Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 612: My Fishbowl
Episode Date: May 17, 2022On this week's episode, the doctors come together to try and save Private Dancer from depression. In the real world, Zach is back home and Donald got some fun new animation toys! See omnystudio.c...om/listener for privacy information.
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There he is.
There he is, everybody.
I am following my dreams as an animator.
I said, fuck it.
I'm going to do it.
Go ahead.
What did you have to do?
So I enrolled in Aardman's Academy.
And it's a, I don't know if you, our listeners are very familiar with like Wallace and Gromit.
Yeah, I am.
Or like Chicken Run.
Yeah.
Or Shaun the Sheep.
They have an animation academy.
the sheep uh they have a animation academy and in that academy you you know i've been doing stop motion for a while but they have courses and they have two stop motion courses they have a fabrication
course they have a uh course on how to get into the industry and stuff like that uh and really
what you're doing is you're learning how to network with all of these great animators or up-and-coming animators
and people in the Aardman community.
And so I enrolled in their course, and we are now in week two.
It's in person or online?
It's online.
It used to be in person, but they offered it online.
It's amazing.
Right before the pandemic happened, very similar to how we were coming out
uh they had already put in motion uh their plan for online classes and the pandemic happened and
they were able to jump right into uh now are you like uh you must have signed up for an intermediate
level because you're not a beginner no i took the beginner
course to be honest with you because it it also teaches how to work with like ball and sock and
armatures which i'm very familiar with also i'm like i'm pretty versed in stop motion animation
right now but it's always good to go back to the basics especially when you're learning uh you know
from new people and so i'm i'm really excited about it it's i've already uh
learned things that i didn't know before and so it's pretty cool congratulations
i'm very impressed that you're taking a class i would love to and so the reason why i was like
two minutes late five minutes late today was because i had somebody deliver a down shooter
table which is a table where you can mount the camera on top and shoot
down oh yeah did you mention when the person delivered it did you mention this whether it'd
be taking a poop whether it'd be a finger whether it'd be a tongue whether it you know everybody
likes a little ass play i'm gonna tell you something right now i'm gonna tell you something
right now he was in that he. He was in my animation room.
And you guys know about the animation room.
Whenever you bring men to your animation room, shit goes down.
It gets dangerous.
This time it was my own version of ass play.
He was there like, look, we have the podcast coming.
And he's there. And he's ready to leave, but he hasn't left yet.
And I'm sitting there, and I got to take a shit.
And I'm like, oh, I don't want to just kick him out and be like, I got to take a shit.
You got to go.
You know what I mean?
I want to be a little bit more tactful than that.
You know what I mean?
And so I'm like, oh, yeah, man, you know.
And it's about to touch cloth, right? You know what I mean and so i'm like oh yeah man you know and it's like it's it's about to touch cloth right you know what i mean oh no and so i'm like oh shit yeah and i said well and
my wife taught me something that is the best thing and it works for everything listen whenever you're
on the phone with someone yeah whenever you're on a facetime anytime you want to get out of it. Yeah. Welp, let me let you go.
Let me let you go.
Always works.
Okay.
Always works.
Okay.
Thank you, Casey.
Always works.
Okay, let me let you go.
It's not I got to go.
It's let me let you.
Thank you for hearing everything I've had to say.
Yes.
Let me let you go on with your life now.
I've been holding you up.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the greatest way to get out of everything.
Let me let you go.
Very smart.
I said to him, let me let you go.
And he was like, great, thank you.
You know what I mean?
And then you took your dookie.
And then I took my dookie.
Well, it's interesting because one of the themes of this episode
is that you have to fart.
Big time.
Turk has to fart. And you have to fart fart big time turk has to part and you which is ridiculous like why not just go in the bathroom of the of the hospital room and fart
like why why why won't judy let you carlo let you fart why would he even hold it listen this is what
i've learned a long time ago yeah a fart bubble to the heart piece could kill your ass real quick.
Yeah, that's from a fake doctor, guys.
So listen to that.
Don't hold it in.
It's not good for you.
The last thing you want.
The last thing you want is a stinky fart bubble to travel all the way through your system to your heart.
But you don't know if the fart is going to be like a non-smelling one or a really horrible one.
You know.
Like if you ever fart in an elevator and then like you're alone and then someone gets on and you're like, fuck.
It reeks in here now.
I farted before and it hasn't reeked.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Everybody does that in like, where do people fart?
Oh, airplane.
Everyone's always farting on the airplane.
Yeah.
People just let it fly.
Just let it go.
Dude, and you never know who did it either, because it's just circulating air.
It's just like, oh, that could have came from back there.
There's something about an airplane that just like all fart etiquette is off.
Yeah.
Just like there's something about a pool that all piss etiquette is off.
Whoa.
Wait, no. You don't pee in a pool, do you? I'm wrong about that? No, I don's something about a pool that all piss etiquette is off. Whoa. Wait, no.
You don't pee in a pool, do you?
I'm wrong about that?
No, I don't pee in a pool.
But when you were a kid, I don't pee in a pool.
You do.
I didn't say I did.
I'm just wondering if you pee in my pool.
I do not pee in your pool, but I bet you my kids do.
Well, they told Josh that.
Remember when Josh came over and he said-
That wasn't my kids.
Yeah, it was. was no it wasn't
that was dude's kids oh that was dude's kids that's right josh is like they're like get in
mr mr josh and he goes i'm not getting in that pool you guys peed in there they go not in the hot Amazing.
We got to announce right off the bat, because we haven't yet,
that we're going to Austin, Texas to do the Austin, Texas,
Austin TV Festival.
Yes.
We are doing a Scrubs reunion panel.
This has been in the works for so long.
Since before COVID.
Yeah. And it's hard when someone asks you to do something so far out and they always asked us to do it like six months
in advance and we were all like i don't know where the hell i'm going to be in june but um
it's happening june 2nd through the 5th um if you are in austin tex near Austin, Texas, you should come
because on Sunday,
I believe, right, Donald?
Here's the schedule.
Sunday at 10 a.m.
is when we are reuniting
the Scrubs cast
at the Paramount Theater
in Austin.
We're going to get some good barbecue
that day, probably.
Get up Terry Blacks.
I think I'm going to go a day early, Donald.
You might want to join me because there's no reason to go down there for one day.
Agreed.
I mean, you know, it's still Texas.
If your wife will allow you.
If your wife will allow you.
No, Austin's amazing, I'm told.
Texas is amazing.
I don't think I've ever been to Austin.
Oh, you're going to love it. Dude, I've been to Austin with think I've ever been to Austin oh you're gonna love it so
but not dude I've been to Austin with you you've been to Austin man when was I in Austin we went
for some scrub shit we even ate barbecue in Austin we went for fucking wish I was here okay maybe for
wish I was here all right but the point is I'm going Donald are going and if you want to see
an in-person scrubs reunion I know that Sarah's going
I know that Bill Lawrence, the creator, is going
I'm going
I'm sure Johnny C's going
Do you know if Judy's going?
I hope she's going
I believe she said she was
I don't know if Neil's going
I don't know the extent
You could probably find out who's going to be there on the ATX
Oh, let me give you the website
Like a good host of a podcast
There you go It's ATX. Oh, let me give you the website, like a good host of a podcast. There you go.
It's ATXFestival.com.
And go there, and you can come see us, because we're never all together, ever.
I was just with William Lawrence in Miami.
Now I'm home in LA.
Donald, didn't you notice I'm home in LA?
I'm very happy you're home in LA. I missed you.
I really did miss you.
Did you get a chance to check out missed you. I really did miss you. Did you
get a chance to check out
Doctor Strange, though, is the question. That's
what everybody wants to know. No, but I will
tell you on the airplane last night
I did begin to watch
the latest Spider-Man.
And I found it very entertaining.
It's very good. It is. Very good.
It's probably their best movie. That one
Endgame, Infinity War, Black Panther, Captain America.
Oh, really?
You're saying it's up there with the top Marvel movies?
Spider-Man?
Yes, for sure.
So there's a lot of arguments out there right now.
This Strange has kind of done what freaking The Last Jedi has done to, what The Last Jedi did to the Star Wars universe,
I'm finding strange is doing to the Marvel universe.
It's causing a rift.
For those who've seen the movie,
they kind of understand what I'm talking about.
How appropriate.
It's causing a split right down the middle
in like a lot of people love it and some people hate it.
I will say this
if your argument is then you're you're not a real marvel fan if you don't like strange
then you have no argument i'm sorry that literally if you don't like multiverse of madness
if your argument is oh then you must not be a real marvel fan i'm sorry but that's the weakest argument you
could possibly make i'm just gonna it's not based on anything right it means absolutely nothing so
for those of you out there that are saying that eat a dick you sound like a moron all right so
that being said i won't be saying daniel what did you think you know what i'm kind of thankful that
when we were on the show last you guys were not huge fans of it because it lowered my expectations a little bit.
And I kind of went into it like being like, OK, maybe it's not so great.
And I think the campier, rainier elements of the movie really hit me in the right way.
I loved it. I really enjoyed it. I did like, hold on. it i did like hold on i do like the ramey
i do like the ramey aspect of it i'm not gonna i'm not gonna lie about that i think some of the
people that were brought in they missed on you know what i mean uh for certain parts of the movie
uh they could have gotten i mean it's it's dis. It's Marvel. They should have went bigger than that, man.
Let's not give anyone any spoilers.
I haven't spoiled anything.
Let's stop talking about Marvel because some people,
I don't know who, might find it boring as balls.
Donald, but let's get back to me.
I'm home.
Will you be spending time with me?
Will you find time for me me? Will you find time
for me?
I will definitely find time with you.
I'm going to try and crash your tennis lesson
maybe. I don't take lessons.
Now I just play with the G, with the
OGs. I'm on that
OG level now. You're going to have to catch up, bro.
Do you ever go Tuesday
or Thursday? That's Casey's.
I used to go to it.
When I was getting back into tennis, that's where I go.
Pete does that a lot, actually.
Pete does it because Pete plays a lot of tennis, man,
and he can play against people that are better than him,
and he can play against people that are a lot worse than him.
I find it very difficult to play against people
that aren't close to my level or, you know what I mean, or better.
If you can't play tennis, I have a hard time playing tennis.
That's just me.
Well, I will tell you that I will be going.
I'm going to get back into tennis because I need it.
Oh, yeah.
And it's the summertime.
But Donald, I'm really excited get back into tennis because I need it. Oh, yeah. And it's the summertime.
But, Donald, I'm really excited to be with you.
Joelle, Dale, I'm glad to be back in Los Angeles where it's beautiful.
Let's get into the show.
Donald, count us in.
Five, six, seven, eight. Here's some stories about a show we made
About a bunch of docs and nurses And a Canada who loved me
I said here's a story
That we all should know
So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald
What a very bizarre episode of Scrubs.
It all pretty much, you know, they have these shows we've told you before
where the showrunner might be trying to save a little money.
They call them like stuck in a or a bottle episode.
This is literally called My Fish Bowl.
And I sense that Bill-
Well, it takes place on one floor.
It takes place really in one room.
Right.
For the most part.
But it does have that flashback that I told you was one of the funniest things in Scrubs history, where we both tell a different version of the story.
I didn't know that this, I did not know that this story was going to make its way back around, you know, so at first I was like.
We'll get to it.
We'll get to it.
But I'm going to say at first I was like to it we'll get to it but i'm gonna say at
first i was like didn't we did we watch this episode already it caught me no because jd's
obsessed about the fact that there were no water well he knows now your lie doesn't hold up but uh
it seems to me that uh whenever you see this uh fellow listeners an episode of your of your favorite show that seems to be taking place in
one room or one space uh it often is um the showrunner saving a little bit of money and time
to either they're over budget or they're saving up to do a more expensive episode or it's just
kind of an old trick so we are all pretty much stuck in private dancers' room the whole time.
Do you recall Mikey Weston being in this many episodes of Scrubs?
I swore it was only like one, maybe two.
This is like four or five now.
What am I making out with my gal at the end?
What is that about?
Well, you know, Elliot's a gem for that also, though.
We'll get to that too. Okay. We'll get to that, too.
Okay, we'll get to that, too.
We're getting ahead of ourselves.
She gave him a reason to live.
It was written by Kevin Beagle, directed by Chris Koch, one of our favorite directors.
Great man.
Great man.
Great man.
Great person.
Great director.
Yes.
A good filmmaker.
A nice.
Great filmmaker, yes.
A mensch, as we say.
Yes.
I love Chris Koch.
Every time I see him, he also likes camera toys like me,
so we get to talk about cameras and camera gear,
and he's always got the latest thing.
We were at a party once, my wife and I,
and Chris was there, and I forgot his wife's name,
and I was like, dude, I'm so sorry, what's your wife's name?
And he was like, it's Jill. And I was like, oh, thank you what's your wife's name and he was like it's jill
and i was like oh thank you like so jill and she wouldn't answer me and he goes i'm just
fucking with you that's not her name that's so i was like you dick that's mean but funny
yeah but funny and to this day don't know his wife's name um so speaking of not funny, Carla is not funny in this episode.
That's one of the main threads of this episode.
Now, I believe Scrubs lore is that Judy always wanted more jokes.
Yes.
And Bill was frustrated because not that he didn't think that Judy was funny,
but he said that's not really your character on the show.
You're the heart.
You're the warmth.
You're the maternal figure.
You're a very valuable part of the show that isn't the comedy.
Of course, occasionally you'll have a joke, but that's not really your place.
And then Judy didn't like that.
But that's not really your place.
And then Judy didn't like that.
And as the story goes, I don't even know if it's true.
We'll have to ask Bill one day when he comes back.
But as the story goes, he got sick and tired of Judy asking to be funnier. So he made a whole episode where-
About Carla not being funny.
About Carla not being funny about carla not being funny oh boy that's i mean that
was but that was bill's way of putting things to bed also you know what i mean like i think he was
just i don't know if it's his if it's as malicious as that which is funny and classic bill but um
but it does seem like someone going you know what
we're gonna write a whole fucking episode about how carla's not funny
and she's not funny i mean judy's funny judy's very funny hold on now
i mean for your clarity's sake jud Judy's very funny and an incredible actress.
And Carla would occasionally have jokes.
But again, that was not her place in the show.
Right.
She was the heart.
She was the heart.
So what do we got here?
So let's start from the beginning.
Dr. Kelso partied on segregated beaches and was all right with it.
That shit had me rolling where Laverne's like, there we go right there in the picture back there.
And she points to us, doesn't that make you feel bad?
And he's like, damn, I look good.
It was the worst Photoshop job ever, by the way.
The fact that the black people are on the beach looking at all the white people have fun, just standing there watching them.
Like, shit, I wish I could jump in that water.
Like, they have on clothes and everything.
Why are they?
It's weird that they're at the beach, but they're like behind like a rope line.
And then Kelso's got like abs.
That's fucked up.
That's the fucked up shit.
They make it seem like, oh, the white side of things.
It's so much better over here.
It's so much better that we're going to put the velvet rope up,
and you guys can look over the velvet rope.
You ever be at a club and look over the velvet rope?
Ain't shit going on over there that's anything popping
compared to what's going on in the normal club.
I saw LeBron in person, Donald.
Where did you see LeBron?
I went to the F1 races, by the way, which was really cool.
You met LeBron before.
I've never met LeBron, have I?
Yeah, you have.
Yeah, you have.
Anyway, I went to a nightclub.
I really didn't want to go to a nightclub, but Miami has a lot of nightclubs.
I told you.
I told you.
I hated it.
You loved it.
I hated it.
You loved it.
You loved it.
You're telling me a story about how you met LeBron at a nightclub.
I didn't meet LeBron.
I saw LeBron enter with a very, very large entourage.
I mean, it might as well have been like a whole bus full of people.
But I did see him in person with sunglasses on in the club.
How do we feel about that?
That's weird.
Anyway.
That's weird.
He must have been stoned to the bone.
How do you see?
He got a bunch of people guiding him.
He's not even walking. He's just fucking of people guiding him. He's not even walking.
He's just fucking moving.
I know.
He's like, where are we going?
Yeah, just move with the posse.
No, I did go.
I don't like it.
I don't.
It's so loud.
And I'm just grown out of it, I think.
It's not for me.
I don't know anymore.
I haven't been to a club in so long.
I do know this.
If I go to a club, I want to bring my wife because she's a lot of fun at the club.
I want to see her back in her old element.
Maybe if I was in a booth with you and Casey,
maybe I'd be laughing and having fun.
I was with nice people,
friends, but I was just like, it's so loud.
You can't talk to anybody.
Were you with Tarsus and Bill?
No. I was with
Andrew Watt, who's
a famous music producer. I was with Charlotte Watt, who's a famous music producer.
And I was with Charlotte.
But anyway, I thought you'd be excited by the fact
that I saw LeBron in person.
He's tall.
He is tall.
He is very tall.
But he wore sunglasses in the club.
And I don't know how I feel about that.
I don't know how I feel about that, too.
That was my thing.
One of my times seeing Jay-Z in the club,
he had sunglasses on.
And I was like, dude, please either be st stoned so stoned that your eyes are so red i just don't know how people see
like come on don't be that guy like the guy that wears the sunglasses inside of a room like it's
when it's come on man but that one was cool we got to see that um bill got us tickets to be in
the ferrari uh tent. And that was cool.
And the funny thing is, though, your corner, they go by so fast.
No, no, no, no.
That you end up turning to watch the thing on TV because you can't really see much there.
It's like the puck at a hockey game.
Kind of.
That's a good analogy.
You it's cool when they go by and you can't believe how fast they go by. But it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then like you have no sense of the race unless you turn to the TV. So people have paid all this money to be there, but they're all gathered around the TV.
to watch it in freaking like a, what's it called,
a tracking shot instead of the- Yeah, all the different angles,
and they have the angles inside the car,
and you can see who's in the lead.
But it was really cool.
It was a great life experience.
I don't need to do it again, but it was cool.
I take that back.
Hockey is better to watch in person than it is on television.
Sorry.
Hockey is because you can see the puck in person.
On television, you can't see the puck that well.
In person, you see it all the
way. You see it the whole time.
I'm going to tell you, if you
ever get the opportunity to go to a hockey
game, any of our listeners out there, if you're
avid hockey fans, you already know.
If you've never been to a hockey game, like I
hadn't until I went to a New Jersey Devils
game, and they put me on the Jumbotron
by the way. Garden State,
shout out the Garden State. Yeah, the New Jersey Devils game. And they put me on the Jumbotron, by the way. Garden State, shout out the Garden State.
Yeah, the New Jersey Devils appreciate Donald Faison.
Thank you, New Jersey Devils.
Put me on the Jumbotron.
Anyway, I got to take the cast and crew of Emergence to a New Jersey Devils game.
And it was so much fun.
It's so much better when you get to go because you can see the puck.
And that's such a big deal i once um was inebriated as a as a child at a at a new jersey devils game
and i had to go to new jersey devils jail what what i need details wait hold on you were a child
that was we were teenagers we were i teenagers. I was probably 15, 16.
And we drank.
We were in the car in the parking lot pounding our Meister Brows.
Your Meister Brows.
Yeah, that was like the cheapest beer that we drank in Jersey.
And I remember we were like way up at the top, the cheapest tickets you can get.
And I was certainly, you know, I probably had two beers and was hammered or maybe three because I don't know, whatever I was drinking.
All I remember is this.
I went to go buy food and I clearly was stumbling because I went to pull my wallet out.
And this is – at the time, it was Brennan Burn Arena. I don't know what they call New Jersey Devil's Stadium now,
but Joel will look that up for us.
It's probably like cryptocurrenciescrashing.com.
You're happy you didn't buy crypto now, Donald.
I was never going to buy.
I don't even know what's going on with crypto, man.
I wouldn't pay attention to it.
It's like the Titanic hitting an iceberg.
It's bad.
So all those people who are mining all of that shit?
If you own crypto, you lost half your money this week.
Yeah.
The Prudential Center.
All right.
So listen, I'm at the Prudential Center.
New Jersey Devils, if you're listening, I'd like to buy this back and come back as a 47 year old adult who's allowed to drink alcohol
and not be put in new jersey devil's jail because what happened was i went i was going it's never
good when it starts let's see what had happened was what had happened was i went i was trying to
like go buy like a hot dog or something and my wallet fell on the ground no and so i go down
to get my wallet like on the ground and it was And so I go down to get my wallet, like, on the ground.
And it was out of a movie.
I saw, like, two pairs of boots.
Now, these security officers had clearly clocked a 15-year-old drunk kid
stumbling around, dropping his wallet on the ground.
And I tilted up, and they were like, you're coming with us.
And I was like, why?
What are you talking about?
You know?
Why am I going to come with you?
I'm going to get a hot dog.
I'm up in the seat.
I'm in seat quadruple Z.
Nobody's ever seen you drunk the way I've seen you drunk this is accurate
this is so accurate
I was trying to talk some sense into them
and they brought me
downstairs and there's a whole like holding pen
area
are there bars?
you know it's for like people getting fights
and people who whatever
they have an actual jail pen inside of the Prudential Center?
Yes.
I'm sure every arena does for someone who's drunk or gets in a fight or whatever.
Just to remind them.
They don't want to throw you just in some random room.
They got to have a bar.
No, it was not a room.
Just to remind you.
It was actually a jail.
It was a jail cell.
Just to remind your ass, yo.
This is where you're going next.
Get comfortable.
Get used to this look.
The worst part was I remember they were like, we have to call someone to come pick you up.
Call your brother.
And I was like, oh, no.
No, only my sister was around.
Shosh, yeah.
Call Shosh.
So I gave her my number.
I gave them her number.
And she couldn't.
She couldn't.
I forgot why she couldn't come.
But she totally screwed me over.
I could have avoided this. I could have avoided this.
I could have avoided this debacle.
So who'd you have to call?
Then it happened.
Through the bars.
I saw my mom.
Oh, no!
My mom, I was crying and everything.
My mom, because I was-
Get him out of there! Get my baby out of there! No, my mom wasn't crying. I was crying and everything. My mom, because I was- Get him out of there.
Get my baby out of there.
No, my mom wasn't crying.
I was crying.
I was like, it's a misunderstanding.
But I was all emotional because I was drunk.
Because you were drunk out of your mind.
I was a drunk kid.
Off of three beers.
And I was such a good kid.
My mom was so pissed off that she had to, on her weekend day,
drive to the Prudential Center and pick up her drunk kid in the drunk tank.
Oh, Zach.
But anyway, so Devils, will you have me back?
I promise to stay sober.
Hey, I know for a fact that not only will the New Jersey Devils have you back,
but they'll put you on the Jumbotron too.
Oh, I want to be on the Jumbotron.
And I want to be on the kiss cam with Donald.
I'm not going to kiss you.
Kiss him!
You wouldn't kiss me on the kiss cam?
Come on.
Your lips look really, like, chafey chapped.
That's not true.
A, that's not true.
I've been in Miami.
Maybe they're dry.
But I would moisturize them before we went to
the game i'll think about it if we got brought up on a kiss cam you wouldn't kiss me no yeah i
would be just for just just to fucking freak everybody out at this testosterone no if you
want to testosterone no if you want to freak these motherfuckers out we hold it
No, if you want to freak people out.
No, if you want to freak these motherfuckers out, we hold it.
It'll start from cheering to booing. To like, oh, oh, oh!
Mess.
All right, should we go to break?
When we come back, we promise we'll talk about the show.
We'll talk about the show.
We'll talk about it.
We will. We'll be right back.
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you.
Whether it's relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together.
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app. In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s
and try to understand what it taught us about the world and a woman's place in it.
Crying in public, two 20-something college women living in NYC
dive into growing up at a time when there was no distinction
between what's public and what's private.
Best of both worlds, a discussion on work-life balance,
career development, parenting, time management, productivity,
and making time for fun.
Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up
in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here,
but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover
what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
And we're back!
We're back!
I got all my sound effects back.
Wu-Tang forever.
Wu-Tang forever. I like that one.
I do like that one.
So when Carla's not, when we find out that Carla's not funny,
Cox explains every character in Scrubs history pretty much,
or at least our main characters.
Yes.
And why they're funny and what their purpose is on the show.
Yes.
He goes through us all.
And he explains to her, this isn't your lane.
Your lane is the one that takes care of everything.
You're the heart.
You're the glue.
You're the one that keeps us together.
Right.
And Carla can't hear that shit.
And she goes on a really bad joke spree pretty much yeah i liked when he was pointing out that
the janitor was weird the janitor says i made shoes for my rabbit and he holds them up and
they appear to be made out of rabbit i think there's a double joke there that they're they're shoes for a rabbit
but they're made out of rabbit they look like they were made out of rabbit right um what about
todd is smelling um the nurse's armpits wasn't that his girlfriend yes that was that's his actual
girlfriend yes but not now then i think they're still together he said they were still together the last time they were on the show.
I can't keep track of this relationship.
I thought it was on again, off again.
I don't know.
They're like Ross and Rachel, though, for real.
Yeah.
Well, anyway.
That woman whose armpits he's smelling is his girlfriend.
Anyway, Ted and the fucking blue ink was fucking hilarious.
That was funny.
Where he's like, am I really a sad sack?
Yeah.
And she goes, Ted, your pen's leaking.
And he goes, oh, and he takes his hand off his head
and he has the freaking thing on his head
and he looks at his hand and he goes, oh!
Everything involving Ted in this episode
is a physical comedy joke where something gets
sprayed all over his body.
I hit him with a watermelon seed, and it pops his milk.
Holy shit.
Fucking JD spits bullets, pretty much.
I think one of the first lines in the whole show is that JD's happiest moment
was winning the watermelon seed spitting contest at theater camp.
So we know that he does have a secret skill set.
But that's fucking beyond have a secret skill set. But that's beyond, that's fucking beyond Olympic level skill set.
I'll have you know, I checked Scrubs Wiki,
and it does say there's a, you can,
if you're one of these people that loves our fuck ups,
it says, what did it say?
When JD spits the watermelon seed to Turk,
it breaks Ted's milk,
but the can was already leaking before it hits.
Fucking scrubs wiki.
Asshole.
Trevor, sometime
I'm going to keep it 100 with you, Trevor.
Go ahead.
Snitches get stitches.
Why you don't tell us on that one?
Straight up, yo.
That's what I'm talking about.
Y'all can say what you want to say about
certain things, but the
fact, look, man, don't try and
make it so the illusion goes away.
Don't take away the illusion. You're like the guy
who tells people
how magic tricks are done.
Don't be that guy. Trevor.
Wiki.
Trevor Wiki. Just kidding. We love
you, Trevor. All right. let's get into this water balloon
fight now i regret to admit that jd's impression of turk in this flashback very racist and i'm
sorry but look it's supposed we address it it was meant to be though did you laugh though
i did laugh actually I laughed out loud
Me too
Actually
I laughed very hard at it
Because I want to say
And I'm willing to bet
That one of our black writers
Wrote the joke too
I want to say something else
Because you then go on
To do a version of me
That is a very white impression
But it's never
Is it racist when black people
Do white people
I don't
Apparently not
Is it racist
No
Joel just said it's not
No
Not really It's like how you're allowed To say hunky Well I don't say that though I know Is it racist when black people do white people? Apparently not. Isn't it racist? No. Joel just said it's not. No.
Not really.
It's like how you're allowed to say hunky.
Well, I don't say that, though.
I know, but you said the other week that you never stopped.
I was being funny.
That was a good joke.
That was a good joke.
By the way, that joke was so good that I want you to know I told Bill you said that, and he laughed.
Right on.
That's funny.
So anyway, voices aside, it's pretty darn funny that in my recollection, I've got my mullet, and I'm rocking down the hallway.
Right.
You're cool in yours.
Yes. And I're, right. You're cool in yours. Yes.
And,
uh, I'm very cool.
And I walk in and you guys are.
Just lying in bed.
Just lying in bed,
but you're naked.
Yes.
And then,
and,
and I don't believe you.
And I look around,
there's no water balloons.
Well,
in Turk's defense. But I hear before I walk in And I look around, there's no water balloons. Well, in Turk's defense.
But I hear, before I walk in, I hear the words.
It's true what they say about black guys.
It's true what they say about black guys.
Oh, no.
Meaning that you stereotypically have a.
I have big dick energy.
Turk, sorry, sorry.
Turk has big dick energy.
You have a girthy shaft.
That's the stereotype
Not only is it girthy
What long?
But thin, no wait, it can't be girthy and thin
That's impossible
It's like an eel
In the Bahamas episode we learn
JD mistakes it for an eel
So it's not really girthy, it's just long then because eels aren't girthy eels are like little
tiny thin things no no a good ocean eel i'll be very thick very thick
you know what you're right i've seen an ocean eel you remember that time we went to hawaii it was me
you and raiden and and Casey. Who else?
And we went to Hawaii.
My girlfriend at the time.
Right.
And we went scuba diving next to the Aerosmith dude.
Steven Tyler's house.
Steven Tyler's house.
Remember that?
Yeah, we got paparazzi'd, and we all looked doughy.
Well, I looked doughy.
You guys looked great.
No, I looked doughy as hell.
Well, they told me I needed to work on my abs.
Paparazzi, eat a dick the thing is um we were we were scuba diving and you know i went underwater we were
snorkeling yes sorry we were snorkeling and i saw a fucking uh ceo and that shit was thick
and it was scary it was scary looking well anyway that's what jd imagines is happening in the room. Now, in Turk's version, when you see me walking down the hallway, I love how I'm walking.
The nerdiest.
Your version of me is such a nerd.
I love that.
That made me laugh out loud, my walk.
And then when I say it's true what they say about black guys, it reveals that you're spinning a basketball on your finger.
Which would mean another stereotype that you're good at basketball.
Well, the fact that Turk is like, how do I fucking turn this around to make JD think that we're not talking about my penis.
We're actually talking about something else.
What would it be that black, I got it, basketball.
Basketball, right.
That's just.
You guys have a, your lie is so bad.
You have a water balloon fight, and then she's cold because her clothes are wet.
And then.
Is that what it is?
Right.
And she says, let's get our.
And then you say, let's get under the covers.
No, she says that.
She says, I've got a great.
In your lie.
In your lie. She says, I've got a great- In your lie. In your lie.
She says, I've got a great idea.
Let's take our clothes off and get under the covers and cuddle to keep warm.
And Turk's like, he doesn't say anything, but they cut to a shot of Turk, and he's not like, yeah, that makes sense.
I wish we had done more of this.
It's so funny.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, the premise of us telling different versions, you know, there's that famous movie that I saw in film school, and not since, but it's called Rashomon, where the premise is you see, like, a number of people's different perceptions of how something went down.
And I think that premise with us in the show is so funny.
They should have used it more.
Because I just think...
Just R2.
Your cartoonish version of how you remember me
and my cartoonish version of how I remember you is funny.
Yeah.
You did have a high top fade, though.
In both of them.
So Snoop Dogg resident has an albino snake,
and he says that his hoes are going to love it.
Yes.
Why?
There's a pet store owner that we both took care of,
and he gives me a goldfish and Snoop Dogg resident a big albino snake I didn't know I
thought we called Snoop Dogg resident Snoop Dogg resident because he was look like Snoop Dogg I
didn't know he was a pimp he's supposed to literally be if Snoop Dogg was on scrubs this
would be okay this is a good question we've never explored.
Does Snoop Dogg resident just lean into the joke and say, like,
I'm obviously a doctor, I'm a resident of the hospital, but okay,
if you guys want to call me that, I'll make jokes like, yeah,
my hoes are going to love this.
Or does he really have hoes?
Right.
Or is he like a straight up PIM walks you know has now and later gators
you know what i'm saying uh you know uh i like to think that on the side he
hoes walk in the track he's like is he is he doing it like that i don't know that he'd have
the time though to be a resident at a hospital and also um run a sex worker
business of the effort right oh gosh well i mean you gotta keep the you gotta keep you gotta keep
your stable in check one but then also like how do you do that how do you keep the how do you do
that and then freaking how do you have a like a vicious side to you do that? How do you keep the, how do you do that? And then freaking, how do you have a,
like a vicious side to you like that,
but then go and save people's lives in the hospital?
Maybe not all pimps are vicious.
Maybe,
maybe Snoop Dogg resident.
If he wants his money,
he got to do something about that.
Cause you know,
the minute he stopped,
the minute he started acting like everything's all good.
Somebody gonna start skimming off the top and take that shit from him.
Don't act like this ain't – y'all can act like this isn't Pimpin' 101,
but that's 101 right there, dog.
All right.
Well, do you remember the other episode where you said,
where are my hoes at, and I said I haven't seen them?
He's a bad pimp too then.
Not only is he a pimp, he's a bad pimp.
He's not keeping track of them.
He's a bad pimp too then. Not only is he a pimp, he's a bad pimp.
He's a horrible pimp.
I like to live in a reality, and I'm sure most of the audience does,
where he's an actual pimp on the side.
That's impossible.
He has two career paths.
That's what I'm trying to say.
So what is it? What is it exactly?
Is he a true pimp or is he just playing?
Well, we'll let the audience decide.
Right on.
I think it's
him he looked like snoop dogg so we gave him that and he ran with it okay next thing is uh the
apparently the ted ted and the janitor are gonna go clubbing i guess they club a lot and uh this
whole janitor fish thing i do you have any ideas on what the hell this is about it went on forever yeah i didn't
get it like i didn't get it either why he's the janitor seems smart enough to know that he could
just put the fishbowl down right but he's mad at himself that he missed an opportunity to fuck with JD. And so he's going to torturing him. Right. To wait.
And he's waiting to torture.
But Ted is like, I need you on your game tonight or it's going to make it so I can't pick up hot chicks pretty much.
So you got to handle this.
So you're not thinking about it tonight when we go to the club. It's too bad it's a bottle episode because it'd be great to see those two at the club just dancing yeah
the club would be great with those two just with sunglasses
they're both wearing sunglasses like lebron okay so kelso says enid's burps smell like pickles and milk. Yes.
That is disgusting.
Turk finally.
So Private Dancer, we don't know what's going on.
It appears he may have attempted suicide. We don't know because he didn't get readmitted into the military,
and the military is very important to him.
And he's calling everyone out on their lies.
Well, okay.
And Turk admits finally that he's a fucking liar.
And the water balloon fight did not happen.
And he slept with Stacey.
Okay, so this is what I don't understand.
And there's two things that happened.
One we skipped that doesn't track.
And one that's in the story that doesn't track.
When did Private Dancer become so with it?
Like, out of nowhere, this fucker turns into, like, he's able to read the room.
He's able to read all of us.
And this is a dude with a brain injury for three episodes before this.
When the fuck did he become so fucking with it?
Well, he's about to check out.
I think we don't know how long it's been, or maybe they say,
but he's made a lot of progress. It's been three weeks
they said. Three weeks!
Alright, well, he's in good shape.
His brain injury has
settled. He's gone to the right meds,
or at least we thought. And he's
able to...
But not enough so that he...
You know, not healthy enough that
he's going to be accepted
into the military military which is his
dream and his goal so he has a he has an injury though that's an injury that his injury is
stopping him from doing that um and so because of that he's like he i don't know do you feel
like he can do you think he committed suicide or do you think it was an accidental overdosing he probably my interpretation was
that he did that he did try to take his life and then elliot admits that she tried suicide
it's a heartbreaking moment and i believe it's the commercial break and then when she comes back
sarah tells the most ridiculous story one has ever heard of a suicide attempt.
Not that anyone should make light of a suicide attempt, but her story is so preposterous.
She decides – I wrote this down because I couldn't believe it.
She can't take her own life by putting her head in the oven because when her head gets hot, she needs to pee.
because when her head gets hot, she needs to pee,
and she's not going to be found passed out in a puddle of her own urine,
not again, not after the prom fiasco.
Then she decides that she's going to wade out of the water in a bikini,
and I think Private Dancer asked her, why a bikini?
And she says, well, my one piece was left in Coach Pongetti's car,
but that's a story she's not going to get into. But it does, it precedes.
Her walking out in a bikini into the lake, and she's treading and she's into the end well into the lake and she's treading
and she's trying to get tired so that she'll drowned but she gets hit in the
head by the rowing team four times dump dump dump dump the rowing team is
practicing and they don't notice her in her bikini, and they nail her in the head and save her life.
Yes.
Only Sarah could sell that so funnily.
That was very funny.
Did you notice that your scrubs were two-tone?
Yeah.
I was trying to shake things up.
I think at this point, season six, Carrie Bennett, our wardrobe designer, we're finally going to have on, she had made her own scrubs brand.
And then I think she was shaking it up.
So, yeah, I got two-tone scrubs on.
The janitor hears fish voices.
The janitor not only hears the fish talking to him in his voice, but then the hits a really it hits a high note it hits that
note and they did that effect it looked for scrubs the effect's pretty good right on and then he
finds out the janitor that the fish's name is john dorsey which is a coincidence because that's also
kelso's platoon leader in the army or something like that right right? Right, this is so weird. It's like the reincarnation of Kelso's war buddy?
Yes.
What about when you finally fart
and you fart yourself into the stratosphere?
Yeah, not only did I fart myself into the stratosphere,
when I'm falling, I fart again and get an extra boost.
And then I fall again.
Audience, I am so ashamed when Scrubs resorts to fart jokes.
But this one was pretty funny.
And then you land and I go, I could have ridden you if I had a saddle.
Oh, we skipped over Johnny C dressed like Alice from the Brady Bunch.
Not only did we skip that, we also skipped freaking private dancers saying that J.D. has a racist impersonation of black people.
Yeah, he's true.
And then J.D. going, he be tripping.
And that's how he went and took a commercial break.
Oh, it's so bad.
But Alice, all that makeup for Johnny C for a very quick pop.
Real quick, real quick.
For those of you who are too young, the Brady Bunch show,
they had a live-in maid.
And she wore a maid's uniform all the time.
Everywhere she went. Even everywhere she went even when she
went to visit sam her boyfriend she still had that sam the butcher she was always she was always
always in that uniform i guess the bradys were well off because they he was an architect right
motherfucking damn you're right they're well off there's six of them motherfucking kids
right there's six of them in one house. Right. In one house.
Right.
In one house.
And check this out.
Not only that, only the young ones share a room.
The older ones, at some point, get their own shit.
Greg had the attic, I think.
Remember he had the beads?
I'm just saying.
Or was that when he moved into it?
Wasn't there a-
Not only did they have a house, they had a backyard with enough space to fucking play a full court game of football.
If they built a sports court, they could have played tennis.
They could have played basketball.
I seem to remember that.
They were paid out there.
In 1950, whenever the fuck this shit came out, 70, them motherfuckers was rich.
It wasn't 1950.
It was 1970.
All right.
Anyway, yeah, I just realized that they must have been rich because Alice was full time.
She never left.
She slept there in the washing.
Had her own room.
I think she slept in the laundry room.
In the maid's quarters.
Well, they had a maid's quarters.
In the Vincent's quarters.
Yeah.
But I remember, I feel like, and this could be my imagination, there was an episode where
they showed her room, and it was very small.
And I felt bad.
I remember as a kid feeling bad for Alice that she had to live in that room.
It's fucked up.
But yo, they let Sam come through.
Sam got to come over and hang out.
Sam loved Alice.
Oh my gosh.
But did they ever show Alice? Even when they went to...
Did Alice come when they went to Disneyland?
Alice went with them everywhere, I'm sure of it.
She had to.
Did she go to Hawaii?
I don't know.
When the spider incident?
I'm sure she did.
Maybe Sam came with her.
I don't remember it.
Joel, we need answers to all these questions.
Did Alice go to Hawaii with the Bradys?
And how long was Mrs. Garrett on... to all these questions. Did Alice go to Hawaii with the Bradys?
And how long was Mrs. Garrett on?
Don't refocus, Joel.
I want to know if Alice. Before she went over to the Facts of Life.
How long was Mrs. Garrett?
How long she worked for the Drummonds.
Yeah.
Before she went over
to the Facts of Life
to teach them girls.
A lot of people don't know
that Alice works for the Drummonds
before she went to Facts of Life.
No, Alice didn't work
for the Drummonds,
freaking Mrs. Garrett did.
Mrs. Garrett did.
Who took over as the...
Pearl!
Pearl took over for the Drummonds.
Was it Pearl?
I don't know.
Dan, can you Google that?
All I know, right.
Joelle, you get on the Alice one.
Daniel, get on the Miss Garrett one.
You get over who took over for Mrs. Garrett
as Arnold and Willis' baby nanny.
Like, that was the thing.
By the way, you've got to be our age to appreciate this there's so many young people
right now all right go ahead and have an answer uh ray departed the facts of life after season
seven at which point chloris leachman stepped in yes this is garrett's sister beverly ann for the
last two there you go that's the facts of life though i'm not talking about that i'm talking
about chloris leachman became the new no no she wasn't a nanny that's facts of life chloris
leachman was the star of Facts of Life.
Her and George Clooney joined the show, too, at that time.
I'm talking about different strokes.
Different strokes.
After Mrs. Garrett left, who was the-
Who was Arnold and Willis' nanny?
And she had to take care of Sam, too, when he came.
No, I'm sure they had a different one, because there was the old, old lady also.
And then there was the young southern lady, Pearl.
I don't remember Pearl.
I think, wasn't Pearl the big, she was like a big southern lady who was, oh, man.
Oh, God.
All right.
So after, sorry, after Edna Garrett?
Yeah.
Yes.
It was Adelaide Brubaker, who was played by. Yes. It was Adelaide
Brubaker who was played by
Nedra Volz.
And then after Adelaide, who was it?
Who was it after Adelaide?
I know there was a Pearl.
Mrs. Pearl.
Am I thinking Mrs.
The third housekeeper.
Pearl Gallagher.
Told you!
Donald, I just I think our rewatch show The third housekeeper, Pearl Gallagher. Told you! Yeah! Oh, my God.
Donald, I think our rewatch show next should be Different Strokes.
Oh, I would watch the shit out of Different Strokes, dude.
Pearl Gallagher was played by Mary Jo Catlett.
I think we found our next show.
I would watch the shit out of Different Strokes. I think we finally figured out that we could watch Different Strokes.
And we could get Todd Bridges on the show.
Yeah, Todd would come on. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty much it. we could watch different strokes. And we could get like Todd Bridges on the show. Yeah, Todd would come on.
Yeah, I mean that's pretty much it. We could probably get everybody. No, they're all
dead, bud. No.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they are.
No. Yeah, maybe Dudley
and Todd are the only dude who plays
Dudley and the dude who played Todd.
I'd only tune out a lot from that cast.
That's sad.
Kimberly passed away.
That makes me sad.
Alice did go to Disney, but it was called King's Island Amusement Park.
And she went to Hawaii where she took hula lessons with the girls.
Okay.
Did she wear her maid outfit?
Did she surf too?
She surfed also.
She might have surfed.
I'm watching a clip from the episode.
She might have surfed.
I'm watching a clip from the episode.
And while she didn't wear her uniform, she did wear a very similar, like, top with the big collar.
But it's, like, burnt orange.
Okay.
Thank you, Joelle.
That was very good and fast trivia for those of you who are wondering.
All right.
We're going to take a break.
And when we come back, we're going to have an amazing guest.
We'll be right back.
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun,
to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
That's right.
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions,
we'll talk through it all together.
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine
every weekday on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app.
In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s
and try to understand what it taught us about the world and a woman's place in it crying in public two 20-something college women
living in nyc dive into growing up at a time when there was no distinction between what's public and
what's private best of both worlds a discussion on work-life balance career development parenting
time management productivity and making time for fun Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s
She looked like a million bucks.
with zero qualifications
She had a Harvard plaque.
tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion?
Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports
out of untold fortunes.
About six million.
Approximately 11 million dollars.
Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone.
Nearly $10 million was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients. Hide your money in your old Richmond because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Athlete Whisperer on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
As important as choosing
the right destination when traveling
is choosing the right travel partner.
Gene! Eugene Fodor!
Gene, we'll boot it!
Much of the joy you
will find on the road comes from
the person you share it with.
So you write the books, Gene, and the last hour on the business.
I understand now.
If it's a wise man, marry a wiser woman.
But be careful and choose your travel partner well,
because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas.
Get down!
I'm not stupid, Gene.
Something is going on in its high time.
You tell me the truth.
Freeze, Americano!
Gene, run!
So travel before it's too late.
Your money will return.
Your time won't.
And we're all too quickly approaching that final destination.
Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
We're back.
Mm-hmm.
All right, listen, it's time for our guest.
Who do you have for us, Joelle?
Let's see what's coming in.
Play the song, Daniel. We got a caller who gave us a holler.
We can talk, start wars, or sing show got a caller who gave us a holler. We can talk,
start wars, or sing show tunes, you know,
like a baller.
Smoke some jazz cabbage.
Maybe talk about the episode.
So come on, Joel, let's get
the show on the road.
Ladies and
gentlemen, give it up for
Brandon!
Oh my god.on morganstein
what up brandon hi welcome to the program wild thank you donald fazan and uh dj daniel
goodman and uh joelle monique you know us uh from the podcast Fake Doctors, Real Friends.
That right there is Zach Braff, better known as Z-Bizzle.
Z-Bizzle.
I'm back in LA.
I got all my buttons.
If there's any sounds you want to hear, you can request any drops.
I got every button.
I don't remember where.
I think the beauty is when you just drop them and no one's ready for it.
That's what I'm talking about.
What you trying to get into one day or soon?
What you trying to do?
Yeah, Wallace.
This motherfucker thinks he's a DJ now.
You see him?
I love it.
Next thing you know, he's going to have his head tilted to the side and he's going to be doing this shit.
I wish I could.
Like Daniel, I wish I knew how to scratch.
Wu-Tang forever.
You want to know my favorite soundbite, though, Brandon?
It's a new one.
And it hasn't been fully worked into my system yet,
but we got it here.
Whether it be taking a poop, whether it be a finger,
whether it be a tongue, whether it be, you know,
everybody likes a little ass play.
Everybody does.
Don't act like you don't.
The only time you don't like ass play is when something's going on in the
ass area.
Well,
Brandon just got here.
Let's not shock him.
Uh,
Brandon,
uh,
do you have a question for us?
How did we find you?
We have to slow down.
Sorry,
Brandon.
Can you tell them why you wrote in please?
Yes.
Okay.
So the little backstory,
which is why I think Joelle blessed me with being here is,
uh, so I've been best friends with my friend Jeff for 18 years. Scrubs is our favorite show. We live across the country from one another, and he got me one half of the heart.
The key chain. He just held up the key chain merch. By the way, we don't sell it. We barely
plug our merch anymore, but there is a merch store, and he held up the, you can get a Turk
in the JD key chain and hold them together.
Go ahead.
Sorry, Brandon.
They're lovely.
But, yeah, so we live across the country from one another now.
And so ever since high school, Scrubs is our favorite show, obviously,
hence the merch.
And ever since high school, we're an interracial duo ourselves,
so we always said that we're like Turk and JD.
Now cut to 10 years later, he's about to graduate med school to
become a doctor because of scrubs wow and I just got engaged to a Latina nurse oh my goodness you
are fulfilling the prophecy I you know when he called me Turk in high school I didn't see it but
now wait if you're an interracial friendship and you're white that
would mean that he's the black guy well he's filipino oh philipina okay yeah all right i'm
just putting it all together yeah all right well filipino guy is playing in this world the filipino
guy is playing jd and the white guy plays turk okay yeah exactly understand this world i'm
following it and no in this you world. You always talk about,
what do you call it? Metaverses?
In the metaverse.
In this metaverse,
the white guy is Turk.
Is the sidekick.
Alright, Hollywood?
In some metaverse, in some universes,
Hollywood, the white guy
is the sidekick.
What if we did a Scrubs um you know and what if
the scrubs concept for the for whatever we're gonna do is a metaverse thing donald that's hilarious
and there's um different versions of us that's great and then there's the dule version of me
yeah and that other kid uh james can play me right and then we could have somebody then we
could like we could go through all of the freaking bromances.
There could be a version where Ben Affleck is me
and you're Matt Damon.
That could be a version.
He may be hard to get.
Really?
You think so?
We can try.
All right.
Brandon, what's your question for us?
Oh, to finish up.
So the finish up.
So ever since I first heard the first episode of the podcast and knew you guys were taking guests, even before I planned on proposing to my girlfriend or fiance now, I knew that when I did it, I would use this podcast to ask my have you guys ask my best friend Jeff to be my best man at my wedding.
Oh, wow.
Jeff.
Jeff, are you listening to this podcast? actually have jeff in the waiting room right now does he know you're engaged i did i was gonna surprise him with
even the engagement but i blew that because i leading up i was complaining bring him in bring
him in bring him in bring him in don't fucking blow it don't you fucking blow this
ladies and gentlemen give it up for Jeff.
Paul Jeffrey.
Jeff, your name is Jeff Paul Jeffrey?
Yeah, my name is Paul Jeffrey.
Oh, so it's not Jeff Paul Jeffrey.
Don't even get me started.
Don't even get me started. Don't even get me started.
Jeff was my nickname
when I was growing up.
Okay, but your name's
Paul Jeffrey. My legal name
is Paul. Yeah, Paul Jeffrey.
Welcome to the show, Paul Jeffrey.
Welcome to the program, my friend.
That's Donald Faison. You know him better
as...
I'm starstruck.
Well, don't be. We're just regular guys.
There's my dog walking behind us.
We're just regular folks. There's a lamp
that from the movie
Wish I Was Here sees how it says swear jar.
Oh, there it is.
Mark, my assistant, took the swear
jar and made it into a lamp.
Is there real money in that shit?
It's not real money, Donald.
Why don't I come over and take some money out of my swear jar?
It would be kind of cool if you could freaking have a light that was also a piggy bank.
Well, it's prop money.
It's not real money.
But I think it's still just a trick.
It'd be dope if it was real money.
Did you guys know that I did a little redecorating?
I got the trunk here.
Anyway, nobody cares.
Why didn't you change? know that I did a little redecorating. I got the trunk here. Anyway, nobody cares.
Jeff, you're here for a very important reason because
Brandon has organized it
not only for you guys to be on the show
but to give
Donald and I the honor
of asking you a question.
Donald, how do you want to do this?
Okay. Paul Jeffrey.
Jeff, Paul Jeffrey.
You have been a friend to Brandon for a really long time.
Yeah.
Very, very special to me.
As you know, he has loved you like Turk has loved JD.
Turk has loved JD.
As a matter of fact, he started off the show by saying,
you know, I'm Turk to his JD pretty much.
Yes.
He said even further that he's had a sex dream or two about you.
He said it didn't go as far as he wanted it to go.
He said you never docked in the dream he said yeah he said you didn't dock
but there might have been a little finger play there was finger play you guys you guys held
hands there might have been but in doing so he was like but that doesn't matter that doesn't
matter he was also like but i'm also engaged to be married.
And I can't dishonor her.
Right.
And the things that I do in the dreams, I can't do.
And she doesn't need to know what happens in my dreams.
But if Jeff Paul Jeffrey would do me the honors on my big special day and saying yes to being my, Brandon, I'm speaking as if I'm him, best man, I would love it.
Jeff Paul Jeffrey it Jeff Paul Jeffrey
do you agree are you willing
to be Brandon's
best man
you know the answer is always obvious
well sorry
Brandon we tried
we need these
absolutely
Donald
it's gonna be is that a yes Yes. Yes. He said yes. Yeah.
Thunderous applause. Why? I mean, you really thought.
Brandon. Yeah. Look at you with the lingo. Here's your thunderous applause.
Here's this. And here's this.
Zach, Zach, Zach, Zach.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like meet him on Zoom. I was like, this is a lot of theatrics for just asking me to be his best man.
The answer is obvious.
Well, I want you to know that's how much he cares about you as his friend.
He went, he went all out.
Did you not hear the story of the dreams? Did you not hear all of this?
There's a lot of love behind this.
Listen, he stalked Joelle. He stalked Joelle.
You're very important to him.
You're his best friend.
And he loves you.
And you better have a good speech, dude,
because we've given you a lot of material today.
And where do you guys live?
I'm from Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
Oh, right on.
Shout out, Jerz.
That's where we grew up. I'm in L.A. now.
Okay. You moved out to L.A.?
Yeah. What'd you move out to L.A. for,
Brandon? To be a comedy writer.
Oh, nice!
Where's the wedding gonna be?
We're probably gonna do it in Vegas.
Oh, shit.
Just to make everyone travel.
Oh, shit.
Donald's will come. No, I don't do Vegas. Oh, shit. Well, Donald will come.
Donald will come.
No, I don't do Vegas no more, B.
Really?
No disrespect, Brandon.
It's going to be a lovely day,
and I'm sure you're going to love it,
but I ain't going to be at your wedding, man.
Now, when you guys have a bachelor party,
will you go to gentlemen's establishments?
Well, I don't think Jeff would fly out for that,
but also I don't think my fiance
would like that either
but if you do ask for cinnamon
at the Spearmint Rhino
she is
cinnamon?
at the Spearmint Rhino
yeah I don't think you should go to
and if you're not going there
and you go to OG's ask for glitter
she
OG's glitter alright guys Glitter. Yes. Oh, OG's, Glitter.
All right, guys, do you have a question?
We're here to answer your question.
Or if you don't, maybe that was just it.
Maybe that was just the thing.
If that was it, that's cool, too.
We can fix your life, whatever you need.
I actually do have one quick question, if you guys don't mind.
No, go ahead.
So when you guys were first starting off in Scrubs,
you were sort of like in
the young professional role sort of getting um into everything uh we had your mentors like dr
cox dr wen i was wondering like were there any lessons that your characters had learned at that
point that sort of like you were able to apply to your own real life like direction you needed in
your own real lives you know all the
lessons that i learned from scrubs i learned way too late and you know i'm a professional now when
we were making this show i was not a professional i was very much a uh a goofball and you know if
you listen to the if you listen to the podcast you know that there were many a days where I came in unprepared or, you know, inebriated or whatever, what have you. And those days are over.
And the lessons that I learned, the way I learned to become a professional was when Scrubs was gone and I didn't have a job.
And it was like, oh, shit.
I kind of fucked around for a bit.
And I hope that didn't travel with life to the crew and everything like that, I'm like Turk.
I'm very professional, but I do know how to have a good time.
You understand what I'm saying?
I would say, yeah.
If I took anything from him, it would be that. I would say I definitely learned, for me, filmmaking.
I wanted to make movies and it was the best education. I wouldn't say necessarily from the characters,
but I learned Scrubs was the best film school ever.
How to execute something very elaborate,
very fast, often that was written sometimes that day
or a few days before.
So it was really, it was like the best film school
you could have had.
So I learned so much that informed the way I work.
And also from Bill, who's, you know,
to this day is an amazing
mentor. Um, the guy has so much on his plate. He's, he's running three TV shows right now. Uh,
uh, so, uh, which, which it's just not even humanly possible, but he's doing it. And so I I learned a lot from Bill and from the crew.
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
We've covered the news
and we know the world can feel heavy,
but the Bright Side podcast
is a space to have a little fun,
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and get into some friendly debates.
That's right.
Join us five days a week
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We'll hear from celebrities,
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And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
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I used to have so many men.
How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
She looked like a million bucks.
With zero qualifications.
She had a Harvard plaque.
Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents.
She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
Is it like a mansion? Yes, it's a mansion.
That this queen of the con
uses to scam some
of the biggest names in professional
sports out of untold
fortunes. About six million.
Approximately eleven million dollars.
Nearly ten million
dollars was all gone.
Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry.
She would probably have sex with one of her clients.
Hide your money in your old rich man, because she is on the prowl.
Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer,
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I see dive into growing up at a time when there was no distinction between what's public and what's private best of both worlds, a discussion on work-life balance, career development, parenting,
time management, productivity, and making time for fun.
Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Any, any other questions or do you need to fix your life?
I had a question that I thought of just because of how easy,
well, not how easy it was,
but I guess I thought there would be a screening process for me before I got
here.
So I was just wondering if you had any like truly crazy people come on the
podcast and you're like, well, can't release that.
No, that would be really interesting. No, to, to,
but I assume that Joelle was screening people to be honest i have a system no no there's no screening you didn't call me out
there's absolutely a screening process but this far in when you get a letter as detailed as
brandon's like it's not really a second thought sometimes people have like just questions that
are good so i call them like hey can you talk is your internet good you sound good it's not really a second thought. Sometimes people have like just questions that are good.
And so I call them like,
Hey,
can you talk?
Is your internet good?
Do you sound good?
It's fine.
Great.
Whatever.
But no,
Brandon's letter was so good.
We've talked and communicated regularly.
So I wasn't worried about like a timing situation.
So you just checked all the boxes off early.
We just want to make sure.
I want that to happen.
First of all,
we like,
we'd like some crazy people.
Just one time. Cause it's so easy to it's so easy when that happens i'm going to remind you guys that
you said it's so easy to kick it's so easy to kick them out it's so easy to kick them out of
zoom if they are if they go too far and stuff like that that's an easy thing to do am i correct
also that's true yes i click a button and they're gone what's worse
is when they're uninteresting and we've had a couple people that were a bit snory and trim those
down we trim them down dj daniel works his magic quite a bit we've had people come on that didn't
really want to like we didn't know how they got on the freaking show like it was like what are you
doing yeah what are you doing on what are you doing on here
like but we should say we should take the time to remind people that if you do want to be on the
show and you haven't been told in a long time joelle tell them how you get on the show or at
least try to get on the show yes you're gonna write us a message to scrubs iheart at gmail.com
tell us a little bit about your a little bit i can't read story you
guys she's a busy gravity it's really important uh come with your great questions your incredible
never before heard stories if we've asked for stories you know i might pull another funeral
story we don't need more penis doctors uh i just want you to know we have one and he is good
we're good yeah we're probably good with that couple who have an open relationship we've done
them already i'm not gonna lie man i've been waiting for somebody to call in and it open up
and it just be like just some freak show going nuts on the other side i've been waiting for that
i would like someone who's bad shit um i
think it would be good good radio oh boy just to like well let's be careful let's be careful well
let's be just a little careful what we wish for i don't know about that shit but maybe like
maybe maybe cat shit maybe something a little a little less i don't know man if you're whiling
getting the emails all right well we don't need, man. If you're wiling, get in the emails. All right.
Well, we don't need to fix your life, I guess, because we proposed.
And this guy's life's going pretty darn well because he's going to marry the woman of his dreams.
What's her name, bro?
Brandon.
What's her name?
Jessica.
Jessica.
Congratulations.
Jessica.
Brandon and Jessica, I can't wait to hear about your Vegas wedding.
I can't wait to hear about your wedding.
I can't wait to hear about your Vegas wedding.
I can't wait to hear about your wedding.
And maybe, and maybe, Jeff will consider, you know,
dressing up like Elvis and going to Vegas and partying like a rock star.
If I can pull it off, we'll see.
Donald will be there.
Donald will not be there.
Donald doesn't go to Vegas anymore.
I'm sure there's a wedding fee.
There must be some fee that you'll attend the wedding. Like a cameo.
Doesn't seem like it.
Maybe a cameo message.
Listen.
Let's just take cameo out of this whole situation. Brandon, I just
fucking proposed
to Jeff Paulrey for you okay
all right let's fucking not get greedy guys all right all right um that's the show everybody
thank you for uh for two wait i just want to say one thing last thing we said we were going to get
to this elliot at the end gave this man a reason to live by kissing him. Right. On his lips.
Yes.
And that was a great thing that she did for him.
I don't know about necessarily having to kiss him, but she gave him hope at the end.
Right.
But then the camera pushes in and she has a little bit of a curious look on her face.
Like, am I attracted to Private Dancer way yes re-watch it re-watch
it audience no way she knew exactly you agree with me i was like what is this pushing for i
didn't understand i couldn't understand i thought the push i thought okay so i looked at it as the
pushing as was her moment of she had i don't know man shit fuck i don't know man it's clear
she let it go a long time ago she let the suicide situation go a long time ago and she was over it
so we're clear on that so yeah what is the what was the motivation for the pushing well i wonder
i'm telling you that the first beat was he says would someone like you ever be interested in me
and she does exactly what you said.
She gives him hope.
She flirts with him a little bit.
And then she, even though she has a boyfriend, she goes as far as to give him a little sweet, innocent kiss on the lips.
And you're right.
She gave him hope.
And then he gets off in a cab.
The cab pulls off.
And then the camera takes its time and pushes in on Elliot.
And she has a look on her face like as if to say like I
don't know was that that was there were sparks am I attracted to private dancer are we setting up
private dancer coming back again in season seven I don't know I thought that Joelle did too
I didn't see that but hey man you know you never know. That's why all art is up for interpretation.
That's right.
You never know.
It's like when you watch one of your Marvel movies.
Some people like them.
Some people don't.
Quick question, Brandon.
You see Doctor Strange?
Yes.
What'd you think?
I thought it was good.
I thought it was better than what a lot of people were saying about it.
Did you think it was better than Spider-Man?
No.
Okay.
Jeffrey Paul Jeffrey. Did you think it was better than Spider-Man? No. Okay. Jeffrey Paul Jeffrey.
Did you see Doctor Strange?
I haven't gotten a chance to see it yet.
Go see it.
Jeffrey Paul Jeffrey, did you see the latest Spider-Man?
Yeah, I did see that one.
Oh, well, on my airplane, I made it to the part where they went into the snowy Doctor Strange's house.
So that part was good. All right. Introduction to the snowy Dr. Strange's house. So that part was good.
All right.
Introduction to the movie.
Yeah.
Almost five minutes in.
I have a bunch of questions now.
Well, we got to go, brother.
Okay.
All right.
It's been a long show.
We love you all.
Are you going to watch Obi-Wan, Brandon?
Because I'm going to watch it.
Oh, my gosh.
Absolutely.
Obi-Wan is coming up.
When does Obi-Wan premiere, Joelle?
You must know.
Yes, the last Friday in May.
And I'm really looking forward to it.
It's a double header.
They're dropping two episodes.
That means it's going to be like two hours of Star Wars, maybe.
Two hours of Star Wars.
Please, dear Star Wars.
I'm going to just write an open letter to Star Wars before we leave.
Dear Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
we leave dear star wars obi-wan kenobi please don't make these episodes shorter than one hour leave it at that leave it at that we know they're made by deborah chow who's a an artiste and so we
know they'll be good and donald will be happy and we have uh we have lots to talk about. Also, they started filming Ahsoka. Sorry.
They did. It happened.
It's finished?
No, they just started filming.
Listen, I'm going to be
honest with you. I'm so disappointed.
What are you disappointed in?
Because nobody called me
to film Ahsoka.
I'm free.
The ultimate meme of the show. I should be in ahsoka i'm free the ultimate meme of the show i should be in ahsoka i could be a pilot dear dave filoni what the fuck whether it be taking a poop whether it be a finger whether
it be a tongue whether you know everybody likes a little Ash Blank. Five, six, seven, eight. He's got stories about a show we made.
About a bunch of doctors and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate.
I said he's got stories that we all should know.
So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Mm-hmm. Hi, friends.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce. And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships,
friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk
through it together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,
which means he's also back in our ears
on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast.
Join late night legend Jon Stewart
and the best news team for today's biggest headlines,
exclusive extended interviews, and more.
Now this is a second term we can all get behind.
Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast.
This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs,
more live events, and more questions from you.
I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who changed the world.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app.
In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s and try to understand
what it taught us about the world and a woman's place in it.
Crying in public.
Two 20-something college women living in NYC dive into growing up at a time when there
was no distinction between what's public and what's private.
Best of both worlds.
A discussion on work-life balance, career development, parenting, time management, productivity, and making time for fun.
Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.