Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 514: My Own Personal Hell

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

On this week's episode, JD is fed up with perfect Keith. In the real world, Danl's eating on Twitch, and the guys finally watch the stream. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Bruce Bozzi. On the last season of Table for Two, we had some good times with some of the best guests you could possibly ask for. Table for Two is a bit different from other interview shows. We sit down at a great restaurant for a meal, and the stories start flowing. We're back for a second season. We'll be breaking bread with Colin Jost, Michael Mann, Divine Joy Randolph, just to name a few listen and subscribe to table for two on the iheart radio

app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts hey y'all hi donald's chewing what are you chewing donald i just had something too i made some nachos for myself and the kids speaking of eating while on... I had some leftover steak, and I chopped it up nice and thin. Speaking of eating while on a show, I finally tuned in, finally, for Daniel's Twitch. Unbeknownst to me. I had had a lot of jazz cabbage, i i i was under you were under extra scrutiny

fantastic donald were you able to get on because i was texting you you got to see this dude in action i did i wasn't able to get on but what you told me was that he is not the same person that he well he has a very he has a very big you know he's the lead of the show so he has a very big, you know, he's the lead of the show, so he has a much bigger personality. I like that, the lead of the show. Well, you are. You're in the foreground. It's your show. I appreciate that.

You're very charming. Thank you. I have never watched a Twitch anything before. So for me, it was, I mean, I've seen them spoofed or I've seen like clips of PewDiePie playing games. Sure. Isn't he the most famous one? He's a big one. Yes.

Very big. But one thing I learned, Donald, is that, you know, we tease him for being like a cam girl or a stripper, but it is analogous in some ways in that there's a lot of lead up and teasing. There's a lot of, what do you call it? Edging. There's a lot of edging. Oh my God. Before he plays a game. There is.

There's a lot of foreplay is what you're saying. There's a lot of foreplay. It starts with him eating. It's like, what do they call that? Muckbang? Where the people eat and you watch them eat? That was unique, but yes, I was eating before. Wait, wait, wait. The name is unique already. Did you just say Mukbang?

Isn't that what it's called? Yes, correct. Can you explain to the listeners who have no idea what Mukbang is, what Mukbang is? Sure, sure. Mukbang is a video. It's M-U-K-B-A-N-G,

if anyone wants to look it up. And it's videos of people eating food. And sometimes that food is requested by the fans, but it's just watching people eat their food sometimes it's like i'm going to this restaurant watch me eat or sometimes it's my fan wanted me to eat 600 chicken nuggets and so here we go it's like that asian it's like that asian girl to be eating some of the nastiest shit i've ever seen her eat like the shit she bites into it squirts and everything like yeah and there's one woman who ate a live octopus and

it attacked her face that's what she gets for eating a live octopus. Yeah, that's exactly what she'd get. Didn't she see my friend the octopus or whatever? Oh, my octopus teacher? Jeez Louise. Joelle, have you ever watched Mukbang? Yes, but like in a, it was like a vice report or something like that.

I've never like saw it. I'll be like, let me go watch some people eat. It's not my thing, but I understand it. What do you think it is that people like about it? The sounds are sensual? It's sensual. Well, for some people it's the ASMR, but for other folks, it's just like a genuine like connectivity sort of thing.

It's like, I'm going to sit down and eat with this person. If that person's good at commentary in between, it's more of like a. Okay. Yeah, but a lot of it's like. I think it's sexual. A lot of it's like. I think it's sexual, too, because a lot of it's like this. I'm going to take a bite right now, and I'm going to put it to my mouth.

Listen. Listen. Here's to all. Do some ASMR with that food you're eating. Be louder. Be louder. Yeah. I think this is where if I was into it, I'd get the lotion.

Oh, boy. So anyway, Donald, I'm watching Daniel. By the time I swallow this, if you don't go... Yeah. Then I haven't done my job. Then you're a really good mukbanger. So I'm watching Daniel, and I thought I tuned in for a video game, but it opens with Mukbang.

He is eating sushi, I believe. Indeed. And talking to his fans. There's a lot of conversation. It's like a streaming conversation on the bottom of the screen. And then Stephanie comes in, who I'd never seen in real life, and she's very beautiful. Daniel.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Very charming. Daniel did very well. Stephanie came in, and she had an appearance. She came to talk about something. I forgot what it was. Was it mukbanging?

Were they going to invite more people in the mukbang with them? Stephanie did not get into the mukbang. That was solely Danil's thing. Indeed. And the second I came, I was like, I don't know why I'm still watching this. But it turns out there was going to be a video game that was going to be played. There was eventually.

Now, Daniel, how many people roughly do you think watched you eat that sushi or play that game? When you came in, there was about 65 people watching at the time. I think unique viewers, there's probably about 800 people who come in over an entire stream. We got to get that up, Daniel.

How do we do that? I, well, I'm, why aren't you people who like, why, if you're listening and you're one of these people like Daniel that like to watch people play video games, please watch his Twitch because these numbers are not the poor man is muck banging and we need his numbers up. He's showing you a lot. I really appreciate that. Thank you.

I'm working on, I just got a green screen. That's how you saw it. There was clouds behind me and stuff like that. We've been upping the production value. Yeah. And you're sassy. I think your personality is a bit sassy. Definitely. Because you've got to whip these

people on the internet into place. Well, you were very charming and I thought Donald would really like it. And Donald probably would have stuck around for the video game. Does he tease? Yes, there's a lot of rimming. There's a lot of, like, pretty soon I'm going to play the fucking car game. But first I got to eat this fucking roll. You got to edge it.

You got to edge it. He's edging all 60 of those people. Imagine the dude who's just like so excited to watch Daniel play this card game and he's gotta wait for Daniel to eat dinner.

Well, thank you for coming to the stream. I appreciate that. It was great. Tell people where to watch it for those of you who need to watch it. You can find me

on twitch.tv slash DJ underscore D-A-N- can find me on twitch.tv slash DJ underscore D-A-N-L. DJ Danil on Twitch. Find me there. That feels like a lot for people to remember, but they will. It's all good. Follow me on Twitter. I post about it all the time. Enough, Danil. We should

probably get into the show. Let's do it. 5, 6, 7, 8! Stories about a show we made about a show we made about a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that we all should

know. So gather round to hear our gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Now I noticed that Donald hasn't solved his echo problem. It doesn't sound like him. I don't care.

I'm at the beach and it's so hot. I chose, for sound reasons, open doors instead of air conditioning. And I will be occasionally patting my back. Do you love it? Hold on. I'm sorry. What's happening? Oh, my goodness.

Wilder has just entered with a new hairstyle that looks so beautiful. Your hair looks great, Wilder. She can't hear us. It looks so pretty. Oh, wow. Is this your first blowout, Wilder? Tell her that it looks beautiful, Donald.

She can't hear us. Hold on. Wilder, that looks so good. It looks so pretty. Thank you. Is this the first time you had your hair blown out? No, you never had your hair blown out. No, none.

We're about to braid it. That's why we blew it out. Oh, we're going to braid it. Fancy. It looks so good, babe. Oh, she had a new walk and everything in here. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You want to show her? Can you show had a new walk and everything in here Oh yeah? Can you show us the new walk, Wilder?

No, I did not Casey said that the new haircut came with a new walk You gotta take the headphones off You wanna say bye? Say it Bye Show them how long it is Wow You want to say bye? Yeah. Say it. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye.

Show them how long it is. Wow. It's beautiful. Wilder has her hair straightened, and they're going to braid it. It's very pretty. I think because Casey was here, Daniel, we should play the Casey song. Casey, come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these fools. So tell me what to do.

I don't know nothing about raising these fools. So tell me what to do. I don't know none about raising these kids. And that's what it is. Okay, what a song. What a bop. Dude, this girl got her hair blowed out and she is loving it. She feeling herself? She's walking around with that, like, wave in her hair? She's got the same hair her Barbies have now. Yeah that's the thing barbies have that hair i know it really is it

really is one of those things man like you go searching for it as a parent and stuff you know to find cartoons and stuff like that where the characters and you know nursery rhymes nursery tales where the characters have hair like your daughter, especially if your daughter is black. You know what I mean? A lot of people don't understand how big of a deal this is to little girls. You know what I mean? And, you know, for the longest, she would talk about Elsa and Anna. And, you know, she would get upset because she couldn't get her hair to look like that.

And it was like, what the fuck? Like, where do I look? Where, you know? the fuck like where do where do i look where you know and so casey found a bunch of great books about hair and you know and uh you know we've really uh built her confidence into loving the fact that she's very unique you know uh in her circle of friends you know she has something that none of them have and that's curls and uh it's just very funny to see her walking right now with uh blowed out hair and you know the look on her like she's so happy right i heard casey say that the haircut came with a new strut

yeah well it's not even a haircut because we're going to braid it we just blew it out so we could braid it uh longer. This girl is in heaven right now. I wish it could stay like that. I wish you could blow it out and it stays like that on little kids, but the second that thing gets wet, bye now!

It absorbs one ounce of water right back into an afro. I love how Daniel's like, yep, I know, and I've had an afro. You know me. So this episode, it started off, and I was like, wow, this is going to be a cuck, like right off the bat. JD. Well, JD, first of all, JD's back in there trying to be in this relationship as a threesome. He just loves her so much.

So he's willing to do whatever she likes. I know, but don't you think that would be more painful? Like, you know, you're going through a breakup. Or you've been through the breakup, but you're, like, not seeing them anymore. And all of a sudden, you've got to be this close with this couple? I think he gets turned on by it. I think there's a little bit of a turn on because he keeps doing it. Well, it's Keith that is really enjoying the lotion being spread on him.

He's biting his towel. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. In ecstasy. Yes. I mean, it's very, very homoerotic. Yeah, but you know, it's scrubs.

But wait, hold up. It's not as homoerotic as Dave. You guys warned me about the Benny Blanco, Dave episode. I told you, you got to episode three, I take it. Episode, season two, episode three. And that has taken the bromance to, because, you know, I'm watching and I'm like, well, I know they're not gay, but Benny blanco i mean uh benny blanco has dave's penis on his face right now yeah i mean they're they're very comfortable they're

very comfortable with their bodies very much so donald we never took it that far i was like that was that in my mind i was like damn zach and I never went that far. I know. I mean, there's a scene in that episode where they're showering together. I mean, they might as well be hooking up. He's got his face and his penis literally looking at him. Joelle, you didn't watch it? Joelle. I am not currently watching Dave.

I'm so sorry. You got to watch it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it for you. Spoilers, Donald. It's okay. It's all right. I review stuff for a living. So use the spoilers.

It doesn't bother me at all. I've heard nothing but great things. It's in the rotation. I will get there. But no, I haven't dived into it. All right. So it's really bizarre, man. It's really, really such a bizarre show.

Season one was wild. All right, so Elliot is taking her bikini top strap off to not get a weird suntan, which is something a lot of women do. I don't really understand why. You don't want that strap, Sean. You don't want that. When you wear a dress. Oh, it's for when you wear a dress, the bikini line will show?

Okay, I never understood. I'm like, who who's gonna see your back where the strap line was but you it's for a open back dress okay all right so we think that jd's gonna rub lotion on her but he does indeed uh rub it all over keith not only does he rub it on keith he applies it with such great force that keith bites down on his towel yeah i mean keith is on the verge of having an orgasm it seems yes no i mean i think if there's anyone if there's anyone who's interested in in a man's hands on him it might be keith because he's he's having to bite down on the towel well jd has a lot of uh gay moments in this show and one of the one of the best ones comes

later when they're talking about the dude in uh the pediatrics the dude in pediatrics and all the women in the hospital are like oh god yeah and it cuts back and you see jd for a split second with the rest of them going oh god yeah and then they're talking about a woman oh they're talking about a woman bro oh i thought they were talking about a man no don't Oh, I thought they were talking about a man. No. Don't get me wrong. JD actually would have been hilarious if JD- That's what I thought. I was like, this is so- We are so freaking ahead of our time right here.

No. With this joke. That was hilarious, though. But wait, you're getting too far ahead. Got it. All right. So then we learn that JD is, in fact, rubbing Crisco on Keith's back. Yes.

And he says, does it smell like pie crust? And I say, that's the rhododendron, Keith. Everybody knows they smell like pie when they bloom. Everybody knows they smell like pie when they bloom. And then he gets the worst, worst, worst burn you could get because I put Crisco on his back. Yeah. You literally,

you, we got watchie talkies and you call me up because Elliot's busy with Keith. Yes. JD calls up Turk and lets Turk hear his back sizzle in the sun. Yes. Yes. Now I remember, now do you remember who had the only really famous watchie talkie ever

fucking michael knight from yeah michael knight and right right i'm sorry for this show to keep coming up for everybody but michael knight had a watchie talkie that he could talk to kit could he talk to other people or just kit no just kit get me out of here kit and yeah kit i'm gonna need you yeah and kit would just come to life and turbo boost. That fucking car, man, could break through cement walls. Car was everything. Do you remember when I told you I talked to him?

Yeah, at fucking Universal Studios. Yeah, man. Kit was special in my life. Well, Kit was special in everybody. Airwolf, Kit, Blue Thunder, you know, believe it or not, even though that shit had a Confederate flag on the top of it, the Dukes of Hazzard's car. You know what I mean?

All of those things were made. The A-Team van. It's really cool that we were on a show that paid homage to all of those shows from our youth. Yeah. Well, all the writers were as geeked out on that stuff as we were you know like the janitor has an a-team van now yeah for no reason yeah no well he has a reason cox destroyed his other van but he literally has an a-team van now i don't think there's still to this oh actually there are sort of um modern day watchie talkies i think yeah that your eye your eyeWatch and shit like that.

Yeah, but I mean, I feel like... You can literally take video with that shit. I feel like once I saw some tech conference, there was a thing that was almost like the Star Trek thing, communicator thing, where you could touch it, it connected to the Bluetooth of your phone, and then you could talk to the matching person if you guys were having the same frequency or code or something.

That was cool, I thought. I guess it'd be good if you were skiing or something. All of that shit that we used to watch where they would look at somebody on a TV while they talked to them or a hologram while they talked to them, that's all come to fruition with FaceTime and apps like that. Yeah. So we have, like, you know, sci-fi.

We are living in some of it. It's just that it's not, I mean, I would love to, I don't want to pay a million. Like, who was the dude that was like, I can't make it today when that rocket went up in the air, when the Bezos rocket went up in the air? Don't you think he just got cold feet? Yeah, absolutely.

He's like, I don't want to blow up today. Yeah, he was like, I think he paid like $ 30 million dollars and then he was like you know what i'm actually busy today wow but they still got his 30 i think yeah oh yeah i'm sure that's a non-refundable take yeah i don't think you can get a refund um all right so um turk let's talk about you you're trying to have a baby okay Turk is trying to have a baby with Carla and he's not sure if his semen are good or not no he's fine with it she's not sure because she's gone through all of the she's done all of the work as usual Carla has set it up so all Turk has to do is bust you know what I mean like bustust. You think it's so- You think I'm joking. My wife sets it up, so it sets me up for success so much.

It's ridiculous. Really? Carla's very much like that. Yeah, where, you know, if I have to take the kids somewhere, everything is laid out for me so that I don't fail. Oh, I thought you meant with sex.

I thought you meant with sex. Oh, shit. I thought that she's like- We ain't there yet. We ain't there yet. I'm working on that. She lays out all the cushions. She lights the candles. We ain't there yet. I'm working on that. She lays out all the cushions. She lights the candles.

We're not there yet. I'm working on that. She gets me that belt that helps my lower back be strong. She lays out an array of cock rings for me to choose from. Yes, multiple different cock rings. Butt plugs. She pol multiple different cock rings. Butt plugs. She polishes the butt plugs. Alright, so Turk...

Okay, we tell you one more thing before we go forward. No, we're going to go into all your sperm. Don't worry. I don't want to go into... Because this is a sex episode and it has a lot to do with what's going to happen to all the OnlyFans people after OnlyFans shuts down because OnlyFans is now going to go out of business. Am I right? You're absolutely

right. It's the same thing. Tumblr wasn't even designed around sexy images and when they were like, no more X-rated content. They went from a billion dollar property to I think they sold it for like a million or two. Let's be honest, OnlyFans is going to

go bye-bye. There's no way you can say who is using do you think um why do you um does anyone know why they made that decision if that's like their main because credit card companies are starting to ban any type of sex work from being charged on their cards like mastercard was like yo you can't we're not going to allow you to use your card on OnlyFans while they allow sex workers. And it's still called sex work if the person is just doing something visual for one's entertainment. Yeah. Okay.

I just didn't know that video content was a sex worker until this moment. Yeah, absolutely. You're selling sex and, you know, in some fashion. What about if you're making people watch you eat sushi? What's that called? Well, that's the thing. It's the exact same thing, dude. sex and you know in some fashion what about if you're making people watch you eat sushi what's that called well that's the thing it's well if you think i'm saying dude it's the exact but it's the exact same thing though because somebody out there got hot off of that somebody was like damn the way he's fucking eating that tuna roll is getting me going you know what i mean you made

jokes about it the whole time no listen you know what's gonna happen something they're gonna have to stay on only fans but hide the fact that they're doing sex work. Like, see, Daniel's not going to get kicked off for doing his thing, but if he were pretending to play the video game, but really masturbating, the censors wouldn't be able to catch him. He would get caught so fast. One of the kids that watches him Twitch would be like, oh, my God.

All right. I was just trying to help the OnlyFans people. So where are they going to go, Duel? Does anyone know where they're all going to go? Zach, they're already scouting new websites where they can go. Okay, Donald, don't worry. You will have a new website soon. Let's create one. Do you want to? I mean, now, hey, don't worry. You will have a new website soon. Let's create one.

Do you want to? I mean, now, hey, you know what? Maybe you and I want OnlyFans now because sexual content is over. Nobody's going to want to watch us not do sexual content. Okay. Yeah, we'll get yelled at by, like, that one actress who got yelled at. Yeah. They're going to want to see me and you rub fucking lotion.

So Bella Thorne really made out well then because she she got um all that money and then she's like oh sorry i can't do anything yeah you can hate but she made that bag yeah well you're allowed to um show nudes you just can't so show sexual activity is that what it is they came out the day after and they were like yeah what you nothing no sexual nudity and people were like girl what it's a very confusing new policy uh now people are starting to try to attack the credit card companies and try to encourage them like you could just support sex work and make money and i don't see what the problem is um it'll be interesting to see how it shakes out but i definitely think that in an attempt to gain more money,

they're going to undercut themselves because why, who is going to only fans for anything other than sexual content? It doesn't make any kind of sense. All I'm saying is in this wildly capitalist society, we don't see ways to make money and just go, oh yeah, do more of that. It's like,

why is it taking so long to legalize weed across the country? Why is the idea of selling sex online? That is truly not hurting anybody. All that. It's like, why is it taking so long to legalize weed across the country? Why is the idea of selling sex online that is truly not hurting anybody all of a sudden like, I don't know about that. There's so much money to be made there. And to me, that's the part where I'm just like, y'all, everybody just wants to make more money. Why not just get it? Get the bag. Everybody wants the bag. The bag is right there. The bag is right here. It's like, just go get it. The next site that opens up, it's like, yeah, we welcome all sex work. They're going to be like, great. I'm a billionaire now.

It's like, why don't we start the Fake Doctors Real Friends Sex Worker Video Chat Club? I think we should start the video chat club. That's fucking nuts, dude. We'll probably have to check with iheart i don't know if it's in our contract do you think iheart would accept uh imagine calling will hey will we have

a new idea we have a new idea will i know no it's not another hyundai ad will listen what if we reopen our own sex work channel fake boobobies, real fans. There you go. Oh, my God, yes. But why it got to be fake boobs? Can't it just be? It's a play on the name of the show, Donald. No doubt. You can bring your natural titties to fake titties.

Please do. It's called fake boobies, real boobies. Real vulva, real boobs. Dan, let's see if that website's taken. All right, I'm going to look it up right now. Real vulva, real boobs. Can we get back to the show, please? You guys are going off the rails Okay, so Cox has been named the best doctor

And he wants everyone to call him the best doctor Right, it's clear that he's the best doctor, too Right, and everyone's got the whole staff lined up And it appears that he's saying If you don't say you are When he says who's the best doctor That he's got some agreement where the janitor will stick his mop up your butt yes yep that's what happened yeah that's exactly what that's in the that's in the show and they're not really joking about it i mean the janitor does they do it they do it it

doesn't to lani right yeah twice twice two times and and and and lani said it but he didn't say They do it. It happens. He does it to Lonnie, right? Yeah. Twice. Twice. Two times. And Lonnie said it, but he didn't say it loud enough. I don't know much about HR departments, but I feel like the janitor threatening and following through on shoving a broom up your butt probably doesn't fit within the rules. No, I'm going to agree with you on that one. Yes. Okay. I'm going to agree with you on that one, yes.

Okay. Now, Turk and JD, it appears that the watchie-talkies are on all the time because we're both eavesdropping on each other's lives. Yes. And you say that you want to do the dolphin. Can you explain? Now, we've cleaned the dolphin up. We probably can't really describe the dolphin even on here well we can describe the dolphin and then we'll decide later if we're going to cut it out or not

okay we'll probably cut it out but Donald explain what the real dolphin is in the most in the most elegant way and tactful way you can you're asking me to do that? yeah maybe I should do it oh my god

I will try I will try i don't think we can say this i will try my we'll just have to know what it is we'll beep it out okay so in the use use your words in the television show the dolphin is your words he slides into uh his woman like a dolphin right yeah that's in the television show yes in real life what's the dolphin in real life donald the dolphin is when you are uh having relations with your said partner yes uh and you using using using you have to be a male you have you must be a must be a male and female for it to work i believe in in the style known often used by canines.

Right. So you're having relations in the style often used by canines. Exactly. And it's when you decide to back up out of a canine situation. And choose an alternate route. And choose an alternate route. Mainly balloon knot or... Yes, yes.

And then your partner, the female in this situation, turns around you, shaking her head, and says... Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Y'all are wrong! Oh, boy. I don't know if we can keep that on the show and still keep sponsors, but you're right. Oh, boy. I don't know if we can keep that on the show and still keep sponsors. But you're right. All right.

So that's The Real Dolphin. Donald did an NBC version of it. Yes. Now, this was written by Bill's assistant, Aaron. Do you remember Aaron? Good old Aaron. Bola Jolo. Yeah.

Great guy. He was Bill's assistant for many years. And this was his opportunity to write a script after five seasons on the air. He is and was a writer. And directed by Adam Bernstein, who is one of our favorites who directed the pilot. We've given him lots of shout-outs.

Incredible director. Who also told us the dolphin joke. Did it really come from him? Yeah, it did. Oh, I've known that joke for 20 years, and I never knew where it started and you're saying adam bernstein thank you adam bernstein for sharing that with us now um we cut to turk crying with a backpack on in the field position in the bathroom what happened turk um

turk is told that backpacks aren't necessarily uh for men to wear. No, purses. Right, his backpack looks like a purse and therefore this is one of those episodes also where it's like, I don't know if that would fly nowadays. There's nothing wrong with a nice merce nowadays. Yeah, well, okay.

I feel like the joke would have taken a different turn. I feel like you'd be like, I'm rocking this backpack. How dare you? Right. But Donald, you're not going to do the thing where you wear the fanny pack. No, no, no. Donald, do you do that? I feel like you might do that.

Do you wear the fanny pack over your chest? Yeah, I do sometimes. I do both, Donald. Does your fanny pack say Supreme on it too? No, it doesn't. It says Raisin Cane's, the chicken place. Okay. Something struck me as Daniel as a potential fanny pack across chest guy.

Because he's always prepared. Daniel, do you have a Supreme t-shirt? Do you have a Supreme t-shirt? I have not a single piece of Supreme clothing. Don't you feel like the people wearing fanny packs across their chest should stop? Shouldn't this be an intervention? Absolutely not. I don't think so i think i think what's in the fanny pack you should uh you should wonder about you know because why not why not just put the fanny pack over your fanny because it doesn't look as cool as the utility looks like you know utility we're ready it's like

a chewbacca it's like the chewbac the chest. Are you also not into the bulletproof vest fashion that's happening now either? Oh, my God. Vest fashion is wild. Hold up. I think you can't. I don't know anything about vest fashion. Whoa. What?

Whoa. Hold on. Bulletproof. People are wearing bulletproof vests in the street now? They're not truly bulletproof. I don't think. Oh, it's bulletproof. That's old school.

Okay. I remember doing that forever. Yeah. But they look like Kevlar vests, but some are made of like plush cotton and they have like, everything is giant pockets right now. It's the move. I don't know if you can legally wear a bulletproof vest if you're just anybody. You can.

You definitely can. No, Joelle, look that up. I don't think anybody and everybody is legally, maybe it's a state thing. That's fucked up if you can't wear a bulletproof vest but then people could have guns i don't know let's find out the answer joelle has her looking face on in california civilians can purchase and use a bulletproof vest unless he or she has been convicted of a felony which is wild because if you've been convicted of felony there's a chance you might need one more than others. Wild.

Well, okay. I guess it's a state rule. For some reason, I remember hearing that you weren't allowed to wear one unless you had a reason. Well, you're certainly right if you're a felon. Right, but for some reason, I thought it was like a deterrent for people to go rob banks because like, no, you're not legally allowed. I don't know. I see.

I'm wrong. Or maybe there's another state that around i don't know i say i'm wrong that i don't i don't i mean or maybe there's another state that i don't know so i um so jamie in pediatrics donald is who um elliot would sleep with and then all the women who hear her name moan when they think of this woman in pediatrics but so do the men too don don't they? Or at least you do. Oh yeah, I clearly have a crush on Jamie in pediatrics as well. Turk's voice is always higher when he's nude, and then we cut

to you totally naked. Who's that wrestler? Stone Cold Steve Austin. So Stone Cold Steve Austin's bicep, which is very large, fortunately, is blocking your giblets. Yeah, it's blocking the junk trunk. The junk.

Now, do you remember shooting that? Did it take a while to line up Stone Cold Steve Austin to block your junk? Well, there's not a lot of junk, Zach, so it was kind of easy for Stone Cold Steve Austin to cover up the junk. What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do I mean? I lost you um you have such a big penis and that's just a toy yeah that's called me fishing go on okay i think it was a person i think it was a i think it was a perspective thing they put steve someone called very close to the camera so that your eel could be well hidden. Under New York state law, it's against the law to wear a body armor during the commission of a violent crime. Okay, well, I get that one too, Joel. These are very specific rules for when you can wear.

Right, you're allowed to wear a body armor as long as you don't commit a violent crime with it. Or are a felon. So far, let's just keep looking, Joel. All right, we're going to come right back and talk about how carla has some device i have no idea if it's real to get semen out of turk we'll be right back when you find that bright spot to help you get through your day it's powerful that's where the bright side comes in a new daily podcast from hello sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.

I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice,

or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums.

But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.

And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite in powerful conversations. I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. I want you all to join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter.

In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder. But even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them. Myself, as the middle generation. I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life, but it is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating. And a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and Tinder. This is Across Generations, where Black women's voices unite.

And together, you know how we do we create magic listen to across generations podcast on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts and we're back is that we're back and we're back. Is that... We're back. And we're back. Is that a real device? Does anybody know? No, I've heard of the pump before where you stick your junk in a pump and you pump it up so it can get real big. Or you try to make it big. I know, but that contraption, was that a joke contraption? I think it must have been. I'm pretty sure it was a joke contraption.

There's no way you can steal semen from somebody without them knowing it other than, you know. Were you blindfolded? Yes, he was blindfolded. She had this device, and she. I don't think you can do it. I don't think you can do it. I don't think it's possible. Well, I'm sorry to fuck up your Google,

but will you look if there's a device where someone can pull semen out of someone without them ejaculating? Is it to my phone? I got you. I'm on my non-work computer. I can look this up. Okay. Yeah, we don't want to get these guys in trouble at iHeart. Dan, is there a device that would extract semen without ejaculation?

And would it look anything like this? There's no way that's possible, dude. There's no way. All right, dude. There's no way. All right, because the semen... Look at Joel's face. What did you find, Joel? Something called a RAM ejaculator. I literally saw the exact same thing.

It's the top answer when I searched semen-stealing device. Semen-stealing device. This thing is just a... It's just a... I don't know. It just looks like a dildo on a machine that's going to... A piston, basically. Oh, it's on a piston. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, it just looks like a dildo on a machine that's going to, a piston, basically.

Oh, it's on a piston. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that's going to do it the old-fashioned way. That's for the woman, it sounds like to me. Well, or anyone who's a receiver, Donald. I would just like to, I'm just going to share my screen real quick. I just love that it says, equipment that works.

The RAM Ejaculator. Wow. A smooth probe that is inserted in the rectum of the... It produces a low voltage impulse. Oh, this is actually... Okay, for the folks who use it, dot, dot, dot,

every day. This might be for a cow. This is for an animal. This is going to make the actual RAM. Wait, don't get rid of it. I want to read it. Go back. I want to read what it said. This is not for an animal. This is going to make the actual ram. Wait, don't get rid of it. I want to read it. Go back. I want to read what it said. This is not for a human.

What is even happening today? It's for a ram. I thought it was a typo. It says a smooth probe that is inserted in the rectum of the ram. Pressing the button produces a low voltage impulse that causes the RAM to ejaculate. Semen is then collected in a sterile container for... This is someone's job, dude, to fucking ass-fuck a RAM and collect the semen.

I can't. You listener who are complaining about your job, it's not that. Oh my god. Here's the picture of the person handling it. What is this? That's where the electric bolts come out. It's very expensive. It's $4.86

if you want one. It doesn't look that big. It is interesting that electric pulses in an anus rectum cause the ram to ejaculate. Would that cause a human to ejaculate? We gotta try it. Danaculate we gotta try it dan don't get one why hard pay for this let's get that email to will going oh my god well will you see well i know

we're i know we're renegotiating our contracts for the next couple of years we want freedom will and we want we want the ability to stick a ram in Donald. Please don't make me. Not my butt. Not my butt. Can we put this on the comment? Rock, paper, scissor. Rock, paper, scissor.

Me or you. Nose goes. Rock, paper, scissor? I'm going to put it up to a game of chance like that? I'm going to stop sharing. All right, let's focus back on the show, guys. Come on. This is ridiculous.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so. You're crying. You're crying in. Okay. So you're crying. You're crying in the bathroom. I had a mimosa, I must admit. This is the first time I've ever had a tiny buzz on this show. Bullshit. I've watched you drink wine on this show before.

No. Oh, when we did a live show. Dude, I've watched you drink wine before on the show without the live show. Don't even try. No, I'm not you. All right, listen. Crying in the bathroom again, and we see all your old tattoos, which are now gone, right? Didn't you have them removed?

I did. I went to Dr. Tattoo Off. And it works. Yours are pre-gone, right? Yeah. But they take a lot of sessions, right? How many sessions did it take? Well, this one, I only did like six sessions with this one. But I was supposed to do 12, and I just didn't finish it.

What was the tattoo of? He had a Superman S. It was a Superman and then my name underneath it so I wouldn't forget it, I guess. I mean, I don't know. How old were you when you got those tattoos? 18.

And I remember I wanted it so bad. I wanted a tattoo so bad because I thought it was sexy and girls would like it. And really, at the end of the day, it was, you know, I had to paint it up for so many movies that I was in, you know, and television shows. And Scrubs was the first show that I was on where they were like, we don't give a shit. Just let it be. It's interesting, though, because we never address it on Scrubs ever.

Why it says a day of shoon on Turk's arm. Yeah. Why it says shoon. It just says shoon. Oh, it just says shoon. Yeah. I'm not going to get the shoon on turk's arm yeah well i said shoon it just says shoon oh it just says shoon yeah i'm not gonna get the shoon taken off my lower back i dare you you dare me to get shoon on my on my body somewhere i dare you to get it on your lower back i don't want a tramp stamp with all due respect to people who have tramp stamps but what if i what if i get like shoon on my arm i mean that's very nice of you.

I would... Well, it's not like we're going to break up. You know, sometimes couples don't want to get tattoos of each other because they could break up, but we're not going to break up. You know where I think you should get my name tattooed? Taint? Shaft. I think taint will hurt most.

I want it to hurt. No. All right. So anyway... to hurt. Come on. All right, listen. Laverne gossiping. Laverne in the elevator made me laugh so hard when she finds out that Turk is shooting blanks. It's a possibility

that Turk is shooting blanks. And how about every time they go around the gossip circle, I'm in there twice. I come around the other side. Because I'm getting everybody gossiping. We also learned the janitor does indeed hit Kelso with the broom on his head. Kelso then knocks on his head and we hear a clink. And someone says that he is a skull like a mountain goat. Yes.

I don't know why the janitor wasn't fired for hitting Kelso on his head with a broom. You know, there are a lot of reasons for people to get fired in this hospital. I know. Let's just be honest. I know. Well, we also learned that Kelso has a mistress that was once a lifeguard and she's the one who recently

gave his wife CPR. That shit had me rolling. Fucking. Yeah, you know, this show didn't have a lot of jokes in it, though. It's not as wacky as some of the episodes we've done so far. I know, but it was a very odd one. It was very odd. Okay, the janitor has insane

aim. He throws a melon over the hospital. Well, he must have sonar too, because he hears the sound through the phone, takes a melon from nowhere, and tosses it over the hospital

and hits JD in the head. Yes. A one in nine gazillion chance. The chances of that happening are astronomical, dude. Well, he's got a good arm. Even if he didn't have accuracy, he threw a melon over a hospital. Right.

Over a building. No, I could not. I don't think a four-story building. Yeah, a four-story hospital. Could your fanciest quarterback do it? Probably not. Yeah, because it's high. Yeah, it has to maintain the distance of the hospital in the air before it starts to come down.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, that happened. And then he knocks me out, right? Yes. And then I say on the watchie talkie, you're firing blanks? Laverne's in the elevator.

She hears it. Everybody hears it. And now it's a conversation. I'm like, I repeat, are you firing blanks? Right. And I'm like, you stupid watchie talkie. And I get rid of the watchie talkie. And this is how the janitor gets it.

He finds it in the trash. That's really fucked up that you so easily gave up on our watchie-talkies. Well, you know, it's proven nothing but a headache for Turk so far. Okay, now let's get into this sperm donor scene. The audience has to know something, and it's my father's birthday today. He's passed away, but he was very, very dear to me. So happy birthday, dad. Happy birthday. And secondly, he and my stepmother were visiting this day, and they are in background in the sperm

donor waiting room. What do you call that? It's not a sperm donor. What do you call that? The sperm bank. bank i don't know if that's where it's called where you go to test to see if you've got good sperm oh i don't know but i'm guessing it's a fertility clinic or something like that yeah anyway the funny thing is neither one of them was of an age where they would have any reason to be in fertility clinic so what's your rationalization for my my my stepmother and father being there i thought they were scoringing their son yeah i thought they were dropping off their son or something like that or it just doesn't feel like the kind of place you'd want your parents no it's not but i i do love the fact that jd has several uh ways of uh masturbating since he's uh ways of uh masturbating since he's now newly newly uh well not newly but since his since he's living in elliot's house and he has to find a way to yes now jd teaches turk the

stranger which is one of the most genius masturbation uh skills i've ever heard in my life i think it's me we didn't make it up right that's a famous thing the stranger or do we make it it has to it has to to be something that's happened before. Like somebody. I know somebody was like, you know, had you heard of the stranger outside of scrubs? Joelle, I honestly think the stranger was the first time I heard of it. It became vernacular in my friend group, I think, because of scrubs. OK, Joelle, are you still there?

Well, I, I definitely heard it before this you hadn't or have you had or had had not okay yeah all right well there you go donald even if it wasn't our originally our joke we introduced um the world to the concept of the stranger have you tried the stranger? No, I don't think it's possible to really execute with a dead arm. It's not a dead arm, it's a dead hand. Either. I don't know what you're doing with a dead hand and trying to complete the act.

Like one side can't feel it, but one side can. You know what I mean? Right, but how are you able to... Because you use the other side to imagine... You hold the wrist with the working hand? No, you don't. You use... So you're just sort of throwing your dead hand at your penis?

Do I need to say this for real? Do I need to get into this? Well, we can bleep it if it's too bad, but what do you... You use your cock as a pressure sensor. your cock as a pressure sensor. What in science just happened? What? Alright. Anyway. My favorite line.

I think I improv this one, Donald, but it's my favorite line of the scene, which is Are any of the reading materials in there available for those of us out here you did ad lib that i remember this scene because your parents were there that day yeah i do remember this scene and the and the woman gives me a look like no you're not allowed to look at porn in the waiting room right uh what about when the janitor contacts me on his watch

he talking goes hey jd this is the black surgeon that you always hang out with. Come outside to the ramp, dog. But, dude, it's like fucking Wile E. Coyote. He's going to drop a monitor on my head? I mean, that could kill me. Yeah, that could kill you. He has a freaking computer monitor in his hand, and he's waiting for you to walk out the door

so he could smash this thing over your skull. It's full-on Roadrunner and Coyote. He's going to smash a monitor on my head, and I'll be dead. He wants to murder you. Yeah, that's murder. Hey, Judy, it's the black doctor you always hang out with. Come out to the ramp, dog. So you're a fifth wheel you're not you're

no longer the third wheel you're now the fifth wheel yes jd is at the end of the show i noticed when you i'm about right before you um judy comes right before carla comes in to help you they the camera goes off a stack of uh pornographic videotes. And the top ones, they're obviously fake, so they could be cleared to be on the show. But the top one's title is Sizzle. It's a callback. Is that a callback? Is that a callback to the beginning?

To what? You don't say sizzle. His back was sizzling like bacon. And it was a homoling like bacon. Oh. And it was a homoerotic scene. Oh. Oh, no. There's a woman in a bathing suit.

That's funny. Good thinking. But no, it's just probably like a word that looks sexual that isn't, that they could actually show, you know, on a porn, on a quote unquote porn tape. Sizzle. Sizzle. And then you say to Carla, I'm about to fill this up. Right.

I'm sorry this episode is so sexual, everyone. It's about... It's about sex, though. It's about sex. I'm sorry, everybody. Like, Elliot has an intern who she's... And she's abusing the power of, you know, her status at the hospital so she could take

the intern home and fuck all the time you know like that's her goal her whole at this whole episode her thing is how can i get keith out so i can have sex with him at home so we can fuck right but then they do reveal and jd helps them out because he's so fucking weird um that keith is the best doctor so he finally comes around on keith a little bit and says no it's not yes it might be annoying to you that elliot's constantly choosing keith but he's the best doctor so shut up right and he is the best out of them all yeah and then travis is really starting to come out of his shell you know what i mean he's really we talked about it last week but you know and how he had to play catch up really fast but

he's really starting to enjoy uh his time on the show and this i think that's why he lasted so long on the series um yeah well he's great he's the perfect he's the he's travis couldn't have done this better he did a really good job now at the end jd um pulls a full shining on the janitor, and he's stuck in the walk-in freezer. Yes. Freezing to death. Yeah, we're not playing games anymore in this hospital. We're really trying to kill each other. Well, he had a fucking computer, and he was going to smash it.

But I never knew. But it's only right that you put him in a freezer for the rest of his life. Do you notice that when he's in the freezer, right? I say on the Watchie Talkie something like, I forgot what I say, but he's got, you see him frozen, but he's holding a hammer. Yes. He was going to meet me in there and kill me with the hammer. He was going to fucking bash your skull. I never noticed.

Like Harrison Ford in Presumed Innocent. I really never knew that the games had gone to this level of like death. I don't recall it going that far either, but. Well, they were stepped up in this episode. For sure. For sure. How hot is it where you are? It's so hot.

I want to take this shirt off. Is there no air conditioning? Well, I was deciding because I'm in a hot room, right? I thought Daniel would be upset about the AC noise. So I said, it's fine. I'll open the door. But now it's hot as balls in this room. Are you in Montauk?

I'm in Montauk on the AC. We can at least see what it sounds like. No, but for the people, I'll just show my breasts. There we go. Do we have a caller? Do we have a caller? We have a caller. All right.

Are they going to be okay seeing me shirtless, you think? Let's go to break and we'll decide that. Okay. We'll be right back with seeing me shirtless, you think? Let's go to break and we'll decide that. Okay. We'll be right back with a hilarious, genius, spectacular caller. Maybe Zach B will be shirtless. And if the caller is all right with that, I may take off my shirt. We'll see how they feel. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.

That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new, and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend

advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums, but I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and

it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep

and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.

And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite in powerful conversations. I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. I want you all to join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter.

In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder. But even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them. Myself, as the wrong things if you love them. Myself as the middle generation, I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life, but it is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating and a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and Tinder. This is Across Generations, where Black women's voices unite, and together, you know how we do, we create magic. Listen to Across Generations podcast on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! Alright, so Daryl, Joelle, bring us a guest that we can talk to. We got a caller, who gave us a holler. We can talk, start wars, or sing show tunes, you know, like a baller. Smoke some jazz cabbage, maybe talk about the episode. So come on, Joelle, let's get Maybe talk about the episode. So come on, Joel. Let's get the show on the road.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Douglas Walker. There he is. Hi, Douglas Walker. Hey, how's it going? He's still going. Or he froze. Donald froze while saying your last name. Oh, Hey, how's it going? He's still going. Or he froze. Donald froze while saying your last name. Oh, no, he's moving.

Oh, wow. That was good. That was some mime shit right there. I could have still kept going, too. Do you know, on Rosh Hashanah, Donald, on Rosh Hashanah, there's a Jewish tradition where someone will blow the shofar, which is the ram's horn. It's just an old tradition.

And they have a thing where they go, tekiyagadola, and that means the shofar blower is going to see how long he can hold one powerful note. And all I'm saying is you would be a good shofar blower because you can really blow a wind a long time. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. Sorry, I know that was a long way around the block, but the people that went to Hebrew school and temple understand. Welcome to the show, Douglas Walker. How are you?

I'm good. How are you doing? Good. Where are you calling from? Where are you calling from? I live in Toronto. I'm originally from Scotland. Okay.

Toronto in the house, one of my favorite cities. Now, you live in a very white space. So yeah, unless that's, yeah, that's a white space, but you have a professional microphone. What are you a singer podcaster?

What do you do? I'm an actor. So I've, and yeah, we do like a bit of voiceover a little bit here, like auditions here and there. And right. And I also use it to play dnd and

all that sort of stuff oh boy so this is like the spare room where like uh like self-tapes and uh the wife can kind of i come away to the corner to play dnd and she can kind of have some peace got it nice now for those of you who aren't actors um uh self-tapes are when an actor reads the scene you know on the old, everybody used to go into a casting office and audition in person. And even before the pandemic, it started to become easier for people to submit tapes of themselves to the casting director. And so if you're an actor these days,

you have to have a place in your house where you can set up a video camera and a microphone and record yourself doing the audition. And you need someone to read with you. I i imagine does your wife read with you when you're auditioning for things uh she used to read with me uh before we had our baby now i have a friend who kind of zooms in and uh he'll like read over zoom or if we can be in person one day then we'll we'll do it in person yeah i'm about to start seeing some auditions for my new film and I'm, I'm very excited. I'm nervous.

Are you going to audition? I think I'll presume for callbacks and stuff, but these are just the people's first submissions. And I'm, the reason I'm saying I'm nervous is I've been, I've been working on this script for so long and I haven't heard anyone other than myself say a word of it out loud. Florence,

a little bit Florence and I read a few things together, but I haven't heard anyone who's appropriate for any of the roles read yet. So those tapes are just starting to come in and it's so thrilling to watch talented actors bring what you wrote come to life for the very first time. But also scary.

I can imagine. I can imagine that being very vulnerable, like something that you've kind of written yourself and then just and have someone else read it for you it is because because because you're very you're very vulnerable and you're like i don't i think this is good but i need to hear like a talented actor say it to have me believe that it's good um all right doug what kind of questions you got for us today uh i've got a couple of questions um obviously like as i was saying i'm an actor so um i the the episodes that i found like really

really interesting are the ones where like you have guests on that kind of sort of talk about their process uh when it comes to like you know filming stuff and i do i do mostly like like theater like mostly musical theater. But over the last, like, since I came to Canada, I've been getting more auditions for like film and TV and stuff. Well, what kind of musical theater do you do? I've in the past, I've done Avenue Q, Jersey Boys, Mahamia. My friend that's with me has been in Jersey Boys.

Actually, we should have Preston come in and sing us out, Donald, because he's with me and he could sing a little something. It's a great show. And Douglas could probably harmonize with him. But anyways, it's that show that, it's one of those shows normally if I do a contract for a musical, I can't listen to the soundtrack after

doing it for months, but Jersey Boys is still the one that you can... loves jersey boys yeah like four seasons the music is so good my mom loves that musical i never saw the musical did you donald no i'm credited of being in the movie or some shit like that on imdb but i've never seen you are yeah okay i'm sorry douglas continue with your question i'm sorry uh yeah so like Yeah, so like John C. McGinley came on and talked about his process and the things like he writes bits of poetry and he puts bits of poetry in and stuff like that.

I thought fascinating. Yeah. I was just wondering, you guys have not really talked that much about your process, so like sort of paper to screen. What do you do to kind of sort of get yourself ready for a role i think memorization is key preparation is key um i used to not think that way but i do think

that way now um i think the best you're ever going to do i mean um is getting to know it so well that you don't have to think about it. Yeah. I think that's the hardest thing is because, you know, on a TV show like this, we were getting the scripts last minute and we were just doing the best we could and memorizing. But when you're really trying, and it's – I don't mean we weren't trying. I just mean we had to deal with that situation. But when you have time and it's a really important role or it's a very hard role or it's a very tough audition,

nothing for me can start until i have it so memorized that i i i'm not in my head at all about what the next line is so it's just sort of and then then you then you start to fold in what a lot of people i think forget is oh now i need to be coming up with these thoughts for the very first time. And I think one of the most important things for actors to know is you've never thought this before. Right. When you're doing a scene, your character has never thought one of those moments before.

It's all brand new. We need to see those thoughts coming to you and getting the idea for what you're about to say, just like we do in real life. We don't just all just rattle off. Now, obviously, it's heightened in a dramatic or comedic way that we're just so quick-witted. For example, in Scrubs, we always have the best joke, of course. But you still need to, even in a broad comedy like this, sell that these thoughts are new ideas because you've got them so well memorized that you're not searching for them. And then you can play with the fun

of having them come to you. I tried to take the shortcut. And a lot of people make fun of me and stuff like that. But a lot of the reasons why I didn't read scripts and this is, it's obvious an excuse, but mostly true. I didn't read scripts and didn't learn lines because i wanted it to feel fresh and brand new i got lazy after some time too i think he was lazy well no there's that too but you know there was also the fact that

i like the fact that turk didn't know if he wasn't connected to it i didn't think he shouldn't i i should know what was going on uh in the in the in the story um that's not a good thing at least i i want if you're a young actor listening don't listen for myself that didn't that didn't work it's better to be so prepared that you don't like so that when the director says hey can you do this way? You're able to do it without thinking about, well, what line should I on? You know what I mean? The minute that you don't have to worry about what you're saying, it's the moment you're able to open up and explore really what you're doing, is what I've found.

And then I think the next thing I try and do, particularly if it's something dramatic and comedic is a bit different, but what in my life relates to this? And how can I tap into? the next thing I try and do, particularly if it's something dramatic and, you know, comedic is a bit different, but how, how, what in my life relates to this and, and how can I tap into, I may, I, I most likely have not had the experience of the character I'm trying to be.

But what's closest in my life that I can really tap into and replace, you know, why with X. So when I'm passionately talking about that thing it will be as real as that similar thing is in my heart um and i'll be able to convey it as well because i've sort of replaced the two things i think that's been very helpful to me too i had a similar i had a similar experience uh in theater school we did a sometimes company yeah and i got to play bobby which is amazing that's a great role so when it came to like doing like being alive at the end

we managed you managed to get some sort of like emotional recall with it to the point i was like oh no then then suddenly you can't sing it without crying and then you have to like and then you can't sing when you're crying so you have to like unless you're ben platt he's man he's mastered that oh he is that guy if you ever saw Dear Evan Hansen. Did you ever see him do it? I never saw it live, no. I never saw anything like it in my life. And I don't know if they're singing live in the movie.

This is going to turn into a quick Dear Evan Hansen the movie ad. But, you know, Ben got teased a little bit online for like, oh, he looks too old to play a high school kid now. But come on, there's so many movies where people, I mean, look at almost every show where people don't look like they're really high school kids. But the reason is that no one could do what Ben Platt did with that song, that music.

He was sobbing every night, eight shows a week. He'd be sobbing with pain and singing with the most beautiful voice you've ever heard. That boy could sing man it's well it's a well-known fact that that boy could really sing man head's voice is incredible everybody knows anybody who anybody who's like nah he's a i is lying if you only think ben platt's eye you haven't seen this man sing they're lying they're lying they're either lying or their voice is sick yeah anyway, we should give him a shout out because he has a new album and he's a good man.

It's called Reverie. So we love Ben Platt here and pick up his new album, Reverie. All right, Doug, next question. All right. Do you mind if I take off my t-shirt? You do, man. No, I'm at the beach, okay? And I turned off the air

conditioning because of Daniel he's very very aggressive when it comes to sound design although he hasn't insisted that Donald gets sound buffers

in his echoey office he said he knows how to fix it that's why okay but I'm sweating so don't worry I'm wearing pants okay

that's fine wow I uh before I get to my next question. This looks ridiculous. Show us your abs. This looks ridiculous, doesn't it? I'm sitting here naked.

What? Let me see your trail. Hold on. I got it. I'm ready. I got it. Oh, my goodness. Let me see your happy trail.

Look at that. Looking good. Dude, not in front of Doug. Not in front of Doug. All right. Doug, next question. Yeah. Okay.

So this is for everybody. Doug, next question. Yeah, okay. So this is for everybody. Is there a piece of art, whether it be like a book, a play, a sculpture, a painting, anything that you would like to take and make a film adaptation of? What would it be? Wow. Great question.

There was a children's book I wanted to adapt called Andrew Henry's Meadow. That was always something on my list. I don't know. Donald, do you have anything that's on your mind that's not Star Wars related? That I could adapt into a movie. Wow. It's all been done before. No, Donald. That's not the attitude that Douglas is looking for.

There are a couple of role--playing games okay you're speaking his language that suck at role as role-playing games but the visuals and the artwork and all of the stuff that they put into the game is so great that you could easily turn it into uh animated series and or movie has there been a good dungeons and dragons movie no there's. Has there been a good Dungeons & Dragons movie? No. No, there's no such thing as a good Dungeons & Dragons movie. It's impossible. There's no way.

There's no way. If you were able to achieve that and make it feel like adventurers starting off and by the end of it they're experts and all of that, if you could make that happen in two and a half hours and it'd be good you are the best but like the closest thing you have to it is lord of the rings yeah okay um douglas when you play dnd you play like like like dan or uh or sorry last one or uh game of thrones that's the closest thing those are the closest things to dungeons and dragons when you play do you play like these guys guys do on a virtual board with friends?

Virtual tabletop. Yeah, yeah. We play on a virtual. So we actually started at the beginning of COVID. I think so many people started playing at the start of COVID. So there's five of us and then obviously our dungeon master. And then we're all fully vaccinated now. So we only had for the first time

like a few weeks ago we had our first in-person game ever and we haven't had ones we haven't had one since because we're like well now that we've done that we can't go back to going online so we want to but obviously everyone's schedules are like it's a little bit more difficult to get everyone in one room at one time does everyone drink and smoke weed when you play uh yes yeah i was about to say it's not dungeons and dragons if you're not doing that and that's and that was that was the allure when you when i was a kid and i was playing with all my friends it was like we would get turnouts where it'd be like 10 people and you'd be like there's no way we're gonna do a campaign with all these people tonight but people would come to smoke weed and drink too that was the reason why they were there they weren't even playing the game no but so we would have like the neighborhood drug dealer come

through and play dungeons and dragons so we could smoke weed for free with you know what i mean he was also a buddy of he was also one of my best friends growing up would he weigh in and be like don't let your goblin play he would play and he would roll some of the biggest blunts you'd ever seen in your life. And we'd pass it around and play Dungeons and Dragons, man. But it would be like, look, man, I'm going to tell you something right now. That would be the best when you'd be like, oh, shit. I don't want to say his name on here because I don't want to get him in trouble. But you'd be like, oh, I'm going to say it anyway.

Fuck it. Oh, shit. Coming tonight. Oh. I'll bleep that. How come every drug dealer's name is why why is that when i was growing up every drug yeah i guess so every drug dealer i had when we first started playing at the start of the pandemic we were playing like two three times a week because there was nothing else to do and it it got to a point where I'm like,

okay, I need to not drink for a while because it was like every session was like five or six beers. And then I'd be like, okay, I need to not drink for a bit. You got to be careful because your character will get crushed, right? Yeah. Well, my character. You're getting too messed up. You're not going to make the right choices for your character. What level is your character right now?

Level 10, Rogue Sorcerer.er okay so here's the thing here's the thing i was about to say here's the thing though what does that mean it just means he's he has a very experienced character and he's getting some pretty dope rolls out of his attacks right now like yeah how many dice do you roll for an attack like Like five or six now? Yeah. I multi-classed, so my rolls are lower. My spells are lower. So if you multi-class, you can do different types of characters. Right. So what do you have, like a dark elf, cavalier type shit?

I'm a wood elf that started as a rogue and got became a sorcerer as well and so i'm like oh so you're really you're really high level because you had to get to 10th level okay i feel like people are going to start tuning out so these are different um things dan i'll do you respect that character that sounds like something impressive and you're that sounds like a lot of fun i'll put i'll put it this way like leveling a dungeons and dragons is 1 to 20 so 10 means you've been playing for a long time. To get to level 20 is a really, really long time. I'm a 19 Ogre Magi.

But think about it. But think about it. Think about it. Dano, he has to go up in levels first with the first class before he can switch to the second class. So he was already a 10th level. Why can't I just show up at the game and be like, hey, everybody, how you doing?

I'm Zach. I'm a level 20 Ogre Magi. Let's do this. Sometimes you start a campaign like that. The whole point of the game is to level up, though. Like, you know, starting at a level 20, then you didn't earn it. You just come in all powerful.

Yeah, I'm just going to kill everyone. What's the most amount of die you can roll? It depends on what you're rolling for. Zach, I implore you. Listen, I'm begging you, Zach. I'm begging you now. I'm begging you now. Get a fucking Switch and get Zelda Breath of the Wild.

If you are looking for procrastination for writing. No, I'm not. I'm looking to get away from procrastination for writing. All right, but thank you. All right, Douglas, it's time for Toronto slash Scotland's favorite segment. It's time to fix your life. Oh, my God. God.

Just every breastfeeding mom is just pissed right now. It's all right. Let's get the baby back on. Let's get the baby back on. Let's get them back on. Okay. Take it. There it is. Latch.

Latch. Okay. They're back on. If my wife listens to this, she'll be very appreciative of that. There you go. Now, we get a lot of comments from breastfeeding moms that they appreciate it when we help the baby relatch after Donald screams. All right, go ahead, Gregory. How can we help you?

So I had a baby last year on the 31st of October. Congrats. He came 10 weeks early. So he was like a preemie baby. He's completely fine. He's absolutely gorgeous. He was just eager to meet us and he just needed to grow a little bit.

However, like since then, I was never really one for worrying. And since then, like I'm just like constantly worrying about his like well-being and his development and basically anything and everything and it's sometimes it's just at the back of my mind but sometimes it's like right at the forefront and can be quite like uh overwhelming yeah and i was just wondering if uh a it ever goes away and b if not is there anything you would recommend i First of all, welcome you to parenthood. This is what parenthood is, Douglas. This is how it is. This is forever.

Well, you get a little respite after 18 years, right? No, even after 18 years, you still kind of worry about them. I know my mom worries about me. No, I know my mom worries about me, but'm saying that like his his main goal right now is 18 oh dude listen you get to 18 you get to 18 there's a relief there's definitely a relief get when you get to the point where they can freaking think for themselves and everything and you've and you hear yourself coming out of your child's mouth you hear your knowledge coming out then you start to relax a little bit too it's like all right well they're thinking like me now and they know that i wouldn't want to do this and they're thinking well what

would daddy and mommy do so i'm starting to you know what i mean so there's that but i'm gonna keep it 100 with you for the rest of your life he's saying till 18 i'm telling you until you pass away you're always 18 years to care and worry about your child. 18th birthday, he found out it wasn't his. Is that the lyric, Donald? That song is hilarious. Yeah, it's the truth, though. I ain't saying she a gold digger.

You see him on TV any given Sunday. Win a Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai. Shout out Hyundai. Yeah, shout out Hyundai. yeah shout out hyundai shout out hyundai yeah ask them if donald can sing the full song for our sponsors all right douglas i don't have any kids but i can tell you um you know risk management everything everything whether it's getting on a motorcycle or uh swimming in the ocean there's ways of managing risk You know, so if there's things in your house, is your child walking it? No, he's like this close to crawling.

Oh, you're in trouble. Once that happens too, it gets even worse, man. Yeah, yeah. He's like getting super frustrated that he's like, he just hasn't figured out that he has to move his hands. And then as soon as that happens, it's game over. Just make sure your house is all proofed. Like even the cords, you know, the shade cords, kids can get hurt themselves on those. And I mean, obviously, I'm not an expert. Google every possible thing in your house is all proofed. Even the cords, the shade cords, kids can hurt themselves on those. I mean, obviously, I'm not an expert.

Google every possible thing in your house. So get those kiddie door fences. Right, Donald? You know, I'm thinking about it. Do you have a pool, Gregory? I'm pretty sure Douglas is already. I know. I'm brainstorming for him.

Douglas, do you have a pool? No, no, no, no. Okay, but if you ever go over a friend's house, once the baby starts douglas do you have a pool no no no okay but if you ever go over a friend's house once the baby starts crawling and walking they have a pool you can't leave them out of your sight for two seconds yeah just teach it teach teach the baby how to swim pretty early obviously yeah and that's another thing i do if i was if i was you and feeling extra neurotic um start swimming like as soon as possible because they can swim he could probably it's a boy or girl boy he could probably swim

right now well i've seen these show you them just throwing babies in the water i'm not letting them do that right now no that's i think i think i'll wait till two but that's what you really want because look let's say you do have a pool and the baby does fall in the pool it gives you enough time to get to the baby you know yeah whereas you know what i mean and where instead of the baby sinking to the bottom the baby will stay up on top and float for a little bit before it does that and you'd be surprised how long babies can swim for and i would also say if you have babysitters and stuff i think it would make me neurotic if they were driving the child around and i didn't know their driving skills get a nanny cam yeah not just for you

I'm fucking being bull I'm bullshitting you don't need a nanny cam do you have a nanny no but if and when he starts having babysitters there's no reason not to have a camera up on your shelf except just don't get caught saying

just don't get caught saying stuff to your baby monitor that's like isn't that a story that happens except just don't get caught saying just don't get caught saying stuff to your over the baby monitor that's like isn't that a story that happens where like someone goes into the to the baby's room the nursery and they're just talking shit about their mother-in-law and then the baby monitors on in the kitchen oh yeah

I think it happens in like every sitcom yeah and then they go in and they go into the kitchen and the mother-in-law's like packed she's like out of there I say you're welcome yeah you're welcome And they go into the kitchen and the mother-in-law is like packed. She's like out of there. I say you're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm going to be honest. You're welcome.

No, no, that's great. Douglas, how awesome is it to have the name Douglas Walker? That's a pretty fucking dope name. It's Douglas Walker. I love it. It's good. Doug, do you want to sing a little something for us? Anything just to give us a little sample or no? I don't want to put you on the spot No I'm alright

I'll go Stars in their multitude I think my friend I mean he may have gone To the beach but hold on I thought you were about to sing dream little dream Stars shining bright above you Night wings that seem to whisper,

I love you. Birds singing in the sycamore tree. Dream a little dream of me. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.

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the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone

and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself.

It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite in powerful conversations. I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. I want you all to join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter. In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder. But even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them. Even with a child, there's no such thing as the wrong thing if you love them.

Myself, as the middle generation, I don't feel like I have to get married at this big age in life. But it is a desire I have and something that I've navigated in dating. And a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. I'm very jealous of your generation that didn't have to deal with Instagram and Tinder. This is Across Generations, where Black women's voices unite. And together, you know how we do. We create magic. Listen to Across Generations podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, everybody, that's our show thank you so much douglas for coming on

and um donald i love you daniel i love you joelle i love you love you back if i may yes no you may not douglas no you may not don Yes, you may, of course. I just wanted to say a quick thanks to you guys, and also probably by extension Bill Lawrence. Never heard of him. Who is that? Obviously a big fan of Scrubs growing up, and it set the standard for platonic

male friendship between two guys. The relationship on that show was like, that's the kind of people I want to surround myself with and that's the people that i do surround myself with now that's good thank you so much and as is all right can i do a quick shout out it's just just uh just for my wife really because over cove since covid and she's had the baby her and her band have still managed to like write and record an album and so i thought as like a she's awesome i just want to i just want to like shout out who they are so what's the name of the album what's the name of the album where

can we get it what's the name of the band okay so the band is called lunar bloom they are a three women harmony folk band. They just finished recording their album, Running Deep. It's still getting mixed and mastered, but you can get their EP, which is on anywhere you can get music. Okay, so Lunar Bloom. It's just under their name, Lunar Bloom.

And to quote Scrubs itself, if my heart could write songs, they'd sound like this. You're a very nice husband. You seem like a very nice man. Thanks. You're also very nice people. Thank you. You seem kind and loving and I bet you're going to be an amazing father.

He is an amazing father. Well, I'm saying as the child continues to grow. Okay, Donald? Okay, calm down. Where the fuck did your shirt go? I gotta get out of this room. This room, I'm not exaggerating, is 110 degrees. Look at my armpit.

Nobody wants to see that. The time has come. Holy cow. Drum roll, please, Zach. Danil, I don't have timpani. Danil's the one with timpani. Wait a second. I got you. There we go. Danil, that dog's getting bigger, by the way. That dog is very cute, but don't let timpani. Daniel's the one with timpani. Wait a second. I got you. There we go. Daniel, that dog's getting bigger, by the way.

That dog is very cute, but don't let the dog upstage from the timpani. Timpani, now! Listen, this is incredible. Yeah! This is what's happened, okay? We went to Hyundai. This is a sum up. And we said, can we give one of our listeners who's in need of a car, a car that would really change their life, not someone who just wants a car upgrade to a Hyundai Tucson, but someone who could really have meaningful change in their life from receiving a car.

I didn't even think they were going to spring for the fancy Hyundai Tucson. I thought it might be like the entry vehicle or whatever, the lowest one they have. Oh, you mean what I'm driving right now? Yes. The Kona. Yeah, but the Kona's still a great car it is it's electric but these folks came and said absolutely we will um and we'd like to give them a hyundai tucson and donald and i were like whoa whoa whoa what then i went to iheart i want to take credit for this, but I really feel like – I don't even know how it's – Go ahead.

Go for yours, dude. No, no. I don't mean separate from you. I want to say that I went to the good people at iHeart and said, hey, I don't want someone to get – sometimes when someone wins a luxury car like on a game show or something, they're then stuck with some insane tax bill. a game show or something. They're then stuck with some insane tax bill. And I said, I don't want to strap someone who's clearly in need with a surprise tax bill for a, yay, you want a luxury car. And I heart said-

You know what? You can't lie. This was all you that did that. This is the truth. I did do that, but I want everyone, all the listeners to know, because some of you are like, oh, you're're gonna stick this kind person in need with the tax bill no we're paying the taxes we're paying the taxes um so i could get real controversial right now but i'm not gonna do it i'm not please don't do it this is a celebration

daniel get the timpani ready again hover your finger over the timpani ready again. Hover your finger over the timpani. All tax paid. Now, I want to read, before we bring on the winner, I would like to read people that were with some amazing submissions, and I want you to know that every single one of them was read by our team

and narrowed down. And I have to say that there was a slight soft spot in our heart for this particular writer because she is a nurse's assistant. And the people submitting paragraphs were limited to 100 words, and I'm not sure if she used all 100 words. Joelle, did you do a word count on the winner? I didn't do a word count. I know she could. Joelle, did you do a word count on the winner? I didn't do a word count.

I know she could have gone over. Let's do a word count. I want to know how she won with 87 words, whatever it is. I'm going to read you what she wrote. Okay. Everybody count while he reads. Let's go. No, no.

Joelle knows how to do a word count. She's a writer. I got the answer what is it 99 whoa thunderous applause daniel thunderous applause and she kept it in the rules yes wow we also love a rule follower okay i'm gonna read you um i'm gonna read you what the winner uh wrote to us before we bring her on uh quote this would be a dream come true to win this car. Right now, I put the kids on the bus for school, and then I walk three miles to catch a bus to go to work as a nurse's assistant. As a single mom with one income coming in, getting a car is not in the

budget as I can barely pay the bills. Winning this car would relieve so much stress, especially coming into the winter season ahead. Being able to drive means I could work more hours and possibly look for a better job for my family. Love that. You had us at all of that. All 99 words. You had us at all of that. All 99 words. So we are on behalf of Donald Faison,

Joelle Monique, DJ Daniel Goodman. Aren't you happy I know your last name? I'm honored. You honor me. You honor me. I don't have my thing plugged in. You honor me. You honor me. And of course, Hyundai, the good people at Hyundai

and the good people at iHeart. So we are very thrilled to welcome our winner, Anne Doyle. Donald, please do a celebratory. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight on a very special episode of Fix Your Life, we welcome Anne Doyle! There she is. I don't know how to do anything. I always have my son help me. Oh, well, it's so nice to meet you.

And congratulations, you won. Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. The kids have been going crazy here in the house. I'm actually hiding it in their bedroom where they don't like to go. Oh, that's very sweet. Well, not only did you win, but you won. When we set out to do this contest for someone, we thought, okay, well, understandably, Hyundai will probably give the base model.

They gave you, like, the sweet Hyundai Tucson. It's incredible, really. I was crying earlier. Oh, good. Tell us a little bit. We read your note. We just read your note, which we thought was beautifully said. And, of course, it goes without saying, on this show, we have a soft spot in our hearts for single moms and of course, people in

the medical profession. But tell us a little bit about, please, just how this car is going to change life for you a bit. Oh my gosh. You know, in the morning, I have to rush to get the kids on the bus. And then I have to, actually, I started running to the bus stop which is like miles away so that I can get like a couple extra hours in but I had to take the bus all the way to work and then so it limits the time I can actually do work because I have to make sure I'm back here and not having the kids on the street here before I get home from work um so the car is gonna I'm gonna be able to go like uh maybe a different job or something like that. And they'll give me more full time work because now I don't get benefits or anything like that.

And the kids are never able to do sports at school or after school or like play dates because how are they going to get there? And so we'll be able to do so much, you know, working, as you say, in the medical profession, I'm not only an aide, but we had so many sad cases over the year. Some patients died there with the COVID and all that business. This will be so exciting.

At least we'll be able to drive to work, listening to the radio. That'll be so nice. Oh, no. The car, it doesn't come with a radio. Yes, it does, Don. No, no, no, no. All it has is the motor. There's no air conditioning.

There's no air conditioning, and there's no computer, so you have to roll the windows down. I tell you, if it was like a Houston car, I would take it. And I don't know if you saw the little funny video

we made driving around in the Tucson when we did that show, but it's that exact car that we had that we were driving around in. It's a baller car. It really is a baller car.

It's really nice. It has that whole clear roof thing and your kids are going to love it because it's super cool and we're just so happy for you and the idea of you being able to take your kids are going to love it because it's super cool. And we're just so happy for you. And the idea of you being able to take your kids to activities

and not be walking three miles to catch a bus after you take them to the bus stop, especially in winter, I just – Donald's – What city are you in? It's work and work, Wayland. We're in Wayland. So it's like far – we're in the middle of nowhere pretty much. Wayland, where? What's work and work. Weyland. We're in Weyland. We're in the middle of nowhere, pretty much. Weyland, where? What's the next closest city?

The next closest city? Like a big one, everyone knows. In Massachusetts. We're in Massachusetts. Weyland, Mass. The middle of nowhere. This is definitely going to work because I know how cold it gets in the New England area. The most we've ever given people is a case of kombucha and um and that always goes over very

well and no offense to gt's kombucha but uh a hyundai tucson is uh is one step more baller it's so beautiful so beautiful we were watching a video on it oh that's oh really i can't believe it that's nice wait hold up you were watching a video on it oh that's oh really those kids i can't believe it that's nice wait hold up you were watching a video on the hyundai tucson yeah and its features on the phone my my son showed me how to do it on the phone on its features i love it yeah do you remember that do you remember when you had like i remember when i was younger and it was like the car if there was a car that i really wanted i would go to at least go to the dealership and get the handbook. The brochure.

Yeah, the brochure and look through the brochure and everything like that. That would happen to me when my father would go to look at a new car. I would get all the brochures in the whole dealership because he barely cared, but I loved cars. And I would sit there at home and look at what paint color I might get and what features I would get. If I get the S series, I'm going to go candy blue. You know what I mean? But if I have to get the C. My father never cared, but I was like, we definitely need the behind the front seat monitors.

The kids are saying, oh, can we have 10 seats or seven seats? I'm like, I only need three seats. Yeah. Well, yeah, it comes with that for sure. Well, it actually has some really cool safety features that we found out when we were driving. It has this, remember that thing, Donald, about, oh, what I love about it actually

was when you turn the signal on, let's say you turn your right signal on a camera that shows your blind spot comes up in the in right in front of you right in front of the steering wheel like where your speedometer is a camera showing if any car is in your blind spot comes up on your dashboard it's pretty cool i wish my car i have a nice car and it doesn't have that i wish my car had that anyway we don't want to take more of your time we just wanted to celebrate you will you please um when you get it and it's in your possession will you please send us some pictures of you and the kids so that we can um we can put them online and just uh show everyone you and the kids and the

new car oh that would be that would be great, no problem. The kids will love that. Okay. Thank you really much. Donald, what else do you want to say, Don? I'm excited for you. And I know my grandfather lives in Springfield, Massachusetts. And so I know how cold it gets. And I know how SUV is definitely needed in the winter. And I know how SUV is definitely needed in the winter.

And so I'm just so happy that Hyundai was so willing to give us a car first off, but then that we were able to get you a car. Yeah. You know what I mean? And we noticed, by the way, Ann, that you hit 99 words. We did a word count because that's how particular we are in our contest. If you had done 101. word count because that's how particular we are in our contest. If you had done 101, oh, man!

I don't think 101 would even get through to us. If it never got through! And you only ended up with 99, and I wonder if there's one word you'd like to add. Maybe just thanks. Well, listen, we are grateful to you working in the health industry. And we all, every single one of us, appreciates how hard it is to be a single mother.

It sounds to me like you're a really fun single mother. And your kids are about to have a really, really cool SUV thanks to Hyundai. So congratulations and thank you so much. And send us pictures. Send us pictures of that beautiful Hyundai Tucson. Oh my gosh. Definitely. Alright, Anne. Take care. Bye-bye. Alright, take care. Wow, I can't believe

we gave away a car. Well, we did it. She's very sweet. Joelle, make sure we get pictures because I think it would be fun to put out on the interwebs and show people Anne and her kids and their new Tucson. Shout out to Hyundai, man. Like, for real, for real, for real, man. You guys are awesome for this.

And thank you for partnering with us over here, Fake Doctors, Real Friends. Don't you feel good, Donald? I feel great. Like, I did something. What about, I got emotional when she was like, my kids can't do playdates or sports or anything. Well, when she said the sports thing, that really can't do playdates or sports or anything. Well, when she said the sports thing, that really hit home because you know how my kids always, always. What if she had been like, I can't take them to see Star Wars?

I would have been like, let's see if we can get you a flat screen inside. I'm going to spring for a flat screen. No. All right. Well, I'm so happy, man, that we did that. That was really cool, man. Really nice. Thanks, everybody.

Thanks, Joel and Daniel for making it happen. And thanks, iHeart. And thanks, Hyundai. And all right. You know what? I think, man, we should try and figure a way to do things like this more often when we partner with, you know, where we partner with big companies, whether it be car or like GTs. They're so

awesome for doing what they do also. We got to shout them out also. We can give away some free therapy from BetterHelp maybe. Ooh. Okay. I'm just brainstorming. That's kind of fun. That's actually kind of fire, dude.

If we could get that going. Y'all see Amanda dance? Oh, my God. She has a good shot at winning this thing. She's so talented. Biggest competition is probably, what, JoJo? I think JoJo. Christine Chu is definitely competition, and I'll tell you why.

One, she's been going to the show for season after season after season like she's sat in the audience and watched that doesn't matter and she's dreamed of this i know this is her this is jojo siwa first of all it's about voting all right now jojo siwa's got like a zillion followers it's a great story and um i think Amanda, I know I'm biased, but I think Amanda is the best dancer. Yeah, I agree. But I don't know that Amanda has enough voters because

it's all about popularity, ultimately. Well, everybody can only vote ten times. Were you sad when your Karate Kid guy got kicked off? I kind of saw it coming. Yeah, he couldn't really dance. I'm sure he could dance.

No, I don't think he could dance. He's just a little bit older than everyone else. That's fine. There's plenty of 75-year-olds who can shake a leg. I don't think that particular gentleman could dance. I bet you wouldn't. I'm not saying I'd be any better. I bet you when he was younger and he was limber

and doing his karate back then, he was very – Have you ever seen these old men on the dance floor that know all the moves and they're twisted and they're spinning and they don't – A lot of those cats danced as a youngster. Well, young people had to learn ballroom dancing back in the day. You know how JoJo Siwa is the first woman to be able to dance with a female dancer? I was thinking we approached the show about you and I dancing together. Yes, please. Why not?

Why are you shaking your head? Because we're going to get kicked off right away. No. Because neither one of us knows how to ballroom dance. You're a very good dancer. Yes, neither one of us knows how to ballroom dance. You guys will practice. We won't ballroom dance.

We'll break dance. With the rap by little old me, Lamar. We'll pop and lock. They'll be like, no matter what they say, and now Donald Faison and Zach Braff with the Foxtrot will still come out and pop and lock. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yes, and you know how everyone changes their song every week?

It's always a Revenge of the Nerds song. Ours will always be a rap by little old me, Lamar. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Everyone changes their song every week. Ours will always be a rap by little old me, Lamar. This week, Zach and Donald with the tango. Pop and lock. Clap your hands, everybody. I bet you we wouldn't get kicked off for a long-ass time. There you go. Can you ask the Dancing with the Stars producers if they'll make an exception?

I'll write them right now. Right now. We'd get kicked off so fast. There'd be so many people that would be like, they're not taking this seriously. Yeah. People are very, very serious about this. Yeah. I didn't understand how popular this show is.

This is not. Dance is a serious, serious ballroom dance. Did you see the movies, The Silver Linings Playbook? Yeah. Do you remember what that movie was? Yeah, they build up to a ballroom dancing competition, I recall. Yeah, yeah. Why are you laughing, Carl?

Did something happen on the animated Star the anime do you remember how serious people but do you remember how serious do you remember how serious wait you listen to watching star wars right now yeah no what's that fucking show called that she watches what's it called yeah she's you know sometimes joelle laughs and i'm like is it the show or did something happen on rebels in the background i just like don Donald's passion for Silver Lines Playbook. He's like, it was all spelled out right there in that movie. It's serious stuff. It's serious stuff.

If you see how those people, they were so pissed off watching the two of them at the end of the movie dance. They were so upset, all of the people that were there. And they didn't give a shit. They were like, all we got to do is get like a five. That was Merman's first movie, Strictly Ballroom. I never saw that. So goddamn good. Is that a documentary?

No. Oh. No, I'm thinking of Mad Hot Ballroom. Never mind. Sorry. It's his first movie. I have not seen Strictly Ballroom, but I have seen Mad Hot Ballroom. Is that the one with the kids?

Yeah. That one's so great. Anyway, vote for Amanda, guys. Come on. We want her to win. We don't have... She doesn't have the fan base that Jojo Siwa has, and we want her to win. So vote for her. Right?

Yeah, absolutely. Donald, did you vote 10 times for her? You want me to be honest? Yes, I want you to be honest. I voted once, but that's bullshit. You can just copy-paste 10 times in a text. Is that what you did? Yeah.

You say Amanda to whatever number they give you on the show, and then you copy that text, and you just go paste, paste, paste, paste 10 times. You can't do that for Amanda. It'll take you 11 seconds. I'll do it next Monday. Dick. I thought you were going to say something funnier that you voted for Cody.

Cody got screwed because of COVID. Yeah, that sucks, man. Damn, Cheryl. You had to get that vid, man. But he still looked good on his rehearsal video. Dang. I wanted to see Cody dance. I'm not going to lie.

Do you know why I wanted to see Cody dance? Because you have a crush on him there's a little bit of there's a little bit of a man crush on cody i'm not gonna lie yeah when when when amanda took that picture and sent it to us of the two of them yeah there was a little bit of jealousy jealousy in me no i'm not gonna lie i just want to hang out with the dude and crack like he's really funny he's so well i just want to laugh out with the dude and crack jokes. He's really funny. He's so funny. I just want to laugh with him. This is the way we're going to get him on our show is because Amanda's going to get his cell phone number and we're going to stalk him. We're going to have to.

Yeah. Oh, this is our goodbye call, guys. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to tell you something. Yeah, we're going. You're good. You're good.

You're a fabulous movie. If you guys want to tell me to break a leg, it would be nice. Well, break a leg, man. You want it right now? You want it right now? What is happening? I'm pretending that Donald's hitting me in the face. He's pretending it's my cock in his face.

I'm pretending this is Donald. Oh, the mic is Donald's penis. Okay, I'm caught up. You're just lovingly stroking it. Okay, that's enough. That's enough. You're getting hard, aren't you? It's a little movement. I'm caught up. Donald, this is what I would do. Donald, this is what I would do. Okay, that's enough. That's enough. You're getting hard, aren't you? It's a little movement.

I didn't lick it. I just put my nose on it. I'm so happy you didn't lick it. I'm prepared. All right. Do not. All right. How did it smell?

How did it smell? It smelled like sports. Oh, no. All right. We love you guys. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time. Five, six, seven, no. All right. We love you guys. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time. Five, six, seven, eight.

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We love you guys. So gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch show with Zach and Donald Mm-hmm Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay And I'm Simone Boyce And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side A new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations

about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes, with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine.

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