Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - Real Friends Classic - 610: My Therapeutic Month with John C. McGinley

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

On this week's episode, the staff at Sacred Heart learn how much they changed over the course of a month. In the real world, Joelle is away, Johnny C is back, and one of our favorite fan callers retur...ns. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:58 Your mama's all right, your daddy's all right. You're just in a little way. Surrender. Surrender. All right. Hey, how exciting was that top secret thing I sent you that the world's soon going to know about? What top secret thing that you sent me that the world's soon going to know about? The top secret thing that we talked about that the world is gonna know about it's pretty amazing dude yeah you know i listened to the last podcast and i was really loud and i
Starting point is 00:02:34 want to apologize to everybody because i was screaming you got too high i'm always high though i know but bro do you think your high level was too high? No, time out. I'm always high, Mr. Red Bull drinker. I'm always high, okay? Yeah, well, Red Bull's caffeine. I'm not pulling a bong. You're not chasing a buzz? You're not chasing a buzz?
Starting point is 00:02:56 I'm not pulling a fucking bong. I'm not judging you for pulling a bong. Anyway, that's not my point. My point is, sorry. Sorry, that's not my point. My point is, I was very loud, and I want to apologize for that. So I'm going to try and get like you, because your voice is very soothing, Zach. I am a soothing guy, yeah. Your voice is so soothing.
Starting point is 00:03:12 I'm not like Josh Radin when he comes on, though. He's a whisperer. Oh, my God. He's a whisperer. Or when he does his Insta live, he's like. Do you want to hear my impersonation of Josh Radin? I want to go first, then you go first then all right you go first he's like on instagram and he's like hey guys i'm just just just walking around paris it's so beautiful uh so beautiful um come to the
Starting point is 00:03:37 show tonight if you can i think you'll have a good time right Right? He's like this. This is my impersonation. I'm in Stockholm tonight. You guys should come through. No. It'll be a really good show. No, you're not like... I'm going to sing all types of hits. You have to ear fuck the audience. He's ear fucking them.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Yours is like a secret. It's more of like you're trying to flirt with a million people. It's more of like you're trying to flirt with a million people. Why do you all of a sudden sound like a soft-spoken MacGruber? Because I'm just gentle. It's like all of a sudden you turned into a soft-spoken MacGruber. Why is he MacGruber? What's the MacGruber part? I don't get that.
Starting point is 00:04:18 It's because the accent that Will does when he plays MacGruber. Hey, guys. He just gets very like, this show's going to be great. I don't know. that Will does when he plays MacGruber. Hey guys. He just gets very like, this show's going to be great. I don't know. I don't know about that. I just know that this show's going to be great. It's going to be acoustic and there'll be lights.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And then you go to the show and then you have a great time, man. We're just taking the piss out of our friend. Go see Josh Radin. He's touring all around Europe right now. He's probably in Stockholm at some point. I know. He's just posted that he's in Paris currently,
Starting point is 00:04:52 but he's just... Go on his Instagram. He's so good live, and it's so fun, and we like to take the piss out of his radio slash Instagram whisper voice, but he is a talented fellow. Is our guest here? We have a guest for you guys.
Starting point is 00:05:07 They are not here. They're not here, but I just texted them to say hey. I don't think that our guest uses the they, them pronouns, DJ Tannel. I was more trying to be- Oh, discreet. Discreet and keep it a secret
Starting point is 00:05:20 so that the fans don't know either or. So is they, them, is they, them here? Does they, them need a text from you? All right. I texted. I texted. Okay. Anyway, we have a surprise guest from you.
Starting point is 00:05:32 It's been a moment since we've had this guest. We also have another surprise great guest for the end of the show. I'm so excited for the surprise. We have such a show. The episode, what did you think of the episode, Don? I laughed very hard at this episode. I laughed a lot at this episode good did you laugh a lot yes i did it was a funny one season six is season six is redeeming itself a little bit yeah this episode for sure i'm in manhattan can you tell yes i can tell i could tell by all the city lights and the
Starting point is 00:06:00 tall buildings and no those aren't in my background, Donald. I know. I was trying not to tell everybody where exactly you were in Manhattan, but he's in his loft, everyone. He's in his loft. I'm in New York City, which is so fun. I'm seeing the Music Man tonight, which I'm very excited about because the Music Man, interestingly enough, was my very, very first audition. There's a character of Winthrop in Music Man and he sings the song Gary Indiana Gary Indiana Gary Indiana that's the town
Starting point is 00:06:28 that knew me when something like that anyway I for the community theater my very first audition at like 8 years old my dad brought me and I stood on a stage I'd never heard the song before I had played it on the record like 100 times
Starting point is 00:06:44 literally on a record player I'd never heard the song before. I had played it on the record like a hundred times, literally on a record player to try and learn the song. And I got up there and I was so nervous and I sang the song and I didn't get the part. And my father, to his credit, would always get the lead. He was like, he was so talented. He was such a talented actor. He would always get the lead in the play. But when he found out that they said, Zach's not going to get the part of Winthrop, the child lead, but he can be in the chorus as one of the many children, because it's about children learning music, my dad said, I won't take the lead.
Starting point is 00:07:17 I'll be in the chorus with my son. Wow. And so my dad and I bonded as we were in the chorus together of this show. So I have a very, very special place in my heart for the show. It stars Sutton Foster, who's one of the most talented people on the stage, and Hugh Jackman, who Donald knows as Wolverine. Not only as Wolverine, but the greatest showman. I don't know if you've ever seen that.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Hugh Jackman. Cox hates Hugh Jackman. Yes, he's jealous. In real life, yeah, because he's jealous. But in real life, man, Hugh Jackman is probably one of the most talented individuals on the planet. I mean, he can do everything from action adventure to romantic comedies to freaking dancing on Broadway and singing on Broadway. And he's very beloved. I don't know that he has many haters. Like, other than Cox, you don't hear people, like, ever say, like, nobody doesn't feel like people are really on the fence about Hugh Jackman.
Starting point is 00:08:20 He's just very well liked. Yeah, except for, like, Deadpool. Like, Deadpool doesn't like Hugh Jackman. He doesn't like the, because of the, but that's a character thing. It's the same thing as Cox in the same way. I imagine John C. McGinley enjoys watching Hugh Jackman and his work.
Starting point is 00:08:37 We should ask him. I saw a- If he ever comes on the show again. I saw a teaser for a movie that looked so uninteresting to me, but I think you were going to be excited. I went the movie theater last night would you say and i saw a trailer for the new um thor ragnarok i mean the new thor doctor strange is that that looks amazing that too looks amazing i saw it and i thought donald going to love this. Marvel has two movies that I am really excited to see. Well, you know, my buddy Sam Raimi, who I was directed by in Oz the Great and Powerful.
Starting point is 00:09:13 He directed Strange. And I must say it looks incredible. He also directed all of the Tobey Maguire Spider-Mans, man. And it's great to have him back in the Marvel universe. Sam had this, I don't know what happened. I guess Oz didn't really work, and Hollywood is so rough. You can have 20 hits, and then you have one giant movie that doesn't work, and you go for a little timeout or something.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I'm just guessing, because I don't know. Or maybe Sam just was exhausted by the system and wanted to take a break. But I'm so happy for him that he's back. The movie looks incredible. I mean, again, it's not my cup of tea but it looks incredible dude you'd like you would like the doctor strange universe you would like no interest that story no interest i know you you say that now like you know i like that that that actress is incredible um um elizabeth olsen elizabeth elizabeth olsen well it takes place right after WandaVision I know you watched WandaVision
Starting point is 00:10:06 I know I think the trailer indicates There's a little bit of a WandaVision tie in I'm really excited for that You know what I'm really excited for though Thor Well as long as they're salty baby As long as they're salty No the new Thor movie
Starting point is 00:10:24 Looked amazing Yeah and isn't Natalie a badass're salty. No, the new Thor movie looked amazing. Yeah, and isn't Natalie a badass in this one? Natalie's the almighty Thor, man. I just saw a paparazzi pic or something where she was ripped. Well, she's always been ripped her whole career, except for when she was pregnant and having a baby. But other than that, she's always been ripped. She's been training to be a Marvel star is my point.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Dude, she was ripped in Star Wars. She was ripped. I mean, like, she's always had, like, a physique of an action hero. Daniel, do you agree that Natalie's arms look slightly bigger than they've been in other films? Well, she's Thor. She's supposed to have bigger arms. That's the fucking point I'm trying to make. That's the point he's trying to make.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I think she has always been fit. Oh, stop dick riding, Daniel. That's the point he's trying to make. I think she has always been. Oh, stop dick riding, Daniel. Daniel, is they them here yet? No. Do you want to call? They are not responding.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I will give a phone call. Why don't you go offline? Okay, we can say whatever we want. He's going to go offline. I love. We can do whatever we want. Okay, so there's that. All right.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Now, here's what I'm really excited for, and I don't know when it's – I know when it's dropping, and I know a lot of stories about it because I have people on the inside, but that Obi-Wan Kenobi, man. Yes. Oh, my goodness gracious. That does look amazing. It looks great, and I'm excited for it. It looks like money was spent.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Well, but well. That's always important. Yeah, now your buddy, are you a fan of Hayden Christensen? He's, I mean, rumored to be back on the show. I do like Hayden. And I don't think, what are the rumors if Darth Maul is going to show up? I hope Darth Maul shows up. There's rumors that Ahsoka could show up.
Starting point is 00:12:06 There's so many rumors. There's so many, so many, so many rumors. None of them, I have no, I have zero. When does it premiere? It's coming up, right? Like the 28th or some shit like that. Oh, you got to wait a month. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Yeah. But I'm excited. I'm excited. I wish you were coming to the theater with me tonight. I wish I was coming with you to the theater tonight. You're always so fun, and then we go out after and have some drinks. Yeah, well, you know what? Last time I had an early call, and I still hung out.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Oh, you didn't join us for after-theater drinks? You guys went. You, Preston, and Flo went to some, like, freaking party somewhere with the cast of the Moulin Rouge. I don't know where you went, but you guys went somewhere. And I had to get back to Jersey because I had an early call. All pre-COVID. Right before COVID.
Starting point is 00:12:51 I got to go back to Miami tomorrow to work more on my Lawrence Vince Vaughn show. I'm doing a scene finally with Vince on Thursday. And I'm really excited about it because I think he's incredible. Do you remember your introduction to Vince Vaughn? Not as a human being, like face to face, but like, do you remember your introduction? Yeah, do you remember? Do you remember quoting that movie and quoting?
Starting point is 00:13:21 Well, Swingers was our life because it was not only the funny, it was such an insider Hollywood movie. And it was, and it was so about our lives. It was like young actors moved. Coming from New York, from New York,
Starting point is 00:13:35 coming to LA. Yeah. Moved out to LA and like trying to make it in LA and like the whole adjustment to, to being an LA person and trying to struggle to become an unknown actor. I mean, it was such a, I mean, people love the movie who had nothing to do with Hollywood. But for us, it was so specifically our lives, right? Completely. I mean, other than like, I didn't go to Dresden.
Starting point is 00:13:58 I didn't go to. Yeah, I didn't go. But we went to other places like that, you know? Yeah. But I didn't go but we went to other we went to other places like that you know yeah but i didn't go to that stuff but like completely everybody taking their own car to the club you know what i mean that was funny and then everyone would bet everyone put the club on their club on their right putting the actual club on their car yeah and then having that one friend that's out of their mind crazy and would pull a gun on somebody like it was like it hit all of the... It hit all of the...
Starting point is 00:14:27 Playing poker. Yeah, playing poker. All of the stereotypes that happened when you first moved to Los Angeles. And even there's insider jokes about when the girl gives him his number. It's Heather Graham, actually. And they go, ooh, what'd you get?
Starting point is 00:14:41 It's like, 818. They're like, 818. They go, 818. They go, 818. They go, 818. They go, 818. He goes, no, 213. They go, oh. No, he go, 818.
Starting point is 00:14:52 No, 310. He go, 818, 213. He goes, 310. They go, oh. What's happening, John? Yo, Batman, he doesn't do that. He doesn't do it like that anymore, man. He makes Star Wars movies.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Man, I think him and Vince need to make a show or a movie together again. I really told him. I saw Vince down there. I got up super early to go to set. And he wasn't working that day, but he was up super early. Where we're staying, there's a shared coffee spot. And I saw him, and we sat down for a second and just chattedatted and I was like, I just got to get this out of the way Vince. The outtakes from the movie
Starting point is 00:15:28 Made are one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And he just started laughing. And I said, the movies are great dude, but I think one of the hardest I've ever laughed is watching Jon Favreau try not to laugh while you're riffing jokes on Per Diem. And he's like, yeah, I always
Starting point is 00:15:43 thought Per Diem was such a funny thing when he's like yeah i always he goes i always thought pretty much a funny thing when i became an actor like so he goes i was just i was just i just turned it into that guy but he goes i always just thought it was so weird you get to a location they hand you a stack of money and you're like so this is this is for me but you're paying me you're paying me but this this stack of money is for me this This is mine for you. So this is mine, right? I think Daniel has figured out our guest, but first, count us in
Starting point is 00:16:11 baby girl. 5, 6, Dan, I'll bring in the guests. I'll bring in the guests. I'm excited about this. I don't know if it's going to work. There's some confusion. There's often confusion, especially when Joelle's not around. You know, Joelle leaves.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Well, let's just keep it honest. Joelle is the queen of this and makes it run so special. There he is, ladies and gentlemen. Direct from his car, Johnny C. McGinley. Thunderous applause, please, Daniel. Hi, Jackie. What up, buddy? Hi, Dave.
Starting point is 00:17:11 What's up, brother? You know, I guess there was a bit of miscommunication, which happens because Donald and I are both working and flying all around, and I understand that you got misinformation, but we wanted to have you on the show either way, even if you're just in a car. We just want to talk to you because we miss you and we love you,
Starting point is 00:17:32 and we want to talk about how ripped you looked at Easter. Oh, my God, dude. What are you doing? What are you doing? Are you on that eugenics? Like, what's going on, bro? I was so happy to see you guys at Easter. I was buzzing off that that i can't even tell
Starting point is 00:17:46 you but johnny you look like a professional weightlifter and i want you to be honest with the audience they won't tell anyone what steroids are you using what do you recommend you're fucking ripped dude dude you're looking great man amazing I was filled with so much love seeing you guys you think I'm bullshit but I'm not my cup was full seeing my Zachy and my deep fizzle
Starting point is 00:18:14 you have no idea did you see how did you see how excited um Donald was to be around his hero Harrison Ford yeah why I mean it made sense to me yeah you know you know what was missing judy was missing and sarah was missing that was truly that was truly you know it would be nice to see judy and her daughter and her husband and
Starting point is 00:18:43 sarah and her kids. It would be great to see them. I don't know that Sarah comes down here that much anymore to the, to, to, to United States because she shoots her show in Van Groovy and she lives in Van Groovy. Is it on Netflix?
Starting point is 00:18:58 Yeah. You won't watch it. It's not about anyone shooting lasers out of their ass. I've watched Firefly Lane. What are you talking about? Oh, what Casey makes you watch Firefly Lane? Yes. You're a fucking liar.
Starting point is 00:19:13 You're a fucking liar. There's no way you're watching Firefly Lane. Johnny, how are you? What's going on in your life? We were talking about how Daniel's helping you build a secret golf uh golf cabin golf uh thing yeah daniel came out to uh to my home and uh i've spent the last couple of weeks building a foundation for a six by uh a 10 by 16 shack that i'm putting up that has enough clearance
Starting point is 00:19:40 in it with no rafters or anything like that for me to take a full swing with a driver and have enough clearance overhead for this to be a full-on golf shack. And I've been thinking about it for a long time. And then I pulled the trigger on it. And so I'm shoulder deep in this. The build is on the 17th and the 18th of May. And I'm just out of my tits excited. Wait, hold on. The build is on the 17th, but you prepped before the build man it's not like they're coming in and they're gonna have nothing to i mean they're gonna have to do all of it you literally have dug a fucking uh uh what is it is it gonna have a sink in it or something like that like you've dug all the way from why does does a golf shack need a sink? No, it's like he's dug a trench.
Starting point is 00:20:27 First, he had to dig a trench. Then he dug a hole. Then he freaking has filled the hole. You're doing all this yourself, Johnny? Yes, man. Yeah, get off on it. It's my thing. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:20:38 I wish I knew how to do that shit. I can't do the finished craft, but I can do the Irish donkey stuff. Like, I can dig a trench. I can build a foundation. I just can't do the craftsman finish work. Well, I'm very excited for you. Will Donald be invited?
Starting point is 00:20:56 Because Donald really likes golf. I got to get my swing back. I got to get my swing back. His dream, Johnny, was to— You ever see Bag of Vance? You done lost your swing? I get my swing back. His dream, Johnny, was to- You ever see Bag of Vance? You done lost your swing? I lost my swing. Well, Donald vacillates between obsession with tennis and obsession with golf,
Starting point is 00:21:11 and he's currently back on tennis. Yeah, golf not so much. But I think once Johnny has his golf shack- I'll be there every day. Yeah. When I told Donald, he just made it very clear. He wants nothing to do with building it. He made that abundantly clear.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Well, that was I get the trick. The trick is I'm building a golf shack. Oh, shit. I'd love to come check out what you've built. You come down and then all of a sudden you're fucking knee deep in soil and fucking wood and chopping and shit.
Starting point is 00:21:42 I can't picture Donald doing that. Hey, Zeki, how'd you make out in Miami? and fucking wood and chopping and shit. I can't picture Donald doing that. Okay. Hey, Zedekie, how'd you make out in Miami? I'm in New York right now. I've been shooting down in Miami. I shot with Rob Delaney, who's a really talented and funny comedian and actor. And I did a scene with,
Starting point is 00:22:02 and I'm working with Meredith Hagner, who's just an incredible, funny comedian. And I start a scene with, and I'm working with Meredith Hagner, who's just an incredible, funny comedian. And I start with Vince on Thursday. Wow. And so how do you, as an unbelievably accomplished actor and film director, how do you approach these things? Do you have, does it not matter whether it's a TV show or a film or a play? Do you have an approach? Like I approach the text the same way no matter what. As a director, do you have an approach that's metered and works for you? Well, it's a great question, Johnny.
Starting point is 00:22:35 I try and let every director know right away, because I do both, that don't worry, I'm not going to try and suggest shots because I wonder I think it would be in the back of my mind if I was working with an actor director that they would be like oh I hope they're not going to come on my set and be like why did you put the camera there so I just I do that shit all the time
Starting point is 00:22:59 I don't so you know I just kind of get the vibe it's always weird when you're coming onto a set that's been going and everyone knows each other but I just try and just stick to my I try and get to know the actors the good news is that I went out
Starting point is 00:23:16 to dinner with both Meredith and Rob who I had my first scene with and we had a good laugh and you know it's great just getting to know them Vince who I work with tomorrow. I was really, excuse me, Thursday. I was really nervous because I'm such a fan and I was just telling these guys before you got on and ran into him at a, at coffee.
Starting point is 00:23:34 And we just sat down and had a great chat and he was super cool. And so I'm excited, you know, that's where I get nervous. I get nervous about just walking onto a set cold and not knowing the actors. Like so many we should reference on Scrubs, wonderful, what they call day players. That means you're coming on for a day or two to do some relatively small parts. These people have to come in. It's a well-oiled machine and just keep up. And we were so lucky to have so many people do that.
Starting point is 00:24:07 In this particular episode, of course, we have Michael Weston. Did Michael Weston get this gig through you, Zachy? Because I know you guys were pals of some. Yes. I mean, I imagine Michael Weston would have gotten this gig on his own because he's a wonderful actor. But I'm sure that because we started out as roommates when we got to la but you guys did a movie first together didn't you before you were roommates that's true we met on a movie my my very first lead role in a movie called getting to know you with heather madarazzo
Starting point is 00:24:37 and it was a million dollar indie we did down in south in asbury park um and um and that was a great experience one of the best experiences of my life because it was like my first part on a movie on location and it was i was i was so excited and and michael and i really bonded and then um we went to sundance with that movie and i think it got sold and then we decided to become roommates in LA and so we were um we lived together and then uh and then when I got Garden State um up and running I asked him to do a funny cameo as uh as a cop who pulled me over uh who pulls me over and um and uh so he did a funny cameo in that and then then when scrubs is happening, I said,
Starting point is 00:25:26 Oh, you gotta, we gotta find something for you to do on this. I'm sure. I'm sure I was the, I was the catalyst. Although of course he could have gotten it himself. Cause he's so darn good.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Right on. I didn't know that history. I knew there was a history, but I didn't know it. You guys have done like four or five movies together. You and Mikey. Yeah. And Michael,
Starting point is 00:25:43 if you remember, wish I was here, my film, those of you who've seen it, he was the the the obnoxious guy who was harassing kate hudson's character at work you're going to see a play with someone that you did a movie with mikey weston with am i right play you said sutton foster's in the play did you have such a foster door no you guys did a play together you didn't't do the movie together. Who did you do the movie with? The real world actress. I mean, she was from the real world.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Oh, Jacinda Barrett, who's incredible. It's an insult to call her a real world actress, although it is true. Yes. It is true. She was on a season of Real World. And I remember having the biggest crush on her because she was so pretty. And then she's one of the rare, I don't know if anybody else from the real world. And I remember having the biggest crush on her because she was so pretty. And then she's one of the rare, I don't know if anybody else from the real world has,
Starting point is 00:26:28 there are a couple of people that have, that have really, that have branched off into the, anyway, she became a really great actress. She was my girlfriend in last kiss and she's fiance or something like that. Right. I don't know if we were,
Starting point is 00:26:40 we were pregnant fiance. Yeah. Fiance. Yeah. Um, and, um, Mikey Weston's in that? Mikey Weston plays
Starting point is 00:26:48 one of my best friends in that. She's married to Gabriel Macht who's a really good actor. Just a little bit of trivia. All right. Let's get into the episode. Johnny, we'll remind you Sasha
Starting point is 00:26:59 I had my character is just this is called my therapeutic month everybody. So to remind you the convention of this is it all takes place over a month. The storyline with you, Johnny, is that Donald has broken his hand
Starting point is 00:27:13 because he and I were getting into some mischief with a ceiling fan. Donald was trying to show off how he could put his hand in and out of the ceiling fan without getting it touched. And then I said, faster or something. Yo, all I remember is this. off how he could put his hand in and out of the ceiling fan without getting it touched and then i said faster or something you know all i remember is this i remember actually shooting this i remember the obi brown talk i remember the i remember i remember the ceiling fan and i remember being like is that i remember that day being like is that that thing going to hold me? Who directed this episode? I want to feel like it's still there.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Ken Winningham directed it. No, Winningham directed it. That's right. Because Winningham, sorry to yell. Sorry to yell. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I'm working on it.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Anyway, and I remember spinning around on that thing and being like, all right, y'all can speed it up a little bit. All right, you can go a little faster. And at one point, my legs literally are in the air it's so funny it's so funny and um and i i go he was like a beautiful brown blur yeah so there are a lot of things that happen in the cold open that are like pretty iconic for scrubs yes there's the deck the deck. Yes. Sasha. Yes. Lloyd. Yes. We learned that Lloyd was on crack.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Well, Lloyd, we learned had a crack problem, and we also learned that Lloyd loves speed metal. Right, which comes back in a very funny way later on in the show where he's driving. You guys are on your way to work. This shit had me rolling. First of all, we learned that he loves speed metal. Then we learned that JD can't hear himself think
Starting point is 00:28:52 when speed metal's on, so he turns it down when in the car with Lloyd. Johnny, I'm literally doing one of the voiceovers, and in the voiceover, you hear the speed metal. And he's yelling over it. And voiceover you hear the speed metal and he's yelling over it and i'm yelling over the speed so i reach over to turn down lloyd's speed metal so that i can hear myself think in the voiceover and then he does the voiceover and then turns the speed metal back up and then lloyd then lloyd then lloyd this how this also had me laughing ll Lloyd tells JD, take the wheel. JD takes
Starting point is 00:29:26 the wheel so Lloyd can drum solo. Then he pushes JD's hand away so he can take the wheel again and rock out to his speed metal. Very funny. Mike Schwartz is so fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Johnny, how funny was Mike Schwartz? Money fucking funny. Johnny, how funny was Mike Schwartz? Money. He was dope. And he played a couple of different characters, didn't he? No, just Lloyd. Just Lloyd. But when he's the delivery guy, is he somebody else?
Starting point is 00:29:56 That's Lloyd. That's Lloyd. We learned that Colonel Doctor is Lloyd's dad. Yes. Johnny, you might not have known this, but in the last episode, there's a brief moment that reveals while JD is duct taped to the ceiling in the cafeteria,
Starting point is 00:30:12 he discovers that Lloyd's father is Colonel Doctor. Those writers were on fire. Dude, this one has some really trippy shit. It all tracks, though. Gloria and the janitor It all tracks, though. Gloria and the janitor. I mean, sorry. Gloria and
Starting point is 00:30:29 fucking... You're going totally out of order, first of all. No, but I'm just talking about all of them. Gloria and Leonard. Thank you. Gloria and Leonard, the hooked-handed security guard, are having a baby. Played by Randall. Now, Gloria seems to me a little bit beyond years.
Starting point is 00:30:45 She's like in her 60s, dude. She's like in her 60s. Or 70s. I don't know you can get pregnant that late. I mean, I'm sure there's examples. I'm sure anything is possible with what we've... I don't know. How old do you think Gloria is, legit? I don't know, but not young enough to be pregnant.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Would you say it's safe? Is it fair to say that Gloria is a senior citizen? Close to it, if not. Yes. Maybe Leonard had the magic seed. Leonard clearly had magic seed because it worked on her. So she's pregnant
Starting point is 00:31:18 with Leonard's baby. And she's going to have it so hard. And she says, I'm going to have your baby so hard. Now, we also learned that Laverne, this is so trippy. Why is Laverne flying? Yeah, that was weird that you were having double fantasies. JD's having double fantasies in this episode.
Starting point is 00:31:44 So do you remember that movie, American Werewolf in London, where he dreams, he has a double dream, where he wakes up in one dream and he thinks it's a nightmare, and then the nightmare is still going, and it's a double dream? J.D.'s having double fantasies in this episode. Well, all I know is we do one of those beauty shots, Johnny, where you see oh the beautiful girl and she's michael weston's characters uh private dancers uh physical uh therapist right
Starting point is 00:32:13 or or yeah his therapist yes and um and she appears to have wings behind her you know it's like oh like she's an angel right then the moment's over and when she walks out of frame laverne is standing there with a stripper but wait no wait wait wait no no don't she was a burlesque dancer i believe sorry my bad laverne the we reveal that the that the wings the wings were from a burlesque dancer that she left them behind and she had syphilis. Yes. Okay. Now you think you're out of the fantasy, right?
Starting point is 00:32:49 But then Laverne starts flapping the wings and flies away. Yes. Which is later brought back, sorry to skip ahead, when J.D. looks out the window and sees that Laverne is still flying, but now outside. And JD says to Laverne, Kelso just had his car washed.
Starting point is 00:33:17 And she goes, I'm on my way. Meaning that she's going to shit on Kelso's car. Now, just because she's holding these wings doesn't mean it's going to shit on a guzzled car. Now, just because she's holding these wings doesn't mean it's going to be bird shit, though. That's the thing. Oh, my God. This is the best episode I've ever heard in my life. I couldn't believe it.
Starting point is 00:33:39 This was a funny episode. This was a very funny episode. A lot of crazy things happened. What season is this? This is season six. It's been a little hit or miss because Donald and I have so far decided that season five in this exercise that we're doing is the funniest.
Starting point is 00:34:00 We should probably talk about Elliot, Keith, and Carla's situation. What, Daniel? We're going to take a break. We're going to take a break. Daniel's here. We don't have Joelle to be our panelist.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Yeah, Joelle knows how to usually finesse situations. Yeah, Joelle will put something in the chat. We got Daniel over there looking like he's having a seizure. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. We're going to take a break, and when we come back, we're going to talk about how Elliot and Keith appear to have sex in a way that's very odd. They mutually
Starting point is 00:34:31 masturbate in separate boxes. We'll be right back. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
Starting point is 00:34:57 I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows.
Starting point is 00:35:43 As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Eugene Fodor! Gene, we're boarding! Much of the joy you will find on the road comes from the person you share it with. So you ride the bus, Gene.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I have a lot of business. I understand now. If you're a wise man, marry a wise woman. But be careful and choose your travel partner well, because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas. Get down! I'm not stupid, Jean. Something is going on in its high time, you tell me the truth. Freeze, Americano!
Starting point is 00:36:22 Jean, run! So travel before it's too late. Your money will return. Your time won't. And we're all too quickly approaching that final destination. Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s.
Starting point is 00:36:45 She looked like a million bucks. With zero qualifications. She had a Harvard plaque. Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents. She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway. Is it like a mansion? Yes, it's a mansion. That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes.
Starting point is 00:37:09 About six million. Approximately 11 million dollars. Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone. Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry. She would probably have sex with one of her clients. Hide your money in your old rich man, because she is on the prowl. Listen
Starting point is 00:37:29 to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back! And we're back. Now, I never knew this, but Elliot has invited Keith to move in with her. Yes. And so there's moving boxes all over the place.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Yes. And Johnny, I don't know if you remember this, but she gets in one box and it's not spoken, but we assume is masturbating. And he gets in another box and we assume the same. And that's how they have what's called box sex. And she asks him after they both climax, were you thinking about me? And he goes, I always think about you in the box. He goes, I always think about you in the box. Elliot is the most twisted.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Oh, my God. She's my cup of tea. Other than the Republican shit, she's my cup of tea. Right. You'd like that. But I don't think you'd like box sex. You and Casey wouldn't have box sex. No. I don't like.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Well, you know what? She's still so fucking kinky though, man. Yeah, she's kinky. Yeah, the things that they do is like, wow, man. That sounds fun. But she's furious. Can we talk about how good to go Sarah Chalk was and how agile she is to pivot on the dime
Starting point is 00:39:02 in anything Billy put on her plate? Yeah. Yeah. She's phenomenally underrated in my brain same with judy of course imagine getting the script and sarah's like reading it and she's like all right in this scene you're um you're gonna have what's called box sex it's something we meet up in the writer's room and you and your partner are going to be in separate boxes masturbating like how right i would be what now that's what i mean that sarah's skill sarah's skills are so incredible that that's no big deal that's a shrug she can she can pivot right into that and that's really hard really yeah now she's livid she's livid that uh keith doesn't use coasters right she's livid that keith won't use coasters but also not only do they have box sex and all of this stuff they don't sleep in the same bedroom because she doesn't
Starting point is 00:40:00 want to feel like you know they're they shouldn't do that before marriage is what she says. And then Laverne says something like, you guys can live in two different states in two different times. If you're doing it nasty, you gonna burn. This coasters thing. How do you...
Starting point is 00:40:22 We have only men on the show today. Daniel, your thoughts on coasters i mean i don't think that i feel like a lot of things have to go wrong for a cup to really leave a stain on a piece of wood you'd be surprised dude all it needs is a little condensation and that's a wrap there's there's definitely a um there's like a moment where my opinion on it changed post larry david in that episode of respecting wood when um julia louis-dreyfus leaves a cup on the counter and before i wouldn't think about it at all but now that i own my own furniture i'm like yeah man you better put a coaster down under that cup it's yeah if it's cold enough it's
Starting point is 00:41:02 about to sweat onto my table i'm not trying to get no rings on that thing. I know, but people want coasters. No, but dude, you spend a lot of money on wood too, man. Like, let's think about it. Let's just talk about since COVID and how much wood is costing now. You know what I mean? Like wood, especially once you start getting
Starting point is 00:41:18 into different levels of wood. Let's talk about your loft and all the beautiful wood that you have in your loft. You know what I mean? That shit is expensive. And if somebody fucking disrespect i agree with that a hundred percent to if i spent hundreds of dollars on a table on a coffee table and you come over and disrespect what i have in my house by putting your cup on that shit we got a little bit of beef dude like 100 man like but i don't feel that
Starting point is 00:41:46 you're gonna go and get a coaster i feel like is casey gonna go get a coaster no man if anything we're gonna be like i'm gonna pick it up and i'm i'll go i might not get a coaster but i'll be like we got coasters on the table matter of fact matter of fact casey when when i first started dating casey right and we moved in together she was like she had a table and it was a very beautiful table and it had glass on the top of it. But underneath it was like very nice carved wood. It was a coffee table. And to make sure that I use coasters, she bought me Star Wars coasters. Wow.
Starting point is 00:42:23 And was like, here, you can use this so that when... But you don't need a coaster on glass, do you? No, no, dude, you don't. But that's... Johnny, you seem like you're a coaster serious kind of guy. I am, but I would like to offer a solution. I just put books everywhere on expensive wood. And you can put your thing down on
Starting point is 00:42:45 the book all you want it's no problem yeah believe it or not a book is expensive would to hello oh my gosh all right listen when did mr. environment get here I know well there's a moment where Turk is in bed and Carla wakes up. And he's making noises. And the implication is that he's masturbating. What's wrong with masturbating with the lady next to you? Do you do that? No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:43:17 But what's wrong with that? Like, I don't understand what the issue is with that. I think people, I don't know. It's each their own but i think i feel like i'm guessing the woman might be like are you fucking kidding me right now well look here's the thing here's the thing this is what i this is the wait wait you let me finish with reminding people what happened you think he's beating off and then we pull back to reveal that he's under the covers eating chicken wings but he's making noises like i just feel like okay if your wife i mean i don't know if this is this is totally
Starting point is 00:44:04 i'm sure you'd get a zillion answers if we were able to poll our audience one day. One day in the future, we'll be able to poll our audience. Well, we're not doing that. When we do the live show, we can poll our audience. We can poll them. We'll poll them. Right. Anyway, long story short, I don't know how women or men, or I guess it's either sex or either sexuality.
Starting point is 00:44:23 If you ain't giving it up and the other person says, I want it, and you're like, nah, I'm going to bed, you can't be upset if that person masturbates next to you is my point. See, I bet that's a big debate amongst couples. Also, what happens if they did give it up, but you're still horny like you are, like Donald's someone who can go like nine times that day. Is she going to be offended? Yeah. Yeah, it's true. John, Johnny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:51 It's true. I know your prowess is a hall of fame. It's not gone down at all. It's not gone down at all, Johnny, since puberty. It's not gone down at all, Johnny, since puberty. Listen, I am starting to think maybe it's more of an issue than it is a fun little fact about Donald. You know what I mean? You're debating whether or not it's an asset or a liability?
Starting point is 00:45:23 Yes. Well, we know it's a bit of a liability because it's a source of arguments with his wife who, who's had, who sometimes is like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. We've had sex. Leave me alone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Like, I remember the other day, my wife, I, we, my wife and I, we had sex and like about 20 minutes later, I was like,
Starting point is 00:45:44 don't you feel like you want to just do it again? And she was like, no. I don't. I don't. Casey, come down. I'm just kidding. All right, let's keep going. You sing My Name is Luca.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I live on the second floor. I live upstairs the second floor. I live upstairs from you. I think I have seen you before. Yeah. If you hear something late at night. Go ahead. Some kind of troublesome. Some kind of a fight.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Just don't ask me what it was just don't ask me what it was i used to love that song my name is luke it's a very sad song actually it's about child abuse but it is pretty who who sang who invented that song daniel that? That's a good look up. Come on, Joel would have been on this, Daniel. Oh. What is the song called? Luca. My Name is Luca.
Starting point is 00:46:51 By whom? We're trying to find out by whom, Daniel. Oh, that's right. Yeah, okay, that's right. Come on, Daniel. Daniel, that's by whom? I'm usually doing the other part. Suzanne Vega.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Oh, yeah, Suzanne Vega. Yeah, Suzanne Vega. Anyway, so, Johnny, your storyline in this is that Donald broke his hand with the fan accident. And Kelso says, well, if you're not going to be, since you can't do surgery because you have a cast on your arm, I'm going to put you down with a cox and I'm going to make you a resident. And maybe you can, you're not just going to be a scalpel jockey. You're going to actually have to learn some of the medicine like the doctors do when they're on rounds with cocks. And he comes down there and he puts on a pair of glasses because he thinks that the medical doctors are nerdy.
Starting point is 00:47:42 And so he tries to fuck with everyone by wearing a pair of Clark Kent-looking glasses. And you instantly start quizzing him as you do the residents on medical questions, and he knows nothing. The reason he begins to sing My Name is Luca is that you ask for, I forget what it is, but you say, what are some common ways to treat lupus? And then he finds his way into singing My Name is Luca. Do you remember the movie Luca? No. I remember the movie Lucas. Oh, I loved Lucas.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Good movie, Johnny. Who was in Lucas? No. Luca. Was Charlie Sheen? Yeah, Charlie Sheen is in it. Charlie Sheen was in Lucas. Oh, I loved Lucas. Good movie, Johnny. Who was in Lucas? Was Charlie Sheen? Yeah, Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen was in Lucas. Right, but they called him Luca, short for Luca Plakia in that movie. Corey Haim, if I'm correct, right?
Starting point is 00:48:38 I'm pulling it up right now because Daniel's not going to do it right. It was really good. Yeah, Corey Haim plays Lucas. lucas and kerry green i had such a crush on her goodies baby i mean kerry this is 86 this is when i you know i had reached the age where it was like oh these are new feelings yeah and kerry green winona rider's in it? Yeah, Winona Ryder plays his best friend.
Starting point is 00:49:09 It's a good movie. Great movie. Corey Haim. Corey Haim. Who directed it, Jackie? Okay, checking, Johnny. David Seltzer. David Seltzer.
Starting point is 00:49:19 David Seltzer got it. He wrote it as well. Wow. Okay, so you guys should check that movie out if you haven't seen it. It's an 86 classic. All right, moving on here. Another funny bit that happens during the show is because Donald has become a medical intern under the tutelage of Dr. Cox, he starts taking over the side turn of the head.
Starting point is 00:49:40 And the theme starts, and he goes, and that's when I realized that maybe Dr. and I come over and I'm like, what are you doing? That's my thing. Yeah, and he goes, and that's when I realized that maybe Doctor and I come over and I'm like, what are you doing? That's my thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you hear the... You hear the... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Well, J.D. says to him, J.D. says, yeah, you don't like, you think it's nothing now that you don't know the answer. But pretty soon, you're going to want his, like, pretty soon you're going to want his attention or you're going to crave his approval. You're going to crave his approval. And then right away, Turk goes into looking off and goes, you know, J.D., I don't know what J.D. was talking about, but at the end of the day, and you immediately jump back in. See? See. See?
Starting point is 00:50:25 See? See? And Johnny, Cox is fucking with him the whole time, trying to prove that he doesn't know anything. Now, there's a very, one of the most bizarre subplots, the janitor's subplot. I guess you would call the C story. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Or I don't know if you'd call it the D story. But for no reason it's really really weird but um the janitor decides to grow um mutton chops yes and and it looks really bad it looks like i say it looks like tiny dent hamsters died all over your face. And he says, you say that now, but wait for a week from now, and it'll look amazing. No, two weeks from now. Then it cuts to two weeks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:11 And not only, but bizarrely, this is never addressed at first, but Snoop Dogg resident is there, and he also now has mutton chops. Mutton chops, yes. Yes. Well, he tells you that it's going to catch on and everybody's going to do it. Oh, okay. So that's why.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Okay. So the janitor starts a trend saying, oh, you're making fun of me? Watch. This is going to catch on and everyone's going to grow mutton chops. Well, Snoop Dogg resident... Is the first.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Is the first to catch on. And he's rocking some serious. He got some mutton chops. Mutton chops. Okay. And it turns out that, but then it turns out that the janitors was faking the mutton chops. And they weren't real. And he takes them off.
Starting point is 00:52:01 And that. You're jumping ahead. But okay, fine. Yeah, but that's what we're supposed to do right with Joelle I hear everything's falling apart but I miss you Joelle listen what happens is
Starting point is 00:52:13 Keith Elliot pretty much says to Keith look this is my house you just have your room and Keith to get back at Elliot decides to throw a party that Elliot's not invited to. In his room. In his room.
Starting point is 00:52:34 That he rents. And at the party, the janitor is sort of holding court. With all of the mutton chop followers. Everyone at the party has mutton chops. Yes. It makes no sense at all. It's a mutton chop party. And that's when he reveals
Starting point is 00:52:54 that his chops were fake. But the janitor then pulls off his mutton chops to reveal that his were fake just to prove to everyone that they're just followers and he could make them do anything. But,
Starting point is 00:53:09 but I understand the point of any of that. Yeah. This is my, this is my favorite episode I've ever heard in my life. You know what I'm really liking? There's a new podcast guys, audience. It's called,
Starting point is 00:53:22 it's called, it's called Donald and Zach explain an episode of Scrubs to Johnny C. McGinley. It's great. It's sublime. It's fantastic. Well, this one's a hard one to follow if you haven't seen it recently. Because, I mean, you got Nurse Roberts pooing from the sky on Kelsey's car. With burlesque wings.
Starting point is 00:53:45 That might have syphilis on them. That might have contracted Nurse Roberts might have contracted syphilis from the wings. From flying to go poo on Kelso's car. So I was going to say this. Kelso goes on a
Starting point is 00:54:01 vacation with his son. Yes. Kelso comes back from the Bahamas on a trip from his son, and he has had his hair braided, and he complains. He uses a term we don't use anymore, but it turns out that some of Harrison's transgender friends thought it would be funny to braid his hair. In cornrows. In cornrows. In cornrows.
Starting point is 00:54:27 In cornrows. Is that a wig, or did they really cornrow Kelso's hair? It's got to be a wig. I don't know. It's got to be a wig. I don't know if they did that. I don't think that Ken would sit there. I don't think Ken came in and was like, yeah, all right,
Starting point is 00:54:37 just cornrow it out. Iverson. I want the Iverson. That takes a lot of time. Yeah. Anyway, it must have been a wig But it was a funny wig whoever did it And he's also sunburned
Starting point is 00:54:48 Oh sorry It was done to him while he was asleep in the sun Yes So he's sunburned and he has cornrows Now this was something that I learned At the end of the episode That kind of I didn't think about this before I learned at the end of the episode that kind of.
Starting point is 00:55:10 I didn't think about this before, but this makes it so much. And now I get why J.D. is having such a hard time asking people out and jumping back into the relationship world. It's not necessarily because him and Kim didn't work and he's kind of feels vulnerable and everything like that. But what if it does get to the level where JD has sex again? He could actually pass out from having sex. And that's what he's afraid of. He says it in his speech. Not only can he pass out from pooing, but there's a strong possibility that he could pass out from having sex. His attempt at hitting on that woman is so funny.
Starting point is 00:55:47 I wanted to write it down, but it was too long. But he's like, goes into this long tirade about how he's trying to ask this beautiful woman out. And he goes, look, I live in a tent. I occasionally pass out from pooping. I recently got my
Starting point is 00:56:03 ex-girlfriend pregnant and we never even had sex he lists how shitty his life is but then he's like would you be willing to go on a date with me she's like no and he goes just no and she's like no
Starting point is 00:56:18 no explanation just no and she's like yeah no just no I can't's like, yeah, no. No. Yeah, no. Just no. I can't wait to watch this episode. You're going to love it. And then the show ends with a great song by Travis called Turn, which I've always loved. And the highlight, the actual win of the episode,
Starting point is 00:56:40 is that Private Dancer has been struggling, has been struggling to sign his name, and his counselor, the woman I unsuccessfully hit on, is successful in getting him to write his name again after his brain trauma. And that's kind of the big win that happens in the episode. I, Johnny, in the previous episode, got a scootering while under the influence because I was pushing my scooter and I was intoxicated. And so my scooter has had a
Starting point is 00:57:13 breathalyzer attached to it. I'm finally allowed to drive it again, but I have to blow into the breathalyzer. Like, I think they have this actually for cars, right? Doesn't this happen to you? Yes, they definitely do. Okay. So it's a thing that happens if you get a DUI that they put on cars. like, I think they have this actually for cars, right? Doesn't this happen to you? Yes, they definitely do. Okay. So it's a thing that happens if you get a DUI that they put on cars. I don't think they actually put it on scooters. But anyway, I could be wrong. But anyway, he's about to finally drive off on his scooter again
Starting point is 00:57:37 for the first time, and he explains this to the janitor, and the janitor is about to start his shift, and the janitor grabs the tube and blows into it, and the engine won't start. And the janitor's like, I got to go. My shift's about to start. The janitor goes to where he's drunk. That's when we learn.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Well, we know the janitor's a drinker. But we didn't know he was always drunk. All right, that's the episode. It was very funny. Johnny, do you want to stay for the caller? We have a caller that's, I think, right up your alley. You're going to really enjoy them. Yeah, 100%.
Starting point is 00:58:11 All right, we'll be right back with the caller you're not going to want to miss. We'll be right back. iHeart Podcast update this week on your free iHeartRadio app. In retrospect, revisit pop culture moments from the 80s and 90s and try to understand what it taught us about the world and a woman's place in it. Crying in public. Two 20-something college women living in NYC dive into growing up at a time when there was no distinction between what's public and what's private.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Best of both worlds. A discussion on work-life balance, career development, parenting, time management, productivity, and making time for fun. Hear these podcasts and more on your free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
Starting point is 00:59:06 I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
Starting point is 00:59:47 get your most fabulous shows. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s. She looked like a million bucks. With zero qualifications. She had a Harvard plaque. Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents. She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway. Is it like a mansion? Yes, it's a mansion. That this queen of the con uses to scam some of the biggest names in professional sports out of untold fortunes. About six million.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Approximately 11 million dollars. Nearly 10 million dollars was all gone. Employing whatever means necessary to bleed her victims dry. She would probably have sex with one of her clients. Hide your money in your old rich man because she is on the prowl. Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald.
Starting point is 01:00:55 And we're back! And we're back! So, Johnny, just to give you a little background, this couple, they use a pseudonym, Johnny, because this is the third time on the show. It no longer has anything to do with scrubs. We're just so interested in them. They have an arrangement where she is every so often allowed
Starting point is 01:01:13 to bang his best friend. Whenever she wants to. Well, I think we'll check with her, but I think she goes over to his house, and the husband is okay with it, and they bang. And he has yet, we said, are you allowed the same luxury? He said yes. He said yes, but I haven't found the woman or one of her friends that I really would like to do it with.
Starting point is 01:01:43 We're hoping right now that he has found someone. So we always hope. We always check in with them every so often to see if he's had his chance to have his yin-yang. I don't know if that's the right way. Do you know how this has impacted me? How? You rock hard right now.
Starting point is 01:02:02 I pulled over. Johnny can't wait. I pulled over. Someone texted me. Joelle texted me. By the way, we got the couple again. Do you think Johnny C will be okay talking to them? I said, are you kidding me? This will make Johnny C's day.
Starting point is 01:02:21 I pulled the truck over on the side of the road Alright good Alright here we go bring him in Daniel We got a collar Who gave us a holler We can talk Star Wars or sing show tunes You know like a baller Smoke some jazz cabbage
Starting point is 01:02:38 Maybe talk about the episode So come on Joelle Let's get the show on Ladies and gentlemen Give it up for Michelle the episode. So come on, Joelle, let's get the show on the road. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Michelle! Michelle! Thunders applause, everybody. Michelle, welcome back to the program. I want to introduce you to the legendary Johnny C. McGinley, who plays Dr. Cox on the show. Hello. Hi, Michelle. I pulled over to be able to meet you and experience you.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Well, I am flattered. We told Johnny about your situation and how it's unique, and Donald and I find it fascinating. And he was so struck by the scenario that he pulled over his car because he wanted to be able to safely focus on the story. But, and Michelle, I hope you never, and Michelle is your pseudonym, by the way, just for the audience to know. We hope you never think for any possible way we are laughing at you or,
Starting point is 01:03:37 or anything. We're just so fascinated by this, this unique anecdote. And we, we are big, um, um, what's the word preachers of whatever anyone's, uh, sexual identity is or whatever their situation is. And it works for them is magnificent as long as, uh, it's consensual and, uh, and no one's being harmed. So I didn't want you to think that we always have you back on. We're just so curious because as men, we don't even have Joelle today. As men, I think it's safe to say I can't speak for Johnny yet,
Starting point is 01:04:11 but Donald, Daniel, and I would have such a problem with this arrangement. So we're just so fascinated. We're here to check in. How's it going? Is your husband still okay with this all? Are you guys still married? Has he stepped away from the situation? Has he had his chance to be with this all? Are you guys still married? Has he stepped away from the situation? Has he had his chance to
Starting point is 01:04:27 be with another woman? We want a follow-up. Or another man. Or person. I'm afraid I'm going to be a very boring podcast guest because nothing has changed. We're still married. He's actually picking up our kids
Starting point is 01:04:44 from school right now. That's usually my job, but he took over today so I could talk with you guys. He has not done anything. I don't know that he ever will. I don't know that that is something that frustrates you. Does that frustrate you? Okay, cool. No. So he has his own things that I'm not going to go into. That's his thing if he ever wants to join and talk to you guys. But this is something that I'm not going to go into. That's his thing if he ever wants to join and talk to you guys. But, you know, this is something that I wanted. It doesn't have to be something that he wants, but it's something that he wants.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Oh, I see. So what you're saying and something I think that's new to us is you're saying without saying anything private about him that you guys might have an arrangement that says, hey, you like to do X, Y, and Z. In exchange for that, I'm going to be with your friend every so often. It's not even an exchange thing. His thing started long before mine did.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Him coming to me and being open about it gave me the space of the room to come to him and say, hey, I'm having these feelings. I'm kind of interested in doing this. I don't think I ever could have done that if he hadn't started and been open with me about things. So he introduced you to the life then. That's what you're pretty much saying. We don't know what his thing is and we're respecting his privacy. we don't know we don't know what his thing is and we're respecting his privacy but i'm saying i think what's so interesting to us is that it well to me personally i'm not speaking for these other gentlemen is that it's just so fascinating that it's a very good friend of yours and johnny the
Starting point is 01:06:16 friend comes over and hangs out with the kids and uh they all they all watch tv together um it's just i i i just feel so i don so, uh, I don't know, unbelievable. Okay. So here's the question. Has it trans, has it turned into anything else between you and the friend? Like before it was you and your husband is very secure with your relationship. Is it still the same type of, is it still the same type of is it still the same type of thing no feelings like like look if i'm not if i have sex with someone enough i might eventually be like oh man i have emotional feelings to an emotional attachment also yeah are you worried about catching a moat are you worried are you worried about catching feelings with the friend?
Starting point is 01:07:07 I always view love as a spectrum. I love my husband. That's all the way over here. I do love this friend, but it's not a love that I'm going to run away from my husband and my family and go and live with him. I love him. I care for him in a way that's different than my husband, but there's, there are feelings there and that's okay. Yeah. Yeah, it is. And, um, do you, do you ever, um, uh, is it a set schedule or do you, are you, are you allowed to, um, what if you're like, is it like, Hey, every, so every other
Starting point is 01:07:39 Thursday I'm making this up, I go, or, or, or are you allowed to go whenever you want? I go, or are you allowed to go whenever you want? It's been a schedule. So every other, it's Wednesday, but every other Wednesday, we just plan. I have dinner done and I go over there a little bit later after dinner. My husband puts the kids to bed, does whatever he wants. And it's just kind of part of our routine. And sometimes it has to change because of scheduling things. And I am more than happy to change if like my husband has plans or wants to do something, but we just kind of usually keep it on the same, same day every
Starting point is 01:08:14 couple of weeks. And do you stay over there or do you come back home, come back home? Yeah, I come back home. I mean, I stay stay relatively late we usually watch a couple of movies and just like talk for a while so yeah but i'm i'm always in bed at my home are you open to vacation yeah what if the what if the friend is like hey uh oh i have another question how is what the friend obviously is sexually attracted to you. It goes without saying. Um, what if he starts, he must have feelings for you. Uh, what about his dating life? Does he, do you, do you ever think that this relationship with you might be keeping him from branching out and, and finding someone else because he, he only gets you, you know, two Wednesdays a month. Yeah. And that is something that I ask him frequently.
Starting point is 01:09:06 He is, he's tried the dating apps. I've asked him like, he just does not care for that type of interaction. Yeah. I mean, I've told him many times, if this is holding you back in any way, then, you know, just say the word and we'll cut back in whatever way, you know, And, you know, just say the word and we'll cut back in whatever way, you know. He's still going to be our friend. So there will be no hard feelings. I probably am annoying about asking him. But, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Johnny, do you have any questions for Michelle? Well, the only thing I can own is a fatal flaw of mine. I have horrible jealousy issues. Yeah. And so that's why this is, or I did, I got, I kind of managed all that, but I mean,
Starting point is 01:09:50 I had a horrible, horrible jealousy issues, which is all inadequacy and insecurity. And I've worked through it, but I, this is so alien to me just because I feel so, um, I,
Starting point is 01:10:03 I've dealt with so much jealousy, which is all self-generated, and I know the whole catalog. Well, Johnny, you're talking about, I think, I mean, it's safe to say, you're talking about feeling jealous in a situation that isn't, this is like double black diamond marriage dating. I mean, you're talking about green circle shit. I find this just completely and utterly fascinating.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Yeah, me and Donald do too. Because we would be jealous too. That's why we always found it interesting. I get jealous when I see Donald hanging out with other men. But I don't flaunt it in your face, man. Sometimes he'll post something with Seth Green but i don't flaunt it in your face sometimes you'll post something with seth green i don't like that zach would you like me to talk about the people that
Starting point is 01:10:51 you have been flaunting your little i didn't i only sent you one for morgan freeman i could have sent you many of morgan and i morgan freeman jay-z uh not jay-Z. That Jay-Z picture's old. Doesn't matter. What's his name? The little redhead dude. What's his name? Ed Sheeran. The little redhead dude. The little redhead dude.
Starting point is 01:11:17 We all share the fatal flaw of jealousy. Yeah. I give all the props in the world to my husband because he i mean and it's not do you think you'd be able to i'm sorry to cut you up but do you think you'd be able to hold your jealousy in in that situation like it's easy to say but do you honestly feel like yeah i know it is easy to say and people can judge all they want and say, well, I think it'd be different if he did. I've thought through it a ton and yeah, I would probably ask
Starting point is 01:11:53 more questions. You're so mature. I just think I couldn't, I could not handle it. It's just, it's so, I mean, but I just think it's so – what I think is so cool is that you two found something that works. It clearly isn't hurting your relationship at all. Things seem to be great. He seems content. You seem doubly content. It works, which is kind of – which is so inspiring. I mean, there's so many incarnations of what a relationship could be, of course,
Starting point is 01:12:27 if people could handle it. I just couldn't. I wonder, and I'm sure there are people out there that are like that, but part of it has, and I'm not speaking for your husband and I'm not speaking for you, but I'm sure there are people out there that are like that but part of it has and i'm not speaking for your husband and i'm not speaking for you but some i'm sure there are people out there that
Starting point is 01:12:47 listen to this podcast and get turned on by this and find this you know find this uh uh in in some way something that maybe they want to do uh in their relationship are there any type of are there any type of uh like what's the best advice to get into? Yeah, well, that's a good hosting, Donald. If there's someone listening who finds the Michelle scenario that she has with her husband fascinating. Michelle, do you have any advice on how to broach it with your partner? Because I'm sure there's people listening who are like, go on, preach. I'm intrigued. So, I mean, every relationship is different.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Communication is the key. Like we talked about it a ton before anything happened. He did need reassurances, which I understand that like this wasn't going to evolve into something that is going to leave him high and dry. We still talk about it, not like every week or anything, but just a month and a half or so ago, we sat down and we, he's like, I'm kind of in my head about it. And so we talked through it. And every time we have one of those talks, like our connection gets deeper. Like we have conversations that I can guarantee you a lot of relationships don't have because of this situation.
Starting point is 01:14:04 I can guarantee you a lot of relationships don't have because of this situation. Yeah. Well, you clearly have amazing communication. And that's the key to any sort of relationship is the successful ones seem to be all about open communication. As important as choosing the right destination when traveling is choosing the right travel partner. Gene! Eugene Fodor! Gene, what's budding?
Starting point is 01:14:33 Much of the joy you will find on the road comes from the person you share it with. So you write the books, Gene, and the last hour on the business. I understand now. He's a wise man, Mary is a wiser woman. But be careful and choose your travel partner well, because the worst trips result when two partners have two different agendas. Get down!
Starting point is 01:14:55 I'm not stupid, Jean. Something is going on and it's high time you tell me the truth. Freeze, Americano! Jean, run! So travel before it's too late. Your money will return, your time won't, and we're all too quickly approaching that final destination. Listen to Fodor's Guide to Espionage on the iHeartRadio app,
Starting point is 01:15:16 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack. And it's about time queer and trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words. I'm Raquel Willis. Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles, a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words. This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states. I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case. And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them. This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want
Starting point is 01:16:13 to grow into. Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. I used to have so many men. How this beguiling woman in her 50s. She looked like a million bucks. With zero qualifications. She had a Harvard plaque. Tricks her way past a wall of lawyers and agents. She's got all of these Maseratis and Bentleys all in the driveway.
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Starting point is 01:17:06 She would probably have sex with one of her clients. Hide your money in your old Richmond, because she is on the prowl. Listen to Queen of the Con, Season 5, The Athlete Whisperer, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:17:21 wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I want to thank you for coming back on. Uh, you just, do you have any questions for us or anything like that? No, she's probably over us. She's like,
Starting point is 01:17:36 stop fucking calling me. She's like, right. She's right. We're the boy. We're the boyfriend. That's always like, Hey,
Starting point is 01:17:42 big head. What you doing? You up? You up? You up? Always happy to chat with you guys. Since John C. McGinley is on here, I had a question for him. Yeah, go for it. Go for it.
Starting point is 01:17:56 So you frequently called JD a girl's name in the show. I need a girl's name to call my husband when I need to just knock him down. No. Holy shit. It just got interesting, people. I suggest I'm feeling a strong Susan vibe. Susan's always good. Susan's always good.
Starting point is 01:18:20 So I want you to do a graph, a bar graph of all the different names and how many I was called and how many times each one was used. I feel like Gloria is used a lot. Gloria, Susan, not a lot of Karen. Well, now Karen's taking on a whole other thing. I'm worried about Gloria having a pregnancy so old. Magic seed. I'm worried about Gloria having a pregnant pregnancy. So old magic seed, the magic seed will eclipse it all. Do you know?
Starting point is 01:18:52 Oh my gosh. All right. Anyway, Michelle, thank you so much for coming on. We appreciate you. And, and we promise we'll stop bothering you. We just,
Starting point is 01:19:00 we just, we're just, we're just, we're just a bunch of, of curious men who find this story unique. And thank you for entertaining us. Yeah, thanks for having me, guys. All right, bye.
Starting point is 01:19:12 Thank you for being here. Take care. Yo, dude. I just, she seems to always be down to chat about it. I just find it so unique. Like, the fact that it's his best friend is, I think, maybe what makes it extra bizarre. I know, but she's so grounded and real. And there's no affectation of any kind.
Starting point is 01:19:40 She said every time they communicate, their relationship gets deeper. It's the most incredible thing I've ever heard. Yeah. It's just so unique to me because I know about open relationships. I'm not an idiot. But the fact that this is his best friend. He comes over for movie night and they all watch movies with the kids. That's just one step.
Starting point is 01:20:01 My brain can handle that certain couples have open relationships. The idea that it's his best friend, my brain can't handle. Yeah, it would suck. I mean, I'm not going to say it. I take that back. It would be really different if you came over and hung out with me, Casey, and the kids. And then on Wednesday, Casey was like, I'm going to pack up. I'm like, where are you going?
Starting point is 01:20:24 And she's like, I'm going to head over to Zach's. It's Wednesday. You know I fuck Zach on Wednesday. You know we fuck on Wednesday, Casey was like, I'm going to pack up. I'm like, where are you going? And she's like, I'm going to head over to Zach's. It's Wednesday. You know I fuck Zach on Wednesday. You know we fuck on Wednesday. You have to put the kids down, Susan. And then calls me Susan. And then calls me Susan. Anyway, that's our show.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Johnny, we love you. I'm so glad I pulled over. Well, you know. The new podcast is We Explain Episodes to Johnny. That's hilarious. You guys crushed that. We Explain TV Episodes to John C. McGinley.
Starting point is 01:20:57 Zach Braffendahl-Faison Explain Old Episodes of Scrubs Johnny Hasn't Seen to Johnny While He Drives. Johnny, we love you. It was great to watch. The audience didn't get the pleasure of watching Johnny's face during all of that. It was wonderful to see as he took it all in.
Starting point is 01:21:19 I loved listening to you guys story tell me while I was driving. But I'm damn sure I had to pull over for Michelle. I'm glad I did, too. Yeah, you are. You're going to think about this for a while, too. I thought about this for so long.
Starting point is 01:21:38 I was like, whoa. Why does that resonate for us? It's clear. It's the best friend part so i mean it's the best friend part dude it's the best friend part it's not the it's not the open relationship no many people have that it's the best friend hanging out with them part yeah i think you're right i think you're right that's where it gets that's where it gets like oh shit this dude even comes over and hangs out with the both of them although she implied this time for the first time, without going into any detail,
Starting point is 01:22:06 that he has his own thing that she's okay with. We have no idea, of course, what that is. Right. So I think there may be more mutualness to this than we know. Right. Imagine if it's like, well, he plays D&D on Wednesdays. He beats off to Daniel's Twitch. on Wednesdays. He beats off to Daniel's Twitch.
Starting point is 01:22:28 When you just personalized it and made it you, Donald, and Zach, I couldn't even handle that. I can't handle it. I'm too... I don't know. I don't have the tools. I'm dying to know what this thing is. It's definitely watching Daniel's Twitch
Starting point is 01:22:45 She's like if you're going to watch that Fucking shit I get to get fucked He's like but I love Daniel's Twitch and she's like Well I love fucking Dave Oh boy Oh, boy. All right, that's our show. We love you guys very much.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Johnny, I love you. I love you, Johnny. I love you, D. It's good to see you, brother. Count us out, Donald. Five, six, 7, 8. I said he's got stories about a show we made. About a bunch of docs and nurses and a janitor who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that we all should know. So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear our
Starting point is 01:23:39 Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach and Donald. Mm-hmm. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind.
Starting point is 01:24:04 Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more live events, and more questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare. Encore Jane about creating a billion-dollar startup.
Starting point is 01:24:33 Walter Isaacson about the geniuses who changed the world. Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The second season of El Flow is here. Step into the ever-evolving world of reggaeton and get up close with both legendary figures and emerging talents in the industry. Part of the enormous significance of reggaeton is really the way in which personal narratives connect to larger things going on historically and socially. Listen to El Flow on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 01:25:12 or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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