but bill calls me in the editorial and he goes watch this sequence see if you notice anything
and i watch it i go no what goes, you didn't notice anything.
I go, no.
He goes, yeah, I needed a shot of you walking down the hall, and we never got it.
So I just pulled it from another episode.
You're in completely different scrubs, but I don't think anyone's going to notice.
It was a different color.
Holy shit.
It was light blue versus dark blue.
By the way, the best thing was the editors on Scrubs,
because I made so many bad edits to you
because you had this time constraint that you had to hit.
And they used to keep a jar of I had to put money in
when I forced them to do really bad edits,
and then we'd go out and drink some beers at the end of the year.
And they thought that was the worst one ever,
and I said, why don't you guys bring all the editors' assistants in here,
and if any of them spots the mistake, I put in like a hundred bucks into that stupid job
nobody noticed it no they all came in and they're such nerds they were like uh oh when jd leaves the
room he's leading with his left foot and then in the hallway he lands on his right foot and the
two editors were getting madder and madder like the pen the pen in his hand is it what and i'm
finally like no he's wearing a different
shirt, you idiot. It's a completely
different color.
I know. And I remember I would get into
ADR,
that's when I would do the
VOs and we'd replace any dialogue
that needs replacement. And there'd be
a call for
and I'm like, don't you guys have
just a file of
Why am I still recording? there'd be like a call for, and I'm like, don't you guys have just a file of us?
Why am I still recording?
We should have had different cast members come and do it.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That would be great, too.
I would have loved to have come in and went,
Oh!
Donald, much like snowflakes, no two are the same.
Right.
It's never the same.
Sometimes the pitch is different
you guys see that they're putting um scrubs up on uh disney plus now moving forward do you guys
catch that and that was different i did that was i saw that that's very exciting does that here's
here's a question that the fans want to know though does that open up it because it's on
disney plus now does that open up a limited series on disney plus as well
you you there's a couple things out there man one is the first thing i'm trying to have it open up
is i want to um i want to restore the original music as much as we can to the first four seasons
you know so i'm trying really hard and the people at disney seem to be being you know helpful trying
to figure out how to get some songs.
That'd be amazing, Bill, because that'd be great.
Bill, that'd be so cool.
Cause that's like one of the most common things we always hear from fans is
I'll be like, you know,
over the years when Scrubs has moved around to different services,
I'd be like, Oh, now it's on this one. Now it's on this one.
People were like, with the original music, with the original music.
It is the original music after season four.
It's just the licensing deals in the first four didn't – they weren't streaming in perpetuity and stuff.
I didn't know that trivia.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Yeah.
And the first four, it just got muddled.
And then I also want to try and figure out how to get it remastered.
You know what I mean?
Because it doesn't – we were shooting high def, but we weren't –
We were shooting 16-millimeter film, but we didn't scan it to be HD 16 by 9.
That would be awesome if someone did that.
That's probably going to cost them some money, but they should spend it.
I'm going to try and look at it.
We only protected for four, like the four by three ratio, you know,
so there'll be some stuff in the shots that won't make me happy, but we'll have to see.
Well, I'm sure if you go back to the, I mean, the negative is somewhere.
I mean, you can go back and, I don't know.
That sounds like a giant, people always ask too.
I do know that a lot of, there'll be some frames in some of these shots,
though.
I do know that that'll be, because I know Inwood,
John Inwood used to cut it like almost to the line.
Yeah, man.
We used to have, we used to have flags.
We were trying to go so fast, you'd have, you know,
I'd have to blow it up in editing just to get the flag out of the shot, you know?
Well, that'd be cool to have it be truly 16 by 9 and look not 4 by 3.
That would be awesome.
And yeah, look, Donald, the thing about,
uh,
I think we'll,
you know,
it would be fun to revisit scrub someday on a limited thing with everybody,
but I think part of it,
dude,
we're going to die soon,
man.
That's too,
that's too bleak.
Oh my God.
I got like 40,
50 years left.
That's so long.
When people ask me,
there's two things.
One is I want to, to you know i don't work
at disney right now i work at uh warner brothers time warner so like legally i wouldn't be allowed
to work on it so that's always been a bummer for me that's right but the other yeah the other one
is um but i will be eventually you know and then the other one is in a good way we all still talk
and hang out and to me it's the thing that you do that you do when you don't get to be around each other anymore
because that's really the only reason to do that is to get to kind of spend time with each other,
especially if we find ourselves in a life where we've all drifted apart a little.
Well, I think it would be fun, Bill.
I know you have the conundrum of being a Warner Brothers writer, and this is a Disney show.
But if that were figureoutable, it would be a lot of fun.
We obviously can't do it without you there.
It doesn't make sense.
It's a wrap if you're not there.
Well, you know what?
We just figured it out with another thing because Chris and Phil really wanted to do Clone High again,
and that's happening.
And that was really interesting to me that we were able to figure it out.
I hope that Gandhi's going to be heavily featured.
Gandhi is – Well, you know, that's –
I think Gandhi was part of the reason that show got canceled.
Oh, sorry.
I messed up.
Who are you, Donald?
I'm Toots, Joan of Arc's blind grandfather.
Joan of Arc's blind father.
And I think you were, more importantly, an emantomorphic peanut that George Washington Carver created.
Yeah, George Washington Carver was – yeah, it was a peanut.
That's right.
I was a lot of people on that show.
I did a lot of voices on Clone High.
That was a lot of fun.
That show was fun, man.
I would love to work with those guys.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I'd love to work with those guys again.
When they were doing Solo, I was like, come on, man.
Hook a brother up.
Their Solo would have been funny.
I'm telling you.
I would love to see it. There's stuff of it that was shot, man. Hook a brother up. Their solo would have been funny. I'm telling you. I would love
to see it.
There's stuff of it that was shot, man.
I think I told you guys. There's a whole movie.
There's a whole movie. I know it for a fact.
I know for a fact there's a whole movie.
I know for a fact there's a whole movie.
We'll never see it. We'll never see it.
Jamal, are you crying?
We'll never see that. We'll never see
Gareth Edwards, Rogue One. We'll never see that. We'll never see Gareth Edwards, Rogue One.
We'll never see these movies.
We'll never see these movies.
It's not like the Snyder Cut.
You can't do it.
I mean, unless, and sorry to get all nerdy on you,
unless this alternate universe rumor that's circulating throughout Star Wars is true,
then maybe we could see all of these things.
There's an alternate, for the fans listening
and for those who don't give a crap, I'm sorry,
but here's your Star Wars rant.
There's a rumor circulating that there's a multiverse
in the Star Wars universe and that the last three movies
that came out were on a different timeline
than The Mandalorian.
That's the rumor that's circulating
do i know if it's true or not i don't know but that's the rumor that's circulating putting it
out there okay well that's exciting for and it all has to do i'm sorry one last thing and it all has
to do with ahsoka tano ahsoka tano is supposed and I'll tell you how it, this is where everybody is, why it's all, Ahsoka Tano talks to Rey at the end of the, let me finish it, talks to, spoiler alert, talks to Rey at the end of Rise of Skywalker, right?
With all of these dead ghosts.
Now, if this is possible, if she's doing this, that means Ahsoka herself is dead.
In the Rebels show, there was this bridge that the star of the show goes to where he literally can affect time and he saves Ahsoka.
So they're saying now that there are two timelines.
One where Ahsoka dies, the rise of skywalker and then one
where she lives the mandalorian just putting it out there bill this is what i drew during that
oh it's pretty are you is that a tree you got a window and a tree i have a question because are
you very excited but now i don't know anything about the Star Wars world, as you know, Donald,
but I watch Mandalorian because Henry loves the Star Wars world.
And he was showing me that the guy that does Dear White People,
Justin Simeon, is that his name, in his credits coming up,
is listed as the creator of Lando.
Oh, that would be so awesome.
That would be really cool.
By the way, so it's on IMDB.
It says, like, the next show that he's behind,
it just says creator, executive producer, Lando.
Oh, that'd be dope, man.
Good for him, man.
That's good gossip, right?
I'm going to be honest.
That's great gossip, if that's true.
Like, all of...
Anything revolving around Star Wars or Marvel nowadays seems
to be just really good,
juicy gossip to,
I heard Kevin five to,
to,
to sleep.
The rumors that we're going to be a Marvel star Wars crossover.
Well,
he just did a,
he just did a huge Marvel crossing over of two universes in the fifth
episode of Wanda vision in a way that is no spoilers,
no spoilers because my girlfriend's out of town
and I'm not allowed to fucking watch it.
Dude, you are missing out.
I know.
I saw a clip.
That also opens up a lot of questions
on how this universe is going to be, man.
Like, okay, so are, like,
I know that the Doctor Strange thing is the multiverse in the multiverse
of madness and everything like that are we really diving into this and if we're really diving into
this how is the connection between these two so powerful then if it's not her real like it's crazy
dude they're going nuts with these shows they really. They really are. More importantly, if you guys do your research, all right,
so of the Scrubs multi-universe.
All right, so all the Spin City actors were on Scrubs,
but they weren't playing themselves.
A bunch of Scrubs actors went on Cougar Town.
Zach, you went on playing yourself.
Sam was there playing himself. yourself sam was there playing himself ken jenkins was
not playing himself he was playing courtney cox's dad and also the janitor was named officially on
clone high because on clone high we we wanted to be easter egg he played a janitor that was named
glenn and that was his real name at the end gl Glenn Matthews. But you guys were also on Clone High as voices and not as yourselves.
So we've never really figured out what the Scrubs universe means
other than everybody's been in everything.
That's all we got so far.
But the weirdest one still being the end credits of Cougar Town,
which you guys should at some point screen that one tag,
because, Zach, if you you remember it's when you
walk you you made the mistake of coming by the cougar town set when sarah chalk was there doing
a guest spot ken jenkins was there playing uh krista's i mean courtney's dad um and sam lloyd
was there playing ted and bob clendenin was a regular on the show as the neighbor, even though he's Dr.
Zeltser on scrubs.
And you walked in delivering a pizza and made Sam's head explode.
It was one of the greatest tags of all time.
You guys got to check that out.
All I remember is,
all I remember is that you were like,
Hey,
come on by.
Let's,
I want to catch up with you.
Come on by the lot.
And it'd be great to,
you know,
just to have a coffee and shoot the shit.
I'm like,
Oh,
okay,
cool.
So I think I'm going by just to see bill and catch up and we get there he's like hey um since you're here
would you like to walk onto the set and uh do a bit with sam i'm like okay i didn't even do like
hair makeup or anything i just walked on and like he like someone handed me a pizza i came in and i
was the pizza guy remember sam lloyd was having a nightmare. And by the way, this is the
funniest part of it. Sam Lloyd was having a nightmare because he goes, you all look like
people from my old job. And he pointed at Bob Clendenin and then Bob Kelso and then Sarah Chalk
and then Krista. And then you come in delivering a pizza and he runs to the window and hits his head.
And then he looks out and watering the garden out back is Rob Mascio.
And I remember, Zach, because when you said that you were coming over for coffee,
I knew I was going to do this to you, so I called up Rob Mascio.
I'm like, hey, can you get to the Culver City Studios in like 10 minutes?
He's like, I'm already there.
He was outside in a banana hammock.
Speaking of Rob Mascio, how about when Heather Graham dressed as Wonder Woman?
She lassos him in her lasso of truth.
And he says, I once had a threesome and not the cool kind.
So wait, what's the bad kind?
What's the uncool kind?
Two dudes?
I think he's saying that in his version, the non-cool kind was with two dudes.
But he likes anything.
It could be two dudes and one girl.
It could be – but also don't forget Donald.
He likes anything, but he's still prisoner of what those kind of frat boy jock surgeons were like.
So he's, even though he, yeah,
he still hasn't accepted his true tautness yet at this point.
Right.
No, we just watched an episode where his heart got pulled out.
And just as he's dying, he said, I'm gay.
Right, right, right.
Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
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And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network,
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This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could
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And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
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Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
I had one thing to say.
I think Scrubs already
has a multiverse going, and I think it
happened with that butterfly effect one.
I'm just putting it out there.
There's different ways it can go.
I'm just saying.
The closest we ever got to being weird with it, because someone got mad
at me about it on social media a few months back, was when we wanted to imply that we couldn't
figure out how to bring Elizabeth Banks onto the show. And we wanted to imply that she was a doctor,
in which case JD would know her and she's been there all along. So then we just did this thing that J.D. could not see women
that have wedding rings on because he's that shallow man
that if they're wearing a wedding ring, they don't exist to him.
And if you remember, we went back and put her in.
The person got mad because we comped her into Ben's funeral,
into that show.
She was sitting two rows behind J.D. I did not into that. She was sitting, she was sitting two rows behind JD.
I did not know that.
Yeah.
And we,
we put her two rows behind JD and Ben's funeral.
And then we put her in the elevator when he's doing Kung Fu fighting.
And she was just all over in the show.
You guys will eventually get to that when she,
uh,
uh,
so that was the closest thing we ever did was an alternate reality that
there were other characters in the show that just JD couldn't see.
Because this one, because she has a wedding ring on i love it yes that is it's why we established that gift shop girl disappeared when you guys get there because she's actually
still in the lobby down there where you guys are and i think donald says take your ring off
she takes her ring off and just appears she's been there the whole time that is
great um so sarah's boyfriend at the time uh you had jamie you had come in and play the patient
because she had to make out with the guy and instead of being a random guy is that what happened
yep um and just because i knew him and liked him and it was a,
a fun,
weird excuse for someone that would eventually be an entertainment attorney
to come in and be on camera kissing his girl.
Yeah.
That was funny.
It was like,
it was like convenient.
Like,
all right,
Sarah,
you don't have to go make out with some random guy.
You can,
we'll just have your boyfriend be the random guy.
But I remember that that happened the opposite when,
with the parachute scene.
Remember she had to, there was some guy when-
It was a stuntman that had to parachute in
and make out with her.
And the only stuntman they could get,
I think is generously probably in his early seventies.
And so, yeah, she had to-
Wait, I forgot if that was before this or after,
but I remember this might have –
have we passed that moment yet, Donald?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
It was some big stunt with the parachuting.
And I remember Sarah being like, he's like 100 years old.
Oh, my God.
That was funny.
How about Dr. Vaji going, it was horrible.
It was horrible.
I forgot what he was saying.
He was horrible, dude.
That guy's funny.
Because Molly's boyfriend gets handsy when he's...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, when he's all...
It was horrible.
That guy was funny.
He was in a couple episodes. He always makes me laugh. Yeah, I was going to say, he just disappeared after that. He wasn't a couple of them. Yeah, when he's all... It was horrible. That guy was funny. He was in a couple episodes.
He always makes me laugh.
Yeah, I was going to say, he just disappeared after that.
I love it when you spot people in a couple.
He was in a couple of them.
Yeah.
Dr. Vaji.
Yeah.
Very funny.
And a working actor also.
Works a lot still to this day.
I love the thing about me hating Lonnie.
Bill, you've given JD a real foil and you've given him a Newman Lonnie.
Yeah.
By the way, we always enjoyed, and it's a testament to you, Zach,
you hating people for no reason always worked.
Well, Lonnie kind of has it coming, though.
Lonnie's a bit of a dick.
I mean, he's not a good – he's by no means intimidated by me, and he has no respect for me at all.
No, Lonnie deserves it.
I don't think Keith ever deserved it.
You hated Keith.
Yeah, Keith.
Yeah.
Was Keith the one with perfect areolas?
Yeah, Keith's the one –
Dying of my areolas.
Yeah, Keith's the one.
Keith's the one.
He's the one.
Yeah, he's the one.
He dated Sarah, so you hated him.
And you gave every intern nicknames except him.
And he said, why won't you give me a nickname?
And you said some people's names just don't lend themselves to nicknames.
And he said, my last name is Dude Meister. You're like, what am I supposed to do with that what could anyone do with that
was it was it keith or scott foley that i was like you think you're better than me with your
with your rock hard abs and your dynamite areolas that's uh keith keith that's keith
you hated scott foley he's coming next season right yeah he's next season, right? Yeah. He's next season. And he was around for two, three years?
He was around a lot, man.
By the way, he's another dude that just fit in with you all so well.
It reminds me of Heather that way, that it was just easy to bring him back because it was fun.
Same thing with Rich Kind.
Oh, Richard Kind's coming on, Joel, right?
Richard, we scored Kind.
Yeah. Oh, Richard Kind's coming on, Joelle, right? Richard, we scored Kind.
Oh, I'll do an interrupting bill and ask you some good Richard Kind questions and that'll be fun.
Oh, thank you. Please do.
There's a great article in The New Yorker people should go back and look at is probably from about two weeks ago that said it has a list of movies that they feel would have been better if Richard Kind was in them.
And it's an article about what a great character actor he is.
And I agreed with all of them.
I love articles like that, but I also hate articles like that when they're like about you.
Like Richard Kind's like, thanks for nothing.
I know.
I know.
If only.
If only.
What do I get from that now?
Right.
I know.
Let's go to break.
We'll be right back. Let's go to break, but hey, when we're back
guys, I'm going to be gone, I want to say,
because I've got to go to a big meeting stuff,
so thank you for watching slash listening
to my podcast, Donald.
Thank you for that amazing rap, and
Zach, thanks for being here as a guest this week.
Donald, I really appreciate it. We appreciate you, Zach.
Bring a little
optimism into your life with The Bright Side,
a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine.
Hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
And me, Simone Boyce.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture,
the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives,
shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free
iHeart app and search The Bright Side. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season
of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha,
and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin,
about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman
about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence Fabricant about the
authenticity in the world of food writing. Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart
podcast. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you've been following the news,
you know that from health care access to safe schools,
LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about
growing up in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable
in my own body here,
but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover
what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
Scratch Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
And we're back.
And we're back.
We're fucking back. And we're back.
We're fucking back.
The guest is here.
Go ahead.
Open up that Lacey Fallis.
How do you say your last name?
Fallis.
Fallis.
No, Zach.
Fallis?
Yeah, Fallis.
Not like.
Oh, not like Fallis. Fallis.
I didn't even get the phallus thing, Lacey.
You led me there.
Yeah, I get it kind of often, but I married into it.
So it's not my fault.
Well, and also the good thing about being a child with the last name phallus is that kids wouldn't know what a phallus is.
So you're not you're going to avoid all the underage teasing.
True. They're good for now.
Welcome to the program, Lacey. Where are you calling from?
I live in Saskatchewan, Canada.
Saskatchewan, Canada in the mother.
And are you a piano player?
Yes, I am.
I'm sorry.
It looks like I'm pulling attention to that.
It's just where the computer is, and we just moved here,
so I didn't want to mess with anything.
It's fine.
Sure, sure.
But you're going to play us something, though, right?
Yeah, are you going to play a song?
You know, I feel pretty inadequate in present company.
I mean, I look up to Nick so much, and Joshua's song, Only You, is in our wedding.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Listen, if you don't want to play anything.
Lacey wants to play, Donald. She's here to ask questions and get her life fixed.
She's not here to entertain you.
Lacey.
Well, let me entertain you.
Gypsy.
Let me make you smile.
How'd you know that?
That was quick.
Well, good for you, Donald.
I didn't even get it out.
You know what Trevor Wickey does for Scrubs?
I can do that for musicals.
I didn't even get it out.
Gypsy.
Go on.
Ricky does for Scrubs, I can do that for musicals. I didn't even get it out.
Gypsy. Go on. I was on the
stage crew for Gypsy, and
I remember feeling so
cool that I
was in charge of opening the curtain at the right
time. Ooh. Nice. Did you ever
mess up? No, I was just...
First of all, the funny thing is, in the opening of
Gypsy, there's a scene where all the kids are at a talent show.
And I was a little kid, but I was like
stage crew mascot. And so they said, kid, but I was like stage crew mascot.
And so they said, yeah, but you can be on the stage crew, dude, but you've got to be
in the little kid thing.
We need more little kids.
I was like, okay.
So I would get there before the show and they'd put full clown makeup on me and I would be
in the opening sketch.
I had nothing to do, but just stand there as a kid.
And then they'd be like, that scene was over.
And I just think I'm the coolest stage crew guy but i'm doing the whole
show in full clown makeup and they're like go curtain and i'm like yo curtain and i'm pulling
it and i just think i'm so cool and i'm not looking at the fact that everyone else looking
at me is like sees a little kid in full clown makeup it's like that it's like that meme it's
like that meme of the joker and they use the joker like they they use the like how you feel
like it's the joker in that tracksuit it's like how you feel when she leaves you on red for an
hour and it's the picture of the joker looking at himself in the mirror with the cigarette in his
mouth that's kind of you man you were like that were like, they looked at you like a clown. You were a clown.
Yeah. I don't think there's anyone else who's been on a stage crew.
First of all, when you're on stage,
the whole point is you wear blacks and you sort of disappear into the,
into the shadows. I was, I was in full clown makeup.
Not you.
All right. Enough about me and my love of musicals. Lacey,
do you have a question for us?
I have so many questions
joelle sent me back some that would be okay okay good shop the questions good good work joelle
yeah um i i wrote in and i feel bad because i wrote in to kind of prove donald wrong about the
will they won't they split them up get them back together thing and we were yeah
I know and I heard your podcast today and you pretty much ripped that guy apart because his
story wasn't good enough go ahead Lacey I don't think ours is very unique um but we we were high
like we met in high school I think we were 15 and um when it time it was time to go
to university and yeah they were only a couple hours apart and we probably could have done it but
we just kind of wanted to go meet other people and go like just go fuck somebody else for a
change we'd never done that right that's right. Let's go do that and experience things and do a cake stand on a Tuesday and not
be judged about it, you know? And then when we were done university,
I came back to my hometown and he did as well.
And I asked him to move in with me as roommates and I was working nights at the
hospital and he said, no, said no no no he wouldn't
do it then finally he did because like you said Donald we win um he moved in and one morning all
he did was kiss me he said I said are we doing this and he said yep and uh we tried to keep it under wraps from there, but we actually had a miscarriage.
So that spilled the beans.
And, uh, since then we got married, we have two kids.
There's been hurdles for sure.
But, um, I can't imagine going through our, our sons were both premature.
They both had pediatric cancer.
They're both in remission now and doing well,
but I can't imagine going through a time of my life like that without someone
who's known me over half my life.
If that makes sense.
Yeah.
I hear that.
Yeah, no, I hear that.
Wow.
It's incredible what the journey you've had and
it sounds like through all those incredibly hard times that you were super clear that you'd found
the right partner yeah he is a man of few words so i knew when he when he did that and he said
yep that he meant it so it was kind of like stop screwing around let's let's do this we don't
So it was kind of like, stop screwing around. Let's, let's do this.
We don't have to, I don't know.
Well, I mean, you guys moved in, you, you,
you moved back to the same town and then we're like, you know what, let's just move in together. Yeah. Yeah.
Lacey, did you feel that you'd done enough, um,
sowing of your oats by the time you, you moved back home?
Yes. And then Donald was wondering if, uh,
if like those little things that drive you crazy, still drive you crazy.
Yup. They do. Um, but you see that the kind of,
like the kind of man he has become far outweighs that.
And also like the oats that I sewed showed me that the oat I had was,
uh, my husband is six, six and the adage is true he wears big shoes so i was good oh
i understand the subtext there donald i'm not gonna spell it out for the audience but
um now what about him did he feel like he had sowed his oats and he was good like okay i got
crazy i i had sex with lots of people and now I'm ready to settle down.
Yeah, he did that.
And then he got cheated on and had his heart just murdered.
So he got that side of it.
That sucks.
Well, that sounds like it all worked out.
They're happy now.
And you just moved into a new house?
Yeah, we just bought a farm.
We're insane.
We decided in the pandemic.
You can't beat that with a baseball bat.
It's like we bought a zoo.
We bought a farm.
Yeah.
Okay, let me ask you a question.
We bought a farm.
Did you buy a farm with animals,
or did you buy a farm,
you bought a farm with animals?
So you got chickens, cows, ducks, geese.
Two highland cows that need names.
I think the answer is obvious on that.
Donald and Zach.
Donald and Zach, go ahead.
I would love to have a farm, Donald.
Well, you know what, Zach?
What?
You're one job away from making that dream come true.
Well, I don't know how it would fit into my life.
I can't really have it where I live.
But the idea of retreating to a farm in upstate New York,
that would be so beautiful.
Like I said, you are one job away from making that happen, buddy.
So you just keep running that race.
I'm going to put it on my whiteboard.
Farm.
Let's go.
Farm.
I also need a farmer because I don't intend to be getting the cow poop out of the hay.
Well, it depends on what type of farm you have.
I thought you were going to have a farm like a marijuana farm.
No, I want what's called a gentleman's farm.
And that's where you get to live on the beautiful farm.
But there's a professional farmer leading the crew to make it look nice.
Lacey, it's time for Saskatchewan's favorite segment.
It's time to fix your life.
Oh, my God. That's so cool.
We're ready for you, Lacey. How can we help? We're here to help. Free therapy. Go.
Valentine's Day is coming up and we don't care about that that's not a question i have
um our 10th anniversary is coming up this year and we had always said that we were going to go
to greece that was our thing we saved our money to go to greece and then we used it
for our children's treatment so now and we can't fly anyway so do you have any ideas how we can
make this year somewhat special?
Well, you just moved into this farm. So I think it should be about, I know it's freezing outside, so you can't really do anything too long outside.
But to me, my first instinct is it should be something to celebrate.
Holy shit, we have a farm.
What about if you got him an animal that you don't yet have on the farm they have
these really adorable pygmy goats and they stay small and they're so cute and if i had a farm it
would be my first thing to get if there's a way to safely provide a habitat for a pygmy goat
i think that i don't know your husband at all but i think if he if that pygmy goat, I think that, I don't know your husband at all, but I think if he, if that pygmy goat showed up
in maybe a sweater that had hearts all over it.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, you can go online, I'm sure, and buy like a dog sweater.
I just, okay, I'm going to say this.
I don't think a goat is the right thing to buy in a freezing cold farm for.
Okay.
Do you have any ideas for what Lacey could do special
for her husband on their new ideas for what lacy could uh do special for her uh husband on their
new farm for valentine's day well yeah he's gonna listen to this too so give him some pointers okay
that's good you said you play the piano and you have a piano in the background right why not write
a song for him oh that's a great idea do you ever ever write, Lacey? I do. I write and I score.
Oh my God. Well, Donald's answer is better than mine. I mean, you can do both. You can play a
song that the baby pygmy goat can enter to. Oh, that would be adorable. Okay. So here we go. I
want you to write a song about how much you love your husband and how much you appreciate him.
And then if some of the lyrics could be related to the entrance of a pygmy goat and then your kids will bring in the pygmy
goat on a little leash bam valentine's day deal sounds good and we're gonna need video of that
please to be sent to us now donald what should we tell her husband husband To get for her since he's going to be listening Act excited when you see the pygmy goat
Yes
He's going to be excited
Story of my life, Donald
Lacey, you're welcome
You're welcome
You're so welcome
I look forward to hearing the song
I'm not kidding, I hope when you write it
You're going to send it to Joelle
So we can play it on the show.
Well, I low-key want to be Joelle's best friend,
if you could put that.
Yeah, everybody does.
Keep emailing me.
We're going to make this work.
Everybody does.
Everyone who listens to the podcast wants to be Joelle's BFF.
Aw.
I would love to hear this song that you write.
You said you score music and stuff like that.
I would love to hear some of your
music at some point so when you do if you do do it for valentine's day or if you do it for some
other time please yes do send it into the show and we would love to hear your music lacy we'd
love to hear it and also that we would we will play it on the show if you actually write a song
and if and and if you allow it and if you allow it maybe dj DJ Daniel could sample some of it,
and we'll put it in the recap or something like that.
Yeah, remix.
Oh, my God.
You know, Lacey, you officially have a homework assignment,
but it's a good homework assignment because we're going to play your song,
or at least part of it.
I don't know if it's going to be like a long-ass song.
We're going to play a part of it on the show.
I mean, yeah, don't send in like the five-minute version.
Send in like the two and a half minute version.
The radio edit.
Lacey, thank you so much for coming on.
We appreciate you and good luck with your farm.
That's so exciting.
Thank you so much.
You bought a farm, Lacey.
You bought a farm.
You bought a farm.
I think that's really cool
and an exciting adventure for you. And we wish you the best. Thank you so much. You bought a farm. I think that's really cool and an exciting adventure for you,
and we wish you the best.
Thank you so much.
All right, bye.
Bye, guys.
Whoa.
Somebody else is here to say hi.
Charlotte Lawrence.
We have a surprise visitor, everybody.
Charlotte Lawrence.
What up, y'all?
What's up?
I'm good.
So wait, you got your own place now?
I got my own place. I'm a. So wait, you got your own place now? I got my own place.
I'm a full adult now.
Charlotte, we played your song because we have been,
I've been listening to it in my house nonstop.
Flo has it on basically nonstop repeat.
It's so cute.
I know she texts me videos of her dancing to it.
It makes me so happy.
I love that you guys love it.
You guys are like my number one promoters
charlotte was like um charlotte was like hey i might make a video where i have my friends
dancing to the song will you send a video i'm like hell no but i know someone but i know someone
who will i was like i'm i'm doing a fan visual i'm gonna have a bunch of my friends just dance
to it really cute if you're down to join zach was like no immediately no didn't even
have you ever seen him dance donald i'm gonna learn to dance a little bit donald um for my
new film and i was thinking maybe you could teach me a few moves you just need a two-step bro
you already got the big dance down I've been really into your rapping.
I'm a garbage rapper, it's for the show.
I'm a trash rapper.
I think you're good.
Do you want to freestyle a rap about Charlotte, Donald?
Come on, B. I just thought you could do it
on cue. Putting you on the spot?
Here we go.
Charlotte Lawrence, Charlotte Lawrence
I knew you since you was a baby girl.
Now you all grown.
Yeah, yeah.
Now you all grown.
Yeah, yeah.
Charlotte Lawrence, Charlotte Lawrence.
I knew you since you was a baby girl.
Now you're all grown.
Now you're all grown.
Fantastic. I like the way you rhymed grown with grown. Now you're all grown. Fantastic.
I like the way you rhymed grown with grown.
Great, great lyric choice.
I think you should feature on a song of mine, Donald.
I could feature with that nowadays.
I could feature.
Now, Charlotte, you have a friend that's on The Bachelorette.
Yes.
The Bachelor.
The Bachelor.
I saw her name is Kit, right? Kit Keenan. on The Bachelorette. Yes. The Bachelor. The Bachelor. Who was your friend on The Bachelor?
I saw,
her name is Kit, right?
Kit Keenan.
One of my best friends
since I've been little.
Which one is that?
The one whose mom is the...
She's the...
Yes.
Yeah, she's the beautiful blonde one.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you watch the show, Donald?
Of course, I watch it with Kit.
I watch it with Kit.
No, I'm asking if Donald's watching.
If Donald does.
Yeah, absolutely.
Now listen,
I used to watch these shows because I always thought it was funny, but I'm over it.
And I saw Kit because I've met her through Charlotte and she's very close with Charlotte.
And I saw a preview and I was like, fucking Kit is on The Bachelor.
So I try.
I texted Charlotte last night.
I'm like, all right, I'm going to try because Kit's on.
I was like, how are you liking it?
Five minutes later, she's like, how is it?
I'm like, I can't watch the show.
I just can't. I can't watch it. You're missing out, dude't you're missing out dude you are i know it's a phenomenon it really is it's
like once you get in it you can't get out of it so you're watching it with your friend who's on it
is she giving you spoilers or is she keeping it on the do no no no so what happens is i'll be
sitting next to her watching it and then she'll be like oh that girl that is so fake she did not
actually say that in person or like oh no that girl's actually really nice like i get all the
inside scoop like i know you know what i mean i know that i know the tea so it's really it makes
it a whole experience because we're watching you know her on tv and then she's also telling us
what's going on behind the scenes it's hilarious it's just such a weird i also never watched the
bachelor i was never into it like that and i'm obsessive
with it i'm obsessed with it i watch i mean i watch it with kit next to me every single monday
night and i'm like can't get enough of it i love it so much i love it so much man it's just
and it's it's you're right it's an accident you you you accidentally watch and then you're stuck
and you can't get out you can't you can't get out of that one no no it's an then you're stuck and you can't get out.
You can't get out.
You can't get out of that.
No, no, no.
It's an addiction.
You're like, you feel like you're a part of it and know the girls.
Like I talk to the screen.
I'm like, Piper, go you.
Like, hell yeah, Piper.
Good job.
Like I'm like yelling at the screen.
It's like sports for me.
Bachelor of sports for me.
I wanted to watch it because I'd never known anyone that was on the show.
So I wanted to watch and I was like, oh, God. That's show. So I wanted to watch. And I was like, oh, God.
That's what makes it more fun.
Yeah.
Because she's also, I don't know.
It's just, it's like what you see on the screen, like, isn't what actually is happening in real life.
You know, of course, they, like, pick characters for each person.
And they make some people look bad, make some people look great.
Like, you know, it's not, everything is not what it seems.
Yeah, my ex-girlfriend shiri appleby
was on a show that was about behind the scenes of a reality show i forgot i think it was called
unscripted oh yeah yeah i saw that that it was it was supposed to be like what actually happens in
the bachelor and it shows you murdered well i mean they took it to extreme but they showed you how
like they shape the stories you know they're like, now go in and go in and say this,
you know?
Yeah.
I mean,
what I know,
um,
it's a lot of like what you think is surprises on the show or that someone
doesn't know something,
or this is crazy.
That just happened.
It's like,
everything is planned.
The producers like try to stir shit.
You know what I mean?
And,
and cause fights and cause craziness.
So it's like the one little segment I saw yesterday,
this girl from another season shows
up and she's trying to get on the show
and they call Chris Harrison
and he's supposed to act like he's surprised.
He's like, what? This is
so unprecedented. I can't believe
you're here. I saw that too.
And it was like, oh, come on, buddy.
He didn't tell me anything about that
but I was like, come on, Chris
Harrison. You called her at three in the morning.
Like, yo, we need to stir up some drama.
It's been a little bit too nice for a few episodes.
Here's the crazy thing.
My wife starred on a reality show for like a season, right?
Very famous reality show back in the day.
And she's stuck on these things, and she knows how it works.
Yes.
That's what's amazing to me.
She knows all the behind the scenes.
She knows exactly what they're doing, how they pit people against each other.
And yet she's still yelling at the screen, that fucking bitch, I knew it.
You know what I mean?
Well, I think another part of it too is that if you really think about it, they're filming 24-7 for months, every single day, every single night, all the time.
And they only use little parts of it.
So the little parts that they're going to use of you speaking or of what's happening is like only the meanest, craziest, out of the blue shit that you're going to say and do.
I've worked with somebody.
right blue shit that you're gonna say and do i had i worked with somebody so when i interned at stupid i interned at uh stupid buddy studios in the animation department in the sorry in the
puppet department and one of the people because that she was an intern too and it didn't pay the
bills she was one of the people that would go through all of the videos for big brother yeah
so you know how big brother is right so you know how Big Brother is, right,
so you know how Big Brother is like only an hour long
or two hours long.
Yeah.
She'd have to go through all of the weeks.
Yeah, because they filmed 24-7.
24-7.
And she was like, and she was like,
and so she would have to do that for that
and for Big Brother After Dark also.
And she was like, yo, because there's so many things,
so much goes on that you will never see like listen it's gross
oh exactly i just had a realization i know i just had a realization
tell us it's pro wrestling share the realization it's pro wrestling for women
no i think pro wrestling i think pro wrestling's for women also well Well, okay. It's pro wrestling aimed at a female demo.
I don't think...
Because it's like
not really real,
but people buy
into the characters
and it's...
No, but it is real, though.
It's an improvisational...
There is an aspect of it
that's real.
Last thing I'll say
is the crazy part
about The Bachelor
that you have to think about
is it is so real
in the sense that
these girls are
literally trapped
in a house
with one guy and
that's the guy they're supposed to love with no technology no access to the outside world no cell
phone so it's like their only mission is to get this guy and alcohol so it's like you i feel like
it's a part of like the only thing you got you're gonna fall in love with him and a huge competition
like i know that if i was on the bachelor i I'm so competitive. I would, like, I would 100% win solely based on my manipulative skills to, like, beat out the other girls.
Just not because I like the dude, but literally just because I would be like,
I need to beat these women. So I'm going to be, like, so ashamed of myself.
I totally get that. So you're saying that a lot of these young ladies that are on the show
aren't necessarily on there to marry this guy but are
totally on there just to win and i feel i feel like yeah i mean i mean i feel like nowadays i
gotta go okay my dad is kicking me out i love you guys and thank you for for promoting my song so
much and like being so supportive i love you guys and we love you friends daniel and joelle thank
you daniel and joelle thank Thank you, guys. Bye.
She's so sweet.
All right.
I am totally obsessed with that show, though.
I didn't know you watched.
I knew Casey did.
I didn't know that you still watched it.
I don't watch it all the time, but I watch it enough to where I'm like, to where I can laugh.
He had a catchphrase last night that was like, I want want you out the house and that shit made me laugh so hard like it was like when Ray J had his show and when instead of giving the rose to the girl he would be like are you ready for the love
of Ray J that shit used to make me laugh so hard it's just such cringe worthy stuff when you watch
The Bachelor Bachelor Bachelor Paradise
well now you gotta root for Kit because
I don't think she's gonna win
I know some fucking insider information actually
I'm not gonna spoil The Bachelor
but I know a little inside scoop
that's been revealed to me
from who?
Charlotte
Charlotte
you think offline I wasn't like tell me what the fuck to me. From who? Charlotte.
You think offline?
I wasn't like,
tell me what the fuck happens.
Right, right, right, right.
All right.
That's the show.
We love you all.
What should we tell them, guys?
We should tell them the truth.
You can't handle the truth.
I think they can.
They can.
I recommend a show on Apple I'm watching called Losing Alice
Really really good
Interesting sexy
Drama
Sexy drama
Do you guys have any referrals
Recommendations this week for the audience
Joelle, Daniel
I suggest you
Watch WandaVision
I know I know Don't get me in trouble I'm just joking Joelle, Danil? I suggest you watch WandaVision. I can.
I know, I know, I know.
Don't get me in trouble.
I'm just joking.
Joelle?
If you're into the Apple TV, try Dickinson,
which I'm super enjoying.
It's about the life of Emily Dickinson.
It's wacky and plays modern music,
and sometimes rappers show up.
It's so off the wall and weird.
That is very random.
Hailee Steinfeld is in it and she
kills. She's executive producing and starring
and it's a lot of fun to watch.
That girl's very talented.
All right. We love you guys
and thanks for tuning in. We appreciate
you and we'll see
you next time. Donald.
You want to count us in? No, you baby.
5, 6, you, baby. Five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made
About a bunch of docs and nurses
And a janitor who loved to hate
I said here's the stories that we all should know
So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch show with Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm.
Bring a little optimism into your life with
The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast
from Hello Sunshine, hosted by
me, Danielle Robay, and me, Simone
Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing
you conversations about culture, the
latest trends, inspiration, and
so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a
little advice that they want to share.
Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try.
not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon
Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going
to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer,
the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride.
So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, Here's the Thing,
I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers,
and so many other fascinating people,
like jazz bassist Christian McBride.
Jazz is based on improvisation, but there's very much a form to it.
You have a conversation based on that melody and those chord changes.
So it's kind of like giving someone a topic and say,
okay, talk about this.
Listen to the new season of Here's the
Thing on the iHeartRadio
app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.