Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 701: Own Worst Enemy Hyundai Drive-In Special
Episode Date: September 15, 2022On this week’s episode, JD struggles with his life decisions when it comes to Kim. In the real world, Zach, Donald, and the gang head to a drive-in to watch the first episode of season 7! You can wa...tch the episode in real time with us. It’s like an actor’s commentary! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Guys, I've never been to a drive-in in my life.
Ever.
Have you guys been to drive-ins before?
I have.
I love a drive-in movie.
I've only been to a drive-in when I was making a movie.
Right.
And there was nothing on the screen at the drive-in, but we were in the drive-in theater.
So we were in the spots, but we were pretending to watch a movie.
I see.
When there was no movie.
Almost the same thing.
Almost the same thing.
That's the only...
That's not real.
That's Hollywood.
Yeah, it was a Hollywood...
Yes, it was movie magic.
And everything worked out at the drive-in.
What happened?
Oh, it was a make-out scene?
It was a make-out scene.
Did you make out successfully?
I made out successfully.
All right.
Congratulations.
Well, that's what's synonymous with driving, is making out.
But we won't be doing any making out today.
Are you sure?
Well, we'll see what happens.
Okay.
But listen, I'm very happy to be here.
I want to thank the good folks at Hyundai for making this all happen.
My drive-in dreams come true.
We're in the brand- Hyundai Ioniq 5,
which is Donald's new car.
What do you think of it, buddy?
I love it.
Listen, Hyundai.
Go ahead.
I want to make a deal.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
You already got a deal.
They gave it to you.
Yeah, I would like to make another deal.
I would like to be able to drive this car for pretty much
the rest of my life.
No joke.
It has so many great features.
It's beautiful.
I have to tell you, I love the double screens.
Well, do you like the mood that I've set in the car, too? It's gorgeous.
And also, you can choose the mood color.
We have purple.
Is purple your color?
Royalty, baby.
Royalty, baby.
Very regal.
Very regal.
And there's a plug in the back, Daniel, which I appreciate.
Aren't you using it?
I'm a big fan of the plug in the back, using it to power our Zoom H6 to record this whole
session right now.
Like a legit plug.
Oh, it's real.
It's very legit.
And there's two of them.
Let me tell you something I really like
about the Hyundai IONIQ 5.
I had a competitive brand,
and it would not go 300 miles.
Oh, no.
This, on full charge,
would go 303 miles, Donald.
Yeah, I've pushed it to the limit.
Yes.
I've charged it.
You went 304 miles?
I got all the way to 300 miles,
and then we charged this bad boy. Yeah, that's nice. And it gives you all the way to 300 miles, and then we charged this bad boy.
Yeah, that's nice.
And it gives you all the warnings you need.
It has very much like all of the other Hyundai cars that we've, like, when we drove the Tucson
and how it has the features on the side.
We could see from up above.
You can see when you hit the signal.
You can see what's in your left lane.
You can see what's in your right lane.
And you said it gave you a little haptic sort of warning if you drifted from your lane.
And if you drift too far.
If you're a driver like Donald and you
drift. No, no, no, no.
It's because I got kids. Well, I do
Tokyo drift. There it is. Oh, no.
I do hit the...
But not in the Hyundai.
Calm down, everybody. But I got kids
and stuff, so sometimes my attention gets taken
away from the road. Well, thank God. The Hyundai Onyx 5 has a little jiggle.
Thank goodness.
It's a little haptic.
It ain't even a little jiggle.
That thing's like, you are off the road, bro.
Get back in the road.
What does it say while you're driving?
The Hyundai's like, bro.
The lane's over here.
Bro.
It should have a little sound that goes, bro.
Bro.
Well, the car is very pretty. It should have a little sound that goes, bro. Bro.
Well, the car is very pretty.
It's gorgeous.
And here's the real thing that I want to say is that Hyundai has made our dreams come true.
And we are going to do something we've never done on the podcast before for the start of Season 7.
And that is we are going to watch an episode live at this drive-in here.
Season 7.
Yeah, this is amazing.
First of all, thank you, Hyundai, for freaking setting up a drive-in in the Mellitus parking lot
in beautiful downtown Glendale.
Here's the thing, guys.
What I want you to do, if you're
willing and able, is I want you,
the listener, to start the
episode when I hit play on the remote
control for this drive-in app. That's how fancy
we are. I have a remote control to start the drive-in movie. That is very fancy. And if it's too bad, no one
else knows we're doing this because you could literally be watching an episode live in Glendale
with all of us. For the future. Okay, let's just talk about how this show opens up. Yes,
before we get there, I just want to say five six seven eight okay count it baby five six seven stories about a show we made about a bunch of doctors and nurses in a canada who love me i said he's
got stories that you all should know so gather around to hear our gather around to hear our So, fans, if you want to play along, this will never happen again, okay?
Throughout the rest of the run of Scrubs podcast.
We can't promise that this will happen again.
It's not going to happen again.
Even if Hyundai sponsors another activity, like we did driving first, we're doing driving now, we'll do something else.
Right.
So, if you really want to make the most of this, what you want to do is you're going to hit
play and pause along with us. Okay. So I'm going to hit play to start it. We're going to talk about
it. We're going to laugh. We're going to pause to talk about a moment. Donald, anyone can call pause.
Okay. That's a rule. No problem. Sounds good. But you got to play along at home because then you'll
literally be watching it with us. We can't obviously for legal reasons play the episode out loud but we have it playing in our ears yes you can watch it at home and i'll
say on your marks get set go we're going to start it sound like a plan i love it now what were you
going to say we're looking at the frozen image on the top which is jd and elliot lying in a bed
together these two will not stop yes will they or won't they they will they or won't they-ing. They will they or won't they until the end of the show.
Yes.
Pretty much.
Yes.
The fuel that drives the show.
Yeah.
They're Ross and Rachel-ing.
They are totally Ross and Rachel-ing.
But even Ross and Rachel, it got to the point
where it was like, I don't care if they do it or don't.
I'm invested in this.
And not just because it's me.
I know.
I am very invested in this relationship.
But I'm also simultaneously very frustrated by them.
What?
How could you not be?
It's just, oh my god.
They're both, I love them as human beings and actors and characters.
Yes.
But I'm annoyed by them.
Like, shit or get off the pot.
Well, you know, I'm going to be honest with you.
Facts.
I'm going to be honest with you.
It's mostly Elliot that needs to two.
Elliot needs to twos.
No, JD is
going back and forth too.
He had the chance.
He's not going to make that move
because he knows if he makes that move
and if Elliot says, you know what, I'm
not feeling this, then he has to turn
tail and walk back to Kim and
explain to Kim, look, alright, so look,
I know we're having a baby, but
I made a mistake and
hooked up with Elliot. I thought it was something
real. She said no.
They're both feeling this moment right
now. Well, yeah. They're lying in a
single bed together.
JD is about to go for it.
Where's her name tag at? She doesn't wear
a name tag anymore? She took it off because she thought her
boobies were going to get touched.
Can't have your tag on
if you're going to
have boobie grabbing.
It's clear that JD
went for the boobies too
because when he stands up,
he stands up.
That is the go-to
for JD.
JD's first move
is always boobs.
He goes,
kiss boobs.
All right,
so we're going to start
on the,
when I say go,
we're going to start,
so that's what's
going to happen.
We're going to pause, play, pause, play. All to start. So that's what's going to happen. We're going to pause,
play, pause, play. Alright, here's the first play.
My first driving experience begins.
Three, two, one. Play.
Alright, we're going. We're off.
Okay.
It's rolling. He's about to make out,
Donald.
Look, she looks beautiful. I don't look that good that close. Sarah looks very pretty. I don't think they all have a good, the ladies have a lot of makeup on season seven.
Look how pretty she looks.
You don't want to see, oh yeah, season seven, everyone has a new look.
That's where he's grabbing the boobies.
Hands out, ready to go.
Fantasize.
She's got a lot of makeup on.
So does Judy at some point when they...
I, Okay.
I have a very short haircut this season so far. Yeah, you do.
Every season that starts, you want to see everyone's new
look. This was our season... Well, my look was always the same.
This year I have... No, you changed weights.
Wow! Oh, damn.
Wait. This was Snoop Dogg's biggest lie.
That's right, baby.
Trousers. Trousers Trousers
By the way
Manly got good at acting
Yeah
Well, you know
You give him enough lines
Eventually
But I mean, he really got good
Yeah
Shout out to Manly
Oh, God
Here comes Keith
Keith?
Keith
Wait, I was already surprised out loud
Okay Keith. Keith. Keith. Wait, I was already surprised out loud. OK, now there's a weird voiceover technique
in this episode where it feels like everyone has a voiceover,
but we're really, what's called in the business, pre-lapping
the audio to the next scene where she's confessing
to Turk and Judy, Turk and Carla.
You're very thin.
Look how thin you look. Yeah. You know, what else I was noticing is that Turk and Carla. You're very thin. Look how thin you look. Yeah, you know, what else
I was noticing is that Turk and Carla
is in her 90. What were they going to get?
They were going to get banging. I think they were going to get tailed.
I think it's supposed to be a mislead.
Yeah, see, it's supposed to be a mislead.
You're supposed to think they're going to have sex,
but they're talking about candy.
Alright, pause. Alright, so I want to talk about
candy for a second. Now, you set up because you're a diabetic. You're only allowed to have sex, but they're talking about candy. All right, pause. All right, so I want to talk about candy for a second.
Now, you set up because you're a diabetic.
You're only allowed to have one candy bar every eight months or something like that?
Or once a month or something like that.
I forgot what it is.
I don't know.
But anyway, I want to know, going around the car real quickly,
what is your, you could only have one candy, like one thing.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Me too.
That sounds really good.
Me too.
Reese's Peanut Butter.
I love that candy. Yeah. I love that candy more than anything. Reese's, hollerups. Me too. That sounds really good. Me too. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I love that candy.
Yeah.
I love that candy more than anything.
Reese's, holler at your boys.
Yo, we love you.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Send us the mother load.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
All right, let's go.
Joelle, what's yours?
Joelle, what is it?
A King Cup would be perfect, but I'm probably going to go Dove Chocolate.
Wow, Dove Chocolate straight up.
I love a Dove Chocolate.
Okay.
Daniel?
Room temperature Milk Duds.
They got to be room temperature, though, because if they're too cold, you can't chew them.
But when they're room temperature, you just go right through them.
Is that your movie theater go-to?
Yeah, 100%.
You like chewing on shit for a really long time, man.
Hell yeah.
Because that thing, the Milk Duds get caught in your teeth.
You know what I really don't like that people like that's polarizing?
What?
Red Vines.
Oh, I hate Red Vines.
Not on them.
Not about them.
My wife loves those. I can't do it. Licorice in general is a no for me. Me too. Terrible. hate Red Vines. Not about him. My wife loves those.
I can't do it.
Licorice in general is a no for me.
Me too.
Horrible.
Can't do it.
Okay.
So Turk picks, so Turk goes on to say that he wants to pick something that doesn't sound
racist, like dark chocolate or juju bees.
Now, who is racist?
Where is juju bees racist?
Wait, wait.
Oh, you're saying juju.
Right.
And so I get that.
But somewhere in there he thinks black people, juju, like that's bad juju.
No, he just means racist to any people.
Dark chocolate is racist to black people.
Jujubees is anti-Semitic is what he's saying.
Dark chocolate is racist to black people.
I don't know.
That's his theory.
So no dark chocolate.
All right.
Play, please.
Look at the face Judy's making.
She makes a little crazy face.
Here you go.
Junior Mints.
I like Junior Mints.
I don't like Junior Mints.
Hard pass.
You don't like Junior Mints, Joelle?
Mints and a candy? Get out of here. Oh, whatchamacallit. I don't like Junior Mints. Hard pass. You don't like Junior Mints, Joelle? Mint in a candy?
Get out of here.
Oh, Whatchamacallit.
I remember Whatchamacallit.
I remember when Whatchamacallit came out.
So, wait.
Do you want to pause?
No.
Oh, no.
Here's why, though.
Pause, pause, pause.
I thought you were going to ask for a threesome.
Wow.
Didn't you, Donald? No, I thought I was asking her. I thought you were going to ask for a threesome. Wow. Wow.
Didn't you, Donald?
No, I thought I was asking her.
I thought there was going to be.
I thought there was some sexual,
something sexual going to happen.
You whisper in her ear.
Right.
Judy's in a nightie.
Right.
I think it's supposed to be a mislead that you're like,
hey, Donald, you want to get in on something?
What you trying to get into, day of shooting?
Turk is very brave, especially after having a conversation with his best friend.
So he knows that JD and her just almost hooked up.
So he's trying to do a threesome.
That Turk is a dirty, dirty boy.
Okay, but don't you think it's supposed to be a tiny bit of a mislead?
Or maybe not?
I don't know.
Look how young you look there.
That's a great shot of you.
Shut up, man.
Maybe I'll be looking in the rearview mirror.
No, you look great now, but you look like a little baby. You look great.
You look great.
This was over 20 years ago.
I know.
No, it wasn't.
This is more like 15, right?
It was over 20 years ago.
No, Dan will do the math.
We started, this is 2006.
2006 was, or 16 years ago.
Yeah, all right, here we go.
All right, play please.
That's a pretty fast math.
I was like six, seven.
Yeah, I'll try Dan,
because he's like a human calculator.
All right, look, Judy's like, what did he ask you?
That's not true.
See, she's suspicious.
Do they not make Mars bars anymore?
She asked if they still make Mars bars.
Do they not make Mars bars anymore?
I haven't had a Mars bar in a while.
I never heard of them.
I never even had a Mars bar.
I never had a Mars bar.
You never had those little tiny?
No.
So I don't like Mars bars.
I also don't like the candy you choose later.
So she's going to tell Elliot.
Elliot's going to tell Keith
that she's going to...
Damn, Elliot.
Yeah.
I'm talking about
the last minute.
Oh, this is back to Stacy
who's the water balloon girl.
Riding in pleasure
beneath a big brown butt, that's you.
Look, I hold up the buns, look.
Bouncing.
So let me ask you.
Wait a second.
First of all.
This girl Stacy haunts me.
For your whole life?
My whole life For your whole life
And you were the traitor
And I betrayed
Right
And so you just asked me
If he was going to do that again
With Elliot
Right
There's no way
There's no way
Well
But she must have had
Some nice
There's no way they wrote
There's no way he wrote
No it's you bouncing
Those are your eyes
I do have nice brown cheeks
You do have nice
I just want to say I don't know that I improv that But I doubt they wrote Those are your own things. I do have nice brown cheeks. You do have nice brown cheeks.
I just want to say, I don't know that I improv that,
but I doubt they wrote, he holds up two hamburgers on his head.
But it's cut in half, though. Yeah, it's funny.
It works.
Okay, so here we're about to, I'm going to hit play again.
Elliot's about to go tell Keith that they're not going to be together.
She wants to call off the engagement.
And everyone in the hospital is watching.
Okay, play please.
Oh, God.
Can you imagine trying to have this conversation?
In the parking lot? In the parking lot?
In the parking lot in front of everybody?
Oh, and she's still giving digs about taking the last name.
Wow.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy, Keith.
In the parking lot.
So can you pause this real quick?
Pause, please.
So whenever somebody says we need to talk, that's obviously a bad thing.
Yeah, that's never a good sign.
Literally never.
That's never a good sign.
No.
He didn't notice that everybody's watching?
No, because he's very, his fiancee just said we need to talk, which is not a good sign.
He should have saw this.
I feel like he should have saw this coming, but okay.
Well, he didn't look up.
This shot is very funny, by the way.
This is everyone in the cast with a few background folks watching out through the window.
Really messed up.
Okay, play.
Oh, my God.
Even this dude's on the roof.
Oof.
Oh, man. In front of everybody. Yikes. Elliot, the roof. Oof. In front of everybody.
Elliot, come on.
Everyone's bummed out that the show's over.
JD's happy.
No, because Snoop Dogg is finally
telling Josephine.
That was the worst jump ever, by the way.
She's a writer on the show, Josephine.
Very gentle jump.
Oh.
I can't do this all on my own.
Great cold open.
Great cold open.
I know.
I'm no Superman.
Bill Lawrence directed this episode.
I'm no Superman.
You know that Bill Lawrence guy?
Classic.
Okay, there's Kim.
She's very pregnant.
Played by the wonderful...
Elizabeth Banks.
I'm also Amy Smart.
Played by the wonderful Elizabeth Banks.
As important as choosing the right destination when traveling
is choosing the right travel partner.
Gene!
Eugene Fodor!
Gene, we'll boot it!
Much of the joy you will find on the road
comes from the person you share it with.
So you ride the books, Jean.
I have a lot of stuff on the business.
I understand now.
He's a wise man, Mary is a wise woman.
But be careful and choose your travel partner well,
because the worst trips result when two partners
have two different agendas.
Get down!
I'm not stupid, Gene.
Something is going on in its high time you tell me the truth.
Freeze, Americano!
Gene, run!
So travel before it's too late.
Your money will return, your time won't,
and we're all too quickly approaching that final destination.
Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Wow.
Do your feet get really big when you're pregnant?
Yeah, oh gosh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah.
Noted. Like, a lot of oh, Daniel, is there something you want to talk about?
No.
Oh, Daniel.
Okay, so this is a week, okay, now we're cutting to a week earlier, by the way.
Oh, flashback.
So you may have missed that.
So you may have missed that.
Look at the difference between last year's hair and this year's hair.
No, no, no, I think it's the one week earlier within the show.
We shot it like that.
I know, but look at the hair and the glam on the...
Pause for a second.
No, I'm saying...
No, I get that, but I'm saying this year on the show,
look at the glam.
Oh, you're saying right now everyone's all dolled up.
Everybody is dolled up.
Everyone came back season seven feeling themselves.
Like, I'm trying to get that next job.
Right.
That's probably what it is.
Everyone's like, I don't know how long this shit's going to go.
It's seven. I mean, most shows don't go past seven. That's crazy. I'm. Everyone's like, I don't know how long this shit's going to go. It's seven.
I mean, most shows don't go by seven.
That's crazy.
I'm going to be honest with you.
This episode, I had Benny Boom and Enie Clemons come down for this episode.
And in one of the shots, this is how I got Next Day Air.
They came down to, actually from this episode, they came down to talk to me about it,
and they came to set, and it's the scene where I'm sweating,
and I smell like eggs, and Kelso goes,
am I having a stroke or somebody cooking an omelet?
That actual scene was the scene that Benny Boom
and Eni Clemons, the producers of Next Day Air,
they came, we had our meeting,
and then I went and shot that scene,
and by the end of the scene, I knew I had the job.
That's cool.
That's amazing.
Wow, that's amazing.
And where does smelling, do you smell like eggs when you sweat?
No.
Okay.
Someone in the writer's room must,
because I've never heard of anyone smelling like eggs when they sweat.
Someone was trying to tell somebody in the writer's room,
by the way.
By the way.
You smell like eggs, Joe.
That's a running joke in this show.
I would appreciate it if when you worked out,
you showered before you came to the writer's room.
How about Kelso being like, what does he say?
Am I having a stroke or is somebody cooking an omelet?
Just get back from the gym.
All right, we're back at it.
And play.
Okay.
Oh, the panda baby.
This is where Turk reveals that the panda baby is dead.
Ming Ming died.
Ming Ming died.
Didn't the panda just recently die at the zoo?
Didn't the panda just recently die at the zoo?
By the way, sorry, JD closes with a flip phone.
How great was it to be able to close a call with a flip phone?
It's a tactile sensation.
Yeah.
It really was like over.
I was just saying that.
When's the last time
you actually saw somebody
on their phone
walking around with it
like this?
Yeah,
we're all on speaker.
That's true.
Everybody got AirPods now,
yeah.
Everybody got earbuds.
But I did love
ending a call
with a flip phone.
Oh yeah?
Word?
A word?
Here's Beard Fisse.
And Beard Fisse really got a chance to act.
Now this patient is supposed to be so charming.
He's like a young...
Robert Redford.
Yeah, damn you.
Oh, he calls her Pigor.
He called her pig whore.
He called her pig whore.
That's a trip to HR for sure.
Jesus.
Well, is it a trip to HR?
Pause for a second.
That's for sure a trip to HR. You can't call someone pig whore at work.
Here's where lines get crossed, though.
They had to go to HR to establish the fact that they're dating at work, right?
So you go to HR and you say, we're dating now.
I think it's more of a modern concept
than when we shot this in 2006.
But there has to be some type of thing
like, okay, they just broke up.
There needs to be a healing
process because if you break up
and it's not amicable and it's
one-sided, somebody's going to come into
work talking like that, calling somebody pig whore.
No one's coming and calling a pig whore at work.
I don't know, man.
If we just.
Joelle?
Listen, for sure, HR is going to be like, well, now we have to separate.
Yes.
I was about to say.
You can't be in the same department anymore.
He gets worse later.
Because he's her intern, too.
It's very not good, that entire relationship.
Now, keep in mind, this is a flashback right so so this
is a week earlier because at the end of season six she she broke it off she started to break it off
but she didn't tell him it was over over until this episode right so we're now seeing what keith
is behaving like before the parking lot incident yeah okay let's play please
wow carl is rationalizing.
This is funny.
Kelso's trying to steal a cappuccino maker from him.
Yeah, yeah.
He totally lies that he gave the cappuccino maker.
Well, I mean...
And then somebody else gave it.
Yeah, everything's up for...
Well, you know there's a cappuccino maker in there.
There's that.
There's going to be dishes.
But it's kind of messed up that he tries to steal it.
He tries to steal it.
He tried to steal that.
Written by Gary.
Written by Gary Neal.
Directed by Bill Lawrence.
Shout out, Bill.
Look at that.
Oh, see, I see.
That's when it's, that's not even true.
Did you talk to Carla?
Good episode, man.
I wonder how long-
It was always great when Bill directed, you know why?
Cause he's, oh, you're gonna get more joke
cause he's there all the time and he's just pitching.
He doesn't really like directing as much as he likes coming up with jokes.
Right.
So you know you're going to get so many extra jokes.
Oh, that's sad.
Oh.
Okay, pause.
Pause, please.
Let's talk about that really quick.
Okay, so if you're in a situation, the right thing to do is never,
the right thing to do sometimes isn't the right thing to do sometimes isn't the right thing to do
It's the wrong thing to do. I feel like JD is about to learn this lesson
That's what he learns in the episode in a hard. Yeah
You know the right thing to do is to stick it out with Kim and raise this kid
But that's also the wrong thing to do because that's not where his heart is. Well, I'll meet you halfway
I think the right thing to do is to give it a try because he really did like her
Okay, they had an oops and she got pregnant
but don't...
Well, there's the big thing that she lied
which is so fucked up.
But let's just describe that for just
to make it more accessible to the average
listener. Let's say that it was
just, you know, they
got pregnant when they just started dating.
He really liked her so why not
give it a chance
which is what he's trying to do now yeah but if it's if they don't have a connection he
can't marry that connection's gone that connection went out the window and and he's having a hard
time understanding this that connection yeah when it went out the window the minute he saw elliot
say i don't want i don't want to do this with Keith anymore.
Right then and there. He's got feelings right there.
Well, he's always had the feelings.
He's just been burying them.
But they came right back up.
Oh, gosh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, you know, he's really, he's so torn because he's trying to do what he thinks is the right
thing.
But then in the midst of it, Elliot's getting single and he's like, oh, I should be single too.
Our timing's always off.
Our timing's always off.
All right, play, please.
Moobut?
Rumpel Fugly?
Okay.
Who's Moobut?
She's Moobut, right?
Yeah, she's Moobut.
She's not Moobut.
She's Moobut, yeah.
None of those girls were good for you except for Moobut.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so let's not forget the story that Cox is trying to solve this handsome Robert Redford type guy's problem.
Yeah.
He initially thinks it's Lyme disease.
He's very proud of himself.
This guy has some magical look.
They give him a very special eye light.
He looks like an old school movie star.
Yeah, I remember when we shot this, when we were shooting this, I remember Elizabeth being like,
I really like this actor, he's really funny,
he's really, he has a great presence.
And call me Joe.
Call me Joe.
And he does though, he has a smile.
And everyone, all the men are,
oh wait, there's when Turk is sweating
and he smells like eggs.
This is how I got the part.
Why would you come to the ICU like this?
I don't know.
Smells like eggs.
This is the scene I was talking about.
Next day air, here I come after this.
I don't understand.
I don't know much about.
Johnny.
I have to tell you that, again, I'm a fake doctor,
but I don't think you're supposed to go in the ICU looking
like that.
Serious?
Am I having a stroke or is someone
making an omelet?
He grabs his wrist and takes his pulse.
Alright, now...
Pause, please.
This has happened to me before.
You gotta let the person...
This has happened to me before.
Where I thought the person was
gone.
And I showed up to the house and
they were still packing. Right.
And... And you had to have an awkward
conversation? And we had to have an awkward conversation.
Alright, but he at least says to her,
can you please leave? I don't want to do this when you're standing
here. And she says no.
She tries to start making him laugh, which is the
funniest, most awkward thing ever that's coming up.
Yeah.
Very strange.
Look, I'm all for certain things when you break up with somebody when it's, like, fresh off the breakup and nobody's really, you know what I mean?
Like, so the things that they're about to get into, like the sex and all of that stuff, I'm all good with that.
What I'm not good with is torturing.
Which is what she's really doing to this young man.
Torture.
I'm not into the torture.
She's like a sociopath.
Yeah.
Complete.
Complete this whole episode.
Nailed it.
This whole episode.
All right, play please.
Jesus Christ, Elliot.
Oh.
No, no, this whole sequence here where she... She tries to make him laugh.
It's so cringy.
And he starts crying.
Yeah.
Do you see his eyes?
His eyes are watering.
Travis did a good job.
Yeah, Travis did a great job.
What a bitch.
And she's trying to fake laugh and he's not breaking.
It's so cruel.
That's a horrible,
horrible person.
Jesus Christ.
Oh my God.
She takes that turn.
She's evil.
So I'm like.
So in this episode, I don't know if you've noticed, She's evil. Oh, my God.
So, in this episode, I don't know if you've noticed,
but there's a lot of our favorite background artists in the background.
Yes.
Beardface, Colonel Doctor.
There he is again.
Here comes Asim with her voice.
Oh, that voice.
That's not her real voice from what it's from.
No, it's not.
It's not. She was a writer on the show and she was very funny a scene
but Snoop's in love with her
so let's
story wise
here's the janitor's girlfriend
whose name is Lady
who he winds up marrying
spoilers Donald
the season finale of
our wonderful
show. Yeah. The series
finale. No.
Yeah, I love you more than Turk.
Oh, that's the Bahamas episode,
though. It's not the series finale. That's not the series finale. No. You should watch
the show. It's really good.
Alright, so in JD's defense, this is
very... Hey, lady.
She looks...
She waves like, I don't know you.
That's Steg's wife, Kat.
No, sorry, that's Steg's wife, Kit Pongetti.
Yep.
Okay, now here's Turk.
So he's trying to figure out what candy to get.
And we do another pre-lab voiceover here.
They're going to go with God.
That's a big mistake.
There's so much in there you don't want.
There's no way you would ever do that.
Oh, no one wants a bit of honey.
Do they even still make bit of honey?
Honey?
I'm going to be honest with you, man.
Bits of honey is trash.
Have you even tried a bit of honey?
No.
On a spoon.
What did you say?
On a spoon. Oh, my God.
All right.
So the surgical consult.
Call me Joe.
Turk is charmed by him.
Aw.
I do like Joe.
Yeah, what is, everyone's, all these men are in love with Joe.
He's got charm, Gumball.
If you.
All right, so here's the lead up to the end of the act.
So.
Get the hell out of here, Xander says.
Why is Keith trying to put the lamp in the box?
I don't feel bad for her.
I don't feel bad for her either.
I don't know.
I love that voice.
That just is horrible.
So the council says, get him the hell out of here.
He's got no symptoms.
Get him the hell out of here.
Not Joe.
I want to save Joe.
All right.
Then Joe waves.
Let's save Joe.
All right.
Then we move to Marshall.
Let's save Joe.
Let's save Joe.
Bye, Joe.
All right, I'm going to move commercial.
If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new
podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here,
but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
And we're back.
And we're back.
It's still made, by the way.
Did Honey still make it?
So they like Joe so much, they're so charmed by him, they're going to turf him to dermatology.
And Turk draws a mole on his face to buy them some time.
So they can figure out what's wrong with him.
Why, Elliot?
Leave him alone.
Because you dumped him.
Because you just flipped.
You broke his heart.
Oh, come on, Elliot.
Girl, it's too soon for this.
Yes.
Ooh.
Damn.
He calls her pig whore.
That's so mean.
And that turns her on.
Oh.
And that gets it going.
Elliot's a freak.
Oh, my gosh.
Elliot's a...
Look at her hair.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
She fixed that hair real quick.
She fixed it real quick just by looking like that.
That was like on an airplane. Oh, this God. She fixed that hair real quick. She fixed it real quick just by looking like that. That was like on an airplane.
Oh, this is funny.
Sports fair.
Because I watch Hoosiers.
I watched Hoosiers last night, and I like sports now.
So season seven is starting off with a bang on.
Oh, my God.
All right, very funny season.
Oh, no.
Was that improv?
Yeah, I think so.
I know you're the one that started the rumor about us.
Me looking, too?
Look at Todd's shirt.
Oh, this is funny.
So, do a whole spoof of award shows.
Yeah.
And how we're up for Cox's award.
JD goes into a fantasy.
First comes Barbie Reed.
Barbie Reed.
And everyone looks into the lens
And does the jokey thing
Like they do at award shows
And then you look to your sides
Turk looks right into the lens
Todd is wearing a shirt
That says
Dong sleeping with an arrow
Dong sleeping with an arrow
Now here's what's funny.
We do the awkward thing where somebody else wins
and you have to act like you're happy for them.
Same Judy Dorian.
Donald, you still look pissed.
I was trying to do the Denzel.
Remember when Denzel lost that one?
No.
Who did Denzel lose to?
He lost to somebody.
Denzel lost to somebody.
It was the year La La Land won.
And he lost to somebody. And the joke to somebody. It was the year La La Land won and he lost to somebody and the joke was
at the end
when La La Land
lost and it was
really going to
moonlighting
that
the audience
Denzel was going
about his award
count it again!
Count it again!
That was the year that actually ended up going to Moonlight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for Moonlight.
Count it again.
Who did he lose to, though, that year?
I'll try to find it.
Oh, it was for best?
It was for best actor.
Casey Affleck.
Yeah, he lost to Casey Affleck.
Oh.
Yeah.
All right. Now, by the way, we do a little joke here. Yeah, he lost to Casey Affleck.
All right.
Now, by the way, we do a little joke. Count it again.
Michael Washington did Fences, and he should have beat Casey Affleck from Manchester by
100%.
Yes.
All right, well, I wanted to say that whenever I was up for an award for Scrubs, I would
always lose to Tony Shalhoub, who was on Monk.
So within the show here, when I win the award, award i go suck on that tony shalhoub tony shalhoub was like okay
he's like i can't see the tv passed on my awards
could we get something to lower the awards sweetheart can the awards go on in a cabinet
it's on the mantle and it's blocking everything.
We have too many awards.
Okay, play please.
Okay, Kelso has yet to be charmed by Joe.
He's going to go in and try.
Okay, here he goes.
Okay.
Mr. Hudnick Call me Joe
You see that little light they put on his eyes?
Yeah
And Kelsa comes to help
Okay
There aren't a lot of episodes that you remember, right?
Right
I remember this episode very well, actually.
Pause, please.
This is one of those episodes that I remembered very, very well.
And I don't remember watching it.
I remember shooting it.
I remember the days when we made this.
And I remember the storyline and everything.
When we put it on, I was like, I know exactly which episode this is.
I got a job from this episode.
And so this is.
You may remember because it's the beginning of a season.
It's like, you remember where you were.
I mean, this was a big deal.
Season seven, I think we were off for like two years in between or something.
Really?
We were off for a really long time in between six and seven.
I remember that.
Was it the writers?
It couldn't have been the writers' strike. No, but
aren't we on our way to Disney at some
point, too? Like, at one point
we didn't know if we were coming back.
Like, didn't we do two seasons on Disney?
Oh, so maybe this was the move to Disney
ABC year? I think so.
If it's season 7, I believe so.
Well, will you look that up? She's actually doing it right now.
Yeah, maybe this was the move to ABC
year. We're not going to see Rob's dong anymore.
No, well, we never saw Rob's dong in the first place.
Well, we're not going to see his package.
And what a loss that was.
I know.
I'm going to tell you something.
ABC, you've never made a wrong decision more wrong than excluding Rob's dong from the show.
We like everything that you're doing right now, Disney+.
The one thing that we don't like is the lack of Dom.
The lack of Dom.
So season seven is actually the final season
that aired on NBC.
Oh, got it.
By ABC.
OK.
So JD is about to really, he's like,
he's made it a whole day without stepping in it.
And he's feeling cocky.
And now he's going to decide a genius idea.
Fuck with the janitor.
Oh, boy.
OK, play.
Oh, boy.
Oh, he's doing the yellow on his hand.
It's the truth calling.
He wants to know what I'm going to tell him.
Ah!
Oh, lady's got a necklace.
Oh, lady's got a necklace.
I love that the janitor finds love. The janitor found love.
Whoa, and she smacks her ass.
Yeah.
She smacks her ass and says she's going to get something.
Yeah.
She's into it.
What the hell?
He's got a lady. She's got a brother named him. She's got a brother named him Him and Lady
Is this Lady's first episode?
Yes
Okay so we have a
We have a
Stupid
We have a musical coming up soon
A musical number coming up
Because I know Lady
We've already done the musical episode
But we have a musical number coming up Because I know Lady Lady... We've already done the musical episode.
But we have a musical number coming up, because I know Lady... Oh, she may have appeared in an earlier episode not as Lady.
Okay.
I think she sang in that one.
Come crashing down, down, down on me.
Yeah, that's earlier. We passed that.
On me.
Look how beautiful Judy is.
Yeah, Judy and I Judy likes the same thing.
She's amazing.
Whoa. And then she does a...
And then Todd comes in, sees her licking her lips,
and says his dong woke up.
Morning. I have a feeling she's going to say that again in two weeks.
She's going to say it for the rest of the season.
The rest of the series.
Look at you looking all handsome.
You know.
All right, the guys were up all night trying to find out what could possibly be wrong with Joe.
Kelso's asleep on Cox's lap.
Cute.
Here comes Beer Fossé again.
Fossé.
Beer Fossé.
Seymour is his name.
Seymour.
Seymour.
You know, these, um, what's the matter?
Gotta sneeze.
Pause and play.
Occam's Razor.
I didn't know what Occam's Razor until we did this episode.
It doesn't matter.
I think about Occam's Razor all the time from this episode.
Yeah.
It's always what you thought it was the first time.
The simplest answer is often the right one.
Or the most obvious answer is usually the right one.
Oh, here she goes again in the parking lot.
No, you don't, JD.
Actually, I never really cared for Keith.
She's so adorable. She's so adorable.
She's so cute, Elizabeth Banks, right?
Uh-oh, slow motion.
Aw.
How'd they do that?
He has an epiphany.
That's a great...
That's called a speed ramp.
It's a speed ramp into a light thing that does that? That's probably a speed ramp. It's a speed ramp into a light thing that does that?
That's probably a post effect.
So they had, first thing's was right, it is Lyme disease.
He has a tick under his hair.
Yay.
Yay, we saved Joe.
They're all so enamored.
He's a handsome guy.
A lot of charisma.
Skanky, straw-haired, pig whore.
Wow.
I think he gets fired for that.
I think he gets his ass kicked for that.
And Judy only says, you don't have straw hair.
But she is skanky, I guess.
I mean...
And a bit of a pig whore.
All right, now we're caught up.
Now we're all caught up. Now here we are.
And uh-oh.
Time for an epiphany.
And look at my face.
Ruh-roh.
Oh, doomed. Ruh. Ro. Oh, doomed.
Cornered.
Oh, pain into a corner.
But here's the thing.
Now you can't be Elliot and get out of it.
Okay, stop it.
Oh, man.
You can't be Elliot.
JD can't be Elliot and break it off the way she broke it off.
Her reasoning for breaking it off was because
she doesn't love him anymore right it can't be you got into the relationship without being in
love JD got into the relationship without being in love so how do you break off the relationship
you say all of a sudden you know what I thought I could go through with this knowing that we didn't have feelings for each other
anymore, but I can't do it.
Yeah.
Well, I think they're trying to do it.
You are in a lot of trouble if you do that.
That's the honest.
They're trying to do it.
They're not like back together as a couple yet, right?
They're trying to do it like as friends that are going to do this, right?
They seem pretty together.
I mean, they didn't kiss
when he came home. I kissed her, right. He kissed her belly
and everything. That's a
dangerous... Excuse me for
someone who
has
children and stuff like
that. That is not the way to get into a relationship.
Well, it's a very good start to season
seven. Yes, it is. Banger of a start.
Amazing start to season seven. And thank you to Hyundai for letting us watch it at a very good start to Season 7. Yes, it is. Banger of a start. Amazing start to Season 7.
And thank you to Hyundai for letting us watch it at a drive-in here in beautiful Glendale.
In beautiful downtown Glendale.
And thank you all for watching.
This was really fun, and we love you.
Maybe we should do this again.
I mean, I know Hyundai isn't going to pay for this to happen again,
but there's something special about watching the show live with cameras in our face and then sending it out to all of you out there.
So if we get this opportunity again, please, please get on board because it's rare.
Right. And I know if you weren't if you didn't watch it while listening, there might have been some boring parts because we were watching the show.
But so fear not, we'll be back to our normal way of doing it.
I know, but we wanted to try it as an experiment.
There's a bunch of people out there
right now that are like, how come they're not talking?
Right.
I'm telling you, I think it's a fun exercise
if you want to take the time to watch it with us.
So thank you, we love you. Donald, count us out.
Bye.
See you, Donald. Count us out. Bye. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen. See you, gentlemen.
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