Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 517: My Chopped Liver

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

On this week's episode, JD switches his night off so that he can spend some more time with Turk. In the real world, we're singing old standards and watching Danl muckbang on Twitch. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi friends, I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.

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All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting, that's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes, with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine. with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine. With original kids' bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream. Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.

This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. This is the most beautiful day in Manhattan, Donald. I wish you were here strolling Central Park with me. It's hot as balls in California right now.

Sweaty balls? Yes. Like, sweaty balls. California right now. Sweaty balls? Sweaty balls? Like sweaty balls. You step outside. If you're not sweating, you are dehydrated, and you need to see someone because it is that hot. Your body should be cooling itself off once you step outside your door in the Los Angeles area.

Do you remember that old standard, autumn in New York? Why does it feel so inviting? No, but I do remember, I like New York in June. How about you? I'll hum a Gershwin tune. This was an old standard that Billie Holiday sang and Ellen Louie sang, but I think I sing it better. Autumn in New York. You totally got it.

It spells the thrill of first nighting. Love it. Do you guys agree that I sing it better than Billie Holiday? And be honest, I don't want any ass kissing. No. You're nailing it. Oh, wow. Thank you.

Donald, be real. He's got cold. I'm wondering why. you're nailing it oh wow thank you Donald he's got cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all Daniel Zach Braff stand for vision listen if you've never heard that song

and you're walking around cause that was not better than them shut up I'm telling our listeners if you're ever walking around Manhattan on a beautiful it's not really autumn yet.

It's still 70 degrees out, but it's so pretty today in New York. But when the leaves start to turn and you got your sweater on and you're feeling yourself and maybe you're holding the hand of someone you like or love. I want you to put on Autumn in New York. Joelle, you know that song. It's beautiful. You can choose a lot of famous singers that sang it. But I think I agree with you guys that I am the best. Whoa.

I didn't say that. I was going to say. I did not say that. Joelle, why are you making a cringe face? I don't know. Well, listen, Lady Sings the Blues, the icon, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it's a little bit much for me.

I can't go that far. Your beautiful voice. Gorgeous. Let me try it one more time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're good, we're good, we're good. How come you're allowed to sing whenever you want? What you trying to get into a day or soon?

What you trying to do? Hey, did you used to go to Sheep's Meadow when you trying to do? Hey, did you used to go to Sheep's Meadow when you were in New York? Of course. I used to go there with my high school friends. We'd stand in a circle and do backflips. Sometimes smoke ganja. Yeah, well, it used to be the

place. It's funny, these guys, you know, so Sheep's Meadow, if you don't know, Manhattan is a place in Central Park. It's a beautiful open field. We just used to call it the meadow. I assume they used to graze sheep there back in the day. No, we just called it the meadow. Well, it's called Sheep's Meadow. I assume because they used to graze sheep there back in the day.

You want to laugh now? You want me to laugh now? Yes. We'll add. You know what I need, Daniel, for the pad is a solid, believable Donald laugh. So when he doesn't laugh at me, I can hit the button. And the audience will never know the difference. Anyway, it's a beautiful spot.

People lie out. They throw Frisbees. Everyone's in their bikinis and their Speedos, and it's a sexy spot. And people, you know, it's just a great hangout spot, and it's very pretty. Would the Todd love this area? Oh, my God. There were so many banana hammocks I saw today. Wow.

Gay men and European men, typically, stereotypically, the two types who like a Speedo, were out in full force at the Meadow today. The funny thing about a Speedo is you're just like, hey everybody, this is my cock. And just bigger, small, girthy, thin. You just got to not worry about it you know what i mean like but you're way more confident about a speedo yeah because they're not really it's not necessarily look i don't know because and maybe because of what i see in like the research that I've been doing on the internet. On Speedos?

I'm in Google Imaging Speedos. Yeah, go ahead. But I don't think it's about the banana in the hammock when you're wearing a Speedo. I think Todd is just an exception to the rule. Right. Well, I think Rob is probably uh well endowed but i i just was i'm just surprised when i see men in speedos and they're not like super in shape or they they don't have a huge package they're just like they don't give a fuck they're just what do you prefer me and my belly and my tiny peep well what do you prefer boxers or briefs i think it's

the same way what do you prefer speed i wear me on... Oh, you're asking me really? No, I'm saying that's with the... I wear a thong. I love it. And I would love to see you in a thong on the beach. Are there male thongs? I don't know. Hell yeah, man. Borat didn't make that shit up. Oh, okay. Is that what you wear, Daniel? Yeah, you know.

When I'm feeling freaky. Daniel. Oh my god, Daniel. I would love to wear a speedo to the beach. Can you twitch with that, Dano? No, you can't. No, you can't. You can't show cheeks. You can't show cheeks?

Well, I mean, maybe. No, I think I can show cheeks. What are the limits of twitch? What are the porn limits of twitch? I think it is a swimsuit. Swimsuit is the limit. Oh. So, yeah, I could show cheeks.

Wasn't there something, a controversy about women or men who were twitching from their bathtubs? What was that about? Yes, hot tub meta, the hot tub Twitch meta, and it is still a thing. What is that? Can you explain? I'm sorry to open another show about Twitch,

but what is this? I appreciate it. And for all the fans who really don't like this, I'm so sorry. For you fans who are so sick of Twitch talk, I promise this is the last time. We're trying to get Daniel to, how many did we say? 5,000?

10,000. I appreciate that. You plug my Twitch so much and I really appreciate it. I'm done plugging it. I'm not even plugging it. We gotta get him to 10,000 views. Bro, bro, bro. I'm done plugging Daniel and his pole dancing.

I just want to know I just want to ask Daniel what Bro, I'm done plugging Daniel and his pole dancing. You guys are quitters. You guys are crass. I just want to ask Daniel what the controversy, because everything is so controversial these days. What was the controversy about Twitch and bathtubs? People were streaming from their hot tubs and just doing kind of just chatting streams where they were interacting with their audience

and they just happened to be wearing swimsuits. And why did anyone give a fuck about that? Because they their audience and they just happened to be wearing swimsuits. And why do people, why did anyone give a fuck about that? Because they're haters and they think that the platform is only for one thing or another. It's video games. Oh, were they playing games from the hot tub or just sometimes they were,

sometimes they were just chatting, but either way, it's a baller job. Donald, do you know that there's a job on this planet where you can sit in the hot tub and play video games in your bathing suit and people throw money at you? Yes, they do. They do it a lot.

Where? This is on Twitch? There's a whole subsection for it. Can Donald apply? Absolutely. You ain't even got to apply. You just got to turn the camera on and people will be there. I was going to say, how about this?

Donald. Wait, hold on. Wait. What would you do? Okay. What would you do for reclondike, Bob? I would watch you. I don't give a fuck about Twitch.

I watched five minutes of Danil and digested what it was. All he did was mukbang. But for you, if you were in a hot tub being in a suit playing video games, I would watch. You should get into it. Would you really? Yes, I would.

Would you throw money? Of course I'd tip you. Especially when your bubble rose above the surface i should have like surface like it should be like hourly a surface by the way that's bubble fantasy to get ahead of ourselves but that bubble butt fantasy is the funniest shit i've ever seen in this whole fucking show hilarious you're big you know i'm laughing when i'm screenshotting it and sending it to Bill, and I send it to you guys.

I was like, this show is out of its mind. Yeah. Crazy season. We're back on track, aren't we? Do you notice, yeah, season five is the best. Do you notice that when you walk away, you were trying, you were clenching your butt cheeks? Flat ass, I'm trying to clench my butt cheeks, yeah. So I have no butt.

So I have no butt. Yo, without further ado, we should just get into it. We got Shea Serrano on the show, y'all. Five, six, seven, eight. I said he's got stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our

Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald Alright, welcome to the show everyone. Shay Serrano, let's bring him in. You know, what a guest. Can't believe it, we did it. We did it again. And man, did he pick a good episode. This was a great one.

There he is. Give it up for Shay Serrano! What up, yo? What up, yo? Shay, I know it's going to be a good episode when it's one you've selected to come on for because you are

Scrubs aficionado and I always go into the episode going, if Shay picked this one, it's probably a good one. And I think this is one of the hardest. There's only a 20-minute episode. Some of it, some are shorter than others. 20 minutes, and there's a joke every other sentence. It's so, yeah.

Yes. There's not a lot of heart in this one. This one doesn't have heart. It's a super funny episode. This one just brings laugh after laugh after laugh. I disagree with you with that not having heart. It has quite a bit of heart at the end of the show. How dare you?

Yes, you're right. There is a bit of heart. I'm sorry. It wouldn't be an episode of Scrubs without a little bit of tickle. Hey, back to Shay. How are you, man? What's going on? I am fantastic.

What about y'all? How's life? Isn't it awesome? Life is wonderful. I'm happy to be alive. How about that, man? You're so much hairier than the last time I saw you, Donald. I know, right? Way more. And you've taken quite a bit off.

You're going in opposite directions. Yeah, look at that. We should talk about... Wait, before we get into that, we should talk about... Oh, you got to do a sports moment. You guys have to do a sports check-in. Who has a better record this year, San Antonio Spurs or the New York Knicks? That's the question. Oh, man.

You know what? I hate to say it, but it's going to be the Knicks. I believe so. San Antonio looks not so great right now. Did you guys lose DeRozan too? Yeah, we did. Yeah. It's a fire cell in San Antonio.

We're rebuilding. You lost Patty Mills to Marjorie Rosen. Patty hurt a lot. Patty Mills hurt a lot, dude, especially after what he did in the Olympics. Autumn in New York. Okay, listen, Shea. You speak more eloquently about scrubs than any of us put together. Donald and I have one observation, that this is the funniest season so far.

That sounds right. So if you're talking about the overall best season, it's between this one and season three. I think the just straight up funniest, yeah, it's going to be season five. It's just every other episode is a fucking sledgehammer it's yes every single one i just thought this went to the next level shay i just thought that you know bill jokes when i you know because i text him i'm like bro why is there a full sandcastle that's not a fantasy and other shit like that like and he's like i don't know we got a little bored but in getting a bored, meaning they wanted to shake it up a little bit, I think they kicked everything.

It's like when you saturate a picture. It's like they turned everything up a notch. Yeah, because once you get that far into a series, season five, everybody knows what everybody is going to do. Nobody is auditioning anymore to be a big part of the show. Everybody is going to do. Nobody is auditioning anymore to be a big part of the show. Everybody is just in there. As a viewer, when you're watching it

and it gets to that point, you're like, oh, everybody seems super confident right now. And they're totally fine with doing whatever it is they want to try to do. And it just becomes a really fun viewing experience.

And also, when we're watching it by this point we've we've been with y'all for years like literal years four or five years you've been in our lives we turn it on we like it's like a one-way friendship you know what i'm saying yeah it's just it's just a fun show to to watch when we get around here the reason that i picked this one though when we were going through the list, I mean, there are a couple of different reasons. If you're looking through season five, there's just, as we mentioned, big, big episodes in there. You have Miss Wilkes passes, Carly gets pregnant,

the big two-episode arc where Dr. Cox falls into depression. There are a bunch of big ones to do. Some of those, just being a fan of big ones to do some of those like just as being a fan of the show both the tv show and the podcast like when a big big episode comes up i like to just be in the background and listen to y'all talk about it i you know i want to just stay out of the way yeah so i was trying to find it uh i was trying to find one that allows us to talk about like one of the things that makes scrubs great and this one popped up and and the part that i hooked on was the storyline here with with carla and dr kelso yeah when he when he when

she when she becomes a proxy for him and i'm like okay this is this is perfect because the show scrubs is like it's it's a bunch of different things this is this affirmation of humanity it's a referendum on the like existential toll of working in medicine it's a bunch of different things. It's this affirmation of humanity. It's a referendum on the existential toll of working in medicine. It's a workplace comedy where a married couple raises a pumpkin as a child. There's a bunch of shit going on. But one thing that it especially is, is this masterwork in intimate relationship building. The show is obviously good when it leans on several of the cast members at the same time.

Like that part's in there. But it's exceptional when it takes two people and it just lets them be those two people together. Like every good TV show has at least one great duo, but the very best shows, The Office, The Wire, Breaking Bad, Sopranos, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, whatever, they have multiple great duos.

And that's where Scrubs sits. I think Scrubs maybe has the highest number of excellent duos that we've ever seen. And it stretches across so many things. The JD character alone, he's in five separate great duos. It's JD and Turk, JD and Dr. Cox, JD and Carla, JD and Elliot, and JD and the janitor. And it's like every time you get those two people together in the scene it's awesome to watch and that by season five when we get here anytime you get just two of them alone it's fucking great and kelso and carla here are a perfect example of that

i agree with you a hundred percent on that that and their relationship tracks all the way from the sandwich line you know what i mean it tracks so he's always confided he only confides in her as we watch the show you know what i mean that's the one he talks to that's how we learn all of these things about yeah and so he only likes her yeah by the, I was watching this morning. I usually watch right before we record, but today I watched this morning, and it's such a great way to start your day. I was just laughing my ass off first thing in the morning, and then I had a wave of something that hasn't happened a ton,

and then I really felt true nostalgia today missing doing this. I mean, we always watch this and we laugh and we go, what a time. But I laughed so much in this episode that I was like, God, you know, especially with everything that's happening in the world and the apocalypse of Earth, I was just like, gosh, going

to work every day and laughing your ass off. For nine years, I don't know that I'll ever have a job as good because it was just so, and we didn't have a care in the world. It was all on Bill's shoulders. We just, we just showed up and did our thing. We would riff and we would play around and we'd be silly, but it was all, you know, the pressure was on the writers to deliver one, uh, one every week for us to have a jumping off point.

And, you know, nowadays, you know, Donald and I are much more involved in like, oh, my God, is it going to happen? Oh, will it come together? Will I get the part? Will my movie come together in this? You know, we're grownups now. There's a lot more responsibility. And, of course, sometimes we just take jobs where we're just an actor for hire. But I don't know.

I had this – I don't know i had this i i don't know where it came from this morning but i i had this reaction like wow what a time like i'm just laughing my ass off with my best friend and we knew at this time season five was one of our highest rated times we were we were killing it and uh i don't know i'm rambling but i know i agree with you it was a great i it was a great moment it was great to look back at at you know i today i wrote down in my notes wow that the the background shining through i recognize so many faces you know what i mean from you know from you know people that were with us throughout the whole run to people that you know there's faces and i'm like i don't even recognize some of these people but for the most part you know it's like

rob's girlfriends in this episode they go on to be together for a really long time i don't know if she's a girl in the bowling alley yeah with the blonde hair yeah i did it for a long time really really long time you know what i mean and it's like i just it did it for a long time. Really, really long time. You know what I mean? And it's like, I just, it was very interesting. I did get nostalgic because this is such a funny episode. And I found myself laughing really, really hard. You know what I mean? I took pages of notes. We're not going to get to all my notes.

We can't. There's no way. I just pretty much wrote down every line. There's no way. I know it's a good one when I'm like, I write on yellow legal pad. And when I've got like four pages, I'm like, we're not going to get to the ship. I basically just wrote down every line of the show. That's the longest sheets too.

I do want to make sure that we get to the sausage is huge, first of all. Because that made me laugh too. That made me laugh really hard. And second, I want to make sure we get to the misdirect that JD is going going through at the end if we don't if we all right we're gonna talk about let's just let's get to the top of the show um now the funny thing is that jd says a month ago i shaved my head and first of all he has like six months of hair yeah, he's a hairy man, I guess. And then someone on Scrubb, I mean, really, they could have... He's a lucky, lucky man, Zach. He's a lucky man.

Why did the writers not just say five months? I guess they didn't want to jump that far ahead or something? Yeah. But on Scrubb's wiki, of course, someone did the math, and they said that the average person's hair grows a half an inch a month. Well, you are... So they theorize...

He's an exception. He's an exception. This is the level of our fans that someone went and did math, and they theorize that I've got about five months of growth, not one month. And it introduces us to the Krishnas, the Hari Krishnas. Yes. Now, first of all, I have lots of questions about the Krishnas.

A little bit of trivia about the Krishnas. Che, you're going to love this. They are the same people, same group of actors that shaved their heads for Carol. This was on Scrubs Wiki. We just recycled them. Yeah, well, obviously, they just newly shaved their heads. They're like, hey, you guys can see next week. they just newly shaved their heads.

They're like, hey, you guys can see next week. First, I was thinking like, gosh, in 2021, would you have to get real Hare Krishnas? I mean, people might be like, those aren't real Hare Krishnas. It's an acting gig, dude. You don't need to get real Hare Krishnas for an acting gig. Well, I'm just saying in this day and age, people want

the real person to person who... I don't know. First of all, I don't know if Hare Krishnas are allowed to be in a bowling alley drinking beer at the end. Are they allowed to – That was hilarious, dude. That was so funny. One, not only that, the fact that he takes the pencil and erases your hair. That was – Joe, when you Google for accuracy, I mean I imagine Hare Krishnas are probably allowed to bowl.

They're allowed to have entertainment. I don't think they're allowed to pound beers in a bowling alley. I don't know. I have a question, though. Go ahead. JD thinks the song Mellow Yellow is about a liver patient. Yeah, that's a really funny bit. Yes.

Now I finally know what it's about. Now I finally get what it's about. Now I finally get what it's about. It's about having a liver problem. They call me Mellow Yellow. So we meet Frank, who's got a liver problem. And hold on. Joelle wrote this in the notes. Let's see here.

They are vegetarians, yes, and they renounce use of alcohol and drugs. Well, not on scrubs. On scrubs? That doesn't say they can't bowl, but on scrubs, they pound beers in the bowling alley. Maybe that particular group of Hare Krishnas had fallen off the wagon. Yeah, they were different. They were on rumspringer. Is that what the Amish do?

Rumspringers, yeah, when the Amish are allowed to go party for all the time. For as long as you want. For as long as you want? Isn't it for like as long? It's not like the Mormons where you get the gear. How long, Rum Springers? As long as you want, we hope you make it back to the. Yeah, maybe they're on Hare Krishna Rum Springer.

I think the idea is they want you to choose the Amish lifestyle. And so you go and you're allowed... Oh, Joel says around two years you go on Rumspringer. Around. It doesn't say two years. It says around. So that's debatable. Wasn't that a reality show?

Wasn't that a reality show? Yeah, it was, man. I watched it, man. I don't remember. Do you watch it? I don't remember. Was it called Rumspringer? I wish.

Please, God, yes. I think it was just... I only watched one episode. I don't remember. You watched it? I don't remember. Was it called Rum Springer? I wish. Please, God, yes. I think it was just, I only watched one episode. And these people- Joel, what is the Amish Rum Springer reality show called? Because I need to watch it. They would stay with- What happens? They go out and they party?

They party hard. And, you know, but you're still allowed to kind of go back to the- It's called Breaking Amish. Breaking Amish. That was it. Yes. I've never- Joel, Shay, have you to the Breaking Amish. Breaking Amish. That was it. Yes. I've never... Che, have you ever watched Breaking Amish? Maybe you can write an essay

about it. I have not seen that one. Okay. Speaking of reality shows, I watched an episode of... Not to digress for a second. Bachelor in Paradise. Please say yes. No. You watched... You motherfucker! Dude, yes, man! It's the best! So good. It's candy! It's candy! I can't believe how many people it's the best it's candy it's candy i can't believe

how many people watch candy what do you like about it it's sexual you people hook up and you know do they put the sounds of them hooking up on there oh absolutely yes oh yes this is disney's version of porn yes this is disney's version of porn he puts this out it's hilarious man it's the things that like first, first of all, these people go to a tropical island with a bunch of beautiful people to find love, right? Right. And every week they introduce new hot people.

And so the person that you're with next week might see the person that they've been waiting for this whole time. Like, they all know each other. And they're all from the season, so they all know, like, oh my God it's chad from season three right and your job is to stay on for as long as you can so some people fake like they're in love with people and some right and then somebody else comes in and they just dump that person and leave that person person

singing the person winds up sitting on the beach with a guitar singing sad songs, man. It's freaking hilarious, dude. That episode was so brutal. But wasn't that right? Didn't you laugh at that? Poor Connor. Poor Connor, dude. I'm telling you right now, man.

I wouldn't make it through five minutes. I tried, and I was like, this makes me feel so dirty. Hold on. Babe. Babe. Oh, God. Babe. All right, here comes the theme song.

Hit it, God. Babe! All right, here comes the theme song. Hit it, Daniel. Casey, come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these fools. So tell me what to do. I don't know nothing about raising these kids. And that's what it is. It's truly incredible. Shay, I'll be walking around my house folding laundry singing that fucking song. You should be.

You should be very proud of it. For no reason. Hey, there she is. Hi. We just played your theme song. Don't worry. Okay. How have you turned Donald into a Bachelor in Paradise watcher?

Well, the same way I'm going to turn you into a Bachelor in Paradise watcher. Are you kidding? It's like crack. First of all, say hi to Shay. Hi, Shay. Have you all never met? No, I don't think we've ever met, but I've heard so much about you. Yes.

He's going to steal Donald from me because he loves scrubs and basketball. Yes. And rap music. All accurate. I can't have Shay around Donald too long because the Venn diagram of things they love is too overlapped. Once a season that's the limit right there. Alright, but Casey, how did... Donald's like

sitting here talking about how great Bachelor in Paradise is. Okay, first off, have you ever seen it? You've never seen it. I've seen episodes of The Bachelor but not Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, yeah. They should just cancel The Bachelor. Nobody... They'd have no... they'd have no, what do you call it? They wouldn't have an island. They wouldn't have contestants on the island.

They wouldn't have the minor league team, Shay, when you train them to go up to the majors? Yeah, yeah. The AAA. Yeah, they wouldn't have a AAA team. Well, so it's basically this group of people and they're all on the island. And then every like few, you know, so they all start to like bond and hook up and you know meet their match and find their person and then like three days later someone else is added to the island and someone else and then you've got people that are you know they're like i you know you're the one for me i there's no one else here i want to date i've never

felt love like this then all of a sudden the camera pans to the steps in the island and here comes some new chick. And the guy's like, wait a minute. It's awesome. Is there a person that could be added to your house that you would be like, alright Donald,

I gotta ditch you now. Good question. I'm gonna be honest, you know Donald's the most jealous person in the entire world, so I can't even answer questions. No, you can answer because you have said that. You have? The most jealous person in the world? That's not true.

You're not the most jealous person in the world. Answer the question. Go ahead. I know what the answer is, Casey. Answer the question, babe. Answer the question. That guy from Bridgerton. No, I'm not answering.

Can I tell the story about what happened? How I know not to answer? Yeah, but I was drunk out of my mind. First of all, years ago. I was so drunk, first of all. First of all, years ago, we were at a party, and everybody was just shooting the shit and said, you know, the whole, who would you?

Kill, fuck, or marry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I wasn't partaking in the game, first of all. They asked me and I was like, well, duh. I would kill Tom Cruise, marry Liam Neeson, and fuck the shit out of the guy from

Sons of Anarchy. You see how she said fuck the shit out of the guy from Sons of Anarchy? Wow. You added some extra in there, man. I don't even know if I said the shit. By the way, you didn't have to say fuck the shit out of the guy. She did today, though. But everyone gets it, Casey.

Storytelling. I'm storytelling right now. Yeah, Jack's teller. I'm storytelling. So anyway, we go home. He doesn't talk to me that night. I think, oh, he's wasted, whatever. Three days he slept on the couch and did not speak to me.

Yes! To the point that I'm calling my friends from the party asking, what happened? He hasn't talked to me in three days. I couldn't remember what the hell. You definitely shouldn't answer Shay's question right now. No.

The best, Zach, is when I finally oh, and then the best, Zach, is when he finally, I finally said, you've got to talk to me. This is crazy. It's been four days. What happened? And he was like, you want to fuck that guy from Sons of Anarchy?

And I'm like, what? And then the kicker is, he doesn't look anything like me. I was like, oh my God, noted. The funniest part, if I was playing F. Mary Kill and it got around to my girlfriend and she was like, I did this, I do this. And then she got to the fuck one and she was like, but I would fuck the shit out of you. I'd be a little like, okay, babe. That's not really the title of the game.

Let's calm down. Oh, my God. Rocco, for our listeners, this is brought in the bearded dragon. Yeah, I'm cleaning the dragon tank. He's so cute. All right, Casey, we got to move on with the show tank. It's so cute. All right, Casey, we got to move on with the show. Thank you for your answer. Yeah.

Zach, I love you. Zach, I love you. I know. We know. You got to go, though. Let me see if I can answer the question for her. What was the question? The question was, is there somebody who could walk into your house that she would trade you in for, but I think she just answered it.

Yeah, she knows better than to say a name on that one. All right. All right, let's get back to the show, Scrubs. We'll get divorced on that answer real quick. Let's get back to the television show, Scrubs. So Cox has developed a method of zoning everybody out, which I thought was very funny, when he closes his eyes and goes into a meditative state

and he hears the ocean and seagulls. Yeah, man. That's his way of quieting out. You get a sense that he's doing that all the time. I wish I could do that sometimes. Oh, I do do that, actually. You know how I do it? Smoke weed on the balcony.

That's how it's done. We learn that Dude Meister means master of dudes. In German. In German. And that Sarah doesn't really want to marry him because of his last name. Right. Which leads to what is a very elaborate setup for a Todd joke. Yes.

Of Todd coming in. Elliot saying, no, first Elliot says to Krista, you don't like Cox? And Jordan says, actually, I love Cox. Very proud of us for getting that on NBC. And then in runs Rob, who says this is the greatest conversation ever. And then, doll, what happens?

Then somebody says, a female voice in the background says, oh my god, this sausage is huge! And Tom says, excuse me, ladies, I'm needed elsewhere. If that isn't perfect writing for a character i don't know what is man like they just that's nailed you automatically know if you've ever watched a show before that's dead on if you've never watched the show before you know exactly who this character is what's so funny is i bet for five years they were trying to figure out how they could get I Love Cox on NBC. Yes.

They finally deduced it. All right. We'll be right back after these fine words with more talk about loving Cox. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.

That's where the bright side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.

We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine

every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge.

Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums. But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes packed with

original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million nights sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news,

you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.

I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. We're back! And we're back! So Frank's brother is a stand-up comedian, a cruise ship one, and you and I find him hilarious.

Yeah. His jokes are horrible, but you and I, we're just so happy to know him. We can't get over it. We're just so happy to know a comedian. Yeah. Yes. And everything's a joke. He's always on.

And then he does something and you go, I didn't get that one. And you go, I didn't either. I wonder if we made that up on the spot because we didn't truly get the joke. I feel like we made that up because we were like, we actually didn't get the joke. Okay. So Kelso opens up to Carla. Wait, before you get there, the funniest fantasy in Scrubs history is me having your ass. Oh, boy.

Okay. The best part of the joke is the last line of the button. That's the best part. What, thanks for the butt plan? No. When he says, when Nurse Roberts comes in and goes, the Todd says he needs you in OR. And Turk says, well, tell Todd.

I said, what did he say? To kiss my black ass. Yeah, to kiss my black ass. And he then turns to JD and goes, I bet you wish you could say that. And genuinely, JD goes, I do. I do.

But dude, the way they stuffed my booty to be a cartoonish version of it. Listen, you got a big old thick booty, but they went extreme. It rivals that of the Kardashians. It rivals that of Cardi B. But dude, the funniest part that I noticed, I'm not sure everyone in the audience, if you're going to watch the episode after you listen to this, go back and look at Donald. He is doing his best to tighten his ass cheeks and waddle away to act like he's actually given me his butt.

My favorite part of that little scene right there is when J.D. is explaining who the guy is. He says he's a comedian on a cruise ship, and then there's a pause, and he tells another joke, and he goes, says he's a comedian on a cruise ship and then there's a pause and he tells another joke and he goes and he's a genius. The way that you deliver the line there is one of my favorite line readings of the whole show. It's like up there with the way that Turk says it's so hot.

It's so hot. Donald was talking about you get a line of the Todd and you know exactly who this guy is. Like you see just this one second of J.D. saying a line in a way and you're like, oh, okay. This is like a special character. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Absolutely.

J.D. is the type of person that likes magic. You know what I mean? Not only does he like you. I think performers of any kind. Of any kind, right kind right yeah jazz hands and if you're a comedian on a cruise ship i do not judge that you're a cruise ship level i think you're an artist yes when the they do the daydream of jd getting turks but i was thinking in my head like a couple of episodes right before this one the title of one of the episodes is my buddy's

booty yeah and then this is in reference to a booty call, but I was like, man, this is like all sort of tied together, even if not intentionally. I thought that was cool. My Buddy's Booty. By the way,

we skipped one of the funniest parts in all nine years of Scrubs, and that's me dancing with the Harry Christos. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Talk about commitment. Talk about commitment.

Bro. ZB. I could watch myself. Krishna. Hare Krishna. No, and I made up the lyrics like, he's Krishna. The best Krishna. The best Krishna. But, bro, listen, I see the Hare Krishnas a lot in New York. Where?

In Union Square Park. They're there almost all the time. But, bro, listen, I see the Hare Krishnas a lot in New York. Where? Where? Where? In Union Square Park. They're there almost all the time. Just chilling? No, singing that song. But they're very mellow and very peaceful, obviously. They are not dancing like JD. And those moves I'm throwing are so freaking funny,

if I do say so myself. Krishna. He's a Krishna. Very funny. But I got, like, I'm doing, like, some fame shit, Donald. Like, I'm throwing this arm up here like this. And then, like, jazz hands and then, like, this shit. Yeah, and then you're like, I didn't let, I didn't, I wasn't, you know,

it was a momentary thing when somebody says hey to JD and he goes, praise Krishna. Uh-huh, yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah, it's just a like passing joke. Very funny. Oh, I love that about the comedian guy. He'd be a dynamite center square.

Right. I don't know why they don't bring back Hollywood squares. Very funny. Oh, I love that about the comedian guy. He'd be a dynamite center square. Right. Right. I don't know why they don't bring back Hollywood Squares. It would seem like it would be very successful, and you could be socially distanced. They've done it so many times now. There's so many incarnations of it. It's so cringe.

Is it? Well, I remember when I was a child liking it. I liked it when he was on it. When it first started, you and I were kids. No, it was before our time. Oh, yeah, that may have been like a 70s version. But the version that was in the 80s. Who was the center square?

Whoopi. No, this was before Whoopi. Oh. Joel, can you look up? Howie Mandel? Who was the center square in the the hollywood squares in like the 80s it was whoever's before whoopi but then whoopi did it a long time yeah the show was so stupid though well yes you know you try to i remember when alf was in it that was great what are you

doing now now i guess I guess if you were a comedian, you could write your own punchlines to what the setups were. If not, you had to do theirs. Yeah, but they were so cringe. But that's every game show, dude. You haven't done the game show circuit. Some of them are so much fun, like doing To Tell the Truth

with Anthony Anderson is so much fun. Really? Oh my god. I'm proud to say I've only been on one game show, so much fun and doing. Oh my God. I'm proud to say I've only been on one game show, both in character and out. Well, that's the best game show there ever was. I kind of want to be on it again.

I wish they could have us back like weekly. Right? I would love. Do you think they'll let us go on next? Do you think they'll let us go on next time they do Celebrity Family Feud again? I want to go on again. Do you think? Yeah, I don't know.

Shit. We crushed. We demolished. We crushed. Yeah, we beat Neil Flynn. It was a perfect game. Daniel, you were so good. And you got the Steve Harvey look away.

I cringe in the shower about that sometimes. Now you have those things in your life that could have happened when you were 12, but you still cringe in the shower when you think about them? One of mine is Daniel getting the Steve Harvey look away. Well, you're like, it should have been me! It should have been me! It should have been me! And then I get down on my knees, and I'm like,

it's raining, I pretend to shower, and then I look up like Shawshank Redemption and put my arms out. Okay, two things two things that Two things that I have questions about. So Turk and JD are diehard Gilmore Girls fans, one. Yes. And when did Todd get kicked out of the men's locker room? Yes.

Todd is no longer allowed in the men's locker room. This is not – I wish I could have seen this. I thought it was a co-ed locker room. Yeah. I wish I could have seen this. I wish I know what he did to get kicked out of the way you made a very good point donald in many an episode it's co-ed but then i think it must have changed somebody uh didn't carla and them complain about i think no i think early on in the show's run

it was co-ed. Do you remember when Sarah did the whole burlesque number and everything? That was very early on. And then the hospital must have changed policies, probably because of Todd. And then it became men's only, and that's when Hooch got bullion cubes. And Todd was doing lots of rat tails in his banana hammock. He probably got kicked out for rat tailing someone too hard. What do you call it when you towel someone like that? Yeah, rat tail.

He's a tail might. That sounds right. Yeah. Or just probably something. But Joan Rivers was the center square. There you go. Yes. Thank you, Joel.

The great, the late great. So Kelso, yeah, so Gilmore Girls, I've never seen an episode of Gilmore Girls. Neither have I. It's very popular. Oh, mistake. Oh, it's so good.

Listen, if you like fast-talking, unnecessary drama, Gilmore Girls is where it at. Rich white people problems, yes. Everything about it is perfect. What is the premise? It's a mother and daughter, and they both have problems. Lorelai Gilmore had a baby when she was 16, and she was independent.

So she was like, screw you, parents. I'm leaving this rich house and taking my baby with me. I'm naming her after me. There are two Lorelais. The younger one's name is Rory. Rory's super smart. In order to get into a prestigious school, she gets in by herself, but they need money to pay. So Lorelai's parents are like, if you come back and visit us every friday for dinner oh good premise we will pay

her tuition and so she has to go back and confront all of the stuff she left behind but also she's 32 raising a 16 year old they're sort of best friends but they're also mother and daughter and that causes a lot of friction because you can't be best friends with your teenager um boundaries and then and then rory starts to become lorelei in ways that lorelei never wanted and that's when the show gets joelle you're pitching the shit out of the show it really makes sense so fucking good joelle when you are when you are finally ready to pitch your own shows in in uh in pitch rooms you're gonna crush because it's all about it's all about doing exactly what you just did.

I started your paragraph going like, I'm never going to watch this. And by the end, I'm like, and then Lorelei is what with Rory? But isn't part of the- Well, it was a great pitch, but I will never watch- Yeah, I love how you're like, I like how you're like, I would never,

but I'll watch fucking Bachelor in Paradise. I will watch Bachelor in Paradise any day i think the writing reference every six seconds in that show you would right but isn't the writing respected i mean isn't it people think it's good writing yeah they say a lot they say yes very strong writing but they're all very it's like over is the criticism that it's like overwritten like nobody talks like this and they all speak very fast and i think it's stupid i love when it's like overwritten, like nobody talks like this and they all speak very fast? Which I think is stupid. I love when it's like a highly stylized vocal stuff. Like Aaron Sorkin's people are like, no one talks about it. Like who gives a fuck?

It sounds amazing to the ear. It's great. And it's the same way. Well, Sorkin is like poetry. I love it. It's so great. And in Gilmore Girls, they had like a, as actors, I think you could appreciate, they had like, their scripts were twice as long as anybody else's script. There's so much content and they speak so fast.

They had to memorize twice as much like script as than anybody else. So it's, it's just a really impressive, like, and there's a small town called stars hollow and it's so cute. It's perfect show. I bet they fall. I bet they both fall in and out of love with wonderful men.

All the time. All the time, Zach. All right. I, I, I'm going to give it a try. Anyway, we learned. No, you're what? Whoa. That's how I'm going to give it a try. Anyway, we learned...

No, you... What? Whoa! That's how simple it is to get you to try? Joelle's picture is fucking amazing. I'd be the worst executive. I'd be like,

Joelle could sell me anything. I'd just buy it. We have to make you head of a studio immediately. Let's do it. I can't wait to hear how much you love Gilmore Girls. I might give it a try.

I like both of those actresses. I think they're both very talented. And I don't know that I'm really going to watch it. I guess if I had, if my girlfriend was super into it, I could probably it'd probably be one of those shows I could be convinced. But meanwhile, I'm going to be the one that's like, I'm going to be the one that's like, babe, do you want to watch Gilmore Girls?

Exactly. Alright, so Kelso can't stop crying because he lost Baxter. But he's showing no emotion. There's just tears running down his face. And so Carla has to run interference with all of the people that come knocking on his door asking for things. Yeah, and she's wonderful for doing that for him. It just shows you, you know, part of it is the fact that she's been given this newfound power to say, to do what Dr. Kelso does, to actually run the hospital for a brief moment. But it also is the fact that, you know, she's flattered and very honored that Kelso can't talk to anybody about this, but he decided to talk to her. So it's really cool.

It's a great moment in their relationship. Why do you think he chooses her? Shay, she's sort of at the heart of the show, obviously. We know that. But of all the people, that's who he confides in. Yeah, she has a gravity to her that just pulls people in. She does the thing where she talks to you and you immediately feel comfortable with her. You feel safe.

It's like a version of mom energy. Tammy Taylor on Friday Night Lights is the same way where you just want to have a conversation with this person because you know you're going to be able to say the stuff you need to say. And she's not going to judge you or make you feel dumb about it. She's going to be there to like be helpful with you the thing we were talking about um earlier about the like duo thing like if you're putting together a list of like what you have to do to be a good in a duo um judy reyes i think is is the best example of this here where where you have to be able to like highlight the other person's most interesting attributes and this is why she's so good with whoever you put her yeah across across

from like like she could make a scene funnier like when the janitor goes to give her a hug and she just goes limp because she's not sure if he's gonna like is he hugging me or killing me she goes 100% limp and it's the fucking funniest thing without saying the word she could do that she can make a scene more gut punchy like when turk gets his hand stuck in the ice machine and it's like this very silly bit and she gets on the phone and she's like i need you and it gets serious real quick she can she can make a scene more sentimental like when she says goodbye to jd for that last time and puts her head on like she could just whatever you need in a scene, Judy Reyes can do. And she's perfect right here.

And I think that's part of the reason you end up with scenes like this where Kelso just knows he can, just put me with her, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. She's a G, man. She's a true OG too. We just watched the episode,

Shay, where she finds out that, you know, Turk told everyone that they're having a baby. And I just couldn't, you can't take your eyes off her. She's such a good actress. Yeah. She's incredible.

And it's such a good little turn right there. Cause you're waiting for her to be like mad about it. And she doesn't. And you're just like, this is, there's another example of like, she just knows always what to do or say in a moment. And it's like this fucking rules.

Yeah. Her surrender in that scene is amazing. You know what I mean? Because there should be an angry, she should be angry about it, but she's, after all that they've been through, she's like, fuck it, baby. Let's just go in there and enjoy our friendship

with these people and the fact that we're having a baby. You know what I mean? We learned that Turk Knight is watching, he claims he's watching ESPN, but he's really watching gilmore girls right and he and jd talk about what's the ultimate donald knight oh good question it switches up anything god switches up ranch your wish well then my wife might have to be

around for some of the donald knight okay well donald knight can have have a cameo from your wife. Okay. So Donald Knight would be – For relations. Donald Knight would start at 6 a.m. in the morning. Wow. Wow. He's a very early riser. He can make use of this.

By the way, I'm on New York time. And, Joelle, you're an early riser too because I'm on New York time. And you both, like, respond to my texts at, like, 5.30 in the morning. Yeah. I'm up early. So it would start early. at like 5.30 in the morning. Yeah, I'm up early.

So it would start early. And then when it, as it goes, the kids can come around me, but there can't be any arguing. There can't be any fighting. They're allowed to come in and tell you they love you. They're all in good moods. They always have to be in a good mood on Donald Day. My wife, so they also must be able to be self-sufficient and self-reliant so that my wife doesn't come to me complaining about why the kids are fucking with her day, fucking up her day.

Right? So it really boils down to the kids for most of Donald Day. Okay, so the kids are no drama on Donald Day. No drama whatsoever for the wife or for myself. Then what else happens? Ganja. Yeah. God's lettuce.

Lots of it. Yeah. Maybe a movie. You know what would be really cool? I know that COVID is- COVID doesn't exist on this dreamy Donald Day. No, but it does exist in real life. But it would have been great to get out early this morning and go see uh shang chi yes yes you know what i mean in

the movie theater bomb with nobody in it by myself that would be fucking awesome to do so then you go see me i really want to see that movie and i and i'm and i'm i'm avoiding the internet just so none of the, like, the commercial came on, I turned that shit off, dude. Smart. That shit looks fire, dude. Did you see it already, Shay? No, that's on our list of, like, we see that next. We do, like, one movie a week with the family. Yeah.

We did Free Guy on Saturday, this next Saturday. We're going to see that one. I can't. I'm excited for you. All right, what else happens on Donald Day? Sex. You go see Shang-Chi and then you have sex. Obviously. More weed. Delicious food.

Delicious food. Comfortable all day. Do you animate or do you play video games? I could do all of that. You know what I mean? What I'm really into nowadays is, it's really weird, but being creative is a lot of fun. Whereas before, all I thought I could do was act, and I'm finding new ways to be creative.

And so because of that, I would like a day filled with, I don't know, man, Disneyland shit. You know what I mean? It goes on, man. Like, so many things would have to... Donald Day could turn into Donald Week easily. I noticed that Donald Day did not include a FaceTime with me. I haven't started yet. I haven't finished yet.

What do you mean? You did a whole fucking day just now. I just started. You've capped it off with Disneyland. We're only at 10 a.m. We haven't even gotten to the nighttime yet, bro. We haven't even gotten to the nighttime yet. Did. We've been to Disneyland. We haven't even gotten to the nighttime yet. Did you stay for the fireworks?

Well, no, man. Like, well, hopefully you're there with me if we're at Disneyland. Go on. Jeez. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay.

And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions,

we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All that sitting and swiping, our backs hurt, our eyeballs sting. That's our bodies adapting to our technology. But we can do something about it. We saw amazing effects. I really felt like the cloud in my brain kind of dissipated. There's no turning

back for me. Make 2024 the year you put your health before your inbox and take the Body Electric Challenge. Listen to Body Electric from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Parents, if you've ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I'm going to let you into a little secret. I'm Abby, a mother of two, and I had these battles myself. Endless excuses, delay tactics, and many tears and tantrums. But I've created a solution. The perfect kids podcast that makes bedtime a dream. It's called Koala Moon and it's hosted by me, Abby. With over 300 episodes

packed with original stories and sleep meditations, Koala Moon makes bedtimes easy and enjoyable. Episodes start out engaging and really rather magical, but as they progress, they gently slow to a calm and relaxing pace to have your little ones out like a light. Since launching in 2022, Koala Moon has helped with over 20 million night's sleep and received over 6,000 five-star reviews. Win back your evenings. Listen to Koala Moon now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.

And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.

This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. I don't stay for the fireworks, though. I would even get popcorn and cut a hole in the bottom of the bucket. Oh, no. Like in Bachelor Party.

I would do it for you. Yes. Shane, do you remember that movie? Yes. Shane, do you remember Bachelor Party? I do. I do remember that movie. Tom Hanks, before he realized he was going to be America's leading man. Yeah. He's in a movie where a guy puts his dick in a popcorn box.

What about you, Shane? What would your favorite, what would your day be? It's a version of that same stuff. I need to wake up. I need for my kids to all be in good moods. And then maybe Laramie says she's going to take them to, we live in like outer San Antonio. There's a bunch of rivers and stuff around,

so they like to spend time out. So they're like all in good moods, and she says, hey, we're going to take them. I'm going to take all the kids to, like, do an outdoor activity. You should stay here and relax. And I'm like, that sounds perfect. That's a great idea. So they leave, and then she texts me pictures every so often of them, like, having a great time so I don't feel guilty about it.

And then I watch whatever I'm watching on TV. And then when she's on her way home, she's like, hey, I'm going to stop at your favorite Mexican restaurant. Do you want me to pick you up something? And I'm like, yes. And there's no wait. So the cheese is not like all messed up by the time it gets to me. And then I eat all that. And then I give my kids a hug and a kiss.

And I like say a funny thing. And they laugh. And then they go to sleep. And then I go to sleep too. Boom. Oh, you go to bed early. Oh, I go to bed so early. laugh, and then they go to sleep. And then I go to sleep too. Boom. Oh, you go to bed early. Oh, I go to bed so early. 8.30, 9 o'clock.

Yeah, Donald's the same way. Good for you. Casey puts Donald down around 8. And then she calls him from Sons of Anarchy, and they have a great old time. All right, listen. Let's talk about this bowl. Let's go back to scrubs, this bowling alley, okay?

JD bowls a gentleman's 40. Everybody else bowled really well. Yeah. Yeah, 190-something, 180-something. Like, holy shit. Donald, can you really bowl? I forgot. I've bowled high numbers before.

I'm not a bowler, though. Yeah, but you're one of those guys who's just naturally like, okay, show me how to do it. Okay, bad, bad, bad. Now I'm great. Well, not bad. It's not now I'm great, but I do have athletic abilities, yes. No, but you're good at stuff like that.

Josh Radin's like that, too. He's like, okay, so it's darts, right? You just aim for the center. Okay, one goes on the wall. One goes on the wall. One goes on the ceiling. Okay, just, oh, now he's like okay so it's darts right you just throw it you just aim for the center okay one goes on the wall one goes on the wall one goes in the ceiling okay just oh now he's fucking great the detroit red wings is there a reason i didn't johnny c have a friend on this team why are they brought up so much i don't he just loves he wore their jersey. I think he had a friend on the team. I don't know. I have no idea why the Detroit Red Wings. We can ask him when we see him. But hockey, he's very into hockey. The only thing that he wants to talk to Mr. Dudemeister about is hockey.

The Red Wings, yeah. Gloria. And then everyone realizes that they have an in to Dr. Cox. And all the interns begin wearing Detroit Red Wings jerseys, including Gloria. Whose problem, you know, they're all hoping that Dr. Cox will say nice things to them after berating them and everything. And they want advice, and they want leadership. And he'll give them advice, right, some type of – and Gloria's husband – Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend, sorry, is bi-curious and wants her to pick out his new lovers.

Yes. And she wants Cox's advice on how to handle that situation. On how to handle that situation. How do you handle that situation? That's a tough situation for gloria i feel for her i i think that's a tough situation for anyone i would not want to be in that position because by curious doesn't just well you are our resident um fluid person can you tell us how you handle that situation well there's a lot of things happening in that if you're

by curious is a weird statement to me you're either by maybe like well i don't know if i could i'd see myself with this okay but if you're like in a committed relationship i don't i personally don't understand the reason to be like oh well now i need to try with it's not that different it's just another person you have the same kind of relationship issues you have with anybody on the other hand if you're like hey i want to be um like polly or i'm looking to explore outside of this relationship that's an entirely different conversation i don't think polly existed back then though that's the that's that's that's fair i don't think the name using

the words that they had especially you know um i imagine her partner is also at an advanced age why do you why do you assume that that's ages joel why Joelle. I suppose it is ageist. Why couldn't Gloria rock a 20-year-old? She could. She could. Gloria's got it going on. She's becoming a doctor. She got that snappy haircut. I wonder why Gloria's – yeah, and by the way, Gloria's really gone to med school at 70 or whatever she is.

Why do you think Gloria's boyfriend wants her to choose the subjects for his bi curiosity? So he feels less guilty. Yeah, because he doesn't have to take any responsibility. Well, then maybe Gloria is going to sabotage it and pick someone who doesn't look like a good lover. Who knows? That's how you get caught up. Then you find out like, oh, no, they're amazing. Right.

Gloria also dates Leonard.ard so and he's not old he's young you know that's right shay god you're so good you're like scrubs wiki so i think i think that i think that this i think we can assume safely that um this relationship that glory is in now must end and then she gets together with Leonard. Yes. Now, what happens that J.D. finds out that Cox is giving advice to interns? Who does he hear this from? My favorite part.

Oh, my God. That was so funny. I am so G-darn pissed. This run is hilarious. Him running in and seeing Cox sitting down with Rex. With Rex, right. And he says, look at you and your biracial love fest.

And he goes, you know what? And poor Rex has nothing to do with any of it. But then he's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give you back the pencil. And Cox is like, what pencil? The pencil that you gave me on the third day I was here. Oh my God.

When I pulled that tiny pencil out from behind my ear, I laughed so hard. That's one of the biggest laughs of season five to me, that that little pencil is behind my ear the whole time. The whole time. Not only that, you point to an intern, you go, whatever this guy's name is. And Cox goes, oh, that's Leslie. And then that pisses you off even more. That pisses JB off even more. Leslie. Great.

Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. And then he walks out. And then he walks into your whole body. Crazy. And he comes running back in. Leslie!

Oh, my God. I laughed so hard at that. Me being so mad. It reminded me of Corky in Waiting for Goffman, Christopher Guest. Because I was like, remember when he goes to try and get a bigger budget for the musical? And I'm just going to bite my pillow. Yeah, and he goes, I need $30,000. And the entire budget for the town is thirty thousand dollars and that includes

swimming well there's no swimming in my show you're bastard people i hate you and your ass faces i'm gonna go home and bite my pillow and i one of the greatest scenes in cinema history and i I feel like I'm channeling quirky here. I am so G darn pissed. All right. Then they give the four, what do we call it? Our four co-stars, Nurse Roberts, the janitor, Ted, and the Todd, are pissed because Carla did Kelso's work and told them all no.

Yes, and then we hear Koyana Scottsey again. Is that how you say it, the song? Koyana Scottsey. That's when the janitor's ever giving his evil eye. And so they give the death stare, and she can't take it. And she's like, please, I don't want you guys mad at me. Is there anything I can do to stop this? And the lawyer says, yes, we want tickets to the Latin Grammys.

Because they think she must know someone. And she's like, I can't get you tickets to the Latin Grammys. And they're like, ah, come on, you gotta know somebody. And she's like, I can't. Elliot, tell them. And even Elliot's like, come on, Carla. I know you know somebody. Why do they want tickets to the Latin Grammys,

A, and B, it's so fun because they assume Carla knows someone because she's Hispanic. Right. The part where the janitor gets mad at Ted for not giving the evil eye. Right. He says, you know, yes, sad.

It's like, it's all I got. What about when they asked when Todd explains how he channeled his evil eye. He says, I just thought about flat boobies and it made me mad I'm telling you every other sentence in this fucking episode is a joke and then those cargo pants that they put uh Keith in Right. So they do that, and Cox comes in, and we realize that Cox and Keith have on the same outfit.

And then right after we realize that, here comes JD with the callback to call back the joke that Cox is being nice to interns. Being nice to interns. Right. So this is the best part of the show to me, the end of this episode, when Kelso is talking to Carla

about why he's sad and it's not just because of Baxter and it's not because his son shows up to his 50th birthday with freshly pierced nipples and a barely legal Filipino boy named Pogo.

This son Harrison has been so much stress for Kelso. Oh my gosh, dude. But then after that, he goes on to create a play. The play is the best thing I've ever heard of in my life. The play's already happened. No, this is before. This is his 50th birthday. This was before his 50th birthday. This was years ago.

I forget. This was like 10 years ago. I really would like someone to just outline. If we had an intern here at Fake Doctors, I would have them go through all the episodes and give me all the things that Harrison has done to Kelso.

To get back at him. And I would like Donald to do a claymation animation video of all the things Harrison did. Oh my God, I would love to do that. I would love to do a stage... I would love to do a claymation stage performance of Dr. Dead.

That would be the best thing ever. Oh my God. And then have them go to the wings and make out? And then make out with the... And then make out with... He comes off stage and harrison's applauding so happy for him and they just start making out yeah i would love that yes oh yeah do that in your next animation you can do it legos done and done done lego it's lego lego lego i know everyone's been adding me about this guys

i get it i'm sorry you're right donald's right you don't have to tag me in your it's lego fucking memes i get it i will never use the plural of legos again the plural of what the plural of lego again you know what the you know what the best surprise at the end of the show is something that's a reveal that i never knew in nine years of doing Scrubs. What's that? Nurse Roberts loves Appletinis. Yeah, I did see that too. That was kind of cool. Thanks for the teeny girl.

Yeah. And the janitor still wants Latin Grammy tickets. Latin Grammy tickets or bust. She goes, I'll tell you the nominations. I think right there she asks him what category and he says Miami Reggaeton. He says Reggaeton.

Which is hilarious because they didn't do that until like last year. Like an official Reggaeton category at the Latin Grammys. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Really? Reggaeton's been around forever though. That's crazy. Reg, that is some serious trivia. That's crazy.

Reggaeton's been around forever. That shit's been around since I was a kid. Yeah, I might get that wrong, but I'm pretty sure it was last year. It was like a whole big controversy because none of the reggaeton artists got nominated for the big awards. And everyone said, what the hell? This is like the most streamed music on the planet.

Is Bad Bunny considered reggaeton? Yes. Bad Bunny, J Balvin, all that. But it doesn't necessarily have the reggae beat to it, though. You know what I mean? Yeah. Bad Bunny does like... His is more hip-hop beats.

Like in rap, you have trap music. Yeah. That's what he's doing for reggaeton. Reggaeton. He's the best, man. I love Bad Bunny, man. Awesome. I don't know one thing he says except for,

El culo fenomenon. When he says that, man. You know culo fenomenon? El culo fenomenon. You just gotta feel it. Baby, I already. My daughter's in the backseat singing that shit. She has no idea what he's saying, but it sounds so good.

Daniel, I need Donald singing. Culo phenomenon. El culo phenomenon. It's such a good song. Baby, I owe it to you. We are going to have a guest come on. We're going to take a break. We'll be right back after these words.

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We are back! I wish I could show Zach my culoo-hole. Because he's a dick off camera and radio show. Are you implying to the audience that I was a jerk to you during the commercial break? Yes, you were. I want to, while we have a second, to take my Cyclops and... Your Cyclops? Is that a term for balloon?

No. Balloon knot? Yeah. Loaf cutter? You ever looked into the eye of a Cyclops? Is that a term for balloon? No. Balloon knot? Yeah. Loaf cutter? You ever looked into the eye of a Cyclops? Caught a breeze? Ooh, I hope not. What's your favorite anus term besides balloon knot?

The Cyclops. I've never heard that. Never. It's my one eye. It's my one eye area. Okay. never it's my one eye it's my one eye area okay um i wanted to on that note shout out shay shay tell everyone if you if you've never heard shay before uh we love shay because he's very smart and very popular on twitter um but also he wrote a series of essays on scrubs that's how i originally found found Shay because he

is an incredible writer. Shay, tell everyone now how to find your essays on scrubs. It's available on a website called halfwaybooks.com. They're awesome. Are you working on anything right now?

No. I have the new rap book that comes out at the end of October. Oh, nice. Let's plug that. Yeah. It's called Hip Hop and Other Things. It's the third book in my little And Other Things series that I've done. So I'm in a holding pattern.

But the book has been done for a couple months. It's getting printed now. So now I just wait until that comes out. This is why I could feel I could lose... You said Halfway Books, Shay? Yeah, HalfwayBooks.com. HalfwayBooks.com. This is why I feel like I could lose

Donald to Shay, because Shay's interests are scrubs, basketball, rap music, being a father, and others. I got to ask you a question. I got to ask you a question.

Do you talk about what's going on right now in rap music and how it's a young... I mean, I guess it's always been a young man's game, but now how all of the greats are kind of up there now, you know what I mean? And who are the new greats are kind of up there now you know what i mean and who are the new greats like i mean the obvious is drake obviously because he's i mean did you like his new album donald drake yeah it's fire man he's just it's he's all he has a song out it seems like every week though you know what i mean it's like he's always and that's why he's the best rapper right now because there's never a moment in time where he doesn't have music out

you know what I mean I feel like Kendrick is coming I can't wait when he put out Family Ties with him and Keem and he's like oh shit he's coming back he said everybody's dying I'm coming back outside everybody's dead

I love him it's like do you dive into that you know other than that I'm gonna be honest with you I'm not really up on what hip hop is you know other than Drake, Kanye Kendrick Lamar I mean I know about DaBaby

because of what he said but I knew about him before that I mean I feel like he made Dua Lipa you only know about DaBaby because of Dua Lipa I knew feel like he made Dua Lipa relevant. You only know about DaBaby because of Dua Lipa. I knew about DaBaby before Dua Lipa, but that song is a hit. That's the only reason I know about DaBaby. Okay, well, I think that song is a hit because she got an American artist on it, and he freaking

represented. Other than that, she'd just be a Euro. She'd be a Euro. Well, I- That's me personally. I like that song. That was my bop for the whole year. I know, because DaBaby was on it. Dua Lipa is the greatest. Dua Lipa and DaBaby.

See? I'm done talking about DaBaby. Well, he's apologized. He's in the news. He's trying to fix that. He don't know much. He didn't know much about it. All right.

Joelle, let's bring in whomever you've curated. Please be a penis doctor. It's not a penis doctor, but it is our first repeat fan call. Yeah! The sex couple. Please, the sex couple! It's not the sex couple. Not yet.

They're coming. They're coming. When Zach's mom was on, Christina was here, and she got some great advice from Zach's mom. And because of some of the stuff that happened, we got some new info. We got a caller who gave us a holler. We can talk, start wars, or sing show tunes, you know, like a baller. Smoke some jazz cabbage,

maybe talk about the episode. So come on, Joelle, let's get the show on the road. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Christina Mortel! Hi, Christina. The only thing I could ever want from a caller is for her to say that my mother somehow helped her. So is that true? Did my mom's advice help you? It did.

It really did. And I think it helped me in ways that I can pass along to my clients too. So thank you all so much for letting me be on here. But yeah, her advice was just spot on. It was great. Great. Well, remind our audiences who might not have heard that episode what you asked my mom and what she said and what's happened. Okay.

My mom, for those of you who don't know, is a child psychologist, well, a psychologist for lots of ages, but also specializes in children. And, um, and my mom was a guest on our show when Christina was a call-in, uh, guest and, um, my mom gave her some advice. So go ahead, Christina. You know, what's funny, I'm going to change my name on here to Chrissy because I just go by Chrissy and my full name, I use it for court. I use Zoom for court. I'm sorry. Let me. No, it's fine. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Chrissy.

Okay. Chrissy, go ahead. I just wanted an extra Oprah voice, but no. Your mom was talking about specifically her book, The Falling Downtime. Yes. And, you Yes. About divorce. The Falling Downtime, by the way, is available on Amazon. It's very, very helpful for guiding a young child through your divorce and helping them explain what's going on. Sorry, Chrissy, go ahead. No, that's all right. And I think it's really important because I'm also a divorce attorney. So I think that was kind of my,

my angle I use to try to get Joelle's interest. I said, you know, I'm a diverse attorney. I'm also going through my own divorce. I have kids. It's rough. COVID was rough. A lot of people were, you know, struggling in their relationships and things like that. Did COVID increase your clientele yes yeah hey you know the only the only one of the only businesses that did really well divorce attorneys yeah i got i got a new job and everything i'm at a bigger firm i mean it's like crazy like i got a raise she goes she goes i got a. I got a line out the door. Yeah. But you know, with that comes a lot of people who come in and there were people for a while I was turning away. I was saying, you know what? It's COVID quarrels. It's just fighting because you're in together. But let's be honest. There are some lines that you just can't cross. And that's, that's kind of what happens to some people. This is a great TV show, by the way. Joelle, this is one you should pitch. She's a divorce attorney going through her own

divorce. Yes. Joelle can pitch the shit out of this. Didn't CBS have a show called The Good Wife that is similar to that? That's politics. That was a political show. First of of all don't fuck up joelle's

fucking money train okay first off first off watch your tone i'm sorry but joelle and chrissy i can i can already see joelle and chrissy pitching this to abc go ahead sorry chrissy go ahead no that's all right so um it the advice that your mom gave me was, you know, when my kids are crying for dad, that happens because their dad's a good dad. He loves them. They love him. I'm like, I'm lucky. That's good. When they are in that situation and I want to be like, well, what's wrong? You know, tell me everything. She said it's not about that. It's about being there for them when they're sad. It's, you know, it's really none of my business, first of all, unless there's something bad going on and don't assume there's something bad going on. And there's, you know, if they're missing their dad,

nothing bad is going on at dad's house. They like dad's house because he doesn't have the bedtime that I have, you know, there's a difference. It's not, one's not better. One's not worse. And she really put it in perspective for me that kids just need to have someone who's there for them when they're upset. It doesn't matter why they're upset. And, you know, it doesn't matter whether you ask them directly. What is you know, what's the problem? Or if you ask them more generally, are you OK? Just that you're there. And I thought that was so comforting. And so I do, I have a copy of The Falling Down Time. I love it. Oh, great. For my clients. And I, you know, share. Oh my God, Chrissy, if you had a Zoom coffee table in your waiting room, you could just display them on there. I know that's, well, and I tell them about it. I'll sell it more this way, but I'll just send them the link. But you you found that it's been helpful to clients that you have? Yes, because people need that perspective when they're going through a divorce. They need to

realize that whether or not you had a bad breakup or just you fell out of love, your kid is going to go through something that was no fault of their own at all. And, you know, they need to understand that there's something that your children are going to be dealing with, you know, and, and you are partially responsible. I'm dealing with it still at 46 years old. I just drove through my hometown yesterday and it was very emotional because my parents, you know, when I was a young child, they went through a divorce it was very emotional because my parents you know when i was a young child they went through a divorce that was very hard for me and it's just amazing that it's still emotional as i'm driving these streets uh this many years later and i was about eight years old when they got divorced yeah so it's time prime age to remember it too when you're yeah you're not so

young that you don't remember. You know what? I'm going to be honest with you guys. You guys have convinced me. I'm going to do it. Divorce Casey? I'm going to do it right now. Stop it.

What the hell? No, I don't like any of this. No, no, no. Is it because of the guy? The way you guys have talked about this and how you've glorified it. I am down. I am down. I think my kids will be fine. I am aware of this now. How many dollars do you spend on your attorney?

I have to tell you. Donald's been down the road, by the way. He's joking. Well, Chrissy, I'm going to call you because you will do it pro bono because we put you on the show twice and promoted you. And the line's out the door.

So. I want to represent Casey and get some of that Donald face on my face. Donald's broke, man. Donald's living off of Casey, y'all. Don't get it twisted. Don't get it twisted. I was going to say one of the other funny things that Joelle and I realized was I've written into this show a couple of times now. And back when,

when things were good with the previous administration, my ex, that's what I call him. Oh, I thought you were talking about the previous administration. I was about to hang up on you. All right, go ahead. No, things were good with my ex. I don't call him names. That's why we call him the previous administration. Oh, that's good. By the way, you're giving a good jokey point is that one thing that you're doing is not talking shit about your ex in front of your kids, which I think is, I don't know much about divorce.

My parents were really good about that. I know that they couldn't stand each other at the end, but my mom knew my dad was a good dad and she did a very good job of not talking shit about him. And he never said a negative word about her, um, to us. I'm glad to hear it. Cause that's really important to me. And, um, one thing, it's hard, it's very hard because, you know, well, that's why I go to therapy. I talk, whatever I need to talk about that with her. And then I don't have to bother my friends or my family with it either. You know, and so but the funny thing is my ex, my kid's dad, he is Mexican-American. He is very proud of his culture and heritage.

And I'm white, so I don't know a lot of those things. I try to learn some Spanish. But one thing that we both really loved was oh my god this would be a great time to pay that music you guys said you like the the spanish music reggaeton reggaeton it is uh it's just so funny when you have something that you like and that your ex likes, too. The thing that you and your ex, after everything fell apart, the one thing that you still connected on was Shea Serrano. Yeah.

So one, maybe that and Hamilton. They're equal. That and Hamilton? Yeah. Wow. Wow, Shea. Look at that. The marriage is hanging on by a thread.

The marriage is hanging on by the fingernails. And the fingernails are you. It's me and Lin-Manuel. The Latinos are holding it together. Yeah, but you know, it's like you like what you like. I don't throw out all that. There's always good memories. Well, listen, when you guys are in a place where you can chat again, and you're, I mean, I know you're talking about the kids, but when you're in a better place and there's been more

healing, you could say, hey, do you want to get together and just chat about Shea Serrano? Exactly. Well, I could say, did you see what Shea tweeted? You know, because we need to make that small talk again. Right, I could say, did you see what Shay tweeted? You know, cause we need to make that small talk again. Right. Small talk. Chrissy, I recall you were just dipping your toe into the dating waters last time. How has that been going? How about, does this answer your question? I just held up a tiki necklace, everybody. So that means somebody else has the other tiki necklace.

Yes. Oh my goodness. You'll never guess has the other Tiki necklace. Yes. Oh, my goodness. You'll never guess where the other one is. It's in this very small town called Gargrave, England. Oh, wow. And this guy. You're an Anglophile. I know the type.

You do. You do. You know what I'm talking about. It's so lovely. They drink tea. So how did you meet um this fella well i have to say thank you because you fixed my life like really fixed it because you're welcome chrissy you're welcome you're welcome he heard me on the podcast he heard

you on the podcast that's incredible and he tracked you down he slid it to my DMs. Oh my god! Incredible. Wow. He was a gentleman, obviously. He was such a gentleman and he's so cute and he's so sweet. He sent me this big, look at this, birthday card. Oh my goodness. You guys,

I'm getting emotional. We brought a couple together. Oh my god, if you get married, can we be live on our show? Yes. Joelle, she said yes. Don't rush, Chrissy. There's no rush. I know.

That's what everyone's telling me. But if you can do it before we end season nine of the show, it would be great. It would be a great season nine finale. What do Wisemen say? Chr it. What do Wiseman say? Chrissy, what do Wiseman say? Only fools rush in. That's right. You know what?

Martin and I knew Donald would be the more voice of reason in this. Yes. Well, Donald's been married. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I said you've been married before. I know where you're going with this. No, you're more prudent.

You know not to rush in. There's nothing prudent about me. I ain't no prude. I give it up every time. Every time she asks for it, I give it up. Oh, whoa. No, you're good. This is my son Camerino.

I guess Netflix ran. Handsome. Vivo is over. Okay. You know Vivo is over. Okay. You know Vivo, right? That movie? Yeah. I know Vivo.

It's so good. Do you want to restart it so we can continue talking about your love life? Yeah. Do you want to go watch it again? Yes. It was so good, Vivo. Yes. Go down there.

I haven't seen Vivo, Donald. Have you? I've not seen Vivo. Is it good? It's so good. I haven't seen Vivo, Donald, have you? I've not seen Vivo. Is it good? It's so good. I'm putting it back on, okay? I am so excited that we did this, Donald. Wait, just wait a second.

It's on downstairs. I turned it on again. See? Do you hear it? Oh, he ran out. That movie must be good. That must be the best movie. I'm going to watch that tonight.

Joelle, have you watched that movie? Is it like WALL-E? I have not yet. Bebo. I love Bebo. That is good. Well, that was the best ad for that movie because that kid ran out of the room. He loves it.

I love it, too. It's so good. Now, wait. I'm just so proud of us, Donald. We created a new romance. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Humble. Be humble. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Humble. Be humble.

Okay. Oh, you should be very proud. This guy has been a lifelong scrub stand like me. That's great. We've both been listening. And he's a gentleman. He treats you with respect. Have you guys with COVID going on?

Have you guys, has he made a trip to wherever you are? Or have you made a trip to wherever he is? I am going in two three weeks oh my god wow and he he can't come here he was let me ask you a question he can't get in the country with him are you staying with him or are you staying by yourself are you staying in a hotel well here's the lucky thing i have a good question i have a cousin who lives in london oh good good okay good i have a get out of jail free car you know i can if if he turns out to be some crazy guy who just has a fetish and like you know whatever

but he's not he's i'm gonna stay with him as much as i can because right well yeah but you do want to you do want to put your bags down in your cousin's house and make sure that you got your cousin with you well she's great and she and I are good friends. We lived together for a little bit once, so, I mean, I'm close with her. Okay. If it goes well. And make sure she brings the mace and taser, just in case.

I don't think they can have a taser in London. Well, bring the mace, just in case y'all got to run. Bring mace. But don't bring mace in the plan. No disrespect. No disrespect to your new man. No disrespect, bro. No disrespect. No, all. No disrespect, bro. No disrespect.

What's going to happen is you're going to meet at a bar or a restaurant. No, she's going to stay with him. She's going to stay with him. She said she's staying with him. Look at her nodding. No, she's staying with the cousin. She's staying with him and her cousin's the backup just in case you ask her.

I feel like I have to say what I would say to my parents. Yeah, go ahead. I'm staying with my cousin. You're staying with your cousin? Yeah. She is. She winked. She faked it.

She's full of shit. Well, I don't know. She's going to get some. It's time, Chrissy. Go get you some, Chrissy. Go for yours. I'm on that boat with you. I'm on that boat with you to London.

I'm living vicariously through you. All right, listen, Donald, calm down. Just kidding. Calm down. You're more excited. You're more giddy about this than Chrissy is. New love, baby. It's fun.

New love is amazing. Chrissy, I have a question. How often do you guys FaceTime? Is it like an everyday thing? Zach? We talk every day, and we are on Zoom dates once or twice a week. Wow, that's great. We sit down and talk, and you have dinner.

That's so sweet. We baked muffins once. Oh, my God. Joelle, they baked muffins. We had a dance party. What? Yeah. We had a dance party.

This is so cute. What kind of music does he like? What kind of music does he like? Cocktail. Okay, he likes all the good stuff. He likes all the kind of stuff that you guys like. We have a playlist. Reggaeton?

We'll get some. If he don't like no Bad Bunny, we got a problem. El culo fenomenal. Yeah. That's the only Spanish Donald knows. Shay, did I not tell you when I was a waiter, my best friends were the busboys, and they were all Mexican fellows who didn't speak much English, and I didn't speak any Spanish.

And so all I would pick up was the shit that they would yell at me, and they would be like, rápido, pinche wey. Pinche calaca wey. They would call them calaca. Calaca wey. Calaca is skeleton, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Calaca wey. And then I had a bad posture. I'd be sitting there, and they'd go, Pinche cameo, rápido. Cameo is camel. They'd be like, come on, camel, hurry up. How mean. Pinche cameo.

Kalaka-we. That means they liked him. I like that they called you fucking skeleton men. They called you the fucking skeleton men. Pinche cameo. Kalaka-we. We loved each other We were cracking up

We would It was It was one of those Awesome relationships Where we didn't Really understand each other But we fucking Laughed harder than

Ever You know what I mean When you work in a restaurant You know like When the shit hits the fan And you're just like Buried and like You just had to laugh

At a certain point And this was like a You know I've told this story A lot of times This fancy and like you just have to laugh at a certain point and this was like a fan you know i've told the story of zillow times those fancy restaurant everything you just have a saturday night at prime time you just have to laugh like all right every table is gonna be mad because xyz just happened you just have to giggle and these guys would just be like i don't know shay i'm gonna let you say if this is true or not but that the Hispanic culture is busting people's chops a lot right I mean you're always trying to kind of poke fun at people poke fun at each other I don't know if that's and that's such a generalization my ex's family was

that way well I think that's American culture too because that's all Donald and I do too oh yeah that's true that's true yeah I think it was definitely those words that would come in they I can't remember anything they used to call me but oh you have a little wilder that's wilder all right we should probably begin to end the show um right because it's gone all along yes do you have a fix your life do you have another fix your life I don't think she needs another fix your life what else do you need we fixed her life yeah go? I don't think she needs another fix your life. What else do you need from us, Chrissy? We fixed her life. Yeah, go ahead. I just think, you know, this relationship, it's so far-fetched. I get it, you know.

But it is for real. It's bringing you joy. You're lit up. Nobody thinks it's far-fetched, Chrissy. Nobody thinks it's far-fetched. The fact that you found love the way you found love is a great thing. And the fact that we're a part of it makes us feel great about you finding love. We're going to officiate the wedding. We're just trying to make sure that you protect yourself before you riggedy wreck yourself.

Because you don't know. I mean, granted, you guys have a lot of conversation online and stuff like that. Yeah. We do. We just had so much in common with how much we love the show and all the music from it. That's great. And listen, all I want to say is, Chrissy, I really remember this. You're lit up.

You're really lit up. And that's all we want. We want to bring joy to people. We're very happy for that. I'm very happy that I was a part of your love connection. We're so happy that you found someone. And who knows? This could be something serious or not.

Who cares? The fact is that you're putting yourself out there, and you did it all during COVID, and that's great. And we're very, very happy for you. Oh, thank you so much. It's been really cool. I said when I was on the first time, it's like, oh, it's a dream come true. But then, actually, this guy, he's a dream come true. He's just such a sweetheart. And it's just so funny you know that that we met this way and uh it's not like everybody it's not like i had more than one person who was like you know looking at me that way it was just

more this guy he was like i really just thought you had a very interesting story and then the more we got to know each other it was just kind of meant to be this is great listen if it does work out I'm just saying if it does who knows it would be a really great podcast finale for us if Donald and I could marry

now you have time because that would be after season 9 and we're only on 5 so that's 4 more that's probably about two years from now. So if he doesn't shit and get off the pot in two years. I never did the math. We did this over a year. It would probably be two years.

Yeah. See how it goes. Even if we could, maybe we'll just do your commitment ceremony. Or you know what we'll do? Donald and I just won't ever get licensed and so it'll be total bullshit. It'll just be for everyone to enjoy

but it won't really mean anything. Like a practice run. Yeah, we'll do the practice run. We'll do the audition for you. If you were involved in any way, shape, or form, even if you just sent us some kombucha to the wedding, I think that would be...

Don't get ahead of yourself. You guys are just amazing. us some kombucha to the wedding i will we will don't get ahead of yourself don't get it and i love it and i i'm so happy all right chris you you thank you so much thank you and please let joelle um know how how it goes in in england uh you're gonna love it over there i i town i too have had a lot of fun in that i was gonna say to say I had so much I wanted to ask about that but I'm sure you know Flo I'm not sure where she's from originally in England Oxford I don't think you'll be spending much time up there

although I could give you lots of recommendations if you were but anyway you have a great time and please keep us abreast of your situation I will and tell your mother I said hello and thank you Please keep us abreast of your situation. I will.

And tell your mother I said hello and thank you. Yes. And the book is called The Falling Down Time. For those of you who are going through a similar divorce when you need to explain what's happening to young children, you're not only hearing it from a woman who went through a divorce with children, but she's a divorce attorney and she recommends it. So I know I'm biased, but take Chrissy's word for it. My mom's book, The Falling Down Time, written by a child psychologist is on Amazon. Chrissy, anything you want to say before you go? I got one more thing, you know, shout out to Martin, my love. And he is, he's also a child of divorce. And I think if if he and someone like zach can can grow up to be these happy healthy well-adjusted successful men that's all i can pray for for my kids and so

that's the kind of person i want them to be so i'm going to try to she said i was well adjusted she don't know she don't know you very well bro she doesn't know you too well just take let me get my fucking compliment okay take. Okay, take it. In that moment, I was well-adjusted, and then it went away. Okay, well, get back adjusted. I am. I'm going to the chiropractor next week. All right, Chrissy, thank you so much.

We appreciate you. Thank you all. Thank you, Shay. Bye, Chrissy. Later, later. Take care. How about that, Shay? Shay.

You know, I would say the same thing to you, buddy. I would say the same thing to you if you were going someplace. I would say the same thing to all of you if you were going someplace to meet somebody that you only met online. I would warn all of you that. Of course. You know, to have a backup plan. I don't want anyone out there to think. To be honest, I'm not.

I don't want anyone out there to think because she's going over there that she needs to protect herself. By the way, I think what she should do. She's not going to listen to me because she made a joke that we were like being her parents, is she should go plant down at the cousin's house and then go meet him at a restaurant like she's going on a normal date. And if they click, like they're obviously going to click because

they're FaceTiming all the time and probably having, I imagine, internet sex, then just go home with them like you would on a normal date that goes well. Go put your bags down at your cousin's house. That's what I would do. I agree with that 100%. But she's a grown-ass woman and she'll do what she wants.

It's her life. Alright, well that was the show. Check out all of Shay's writing on halfwaybooks.com. Shay, you're the best guest we ever have on. I'll take it. It's a have on. I'll take it. It's a lie, but I'll take it. I noticed your blood in, blood out

poster that you got up on the back. I'll tell you something right now. I got some poison for the spider, but for tomorrow. That right there is one of my favorite movies. Blood in, blood out. It's one of my favorite movies. It looks like Karate Kid.

No, it's not like Karate Kid. It's my all-time favorite movie. It's about these three cousins, right? They're three cousins, and one of them's an artist. One of them grows to become a cop, and the one that's the white one, the one that has so much to prove,

becomes a fucking felon, dude, like a fucking bad guy in the prison system. And it's such a fucking great movie. Wasn't it originally called Bound by Honor or something like that? Then they changed it to Blood In, Blood Out? How do you know that is correct? prison system and it's such a fucking great movie it was wasn't it originally called bound by honor or something like that then they changed it to blood in blood out you know that is correct this is because this is one of the best this is one of the dopest movies this would introduce everybody

to benjamin bratt too benjamin bratt's in this this is one of his first movies before before he did law and order the venn diagram continues to overlap i love i love this so much you have nobody else ever knows about this movie. Donald knows the alternate fucking title. Dude, that was one of my jams, man. We used to watch that shit back in the day. Me and my buddy Sean Ellis, we used to watch that back in the day because it was so dope. And mostly because of Ben Bratt, because he was so cool in this shit. You know what I mean?

Super fucking cool. Dude, he plays an undercover cop who kind of forgets about where he comes from. And the dude from Fame, Jesse from Fame, fucking reminds him of where he's from. Dude, it's one of the dopest movies, man. Make sure they never exchange phone numbers, please. Because I really have a pang of jealousy in my heart. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in.

We love you very much. Be kind out there. It's right, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. We love you very much. Be kind out there. It's rough, man. Wow. The earth is having a, the powers that be and the earth, mother earth are upset.

Let's just leave it at that and be nice to each other. Be kind, be loving. It's so easy to be nice and it's so easy to be kind. It's one of the easiest things to do. Imagine, think about all the energy you have to muster up to be a dick and to be mad

and to be angry. It could be as small as holding the door for someone or as tiny as not writing the hateful tweet to someone that you were about to write. Just be kind. Let's, this is rough out there for people and people are, are, are struggling and there's no reason

for you not to be loving and kind. As the truck that passed me said on the back of it, be kind, be careful, be yourself. Shay, is there anything you want to say? No, that's a perfect message to end on. I'm in total agreement. Don't send me mean tweets.

Alright, Tom, count us out, baby. 5, 6, right, Donald. Count us out, baby. Five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate I said here's some stories That we all should know

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