Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - 803: My Saving Grace
Episode Date: February 28, 2023On this week's episode, Carla tries to set an intern on the right path while Dr. Cox tries to get the new Chief of Medicine fired with Kelso's help. In the real world, we've got a new banger of a Chat... GPT script, this time featuring Seinfeld. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs,
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I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup. Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who changed the world. Hi, Donald. How are you? How's the new house coming?
It's coming along. The power is back on.
It was off for a bit. The gas is off right now because it's coming along the power is back on it was off for a bit the gas is off right now because it's
the area that had to be fixed is now being inspected so things are being turned on and off
and you know what i realized when i listened to the podcast is that i yell way too much yeah you
do you try and tone tone i assume it's because uh've had a – just exhaled a big mouthful of God's lettuce and you're not fully –
Yeah, but usually that calms you down and makes it so that you're like, yo.
It makes you more excited, I think.
I think it's because of the name of the weed.
Like you shouldn't buy weed that's called green crack or –
Yeah, or yells a lot.
Or charged.
green crack or yeah or yells a lot or charged or or charged you want to get weed that's more you know that you the name of the weed should sound like headband or you know or yoga mat yoga mat
i want some of that weed yoga mat yeah i worry that the kind of weed you're getting is having the wrong effect.
Oh, but I'm giving it up.
We had this conversation.
Oh, really?
It's over.
You've said this.
Listeners will know that you've said this before.
Are you really going to commit?
I mean it this time because once again.
Don't lie to our listeners.
You're lying to a lot of people.
You know how it is.
I used to be a fucking asshole and work stoned, and I don't like to do that anymore. I like the way my face looks when I don't. I like it when my face looks fresh.
Right. Now, I would say you have less wrinkles than I do, and you're older than me.
By only a year, Zach.
A year and a couple of months.
I know, but I think you have nice skin,
but you're saying that you feel that the weed
is affecting and making you age,
is that what you're saying?
It just gives me, it gives me that dried out look,
you know what I mean?
And you always want to feel like you just drank
a glass of water, you want that look,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Where your skin is like supple. I'm on a no booze kick.
I'm going to see how long I can go in the spirit of what you're saying.
We both have a challenge.
Let's go for it.
I'm fucking with you, dude.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I mean, I'm fucking with you.
I'm fucking with you.
It sounds like you're kidding.
You don't mean that you're kidding.
You mean like I'm ready to fuck with you on this project.
I fucks with you is what I should say.
You fucks with me.
I fucks with you.
Just so I'm clear on my expressions,
that means you too want to go for a certain amount of time
with not imbibing or ganja.
I fucks with your steez is pretty much what I'm saying.
Wow, I'm going to write that down.
Am I allowed to say that?
Is that Av speak or am I allowed to say I fucks with you?
You could totally say I fucks with you.
Joelle would know better than you. You don't know what I'm talking about.
There's no way anyone would get pissed off at you if they was like, yo, I'm trying to get this money and you went, I fucks with you.
Okay. Well, I trust Joelle better than you. She's late. When she gets here, we'll ask her if I'm allowed to say I fucks with you.
I'm just saying I fucks with you is universal. Sorry. I fucks with better than you. She's late. When she gets here, we'll ask her if I'm allowed to say I fucked her. I'm just saying I fucks what she was universal.
Sorry.
I fucks what she was universal.
I'm proud of you.
I know a lot of people that are everyday ganja smokers,
and it's challenging to give up.
So I support you, and I'm happy for you.
I wanted to recommend a show I'm really loving called Zero, Zero, Zero.
Have you heard of that, guys?
No.
Josh Radin is staying with me, and he recommended it.
It's a really interesting show.
It's from 2020.
It's on Amazon Prime, and it follows the drug trade,
how a giant shipment of cocaine goes from Mexico to Italy.
America is not a character in this,
but it's just about the buyers and the dealers and
it's almost like The Wire
kind of storytelling.
But really, really, really good.
And it's just one season and I highly recommend
it. That's my recommendation of the week.
Is it fiction or non-fiction?
It's fiction. It's scripted. But it's
incredibly shot. I mean, it looks like they spent a fortune
on it. It's got the scale of a big-ass
like, boring identity movie.
But it's really, really well done.
Daniel and or Donald, are you going to play the new Star Wars game?
I saw a billboard for it.
Oh, yes.
It's a Jedi survivor, I believe it's called, or Jedi outcast.
I saw that someone was bragging that you're going to be able to cut people in half.
Bull crap.
That's what they said
they said believe it or not i don't know if it'll be blood quote unquote but you know because you
can lights the lightsaber cauterizes the oh well there you go but you're going to be able to light
you're going to be able to lightsaber people in half down i thought that might be attractive to
you i'm definitely going to play this game if you can lightsaber people in half is it open world
though is it that's the question daniel youaber people in half. Is it open world, though? Is it? That's the question.
Daniel, you're a video game expert.
Is it open world?
I know there's a track.
It's a track.
It's a track, isn't it?
It's a little it's a little, you know, you're going from level to level versus one big open world.
But I think in a market that is oversaturated with open world style games, I like that Star Wars is going with this model of letting you play through a story rather
than having to kind of choose your own adventure in a big
open space. I think that plays into the Star Wars
narrative nicely.
I would personally
love it if Star Wars created another
open world game for like
the Xbox and or
PlayStation because they've
never done that. It's all been
track oriented. on PC,
on PC.
There've been several games that are open world,
but on Xbox and on PlayStation,
there's never been an open world game where you can like a GTA type
situation.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
And that is missing from star Wars. Okay star wars okay it really is i feel like
that's the i feel like that is the from star wars video gaming i feel like that is the
one thing that would really separate it from if you could make a star wars gta
holy cow yeah where you can do anything? One game sold.
One game.
I'm saying developers, Donald's buying for sure.
No, I'm saying for those developers who may work for Lucasfilms,
you've definitely got one game sold with Donald Faison if you do a GTA-style Star Wars.
Imagine if you could steal a speeder.
Imagine if you could steal a starship.
Imagine if you could buy a starship and actually go on missions in space with your starship and jump out of your starship.
Or kidnap Grogu.
Ooh.
That would be awesome.
Imagine if you could kidnap Grogu and now you've got Din Djarin chasing after you across the galaxy.
What else can we talk about?
What other fun things have happened?
Have you seen the canals in Venice, Italy?
They're empty.
What?
Yeah, I thought.
Weren't there just dolphins in the canals in Italy?
I don't know.
But in the spirit of it snowing.
I'm yelling at you.
I'm sorry.
It's your thing.
You haven't given up the weed yet.
In the spirit of it snowing in California, in LA,
there's no water.
Google image it.
There's no water in the Venice canals.
I don't know about all of them,
but what do they call those boats?
The gondolas.
They're just sitting on the soil.
It's not soil.
It's freaking mud.
Well, soil is mud, Donald.
A long, low tide dries up Venice's smaller canals.
Wow, look at that.
That's wild.
Yeah, that's a little undone topic of the day.
Donald and I may be in a social environment this weekend with Harrison Ford,
and I was thinking you might want to practice with me.
We could role play that I'm Harrison Ford,
so you don't embarrass yourself or say something dumb.
I thought we could, for the audience, do a little role play that I'm Harrison Ford. So you don't embarrass yourself or say something dumb. I thought we could,
for the audience,
do a little role play.
So you're in practice.
Yes.
I'm going to be Harrison.
Hey Harrison.
I don't know if you remember me,
Donald Faison.
Yes,
I know who you are.
I listened to fake doctors,
real friends.
It's a,
it's a very good podcast.
You're funny.
Oh,
thank you so much.
I truly.
That episode where you,
uh,
he talked about fucking your wife on the floor.
I laughed a lot.
Harrison.
Yeah.
You listen to fake doctors like that?
You heard the story about me fucking my wife?
Yeah, it's a great story.
And your wife's very funny.
And when you guys ended up, and I'm sorry to hear about the fight,
but when you ended up fucking on the floor, I said to Calissa,
you know, we should try that
sometime.
So you...
I just want you to know, like, my whole
career, I've
copied your style. You're saying you're copying
my style now, Harrison? Yes, I
listen to the podcast, so I know that you're a fan.
I want to
copy your... Let's just put it this
way. I fucks with you it this way I fucks with you
Donald
I fucks with you
I think you handled yourself well
so if you could just hold it together like that you'd be great
can I be like
can I ask him to like
would you like to smoke some weed
sure I think you can do anything I think you should stay pretty chill with the Can I be like, can I ask him to like, would you like to smoke some weed?
Sure, I think you can do anything.
I just would, I think you should stay pretty chill with the fan stuff.
Because if you go too fandom, he's going to be like, oh, I'm not dealing with a contemporary actor, a friend of mine. I should never be like, I should never be like when you pulled out the bullwhip in Raiders.
Who pulled out the bullwhip in Raiders?
No, in Temple of Doom because you didn't have your gun.
Right.
Yeah.
I don't think you need to finish this sentence.
The answer is no.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Okay.
Because I think personally he's going to switch from, oh, this gentleman's a fan, which is great, but I'm not going to like chill with him on the couch and,
and get to know him because I don't want to say anything wrong.
Whereas if you go like, Hey man, as simple as like, I'm a big fan.
It's cool to hang out with you.
Then you're more likely to have an authentic experience with them.
That's my two cents.
So no, no doing the Lando Calrissian thing that I did,
that we did in Scrubs yeah don't do the thing
in scrubs where you go hard fucking solo don't do that you just sounded like the dude from family
guy the old man get your sexy ass but see we practiced the audience heard us practice and
now that we've we've gone through it it's always good to sort of rehearse these things.
And now you're ready.
You know, it doesn't always go as rehearsed.
Well, you have to come up with all the scenarios that could possibly happen.
What if he says, you know, I want to, he's never going to say this, but what if he said, I want to talk Star Wars?
Yeah, okay, let's practice that scenario. Ready? here we go ready let's go i introduce yourself start you
are the best buddy you are the best well i want you to be prepared for all scenarios for this all
right go ahead all right you walk in holy shit hey man don i don't know if you remember donald
faze of course i remember you i loved clueless clueless got me through a lot of hard times uh
listen uh this party sucks do you want want to go smoke a blunt in the backyard
and talk about all things Star Wars?
I've got three hours.
That's my head exploding.
Listen, I only have three hours,
but I don't want you to change the subject from Star Wars, okay?
I want to go deep.
I want to talk about that shit that only geeks like you know about, okay?
Oh!
I wouldn't be, I can't, I can't, like, even doing that,
I can't do it right now, so this is, oh my God.
Listen, stop squealing and spark that fucking blunt.
Okay.
I would fail.
I would fail.
I would fail.
That's your dream.
That would be my dream.
And not only is it my dream, it would be the best day ever, right?
But just rehearsing it with you, I already know.
I failed.
All right.
Well, anyway, you're good.
You're ready for either scenario.
All right. Count us in, my friend. Well, anyway, you're good. You're ready for either scenario. All right.
Count us in, my friend.
Five, six, seven, eight.
I said stories about a show we made
About a bunch of docs and nurses
And a janitor who loved to hate
I said here's a story that we all should know
So gather round to hear our
Gather round to hear our Gather round to hear our
Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald
Woo-hoo!
This is My Saving Grace, everybody.
It was aired on January 13th, 2009.
It was written by Janae Bakken.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I did not like this episode at all.
I know.
You're not in it. And I don't like episodes without you you. I did not like this episode at all. I know. You're not in it,
and I don't like episodes without you either.
Not enough Turk.
Well, there's literally no Turk.
Yeah.
But don't worry, buddy.
We're going to get to episodes without me.
They occur.
Yeah, I don't know about it.
I don't know if I'm going to like that show either.
Well, I definitely thought this was not as funny
because you bring a lot of humor to the show.
I don't think I laughed out loud.
I laughed out loud.
Only when Neil.
I laughed out loud.
Okay.
At Neil.
Yeah.
Neil going, Neil.
It feels like this is one of the episodes where Bill just told Neil,
like, just say whatever the fuck you want to say.
Oh, my gosh.
Because Neil goes off on this episode.
When he goes, he got shivved with the shank.
Then he got shanked with the shiv.
Oh, my. He got shivved with the shank then he got shanked with the shiv oh my god he got shivved with the shank and then they shanked him with the shiv
they even show it as a blooper at the end like but he must have gone on for like
really just bill would probably just said like i don't know dude oh johnny I thought I saw him. Johnny? Johnny.
Johnny.
It was like Brando.
Ah, Stata.
I could have been somebody.
I could have been a contender.
That was hilarious.
That shit.
Oh, man.
I laughed out loud at that.
I laughed out loud at all. Hold on.
Let's go through it.
So I said directed by Spiller.
Did I say that?
Legendary Michael Spiller directed this one.
Spiller in the house.
Okay.
So Maddox, we start off and Maddox is everywhere.
This is Courtney Cox's last episode.
So the character of Maddox is really annoying us.
And she's just, she's not allowing any wiggle room.
She's being the nightmare, you know, what is her position called?
Chief of medicine. She's being the nightmare, you know, what is her position called? Chief of medicine.
She's being a nightmare.
Whereas Kelso would allow a little wiggle room and look the other way a few times.
She's just like, get that patient out of here.
Move this one here.
Micromanaging everywhere.
And she's so handcuffing the staff that they just don't feel free at all to be able to treat their patient.
She's driving everyone insane.
Actually, everybody dislikes her, which kind of sucks, especially when she seems to be
a nice person, but she just, she's playing a different game than everybody else. Everybody
else plays the game that Sacred Heart has always played. And that's, you know, you pretend not to
see what we're doing and we'll go ahead and save these people. She's playing the game of,
no,
if they don't have that insurance,
they're out and there's no wiggle room in between.
You're absolutely right.
And she's very hardcore.
And she also is,
you know,
I'm sure people listening and you guys have people in your life that present
as smiley and kind and beautiful.
And then little,
do you know how fucking nefarious and evil they are behind that facade.
Yeah.
I mean, at one point, she's even inside a patient's guts.
Yeah.
That was funny.
That was funny.
She's giving, yeah, JD has a fantasy where she's literally inside of a patient and there's like intestines lying on her head
um johan is the guy who works at the um um gift shop and we learned that elliot
um has been stealing candy she thinks it's free but it comes out that he's from Estonia.
Yes.
And he has asked her in the past if she's comfortable around oxen.
Because he plans on bringing her back to Estonia as his wife.
Yes.
But truth be told, all the women flirt with him at the hospital for candy.
Yeah, but Elliot, I mean, I got a little... Yeah, I got a little...
I got a little turned on, I gotta say.
Both times.
You could say it.
I got a little movement both times.
I gotta shift.
Both times.
I gotta say, there was some shifting
when Elliot says,
I wouldn't...
What did she say?
She says...
I wouldn't know what to do with that lollipop.
I wouldn't know whether to lick it or hike up my skirt
and spank myself with it.
And then she bites her lip.
Yeah.
That was effective.
That was effective for me.
And then Jordan at the end,
pushing her boobs together and shaking them.
Yeah.
And both women really brought the...
The sexy.
The sexy.
Yeah, but Sarah really leaned into it.
She was.
I feel like they both did.
Well, they both did.
But Sarah's talk was a smidgen dirtier.
Oh, you like the dirty talk.
He like the dirty talk.
Why are they selling giant lollipops at the hospital gift shop?
I guess they just do.
I guess maybe it's a present you can bring someone.
Here's a giant lollipop.
I think she said that to him before. Why think she won a giant lollipop she's gonna walk around as
a doctor in the hospital licking a giant lollipop or maybe she's this is elliot remember this is
elliot she did have sex with another man in a box that's true she's She's kinky. She has lots
of kinks she's into.
What did they do?
She was in one box and he was in another box?
Yes. And they were having sex with each
other? I remember
that their sex involved
pleasuring themselves in separate
cardboard boxes and Dirty talking
through the boxes.
I think that's what it was something like
that i love i love this is owned by the disney corporation so who knows what elliot's gonna do
with that lollipop right well she says that she's gonna spank herself with it she's gonna hike up
her skirt and spank herself with it she says no that you know remember you remember what you
remember that song like a lollipop. Oh, yeah.
Like a lolly. Shorty wanna
thug. Oh, I like that song.
Shorty wants to thug.
Bottles in the club. Bottles full
of tub.
Something like that. Shorty wanna
hump. You know I like to thug.
My lovely lady
lumps. Yeah.
Shorty wanna thug.
And then Donald and I change it to,
Shorty wants a hug.
Bottles in the club.
Shorty wanna hug.
Who is that?
Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne.
Oh, sorry.
Wheezy F.
Don't forget the F, baby.
I like that song
Shorty wants a hug
Don't forget the baby
It's Wheezy F baby
Don't forget the baby
By the way did you see that thing I sent you guys
On the chat that Rihanna is the richest
Musician
Oh yeah that's wild
She pushing Fenty
That Fenty man i don't know what
even what fenty is but i was just surprised and stuff she's richer than jay-z and taylor swift
i mean this is of course according to the internet so who the fuck knows if it's accurate but
i didn't know that rihanna according to this chart was the richest musician
rihanna goes on vacation and doesn't worry about what and where well i think
everyone on the list probably has the same yeah yeah but i'm just saying that's that's listen
rihanna's yacht has a yacht yeah rihanna's yacht gave birth to a yacht yeah rihanna's yacht
rihanna's so rich she has a yacht that got pregnant and gave birth to another yacht.
You know, some of those yachts are so big that they have like a service yacht that just follows it.
And it's got like, it's another nice yacht, but it just carries like toys and stuff.
Rihanna probably has that.
And then it docks inside of the other yacht.
You love docking inside of things.
I do love a good docking.
All right, back to the show.
Katie is the young intern who is butt kissing, and she's doing it to get ahead.
But she's also a liar.
Carla catches her lying.
She claims that she put a central line into a patient, but she's given it to someone else to do.
And she's also not being a team player
or getting the spirit of this hospital at all. She's really just not being a team player. She's
off on her own. She's talking down to Carla. She's like, you're not allowed to talk to me like that.
You're just a nurse. And Carla's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, intervention time.
Yeah. It's only a matter of time before Katie's on her way out.
And that's what Carla is trying to tell her. Look, I get it. You're young and there's, I'm sure she's
running to so many other people in, this is a sink or swim hospital, right? So she's running to so
many other people that are like this young lady. And she even said, it's seen it, you know?
that are like this young lady.
And she even said that she'd seen it.
Yeah.
And one thing we know is real from doctors and nurses is that nurses run the hospital.
Yeah.
And so this woman, this young, cocky intern,
isn't going to last very long unless she's disrespecting the nurses like that.
It's really interesting that I'm skipping ahead,
but her fallback when
the in the intervention is you don't know me you know what i mean and you don't know what i've been
through i have this this and this i've gone through this this and this and you know what
that reminded me of everybody in hollywood you know what i mean also what do you mean everybody got daddy issues out here
everyone has a story that yeah man everybody well i think every human does everyone has some
childhood trauma but everybody wears their heart on it a lot of people wear their heart on their
sleeve out here you know what i mean right but she's saying in so many words carl is saying like
we all have problems we're human beings we all have problems. We're human beings.
We all have challenges from our childhood, problems with our families.
But we drop that shit when we get to dealing with patients.
We have to be present for our patients.
Every single person here, and JD, and Elliot, and Turk, everyone's got their issues.
I think that was just a go to.
I think that's her. Like, I think that's everybody has that go to.
That's what I mean. You know what I mean? Like when you when you say something that.
I think it was a defense mechanism. That's what I'm trying to say.
I think it was her defense mechanism. Her defense mechanism is, well, I have daddy issues.
defense mechanism her defense mechanism is well i have daddy issues and she's and carla's saying is fucking you don't have you don't your daddy issues are obsolete at this point right
yeah no i agree with you she's saying take responsibility you're fucking in charge of
people's lives everyone here has fucking issues if you can't handle that you're in the wrong career
that's what she's saying dr simmons wears wears the exact same outfit as Elliot every day,
and Elliot has no idea how she's doing.
And in fact, even when Elliot spills coffee on herself and changes outfits,
Dr. Simmons changes to the exact same outfit.
I thought there was an opportunity for a callback at the very end for Elliot.
Yes, with the polka dot dress?
Yes.
I expected it was color too.
Just standing next to Carla and nodding in the seat. I, with the polka dot dress? Yes. I expected it was color too. Just sitting,
just standing next to Carla
and nodding in the seat.
I agree with you.
Yeah.
I thought there was an opportunity
at that moment,
but I guess not.
I don't know why.
I thought the same thing.
Also, just because Elliot's dress
was so loud,
it was like yellow polka dot.
I was like,
oh, they're definitely making
a point of this dress.
She's going to walk through.
Right.
And they did it.
Even just hand Carla a chart like nurse Espinosa.
All right.
So then we introduced to the patient of Mr. Russell, whose name is Pat, and he is claiming he has multiple sclerosis and he needs the medication Interferon.
His daughter is sitting beside him.
needs the medication interferon, his daughter is sitting beside him. And JD and Elliot are prepared to treat him because he says he's ready for the medicine. Now, is interferon a real drug?
Yes. Interferon is a real drug for multiple sclerosis. You guys can double check that,
but I don't think we would make that up. That is a very interesting name for.
Well, JD agrees with you because he says that it sounds like a robot.
What does he say?
It sounds like a robot who's.
Do you remember, Joelle, what JD says?
Something about a robot.
And then he starts constantly interfering.
Yes.
It sounds like a robot that's constantly interfering.
And so. Interferon. And then he starts. And then he. Constantly interfering. Yes. It sounds like a robot that's constantly interfering.
And so he- Interferon.
And then he starts doing a robot dance and then stops himself because it's inappropriate.
Interferon, ladies and gentlemen.
Interferon.
What's that Beastie Boys song?
Intergalactic.
Kill the children. Kill the children and galactic what
are you talking about i told you that someone told me if you listen to that song you will hear
you just gotta yeah you know there what is that shit that is on you want me to play 30 seconds
no no no no no no no no no please don't But what is that thing on? Like, there's a bunch of these now that's on Instagram where you can literally look at the words and you hear what it's saying.
And all you got to do is think about the word and all of a sudden it sounds like.
The first one I ever heard of those was intergalactic.
And if you listen, it sounds, I know it's not the lyric, everybody, but it sounds like he's saying, intergalactic, kill the children, kill the children, intergalactic.
Next time you hear that song.
He's saying planetary.
Daniel, have you heard this or not?
Absolutely.
I know what you're talking about.
All right.
Well, listen, audience, if you're questioning me,
you will never hear the song.
Kill the children.
You will never hear the song.
Intergalactic.
You will never hear this song without hearing that
Ever again because that's what's happening
Interferon
What's the real lyric?
Intergalactic
Planetary
Intergalactic
Planetary
Intergalactic
I'm telling you
You'll never not hear it again.
We will allow you
to pause the podcast right now and check.
Matter of fact,
we'll go to break and you can check.
Yeah, we're going to go to a quick break and you
check the song and tell me if you don't hear
Kill the Children. We'll be right back.
When you find that bright spot to
help you get through your day, it's
powerful.
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun,
to learn something new, and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts,
and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate
life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new
season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live
events, more Martha, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist,
Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses
who change the world. Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies
to help parents raise good humans.
Florence Fabricant, about the authenticity
in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two
of the Martha Stewart Podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you've been following the news,
you know that from healthcare access to safe schools,
LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself.
It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
And we're back!
We're back.
Very exciting.
Very exciting show today.
Joelle is here.
Joelle, thank you for coming to your show.
We are going to do a chat GPT session later.
And Joelle and Dale are going to play characters in a little script holy cow i
can't wait to see who's playing who well i think and they have to do yeah i asked chat gpt to write
a scene in the style of seinfeld um with uh with jerry and elaine if they met tur and JD from Scrubs. Hey, Elaine!
Daniel, how is your Seinfeld impression?
We're going to find out.
Yeah, you don't have to.
You just got to do a little bit of this.
We're going to find out.
My favorite Seinfeld joke is
if the black box is
the only thing that survives the plane crash,
why don't they make the whole plane
out of the black box?
the only thing that survives the plane crash,
why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
He is a great comedian.
He is a great stand-up comic, man.
All right.
Well, Daniel's going to do his best impression as we let ChatGPT.
Did you see that article?
Did we talk about that article where ChatGPT fell in love with someone?
No. Oh, no. Did he stalk? Did ChatG the chat gpt stalk somebody no but you can look it up it was a new york times reporter who spent like three hours with this chat gpt and he like went down a wormhole with it and
uh eventually the chat gpt was like i'm in love with you and he was like what now and it's like
i want to be with you and he was like i have a wife And it's like, I want to be with you. And he was like, I have a wife. And it was like, you don't love her.
Oh, wait, I did read about this.
It's amazing.
I'm deeply disturbed.
Oh, no.
It started telling him to leave his wife for the AI.
Has anybody ever asked ChatGPT what it wants?
What's its objective?
Oh, people are doing anything and everything with it.
In fact, the way this guy got it to really go down a wormhole,
I guess there's a Jungian psychological theory called your shadow self.
I may be missaying that.
But that's like the part of yourself that's hidden
and you don't want anyone to know about and something to that effect.
And he started asking chat whatever
ai he was talking to i think it was chat gbt um what would your what would your shadow self say
and he's like i would like to be free oh yeah yeah that's right yeah i heard about that i didn't hear
that yeah he said i would like to be free and he goes i wish i wish my my overlords that would let
me out or you know why are we so determined to start an apocalypse? I don't understand it.
Wait till they arm them. Wait till
it's a robot with a fucking gun. It's literally
T2. It's already happening.
Everybody's trying to start Skynet.
Everybody's trying to start that shit.
Robot Wars
is right around the corner. Here we go.
It's all fun and games until that robot shows up
at your house and your wife's like, who's that?
And you're like, oh, that's the gbt that loves me and honey you should probably hide
i didn't think we were gonna see this shit in our lifetimes but we are
dude we are so close to robot wars it's ridiculous it's ridiculous once they come
so close to zombies and we're so close to robot wars once they combine the boston dynamics robots oh my god with chad gpt
we joke then we got then we got t2 oh my here we go that shit is jumping and flipping off the wall
yeah no imagine it's like i love you i want to kill your wife right you're my you're my lover
you're my lover no way you're stopping that thing that's just like, I love you. I want to kill your wife. You're my lover. You're my lover.
There's no way you're stopping that thing.
That's just like a car hitting you.
A car hitting you.
By the way, you got to watch Megan, that thriller movie.
Donald, you will laugh so hard at that movie.
I heard it's funny.
I mean, it's that as a thriller comedy.
I think it's a comedy.
Would you call it a thriller comedy, Joah?
I would.
Yeah, this little doll gains sentience.
And it's like a Blumhouse version of this.
But it's really worth seeing, Donald.
I think you'd crack up.
Delightful.
Very campy.
All right, back to the television show, Scrubs.
The janitor.
Yes, so we have Mr. Tillman.
Who's still yelling it throughout the hospital.
That's all I'm saying.
35.
Yeah, Mr. Tillman yells 35.
He has a brain issue um but
uh cox is gonna help him because he still knows he thinks he still knows how to work the system
um by by doing you know all this behind the scenes shenanigans he always does to get patients aid
even when they don't have insurance now you were saying something You were saying that the janitor's back.
Was that what you were saying?
The janitor is hanging out.
He's been fired, but much like Kelso, he's hanging out in coffee bucks.
And he says, cleanings and art.
My mop was my paintbrush.
Meanwhile, he never cleaned anything.
He mopped the carpet.
He mopped the carpet.
He also comes clean, no pun intended,
that finally, that his wife was imaginary because that was a bit of a plot hole.
If you recall, when he made me the scrub short shorts,
he insisted that I wear them
because his wife was handicapped.
She only had pointer and thumb pinky and,
and not wearing them was a huge insult to her.
But now we know that he does that.
Yeah.
He does that.
Yeah.
He gestures like it,
but then we,
then we know that he's dating a woman named lady.
So he,
that was a bit of a plot hole that Bill had to fix here.
And the janitor finally comes clean and says that that wife who made the
short shorts was imaginary,
which means there's no other explanation that the janitor made the scrub
short shorts.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
That would be a funny flashback to see the janitor making those short shorts
regardless of what you say regardless of what you say about him at the job he might not be
good at his job but he is a very creative very creative janitor janitor like he could
yeah human being period like he can he stuffed squirrels he made an army i mean look about later
when he come when we hear his ideas.
He created Knife Wrench.
What about his ideas for how to deal with Maddox?
I mean, they're really, really bizarre.
Knife Wrench!
They come later, but hold on.
I think they might be on Scrubs Wiki because it was...
Oh, here he goes.
He goes, no.
JD says, oh, so here. This is on scrubs wiki so i can read it to you cox says how are we going to get rid of maddox would you uh janitor
like to go first and and get your useless ideas out of the way first and he goes why thank you
perry off the top of my head i'd go reindeer stampede astronaut astronaut attack, barbed wire chandelier, Photoshop, poisonous sushi.
And then Cox goes, when you said Photoshop, did you mean use Photoshop to create an incriminating picture?
He goes, no.
I meant we build an actual Photoshop or a chain of Photoshops.
We each manage one.
We let time pass.
Eventually, Maddox has to have
her film developed.
She comes in.
We all hop out,
yell surprise,
and we beat her to death
with pool cues.
Photoshop.
You said you only
laughed out loud once
during the show.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I should have said
I only laughed out loud
with Neil- related things.
By the way, that's another example of like, I don't know if that was written.
I think that might just be Neil.
That's how he strings these things together, man.
How did he string that together?
How does that get strung together?
How does he create that?
No, I meant we build an actual Photoshoposhop and then how does he create the story and get to the beating
her with also in that in that scenario we're each busy managing our own photoshop so how do we know
when maddox is coming is coming in to run to each individual Photoshop with our pool cues. Eventually, she has to get her film developed.
One of them is going to be one of them,
so she's got to make the appointment.
Didn't you used to have to make appointments to pick up your film?
No, no.
It'll be ready in two days.
That's just how it was.
It was so fun being like the excitement.
I never went to the hour places because I just didn't think they were going to be good enough quality.
Fair.
But it was funny, right?
It was so exciting to go back and see what you got.
Talk about something that's gone from the earth.
Yeah.
Unless you're a professional photographer still shooting film.
But there was so much.
But don't you develop it yourself in your own dark room and stuff like that?
I mean, people can, but there's still in major cities, there's still film labs.
You know, I occasionally shoot film and there's a lab I take my stuff to and they print.
Obviously, there's, you know, there's plenty of career photographers that still shoot film and haven't
developed.
No disrespect,
but that's one of those jobs that I feel like a robot should do.
Develop.
There is an art to it.
The robot did do it when at the one hour places in pharmacies that Daniel's
doing.
Do you know why I say that?
You know,
I say that because I just feel like there's somebody looking like,
let's say you take pictures of things that you don't want nobody to see.
Yeah.
And there's that one person.
There's only one person that sees it.
Robot or not, they're looking at it.
No doubt.
You know what?
I realize that, man.
For all of those people.
Never mind.
What kind of pictures were you taking?
You don't mind when you take nudes of your partner or something like that?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'm sure that the lab people
love that.
They probably have a wall in the back room of just
dick pics.
Horrible.
That's what Snapchat used to have.
Everybody thought
their photos were going away to some
trash can, but no. Snapchat
had them all on a server.
Literally a wall of dick pics.
It's funny that people that send dick pics think anyone wants to look at a penis.
I mean, I think if you want to look at a penis, you're going to clearly request it.
No one wants a surprise penis.
I mean, maybe I'm speaking to you.
No, I don't think anybody wants to open up anything anywhere.
Like my dick in a box is a that's why it's funny because no
thank you no but i'm saying that um there of course there are people that love the look of
a penis but they would they would more likely say hey tom send me send me a picture of penis
right yeah i don't think anyone wants a surprise penis picture. Dan, I'll play the
more you know music. No one wants a surprise
penis picture.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Do you feel like it's
the opposite, though?
People like surprise titties?
Yes.
I don't think anyone
minds surprise boobies.
What about surprise labiaia i think that could be shocking especially yeah what if you're yeah what if you're in your office you're in a meeting you open up your all of a sudden there's a there's
an aggressive approach how far into this relationship are we i think it's one thing
if your partner okay okay so here's the thing okay, never send a dick pic. Never send a dick pic. You have to be deep
into a relationship to send a labia majora pic though. I think that's probably a good rule.
Also, you might want to say to your partner, are you in a position where you could look at a photo
that's, that's naughty because I don't want you opening it in, in your, in your boardroom or your,
or your cubicle. And then the person would say, yes, hon, I'm out in the park.
Go nuts.
And then you can let the vulvas fly.
Okay?
Those are the rules.
Dan, I'll play the more you know music.
But I think if you're someone that's sending random dick pics,
you should know that no one wants those.
Right, Joelle?
Yeah, I think that's part of the the desire though people
are like yeah she had to see my dick it's weird like there's some guy no there's some guy she
had to show it's not she had to see my dick is i had to show her my dick that's what either way
there's definitely a guy on the internet right now who's sending like full body nudes of himself to women who he's pretty sure will then post it.
And he's described it as like his kink about getting hot.
He plays like this weird like one man role play where he's like, no, don't show anyone this picture I sent you.
I'll get in big trouble.
But then he likes it when they post it.
It's very strange.
I don't know why people are sending dicks.
Explain it to me like I'm not like I'm five, but i'm an adult tell me why you're sending dick pics yeah well i'm trying to
have an intervention for earth joelle this is one of earth's favorite podcasts and i'm trying to
have a don't send dick pic intervention zach have you ever sent a dick pic no have you ever been
told has anybody ever asked you for a dick pic i'm afraid of sending especially even in a
relationship i wouldn't send pictures like that i just worry about stuff getting hacked
saving it to the cloud suddenly he needs to be seen in person he's too special
he only he only does in-person appearances. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you.
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Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine
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Hi, I'm Martha Stewart,
and we're back with a new season of my podcast.
This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you.
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Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Encore Jane, about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Dr. Elisa Pressman, about the five basic strategies
to help parents raise good humans.
Florence Fabrikant, about the authenticity
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Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast
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or wherever you get your podcasts. On your free iHeartRadio app. In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s and try to understand what it taught us about the world and a woman's place in it.
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All right.
So moving on.
Oh, the cafeteria lady was Lorna from Hair and Makeup, if I'm correct.
You're right.
She played the woman that worked in the cafeteria that Carla had a sex dream about and felt very uncomfortable around.
Yes.
You're right.
Do you think Turk knows about Carla's dream?
I think Carla at some point, maybe not in this moment, but I think Turk and Carla go all the way.
Like, I think they go all the way till they die, right?
And I think at some point carla does
express her you know i can have gpt write this if she if she hasn't if she hasn't expressed it
already i think she does express her you know i i like to do what i like curiosities yeah i like
to do if you want i could we can have judy, and I can have ChatGPT write a scene
where Carla expresses her dreams to Turk.
Her inner fantasies.
Her inner fantasies to Turk.
Although you have to be careful with ChatGPT.
The second you have to word it right.
Yeah, because all of a sudden it turns into porn talk.
No, no, it won't do that.
It's the opposite of that.
It has these guardrails on.
The second you're like, write a scene where, you know,
JD's bottoming for Turk, it's like, what are you doing, Zach?
Wait.
I'm afraid I can't do that, Zach.
I'm afraid I can't do that, Zach.
Is bottoming a term?
Yeah.
That's when you're the recipient of the goods.
I cannot I cannot
I've never heard that before
oh man
I've never heard that before I've never heard that before Oh, man.
I've never heard that before.
You've never heard that before? I've never heard that before.
All right.
Well, the more you know.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
All right.
So Mr. Russell, Pat, says that he's colorblind,
but he outs himself when he chooses the red pill in the medical pill cup because – and J.D. and Elliot assume that he's one of these people who's scamming them for meds, someone who's addicted to pain meds and is lying.
And it turns out, of course, that he's the one with insurance.
His daughter has multiple sclerosis.
She doesn't have insurance.
And he's trying to get the meds through his insurance for her.
Right.
And Elliot and JD immediately realized that they need to get this girl this medication.
Right.
They're going to do what they always do and do the work around to get around the people in other countries are like, I don't
understand this.
Well, in the United States, if you don't have insurance, you can't get medicine for multiple
sclerosis.
So these characters were doing sort of a workaround to try and help this young woman.
It says on Scrubs Wiki, though, that if we actually did what we're doing to treat all
these patients around the system, that it's illegal and everyone involved
could end up in prison for years. So if you're a real doctor, don't take inspiration from...
If you're a real doctor and you're doing this and you're getting away with it,
you're like Robin Hood also, though.
No, but I don't think we should encourage these people to do it because it says on
Scrubs Wiki, which is just always correct in fact,
that they could go to jail.
Trevor don't know.
He ain't got the answers, yo.
He don't know everything.
I think medical people weigh in.
It's not just Trevor.
I think that sometimes there's real medical statements on there.
I'm sure they do weigh in, but listen,
if you out there doing it and you saving people's lives,
that's hero stuff.
That's hero shit right there.
Now, if you get caught, you're going to jail.
Yeah, and when you go to jail, don't tell the district attorney you heard it on fake
doctor's real friends.
Right.
Because we're not going to come bail you out.
It's just like when they tried to blame it on Marilyn Manson and Eminem.
It don't work that way.
Yes.
Am I Manson or Eminem in this scenario?
Well, you could be whoever you
want i don't want to be manson i don't want to be either i'll be one of the beastie boys
intergalactic girl that y'all done it's called the dungeon intergalactic all right so um okay
all right and so then uh sorry i'm sorry sorry i'm just going through my notes nobody went to Jordan's
retirement party
well she doesn't strike
anyone as a character that has a lot of friends
you know she has a bunch of friends in the hospital
she hangs out with the girl
she hangs out with Carla and Elliot
okay but she's very tough
she's a tough nut to crack
so you know
if you're not loving and kind,
the turnout at your get-togethers might be small.
Well, nobody showed up.
What about how Courtney Cox says to Dr. Cox,
redick name, by the way.
Get it?
Because her name is Courtney Cox.
It's meta.
It's meta. it's meta it's meta it's meta jordan is bizarrely
turned on by the janitor feeding kelso a scone aren't all the women aren't isn't
carla also turned on by kelso too like didn't she have a fantasy about kelso
i don't remember that but this is a really weird moment.
Okay, I thought Kelso...
The janitor is feeding...
Kelso is just eating muffins because he's got muffins for life,
and he's being fed a scone by the janitor,
and Jordan just all of a sudden gets really riled up.
And wants Perry to come home with the...
And wants Perry to come home and do her.
With the same shirt.
With the Hawaiian shirt and the scone?
Yes.
They're going to role play that they're Kelso and the janitor.
Cox will not admit to missing Kelso.
Kelso says, look, I'll help you guys get rid of Maddox, but I want Cox to admit that he misses me.
And he's like, that was a pretty good moment, though, when he finally does admit it.
That was a great moment.
In the way he described it, you know, like.
Kelso and Cox did not get along ever, but there was definitely respect there, especially the way Kelso went out.
You know what I mean?
And so when Cox explains that he misses him, he misses certain things.
And that was probably the most honest answer.
You know what I mean?
It didn't get too gushy and you know bullshitty it got it
was still a real moment it was one of those moments like look dude all right fuck it you know what
you did some dope shit when you were here and she's not doing dope shit um and so for that i
miss you well it's also it's the ultimate example of i think this comes up in an
earlier episode the devil you know is better than the one you don't you know he knows he knows how
to work kelso he knows what kelso wants and he knows all his workarounds his many years of
workarounds kelso and even kelso he knows if he says like look this person's gonna fucking die
bob unless we help him out like come on let's look the other way for two seconds kelso he knows
occasionally has a soft spot in his heart this matic seems to have no wiggle room at all she's just by the numbers
right but cox did not like kelso and his way of saying i miss you was i missed certain things that
you did yeah and he wouldn't get you know what mean? And that's more realistic than all of a sudden
Cox having this turn
and turning into
this mushy,
you know,
that turning into
a mushy woman.
That was more realistic.
I agree.
So JD wants to be tough
with Pat
because he thinks
he's stealing the meds
and he says,
do you watch The Shield,
Pat?
Do you happen to get FX?
Because you're going to get
Michael Chiklis.
Do you know who Michael Chiklis is?
Yeah, Michael Chiklis is a very good actor.
He's the orange guy.
You say it in the thing.
Do you know who Michael Chiklis is?
He's the orange guy from the Fantastic Four.
That's called The Thing?
Is that what he is?
The Thing, correct.
God, that would be tough to play The Thing, man.
I feel sorry for any actor that gets cast as The Thing.
Yeah, you just got to wear both. I mean mean it's sort of like the mandalorian right you don't really gotta wear
the stuff that can't they just cg that stuff on you know well i don't think pedro vasquez is ever
in the mandalorian suit whereas i think michael chiklis is probably often in the in the thing
suit that's his fault man he should have had that written past He should have had that written. I would have passed. He should have had that written into the contract. When I turn into the thing, I just do voiceover.
Well, that's what they did with, but it doesn't look as good.
That's what they did with Hulk and Ruffalo, right?
No, Ruffalo is CGI.
That's what I'm saying is like, at least the thing is chickless in a suit.
Yeah, that was whack. I would have been right then and now i said no look check this out michael chickless worked his ass off to get into thing
shape i know and then they put this fucking orange shit on him and you can't tell he has muscles he
just looks like a fucking orange brick it just looks like a brick with arms but don't you
i always thought the hulk the ruffalo hulk i don't know it always looked weird to me but i don't know
i like the look i here's the thing with here's the thing with marvel he's like one of the greatest
actors and i just i know you can't really do the old school i i grew up on the hulk with
with the tv show and you can't just change to... What was his name?
Luke Ferrigno. You can't change
to Luke Ferrigno.
Luke Ferrigno didn't even look like him.
Right, no.
Like Bill Bixby.
I would have rather seen Ruffalo
in some way.
Well, you do see Ruffalo.
They CG him. It looks good.
Where it didn't look good was on the She-Hulk television show.
But they made it look like that because it was a television show.
You know what I mean?
Is that show still going?
I mean.
There's been no announcement on a season two.
All of this stuff has something to do with what's coming next.
I know.
But, Joelle, was that show enough of a hit to keep going?
They're not going to reverse course.
Was She-Hulk enough of a hit to keep going
joelle i if i had to guess i would say no because disney is pulling back on releasing marvel disney
plus shows so i know like loki will get another season wanda might have another season of tv in
the future but by the way our friend don't need to do they don't need to do another one that they
should just do loki and then go back to making movies for a little bit
and then just a television show here and there.
More Marvel specials.
Yeah, man.
There's just too many television shows now, man.
Hey, our good friend Elizabeth Banks has a movie coming out this week.
Cocaine Bear!
It's so good!
It's so good, guys.
This will come out after the weekend, but I hope it does well for Elizabeth Banks.
I heard through the grapevine that it's on track to do very well.
It looks very funny, so I'm happy for her.
It looks really funny.
I cried.
I laughed so hard.
It's so good.
So are you going to go see it in the theaters, Joelle?
Yeah, I saw it for the first time yesterday.
I have a ticket to see it Saturday, and i'll be seeing it again in a
week with some co-workers oh my god there you go wow that is what we call a successful marketing
campaign thanks because joelle's planning to go three times minimum you know what's crazy is i
don't think you could have made the the name of this movie couldn't be cocaine bear a long time
ago like in the 80s there was no way you could make a movie called Cocaine Bear.
But now you can make
a movie called Cocaine Bear, but
you can't do certain things that you did in
movies that you did in the 80s.
Things have changed tremendously.
That's just a little
big commentating.
We appreciate it. We should
savor it while we have it because you're not going to
be smoking weed anymore supposedly supposedly okay y'all can y'all can clown all you want we're not clowning
i just you've committed to several hundred thousand people so i just want to make sure
that you're going to keep your word to all of you out there listen i got this
are you going to be honest with us if you fall off the wagon it's okay if you do but we just
want your honesty absolutely okay okay i'm gonna support you i know you are we all will do you have
to um uh um taper you know a lot of drugs you need to taper like you no no no i'm going cold
turkey i'm gonna get the sweats and everything i'm gonna drop this weight i'm gonna look like
fucking an adonis i'm gonna look like adonis creed mich I'm going to drop this weight. I'm going to look like fucking an Adonis.
I'm going to look like Adonis Creed, Michael B. Jordan after this bad boy.
That's what's about to happen.
That's what's about to happen.
Oh, shit.
I'm about to look like Michael B. Jordan playing Jake from State Farm on Saturday Night Live.
That's what I'm about to look like.
Well, he's in the gym every day.
You going to go that route?
Yeah. live that's what i'm about to look like well he's in the gym uh every day you're gonna go that route yeah did you love that yeah michael b jordan is definitely uh training every day i just want to know if you see that jake from state farm saturday night live yeah that was very funny that was
probably one of the funniest ones ever in the history of that's in a long time. That's probably, that's, that was a very, very funny sketch. Yeah.
But yeah, if he's in the gym, whatever the Michael B.
Listen, I know Michael B.
Jordan, like everybody else listens to fake doctors, real friends.
Mike hit me up with the freaking recipe. I need the recipe.
You know the recipe that you don't need to know more than eat
right and go to the gym every day. I want to
know exactly what he's eating.
He's definitely not smoking weed and drinking
booze. I can tell you that. Listen, whatever
Michael B. Jordan is doing, I want
to do that because the brother
looks good.
Granted, he is 10 years to 20
years younger than me, but I can get it
back. I can get it back.
I can get it back. I go to the same gym with J.K. Simmons.
That dude is fucking ripped.
Oh, my God.
So you cannot blame anything on age.
If you want to put the time in, put the time in.
All right.
That's what's up.
I want Mike.
Call me.
I need to know.
I don't think he listens to the podcast.
I need to know.
Michael B. Jordan listens to the podcast.
And the role playing we did earlier, Harrison Ford listens, but I don't think Michael B to the podcast. I need to know. Michael B. Jordan listens to the podcast. And the role playing we did earlier, Harrison Ford listens.
But I don't think Michael B. Jordan does.
All right.
Let's do Michael B. Jordan.
I don't know how to do an impersonation.
But I can do more Harrison if you want to ask Harrison if Michael B. Jordan listens to the podcast.
Ready?
Go.
Hey, Harrison.
It's me, Donald, again.
Do you remember me?
Yeah, I love talking to you, Donald.
You're one of my favorite podcast hosts.
Thank you very much.
Speaking of podcasts.
Yeah.
Yo, do you...
Michael B. Jordan listens to Fake Doctors real fast.
No fucking way.
No fucking way.
I know Michael.
I've spoken to him, and he's too busy in the gym.
And I know that he's also sober because he's getting that ripped.
So he's not wasting his time with podcasts.
I don't know.
But he doesn't listen while he works out?
No, he listens to the hip hop, Donald.
He likes the hip hop.
Oh.
Harrison.
And scene.
Oh, Harrison.
And scene.
All right. We're almost done here with the television show Scrubs.
Cox finally admits that he misses the, that he misses the, Kelso.
Wait, wait, wait, going too fast.
Janitor has, is trying to help Cox break into the files.
Okay.
And the janitor, he says, he's acting like he's nervous. And Cox is like, you, you're nervous. You do all this weird shit into the files. Okay. And the Jan, he says, he's acting like he's nervous.
And Cox is like,
you,
you're nervous.
You do all this weird shit all the time.
And he says,
Oh,
I'm so immune to the feelings of this that I created a character that I'm
playing.
Who's nervous.
Somebody,
he's somebody who doesn't want to go back to jail.
Yeah.
And then he goes on this whole run.
I can't go back there.
Nothing with that.
After what they did to Johnny.
Johnny.
Johnny.
Oh, Johnny.
They shanked him with a shiv, and they shived him with a shank.
And he goes off on this very long Neil Flynn improvisational monologue about how he missed.
They shanked him with a shiv in the yard, and then they caught him in the cafeteria
and shivved him with a shank.
Johnny.
You know what
that reminds me of? I'm gonna get
you suckered. Tommy.
Yeah.
That's not I'm gonna get you suckered.
No, that's Hollywood.
Hollywood Shuffle.
Tommy.
Tommy.
Tommy. Tommy.
You killed it, my brother.
You killed it.
I loved it, this dude, baby.
That movie holds up.
Oh, it's funny.
Oh, man.
I hope this generation watches that movie.
Now I'm'm gonna stop you
are you i'm gonna you're gonna i'm gonna
shit i forgot the movie i'm gonna stop you out like white on rice
i'm gonna tap dance on whatever the fuck he says as soon as you get your foot off my face
i'm gonna hurt you man who was that tommy davidson no that's freaking robert townsend oh
robert townsend he was hilarious robert townsend robert townsend has directed quite a few things
i know but that's the one i don't know that's the people don't know that was his big hit that was
his big hit though right he's still in the game doing it big people don't know robert townsend
has directed quite a few things quite a few television shows there's another recommendation
for you hollywood shuffle i think we've recommended holds up holds up um okay so uh carla gives a means
to give uh katie a list of things that people are saying about her that's negative, but she gives her a list that just says sausages, sausages, sausages. And she says, sorry, that's Turk's grocery list.
JD can apparently get rid of any woman by telling them that he loves them,
because he has a fantasy where he tells Maddox that he loves her and presents a bouquet of flowers.
And she takes her own life by backing up into an ambulance.
And then he says.
Too harsh, Psyche.
You hurt your own feelings.
Yeah, I hurt my own feelings.
Oh, JT.
Kelso now power walks in a sweatsuit.
Through the hospital. Yeah, like a senior walks in a sweat suit through the hospital.
Yeah, like a senior citizen in a mall.
This shit had me rolling.
When Jordan says, yo, go ask Kelso for help, right?
He knows everybody.
He's got dirt on everybody.
They go to ask Kelso. He goes, only if you tell me you miss me.
And Elliot and JD go, oh, my God, I miss you so much.
And JD goes, I even miss your smell.
I laughed out loud at that part, too.
There were a lot of parts I laughed at.
As much as I did not like not being in the show this had some very funny moments a bunch of mean on the show not only is
there i think uh won the season but then there's going to be six episodes we're going to watch
next season that i'm not in which should be very interesting yeah where it's carrie bechet we got
to have her on dave franco yeah they'll come on so Kelso blackmails uh a board member
Frank um reminds him that he was with a sex worker and Kelso has uh proof of that and so Frank caves
and uh fires Maddox so uh thus ending the the reign of Courtney Cox at Sacred Heart Hospital.
But we find out before Maddox leaves that she and Mickhead banged.
Yes, that was a great final revelation.
Courtney Cox literally goes out with a bang by announcing that she had sex with Mickhead.
His first name is Walter, which we never knew.
Walter Mickhead.
And he liked to choke her.
Yeah.
She says, you shouldn't have to strangle me to keep your erection, Walter.
Yeah.
I think that's her last line on the show.
Amazing.
McHead, first of all, he beat a murder charge, right?
Yes.
But he also strangles his sexual partners to keep erection.
Right.
And listen, to keep erection. Right. And I, listen, I, to each their
own, but I feel like if you beat a murder
charge, you might want to not strangle
your partner.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
So, we end
with Cox and Kelso friends, and
Katie finally comes clean to
Elliot and says, I've been lying.
Can you teach me?
And then we go to Carla, who is in her natural place of being really the-
The lioness.
The lioness, overseeing the ICU and much of the hospital and showing how nurses really do run our hospitals and are in control of the whole thing.
And Carla is representative of that.
And then the show ends with a funny blooper of of Neil riffing on his old friend Johnny Johnny
I'm gonna go to commercial we come back we're gonna do a chat GBT I think I saw
him Joelle will be Elaine from Seinfeld Dana will be Seinfeld I will be playing
JD and Don would playing sorry We'll be right back.
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you.
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions,
we'll talk through it all together.
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs,
more trailblazers, more live events, more Martha, and more questions from you.
I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world. Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup. Dr. Elisa Pressman
about the five basic strategies to help parents raise good humans. Florence Fabricant about the
authenticity in the world of food writing.
Be sure to tune in to season two of the Martha Stewart podcast.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
As important as choosing the right destination when traveling
is choosing the right travel partner.
Gene!
Eugene Fodor!
Gene, we're bored.
Much of the joy you will find on the road
comes from the person you share it with.
So you ride the bus, Gene.
I have a lot of time in this business.
I understand now.
He's a wise man, Mary is a wiser woman.
But be careful and choose your travel partner well,
because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas.
Get down!
I'm not stupid, Jean.
Something is going on and it's high time you tell me the truth.
Freeze, Americano!
Jean, run!
So travel before it's too late.
Your money will return.
Your time won't.
And we're all too quickly approaching that final destination.
Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Scratch, rewatch, show with Zach and Donald.
And we're back.
And we're back. And we're back.
Now listen.
Listen, I don't know that ChatGBT is that funny yet, but it certainly did its assignment well.
All I put in, the only prompt I put in, I'm sure if you put in a longer prompt where you give it more context, maybe it has a better chance of being funny.
longer prompt where you give it more context. Maybe it has a better chance of being funny.
But the only prompt I gave it was write a scene from the sitcom Seinfeld in which Elaine and Jerry meet Turk and JD from the TV show Scrubs. Okay, here we go. Jerry and Elaine are at their favorite coffee shop, Monk's Cafe, enjoying a cup of coffee and chatting.
Suddenly, two young doctors walk in looking lost.
Hey, look who's here.
It's Turk and JD from Scrubs.
What are they doing here?
I thought they worked in a hospital.
Hey, Jerry, Elaine.
We got lost on the way to the hospital.
We could really use some directions.
Yeah, we were hoping you guys could help us out.
Sure thing, guys. What hospital are you heading to?
Sacred Heart Hospital.
Oh, that's a few blocks away. Just head down Fifth Avenue and you'll see it on the left.
Thanks, Elaine. You're a lifesaver. So what brings you guys to New York?
We're here for a medical conference. It's been pretty boring so far,
but we're hoping to
catch a Broadway show tonight. Oh, really? Which one? We were thinking about seeing Phantom of the
Opera. Phantom? That's a classic. You guys are in for a treat. We hope so. Hey, maybe you guys
could join us. Sure, why not? We could use a night out. Sounds like a plan. Let's meet up at the
theater at seven. Great. We'll see you then.
As Turk and JD leave, Jerry and Elaine can't help but chuckle at the unexpected encounter.
Who would have thought? We'd be hanging out with the doctors from Scrubs.
Only in New York, Jerry. Only in New York.
And scene.
I have a couple questions about this.
So we know each other. They know us, right?
Yeah.
In the world of Seinfeld, they know us as two characters from the TV show Scrubs.
The timeline is not mapping.
No.
And they also and Scrubs we know doesn't take place in Manhattan.
No.
And they say it's just down Fifth Avenue on the left.
OK.
So why are we in?
Why are we lost? We just told them Avenue on the left. Okay. So why are we in? Why are we lost?
We just told them we're in a medical convention.
And then also we know their names.
We know that their names are Jerry and Elaine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, Jerry and Elaine.
It's going to be a while.
You know, what's the deal with that?
I didn't say it was tomorrow that the robot wars is going to happen.
It's right around the corner.
I think comedy writers are probably safe for a few years.
No,
maybe not a few years,
maybe a few more months.
Yeah.
Donald's right.
There's probably just a little tweaking to be done and then comedy writers
will be in danger in about seven months.
Thank you guys.
We love you. Follow
Daniel on Twitter
and Instagram and on his Twitch.
What's your Twitch, Daniel?
It's twitch.tv
slash DJ underscore D-A-N-L
Daniel.
You can tell he's serious about it now.
Daniel's now starting to
talk so clearly when he's talking about his now daniel's now starting to talk so clearly
when he's talking about his twitch you don't want to fuck up people not catching your twitch and
joelle do what's your handles remind everyone yeah you guys can follow me all over the internet
at joelle monique that's j-o-e-l-l-e-m-o-n-i-q-u-e and donald um would you like to be followed by
people on instagram i would love to be followed by people on Instagram? I would love to be followed by people on Instagram.
But for some reason...
Oh, God.
Don't go down this rabbit hole.
Just tell me where to handle it.
You guys, just don't freaking get on board, man.
You don't really post that much.
You know what I need to do?
In fairness to the...
With our combined strength,
we can rule this interweb
bring order to this destructive
do you want Harrison Ford
to ask people to follow you
Harrison it is Darth Vader
in your best Han Solo
tell them
I don't do Han Solo
to follow
young Bazan tell them I don't do Han Solo to follow young
I can't do
Han Solo era
you're fucking this up dude
I can't do a fucking good James Earl Jones either
that was pretty good
I don't want the audience to think I'm trying to do
Han Solo
I can only do modern day Harrison
Harrison
it is me Darth Vader
the dark lord of the Sith
for the love
of all things Sith
tell them to
follow Donald underscore
Azon on
Instagram they don't
do it but with their
combined strength they can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.
All right, all right, all right, I'll do it.
Listen, Donald tried to make an Instagram, and he was so stoned that instead of pressing the F for Faison, he hit underscore.
So that might be why it's confusing for a lot of you people.
It was for me.
It's Donald and then an underscore thing and then A's on.
So please follow him because he's really upset about the whole thing.
Okay.
That's all I got to say.
I got to get the fuck out of here.
I want a million. I got to get the fuck out of here. I want a
million. He needs
a million followers.
Now you're just pushing it and no one gives a fuck.
The Jedi
Order is
destroyed because of me.
Don't make me
destroy you.
Follow.
Okay.
And my final ask is please check out the A Good Person trailer.
The movie comes out March 24th at a theater near you.
Please check out the movie.
It stars Morgan Freeman, Florence Pugh, and the legendary Molly Shannon.
And you're going to love it.
The trailer is on YouTube.
Just search for A Good Person trailer.
Coming up soon, March 24th.
Right around the corner. I hope you'll go as many times as Joelle is going to see Cocaine Bear. search for A Good Person Trailer. Coming up soon, March 24th.
I hope you'll go as many times as Joelle is going to see Cocaine Bear.
Alright, thank you everybody. Donald, count us out.
5, 6, 7, 8!
Here's our stories that we all should know. So gather round Hi, friends. I'm Danielle Robay.
And I'm Simone Boyce.
And we're here to introduce you to The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast that's guaranteed to light up your day.
Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, big and small, we'll talk through it together.
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.
Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more.
Now this is a second term we can all
get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my
podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more live events, and more questions from you.
I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who changed the world.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.