Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers - Listener Episode #5: Canoe Flotilla & Blank Airplane Tickets
Episode Date: June 27, 2024Seth and Josh are back with a highly requested listener episode! We hear some really fun stories including one from a kid of an airplane pilot, an incredible tale of Mr. Webb, a funny vacation routine... with taxi drivers, stepping on eyeballs…er cherries, AND we cover a few listener questions! NissanThanks again to Nissan for supporting Family Trips, and for the reminder to chase bigger, better, more exciting adventures. And enjoy the ride along the way. Learn more at nissanusa.com McDonald'sWe Love Mcdonald's and we love saving money it's a match made in heaven. Save money everyday with the McDonald's App.  Must opt into rewards. BabbelHere's a special, (limited time) deal for our listeners. Right now get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription - but only for our listeners - at babbel.com/TRIPS
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Pashi.
Hey, Sufi.
How are you?
I'm great.
We're speaking the day after Father's Day.
Yeah, happy belated Father's Day.
Thank you very much.
I did reach out to you on Father's Day proper.
You did.
I should point out.
And can I say, I like when a non-father wishes me
happy Father's Day.
Oh, yeah.
Because when I get a text from another father,
I have to write back, same to you.
Right.
You know what I mean?
You don't even have to reply to me.
Yeah, exactly.
Or I can say thanks, but I don't, you know,
like for me, ultimately, as a father on my special day,
I just want to receive praise.
I don't want to give it.
Right.
I'll give it to my father, which I did.
Yeah.
But yeah. So how's that as a pet peeve? Is that an irritating one? father, which I did. Yeah. But yeah.
So how's that as a pet peeve?
Is that an irritating one?
No, that's okay.
I could get straight in the pocket.
I also had a lot of travel this weekend.
And so I just filmed an hour long special
and we'll plug it when it's available to watch,
but I'm very excited.
Congratulations. Thank you. I went to Chicago. I filmed it at the Vic watch, but I'm very excited. Congratulations, yeah.
Thank you.
I went to Chicago, I filmed it at the Vic Theater,
which is one of my favorite comedy theaters in the world.
Obviously we got some roots in Chicago,
so a lot of our old friends were at the show.
Yeah, I mean, we used to go to the Vic a lot,
like the Vic used to have Brew and View.
Brew and View, which was, yeah,
like sort of a precursor of the Alamo Drafthouse experience.
And we have a lot of our friends,
and obviously listeners know we share a lot of friends.
And so afterwards, there was a party at a bar,
and I finished my special,
I'm kind of ready to receive my accolades,
and all the buzz.
You know what all the buzz was at the after party?
What's that?
Poshy's wedding.
Oh yeah.
Thunderstolen.
Nobody wants to talk about Mr. Comedy.
Everybody's so excited for Poshy's wedding.
Yeah, I mean, well, I will point out
that twice in the very short,
like we've been talking for under three minutes,
you've talked about how you like getting accolades.
You say, you like it for Father's Day, and you also want it for your show.
So maybe it's comeuppance that...
Yeah, no, you're right. This is a very, as far as like a Greek tragedy goes, this is a very short one.
This is a very, as far as like a Greek tragedy goes, this is a very short one. This is a one actor.
Yeah.
Also, you know, it was late when your show ended.
I know that for a fact,
because I hear you really over ordered on the tuna tacos.
Yeah.
Our dearest friend, Jill Benjamin,
who is my comedy partner, my first comedy partner.
Jill is the party planner extraordinaire.
Yeah.
I mean, she will throw a party together
and she will also send multiple emails
about the details of this party.
Now, you, I think, know this about myself.
My headspace pre the taping was only jokes, right?
Yeah, yeah.
And I didn't wanna make a lot of decisions about the party.
I should say she picked a wonderful place.
It was on the corner from the theater.
We could all just walk right over there.
Everything about the space was great.
The staff was great, but I kind of ignored her ordering.
And yeah, there were like two towers of Ahi tuna tacos.
Like a three tiered tuna Ahi tuna taco tower. And again, it was 1130 on
a Saturday night, the hour where no one is like, I could crush some. Again, in a city
Chicago that has maybe some of the best late night, you know, we're talking pizzas, we're
talking burritos, we're talking hot dogs, we're talking Italian, any of that. And then the thing you're like, if you're in Chicago
and it's almost midnight, you gotta have.
A tower of tuna tacos.
Yeah.
But everybody was sort of standing around the towers
talking about how excited they were for your wedding.
Yeah, here's a little question for you.
Our mother's a French teacher,
so I think you're gonna get this.
Do you know what RSVP stands for?
I know the SVP is S'il vous plait,
and so I think the R must be like responde.
Responde, that's correct.
So you send out an invitation
and then you ask for the courtesy of a response.
Yeah.
We send out our save the dates,
you know, digitally over an email.
Still waiting to hear from you if you're gonna make it.
I didn't get it.
You didn't get it?
I 100% didn't get it.
Oh, okay.
I did not.
I mean, yeah, no way, man.
Okay.
I would have responded.
Okay, all right.
Well, I'll get it out.
I'll get it out later.
I mean, no, I mean, not to turn the tables
because obviously this has been a miscommunication.
I have been sort of sitting here,
like being like, how dare he assume?
I don't know, yeah. I'm just a yes.
Okay, I'll get it to you.
Yeah, you know what they,
you know what ASVP stands for?
What?
ASKAY Sivu Play.
All right.
What is ASK?
Demande?
I think, hmm.
I'm gonna send you a DSVP.
Yeah, I don't think it's Demande.
Hey, I got my-
It sounds like it should be right, but-
I took it out in the end.
I took it out of my act because,
from what it wasn't really playing,
and I don't think,
I had a bit in my hour about how I hate
how my kids eat chocolate croissants.
Because they'll just eat the little chocolate stick
out of it and they won't eat any of the croissants.
And multiple friends of ours who listened to it said,
first of all, it sucks how you pronounce croissant.
Cause I guess they say croissant?
Croissant?
Yeah, croissant.
But would you ever say croissant?
No, I'd probably say croissant.
Yeah, and I mean-
And then if I were in France, I would say croissant.
Croissant.
But I guess, and I hope that everybody
who's listening now is judging us one way or the other.
But I feel as when you have a mom who's a French teacher,
you can't be walking around saying croissant.
Right.
And then I said to one of our friends,
do you think if I changed it to croissant,
it would work better?
And they said no, because in the end,
it's also just douchey that you give your kids chocolate croissants.
So it was like a double, it was doubly a problem. So, so just took it right out.
Yeah. Well, here's, here's another bit of come upance
that I feel like for any, for anyone that's listening and
thinks we're, we're jerks. Here's a story you'll like. I
played golf on Friday with three of my buddies who all
went to Michigan. I went to, we went to Northwestern,
so it's a nice little big 10 group.
We play maybe every four months or so.
And I'm in a cart, passenger seat.
My buddy Dave is driving.
He drives past our friend Andrew's ball,
about like 100 yards past it to look for his ball,
which is like, you should probably stop when you get to your, the first guy's ball. But he yards past it to look for his ball, which is like you should probably stop
when you get to your, the first guy's ball.
But he drives past it.
Then he sees that we've passed my ball as well
and makes a hard turn left sort of into the fairway.
And the guy who was 100 yards back is now hitting.
So I look up, I got Dave sort of to my left, so he's in between me
and this ball, and this ball, the only word to describe this ball is screaming
at us. Dave turns away from it, it glances off of his back, and it hits me
clean in the side. I've never been hit by a golf ball.
And for a guy to hit two of his friends
with a golf ball is amazing.
And it's, yeah, it was shocking.
And I'm just, I'll show you now.
If you're listening, you're not gonna see this, but.
Oh, I mean, if you've ever been wondering
whether or not to go watch us on YouTube,
this might be the time to check it out.
It hit me right in the, like, you know,
the love handle section of my side,
which is the best possible place to get hit.
Best possible place, but it did leave,
I would say it left the mark of 10 golf balls.
Yeah.
And yeah, and hopefully, you know, I don't want to name it
because we're not, obviously this is not sponsored,
but if anybody who works for the underpants company
Josh is wearing wants to throw a little scratch our way.
Can I show some underpants there?
Yeah, you could read the label.
Oh, those are just jockeys.
Don't say it, just jockeys.
But did you scream? No, we were dead silent.
Oh, wow.
Dave slumped over the steering wheel.
I just rolled out of the cart and laid on my back.
We were both holding our backs and we were silent.
I was just taking stock of, I didn't
know how badly I was hurt.
It stung like crazy.
And then we had a second Andrew with us who drove down
and he was like, what happened?
We were like, Andrew just hit both of us.
And then second Andrew could not stop laughing.
Well, of course that, yeah.
Because we were okay, it was incredible.
And the guy that hit us bought lunch, felt terrible.
He felt worse than either of us who got hit by the ball.
Right.
That is, I mean, I guess when you,
when they're writing a golf etiquette book,
it seems like this would be,
if they were showing it the way they show videos
in sort of driver's ed classes,
this would be a video they would show.
Yeah.
As far as like how not to turn.
Yeah.
It's very much like when a plane crashes,
it's like 11 things have gone wrong.
Like there were a lot of things that went wrong there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we paid the price, but we're okay.
Just a little bruised up.
That's great.
Yeah.
You know, when we're in the body of doing our show
and talking to our guests, it's completely stress-free.
But I will say in the lead-up to an episode sometimes, just like any, you know, my show,
you're like, oh wow, you know, we're going to talk to this person, I hope it goes well,
that sort of thing.
But today, these are the easiest ones.
I have no stress about our listener episodes.
Yeah, I like these.
So we just want to thank you because it is so lovely to know that we are going to listen
to stories for the first time that our producer Sam has compiled.
And it's so nice to be able to do the show with you, people we have never met. I'm speaking of Sam, she's gonna join us right now.
Hi.
Uh, I have some exciting news that I don't know if you guys remember or not, but guess
what's in 10 days?
Is it our anniversary?
It's our one year anniversary.
Wow, that is, you know what?
That's such fantastic news because that makes sense.
This was a podcast born of the writer's strike
and it's so nice to be in such a better place now
than I was emotionally then.
And yet to have the wonderful, you know,
silver lining of the strike was that we got to start this.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not bad.
And we're now also officially at 8.3 million downloads,
which is crazy because I feel like we were just
celebrating one million.
So that's amazing.
You've come a long way.
And if you take out Larry and Hillary,
it's like low sevens.
Yes, they do. In fact, they've made up most of our listener questions today.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, I'm just kidding.
Have we talked about the rebuttal episode?
We do have to do the rebuttal episode soon.
Yeah.
This was a request of our father.
Have we talked about it?
But that he wants to officially rebut everything
that we've said about him.
I think in honor of our dad,
we told you something we've already told you.
We would love to have Larry on.
We all love to have Larry.
Everybody loves Larry.
We're gonna have Larry on.
It's actually gonna be just Meyers Guys podcast We all love Larry. Everybody loves Larry. We're gonna have Larry on.
It's actually gonna be the, uh, just Myers Guys podcast from starting now.
Larry's gonna come on every week.
It's not the Myers Brothers, it's the Myers Guys. Okay.
You know, this is a everybody loves Larry story, but Brooks Whelan, he's a very funny comedian,
who opens for me on the road, and he opened for me my last special,
which was five years ago.
And we had breakfast.
My dad came to see the show in Pittsburgh,
said to mom, and we had breakfast the morning after,
and in the most dad way possible, Josh,
you will appreciate.
He was telling me the bits that he thought didn't work.
At breakfast, and Brooks kind of couldn't believe it.
And Brooks at one point goes, oh, I like that bit.
And my dad said, well, you're wrong.
And I got notes for you too.
But Brooks was very disappointed
that dad was not at the show this weekend.
He even despite that, he was like,
ah, I love Larry, where is he?
Yeah.
It's like, he comes out of a world of performance reviews and you know, people want
to get better and they want, yeah, they want some honesty.
It's true, it does come from a corporate world where they're like, wait, what, you don't
want to hear the honest take?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I want Larry's feedback then about the podcast overall, so I can handle it.
Oh my God, Sam, I mean, I feel like if you got him on the phone and Josh and I weren't
here, he would just have a field day.
Hey, I appreciate the tough love.
I can take it.
Okay, we have some really great listener stories.
So I think we should hop into that.
All right, let's do it.
Hi, guys.
I love the podcast.
So we thought I would share this story about a family trip that I took when I was younger.
My father was a pilot. thought I would share this story about a family trip that I took when I was younger.
My father was a pilot.
So our family trips in the 70s and 80s were filled with the glamour of air travel, which
you both probably recall, the time when the predominant sense memory is the smell of jet
fuel and cigarette smoke inside the cabin.
And as people may also know, airline employees got low cost travel.
Back then it was $5 for coach, I think $10 for first class taken directly from my
father's paycheck, which is an amazing system I can highly recommend. And in return, I had
to make the Faustian bargain of flying standby, which meant you could travel on a whim. It
also means you have no idea if you'll get a seat on a particular flight or if you might
need to connect somewhere unanticipated to letting that extra air of uncertainty that
airline travel would otherwise lack. So with that backdrop, when I turned 16, I found myself
with a free weekend, a freshly minted driver's license,
and no parents around.
So I decided to go to Puerto Vallarta.
I took one of the blank tickets my father kept in his desk,
filled out the airport code for the trip, and off I went.
I had a surprisingly easy trip down,
and I got down there and realized once I was there,
I had no place to stay, so I spent an afternoon on the beach,
and I spent the night also on the beach, which as they say in Mexico, was no problemo.
Next day, I boarded a flight home, which required a connection.
As I walked to the terminal, I ran into my older sister.
We both stopped in our tracks, and she said, what are you doing here?
I looked at her and said, what are you doing here?
We were having a, I think what's known as a Mexican standoff.
It was right at that moment
as we stood staring at each other. My father walked by in his pilot uniform. He was on a trip
and he stopped and he looked at us both. Then he just shook his head and said,
don't tell your mother. And then he just kept walking. My sister and I stood there for another
beat. And then we walked off in separate directions to catch our flights without saying another word.
I literally still have no idea where my sister was going,
and she never asked me either.
And my mother never found out,
so it was just a win all around.
Anyway, thanks again for the podcast.
It's lots of fun to listen to.
This is what an amazing family
where people are just grabbing tickets out of a desk drawer
and going,illing it out.
And also, did I hear that right, Posh?
Did he go to Puerto Vallarta for a day
just to sleep on a beach?
I think he maybe was there for a couple days, but-
Okay, gotcha.
Yeah, but the first night was spent on the beach.
Gotcha, okay, good.
Yeah, not super clear, but that's the impression I get. Just what a fabulous confluence of family members
in an airport and what a cool dad.
Yeah.
To just know exactly what's, not exactly what's going on,
but enough of what's going on and to have the trust
in his children to be like, you're gonna get
home.
You don't look like you're an extremist here.
And yeah.
I think you are aware of the fact that I am married to someone who is the kind of parent
that would need to know exactly why their kids were in the airport, exactly where they
were going.
And there is a great value to having that kind of parent.
I do, I mean, again, and once my kids get a little bit older, I do think I could be
the kind of parent who's like, see you at home.
Yeah.
Live your life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so great because also like what they did wasn't, I mean, maybe the father has
a certain, I would imagine, I would hope, like a love of
travel and a love of flying, and maybe that's what brought him to that job and that his
kid sort of took some of that from him.
And maybe he was like, yeah, this is, if I had this kind of access when I was your age,
then I would have done it too.
And maybe there was some, maybe there was more pride.
I also picturing, I'm also picturing like a kick-ass
full pilot's uniform when I see the dad.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you got me back in that era.
It looks a little military and just a, you know,
mad men, but planes.
Yeah.
Oh, that's great.
I think we've told this story, but we had,
who was our American Airlines connection?
It was our cousin?
Yeah.
We had a cousin and when you came and visited me
in Amsterdam when I lived there,
and you went back and forth to the airport
for like four straight days,
because you were doing that standby thing
and you kept not getting on planes.
Yeah.
It is where you're like,
oh my God, $10 for first class, what's the catch?
You're like, here's the catch.
Right, like that dude could have been stuck down
in Puerto Vallarta for eight days.
Yeah, and then by the way, his pilot dad,
you know, the mom would be like, have you seen him?
And he's like, oh brother, yeah.
Yeah, he was in Puerto Vallarta.
Eight days ago, he was with our daughter.
Our daughter?
All right, thank you for sharing that story.
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, I do,
the only thing I'll say about that story,
was it hard for you when he said the part of,
what are you doing here?
And then the sister said, what are you doing here?
Because that is a quote from the SNL sketch, Californians.
Were you like, oh my God, even our listeners are bringing up the Californians?
I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from
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All right. Next story, Sam.
Hi, Josh and Seth.
I love the podcast, Keep Up the Good Work.
My name is Jim and I'm one of six siblings.
We're from the suburbs of Detroit.
We're all fairly close in age and in our 20s, when we moved all over the country, got married
and started having kids, we decided we needed an annual vacation together to keep in touch. So every summer we
plan a long four or five day weekend at a campground or rental cottage in western Michigan.
Part of the reunion is always a all-day canoe trip down the Muskegon River. Now before I tell
you about our most infamous canoe trip, you need to know two details about our family.
First, everyone in my
family agrees that the brownies I bake are the most outstanding fudge brownies
on the planet and they would absolutely disown me if I ever showed up to a
reunion without a big Tupperware container filled with a quadruple batch.
Secondly, my sister Jan, while working as a secretary, fell in love and married her
boss who was about a dozen years older than the rest of us.
Mr. Webb was a successful businessman, much traveled, a real man of the world.
A kinder, gentler, more generous southern gentleman is not to be found.
My siblings and I, all working class stiffs that we are, all loved and respected him and we looked up to him,
literally, because Mr. Webb is about six foot five
and weighs 250 pounds.
He always treated my sister like a princess,
which frankly she is, always dressed to the nines
with perfectly clothed hair, even on canoe trip.
So this one year, we launched our 12 canoes,
my parents in one, the siblings and their
spouses and six others, and the 12 grandkids, ages 3 to 12, divided in a few more, and we
set off down the river.
Since most of us like to splash each other and jump in and out of our canoes, we made
sure the brownies and other snacks were in Webb's canoe, because we knew Jan didn't want to get her hair wet, and Webb, like the chivalrous captain of a sea-going frigate, would keep both his
princess and the brownies safe.
Things went well until we hit a patch of white water.
For some reason, Webb, of all people, was the one who lost control of his canoe and
ran right into a big rock in the middle of the river.
He hit it so hard that my sister Jan was thrown into the water where she splashed about screaming
my hair, my hair. Webb was so stunned by his mistake that like a captain going down with
his ship, he just sat there, bolt upright, until the canoe filled with water and he slowly
went under all the way up to his neck.
Panicking all the grandkids started screaming and crying,
they're going to drown, save Aunt Jan, save Uncle Webb.
But my other sisters and brothers and I noticed that the brownies had spilled out of the canoe
and were racing down the river in their Tupperware container.
So we started shouting, save the brownies,
save the brownies.
And we all took off paddling like mad to retrieve them.
We did save the brownies.
And eventually the rest of us paddled back upstream
and got the grandkids to stop crying
and help the webs empty out their canoe
and get them safely aboard again.
The webs looked like drowned rats for the rest of the trip.
Jan just muttered about her hair and Webb just kept apologizing to his princess for
his bone.
The rest of us snickered a good deal at their expense and drank beer and ate brownies the
rest of the way.
Webb's humiliation was not quite over after his dunking. Because when we got to the end of our trip
and beached our canoes and walked up to our cars
to make the trip back home to our campsite,
Webb reached into his soggy pants, pulled out the key fob,
which was of course waterlogged,
and he couldn't get into his car.
And of course, since he's the older responsible one,
we had all locked our purses and wallets and get into his car. And of course, since he's the older responsible one, we had all locked our purses and wallets and keys
in his car.
So nobody was going anywhere.
Webb just stood there pressing the button
on that key fob over and over again,
as if by some magic that would make it work.
But of course it didn't.
Looking at that poor, exhausted, defeated man
standing there pushing on that fob should
have moved us all to pity.
But instead, my parents, us siblings, and all the grandkids started laughing.
And we laughed so hard that some of us were crying and holding our guts and rolling around
in the dirt.
Once we realized our dire situation though, I mean this was before cell phones, which
probably wouldn't have worked out there in the woods anyways, my sister-in-law Annie
finally came up with a plan to take the key fob and walk down the dirt road until she
found a cottage with someone at home who would let her in and let her use a hairdryer to
dry off the fob.
During the hour she was gone, the rest of us
finished off the beer and the brownies.
We continued to laugh until even Jan and Webb cracked a smile.
Annie returned.
The fob worked again, and we all got back before dark.
That trip was 30 years ago.
Sadly, Webb died young and is no longer with us.
But most of us still gather each summer for a weekend and a canoe trip.
The grandkids are now grown and married, and now there's a slew of great grandkids to add
to our canoeing flotilla.
But each year we retell the story of the infamous trip where the Webb's got a dunking, the key
fob got waterlogged, but the brownies were saved.
Bravo. That was like a Lake Wobegon quality story.
Yeah. Jim spent some time on that.
Jim wrote that.
It was really beautifully done.
Beautifully done, Jim.
And rest in peace, Mr. Webb.
What a character.
Yeah, but what a great way to be remembered
in a lot of ways.
Yes.
I just like to think of this tall southern gentleman,
older than everybody there,
just in his head being like,
these Michiganders think they're better than me.
These blue collar Michiganders.
I was just sitting on a canoe
as it just sort of slowly sinks, is a wonderful image.
I'm glad he, I mean, I did have a fear because Jim was speaking of Mr. Webb in the past tense,
so I had an awareness during the story that he was likely no longer with us and I'm just
relieved that that wasn't the story where he passed away.
That Jim didn't say, and then we got the brownies and when we paddled back, Mr. Webb
had indeed drowned.
Yeah, that's not the kind of story we're after here.
No, no. That was exactly the kind of story we were after.
Yeah. An annual trip is so underrated. It's so wonderful that Jim and his family still do this.
And you know, there's a lot in the world you can go see,
but to have sort of a standard place that you go
is just great.
An annual trip, because also I think, you know, look,
vacations, when you can anticipate
without the stress of something new,
it is one of the great gifts.
To just know that you have that point in the year.
And again, we're lucky enough, we've talked about it.
We've got a couple of those.
We've got one with our buddies.
We've got one with our parents.
And like having those in place is so delightful.
Yeah.
If dad had locked the keys in the car,
or if dad's fob didn't work,
what do you think his solution would be?
I'll tell you what a solution wouldn't have been.
Mom walking an hour to bail him out.
To go find a hairdryer?
Oh my God.
I think she would have walked it.
I think she might have tried to walk an hour to a bar.
What do you think Dad would've done?
I mean, I certainly don't think anyone who knew him
would have laughed real hard.
Well, I think the answer is he'd break the window.
I think he'd break the window.
Yeah, the whole time I was thinking about it,
I certainly don't, there was no Annie in our family
who would have said,
I think all of us would have been break the window.
Yeah. And that's the way I was hoping it was, I mean, I was guessing it was going.
It's great that they didn't take the more destructive approach to it.
But I do think a group of, you know, 12 to 15 people standing around
trying to figure out how to break the window of a car in the woods
would be pretty fun.
Like who's throwing that rock, that big rock at the.
Well, here's my thing though, right?
I don't have confidence that dad could break the window
without making it worse.
You know what I mean?
He'd throw a rock and cut his finger simultaneously.
Or he'd throw a rock and it would hit the door
and put a dent in the door.
So, you know, at some point I might just,
I think I would argue, let's just sit here for eight hours
and wait for the key to dry naturally.
Yeah.
I think, I do think that if dad had done that,
mom would be cool and supportive.
Josh, you just laughed so hard you blew out the zoom.
I couldn't even hear you.
Hey, I do have, it made me think of two things.
One, when Jim was talking about how their family's
is splashing, right?
And I was thinking, you know, Mr. Webb,
the very fact that it was called Mr. Webb
was maybe my favorite detail of the story.
And in Jim's short story collection, when he writes it,
I do believe this story should just be called Mr. Webb.
So, you know, Mr. Webb probably came from a family
where they weren't splashing each other with canoe paddles.
And there is that interesting thing where, you know,
when you marry into a family,
you got to deal with the nonsense they do.
And I'm obviously not saying our family
doesn't bring nonsense to the table,
but my father-in-law and my brother-in-law, Tom and Tulia,
have taught our kids this thing.
And here's what it is.
I'm walking with the boys to school the other day
and Axel says, have you met my sidekick?
And I said, no.
And then he just kicked me in the side.
And I had this real son of a gun. What an insane thing to teach my children.
Especially Axel, who I don't think has a lot of control over how hard he's going to kick you.
Yeah, I know he kicks hard.
Yeah, he's a wild man.
And then the other thing is the special brownies.
What does mom make homemade
that is my favorite thing in the world?
Chex party mix.
Chex party mix.
Our mom makes Chex party mix.
It's like an old school recipe
that I think used to be on the side of the box.
Yeah, heavy with Worcestershire sauce.
Worcestershire sauce and so much butter.
Yeah.
And it is so much better than Czech's mix in a bag.
Not even close.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's baked, it's seasoned.
It's, you get those like those harder sort of like bits
that are stuck together.
Yeah, it's almost like because she,
the way she bakes it in a cookie pan,
it's almost like the outer edge is like crust on a pie.
Yeah.
Anyway, this is by the way,
a story where my brother-in-law who's, you know,
out there teaching my kid sidekick
is the hero of this story.
So mom and dad visited a couple of weeks ago.
And I should note the reason the story, when I eat mom's Chex Mix, So, mom and dad visited a couple weeks ago.
And I should note, the reason is, sorry,
when I eat mom's Chex Mix,
if I eat a serving that I wanna eat,
which is all of it,
everything about me is hard to be around
for like the next 48 hours.
I would just say like,
I'm sort of on a breath and sort of emitted smells level.
It's no, I'm no party to be around.
You pay a price for mom's Chex Mix.
And so because of this, I sort of don't,
like I've said to her, like, yeah, don't even bring it
because I can't stop myself and it's just a bad scene.
So mom leaves and she goes,
Tolia has something for you.
And so then a couple hours later,
Tolia comes over and he hands me three,
not a full Ziploc, like sort of a half Ziploc,
you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, like that you give kids snacks in.
Yeah, three of those packed full of Chex Mix.
And it was like, the only thing I wish is that
he'd had them like taped to his stomach,
like a drug mule trying to get on a plane.
And he handed them to me and Pashi, I was so happy.
Because I've said to her, I can't resist, don't bring it.
But the fact that she just brought it on her own,
I felt no guilt.
And it was, I ate two of them immediately.
Again, and I was like, you know what?
You can crush them.
Yeah, and I'm like, I'm not gonna eat the third one.
And I put it in my computer bag
and I completely forgot about it.
And then a week later, I found it
and it was the greatest feeling.
It was the greatest feeling in the world.
I mean, that's like money under your pillow
from the tooth fairy.
It's just like magic.
Yeah, but like from a tooth you lost like 30 years ago.
It's the best.
And again, you know, again, I know mom's listening,
you know, don't overdo it because it was, you know.
Yeah.
But it was- Well, you already did say
that Tolya was the hero of this story
and mom's probably like, wait a minute.
She knows.
Mom knows who the hero is.
Yeah.
I also, oh, but I did, they left, so they drove off
and I think I'd eaten the first two bags like 12 did, they left, so they drove off
and I think I'd eaten the first two bags
like 12 minutes after they left.
And I did call them in the car and I was like, oh.
And they go, what's wrong?
I'm like, I already ate two bags.
And I think mom was very happy to know
how quickly I'd put them down.
But thank you, thank you so much for the Mr. Webb story.
What a delight.
Do you like a canoe, Posh?
I love a canoe.
I haven't been in a canoe in so many years.
I love a canoe.
Yeah, canoes good.
And that sort of Midwestern canoe,
that's the way to live, man.
I'm sure the South has a lot of great canoe areas,
but yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I'd love a canoe trip in my future. All I love canoe trips. I love canoe trips. I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips.
I love canoe trips. I love canoe trips. I love canoe trips. I love own child. I grew up in a core four family. And when we would go on
vacation, if we needed to take a taxi to the airport, my parents would do the routine to make
the taxi driver think that our house would not be unattended while we were gone, because it would be
clear to the taxi driver when we loaded up the suitcases in the trunk
and went to the airport that maybe the house would be unoccupied and like ripe for thievery.
So my parents would say to each other, oh, I think Danny's arriving later today and oh
yeah, it'll be good to have him at the house and do a little routine, a little extra loud to make sure that the taxi driver could hear. And I remember thinking that this
was really funny and also a little bit scary as a child. And now I do the same thing with
my daughter. When we leave the house in an Uber lift to go to an airport with a bunch
of suitcases, we say, Oh, Susan's going to be at the house
later and wouldn't it be weird to have a dog in our house? There's never been a dog in
our house. I can't believe a dog will be in our house for a whole week with Susan. And
our friend Susan doesn't know we do this, but that's who we usually use. And when I was
growing up, my parents always said Danny and Tiffany. That was some people we knew and
those were the ones who would supposedly take care of the house while we were gone, guard the house
while we were gone. And my daughter has gotten really into the fun of this. And the last
time we had to go through this routine, she said, and also the parrot, wouldn't it be
interesting to have a parrot there? And I started to get really nervous because I was
ready for the Uber driver to say that he had a parrot
and want to compare parrot notes and I don't have any parrot notes. I was trying to remember
in my head different possible breeds of parrots and what our parrot was named and what our
parrot would like to eat. And I told my daughter later that she needs to stick to the script
a little bit better, but she thought it was pretty funny. And I don't think that this does anything to protect your house from thieves,
but I do recommend it as a fun beginning of vacation tradition.
Thanks, folks.
Thank you, Tracy. That was outstanding.
And let me say, I agree, the value of that
is the fun of play-acting with your kids.
Yeah.
Because you just have a scenario,
and it's just, yeah, here we go.
Because there's no value
in the way that it's intended.
And I would say the more you talk about your house sitters,
your make-believe house sitters,
the more the taxi or Uber driver knows
nobody's gonna be there.
Nobody's there.
It's, it was that old like Saturday morning cartoon
or that little song about like,
when you tell a lie, it leads to another.
Then you tell two lies to cover each other.
And it's a bit of that.
It's like once a kid's like, okay, we can work,
cool to lie here.
And then you just keep spinning that yarn out.
Yeah. And then you're like texting a friend being like,
hey, can you call me?
I'm gonna put you on speaker
and can you make a parrot noise?
I think there's Uber drivers onto us.
Yeah, that would be a fun game to just play
all the way to the airport, just keep spinning it out.
A crazier and crazier story.
And then- I also just love when you, yeah,
when you're just asking for it
when you are teaching your kid how to lie.
Right.
Because the idea that they don't know where the line is
for how far to take the lie, that's on you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did I tell you about how Axel, very in line,
will always, he loves to blow up a lie
in front of strangers.
And sometimes when I'm walking,
the kids down the street were in a hurry.
I'm either taking them to school or running to get a train.
And there are sometimes these acidic Jews on the street
who wanna perform a prayer for you if you're Jewish.
And they sort of hang out on Fridays more often
than not on the street.
And they'll just like ask people as they pass, like, are you Jewish?
And, you know, it's very nice that they want to do this.
We have no judgment, but you know, obviously we don't have time for it.
Right.
Right.
And so I was walking down the street with the two boys and the
guy goes, excuse me, are you Jewish?
And I go, no.
And Ax goes, we are.
And then he looked at me.
The part that was the best is he looked at me with his big smile
like, I know you didn't want that.
Like it wasn't even like he was doing it to be honest, he just wanted to be a little stinker.
Yeah.
And then does Axel get into a 45 minute conversation?
Oh yeah, I just grab him. We just keep moving. Yeah.
Which is easy with Axel, because he's usually on a scooter that he's just making me, like using me as a toe rope.
Yeah.
So.
He generally has a cape on.
He generally has a cape. He's dressed like, yeah, a wizard.
Yeah.
Thank you, Tracy.
Thank you so much, Tracy. Great story.
Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors.
This episode of Family Trips is brought to you by McDonald's.
Hey, Pashi.
Yeah, Sufi.
You know, I've often got a whole family in my car.
Yeah. You got a lot of kids.
Yeah, I also don't have to tell you,
this podcast is about family trips,
and one of the key things about a family trip
is keeping them fed.
And sometimes you're on the road,
and everybody's hungry, and you just time.
Time is of the essence, my man.
Do you hear me? Mm-hmm. Time is of the essence, my man. Do you hear me?
Time.
I do.
I hear you.
And what I love about the McDonald's app
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Buy one get one and that's great because I buy one for one kid, another one gets one
and the third one fends for themselves.
That's how you find out who's the strongest.
Yeah, downloading the McDonald's app is a no-brainer
because you get a new deal every single day.
I would say the most important time for us, like three.
If it's 3 p.m., and we had too early a breakfast
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they had to have way too early a lunch, right?
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So we once had a trip planned to go to see Yellowstone. We were going through Wyoming
and my parents had booked this really nice hotel
that had horseback riding and different activities for kids.
And I have two other brothers
and we were supposed to go there,
but we got there so early in the day on our road trip that my parents couldn't even check in. So we decided
to just keep driving for a little bit to find something good until we could check in. But
we ended up getting so far and so distracted from coming back that we were like an hour
and a half out of the way. So my parents either had to cancel the hotel that we had and get somewhere
in the town we were currently in or drive an hour and a half out of the way just to
get back to the hotel they originally booked. So they decided to cancel it before checking
that there was a vacancy in any hotel nearby us. So we went to all these different hotels
and sketchy grungy hotels and they finally settled on a
really crappy motel with an M motel and one king bed in a smoking room left it
was the only thing available and so my parents took it we had to sleep on the
cot on the floor my parents got the bed and it smelled so bad that we went to
Walmart and bought Febreze
and just doused it.
Of course, it only made it smell even worse.
So we're sitting there in a motel, smoking room,
laying on a cot with mics, probably.
And when we went to Walmart,
we also got to pick out one movie.
So we brought the portable DVD player into the smoking room and watched Monty
Python and the Holy Grail while my dad laid in the king bed regretting every decision
he had made. I look back at that too. This was so long ago and I can't think of Monty
Python or watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail without thinking of a motel nor can I
go to a motel without thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and how of a motel, nor can I go to a motel without thinking of Monty Python
and the Holy Grail and how pissed my dad would have been.
Well, I mean, it's the perfect movie
because I would say it's the one movie
you could watch anywhere and it would still work.
Yeah.
One of my all time favorites.
It is, yeah, it is, it's so great.
And it also could maybe, maybe make you forget
about some of those other things about the smoking room.
Do you ever, all right,
I'm gonna tell you a true thing about me.
Okay.
And I think, I don't know if I always felt this way
or just felt this way after I have like a family and kids.
Sometimes I drive by like one of those little dingy motels,
you know, with all the like, the doors on the outside
of all the rooms.
Yeah, yeah.
And I think it would kind of be nice to be on the lam.
Yeah, I mean, I haven't thought of that,
but I also, I will say that I'm probably more okay
in a lower end motel than a lot of people are.
I'm never like, oh, these sheets.
And like, oh, like what's happened on this comforter?
I'm like, nothing's gonna seep into you.
Yeah.
I guess if there's like bed bugs,
but if there's bed bugs or actual things
that are biting you, I bet they take measures
to correct that, I would hope.
Yeah, I mean, obviously I'm never gonna on a family trip stay at one of those little motels. Right.
But yeah, there's something I always just kind of think about like, I don't know,
would it be cool to be in one of those little motels like while I'm like putting peroxide
in my hair to make it all blonde, you know, using the sink,
maybe like growing out a mustache or something.
Yeah.
And I got like a duffle bag full of maybe,
I don't know, cash.
Yeah.
And I'm just doing that thing where like,
I'm sort of like pulling them, you know,
I'm doing a lot like pulling the little blinds away,
looking to make sure everything's
in an all clear situation.
Yeah, so you fantasize about that?
I fantasize about that a lot.
Like I watched No Country for Old Men.
Uh-huh.
Recently, there's a lot of that.
Like there's a lot of like hiding in motels
and like using the air duct to hide stuff.
And I just kind of watched it.
I'm like, that seems so nice.
Yeah.
I mean, but if you're running from something,
you gotta eventually get somewhere.
So I don't know where you, I don't know what your-
No, usually they get you before you get to me.
No, I know.
In this story, I don't like, it doesn't add like,
I just like that moment like before I get caught,
but I also don't, you know, yeah.
But when you get caught, you're probably like,
oh, I don't like these motels, thank you.
Just take me- Yeah, well, I feel like
I have a thing where like- Take me a present, please.
Yeah, exactly. All right,, I feel like I have that thing where like,
yeah, exactly.
All right, let's hear our next one.
Hey Josh and Seth, I'm Katie from California.
Love the podcast.
Here's my sibling story.
In the early 90s, my family went on a road trip
up to Oregon and Washington to visit family
and go sightseeing.
We were a core four family with my mom,
my dad, and my older brother, Brian.
At the time, I was 11 and my brother was 16.
My brother and I got along quite well growing up and still do.
We had a lot of differences and a big age gap, but we shared the same sense of humor.
We're big Corrections fans, Seth.
Sorry, Josh.
I'll go back to my family trip.
While in Oregon, visiting my aunt and my uncle and cousins, we decided to cool off on the
hot day and go swimming in the Willamette River, which was just about a 15-minute drive
from my relatives' house.
The Willamette River isn't huge, but it does have a spot where there's a ferry to get
across the highway.
And earlier in the week, a truck transporting cherries tipped over on the ferry and spilled
cherries into the river.
Now these cherries were ones that had been bleached and were going to be dyed to become
maraschinos.
I had not heard the story of the cherry truck tipping over, but my brother had.
So we were happily splashing around in the river having a great time when all of a sudden
I spotted something floating in the river.
I went closer to examine it and I was immediately groved out.
"'Ew, it looks like an eyeball,' I think I shouted to my brother. And that's when
he got the idea to play the prank on me.
"'Yeah, it kind of does,' he says. And then another one came floating by and he said,
"'I really do think those are eyeballs.' I started to panic and looked his way. He was
about waist deep in the water
and pretended to slip on something.
I asked him if he was okay and he said,
I think I just slipped on the head.
I ran screaming out of the river terrified
we had found bits of a dead body
when in fact it was just two wrinkled bleach cherries
and a rock.
My brother thought it was hilarious.
Really great.
I mean, shout out to the brother.
I also think there's nothing funnier than,
again, there's nothing funny.
Posh, you know where I stand.
There's nothing funny about a dead body in a river.
Yeah.
There's something a little funny about saying the head.
Yes.
But also, I mean, I just had images of Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom with the
chilled monkey brains. And when those eyeballs pop up, it is such a, yeah, it's such a scary,
freaky thing and for an 11 year old in a. With a couple, yeah, eyeball things floating down.
It's also very funny to think that you would be lucky enough in a river with a current
to find both eyeballs.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like somebody could find, I think when you find the second eyeball, that actually disproves
the first one was an eyeball.
Yeah.
I was really expecting to have just so many eyeballs and actually coming down. Yeah, the eyeball truck.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And also I love the corrections with Jonathan Franzen.
That's what she was talking about.
Great book.
How dare you?
Great book.
Yeah, no offense. No book. Yeah, no offense.
No offense.
Yeah, no offense taken.
Yeah, I will, a lot of fun river stuff today.
Yeah.
Makes me wanna jump into a river.
Yeah.
I was telling Mackenzie,
I've never really been on a proper float.
I was telling Mackenzie, I've never really been on a proper float. Yeah.
And it's, yeah, it's in my want category.
I desperately want to go on a nice big float.
I feel like we could, you know, why don't you try to,
why don't you try for once in your goddamn life to win the Fantasy Football League
and then you can schedule, you can make the trip that it's a float.
We were going to do a float one year when we were in Boulder, Colorado,
but there was so much rain and the float people were like,
like two to three of you will die if you go in here.
I mean, so who would you, a perfect world,
which of our 12 friends, who are the two or three
that you would love to?
Yeah.
Yeah.
two or three that you would love to. Well, those are great listener stories.
This is always just such a delight.
And Sam, we open it up for you to bring us our listener questions.
Yeah.
So we, as you guys know, we get so many questions from our listeners.
A lot of them send in voicemails, a lot of them sending questions on social media. So today we thought we'd pull some from our social media. So our first
question is for Josh from Natalie. Josh, tell us more about your songwriting process. Do
you do it right after each interview? We'd love to know more details. details? I get a sort of the cut of the show as soon as our editor has it in
good shape. They'll send it over to me and I listen to it at double speed and I
take notes on the whole episode and then I just sort of look at those notes and
wait for a song to pop into my head and And then I grab, you know, a karaoke version of that. I make
sure that there is a karaoke version of that because I'm not a musician. And then I write
out some lyrics and I have a three by four foot coat closet in my apartment. And I pull
all the coats out and it's a little sort of recording studio in there.
Is it upstairs?
Is it the guest room closet?
No, no, no, it's the front hall closet.
Oh my God.
Yeah, so I lay all the coats on the dining room table
and I go in there and it's very hot.
And there are some days where I'm like mad
that I have to do it, but then it's like,
well,
this is like kind of a job and
yeah, pretty lucky that this is what I get to do.
And it's fun going in there, but it does, it takes me a while.
It can take me a while and I'm a bit of a perfectionist with it.
And I'm sure some of you,
some of the listeners will be like, well, those aren't,
they're not perfection, and they're not.
Like, I'm not an amazing singer.
I want to thank Natalie.
This is a great question because this is a conversation
that I'm very happy we're having.
I have some questions, some follow-ups.
Yeah.
What is the, do you, can you remember, maybe you can't,
and maybe you can think about it for the next time we do this,
but do you remember the song that popped in your head
the fastest as far as the inspiration for what it would be?
The Pamela Adlon was pretty fast.
Okay.
Yeah, which was Take of Wet Legs, Shazlong.
Yeah.
And it just sort of,
I had been hanging out with a friend of Mackenzie's and her daughter
and we were listening to that song and I knew we had the Pamela Adlon coming up but I hadn't
gotten a cut of it yet.
And I was like, oh, that fits in there.
And that's a fun song.
It's a fun song.
Yeah.
We had them do it on our show.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Nice.
That was one of those where you're like, it's fun when you hear a song and you're like,
oh, I would like to see that live up close.
Yeah.
Do you remember the one that was the longest, that took the longest time for you to crack?
Hmm.
I don't know.
I mean, the listener episode ones take longer because I feel like-
Yeah, you have to steal a little something from everybody, right?
I want to, yeah, I want to do a stanza or a verse about everybody.
So I need a song that...
Mr. Webb and me floating down in a canoe.
Gonna get those brownies and I'll bring them back.
And then he's gonna get water in his keys.
Mr. Webb.
See, I don't think it's hard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not saying it's hard.
Sometimes it takes a while. And then sometimes I'll start writing one and it's hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying it's hard. Sometimes it takes a while.
And then sometimes I'll start writing one
and it's just not working and I'll switch.
But pretty much I go with the first thing
that I come up with.
All right, that's a guy.
I do think there's, I think, yeah.
I mean, that's hopefully our improviser blood
because we used to do, you make up songs
about audience members on stage
in improv shows.
And so sometimes you just have to take the inspiration
and jam ahead with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, great question, Natalie, thank you.
Okay, our next question, you know, Seth,
hopefully if your daughter grows up
and decides to come listen to this
specific episode, we should rephrase this in a nicer way.
But Jackie wants to know, Seth, how did you know that you wanted to ruin your core four
and add your daughter to the fam?
Well, first of all, I do want to say I really enjoyed in two of our listeners stories today,
core four was used, and I'm very happy that,
and I was actually thinking during a story,
oh, I should come up with one now
that I'm no longer core four.
I don't know if we're live at five or Pashi,
maybe help me try to figure out what we should call
a core four plus one.
Yeah, which I also wanna just point out,
I don't think we spoke of ourselves as a core four family
when we were growing up. No.
Yeah.
I know, Dava.
It's more, it's been something that we're reflecting back.
But I think we also like felt pretty good about being four.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
As for why we decided to roll the dice,
I thought we were done.
My wife is a fiver.
And so there was always a chance
that she would want a fifth.
I don't know if we would have,
if there hadn't been a pandemic, to be honest.
I think there was a pandemic and we, like a lot of people,
we're spending time almost exclusively with each other.
And we were just at some point,
you know, we got so bored with everybody
that we thought what if we had a fifth person to talk to?
Right, at least gives you a break from-
Just a break, yeah.
And I also,
Ash, our oldest, really wanted a sister.
And to the point that I remember joking,
if it's a boy, he's gonna drown it in the bathroom.
He was even taught.
He has a fun joke.
He has a fun joke.
And he, the day we told him it was a girl, we have a video, it was really wonderful.
He was sitting on the couch and he just sort of collapsed back in happiness.
Oh, that's great.
And I mean, it's impossible to imagine what it would be like without her and it's everything.
Everyone is their best self around her. Like the boys, the most irritating things about the boys,
they do not do when they're around her.
Like they take, there's a real responsibility they have
to be them best selves with her.
And it's, although I will say she's also so smart.
And Alexi will always say to the boys,
like don't, when you talk badly around her,
she's learning those bad words from you.
And then the other day, Ash said like,
to his brother, like, Axel, you're being so stupid.
And she said, Ash, that a bad word.
And so I said to Alexi,
she's actually not learning them from her.
She's learning from us that they're bad.
I think she's like taking stock of the situation and she's like, I'm not going to learn anything from these two.
But yeah, so and you know, again, you know, we never, I never had a sister.
I've never been around a little girl in my life. Yeah. And it's just, I would never have said
there was anything missing in my life
because our relationship is so great
and yet you have this little girl and you're like, oh.
So, yeah.
She's a little magic girl.
She's a little magic.
So let me just say that if we'd have had a third son,
I'm sure we would have ruined it, but we didn't.
And so we made it better.
Okay, so this is a funny one from Lydia.
Josh, if you wanted to trick Seth
into going to the Grand Canyon, how would you do it?
Ooh.
I mean, maybe I would have to say that,
I have to say like the whole steady is doing a show,
doing a small show.
Yeah, but see then that's not tricking me
because then I gotta go to the Grand Canyon.
Like I think you gotta somehow get me there
without me knowing at any point
that that's where I am physically.
Yeah.
I mean, well, I don't know how you do that.
Yeah, how do you do that. Outside of tying you up and putting you in a bag and putting you in a van. That doesn't sound like trick.
That's like a trick.
I think the way you do it is a helicopter from Vegas.
Yeah.
Oh, that's it.
Because I think that can be done. And so I think I would find a time
that we were in Vegas, which is not often, but happens, I guess. And I would say like, you know,
somebody got me this like kick ass helicopter tour of something and I wouldn't say what like,
we're gonna like swoop the Hoover Dam. And we'll be right back. And I wouldn't say what, like, we're gonna like swoop the Hoover Dam
and we'll be right back.
And you wouldn't know like,
this isn't the way to the Hoover Dam.
Right, right.
It would have to be like for me to though,
agree to go on a helicopter ride,
which sounds like a bad idea.
Right.
You would have to maybe,
it would maybe have to be like your birthday weekend.
Uh-huh.
I'd be like, this is my bachelor party.
Right.
Oh, that's interesting.
So maybe it's like you're, right, hey, it's my bachelor party,
and then one of your other buddies, you'd have to be in on it with him.
Like Ike. Ike would have to say to me, like, I got a helicopter ride, trust me.
And Ike could be like, you're going to hate it, but just do it for Boshie.
Right. He somehow really wants this.
Yeah, he just wants it, all right?
You ruin everything, just have fun for once.
And then you get me there.
And then the helicopter drops us off.
It drops us off at the bottom of the canyon,
we have to hike out and you're furious.
Oh.
So mad.
Don't put these ideas in his head.
Yeah, but the stories, but the stories we'd get from it. The stories. So mad. Don't put these ideas in his head. Yeah.
But the stories, the stories we'd get from it.
The stories, Suf.
The stories.
Okay, we have our last two questions.
So this one is from Emily.
Seth, would you let Josh take your kids on vacation without you and Alexi?
And if so, Josh, where would you take them?
I 100% would let Josh do that.
I think that they would need a few more years
for them to be fair to Josh to send him off with them.
But yes, I would 100% trust Josh with my children.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would like to take them.
I'd like to, I'd probably take them camping,
like Yosemite or Joshua Tree, probably Yosemite.
But somewhere like that, somewhere spectacular where,
we could just have our sort of tent set up
and our home base and we could always hang out there
or there would be a tent for the kids to hang out in
if they ever needed some time alone or whatever,
but there would be activities aplenty
and I feel like that's what I would do with them.
I would do Joshua Tree, but I'd do it soon
because they might be dumb enough to think it's your,
I think that you own it.
Right, yeah. I don't know if dumb enough to think it's your, that you own it. Right.
Yeah.
I don't know if dumb enough is the way I'd phrase it, but yeah.
All right, well, make it say whatever you want.
Mr. Joshua, what movie is Mr. Joshua from?
Mr. Joshua, I can't remember.
He's a bad guy.
Yeah, I can't recall offhand.
Lethal Weapon.
Okay. Got me. Yeah, can't recall offhand. Lethal weapon. Okay.
Got me.
Yeah.
I think that's right.
I think it was Gary Busey in Lethal Weapon.
Is this fun for the listeners?
No.
All right.
Def not.
Sam, do you have anything else for us to get us out of this?
Yeah, I'll save you, Josh.
Yeah, thank you.
But keep Googling it, Seth.
It is, you guys.
Mr. Joshua. He had the famous line is, you guys. Mr. Joshua.
He had the famous line,
Oh, thank goodness.
You can call me Mr. Joshua.
Well.
Thank goodness.
If you're writing movies,
have your characters reference themselves.
Yeah.
And then they'll be memorable to-
Well, nobody would call somebody Mr. Joshua
unless the guy said, call me Mr. Joshua.
Yeah, okay.
All right, Sam.
Our last question is anonymous from Bill Wall.
Oh, Bill Wall.
Yes, and they wanna know,
what are your cross-country flight essentials?
Do you have to bring a sleeping mask?
Do you have to pick up a certain kind of candy?
What are your essentials?
I mean, I need, I gotta have a book.
I'm gonna have a water bottle.
That's kind of all I need.
I was, I did have a big flight recently
and I was nervous that I was gonna be cold.
I get cold on flights and I have this like camping blanket.
But it took up so much room in my backpack, but I had like a full-on blanket.
But I didn't, I didn't need it. So it's not an essential.
For me, it would be fully charged AirPods. I sometimes just forget
how charged they are and that's sort of a disaster when they conk out.
Yeah, I do have, I'll have little earbuds.
I don't use AirPods because I would lose them.
I use like $30 things because I lose them.
But then I also have a pair of like noise canceling
headphones that also can plug into something.
So I've got the wireless and then I've also got the plugins.
And the noise canceling thing is just to have, I'll wear them when I'm not listening to music or watching
anything just to sort of drone out the possible noise of like a screaming kid. Which I am never
really, maybe I'm disappointed with that kid, but I'm not mad at that kid or at those parents.
And I feel like people should do-
You do go over and say, I'm not mad, I'm disappointed.
Yeah.
Like other people are mad, I'm just disappointed.
But I think it's sort of incumbent on everyone
who's getting on an airplane.
I feel like you should have something that can dampen
or eliminate as much of the noise as possible,
especially if you're gonna be the kind of person
that's gonna be like,
this person's too loud.
It's like, well, now they make things.
They make little foam things that you can stuff in your ear,
little earplugs, and you and just get some of those.
Wrap your head in Josh's camping blanket.
I usually have some snacks.
I got some snack stuff going on in my bag.
You always, you're king of snacks.
The one great, not the one great,
one of the many great things about Josh,
back in the day when we used to go see movies together
when we lived in Amsterdam,
Josh would have sort of a full bag of,
you sort of had like a banana shaped bag, is that fair?
It was a skateboard bag, I believe.
I think you could put like an old, long,
like banana skateboard in it.
And it was well known that sort of a few minutes
into a film, Posh that sort of a few minutes into a film,
Posh would sort of hand out a much higher level of snack
than you were used to in a cinema.
A lot of crackers with sort of spreadable cheese.
Mm-hmm. Any number of nuts.
There was some chocolate in there.
It was really, it was, and there's some weird Dutch snacks
that are very near and dear to my heart.
Spicy Pindas.
Yeah, there's like,
There's sort of like,
Katjian Pettis.
Yeah, like sort of peanuts that are,
have like a deep fried, yeah, like shell.
Like shell, but it's also like,
I wanna say like a Middle Eastern spice to it,
maybe like a Turkish spice, I'm not entirely sure.
So it's very good. Where those come from,
but yeah, those were.
Very good when Josh would bring a bunch of beers.
It was definitely against a lot of the rules,
but look, it was the high flying 90s in Amsterdam.
Again, not everybody's watching this on YouTube,
but a reminder, one, to watch it if you wanna see
what Josh's side looked like when he got hit with a golf ball,
and two, just an exceptionally good hair day.
Sometimes I think, you know what?
I'm having a good hair day,
and I just should remember not to see you on those days.
It's over.
Have you showered today?
Well, I don't feel like that's a, you know,
this is listener Q and A.
You know what I mean?
Like it's not, I'm not here to answer your questions.
I'm here to answer questions.
But you have, you are in the office.
So you will arrive at the office unshowered?
Again, if you want to write these in
for the next listener episode.
The thing is, I'll just say,
I'm not going to answer your question,
but I'm going to answer a different question.
I shower before the show, you know?
And so hypothetically, how many showers
is a guy supposed to take in a day?
Well, I mean.
Because at some point your skin dries out,
you know what I mean?
If you just like, spend it.
Also life, you know, life's happening all around us.
And you know, when you're in a shower,
the amount of things you miss.
Sure, like you go, and and again like this is a difference josh is like i'm gonna take a full bath
the amount you've missed in your baths i missed yeah because life's going on while you're just
golden hour in there that's like that's what i keep hearing yeah yeah taking a bath no thank you
yeah i did take a shower this morning, I will say.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, again, it's paying off.
You look fantastic.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Should give it a try.
Thank you to, again, stop.
Thank you to all of our listeners for their stories,
for their questions.
This is a delight to do.
Yeah, thanks for listening in general.
It's really exciting and that we've been doing this just about for a year now.
We really love that you guys listen and we love that you're engaged in this way.
Yeah, it's so much fun to do.
It wouldn't be the same if people weren't listening.
So.
It would just be sad, it would just be a couple of weird dudes.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, thanks everybody.
Thank you.
["Listner"] Listener, stories, yeah.
A teen boy with a free weekend, looking to get out into the world.
And his dad, you know he was a pilot, and he had discount vouchers.
He took a voucher for himself, yeah. He flew down to Mexico.
He probably hoped it'd be sexical.
But it was just probably Mexico.
On the way home he had a layover.
In the terminal he saw his sister.
Were you doing here?
Then there's his daddy, says don't you go tell mama
They all went their separate ways
And then there's Jim, annual trip on the Muskegon now Sufi
Take a turn at the mic if you please, yeah
Mr. Web and Meep floating down in a canoe
Gonna get those brownies And I'm bringing him back
And then he's gonna get water in his keys
Battle for those sweet treats Brave in the white water patch
Wasn't just a couple brownies It was a quadruple batch
Tracy takes a taxi
Tells the driver about Danny and Tiffany But with her daughter it's Susan and her dog
Also Susan has a parrot
That's right, her parrot's gonna stay
In the house with Susan
And her dog and they will teach that bird to say
Mr. Webb and me floating down in a canoe
Gonna get up those brownies and I'm bringing him back
And then he's gonna get water in his keys
Out in old Wyoming, some parents canceled their hotel
before anybody checked to see if there were any vacancies.
Were there any vacancies?
There were no vacancies, no vacancies.
They checked into a motel, yuck!
There was only a smoking room.
Parents slept on a big king bed.
Couple kids on a metal car.
They sprayed Febreze
And it only smelled like chemicals
But they ready to film
Holy grail, quite the tale
Never fails
Mr. Web Enemy
Floating down in a canoe
Gonna get up those brownies
And I'll bring him back
And then he's gonna get water in his keys
Katie from California
Took a swim in the world
And the river her pros and cliches
Sherries with eyeballs and oil
He thinks he just found the head
Mr. Web and Me
Slow down and look at you
Gonna get Uncle Brownie's
And I'll bring him back
And then he's gonna get water in his keys
Thank you for your stories
We couldn't get to everyone
So if we didn't get to everyone, so if we didn't get to yours
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