Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 516: My Bright Idea

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

On this week's episode, Turk accidentally learns that Carla is pregnant before she does, so JD convinces Turk to tell the entire hospital staff so they can all surprise Carla. In the real world, we're talking about our willies again. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.

We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting, that's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes, with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine. with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine. With original kids' bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream. Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.

This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Hi, baby girl. I have a bit of a dilemma. Uh-oh.

I gotta go pee. Okay, well, we'll keep the show going. That was Donald's entrance, everybody. Okay, well, we'll keep the show going. That was Donald's entrance, everybody. You would think he would urinate in all the other hours that we're not recording a podcast. I have so much to talk to you guys about, but I don't want to not include a day as soon. Oh, my gosh.

How does your urination? Did it come out okay? It came out wonderfully, first of all first how was your stream what did it flow like did it flow like a 47 year old or like a 22 year old i wish it flowed like a 22 year old i i'm envious when i escort my eight-year-old son to the restroom to Yes. He could stop it at a dime. On a dime. It's like... Yeah. And that's it. I'll go... I'm here to tell our male listeners that you must savor the strength of your urine stream

yes savor it savor it now i'm gonna be honest with you i do like hashtag 46 47 it doesn't it doesn't fire hose anymore i'm gonna tell you something right now i do like to try and control my stream though why because i hear it's good for erection. Really? To stop your urination? Yeah, like it's- Now, that is a fake doctor fact, everybody. So don't- Absolutely. But it's like kegels?

Is that what it is? Kegels, that's when you tighten. Yeah. Well, men don't have kegels, do they? But you have a muscle. But you have a pelvic floor. Yeah, you have a muscle in your penis. I know.

I'm tightening it right now, but I don't think that's called doing Kegels. I think that's when a woman- Well, whatever it's called, whatever it's called- Joel, what's it called when a man does Kegels? Dude, let me finish. If you can do it properly, you can gain some inches, according to the website I was on. Gain inches on your erection? Yes.

According to the website I was on, can go what earth and inch i don't remember what it was you're saying if it was something to do with if you tighten your whatever muscle not your sphincter muscle the muscle that is attached it's like your um it's like your prostate muscle or something something like no that doesn't make sense no it's like where it's your taint basically your taint area but no now you don't want your sphincter to get tight you don't want that area i'm trying i'm trying it right now you want to try it right now yeah it's fucking dan i'll try it with us i used to walk around scrubs when we were doing the show i used to walk around scrubs i told dionte about this too

dionte gordon i was like dude i was on this site and i don't know what but they say if you do this and he and i were walking around the set doing this shit. That is ridiculous. You think I'm bullshitting. I don't think you're bullshitting, but I'm thinking that it's fucking ridiculous. The Mayo Clinic says that there are such things as Kegel exercises for men. Really?

Oh, Jen. And what are the benefits, Joelle, of doing Kegel exercises? Strengthen your urinary tract, I guess. That's what it's saying. Dive deeper, Joelle. Joelle, dive deeper. Donald claims a male can gain length on his erection. That doesn't feel accurate to me.

I'm just a fake doctor. Why not? It's a muscle. It's a muscle. It's an organ? What is it? It's spongy tissue. It just fills with blood. It's spongy tissue that fills with blood. Okay, so why can't you make it so that more blood can get there? Okay, so here's from the Mayo Clinic. Real doctors say Kegel exercises for men can strengthen the pelvic floor muscle, which support the bladder and bowels and affect sexual function.

The practice Kegel exercises for men can be done just about any time. Oh, I'm doing it now. The best. It feels good, too too I'm pretty sure that website that you saw that on Was a porn website Do you think so? Was it called Pornhub? These three exercises will make you last longer You know what you saw, Donald?

You think so, Donald? You know what you saw? Fucking looking Sherlock Holmes over there, buddy. Donald. Donald. Yeah, he did figure it out. You saw like an ad during a porno that was like, want to increase your size?

Listen, man. There's this one porn ad. Joel found something else. Go on, Joel.elle go on i'm listening i was just learning about the technique oh i'm practicing it i don't need to learn joelle i'm practicing they say the best time to do it is before any activity that puts pressure on your abdomen so if you're going to sneeze you want to do a kegel right before that sneeze comes and that's good apparently tighten everything up laughing that's the perfect time to do a Kegel.

It's a little harder. It's hard to do when you laugh. I'm going to try doing Kegels while I laugh. Yeah, my penis just got longer. I felt my erection grow. Oh, I didn't mention the erection. I was going to say the same thing. My penis just grew in girth at least a quarter of an inch. I felt my erection grow. Oh, I didn't mention the erection. I was going to say the same thing.

My penis just grew in girth at least a quarter of an inch. There's this one porn ad that's like, are you alone? And it's like, yeah. Obviously. I mean, it's Captain Obvious if I'm looking at porn. Obvious. Most likely. No, I'm not sitting here with all my friends watching this.

There's that great meme, though. Have you seen that one? No. What's the meme? It's that ad where it says, are you really watching porn by yourself? And then it turns around, and it's this guy, and he goes, no, I'm with my boys. And there's like 20 people behind him. The ad I'm talking about just says, are you alone? And it always makes me feel so ashamed it's like

well yeah i mean that's why we're here right that's what's led us to be together today oh man you know it's it really is true, man. I want to thank all of the... I do, you know, and I'll probably get in trouble for this and we might even cut it, but I do want to thank the porn industry for when I'm on the road and away from my wife and in a hotel room.

I can see the New York Post headline. Donald Faison. Donald Faison thanks porn industry. We get a shout out to Sex Workers right here. Yes. Joel, of course, phrased it better. Thank you to Sex Workers. Daniel, did you gain?

Tell us I blew you up on Twitter as an experiment. It was so sweet of you. Did you get? I only lurk a little on Twitter these days because I find it's such a hot mess. But I happened to be lurking and I saw you and I thought, I'm going to blast this mofo up. I don't even understand really what Twitch is. And then Bill Lawrence got into it. He's like, what the fuck is Twitch?

What the fuck is Twitch? Anyway, so how did it go? Did you gain some new... Did people throw money on you at the poll? People threw money on the poll. I twerked for them. I twerked for all the new Scrubs fans who came through. What game did we play?

We played a little bit of this game, Splitgate. We played a little bit... We just played a little bit of everything. I'm going to beat Mario on Friday. Did you avoid eating this time? I don't want to send my loyal Twitter followers. I did avoid eating this time. You still follow me, even though I don't post barely to you if you're going to eat food. No mukbang, huh?

No mukbang this time. But yes, I appreciate that. It was a bit of a surprise stream. I usually stream on Wednesdays, but there was a kind of a Twitch boycott happening yesterday. So I decided to stream on Wednesday. Long story short. Yes, give us the cliff notes. We don't want to go down a Twitch wormhole.

A lot of people are... I'm doing my Kegels. There are a lot of women, people of color, LGBTQ streamers who are getting what are called hate raids, where people are just coming into their channel and reporting them just because they are who they are. And Twitch is not doing enough about it. So everybody on Wednesday decided that we were taking a day off Twitch to make them aware of what's going on.

They lost about a million concurrent viewers on Wednesday. So hopefully the message was received. Yeah. Excuse me. Break it down for the layman like me. Excuse me, break it down for the layman like me. People come on to your Twitch if you're a target, and they report you for doing something against the rules so that your site gets shut down?

Yeah, basically it's just like a mass reporting sort of thing. And it's all baseless. It's really just to be hateful and mean, and it is something that Twitch does not take seriously enough. And whether or not they're actually acting to fix this, they are not communicating that to the community who uses their service. So until we see some actual change, everybody took a day off on Wednesday. Wow, there's a lot of drama in video gaming, I think, right?

There's a lot of like this Gamergate thing, and there's a lot of... I mean, I guess I don't know anything about it. I just know that whenever I talk to gamers like you, I always hear these tidbits of all this, well, hate, actually, is what it is, right? I mean, it's unfortunate that, you know, the world of video games is still marred by people who are hateful, who want it to be, you know, strictly for cis white men, for it to be, you know, a space where it's like, you know,

well, we don't need all this SJW shit in our games. And it's like video games are supposed to be for everybody. They are supposed to reach lots of people. They're supposed to tell the stories of everyone. They're not just supposed to be for one narrow group of people. And so unfortunately, people on the Internet decided to get really aggressive about, you know, just being mean to other creators and people. Aren't you amazed by

the anger and hate in people's hearts still like i just i always think i'm always so surprised when i see like the level of anger and hatefulness in the world well what i will say on a positive note is that everybody that you brought to my channel who's a huge fan of you and a huge fan of the show was very sweet i got I got like 100 followers, and everybody was so kind. You're adding to the community of positivity, so I really appreciate that. If you're one of my friends, fans

from Twitter, or anyone listening, don't go hate Report Danil because he's a very nice man. that's very kind of you thank you don't go well that's a that's true do not yeah don't do any of that don't do any of that don't go write mean things to an appear if you follow fake doctors real friends or you just follow zach and i it would be really awesome now i'm wishing here, I'm dreaming here

I'm a big dreamer here I can't wait to hear what this is going to be let's get Dano's followers up to over a thousand how many followers do you have? well I have 5,000 right now let's get it over

let's get it over 10,000. 10,000. Yeah. That would be very sweet. I mean, you're all very kind about. Let's take a break from wanting to follow me, Donald Faison, who has half the followers of Zach Braff. Maybe more.

I think Zach doubles me. I think he has a million point five. Whatever it is, he's got way more than me. But my fans are loyal and we're going to go fucking watch Danil twerk on Twitch. Alright, so if you like Twitch,

follow Donald Faison and then follow Danil Goodman. Calm down. Take a breath. And if you feel like it, you can follow Zach Braff. Have a sip of water. Calm down. Also go follow Joel Monique. And if you feel like it, you can follow Zach Braff. Have a sip of water. Calm down. Also go follow Joel Monique. Yes, but listen. And follow Joel Monique. I didn't mean

to give you yet another Twitch plug, but this is it for now. If you watch people on Twitch, if you're one of these people who enjoys watching people play video games, and occasionally mukbang, follow Danil's

Twitch what is it Danil tell them it is twitch.tv slash DJ underscore Danil same as my Twitter same as Instagram same as all that alright there we go I'm excited for you Danil since you're looking a little glum over there what's your Instagram

handle follow Joelle Monique our goddess our queen it's just Follow Joelle Monique, our goddess, our queen. It's just Joelle underscore Monique. It's J-O-E-L-L-E-M-O-N-I-Q-U-E. Listen to how she says it. The rhythm. The voice. The rhythm of those letters. That woman has a voice. I bet you can sing,

Joelle. Can you sing? A little bit. I carry a tune in a bucket. She's like, and I am telling you. Speaking of which, I'm very excited. I'm going to see Broadway is back. And I am going with Amanda Kloots to the opening night of Waitress on Broadway tonight. Amanda is staying with me.

She's in the other room getting makeup and hair done because they're doing a tribute to Nick. After the curtain call, Amanda is going to come out on stage and Sara Bareilles and the entire cast and orchestra are going to sing Nick's song, Live Your Life. That's awesome. Oh, my God. I'm already crying.

I think I'm going to cry when I see the marquee of the theater. But I'm going to escort our buddy Amanda and we're going to have a special memorial night. Nick was in the original cast, for those of you who don't know, of Waitress. And Waitress is an amazing show. And I've seen it a few times

but never had the chance to see Sara Bareilles play the lead in the very show she wrote. So I'm very, very thrilled. And I just love Broadway so much. And you have to be vaccinated, of course, and you have to wear a mask. But I don't care. I'll wear a full bodysuit to go see some theater.

Are you going to wear N95? Are you going to wear a cloth mask? N95, baby. N95 all the way. Double vaxxed. I'm ready. I'm ready to hear some people sing. Yeah, man.

That sounds like a wonderful night. I wish you were with me, Donald. Sounds like it's going to be an emotional night. I wish you were here. Sounds like it's going to be an emotional night. Yeah, man. I wish you were next to me. You know, we went to a play together, and you were very fun.

We saw Moulin Rouge together with Florence. Still, yes. To this day, that is still one of my favorite musicals. Because, you know, I have issues with musicals that jump into musicals, and it comes out of nowhere. You know what I mean? And Moulin Rouge, I know it's- Where the singing starts out of nowhere?

Yeah, where the singing starts out of nowhere. It's like, if you can be clever and make a musical, where the singing starts out of nowhere. It's like, if you can be clever and make a musical and the musical is, and the music comes in with great timing and everything, I'm really into it. Or if the whole thing is a musical, I'm really into it. Moulin Rouge is one of those shows where they met, where they're very, they were very, very, very, very slick

about how they put in all of these pop hits you know what i mean and i thought that was really cool and they all could sing too you know yeah well donald's fun to go to a musical with because he's like in church he's like he wants to like stand up well if you could well you know i mean a lot of these artists a lot of these artists uh you know don't necessarily want to be on the stage doing plays. They want to be in a studio making music that way. A lot of these artists are straight up singers.

I think if you're doing Broadway, you're doing it because you love it. There's not much money in it. You're doing it because it's your passion. I'm not saying they don't want to record. Of course, every singer wants to record. But I'm just saying... That's my dog. Fozzie you notice Joelle's dog doesn't bark

yeah we gotta send Fozzie back no you don't alright on that note let's get into the show Donald 5, 6, 7, 8 I said, here's some stories about a show we made. About a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said, here's some stories that we all should know.

So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Hilarious show. We're back. Season five is back. I laughed my ass off. It's back, and it was very funny. I remember this episode, obviously, because it was Carla finding out some wonderful news. I won't spoil it for all of you listeners.

We'll get into it. Well, I think if they're listening, they've had it spoiled already. We're pregnant y'all we're gonna have a baby it's so moving it's funny this many years later at the end i still get emotional because this show is about friendship and ultimately and love of friends and at the end when we're all just hugging each other at the bar celebrating this couple i'm just so invested i i understand why fans you know were so invested themselves and i was just so moving i i was like getting goosebumps because we just love these people and we love them we love their group we love their friendship we

love their love of each other yeah you know at this point if you ride them with us you put it it's a ride or die mentality at this point. Yeah. Season five, we're in the middle of season five, you know, gearing towards the end, actually. We're, you know, almost there. And we've invested in these characters for five years. Carla is finally pregnant, something that she's really wanted.

And if you watch the show, you've definitely wanted that for her. Yeah. You know? Judy's so good. I mean, you're both so good in this episode. She's exceptional, though, man. But Judy has, like, the – Judy at the end, man. If Judy – Judy shouldn't even have to audition for parts.

She should just send her performance at the end of this episode to people and be like, that's my audition. Right. She's amazing, dude. She's so talented. There are some really great moments in this episode that I laughed really hard. But the fact that a group of people are willing to do this, this is before the whole gender reveal party shit, too. You know what I mean? Right. you know reveal you know gender reveal party right too you know what i mean right and so the fact that this whole hospital was willing to shut the fuck up and not tell her even though even though

uh it it it turns into something else the fact that they were willing to do that for her is amazing and and the fact that then that they were willing to break up the small party right away to so that she would have a opportunity to tell each and every one of them individually. Cause that was her dream that, you know, you really understand how tight, how a tight knit group this hospital is.

Yeah. Cox even agrees to do it. Yeah. Everyone, everyone, everyone, no one, no one,

Judy doesn't have a nemesis. Carly doesn't have a nemesis. Right. Right. Like everyone in the hospital, like has people that like them and don't like them But I don't think anybody doesn't like Carla Right, we haven't run into that yet I don't think we do run into that I don't think we ever do run into that The hide and seek thing

First of all, is this hide and seek gadget I wish it was a real thing because I would buy it It's so fun Yes, especially if it could It's the Mandalorian. It fucking is the Mandalorian. We were playing the Mandalorian before. We were playing Bounty Hunter before they even thought of it.

You have a tracker. Yeah. That's your chain code. Your chain code is attached to your freaking whatever the tracker is and I'm following you around trying to find you. Holy shit. I knew the Mandalorian came from Scrubs.

Chalk another one up for Bill Lawrence. Donald Faison. And Bill Lawrence. Yeah, well, Donald Faison, Black Storm Trooper. Yes. Check it out on YouTube. Yes, please watch. Donald, I knew at the beginning that when you're like,

I'm not, I'm doing this hide and seek with one of my sick patients. I didn't remember, but of course I knew it was going to be me, but I still laughed my ass off when that cabinet opened. And then the reveal, though, because the cabinet opens and you still don't really see your face until all of the stuff falls off. I know. So there's still that small, like we give you like an even, a split second more of hope that he was telling the truth.

And no, he's lying. That was hilarious. And I'm so excited. And I go, I go, okay, okay, I'll count. Hide a brother up. Sorry, close a brother up. Then I go. We're so fucking dorky.

Yeah. But by the way, I'm laughing at us. us But at the same time I'm sitting there going This would be so fun if this was a real invention Yeah man it is a real invention In the Mandalorian I don't think you can buy an electronic hide and seek game Joel's good at that Okay there it is

Well first of all didn't you think it was interesting That the thing The tracker thing Is the shape of a penny is a is look the shape of a penny and then it's about the janitor like because of the penny in the door thing in the pilot i don't understand like was that supposed to be like they could have made that as long as it was digestible they could have made that thing anything and yet they chose uh to make it look like a penny yeah i mean i don't know i i wonder what the thinking behind that was but

i don't know maybe it's easy to swallow yeah what an idiot dude like that's the dumbest thing first of all it doesn't look that much like a penny no it's a little thicker five dollars too for five dollars and it's magnetic yeah yeah five dollars for five dollars neil is fucking hilarious in this episode yes yes he is Wait Joelle just sent us a link Let's see what this is Joelle Oh it's a hide and seek monkey Toy They have a whole bunch of different ones

Like there's a monkey There's one that looks like a kind of nondescript Monster There's a pig one and basically I guess For lonely kids who have no friends you can hide This stuff I don't think that's the ad I don't think that's the ad campaign for the lonely child pig one and basically I guess for lonely kids who have no friends you can hide this stuff. For lonely kids? I don't think that's the ad campaign

for the lonely child. Got no friends loser? Well by the way if I had a kid I would buy this in a second. You guys should get this if you have kids. It is a hide and seek thing. You hide the stuffed animal. Don't feel like playing with your kids?

Yes. Yes, let's say you want your kid to go distract themselves. You're going to hide the stuffed animal, and they go find it. You need to get shit done around the house, but your kids keep fucking it up for you. Yeah. Well, Donald, you're lucky because you have two kids but they can they can play with each other when they're bored no no they don't happen that doesn't happen what joelle what they also have okay so apparently in 1989 i'm trying to find a good link there is a ghostbusters themed

hide and go sequel and where they have like the little rays they use to bust the ghosts and your friends take the little like thing and then point and shoot. Hold on. Maybe it's on eBay. That sounds cool. Do you get to play like Ghostbusters? It's like a Ghostbusters themed. But imagine, you know, that would be kind of cool.

If you could put a device in the middle of the room. I would hope Oculus would think about coming out with something like this, and you could play Ghostbusters from your point of view, and you're walking the halls of haunted houses and or subway stations,

whatever it is, and you roll around with Egon, Venkman... Oh, here it is. It's 1989. This is kind of exactly what the janitor has. Except it's not penny-sized. This looks like 1989.

Alright, let's refocus. That's crazy. So we're playing hide-and-seek. And we learn that Elliot has a device to remember bones in the hand. And it's an anagram, right? Is that what you call those things? Some lovers try positions they can't handle. No.

Is that what it's called? You guys, when it's like the first letter of anagram. So some lovers try positions they can't handle. And then Keith takes it very personally. And she says, you should stretch before we do the whirlybird. What is the whirlybird? I don't know. What do you think the whirlybird is?

I don't know. Well, it involves Keith needing to stretch. Yeah, so you have to be flexible. I would have thought that the man lies on his back, and the woman is on top, and he spins her. That makes sense. But I don't know why that would involve him stretching. He's in a full back arch, and then it's like a helicopter. Oh, yeah, he helicopters her. She's like the propeller.

I see. Because you have to imagine. That would be the, how much lube do you think you need to be able to freaking lean back? A bucket. Yeah, and then have somebody be like. Lean back. And then you would actually need somebody to grab one leg and the other leg

and then just spin as hard as they probably could. You probably need a helper. Yeah, for you to do that. I imagine it's a good 10 seconds of... I don't know if it would feel good, especially for the man. Are you kidding me? A whirlybird? So you're saying if you did if you what do you call

this yoga position where you like it's you put you put your groin up and your legs and feet are on the ground you know that yeah tabletop or some shit whatever it is all right you make like a tabletop yes and then the table yes yes And now your woman or your partner who – Climbs on top of the table. The partner who can receive. Yes. Climbs on top of the table. Yes.

And then you need a third person to then spin them like a helicopter propeller. Whomever is receiving must be flexible as fuck because you don't want the legs to touch the table. That person's got both people have to be very strong. This is like some Cirque du Soleil sex. But I imagine really fun. Yeah. Well, Elliot's gotten quite adventurous with Keith. I mean, she, you know, in earlier seasons, Elliot was a bit prude about sex.

Now she's announcing to the whole ICU that she likes the whirlybird. Mm-hmm. And I appreciate that. I wish more women would. Do you think Casey would be open to trying the whirlybird? Hold on. Let's find out.

Yeah, hit the theme song. Hit the theme song, Dano. Casey, come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these fools. So tell me what to do. I don't know nothing about raising these kids. And that's what it is. Are you playing my theme song?

Yeah, your theme song was just played. Now, listen, Donald's going to explain to you a sexual position. Oh, God God I'm tired No, listen, Donald Can Donald hear? Tell him to come close so he can hear Listen, babe Donald's going to explain to you

a position that is that Elliot, Sarah Chalk's character does in the show, and we want to know if you would be open to it at some point in your guy's sexual relationship. Oh, God. You ready? Yeah.

So, I do like... I can already say no. No. And you get in a split. Right? And you get on top of and then I and then a helper we're going to need a lot of room somebody spins you

and you try to hold the split and I try to hold the tabletop but you're still on you know what I mean you know what I mean Zach I love you zach i love you zach i love you kasey we just want to know if you'd be open to that

donald said maybe after some drinks well we we would need about three or four helpers and it's gonna take a lot more than, than I'll help. I'm willing to help. I'll help, but I won't look.

I'll wear like, I'll wear a mask. Are you trying to get that dabble into some marijuana? I'm saying that marijuana, you can't even hear the conversation. All right. Put it back on case. We love you.

We love you. Oh my God. I love you guys. That sounds like a no guys. That sounds like a no. back on Casey we love you we love you oh my god I love you guys that sounds like a no guys that sounds like a no Zach I love you Zach I love you guys oh Zach the other thing is guys like I'm not down to try this shit in my mid-40s I'm tired I'm, and I'm damaged goods at this point.

You're not damaged goods. You never look so beautiful. You've never been in better shape. What are you down to try? All right, Donald, come on. We've done it all. Never. No. No. We have not done it all.

We haven't even scratched the surface. Surface. We haven't even scratched the surface. Surface. We haven't even scratched the surface. Donald. We haven't even scratched the surface. She's so fine. I know. She's so fine.

I love that you didn't even get into the tabletop position before she was like, no. Yeah. All right, we should take a break. When we come back, we'll talk about more sexual positions that Donald and Casey might try. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.

But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting, that's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox.

And take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums, but I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's

hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews.

Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.

This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. And we're back! We're back! We're back!

Johnny C. McGinley is doing a Donahue impression. A lot of you young folks probably have no idea who Phil Donahue is. I was on Donahue once. You were? Yeah, way back in the day with Marlo Thomas. I did a special when I was in junior high school called Free to Be a Family, and it was a follow-up to Free to Be You and Me. Yes. And I got to meet the Fat Boys, to Be a Family, and it was a follow-up to Free to Be You and Me. Yes.

And I got to meet the Fat Boys, Prince Marky D, rest in peace, and the rest of the guys. You know what I mean? I got to meet Don Mattingly when he was playing with the Yankees. Yeah. Robin Williams. All these people showed up for Marlo Thomas and this show. And it was really interesting because what we got to do was build a space bridge, which

is pretty much doing FaceTime, but back in the 80s with kids from Russia. And this was back when the Star Wars systems were... We were at threat of nuclear war. I got to meet... I sang with Carly. I remember I sang with Carly Simon. I got to meet Bobby McFerrin, who I'm a huge fan of.

Um, uh, it was anyway. So you guys were on Donahue. And so anyway, because of doing the show, Marlo Thomas and Donahue are a married couple or are a couple. And,

uh, he had us on the show. Well, Donahue for you young folks, you can YouTube him. He was a very popular daytime talk show. When Oprah first started, I believe. It was the two of them.

Yeah, they were. When Oprah was starting, he was. Was he like right before her or something like that? Yeah, he was before her, I think, because he was older, I believe. No, I mean when they came on. No, no. They didn't come on at the same time. They were different channels.

Oh, they were? Yeah. Did they come on at the same time they didn't come on channels oh they were yeah did they come on at the same time i don't know but when everyone started to go like towards the maury povich you know crazy not what was his name morton downey jr yeah when everyone started to go way more like the you know like the like the talk shows became everyone you know obviously oprah didn't go that way, but Donnie, he was like, I'm out. Yeah. He was like,

I'm not doing this shit. Right. But anyway, he used to be very dramatic and he was very funny and he'd go and he'd walk around with his microphone and he'd go, do you remember? He'd go and call her. There'd be a caller and he'd go,

call it. You say what? And he'd point his microphone dramatically up at the skies. He was, he was miking the speaker. Okay. And we have a caller. Caller, you say what? Or when you get in front of somebody.

Phil Hartman did a great Donahue. Yeah, just YouTube the Phil Hartman Donahue impression. But anyway, he was a character. Anyway, so that's what Johnny C is doing. He's doing a Donahue impression here, going around the room asking everyone. And Gloria, the elderly intern. Gets a line and delivers, too. Yeah, she was good.

She says, sometimes when they arrive in the morning, they smell like sex. Have you ever smelled sex in the air before? It's hard to smell your own sex in the air. I don't even know what sex smells like before it's hard to smell your own i don't really know what sex smells it's hard it's hard to smell your own exactly it's hard to smell your own sex in the air but have you ever walked in the room and smelled somebody's sex in the air i've heard people say this like it smells like sex in here but i don't think i've ever smelled that i've smelt it several times growing up with brothers and freaking having my cousins. Doesn't it just smell like sweat and body odor, like people were grinding around? Yeah, but I mean, it smells like

some type of activity had happened in that room. Had happened. Johnny C. asked Sarah for some help with a German patient, and to sabotage him, she says the wrong,

the wrong German. Yeah. How did she, how did she know that the can, that boobs was going to be involved? Did he say that in the lead up to it? That's very good. Uh,

that's very, very, uh, astute of you, Donald. I don't think that he revealed that his, that the man's wife was in the room. Interesting. He, she guessed, she guessed that there might be a woman there took it right she she took a guess um anyway the man was very angry

at this and he throws johnny c out of the room now i gotta say i had to rewind and look at this a few times because that stunt double is such a good double for johnny c i was like there's no way johnny c took that fall. We should ask Johnny C if he took that fall. No, it's not him. I went frame by frame. Okay. I framed by framed it. I framed by framed it. But when a stuntman is that good, when a stuntman is that good

of a match, you can show a piece of their face. You know? It's blurred by a little bit. Right. But like he wasn't hiding his face like a stuntman or a woman usually has to do. He literally, you see like half of his face. I wish they would have done that back in the day, though,

because in Beverly Hills Cop, it is obviously not Eddie Murphy throwing that dude over the buffet at the hotel. It is not. At the Harrow Club? Yeah. Is this the man? Is this the man who? No, he goes, is this the man who wrecked?

He takes a long pause. He goes, is this the man who wrecked the buffet at the Harrow Club this morning? wrecked the buffet at the Herald Club this morning. Is this a man who ruined an unmarked police car, disabled an unmarked police car with a banana?

With a banana? That guy's amazing, that actor. I love that guy. Alright, so okay, pregnancy time. oh my god first of all wait before i get to pregnancy how fucking funny was me on the scooter going i'm seeking you turk that was crazy you know what's crazy about that also turk looks away and has it's a fantasy it wasn't real you had a fit well it was real you had a premonition? I guess.

What do you call that? I don't know. It was happening in the world of the show. Right. It's not a flashback because you didn't experience it. Right. What is that called? What do you call that, Joel?

He had a premonition. Let's call it a premonition. I think premonition is the right word. I'm a man of many wishes. Hope my premonition misses what I really feel. My eyes won't let me hide. Because they always start to cry. Okay, anyway. Who is that?

Stevie Wonder. Oh, that's beautiful. Cause this time could hurt me. The show's not that long. Alright, listen. Cheaper pregnancy tests have slower results, I guess. No, she said he bought a generic one.

There's no such thing as a cheap pregnancy test. They got a pregnancy test that was not the quote unquote generic one. Well, no, the name brand. But that would imply that it was cheaper. Yeah, he makes some comment about like, well, you give me more money for my allowance. I'll get the name brand but that would imply that it was cheaper yeah he makes some comment about like when you give me more money for my allowance i'll get the name brand right but i don't think it makes any difference well no but in the plot point of the show it did i'm just saying it's funny that i think she just was using it as a so things happen with me and my kid sometimes and he is very disappointed when he doesn't get his way or if like a perfect example was when we were

watching the hawks play and they lost and he got mad at my wife and i he said it was our fault because they did we didn't root hard enough for the hawks to win right yeah and this is the same look at yourself and say i totally was like you know what maybe i didn't look maybe i didn't maybe i didn't root hard i should have rooted but anyway um and it's the same thing i think she's i don't think i don't think she thinks it's the test's fault at all i think she's looking at something some she's looking at turk to blame for it though she's looking to try to find a way to blame Turk for this moment. In the show, they assume it's a minute long. You're cooking the pizza rolls.

But that doesn't necessarily. Oh, you're saying you're saying that it makes it take longer. Yeah, I'm saying a plot point of the show that's probably not accurate. I imagine in real life is that this cheaper offbrand thing takes three minutes, not one minute. That's how the whole plot of the episode works. Well, I think every pregnancy test is different time. It's time different. I don't know.

I was just talking about the story of the show. Yeah, but then they put it in the microwave. Am I tripping? Did they put the test in the microwave? What was in the microwave? Oh, the pizza bites were in the microwave. I thought you were off jazz cabbage. What is happening?

I thought you took a jazz cabbage. I was a little confused, man. It's hard to write this shit and do it at the same. Look up and write. And so I'm listening to it while I'm writing down. I pause. You don't pause? No, man.

Oh, I pause. I don't have time to pause. You don't have time to pause? No, bro. No, bro. How funny was the janitor smoking in the flashback? That was hilarious. And doing the hurdles. And then Neil doing

the hurdles. Yeah, the callback later. It looked kind of good. It didn't look bad. By the way, I do have to say, I always know it's Spiller. And I want to say, Janae Bakken wrote this episode. She's a talented gal. But I always know it's Spiller. And I want to say, Janae Bakken wrote this episode. She's a talented gal. But I always know it's... But whenever I, as a director, am watching this show and go,

this one's really directed well, it's Spiller. Gotta say it. Sorry, guys. He's good. Yeah. The cinematography in this episode was really good. And yeah, the way they shot Neil fake hurdling was perfect. Yeah.

There was some really clever photography with regards to that. And yeah, so the JD then calls the janitor out on all of his lies. Goes on a long, gives us a short list of some of the janitor's lies. But it looks like the whole hospital, nobody believes the janitor. Everybody's over his lies. Yeah. And then you come in and I say, not now. I'm glow basking.

I go, no, I'm going to bask in the glow of being right or whatever. And then you come in. I go, not now. I'm glow basking. I laugh so hard at this. Where do the doves go? I don't know. But one thing. I hard at this. Where did the doves go? I don't know. But one thing.

I remember shooting this. Do you remember shooting this? No, but I must have been dying laughing. Did I remember this? You know when we were laughing? Do you know what part we're laughing at? No, tell me. One thing Carla knows, that in her stomach, there's a tiny little.

And you went through like a bunch of... I remember you going through a bunch of different... And one thing I know is that in her uterus is a little soft baby turd. Yeah, you went through several different things. It was a little tiny gherkin. Like you said so

many different things, dude. Dude, so many things. I remember this day and I remember laughing. That's the perfect setup to riff on. Yeah. Where do the doves go? I don't know. I know one thing I do know. Yeah.

How about the grandfather kennel fantasy? That should have me rolling. There's two fantasies that are one, very long. And out of nowhere, this dude comes in to tell everyone about his being a hurdle racer, one. And then where did the kennel come from? It was a grandfather kennel.

And I know you were imagining it. And you're being given a tour. But how did it happen? The setup was something like, what was the setup, Joelle? It was something like a grandmother. Carla and the grandmother. Someone's grandfather was going to die or something. Carla's like, it's not like a dog.

You can't just replace him. Turk didn't want to do a hip surgery on like a 98-year-old man. That's what it was. That's what it was. This was very funnily done. I love how the set is like that old grandparent, like wallboarding, you know, the wood boards. And then like they've all got their like Barka lounger, recliner chair. And some bite.

Yeah. And then I lure mine over with a Werther's candy. And I'm like, here, go unwrap this. You want to unwrap this in a movie theater we don't want to separate these two I already have a grandma I already have a grandmother I'm telling you this show pairs well with

Jazz Cabbage it really does did you have Jazz Cabbage when you watched absolutely when watching this show pairs well with jazz cabbage. It really does. Did you have jazz cabbage? Oh, absolutely. When watching this show. I thought you were off jazz cabbage. I didn't know. No, we had this conversation, bro. Okay.

Just do it at length. I'm not off the jazz cabbage. I'm just doing it. Don't yell at me. I don't do it when I'm doing the podcast. By the way, I love Werther's candies. I know that's like a jokey old person treat. You like butterscotch? I love a Werther's. They I know that's like a jokey, like, old person treat. You like butterscotch?

I love a Werther's. They slap. I never see them. I've never had a Werther's. They're very tasty. You've never had a Werther's? Joel, do you not know any seniors? Joel, you know how some hard candies make your saliva kind of thick and everything?

It's like literally like you're swallowing. It feels like you're swallowing butterscotch. I'm going to drive you there later. I'm coming over. 20 minutes. By the way, this is like the best ad for Werther's right now. But Werther's are great. I don't know why they got stereotypically known for being an old person favorite,

but they are. It sounds old. Do you like salt and butterscotch over ice cream who doesn't like vanilla ice cream it's so delicious joelle please get worthers as a sponsor you should hit that button right now which one the bong ripper joelle please try and get worth i the Werther's head office is run by senior citizens, so they might not know. They don't know how to use a computer. No, they might not know that podcasts are a thing.

They still have rotary dial telephones. Yeah, no, they have this kind. They have the kind you hold up to your phone like, Connecticut 241. Operator? Operator? You have to answer. Yes. Operator, give me Connecticut 247. Operator? You have to answer. Operator, give me Connecticut 247.

Where it is. Would you like to advertise on a podcast? Coming to you live. All right. So then I say I low jacked the janitor. Yes. We have successfully low jacked the janitor. Elliot can't not cry at the thought of a baby.

Right. So she lies and says to keep dumped her. Dumped her. Yes. And this makes for. Sorry, Cox. Seeing this and knowing what's happened and wants to get back at Elliot for what she did earlier with the German guy, convinces Keith to wink at every girl that walks by

and then shows Carla, who's kind of sad for Elliot, what Keith is doing. And they hatch a plan to have yeah they had to plan to have carla tell keith subtly uh all of the is it sub sub how would you say it is it subtly is that the right way to say it yeah wait she's not being she yeah when i said subtly yeah i guess so when subtly uh all of his faults in the bedroom right what are his faults i forgot what they end up being other than he doesn't stretch for the whirlybird they don't tell us anything else that was like a weird little side plot that didn't really go anywhere yeah Yeah. Oh, I know what it is.

We learned that Keith made out with his sister. Yeah, his sister. Oh, right. That's right. How could I forget that? All his sexual secrets. That's really weird. I mean. But then Elliot doesn't really have a problem with it because his sister.

No, because she says Denise is hot. Yeah, she's banging. She's banging. That's so twisted. Yeah. So twisted. It's a bit. Like, what? So I'm doing a writer's banging. That's so twisted. So twisted. It's a bit. Like, what, what, so, I'm doing a writer's room right now. I mean, the sixth grade is pretty old to be making out with your sister.

Yeah, you know better. You definitely know better. You know better. I'm doing a writer's room right now. And I realize what it takes to have to get to that moment. And then, for those things to have to get through bill has to sign off on yeah all right fuck it yeah the brother and sisters they're making out yeah you know what i mean but to get there you have to be that's like one of those late night

all right so how about this what if the secret like they're like they tried to go through several secrets they couldn't really think of anything. And then finally was like, yo, what if he makes out with his sister in, like, the sixth grade? Yeah. And Bill's like, yeah, fuck it. Go with it. Yeah, fuck it. I want to go home.

That's fine. Yeah. What about abort the babies? That was a long way around the block for yelling abort the babies. Yeah. And then to say to the father, sorry. Yeah. And the priest says, I'm pro-choice.

I'm pro-choice. We were really trying to be edgy. This was edgy at any time, but definitely even edgier back when we were doing it. Yeah. I say there's no fetus. Nobody makes fetus balloons. nobody makes fetus balloons.

JD actually went to a balloon, probably several balloon stores, but this is before the internet. Where do you keep the fetus balloons at? This was before the internet was what the internet was, so he couldn't Google search fetus balloons. Joel, will you see if there's any fetus balloons now? I'm interested.

Do you remember the Thomas Guide? We spoke about this. That's how you got around LA. You had to look shit up in a book. This shit was a mess. I laugh so hard, Donald, when I go, when you do that whole thing. Really? Do you have good ideas? I'm tired of your ideas. And I go, it's a good'un. Go ahead. I'm listening of your ideas. And I go, it's a good'un. Go ahead.

I'm listening. I think I was that's after Richard Kind, so I do believe we were all trying. I know. There's something about I never heard it anywhere else, but in this show, I go, JD goes, it's a good'un, like spelled G-O-O-D apostrophe N. Yeah, good'un.

Like when I said... It's a biggin'. It's a biggin'. There's nothing I love more than driving my scooter, Sasha, through potholes. And here comes a biggin'. I just realized what that suit of armor is behind you. Oh, yeah, it's from Wish I Was Here. I thought it was a suit of armor.

I'm like, what the fuck kind of helmet is that? It is a suit of armor, but it's the futuristic suit of armor from's from Wish I Was Here. I thought it was a suit of armor. I'm like, what the fuck kind of helmet is that? It is a suit of armor, but it's the futuristic suit of armor from the film Wish I Was Here that you should now rent tonight because it's on Netflix, everybody. You don't need to rent it. It's free. It's on Netflix. Absolutely.

I hear the wave is playing on stars also. I just looked down in the chat, and it says, no fetus balloons. Not a thing. No fetus balloons. Yeah, that armor, Donald, after the film Wish I Was Here, I put on a mannequin so it could stand in my apartment. Yeah, you know, you're very lucky because as a professional actor,

I have very few things from movies that I was a part of. At one point, I did have the jersey from Remember the Titans, Petey Jones' number. I don't know where it was. I used to wear it, too, because it fit, and then I started getting bigger. This was back when I was 175 pounds. And then I had a bunch of Scrubs memorabilia also. But now I don't really have much.

I don't have much either. Like I found some old-school Kobe Bryant socks that I still have, which I, you know, which I Kobe wore. No, that I wore because I was a fan of Kobe. You know what I mean? That's not memorabilia. Why is that memorabilia? Because you can't find those socks anywhere now. Oh.

I thought the story was going to be a bit better than that. I mean, shit, man. What the fuck do you want me to say? To me, it means something. Kobe Bryant gave me these socks. that. Shit, man. What the fuck do you want me to say? I thought you were going to be like, Kobe Bryant gave me these socks. No, I... I'm not going to say what I thought. Or do not.

There is no try. Let's move on. When we give the speech in the cafeteria and we try to make a dramatic exit, and then I'm like, you go left. No, that was right. I need to come with you. That made me laugh.

I did. What was it? Throwing wind in JD's face. What was that? The wine. Oh, wine. There. Yeah, there it is. Yes.

Don't laugh at me, Joel. When you threw win in my face? Yeah, when I threw win in your face. That shit made me laugh also. I laughed at that. And then when he spills the wine. Yeah, because we can't tell Carlo. By the way, aren't you supposed to wait

to tell people you're pregnant? Like three months or something? Yeah, usually you can't tell Carlo. By the way, aren't you supposed to wait to tell people you're pregnant? Like three months or something? Yeah, usually you want to wait until it's for sure, for sure. And that's usually around the three-month area. A lot of people, I imagine, have miscarriages in the first trimester, right? In the first, yeah. You guys are announcing it like after the test came up. No.

Well, yeah. Yeah. How long do you and Casey wait to tell people? We told everybody right know, we're speaking. How long do you and Casey wait to tell people? We told everybody right away. We're speaking of. Really? Yeah.

We told right as soon as we found out. And people were like, you know, you're not supposed to do that. Okay. Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these fine words. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where the Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.

I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new, and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions. We'll talk through it all together.

Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from

NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums. But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather

magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light since launching in 2022 koala moon has helped with over 20 million night sleep and received over 6 000 five-star reviews win back your evenings listen to koala moon now on the iheartartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.

I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. And we're back! We are back!

All right, Joelle, did you bring a caller to us? I brought you guys a penis doctor. Wow. What? I have questions. This is so great. I have questions. I have questions.

You can ask them about the whole porn ad you saw. It's a spongy thing. Hey, you know what? Let's hear right now if that's accurate or not. We got a collar. Who gave us a holler? We can talk, start Star Wars Or sing show tunes You know, like a balla

Smoke some jazz cabbage Maybe talk about the episode So come on, Joelle Let's get the show on Ladies and gentlemen Give it up for Penis Doctor Darren! Darren!

Dr. Darren! Hello. There he is. There he is. Hi, Darren. Darren, what's up? You got well. He's a penis doctor.

He's a penis doctor, but he has the Jets gear on. I don't know about all that. Wait, no, wait. Before you get into sports dissing, becauseren is wearing a jet but darren um don't take it off leave it on darren are you a a penis doctor and what is that called a urologist yes i'm a urologist that is um what people call penis doctor but we also take care of other urologic organs like kidney bladder prostate um any areas adjacent to that but then the genitals are what we're uh you know most and do you deal a gynecologist obviously handles women so you deal mostly with men i take it no but women have

kidney stones kidney cancer any issues with the bladder any issues with voiding like urination issues so i would say there's actually a decent amount of women that we take care of as well darren doc i got a real question i'm gonna i'm gonna ask first donald let's just say zach has a small penis let's just say that let's just yeah let's just go there we're not gonna say it's true but let's just imagine that i'm'm proud of my size, doctor. What's the average size? I'm going to get my ruler. Here's the question. I'm so sorry. Is there a pill that extends for real

for real? Donald has been watching some advertisements that say if he takes certain... Okay, go ahead. Cut right to the chase, doc. Tell us. There are no pills that can make your penis bigger. What about thicker? What about fatter? You've been wasting so much chase, Doc. Tell us. There are no pills that can make your penis bigger. What about thicker? What about fatter?

You've been wasting so much money, Donald. What about fatter? There are meds that can help you if you have issues with erections. Of course. When you have a half-chub kind of thing and it's not fully erect. Is that the actual doctor diagnosis, half-chub? That's probably not what I will say to a patient. I diagnose you with a half chub.

A couple episodes ago, you were talking about how bigger penises may be more fertile, and that's not true. Yeah, Donald's a man. I never said that. I never said that. Donald is not. I just think you can get closer to the freaking. I just think you can get closer to the freaking... Donald, I asked it because Donald implied that if his giant cock was closer to where the egg is fertilized, it would help. But that's not true, doctor, is it?

Correct. That is not true. There's muscles around the urethra. Okay. Well, I just thought they'd get their cast. This came up before you came on the air. We have so many questions. What is a penis made of? Donald said it's a muscle, which I know to be not true. okay well i just thought all right doctor what this came up before you came on the air we have so many questions what is a penis made of donald said it's a muscle which i know to be not true

daniel said it's a spongy tissue that blood flows to what is a penis doctor and do penis pumps really work and by the way that was no calm down oh my god give him one question okay there are there are like compartments within the penis the urethra which has the penis as um you know uh like cells essentially that are that allow the urine to drain and so there is it's kind of and what what daniel was saying that the erectile bodies you have um there is muscle there is um vessels, there is kind of fibrous tissue that allows the penis to be firm. So it's made up of all of those things. Okay, now when a man is aroused, blood rushes to the penis.

And then what keeps the blood in the penis? I don't understand. Oh my God, Zach. I can, we have lectures on this okay but can you say it in a day listen you're speaking to people that know nothing so in very layman's terms there's a thing on reddit called explain it like i'm five explain it like i'm 10 okay yeah so there are two there's two areas two compartments in the penis that fill with blood and the way that they fill with blood um relax the muscle relaxes and it actually then

compresses the, um, veins and prevents the blood from flowing out. So the arterial flow flows in like the blood flow flows in, but then there's, there's unable to be flow out. And that is how you have a rigid penis or anything or any other kind of a rigid penis. Doc, is it true? Or anything or any other kind of sexuality. Doc, is it true that with masturbation I can train my penis to grow longer? No, I don't think of it.

Damn! There are surgeries that are like wasted time. Donald, don't interrupt him. Go ahead, Darren. What are you saying? There are cosmetic surgeries that some urologists do that

can increase the length of your penis, but they're... I hear that in porn that people put freaking prosthetics in to... To make a penis bigger? Yeah, those things are crazy. Darren, you don't do that work.

Now, listen, there are some people that do... I mean, they're born with a micropenis, which is horrible, I would imagine. And so there must be something that... There must be some surgery that those men can have. Yeah, I mean, there are some surgeries you can do. Daniel, did it hurt? What was the surgery like, Daniel?

Did you? No, but there are people who are born with other congenital anomalies that there are ways to fix it. But there's also, I mean, what about with female and male transgender patients or transgender people who want to get phalloplasty? Of course, of course. There are ways you can make a penis. Got it. I have another question. Wait, Donald, it's my turn. Go ahead.

We've got to ask about the half, the half, the half, the half, what was it that, where it was like the half chub? No, not the half chub. Where you make a vagina and keep the balls? And keep the balls, yes. We're not asking about that. He's a real

doctor. Shut the fuck up. darren darren is it true by the way it's our dream to talk to a real penis doctor darren is it true that there is no semen in pre-cum i've heard this um i think pre-cum from what i understand is really just like the lubricant but if there are still i think you know like i'm just making me think of uh like an happy and not a master of none from what I understand is really just like the lubricant, but if there are still, I think, you know, like I'm just making me think of a, like an happy and,

and not a master of none. There was a scene like this. Um, and if there's still sperm in your urethra from a prior ejaculation, right. But let's say there's not Darren, right. Darren,

I'm not saying people should use this as birth control, but I was amazed to find out. And this is very dangerous. Don't, don't, please wear protection. Wear protection, please. Right, Darren? Yeah, definitely wear protection. The withdrawal method is, you know.

No, of course. But I'm saying, I didn't know until a few years ago that Precum is really the lubricant for the urethra and there's technically no semen in that material okay so here's a a real deal holy field question if you so was mine that was a good question yeah no doubt if you and your partner both get both get uh uh tested and neither one of you have STDs that can be passed and you decide to have sex without a condom. Okay. Right. So my wife and I, and this is what I want to understand. Why was it like this?

My wife and I, it took us a bit of time for her to get pregnant. You know what I mean? And we were trying to get pregnant. And then you hear stories of other people and it happens right away. If it's as simple, why is it that it should be as simple as if you're both fertile and you do the deed. At the right time of the month, obviously. At the right time of the month obviously at the right time of the month obviously how come sometimes like what what what are the odds that we're going up against that it doesn't work all the time i know you're not a i know you're not a i know you you don't deliver

babies and everything like that but this is but he knows yeah but i'm yeah no but i'm actually uh next year i'm going to do a fellowship to fail infertility which is honestly half half the part of that um so that's like an unbelievable question because but think about like the process from the sperm being made in your testicles getting to out of the penis and then at the same time the female partner with the an egg has to kind of ovulate out of the ovary and through the fallopian tube into the uterus. And then you have to have, you know, sexual intercourse or what have you to get the sperm there. The moral is there are so many steps where that, where it can just not work. Um, or maybe that, you know, whatever sperm gets

to the egg, because, you know, usually women only ovulate one egg um isn't isn't able to really you know strong enough or has the genetic material enough and similarly maybe the egg was not ready either so it's and i think there's also a lot that they don't know about by they i mean us doctors and researchers who deal with uh infertility and and you know and there's a drone flying around on mars doctor why can't you tell us it's crazy there's no it's crazy like why and you know that's why we you know we usually advise a patient and a couple not to see not to seek a fertility specialist unless they know they have an issue for for you know six to twelve months because there's just so much that can kind of go awry or randomness to it um that we usually want a couple to have tried for a significant period of time without birth control with the proper timing methods

um it's just it's hard to do studies with those kind of things also clinically on humans like right say like all right you They like, all right, you, you, you know, you're a certain amount of couples are going to have sex on this and this day, and you are going to do it in this day.

And we want them and testing everything. Like it's hard to do it. Yeah. Nobody, nobody probably follows. It's really weird, man. Cause like the first time it took a really long time for us to get

pregnant. And I was, you know, I was really excited about that. You know what I mean? Even though she was like, I'm not pregnant in my mind. I was like, yeah, we get to fuck some more, you know what I mean? You know, I was really excited about that. You know what I mean? Even though she was like, I'm not pregnant in my mind. I was like, yeah, we get to fuck some more, you know what I mean?

And then, and then we have the baby and everything. And she says, I want to have another one. And in my mind, I'm like, oh, here we go. Another year of fucking. And it happened like right away, dude, like right away. And I'm just wondering, like, what is, what is the science behind it? Because, you know, you can it? Because, you know, you can't ever really,

you know, even if you do everything right, even if you're both fertile, even, you know, it's still, it's still, it has to happen at the right time or it doesn't,

or it doesn't work. Yeah. Unfortunately, I don't have like a great answer for you. You know, it's more about, um, in that year,

you know, maybe something didn't mesh up and then you got lucky. And then the second one, like, that's kind of why we, you know, you want to have sex multiple times around ovulation. And then, I mean, I had similar stories with, you know, my conception kind of thing. And even if you do get pregnant, then there's issues, you know, you can have miscarriages and those kind of things. Do some men ejaculate more than other men? And why are there pills that, or things that can make it so that you ejaculate more?

Oh, here's another question. Wait, hold on. If you ejaculate longer and more, does that mean orgasm is better? Oh my God, that's a hard question. No, you're throwing too many questions at him. My question first, Doctor. Doctor Penis. Doctor Penis.

Penis Doctor Darren. Sometimes in certain films, you will see the male ejaculate. And it's like a goose is pooing it's just everywhere and i wondered um why that's happening oh my god here's my real question my real question the non-silly version is

do different men um have a different amount of ejaculate as their norm there's a there's a kind of like a percentile of like having more than two or three milliliters it's kind of the low level of normal so you can have anywhere up to you know a couple milliliters it's still it's still not a lot i think that in these films that you're probably referring to what are you talking about films i was let him talk let him talk don't interrupt him um that it's you know i mean probably if you wait longer there's often you know you want to make that probably get to to uh but it goes quicker when volume builds up you're saying but it's but it's quicker when when you wait longer it's quicker that's the thing it's like you kind of want to throw a couple of exhibitions in there

before you go play. You know what I mean? It's like firing a machine gun in the air. It seems like more than there is. It seems like more than there is. But, you know, if you've never had to give a sperm sample. All right. I haven't had to give a sperm sample.

We had a funny episode of that in scrubs. Do you have any questions for us? Don't worry about his questions yet. Doctor? No, I'm good. Sometimes I have to pee all the time. I was told that can be prostatitis.

I mean, that's like a big jump. There's so many other things. You drink like two liters. You talk about how much water you guys drink all the time. That would very well be it. Right. I'm saying that sometimes I will evacuate my bladder, and then a short time after, I'll be like, I got to pee again.

And it wasn't because I'm drinking like an insane amount of water. I don't have prostatitis probably though, right? Probably not. Prostatitis is more like other painful pelvic symptoms or other like more irritated avoiding symptoms other than just having to pee occasionally on certain days. It could be, I mean, as you get into your forties and fifties, your prostate gets bigger and there can be issues with like obstruction from enlarged prostate. So, I mean, if I were, you know, your urologist,

there are certain evaluations we can do. Will you be my urologist when you live? I live in Cleveland. I'm in the Cleveland Clinic. I'll come. I'm going to come to Cleveland. Donald's going to mention fucking two restaurants he knows. Listen, I have, wait, hold up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, guys. So... This is the best guess. Let's have Dr. Penis on every day. Every day. Oh, dude. I mean, if you guys have other questions, like, you know,

I'm sure you're going to think of more questions. I do, but you guys won't let me ask. Okay, cool. But don't do a dumb one. Do a serious one. Don't be like, if I throw my penis, if I throw my semen at the wall,

will it stick? He doesn't want to hear that shit. Okay, so, look. throw my penis if i throw my semen at the wall will it stick he doesn't want to hear that okay so look check this out when people fall he said probably when i see people fall and stuff like that like yeah in in videos like this they had the crate box challenge and all these people how come when i go oh i kind of feel it in my dick area? Like, what is that about? What is that? That's a great question. It's because you're squeezing your whole, like, abdominal and pelvic musculature, and the pelvic and pelvic musculature are connected to the genitals. That's how you ejaculate, for instance, or hold in your pee, for instance.

But also the testicles, you know, sometimes the opposite. Sometimes you get hit in the balls and then your belly hurts yeah because the testicles when you're in utero being made actually start in your abdomen and they go down through the abdomen into the scrotum so the nerves kind of still travel up that way so that there's like that that connection so here's the thing. I like watching these videos because I like that feeling, dude. That shit's like a... I hate it. I get nauseous. When I see a man

on a video really, really nail his groin, like fall on a skateboard or land on a banister, for example, I hate it. I have to hold my balls and wince. I literally do the same thing, Zach. I like it. It's to hold my balls and wince. I do the same. I literally do the same thing, Zach. I like it. It's like one of those things.

All right, Dr. Brick. And if you live in Cleveland and you need a penis doctor, you're going to go to Dr. Brick at the Cleveland Clinic? Yeah. Okay. Dr. Brick, do you have any questions for us? Yeah. Yes. Not really urology related,

but, um, I'm also, yeah. Um, I'm also, you know, I know we got,

you guys like talk about movies and stuff, but I'm a huge movie lover myself. And some, two of my favorite movies aren't necessarily like best movies of all time, but there are movies that I watched as a kid. And then as I can grow up, you kind of see new things. Cause you've watched them a million times.

Um, and like see new things, like as you're maturing or just new things from watching so many times, are there any movies like that, that you guys have? Like for me, it's Forrest Gump and, um,

dumb and dumber. Just like, I remember watching it as a kid and like, there's just humor that passes you. And then as you get older, you kind of grow into that. You guys have any thoughts? Yeah.

I don't say don't give a non star Wars answer, please. It's not star Wars at all. I have two films that I watch. Uh, you kind of have, well, one of them,

you kind of have to watch every year just because it's the classic around Thanksgiving. Uh, planes, trains, and automobiles. I think to this day has so many jokes in it. I have yet to see them all,

you know, um, from music cues to, you know, uh, to, uh, inside or punch lines that I didn't understand when I was younger.

And as I get older, I start to understand. I think it's, that's one of those movies, planes, trains, and automobiles. And then Rushmore also is one of those movies where it's that's one of those movies planes trains and automobiles and then

rushmore also that is one of those movies where it's like holy shit like you it's just joke after joke after joke after joke and and if you're not paying attention you miss a lot of it and so those two movies rushmore is a great answer i'm so happy you answered something that wasn't Star Wars related. It doesn't run my life, Zach. It's just a part of it. My honest answer is a movie called Annie Hall. We're not supposed to talk about Woody Allen anymore, understandably. But I was raised on that movie.

It was my father's favorite movie, rest in peace. And it was a movie we watched every year. And then the other answer that came to my mind, because Donald referenced the movie that you watch every year, is A Christmas Story. That's a movie that we end up watching every single year. And I think you always find new things from a kid to adulthood in that film, too. That was the first thing that came to my mind.

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Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Do you have another question or anything about our penises you want to know? Just kidding. You're not talking about my penis like that. Do cock rings work? Yeah, they hold the blood in, right? Oh, yeah.

You're asking about vacuum devices. Vacuum devices are actually more used for people with erectile dysfunction because you can kind of you you kind of bring that blood in and then you put a rubber band around it and that can kind of help with that um so like you know like an austin powers like penis bump that's not really a real it's not my bag baby yeah yeah um and cogrings people use them for like sexual pleasure those kind of things though i you know i being in the hospital i've seen the bad ends of oh they get stuck on there yeah something gets stuck or donald you should get an extra large one if you do order one because i'm worried it's going to get stuck on there

exactly i think it gets stuck in the hair not necessarily around no he's he's working what kind of what kind of cock ring are these people putting on? He's giving you an analogy, a wedding ring that gets stuck. I know, I get it, but what kind of cock ring are you putting on? You keep it on for too long. If you keep it on for too long, it gets stuck. Who's walking around with a cock ring? Oh, really?

Is that the maneuver? Hold on. Let me get knowledge me real quick. Am I supposed to wear my cock ring 24-7? No, definitely not. No, don't. This is a public service announcement. Dan will put the more you know.

Do not wear your cock ring around for too long. My other question was if you have any other crazy fan interactions or fan interactions from back in the day that you specifically kind of remember yeah you know in london somebody jumped on my back and yelled eagle

without permission without permission don't do that guys um well you know there are a lot of negative comments on Instagram or something like that or on Twitter when we say things. He's asking about fan interactions. You got so angry that you decided to spend however many minutes or seconds of your day, you know, your precious day to write how much you hate me. And I find that really interesting that people do that. And to do that, you kind of have to be a fan or aware of my existence in some way or listen to the things I say. So when I see that, it's like, wow, dude. That's just bizarre to me that you were willing to take all this time because of something I said on a podcast or a movie I was in.

I'm sure Dr. Burke has had a patient that didn't like something, that was angry with him. I said to the left. That shit's going right now, Doc. It's going right now. I said left. I told you to have it curved to the right. All right.

It's time for Cleveland's favorite segment. It's time to fix your life. So, you know, I'm a urology resident and residency is hard um and hours are long and i have a wife and two kids and um i think the thing that we're all trying to do you know these days is find that work-life balance um and you know i know you guys are busy obviously different professions but everyone has their own kind of thing what do you have any tips for are you guys well i'm i i understand where because i have uh two very young children also and i try to hustle as much as I can so I can, you know, provide for them like you do for your family.

When's the last time you guys went on a vacation, like a real vacation? Like just me and my wife or the four of us? The four of you guys. Yeah. Not for a while. Yeah, I mean, with COVID. COVID's been like crazy. Yeah. not for a while yeah i mean with covid and then it's been like that's crazy yeah i would say the next family outing next big family outing plan it like plan it to a t and enjoy the process of planning it because that's a lot of fun uh we've found here. And it also opens up

your ability to improvise when things don't necessarily go as planned. You're saying that you and your wife and the family find fun in not just the vacation, but the looking forward and the planning. Forward and the planning of the trip yes you know um because you're right you don't have a lot of time but there is that little bit of time where you guys can you know even if it's a fantasy even if it's something

that's not real there's a time where you're all together and you have that moment to you know just be happy enjoy those moments and you know and then and and when you do moments. And when you do have the opportunity to vacation, if it's planned properly, you have so many things that you can do together. There are so many great things that you can do together. I would imagine you're surprising your kids because your kids probably want more of your time and you're so darn busy.

So I would imagine that if there's ways that you can surprise your kids with an adventure, it doesn't need to be a trip somewhere fancy, but it could be like, you know, we're doing something that you had no idea. Ice cream. Yeah.

Even if we want to get ice cream, we're going to the zoo. We're doing something that you had no idea was happening. And you thought dad was working today. Well, he's not. And we're going on this mini adventure. I just imagine

like i remember stuff like that with my dad which i thought was so meaningful like anything that was a surprise it could be it could be as small as like guess where we're going where we're going to get ice cream or it could be guess what we're going you know we're gonna go um we're gonna go to the toy store and you can pick out anything you want under this amount of money you know that kind of thing like just something that's for a kid, a surprise adventure with dad, I remember being really special. Now, as far as you and your wife go,

you guys went ahead and had kids. You guys went ahead and had kids. That stuff's out the window. So that's over. You've made that choice. You took a fork in the road. You took a fork in the road. You had a choice. That's not true. They had a choice that's not true they go to bed

what time do they go to bed they're good sleepers when they go to bed guess what time it is to go to bed for the adults too I put my kids down within a half an hour I'm like and that's when I text Casey that's where I text Casey.

That's where she kills at night. I'll kill you, Zach. No, I didn't mean to imply a sexual joke. I just mean that we'll literally be talking about the same trash TV we're watching. Are you watching Bachelor in Paradise, guys? No, I don't go that dark. Oh, God. It's so good.

It's so good. Hell yeah. Me and Stephanie love Bachelor. Bachelor in Paradise is a jam. Really? I tried like 30 seconds of it. I was like, I feel dirty. Oh, it's so bad, but it's just candy. You and your wife watch it? My wife watches it, and I'm in the room, and I'm not watching it.

This is as far as ABC will go when it comes to porn, dude. It's phenomenal, man. I want to recommend a good show. There's a show I watched on Hulu with Martin Short and Selena Gomez and Steve Martin. The only murder in the building. Very funny.

Martin Short can literally just stand there and I start giggling. He's so fucking funny. He steals the whole show. And then the other one is that new Nicole Kidman show. What's that called? Yeah. I don't know. Nine Perfect Strangers. Casey's watching that. I just started that. That's good.

Yeah. Casey's watching that. That's good. Very good. I recommend Bachelor in Paradise. Oh my God. I recommend. Wait. Hold on. Wait up. I recommend What If. Have you guys been watching What If? Marvel's What If? I haven't. I'm on Loki. Okay. So you're still on Loki. Dude, when you get to What If. Have you guys been watching What If? Marvel's What If? Hell yeah. I'm on Loki. Okay.

So you're still on Loki. Dude, when you get to What If? Woo! Now look, it's cartoon, but they dive deep into this shit. It's so dope. Yeah, so dope. All right, listen. Can I do one more shout out before you go?

Anything you want, Dr. Brook. You were so helpful. I'm sorry about our immature questions, but we really needed to know the answers. No, this is literally what I went into specifically for those immature questions. And by the way, we joke, but there's so much stuff

that men... I'm 46 years old, and I played a doctor for 10 years. There's so much stuff men don't know about their penis. I didn't really know what the material... Oh, I have a question. I have a question. Sorry. Is it true? Is it true? because i saw it in uh in in american pie where is the button in my butthole that makes me come no i i don't think it's not specifically like there are like static massages you can kind of do yeah you got to get a little deep in there to get to do a prosthetic massage. But even the musculature is all kind of very close to each other.

So that's why there are, you don't just like put a finger in your butt and come. You need like the. Donald does. You know, it just made me. By the way, we just saw this thing on one of our last episodes. We found the thing that they use for rams to make them ejaculate. Oh, yeah, the electro-ejaculate. Yeah, it's an electro thing.

Would that work on a human doctor? Yeah, they actually, we can use that on certain men who can't ejaculate because they have a neurogenic issue and want to have kids. And this is safer than a surgical is it painful does it hurt is it painful i've never done it and usually these people wait a second wait a second can you set the volume why are you even in why are you even in the field if you can't play with the toys on yourself don't you feel don't you feel dr burke, that you should try it out to know if it's effective? To know.

Especially if it's ejaculation. I should know if I'm going to. I assure you this doesn't hurt. In fact. All right. Yeah. All right. Oh, my God.

All right, Donald. I'm sorry, Dr. Brick. I apologize. No, no. No apologies. Listen, you've been a wonderful guest. Joelle, can we please have him on to answer more questions?

Absolutely. Oh my god. Are you kidding me? I always have dick questions. Maybe, Joelle, maybe you could find a guest that has a penis problem and we could have Dr. Brick on and live help the person with their penis problem. Okay, I will

aim for that. Interesting. That is a tough job. If you have a penis problem, Okay, I will aim for that. Interesting. That is a tough job. If you have a penis problem... Oh, bye, guys. I happen to have some people in the house. If you have a penis problem, I want you to contact Joelle. Amanda just came out from her glam session,

and all she hears is, if you have a penis problem, Came out from her glam session and all she hears is, if you have a penis problem, contact Joelle at... What is it, Joelle? No, don't contact Joelle. ScrubsEyeHeart.

No, the email. You're going to reach out to ScrubsEyeHeart at gmail.com. Put it in the subject line so I know what you're talking about. Subject line, penis problem for Dr. Brick. And no pictures necessary. Yeah, don't send pictures if it's weird

like that. The pictures will disqualify you. Yes, absolutely. The pictures will disqualify you. Did you hear that? But if you have a legitimate... We're only looking at pictures on the actual show. Right? Maybe. Maybe. Sure. Maybe. Whatever.

But if you have a penis problem and you want live help, we will keep you anonymous, obviously. It will be an interesting thing for us all to learn. Dr. Brick, is there anything that you would tell our listeners about their penises, like, just as we say goodbye? Or just about that area in general. Like, I don't have a foreskin, but I know that if you do, you got to get under there and clean it. Right, doctor? Oh, that was what I was going to say. Yes, if you're uncircumcised, you definitely got to keep it clean.

What's the best way to clean inside your foreskin? Washcloth. What about a wet one? You wash it down and you cleanse it, soap, all that stuff, every time you take a shower. But the one thing that I would say is that if you do have, usually if you have an erection longer than four hours, go to the emergency room. I would say you probably shouldn't have an erection longer than two hours. So if you have an erection longer than two hours, then it's probably already too long. And because you see some people who are embarrassed and you don't get there until 24 hours, but it's really bad.

That's really bad. So if your erection isn't going away after two hours, go to the emergency room. 24 hours. Don't be embarrassed. How about this? If your erection isn't going away after sex, you should probably go to the emergency room.

There are probably youngins who can have a short refractory period. Oh, they call it a refractory period. That's how quickly you can reset, Doc? Yeah. Donald, how long is your refractory period? Let me think. I would say it's about. I don't really want to know.

I don't really want to know. All right. Refractory period. Yeah, that's what it's called. I just wanted to say, it's all right, not, not medical related, but, you's what it's called um i just wanted to say it's all right not not medical related but you know it's interesting i listen to you guys on uh like one and a half speed so it's really nice to hear your voice in in regular because i'm listening to my commute to work um and my my my best friend danny who we watch we watch a show we like we'll randomly text each other uh like comments we always talk about that, but he, um,

I love you guys and watched you guys since I was a kid and watch with my dad who's also a doctor. And he and I always say that, you know, scrubs is, um, like definitely, you know, the most realistic quote unquote realistic, uh, doctor show. Um, and really this podcast came at like the perfect time and you guys couldn't have timed it any better i know it sucks that you couldn't be together but i remember hearing about it and then covid happened and it just was literally this podcast listening to it was the thing that like put a smile on my face like every time i listen to it so thank you i appreciate you

guys that means a lot to us coming from a real doctor and um and thank you for taking the time and for uh enduring our silly questions. Amanda, do you want to come say hi briefly to everyone? Amanda, we're going to end our show, but Amanda can quickly say hi. She has her glam makeup on for our special evening. Dr. Brick, is there anyone you want to say hi to or anyone you want to shout out? Hi, everybody. My wife, Amanda, actually.

Don't mess up my hair. Sorry. Hold it this way like they do in the We Are the World video. Go ahead. Guys, I love all the penis talk. Yeah, this is Dr. Brick. He's a real urologist, penis specialist. Hi.

Why are we talking about penis talk? His wife's name, because he's a penis doctor. His wife's name is Amanda, too. Sometimes penis talk comes up on the show, and Joelle was nice enough to bring on someone who could answer the questions about penises. Because Joelle's the best. And, you know, I disagree with Florence's mom

about enough talking about the willies. Oh, really? Hold on. I got to hit the button. I love talking about the willies. Do or do not. That's right. Do or do not talk about them willies. Hold on. Here got to hit the button. I love talking about the willies. Do or do not. That's right. Do or do not talk about them willies.

Hold on. Here she is. For fuck's sake, just stop talking about your willies. No, Dr. Brick said we're allowed. See, we talked about our willies so much, Amanda, that Florence's mom gave me a note on the show. She said, just please stop talking about your willies. And then you recorded it? We laid it down on track.

That's the audio speed. How many takes? She was a very good actor. She did like four solid takes. I gave her some notes. Donald, you look cute. Doesn't he look good with the beard? Yeah, the beard is cute on you. You look happy.

You're not in a closet. Thank you very much. You look happy. You're not in a closet. Thank you very much, Amanda. Yeah, you look good. I'll take it. You're like the fourth person to say that to me today. Dr. Brick's the only one who didn't say that. I love your hair. I'm also kind of losing my hair. Dr. Brick, shut the fuck up with that

losing my hair shit. This is not losing. Okay, we gotta go. We're going. Ronald, I love you. Okay, guys, I love you. We got to go. Audience, thank you for listening.

Thank you for tuning in each week. I don't know about you wanting to get off real quick. I understand the circumstances. No, we're going to the show. I get it. I get it. I just want to say this Have fun tonight Enjoy yourselves

Send us strength And send Nick some love As we're going to see Waitress and Broadway reopen tonight Lots of tissues we have to bring Lots of tissues But it's a celebration Yes it is a celebration. It is.

You're right. All right. We love you all. Love you. Five, six, seven, eight. We love you all. Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day.

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