Fat Chance Podcast - ALEC FLYNN Ep. 107

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

 @Bigalflynn  and the boys are at the Comedy Cabin for the weekend. They adopt a little boy who may or may not be the world record holder for most rolls eaten at Texas Roadhouse. Can we get him a prom date? PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Alec Flynn- @bigalflynn Evan Hull - @evanhull

Yeah, the cinnamon rolls from Texas Roadhouse are very good. Actually, I have the record for the one in Waukesha. I had 25 at one time. Wait, what? Why are you not opening the conversation? Oh, my God. What the fuck just happened? So we're going to...

Buzzer beater. We have another hour to talk about this podcast. We're going to Texas Roadhouse, and we're going to film another episode, and you're just going to eat rolls. Alex the Dumb, I'm the sub, you're our switch. This is fun. My leisure thing is starting these. There we go.

Watching the water boy. We're watching the water boy. All right, here's how we'll start it. Fire away. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Fat Chance Podcast. The only home for all the fattest and biggest ladies on the internet.

I think it's perfect. I think that's our new slogan that we start every episode with. I'm going to make shirts that say, huge woman magnet. You know what I like? I like how Chet Hanks said on a different thing. Chet Hanks, my close personal friend Chet Hanks, might i mind you um he said that you're actually not fat if the tits and ass um are protrude out more than the stomach which really yeah i would uh i i would also uh concede to that theory i respect that point i do think that there are i've seen some

women in wisconsin where there are exceptions to the rule. There are exceptions to the rule. There's definitely exceptions to the rule. Because sometimes those asses protrude out in a not so. Mike, what if it's a fake ass? Does that count then? Is it protruding farther out? No, if you got. No.

John, you're not fat. Well, this is what, Mike. I don't know about that. This is what you said you wanted us to start with, right? Yeah. Grading women's bodies. Yeah, if you get a racial slur in their necks, we're good to go. Fat Chance Podcast, talking about everything that every other guy talks about.

We have Aiden, young Aiden's in the room with us. Aiden's doing the show. We just have a camera on him in the corner. This is actually hilarious. It's awesome. We put him on the window. This is like a reverse therapy session is what this is. Don't look at us, boy.

Aiden's 14 and a half. He can't even look at us. He's in a little high school. We've been doing shows up in the comedy cabin. Mike, are you having fun? I'm having a great time. I got a nice ride from the little autistic boy to our left. He's not autistic.

Don't say that. No, that's what he called himself on the way up here. We promised him. Yeah, because that's probably cool to be autistic now, isn't it, in high school? We promised him we'd get him kissed if he did the podcast. And it's going to be one of us. We're going to find him a hot high school babe. Alex, are you going to ask my name?

Is that why you were at the middle school earlier? We are. Yeah, I can't wait. Aiden wants me to ask him, help him do a promposal. So here's what I'm thinking, Aiden. And you can shoot this down. We should do it now, yeah. We should do it now on the podcast? We should do it now, yeah. We should do it now on the podcast?

We should do it now, yeah. We'll send her a clip. Vicky Valancourt, will you go to prom with Aiden? What's her name? What's her name? We'll bleep it out. No, don't do it now. Don't do it now.

Don't do it now. We have to. It's going to be. I'm going to fly out for it. I'm going to fly back out for it. It's got to be special. Do you play? You don't play sports at the high school, do you?

I used to swim. Okay. What are you involved in extracurricular activities-wise? I'm in the jazz band at school. Of course he is. Yeah, I know. Okay, here's what we do. Jazz band.

No, sax. Saxophone. Okay, that's cool. Saxophone. So here's what we do. Are you a drummer? Jazz band. Are you a drummer? No, saxophone. I play a tenor saxophone. Okay, that's cool. Tenor saxophone. So here's what we do. We recreate Whiplash, okay, where he just keeps playing, and I'm like, louder, louder, you stupid fucking idiot.

Come on, you're out of tune, out of tune. Do you think you're in tune? And then you break down, hit me with this tenor saxophone, and you go, and then you look right at the girl, and you go, babe, will you go to prom with me? Yeah, call her babe. Because she's like, oh, babe, and I'm like. How do we get her in the room? Yeah.

In this room? You just tell her we're doing a podcast. I guess, yeah. Babe, and she's like, why are you calling me babe? I just don't remember your name, I'm going to be honest. Most baller move of all time. I'm just, we've only had class together. I just don't remember your name. I'm going to be honest. Most baller move of all time. We've only had class together.

I don't pay attention during attendance. I don't know who's who. How big is your high school? Do you have a big high school? 1,200. 1,200 people. How fat are they? Yeah, how fat are they?

What's the mass of your high school? I'm saying circumference or volume. Oh, you're talking about volume. Cubic feet. Milwaukee High, sponsored by Fat Chance Podcast. How many gallons is your high school of women? How many gallons of women? Could we start a farm? Is Chet Hanks.

You're so fat phobic. I am. I don't like this at all. All bodies are beautiful bodies on my podcast right now. Especially in Milwaukee. Okay, especially in Milwaukee. Should we just switch it up and just be really woke next? We're not woke.

We're positive. There's a big difference. Dude, if my boy Chet Hanks was here, he'd go, Boomba-clot, pussy-clot, young Michael. That's what he would say to you. Yeah, that's the best indication that we're also not woke. Young Michael, suck on a mother.

That's what he would say to you. Wag-wag. Yeah. Me love ya a long a mother. That's what he would say to you. Wagwan. Yeah. Me love ya a long time. Yeah, me prick. Yeah. Oh. Me love ya.

Yo, you know, he's cool, though. I met him at Trevor Wallace's birthday party. How was that birthday party? It was crazy. I showed up with a 30 rack of Bud Light, and everyone was like, is that a designer bag? And I was like, no. They thought it was like a joke, and I was like, is that a designer bag? And I was like, no. They thought it was like a joke. And I was like, no, I just wanted to bring my own beers because I had a feeling there was going to be a lot of weird mixed drinks.

Yeah, those dumb long drinks. Yeah. But it was a fun time. You don't like long drinks? No. I don't like them either. I like them. I've had one, and I thought they were.

I got the zero sugar one. They're pretty good. Don't ever get alcohol made by the Swedes, all right? Why not? Because it's all fermented bullshit and sugary nonsense. Isn't that what beer is, fermented? Oh, Evan, you don't like our drinking. Why not?

Oh, no. I don't like anything about those Scandinavian fruits. Come on, no. Why are you being so mean? Too hot and tall. Too hot and tall, and you're short and stout. That's right. You're a part of one of our little fairy tales.

This is a pretty short episode. I appreciate you not saying that. Aiden's the tallest one in here, isn't he? Yeah, he's 6'12". You've got to be, what, 6'6"? Yeah. 6'6"? Yeah, he's a freak.

Trying to sell him to his date. Dude, you don't need to. They're going to say yes. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be signing autographs on his campus. I'm going to be like, i'm the tiktok guy what's up hey i'm looking for uh bethany johnson yeah the parking lot selling cigarettes just my best friend wants to ask you to prom just wondering and uh yeah that's how we're gonna do it i i really

like like what's the uh what's a cool promposal? Did you guys have a cool promposal you saw when you were in high school? What did you, how did you propose to, at prom, Michael? Did you just like? I gave, prom, I gave a Build-A-Bear. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, it had a little voice thing. It said, will you go to prom with me? Whoa.

All right, that's pretty good. That's good. That's really good. I was expecting you would, like, throw a jewel at the back of a girl's head. Yeah, I threw a rock at her window. And go, hey, bitch. Hey, fuck you, you're coming. Get's really good. I was expecting you would throw a jewel at the back of a girl's head. Yeah, I threw a rock at her window. Hey, bitch. Fuck you. You're coming.

Get in the car. Hey, bitch. You horny. He hit her with a skateboard. Yeah, I hit her with a skateboard. Yeah. That was cool. He beat her over the head with it.

Evan, who did you want to ask to prom? Because I know you couldn't muster up the balls. No. My girlfriend, I had a girlfriend but she moved for for her senior year she moved to Hong Kong she moved overseas that sounds pretty convenient so I asked a friend oh the friend how did you ask oh I just did a standard nice little sign some flowers some she knew we did it very gently very gently like that's the standard way to ask anyone especially because it was not a romantic thing

Because we were good friends And we were like I had talked to her about it Like before that Oh so you got like consent to ask her Yeah because she knew I had a girlfriend Oh okay I wanted to bring my hot sweet girlfriend

Who decided to convert to Chinese Convert to Chinese? Yeah Yeah that's a tough conversion Clip that one up Just get converted to Chinese She wanted to convert Actually we don't recognize the people The People's Republic of China on this podcast.

Not in relation to Hong Kong or Taiwan. We're all for a free Hong Kong, a free Taiwan. Free Nepal. And a free Nepal. And body positivity. Nepal's already free. And body positivity. It's a sovereign nation.

But to free Nepal. This is what happens, Mike. When you work at a gym too long, you're like, yeah, a bunch of fucking wads walking around. Yeah, you get really sick. You see all walks of life. Some waddle, some strut. Dude, this is Wad Sconston right here. This is where we live. We have to cure you of your fat phobia tonight. I'm so fat phobia. How are we

going to do that? We're going to do exposure therapy. We're going to have a bunch of them sit on you. Yeah, I like that. We're going to get you smushed. Cure me or kill me? We're going to mush them. If you die, that's not really our problem. We're going to put them in a diaper. I'm not strong kill me? We're going to mush them. If you die, that's not really our problem. We're going to put them in a diaper. I'm not strong enough. If you die, it's because you couldn't handle being around such huge women. Not the pounds.

No. Okay. No. That plays nothing into it. I'm glad we clarified that one. We're also watching The Waterboy. We are. It's on silent.

On silent. Oh, man. Can't believe Jon Stewart's back. Jon Stewart made. Whoa, Henry Winkler's in this movie, too. Yeah, Henry completes Can't believe Jon Stewart's back. Jon Stewart made... Whoa, Henry Winkler's in this movie, too. Yeah, Henry completes Idiot's Guide to Coaching College Football. Hell yeah. We can't have...

It's nine minutes. We can't have run out of things to talk about. No, we have plenty to talk about. We can talk about whatever. We could just watch the movie, too, and they could just watch us watch the movie. Watch us watch the movie. We watch Aiden be uncomfortable in the windowsill. Aiden's not uncomfortable.

That's just his face. No. Do you guys like those videos where people just react to watching things? Do you ever watch those? No. No. Those are dangerous. Because it feels like then they're just...

It feels so fake. No, I don't think it feels fake. It's just content for the sake of it. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's very freaky. I don't think it feels fake. It's just like, it's just content for the sake of it. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's very free. This is a manufactured expression. You know what?

I like, we went antiquing today. Yeah. And I was walking around. I left, dude, I absolutely blew up the toilet in that antiquing place. It was really. I don't know what it is about a guy like me in a city like this but i have one omelet and a cup of coffee and it is i blew up the toilet and the mcdonald's across the street from the comedy cabin because i wasn't sure there was a bathroom for us and um well i knew there was

a bathroom but i didn't i knew it was just like one stall i'm like i don't want to be that guy right when i get there and i pulled right off in the mcdonald's right before i got here last night sometimes walking into an antique store will just make my bowels start to tremor. Tremor? Yeah, it's like going to the suburbs. You know what I mean? No. Wait, what?

I don't know. Sometimes I get out there and I just go like, oh, my whole being is shifting a little bit and I start to have to have time to cleanse. Oh, I'm changing it up. Yeah. It just goes like, it's like, you know, you drop weight when you're in, when you sense danger. I don't, I'm not going to elaborate further on this.

Please. Come on. No, I don't know. I can't explain it. It just, I don't think you know what you're talking about. I do. I just walk into an antique store and my bowels start to tremble. No, I meant to drop weight when you sense danger.

Oh, that's true. That's, that's like a, that's a thing. That's why you shit your pants when you're scared. Oh, really? Yeah. Wait, actually? Yeah, that's like an evolutionary thing. So when an animal's scared, they shit because you're faster.

I feel like we should have our Aiden check that. Can you fact check that for us? Aiden, can you go on your phone? Aiden's our numbers guy. Come on, numbers guy. How many kilos of poop can leave someone's body? Do you lose weight

when you're scared? No, you don't. I mean, that's what I meant by drop weight. So scared shitless? What does that come from? Yeah, that's why you piss and shit yourself

is because you're so scared that you have to drop weight because you've got a predator tracing after you. Yeah. I feel that way in an antique store and I don't know why.

That's because you could have taken some antiques home with you then. Oh, I have room to stuff it in my ass is that what you're saying? Exactly. Okay, I can eat it?

You get like an antique salt and pepper shaker showered right up there you're good to go. Chew on that ceramic and poop it out later. I think we settled it. Very good.

What'd you get at the antique store? You just got mugs and watches? I got a couple mugs and watches, yeah. I got a shirt. I got a Bulls t-shirt.

You got a nice Bulls t-shirt. I got some classic, like, old man gear. Mugs and watches. You do kind of have an old man. You are a vintage look. I like it. I feel vintage, man. I mean, the other day I wore this John Daly fucking sweater or polo that I was like, man,

people are probably thinking I'm, like, going probably think i'm like going to like walk right to the racetrack or something like that and avoid my family i have a big divorced dad energy but i think in a good way like i'm a good like an old money divorced dad yeah but like i do the right thing you know what i'm saying like we divorced after the kids were already in school so it's not like you're just like and it mutual it was a mutual thing like listen me we're still joint custody we're now just we're better friends

than we ever were husband and wife you know what I mean oh absolutely yeah we're better friends than we were partners she moved on

you're still on the couch though yeah exactly I'm in the pool house yeah I mean she has all the money it's all in her name I was never a success I think we were getting too captivated by the water boy. I

think I didn't turn it off. Put the box news on. Thank God we're so back now. We're such idiots. This is how badly distracted we are as a generation. The brainwaves are flying. Aiden, did you look it up? Welcome back to the Fat Chicks podcast. So it says because the body needs all your blood and energy to fight or flee, digestion often stops, causing the bowels to empty. Let's go. Yeah, so it is a thing to poop when you're really scared. Huge win for Evan. Look at that.

That's a big win for Evan. Yeah. I thought you were just pulling that out of your ass. Oh! You know what? Yeah, I got scared, so I dropped some weight on that one. I got that mic. I got the mics.

Let's go. Look at that spike. Look at that. That's exactly it. Come check us out Comedy Cabin tonight By the time you're listening To this it's too late It'll be long gone

Yeah we'll be We'll be long dead It'll be too late man Oh my god Aiden will have moved on From his prom date Dude what is it like Growing up in this state

That must blow What are you talking about Aiden Milwaukee rules That must blow dude I've been to Boston It ain't that great Boston is the reason This country has It its fucking freedom.

So I'll have you shut your mouth real quick. But were you there? Were you there? I was there in spirit. That's true. That spirit of America runs through me, brother. That's right. It's Massachusetts, baby.

All right. I was there. I was. I think we need to do the national anthem. I was on Paul Revere's. I was pretty much on Paul Revere's rock. Are you anti-America? I'm not anti-America.

I want Aiden to do it. This is who I am. At my core, I am fucking Paul Revere's right are you anti-america I'm anti-america I want Aiden this is who I am at my core I am fucking Paul Revere I am John Adams I am David Ortiz I'm all those people yeah okay in that order in that order I am the American that's a good I am Mark Wahlberg is that your Mount Rushmore dude that would be kind of Mount Rushmore or Boston people yeah whoa this is a great question all right I'm really happy that you asked me this. Number one, John Adams. Great guy. I think he was a great second president.

You know, fun fact about John Adams, when the Boston Massacre occurred, John Adams was the only... He went and he represented the Redcoats, and he won their case for them because he said this should be not a trial by mob law. We have to show that we, the colonies, are not a people who are reactionary and crazy, you know, fucking colony folk. We have to show that we can govern ourselves and we have a rule, you know, rule to law. That's in the Massachusetts Constitution.

He helped write the Massachusetts Constitution, too. It's one of the best in the country. Number two. I will retain none of that. Yeah, I was going to have our numbers guy verify all that. It's true, man. Alright, so we have John Adams. John Adams. Number two, David Ortiz. Big Poppy. Mr.

Clutch. I mean, this is our fucking city. That's what I'm talking about. Survived a stabbing, right? Survived a stabbing in the Dominican Republic. One of the best. I mean, just a jovial. One of the worst places to get stabbed. Just a jovial guy. So I might tease your lord and savior.

Number three, Tsarnaev. No, kidding. No. No. Number three is a good question. Probably Ben Affleck. Damn. Ben Affleck. Damn. Ben Affleck, I think, is a pretty easy pickup for me.

Oh, yeah. Ben Affleck not only has dated the litany of hot Hollywood women, he then ended up all the way back with J-Lo at the end and has put out some really good movies, Argo, The Town. I think you're from A-Rod, too. I feel like that's a win-win for Boston. Dude, I know. He's crushed it, man. I went to high school with a womanwin for Boston. Dude, I know. He's crushed it, man. I went to high school with a woman who was dating him a couple years ago.

She was a Playboy bunny. Yeah, really? Exactly, dude. He's the man. He is the man. He's an absolute beauty. Armageddon, greatest movie. Greatest movie ever.

And then number four. Wow, this is a really good one. I mean, you could go historical. You could go kind of all around. I feel like you can't do Mark Wahlberg and Ben Affleck. No, this is a really good one. I mean, you could go historical. You could go kind of all around. I feel like you can't do Mark Wahlberg and Ben Affleck. No, absolutely not. I don't think Mark Wahlberg is up there. Mark Wahlberg is like, he's okay.

I like him, but I don't know. What do you guys think? I don't have any Boston. You don't have any Boston? Okay, so you are familiar with the history of this country's nation. Oh, John F. Kennedy. John F. Kennedy. John F. Kennedy.

That's an easy one. John F. Kennedy. Sure. That's not a bad four. That's a great four, dude. That is a good four. I'm trying to think of the Denver. Yeah, I'm trying to think of Milwaukee ones.

You can't, see? Yeah, it's like. The Denver, well, I mean. I've just proven my point. John Elway brought us to Denver. Ours would be all athletes. Yeah. Ours would be.

David Gruber is not. Who's David Gruber? One call, that's all. Oh, wow. Sick local reference. He's an attorney. Yeah, he's an attorney. Wow.

Is that your billboard attorney? Yeah. Sick local reference. Denver has an attorney wow is that your billboard attorney yeah sick local reference Denver has a Brian Bulldog Moore no we have we have uh the strong arm Frank Hazar yeah yeah this one guy was just like the strong arm I'm like strong arming someone is actually illegal Gruber is I mean he's an icon here more he's in the Bucks he's in Pfizer if he's in the airport it's everywhere like when you come back from Terminal southwest milwaukee airport it says david gruber welcomes you back to milwaukee fuck yeah dude i love that he's winning he's winning back to omer there's a lot of personal

injury attorneys popping up i think everywhere across the country now has anyone has anyone noticed that that's because everyone's texting and driving now really yeah there's like a lot more like traffic death i have that's what i'm gonna believe you on this one you nailed it out That's because everyone's texting and driving now. Really? Yeah, there's a lot more traffic deaths. That's what my guess is. I'm going to believe you on this one. You nailed it out of the park with the shitting facts. We just buying everything. Evan has his fees earned credibility.

This would be unverifiable, but that makes the most sense that there would be all these traffic accidents because people are distracted and drunk and texting now. Especially here, the drunk. That's just my guess. Okay. Didn't Teslas just get recalled for like a self-driving

safety thing? I know a guy who totaled his Tesla because he was hammered and then he told the insurance company that it was a self-driving and he got a brand new

Tesla for free. Yo, that's genius. He pays his insurance premiums, but yeah. Jesus. That's genius. What a beauty. There's no way to tell, though,

that self-driving wasn't on's no way to tell though that self-driving wasn't on there has to be Aiden look it up this is why we have Aiden I feel like it would cost the insurance company more money to investigate that

than to just get him a new fucking Tesla Aiden Google why are there more personal injury turnovers if the whole computer

is just mangled yeah you probably can't look it up I don't know he crashed into a tree or a dumpster I don't know dude did you guys get laid at prom what happened at prom no I was a pussy no The computer's just mangled. Yeah, you probably can't look it up. I don't know. He crashed into a tree or a dumpster. I don't know.

Dude, did you guys get laid at prom? What happened at prom? No, I was a pussy. No? What about you? No, I went with a friend. Remember, my girlfriend lived overseas. That literally, that means nothing. She converted to China-ism.

She converted to Hong Kong. China-ism? China-ism. China-ism. Hey, it's Hong Kong. We don't recognize the Chinese government. Yes, exactly. Yeah, you mean the Hong Kong?

The Hongkines? The Hongkines. The Hongkism. The Hongkines. I'm Hongkinesian. I honked her Hong. I was busy honking her Kong. I was honking her Kong.

Hey, I was King Kong or Hong Kong. You don't want to Kong someone's Hong, though. That's bad. That's against the rules. I got my Hong Konged. Oh, that's great. No, you got my kong hong big trouble in little hong kong did you see that tweet that was like uh big trouble in

little china is what trump would have called vietnam that's really good got me good that's really good good. Wait, what fact were we confirming? The personal injury. Okay. All right, so what it is, there's an increased access to vehicles in the modern age, and more people have to travel for work, so just more people are commuting. There's a greater legal awareness right now. More people are aware of their rights and corporate negligence. Can I ask where you looked that up on?

What's the website called? You're not wrong. No, I'm right. That first point was right. I'm very right. There's just a lot more people in this world. There's a law firm in northern Utah. No shit, dude. We need population control. Look at that. We need less people. Aiden, that's not a reliable source.

Is that Wikipedia? No, he read it off of... Boston Chronicles? Relax. he read it off of... Boston Chronicles? Relax. He read it off of a... All their law firms' website. Oh. So, like... They're in Utah.

Mormons don't lie. That's a thing. That's a... He's got a... No, they don't. Can you fact check that? They're actually the most devious because they don't drink.

The only thing they lie about is who the one true savior is. Yeah. They're the most devious people, dude. Mormons. For sure. Because if you are that strict in your day-to-day life, you have to lie.

Yeah, because you've got to be getting that energy out somewhere, otherwise you're going to shoot up a mall. Yeah, they're devious. They're devious scoundrels. That's why they do anal. Alright, rank the religions right now. Judaism. Worst to least. Oh, you starting for worst to least? Hong Kongism. Yeah, Hong Konganese.

Hong Konganese. Let's see. Rastafarianism. Dude, my roommate's Jewish. What's that thing they keep in the doorway again? Mazza. Yeah, dude, the Mazza. I thought when he said that the first time I'm like, you're fucking with me. It's just the blessing into the entryway of the house.

Yeah, you're supposed to kiss it and then touch it. Well, what is it? What does it look like? It's a bar that you set in the doorway like this, and it's got a shin on it. And it just signifies that's the entryway into your domicile. Yeah, because before that was set up, every Jewish person would shit their pants walking into a new room. Oh, I hope there's no one waiting for me. Oh, I hope there's no one waiting for me. Yeah, I hope that no one's waiting for me.

I'm scared. The last time we hid in an attic. Yeah. Are there travel-sized mezuzahs where you'd put it in here? Oh, I don't think so. Probably. I bet like a real Orthodox Jew. You know those tunnels in New York?

I'm sure they had them on the entryway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The tunnels. Dude, it was so funny that everyone was like, yo, don't be anti-Semitic during this time. And then we went and did the most like racistly Jewish thing of all time, which was live underground. We were just talking about this today. I love it when people don't try to uproot their own stereotypes. Yeah.

Well, bro, I mean, imagine living like on the first floor of a new york apartment and you're like i don't want to like be racist right now but like i'm pretty sure that's hebrew dude that was a tweet a guy you saw this yeah this guy had been tweeting for like two years like guys i'm sorry i know i sound crazy but i swear to god there's yiddish coming from under the floor. And then he retweeted it. It was like, a lot of you owe me an apology. Oh, it's great, dude. It's so exciting that we just were like, we literally are mole people.

We're mole people. Dude, tunnels are huge. I wish we had more tunnels. Okay. I don't think we have a lot of tunnels here. No, this is all an above ground. This is an above ground state. Yeah, above ground state, above ground pools.

Yeah, above ground pools. Yeah, it is an above ground pool. Like, why do we dig up the dirt? We need that from Feed the Cows. Yeah, we got the dirt farm. The dirt farm. Things that are dirt and dirt related. Big Al's Dirt Farm.

Come on by. I'll shove it right in your butt to replace the shit. The Fleet Farm was nice. I really heavily considered buying a crossbow, but I didn't do it. That would have been really great if you came back here with a crossbow. It's like, hey, we got to cancel the show. We accidentally murdered Aiden. No, yeah.

Be like, dude, just put the apple in your mouth. Just put it in your mouth. We turned Aiden into a shish kebab. Oh, my God. Why are you being a bitch? Just do it. We'll give you an extra minute. I swear to God, I will not do this promposal if you don't do this.

I'm so excited. We're going to Fleet Farm for dinner. I'm so excited for this promposal, dude. I'm fucking stoked. I'm going to show up. We're going to play Romeo and Juliet by Taylor Swift. I thought you were going to say by Dire Straits. Yeah, no. Not at all. They don't know who that is.

I don't even think they know that era of Taylor Swift. You guys don't know Mark Knopfler? Do not. I'm not a huge Taylor Swift guy. No? No. I'm not either, but I know the hits. I think I'm like the... Yeah, I know the hits. Yeah, those are the hits. I'm the average listener.

Like if it comes out, I'm not. Marry me, Juliet. You'll never have to be alone. I'll be waiting. Someone got to do his phone. And Christina, will you go to prom with him? Yeah. You should come out on stage wearing a big sequined suit.

All right, everybody. Yeah, what are you going to wear? Not that. A tuxedo? Yeah, everybody. Yeah, what are you going to wear? Not that. A tuxedo? Yeah, nice. Damn, dog. You should wear a tuxedo t-shirt. Wear a tuxedo prom, but also just a nice suit will do just fine.

No, I think tuxedo. Go tuxedo. Did you rent yours? It's in your prom. Yeah, you should buy a tuxedo prom. Definitely. No, absolutely not. You're going to gain 20 pounds over the next eight years.

Tuxedo t-shirt. How do we feel about that? I'm ambivalent. Tuxedo t-shirt. How do we feel about that? Tuxedo t-shirt and then... Are you going to prom with your boys? No, you go tuxedo t-shirt and then you whisper in everyone's ear at prom, don't go to school tomorrow. That's the move. Thank you for being cool.

I always trusted you. Don't go to school tomorrow. Don't go to school tomorrow. I love just the look of him. He's just somber in look of him Aiden Cam He's somber in the corner Sweet Aiden Aiden Cam

He's like I should be home Playing Call of Duty Why did I come to this This is how the sausage is made Aiden This is how You look like one of those Like YouTube live streams Like stuck in a hotel

For 48 hours Just not talking Hey guys I'm here with some Old fucking losers We're doing a podcast Which I guess is this thing you do on a website i don't even know well like and subscribe yeah what's hip now this is us being hip what is

the weird thing what's the new phrase uh the kids have been talking about i can give you one aiden and then i can hear what you have to say because i work with uh there's like some couple high school kids that i work with At the rock climbing gym Gat I've heard about gats Okay wanna give me a definition Or should we have Aiden give it I want Aiden to give it

Aiden Aiden what's the definition of gats Come on AIDS man Don't be timid Alright dude You're gonna lose it Come on Get in there

I'm kind of I'm gonna be out Wait is this a bad word Should we not say it? He's in the jazz band. He's like, I don't know what a gut is. Okay, you're in the jazz band. You're like, yeah, you're an old soul.

It's like, I listen to cool stuff like the fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers. What's your least favorite one? Oh, can I give the one that I've learned? Yeah. It's called BIM. What the fuck is BIM? It's an acronym. It's an acronym for B-I-M-M, Barf in My Mouth.

Really? Which is so acronym. It's an acronym for B-I-M-M barf in my mouth. Really? Which is so fun. Like not cool? Yeah, where it was like, dude, I just saw Evan set BIM. Hey, what the hell? You know what I mean? I like that a lot where I was just like, bro, that Chipotle BIM.

I've never heard that one. I know, but I like it. I thought I'd like, I mean, I know what like Cap is. Yeah. That's old. Yeah, it's old. But I'm like, I'm really glad I got in on Bim before it became. What else do you got at the rock climbing? Is there like rock climbing lingo?

Yeah, I mean, there's like ATC, Gris Gris, you know, there's all these. Send it. Send it. That's old. Yeah, everyone knows. Yeah, but that's like an action sports tournament. Yeah. You send things. Dude, nice send. Nice send. Send it That's old Yeah everyone knows Send it Yeah but that's like An action sports tournament Yeah You send things

Dude nice send Nice send What's ATC and Those are like Technical terms Those are just technical terms Oh okay Climbing gear yeah

Are you a climber too I am Really Yeah Yeah well you should You should get a new hobby I should Instead of just being a meathead

I know Fuck it sucks Mean A raw hamburger meathead I'm sure I'm smaller than both of you I know that's, it sucks. That's mean. A raw hamburger meathead. I'm sure I'm smaller than both of you. I know, that's the worst part. You work at a gym

and you're not even jacked. Yeah, no one thinks you're cool. That's a problem. I don't even think I'm cool. No, I thought you were so cool. Let's not collapse here in the middle. Yeah, this is the problem

with every podcast I do. Halfway through, I just go, does this podcast suck? They all do. Are we sucking? They all do. No, they don't. I think this is going great so far. We have a young man listening to us, and he hasn't laughed at all.

By force. He doesn't like anything we're saying. Can I propose a name for this group? It's Three Men With AIDS. Three Men With AIDS? Yes! Three Men With AIDS, dude. Oh, my God. This cannot. Dude, if you do not get to college off this, I'm going to be so upset.

I think you should send this in for your writing proposal. You should just blur his face and change his voice like a gang documentary. We'll say you started this podcast. You named it. This is your creative project you're working on. Yeah, three men with AIDS. You had this in your portfolio, yeah. Aiden, what's like top

top high school memory so far if you don't say I think we keep talking to the kid without a microphone Yeah I know I forget it He's the most interesting

one of all of us Evan what was your most memorable high school moment Oh dude I hated high school to be honest with you Were you a geek

I wasn't a geek I just was like I just didn't really like it and I didn't hang out with the cool guys you were just like it you were just like aiden i was diving and i was miserable the whole time and i didn't realize it uh and then college ruled what about you um you look like you look like high school was fun you look like high school was i know because it was i didn't hate high school by any means i hung out like we had this conversation way up here i hung out with like one kid in high school but still played sports still had fun i wasn't hanging out with the cool kids i wasn't drinking in high school

um damn nobody i was drinking with my like two i drank like probably two three times and then high school came and i turned into a fish or not high school college high school came again high school came again i just did it again cause like let's try one more time it's just like he keeps coming into high school yeah I did 21 Jump Street

even though the police told me I shouldn't do that yeah college was I had the most fun in college college ruled yeah college was the best

college was my downfall dude I had too much fun in high school I went to an all boy Catholic high school that's fun as hell and it was the best everyone was such a beauty

and the kids that weren't beauties were so incredibly weird that it was awesome. They were like, I'm not even mad at this guy. I just love that he's a little gorkus. Who was the weirdest guy? That's what happens when there's no ladies because you're not competing with anyone. Yeah, no one was competing over anything. It's just a boy strip. Yeah, you had really high self-confidence for no reason.

And then you met all these different kids that had different friend groups in different towns. So you could just kind of travel around and go to different parties and meet new chicks and do whatever you want. And you're drinking from sophomore year pretty heavy until... We were going into Boston at 17 with fake IDs trying to get into bars every weekend. That's fun. I didn't have a fake ID until I was in college. I didn't go to college, yeah. Where were you from? to Boston at like 17 with fake IDs, like trying to get into bars like every weekend. That's fun. I didn't have a fake ID until I was in college. I didn't go to college, yeah.

I was a- Where were you from? I was Illinois. Illinois? Yeah, it was 25 Sweatshirt Street. That was my address. I used my real home address. Why? Because it was easy to remember.

Yeah, we did. We got Colorado fakes because we were living in Iowa, and Colorado was like one of the last states to make it hard to make their ID fake. Yeah. So we used our regular dresses, too. Yeah, we used our regular dress. I was Kentucky, and then I was Minnesota. There you go.

Minnesota ones because we found someone that made, like, Minnesota had the really flexible ones, and so they're like, because you know your fake ID, you bend it, and you get that crease in it. There was always the guy that could fuck that snapped it. There was no plastic that could crease, or these Minnesota ones were golden. When I got so familiar at one of the bars in college, I would just start showing up with, and I was like 19, I would just start showing up with a David Ortiz baseball card,

and I would just hand it to him, and he'd go, that's hilarious, get in here. I did that with a Blue Eyes White Dragon Yu-Gi-Oh card. That's awesome. And the guy was like, I know you're of age because you wouldn't be trying this. And I was like, I'm 20. We had a convenience store right by where we

lived in college called Tags. You could show up with a picture of a game show. You could be Aiden. And we gave him our school IDs. It just said, hey, we're freshmen. And I'm like, yeah, here's your beer. Aiden's currently on Google Maps right now. Tags.

Tag. Okay. Hey, bro, not on the pod. That's why he doesn't have a microphone. No, he's messing around. Microphone. Please let him in the room. Sorry, he screamed the N-word.

It was insane. He has to go to Harvard or I'm going to kill myself live on camera. Dude, if Aiden does not become a successful jazz musician,'m gonna be pissed i'm gonna kill myself dude you're gonna do saxophone comedy oh what do you think about that terrible yeah that would don't do that he's just exhausting no no because he could just do a lot of sarcastic jokes like yeah i'm not hung over today i did I did see the coolest saxophone concert, though, of my life.

That was like a saxophone and a trumpet dueling in Steamboat. Dude, I bet this is just like a Two Friends concert. What was that? I'm just imagining Aiden doing the Schmiggeties.

Schmiggeties. It was at Schmiggeties, yeah. Def Jam style comedy where he's like, you ever see a fat bitch? Okay, cut that. Did you bring your instrument here? Damn. comedy where he's like, you ever see a fat bitch? Oh, okay. Cut that. Did you bring your instrument here?

Damn. I should have made you do it tonight. Do you think Nathan would have done if we convinced him to bring his saxophone on stage? I think he would. No. Do you think he'd do more time on kangaroos? That's mean. Nathan wants to do an hour of kangaroos. No, because then Nathan would have been like, I was having fun hanging out with these comics

and then they bullied me into playing my instrument on stage. It's called paying your dues. All right, AIDS? AIDS. No, he doesn't have to pay any dues. He's the smartest boy. I'm just kidding. I'm going to be asking to open for him in a Milwaukee dude.

Yeah, true. When the world collapses and he's a scientist slash... Scientist? He's going to be the last one. What makes you think he's going to be a scientist? He's going to go to Harvard. We're going to get him in. We are going to get him in.

He doesn't want to do anything with science, though. No, he's smart. Bro. Do you have an eidetic memory? Then you don't. I guess that's a no. He's like, do you have an eidetic memory? He's like, hi, I'm Aetic memory He's like Hi I'm Aiden

What's your name Yeah We're all laughing at you Because we all know What that means dude Fucking right You read something And you just know it

So like you can just recall it And visualize it Like what's his face from Like a photographic memory Yeah No He doesn't have a photographic memory Damn

Dude you'll be fine I mean you seem a smart kid You're smart enough to come and hang out with us. What are your grades like? Up in Wisconsin. You have a 4.0? Yeah. I'll say this, though.

Let me say this about the grading scale. As someone who used to teach. Yeah. These kids. What did you teach? I was teaching freshman English. Okay. These kids, all right, the grades don't mean the same thing they used to mean anymore.

No. A lot more kids got 4.0s. Some kids even have 4.5s. With AP classes and stuff? Yeah, with AP classes and everything. But I'll tell you what. It's just because the standards are so much lower. Not only that, but then you probably have a lot more parents being like,

they get pissed at the teachers. They're fucking intervening. It's a whole thing. Could you read? It's a whole thing. Kids to retake tests because that bothered the shit out of me. My brother started going to high school. They're like, yeah, I didn't do great, but they said I could retake it.

It's like, yeah. Well, what's the point? I think it's good to learn this stuff. Oh, it's good to learn this stuff. No, you have to retake it. You're just doing it to pass. Yeah. No, there should be. Yeah, you shouldn't have to retake it.

You should have to do extraneous work. That extra stuff if you want to get that back up. I agree with that. Yeah, but they don't do that. But just retaking it. I also think there's probably just a lot more resources for students these days, especially with the internet. Well, ChatGPT and writing papers now is... Oh, that's the best. I had multiple students try and use ChatGPT on me, and I failed them instantly.

I was just like, she was like, chat BBC. I had chat GBL and, uh, but yeah, I failed them. They were just like, why?

This is a good paper. I'm like, yeah, that's why I failed you. I know you didn't write it. How do you find, you're this dumb. I know.

Yeah. I know you did not write this. You're an idiot. Regis. You've been vaping in the back. Yeah. I know you did not write this. We used to.

Okay. Do you remember when vapes, like when weed vapes, like when we were in high school, were those big, chunky. Rigs. Yeah. Like had to like burn the weed to like. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. And now they're in jewel pots. Yeah. We had a kid who would take a big gulp cup and he'd put it in the big gulp cup and then he'd cut the straw short and he'd put the straw on top of the thing so it would look like he was drinking a big gulp, but then he would just blow a big cloud out in the middle and he's like they don't know we all know we all know ed you're sick as hell i don't know she doesn't know i'm vaping right now we're like we know yeah it's obvious it's cloudy in here it's crazy dude but yeah the the grades don't

really mean the same thing as they used to, which is disappointing because the kids, like our sweet Aiden, who put in the time and work and effort and have all the extracurriculars, now don't have the same access to the higher, higher institutions because it's all been watered down. One of the last few good ones. That's Alex's philosophy minute. Yeah, well, it's not philosophy. It's just true.

Brother, brother, I was in the system, okay? Yeah, you did your time. Brother, I did my time. How long were you in the system? I was in the system six months. I saw how the sausage was made. Yeah. He was in the shit.

That's long enough. You were deep. I was there every, oh, man, we had some fucking beauty. Other teachers. This one guy, his name was Rishi. Shout out to Rishi Ramnath. He'll love that I'm shouting him out. He used to rap.

He was a rapper. He's an Indian dude from Trinidad, right? Which is, they're a lot of Trinidad Indian people. And grew up in the Bronx, right? Been a teacher 25 years. And we're hanging out one day in the fucking teacher's lounge, getting our lesson plan together. And he's like, you know I used to rap, right?

I was like, nah, dude. He shows me shows me his video dude he was fucking going in and let me tell you he says the n word a lot it's like i'm like yo man this is crazy tiktok that i follow that are just indian guys who rent out studios and say the n word a bunch on rap songs it's the funniest thing bro indian rapping is i mean he went in dude he was a good rapper yeah i would also i used to do if we don't say it we're good right no i'm playing a video okay and we used to uh i like every thursday the the art teacher would give me a tarot reading which was really helping me to help me out you ever do tarot cards no i always wanted to go get like i don't believe in any of it, but I want someone to read my hand. Yeah, it's fun. Just tell me I'm going to die at age 50 or something.

Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, delete it. This video is no longer sponsored. No, we blew it. It's because they don't know English and they don't know what they do that. This video is no longer sponsored. No, I know. We blew it. It's because they don't know English and they don't know what they're saying. So people feed them lines and then they wrap it in the studio and they put it online. They don't have no idea. Okay.

Pretty exciting. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. They don't know what the word is? Pretty exciting. No, yeah. I don't think they know that it's like a... I guess.

I mean, that would happen to us. He looks like he's at the beach. No, he's in the middle of the street. That's just the guy who wanted to say it. He actually lives in Washington. Michael. You're a cool guy, man. You know, I try to be.

How'd you get so cool? I don't know. I don't think I'm that cool. That's what all cool guys say. I really don't. I couldn't agree more. I appreciate that.. That's what all cool guys say. I really don't. I couldn't agree more. I appreciate that. Evan, you're less cool than Michael.

I wouldn't argue with that. Cool grading right now. I feel like Aiden's the coolest. Aiden's one. Michael's two. No, you're two. No, dude. Michael's two.

Evan and I. Evan's 3A. The guy who's rating us is the coolest. Yeah. See what I'm doing, though? It's reverse psychology. Yeah, itB. The guy who's rating us is the coolest. Yeah. See what I'm doing, though? It's reverse psychology. Yeah, it's really sweet. Wow, Alec is so humble.

So humble. So humble for a headliner. It makes him so cool. Such a humble headliner. He thinks he's not even the coolest guy. Meanwhile, I'm plotting about how I can be cooler later. Do cool stuff. I think it's working.

I can't wait to say Menards 50 times on this set tonight just so people like me. Let's all cook his menards. Hey, Menards. Hey, everyone on three, say fuck Beloit. Yeah, dude, you said Madison instead of Beloit last night. I didn't want to fuck up the name, dude. Yeah, he asked me what it was, what, like nine times. What was that?

Beloin? Bologna. And then he gets up and he goes, what are you guys from? Madison? I was like, god damn it. I want to know if everyone in the crowd agrees with our Uber driver from last night. I want to hear what his thoughts were. Yeah, that was crazy.

Should we ask last night? Does anyone know this Uber driver? And they're like, probably. I pull up his name. There's a good chance he was in the audience or he might be in the audience. I'm going to pull it up. Oh, god. You'll smell him.

Last night, yeah. I might just be able to smell him. If anyone knows this guy, he's a huge racist. Every now and then throughout the day, Alec will just go, he's near. What did he smell like? He just smelled like unwashed. Unwashed corn chips. Yeah, just like BO mixed with dump, mixed with corn chips.

Yeah, it was just all those things. Corn chip. Well, you know his car is starting to smell like that then, too. So, you just can't get rid of it. I don't even want to know what that seat looks like. Bro, I mean, like, the seat takes up so much room, dude. He was pouring over the sides. He was essentially a puddle of a man.

I don't know how a seat don't come up held in hand. That's a kind of, like, Chet Hanks would have nothing to do with a guy like that. He'd say, that guy's a wad. Can't have it. Yeah, he's piles. Squad of my wad. He'd fit well on this podcast, though. He was more viscous than he was

solid. Viscous? That's a good word. It's an A-plus vocab word. Viscous is like a Latvian last name. Viscous Donchich? My name is Viscous Donchich. My name is Viscous Donchich. I am powerful. What do you think? He was pretty brutal.

Evan, what was your dream about last night? Oh, dude, there was a shooting, and my girlfriend was like, I'm scared. I'm going to throw up, what do you think he was pretty brutal Evan what was your dream about last night oh dude there was a shooting and my girlfriend was like I'm scared I'm gonna throw up and I was like you're not gonna throw up

and then she puked everywhere and then these two guys were in a gunfight on a motorcycle and one of them died and everyone cheered and then the police came to question us

so your girlfriend throws up and not shits when she's scared she doesn't we're not pukers we don't puke so that's how you knew it was a dream

that's how I knew it was a dream? That's how I knew I could calm down? Something's wrong. I was like, let's have a little fun with this one because we are in dreamland right now.

Bro, have you ever been able to control one of your dreams? No, as soon as I start to have, yeah, then I just, you're out.

Yeah. I have wicked, crazy dreams and like, I'm such a bad sleep talker. It's like out of control how bad I am at sleep talking. I used to sleep walk when I was overtired when I was younger, my parents said.

Like, I've left the house before. Yeah. That happens. I think you're a good sleep talker, Alec, because all night you were going, Evan, you're so funny, you're so tall. Really? Yeah. Oh, man.

You're so funny, you're so tall. Can I sleep over? Maybe he'll. He said, Evan, you're huge. He said, Michael, you're so cool. I like your pants. He's so cuffed. Aiden really loves you.

I only got one cuff right now today. Only one cuff. Oh, yeah. Only one. Man. I mean, I just, yeah, because now with every girl I hook up with, I have to ask, was I talking in my sleep last night? And usually they're like, yeah, but it's funny, which means I definitely said something very

rude or very concerning. And they're like, I don't want to. So you're like a loud talker then if they're noticing that. I don't think it's loud, but I think it's clear. It's clear and I'm like speaking. It's just I just don't get a good night's sleep when I sleep with another girl, dude, every time. Someone's in your bed and you're not used to having someone in your bed.

Oh my God, dude, it's so brutal. I used to like the bed just used to not be big enough and then you're like fucking Christ. Oh, that's, dude. It's so brutal. I used to like, the bed just used to not be big enough and then you're like, fucking Christ. Oh, that's the worst. It's so annoying. I mean, even like, I've lived with my girlfriend

for two years and I still sometimes I'm like, you gotta get out of this bed or I have to go like sleep on the couch. Yeah. I'm just terrible at sleep.

I don't like being touched when I sleep. I like, just give me my space. Let me spread out. Like, I need a king bed if I was gonna live with my girlfriend.

Yeah, Aiden, how do you A king bed and a wall in between. How do you like being spooned? What's Jenny like? No. Not Jenny?

No. I don't know why I'm yelling at you. Aiden sleeps face up in a coffin with the lid off. He's a vampire boy. He just sits up.

Aiden's been alive for thousands of years. That's true. He'll outlive all of us. He's going to murder one of us tonight for our namesake. What do you guys want to eat later? I don't know. Something good.

Something good. Should we go get steaks? I'm down. That kind of would be a maniac move right before. Where are we going to get steaks here? There's got to be like a steakhouse, right? It's Chris around here. Or in Janesville.

Yeah. Exactly. There's cattle up here. Dude, should we go to Chili's? Sure. Sure. Would that be awesome? Yeah.

Chili's. I'm down. Is there a Chili's? Look it up. What's around here? Yeah. Let's take a look. All right.

Where are we at on time? So, like I said, I'm... Yeah, let me do it. Oh, yeah. I just tore a hammy trying to do it. What are you doing? You're already looking to see how much time we've done? Yeah.

45 minutes. I just asked. Why are you... Dude, I'm enjoying my To see how much time we've done? 45 minutes I just asked Why are you Dude I'm enjoying my time On this podcast This is how Aiden Alright I mean

Fucking look Evan This is Listen as a headliner What you gotta do I don't appreciate this What you gotta do Can we next 15 minutes

You just give us advice What you Yeah here we go What you have to do Is go to these towns You do the podcast So you can You know They have a following Like Drink Wisconsin Is gonna say Wow Loved having here we go. What you have to do is go to these towns. You do the podcast so you can, you know,

they have a following like drink. Wisconsin is going to say, wow, loved having, um, big Al on the pod, hashtag big Al, hashtag big spoon.

And then, um, from there, right. All of the friends, fans from the fat chance podcast, leave the fat chance podcast. Come follow me on Instagram.

Three men with AIDS. The three men with AIDS. I got to tell the other two people I'm doing the show with, they're fired. They're fired. I ruined the entire Wisconsin comedy scene

in my wake. All right? You have to be in as, like, a fucking Icelandic Viking. I hear you. All right? Destroy, conquer. Rape, pillage.

Actually, don't. Cut that out. Don't pillage. Don't pillage. Don't pillage. No hear you. All right? Destroy, conquer. Rape, pillage. Actually, don't. Cut that out. Don't pillage. Don't pillage. No, no. Pillage, it's not good to steal from people. No. This is so bad, dude.

Aiden's not going to be able to go to college now. This sucks. No, he's going to go to Harvard. No, he'll be fine. All right, what do we got? What do we got for food? There's a chili that's a mile away. Whoa.

A mile away? Is there an Outback? Yeah, what else we got, dude? Outback Steakhouse a mile away. Whoa. A mile away? Is there an Outback? Yeah, what else we got, dude? Outback Steakhouse, dude. Outback. Just go on the map. Texas Roadhouse. We could get a Bloomin' Onion.

Similarly, you're sort of a Blooming Onion, if you think about it. There's an Outback, too? What do we have? All right. It's a lot of chains here. What's up? Cosmo Mexican Restaurant. Cosmo.

Texas Roadhouse. Oh. There we go. Should we hit the roadhouse? I've never beenel Texas Roadhouse Oh There we go Should we hit the roadhouse? I've never been to Texas Roadhouse I think we could get some steaks Yeah the cinnamon rolls From Texas Roadhouse

Are very good I actually I have the record For the one in Waukesha I had 25 at one time Wait what? Why are you not opening The conversation

Oh my god What the fuck So we're going to Buzzer beater Buzzer beater We have another hour to talk about We're going to Texas Roadhouse And we're going to We have another hour to talk about this podcast We're going to Texas Roadhouse and we're going to film another episode And you're just going to eat rolls Buzzer beater

That's what we should have got We should have got rolls before this and just had you eating them Wait you ate 21 cinnamon rolls? 25 So like a cinnamon roll No I think it's just rolls with cinnamon butter Yeah they're rolls with cinnamon butter. Bro, you had 25?

Do you think you could do that again tonight? Do you have the most massive, painful dump of the... Of course you would, because you're young and virile. If I did that, I would pass away. So do they have like a picture of you framed on the wall there? No, it was unofficial, but every time I go, I tell the waitress that, and she's like cool buddy so you don't know if you actually set the record or not okay okay i asked one of the um one

of the people that worked there what the record was and they told me like it was 21 or something i'm like all right uh i'm gonna have the official record in my mind so i don't know someone some beast could have gone in and had more than 25. Some huge Wisconsinite. I think anyone from Wisconsin could have done that. That's how you get crowned Miss Wisconsin. Dude, we are going to get you at least up to 15 tonight. Yeah.

Don't do it. Yeah, we're doing it. We're going to get him so old. We're doing it. I want him disgustingly sick going on stage. He is a widow maker. That would be a great introduction. He just ate 35 rolls

from Texas Roadhouse. He just gets up and he's like, he can't get a joke out. He's exhausted. Young comic and aspiring saxophonist in Iron Lung. We wheel him up the stage. He was rendered

paralyzed by the Texas Roadhouse cinnamon rolls. Bro, this is awesome. Yeah, I was rendered paralyzed by the Texas Roadhouse Cinnamon Roll. Bro, this is awesome. Yeah, I'm so excited. What other records do you unofficially have? Hugest wiener. Biggest dongus. Largest wienus. Hongest congus.

Hongest congus. I'm Hong Chinese. He's got a donkey Kong down there. He has the record for most Chinese-est. That one got me. Yeah, I'm good. The most Chinese-est. The most Chinese-est. Damn, that rules.

Dude, I love Chinese-est, especially extra toasty. Come on. Oh, man. All right, so is that it? Should we just end there? I think we nailed it. All right. So is that it? Should we just end there? I think we nailed it. All right.

Short pod. We're going to go to Texas Roadhouse. I'm hungry, dude. I could eat some fucking... We need to get these rolls. We got to get the rolls. I'm so excited now to watch you eat rolls. Oh, man. Any parting words?

Yeah. Guys, support this podcast. All right. The Fat Chance Podcast. Mike came to me. He gave me a hug before we did this, and he just said, and he held me closer than I really wanted to be.

I teared up. I teared up. No, not only teared up. It was more so. It's okay. You can admit it. It was more so like, dude, look. We're dying.

I don't really know what's happening. I'm kind of directionless right now. This podcast is everything I got, so if we could really just hit it hard with a lot of racist anti-semitic comments just stuff I can clip up and send to the church and lo and behold

a little boy from Milwaukee who had a dream to eat 25 cinnamon rolls saved us in the end we do have to find out what the limit before you die is. Well, we'll test that limit. We'll get there.

We'll get there. That limit will be tested, and we will find it. Where are you next? This will go out next week. Yeah, okay. So I am going to be in Houston, Texas, March 30th. And if you live in L.A., I have a show every Friday in Manhattan Beach called Beers on the Beach it's with the Friday Beers guys

and besides that April 11th and 10th I'll be in DC and Philadelphia so everything's on my website and if you like what you saw today follow me on Instagram

it's BigAlFlynn you're gonna see a lot of Evan content from the weekend we did a lot of pookie I saw that I laughed really fucking hard when I was going to get your t-shirts today

we had a nice time with that we did a lot of pookie content and it's good so yeah I mean Evan Evan what are you gonna plug I ain't gonna plug your back pain

yeah my back pain as I said I gotta plug my two bulging discs that plug? I have no plug. Your back pain? Yeah, my back pain. As Arsh said, I got to plug my two bulging discs that I have. I have to plug my butt. I have to plug my butt. With my own finger. With my own finger. I have to plug Aiden's butt with his own.

No. No. No. No. With one of the Roadhouse rolls. God damn it, dude. I don't have anything to plug. He's a minor.

We would get so close. He's a minor? We don't have to admit that. He's a minor. We would get so close. He's a minor? We don't have to admit that. What do you prospect for? I have nothing to plug. I just finished up six weeks on the road. I'm in Chicago for a little while. So follow me on Instagram at underscore Evan Hull underscore,

and we'll figure it out. Yeah, I'm at Big Al Flynn on Instagram, so check me out. All right, and what about Mike? Nothing.