Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 708: My Manhood

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

On this week's episode, Cox and Turk question JD's manliness. In the real world, we define the lines of our manliness with brave phone calls to the Celtics and childhood dream camps. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season, I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger.

Janie, what are we talking about in season three? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. And the all-new Beauty Translated Loveline at 678-561-2785. Listen to Beauty Translated Season 3 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Bye. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer,

the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. There he is, everybody. America's favorite actor. Sorry for my tardiness. Yes, you're tardy. I was working out and I had to get home in time and I made it. You made it.

Well, I'm 17 minutes late. So those of you out there listening. Well, the lucky people listening didn't have to wait the 17 minutes. Well, this is what I want you to do. Now that you've heard what we've said, pause. Pause the podcast. Why? For 17 minutes. No come back to the podcast replay it and blame it on me be like fucking donald man you wasted my time today no donald i love you

and it's the last show of the year i'm sad for that because 2022 has been fucking amazing dude it has and what a great year say hi to carmen who's uh joelle's new associate producer what up carmen hello how are you doing chilling oh this is carmen i'm gonna say didn't we meet before no you met her on a call with will but she has not joined the podcast as Joelle's associate producer. Joelle is training her to be the Joelle of the future. Joelle, what are you doing? You going over to the Bangs podcast?

I'm not leaving! What did I say? I would never leave you. Are you trying to tiptoe out of here? I would never leave you. Famous last words. Famous last words. We only have two and a half seasons left of this incarnation. You better not try and leave you. Famous last words. We only have two and a half seasons left of this incarnation. You better not try and leave us.

I'm not going anywhere. But Vegas. We're going to Vegas. We got a future. We're going to Vegas. What are we speaking at? What's it called? Daniel, you know what that is.

CFO, CSA. We call it a B2B is what Will called it, a business-to-business thing. You guys are going to talk to a bunch of spots. No, but I know. But what's that famous conference in Vegas, Daniel? You'll know. Oh, CES. CES. Yeah.

That's what we're doing. Oh, shit. If you're going to CES, come see me and Donald talk something related, iHeart. We don't know. We just got a free trip to Vegas. Yo, not only is it a free trip to Vegas, it's a night in Vegas, baby. Yes. A night in Vegas.

We got to see a show. I want to see something magic. We got to see something. I know you want to see some magic. But isn't Brittany still in Vegas or some shit like that? I think Brittany's residency is over, but Usher's is still up. Usher got on some skates. I want to see him do it.

Six strippers on stage. I want to see him do the thing with the eyes. There's Adele. With his fingers in the eyes. There's Adele, right? What other residencies are there? I'll go see Adele, too. I'll see it all.

I'm trying to see some magic. Okay, that's what's up. You want to see some shit? Wait, let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question, though. Are you trying to see, like, the prestige magic? Or are you trying to see, like, pick a card, any card? Well, I think the show wouldn't be card magic.

It would probably be larger scale magic. Like, I'd love to see. David Blaine is there. David Blaine, David Copperfield, Penn and Teller, are I better there? I just love some magic. And I've never seen, it's been so long. It's been since I was a child that I saw a big magic show. Magic show?

Magic sounds fun. Casey's coming, and I know she's going to try and get us to go to Adele or some Cirque du Soleil bullshit. No, she was talking about, she's trying to get us, she was like, I want to take y'all to OG's. I was like, what? OG's? That's a gentleman's club. We're not going to thatil bullshit. No, she was talking about, she's trying to get us, she was like, I want to take y'all to OG's. I was like, what? OG's? That's a gentleman's club.

We're not going to that. Oh. But my wife said she wants to take us, so we should go. Well, you and your wife can go have a little couples night at OG's. Wait, you're not going to come with us? No, no, you guys can have a little couples night at OG's. Hey, listen, I got to tell you. I haven't got great food.

I wanted to tell you that I actually do want to see, oh, the water Cirque du Soleil show I heard is fire. No pun intended. Have heard about that. Wait a second. The water show is fire? It doesn't make sense. I know. But I've been told for years that if you see one of those Cirque du Soleil shows,

the one where they're diving and doing all this crazy shit in water is the one to see. Okay. Well, look, I want to put something out there because I don't usually do this. I just want to play some blackjack with you, dude. That's what I really care about. I want to do that too. I want to do that too, but I want to put something out there because the odds on this happening are very slim. And since we've been talking about Vegas, I'm like, well, maybe now's the time. Dear NBA, All-Star weekend is coming up. You used to call me all the time to play in your celebrity. You used to call me on my cell phone.

Late night when you need my love. Right. Y'all don't call no more. You don't call Donald no more. Y'all used to call me for the celebrity game. I'm an call no more. You don't call Donald no more. Y'all used to call me for the celebrity game. I'm an old man now. You don't want to play now. You can't keep up with your knees in that game, can you?

Listen, my son plays basketball now, and I cannot. You're right. I cannot keep up. But if put in that game, I will train like Rocky in Rocky, what is it? 20. Before Creed took over. By the way, this is probably not the best avenue. Aren't you newly friends with the owner of the Boston Celtics?

I am newly friends with the owner of the Boston Celtics. I feel like he could probably help you better than a random person listening to the podcast. I think, listen, I think Wick could help in a lot of ways, but Wick has things on his plate right now, like a championship. He's trying to win one of those this year. I know, but I bet you if they said, Mr. Wick, we have Donald Faison on the line, he would say, put him through. Do you want to practice with me? I'll be Mr. Wick. I want to test that.

Hold on. All right, go. Is his name Wick? His first name is Wick? His first name is Wick. I'm going to get his phone number up right now, now let's see if he picks up all right here we go you ready yeah this is the bravest thing i've ever done here we go good you better tell him he's live on the podcast i am

hey wick amelia it's donald ph Listen, I'm calling you live from my podcast. I've got Zach Braff, Daniel Goodman, and Joel Monique on with me. This is a random call. I was going to just call to see if you'd pick up, and you did. How's it going? Are we on right now, Donald? You are on right now. Could you just fill me in?

Who is this Zach Braff guy? Oh, man. Oh, man. Hey, listen. Listen, we encourage you man oh man listen listen we encourage you can't hear you he can't hear you would you say okay listen sir i don't know if you can hear me because donald's not very tech savvy but we are encouraging him to follow his dreams and he has a big dream that i bet you can make come true and donald will now tell you what it is go ahead donald okay are you ready? So the NBA has that solution.

Can we guess what the dream is? No, it's not what you think it is. It's not what you want to guess. You can guess. No, no, no, no. Just tell them your dream, Donald. All right, so look. I've got to believe it's a one-day contract for the Celtics, hopefully in the playoffs someday.

Yeah, how'd you know? You got it. You got it. All right, come on, Donald. Come on, you've got to drive. You got it. You got it. Come on, Donald. Come on. You got to drive. Always be closing. Always be closing. All right.

So the dream is that I would play in the celebrity all-star game this year. Like you used to. Like you used to. Like I used to when I was a young man. But this time I'd play as an old man. Well, how are you going to? Well, your acting chops can cover Old Man. That's fine.

I'll tell you what. I think it would be great. It would be great for the show project we're working on too. Why don't we get on the phone with Adam Silver right after this? If you get Adam Silver on our podcast right now, I'll lose my mind. No, not on the podcast. I'm not going to hit Adam with the podcast, but I'll tell you what. I think we have a good shot at this.

Yes, Donald. Let's make this happen. Tell him you'll call him right after the show. Can we put Zach on the other team and then just see who wins? No, say Zach can't play basketball. But Zach just wants his dreams to come true. He just wants my dreams to come true is what he's saying. Zach will be on the court side.

He'll hold up a 10 the whole time. But he'll be there. He'll be there. He'll be there. No, no, no, no. Get off the phone. You got a yes. Get off the phone.

This is an amazing idea. All right. We'll make it happen. Always get out when you get a yes. All right. I'm so fucking you, dog. Yeah, you and Casey are the bomb. Yeah.

You guys, it was really fun hanging out with you guys. And thank you for having and hosting us. Zach, I love you. All right. Tell them you're going to call them right after. I got to go. They're kicking me. They're h hanging out with you guys. And thank you for having and hosting us. Zach, I love you. Zach, I love you. All right, tell them you're going to call them right after. I got to go. They're kicking me. They're hounding.

Sorry, guys. Tell everybody who won the game. The Celtics won the game. Okay, when you get a yes, hang up, everybody. This is a lesson. When you get a yes, hang up. All right, I got to go. I'll talk to you guys later.

Thank you for picking up. And thank you for being on Fake Doctors Real Friends. Later. Later. Dude! how was it wow holy shit yes dude

yes yes merry christmas to us all and he did it didn't even need the whiteboard just made it happen

that was awesome that was a lesson in facing your fears and making shit happen wow holy cow man that's you're calling Adam Silver so Wick lesson in facing your fears and making shit happen. Holy cow, man. You're calling Adam Silver. So Wick, Gruesbeck, and Amelia Fazalary, the two of them just made my dreams come true.

Well, it sounds like when you get off the podcast, you're going to call the head of the NBA, right? Adam Silver is on my list to call list to call this that was a lesson everyone the second you get a yes get the off the phone because you're only gonna up after that say something stupid no you got a yes let's call adam silver after this okay sir thank you so much i'll call you back i gotta go you're off but this is all great for the show that i'm doing man like that he's right man the show revolves around a family that is in the nba and you need to start training those knees bro you're absolutely right that's why i'm in the gym every day right now how stoked your kid would be if he got to see you play in that i think i'll stoke my kid would be if

he saw me freaking standing next to lebron james or even better steph curry yeah stoked my kid would be if he saw me freaking standing next to LeBron James or even better, Steph Curry. Yeah. Facts. My kid would look at me like I was a freaking golden shrine. Like a statue. It's so exciting. That was so exciting. That was live manifestation.

Literally. Well, you know, Wick has the money to make dreams come true let's i mean most importantly you like and this goes for everybody you know obviously donald had access to a to a very high up person but if sometimes you have a goal you're working towards you brainstorm and go who do i know that could possibly know someone that might know someone that could make that work even doesn't have to be on the level of the nba it could be in your own life and then it's just about having the the the courage to make that call and and you got to make the call if you if you wimp out and don't make the call then you'll never know but if you if the worst thing that's going to happen is you're

going to get a no but you got to do it right it's amazing i can't believe they picked up and they were like yeah we can make this work beautiful i'm glad you got the phone because you could have said something like everybody likes a little ass play yeah and that would have i ever said anything like that to embarrass i've said a couple of things to embarrass you in meetings before i know i have but no but i went to a really fun christmas party with lots of famous people and you know you and i always mess up around famous people and yeah i i stuck landing. I did not say anything embarrassing to anybody. Well, good for you. When was this Christmas party?

The first step was not drinking too much. Always. When was said Christmas party? And why didn't you take me as your plus one? Well, because I went with Bill Lawrence. I don't know if you've heard of him. Oh, yeah. Okay. It was Conan O'Brien's Christmas party. And it was really cool, you guys.

There were so many fun, hilarious, awesome people there. And it was a blast. It was really, really cool. Oh, that's wonderful. That sounds like a lot of fun. I'm so glad I got the invitation, Conan. Well, I didn't directly get the Conan invite, although I made a joke to him.

I said, is this my audition year? Because I would really love to be invited next year. I know I'm going to be plus one. He said I could come whenever I want. But by the way, I ran into Elizabeth Banks, by the way, who definitely wants to come on the podcast. And we were laughing and telling so many stories. And she is like, hey, I know it's going to come on that time, but the dates got messed up. But like, please have me on.

So she's down. Awesome. Circle back. You know I love me some Elizabeth Banks. You know what else I ran into that I bet would come on the podcast because he's such a nice guy and super cool is Joel McHale. Ryan Reynolds. No, Joel McHale.

Oh. I love Joel. Joel is great. Everybody loves Joel. And I just feel like he lived that single camera comedy life. He could come chat with us about that life. He was on a hit little show called Community, wasn't he? Yeah.

He was. Yeah. And he's a really nice dude. Oh, he's a great dude. I've actually played basketball on the same team as Joel McHale. We've done quite a few game shows together. The person I was most psyched to see, and I met a lot of famous people,

including Michael Keaton. Oh, shit. Whoa, Batman? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Whoa, fuck. The person I was most psyched to talk to, though, to be honest, was Bill Hader,

because I love Barry. So good. And I haven't seen Bill Hader since I once was lucky enough to host SNL, but I haven't seen him since. And I got to give him all the love because I think he is a masterful filmmaker. Barry is so incredibly directed often by him. And so I got to give him all the love. That's amazing. All right. Should we talk about show scrubs? Before we count in, I just want to say um if you haven't seen my trailer it dropped

um please check it out there's been it's so fun it dropped today we're recording on thursday it dropped today but it's just been so fun um reading all the comments and all the love in in in people are sending about the trailer and i just if you haven't seen it go check it out either on my insta or on youtube or wherever you watch trailers. I'm really, really proud of it. You know, today is a magical day, dude. Your trailer dropped 10 years ago today. I was married in your backyard to my lovely wife, Casey Cobb.

You know, today is the 15th of December, man. Mark it down on your calendars. Magical things happen on the 15th of December. It's so vulnerable to put yourself out there like that, you know? But that's how you do it, though, man. You got to do it. This is your art, man. Your art must be freaking expressed, and it must be heard and seen.

Yes. And as Brene Brown tells us, we must dare greatly and put our work out there and uh and be brave that's right yes so it must my therapist told me to watch bernie brown's netflix special before i launched my trailer but i haven't i think i'm gonna get in the field position and watch it tonight yo dude look man you're an artist okay and you have a freaking gift and you have a voice and it needs to be heard. Thank you. You know what I mean?

I love you. And so I'm so proud of you and congratulations. Thank you. And I can't wait for everybody to see this movie. And it looks really good, man. Thank you. Holy shit. Can we talk about the trailer?

Yeah, please. Talk about it. First of all, I'm going to cry. It was already happening while i was watching it there were a lot of funny comments that were like why am i crying in a trailer which i love crying immediately i also you know we had talked so much about florence and morgan and morgan freeman being in it i forgot that molly shannon was in it as well yeah she shows up she's so great she's that last moment oh my god she's so funny funny so last moment? Oh, my God. Get out.

She's so funny. Funny. So funny. Thank you. You know, it's funny. A bit of trivia for Scrubs fans is that the very first episode, and some of you will know this, but the very first episode I ever directed of Scrubs was Molly was the guest star. It was the one where she was the ambulance driver. And it was kind of the moment that I learned that, oh my goodness, Molly Shannon is not only the hysterical woman we know from SNL, but she's got dramatic chops, right?

If you remember, I think I told the story when we got to that episode that there was this end shot. I didn't want to cut off of her. Bill was like, oh, should we cut to some coverage? And I was like, no, just keep it on the shot. Look at this performance Molly Shannon's giving. And so that was so many years ago. And now I was able to call her and ask her to be in the film.

And she's just incredible and the most amazing human. I can't wait to see this. She's starting to be recognized as an amazing actress too. You know what I mean? You say her name now and people are like,

oh, she's really good. I know. She's not just a superstar girl anymore. Wait till till people see darlin you've seen the movie i've seen yeah she's amazing dude she's amazing she's amazing and and and that's really interesting you know that's another thing that i love it's like you find people that you just would never expect these type of performances from and then you get this and then you get what you get you know what i mean like you don't expect this from molly you know what i mean jim parsons was look man i'm gonna keep it 100 with you jim i love you and i'm very happy that your career is taking off and everything like that but my boy found you i did discover jim parsons i do i I do want full credit for Jim Parsons. My boy found you, buddy.

In Garden State. You are a millionaire now. Shout out Zach Braff. I want to say that for those of you, some people have commented that the legendary Jackie Hoffman in the trailer is the woman who's screaming about the guy being a fuck boy. the guy being a fuck boy. And she is, not only is she just a legendary New York and theater comedian and actress, but she's the woman in Garden State who makes me the shirt. She's the one who says,

will you try on the shirt in case we don't see you for another nine years? She was great. The best part is when she came to do her cameo in the movie i said i'm so happy you're doing this because it's sort of like a little easter egg for garden state fans and she goes yeah maybe maybe next time don't wait 17 years to call she's amazing in the trailer all right please watch the trailer guys It's called The Good Person And here we go

5, 6, 7, 8 Here's some stories About a show we made About a bunch of docs and nurses And a janitor who loved to hate I said here's the stories That we all should know So gather round to hear our

Gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald Alright, let's talk about this episode. Yeah, let's get into it. Because at first I was like, what the hell is this? Well, I think it's an important episode. It may not be the funniest episode, but it really does boil down to one of the main themes that I thought Scrubs was getting at that the world is just now really talking about openly, which is gender and masculinity. Right, Joelle?

Yes. Yes, 100%. I mean, this theme of this is what does it mean to be a man? And this is a 2007, was it, point of view. That's not that far away but jd is wrestling with the other men telling him that he's not manly enough and and that he's going to cox is telling him that he's going to not be a a good enough role model to his son because he's not the alpha male you know it's not even alpha male he's just not freaking he's not doing with he's not following

the pat you know what i mean and doing what the pat wants once you know i if if if we are talking alpha at this point turk is the alpha in the hospital and is running the hospital and cox well cox not so much cox is shown that as tough as you may be it's easy to take down you know you you you can walk around and be all puffy chest all you want but i got your number you know somebody has your number eventually you know what i mean you're gonna get you're gonna get taken down eventually so cox at the end of it isn't throughout the episode the janitor really is the alpha because he's the one that's freaking dictating what's going on in the hospital but turk with his wrestling and fighting with everybody you know and jd with his you know it's not he's just i wouldn't say alpha i wouldn't say alpha i because at the end of it all we learned

that you don't need to be an alpha male you don't need to be this freaking no that's the lesson it teaches but i'm saying what the episode is talking about at a time before people were openly talking about um gender and gender norms and the and toxic masculinity quote unquote um i think this show in and of itself with our relationship was talking about um um masculinity and what it and what it what it's supposed to be and i think one of the things that was groundbreaking about the show, people have told us over the years, was they saw that you didn't have to be those archetypes. You know? I've spoken about this.

You know, we were, in my school, if you weren't jockey and, I don't know, what's the word, Joelle? Preppy, maybe? What? Preppy, maybe? What? Preppy hanging with those kids? No. Not preppy. Preppy is just the way you dress.

But I just, if you weren't, I don't know. I just think that we're seven years into this show, and Bill's finally taking it head on, talking about what is masculinity, and what does it mean, and aren't there different types of men? And isn't it okay to be whatever kind of man you are? That you are. Yeah. Yeah. masculinity and what does it mean and what, and, and, and aren't there different types of men who, who, and isn't it okay to be the kind of whatever kind of man you are? That you are. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I think that is the tone of the show. All right. Written by the lovely Angela Nissel and directed by.

Michael McDonald. Mike McDonald, who, who is not only the director of the episode, but in the episode as the husband of the angry patient, because JD is just, she has a cold and she wants a pelvic exam. not only the director of the episode, but in the episode as the husband of the angry patient, because J.D. is just, she has a cold and she wants a pelvic exam. She really wants J.D. to bring it. Sans gloves. She wants J.D. to enter

her without without protection, is what she's asking. She's asking J.D. to enter her. Insert, yeah, yes. And he goes, no, it's not normal to do that for a cold. But anyway, she's trying to have sex with him. And then she wants him to get rough.

He's like, I'm going to go through you. And we learn later that JD has to scratch her. In order to get away. Yeah, because we learn that he's not necessarily a good fighter, and the technique he uses with this patient is scratching her. I would have loved to have seen that on camera, though. That would have been funny if she's grabbing on him, and finally she goes, ah, like arches her back.

Yeah. Ah! That would have been funny. And Janie's standing there with his one nail. so Turk who's Mr. Macho alpha male jock stereotypic surgeon guy has gotten into what's called remote

wrestling that's when all the docs are fighting over all the docs are fighting over who has control of the remote in the break room and the Todd is dressed appropriately the Todd says I got next and when we cut back to him he's in a banana hammock, ready to go. Yes.

Very ready to go. That shit jiggled again, dude. It jiggles every time. It jiggles every time. Yeah. It's not like made of normal penis material. It's made out of like jello. Yeah.

It's like. That shit moves. You know those like wiggle worms we had as a kid there was like a plastic uh thing filled with like gel yeah it's like that it just no matter what he didn't even jump up and down he didn't even like shake it just he goes he goes i got next and And that thing goes, jiggle, jiggle. Yeah. I like to jiggle, jiggle. My money don't jiggle, jiggle. Yeah. Anyway. His penis jiggle, jiggles.

Yeah, it does. So Kelso tells the janitor that nobody cares what he thinks. And that really upsets him. And he decides, yes. Understandably, because that's so insulting. And he gathers some members of the brain trust, notably Doug and Todd, and says, we're going to do a newsletter to prove. Called the janitorial. Yeah, to prove that it matters what I think.

And he's like, but we need an investigative reporter. Somebody who no one knows is ever around. Like, could be sitting under their nose and not know that they're there. And he looks over and he's like, oh, hey, Ted, you been there long? He's like, no. And Ted's like, no, I've been, you remember I was sitting in that chair and you told me to get up and move? No, I think he sat on him at first. Right, he goes, and you sat on me, and then you got up,

and you were like, hey, you got to move, and you put me in this chair. And then, hey, janitor, because the janitor's forgotten that Ted's there again. He goes, hey, janitor. And the janitor turns to him and goes, oh, hey, Ted. Yeah, poor Ted. Nobody even notices him.

Nobody notices him around ever. And then when they do they forget that he's around yeah poor guy poor guy but now everybody in the hospital is going to know that turk doesn't have a nut because of that well don't spoiler alert oh did i go too far did i go too far we're going to talk about your nut because it's one of the most bizarre fantasies in scrubs history and um my nut fan the nut fantasies with, the Turk nut fantasies get crazy, man. This isn't the only one. This isn't your only nut fantasy.

Yeah, it'll get crazier. You as a plant that wants to kill me grown out of a testicle, I don't know what an NFT is, but if that's one, I'd like to buy it. It's magical. Dude, you go with the conditions. The scene starts off, the conditions are just right we're getting there you jumped ahead all right so elliot goes us into the men's bathroom uh where there's all this graffiti and she sees in the stall that her butt has a rating of 9.2

which she assumes is out of 10 and um but was like, well, she goes 9.2. She goes, whoop. Thank goodness this hospital's full of white guys. Yes, because implying that African-American men would not give that butt a 9.2. No. Because it's flat. Yes.

I thought she has a nice tushy, but again, I am a white guy. I don't know. I might give it a 9.5 even. But Kelso will soon ruin that for her and say, hey, just so you know, that's out of 100. So Kelso is being forced out of the hospital. And we're to believe early on that he's on the phone complaining about it to Enid. And he tells Elliot to keep it a secret and not let anybody know that he's, you know, what's going on with him and how he doesn't want to be forced out and this is what's happening. Right.

And immediately when Elliot says to Kelso, I promise you your secret's safe with me, Carla, who loves secrets- Yes, obsessed. She needs to know. Can't keep secrets. She needs to know the tea. Isn't that what the kids say, Joelle?

Yeah. She's like, the T has been poured. The T. When can I get a sip? At T time. Everybody agrees. Yep. So she needs to hear the T.

Carla is one of those people, if there is gossip and she has not been told, she can't function. No. I don't know if you know people like this in your life, but if there's a secret and they're not in on it, their day shuts down. They're like, I need to know. I need to know. I need to know. And they will do anything and everything to find out. Yeah.

I'm going to be honest with you. I thought that's what Carla was doing the whole time when she was with the whole, when we get into the show, Elliot's patient, I thought Carla was being sympathetic to Elliot to try and trick her into telling her what Kelso told her. But it's real talk, man. Elliot's great at keeping secrets. Yes. She held it together.

She held it together the whole way. J.D. wants to show his child West Side Story. This is supposed to be treated as like, oh, that's not mannish. J.D. wants to show his child West Side Story. This is supposed to be treated as like, oh, that's not mannish. And Cox is making fun of him and holding his child and saying, here, I want you to see how

effeminate, I guess, your father is. And then of course... It sounds like this storyline kind of upsets you a little bit. It sounds like it. It doesn't upset me, but it taps into my real life as a high school kid. And I didn't play sports at all. I was into the theater.

I was into musicals. My bar mitzvah theme was musicals, as you know. Lauryn Hill attended. We've spoken about this. Let's hear it for the boy. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I was a class clown, so I made people laugh and I made friends. But there was, you know, at the time, as we all know, if you were of a certain age, you were called gay and that was meant to be derogatory.

Like, oh, you're so gay. You're such a pussy you know all these all this sort of bullying that was related to not being um mannish enough so i totally obviously relate to uh to that right on yeah you know i did play sports in high school but i went to a high school with a bunch of actors and stuff like that yeah you know your story doesn't count because you went to a high school with a bunch of actors and stuff like that. Yeah, you know, your story doesn't count because you went to like the, like one of the preeminent acting schools in Manhattan. That's not, you didn't experience like that public school Jersey life. No, I did not. I wish I'd gone to your school.

You would have been probably one of the most popular kids in school if you went to my school. Well, what would happen is I would go to theater camp and it was like, oh. Because like I was straight. I remember when you told me that. So many of the young boys already knew they were gay, and you were cool if you were good, and I was pretty good. And so it was like, right as you're going through puberty, like, half the boys at the camp are taken out of contention

because they already know they're gay and you're just i was like fucking fonzie at this place i remember when you told me for the first time dude no i went to theater camp and i was like that's a thing there's actually a thing called theater camp and you're like yeah i went to shakespeare camp too i was like there's a fucking shakespeare i didn't go to shakespeare camp but i but i went to theater camp at Stage Door Manor and I would sob when I left. It was like, I didn't want to leave.

It was heaven. It was like someone showed me Utopia and they were like, okay, that's six weeks. It's up. We're going to go back to public school in Jersey. I wish I would have known that growing up. I wish I would have known about this growing up. That would have been my jam. It was heaven.

I would have loved that shit. Are you kidding? It was heaven. All day long you perform and hang out with kids that are like you, especially if you're a kid that didn't really fully fit in. I just never felt like my... I was like, where's my... I had a posse. I had friends. I just never really... I just always felt different. And then I went and found theater kids and I was like, and I should mention that I didn't really do theater in high school because I was like so many kids obsessed with the way that I looked and I didn't want to be, I wanted to try and fit in and be cool. And I was just doing all this stuff that wasn't me. You know, I watched like Glee when I was, you know, when it first

started and I was like, oh, I would have loved to have been like with these kids, you know um i watched like glee when i was you know when it first started and i was like oh i would have loved to have been like with these kids you know right unfortunately that shit doesn't exist like that man glee ain't glee is a fantasy well i think in some schools they're they're no i i disagree i think in some schools depending on the school there is a a healthy and and acceptance of of being a theater kid and being a singer and there's community there. And I probably could have found it myself, but I was too obsessed with trying to fit in and look cool

and hang out with the jocks and hang out with the cool kids. I'm saying that shit is a fantasy. Ain't nobody fucking singing down the hallways fucking talking about somebody said you got a new friend. We used to do jazz club after school hours. We were in the hallway dancing, singing. Listen, listen. Nerdy as hell.

Fame. Y'all can say what y'all want to say, but fame, glee, all of these shows. You went to an acting school. There weren't kids. Nobody ever danced on a goddamn table with a jukebox, with a boombox, talking about I'm going to live forever. That shit didn't happen. Well, I'm not talking about the heightened version.

I'm talking about the reality version. Right. That's what I'm saying. Glee. Fame. All right. So the janitorial is the newspaper that they make. And they reveal that it's a tri-daily.

I don't know how any of these people are going to get any work done. I mean, we know that, I don't know how much work Todd is doing. I mean, he's supposed to be one of the top surgeons at the hospital, although he never seems to be doing surgery. This whole episode has moments where you're like, these guys are doctors? Well, first of all, when is Doug doing any of his morgue duties? Because not only is he working for a tri-daily newspaper at the hospital. But he's hiding.

We learned that he hangs out underneath the nurse's station because. He's developed a foot fetish. From doing all, from tying all the toe tags on the dead bodies, he's developed a foot fetish. That is disgusting. That is some trippy shit. Doug. Yeah, he's got to shake it up. He's tired of all the cold, dead feet, so he's looking for some live feet.

So what does this mean? What is he doing in the morgue with cold, dead feet? Well, I don't think that it's not implied that he does anything appropriate. He's just developed a fondness for them. By the way, I got a guy in my life, and you met him. We're not going to out him because, you know, to each their own. But he's genuinely a real foot fetish guy. Like he could be with someone solely because of their toes

and loving their toes. Okay. Yeah, I wish that's how deep it got for me. I wish that's how deep it got. I don't think I saw that movie, but isn't there an Eddie Murphy movie where he can't be with someone because she has bad feet? Yeah, that's Boomerang.

You've never watched Boomerang? I never saw Boomerang, no. Oh, you've got to watch Boomerang. It's a classic, dude. It's a classic. But I do, I remember seeing the scene where like her feet got revealed. He goes, how somebody that fine got hammer time in her shoes? Oh, man.

Yeah. Anyway, so let's take a break. We're going to take a break, and we come back. We are going to talk about more of the television show Scrubs, one of the greatest pieces of television history. We'll be right back after. Wait, what do you want to say, Donald? Eat these bowls, history. We'll be right back after. Wait, what do you want to say, Donald? We'll be right back.

Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. Probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a a certain extent, is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much

bigger than me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, my name's Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan, and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station, playing Oscar Grant, which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance.

In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions.

I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.

You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death.

He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions. Limitless answers.

Hold on. I want to give you the other. I want to give you some of these jazz hits, some that people haven't heard in a while. Let me hear it. Because you know they like this one. Hammer back! That's what that sounds like to me.

This one's labeled hard riff. Hammer back! This one's labeled hard riff. This one's labeled scratch. Can you imagine someone wanting to work at like... His name is Danil. His name is Danil. No, these aren't Danils. This came with this mixer. Someone was like, hey, Jim,

we need you to come up with something called hard riff today, and we're going to put it in the machine. It's going to come with the machine. He's like, am I going to get rights to hard riff? No, no, no. Jim, you're going to sign away hard riff, and it's going to be a part of the machine. Dude, fucking nailed it. That sounds about it.

He nailed it. Oh, Jim. He nailed it. Oh, Jim. He nailed the and we're back music very well. And we're back! Yeah, yeah. Okay, so Turk and JD are proud of their friendship because they made the front page of the janitorial. It's a hit.

The janitorial's a hit, and everyone in the hospital is reading it and Turk and JD made the front page and they're like our best friend our best friendism is the best thing in the hospital so yeah we make the front of the paper and um and we're so stoked because we're proud but but again Cox returns to saying oh you're proud that you got your ass whooped like you know how aren't you embarrassed yeah but then something comes up where jd is now named he named he's named people by is it how they make him feel or anything because thanks herpes oh he's a guy silver bullet for everybody in the hospital for crocs he's like oh it's too bad uh not everyone's got a dad like you who's a borderline alcoholic.

And Cox walks off in a huff. And then the nurse is like, oh, you got him. And he's like, thanks, herpes. He's got one locked and loaded for everyone. It's like a stand-up comedian that has ways to deal with hecklers, locked and loaded. I saw the funniest thing. I'm sorry I don't remember the stand-up's name. But he said to a hecklers, you know, locked and loaded. I saw the funniest thing. I'm sorry I don't remember the stand-up's name,

but he said to a heckler, he goes, there's nothing you can say to me. I haven't said to myself seven inches from a mirror. I've seen that guy. That was funny. Yeah, some people are losing their mind. No, some people are actually getting up on the stage. Hecklers are.

By the way, being a stand-up comedian, that's a tough racket. It was always a tough racket, but now it's like ridiculous. Now it's crazy. You need to have a taser on your belt. There's so many people who are standing up in front of comedians like, what the fuck

did you come to the comedy club for? What was you doing there? What did you show up for? and then other people like one one one i saw one now this is some bullshit where the audience members said your jokes sound like you're a democrat like what the fuck are we talking about here like holy shit dude like that's where it's going? That's where comedy is now? That's a tough racket. That is a tough racket.

Like, to all my stand-up comedian friends out there, I freaking adore your resilience, man. Like, that's a long fucking journey, man. And you've got to have tough skin to do it. It's so impressive. I've never done it, and I admire so many people who do it. Elliot reveals to Carla that she had a dream where she banged Kelso and he was half dolphin. Yes, which half though? And Carla asks, which half?

I'm hoping the bottom half. Well, how would she bang Kelso with the bottom half? It's too- Don't dolphins have penises? Yeah, they do. They must come out, right? Joelle, can you Google that? How does the dolphin...

Joelle's browser's... I'm sure that the dolphin has one of those things that comes out of the bottom in some gross way. Because it would be weird if they were having sex and she was like, do you like it? And he's like... All right. I love that's the dreams that's the top half that's if the top half is dolphin yeah but yeah i guess it's probably funnier if you were to go to the fantasy that you obviously couldn't go to on on primetime tv if it was the head part that was there but how would you know it was kelso if it was the head part that was there. But how would you know it was Kelso if it was the bottom part?

That's what I'm saying. The bottom part would have to be dolphin in the head. Yeah, I think for the joke, it would have to be Kelso's top with a dolphin body. Right. Joelle, any news on how the penis comes out of the dolphin? It just comes out. Yes.

It does its thing, and there it is. Is there a video? No. I was looking at photos. it does its thing and it's there it is their video i was looking at photos i did not i did not search have you ever seen the video of the turtles banking by the way you gotta if you're listening audience i normally don't want you to pause the show but you can pause the show for two things to go watch my trailer for a good person on youtube but also there's these really funny videos of turtles having sex and they make a noise that sounds a lot like, wow. When they're, when they're, when they're, when they're, when they're fucking.

And so there's these hilarious videos where they're like, they're fucking and he's going, wow. Wow. Wow. It's amazing. I love that you were trying to figure out a pc way to say fucking and then you were like fuck it i'm just gonna say fucking yeah you're like they were they were fucking with the audience but audience please look up turtles fucking saying wow you're welcome that sounds like a strand of weed turtles fucking saying wow now here's one of the favorite we learned that jd got beat strand of weed turtles fucking saying wow i'm gonna smoke this shit out of that smoke that

shit um now here's one of the favorite we learned that jd got beat up in college and he's missing large chunks of that school year right and um well he got he got beat up his his his uh his strategy was to catch the person's fist in his face over and over again. Yeah, not a good technique. And his logic is he only had one fractured skull, but that guy had two fractured knuckles. That doesn't make a lot of sense. At the end of the day. That must have hurt.

JD wanted to fight. JD, he wants to be a good role model for um for sam and and turk um and jd i've made this pact that turk is gonna teach um sam his son about sports and stuff and then jd is gonna quote be in charge of izzy's emotional crap right So this is another commentary on like, look, I'm a tough guy and I'm going to do the sports stuff. And I'm going to teach you sports. You're not a tough guy. You deal with the

emotional shit. You got to teach the soft shit. Right. And then there's a line that's very famous and beloved in Scrubs. This is actually one of my favorite lines also, though. This is a very popular meme that I've seen.

But this is actually, but when you put it together, this sums up our relationship. In real life. In real life and in the show. Well, the lines are, Turk, we're not married. And Turk says, dude, we're a little married. And I say, I know, I love it. We are a little married. We I say, I know. I love it. We are a little married. We're in a thruple.

We are in a thruple. In real life. In real life, we are in a thruple. I don't get any of the benefits other than the friendship. But we're in a thruple. That's a benefit. That is a benefit. No, I love it.

No, I love it. No, I love it. I fucking love it. No, I really love it. No, I love it. See, that's the thing, though. Whenever you're single, the thruple, it goes strong. But when you're not single-

The thruple thrives? The thruple thrives? The thruple thrives when you're single. But when you're not single, when you're in a relationship, the thruple's put on hold. I kind of like it when you're single. I'm not going to lie. The thruple's thriving. I want you to know I got your daughter some beautiful earrings for Christmas.

Oh, boy. She's my goddaughter. I got to take care of my goddaughter. I know, but listen, dude, man, she's seven years old. Don't get her that heavy shit. They're little. Don't get her that heavy shit yet. They're not like big hoops.

Don't get her that heavy shit yet because I want her ears to look like. This was on advice from your wife. I said, what do I get her? She said, just get her some simple earrings. But you know I didn't go simple. I did get her a little look like. This was on advice from your wife. I said, what do I get her? She said, just get her some simple earrings. But you know, I didn't go simple. I did get her a little bling. She's my goddaughter. I got to spoil my goddaughter.

No doubt. No doubt. No doubt. And I took Rocco, too. He's got some Nike stuff coming to him. I heard he likes Steph Curry, but I don't know what to buy Steph Curry. So I just got him some Nike stuff. Steph is with Under Armour. I'm not going some Nike stuff. Steph is with Under Armour.

I'm not going to diss Under Armour, but it ain't Nike. Yeah. Do you wear any Under Armour? No. Like, no. No disrespect, Under Armour. I'm sure you developed a great product. Yeah, you know what's going to happen?

They're going to be like, this year's celebrity NBA match sponsored by Under Armour. Right. Donald Faison no longer invited. Donald Faison recently cut for dissing Under Armour. I truthfully hope I do get invited to this. I'm going to work my ass off. I think it's going to happen. First of all, did you put it on your whiteboard?

I did not put it on my whiteboard. I should put it on your whiteboard? I did not put it on my whiteboard. I should put it on my whiteboard. Well, listen, the gentleman who owns the Celtics, Wick, is going to call for you. That seems like a good call. Yes. I believe it is. You probably know people in your Rolodex who are still related to the game,

and you can be like, put me in coach you know the last time i played in that game we lost and i was on magic johnson's team and magic was the coach and all i know is magic is mad at me i mean and he is it was it was my fault i made the bad pass he was really mad oh my dude he did not look at... You think this is a joke, Daniel, but he was the coach of one team and Dr. J was the coach of the other team. And Magic... Oh, okay.

Yeah, now look, let me tell you. I don't know if you've watched Game... What is it? Game Time? Yep. Right? When Magic came in the league, Dr. J was everybody's idol idol and he would charm the shit

out of you and then get you on the basketball court and bust your ass and you're like doc it's me and he's like i don't give a fuck i'm trying to win you know what i mean right and so doc kind of charmed the shit out of me look my mom doc doc used to come over to my mom's house when they were kids and stuff like that. Doc is a, you know what I mean? Like, oh, no, word life. Every time I see him, he's like, how's your mom? I'm like, oh, she's good. But it's Dr. J too, though.

You know what I mean? And so like every time I see him, I'm like, because my mom grew up in Massachusetts and he went to UMass and shit like that. So anyway, every time I see Doc, I'm like, you know, part of me is like, he's kind of like a family member to me because of the way my mom described him. And then every time I see him, he shows me so much love because of his love for my mother. Right. So it's like, Hey, right. Let me tell you something, man. He put that charm on me and we went out on the basketball court and I'm trying to win the game and we lose. And at the end of the game, I'm kind of like, oh, well, you know, I lost to Doc's team. It's all right.

Magic wasn't happy about that. Magic was not happy about that shit at all. Matter of fact, he gave me the hand. You know how when you shake somebody's hand and you're really not fucking with them, you give them five and then you kind of look the other way like, you know what I mean? I got that from magic, dog. I was like, oh, shit. I fucked up.

Maybe it's water under the bridge. It was my fault, though. I will accept the blame. Who would you say? I have an interesting question for you. Who would you say would be in this year's team that you're going to be on, because we're manifesting it, is the best non-professional actor, celebrity on the team?

Well, look, this is how I think it should go. I'm just asking who do you think is going to be on it? I don't know. That I don't know. But if you're asking me who should play basketball, they got to get Adam Sandler in there, because Adam's going across to, he plays a lot of basketball. You got to get Adam Sandler in there because Adam's going across. He plays a lot of basketball. You got to get Quavo in there because Quavo plays a lot of basketball.

I'm trying to think of who else. Barack Obama ain't president no more. I don't think Barack's going to play. I would bust Barack's ass too. Wow. Dan will cut that. Leave it in. There's going to be secret service outside your door in a couple seconds.

That's all right. Anyway, but like, I mean, if you ask me who I think the best celebrity basketball player, I mean, you could get Michael B. Jordan is a really good basketball player. Jesse Williams is a really good basketball player. Jesse Williams is, huh? Yeah. Like, the list is ridiculous. I'm seeing his penis. I know a lot of people have Jesse Williams is, huh? Yeah. Like the list is ridiculous. His penis.

I know a lot of people have, if they went to the, yeah, if they went. I'm just trying to contribute to this conversation. Hi, this is Shannon Doherty host of the new podcast. Let's be clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. You probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you to talk about

why i feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer because i think that there's something so much bigger than me and to be honest i'm still trying to find out what that is and maybe together we, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station playing Oscar Grant which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites,

further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want

is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast,

Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox. You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your

kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty. Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end and many many more join me on season three of many questions on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your favorite podcasts seven questions limitless answers all right let's get back into the show back to the show scrubs and um so let's jump off of jesse williams penis yeah back into the show we'll come back to it so they have a male again in terms of masculinity they have a male patient who has breast cancer which uh of course is a real thing. And John, the patient, is so embarrassed that he won't even tell his brothers because he's humiliated that he has breast cancer. We got to go back.

So him and his brothers have like a real macho, machismo attitude about shit anyway because when they're coming into the hospital one of them is uh describing uh encounter that the other one had as gay and carla even kind of you know jumps in on it and so when he finds out he has breast cancer the last thing he wants is for his brothers to do that again which is like you know that's that's really fucking that's when it gets deep like that like your homophobia is really starting to it it's it's gonna kill you pretty much man you got you're not gonna ask for help because you're scared of how you're gonna make your friends and family feel yeah because but i bet this is real i mean i bet this comes from oh i'm sure it

is i'm listen i'm sure it is. Listen, I'm sure it is. I'm sure the story wasn't pulled out of the blue. There are people that are racist to black people and then see their doctor's black and it's like, not that person. I don't want that person operating on me. So it exists. It exists.

Bigotry exists no matter what. Well, this isn't necessarily bigotry as much as it's sort of, I don't know, what would you call it? Insecurity in your own- It's homophobia. Homophobia? It's a homophobia. Joelle, what would you call this? Yeah.

Him not wanting his friends to know he has breast cancer. Well, and it's kind of misogynistic because you view breast cancer as like a woman's disease that you shouldn't have. Right. And he's embarrassed because he has a woman's disease. Right. That's fucking crazy. Come on, man. After she says to him, this is how deep it gets though.

After she says to him, dude, anybody could get this. Right. Anybody could get this. I don't know what the statistics are, but it's not known as something that people associate with men getting it. Obviously, they can get it. But it's not known as, you know, even, I don't know what the statistics are, but it's not known as something that people associate with men getting it. Obviously, they can get it. And so because it's known as a female thing, he's embarrassed because he's, you know, afraid of being seen as less than a man. I mean, that's the whole theme of the episode, right?

Yeah. Cox is furious because the janitor has put it into the tri daily newspaper that he wants cuddles and attention and everyone in the hospital is putting their hands on him and trying to give him love which is of course the opposite of what he wants and he's furious with the janitor and says if you i'll give you an exclusive for your stupid newspaper if you stop this nonsense. What is amazing is that the janitor says people believe what they read online. Yeah. And that holds so true now.

This many years later, yeah. This many years later, that holds. I don't know if it was that true then, but now forget about it. People will even say to you, what do you mean? I read it online. Yeah. They'll even use that as a defense the crazy talk about i read that online have you ever read like something about yourself online like an anecdote you're like that is absolutely not true and did not happen at all but you're like it's like you're not gonna try and fight the internet you're like all right that's out there that's what it is but none of that happened but

okay yeah like me like me being an uncle buck i can't get rid of that shit it says you were an uncle buck and imdb says i was an uncle buck i am not an uncle buck at all there's people that have watched the movie and said i saw you in uncle buck and i'm like i'm not an uncle buck well i was one of those to clear up i was a very young man, young boy when Uncle Buck came out. This is a high school show. I wasn't even in high school. And there's a kid who's black that kind of looks like me in Uncle Buck. And when the car goes boom and explodes, everybody says, I saw you in Uncle Buck.

I'm like, fuck you. I'm not in Uncle Buck. Well, my version of that is, and this is a big one, because this has come up many times in my life, everyone. Daniel, some timpani. I did not ever do a cameo on 30 Rock. There is somebody who looks like me who once did a cameo. I think he's playing some sort of drum or something.

But I get asked all the time if I was on 30 Rock. I'm mentioned on 30 Rock by Jack McBriar because he sneaks on, I think, to the Conan set. And he's pretending he's on the show. And he's like, why, yes, Conan. I'm so happy to be on. And yes, I do live with my roommate, Zach Braff, or something like that. There's some mention of me. Very interesting that you went to a Conan party for Christmas, and now we're talking about Conan.

And by the way, he was there, and Jack was there. Really? I wasn't there. No. Larry David was there, too. You know what's fucked up, man? I did Conan. Very cool party.

This is where I'm a little hurt now. Oh, you know who else was there? I didn't tell you? You're going to be really bummed about this. Fucking A, I'm going to be bummed. Here we go. Who? J.J. Abrams. Well'm going to be bummed. Here we go. JJ Abrams. JJ Abrams was there.

Me and JJ got beef now. Me and JJ got beef now. I love you, JJ, but we got beef, man. JJ didn't make the invite list to Conan's party. I don't know why you have beef with him. No, we got beef because the motherfucker didn't put me in Star Wars, man. All right. Well, we're not done yet.

We're not done with Star Wars. They're going to make lots more. Check this out. How about your buddy Henry Cavill getting fired from the DC Universe? Can we have? All right. Well, we're not done yet. We're not done with Star Wars. They're going to make lots more. Okay, but look, check this out. How about your buddy Henry Cavill getting fired from the DC Universe? Can we have... All right, listen. I know you guys are supposed to be here for Scrubs, but we need five minutes to talk. Five seconds to talk.

Not five minutes. We're going to do one solid minute. One minute to talk about this. If you hit skip twice on your thing, you can miss it. Clock is ticking now. Dude. Holy shit. I feel bad for the guy, really because they they left him out they hung him out to dry there is don't you feel that way like he they brought him back i feel like they made

him announce he was coming back only to make him announce he's not coming back you know what i mean like that's kind of that's kind of weird now i will say this i will say this james gunn is in my opinion the dc movies that he's done are the better dc movies like in fairness to james gunn he came in and had a new mandate he didn't have anything to do with that and he said hey i'm that's not it's like it's like a ceo new ceo of a company being like i know that you were just hired as the cfo but i I'm going to bring in my own CFO. I'm sorry. It's not his fault. He just was saying, no, sorry, we're under new management now, and that's not the direction we're going.

James Gunn said he was going to give Henry another role in the DCU that they wanted. He should be Superman. This is me personally. He should be Superman. I don't know if he's the best Superman, but he was Superman. No, they're trying to. And it, and it. No, they're trying to restart the thing, dude. I saw, I saw.

I'm not going to lie. Those movies, those movies weren't my favorite movies. They weren't my favorite movies. None of them were, to be honest with you. But you know what I did like? I did like Ben Affleck as Batman. It took me a while, but I did like him as Batman. And I did like Henry Cavill as freaking Superman. You know what I mean?

And I did like freaking, uh, Gal as Wonder Woman. And I, I like Jason uh gal as wonder woman and i i like jason momoa as aquaman the movie sucked but they were cool they were cool cast i think he said something like i read today that he's gonna go young way younger with it too so that that's fine too i'm i'm cool with that people keep asking me how come donald faze on his inner movie and i said he's a wonderful actor but he can't play 84 um so but um if there's a sequel um i will have you play older morgan freeman we'll do some prosthetic makeup you're gonna have to pay me more though that's all right you had me you had me the first time now you're gonna pay your brother can you do um a morgan freeman impression well a Morgan Freeman impression? Well, Zach, I think I can. All right, let's finish up this episode here.

Sorry, we're back, everybody. Sorry, we had to do a quick DC moment. I don't even watch these movies, but I know how giddy it makes these three. Well, it makes me and Joel. I don't know about Daniel. Daniel is... Daniel cares more about video games. Exactly.

He's more into video games. Daniel's like is it in the verse is it in the new verse that's coming out Danil wants to talk about Elder Rings right Danil

did that win game of the year did that win game of the year yes Elder Rings game of the year 100%

do you like Elder Rings Danil no not my style of game but it is the best game of the year hands down does it look like

Red Dead it looks better than Red Dead bullshit okay Danil you should go see Avatar is it look like Red Dead? It looks better than Red Dead. Bullshit. No, that's true. Is the play like Red Dead? It's the different games. Yes, I really want to go see Avatar.

Are you in it Saturday? Does it look dope, guys? Yes, it looks amazing. It looks dope. Everything I read says that you may be able to criticize things about it, but that it looks incredible. Also, how can you bet against James Cameron?

Every movie he makes is a blockbuster smash hit. Well, he makes good action flicks. That's for damn sure. But let me ask you this. Did you like the first Avatar? I did. Not the story, but it was pretty. I enjoyed it.

I thought it was fun. It was a movie. It was a blockbuster. Turk has a testicle removed. Yes. JD finds out via Carla. Here's what we were talking about earlier. And he's very shocked.

He says, did you keep it? And Turk says, why would I? Which, of course, is the beautiful tee up for a very twisted fantasy where they plant Turk's testicle. And they come back and it's grown into Donald. It's grown into plant Turk. And he's got a leaf over his junk.

And he talks like this. And he doesn't he hasn't really learned English fully yet, but he JD says, it's okay, Plant Turk. Friends.

Friends? And then Plant Turk tries to kill JD. And then JD says, Turk, we have to find your nut, we have to find your ball, and we have to destroy it.

Yeah. Things you never thought you'd hear i mean if you planted it it's funny that bill's mind or whomever's mind said that if you planted a testicle it would grow if you plant a nut plant if you if you plant a nut yeah if you plant a nut that's the that's the that's the it'll grow into another plant. And then we learn, as he chases JD, we go to another fantasy where a runner is asking a doctor for speed to remove both his balls and shaft. Yes. Because he feels like it'll help him run faster. Why stop there? Right.

Hell, if it made me run faster, you could take my... And then it cuts. Yeah, they cut right off. He doesn't even get the D out. He gets the D out. Maybe he's like, you can cut off my... And then JD crashes into a cart and he says, never fantasize while running. Now, here's the question. Yeah.

If you could develop some type of superpower, would you cut off testicles? Oh, my God. No, I want my testicles. What's the superpower? What do I get for that? Mind reading. Invisible cloak?

Mind reading. Can I turn it on and off? I think being able to read minds would ruin your life. You could turn it on and off. Facts. I think it would ruin your life. It's like winning the lottery. You could turn it on and off? I think being able to read minds would ruin your life. You could turn it on and off. Facts. I think it would ruin your life. It's like winning the lottery. You could turn it on and off.

You think it's great. You could turn it on and off. You could turn it on and off. I have to give up my scrotum? You have to give up sack. Am I allowed? Am I to give up sex or sack? Sack.

Oh. Okay, I have a couple questions. Am I allowed to shoot some meaningful loads into a test tube to one day have a child? Sure. You can do all of that. You don't have to give up sex. You just have to give up sack. And you get the ability to read minds.

And I can have babies via test tube. And your test tube babies can be born, yes. Okay, yeah. I'll do it. Wait, can I have fake nuts in my sack or the sack's totally gone? No, you have just shaft. Just shaft. Just shaft, no balls now.

Oh, my God. Okay. But I can mind read and I can turn it on and off. All shaft, no balls. But I can mind read and I can turn it on and off. You can turn off mind reading. Okay. I think it would probably ruin my life to read minds, but I like this idea.

I'll do it. Yeah, I don't think it- Hey. Thunders applause, Daniel. Hey! Applause, Daniel. Daniel, would you cut off your sack to be able to mind read? If I could have the same allowance that Zach has, that I could

shoot a couple meaningful loads. Meaningful loads. Okay. Joelle, would you have your eggs removed yeah i don't want children so there you go that's easy okay well then that's easy for you what about you donald i've already had my my sack removed well you haven't had your sack removed you've had your tubes tied but you have you still have a sack with two very girthy girthy nuts they are they're very girthy. Oh, my word. They are like sugar dates. Yeah.

They're plums. What? They're plums. Oh, my God. All right. Let's get back to the show. I'm pleased for the love of God. So Kelso lied to Elliot.

He was doing it as a way to reach out for help. That's at least her interpretation. I think Kelso may have just been trying to make her feel bad but elliot interprets it that um he's being a traditional male and not not asking for help trying to solve this conundrum on her own and she pledges she freaking solves it though man like well she doesn't solve it she pledges that she's going to help and he he seems to want it though at, at the end is what I'm saying. Yes.

That's the mystery. I hit Turk by accident. JD hits Turk. Yes. And then we don't know how we're going to solve this, because JD is not fine with JD hitting Turk. So we come up with a solution that for the Tri-Daily magazine,

the janitorial, we will do a Rocky III freeze frame ending. Do you remember the Rocky III? I don't. Remind me. Remind me. You never know who wins. Okay, so Rocky I. No, you don't have to

go deep, dude. No, it has to be done this way. We'll do it short. Rocky I, Apollo beats Rocky. Rocky II, Rocky beats Apollo, becomes the champ. Rocky III, Apollo, I mean, Clubber Lang beats Rocky, and Apollo's like, yo, dude, I got to get you back on that high horse because you beat me, and there's no way this chump can beat you. So Apollo trains Rocky.

Rocky beats Clubber Lang. At the end of the movie, Rocky owes Apollo a favor. And the favor is Apollo wants a rematch, but with nobody in the room. Got it. Right? And so now they're squaring up against each other, getting ready to fight. And at the end of the movie, they throw a punch and they hit each other at the same time. That's a good ending.

Rocky freeze frame. That's good. Rocky III freeze frame ending. All right. You summed it up very, very nicely, by the way, Donald. Thank you very much. If anyone out there is looking for someone to professionally sum up Rocky films,

Donald Faison is a male. They're my favorite. I'm going to be honest with you. Have you ever watched a Rocky? Have you ever watched Rocky I? I've watched them all when they came out. And I remember watching four probably in the theaters with Dolph Lundgren. If you get a chance, and I mean, it was nominated for Best Picture.

It won Best Picture. Yeah, it did. If you get a chance, listeners out there, if you want to see a really good fucking movie, watch Rocky 1. It's phenomenal. And Stallone is great in it. Everybody's great in it. But it's phenomenal and stallone is great and everybody's great in it but it's a really good movie man it's like a well done there's a reason why he's still around doing what he's doing turk has um named each of his testicles after the two main characters in sanford and son

lamont and grady lamont and gradyady. Now JD asked him which one is gone. I believe it was Lamont. Yeah, Lamont's gone. Grady's still there, though. And then there's some insider Sanford and the Son joke I forgot. I forgot. For the tiny, tiny

percentage of our audience that knows and loves Sanford and the Son. I liked Sanford and the Son growing up. That was the best theme song. I think. Well, that's it. And we learned the ladies are going to help. The ladies are going to help Kelso. It's sort of a to be continued dot, dot, dot. They're going to help him not lose his job. He's going to lose that job. Yeah. We all know that spoilers. All right. That's our show, everybody.

We're going to take a break and we come back. Joelle going to play us some uh some audio right joelle yes sir we'll be right back after these words hi this is shannon doherty host of the new podcast let's's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. You probably also know me from my stage four cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me.

And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it. It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, my name is Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. I just had a great conversation with Michael B. Jordan and you can listen to it right now. Michael is known for his performances in both film and

television. His breakout role was in Fruitvale Station playing Oscar Grant which earned him widespread praise and numerous award nominations. His portrayal of Killmonger in Marvel's Black Panther, one of my favorites, further solidified his status as one of Hollywood's leading actors, earning him widespread acclaim for his complex and compelling performance. In our conversation, Michael really opens up. You're going to love listening to it, and I can't wait for you to check it out. The closest to getting what you want is always the hardest. It's always the feeling when you're getting ready. People give up right before they get what they've always wanted to get. People quit. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine you ask two people the same exact set of seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions. I'm Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions. This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.

You can't go around it, so you just go through it. This is a roadblock. It's going to catch you down the road. Go through it. Deal with it. Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney. I shouldn't feel guilty about my son's death. He died of a brain tumor. It's part of what happens when your kid dies. Intellectually, you'll understand that it's not your fault, but you'll still feel guilty.

Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair. That personal disaster wrote Guyville. So everything comes out of a dead end. And many, many more. Join me on season three of Many Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. And we're back what you're trying to get into a day or soon what you're trying to do

what are you trying to get in a day or soon i'm trying to get into the bath i'm going to a sports match this uh this weekend oh it's it's the football one and and it's the L.A. Rams versus the Titans. Oh, okay. Look at you going to Rams games all of a sudden. Well, it's a nice activity, Donald. You go watch the sports and have a little drinky drink. You have a little drinky drink with some compadres. I hear you.

I don't really follow the game that much. I find it not as interesting as the drinking with compadres i hear you i don't really follow the game that much i i find it not as interesting as the drinking with compadres part as i told you my father would drag me to the nets games as a child and i just wanted to know where duncan the mascot was amazing i would just watch duncan the whole game that duncan that sums up up how I felt about sports. My dad was screaming at the game, and I'm like, where's Duncan? He's hilarious. Duncan was hilarious.

Really good mascot. Whoever played Duncan in the mid-'80s nailed it. All right, let's hear it, Joelle. What you got for us? Okay. This first one is from Andy McGurk. Andy McGurk. Hey, guys.

It's Andy here. I've sent you a pitch before, but I've got a better idea now. However, the only way I think I can truly sell this is to attempt an Australian accent. Here it goes. All right, mates. I've got a fantastic idea for your new project for you guys it's called fake doctors real friends the musical so basically the storyline would be that we have two struggling actors doing a

podcast but they both have doctors as their folks anyway one of them has the idea that to earn a little bit more money and have a theme for their new podcast they could use their parents' medical books, try and learn them live scripts, and then apply for jobs as actual doctors. They go ahead and apply, they land the job, and then all manner of shenanigans take place across the rest of the musical. Okay, speaking normally, I know what you're thinking. How does this tie in with Zach and Donald's podcast?

Well, all the songs in the musical will be from Zach's soundboard with great musical numbers such as What Are You Trying To Get Into, Zach I Love You, Wu-Tang Forever, and the Tony Award winning song, which I will play for you now. Wow. When it doesn't matter if it's a time for a boob or a finger, everybody loves a little

ice cream. So yeah, if this doesn't get picked up then I have no faith in future musical theatre. Enjoy! Wow. All right. I'm speechless. faith in future musical theatre. Enjoy! Wow. Alright. I'm speechless. I love the musical number. I love the musical number too. I think we've got something there. Yeah, we might need that for the soundboard, Daniel. That might have

to make more appearances. Well, I think this is a lesson in pitching, everybody. You don't want to upstage your pitch with something like an Australian accent because it becomes a little tricky to hear what's happening. I didn't understand. Didn't he have an Australian accent before?

No, I believe he had an English accent. Right, Joelle, maybe? And then he put on, because he knows we love that Australian guy so much, he was trying to piggyback on his stuff. Got it. And I think things went a little awry with the pitch. But. He wrote a beautiful song.

Beautiful song. Because everybody does love a little ass play. I know. But what he's saying is we could make a whole musical out of songs on the songboard. What you trying to get into a day of shooting? It's like a melancholic, like a little ballad in the middle of the show. Like, yeah, it's like I'm holding your face, and I just don't know what you want to get into.

What? And you can picture all the dancers behind us, but I got one hand on your chest and one hand on your face, and I'm like, what you trying to get into a day or two? I don't know the rest of the lyrics yet, but I'm sold. Well, do you know the rest of the lyrics? Don't do that to them. What you trying to do?

That's right. What you trying to do? That thing you're trying to get into. A day assumed. What is it? I feel you're trying to get into my rib cage where I keep my heart. Wow. Just make sure when you get in there, don't be afraid.

Yeah. Hold me close. Oh, it's a gay love story. It doesn't have to be gay. Why does it have to be gay? Well, I just assumed it was a gay love story. It doesn't need to be. It could be a platonic.

Just because we cuddle and hold each other, that doesn't make us gay, buddy. I need that for the soundboard. All right, listen, Daniel, you missed it. I have some soundboard entries in there. Fantastic. Thank you for the pitch. We love the song. We're going to pass on the rest.

All right, Joelle, this must be a pitch for a new podcast with Zach and Donald. So actually, because this is our final show of the year, and because Donald has requested it so frequently, here's Steve and Brandon part two. Yes! Let's go! Yes! Yes!

All right, well. Please. I hope he has more. Listen, he's got more. Yes! Yes! All right, well, listen. I hope he has more. Listen, he's got more, and I want to just say this is our final show of the year because we're going to take time off for the holidays, and we love you all so much, and this is so fun. We love doing this, so thank you for listening. All right, go into it.

Hey, guys. It's Stephen Brandon here, Your favourite Australian Crypt Keeper Yes, I am a proud member of the Two First Names Club There's Billy Joel, Bob Dylan Steve Martin Larry David, Jennifer Lawrence And now, Stephen Brandon

As requested, I have some more Pitches for you guys Here we go, number one Two best friends are involved in a nuclear accident and become heroes, but there's a catch. Each day, they both get a new superpower that only lasts for that day, and they must figure out what it is

and how to use it to save the city. Zach and Donald are unlikely superheroes in 24-hour power. Yeah, I love it. Yeah! Number two. Both recently single, two best friends move to a quaint town to run a successful bed and breakfast.

A year later, their grown children go bust and show up homeless and unemployed, leaving the men with no choice but to take them in, teach them the business, and become a family. Zach and Donald are innkeepers in Everybody's Inn. That's inn with two Ns. And number three. When celebrities Zach Braff and Donald Faison swap bodies, they must learn patience and restraint as they live as each other for a week. Donald enjoys the white boy bachelor lifestyle too much

as Zach does his best to avoid sleeping with the beautiful Casey Cobb. Zach and Donald are each other in Thirsty Thursday. Hope you like those ideas and can't wait to get in the chair and play your narrator one day. Thanks. Oh, yeah. I love his ideas always. We got to have him on the podcast just one time, guys.

Just one time. I want to have him on and just have... We could do a fix your life, but not really a fix your... He needs to be on the show. Listen, the funny thing about him is, even though he's just funny, and I want to tell him that, like, I know he's doing these funny joke pitches for us,

but he should, like, pitch real shit because he's funny and he's charming and even though his ideas are zany, he comes up with funny little hooks. I like the wife swapping one. What do you think of that? I like that too, but I like the

superpower one too. I think Casey would have to play herself. Zach, I love you. That's fine. I like the superhero one. I think that's hilarious. That is a funny one. They're trying to figure out what their powers are. That is funny.

It's kind of like Quantum Leap in that they jump to a new situation every time, but instead of jumping to a new situation, they jump every day to a new superpower, and they have to figure out what it is because sometimes it might not be obvious. Right. That's clever. Very cool. I like that one the best.

Joelle, put that one on the whiteboard. Copy that. All right. Thank you so much, everybody. We love you. This is so fun. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah.

Happy Kwanzaa. Happy any holiday you celebrate. Happy New Year. Joelle, Daniel, I have presents coming to you. Donald, I have presents coming to you and your kids. Guys, I bought a house and eventually I will have you guys in that house to hang out.

But as of right now, that's where all my money is. So what you're telling Daniel and Joel is that their present is that you're going to one day have them over. My present is one day you will come over and I will shower you with Cristal. Well, yeah.

I'll buy a Crist for y'all. Shoot, I'll buy the Crist. I'll buy a Crist. I'll buy a Spades. I'll buy the JZ drinks. The Spades. I'll drive. I'll buy that.

I'll buy- What is the other shit that y'all love? Moet? 1942. That really expensive tequila. I'll buy the 19- Whatever they bring out at the club when you say, I want bottle service. Whatever they bring out, I'm going to have that shit for y'all when you come through. I'm going to have a little section where y'all can listen.

It'll be like a couch, and y'all can have fucking bottle service and fucking party. Excellent. Thank you. Daniel, you won't have to DJ or nothing. No. Wow. I would. I'm going to have somebody bring you to bottle service

with sparklers and shit your kids are gonna be dressed up like the waitstaff and they're gonna bring us bottles with sparklers i'm gonna put my kids to work and they're gonna um all right we love you guys uh thank you so much happy Happy New Year. Be safe and be kind. And Donald, count us out. 5, 6, 7, 8. Rewatch show with Zach and Donald I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.

This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. We will always exist and we will definitely not let them take away our joy, no matter how hard they try. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with... What? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent, and this season I am joined full-time by world-renowned Janie Danger.

Janie, what are we talking about in Season 3? We're talking about life, Carmen. Beauty Translated is about the many fragmented lives spreading across this rich tapestry of the trans experience. And the all new Beauty Translated Loveline at 678-561-2785. Listen to Beauty Translated season three on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. Bye.

Hi, this is Shannon Doherty, host of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. So in this podcast, I'm going to be talking about marriage, divorce, my family, my career. I'm also going to be talking a lot about cancer, the ups and the downs, everything that I've learned from it. It's going to be a wild ride. So listen to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts.