Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald - SURPRISE: Star Wars with Donald and Joelle
Episode Date: December 31, 2020Hey FDRF fans. Here's a dry run of the Star Wars pod. We're still working out the details - but we'd love to hear your thoughts on this early test. For FDRF fans not so into Star Wars, this is a one t...ime experiment, and we promise to return to our regular schedule next week. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hello.
How you doing?
I'm good. how are you doing?
Chilling
You know
Chilling
Chilling
How's your Wednesday coming?
Listen, bruh, it's cold
It's officially winter in LA
So I'm dealing with that
I've layered up with the sweaters
Trying to stay toasty
But there's also a Star Wars Christmas special coming
And I'm really excited to watch it.
Have you watched it?
I have it in my inbox.
I have to watch it tonight.
And Donald, I haven't seen the original Star Wars Christmas special.
So I'm going to watch that too.
I mean, there's like a six-minute conversation in Wookiee with no subtitles.
It's like you're literally sitting there like
What?
I've only heard all of the
Fans talk about it for years
I've heard about 6 Minute Wookiee Conversation
I've heard it kind of drags
It mostly takes place among the Wookiees
Isn't that right?
Well that's what Celebration originally started as
From what I remember And I could be wrong so please don't quote me But originally isn't that right well that's what celebration originally started as it was like a from what i
remember and i could be wrong so please don't quote me but originally like celebration was a
wookiee holiday and then it turned into the new year type holiday or the christmas type holiday
that comes on every cycle in the star wars universe got it. Yeah. I'm excited to check it out.
I've heard about it for so long, I'm finally
going to take the deep dive as I
solidify my Star Wars fandom by
watching literally everything they've put out,
including what most people
think is the worst thing they've ever put out.
If you can find it, there's
other shows that are, like
the Ewok Adventures,
the Battle for Endor. These are all canon films,
too. These are things made by George Lucas. There's one thing that's not canon anymore,
but there was a cartoon that came on Saturday morning back in the days, if you can find it,
where it was like about the Ewoks also. And also it was about R2 and 3po and all the masters that they had before somewhere in between
where you know they were owned by other people before leia and her family owned and anakin but
then that's all debunked now because anakin built 3po but like there's this whole story of the two of them being transferred from one owner to another, sometimes by being stolen or their adventure with this one ends. And so they join forces with this one. And it has nothing to do with the Rebel Alliance. It has nothing to do with anything. It just has everything to do with the rebel alliance it has nothing to do with anything it just has everything to do with the galaxy i don't know if it was before the empire or if the empire is there but
it's before they're owned by the skywalker family and i don't know if this exists anymore but you
can find it somewhere i'm sure okay someone has it i'm sure our fans are gonna send us all of the
links uh which we appreciate obviously uh this is why I'm so excited to do this show,
Donald. I had no idea that
existed, and now I feel like maybe all
of those Clone Wars episodes based off
of the little mini droid missions
and things were maybe inspired by this early
animation work. I'm for sure
going to have to go check it out. You've been watching
The Mandalorian, though, right?
Every single Friday
morning. It's 9 a.m.
Oh, 9 a.m.
I wake up at like midnight.
I'll literally go.
I'll put the kids down at 7
and wake up at 11.59
just to watch it turn over.
I like the difficulty that I have
trying to get Disney Plus to reload
so that the Mandalorian
episode, the newest
episode, refreshes.
I like that. You're such a torment.
When I wake up, it's already there. I just click
go and we're ready. We're in it.
Because I need to watch it right away.
And then I watch it three or four times.
Yeah.
I don't have time to watch it twice in a row,
but I do watch it again when my roommate Andrew comes home.
We pop it a second time for him.
And it's great because my parents surprised us with a new 70-inch Samsung TV.
They bought us a new sound bar.
So we have just been having the greatest time experiencing The Mandalorian
the way it should be viewed, you know, on a giant screen with a lot of full sound.
It's been – this season has really impressed I liked season one a lot there's so much to love I mean of course from the child you know to like the Pedro Pascal reveal Taika Waititi's appearance and
then to have so many like directors of color and women come in and like put their stamp on Star
Wars all of that was a lot of fun but for me as like a Star Wars fan I was like oh this doesn't really feel connected to the
larger universe and I kind of lost in time and I just oh I don't know and then of course Disney
was just like well here you go here's all the things that you wanted to be better they figured
out how to use um if you don't know you should absolutely be watching the behind the scenes
stuff on The Mandalorian they did a basically a season one recap with all the creatives
they shoot the mandalorian in this like digital room i think we've talked about it on fake doctors
before but it's a giant circle room they can put up any background bam they're in a location
to me the shooting of that in season one was rough like it lacked depth which i think you
really need to sell these big outdoor spaces.
They figured that problem out.
We have much more textured settings, which makes the whole thing feel more alive to me.
And then on top of that, they gave us not just excellent performances, not just great
stories in the genre of Western and samurai, but they also linked us to the larger universe i know where we are in time
now i understand my main villains a little bit better the child morgu am i saying his name right
what'd you call him is it's morgu right no grogu grogu grogu i said it with that hard m
so grogu is like like he's become a full person. He's not just a child anymore.
We have a backstory.
It's been an amazing season.
How are you enjoying season two?
Well, I got to be honest with you.
I think it's really good.
I think it's way better than season one.
I think this is, but I think this is how Filoni is.
But I think this is how Filoni is.
If you watch all of the things that he's done.
So let's start with Clone Wars.
When Clone Wars first came out, it came out as a WB movie.
And it introduced this character, Ahsoka.
And everybody was like, oh my God, this is so annoying.
The first season of Clone Wars, it's cool.
It's good and everything, but it, you know,
it doesn't really catch pace until the third season.
And then it's off and running.
Dave Filoni learns his lessons and- Similarly, yes.
Develops, understands what the fans want
and brings it back to us in a way that has value.
All of a sudden, Clone Wars is fire. Then comes Rebels. Rebels comes out and now people are like, Clone Wars is for teenagers and adults, man.
This Rebels thing is for kids. Why would I ever want to watch a show for kids?
why would I ever want to watch a show for kids
but if you stick with it
by the end of the season
all of a sudden you're like oh my god
this is the best Star Wars
I've seen in a long time
yes absolutely
by season 3 after they've introduced Ahsoka again
the person that everybody hated
when she first was introduced
in the Warner Brothers movie
by the time they introduce her now,
everyone's so crazy and they're out of their minds, right?
Yes.
So I feel with The Mandalorian,
the first season,
it's just touching, okay, what can we do?
What is, what's possible?
You know, for storytelling also, it's like, all right, well, what will the audience accept?
What won't they accept?
And we've never had Star Wars in this medium before, in a 30 minute to an hour, depending on the episode, like in your face, once a week for six or eight weeks experience.
You know, are there giant movies or they're animated shows?
But this is what's great about this show.
They're developing these characters before our eyes.
And we're being blinded by what's in the show.
You know what I mean?
The cameos and all of these things.
But if you're really watching the show, this Din Djarin character is really dynamic.
Yeah.
How it started and how it's going right now
he's a completely different man already we're only 16 chapters in 17 chapters yes you know
justin pointed out the other day that like if you think about the moments that feloni like hones in
on in star wars specifically the battle of the fates and this idea that without a fully grown adult father
anakin was always going to go the way yoda initially thought he was going to go
right he didn't have that that strong guided teacher well he had a big brother he had a
brother yeah yeah but he needed a father right he needed somebody who was a master already which
qui-gon was yeah and that's why luke's guidance later like becomes
so important to like his padawans and him like struggling to figure out like first you know he's
got old obi-wan a person who's learned their lessons but then he also has what um anakin was
never really allowed to have which is a trusted circle of friends right anakin's too busy literally
fighting a war battling around around. It's so
interesting to me that Dave Filoni picks up on all of those ideas and flips it on his head and
gives us a guy figuring out how do I be a dad, right? It's always sons looking for their fathers.
But instead, this is a guy who's like, I guess I'll just step up into the position of being a dad.
And it's really sort of thrilling and exciting to see that a parental figure can be not just like an action star, but also like we can explore those faults in an action space, in an action setting.
I feel like so oftentimes when we get our heroes, you know, if we think about our classic 80s specifically, heroes are John McLean's and whatnot.
80s specifically heroes are john mclean's and whatnot uh they're like super macho guys who sort of are only after like a romantic love interest and i like that the greatest love
in this is between a father and a son and then it's a father trying to figure out how do i be
a good dad it's just uh it gives me all the warm fuzzies of like a classic disney tale but it's
star wars and i just think like i'm excited that the company is figuring out how are we gonna do star wars and it's good and they're able to do it by giving
the fans what they want you know what i mean ahsoka boba fett you know what i mean i'm gonna
say one thing i you know the first bill burr episode bill that's how you say his name bill
yeah bill burr yeah the first bill burr episode i was like damn they missed it they missed it you know what i mean cringy you know and i wasn't like don't put
him back on the show but i was like well maybe let's not you know focus just on that character
i'm glad it was just like a side mission i'll just say this so when i heard he was coming back
i was like I hope he
what's going to happen because I remember
the last time how did they
do this now
and it wasn't that he was bad on the show
it wasn't that it just didn't feel like
it fit the tone of the
Mandalorian but now
that the Mandalorian the world has
opened up so big
a stormtrooper tale is very interesting, especially after the war.
Yeah.
And it's also a redemption tale also.
And to have Bill Burr come back and redeem not only the first performance
where it seemed like he didn't really know Star Wars
or that he hated Star Wars or whatever it was,
but he came back and he crushed this man.
Like, he freaking really did his thing in this episode oh man the scenery sitting at the table it's my
favorite commanding officer it's your favorite episode wow that's that it's it's not mine but
it's a really good episode out of all of them it's my favorite episode explain yourself why is this
your favorite episode it's the it felt the most like a tv episode out of all of them. It's my favorite episode. Explain yourself. Why is this your favorite episode? It felt the most like a TV episode out of all of them.
It wasn't, look who's on the show this week.
It wasn't, look at what we're doing this week.
Look at all the Easter eggs we have in the show.
Look at what's going on.
This felt the most like a straight up television show.
It wasn't just, look at all of the flip.
The thing about The Mandalorian that's also great is that they have a lot of flair going on in that show there's a lot of flair you know what i mean
it's all fan service this year but that's why this was my favorite episode so far because it didn't
there was no fan service in it that and it was beautifully acted by bill burr and pedro pascal
uh taking off his helmet was probably i felt uncomfortable for him and him not being able
to make eye contact with people because he was so used to having the mask on and having
to oh he just played everything so well and Bill Burr with his PTSD's just so well it was
amazing episode my favorite so far Rick did a great job directing it. Rick,
he is incredible. And I think, because
he directed Bill Burr's last episode as well,
and what I really appreciate is them being like,
no, we have found a
stunning cast and crew.
It's our tone that we're figuring it out.
You know what I mean? And I think
Filoni, and to Jon Favreau's
credit too, this is where they
truly excel, is bringing people together
that can make great things.
Well, they figured out that character's tone.
If he's a part of the
Rangers of the Republic, this
new show that's coming out, if him
and Cara Dune and
Fennec Shann and
Boba Fett are all part of
the Rangers of the Republic,
that's pretty cool too.
I'd like to be a part of it.
I'm just going to put it out there.
I see y'all got a bunch of stuff coming out.
I didn't hear my name put with any of it, the Obi-Wan.
Listen, Donald's right here having already played a character,
ready to go.
Look, man, I'm getting in shape.
I'm working out.
I'm doing my thing.
I know how to hold a blaster.
I'm nice with a blaster like Han Solo.
I've said it in the rhymes.
I've said it out there.
I put it in the streets.
They know about it.
Listen, if they have the beloved dad from Kim's Convenience in there being a cop and flying ships and, like, saving our crew from ice spiders, I don't see why there's not room for Donald Faison here to be saving the day and stuff.
It's what can happy, Disney? I would, listen.
I would sacrifice
a lamb or a goat if necessary.
I'm going to put it out there.
I would do it.
I would do it myself.
I would, listen, whatever is necessary.
If I need to burn my collection of Star Wars comics in order to be a part of the Star Wars universe again, I will do it.
If I need to trade in all of my Star Wars Black Series action figures, I will do it. If I need to never talk about Star Wars ever again,
Joelle, I'm sorry.
We're about to sign contracts.
Let's not make that promise.
I will burn your comics in effigy with you.
I will do it, Joelle.
No, I will do it.
I will do it.
I will do it.
I'm sorry, Joelle.
I will do it.
I'll bring you with me, though. I'll bring you with me. I'll bring you with me.
You know, it'll be worth it to come on set. I'm about that life. You know, I'll just powder noses or I don't know, move a spotlight, whatever we got to do.
I will bring you with me if they are willing to do it. Listen, I'm working on my skills. I will start working with acting coaches.
I will freaking disguise myself, but still look like myself. I still got to
look like myself, though. That's the thing.
You can't just put me in a droid outfit
and be like, there, you get it, there.
All right, just come in and do voiceover.
No more people of color as aliens
or robots. We want to be people
in Star Wars. That's right.
I want to be a black man other than Lando Calrissian,
Apollo Creed,
and freaking
Sam Jackson, the baddest
MF-er in the galaxy.
I want to be one of the other ones.
One of the other black people too.
Because you know the galaxy is populated with them
and I want to be one of them. So dear
Star Wars people, Dave,
John, Kathy,
George,
Disney, Iger,
Fie.
Who else?
Pixar.
I'm going to create a list so you can just CC
and just do one real-time email.
To whom it may concern.
I'm not begging.
But I'm begging.
I'm pleading. No, I'm not telling.
Shoot, I'm not going to threaten them
no way
I want to be in the movie
I'm asking
with all that is in me
and all that I could possibly
be
I promise you check the track
record I can help carry a show
I did it for nine years
it was on Disney too track record I could help carry a show. I did it for nine years.
It was on Disney too.
I've been in hit movies for Disney as well.
Scrubs is a Disney show, yes.
If you do decide to
go with me, I
promise I will
make it the best relationship
ever in the history
of Star Wars Universe so he's not gonna
mess it up like he's going to be there on time lines memorized in the gym 5 a.m like he's ready
that's right i believe it i will look like what you need me to look like i will act the way you
need me to act i know all the language i know the binary. I know the binary codes. I know the difference between the battle of Tanab, which is the correct way to say it, and Tanab.
I know the difference.
I'm just going to put it out there.
Lando said it.
I'm picturing you as like Space Daddy.
I know what Alderaan is and Alderaan.
I know the difference between Alderaan and Alderaan.
I see the first comments on your Instagram.
And I feel like, you know, it's very, like, daddy-centered.
And I feel like if we made you, like, I like a farmer with, like, some kids.
But then the Empire comes.
Like, take all your plants.
And I don't know.
We could do Game of Thrones level tragic where they, like, starve to death.
And you're the last one to survive.
And you're like, it's just me.
And I'm just going to face the Empire
just by myself, lone gunman.
Or I could just be
in a crew.
You know what I mean? Let's aim high, Donald.
You have skills and knowledge
and energy to bring to this.
But I'm willing to just be like
the dude
that punches the buttons on the ship
and says, Captain. I am unwilling to settle for that
I don't want you to have a famous person cameo
be a whole character
as long as I get to shoot blasters and everything like that
at the bad guys
or the good guys
you know what I mean
please let Donald be more than just pushing things
I mean if that's all you have to offer
obviously we're going to take it but like
there's so much more you could be doing i just want to be in star wars more than
anything i've ever wanted to be in my life if i was in star wars as a live action character
i feel like first of all i feel like everyone would accept it and i don't think everyone would
be like oh shit turks and fucking star wars i don't think so either. That was my fear,
was that I was too famous for Star Wars,
but I don't think anybody is too famous
for Star Wars anymore.
No.
You know what I mean?
At one point, I do agree that
if you had a niche
and you were in Star Wars,
it was distracting.
Now, nothing is distracting
because it's so accessible.
So that being said,
I'll sing songs for your star Wars.
I'll sing them songs for you.
Yeah.
I could be a freaking,
I could be a freaking musician in star Wars who does like gigs at different spots.
Be a cantina
lounge singer for sure.
I could be the guy that's like here
and there and every now and then gets caught up
in missions and that's...
Listen, let's redo Canto Bight and
make it epic, right?
Let's have you be in the casino singing down.
But I not only do like
Canto Bight, but I also do like places where scum and villainy be like,
I'm also in a,
I go where the gig pays,
you know,
I go,
I'm all about the credits,
but I also have a blaster at my side and a pretty fast ship,
but we're always about the music.
We're always about the music.
Yes.
I'm a sin.
It's a tea.
This is starting to sound like
Guardians of the Galaxy
times Star Wars.
And I don't need it.
Listen, he's out here composing
arias for you guys.
He's ready.
That's from Return of the Jedi,
the original song.
I'm doing the words
wrong, but it don't matter.
Is there a song that's funky
in Return of the Jedi?
The original song from Return of the Jedi
when you cut to the band
playing in Jabba's palace
is fire.
And it was like, the original song is like,
So I'm shaping up and working out.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da intro welcome you guys some of you if you listen to fake dr drill friends have been waiting for forever for this star wars show we've been waiting forever obviously both super busy but it's
something we've been wanting to do for such a long time and now we're here and we're doing it
it's always great to you know sit down and discuss star wars with anyone and i couldn't imagine doing it with anyone other
than you my amiga from another madre does that even make sense my friend from another mother
my friend from another makes perfect sense right my amiga from another madre. I'm excited to talk, you know, the Battle of Galaxies.
Yeah, I mean, I think your fans know you voice actual characters in Ack.
You are canonically a part of the Star Wars universe.
But you've also been a fan for, like, ever.
Yeah, since I was three years old i've been a friend
as a matter of fact one of my first memories ever into life period forget about it just being the
star wars universe let's just say into life one of my first memories is walking into a movie theater
and seeing r2d2 scroll across the screen because we were obviously late for the movie you know being on cp time back
in the day we were late for the movie so we walk in with our two we missed the whole opening you
missed the major opening shot i don't even recall seeing the freaking bam bam i don't even recall
seeing that i just recall seeing r2 right before he gets shot by Jawas. That's like one of my first memories ever.
Wow.
It's very interesting that that's it.
And it's not that R2 is one of my least favorite characters,
but it's just that my introduction to it all was actually,
if you really think about it, the Bible of the Star Wars universe.
R2 and 3PO hold all the information.
That is true.
You know, you can say what you want to say
about the Jedi books and everything like that,
but all of the knowledge that we know so far in Star Wars,
other than the Mandalorian,
but you want to talk about Clone Wars,
you want to talk about all of that stuff,
in some way, R2 and 3PO have touched it all
and have all of the knowledge of what was going on in that time
and so my first introduction into it was through the book of knowledge of star wars that is so wild
and amazing that it's like that's your earliest memory i think it explains a lot about the person
you became uh i have been writing about star wars for a long time. I did a recap show of Rebels when it was on.
I have many videos reacting to a lot of this last trilogy's trailers, which, as we know,
Disney and Lucas aced those trailers, every single one of them greater than the last.
So entertaining. My earliest Star Wars memory, it has to be going to. So like I grew up on the
Star Wars movies. they were always playing in
the background my dad's a big fan but it wasn't until like we went and saw it in 99 i was 10
i remember making the long drive into the city so i knew like yes i was i was a babe a youngling
as they say and you weren't even going to see episode four or five or six you're going to see episode uno one yes and there was a kid in it and he was gonna fly things and i knew that like it
was going to be a very emotionally intense experience the minute we came in because
it was all adults who like had such hushed reverence it was the first screening the
day after the midnight screening and And I remember we sat down.
I don't remember much about like opening shots and everything,
but I do remember funnily enough,
when R2-D2 comes on the screen,
the whole audience lost their damn minds.
And it's the minute I become a Star Wars fanatic.
I love fandoms. I love the debates.
I love the illogical leaps we occasionally make
to try to make things work. I love our dedication. I love the illogical leaps we occasionally make to try to make things work.
I love our dedication.
I love the fan fiction.
Fandom is what brought me into Star Wars.
And R2-D2 and the fans' interaction to seeing the first familiar character that pops up in the new trilogy solidified that moment for me.
And ever since, I've been a Star Wars fan.
That's what's up. If you've been following the news, you know that from healthcare access to safe schools,
LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
And it's about time queer and trans youth
get the microphone and tell their stories
in their own words.
I'm Raquel Willis.
Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
a show where LGBTQ plus folks tell their own stories in their own words.
This season, teens will share all about growing up in political battleground states.
I wish I could feel more comfortable in my own body here, but that's just not the case.
And follow along as they discover what queer and trans liberation means to them.
This isn't running away from yourself. It's running into who you want to grow into.
Listen to Queer Chronicles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your most fabulous shows. wisdom, and laughter. In every episode, we gather a seasoned elder. But even with a child,
there's no such thing
as the wrong thing
if you love them.
Myself, as the middle generation,
I don't feel like I have to get married
at this big age in life,
but it is a desire I have
and something that I've navigated
in dating.
And a vibrant young soul
for engaging
intergenerational conversations.
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Beauty Translated Season 3 is coming soon with what? A second host? I'm Carmen Laurent,
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Bye.
Bye-bye.
Hi, this is Shannon Doherty,
host of the new podcast,
Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
You may know me from, let's see, 90210, Char of the new podcast, Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. You may know me from,
let's see, 90210, Charmed, Mallrats, Heathers. You probably also know me from my stage four
cancer diagnosis and sharing that journey with so many of you. There's something so authentic
about a podcast. It's me connecting, me talking raw in the moment. That's what my goal is
to give you, to talk about why I feel that cancer to a certain extent is a gift, what my responsibilities
are as a person with cancer, because I think that there's something so much bigger than me.
And to be honest, I'm still trying to find out what that is. And maybe together, we'll find it.
It's going to be a wild ride. So I hope that you all tune in. Listen to Let's Be Clear with
Shannon Doherty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
It's crazy that R2 has that effect on people. And it's only fitting that he's the first familiar character
that you see in The Phantom Menace.
Even though Obi-Wan's in it and everything like that,
it's not Alec Guinness playing Obi-Wan Kenobi.
It's a new actor.
It's Ewan McGregor.
And, you know, in the beginning,
it's not the Obi-Wan Kenobi we know.
R2-D2 and 3PO are, you know,
it's almost like they're the same person.
You say it together.
R2-D2 and C-3PO are so important to this universe that it's only fitting that we start this first episode talking about them.
It's only fitting that our first introduction to Star Wars is through one of them.
And at the end of it all, it's only fitting that r2 is the first person
or the first person i'm talking about it like it's an actual sentient being the first droid that you
see i think it's totally fair that you talk about him as a real person i know you've been to
a lot of star wars premieres and events and things i was at the rogue one premiere and he like no not
the rogue one it was at the episode nine press junket he comes
out and he's rolling around and a bunch of like journalists so these are people who you know are
often catered to they get like you know they're entertainment journalists so they're talking to
the stars they're around everybody nobody cares about like oh my gosh there's like all the actors
from the movie you know R2-D2 rolls in, everyone's like, get out your phones.
We're taking selfies.
Long lines for him.
I feel like Star Wars, particularly since the opening of the Star Wars Disney theme park,
I just feel like there's something authentically human about even the droids.
They've been with us since you were three.
I don't know a world without Star Wars.
Sometimes these characters are real to me. They bleed in the the line of thing especially when we get into like those good
debates about them well the great thing about them is that they're like the teddy bears of this
galaxy you can say wookies you can say ewoks you could say all of that stuff but you didn't want
to snuggle up with chewbacca because he was too scary you know what i mean and so when pictures
would arrived as a youth when you're a kid,
if pictures came and Chewbacca was there,
I've seen it with my own eyes.
My kids hate Chewbacca.
They're not really excited to see him.
You know what I mean?
He's a very handsome Wookiee,
however you want to look at it,
but they're not excited to see him.
They know he's a hero,
but they're not excited to see him.
When Darth Vader walks in,
you want to talk about being scared. That's not the first thing a kid runs to, you know, when they see that's the evil character
in the whole situation. But the droid and the other droid, the Laurel and Hardy, the Abbott and
Costello, the however you want to look at it, the round and the long skin, however it's looked at, however it's looked at in folklore or in mythology, whatever they represent.
When that comes in as a kid, it served a purpose perfectly.
That's why droids are so loved.
You know what I mean?
You talked about wanting to take your cell phone out the minute R2 walked in.
I mean, you talked about wanting to take your cell phone out the minute R2 walked in.
It would have been the same thing with 3PO also, because those are the characters in Star Wars that you feel safe with from the beginning of it all. And what they represent in it also. R2 is the one that helps save the day.
The unsung hero is R2. The unsung hero is 3PO. 3PO stumbles into being a hero accidentally.
hero is 3PO. 3PO stumbles into being a hero
accidentally. He doesn't know how important
he is throughout this whole thing.
He had no idea how important
he is, you know? But they're the
unsung heroes, and they're not gonna hurt
you. It's against 3PO's programming.
You know what I mean?
It's only right that you
run towards these characters.
They're the plushies
of the Star wars universe they're
definitely the little buddies if you look at like you know all of your classic disney stories
there's always like some type of pet or animal friend running alongside your princesses alongside
our princesses and princes we have droids and especially we don't have time to get into it
today but once we start looking at their role specifically in the clone wars more acutely you start to see how the writers in the star wars story group have really looked at
those characters as sort of the minorities of that universe and are often in these servitude
positions often disregarded as not being uh important or essential or simply tools and yet
and yet they are not just the history.
They are also, you know,
helping our fighters as they're flying their planes
fly better.
They're helping us shoot better.
They're secretly getting
the most important vital information
to the war outside of enemy lines.
Like, yeah, droids are everything to me.
I don't think they get enough respect.
And I think we have to
definitely add that to our
potential episodes is put some respect on droids names right put some yeah put some respect on
their names because even bb-8 man like bb-8s when bb they roll bb-8 out now and i guarantee you
you've never seen anybody use a bunch of adults go nuts when not only is it because bb-8 it's like
wow how does that work?
You know what I mean?
How does the ball stay on top of the head and underneath?
And how does it back?
That stuff is amazing in itself.
But there's something so amazing about that droid.
When it rolls out, when, I don't know if BB-8's a boy or a girl,
but when he or she rolls out, it's magical.
Yeah. It's magical. Yeah.
It's magical.
He's so cute.
I want to scratch his belly.
He doesn't have a belly.
I don't even know if he feels that.
Can I scratch your ear?
How do we hug and embrace?
So cute.
Oh, my God.
Can I play with your antenna?
You know what I mean?
It's like, what the?
Oh, man.
So, guys, when we do the shows what our plan
is our goal is to bring you guys like a ton of really cool people from inside the star wars
universe so we're talking character designers novel writers graphic artists people designing
merchandise oh the guys that build the lightsabers directors directors. We're also going to try to bring you guys talent.
So, you know, some of Donald's friends
who have been these lifelong,
like hardcore Star Wars fans.
I'll bring in some of my friends
who are writers for like StarWars.com
or have written some of the novels
and we'll be doing interviews with them.
But we also want to include you guys
because we love the fans.
We love talking to the fans.
I've already told you the fandom is why I got in.
Donald, actual member of the Star Wars canon universe, loves the fans. We love talking to the fans. I've already told you the fandom is why I got in. Donald, actual member of the Star Wars canon universe,
loves the fans, loves talking to you guys.
So we're going to let you guys send us questions.
We'll be interacting with you.
And so for today, since it's just me and Donald here
talking about Star Wars,
we wanted to let you guys get a chance to know us as fans.
So I put together some questions.
Donald and I.
I like your questions. This is something
that could be like every
cast that we do, podcast that
we do, cast. You're not so pretentious.
This could be something like every
cast that we know.
Every podcast that we do.
Okay, top ten straight up.
Here we go. Top ten.
And we've got our editor, Justin
in the wings. He's going to be here helping us, you know, fact check.
You know, I forget a lot of things.
Full disclosure, he's my brother.
He's going to be helping me stay on track.
Keep it in the family.
I'm here to knock her down a peg or two every time.
Oh, boy.
He does.
He's really good at it.
All right.
Let's go.
So our very first question, which I think is vital and of most importance to many fans,
is how would you rank your core nine Star Wars films?
All right, here we go.
You're number one.
My number one.
You go first.
It's Empire Strikes Back.
Empire Strikes Back for me as well.
It can be nothing else.
It's Irving Kirshner.
He killed it.
All of the greatest drama the best of
the romances you get the introduction of the greatest uh the greatest star wars character
ever lando calrissian is introduced in the empire strikes a black man enters with swagger
okay but not only swagger that dude enters and he owns a city.
He does.
And it's a cloud city.
It's a gorgeous city.
It's not a slum.
It's not New York.
It's 70s.
It's bright and shiny and gorgeous sunlight.
He got it on deck.
He even got security.
Dude, your view is ridiculous in cloud city until the Empire comes in and everything goes to crap.
But before that.
360 windows, y'all.
Sunlight in every room.
It's gorgeous.
Also, you know, we're gutting animals and living inside them.
It's got literally everything you could want from a movie.
It's perfect.
The fact that Han Solo, to save Luke Skywalker's life, slices open his dead Tauntaun and stuffs his best friend inside of it.
It's also a great testament of friendship in this movie.
This young rogue who cares about no one but himself
is willing to sacrifice his life multiple times
for his friends.
And I'm not even talking about the hero of the story.
I'm talking about the freaking sidekick, kind of.
Bro, bro, bro.
And we get the best romance line ever.
I love you.
I know.
And then he's gone out like a badass.
Oh, God.
Literally every moment of it is just sheer excitement and joy.
It's so good. The only way
that moment could have been better is if Han
Solo goes, I know, and then out
of nowhere, kicks butt.
Like, just out of nowhere.
And he's like,
and destroys the
Empire right then and there. That's
the only way that Lon could have... Like, he was
toying with Vader.
No, that would have sucked.
He just turns into James Bond,
like, lasers off his cuffs and is ready to go.
Yeah, no, Irvin did what he needed to do. His sacrifice was perfect.
It's wonderful.
It's the best reveal ever in the history of cinema, ever.
Truly, truly.
Just real, real quick.
Empire easily has the best poster of all of the movies.
Oh, hell yeah.
It's easily the best hands down.
I just want to, you know, give a shout out to Roger Castle on that one.
Yeah.
It's also different from all the other ones.
And it's got that classic feel.
It's one of those things where it appeals to you in a way that as soon as you see it, you're like, oh, I'm locked in.
I'm ready to see what this has to tell me.
You know what that poster reminds me of
because of Han Solo dipping Princess Leia in it?
Gone with the Wind.
That's what it reminds me of, yeah.
That's exactly what it's meant to.
It's meant to, actually.
It was inspired by that.
He meant to have Han Solo resemble Clark Gable.
Absolutely.
Right on, right on.
That is amazing.
Wonderful.
Okay, let's move on to our number two,
which I think is where we're going to start to diverge a bit.
So my number two from the core nine is The Last Jedi,
which I know we diverge wholly on.
We have very different opinions about these movies.
But for me, Donald, okay, viewers,
how do I describe Donald?
It's like a freshman teacher.
It's a teacher who loves you and wants better for you and does not understand the choices
that you've made. Like, I want to give you an A, but that is an F. That is an F.
I disagree wholeheartedly. In recent, one of my favorite characters,
Admiral Haldo, she is beauty. She is grace. She would punch you in the face. I love everything
about her from her lilac
hair to the fact that she wears gorgeous gowns with which to direct her navy. She's iconic.
While I'm not a huge fan of many of the romances in here, I think our development into a lot of
the city structures is exactly what the Star Wars universe has needed. It takes absolute cues from
what was being done in the Clone Wars animated series,
which a lot of those elements I felt needed
to be put into the cinematic universe
in order to bring fans into a new world.
And Ryan did that.
He took us onto the city streets.
He showed us what the Jedi mean to the normal people,
to the average stable boy.
He showed us why a lot of these past tropes
were very male-centered films which listen i love many
of the star wars films but there are so many dudes and so few women and showing what female
leadership can do and how it can change the course of a war he showed that leia had jedi powers okay
she was one with the force i don't like leia with a lightsaber i don't think that's how she would use
her force powers but i do like leia being able to access and tap into the force and we get it for the first
time in The Last Jedi. For me, there's so much to enjoy. And the Red Room fight, which again,
I will go toe to toe. I know a lot of people don't like the choreography of that fight scene,
but for me, it's all about cinema and art. It looks like an oil painting. I would watch it a
thousand times over. You can think millions of songs to it.
It would just light up your heart with joy and fire.
I love this movie.
So good.
You're right.
That is where we disagree.
Because I do not agree that it is the number two movie in the Star Wars rankings.
In my opinion, it's a new hope.
wars rankings in my opinion it's a new hope i think because of what it not only uh as far as how it changed how people looked at uh sci-fi and how it could be fantasy and not hokey fantasy it
also changed uh how people looked at blockbusters and what a blockbuster was and how people looked at movie making and what was
possible. And it opened up everybody's eyes to something completely different. Before A New Hope
happened, sci-fi movies were looked at as genre flicks that sucked. And there was a really tiny
audience for people to go see it. I think the biggest one was like 2001. I think that was
the biggest blockbuster as far as sci-fi movies go. And then years later, here comes A New Hope,
Star Wars. Here comes Star Wars. And it broke all box office records, one. Two, it introduced us to
the characters that set this whole thing off that, you know, we all love.
It's probably the only one in this whole thing that I could honestly say the Empire Strikes Back is better than, you know.
Yeah.
It's the only one I can honestly say that about.
All the other ones, if you put a new hope against it, I can show you why a new hope is better than each and every one of those, whether it be nostalgia, whether it be storytelling,
you know, that's a perfect once upon a time, there was a farm boy who dreamt of big adventures,
and he got his wish. And at the end of it all, he saved the day and lived happily ever after that could
have been star wars right there at the end of the movie it could have been that's it and that's all
you need and everybody would have walked away like that was one of the best movies i've ever seen
oh my god listen from technological advancements to breakout performances that defined careers
to aerial battles we hadn't seen in films for like decades
at this point like it brought back a lot of poor cinema values that i think were getting lost
particularly as we look at the studio system that was degrading in the 70s like there's so much to
love every department was on point even though if you watch some of the documentaries about the
making of star wars no one thought it was going to work except george it was just george and his love of this idea he had
and pushing for it to make it work and he did it it was great and that's why it's my number three
choice though we're not too far off i star wars a new hope is it's just an excellent film you can
watch it a million times and still get so much to value and love out of it i mean when you look at
it now also cinematography wise it's beautiful i mean of course he's gone in and he's changed a couple
of things but just angles and the wipes and the dissolves and the you know everything you get lost
in it and it's it's it's the way he captured you know the coming of age story in a galaxy far, far away is incredible.
And that has to be that has to be commended.
And I have to give it my number two.
You give it your number three.
My number three, however, is Return of the Jedi.
Return of the Jedi is.
Wow.
That was closure for me when I was a kid.
Yes.
That was it.
That was all I needed.
You know, I knew Luke Skywalker did it.
He redeemed his father.
He helped redeem his father.
Not only did he conquer Darth Vader,
but he conquered Darth Vader's master, you know?
And the one thing I loved about it more than anything was the space battle
you got a taste of it in the empire strikes back when the millennium falcon is going through the
asteroid field and everything like that but now we're watching like when the rebel alliance jumps
into hyperspace for the first time in front of everybody and you just see boom boom boom boom
as a kid that was the dopest thing i had ever seen in my life right and then when they cut
not only that the introduction into it all like you knew that okay we're about to get into
something completely different. When the music changes, and you see the Millennium Falcon
with the red, with the A-wings and the B-wings and the X-wings, and they're dipping through
all of the capital ships of the Rebel Alliance, you know, Home 1, and they're passing the Corvettes
and everything. And they're about to jump, Admiral, we're in one, and they're passing the Corvettes and everything.
And they're about to jump Admiral when we're in position
and they're about to jump into hyperspace.
That right there alone, better than,
like if you look back at,
if you look back at all of the stuff, like everything,
it's a great way to look at how,
like how far industrial light and magic had come also.
Yeah.
In the first one, you know, in the first movie, everything's really slow.
In the second movie, it's just so fast paced.
They tell so much story in such little time.
It's so fast paced.
In Return of the Jedi, now they've gotten all of this knowledge and they've thrown it up there and they're just sitting back and watching it just unfold on its own.
By the time they get to Return of the Jedi,
the special effects are telling the story beautifully.
You know what I mean?
It's helping move the story along perfectly.
And now you're not looking for all of the things
that don't make sense.
You're caught up.
It's like, I always say this about time travel movies.
You know what I mean?
Time travel movies suck if I have to think about theory.
If I have to think about theory, you messed up the time travel movie for me.
I don't want to think about any of that stuff.
I want to get caught up.
I'm not a mathematician.
Right.
I want to get caught up in the adventure of it all.
You know what I mean?
I want to be in the fantasy of it all because really that's what it is.
And by the time they got to Return of the Jedi, which is why it's my third favorite.
Okay.
It's like sailing.
You just ride in the wind and it's taking you there.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
That's TV where I go sailing.
I love it.
Oh, man.
So Return of the Jedi is my number four.
What I really like about Return of the Jedi is for me, again, going back to loving fandoms as a whole,
Return of the Jedi establishes what a trilogy looks like.
Like it's how all modern trilogies
must go back to Return of the Jedi
and look at that arc.
What does that hero's final journey look like?
It is an ending piece
for one of the greatest trilogies of all time, right?
We also get one of the most iconic costumes in star wars universe it's the leia slave costume feel
how you do about it it's iconic it still slays at all of the cons it's amazing and beautiful and
like it's awesome it really showed you the entirety of princess leia too though you know what i mean not only a great thinker not only was
she a great leader not only was she a great mind and motivator of men and women but she could also
freaking seduce the most vile gangsters in the galaxy. Not only was she
a tactical genius
on the battlefield,
she was a tactical
genius of
the male species
as it is. If you think about
the core three, Luke plays
like the knight, right? He's a hero
who's honorable. He's pure
good, chaotic good. Then you's a hero who's honorable. Right, he's pure good.
Chaotic good.
Then you have Han,
who's the rogue, like rapscallion,
who's out here shooting people and he's not sure what side he's gonna land on.
He's the thief.
Leia is a spy and it's awesome.
And she uses literally her chains of oppression
to suffocate her oppressor.
Ah, it's so good.
And then later on Endor,
she's got the gun
and she's running around in the woods, like, taking people out.
Like, it is stunning to watch Leia's, like, arc and development.
And the fact that she gets to be a real authentic person.
And again, if we look at a lot of early sci-fi, women are often strictly just the sex objects.
Leia had a full-rounded, whole personality.
And it's what made a lot of women endeared to the Star Wars legacy.
This movie also has the redemption of Lando, who comes back and decides,
like, on second thought, I'll actually be a good person
and save my friends and help out.
You know, Lando redeemed himself, I think, when he rescued Chewbacca
and Princess Leia from Cloud City.
I have this argument all the time, and I think Billy Dee Williams
would agree with this.
What was he supposed to do in that situation? You know what I mean? When you really think about it,
this is totally jumping off topic, but in that situation, what was he supposed to do?
Was he, how was he?
Give a high sign. Don't get on the platform.
And then get force choked and then get killed right then and there.
It's true here's the thing
Han Solo lands
Lando has been instructed
get him inside we're gonna catch his butt
we got him
he's like alright
fine
he's already seen
the superstar destroyer
cause that's what Vader's rolling around in in this movie at this point that's true that's true he's already seen the Superstar Destroyer.
Because that's what Vader's rolling around in in his movie at this point.
That's true, that's true, that's true.
He's seen the fleet of Star Destroyers that accompany the Superstar Destroyer.
He knows about the Death Star.
He knows what the Death Star was.
Not only that, he knows Boba Fett.
He's met Boba Fett before.
He knows Han Solo and Boba Fett got beef from back in the day.
He's caught off guard.
Imagine hanging out and out of nowhere, here comes Boba Fett and here comes Darth Vader.
Two of the baddest villains ever.
Ever.
What's he supposed to do?
Say to Han Solo, yo, get out of here, Vader and Boba Fett are here, and they're going to kill you
as soon as you walk into that door.
As soon as the falcon lifts off out of nowhere,
he's choked out.
And then he is bombarded with green lasers from the star destroyers and is
destroyed very much like jedi yeah without one laser it's just a bombardment so what was he
supposed to do so the redemption for me was when he was like i'm gonna try and save han solo not
only am i gonna do that i'm gonna risk my life so yeah and
it starts in the empire strikes back but you're absolutely right by the time return of the jedi
comes at the end of that whole java sequence lando calrissian not only has redeemed himself by saving
his pal from back in the day but he is now a general look at him he's a general in the rebel
alliance because of it and then goes on to lead the rebels
against uh the empire in the battle of endor and it's amazing and it's one of the best battles
in the series not my favorite but one of the best there's a better space battle in the series than
that space battle i don't even know if it's a space battle really it's more of a comedy sequence
but we'll get into that because that's yeah that's not my next one but we'll get into that so what's your okay okay so that was my number four was return of the jedi
which years my number four is the force awakens believe it or not oh i like how we just went
behind that's my number five you know i think the force awakens was the best reintroduction into Star Wars. So what was it, 30 years later?
Mm-hmm.
And there were a lot of people who hadn't seen the Clone Wars,
who hadn't watched the Clone Wars.
There were a lot of people
who hadn't watched the trilogies,
whether it be the prequels
or the originals.
Sure.
It needed an introduction,
and it needed to be something new and we needed to follow a different type of character and uh but it still needed to feel
like star wars and we needed to still be reminded of star wars from the past you know you can't
remake star trek and not have the Enterprise in it,
no matter what it is.
You know what I mean?
It has to be some, the Starfleet has
to be introduced in some way.
So in some way, these heroes of the past
from the original trilogy needed to be reintroduced.
If not, they needed to not be there.
And they chose to put them in the movie.
The only way that works is if they're long gone,
like they're dead and gone and they chose to put them in the movie the only way that works is if they're long gone like they're dead and gone and they're fossils and these people you know it's like the egyptians
that's the only way it works if you don't have the original trilogy characters in the force
awakens that's to take place so far in the future that none of this matters anymore right yeah or
you touch into the nostalgia what we all grew up on.
And so The Force Awakens is that for me.
And it rekindles a storyline that everybody wonders about.
And that's what happened after Happily Ever After.
And in some places it misses.
I think this is where I think a lot of the flaws in Star Wars start to appear, in my opinion.
From this point on, I'll have a bunch of, not negative things to say, but things where I'm like, hmm, I don't understand why.
How we got to this place.
Yeah.
To your point, I agree that we needed new things in the series.
And to me, not enough new.
To me, it feels like a very safe movie.
Which, to be fair, I don't know what else Disney was supposed to do. To go back to your Land movie which to be fair i don't know what else
disney was supposed to do to go back to your land i don't know what else they were supposed to do
it's a huge franchise obviously as you and i sit here talking and debating our opinion fans are
fervent and and have very strong feelings about it it was their first foyer into this universe
it's a scary space to be i don't envy them that position at all but to me it was just
it felt too much like all the things I had seen happen before and that bothered me a little bit
but I did like a lot of the chemistry between some of the new characters I like that they had the
straight up balls to kill Han Solo that took guts okay I never ever thought we would lose Han Solo
that way in a movie and yet it speaks so true to who
that character is someone who isn't sure he cares but it's at the right moment always willing to
sacrifice that felt honest it's so much of I'm not sure I like that but this worked really well
it's a 50-50 split for me it tears me straight down the middle I like Rafe and Poe together. I liked Kylo and his crazy anger.
I liked the saber fight in the forest.
I love Maz Kanata and just this idea of someone who is not at all like Yoda.
She's out here running a cantina.
She's not trying to raise no babies.
She's just like, here, sword, go, do your best.
There's like something about all of that energy that was great.
But then, you know, Leia walks past Chewie and I'm confused again.
There's a bunch of moments.
There's a bunch of things that do not make sense.
Right.
Well, Leia walking past Chewie at the end of the movie does not make sense.
No, not even a little bit.
Now, granted, she's seen him already before, but Han Solo just died.
Just.
Now, granted, she's seen him already before, but Han Solo just died.
Just.
Now, all of this could have made sense if later on stories connected. And these are reasons why I have problems with your number two movie being The Last Jedi.
Sure.
Anyway, let's move on.
I digress.
So your fifth is The the force awakens my fifth
is revenge of the sith oh another divergence okay why revenge of the sith i feel like that's when
george lucas finally figured out okay i have all of this capability now. And with this capability comes great responsibility.
How can I make this the most epic of,
because I'm not going to do this again.
I'm never going to do this again.
He was very clear about that.
But when this is done,
I want everybody to be like, wow,
visually it's one of the best things I've ever seen.
I am satisfied on why
darth vader became a sith lord yes it seemed like nonsense in the beginning what is this journey
that we're going on how is this i know how the journey ends but how are we going to get to this
ending with everything that he's set forward you You know what I mean? Is it going to be jealousy?
Because, you know, is there a twist coming? Is Luke Skywalker not really Anakin Skywalker's kid?
Is Luke Skywalker really Obi? Like all of these things are coming into play. You know what I mean?
Like by the time you get to Revenge of the Sith, you're like, OK, we now see how powerful Anakin is.
If you've been following the news, you know that from health care access to safe schools, LGBTQ plus rights are under attack.
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trans youth get the microphone and tell their stories in their own words.
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Join me on my new podcast, Queer Chronicles,
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Welcome to Across Generations,
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Tiffany Cross.
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Myself, as the middle generation.
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We see how powerful Obi-Wan Kenobi is as well.
And Anakin's just a little bit more powerful than that.
Anakin's so powerful that he defeats the ultimate Sith Lord, Nduku.
You know what I mean?
When you look at Anakin at this point, in your mind,
if you go and watch this movie as a Star Wars fan and you know the lore,
this is what the emperor's like. If I get this kid, it's a wrap for everybody. I don't care if
he wears a mask. I don't care if they see his face. I don't care if they look at him and they're like,
he's the most handsome kid on the planet. When they see him, his ability and what he's done in
the Clone Wars, if I have this kid by my side, it's a wrap for everybody.
No one can stop me.
No one can stop me.
I can even be like,
yo, you know what, Anakin?
You pretend like you've ruled the galaxy.
I'll sit back just as the Emperor.
As he does always.
And I'll let you do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know if as he does always events take place to
where okay now the emperor has to be a little bit more okay now i need to have target i mean but he
does it with dooku he puts people out there and protects himself that's how when we get to episode
nine he's able to just reemerge it's like he's always in the background allowing other people to take charge and
be the focal point for
him. Okay, so that was our...
That was our long list.
Yes. We're probably never
going to talk about it again, so that's why
it took so long.
There's so much to explore, and Star Wars will be looking
more specifically at certain things.
Specific fights, a particular
lightsaber. We're going to go really into the
finite details of specific items
and stories and characters.
We should also tell the fans, feel free
to send in your
core nine on our Instagrams
or on our Twitters.
Flood it. Flood it. Let us know
that you're listening. Let us know your opinions
on your nine, your
favorite nine in your order if any of
you say the rise of skywalker first you don't qualify i'm just joking i'm just joking i'm just
joking we love all fans and all fandoms and if you like something we don't like it's not a judgment
against you you can like whatever part of star wars you like you can like that ship i don't enjoy
that's okay you know we we just value what ship don't you enjoy listen we'll get into it later
i don't i don't know let's start it up let's start what you like you know the ray ben kenobi
situation it doesn't stir my loins the way it stirs other people's. I just, Kylo and Rey and then the Force will, who cares?
Oh, God, I was over it very quickly.
You know how I wanted it to go.
I wanted it to be John Boyega and Rey.
I think everybody did.
And Kylo gets jealous because John Boyega, the defected stormtrooper, gets the prize that he wants, the girl with the powers.
And he can't take it.
And that just fuels and fuels and fuels his rage
because they have such connections.
They're a dyad in the force.
They've got powers together.
But this one freaking stormtrooper keeps getting in the way.
You know, as a queer lady, Poe and Finn
was absolutely endgame.
I knew it would never happen, but it's, you know,
it's what I'm saying. They tried.
They tried in The Rise of Skywalker by giving you
a kiss from two women at the end of the movie,
but Poe and Finn would have been a great,
that would have been awesome. Oh my
God. And the way...
They would have just leaned
into it a little bit yeah just a little bit john boyega and freaking oscar they leaned into it in
the press junkets why could you just lean into it in the movie oh they wanted it they tried they
lobbied those boys did everything they could to make our dreams come true And you know what, that's why we have fanfiction
You can send your favorite Poe
And fanfiction to me
I am Joelle Monique on Instagram
There's an underscore between those things
Or on Twitter, it's just Joelle Monique
It's J-O-E-L-L-E-M-O-N-I-Q-U-E
That'll work
And the folks find you on the socials
Well, I don't want you to send me your favorite poll
and anything.
I don't want your porn.
Don't send me your porn.
Send him all the graphic photos, guys.
Send him paintings.
Oh my God, never let him sleep.
You should have done that. The internet always does the opposite.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Oh, you can find me at Donald underscore Azon on Instagram and on Twitter.
Donald underscore Faison.
Just put it out there.
Perfect.
Okay, let's get into some of these questions.
Who is your favorite baddie in the Star Wars universe?
Darth Vader.
Darth Vader is pretty great.
I have an affinity for the Nightsisters.
They are...
Oh, wow.
You're deep cut.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're like the female version of Maul's people.
They are witches who use the Force.
And that's all you really need to know.
Are they the female version of Maul's people?
Or did they enslave Maul's people?
Or Maul's people like they're, because they're the leaders of that planet.
Yeah, yeah.
That group.
And the men are something else.
If I do recall, in the Clone Wars, when we meet Savage, he is a bloodline of Maul.
But is it necessary?
I don't know.
I don't know.
They call him brother, but it's a little bit not clear.
Fans, if you guys want to call in on this,
this is something that I do welcome.
We can have this conversation all day and every day.
Yes, yes, yes.
What is the association between the Nightsisters of Dathomir
and what's Maul's?
He's like a Zavrak, is that right?
A Zavrak, right?
Yeah, Zavrak the Dark Lord.
Right.
So he's definitely different from Dathomir Nightsister.
So fans, if you want to get involved,
it'd be great if we could reach out to the owners of Star Wars,
but they ain't down with this like that yet.
So we got to get them involved.
Not yet, not yet.
We got to get them involved. And the way to get them
involved is to get the fans involved. And so
fans, you know, if you know
anything on this, because I don't feel like
going up on the Wikipedia,
Wookie, Wikipedia.
You can write in, get involved,
be involved. So you said the Nightsisters.
That's your favorite. Yeah, they're great.
So our next question is, favorite lightsaber
duel? Empire Strikes Back. Oh, it's a good one oh man i think my favorite listen grievous fighting obi-wan
is so much fun it's just a fun battle to watch it's not necessarily technically the greatest
it's not necessarily the most important battle that we see but damn it they're flying on lizards leaping down
and they're twirling and then they're on a train and it's just it's a fun-ass battle to watch my
favorite is the darkest battle of them all and that's the empire strikes back i think that's
out of all of them that's the scariest lightsaber fight in the star wars. I can go dark cuts too. And say that the Maul Obi-Wan final battle.
In Rebels.
Is pretty spectacular.
It's fast.
It's fast.
But it's the first.
And maybe the only lightsaber duel we see.
That's done in the style of the samurai.
And that alone makes it pretty dope.
Right on.
But if you haven't seen the Clone Wars.
Or if you haven't seen Rebels.
I'm going to say.
The scariest fight I've ever seen
in my life as a youth was
seeing Vader taunt
Luke Skywalker in
the underbellies of Cloud City.
Yes. Yeah.
It still gets me excited today.
It's like bone chilling.
What was your favorite series outside of
the films? And that can be TV, comic books,
novels, video games.
It's the one that's on now, The Mandalorian.
Such a great show.
Obviously, mine is Clone Wars.
Oh, wow.
You know what?
I like The Clone Wars, too.
I take that.
Jeez.
It's hard.
It's hard.
That's tough.
I like The Mandalorian.
I like The Clone Wars.
I like Rebels.
I like Resistance.
I like them all.
Listen, they all have a little Wars. I liked Rebels. I liked Resistance. I liked them all. Listen,
they all have a little something. They're all special,
but Clone Wars gave us Ahsoka and Ahsoka was
my way into
loving Star Wars on a personal level.
It made it very personal to me when people were like,
we don't like Ahsoka. I was like, I will fight you.
Yeah, you know what? I'm going to say,
I'm going to change mine to the Clone Wars
also because I'm watching the Mandalorian in hopes that Ahsoka shows up.
Yeah. Donald, that's what I like to hear. Oh, my gosh.
But that being said, Mandalorian is great. If you could go to any planet in the Star Wars solar system space, where would you go for vacation?
Vacation? Yeah. They blew it up just for vacation. They blew it up.
Which one? They blew up a lot of stuff.
Well, they blew it up in Rogue One.
Everybody.
It's gorgeous. White sand beaches.
White sand beaches. Palm trees.
Palm trees.
You're luxuriating on vacation. I see.
I would love to be there. It just seems like
it's water as far as the eye can see.
The sea life is probably
delicious. You know what I mean?
It's probably decadent.
You know what I mean? You're probably getting pearls
and all of that stuff.
Swimming with
aquatic mermaids
and stuff like that. You know
they messed up the ecosystem when they
started building all of that stuff.
The Empire don't care.
The Empire don't care. The Empire don't care.
Oh, man.
I am a nerd on vacation.
I want to learn some things.
And I'm also a person who, like, if Disney was like, what Star Wars movie should we make tomorrow?
I'd be like, anything with the dark side.
Please give me a dark side POV. You're living too dangerous.
This is what I love.
I want to go to Mustafar.
You don't want
to survive the vacation. You just want to be like
the last thing
I want to see are the erupting
hills of Mustafar.
Listen, it's like going to France and visiting
the catacombs. You can go underground
and see the Sith Temple.
You can see the spot where Vader was born.
It's a historically
rich space and I just feel
Like it would be really cool to go there
I bet the door gets open like
Maybe two inches before you're like no
No I'm good I'm good
No way
No way
Okay guys
I really do think it would be great But I hear you
Our next question
In a battle royale bracket
Which droid makes it to the end?
So if all the droids from Star Wars are duking it out
Who's superior in fight style?
R2
I'm gonna go K2SO
He's got the height and the reach
On all of them
R2 can fly
K2SO will just project an arm up And slam him to the ground He's got the height and the reach on all of them. R2 can fly.
Can't you have someone just project an arm up and slam him to the ground?
He's like, joke, slam. You saw what happened to the last droid that tried to grab R2.
He got set on fire, turned to bacon.
I didn't know metal could turn to bacon.
I didn't know metal could crisp like bacon.
But apparently, R2 got that sauce.
And when he sprays that sauce on you and sets it on fire, metal turns to bacon.
I'd really like to see an R2 versus Chopper fight.
I feel like that is where my big money is coming in.
And I'm going to be honest.
I'm putting my money on Chopper.
I love R2-D2 down.
But Chopper's a murder bot.
He kills frequently and without remorse. be honest i'm putting my money on chopper i love r2d2 down but chopper's a murder bot he kills
frequently and without remorse and i just feel like he would take everybody down i really do
think it'd be chopper and k2so in the final battle and k2so would win watch ig11 come in and just
self-destruct every time every time right oh man-11 is a pretty dope robot, though.
He is designed to assassinate.
All of the droids that we've named are pretty dope.
I mean, even the one from Solo.
Yeah, yeah.
Was it L3?
L337.
Even she.
Even L3, man.
Like, L3 is the Falcon.
You know what I mean?
That's true.
And it makes so much sense to why this ship is so temperamental. You know what I mean? And the nav. And it makes so much sense to why the ship is so temperamental and why, you know what I mean?
And the nav computer,
all of these things, man.
And she's voiced by the baddest,
Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
So, you know, I get it.
I get it.
It would be a showdown
for the centuries.
Disney, that's an idea
you can have for free.
Bracket up all of the Troids
and let's watch it go down.
If you could choose
a squadron of pilots,
I'm going to say four max,
which pilots from the Star Wars universe would you choose?
Well,
where Gentile's.
Yeah,
of course.
Poe Dameron.
Okay.
I mean,
nobody's,
I'd never heard a light speed skipping in my life until Poe Dameron.
So you know what?
That is absolutely fair.
Han Solo.
Okay.
Anakin Skywalker. Okay.
That's a good list. That's a great list.
I would say Hera, you know, because she survived
all of the battles. I was going to say
Sandula. I would say Hera,
but I don't know, man.
She always has a crew. I don't know, man.
I don't know, man. No, it's always so shady.
I want to throw her in there.
It's so difficult.
I want to throw Lando in there also.
This is so hard. You can't do four.
That's not even a squadron
when you really think about it.
How many are in a squadron?
I don't know. 20?
That's too many, Donald.
We have to have limits.
Let's take Poe out.
Oh, okay.
We'll do Wedge, Anakin, Hera.
Your face right now, it's amazing.
Hey, all, this is like for Death for Donald.
It's really...
Well, I mean, because how do you not say Han Solo
and how do you not say Lando Calrissian
and how do you not say Chewbacca?
Like, the three of them should all be.
And Nine Nub also like those
four flying a piece of junk pretty much yeah yeah more Lando and Nine Nub when they're going
in the belly of a Death Star in a transport not even in a freaking fighter in a transport
yeah uh I don't know, man.
That's a tough one. This is going to take forever.
Okay, all right. I'll give you
my... You're going to question them all. Watch.
Yeah, no, true. I'm going to take Holdo
for sure. Again, she's my main.
She's my bottom, and I love her, and
keeping her close to me.
Admiral Holdo.
Admiral Holdo is the best pilot in the galaxy?
What did she do?
Because she went to light speed
into a Star Destroyer.
It's hard to miss a fleet.
It's hard to miss a fleet.
A, y'all are hilarious.
B, if you, again,
read the books,
okay?
You're alienating a whole bunch of people right now.
I don't care. It's my squadron.
There are a few people that have read
The Princess of Alderaan, whatever the name
of the book is. Which you should absolutely
pick up. It's a masterpiece
of a book, and it forms you on
one of the greatest characters in Star Wars,
and introduces you to one of my favorite characters,
Holdo, who is part of my squadron.
Who is the best pilot in the galaxy
according to Joelle. I didn't say she was the best.
I said she's coming into my squad.
She's my bottom. She's my main, and I love her.
I'm gonna take Poe, for sure,
because he's funny, and I feel like he and
Holdo would have good conversations.
He's a good distractor. I like it a lot.
I'm gonna take Luke.
Luke's good with the Force. He knows what he's doing.
And...
I'm also gonna take Hera.
Yeah, because she's gonna keep all these bitches in line.
You think all of them are better than Anakin?
No, but who do I want in my squad?
I'm not taking Anakin in anything, okay?
He's self-centered.
He's not gonna listen to anybody's orders.
But he's like MJ in the fight.
He's like MJ.
I don't disagree.
If you're gonna look at this in basketball terms terms he's the mj of it all and
lucas kobe sure but i want people who are team players in my squadron i want to win i want to
win i want to win i feel like y'all missed one i feel like y'all missed one. I feel like y'all missed one. Who do we miss? Someone who learned from both
Anakin Skywalker
and Luke and
Ahsoka, R2-D2.
He's got to be one of the best pilots in the galaxy.
Oh, absolutely. He's got to be, if not
the best, he's got to be one of the best.
Well, you know what? Here's the thing that you can always
say about R2. He can get you to the door.
He never gets you in.
You know what I mean? R2 got
Luke to the point to where
he could line up and fire
that shot. But then what happened?
R2 gets blasted and Luke has to
go the rest of the way without his
droid. I think that's why they complement
each other because in Clone Wars, Mace Windu
and Anakin are trapped
under debris when they're getting hunted down
by Boba Fett.
Right, he bounces out of there, yeah.
And I'm just saying, in a pinch,
I'm not saying he's my top,
but I'm saying he's got to be in there
because he can...
There's been a number of times
where Anakin has been unconscious
behind that wheel.
That's true.
Oh, no.
No doubt.
No doubt.
And same thing with Luke.
You know, autopilot to get to Dagobah, all of that stuff.
Yeah.
Also, another moment, R2 gets, this is why R2's so dope.
He'll get you to the door.
This is the most literal sense of it all.
In Return of the Jedi, he gets them to the door of the shield generator.
And what happens?
He gets blasted.
And now it's up to them to figure it out. So like
R2 never really
solves the problem but he gets you there.
Right.
And that's why he's so special.
Guys, so let's see what would be in your squadron.
I really want to know. It's one of those questions
where we could go on literally forever
but we do have a timed amount of time
we can spend together today.
So what ship would you be flying
in your squadron? Does it have to be a
starfighter or can it be any ship? It can be
any ship you desire.
Oh, shoot. Well, the Falcon.
That's a good choice. Some type of YT.
I'm going to fly
the Ghost because I only want to do spy missions.
Right. Some type of Carillion
something.
Yeah, I'm definitely
Going to go the ghost
Because good at getting in and out of places quietly
And I would mostly take quiet spy missions
I'm not a fighter
If you could switch wardrobes with any character
Who would you switch with?
If I could wear their gear
Yeah
Han Solo got the dopest gear
Out of everybody
You want Lando's capes?
Nah, man.
The dude wore a trench coat in the forest.
I'm going with Han Solo.
I didn't think this over because I think Count Dooku, evil as he is, has a pretty sharp wardrobe, right?
Yeah, he was a rich.
He was a count.
He was a count.
He was a count and he would fly everywhere he went.
But then I remember Padme has hella gowns.
And I was like, well, obviously, I'm taking Padme's wardrobe.
Everything she wears is decadent and gorgeous.
She had that fly stuff.
She was like the cover of GQ for the Galaxy.
Absolutely.
Whatever the ladies go to for their fashion in Star Wars, she was the point.
I'll put it this way.
Naboo was the point of...
Yeah.
That was the focal point of fashion, if you ask me.
Yes, yes.
I could be wrong, but you look at the Chancellor,
the Chancellor which flies can be also,
and his Sith garb flies.
They also had the best-looking starshipships too, in my opinion. That N1
that blew Starfighter. Slick.
Ooh, slick.
Oh my, oh.
Her shuttle,
slick, slick.
Absolutely. The chrome, oh my
God. When she glides in, she's
making a statement everywhere she goes.
For your history buffs, she is the Queen
Victoria who made everybody wear
white dresses after she wore one. It's that level. It's that level. It's influential.
Our final question, and I think probably the most important. The question I think Star Wars fans
have been asking themselves from get-go, if you could pick anyone to be your Jedi Master,
who would you choose? This is the easiest one out of all of them.
I want Mace Windu to be my master
because he knew everything.
He's predicted it all.
He told everybody
what was going on.
I sense a freaking...
I sense a plot by the Sith
to freaking
trick the Jedi.
Nobody listen.
Anakin's bad.
I don't trust him.
He even says it.
I don't trust him.
Oh, man.
I want the dude that knew the truth.
I want the guy that knew it all.
And who had the purple lightsaber.
I want the baddest MF-er in the galaxy with a lightsaber to be my master.
I want to sip on a shake after I eat a tasty burger.
I'm sick of all of these MF-ing snakes on the plane.
I just want to be trained by Samuel L. Jackson.
Oh, Lord.
Oh, man.
Because I'm a crackhead.
For Star Wars.
Oh, man.
Listen, it's hard to argue with that choice.
I think if you had asked me, like, 15 years ago, I would have said the same thing.
Because he was the only black, like, Jedi master.
And I was really, I was vibing with that.
And I want a black teacher
and that would have been awesome i would still pick him today but you picked him so to diversify
our list here i'm gonna say i want plo coon plo coon well he's ahsoka's master yeah exactly
not only is he the master he's got the coolest head, face. For me, you saw Boba Fett and he was great, but he was already iconic by the time I come around.
When I was sitting and watching the new trilogy, it was probably, who the hell is that guy?
In the back, he looks so cool.
Who is that?
And then throughout the Clone Wars series, we just see him be really cool and calm and level-headed.
He's the kind of teacher who lays back in the cut and is like, yeah, adjust your footing.
Okay, I see you. You're good.
Maybe try dodging that.
Oh, you got hit in the face. What did we talk about?
Like, he's just not too intense.
I feel like with a lot of the Jedi Masters,
they're, like, just always on you.
Like, I can't learn like that.
It's very difficult for me.
I think Plo Koon would be a great master.
Patient, loving, supportive. Yeah. You nailed it. Like, that actually would be a great master. Patient, loving, supportive.
Yeah.
You nailed it.
Like, that actually would be a great master.
Because I don't know whose master he really was.
I don't know if we ever got into that in the Clone Wars. But he definitely was Ahsoka's master for a stint.
Whether it be a year or whatever, she was definitely rolling with him for a bit and taught
the art of detective work and everything in the underbellies of coruscant you know what i mean
like and he was always an ally for you know what yeah i don't know if i would go plo koon
but if i could be trained by a jedi ahsoka would be a jedi i'd like to be trained
listen because those lightsabers and is out there teaching kids
on their own, yes
I don't gotta just learn the ways of the Jedi
I can learn the ways of the force
you know what I mean?
For going forest benders, I would like to learn from
Bindu, although I imagine that would be a lot of
sleeping and waiting
Not only that, that would be a lot of riddles
where you're like, dude, just say this stuff already
What are we talking about?
What do you mean?
I am the focus of the sky,
but yet I am sleek and
Bindu, just say it, please.
If you went dark side,
who would be your master?
Because mine would be Asajj Ventress, for
sure. Nobody. I would
never want to be trained by a dark side.
Because they kill you or you have to kill them?
Yeah, it's too much torture, man.
You don't come out of that looking the same.
You know what I mean?
Every dark side of that there is.
It does corrupt the spirit.
Look at it.
One got cut in half.
One got burnt to a crisp.
It's not good.
One got electrocuted to a crisp.
It was very painful.
One got a scar on his face so long
that you can't even believe it.
But it looks cool.
And one is the clone of an evil Sith Lord.
And it took so much for the clone to make it in life
that it stretched him and elongated him
and made his face a little weird.
You know what I mean?
It does. Listen, i don't disagree with you
that the sith are corrupted visually it becomes visible to everyone you can see the evil rolling
off them uh and yeah i think the role tool is cool and i love bad guys and asajj ventress is amazing
so if i had the option i would go with asajjloé Koundé, you're also gonna have a tragic background
cause you gotta see him die in Order 66.
If you live.
Yeah, you guys gotta deal with that.
It depends on where you drop me in the universe.
Well, they all died in Order 66.
So it's like,
listen, Mace Windu got thrown out a window.
He may have been told to say he survived
and stuff like that, but he ain't been back yet.
We haven't seen him. Right, you guys chose Ahsoka, though, too.
So you could still be learning some stuff from her.
Right, as of right now, Ahsoka is the right choice, isn't she?
Yes, absolutely.
She survived.
She knew when to get out.
She knew the most.
And Mace Windu did try to have her thrown out of the Jedi.
He was like, yo, I don't trust this girl.
She probably murdered that person.
Oh, man.
No, he didn't. Well, Yoda did
too. They just, they all, they said.
Everybody did, but Mace was really hard on her.
That was Yoda. They all were. They all
were like, they all were very
hard on her. They all
were hard on her, except for Anakin
and Plo Koon. Yeah.
Oh, God. I love Plo Koon.
Okay, that's our show, guys. That
is the pilot for this series.
I'm so excited that we're finally making this happen.
I cannot wait to bring you great conversations
with the people behind the scenes,
people in front of the camera,
and the people who just love Star Wars.
Obviously, I think by now you know,
we just love Star Wars.
Yeah, so listen, if you guys have questions
that you want to ask us and you want us to answer
or if you want us to
reach out to, you know, when we do have our
guests on,
start getting your questions ready now.
We'll let you know who's coming on in advance
so you can get it going and we'll
have great dialogues and
great adventures through this
podcast. So please come and chat.
Get your sip on. When I say get your sip on, get you some Jawa juice. Get please come and chat. Get your sip on.
When I say get your sip on,
get you some Jawa juice.
Get you some blue milk.
Do what you got to do.
Sit down with us in this cantina
and chat it out.
Yes, I'm loving it.
Thanks for joining us, guys.
We'll see you next week.
Bye.
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