Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 512: My Cabbage

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

On this week's episode, the Janitor tries to keep a bird in the hospital while JD tries to get Keith kicked out of Sacred Heart. In the real world, we've extended the deadline for the Hyundai giveaway! If you or a friend are in need of a car apply here: www.FakeDocsHyundaiGiveaway.com Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I cannot believe this is happening. And we need to make this a little bit louder so the people out there know what is happening. Yes, you only have until when, Joelle? What is happening? Yes, you only have until when, Joelle? Saturday, September 25th, midnight. So Friday into Saturday, midnight. All right, you're going to go and you're going to write an essay that's a maximum 100 words about why you or someone you love should get this free Hyundai Tucson. And I have breaking news for you.

You might say, that would be cool, Zach and Donald, but I can't pay the taxes on the gift of a car. Oh, Zach, why don't you tell them what is going to happen with the taxes? Yes, Donald, we are covering the taxes. You will not pay a dime in taxes if you win this free Hyundai Tucson. Just so I'm clear. Yes, Donald, go ahead. We're paying the taxes? Yes, we're paying the taxes on free Hyundai Tucson. Just so I'm clear. Yes, Donald, go ahead. We're paying the taxes? Yes, we're paying the taxes on the free Hyundai Tucson.

Yes. So what you're going to do is, let's say you or someone you know in your life really could have their life changed with a car. You can't get to that job that you really wanted. You can't visit that family member that really needs help being taken care of. This is not for someone who wants a car upgrade, okay?

Please don't waste our time or iHeart's time or Hyundai's time. This is for someone who has a true story that will be verified, so please don't lie, where your life will really, really be changed with a car. And the good people at Hyundai are going to give one winner a free Hyundai Tucson. I am very excited about this, and I'm very excited to read all of your letters because you know I'm going to read them all.

I bet you will. Joelle's going to tell you right now the website where you go to write your 100-word essay on why you should win the free, and I mean free, no taxes paid, Hyundai Tucson for you or one of your loved ones. Oh my gosh.

Joelle, tell them where to go. Okay, guys, here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to www.fakedoxhundagiveaway.com. Again, the address is www.fakedox, like this podcast. Hyundai, like the car you could get. Giveaway, that thing we're doing. .com, check it out. Apply for you or a friend in need

today. Yo, yo. I just gotta say one thing real quick. Yes? Cue the motherfucking music! Hi, KC! Hi! I never get to hear my theme song. Aw, you haven't heard it at all?

No. If you put on the headphones, I can play it for you. I think. Hold on one second. One second. Let me just make sure. Make sure. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Audio assets. Segments. Casey. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Local. Okay, let's see here.

Sure. Open it up. Oh, if it takes you this long, Dan, no wonder. I got it. Wow. Casey coming with the fire. Jeez. Wow.

Okay. Maybe I won't play it. Casey, come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these fools. So tell me what to do. I don't know none About raising these kids And that's what it is Fire

Yes Fire That's a hit It's a smash That's a bop That is a bop That should be your ringtone Joelle are you making

That a ringtone Yes Please Is it available yet or no It is not available yet But we're hoping Early next week Okay

Oh I can't wait There you go everybody You're gonna have that ringtone. Casey, that needs to be your ringtone. Yes, it will be. I have to tell you guys, and then I'll let y'all start, but I just bawled my eyes out watching this damn episode. Oh. Oh, cabbage.

Yeah. Oh, my God. They need to play that, like, right now on television. I know. Well, you know, interestingly enough, when all – I'm just going to say this, but since you're here, I'll say it. When all of COVID started, this ending was sort of – this explanation of how a virus spreads was sort of going around the internet. And it's such a beautiful – well, in this case, it's a beautiful articulation of how things spread. And then, of course, they play Cold Place Fix You.

Oh, and then you're – And goosebumps all over. then you're done. No, it's true because it's like it's not saying anyone's an asshole. It's just it's that easy to just hurt someone without even knowing, you know. It's so sad. Right. And just like what's happened, I'm sure, with COVID so many times, someone doesn't know that they have anything dangerous.

They don't feel any symptoms. And then they unknowingly pass it on to somebody else who is perhaps an old woman who could die from it. And that person never knows. They go, oh, I wasn't sick. They don't know that they were a carrier that gave it to an elderly person that died. Yeah. Well, it's worse than that now, man. It's so sad.

This Delta version. I mean, I don't want to make this episode about COVID. Well, we can talk about it a little bit because that's what comes up. This green thing that flies around the hospital is really the perfect example of how COVID spreads. Yeah, and now the Delta version, it's in kids now, and kids are getting sick. And that's really scary, being a father of two young children. I'll bet. Well, if you have people in your life, listener, who are one of those people. Later, babe.

I love you. Sorry. Are you talking to me or her? To her. Okay. If you have people in your life, listener, dear listener, are are are i don't know not believing the science of it all show them this episode because it i think it does in a very creative way show how a virus uh is so easily transmitted how are you i'm great i just want to say one last thing it has

nothing to do with she left her sunglasses she'll be back maybe i should go and get her hold on sunglasses. She'll be back. Maybe I should go and get her. Hold on. Can you see? Come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these fools. So tell me what to do. I don't know. Oh, Jesus. We don't need to hear you screaming.

Yeah, I also need to ask him about the room that he's recording in because that room is echoey. Well, we lost the magic of Donald in his closet. We did, unfortunately. sound sounding so so good so dead alas let's give him his notes hey daniel wants to talk to you about how shitty your new room sounds go ahead daniel okay well it's just a little bit more echoey in there um is it is there potentially like a different corner of the room you could use

or um yeah i mean not this episode but yeah for sure no of course of course i'll get a yeah i'll get a uh i'll get one of those things i'll get one of those things i think i have one too a sound panel with some uh foam nipples on it yeah to surround the mic that could work the you know optimally this is not you know preferable of course but it's like getting the corners of the actual room itself because it's like yes that will deaden it right around the mic but your voice is still echoing off the you know the walls of the room um but you know then again i'll see how much i can fix with just effects maybe it's not going to matter at all and when i get to editing episode 411 or 511, then we'll

see what we really need to do. But anyway, I just want to put that out there. Yes, you're very echoey. It sounds like when we have Johnny C and he won't move from his dining room table and he sounds very echoey. But even with this microphone it's like that? Yes. It's not a function of the microphone,

Donald. It's a function of the sound waves bouncing off the corners of the room. Shut the fuck up! Let's go. You honor me. Five, six, seven, eight! It's the stories about a show we made About a bunch of doctors and nurses

And a janitor who loved to hate I said it's the stories that we all should know So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. That was a wacky beginning of a show.

Wait, so we're going to keep all that? Yeah, keep it all. Keep it all. Keep Donald even screaming at the top of his lungs for Casey. My cabbage. My cabbage. Very wacky, wacky, wacky episode. Wacky episode and very predictable episode.

Maybe because I remember this episode. I didn't predict it at all. I remembered this. Maybe because I remembered the episode so well. But when you said, you know, I have an intern that keeps fucking up, I knew right then and there. It's cabbage, you know, I have an intern that keeps fucking up, I knew right then and there, it's Cabbage. You know, that was clear.

When you were saying, I have interns that are doing all these things, I knew it was just one person. Well, I remembered the green thing solely because it went, you know, viral. No pun intended on the internet when COVID started because people thought, oh, my God, this is a really good representation of showing that. So I remember seeing that. I forgot that Cabbage on his way out takes out Mrs. Wilk. Yeah. Fucker, Cabbage. Cabbage takes out a bunch of people actually.

But we don't even know. Cabbage, that's what's so fucked up is Cabbage doesn't know that he, I forgot if Mrs. Wilk dies, I think she does. She dies, yeah. Yeah, so he doesn't know that he did forgot if mrs book dies i think she does but he dies yeah yeah so he doesn't know that he did it yeah so keith climbs into bed with me and um he gives me a kiss because he's intoxicated and he thinks he's climbing into bed with elliot and i thought you were going to push him off well all i say is tender yeah tender what a weird thing to say like you might isn't that a dating app

no that's tender you might you might say if someone called you is that a different is that different is it different wait it's tinder and tinder different yeah tinder is spelled t-i-n-d-r okay like tinder for a fire and he's saying tender like a chicken tender or being tender with somebody holy shit I thought tender was like oh you thought the dating app was tender? I thought it was like a sexual way of saying find your chicken nugget on tender

no he's saying that he thought because it's a dating app like you're going to be tender with your lover it's like tender moments it's more like tinder fuck buddies Tinder with your lover. It's like Tinder moments. It's more like Tinder fuck buddies. That's right. I get that now. Isn't Tinder the most of all the apps, Daniel, I'm asking you because you're in the know.

Isn't Tinder the most hook-up-y one for the straights? Yes. That shit made me laugh so hard on Ted Lasso. Oh, like Grindr. And everybody's like, yeah. Yeah, just like Grindr. That shit's funny. You guys know what I'm talking about? Yes, we do.

I told Bill that you came clean, and that you'd been lying the whole time about watching Ted Lasso. What'd he say? He thought it was very funny. I said the Donald came clean and then now he thinks it's the greatest show ever made.

And he said, Oh, I got to come on and, and talk about that and make fun of him. Can't wait. Anytime. Yeah. Man's on fire,

man. So proud of him. He's killing it. Yeah. Anytime. Yeah, the man's on fire, man. Yeah. I'm so proud of him. He's killing it. Yeah. Okay, so then I see you, and I say he's a decent, in my defense, Keith's a decent kisser. Right. So I guess when I woke up, I left out a pleasure moan. Right.

I mean, it's a little bit unclear, but when i when it wasn't just a cuddle it sounds like i woke up and we made out a little and then i let out a pleasure moan and and then i say something like you say something like whoa don't you have any college things where you uh almost hooked up with a guy or where you drunkenly hooked up with a guy. And then we look at each other. Yes. And we realize we can't hang out for about two weeks. Yeah, this is just a stupid story point to have you hang out with Elliot and not me, I guess.

But we learned that we must have made out in college. In college. Drunk out of our minds, we totally hooked up. Shocking. We had a sword fight. Have you ever had a drunken um sword fight with a man no i've never had a drunken sword fight with a man sober sober sword fight have you crossed streams have you crossed streams well yeah when you're kids you always cross

streams don't you okay when we're all standing at the urinals i've been there i've been i used to try and freaking make it i was like let's make it so when it connects it looks like one let's make our ropey streams one well i don't know about ropey have you found that your stream isn't as strong as it once was oh no it's nowhere near like when I was in my 20s or early in my teens, that shit was like fucking... I know. I miss a thick stream. I listen to my kid go to

the bathroom. That dude sounds like he's... I know! It sounds like a thunderous... Like, it's raining and thunder and lightning is outside. That shit's like... And we're only in 46 and 47. What the fuck? My shit comes out and it's like, Drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Especially in the morning when you wake up. Daniel, why are you making that face? You're headed to this.

So if you haven't happened to you yet, just wait. I'm certainly ready for it. I'm just saying, if it's really Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. You should probably talk to your- No, but that's what happens to seniors. But we're definitely- You definitely- I'm on my way. I'm on my way it. I'm just saying if it's really dribbled drop, you should probably talk to your therapist. No, but that's what happens to seniors.

But you definitely notice at hashtag 46, you don't have a thick, ropey stream. Oh, my God. It's like ropes. Yeah. All right. So Cabbage is really a fucking mess as a doctor, right? Yeah. Well, he's not only a mess as a doctor.

as a doctor, right? Yeah, well, he's not only a mess as a doctor, he's like, he's, I wouldn't say he's aloof, because aloof, you kind of have a, you have some sort of a knowledge that you're, that you're fucking up. This dude is oblivious completely to the fact that he is a horrible doctor.

Although I did laugh when he fucks up the IV, and I go, got some on you, look out, I go, no, no, that's some of the fun that you can have. Right, but no, but look some of the fun that you can have. Right, but no. But look, and the fact that JD's covering for this dude because he kind of reminds him of himself and, you know, it's a very

dangerous game that he's playing because he doesn't like Keith because Keith's banging Elliot. We're not really clear on why he doesn't like Keith. He doesn't like Keith, obviously, because Keith's, you know, he's jealous that he's with Elliot, even though he wouldn't say that. Right. Keith's very handsome.

He looks like a Ken doll. He's ripped. He's got abs and dynamite areolas. And we also learn from Cox that he's the best intern that the hospital has. So for all these reasons, J.D. is green with envy and wants to take him down. Right. When really, this dude's probably going to be his...

I don't know if Keith ever becomes an ally, or does J.D. hate him throughout this whole relationship? I don't know. We'll have to watch the rest of the show to find out. And now I'm wondering how they break up, because I know they get serious at some point, too travis did a good job so you know how you know how you know uh you know how you know you're doing a good job they keep giving you more and more episodes yeah he's really come a long way in like the three four episodes that he's been in so

far he's already starting to fit in pretty well you can and yeah and you can also see that the actor himself gained confidence. That's what I meant. Yeah, of course, that would happen. You know, you come into this cast that's been doing this for four and a half years, and you're asked to just,

you know, get up to speed and join them, and it's intimidating. And I think Travis did a really good job. Yes, he did. Mrs. Wilk is finally going home,

and Judy gets her a giant card. I give a courtesy laugh. But I'm way more excited to present my present, which is a DVD of famous centers, because she likes basketball. And you even got it signed by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I got it signed by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,

and everything's going great until Keith comes in, and his father plays flag football with the actual Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? I guess so, which is hilarious. Which is hilarious in itself. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar playing flag football. First, how long are the flags? Two, who's he playing with?

Because how is anybody going to even be able to reach up and grab said flags? I don't know. But I love that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar likes to act because as we know he was in the airplane films yes uh he was just on dave the tv show i don't know so good so yeah did you by the way do you see the most recent dave it's really bizarre and good where he goes to work with um the famous rick rubin yeah great episode i Really good episode. Kyle, you're not watching it yet, huh? I have yet to watch Dave. I can't. Listen, have you learned any lesson from us begging you to watch Lasso and now you love it? Is there any lesson that you could learn that maybe you'd try Dave?

I mean. It's about rap. It's about rap. That doesn't mean much to me. It's not Wu-Tang. Is Wu-Tang on it? No. Wu-tang's forever remember that dave is temporary i'm gonna guess let me guess the pads are still not labeled let me guess

what you're trying to get into no wu-tang forever that's right wu-tang forever until little dicky has wu-tang on the show i'm not interested okay i don't know i don't know i don't know i just have to know. I'm bullshitting. I just haven't watched it. I just thought you may have learned a lesson when you had this epiphany. You guys begged me for so long, and I love Ted Lasso. You know what I did start watching was Doogie

Houser. Why? Because why not? That shit holds up, man. That shit is a freaking... Of all the things on television, I don't understand why of all things you chose Doogie Howser. No offense to Doogie. Thank you. That shit is fire.

Yeah, that theme song was dope. It literally, it really does hold up. What doesn't hold up is the little typing at the end. Yeah, when he writes in his journal. Yeah. It's good in the beginning, like in the first season and the second season. By the end of it, not so much. Why have you decided to binge Doogie Howser?

I just don't understand. I don't know. Have you tried any adult programs? Doogie Howser? I just don't understand. I don't know. Have you tried any adult programs? Doogie Howser's not for adults? I think Doogie Howser was meant to inspire teens. I like... I don't know, then. You like what you like.

You like what you like. I like what I like. I think you might like Dave, because it has a lot of things you like. You said that about Atlanta. I didn't like Atlanta. Okay. I think you might like Dave because it has a lot of things you like. You said that about Atlanta. I didn't like Atlanta. Okay. You didn't like Atlanta? Look, Joelle almost fell off her chair.

Look at her. I don't give a fuck how everybody feels about that shit. I like what I like. It's just that simple. You're very much allowed. Joelle, you need a fan. Joelle's like a woman who needs to be fanned right now. I feel like I do need to be fanned a little bit because it's maybe one of the most ingenious original shows right i didn't i didn't hate atlanta i just didn't have time for

it you know that's how it goes let's move on okay okay let's doogie hauser all day every day just like wu-tang forever baby i'm gonna need doogie hauser all day every day on the soundboard we should we could i'm sure we could get neil get Neil Patrick Harris to come on and talk about it. I would love to have Neil Patrick Harris on the show to talk about it. I told him to his face. I told him to his face. I was like, listen, man, you don't know. Doogie Howser, when I was a kid, I fucking wrote.

For real, I was ride or die Doogie Howser fan, man. Okay. Well, Juel's going to reach out to his representatives and see if he'll come on. He's busy. That dude works. He does so much and see if he'll come on. He's busy. That dude works. He does so much, but if he does, I'll be very excited.

A lot of things, but this is a very popular podcast. Donald, we can get anyone you want. The rock Tom Cruise. We can get anybody. You can get the rock. We can get the rock.

Yes. Joelle. Don't make that face. I can get the rock. I know the rock. You know, I'd love to have the face was was could the rock and i be on the same zoom call that is blowing my mind a little bit yeah that automatically makes me want to smile

like i can't just like just the rock on the same zoom call as me and maybe i just it's just okay i'm gonna get the rock i can make if you can get the rock if you could this would be the rock has nothing to do with scrubs at least you brought brought up Neil Patrick Harris as a show you loved and are binging now for some reason. I could get him. But if you could get The Rock and Kevin Hart, that would make my life. If you could get the two of them. I like to do the impossible.

I like to do the impossible. Or if you could get Snoop Dogg, that would be the best day ever, man. No, I don't think Snoop Dogg is right. I would smoke weed with Snoop Dogg and you all. That would be the weed episode. I don't know if the listeners really want to listen to you baked talking to Snoop Dogg, but maybe they do. Fuck yeah, they do.

How could you not want to listen to me baked with Snoop Dogg? All right, for shizzle. For shizzle-dizzle. So then it turns out that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says that that's not my signature on the DVD. Apparently, JD has forged his signature. He's giving this Wilk a DVD present, and he's chosen to forge Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's signature. Yes. And then I pretend that he's mentally disturbed

and I say back to the psych ward Mr. Rosenberg is that what that joke was? you didn't understand it? I didn't get it because he said I think everybody knew that that was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar I know that's why JD's pretending that he's a mentally ill man

who's pretending to be Kareem Abdul-Jabbar so I say back to the psych ward, Mr. Rosenberg. Oh my gosh. You're just getting that? Oh my gosh. I just didn't see the connection because it's clear that it's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I know, that's what's so stupid about the joke. That's what's

so stupid about J.D., man. Does J.D. not realize that it's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? J.D. feels that he can... He can sway the room? Yes, he can sway the room. He can plant a seed of doubt in Miss Wilk's mind. By the way, Miss Wilk was not nearly as impressed

as she should have been that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar walked into her room. She seemed pretty impressed. She was real happy. I know, but then the subject got changed and we're all just talking to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar walked into it. She seemed pretty impressed. She was real happy. I know, but I mean, then the subject got changed, and we're all just talking to Kareem. No one's flipping out. I mean, he's such a cool dude too, man. I met him once before Scrubs, and he was nice,

but after Scrubs, every time I see him, he always says hi. And if you know Kareem, he doesn't always do that. You know what I mean? There are a lot of people that have asked Kareem for autographs and stuff, and he doesn't do that. He's like, I'd rather shake your hand because that feels more personable. Like, that's more of a connection, right? And every time I see him, I'll be like, hey, Kareem. And he'll stop and go, hey, man, how's it going?

And then he'll turn around and keep going and keep walking. That's a luxury. Not a lot of people get that. And I'm very happy to say I get that. And I hope it's because we work together. You've reached hello, how are you status. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

I know you're not going to watch the show, but he had a very funny cameo. Bizarre, bizarre guest appearance on Dave. But apparently the man, I mean, clearly the man likes to act because he's on a lot of stuff. He's a fabulous writer. He's a wonderful writer, right? And he's a wonderful activist, too, like an amazing activist. Mickhead is out of prison and handing out orange jumpsuits. Yes, which makes it so that you know we're in California.

California can't be the only place with orange jumpsuits. In New York, it's like stripes with freaking jail suits. I know, but orange jumpsuit is sort of like a trope of prison garb. I think it might only... I don't know. You know what? I don't know, but I believe that's the California... Joelle's going to look it up for you,

but I feel like there's a lot of... When people say they want someone to go to jail, they're like, oh, I can't wait to see that guy in an orange jumpsuit. Okay, I truly believe I could be wrong, but I do believe that it is. So, Joel is researching where orange jumpsuits come from. Yeah, Arizona Department of Corrections has it,

and also in Australia. And then LA, that's it. Arizona, California, and Australia are the only places where they have orange jumpsuits. Why are you so sure about that? According to Wikipedia, in the United States, to make escape more difficult, prison uniforms in the United States often consist of a

distinctive orange jumpsuit. And then they have different colors for different levels of seriousness. I never put two and two together that was to prevent escape that's that's part of it i got and that's why they the other one is striped so you stand out i bought i bought an orange sweatsuit i immediately decided i wasn't going to wear it anymore because people were looking at me a little funny i think like you escaped like i escaped from the jail

from the prison system okay now this crow thing is so fucking stupid. I mean, I don't even understand. Far be it from me to criticize the master bill. This was the funniest part of the episode to me. You didn't like it? The crow? Then fucking threw the pen at Cox and then Cox throws the bedpan at your face. The crow comes into the wrong room,

and he turns around. He said, I said 136. And then he looks at the sign, and it's 136, and he stands corrected. You didn't laugh at this shit. Were you stoned? Dude, I'm always stoned when I watch this show. This is one of the best shows to watch, Stone.

Oh, okay, but I thought you said you were on a weed break, so I was like... I am on a weed break. I don't smoke it when we do the podcast anymore. Oh, okay, but I thought you said you were on a weed break, so I was like- I am on a weed break. I don't smoke it when we do the podcast anymore. Oh, okay, calm down. You told me that you liked it better when I didn't smoke on the podcast because I'm quicker. I do. Right.

So I decided before the podcast, I'm not going to smoke. I'll smoke after the podcast. Okay, good. Now, I said, I'm just conflating my viewing experience with yours, because I usually watch right before we do the show. Right, I do not. Okay, alright. Now, yes, this is very stoner-friendly, The Crow, and I was not partaking.

I'm not surprised that you found it hilarious. That shit was fucking hilarious, dude. The janitor trains The Crow. I don't know if he trained The Crow or if The Crow... He does train The Crow. No, I think The Crow was already trained because he said, let's see what else you can do. The crow made tiny furniture for his wreath. The crow lives in an old Christmas wreath.

Yes. And the crow, amongst many things, understands English, understands commands. Also understands the art of mime. What do you mean the art of mime? The fucking crow pretended to be dead at the end of the episode. I wouldn't have said the art of mime. The crow knows how to pretend he's dead.

The crow knows how to play possum. And it got like flicked in the head by Kelso. And even gets plucked. And even gets plucked. And freaking stays still. Now why does the janitor... Why does the janitor... I wish the crow made more episode appearances.

Oh, my God. Why does the janitor speak Spanish to the crow? Because he named the crow Sanchez. By the way, not Sanchez. Sanchez. Sanchez. Sanchez. Just like raccoon, Sanchez. Raccoon. Raccoon, Sanchez.

Raccoon. Raccoon. Raccoon and Sanchez. Dear listener, I hope that if you need to say the word raccoon, you say it. Raccoon. Right. That should have me rolling. I wish Sanchez would make more episode appearances.

Well, here you go, guys. This is the difference between two different viewing experiences. But Sanchez... How about when Todd comes into the hospital? That's the funniest part. I have a question. I have a question. The funniest part of the episode by far

is Todd coming in with the green infection tint on his anus and his mouth. And his crotch area. I didn't see it on his crotch. I saw it on his butt cheeks and his mouth. And then he says he loves Chinatown. Now, this is where I have issues.

Was this his first time ever going to Chinatown? Well, what I inferred was that he went to Chinatown and went to a brothel and partook with both men and women. For the first time? Yes. Because he acts like

he's never been to Chinatown. Chinatown is awesome! And I guess it could have only been a woman, but there was clearly ass play. A lot of ass play. It made me think that there was also some male. We know that Todd is fluid. Yes. So I assumed in my mind that Todd went to a brothel that had both Asian men and women and he hung out

with them both. Yes. And yes. All right. So I won't let Keith, because I'm such a prick, go to his grandmother's funeral. Yeah. I say, Keith, I realize you'd like to go to your grandmother's funeral on Saturday.

Heck, we all would. But you can't just take a day off whenever you feel like it. That's so mean. And then we learn that Cabbage is allowed to go to, what, the zoo? Yeah. No, to see King Kong. Yeah, something like that, yeah. Because he's an ape enthusiast. Yes. Because he's an ape enthusiast.

Yes, because he's an ape enthusiast. And then Cabbage does a very funny gorilla impression. By the way, this episode was directed by John Inwood, our cinematographer, for all eight years. Yeah. I have a question to ask you. Is it John's first episode directing? Probably not

Joel, will you look that up for me? I imagine he was directing, but he got to direct before But there's some cool trick shots You know, with the bedpan And the crow that John came up with He did a really good job on this I just want to ask you one question I need you to be honest with me

Go ahead When Cox mentions Dr. Acula Did you get excited? Yes Me as Donald Faison Got so excited And it doesn't go anywhere I don't know why Bill decided to have

In what world would Cox Read the Dr. Acula screenplay? I have no idea. But the fact that he doesn't think it sucks. No. And then I asked him if he liked the Transylvania dream sequence. And he didn't want to talk about it.

No, he was out of compliments after that. Yeah, that was it. But I imagine he did. I think he did. I wonder why,. I wonder why... I really wonder why Cox took the time to read Dr. Acula. He read the whole screenplay.

Yeah. But that was all he was going to give, J.D. He was not going to comment on the Transylvania dream sequence. No, no. All right, speaking of dream sequence, this is arguably... The best in the world.

I laughed so hard. The best and the weirdest. I laughed so hard at the fact that these two are bathing a pumpkin. All right, wait, we got to go slowly. Don't rush. Let's go, let's go, let's go. This is John's fourth episode. Sorry, he did My Lucky Night, Her Story, and My Boss's Free Haircut.

That shows you how I'm no Trevor Wickie, everybody. This is John's fourth episode. We are going to talk about probably the weirdest fantasy in Scrubs history, maybe up there, top 10, when we come right back after this break. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in, a new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay.

And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new, and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions,

we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums.

But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million night's sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time

queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your most fabulous shows. Hey, everybody, welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite in powerful conversations. I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. I want you all to join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter. In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder. But even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them. Myself, as the middle generation. I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life,

but it is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating. And a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and Tinder. This is Across Generations, where Black women's voices unite

and together, you know how Generations, where Black women's voices unite, and together, you know how we do, we create magic. Listen to Across Generations podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We watch your with Jack and Donald.

And we're back. And we are back from that break. We take forever. Welcome back from that break. Fate, doctors, real friends, welcomes you back from that break. Did I send you me singing Les Mis with my friend Preston? I really did enjoy that.

Preston can really sing. Well, it's clear who's the Broadway performer and who's not. Why do you got to fucking turn this into a diss of me? It's not a diss. It's just that Preston is really fucking good. Yeah, but he's playing fucking Javert on the national tour. I can't sing like that, but I thought I held my decent own community theater self. I wouldn't say community.

I would say more high school. Oh, my God. I'm pissed. You know what, Joel and Daniel, I'm going to send you this video. My buddy loves it. It's really good. It really is good. And here's the honest to goodness thing.

Zach sings on it, and when he sings, I was like, very good, Zach. But then he made the mistake of sending his buddy singing on it too and then it was like oh no here's what happened my buddy my buddy preston is staying with me okay he is an amazing broadway singer and piano player and tap dancer and he can do anything he's a performer he's like a straight up like a straight up performer there's nothing he can do when he walks into a room and they say, Oh, which part do you sing?

A baritone, tenor, soprano. He's like, which one do you want me to sing? Which one do you want me to sing? He has the sickest range ever. And he,

before COVID shut earth down, was playing Javert in Les Mis on the national tour. He has, he has that kind of voice. So we're hanging out on my piano, and we start singing one of the confrontation with Jean Valjean scenes together. And Josh Radin was here, and he started videotaping it. And I kind of did okay. No, you did great.

Hold on. Don't get it twisted. You did great. It's just that when he sings, it's a jump. That's all. Okay. I get it. I'm not saying you suck.

I was very impressed. I was like, look, go on, Zach. Go on. That's like saying if you're hanging out with your buddy, Savion Glover, and you're doing moves, and it looks good, and then Savion Glover ruins it when he starts. So easy. See, that's the difference between you and I, Zach. I know when to say, yeah, you're absolutely right about that. He did fucking shut me down. I could take it. You can't. You're Zach. You're Zach Braff. It can't be that way. I'm going to send Daniel and Joelle this video and their response is not going to be,

yes, your voice is not as good as preston's their reaction is going to be not bad zach well i didn't say you were bad i didn't say not bad i said it was great i said you're great you know what you should eat let me guess a bag of dicks no i was gonna say deez nutsuts. All right. The pumpkin fantasy. So let's just go through this, okay? After you eat a bag of dicks. Donald, let's go slow. Okay.

JD has a fantasy that Turk won't be a good parent. Because Carla says Turk won't be a good parent. Carla says it? Oh, sometimes I worry about you being a father. Yes. Okay. So in the fantasy, you. I'm on my way home from picking up the Halloween pumpkin.

From the pumpkin patch. Right. And you leave the baby at the pumpkin patch. Where another person finds the baby and takes them and raises the baby on its own. Right. And I bring the baby home. Yes. Carla, when Turk brings the baby home, Carla says well it is cute yes and you you as a

couple decide that you're not concerned about your real human baby we no longer you're gonna you're gonna raise this pumpkin as your child we're gonna raise this pumpkin okay so you raise the pumpkin we see the first bath we see the first we raise the pumpkin. We see the first bath. We see the first. We see the pumpkin playing Little League and gets hit by a pitch. Yes, a lot. By the way, a lot of time was put into this fantasy, but usually the fantasies are like quick pops. This took a lot of photography.

This was a day of filming. It plays Little League, and then we see at the college graduation with the pumpkin. No, the high school graduation with the pumpkin, I think it is. Okay. I think. Yes, high school graduation. Right. And it's wearing a cap.

Yes. It's graduated. It's graduating. And then you drop the pumpkin. Yes. And the pumpkin splatters all over the crap. Crack's open. Or it's shattered. Right. Whatever the pumpkin splatters all over the crack or shatters.

Whatever this pumpkin does. It's destroyed. And while you and Judy are mourning the death of the pumpkin... Well, we think we could save it by putting it back together. Right. Turk's actual kid, Junior, Christopher Junior, comes around this corner. Yes, he comes around

and recognizes his mother and dad. Yes, well, he looks exactly like his mother and dad father yes he well he looks exactly like his father right and he recognizes them and he's so thrilled there's finally going to be a reunion all of this he doesn't seem upset that he was left at the pumpkin patch he's just too excited to see them and they're excited to see him also knowing holy shit okay the pumpkin died the pumpkin that we decided we were going to raise instead of looking for our son. The pumpkin that we decided we were going to raise instead of looking for our son has now died.

Fuck that thing. The real deal has finally, the prodigal son returns. Yes, and you lovingly, because you're so thrilled, call him towards you. Yeah, come to me, son. You get your butt right over here. In crossing the street, he gets run over by a bus. And it makes the day even worse because not only did we lose the pumpkin that we decided to raise instead of looking for our kidnapped son.

Yeah. We also lost the son that returned to us. You've lost both sons. Yes. Donald, can you remember, Joel, Daniel, can you remember another fantasy that went on that long in Scrubs history? I think that's the longest one. Yeah.

Maybe. No, because I can't remember any that changed location even. Dude, it goes from, it's in a car. It's not only in a car. It's at the pumpkin patch. It's at the graduation. They shot it for a full day. Full day of work. I remember.

I remember. You never forget this shit. You never forget when you're like, wait a second. Were you laughing while you were doing this? I didn't understand it. I was like, let me get this straight. The pumpkin is our kid? And they were like, yeah.

I was like, all right, whatever you say. I liked him in his little graduation gown. So cute. The fact that the fucker graduated high school. What about when the pitcher hits him in the helmet, in the head, and you and Judy get all mad. And tell him to rush the mound. That pumpkin's not going to rush the mound.

The pumpkin can't move. How did the pumpkin get up to bat i'm sure someone placed him there how did the pumpkin how did the pumpkin get the hat on and the bat and attends like how did the pumpkin um successfully attend high school let's let's let's let me let me let's just say this let's say the pumpkin does get a hit let's just let's just say that this happens. Okay. How the fuck does the pumpkin get-

It'll probably be a bunt. How does the pumpkin get from home plate to first base? Maybe they're allowed to roll him like a bowling ball. There you go. Maybe because he's special, they have an agreement that they can roll him to first base. The pumpkin graduated high school. How the fuck did the pumpkin make it through math? I don't know.

But I just got to say, this, I think, in five years that we've watched so far, is one of the most bizarre. I know we've got other more bizarre ones coming up, including when you're a goat Turk. Goat Turk's coming soon. Goat Turk. That was a good try. No, not only goat Turk.'re Goat Turk. Goat Turk's coming soon. Goat Turk. That was a good try. Not only Goat Turk.

Don't I become a plant, too? There's Plant Turk, too. Yeah. There's Plant Turk. What was plant Turk? I don't know. I don't know. I think they grew him from my missing nut.

Oh, that's right. We plant your nut. Yeah, that's right. That's right. We plant your removed testicle, and it grows into plant Turk. And in one episode, don't I have a testicle that is... That's warm. That's warm.

It's like a radiator. Yeah, and Rob and I... Rob, you, and Cox, and Dr. Cox. We gather around it for heat because we're camping. Yeah. Keith is upset that he doesn't have a nickname. And he says, JD says, not everyone can just come up with a nickname. He says, my last name is Dude Meister.

Right. And then Cox says, you think the Dude Meister? Wait, you're talking about the Dude Meister? He's one of the best interns in here. And you go, the name's too long. It's never going to stick. It's too long. Yeah. Amongst showing Cabbage's mistakes, they do a little

riff on the x-ray being backwards, which comes from our title sequence where everyone in the medical community likes to tell us that the x-ray in the title sequence is backwards. I'd like to believe... I know that we've had bill on here we've asked him about it and he said it was an accident but then it turned but then he said

that they you know he's always well i've always said purpose i've i think it was not on purpose there's no way but i think that i've always said well i've rationalized it by saying oh that makes sense because they're interns they were fucking up and also it scrubs it's a comedy right but this i thought it was a clever comeback when they were brainstorming for ideas for cabbage to have a fuck up one of them involved a lung x-ray backwards right um when we see rob um his peep you can see it it bounce again in the locker room. I don't know if you noticed. It's not held down. It's not like, you know when you have a pickup truck and you sort of ratchet strap things to the bed? Yeah.

Well, Rob's cock needs ratchet straps. Because it's bouncing. Joelle, didn't you notice? It bounces. It's loose in there. in there definitely doing a lot of work yeah this is like this is this is what i this is but this is crazy man on nbc they allowed this you wouldn't be able to see this on abc man i know nbc they were like it's bouncing in it's bouncing in the banana hammock so So what? We don't care.

I would have thought that they would have tied it down to his leg or just really somehow braced it. But in this scene where he's doing the rat tail. Yeah. And I told you guys. I told you guys that there's a picture out there of Aloma and fucking Judy looking at that penis. I saw it on Instagram. That wasn't even like a side look. They were looking straight at it.

They were straight at it. Listen, don't at me, but Fix You is one of the most beautiful songs ever. Oh, it's great. Such a good song. I've heard Fix You an infinite number of times and i it started playing in this episode and i got goosebumps down all my legs it's just such a noble song you know what i mean it's so noble it's a uh it's a a man realizing that his the love of his life is hurting so bad because of her loss.

Right. Is that what it's about? That he voted for Gwyneth Paltrow when her father died, right? Yes. And he's trying to, and he's like, I'll fix you, knowing that he can't. The only thing that's going to fix her. I'll try to fix you. Only thing that can fix her is time, you know?

Yeah. It's such a beautiful song and i've seen a lot of cold play concerts and it's you know how bands rotate all their songs they always play fix you and they do it in the most amazing way because actually if you've never seen the video for fix you um go on youtube and check it out because it's really cool it sort of shows you a little bit about what they do in the show because the video as the song starts slow chris martin's alone and he's sort of walking through the streets and he's singing you know very simply and then as the as it builds and builds he starts sprinting right

and he sprints and then he sprints into the arena and he runs out on stage to like 80 000 people just as the song kicks in and pyro goes off and it's thrilling and that's kind of what happens in the show um so look up the music video on youtube it's really really good you know i would love to be a musician just to recreate that for myself like i'd love to be a rock star just for that alone oh my god just in this scene you're gonna run in, and everybody's going to scream for you. And you wrote the song. That's what's so crazy about it.

In the stadiums when he does it, there's usually how big bands will have a long runway down through the stadium. He'll be down at the end of the runway in the audience. And then he runs, runs, runs down, and then leaps up into the air, and then pyrotechnics go off. And the whole fucking 80,000 people are singing his song. I can't think of a higher high a human being could have.

Right. And the kicker, you wrote it. And everyone is fucking singing your song. That is an unbelievable high, man. It has to be. I remember I walked out on stage and sang with Gloria Estefan, Coming Out of the Dark, when I was in high school. And I was a part of a repertory company.

And she chose my repertory company to sing with her at Madison Square Garden for three nights. So for three nights, I would walk out on stage during Coming Out of the Dark with Gloria Estefan. And when I tell you, you cannot imagine the feeling. And I'm in the back, like we're background, she's in front singing the shit and we're background. I don't even think the mic was turned on. You know what I mean? but just the feeling of the crowd going nuts as you walk out even if they're not screaming for you it just felt so good you know it feels so amazing like i know josh gets a rush when that happens to him i know there's something so extra i mean we've been in plays and and stuff but and that's obviously a small audience but but I always think about singers, particularly singers that write

their own music, the idea of being up there, and then they hold the mic to the crowd, and 80,000 people sing their lyrics to them. I can't imagine a higher high than that. No, there is no such thing. It can't be. I mean, maybe Jaleel White's Purple Urkel

Diesel, whatever the weed is that he has out. Have you tried Jaleel White's weed Urkel diesel, whatever the weed is that he has out. Have you tried Jaleel White's weed? He's supposed to come hook me up, man. Jaleel, where you at? I don't know if Jaleel listens to the show. Yeah, he does. He said, Jaleel, hook us up with the waffle iron.

He got a waffle iron and everything, bro. What's a waffle iron? He got a waffle iron for the purple Urkel, so you can make waffles with the Urkel face. Oh. All right, but more importantly, he has his own line of ganja, and I think that, Jaleel, if you do listen, I think it would be nice if you brought some over to Donald's house

and see you guys are friends. And Joel lives nearby. You can drop some off for them. And Donald and Joelle. They both got real close to the camera like, dude. We're ready. I'll happily sample. All right, we have a guest, right, Joelle?

We do. Let's go to break. Let's go to break. We'll be right back, and we have a fun guest for you. Be right back. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in.

A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new, and get into some friendly debates. We'll see through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums. But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon, and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes, packed with original stories and sleep meditations,

Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable episodes start out engaging and really rather magical but as they progress they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light since launching in 2022 koala moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.

And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,

a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hey, everybody, Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite in powerful conversations. I'm your host, Tiffany Cross.

Tiffany Cross. I want you all to join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter. In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder. But even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them. Myself, as the middle generation, I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life, but it is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating. And a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and Tinder. This is

Across Generations, where Black women's voices unite, and together, you know how we do, we create magic. Listen to Across Generations podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! We're back! get your podcasts. Scrubs Rewatch your wisdom and

download. And we're back. We're back. We're back from break. Welcome back from break. Lambda, lambda, lambda and omega. Welcome back from break. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back. When I wanna rock, I really wanna rock and rockin' cause I'm makin Because I'm making rock and rock to the 40th degree. I am the prison, the wizard, the when I want to rock. Okay, ready? Okay, let's bring in the guest. Let's bring in the guest. We got a caller who gave us a holler. We can talk, start wars, or sing show tunes, you know, like a baller.

Smoke some jazz cabbage. Maybe talk about the episode So come on, Joelle, let's get the show on Give it up for April and Mikey! Hi, guys. Welcome to the program. Hi. Very nice to meet you. Where are you all calling from? Go for it, April.

Oh, we're from Portland, Oregon. Oregon in the house. Portland in the house, Donald. Donald, do you know any restaurants in Portland, since you like to often reference restaurants in people's neighborhoods? I don't know any restaurants in Portland, but I do know that. Have you ever been to Portland? Didn't that Voodoo Donuts come from Portland?

Isn't that from Portland? It does. There's some other contenders. Blue Stars, a really good one. Voodoo Donuts is where the tourists go, but there's a thousand good ones now all in that area too. It's good. Don't get me wrong. But Voodoo Donuts was the first, right?

Voodoo Donuts was the first. I've never been to Portland. I don't know anything about it other than what I've learned from watching Portlandia. There's the Blazers. They have the Blazers. Shout out the Blazers. They have the Blazers. Shout out the Blazers. Shout out Dame Lillard and the Portland Trailblazers. Are they called the Blazers because people like to blaze there?

No, they're the Trailblazers. Oh, he's right. Trailblazers. But also, yeah. Yeah, I just thought I think of my sweeping stereotypes that they like ganja in Oregon, so it might be the Blazers. They should change their mascot to a guy smoking a giant blunt. I would be behind that.

April, are you a gamer, April, because you're in a gaming chair? I think that's her boyfriend's gaming chair. Yeah, my boyfriend, he's a videographer, so he was nice enough to let me use his setup today. Oh, okay. Does your boyfriend also play video games or does he just do video editing and stuff? He also plays video games. Oh, yeah.

Because that chair, Danil, you know, doesn't that chair... Danil, when you're on your poll on Twitch, do you use a chair like that? No, I use the chair that I'm sitting in right now. I got my hand in Mila. But why don't you get something like April's in because that's what I associate gamers have. It's really comfortable.

It's a little bit harder to twerk in a chair like that. Oh, I know. When you're naked, Daniel, your butt cheeks might stick to that kind of chair. I really need the aeration up in here for the sweaty butt. Yes. Wait, hold on.

Wait a second. I wasn't aware of this. Daniel, you're naked during your live here. Yes. Wait, hold on. Wait a second. I wasn't aware of this. Daniel, you're naked during your live stream? Yes. Yes, of course. Why do you think people are tuning in?

Daniel? You honestly thought he was playing games with clothes on? I'm late to it. I'm late to this. That's why people tune in. He's got a hairy chest

and he plays naked. Got it. That's why people tune in. He's got a hairy chest and he plays naked. Got it. That's the whole cell right there. His tag is Gamer Bear. Gamer Bear. Nailed it. All right. Sorry, Mikey and April.

Tell us why you called in. First of all, how do you two know each other? Yeah, what's the connection? It's tied together. So I was actually in a high school math teacher at an all-girls private school, St. Mary's Academy here in downtown Portland. And I was April's math teacher when she was a sophomore, right, April? Yeah. math teacher when she was a sophomore, right, April? Yeah.

And then it was actually one day in class just kind of randomly that she asked, oh, Mr. Bedney, do you like Scrubs, the TV show Scrubs? I'm like, oh, yeah. And then we just started talking because it's, you know, like Scrubs and that. I'm not sure if a lot of your peers were watching Scrubs, April. I just kind of assumed no. No, I mean, you were the first person I really actually had a conversation with about the the show and i think that that's kind of what cemented us still talking to this day oh wow how old are you now april uh i will be 26 in october okay so we're talking about 10 years ago 10 years ago roughly right yep yeah and you guys and you formed a friendship over scrubs

that's amazing amazing That's so cool. April's the kind of person that says, like, she's an amazing human being, but, like, she also, she kind of slow plays you a little bit, right? Like, she can start out real quiet, or at least you did in a day. It might have changed April. But, like, she started really quiet, and then once we started talking about that, then it was, like, kind of an opportunity to get to know her more. And it's like, okay, well, I want to learn more about this person

and all that sort of stuff too. That's great. Was April a good student? Yeah, I think so. You were already, weren't April, you were also, we don't have to get too nerdy, but like you were in the second year of algebra as a sophomore, which is not right.

That's right. But I was not very good at math, I will say. I'm better at other things. Maybe she was taking algebra for the second time, Mikey. You don't remember. No, no. No, she's right. It's like a skill.

So, you know, if she was in the right place, yes, I would say that she's good at math. Mike, I never liked proofs. I thought that was a waste of everybody's time. Yeah, I think it's too early to introduce it at that age i know what they're going for they're trying to get you to use logic in a different way right but i i do agree like it was the i remember going through it was painful do they still do that to poor high school kids i mean i it's one thing for like ap students but why is like a like a when my school was level

four which like not ap but right below like why do I have to learn to do that? So here's what I told all my students, because you get in and everybody will tell you if they hate math or they love it, especially the parents, just FYI. So what I tell them is like, it's all just training you how to think. So math is teaching you how to practice logic versus, you know, music and arts and stuff. So I think that is the intention behind learning proofs is like we're just trying to build your logic in a different way oh that didn't work okay let's try it with a different way oh that's right i wish i wish math would have been explained like that when i was a kid and that it was you know i try to explain to my kid now he plays soccer he doesn't necessarily want to be a soccer

player he wants to play basketball but i tell him the lessons that he's learning in soccer will transcend into basketball later on right and if things are explained and and so automatically he's like well i'm gonna try and be the best soccer player i can be because that's going to make me a better basketball player if things are explained to you like that when you're a kid, at least I find when there's a bigger picture involved instead of the right now, if a kid is really intuitive, they it's easier to to to sign in. I'm not signing. It's easy to get. It's easier to get invested. I'm not signing. It's easier to get invested. You know what I mean?

I wish somebody would have said to me, this will build your logic-based skills. This will build those skills. I wish somebody would have said that to me instead of, you're going to need it so you can count. Fucker, once you know how to count, math is over to me. Therefore, by the transitive property of association, and I was like, you guys got to be kidding me. I'm not going i'm not gonna need this shit come on come on teach me how to change my oil that'll be more useful right that was the way when people would always ask to like mr benny when he would use this when we're going to use this and that was again it's like no of course you're gonna be able to look it up later and no you might not be able to do this again focus on the big picture we're building

skills like problem solving with logic. I understand, by the way, but I do understand like, okay, so I think I took some logic classes in college and stuff, but I do now understand why you might want to introduce the idea of the transitive property. But it just felt a little young for it. I mean, unless you're like a super genius, like maybe April was, but I wasn't. I also found it funny, like when I went to take an SAT prep course, they were like, okay, I know how they taught you how to multiply fractions like this in school. That's not how we do it. That's slow. Don't do that anymore. Do it like this. And I was like, well, why didn't they teach me how to do it like that before? Like the way that I, a lot of the stuff that I now, and occasionally I have to multiply a fraction or figure out a fraction is

like the thing I learned in SAT prep, not what I learned in the public high school system of New Jersey, but that's not your fault, Mike. I don't blame you. Also he's in Oregon. He's in Oregon. I know in a private school, I think probably. So there's lots of different. Yeah. I've, I've since moved from teaching. I now work in a different field, but.

Oh, what do you do now? I work in the tech world. This is also like, I don't want to push the gun here. Cause like, you know, there's this whole life advice piece I can ask you about later.

Okay. So let's go to the normal order of things. Do you guys, either one of you have a question for us? Yes, I do. Beverly Hills cop is one of my favorite movies. Mine too.

And I know you guys love it. We referenced it too much on here. Too much. I don't complain. Okay. But my question to you guys is, what is your favorite song off of the soundtrack? From Beverly Hills Cop?

Yep. Neutron Dance. I'm so happy doing a Newtown dance. Is it Neutron or Newtown? I think it's Newtown. I'm so happy Doing the Newtown dance Is it Neutron or Newtown? I think it's Newtown I'm not sure It's Neutron My favorite song is

Tonight Don't you want a fantasy Living in a nasty world That's when they go to the strip club Yeah, when Prince comes in That's that Prince music Vanity, right? Yeah, it's Vanity, but Prince wrote

that song. Tonight, don't you want to come? Don't you think I'm a nasty girl? Nice to meet you. I think they got water on the brain. I think they got more... Vanity. I think they got more water upstairs than they got sugar on a candy cane.

That shit is fire, baby. Tonight, don't you want to come? Don't you think I'm a nasty girl? Oh, man. Good question, April. You've got to sing the Beverly Hills Cops soundtrack. He's like, hey, tag it. What does he say?

What does he say? He goes, can you make sure that I don't get club soda? Because if I drink that, I'm going to throw up. Hey, Jack. Can you make sure the park this in a good place? Because all this shit happened last time I parked you. Oh my God, dude. All right, next question. Go ahead.

Another question that I had for you guys is, I know that you both have worked on, like, quote unquote, kids films. Like, you know, Big Fat Liar uh June Little what what was it like working on those sets and was it different than other sets that you've been on so with Big Fat Liar I got to work with Sean Levy on his first project ever he had directed maybe a episode of uh what's the action show that the uh the kid he he was he's going to be on the show eventually as an intern uh but he had a television show back in the day uh where he was like an action hero and i think sean levy directed one episode of that and then he directed big fat liar and i just remember thinking wow this dude hasn't directed much and he's you know this movie seems

like it's going to be so big sean levy's now grown to be has gone on to be one of the biggest uh power players in hollywood and director and and he's a great director and producer actually but in hindsight being 2020 i just thought it was really i think it's really cool now that i got to work with somebody when they first started and now they're like one of the you know they've gone on to create some great things i think she's asking um how how was a set different when you're working on something that's for children oh it's not different kids curse just as much as adults do that's not true yeah it is what you're talking about you're trying to tell me frankie muniz don't curse you're trying to tell me amanda binds didn't curse while we was making that movie?

Oh, I see. You're saying in your instance, the kids had potty mouths. I mean, not really, but I'm just saying kids. It's funny that you say that because Chicken Little was animated. So we're just, you know, we're in a sound booth. But you did Cheaper by the Dozen just recently. I know. And Six Degrees of Sean Levy.

As you started talking, Sean Levy directed the original, well, not the original, the Steve Martin version of Cheaper by the Dozen and is the executive producer of the Cheaper by the Dozen that I just did alongside Kenya Barris. What's the difference? The kids have very limited hours depending on how old they are. As you get older, obviously they allow you to work longer, but very young children have very limited hours. So that's always tricky, trying to get the scene that you need to get with even less time than you normally have. People definitely watch their cursing, although you're human beings like parents in front of children. You slip up, and there's often a swear jar that gets filled. Yeah, there is. I don't know if there's any other real difference yeah i think

you know i think you know um those are those are the main ones i think the adults do their best to to not accidentally curse around the kids and then and it's dealing with the kids hours i think that's the only thing i can think of i like kids hours though man when you got kids on set you know okay i'm only going to i'm only going eight hours today whatever it is yeah yeah yeah anyway anyway uh also the kids have to go to school if you're during the um the school year so that's also tricky in addition to their limited hours i think uh for three hours a day they have to be in in school you know they have a tutor in the trailer or something so that's really tricky for them too because obviously they have to be educated um it kind

that's where it's really crazy too they'll come to work and then go to school for literally 30 minutes in between setups and then come back to set yeah they have to keep they have to bank all the time and you can't do it in too short of increments obviously so they'll be like okay i gotta put them in school for a half hour. We're way behind on school today. So, right. Have either of you established sort of like a mentorship relationship with any of those kids over the course of years? Every one of Zach's projects, he always has kids. And so I've seen, I've seen a lot of like, I'm not going to speak for him, but there are a lot of young people in Zach's life that I would say he mentors. Well, Joey King, you know, was a bit of a mentee.

Not mentee, but I felt like her uncle. And, you know, we did a bunch of projects together. I met her first on Oz the Great and Powerful when she was China Doll and I was the monkey. And then I just was blown away by her talent. And I cast her in Wish I Was Here. And then again, every, you know, every year the girl got older, her acting was getting better and better and better. And then when I made Going in Style, it was actually written for a young boy. And I said to Ted Melfi, who wrote it, you know, this young girl is so talented. I think it'd be

more interesting to see Michael Caine interact with a teenage girl than a young boy. What's it like for a grandfather to try and be a part of a teenage girl's life? And now she's taken off. In fact, I think Kissing Booth, the third version of Kissing Booth- Sorry, the third movie of Kissing Booth. It just came out,

and she's going to have a huge career. She's in a new Brad Pitt movie, and she's on fire. It's crazy. We knew her when she was 12, when she was little. Oh, yeah, when she was in the movie, the scene with Donald, in which I was here. Donald, you remember her. Yeah.

She was in, do you guys remember in one of the Batman movies when, is it supposed to be young Bane? You think it's a boy, but it's really her. That was Joey, too. She's young Talia Al Ghul or something like that, right? That is correct. And then there's another boy. There's a young boy in Cheaper by the Dozen who I took under my wing a little bit.

Actually, these three met him, too, because I brought him to Disneyland with us. So sweet. Very sweet young boy. Very talented that I took under my wing. And apparently he occasionally listens to this podcast even though it's so inappropriate and he shouldn't be. So, Leo,

if you're listening, turn it off now. I sound like those parents at the award shows. Go to sleep, honey. Go to sleep. Alright, it's time for Portland, Oregon's favorite segment. It's time for Portland, Oregon's favorite segment. It's time to fix your life. All right. Go ahead, Mikey.

Yeah. So, so I was a teacher for eight years and then I switched careers into tech because it's just, it's all encompassing. Like when I was working, I would have to work several extra jobs to make ends meet. Couldn't afford to have my wife on health insurance. And we wanted to start a family in the future. Like it's just, it's just insane hours. So I was lucky enough to be able to switch into tech. So I'm now trying to figure out like, there's nothing. And I've sort of accepted this. There might be nothing I will ever do again. That that meaningful like you go home and you feel like good um so what should i look for like something that you know tech brings me uh the ability to support my family i've got a toddler now upstairs and um and but i'm looking for something that also brings that level of

fulfillment that teaching did back in the day i got got an idea. Go for you, Zach. When we were talking about you as a math teacher earlier, I was also, something I didn't say, but was that I would occasionally get really lost in math class and my parents would hire a tutor. We were blessed that we had enough money that they could hire a tutor. The tutor would come over and I'd be so confused and like on the verge of tears. And because it was one-on-one and he was a brilliant teacher, like within 30 seconds, he'd explain it to me.

And I'd be like, wow, well, we have the rest of the hour. What else should we do? And he would just teach me more stuff. And it made such a difference. And I was always acutely aware that access to someone like that was a function of my parents having money to afford such a thing. So what's the first thing that came to my brain is if there's a way

for you to volunteer your genius and expertise for children, high school kids who don't have the economic access to someone like you who's cool and be friends, students, and can talk at their level, and then also break it down, break things down that are super complicated that they're not getting. And I think the epiphanies you'd see in these kids' brains that would never have access to one-on-one like you would be very fulfilling. I'm getting lit up just by thinking about it. I agree. I don't know what you do in tech, but if there was a way that you could, what do you do in tech? Let me ask you that first. Right now, I test software. The goal was to be able to move over to be a developer, but I've got an extra spin that I could tell you about after that. I like your idea. I can think about that. Well, I mean, I was going to say,

if you're in tech and you're developing, why not develop some type of teaching software where you can put something out there for students like April was to learn how to do math? You know what I mean? There are fun ways. There's this game that my kid plays now called Push the Button,

and it's a math game uh on the phone and and you know before you know it he's multiplying by nine and you know he's not even thinking about it you know um and so um there's something there's something in that like i would i would look into you know once you get into the developing side, when you do get into that side, develop your passion. You said you like teaching. Develop that thing. Develop teaching apps. If you wanted to combine it with your knowledge of software development, Donald's right.

You could use your skill set as being a teacher for all those years. Clearly good at it because, you know, your students like you and, you know, maybe you could develop some sort of game that would help kids. You know, one of the things that a lot of students don't have when they get out of school is direction. And you seem to have found another direction after teaching, you know, and maybe you teach them how to develop software. Maybe that's something you do. Maybe you teach your old students that skill set, you know, and maybe you teach them how to develop software. Maybe that's something you do. Maybe you teach your old students that skill set, you know. I'm sure not everyone is as put together as April. I'm sure you have students out there right now that are like, I'm so confused at what

I'm going to do. You introduce them to your new world, you know. I'm just thinking if you went to, I know COVID is tricky, so maybe it has to be zoom if not in person what have you but pretend pretend the apocalypse is over if you went to guide and counselors of some local public schools and said hey i used to teach i used to um and i'm willing to to volunteer some of my time if you have students i don't want to deal with students i'm not trying to force anyone to learn if they don't want to learn with students. I'm not trying to force anyone to learn. If they don't want to learn, then I'm not here to try and force anyone. But if you have kids that really have potential but need a little extra help, I'm willing to volunteer and help get them over some math humps. I just think that would be so incredibly rewarding for you. You would see

the difference in a child that would never, his parents can't afford to hire a tutor. And I just think that would, if it was me and I was a math teacher, I just think that would light me up. That would like made me so high on life. Thanks. Yeah. I like that. Thank you. Those are all actually legit. Mikey, Mikey, you're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.

That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.

That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums. But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby.

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you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.

I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite in powerful conversations. I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. I want you all to join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter. In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder.

But even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them. Myself, as the middle generation, I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life, but it is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating. And a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and Tinder. This is Across Generations, where Black women's voices unite,

and together, you know how we do, we create magic. Listen to Across Generations podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You guys were great guests. And, um,

I wish that we could end the episode with, uh, Chris Martin's fix you, but we're not allowed to. They will sue the shit out of us. No, I don't know if they'd come. It'd be the last,

it'd be, this would be the last episode of fake Doctors because we would be now focused on our lawyer fees. Since we're not allowed to play it and Donald mentioned that my voice is fine as long as I'm not next to a professional, I will sing it. Lights will guide you home. Doom. And ignite your bones and i will try to fix you oh beautiful all right you guys have been awesome guests uh we'll see you next time everybody we love you donald canicella five six seven eight about a show we made.

About a bunch of doctors and nurses. And a can of new love. I said here's a story that you all should know. So gather round to hear our. Gather round to hear our. Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. Hi, friends. I'm Danielle Robay.

And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small,

we'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes, with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine.

With original kids' bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream. Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and I had the opportunity to talk to one of Hollywood's major icons, Michael B. Jordan. In our conversation, Michael shares the highs, the lows, and everything in between, offering a genuine glimpse into his world. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions. Limitless answers.