Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 508: My Big Bird

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

On this week's episode, an ostrich wears a kango hat. Need I say more? In the real world, we're excited about the Camilla Cabello Cinderella story, we've got a new Cacee song, and for 2.5 seconds we discuss Star Wars.Buy live tickets here - https://onlocationlive.com/product/fake-doctors-real-friends-1 Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.

We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm gonna let you into a little secret. The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine. With original kids' bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream. Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Imagine you ask two people the same seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including Courtney Cox, Rob Delaney, Liz Phair, and many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing With The Stars since the very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba and the cha-cha. 24 partners, 6 finals and 2 mirrorball trophies.

She knows all the secrets, the behind-the-scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting. Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, guys. Hi. Dude, this episode is batshit hilarious. This episode is batshit crazy. Casey could not understand.

She was like, wait a second. You're telling me you wore that hat just for that ending? Just for that one shot? But it was worth it. Yeah, I was like, wait a second. You're telling me you wore that hat just for that ending? Just for that one shot? But it was worth it. She's like, what the hell are you wearing? And I was like, it's to pay off. I think this is one of the funniest

episodes. I mean, if you like the silly ones, this is one of the best episodes, the silliest funniest episodes in five seasons. This is one of the best episodes, the silliest, funniest episodes in five seasons. This is probably, first of all, I'm not going to say it's the silliest one. It's up there, dude. There's an ostrich wearing a Kango. Yeah, yes, yes.

It has some really, really, really out there moments. I will say that. There's a robot. There's a robot. There's a robot. There's a robot. There's a Jewish robot. Yeah. And then the joke, why did I make him Jewish? My parents are going to kill me.

But, dude, I laugh. I had to pause to laugh because I was missing shit. That's how funny. So if you're listening to this show, guys, and you're not always going back and watching them or you're not watching along, you have to go back and watch this one because it is really

really really funny. For some reason, these last two episodes, I remember shooting these last two episodes and I remembered watching these last two episodes. For some reason, these are two episodes that I've seen quite a bit. It's My Big Bird, by the way. 508.

Right, Joel? It's My Big Bird, by the way, 508, right, Joelle? Yeah, My Big Bird. It's written by Deb Fordham and Rob Greenberg, who's become a, was always a big showrunner, and he was married to Gabby Allen Greenberg, one of our main writers, and now he's become a big filmmaker. But he did a really good job.

It's also really well-directed. And I don't know. I want to catch up with you, but I couldn't be on the Zoom and not be like, how fucking funny was that episode? I took like, we're not going to get to everything I wrote down. I filled a page of notes with just the cold open. Oh, shit. You went hard. Dude, I was laughing.

I was sitting here like this, like with my head in my hands laughing. Yeah. I remembered making this episode. There were so many my head in my hands laughing. Yeah. I remembered making this episode. There were so many great moments in it. Anyway. How are you? How's life? I'm great.

Life is good. You know, I'm still a bit under the weather. Right. But you don't have the Delta. I do not have the Delta. People are getting that Delta left and right, bro. Yeah, but listen, it's not. Okay, so here's where the misinformation is coming in

yes there are breakthroughs but the number of breakthroughs compared to the number of people not vaccinated is fractional let's put it that way the people that are getting it that are not vaccinated is ginormous compared to the people that- They're going to fucking reshut down LA County. Yes. Yeah. We thought we- You know, when they said 100 million people in America, that wasn't enough to reach herd immunity. Did we even make it to 100 million?

I don't know. But listen, here in New York City, we're in much better shape. He pantomimed smoking a cigarette. I know. You guys are doing well there. A lot of people got it. Well, not good. I mean, I know a few people that got it,

and they're double vaccinated and got it, and they said it's not, you know, the vax makes it not bad. They have, like, a bad cold. But then I know another guy who got it who had both vaccinations and said it was bad. He said he had a fever. I mean, not hospital bad, but he said he had a fever for eight days and he was in bad shape.

Right. That's the crazy thing is they're saying that, you know, it's a few breakthroughs, but it's crazy how we seem to know people that the breakthroughs are happening to. Well, I think everyone will start to know people. It's just, you know, I mean, to be blunt, not enough of the country is willing to get vaccinated, so we just have to do it the hard way. It's just going to be like people are going to get

the fucking Delta now, and then we're just going to wait until everyone's had it or been vaccinated. Yeah, but even if you had it, all of this doesn't mean you can't get it again that's the problem so it's like you know there was this movie and the band played on back in the day and it's about you know how aids how they almost they had aids

contained and it was something like we could contain it if we just make this move and people didn't want to make the move. And, you know, for 10 years, 20 years, HIV AIDS wrecked havoc in a lot of communities. Right. It would be a damn shame if we were this close, like it seemed, to getting rid of this virus. this close like it seemed to getting rid of this virus. And because a bunch of people, you know, I can't, I can't, I don't want to go down this path and freaking blame people, but I will say, I do want to say this. I get, you can't convince anybody to do this, but this thing isn't going to go away because that people didn't vaccine.

I'm just going to put it out there. That's real talk. I can't. If you want to say it in the most benign way, you just did, which is you can't force anyone to do it, but the reason this is coming right back around is because not enough people got vaccinated. That's it. And I'd be livid if I had kids too, man, because the kids are vulnerable.

The kids can get it. And anyway, sorry, let's go. Let's change topics. I was in such a good mood from watching this episode. I'm going to get all worked up. Okay, well, let's not do that. I know how to change topics. What you trying to get into a day or soon?

What you trying to do? Fried chicken. Now listen, Casey's theme song, we have to say uh was written i think it premiered in the previous episode but we didn't we didn't um ever explain it it's lyrics and melody by zach braff vocals and harmonies by donald fazan and produced by jessica weiss our friend who is blowing up she's carrie brother's wife right now well she's on fuego it's her husband how about that yes carrie brothers is her husband carrie brothers played um instruments on the hit casey jingle track uh but we want to thank jess who did it she's she's really blowing up as a composer right

now she did that new uh cinderella camilla cabello cinderella which is uh is that out yet it's out no it's not no it's not i'm checking the amazon really soon it might be out but uh we're really proud of her because she's she's blowing up and she's doing really really well um and when you see the camilla cabello cinderella which looks really really fun um that's her and it wasn't like it was like big like full orchestra shit not like her and a guitar and a keyboard like she did it right anyway so thank you jess for producing the casey things on i'm casey we're gonna make it a ringtone right joelle you're on that yes a lot of you yeah casey casey came

casey made sure to remind you guys yo when so when's my shit gonna be a ringtone yeah first casey loves her theme song and she was very excited about it and then she quickly was like when's that shit gonna be a ringtone and when can i get it as my ringtone casey come down here i don't know nothing about raising these fools tell me what to do I don't know nothing about raising these fools. Tell me what to do. I don't know nothing about raising these kids. And that's what it is. Yeah.

Cinderella comes out in a week. So check it out. September 3rd. It looks really good. And she can really act, Kamiya Cabello. And the music's amazing. So there you go. I'm plugging our friend Jess Weiss.

There you go. Let's get into the show. Five, six, seven, eight. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show.

Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show.

Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show.

Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show.

Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. Let's get into the show. And here's a story that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. I just can't believe how much is packed into this episode. Like every 10 seconds, there's a huge funny bit. Dude, first of all, I wanted just to to say it opens up with you pulling into the parking lot of this uh quickie mart i guess it would be right yeah and uh look smooth on the scooter dude you look like you knew what you were doing you jumped off look kind of cool on this you

know what i mean like i always that's always something it would i know you and i know how much you ride motor You ride motorcycles. You ride scooters. I ride my bicycle around Manhattan, which is advanced. Why is that advanced? I don't understand what that means. Riding a bicycle around Manhattan is like double black diamond. 100%.

Everyone wants to kill you. Everyone wants to kill you. And now, not to digress. Not to take the bike trails? Not to digress. Bro, not to digress. Not to take the bike trails? Not to digress, bro. Not to digress from your point, but what's happened since I've been here in Manhattan is that there's so many delivery men on electric bikes, and some of them are electric scooters, and obviously the police don't have the manpower to like fucking regulate any of this.

So these dudes are on the sidewalks. They're going the wrong direction. It's fucking mayhem. And you just got to be like, it's like Frogger, but death. It's like Coruscant. I don't know what Coruscant is. That's where they do the speed racing in Star Wars.

No, it's not. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Coruscant is the capital of the universe in Star Wars. That's where the Empress... Oh, Joelle, you just got Star Wars trivia wrong. Joelle, you just got Star Wars trivia wrong. I'm sure they do race. I'm sure they do race on Coruscant.

Where's my boo? That's the toilet. You can have a toilet, Joelle. Thank you, Zach. That's not cool. Respect the queen, bro. I respect the queen, but the queen got Star Wars trivia wrong, and I'm really upset about it.

It happens to everyone, dude. You never get Star Wars trivia wrong. Absolutely, I do. Really? Absolutely. Who lives in the Dagobah system? Well, there's Yoda. But he exiled himself there. Thank you both for responding to my text because sometimes you guys ignore me,

but when I saw there's a giant new Star Wars Lego ship I sent you guys. Yeah, there is. It's huge, Donald. It's beautiful. You know, it's huge, Donald. What is it? What ship is it? Wait, what was it?

Joelle, what ship is it? I got to look. I don't remember. It's like 1,200 pieces. It looked really cool, though. Wow. Respect the queen, yo. Sorry. I don't know. It was like 1,200 pieces. It looked really cool, though. Wow. Respect the queen, yo. Sorry.

Cut that shit out. Just go on the Donald Joel. We pulled Daniel off this one chat for Star Wars related things. I was going to say, I missed this one. No, Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. We used to like to include you in stuff,

but then what happened was your interest, you started saying, yeah, you can miss me on that. I'm not a big Star Wars fan, so we had to cut you off the Star Wars. No, that's not true. When did I ever say that? That's not true, actually. You said that to my face. You said I'm not a big Star Wars fan. Didn't he say that, Joel?

I'm not as big of a Star Wars fan as y'all. No, that's not what I ever said. Miss me with that. Then you can't be on a text. Bro, that's not what happened. That's not what happened. Daniel, what happened? I'm the one who started the Joel Donald text chain,

which is solely Star Wars fan geek shit because they have their own podcast that they're going to do called The Black Side. So, Daniel, I didn't think that you wanted to know about some weird thing on Reddit I find about Star Wars or some new Lego ship about Star Wars. Have all of the

group chats you want. I just thought I wanted to make sure that I didn't miss something. Oh, he's pissed, Donald. Oh, jeez. Not at all. No, no. A little peek behind the curtain for everybody who's watching.

You may remember my first major appearance on the podcast was complaining about Spectrum. And here I am having my own internet issues. And it gets me heated. I'll tell you what. Okay. But that's all. That's all. So I'm not.

Trust me. I'm thrilled to know that there is a Star Wars exclusive group chat. I'm just sitting here waiting for a text from AT&T to tell me that the technicians come into my house. Imagine just out of nowhere, imagine out of nowhere, Daniel's like, I don't give a fuck about Star Wars. Yeah. Okay? Daniel looks a bit heated. Fuck Star Wars.

Daniel's a bit heated. He's like, I don't give a shit! My fucking cable is out! That means I can't twitch! I can't make it rain! He can't twitch. He can't ride the pole.

It's like a stripper having no pole. Oh my goodness! My pole's down. His pole is down. I'm out of control today. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's funny. Dude, you're like a stripper that's looking at the pole being like, I need the fucking pole up, bro. What are you doing? The ship was the UCS Star Wars Republic gunship, and there are 3,300 pieces to it.

Yeah. John, are you getting that shit? No. Yeah, I'm going to get it. Yeah, get it for me. I like to get Legos to procrastinate writing. Lego, Lego, there's no S. There's no S.

Fuck off. No one fucking cares, bro. Nobody cares. If I do, there's got to be at least 47 people that do also. Of the thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that listen to this, there's probably seven people that care about the S on the end of the fucking Lego. Sorry, seven people. You're welcome, seven people.

I like to get giant Lego projects for when I'm supposed to be writing, and then I say, I'm going to write once I finish the spaceship. A little procrastination that comes with a finished product. Be like, no, I waste time. Look at this. It's beautiful. You should see the things I've made in trying not to write, to avoid writing. I'm like.

What's the best thing you've made in trying to avoid writing? One of those. You know those like Lego, like for adults, like the houses. It's like in a hotel or the restaurant or the barber shop. I've made a fucking street of those. Yes. Yeah. My dream is to have a whole room that's nothing but Legos.

Yeah, Donald had it. Oh, my goodness. In case he fucking moved in and ruined it. I know. I said Legos. I'm so sorry. There's just multiples of them. An S should be there.

It's just not grammatically correct. I don't like it. Donald, you got to fucking pick your battles. that's a dumb thing to hang your hat on i just hate it when people are like i am such a huge fan i people don't know this about me but me it goes back deep i love me some legos and it's like wait a second dog you're not a huge fan it doesn't go back deep it means jack shit to you because you know there's if it did you would know there's no s at the end that's bullshit i'm a huge fan it goes back deep i remember when i first got my first set i love me some lego that's how it is okay i just want

to say to you it goes back deep for me yeah. It was my favorite toy throughout my childhood. At 46, I still build with Lego. Thank you. There you go. Respect the brand. Oh, my God. You're ridiculous. Let's talk about the show because we're not going to be able to get to this in an hour and a half.

All right. So let's get it. All right. So you pull up on Sasha. Sasha is freshly out of the shower. Yes. Now, if you recall, Sasha was at the bottom of a pothole that was very deep and so she they somehow

resuscitated her and brought her back to life and she's finally out of the shop and I roll her up and then the quickie mart is robbed and the cops pull up and the dude that's robbing the quickie mart

he has a choice. Do I jump behind the wall? Or do I jump behind the scooter? And I'm like, the wall! Behind the wall! And he jumps behind the scooter. Yeah, and they blast the fucking scooter. And I go, who's still shooting?

She's down! Oh my god, that was so funny. Was that, it's over? You saying cut? No, I was Was that it's over you saying cut No I was like it's over I was just riffing random shit I think that's the first time we've had gunfire On Scrubs

That was funny And um That was just so silly Sasha That was very funny That was very very silly And then we go to Sasha! That was very funny. That was very, very silly. Very silly. And then we go to the CAT scan room, or is it an MRI?

I don't know. Don't yell at me, medical professionals. And then that joke about the Sasha Forever bracelet is so funny. Right. My scooter Sasha was assassinated. And then you go, he loves her. He even wore a Sasha Forever bracelet. And I'm like like i don't wear

that anymore and then my i only work for one week and then ding the magnet goes on and the bracelet clicks to the machine that was funny yeah and then i laugh at you and then i get caught and then turk gets caught with the with his watch oh my watch yeah you can't have that metal in that room no i guess not i didn't know yeah yeah that's why That's why they ask you nine times when you have that done. Like, do you have metal on you? Do you have metal implants? Do you have metal in your mouth? Like, you can't have metal in that room.

So this is where all of the silliness really circles around. If you had money, Carla asks because she wants to win the lottery. It's up to $100 million. Carla asks because she wants to win the lot The lottery's up and it's up to $100 million Carla gets lotto fever And starts convincing people in the hospital To buy lotto tickets So that they can all draw

So that when they draw together If the hospital wins $100 million Everybody's rich, right? She then proposes the question Asks the question Or somebody asks her the question If you had $100 million, what would you do? Carla would make it so Turk has a baby.

Yeah. Has the baby, yeah. Carla clearly doesn't want to be pregnant because her fantasy, what she would spend her $100 million on is making her husband pregnant. Right. You look good with that belly, though. Totally, man. It's not an image you see a lot

You could tell the baby had turned by that point too Yes it had turned You were probably dilated Most likely 7 or 8 centimeters I don't know how many centimeters Well I guess it's your asshole right It's not going to come out of your urethra

No It has to be an ass baby They made this movie right with Schwarzenegger? And in the movie, is it a C-section? How did they discuss in the movie? I don't know, but there's a labor scene and he's pushing, so I don't know that it's a C-section. Oh, so it must be an anus baby. Got to be an ass baby.

Joel, can you Google how Arnold Schwarzenegger delivered the baby in that movie? What was that movie called? Pregnant? Kindergarten Cop. Arnold Schwarzenegger has had a very, very, very varied film career. Yes. That is true. I mean, look at the canon.

It goes from all those crazy action movies to Kindergarten Cop. Right. What's it called, Joelle? Junior. It's called Junior? From all those crazy action movies to Kindergarten Cop. Right. You know. What's it called, Joelle? Junior. It's called Junior? I'm trying to figure out how the baby was born. Yes. I'm sure there's a Reddit thread called, how did he possibly give birth?

My guess is it's an ass baby. That's my personal guess. Yeah. I mean, there's only one option. It's not through the urethra, so it's an ass baby. It's definitely a C-section. Oh, it's a C-section. But Donald said he pushed.

I'm watching the scene on YouTube, and they're definitely slicing him open. Is he asleep when they slice him open? No, they say very specifically, you're going to be awake for this. Oh, Donald, you might remember that he probably had contractions. Got it. I would have been funnier if they made it an ass baby. I don't like that they chose C-section. I love the idea of the baby having to travel to the small and lower intestines.

No, I think they would just connect whatever they implanted in him. They somehow connect to the lower rectum. Could you please say it's in his colon? Push. Like he literally shit a baby. Yeah, you know that these people who wrote this fucking movie must have sat there around the table being like, so do we do Ass Baby or do we do C-section?

Ass Baby. What was happening in 94 that this got made? I wish I was in that writer's room. I would have been like, guys, I'm very honored to be on this project. I'm very grateful. I will leave if it's not ass baby i will walk if we as a team chicken out and it's c-section i'm off the project guys this is the craziest thing i've ever viewed in my entire life oh no

all right so uh So Turk's pregnant. That's what she would do with the money. Oh, my God. This part's so funny. So Elliot's made out with a patient's father, and she comes running into the nurse's station, and you and I are standing there. And then Carlos says, I can't believe you'd do that. And then they stop, and then we turn, and simultaneously. What did you do?

Was it naughty? Like, we say that at the same time, right? And then they use their secret technique. They start talking about shoe shopping, which apparently makes all men. Distracted and thinking. Totally zone out and go, you know, almost like a trance. It's a hypnotic trance. They're just not there anymore.

And then she pops us back with the words lace bra. And we're like, huh? And then you go, be specific. And I go, were they Ds? Ds? Dude, this episode had me rolling It is so fucking silly Lace bra

With a D Be specific We were in a trance Alright, so then Just Because literally every scene Has something huge and broad So Johnny Castle

Doug Has a body that's The rigor mortis has set in And he needs Ted Ted the lawyer's help. Right. To help straighten him out because he's not going to fit in the body bag sitting up. Right.

To hold the legs down. To hold the legs down. So Ted, why is Ted watching the little TV? Is that for the lottery? Yeah, because he's the one that told, that's exactly it. Ted's the one that told Carla that the lottery is up to $100 million. He's the one that asks Carla what would she do for the money. He puts the idea in her mind, so he's holding it because.

All right, but why is he, I don't understand the idea that he, like the lottery's not going to be announced for like at least 24 hours, right? Why is he holding the TV? I have no idea. He's passing time in the hospital holding a tiny TV. Yes. Okay, so he's got a tiny TV. We think he's waiting for the lottery announcement.

He lies on the legs. Johnny pushes the patient's dead body down, and Ted goes flying out the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of three giant window gags in this episode alone. Okay, so that's Ted

and Johnny Castle. Mr. Foster dies. Right. And then we enter the world of because when a patient dies unexpectedly, I'm assuming there's a morbidity and mortality conference,

which is what we get called to do. And then the whole structure of this episode becomes really unique that it's flashing back to and from the morbidity and mortality conference. And do you remember the song we made up at this conference? Turn around in urgent care. Turn around in urgent care. Turn around. So this is so random that no one will get unless we explain, but the urgent care section of the hospital was, was what we, of the old hospitals, we used to build sets. So like swing sets, we call them swing sets, sets that weren't necessarily in every episode. It could be the bar some weeks, it could be Jason Bateman's apartment this week.

It just, you know, they would swing. They would swing around different sets. And this conference, we were shooting at a real auditorium like that, and it was so late. And the turnaround, which would be facing that dais with Cox and Kelso on it with just a blue curtain, we were all like, it's so late. Couldn't you guys just set this blue curtain up in this dais in urgent care? And remember, Randall, the producer, was like, maybe, maybe, maybe. We'll talk about that later.

But come on, we're going to keep shooting. And we were all so tired. And we all started chanting, turn around in urgent care. Turn around in urgent care. We got in trouble for that. Yeah, they didn't like that. But it was so fucking funny that we remember that

this many years later that night yelling Turn Around in Urgent Care. I remember making that. Because the crew got into it too. They were tired too. They were like, Turn Around in Urgent Care.

It was late. It was late. Oh my God. I laughed out loud, dude, at me crawling to Carla's microphone at the conference. To freaking talk on it. I can't find a hot mic, so I just keep crawling.

And then I just go back and sit down, and he asks me another question, and I start crawling back. And he goes, Dr. Dorian, I'm eight feet from you. I can hear you. Well, I don't know. Okay, so we'll get to it at the end of the show also. But Cox is the one that blames everybody for this person's death. He's like, I'm betting it's one of you guys' fault. Yeah.

He thinks we fucked up. Right. And we'll get to what happens at the end. Okay. But let's just let that. We also learned that JD has a hug schedule. Okay. For he and Turk.

And others. No, is it just, I think it's others too. All I know is he gives Turk a hug in the morning. Well, you were scheduled for two and you pissed me off. I cross you off. Then you express that you're upset about it and you hear the voice of it go, he's hurting. Hug him now. And then you go to hug me.

And obviously I was hurting because I go to hug you too. And then we get interrupted. Was that the waffle foot thing or is that a different section? I think it's waffle foot thing. Yeah, that's the waffle foot thing, dude. Did you laugh at waffle foot? I cracked up at waffle foot. I laughed so hard at waffle foot. I could not stop. Do you remember having to put on the gag for waffle foot? No, I don't remember it, but I'm sure it was difficult because I'm very ticklish on the bottom of my feet. Like if I get a massage, I can't, don't remember it but i'm sure it was difficult because i'm very ticklish on the bottom of my feet like if i get a massage i can't like they can't i don't like my feet touch like i i get

so ticklish so i can't imagine how i survived them putting a waffle prosthetic on my foot but it looked great they did a good job okay do you recall do you recall the reason why he got waffle footed um yeah i think i i pissed off the cafeteria staff. I wrote this down. Oh, yeah. The calf workers, I accused them of giving me smaller waffles than others. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I'm assuming this was Troy had something to do with this. And Crazy Eyes Margo, right?

They got together and they waffled my foot. They waffled your foot which is like really like that's brutal that's like a felony that's brutal that's brutal that's brutal oh you're gonna complain about the wall then this is what happened this is this is what this means one of them was like complain about a wall for one more time to me yeah just do it one more time. I'm going to waffle your foot. And JD with pride with all of his pride was like, I'm just saying

his waffle seems a little bit bigger than mine. If you look at the scale, my waffles do appear smaller. And at that moment they grabbed you, took you in back and then waffled your foot. I like to think that Crazy Eyes Margo tackled me and held me down until Troy could come get me. Right, until Troy subdued.

I mean, it's so bizarre. God, this episode has so much. We introduced, first of all, oh, my God, the fucking janitor's fantasy of what he would do with the $100 million. Yeah, dude. He would train a shark. Right. Casey was like, what the fuck is100 million. Yeah. He would train a shark. Right. Casey was like, what the fuck is this? Well, this is at least a fantasy.

I mean, at least this is a fantasy. The ostriches are in the real world. That's the real world. That's real world. So the janitor in his fantasy has trained a shark. Not only has he trained the shark, but the shark is able to communicate through walkie-talkies yeah that's how that's he spent all that money that's what he spent the money on right but the shark isn't just trained to kill the shark can will respond to walkie-talkie communication yeah not not only respond to walkie-talkie communication can understand it

and and and there's a bunch of commands there There were at least two. Yeah. What was the first one? Stand down. He goes, wait for him. Wait for him. And then he goes, the lobster's in the pool. Right. So he trained the shark. Sorry, the lobster's in the pot.

The lobster's in the pot. So he trained the shark to understand code words also. Yes. The shark is very smart. Very smart. $100 million smart. Yeah, but also, like, does the shark wear a headset or is the shark? It's implanted.

It has to be implanted. Yeah, because when I saw it, I pictured the shark had, like, a walkie-talkie headset. The shark's jabberjaw. Do you remember jabberjaw? They call him jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber, jabberjaw. No, but this is- I'm the most stupidest shark you ever saw. He's a shark that could talk and walk on land named Jabba Jaw.

I never saw that, but this was- Hanna-Barbera. It was very reminiscent of Jaws. I think the stuntman had lines tied to my waist. You had to be on some type of – No, yeah. It wasn't without help. You couldn't have done that.

But I think as I recall, the stuntman had like – they were like one on either side of the pool and they had lines tied to my waist. I probably had like a stunt waist belt-y thing on. And then they were just ripping me around the pool. Crazy. I remember thinking like this is probably going to hurt tomorrow. Yeah. pool crazy i remember thinking like this is probably gonna hurt tomorrow yeah okay then we also introduce the legendary floating head doctor in this episode what a fuck listen what was going on in the writer's room when they were like we're gonna shoot the whole thing i want to we gotta

redo this we gotta redo this episode with Bill because this is like such a tipping point like crescendo of silliness in the world. Who was like, we should do a bit where a floating head has to freaking perform CPR on somebody.

They weren't really stoners. Yeah, they had to be. Come on, bro. We know them all. They weren't big potheads.. Yeah, they had to be. Come on, bro. Think of them. We know them all. They weren't big potheads. Some of this is such silly stoner humor. That's what I said to my wife.

I was like, babe, this is like the epitome of what it means. In fact, Deb, who's the main writer on it, was probably the most straight-laced writer of them all. Far from it, right. She was, and I'm sure is religious, and she was very funny, obviously, but she was like the least stonery silly. Yeah. Anyway, we'll be right back with more Floating Head Doctor after these words. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where the bright side comes in.

A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look

from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums, but I've created a solution. many tears and tantrums, but I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed

with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools,

LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,

a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to

grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. Me connecting, me talking raw in the moment.

That's what my goal is to give you. To talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift. What my responsibilities are as a person with cancer. Because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. We are back. KC, come down. KC. It's a bop, right? It's good. Joelle, don't you think it's a bop? No, I really, I'm sorry, I'm just signing my head and not giving vocal confirmation that it is fun as hell.

It's really fun. Oh, Daniel, Daniel, the DJ says it's a bop. It's a bop and a half. And the new version is really clean. Yeah, Jess didn't phone it in. She really produced the fuck out of it. I like to sing it when I'm cooking. It's hooky.

I walk around my apartment singing it. Total earworm. Do you think I should write jingles as my side career, guys? I mean, we got two hit songs. We got three hit songs. I know What you trying to get into What you trying to get into

What you trying to do What you trying to get into I feel like I could be the new John Tesh I will be at your Red Rock That's an old reference that Young people that listen won't get. We've spoken about it on the podcast. He was an Entertainment Tonight host who wrote Jingles.

All right. So floating head doctor, I yell, body come. Now, my body is down in the gym working out next to Richard Wells. Did you notice Richard Wells? Yes, I did notice Richard Wells. The very handsome African-American man next to my body working out is our best first assistant director of the whole run. Yes, and he became the UPM. He became the unit production manager, and he's a really, really amazing guy.

And so he had a little cameo there. I think he has a few cameos throughout the show. Yeah, he also, he's directed a few episodes. He'll soon direct a few episodes also. Yes, he did direct some. We love Richard. And Body Wipes Out into the wall. The post.

Yeah, the post, yeah. So I have to do CPR just by slamming my head. With your head, yeah. That's weed, man. That's got to be weed. It's got to be weed. I know, listen, it's got to be weed. It's got to be weed. I know, Deb. I know.

Listen, it's got to be some type of narcotic that has pushed forth hallucinogen. It's something that only happens in really fun comedy writers' rooms where everybody gets so batty and silly, and they just start pitching the silliest stuff, and everyone's cracking up. And they just, you know, it's probably late night, and you just cracking up and they just you know it's probably late night and you just come up with some silly ass shit it's crazy the ostriches that we've stumbled across now okay hold on let's go back let's talk about jason bateman being on yeah bateman the jason bateman i know why we skipped over it because what the fuck is Jason Bateman doing on the show this could have been anybody

I know the story Jason and I were friends and Arrested Development and Scrubs were both doing really really well and we were at some cocktail party with the head of Fox and the head of NBC and I had a buzz

and of Fox and the head of NBC. And I had a buzz and Jason and I were chatting and I was like, I want to be on your show. And he's like, I want to be on your show. I was like, hey, the heads of the different networks are here. Let's go ask them if they'll be okay with us being on. You know, it was a party. Everyone was having fun. And I was like, hey, so-and-so, can I be on a Fox show just as a guest spot?

And he was like, sure. And then, hey, so-and-so, can I be? Jason was like, can I be on the NBC show? And they were like, sure. And literally, that's how it happened. And then we told Bill, and I did a cameo as a never nude on Arrested Development. You were a fucking never nude? Yeah.

I was a never nude on Arrested Development. And then this was Jason's cameo. And I think he, I'm assuming he only was available for like a day because – Dude, I think he maybe had like four lines in the whole show. Yeah, he didn't have much to do. We should have given him more. But he's Jason Bateman. He's funny doing anything.

Yeah. But that's how it came about. So we stumble on the ostriches. Okay, we come across the ostriches okay we come across the ostriches we come across the sign first and the sign says beware of and we have to wipe it and it says birds and we laugh and I've got

on this silly red Kango by the way I was with Brett Goldstein and Bill, Brett Goldstein plays Roy Kent on Ted Lasso and I was telling him I was telling Bill we're about to get to the ostrich episode. And it's so funny. And I watched something hilarious,

which was Bill with the giggles pitch to Brett. The micro plot of you and I. And it was hilarious because Bill has an incredible memory. And without watching the episode, he was recounting the shots. He's like, and then Brett, and it was hilarious because Bill has an incredible memory, and without watching the episode, he was recounting the shots. He's like, and then, and then Brett, and then Brett, you see one of the ostrich's legs slowly close the gate.

They're organized! They're organized. And then I go, and then I go, there goes the century. There goes the century. There goes the century. Every three minutes, like clockwork. So in the world of scrubs, everybody, not in a fantasy. No. The ostriches.

Ostriches can be trained. Can be trained. Yes, go ahead. They were trained. First of all, they purposefully trapped us by closing the gate. Yes. They treat us. They treat us, yes. which i think is a verb and um and then they i fall down because i'm i want to give you a hug of course we had to

find a reason why jd fell out of the tree because you thought it was a good time to hug you that ostriches that it's funny to me because i remember how they shot that shit but the ostrich peeking from behind the tree yeah that was the only that was a fake ostrich that yes that made me laugh harder than anything because i remember how they shot that shit i remember this whole thing oh my god and so yeah so then the ostrich kicks me through jason bateman's window right because we find out that oh because you're you've you've googled it on your phone they're usually docile creatures but their kick can kill someone yes and then you hear you go flying through right and i get kicked into mr sutton's living room You go flying through a window. Right.

And I get kicked into Mr. Sutton's living room where Jason says, aren't they so majestic? I make belts with their necks. Right. And he pulls out off his belt. Right. And then I get kicked in through the window. Oh, my God. The funniest dude is when you go, I go, why didn't you escape?

And you go, I did escape. They were waiting in the car. So the ostriches have gotten into the car, you guys. Yeah. Okay, and then Jason says that's Leon. Loves a car ride. And then I go

that ostrich stole my hat. Right, my Kango. My Kango. Now I took a picture of it because I wanted to i just i wanted to send it to bill to just let him know where we're at but look at this that's an ostrich wearing a kango don donald i don't know if pita would be down with however they strapped that kango to that ostrich's head i'm sure it was i'm sure it was done the right way yeah it was i'm kidding there's's always an animal safety person on set.

That's right. But the ostrich was indeed wearing a Kanga. It might be the first. Do you think it's the only ostrich who's ever worn a Kanga in history of Earth? I doubt that. Why? Why can't we be so bold as to say that? Because you thought of it,

and so therefore it's a possibility that it's doubt that. Why? Why can't we be so bold as to say that? Because you thought of it, and so therefore it's a possibility that it's happened before. You know that thing I do in Garden State where my character is like, you know, I'd like to do something I've never thought of before, and I make Natalie make random noises, because I used to really do that as a kid. I would be like, I had this little weird

game I made up as a young kid where I would be like, I want to be original. No one has ever stood on this spot, put their head like this, put their hand like this, and be like, blah, blah, blah. And I'd make some weird long noise. And I'm like, no one's ever done that. In the history of Earth, no one has ever done that. But you could be wrong.

And that's why I put it into Garden State, right? So I'm just sitting here thinking, I think in the history of mankind, no one has ever strapped a camo to an ostracized. You're absolutely wrong. Joelle, your thoughts? I believe that because it looks so cute and sweet when he walked in. I don't even like birds terrify me. This is honestly my worst nightmare.

But if he looks so cute as a book, I don't like birds. They're either like rats with wings and disgusting or horrifying birds of prey uh that will keep me up at night uh i there's been ravens outside my window calling all morning i don't like it i close my windows i like birds singing uh sure that's pretty as long as it's very far away from me i don't like the flapping and in my face they like beaks of death i have a weird thing with birds in cages i always feel so bad for them because you're supposed to be out there flying in the sky far away i'm sorry i'm sorry you listeners who love birds including my mom who has little parakeets in cages it's just

i always feel like oh let them fly i agree but it's cute so yes probably other uh ostriches have worn kangos before i don't know if any of themiches have worn Kangos before. I don't know if any of them have had red Kangos that look this great. I don't agree, Joel. I think that... Daniel, what are your thoughts? Has an ostrich ever worn a Kango in the history of mankind? Yes. I don't think so. I think you're original on this one.

You honor me. You honor me. Thank you. Alright. There's the ostriches. out there's like fuck y'all man i came up with that shit right it's like eddie murphy when he was the black member of the beatles she loves you well she loves you man she's got a ticket to ride with she's got a ticket to ride but the bitch don't care man i forgot that sketch that's so funny it was a whole bit about him being the fifth beetle and being kicked out yeah yeah yeah um i suggest you take that that's our casting tone out your voice

all right so um we learned that uh cox it would spend his $100 million putting Jordan in a glass box. Right. So he could watch this sport. Krista takes her boobie out and puts it on the glass. It's glorious. It was sexy. Glorious. I don't mean any disrespect to Bill Lawrence, but his wife's boobie in that bra on the glass was glorious

it was glorious and she's licking the glass too yep donald yep you shifted i'm not gonna say that man i don't want i don't want to listen man i i think krista who doesn't listen to the show i'm sure would be honored that you shifted well then if then, if that's the case, yes, I did have a shift. Wait, Osaras would spend $100 million building a husband robot? Yeah, a robot husband. And then the husband goes,

Mazel Tov. And she goes, Oh, why did I make him Jewish? My parents would kill me. Yeah. I didn't realize that you know marrying a Jewish man was still considered

I guess back in the early 2000s of course there's people that don't want there's so many people who are anti-semitic my point is I didn't think I didn't know that Elliot's parents were one of those people well if you remember them they're like cartoonishly waspy Connecticut.

They're probably not down with the Jewish robot. They probably would prefer a Protestant robot. Or Episcopalian robot. Who wears loafers and is really good at squash. wears loafers and is really good at squash. Squash is the whitest sport ever. Squash? Yeah.

You'd probably be great at it, Donald. I do love hitting. I want to play pickleball with you. That's squash, dude, pretty much, isn't it? No. Squash is like racquetball vibes,ball is um i don't i can't see how squash could be considered i mean like handball hitting the ball against the wall can't be considered like white sports because white sports it seems like were the expensive sports and i feel like all you need is a wall to play and no it's, it's just like, I mean, it's just a synonymous.

I mean, I could be wrong, but I equate it with like the country club and like, do you want to play like those guys in trading places? Should we play squash? You know? Right. It's like rich guy racquetball. Yep. Got it.

Right, Daniel? Yeah, I agree with that. If you see a squash court, it's always like a really like fancy thing, and everybody's got their, you know, their nice white songs. It's like croquet. It. It's like croquet. It's kind of like croquet. I always- Should we play croquet after squash, Paul?

And then have a glass of milk? And she stepped on the ball. That's part of another Eddie Murphy movie. Oh. And she stepped on the ball. Step on the ball. Elliot is duct taped to the wall with the phrase, I'm a whore? Yes.

Which was another funny little side piece, side story. She gets tricked by a man. He convinces her that he's not married by just telling her his wife's not around. So she automatically thinks his wife has passed away. They kiss. Turns out he still has a wife. She just wasn't around in the room at the time. Then Elliot convinces him, because she thinks he's scum, to go in there and fess up to his wife what he's done.

Yeah. And then after she's done it, she realizes, wait, this could backfire against me and it was so funny sarah was so funny in the in that in that scene where he's headed in there to look he's like wait what wait wait no no no no no no no no no no no no that woman was good too she did a good job whore yeah she screams she's screams that she's a whore. And then Elliot runs into the room where we're all in, and she's like, where is that whore? And she's hiding. And then Elliot finally gets the cojones to step up and say, look, we've both been wronged here.

It's not my fault. It's not your fault. It's his fault. But she doesn't want to hear it. But she doesn't want to hear it. The wife doesn't want to hear it. And she's like, do you know what I do to whores? Do you want to know what I do to whores?

How did that woman do that? I mean, she had to incapacitate Elliot. Yes. And then, and then somehow, maybe Troy and crazy eyes Margo helped, but someone had to help her duct tape Elliot to the wall.

Yeah. Never, never really explained. Yeah. And then one of the last most bizarre things in this fucking episode is that I... Jason Bateman's character makes me feel bad for not appreciating garbage men.

So I wait by the garbage for my garbage man, whose name is Jabari. Jabari? Yeah, I definitely made that up because there was a Jabari in my high school. And Jabari grabs my ass. Yeah, yeah. No, yes, yes. Jabari, you go to hug Jabari and then he grabs your ass, yes. I can't imagine how awkward it is. That was definitely made up on the day. But Bill or someone was like, wouldn't it be funny if he grabbed your ass and like saying

to that guy like hey sir how are you nice to meet you um so we're gonna hug and then if you wouldn't mind would you squeeze my ass okay so i have one beat about this whole thing this whole episode so So Cox is there the whole time. The whole time Cox is there. In the hospital. In the hospital. Right. He's there talking about the lotto stuff. He talks to Sarah's character.

He talks to you and I's character. I see you're saying there's a plot hole. Yeah. How can he sit here and talk about there being nothing being covered when he's there the whole time? Well, that's a good point. But he can't, you know, he's no Superman, Donald.

He can't cover the entire hospital. I totally understand that. He can't cover the entire... I think in all honesty, someone died who shouldn't have died, and Cox is pissed. He's like, you guys fucked up. You left it to the interns?

No, but that's not what happened. He died from a pulmonary embolism. Right. We learned that reveal in the end from Johnny Castle running in. But I think at the time, Cox is kind of bringing down the hammer. He's like, fuck- ups are going to happen, but you guys fucked up and now we need to talk about accountability. I can't fucking, I can't be the only doctor in this hospital. Where the fuck were you guys?

You, because of all your fucking mishigas, you left this to the interns and he's dead. You know, I understand that he was genuinely pissed off and wanted them to be held accountable. But then once they're off the wanted them to be held accountable. But then once they're off the hook, he's still upset. Yeah. Well, they're off the hook because they got lucky that it was actually something they had no control over,

but they shouldn't be out chasing ostriches and fucking hooking up with patients' parents and were obsessing about the lottery. Like, there's lives to be saved. They can't be fucking around. The whole hospital was obsessing about the lottery. Like there's lives to be saved. They can't be fucking around. The whole hospital was obsessing about the lottery too. And then that was really beautiful. Of course, classic Bill Lawrence, you know, this is the silliest fucking episode so far. And then it ends with the ghost following us all around. That was beautiful.

Casey started crying. She's like, oh my God. I mean, that's the magic of Scrubs man and we can say that because we didn't write it but the fact that this dude

and his posse Bill and his entourage can have you looking at an ostrich with a Kango hat and then the next scene you have tears in your eyes because

because something is so beautiful that was really good yeah great episode great episode I'm telling you if you just listen to this show and you don't go watch them watch that one again it is

it is so funny and if you do enjoy jazz cabbage um you should enjoy it's great if you're a weed smoker it will pair nicely with jazz cabbage it pairs well um joelle do we have a guest we do um all right so we're gonna take, so we're going to take a break. We're going to empty our bladders. Yes. And we will be right back with a really fun guest. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in, a new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.

I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.

We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret.

I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums. But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress,

they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million night's sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their

stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast,

Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you,

to talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

We watch your Wits app and download. And we're back. Wu-Tang forever. Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-W a lot less weed. A lot, lot less weed, dude. Like a lot, lot less weed. I went from smoking a crap ton of weed a day to smoking very little weed a day. And it actually feels better than smoking a crap ton of weed. I think when you get to the crap ton of weed, you get that addicted shit.

And when you smoke just a little, I don't know. I know of too many people that are addicted to weed. Like, anyone who says weed isn't addictive is bullshit. Out of their mind, they're lying. I know people that are like a different person now because all they do is smoke weed. Yeah. And I think that's a damn shame. It is a damn shame.

Listen, Joel, who do you have for us today? We got a caller who gave us a holler. We can talk, start wars, or sing, show tunes, you know, like a baller. Smoke some jazz cabbage, maybe talk about the episode. So come on, Joelle, let's get the show on the road. Give it up for Noelle! Hi, Noel. Don't act so surprised, your highness.

Noel has a shocked face on. You knew you were going to be on the podcast. Yes, but when you see Donald Faison and Joel Moniz. Don't act so surprised. When she's fanning herself like they do in the movies, like they do in church. Fanning her eyes to stop her from crying. Noelle, nice to meet you. Welcome.

Thank you for having me. Oh, yeah. Anytime. You're very welcome. Where are you calling us from? Oh, I'm calling from a padunk town, Rolla, Missouri. Though I'm literally from St. Louis. Rolla, Missouri, even though you really from St. Louis. Rolla, Missouri, even though you're from St. Louis.

What do you do in Rolla, Missouri, Noelle? Oh, I'm working from home. Yeah, like a lot of people are. Yeah, you've done a lot of decorating in your beautiful home there, Noelle. Do my best. You audience would get that joke if you saw that Noelle has just a blank white wall behind her. And a lamp. And a lamp.

She's got to be able to see. What do you do, Noelle? What is your work that you do from home? Oh, I process payroll for an international company called Premium Retail Services. Okay. Are you able to skim a little something something off the top without them knowing? No. No. No.

Okay. Because there was that movie. What movie was that, Donald, where they realized that the percentage of tiny cents they steal is the little something. Office Space. Office Space. Oh, Office Space. That masterpiece of a movie. Yeah, you could pull an Office Space, Noel, and just see what happens.

They get caught at the end. Noel, I'm going to recommend you don't do that. Don't do that, Noel. But, Noel, I'm just saying since you know this and you're in charge of payroll, you should look at office space and just see if it's viable for you. I recommend watching office space because it's very funny. I do not think you should watch it for research on how you should pull a heist. because it's very funny. I do not think you should watch it for research on how you should pull a heist.

I'm just saying, I had never spoken to someone who's actually in payroll and I just wanted to know if she's considered embezzling like they did in Office Space. Right. I don't think that's the movie to watch. Right. We don't promote embezzlement on this show, Noel.

I don't know why you brought it up. Noel, welcome. Do you have a question for us? it up. Noel, welcome. Do you have a question for us? So what is the most obscure life advice you've been given to date? The most obscure life advice I've been given to date. What's the advice that the mom gives Steve Martin in The Jerk? Or is it the dad?

It's the dad, I'm sure. Don't trust Whitey is one of them. Right, right, right. You laugh because it's true. Lord loves a working man. Don't trust Whitey. Lord loves a working man. Don't trust Whitey.

And what else? See a doctor and get rid of it. That might be the best advice ever. See a doctor and get rid of it. Oh, my God. If you haven't seen't seen the jerk you can't be our friend it's just the masterpiece um i don't know obscure life advice do any of you guys have any good obscure weird life advice someone's giving you i don't know if it's how obscure it is but like uh get a morning routine is something that's absolutely changing my professional life.

You know, I used to just get up and hop on my computer and start work because I have a lot to do. And I have my brain is clearer in the morning than it is at the end of the day. So I was like, I just got to rush it and get as much done as possible. But then my therapist was like, what if you just, you know, took a minute to like really get yourself together and grounded and and see if that would work for you. You know, try doing the same thing every morning and see if you're not as stressed out by the time you actually approach work. And it's working and I really enjoy it. So get a morning routine. That's good. Does Yoda count as obscure life advice? Yes. Do night or do not. There is no try.

Yeah, I mean, I love it. it yeah there you go write that down um i don't know how obscure it is but i think that one of the most beneficial thing my father told me was just to not be intimidated by asking bold questions and and bold making bold requests of people um that's something that throughout my life has really paid off because 98% of the time people go, sure. And you're nervous to do it. You're like, oh my God, I'm not going to ask. There's this filmmaker I really, really look up to and I admire and my agent represents him. And this is just a recent example. And I was like, I'm going to ask my agent to ask him if he'll read the script, my latest script, because I really love this guy.

I love his thoughts on it. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm kind of nervous. What if he's like, I'm not going to read something? And then he's like, sure, I'll read it. He read it, gave me amazing notes, and that's just a recent example, but it goes back my whole life. Just having this Jewish, Yiddiddish expression chutzpah which basically means having balls but like having the chutzpah to just ask bold questions of people ask big requests of people um not get in

your head about oh they're gonna think this they're gonna think that like no step up to the mic and go hey person that i that i admire or look up to anyway that's my pep talk that's a piece of advice my late father gave me that i always think about it works for you too because sometimes you do it and you don't even know that you're doing it like you i remember when dick van dyke was on the show it was you that asked him to sing while i played and it and it was something that i was having a hard time doing and you did it it was so i want to say cavalier how you did it was like off the cuff like and then he was like he's like he plays jolly holiday and dick was like oh does he and and and and zach goes yeah he's gonna play it for you later and when he plays it you should

sing along with him why don't you sing along with him that's how you asked him and he was like yeah okay sure all right that's how it came about. Of course. But in that example, Donald, I was totally fucking nervous to do that, but I, but I stepped up.

What I'm saying is the, the, the advice I'm passing forward to Noel and anyone who cares is you step up to the fearful moment and then cross it. I'm, I'm nervous to ask Dick Van Dyke if he'll sing with my best friend. But I think of my father and I summon my chutzpah and I go,

Dick, you should sing with Donald. What's the worst that's going to happen? He's going to be like, oh no, I don't sing anymore but I'd love to hear Donald sing. What's the best that can happen? One of the fucking greatest moments of your life. Do or do not, there is no try. Same thing. You know what my favorite expression is

that I've been thinking about a lot lately? I don't know who said this. Y'all can Google it if you care. Your life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. Yes. Yoda.

Joel, say preach. Joel, can you say preach? Yeah. Your life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. No, Dom from Fast and the Furious said that shit. No, he didn't. He says a version of it in the movie.

But I don't think he originated the line. He didn't write that. It's a famous quote. I don't know who said it. But I think about that a lot. When it comes to family, your life begins at the edge of the conversation. All right. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.

That's where The Bright Side comes in, a new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right.

Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations,

Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.

And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment.

That's what my goal is to give you. To talk about why I feel that cancer, to a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Noel, what's your next question?

If you don't have a second question, it's fine. Donald can beatbox. Yo, I'll punch you right in your dick. I mean, I do want to hear the beatbox. I will punch you right in your dick. Do your little Lamar. Don't say dick in front of Noel, ass fuck. Ass fuck?

I'm an ass fuck? Really? You're the fucking ass baby that Schwarzenegger tried to have in that movie. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay, sorry, Noelle. And a rap by little old me, Lamar. Noelle, go ahead.

Well, I really like the advice one because someone had told me, you know, if you start dating in a bar, you break up in a bar. And I was like, that's not true. And like, legit, it happened to me. Oh, no. That's really interesting. But let me. Oh, no. That's really interesting. But let me. Oh, shit.

Let's go to that. Well, my marriage could end because. No, you're starting at the club, Donald. That means your marriage is going to end at the club. At the club. I don't think you in case you're going to the club to break up. No, I think we need to. But, Noel, we can just go right to fix your life, which is what we do.

It's time for Missouri's, Rolla Missouri's favorite segment. It's time to Fix Your Life. Okay, Noelle, you got broken up within a bar. We are here to help you. How can we help? I'm currently looking for a house and a new car. you how can we help um i'm currently looking for a house and a new car so well joelle joelle do we have one of those free houses to give away uh i really wish we did absolutely just give me houses so wait what's going on what's going on noelle okay well i'm gonna put the drama aside but i'm

just looking for um i just got out of a contract for a house. And so I'm looking for another house. Okay. I would love a house with my dreams. Okay. I'm just trying to look for enough space for me. Okay. How long were you in this relationship? Uh, for the house? No, with the man or the woman, whoever it was. Oh no, no, it wasn't. It was just, I got out of a relationship for in the, in a contract for the house no with the man or the woman whoever it was oh no no it wasn't it was just i got out of a relationship for in the in a contract for the house and it just fell through i see okay we thought it was romantic relationship you you were you were gonna have a house and it all fell through and now your dream is hey i i have a good job i'm not skimming off the top

and i would like a home. So I will say this. Right now is the best time to buy a home because the interest rates are very, very, very, very low. That doesn't mean get an interest mortgage, but interest rates are really low. So your mortgage will be low for however long you own the house. We don't know about what's happening in Missouri. At least in California, it's like that. In California. Do you do what I do and obsessively look on all the apps

for what you're looking for? Because I love real estate. I'm always, even when I, I just, I'm always like looking. Whenever I visit a place, I get like so into it, and then I go look obsessively and look at real estate in that area. Zillow. I like Realtor.com, by the way. They should be our sponsor.

That's a really good one. Okay. You know why? They have this thing. And, Joelle, you need to tell Realtor.com to be our advertiser. Because I'm about to give them a big plug right now. They have this thing that I like. It's a feature where you can draw on the screen the area that you're looking for.

And it'll just bring up homes. Let me go to Realtor.com. Right? You know what I'm saying? This is the best free ad I've ever given these mofos. No, but you can draw on the screen. Let's say you're like, oh, I know I want to be in Rolla somewhere. And then you can go, yeah, but I want to be in this neighborhood of Rolla.

You can just draw on the map with your finger and then it only brings up houses in that neighborhood. Come on. So, Noel, what's your next plan then? What's the move what's the move no well what's your next why did the last one fall apart what can we do to rectify it oh honestly there were a lot of issues going on with that house okay good well then you dodged a bullet you don't want to be in a you ever watch a money pit you don't want to you should watch money pit after you watch

the jerk watch money pit okay you don't want to be in a money pit yeah you know sometimes um the best thing that can happen is that a door closes and a door closed for you and it sounds like you're really bummed out about it and i get it but i guarantee you um if there were problems and there were red flags it was a blessing in disguise right Donald oh no I totally agree you know well then can you say mm-hmm or something motherfucker listen man I don't know which button is for fuck's sake just stop talking about your willies Daniel I need this labeled I fucking hate that There it is. I fucking hate that pad now.

No, you don't. You love the pad. You know why you hate the pad? Because the pad, first of all, the pad is amazing. You hate the pad because Daniel refuses to update my sound effects. Oh, my God. And you're tired of the old ones. That's exactly what it is, Zach. That's exactly what it is.

And the rap by little old me, Lamar. Oh, classic. Noel. I don't know how to fix this, but I'm going to be honest with you. I can't. She needs to find another house that's not a disaster. My specialty is not real estate. Well, mine is.

Noel, you have a good job and you have a paycheck. And that's what a bank wants to see, that you have a good job and then you have money coming in and that you're reliable and you pay your bills on time. And it seems to me you'd be a great candidate to get a mortgage. You just got to find a place that's not going to be a frigging disaster. And I think that if this place fell through for whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be. Thank you.

You're welcome. You're welcome, Donald. Yeah, you know, you're welcome, girl. I wish you the best of luck. Everybody's looking right now for a home. It seems like everybody's either buying or selling nowadays. Yeah, lots happened. Well, people, I think, after COVID are moving, they're going, you know what?

COVID made me realize, fuck this town. Yeah. Fuck this town. Yeah. I'm getting outbid a lot. Folks are bidding $50,000 above asking price. Yeah, that happens. That's happened a lot.

Well, that just means you got to adjust what you're looking for a bit, Noel, because you're right. People, when it gets competitive, you'll get outbid. But that just means you got to go a little lower than what you got to calculate that into your process. Right, Donald? No, yeah. No, you're right about that. No, because in certain areas, it's crazy. It's like there's bidding wars.

Yeah, like I said, this is the best time. If you're selling a home in California, this is the best time for you right now. Everybody wants some. Even if you're selling homes in Texas, people are buying homes for $100,000 to $200,000 more than asking price. And that's ridiculous. But, hey. Well, it's supply and demand, my friend. If everybody wants that house, they're going to fucking drive it up.

If everybody wants that house, they're going to fucking drive it up. But you don't want to get in a situation where you pushed yourself, Noel, and you really stretched and you paid too much, and then you're like, oh, now I'm fucked. I have to eat ramen because I bought this house. Don't overextend yourself so that you don't have room to enjoy life and eat really nice food. Wait, ramen isn't good food? Well, I was thinking like the college ramen in the styrofoam cup.

Top ramen. Top ramen. Oh, got it. Isn't that a stereotypical thing that like poor college kids eat? Dollar ramen. You know what I used to do in college? I would take frozen peas. I put them in the microwave.

And then I'd pour ranch dressing and I'd mix it all up and have like a ranch dressing pea soup. Wow. Oh no. I respect that. You knock it, but it's fucking delicious. At least I haven't had it tasted good. I don't like peas or ranch, which is

really the problem. Oh, then it's not the meal for you, Joelle. It's really not working for me. Alright, Joelle, you're welcome not working for me. All right. Joelle, you're welcome. You're welcome. Good luck. Please email Joelle. Give us some updates when you find your home. I'm really excited. I'd love

to ask questions when you go over 606. That means my musical episode. I love it. Okay. Thank you so much. We have some time before we get over 606, that means my musical episode. I love it. Okay. Well, thank you so much. Yeah. We got it.

That's we have, we have some time before we get to 606, but we're, we're, we're a season away from that. Yes. But in the meantime, I think by the time we get to 606,

you're going to have the house of your dreams. Noelle. I hope so. Please, please, please. That's what I think. Vibes are going out there.

I love that you all. All right. Bye Noelle. Appreciate it. Bye. Take care. Well, that was great. that was fun, that's the show everybody this was a lot of fun and Daniel, I hope you get your internet fixed

god, I do too and wait, let me just ask a question Daniel, is there another choice? is there something you can do? is there a contract that can be no, there's Monopoly, Spectrum's got a Monopoly they got it on lock I could switch ISPs but it's moreopoly. Spectrum's got a Monopoly. They got it on lock.

I mean, I could switch ISPs, but it's more going to be if this is a consistent problem. But this is the first time it's happened in the four months we've lived here. It's intermittently coming in and out right now. And, you know, I think it'll be okay by the end of the day. So, you know, temporary outage. Daniel, don't punch a hole in your wall. Oh, never.

Never. And that was the day Danieliel burnt down his house yeah daniel you don't want to fuck this internet fuck this internet that's that's that's the curse of being nice all the time is that anytime i get upset people are like whoa daniel's upset right daniel's daniel's big man you were giving me Bruce Banner vibes. I seriously saw your neck. Your neck started to turn green. I saw the neck thing.

I saw the neck thing. You look like Lou Ferrigno. I saw the neck thing. You know what's funny about whatever his name was that turned into Lou Ferrigno? He looked nothing like, at least in the Marvel Universe. Right. They kind of look like Mark Ruffalo. He looks a little like Mark Ruffalo. Yeah.

Whatever the actor's name was who turned into Lou Ferrigno, it's like he didn't look anything like Lou Ferrigno. Wasn't it Bill Bixby? Is that what it was, Joelle? All right, we're supposed to end the show, but give me a quick, I don't want to get this thespian's name wrong. If Donald's right with Bill Bixby. Yes.

Bill Bixby? On the Hulkian's name wrong. If Donald's right with Bill Bixby. Yes. Bill Bixby. On the Hulk, right? Yeah. TV show Hulk that we grew up on. Yeah. Yes. David Banner, Bill Bixby. If you look at Bill Bixby next to Lou Frigno,

there's not a lot of resemblance. No. So he doesn't just turn into the Hulk. He turns into a different human being. Yes. Yes. Yes. All right, everybody. We love you. Stay safe out there and we'll see you next time.

Five, six, seven, eight. I said he's a story that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. We'll hear from celebrities, authors,

experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small. We'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes,

with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine. With original kids' bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream. Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including Courtney Cox, Rob Delaney, Liz Phair, and many, many more. Join me on season three of Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Professional dancer Cheryl Burke has been part of Dancing with the Stars since the very beginning. 26 seasons of the samba, the rumba and the cha-cha. 24 partners, 6 finals and 2 mirrorball trophies. She knows all the secrets, the behind-the-scenes arguments and the affairs, the flings, the flirting and the fighting.

Listen to Sex, Lies and Spray Tans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.