Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 502: My Rite of Passage

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

On this week's episode, JD questions his relationship with his interns. In the real world, Zach has trouble planning Donald's birthday party, we wonder how much would it cost for you to do a Valtrex commercial, and we ask the all-important question, "Mom, do you douche?" Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. There he is. That's what I'm talking about. What you trying to get into? What you trying to do? Listen, in the five minutes that you were late, I sang songs from the music band to everybody. It was lovely.

Do you want to go with me to see Wolverine and Sutton Foster in the music band? Yes. Okay, thank you. What are you drinking? It looks like elephant semen. It's a delicacy somewhere on this earth. Does it not look like elephant semen? Daniel, look.

I'm going to guess it looks like oat milk. Smoothie, banana smoothie. It's a banana smoothie. It is a protein smoothie. Yeah, there you go. Vanilla. Vanilla. Vanilla.

It does have vanilla in it, but it also has a lot of super greens in it. I can't get over how good you look in season five of this show. I think it was the master cleanse. What was it? Why do you look? I mean, obviously, we're younger, but I'm not talking about age. I'm just talking about your face. It was the master cleanse.

I did the master cleanse that year. I remember. Well, you look fine as fuck. Like you wanted to fuck me? No. You know that saying, the kids say AF as fuck? Yeah, but I used to say it as a kid.

When you say fine as fuck, so what does as fuck mean, though? Well, fucking is nice, and I'm saying it's as good as a nice fuck. Anyway, sorry. Good morning, everybody. How are you, Adeyashun? I'm well.

How are you, Zach? Good. Beautiful day in Southern California, huh? It's warm. It's really getting hot. Don't complain. You're a heat complainer. I'm not a heat complainer.

I tried to plan up a paintball birthday party for you, and your wife said you negged it because of the heat. That's so lame. Do you know? Daniel, please back me up and tell this. Daniel, do not back him up. Tell him. Daniel, you would have been invited.

How much fun would a paintball birthday party be for Donald? It would be very fun. It's back on then. Fine. Okay. Are you happy? It's back on. That was too easy.

Your wife said Donald said. I want Ninja to record it though. Okay. We'll hire a videographer. That sounds even more fun. Yeah. That's your birthday present. Casey can pay for the paintball birthday party and I'll pay for the videographer to document.

And I'll say your only mission is to make Donald look like a badass and cut a video. You want that? Fuck yeah, but not just that. You know what Casey said to me? She goes, first of all, he says it's too hot. Second of all, you know he's going to go out and spend like $5,000 on shit we don't need. Sounds about right. That is my wife she knows me well she's funny she was like i don't want him to go now he's gonna say yes and then he's gonna go buy all these machine guns and paintball armor that's so you though dude you're like once you commit you're like gonna go get suited up

going all the way we're going all the way. We're going all the way. Dude, that's actually a funny present, right? I hire a videographer, and I say, look, your assignment is you need to cut like a two-minute video cut to Donald's favorite rap music of him looking like a badass on the paintball field. That's a great birthday gift. You know how long I watched that for?

You were just watching it on a loop. Oh, my God. I could even have him cut it to Star Wars music if you want. best that's a great birthday gift you know how long i'll watch that for that's you just watching a loop oh my god i could even cut it to star wars music if you want now avengers man i'm gonna call ninja speaking of avengers and all of that stuff i do love me some superhero shows man i can't get over it i love love it all. Really? Low-key? You're watching low-key? I am watching low-key. Dude, I watch Legends of Tomorrow. Do you watch that? No.

See? I watch it all. I watch it all. I haven't watched low-key yet. Is it good? Yeah, it's great. It's probably the best written of the Marvel shows so far in my opinion. It's a lot of talking it's a lot of, it's a lot of talking.

So you might like it. I might like it because I was with my nephew, as you know, Donald, and we, you guys were geeking out about Marvel and he's like, you have to watch, you have to watch Loki.

And I was like, does electricity come out of anyone's fingertips? Because the second that happens, I'm out. No, you're not going to see that. And he said, he said,

not so far. So I'm going to watch until I see electricity coming No, you're not going to see that. And he said, not so far. So I'm going to watch until I see electricity coming out of someone's fingertips. Why does that piss you off so much? It's just my joking way of saying, like, the magical, like, I'm flying and shooting lightning bolts at you. I start to get bored. But if there's interesting dialogue, I'm in. Do you watch The Flash, Joelle? No, because she's a grown but i have i'm not currently

up to date oh by the way your buddy greg berlani gave me a part i'm going to atlanta oh shit and what i can't talk about it and it's and it's uh it's a supporting part and i'm not going for too long but i'm i'm headed down to hotlanta i said greg he texted me he said i really love you to do this i go greg you could ask me to do a Valtrex commercial, and I'd say yes. And he said, I think you'll think this is better than a Valtrex commercial, and it was. Nice. Thank goodness. The Valtrex commercials, man.

How much for you to do a Valtrex commercial? What's your number? That's the question. What's your number, Donald? What's your number? That's the question. What's your number, Donald? What's your number? What's your number, bro? There's no number because it would ruin my career. It's a wrap. I don't want my career to be over

so there is no number. I don't work I'm not someone who just wants to make a zillion dollars and then go sit on an island alone and stare at the sea. I love working i love creating i don't there's no number none whatsoever no joelle do you have a valtrex commercial number uh i just looked up what it is and you know no one truly knows me so and i can use my money so valtrex if you're listening and you need a spokesperson let's do it by. By the way, cut to Valtrex wanting to advertise on the podcast.

And we're like, okay. We're ready. When you have a flare-up. Got a flare-up trying to go on a new Tinder date. I think Donald and I could sell the shit out of Valtrex. I think on the podcast, it would be funny. But I'm talking about you on a TV ad like,

it's hard to fight Herpes Simplex 10 or whatever it is. If it's a nationwide commercial, I know what those people are making. Let's do it. They're all doing scale. I mean, they don't hire famous people, so they're like, you know, they're actors who understandably need a check, and I'm not knocking them, of take that money i'm just saying as a known actor it would

definitely end your career yes yes absolutely we are different do you remember we were kids and there was an ad like mom do you douche oh gosh yes do you remember that yes that's why i use mass and kill right yeah clearly clearly like Yeah, clearly the fucking Jon Hamm of that agency was like, we need to get young people douching. And so the commercial was like a girl, she came to her mom and she was like, mom, do you douche? Why would you ever ask your mother that question? Ew, so gross. Well, nowadays you'd Google it, but back in the day you had to ask your mom, I guess, according to fucking Jon Hamm. Why is it Jon Hamm's fault?

I'm saying because of the Mad Men, whatever the fancy business ad exec was. Jon Hamm's going to be like, what the fuck do I got to do with him? I don't mean to blame it on the actor, Jon Hamm. I mean, whoever the Jon Hamm type in Mad Men is. You know, he's in the pitch meeting with the agency, and there's a picture of a girl, and she's like, Mom, do you douche? And he's like, this is how we get young people douching.

That's too far. Anyway, sorry. We've gone off the rails. That's too far. Do or do not. There is no try. All right. Subject change.

I was just thinking how great of a cut machine that is. Like, when you want to cut and go into something else, Dan, you could always just use. Yeah, just hit the machine. Just hit the machine. Hey. There it is. I'm sorry.

That's a great. Dan didn't give me many drum options, or at least I don't know how to use this thing. I'm sure's a zillion drum options there are quite a few but yeah you have to change this change the thing ahead ahead please don't please stop i thought you liked it when i rapped should we get into the show i have so much i want to talk to you okay so let's go no we can get into the show no no no no no no fun ruin the fucking, no. Ruin the fun. Ruin the fucking fun. Keep going. I can't wait to hire the videographer to document your paintball day. All right.

Look. By the way, I'm going to take shots. I'm going to be like, because I obviously will never get hit, but I'm going to set up a shot where I'm like, get hit, and I fall down in slow motion for the video. Really? Yeah. For you. You're going to go hard for it. I'm going to go hard.

You're going to wear a mask, or are you going to wear just goggles? I'm going to let you paintball me in the face whoa oh by the way um andrew watt who uh is the producer of the year and is a friend of mine um he's just the most incredible music producer. I mean, he's doing everything from Justin Bieber to Ozzy and Eddie Vedder. And I mean, the guy is so fucking incredible. He's recording with Elton John now. And I was with him this weekend and he was, I love the podcast. Can I come on? And I was like, you want to come on the podcast?

So I thought, I think I may have landed a really cool conversation with Andrew Watt, the producer of the year. What do you think? That's great, dude. That sounds awesome. I love it. I walked in humming a Bieber song that I love. And he was like, oh, I wrote that.

Stop it. Wait, which one? Is it Peaches? No. He wrote Peaches, too. Catchy tune, man. I love Peaches. He wrote that.

But what's the one? I think it's called Alone. There you go. I mean, it's so poppy. Don't judge me, but I love this shit. Anyone. You know what song I have? It's called Anyone. It's on his new album.

You know what song I had? It's got 300 million listens so far. That's pretty cool. You were a little underwhelmed by me getting producer of the year as a conversation, Donald. You're not interested? No, I think that's dope, dude.

Come on. Calm down. Well, you were like, yeah. As though I said, I asked the woman at Jamba Juice behind the counter if she'd come on. Let's have a take two of you being excited. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. All right go. Here we go.

All right. That's dope. I do think that's dope, dude. All right, good. Thank you. I just want you to know, I'm always out there hustling for our show and for our listeners. I love that. I love that.

I like your new angle, too. It's more in your face. I don't know about that. Why? Too much? You know what song is on my mind all the time? You got call her. Da da da da da.

Yeah. Hey! Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Wait till I get this new Casey song down. Donald's gonna get me the lyrics. Kerry Brothers and his wife, Jess Weiss, are gonna produce it. You guys think I'm not coming

through for the show. I'm booking guests. I'm fucking getting shit produced. I like that we're a musical, too. I like that we're a musical, too. And it doesn't come out of nowhere. Yeah, little by little. It's always themed. Every season, we need to add at least one song.

It started off with, what you trying to get into? A day of shun. What you trying to do? Yeah, that's a hooky. That gets in people's fucking heads. They love it. I should give that to Andrew to have him turn into a Bieber song. That's what we need. Imagine Bieber was like, What you trying to get into, Adeo Shun

That'd be the best day of my life, man. Every Nigerian with the last name or first name, Adeo Shun would be like, Yes! Sing it, White Boy! Yes! I write good hooks. Alright, should we get into the show?

Yeah, why not? Joel Couttson. 5, 6, 7, 8. Stories about a show we made about a bunch of docs and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate I said here's a story

That we all should know So gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald Season 5 Season 5 We're off the rails this season. Off the rails. Season five. Season five. We're off the rails this season.

Off the rails. This episode is off the rails. Everything. We were like, I don't know what they were smoking. We were playing to the camera and everything, dude. Everything. Wacky, wacky, wacky. But funny. Small one pop mocha.

Very funny. I figured out what Johnny was doing, finally. Maybe you figured that out. It feels like it's gotten to the point where he's like, all right, it's season five. We're almost at 100 episodes. I want to keep this thing fresh. Bill, give me long-ass monologues, and I'm going to try and make it so John Michelle can't cut

from my face while I do these monologues dude because it's like long long monologues they're getting longer and longer right like I figured I feel like monologues became his what you're talking about Willis

and so every episode now he has his what you're talking about Willis but I think he's every episode now he has his what you're talking about Willis. But I think he's doing it to keep it fresh also. You know what I mean? Like at this point we're really mugging. Like we're definitely, it seems like we're all kind of phoning it in. No,

I don't think we're phoning it in. I think we're so stoked that we're leaning in maybe too far. Too far, dude. We're all like the guy, the fucking dude at the party on blow like right yeah that's what i mean yes i don't mean phoning it in but it feels like everybody's just trying to go so freaking yeah because we're all so excited we all love it we're fucking sprinting

and i'm sure there's a part of it that's like how do we make this new it's season five come on what do we turn the corner what do we do now and Bill's answer was, what if we had ostriches that steal Donald's hat? Dude, not only that. And act as sentries. There's a lot of moments in this where it's like, wait a second, this is real. These aren't fantasies. Dude, where do we get this sweater out of nowhere? First, where do we get the coat out of nowhere?

Out of nowhere. And what about the straw? Did you notice in the bar? We're jumping ahead, but there's a Siamese straw at the end of the bar. How hard do these two plan to get this to happen? You know like in animation when the character just reaches off screen and pulls in an anvil or something? It's like that. We just reach off screen and pull off a a signee's sweater

yeah out of nowhere well if you want to justify it we wanted to get a laugh at the bar and we put it in our knapsack that were hiding under the table and we knew they turn away for five seconds i'm not even five seconds are you kidding me oh my. We are wacky as fuck at this point. Wacky, wacky, wacky. All right. Sorry. Let's get in the show. There's no way I carried you at all, not even a foot, let alone down all those stairs.

That was definitely a stuntman. I cannot lift you very far. Just to get the joke out. Yeah. JD really, really, really is dying for laughs in this episode. And we learned that everyone is fake laughing to their immediate superior to kiss their ass. I thought that was a really interesting, not interesting, really clever way of showing how, you know, the pecking order of the hospital. Yeah.

With, you know, the joke of, you know of trying to use whatever the problem was as the punchline. I thought that was amazing. And they keep going down until it's a homeless guy and his dog. And the dog laughs. Or barks.

He barks at the joke. A little pet peeve of mine. Yeah, I did. Joelle's counting was that Fucking forgetful to you No it wasn't I was in my head You can bring back the stoner Freaking sound effect

Oh yeah hold on let me find the bong For Donald What you trying to get is Where did you put it Daniel You labeled them. No, I never got to labeling. Oh, now I hit a weird button and it's telling me I need a new pad. I got to...

I'll insert something. You need a new pad already? Well, Daniel, with all due respect to Daniel, he got me a super... He helped me select a mega fancy one that maybe a fancy DJ like Daniel would know how to use. Like, you could, like, fucking, you know, Tiesto could take this and play a concert. I just need a fucking, like, four pads labeled.

Daniel. Now I'm not even in the right thing anymore. Because you pressed something other than the pads themselves. All you have to do is keep pressing the pads. Oh, wait, I think I'm back. No. Oh, boy.

This is my fault. I forgot that you're welcome. I said, are you fucking kidding me right now? Oh, my God. Are you kidding me right now? Dude, Daniel's got me balls deep in something. I don't even... Yeah, that's not supposed to be there. It I don't even... Wu-Tang Forever.

Yeah, that's not supposed to be there. Wu-Tang Forever's not supposed to be there? Not on pad two. How would you know? They're not labeled. For fuck's sake. No, you're not supposed to be there, Deb. This went off the rails.

Sorry. No, it's my fault. I found it. I found it. No it no thanks to danil there you go that's for you great thank you anyway please continue all right pet peeve of mine and if you're an aspiring filmmaker out there don't have main characters screaming and none of the background reacting okay when did you see this when this when they do the security camera thing and johnny sees yelling jordan and no one anywhere near him

acknowledges that a man is screaming a couple feet away from them i do i agree with that because the background uh folks and gals and guys don't don't normally do something unless they've been directed to do it. So you need to remember to tell them like, hey, there's a guy screaming here. You can react like you would. You'll now notice this in movies all over the place that someone's doing something outrageous and people aren't reacting because no one told them to. Just a small pet peeve. Now, I take a circular – this is not a fantasy. I take a circular saw and cut the tie off one of my interns.

And then slice his chest open also. I slice his chest open. Yes. Not a fantasy, Donald. No, not a fantasy. Not a fantasy. And I say, it's his fault for wearing a tie. Not only that, you also...

He gets dibs on... What is it? Where do you get them? What am I doing? I forgot, but he's bleeding everywhere Oh, the ketchup scene He gets ketchup because He gets ketchup first

Because I cut him open There's no discussion of like Hey man, maybe you shouldn't have used a circular saw a buzzsaw what do you call that thing dale what like a you seem like someone knows right spiral saw like a circular saw no it's not a table saw thanks for watching the episode dale um i think it's a circular or buzzsaw no i don't know what kind of it's the kind that you need a freaking a nut you know yeah you don't know table it's you't know table. It's a circle and you hold it up and you can cut wood with it.

But you have to push down on a table. It's the one that usually goes like this across, right? Circular saw. Yeah, not to be confused with a table saw, Donald. Well, that's just a big saw. Donald, do you know how to build shit? No, I suck at that shit. I wish I did.

We should have taken shop. We should have taken shop in high school. I did take shop when I was younger, but I made swords and shields and stuff like that, which are kind of easy to make. I never took shop. Listen, if you got a kid in high school, make him take auto. What's the auto one? Car shop? I don't know.

I don't care. I didn't shop there. I didn't have that in high school. Shop just shop class shop there. I didn't have that when I went to school. Shop just shop class. Oh, you didn't have that because you went to like performing arts high school. But in Jersey, there was like out of the movies we grew up on, there's like you can take- Would it make grease lightning and all that stuff? Yeah, you can fix your car class.

That's helpful. You know what's not helpful? Fucking proofs. Thereby, by the associative property of association, like, no, that shit doesn't help you. Changing your oil would help you. Because, so then you could change your oil yourself? Yes, Donald.

Dude. What? Do you not know how to change your oil? No, I don't. Do you know how to change a tire? Yeah, I can change a tire. Do you know how to change your oil? No, I don't. Do you know how to change a tire? Yeah, I can change a tire. Do you know how to charge your battery?

Yeah, you don't know how to change the oil in your car. Don't look at me like condescendingly. I know how to change the oil in my car. No, you don't. I don't ever change the oil in my car. I don't believe that you know how to jiffy lube. I don't change it myself. I take it to the freaking. Do you go to jiffy lube?

Yeah. I don't know how to do it. I don't, but I do. Yeah. But if I look at the manual I can figure it out My point is this I'll sum it up And move on

Okay Donald It's Donald right? It is There were classes in high school I wish I took Like wood shop And car shop

It's not called car shop What the fuck is that class called? Alright hold on Auto What's auto class the fuck is that class called? Auto. What's auto class? What's auto class called? People are screaming it at their phones right now. Auto shop. Auto shop.

Is that what it's called? Maybe. Yeah, auto shop. Do you remember in 16 Candles, they go to the auto shop, and they sit in the car, and he tries to hook up with her, and she goes, just right now, I felt how much you liked me on my leg. And he goes, oh. And he pulls out the certs.

No, he pulls out. Yeah, is it breath mints? Breath mints, yeah, breath mints. Fresh breath is one of my priorities. Great movie. So my laugh is, it's my genuine laugh that's featured in this episode. Yeah. I really laugh like that, I guess.

I don't notice it until I hear people making fun of it. You do. You do do it. And you're... And that's how you know when you're laughing hard. But, you know, when you hear your laugh played back, doesn't it sound strange to you? Like, I don't know.

I guess I'm aware that I have a weird laugh, but it's not something I'm conscious of when I'm laughing. I think everybody has a weird laugh. Everybody has a certain... has their own type of laugh. Like I know I go up high when I laugh. I love your laugh. You know what I mean?

I love your laugh. I can't help it. That's how I know when it's funny. That or then when I laugh and I can't make any sound also. You know, when the sound doesn't come out of your mouth when you're laughing. Yeah. That's how you know. I like that's when i've got you good i also like my laugh i have a weird thing when i when i laugh too hard i go like it's like yeah i don't know how to describe it i like that though i can't even do it yeah you can you do it throughout this episode i know but no that's uh but there's a different one that's like yeah you kind of do it throughout this episode. I know, but no, that's uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. But there's a different one that's like.

Yeah, you kind of do it in this episode. I don't even know how to fake it. Okay, the first appearance of multi-ethnic Siamese doctor. It is bizarre that we had the lab coat ready to go, and we seem to get it on as fast as Superman changes into his outfit. Yes. Yeah, I said it before. Like, what the heck?

Ketchup is for winners, Ted. Do you know what that's a light homage to? Glengarry Glen Ross. Yes, sir. One of my favorite movies of all time. Yeah, the Glengarry leads. Do you like it, Danal? Glengarry Glen Ross?

Yeah. Sure. Now, isn't that line just in the movie and not in the play? Very, very smart, Donald Faison. Yes, the Alec Baldwin big-ass monologue and scene that's in the movie is not in the play. There you go. A little trivia. Where the line comes from.

Coffee is for closers. Closers, yeah. Yeah. is for closers. Closers, yeah. These are the Glenn Gary leads and you do not get them because you will just fuck them up. Yeah, great, great, great movie.

If you haven't seen it, I never ask you guys for anything. Please, watch Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. Have seen it. It's a masterpiece. Elliot doesn't... You want to go to break or do you want to continue? What do you think, Daniel or Joelle? Where did Joelle go?

Keep throwing to me. Yeah. Joelle's not showing her videos, so I just feel like she left us alone here. Joelle's watching Rebels. Joelle, are you watching Rebels? Internet is going in and out. Going to plug into router BRB. All right.

We'll be right back after these fine words. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. All right, we'll be right back after these fine words. Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together.

Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm gonna let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and

tantrums, but I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million night's sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your

evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.

This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Scrub to Rewatch your wizard and download. And we're back. Oh, shit. I guess we're back. I had some Arbol. What's that? It's tree in Spanish.

You like the Arbol, huh? Well, when it's, oh, I see my brother's doggy, which means he's taking a dump, which means my brother's arrived. Just looking out and seeing a strange dog poop in my arm. I, yeah, you know, when it's 1.30 and I want to have energy enough to hopefully be entertaining, I like a little kick in the pants. You feel like it gives you wings. You do too. I do. You know what?

I do. You were too much. Oh my God. On scrubs. When Donald would have an art Red Bull in his hands, we'd be like, Oh no. Yeah.

Oh no. Because Donald with Red Bull is like someone who's. I didn't realize it went back that far. Yeah. And then other times you used to get coffee when you've had way too much ready and you were so crazy. And he'd be like, Don would be like to a PA,

like, can you please get me some coffee? And I'd whisper to the PA, I'd be like, decaf. Do you remember that? Yeah. You know,

only when I'm working, I guess that I go hard with, uh, when I was doing the L word, I drank a lot of Red Bulls, man, to, to, and it would be like one o'clock in the afternoon. drank a lot of Red Bulls, man.

And it would be like 1 o'clock in the afternoon. I'd be like, Red Bull time. You know? I know it's not great for you. But when you got to perform and you need a blast of energy, it definitely helps me. But I know it's just chemicals. So don't fucking at me. All right.

And they're not our advertisers. So I can say that. Judy embarrasses the crap out of elliot god how funny first of all we just said that we barely have fart jokes and there's elliot ripping a fart and it was the funniest sounding fart yes and then she becomes what she gets called – what is her nickname? Bankfarter. Bankfarter. Oh, my God. But I think these people all – I think these people think it's her last name though.

No, they know. They know about the Bankfarter incident. I know. But the guy in the last room when he's talking to her, when he fires her, the guy in that room. Oh, my God. But he's like German or something, right? Oh, Bank Vater. Oh, Bank Vater.

That's the funniest shit. Hold on. I wrote it down. He goes, oh, yeah. He goes, jealousy is an ugly color, Bank Vater. now for those of you that don't remember sarah's online at the atm and she has to fart by the way i think this is the second fart joke in two episodes like season five is off to a fart joke explosion so sarah elliot's at the atm and there's a line behind her and she says i really have to go i have to fart and and and carla says don't worry there's a line behind her and she says, I really have to go. I have to fart. And, and, and Carla says,

don't worry. There's all these men here. They'll just assume it was one of them. And then she farts. It's like a really high pitch. It's like, it's like a kitten being accidentally stepped on. And,

and, and then a guy goes, I think that lady, that blonde lady. I think that lady just fought it. That blonde lady just fought it. I think that blonde lady just fought it. And so we learn that Sarah has trouble staying at her job because everyone is calling her back for her. Well, only because Carla.

Because Carla gossiped. Gossiped at the job. Back for her. There's a lot of people. We have these people in our lives. You think they're your close friends, and they are, and you love them, but they just cannot fucking keep any shit to themselves. I'm sure you listeners have someone in your life like that.

You're like, I love you. You're close to me. I want to tell you this anecdote. I can't because you fucking cannot keep shit down. That's Carla. That's Carla in this, but everyone's got that person in their life absolutely who is it in your life i'm not gonna out them on the podcast but there's definitely people who i love who i'm dear friends with um and i i censor myself because i'm like i love you i wish i could tell you this story but i i have no doubt that you'll tell 10 people by tomorrow

do you have people in your life like that? Dale, Joelle? To an extent. Yeah, there's definitely mostly, sorry if you're listening, people in my family, my family loves to gossip

about each other. They're just very vocal. So, you know, we keep that under wraps. Yeah. You got to censor sometimes because you can see, you see where the leak

in the boat is. Granny doesn't need to know you went out partying last night. It's unnecessary. Nope. Nope. Wow. That's funny. If you out partying, Daniel, are you out partying? Daniel, did you go partying last night?

What? I'm gonna tell everybody. Daniel, where did you go partying? I didn't go partying. I'm agreeing to tell everybody. Where did you go party at? I didn't go party. I'm agreeing with the sentiment. She'll say, Granny doesn't need to know that you went out partying. I'm like, yep. Or nope.

No, she does not. What did I do last night? Wait, what's today? Monday? I streamed last night. I beat Doom Eternal last night. That's all the partying I did. Yeah, thank you.

What's Doom Eternal? It's a video game. partying I did. Congratulations! Yeah, thank you. Let's Doom Eternal. That's a video game. You beat it? It just took me forever. Did you take on the final boss? As a matter of fact, I did. I made a whole thing out of it. You and my nephew went down a deep wormhole of video game chat. We loved talking to you.

That was so great. Great dude. So-and-so is a great person, but I don't want to reveal their name on the podcast. He loves video games, and you guys were speaking the same language. Oh, yeah. Well, he's a good dude. Good family.

How many people watched you beat the video game last night? Only 40. Not that many. This is a good crew. Love them all. So do they ask, do you do, is it a tutorial? Like, how does it work? Yeah, I never watched one of these Twitch things.

You play the game and you talk, and people are like, wait, slay him with this. Sometimes. It depends on, like, how much interaction I want to involve the audience in. But right now, this segment is called Daniel's Backlog, where I beat the games that I've been just sitting on for too long. That are just, like, story games that I've been really meaning to be a part of. And how many hours does it take you? Depends on the game, but I think this one took me eight or nine two-hour sessions.

Probably close to 20 hours. Do people throw you money? Yes. You're kind of like a stripper on a pole. Yes. They're throwing dollars at you. Instead of showing your booty, you're beating a dragon and they're throwing dollars at you.

Or they're just paying for me to eventually smoke weed. That's more of the thing. But you see the analogy that I've created. Oh, yeah, of course. No, you are correct. Look, Daddy Dandle is dancing for those dollars, I'll tell you what. Dance for those dollars, Dandle. The cheeks are flying.

Coming to the stage, we've got Dandle. Yeah, come and see me, Dandle. I'm going to slay the dragon with a potion. It doesn't help that I was wearing a shirt that said come on it last night while I was playing. Oh, that's one of my favorite shirts of yours. It's a great shirt. It's so subtle. It just says come.

Like C-O-M-E? C-O-M-E? No, sir. Not that one. Wow. I'm glad you didn't wear that to Disneyland. Come on now. He once wore it in a training video. There was a guy with a hat we saw that had a, it was like the Ford logo, but it said fuck, I think.

Oh, that's inappropriate, sir. I was like, bro, come on, dude. Did you see the guy by the American flag looking at us in that picture that we posted on the internet? That's Carey Brothers. No, behind Carey Brothers. There's a guy looking at us did you did you go you got to go deeper into the picture oh my god damn that shirt is ridiculous so metal

i could never wear that but i love it it's a great shirt well i mean you saw me wear it in the training video for how i want to come on i want to come on your twitch i have no interest in watching someone play video games but i want to come on and make it rain like you're doing. Is there a make it rain button? Kind of. I mean, there's just the donate button and you can go as wild as you want. Oh, really? I can donate whatever I want. But do you do like a graphic that

just goes like where it makes it look like it's raining? I'll make sure that exists for whenever you want to do this. Okay, and do you have to do like if I make it rain like hard, do you have to do anything special? Like do you, will you twerk? That sounds like a perfect time for an audience poll. Audience, what would you like Daniel to do

for Zach's making it rain? Daniel, if I make it rain, you have to pause the game and twerk. No problem. No problem. That's totally, that's fine by me. Donald, have you ever watched, I mean I know that this exists, watching people play video games, but have you ever watched i mean i know that this exists watching people play video games but have you ever done it donald i have not but i will if i can manipulate

people into doing dances and stuff for me if i make it rain for them i might just start doing that dude coming on the next time you stream. That would be Wednesday. Wednesday night. Okay, Wednesday night we're going to watch. Wednesday night. I appreciate it. Can we pick a game I'm somewhat interested in, like old school Super Mario Brothers? What about GTA?

Either one, whatever you want. On Wednesdays from 5 to 8, I play Dungeons & Dragons, and then after that we play whatever. Can I make you twerk at Dungeons & Dragons? You can make me twerk at Dungeons and Dragons oh my god when you're done playing the game do you go around to the 40 people and be

like hey do you want a private watching private gaming sessions are actually on the only fans but yeah you can ask my link tree on the twitchFans, but yeah, you can ask them. Do you want to go into a private room? Want to go into a private room and watch me play Tetris?

You're not going to believe what happens when that full stick comes down. That straight four-piecer. Oh, boy. I got a corner coming. I'm sure there's, I really honestly don't know, but I know that pretty girls do this too, right? So did they add an element of like,

I mean, it's a guy's dream who likes video games. It's a beautiful woman. She's probably scantily clad, and she's playing a game. Isn't that a thing? It absolutely is a thing. Absolutely. Yeah. I know that Sasha Gray, not that she does it scantily clad,

but she's a very popular woman amongst some men, and I know that she plays games. She does. You know what? Donald and I are going to watch her and not you, Daniel. I just changed our minds. Wait. I thought she was DJing on her thing.

And I thought that's what you were doing on your Twitch. I didn't know you guys were actually playing video games. No, doesn't she play video games? And also, she cooks sometimes? Bingo, yeah. She plays video games and cooks, does cooking streams. I mostly play games. Can you cook, Daniel? Yes, I can cook.

All right, should we focus on the television show Scrubs? We really got distracted here. Quite the aside. Okay, now, while this is a nice segue, these breasts on the nurses, like, why are these? Why are they wearing that type of scrub in the first place? Yeah, why would these nurses ever be wearing? This is like a porno. I'm just saying, we really lean into the jokes

this year. I know. But listen, it was funny when someone, Rob says all four breasts names. He goes, that's Tina, Marge, Sloppy, and Mr. Snuggles. And then Aloma goes, Mr. Snuggles is what does he say?

She's like, Sloppy. No, she goes, Sloppy is bigger than Mr. Snuggles. Yeah. That's funny. I mean, it's just so unrealistic, though, that nurses would ever wear anything. Like, they would be fired in a second. Somebody would be like, put some clothes on. Like, what hospital is this?

And then we meet your interns, finally. We meet them in the beginning of the show, but now we're starting to get to know them. And you actually call Keith, Keith. And so now we- Yes. And that's the first time we actually see what Keith looks like. Keith Dudemeister.

Yeah. And these guys stick with us for a bit, I guess for a year. They're around. Rex, who I cut in half, he's definitely around for the season. Right. Oh, and then there's Gloria, the senior assistant. But is she around the whole time? I think she's around all year because there's a lot of Gloria jokes.

Dude, that was so funny when I make them go outside the security gate and we're all waiting on Gloria. You're off duty, but everybody kind of has on gray t-shirts. Nobody's dressed in. And then Gloria, I'm like, they're like,

shouldn't we wait for Gloria? I'm like, no, we're not waiting for Gloria. And I'm like, stop waving. You're always waving. Enough with the waving. But she waves no matter what. I don't think they ever gave Gloria,

they ever gave Gloria lines? I don't remember, but Gloria so far just waves. That's it. Even at the end when you tell her, hey, and you did the waving thing. And you do the waving thing again. Yeah, I demand that. She waves before that, though, too.

She sits there and just. Anyway. And Alexander Chapman is back. Wonderful actor. Yes. As the patient who's always trying to score money and drugs off of us. Yes. You might remember him from a very special film called Wish I Was Here.

Oh, here we go. No, I'm not going on a tangent. There were two actors that really stood out in that film. The guy who played the Aston Martin dealer, Donald Faison. Okay, I like that part, yeah. He was really good. The fact that what he did with a small two-scene part was extraordinary. And then, of course, there's Alexander Chapman,

who played the young rabbi in the movie, who also was really good. And anyway, he's back. And I love him. He's a really funny, talented actor. He was on Spin City with Bill. And I love that he's playing the same character, and the character still hasn't gotten it right yet. The character still hasn't. the same character and the character still hasn't gotten it right yet the character still hasn't you know and and i love the fact that the whole hospital uh wants to watch jordan go down this

path yeah where she gets tricked yeah and then she finally gives him money and and he's like i can't take it and she goes i can't even botox an ear with that like just take it that means nothing to me then she finds out and that's how you know that's how we accept jordan into the hospital that's how she becomes a part of the fold it's kind of like she gets hazed yeah and you know i i thought that was a beautiful moment at the end of the show also the music worked and everything and how you know there was a sense of camaraderie and and and fellowship because of what happened to her and everybody was able to you know tell them their story of how they got duped by someone i thought that was really cool i laughed out loud when you go i can't watch this and aloma goes then move your biguit head. Some of us don't have cable.

Yeah. Yeah. Aloma had two fucking ringers in this episode. Yeah. And then you fantasizing about killing your interns. Oh, my God. I remember. Okay.

I remember the stuntman doing that fall off the roof, which was a major fall. I think it was the person who does it. As I recall um have you ever been to universal studios uh when they have the they have the um water world water world show which is great by the way it's so fun it's a lot of fun oh my gosh if you haven't been to universal studios at least here in la they for your kids will love it there was a when i first saw that water world show as a young kid who wanted to make movies, I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. Even seeing it as an adult, it's really cool. I'm sure.

I'm sure. I'm sure. It's a really cool attraction. Anyway, someone does an insane dive, high dive, in that show. And I believe this was – I remember hearing it was the same dude who was doing this dive off the hospital. And here's the crazy thing. I don't know if Stuntman – they must have changed this because it feels like when stuntmen do big falls these days they do them into stacks of cardboard boxes that collapse but this was the still the days of the giant airbag and i remember that

everyone was very concerned that obviously that the fan that keeps the airbag picked wouldn't get unplugged because that would cause his death. And do you remember there was that utility guy who was always around, Donald? I forgot his name. Norm? Norm, yeah. So Norm was a very nice man, and he would just do sort of odd jobs. And I remember they put Norm in charge of like watching the plug like make sure the fan doesn't get unplugged

and I was like I just feel so dangerous that like it could all come down to like Norm decides to go get coffee and someone kicks out the fan plug because this dude was risking his life for a fucking scrubs joke it was a big four story fall

no joke but they didn't even use the whole fall. They just used him in the air. I know. They should have used more. He did the whole thing. Yeah. It was sick. Everyone gathered around.

It was very exciting watching someone fucking do a leap off a building. Felt very old school. You know what I mean? Felt very, very. No green screen, man. That's just a dude falling off a building. That's it. That's himself.

Into a pad that hopefully stays inflated. Stays plugged in, right? I'll never forget that. Yeah. All right. What else we got here? So this goes back in a day when putting your finger in somebody's mouth was acceptable.

Turk gets hooked fished by cocks. Yes. You wouldn't like that. To the ground. I don't know if I would be. I'd be like, yo, dude, we got to hand sanitize. First of all, don't put your fingers in my mouth. Second of all,

same as the first thing. Don't put your fingers in my mouth. I think this is the first time I ever say zoom, zoom, zoom. It is the first time. Zoom, zoom, zoom. It was a car commercial. That's where it started from. It is the first time. Zoom, zoom, zoom. Wasn't that a... It was a car commercial. It was a car commercial.

That's where it started from. What was the car commercial? Do you remember what it was? I don't remember. It was a car. Joel, can you look up what the car commercial with Zoom, Zoom, Zoom was? It was a Miata. Or it was a Mazda.

It was the... Mazda Zoom? Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. That was just the... It was their jingle. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Zoom, Zoom. Mazda commercial. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. That was just the... It was their jingle. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Zoom, Zoom. Mazda commercial.

Zoom, Zoom. I think the MX-5? RX-8? RX-8. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Yeah, well, those jingle people got us good. And I just started saying it. And then I know later I have a love interest on the show,

and I'm like, you Zoom? You Zoom, Zoom? Elizabeth Banks. Was it Elizabeth Banks? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anyway, I think this is the first the first that means she's coming up this season no i think mandy's first and then ebanks at the end i don't know that's why we have a fancy producer like joelle i'm on it i think it is the end of this season all right so look we got

we got oh my god definitely the hardest i laughed was just because you dye your mustache blonde doesn't mean it's gone i thought that was very funny listen i i always thought that was weird like if you want a female and you want facial hair by all means have it but don't dye it blonde and think that it's not there anymore throughout your thoughts uh listen it's your body do what you want but we can still see it it's not making it yeah yeah yeah i mean now you just have a blonde mustache right which maybe that's what you wanted no power to you no but that's fine there's zero judgment i'm just saying i'm here to tell you that it's not like invisible now. It's definitely not.

Absolutely not. What do you do? You just get waxed or something. Some people don't want that. But sometimes when you wax it and it comes back, though, it's a little bit stronger. And then all of a sudden it's darker. Oh, thicker? Is that the thinking, Joelle? Why would a woman who aspires to have it go away not wax it and choose to dye it blonde?

It hurts. I guess it's probably not more expensive than dyeing it. I don't know where it came from. None of my friends that I'm aware of have ever dyed their mustache. You know what I mean? You just either wax it or you leave it alone. So those are really your options. What about laser?

Or you can do hair removal. You could do the laser if you're about that life. They have the thing with threads. I've seen the ladies doing threads. But you don't want to get threading on your upper lip. Your eyebrows are sturdy. They could take it. It's going to hurt. Your toes are going to water. It's painful as hell. They're literally twisting.

But it stays because they're really getting that hair out. I think some women like it. They're like, fuck it. I think it's cute. Sometimes it's just not worth being bothered with. You're like, whatever. It's the hair.

Deal with it. Teach their own, Donald. What are you trying to say? You're going full beard again, huh? I'm going full beard? Yeah, your beard's growing back. Yeah, man. I'm not working right now

Like the work that I'm doing Is this it's all voice over stuff So I'm gonna let it grow out Until I gotta be on camera again Okay so You got a problem with that? No I just like you clean shaven I think this season you look so darn handsome

I guess I just want you to You like the goatee really? I don't mind the goatee I didn't like the goatee? Really? I don't mind the goatee. I didn't like the goatee. Really? You get made fun of in this episode for it. I do, and I feel like he deserved it. I don't think a goatee is the maneuver for Turk.

It didn't look right. I think you could have any facial hair, and you'd be perfect. Did you ever have a goatee? No. Yeah, exactly. I think I should dye... I feel like i should dye my hair or something like like a hot like bleach blonde or something whoa i dare you i did obviously for broken hearts call but it's been a zillion years since i did it maybe do it for this new secret greg berlanti show i actually asked the director like if i should do something wacky like dye my hair he goes definitely open

something wacky don't dye it because the person what you're acting with has dyed blonde hair oh shit you curious i'll tell you when we're done with the podcast okay i'm gonna whisper it just to you. No one can hear you. Ready? Can you hear me? I'm just kidding. This episode is so weird. I'm sorry, fans. I think we're in a silly mood. We have a guest caller? Yeah, bring in the caller for the love

of Yahweh. Say hello to... Should we go to our second break first? Yes, please. Second break! Second break! Second break. God damn it. I'm losing my fucking mind. Second break.

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Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride, so I hope that you all

tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Scratch me while I show with Zach and Donald. And we're back! We are back!

Oh, you know what that sounded like? What? The Revenge of the Nerds. Oh, yeah! Everybody. And clap your hands. Omega Moo. When I was a kid, I remember like, this song is fire.

Some jazz cabbage, maybe talk about the episode. So come on, Joelle, let's get the show on the road. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jillian C. Gooby! Gooby! Hi, Jillian C. Gooby. Hi! Oh my god, I'm so excited to be here. We're so excited to have you.

Welcome to the show. It's a very wacky show. Donald's in a very silly mood. Perfect. I love it. Very good. That's my favorite kind of Donald. What's your nickname?

What do they call you? Jill? There it is. But actually, I'd call you Goobz. Goobz is obviously a very funny last name. But Jill, if you were my friend, I'd call you Goobs. Yeah, most people. It's kind of cute.

Goobs. Hey, it's Goobs. And Goobatron. Goobatron. You know. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll call you Jill because you said that's your nickname.

Jill in the house. Jill, where are you calling us from? So I'm in Pittsburgh right now. And I should caveat this with we had a thunderstorm and tornado warning today. So hopefully I don't get cut off in the middle of this. Oh, okay. Wow. We don't want that to happen either.

And my dog is also very afraid of lightning. So I apologize if you are. Is it still raining and thundering outside right now? It's just sprinkling right now. So I think that we might be good. Well, welcome to the program. We're very glad you're here. And do you have any questions for us?

I do. So maybe I should just start by saying that I'm a physician by training. And I did my medical training in Canada. I did five years of residency there and I'm in Pittsburgh now doing some research training. So my first question was kind of related to medicine and the fact that in medicine, there's a lot of stereotypes about different personalities and different specialties. So I did internal medicine and then sub-specialized in pulmonology. And as it's kind of brought up in the show, internal medicine doctors are kind of thought to be the nerds.

And pulmonologists are kind of nerdy, but also adrenaline junkies. There's a lot of intensity in that field. but also adrenaline junkies. There's a lot of intensity in that field. Cardiologists are like the cocky nerds and gastroenterologists love poop. Surgeons are the jocks, especially orthopedic surgeons. Yeah. Radiologists and pathologists hate people. Psychiatrists are kind of the esoteric wandering souls, you know, that sort of thing. So my question was for, uh, Zach and Donald and also Joelle and dental. Um, if you were to be doctors or in some kind of medical field, what kind of personality do you think that your, um, specialty would best fall into?

Wow. Great question. Wow. Great question. I think Bill nailed it when he made Turk a surgeon for me, you know, uh, I think, uh, my personality and, you know, the way I like to look at myself is definitely jock-ish. You know, I like to, you know, if you ask my wife, I am a professional athlete or was at the level of a professional athlete when I was younger and could actually move my body. So I think definitely a surgeon. I think you would be an orthopedic surgeon. Yeah, me too.

You'd love to like be breaking bones and using like the drill saws and everything. And yeah, that does sound fun. It's funny. The one orthopedic surgeon I've gone to is totally jockey. He's like ripped. I'm like,

how are you having time to go to the gym? I don't sleep. Yeah. What about you, Daniel and or joelle um i mean i'll say this something that is very near and dear to me in terms of you know just wellness and health is ear safety so maybe an ent of some kind ear nose throat doctor uh i love being an advocate for wearing earplugs. And so as we go out and journey into the world again and go see concerts and shows, please do remember to wear your earplugs because you only get one set of ears. You need to protect this. And if you're on the fence about that, watch Sound of Metal, the amazing film.

A great call. And then definitely wear earplugs when you go to a concert. Jill, what kind of nerd is that? into a concert. Jill, what kind of nerd is that? I don't know if it fits into a specific category of nerd, but I have to admit that I am not the best at that. I do listen

to music too loudly, and I use Q-tips in my ears, which I know you're not supposed to. Wait, you're not supposed to put Q-tips in your ears? No, you're not supposed to. No, you can poke it through your tympanic membrane. That shit feels so good. I'm not going to lie.

It feels so good. It's sexual. It's like, uh. Dude, we have a guest. I'm not being disgusting. That's what it feels like. You're doing fake orgasm in front of Goob. No, I'm not.

I'm doing what my ear makes me feel like. I'm not doing any type of orgasm. You're doing an eargasm. That's not fake orgasm in front of goobs no I'm not I'm doing what my ear makes me feel like I'm not doing any type of orgasm you're doing an eargasm that's not an orgasm it's an eargasm I'm very surprised that your new nickname isn't coming up here Zach what yeah oh my god

not in front of goobs Donald stop alright now listen Joelle you strike i'm not going to answer for you but you do strike me as potentially a psychiatrist psychologist because you're very a good you're a very good listener go ahead i think that's what i was gonna say like i don't know how great i would be at prescribing meds and stuff so yeah you just give them out to everybody i really would i'd be like are you sad some for you some for you what do you mean like we're gonna get it we're gonna make it better boo so i think i'd be a much better therapist where I'd be like, are you sad? There's a script. What do you mean? We're just going to get it. We're going to make it better, boo. So I think I'd be a much better therapist where I could be like, and okay,

I'm hearing everything. I'm going to give you some very light advice, but mostly I'm just here to listen and encourage you. And then I will send you off to specialists who can really get into the nitty gritty of what you need. I like being like, listen, I love my therapist. She's just my home base. We just touch base every week. She guides me through it. And I feel like that I would love

that job. I would especially like that job with like, you know, preteens, teenagers is such an awkward and uncomfortable time. And man, being able to just be like, Oh, you're good, man. This is just that's just part of growing up. You're gonna be fine. Oh, man, I really like that. One of my one of my best friends from med school actually went into child psychiatry and deals primarily with childhood anxiety disorders. And bless them because we need them. And I mean, like a lot of a lot of psychiatrists will do more kind of talk therapy and CBD type approaches. And I mean, they also have the ability to prescribe medications when they, when they have to, but, um, it just kind of depends on what area of psychiatry you're in.

I would, um, I think I'd be an ER doctor or a, or a, um, um, trauma center person. I'm very, I'm very excited by, um, the adrenaline and the excitement, and the people skills and um i as i've shared on here before i i volunteered on my town's rescue squad when i was 18 and um i loved it i thought it was so incredible and then the paramedics who would meet us at the scene to me were like superheroes and i just always thought paramedics were so badass and cool and um you know like like all people, I've been in ERs with family members and when the doctors and nurses come to the rescue, I just think it's so thrilling.

And I think that's what I would do. I think you would rocket that. There's an amazing documentary, Goobs, you've probably seen it, but it's called Code Black. I haven't seen it. Tell me more. There's a TV show that you've probably seen it, but it's called Code Black. I haven't seen it. Tell me more. There's a TV show that they made based on it, but I highly recommend this.

I just looked it up for you guys. It came out in 2014. It's called Code Black. The TV show was inspired by it, but it's about the first trauma center that was ever set up in L.A. as a teaching hospital. in LA and as a teaching hospital. And it's insane how they used to teach young doctors how to handle trauma that comes in. And a code black, I believe is,

is the jargon for, there's just no, there's no beds left. We're so full. The wait time is so long, like do not come here because they were at inner city hospital. And I don't know code black this year i'll bet i'll bet anyway check out that documentary uh especially especially if um if

you're in the field and or you know a young person who's might be inspired to get into the field i that documentary made me want to change my whole life around and become a real doctor not a fake doctor but i'm just gonna stick with fake doctor think one, one thing that I would say about that, Zach, is that I feel like at least from here, listening to the podcast so much is that, um, it seems to me like you're really big on kind of the relationship building aspect of it too. And the one thing about being an ER doctor is that you don't get to necessarily spend as much time with the patients and see that follow-up. So I can see, like, I get that because I'm more of an, I like the adrenaline of, you know, the acutely, critically ill and did a lot of ICU and that sort of thing.

So I can see you being an ICU doctor. The crazy thing about, thank you, wow, that's a very nice comment. The crazy thing about the ICU doctors, I understand that they're usually on two weeks and then off two weeks, right? Yeah, yeah. Because it's so... I mean,'s so in the hospital and like oh well my experience with ICU and I've unfortunately had a bunch in the last uh however many years is that it it's so intense and they come in for two weeks and then they take two weeks off to to recover but it's weird because if you've got someone in the ICU you're like you're like you fall in love with

these people and you're like, please don't leave me hero. And they're like, I have to, I'll be back in two weeks. It's a weird, it's a, it's a weird way of doing things,

but I understand why. Cause who can sustain that level of concentration and stress? It could be totally life consuming. That's for sure. It kind of leads into my next question. Yes. Goobs. Good transition.

You did it. I didn't even have to do it. Go ahead. I love it. that's for sure it kind of leads into my next question yes goobs good transition you did i didn't even have to do it go ahead i love it you should tell all your friends to call you goobs it's the perfect i mean they do donald don't you love it it's better than jill i don't i don't she said she wants to be called jill man i'm gonna honor that and respect that i'm not gonna to honor Jill. I appreciate you too, Jill. All right, Jill, go ahead. So I really thought it was so interesting to hear about the process of you guys filming Scrubs, especially just the crazy, crazy hours that you were working in Scrubs,

being there all hours of the night. And it reminded me a lot of my residency experience. Like I would have shifts where I was doing like 27 hours and going 110% the whole time, like not sleeping. And it was just such a like critical, formative experience in my life, but it was obviously super difficult and filled with a lot of sleep deprivation. But I learned so much through that kind of intensive immersion into my into my job and into my career. And I bonded so much with the people that I did it with. And so I think that it's kind of similar. And there's a lot of correlates with what

it seems like you guys went through, because you were quite early in your career at that time as well. And it, I imagine, was quite a formative experience for you as actors. So now that that is not how a lot of TV shows are made with those like 24 episodes and lots of that time spent, do you think that that's changing how the field of acting is moving forward and those experiences for young actors? My first answer is it became a matter of safety for the crew because what was happening is there were incidents of, you know, the crew are always, however long actors complain about being there, the crew are there longer. And there were a lot of safety issues with, you know, people falling asleep, driving home. And obviously no one can help but be less safe than they were when the day started, when they've been working for 18 hours. So I think that people began to become more conscious of that.

And the unions, of course, became more conscious of that. And the studios did. I don't know, Donald, do you think, as far as acting goes, no, I think it's way more healthy to not do it. Although the one defense of it I'll say is we were playing interns who have these insane hours. So there was a bit of like, we're always here, we're only in this hospital. I mean, it was a little bit of method acting because we were loopy and silly and pounding coffee. And it probably helped us pretend to be the real thing right donald yeah you know uh it's just weird when you meet actors who go that deep into the role that they you know start you know acting like the character that they're playing in some way

it's always and then you meet them afterwards and they're completely different and so i can't yeah i get it for what it's worth that is an experience but i definitely as i don't care if i was if i were a young actor or an old actor i feel like it's way more healthier to have regulated hours uh just for your mind and everything it would suck it sucked to have you know when you did 18 hours and then have to go home sleep and then still memorize your lines for the next day you know with very and i you know it got to the point where i didn't even try to memorize my lines. I just would go to work and be like, all right, what are we, what are we doing? Well, you probably worked better. Like when you actually slept rather than stayed up all night,

memorizing your lines, I would guess. Yeah. Unless the part is like someone, I definitely feel sometimes when, if you're playing on edge or, or grouchy or, or irritable, uh, it obviously helps if you're in that space because you just want to scream, you know? Yeah, I don't know. I like naps now.

I like naps now. Maybe that's what it is. Hashtag 47. I like naps now. Maybe that's what it is. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright

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Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you. To talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift. What my responsibilities are as a person with cancer. Because I think that there's something so much bigger than me.

And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Johnny C. would come in. Johnny C. lived far out at the beach.

And I think I've told you this before. He didn't want to deal with the traffic coming into where we shot. So if he knew he had an early call, he'd get up at like 4 in the morning, drive to the hospital, and then go back to sleep at the hospital because the traffic from where he lived was such a nightmare so i wish he'd be there like an insane amount of hours because he was doing that yeah i wish i had his dedication when we were young like we were when we were making this you know what i mean like his his ability to want to learn how to do to not learn how to but to learn a crap ton of lines you know uh because that was

exciting for him and you know he thought that you know i i just i i looked at it as if i could have the least amount of line at this point season five if i could have the least amount of lines and least amount of scenes i can get out and party or I can go play paintball or I can go, you know, that that's what I was thinking about at this point in the show. I'm pretty sure of it. Yeah, I am, too. That's pretty much your attitude. That's totally understandable. I mean, you need to have a life, too, right?

Like you can't you can't let it be completely all consuming with your job. I think that's so important to me. Yeah, but you succeed way more when you do focus. But you're doing amazing things and saving lives. We were just fucking around trying to make people laugh. No, you guys made an incredible show that was super inspiring for me. I actually watched... So when I got into med school, my parents bought me the entire box set of scrubs and so i got into med school in 2011 and i watched all of it with my best friend who was my roommate at the time and um it was so scary watching it but like it was amazing but really scary because

i was like holy shit i don't know any of this stuff and how am i i know but maybe we gave you maybe in watching it we gave you some uh random answers that you got right. And then I rewatched it again. Now that I'm kind of doing research training and have done all of my clinical residency. And it's just like such a different experience to go through it again at like so much older and wiser. All right, Goobs, you know what time it is? I think I might be. It's time for Pennsylvania's favorite segment, Donald. What time is that?

It's time to fix your life. How can we fix your life, Goobs? It seems like you have a good life. You seem like a happy person. How can we, I can't imagine we? It seems like you have a good life. You seem like a happy person. How can we, I can't imagine we can improve on it, but we'll try. Well, I hope that you can give me some hot tips because I am trying to figure out a predicament at the moment. Okay.

Um, so my partner, Sean and I are, um, both, uh, in Pittsburgh right now doing, um, research training. And we've both, you know, spent a lot of time, money, energy on our careers and our education. And we've both been like, very supportive of each other over that time. We're both from Canada. And, and I'm thinking that we'll probably be finishing up our research training here within the next year or so. And we're trying to decide where to go after that. And so I'm looking at two places in Canada and one in the US, but we're kind of leaning towards Canada, because that's where our families are. And you know, if we want to have kids and all that stuff, it's easier to do it closer to family. And we're kind of torn between two locations. One is better for my career and one's better for his career.

Yours, Goobs. The one that is like better for his career is also closer to his family and probably a little bit more family in general that would be able to support and the one that's better for my career has a little bit more of my family nearby so it's a really tough decision wow that is tricky now how far apart are these um towns from from each other they're they're vancouver and calgary so they're um on the west coast and you know you can fly from vancouver to calgary in like an hour and a half but i try to minimize my like flying because i don't want to you know have too big of a carbon footprint and whatnot but oh um daniel likes that you got a from dan from Daniel. Oh, I like it. Now, Goobs, I have a question.

I don't know anything about living in Calgary, but Van Groovy is a really fun place to live, so we have to factor that in. It's a great place to live. Calgary is a pretty cool place to live, too. It's just cold. It's colder. It's just cold.

But we love being in all kinds of outdoor activities and stuff. Why don't you come live in Southern California, Goobs? We have a lot of hospitals. It's 77 every day. What's wrong with you? Yeah, but then she's got the predicament that they want to start a family and everything like that. We'll help. You're going to babysit?

You're going to babysit? You're full of shit because you haven't babysat once. I haven't babysat once. I babysat your kids I babysat your kids. Never in your life. I watched Wilder while you went on Guardians of the Galaxy. Here's the other issue with that. You are an

asshole, sir. You're a T-Ears. Go ahead, Goobs. I'm a T-Ears. Sorry, go ahead. The issue with that is that it's still a part of the American healthcare system, which is,

Oh, yeah, it's a mess. Right. Well, that's interesting. So you, you,

you prefer the Canadian healthcare system as a, uh, young physician. I like being able to treat people equally. Wow. I like that. It is. There's the knowledge for you. There's the knowledge for you. Fake doctors, real friends. Wow. I like that. There it is. Bam. There's the knowledge for you.

There's the knowledge for you, fake doctors, real friends, listeners. Yeah, you're hearing it right from a young physician. I like to be able to treat my patients equally. Fucking hell. Bam. Boom. Hold on. Let me hit the button.

That's really well said. Really well said. And people need to hear it as succinct as that. Yeah. I don't know if it's going to happen in our lifetime. That's pretty much what it comes down to for me. All right. Okay.

So we're on Canada because we believe in healthcare for everybody. Okay. Got that. I mean, it's not to say that I wouldn't consider taking a job in the U.S. Especially if Donald and I were going to help you out with some light babysitting. I'm not babysitting your kids. I'm sorry. I'm not babysitting your kids.

They'll be really cute, I promise. I'm sure they will be. I'm sure they will be, but I got enough of them. Yeah, you got too many. I'm good. Is the Vancouver position better for you or your husband? For me. Okay, Vancouver.

We choose Vancouver. Vancouver it is. Vancouver. It choose Vancouver. Vancouver it is. Vancouver. It's a no-brainer. It's a no-brainer because you're young. How old are you? 30. You're 30 years old.

Go live in a really fun city. What I'm told is the most fun city in Canada. You're close to the ski slope since you guys ski. You said there's family there for when you have kids. And he's just going to have to understand. And you can say, babe, I love you,

but come on, we're 30 years old. Let's go live in a fun ass city. We can live in Calgary another time. It's super expensive too. It's the only thing, but you know, 30 years old in Calgary.

No, no, we'll edit that out for you, Donald. I don't know. I don't know my geography, dude. I know.

Where's saying is, is, is Oahu in India? We'll edit that out for you, Donald. I don't know my geography, dude. I know, but that's what I'm saying. Is Oahu in India? You can eat a dick. You can eat fucking seven. You can eat a fucking whole. Goobs, earmuffs. Earmuffs, goobs. You can eat a bag of fucking dicks, Donald.

You can eat a dick. You can eat a basket of uncircumcised anteaters. You can eat a fucking purple-tipped dickcised anteaters. Fucking purple-tipped dick. Oh my god, Goobs, you were supposed to have earmuffs on. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. It was too good. I'm crying.

Goobs, why does the tip sometimes purple from a doctor's... No, no, no. Nope, nope, nope. Okay, sorry. My specialty is the lungs, no, no. I'm asking her a doctor. Nope. Nope. Okay, sorry. Nope. My specialty is the lungs, so... Okay, sorry. I mean, I'm sure...

I thought we could... We'll cut that. I'm sorry. I just thought that we could ask a doctor a question. I'm sorry. You definitely can, but... Nope. No, I'm sorry, Goofs. I'm sorry. No, no. I actually don't know. I'll have to look that one up. Yeah, Jill'm sorry, Goobs. I'm sorry. No, no. That's enough.

I actually don't know. I'll have to look that one up. Yeah, Jill, look that up. Oh, God. I don't need to look that up. I will. Daniel, why don't you look that up on your server? Daniel, will you look it up and tell Goobs?

Because she might come up in her practice in Vancouver. What a sum of penis. All right. You're welcome, Goobs. Vancouver it is. You'll be able to hang out with Sarah Chalk. Yeah, I would love that. She's filming Firefly Lane there. Firefly Lane. You'll be able to go to the set, visit her. She's the best.

Tell her we sent you. I'm excited from you guys too. Alright, Danil, you can stay on until the end because I think we're done, my friend. Danil, tell everyone how we can watch you shake your butt on the pole on Twitch. Yes, please. Oh, wait, I think Daniel has an answer. I just wanted to say I found the article.

What's the answer? Why it happens and what to do. The tip. What do we do? Goobs doesn't know. There's a number of possible answers. Sometimes it's simply just increased blood flow to the penis. Sometimes it's a bruise, a hematoma, which is a deep bruise.

Blood spots, also known as purpura, can appear purple or red and usually raise against the surface of your skin. Allergic reactions, sexually transmitted infection. There's a lot of answers. I think I know what the answer is. It's the first one you said. It's when the phallus is extremely erect and so much blood has gone there that the tip appears discolored i think you therefore purple thereby you get you get vasoconstriction

of the veins that that prevents the blood flow from leaving the erect boom that's why and that's from a real doctor y'all that's from a real doctor, y'all. That's from a real doctor. What's it called? VEVA constriction? Vasoconstriction. Vasoconstriction. How's your vasoconstriction, Zach? You should, Donald, you should use that with your dirty talk with Casey.

Be like, oh, I got some vasoconstriction going on. Okay. Vasoconstriction. It's a very, it's a very, Zach, I love you. Zach,

Zach, Zach, I love you. Yeah. It's a balance between vasodilation and vasoconstriction to be technical. What'd you say? Thank you for that. It's a balance between vasodilation and vasoconstriction.

Yeah. Casey, you like Casey. Do you want it? Do you want it dilated? Zach, I love you. Do you want some vasodilation? You want it dilated? Casey, do you want some vasodilation?

You want it dilated today, baby? Anyway. Dana, where do we watch you on Twitch on Twerk for Money? You can watch me on Twerk for Money on Twitch. Yeah, I'm going to get vasodilated. Oh, boy. On twitch.tv slash DJ underscore Danil. Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.

Okay, what game will you be playing? On Wednesday night, I will be playing D&D and then I will be twerking for you two. No, I want you to twerk during D&D. I'm going to take you private and watch you play Tetris

while I get dilated. No. take you private i'm gonna take you private and watch you play tetris while i get diluted oh no we need to end the show we love you all sorry of dogs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch

show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. Hi, friends. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice,

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