Fat Chance Podcast - Can We Defeat a Kung Fu Master Ep.123

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Michael unknowingly challenged a Martial Arts Grandmaster. Jack gets sex tips from his Father in Law Judd plays hide and seek with the police. SPONSORED BY: Booze Better Supplements: Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)

Have you seen those videos where this is how you're supposed to pour a beer now? No, stop it. No one's ever fucking said that. That's left-wing AI shit. You're watching the woke media. Getting in your head. I think I got it. What was our game plan if the game started to go awry?

Cup of soup. Cup of soup. I just threw a fart. Is there a chair off the wall? Maybe. It was never attached to it. Yeah. How do you think a chair works? What do you mean, bro?

It just looks a little slanted. Well, it's because I'm leaning. Because my back still hurts. He's leaning because my my back's left you know dude he's very woke my back's been hurting for a whole month have you seen anyone for it um my wife's dad's a chiropractor have you seen him yeah and he looked at it was like yeah what do you need to do well it was like a slip disc so you can just kind of hope that inflammation goes away so that was the they're not like hey hey, do stretches, do anything else? Well, do stretches, but he's like,

wait until you're not in pain doing them. So, I have stuff that I can do. Did he say ice or heat? Ice. And then if I want to move around, I heat it up. I don't know. But we're feeling better. I just can't sit down for super long.

Yeah. So. Yeah, that's a rough one. That's a rough one. It's been interesting. Man. Here, I'm the old one of the pod, but you're the... Oh, my body has been falling apart.

You're too tall. I think that's what it is. Too tall, yeah. Michael? Michael, do you have any ailments? I'm four foot two. I'm good. What?

Other than your shitty pouring. Look at that. Yeah. That's the most head I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like I'm at the Kuski family reunion. Your family blows each other. Dude. That's super embarrassing.

That would be so sad if I were you. Want to come to this year's reunion? I don't want to watch you get blown. I'm not a family member. We do gas pass. Okay. They have the Olive Garden slogan. When you're there, you're family.

I was starting to think of something with breadsticks. I was like, what is there? Do you guys do family reunions? Do you guys? We used to. Every year we used to have a family picnic. It started with family that ended up just being the neighbors coming over. Everyone gets drunk.

Well, not really. They get drunk at the end. Like a bonfire. My family never drank a whole lot. I was afraid to drink. When I finally got to that age where I could have a beer beer um oh yeah even like before you could have a beer and your family's like go have one and you're like no honestly you don't want to answer the questions you're like yeah oh so you're having a nice cold one there it's like all right grandpa jim shut the fuck up yeah but at that point they'd

be they'd be happy you're just having a drink. But honestly, when you're that young, having one beer, most of the time, if you haven't drank them before, you're not going to like it. So you're going to have this beer. You're like, eh. And then you're not going to want to drink another one. But even like when you went to college and your parents knew you were drinking,

you came back and you did it. And then with the family thing, it's like, I felt just the judgment. If I just had one, they're like, what are you doing? It's like, I'm doing what you guys had a problem doing 20 years ago, but sorry, I'm a little better at it. In line today when I was getting alcohol, there was definitely someone underage with a fake

that was getting alcohol. Really? Because they were right in front of me and they were just fumbling with the card like oh sorry my card doesn't work like and then i had to like go through all this stuff and i'm like it seems sketchy and then as soon as like they get out i ordered or got mine went out and they just had the biggest grin on them and like someone stayed in the car and he gets in the car and just high-fives the dude. I'm like, yeah.

But you know what's going through their mind, too, is like, hey, we need booze for this weekend. Let's go on a Monday because they're not going to think we're going to be drinking on a Monday. Only adults get alcohol on a Monday. Let's go to Pick and Save because no one's actually going to card you a Pick and Save. They just don't care. They don't really check it or anything. They just need to see something for the cameras. That's definitely what went through their head.

I love watching underage people get booze because you were there once, and you're like, what did I look like? Was I this bad? We were definitely that bad. Do you want to play what did they get to drink? Probably Twisted Teas. No, that's a good guess. What was it?

Can we go hard alcohol or beer? It was beer and a bottle of something. It was a bottle of Svedka. Ooh, that's close. And... I mean, it's... Oh, Amsterdam. Is it New Amsterdam?

Yeah. Okay, that's probably... That's our brand. So Amsterdam, and then it's either White Claws or Happy Dad. No. High Noons? No. PBRs.

PBRs. PBRs. They're cheap. Yeah, they got a 30 rack alone. They're cheap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is PBR actually doing that 180 thing? Do you see that?

I saw that. I believe so. What's that? They're doing like a 180 pack or case. That's sick. There used to be. We should get that. Well, there used to be a.

We should get that. Just have it on the table. Our whole sponsorship check just right there. But they used to do the 99 beer thing, which is 99 beers, but it was stacked like this. Cancel. You couldn't even put it in a car. You had to get a truck

and put it like with one of those little flags at the end like when you have lump oversized load i had one of the worst like buying alcohol when i shouldn't be stories it's i in my hometown i'm picking up drinks because i'm going over to like all the guys are getting together um i looked the oldest in the group so i was like all right let's go and for the most part like there was this one gas station that would never ID and so I was like oh I want to go to that one and um I walk in I don't see the counter I don't look at the counter or anything I go and I get like 12 four locos and like a couple things of natty light and I just drop it on the counter and I look up and there is someone that was in my graduating high school class

looking at me dead in my face. And credit to Lexi, she looked at me and she goes, and just scans. We don't say a word because her and I weren't friends. And honestly, I don't think she liked me, but she like knew I was there her mission. She understood, yeah. She was like, hmm, and just scanned and let me go. I got in the car just sweating because of the shock of knowing the person

and then clearly knowing you were not supposed to be behind. It's not like she was going to report you. I remember one time my buddy was picking up alcohol and he was underage. He had a fake. He's in line and all of a sudden a cop walks in. Oh, it's so scary.

I was also going to grab one and I just put mine down and I walk out the store and I couldn't imagine how much Jake was just sweating. That happens. That's when you go and you buy like a lighter

and like this is all I was here for. Didn't actually need anything. It was just a quick... I think someone left this in the aisle. I'm such a good Samaritan. Do you guys have any lighters and bananas? I don't like this banana place. It's so spooky.

Like, that would be absolutely terrifying. But at that point, you can't divert. If you're in line already, you cannot get out of there. I don't think I had any, had any close calls or anything like that. I mean, I had a few times where they would be like, I've had someone say no, and they just let me leave. It was also scary. When you know your ID is not great, you're banking on that employee to be just cool. And so I was like, I was from Kentucky for my first ID, and it wasn't a great ID.

It looked like something you made you know at home but it worked the only time i ever got my d taken it was by a police officer and that's for underage drinking oh well did uh you ever i guess this is my question do you ever have to like run from a party or anything yeah kind of well i my uh my buddy through i let my buddy jake there was 19th birthday party at my college apartment he's a freshman i was a sophomore i was like just throw it here so you don't have to worry about doing anything in the dorms it's safer blah blah i go jake you can invite whoever you want and i'll invite my friends over and my tiny apartment it was two of these rooms it's not that big it got to a point where both our bathrooms were hot boxed and there were uh drugs found on the floor like a white powder

on the i thought it was coke it was ecstasy um yeah well we had a noise complaint people were puking off our balcony you're peeing every bodily fluid went off her balcony people um submitted a noise complaint cops came and knocked on the door like hey end this now um or so i was told i had left my party to go pee outside with my buddy because my bathrooms were occupied at the time and i came back and i saw three cops sitting at the door talking to my roommates. And I peek around the corner. My roommate looks at me and goes, fuck, dude. I go, good luck. And I turned around.

Both my roommates got underages and a noise violation. $600 worth of tickets for this party that they didn't throw. They just agreed to let have. And I got off scot-free, which I helped them obviously pay for it and they agreed to have the party but my favorite part was as it was ending they told my roommates hey everyone leaves in a single file line no one makes a noise if anyone says anything you'll get a ticket for each person here they can do that and madison was like five hundred dollars or a hundred some bucks for every person that's in a party. Yeah. They could do that.

I could have the number wrong. But the last person to leave was the birthday boy. And I'm not kidding. He looked at the cop and goes, suck my fat cock. And then walked out. And they go, so close. They're like, please don't, birthday boy. They're like, you don't, birthday boy. They're like, you're good.

End it. They searched the apartment for, like, anyone passed out, if anyone was safe. They missed the drugs on the floor. And they're just like, all right, enjoy the rest of your night. They were probably just hoping that people left. They probably weren't trying to slap, like, you guys with a bunch of shit. Because most of the time like noise complaints for the most part most like i've had or for people that have like told me about it because i've never actually

had like a situation like that they've always been like yeah the cops were actually pretty cool like they were just like i have to buy paper like on paper i have to at least write you up for underage or i have to give you like a noise complaint thing most time they are it's when you don't cooperate. And that's for, I think, most stops or anything like that. I told his parents this story when we graduated because I did an extra semester. And I was like, all right, we graduate at the same time. And his mom was mortified.

The one that said, suck my fat dick. Yeah. Oh, his mom. Yeah. Told his mom. I was like, it's past the statute of limitations, right? Yeah. No.

So he was fine. He graduated. He made it through. He had a good job. I told his mom. She was mortified. She offered me the $600 on the spot to pay for the tickets. Yeah, I would appreciate that.

Water under the bridge. We're good. I would appreciate that $600 right now. Thank you. I'll take that. I'm taking that to the bar, and I'm asking another cop to suck one time we were in the wisconsin dells at the wilderness resort and we had this cabin called cabin 17 and cabin 17 was crazy like a cabin it was just a bunch of of my college friends and we're all in one cabin and we found that,

I don't know how we found it, but the, the week before the Green Bay Packers were there and in that cabin, I don't know how we knew that, but we, we also found like claymate, um, condoms.

It was clay Matthews condoms, which was very funny in the cabin. Anyways. Oh, I wish you saved one of those. That'd be great to have in here. Not condoms. Pin it to the wall. Pin it to the wall.

We need decorations. Yeah, just drooping. No, in the package. We're not going to pin it. You're going to tell me you're going to put a fork through it? This house doesn't need condoms. I'm married. Can we cut that?

You're going to have to remind me. No, we'll keep it in. That's funny. We'll just edit it in post. So then we went, you do that all the time. We're like, cut cut that and then two minutes ago now we'll keep it in and i've already cut it out i have to think about it if it's worth it continue your story sorry so then we're at the wilderness and we got this badass cabin and we go

to like the water parks and we like are at the swim up bar we're all like just talking to chicks and trying to like come back we're having a party at our place come back you know it's like we're talking to anyone that's uh that's gonna be cool and want to have fun with us and we're like oh well we'll see who shows up you know we go back to our places and see who shows up. And all of a sudden, people just start fucking coming in vans. The security is dropping them off. They have shuttle services until midnight. So then the shuttles are dropping them off at the cabins. But after midnight, it's security that comes and picks you up.

So you're safe. But we're having a blast. We have people. playing beer pong we're doing we in the bathroom people are doing drugs and stuff and it was it was a crazy time i remember i didn't want these people stealing my 30 rack of bush light uh so i put one in the fireplace up the chimney i like shoved one a 30 rack or one beer a 30 rack it was a perfect hiding spot because i could just easily slide past and i just grab one and i keep going so you light the fire no we didn't light it's fucking a million people and it's so hot no one's lighting a fire but that would have been funny because you ever put a beer can in the fire and then the top

comes up and then it explodes? No. You've never done that? You've never put a soda can in the fire? No. You put a can in the fire and it heats up and then the top part extends and then which would have been hysterical if you put 30 of them up there and lit a fire. You'd hear me cry.

Anyways, so all of a sudden, it gets past midnight, and a couple of the people that are with us, some other friends were like, hey, we're having a party back at our place, too. Let's go there. So then they take the shuttle back. So it's me and a couple people left that are from actual cabin but there's like 30

people we do not know okay and someone who's doing drugs in the bathroom is just gone like they are not there there's no one driving under behind those eyes it is bad so they call security to come pick them up or when they think they're calling the shuttle because it's after midnight now so security comes and this person is puking in front of our lawn and then literally they're like are you okay this night we'll get you back to the place and apparently this person passes out in the van in the security's van and then they have to take them and and get them to the place they're under. They're 19 years old. We are all underage. We're 20s.

We're right before our 21st. We have no one there that's 21. And I remember the police coming and sealing off both exits. We're like, shit. Of like how to get out of there? Yeah, both exits were sealed off by cops and we're like shit they got us and i jump behind a dresser and i just literally just skinny man my way down a dresser and i sit there like and then i and i hear a cop coming up to check like the the room

and i pull my legs up so i'm just like this against a dresser, just skinning myself as much as I can, trying not to breathe or do anything. And he checks under the bed. He checks under the dresser, can't see my feet, doesn't look behind the dresser. It's where I am. It doesn't look behind there, and goes back down. I can hear everything.

And they stayed there. They made us dump out every single piece of alcohol we had. They stay there. They breathalyze everybody. Everyone, more police come to ticket everyone because it's like so many people. Yeah. And they stay there for five hours.

It's five in the morning. I literally cannot move. I don't know. Have't know if you ever like sucked one way and you like everything like your shoulder falls asleep yeah my entire body was asleep it was literally vibrating nothing i couldn't do anything i remember i remember how to like after the ordeal was on i couldn't move the dresser i was stuck i literally had to have get other people to move the dresser i did not get an underage nice and we get there and we're like so bummed it's five in the morning we're pissed off there's no alcohol i'm like fuck this is the worst thing ever and then i was like guys

i might have something to turn this around everyone's gone it's just the people that live there now and i was like guys just wait and i pull out the 30 rack of bush light from the fireplace oh my gosh it was like it was just like glowing it was amazing that's so good yeah that's so good i was i was hoping that's how the story was going to end. Speaking of drinking, drink Wisconsin brandy old-fashioned. That's just the brandy. You know what?

Well then, hell, we should get brandy old-fashioned, because they're the best to have a nice hot day. The drink Wisconsin brandy old-fashioned is the quickest old-fashioned in the West, East, North, South. And I don't know if they sell out of country, but that might be out of country.

Definitely out of country. Definitely the fastest out of country for sure. I would 100% agree with that. Would you agree with that? Would you agree with that? Absolutely. Fastest for sure. Okay. Also, they have vodka.

Brandy. More brandy. I bet. Good times. Empty your brandy that we drank. We drank this stuff. Yeah. And then also, they have some fun things that are going to be coming very soon. So be on the lookout for Drink Wisconsinbly.

Follow their Instagram. Follow all of them on social media. They have some fun stuff they're going to be unveiling this summer. Relatively soon, correct? That's what we've been told. What's the date today? Today is June 10th. I don't know if we can.

What is it, a ransom video? Are we going to put that? Are you going to look it up? No. Your story reminded me of something. And I don't want to tell it and have it wrong but i basically ran into like a kung fu master at a um like kind of like a wisconsin dells kind of thing once um the same thing is getting underages all right hang on what part of my story did you like oh yeah that does remind me

of something when you're like when you're like when you're at something like the wisconsin dells or like a campground and you kind of have free range just like run around it's like a resort you can kind of just run around um wherever especially now that they're they've expanded they have all these other things you can do there there was a a campground um warren's wisconsin um it's like a three bears lodge kind of thing every year i go camping with this family and when we were younger we would just like fuck around in the middle that's what you love to do just like hey break curfew go chase people throw water balloons into people's campers it was a great time i love doing it well we eventually found that there was this um park

ranger drive around in a golf cart and i'm like let's fuck with ranger steve just an old man and we were throwing water balloons at him um old like oddest shape man throwing water balloons at him like nerf guns or something like that shooting him at him and just we couldn't be out past dark and he would chase us and we'd get away for you know most of the time and eventually he caught us and then we're sitting in the back of this thing. Or someone caught us. We're like, hey, what's up with Ranger Steve? And the guy goes, you mean Lao Shifu Clark? Like, what are you talking about?

He goes, Lao Shifu Clark, or known as the Stomping Scorpion. He was a, like, three-time martial arts champion. Had, like, the world record for taking out three people in under 10 seconds kind of thing and he goes and you guys were throwing water balloons at him i would love to see ranger clark beat your ass whatever it is just bending these kids dude it's just like one kid after another just like poop poop poop i want to find because like i remember looking him up afterwards and being like oh my god this is legit they weren't fucking with us i can't find it now

so i don't know if i maybe i dreamt the whole thing but yeah i truthfully remember throwing water balloons at a guy and getting caught and the guy goes that guy would kill you in two seconds we end up becoming friends with him later. He's a very nice person. Lousy food clerk? The stopping scorpion. What's a great name? It's probably what was in your cup earlier.

Dude, that was gross. That was a centipede. I don't like that it was just one and it was in the corner. I can't leave anything there. You can't. What's in this couch? I don't know. It came from your place. I don't know. It came from your place. I don't know. These came from your place.

This did not come from. I forgot. This is all you. This is mine. Dang it. Are you guys ready to play the game? It's time to play the game. We're getting that down.

We'll cut that post. No, we keep that. We never cut anything. Do you guys know how to play... Yes. Absolutely. Incoherent. Yes.

You have heard of it. Yes. It's where they spell words in a way, and you have to say it faster and faster and faster until you eventually get the... Correct. Okay. So basically you have a word,

and it's incoherent, but if you say it over and over, it's like, oh, that's what that saying is. Do you know what that is? Okay, okay. Is it like a bunch of pictures? No, no, no. You'll have a saying,

and then you'll have to say it over and over, and then you finally... This sounds like a lot of editing for me. It's like if someone was trying to get you to say please, and they spelt out P-U-H... Po-E-E-Z. And then E-A-Z. Okay, okay, okayz okay okay okay police police police and then you'd be like okay that could also be police the way okay i was gonna say police but uh i'll hold up one and i'll give

you guys one so i i made a mistake on the last one where i gave you guys them and you guys looked ahead gotcha and you guys so i'm not when you look ahead this time so you'll get them both at the same time oh i want you i want you to i'm gonna hand them to you look ahead this time, so you'll get them both at the same time. Oh, we were doing it. So I want you to, I'm going to hand them to you upside down, and that's how you're going to take them until I say turn them up. Okay. Okay? All right, so this is one pass at the Kuski.

Don't look at it. This is- Are these both the same? They're all, yeah, they're both the same, and then I also have the same one as well. Well, I would hope. We're going to lose, Jack. Here's the answers. They're in red ink.

Put it down. We can see the letters. Did you see all of them? No, I didn't, but I really was tempted to. Put them down! We can see it. The temptation is getting to me too strong. Alright, here we go.

Ready and flip. You can look at it, Jack. This one's for you. The walk of fame. The walk of fame. The walk of fame. The walk of shame. That's correct.

The walk of shame is correct. That's good. The walk of shame Walk of shame. That's correct. Walk of shame. That's correct. That's good. Walk of shame is correct. My ear is like rattling. Because I just shouted the walk of shame. No, but it's been like that for a while. You've been on my right side every time. That's true.

Don't look at it. God, he's such a cheater. Redact one point from him. Don't even have any points. Minus one point for you. Okay. Ready? No. Okay. Ready? No.

Go. Doggy style. Doggy style. That is correct. Damn. Maybe I shouldn't say it out loud for you. I'm just keeping everything you're saying in my head. But honestly, saying it out loud.

Are you flipping them right side up? Because I'm doing it, and then I've got to flip them over every time. I'm, saying it out loud. Are you flipping them right side up? Because I'm doing it and then I've got to flip them over every time. I'm just flipping it this way. Yeah. I am too,

but then I always got to do. It might be upside down this time. Who knows? I don't know. Is that a new ring? Yeah, because I told you

how I almost got de-loved. So yeah, I have a rubber one now. All right. I like the brown. Yeah, I thought about it in the black so I didn't look so hauntingly pale. And flip.

Damn it. Don't do drugs. That is correct. You are good at these. You're good. Thanks. I think I'm pretty skilled at wood association games. Don't look at it.

I mean, honestly, I'm having trouble reading the first word. You see all those books out there on that shelf? Yeah, you are. All gens. You read. Yeah, the thing is I buy the books that don't have any of the words spelled right. So that's why I get pretty good at this. You're dyslexic as fuck, aren't you?

This is his game. Ready and flip. Delete El Mermaid. Delete El Mermaid. Delete El Mermaid. Delete, um... The Little Mermaid. That is correct.

Damn. Damn, you are... You are good. If I get one, I'll be impressed. I honestly don't think Kuski has even guessed one. He says it fast enough. He says it very fast. And he is minus one point because he cheated.

I need to cheat at this point. I think if I looked at it right now, I still wouldn't get it. One second. Are you showing this to the people? Yeah, I'm showing them mine. I like this beer. When the first sip I had, I was like, what the fuck? It's not too sweet, syrupy, tart.

It's enough. I could do two or three of those. All right. And flip. Fuck you. Call me daddy. Call me daddy. That is correct.

I'm getting worked right now. I just got one. I'll give you a head start. No, don't. No, don't. That's going to be worse when he wins on a head start. Yeah, that's true. Honestly, I was happy I flipped that one right side up the first time.

The little victories. My grandmother's calling me. Really? Yes, I was happy I flipped that one right side up the first time. Little victories. My grandmother's calling me. Really? Yes, I will not be answering. Sorry, Grandma, I love you. Ready and flip. I'll hike Peg Bus Hike and Hot Done High. I'll hike Peg Bus Hike and Hot Done High. I'll hike Peg Bus Hike and Hot done high. I'll hike peg bus hike and hot done high.

I'll hike peg bus hike and hot done high. I'll hike peg bus hike and hot done high. I'll I like big butts but I cannot lie.

Oh man. You guys ended at the same time. Oh you can give that to him. Okay. I think I started first. Yeah. But damn.

Look at that. I like big butts and I cannot lie. What's that one? That's a long one. That's tough to do. Well, good, because this is not a long one. Just like Claymates. Old pecker.

Old pecker. All right. Yep. I know this one. I would hope so. And flip. My milkshake. My milkshake's bringing all the boys to the yard.

That's good. That's a good one. What helped was the theme of the last one, too. Yeah. Now you're going to warm up, too. Now you know the game. Dubai. Well, I knew the game. I'm just warm up to it. Now you know the game. Well, I knew the game. I'm just not good at it.

You could just say you're warming up. You're learning the game. All right. Honesty is the best policy. Flip. These paws seed hoe. These hoes ain't loyal. These paws seed hoe.

These paws. These paws seed hoe. These paws. Despacito. Despacito. Despacito. Despac- Despac- Despacito. Despacito. Despacito. Despacito.

Despacito. Despacito. That is correct. Despacito. Oh, that's in Spanish. Shit. You didn't know this is bilingual? That's bullshit.

I got two of them, baby. I got three, but we tied on one for sure. Oh, yeah. I don't like that you're coming back. Oh, yeah. I don't like that you're coming back. You know what? That's why you got all of them.

You saw all the answers first. I've purposely not looked because it would make me cheat. I cannot say no to a good... Ready, flip. Do girls hung up. Do girls hung up. Two girls, one cup. That is correct. Yeah.

Now we're back, baby. Do girls sw hung up. Two girls, one cup. There you go. Now we're back, baby. Duke earls swung up. Duke earl. The Duke earl. Do you know one of them died? Yeah, she said sepsis. Well, I don't know if one of them died. One of our comedian friends has a joke about one of them dying,

and it's probably my favorite joke of his now. Brand new. I'm not going to ruin it, but... Who's joking it? Evan Pack. It's just the way he delivers it that it's great. I mean, the kid's like 12. Yeah.

Ready? Go. His sit-tiny-it. His sit-tiny-it. His sit-tiny-it. His sit-tiny-it. His-it-tiny-it. His-it-tiny-it. His-it-tiny-it! He's it. He's an idiot?

He's an idiot? He's-it-tiny-it. He's-it-tiny-it. He's-it-tiny-it. He ain't it. His-it-tiny-it. His-it-tiny-it. His-it-tiny-it. His-it-t. Hisitiniate. He ain't it. His. Hisitiniate. Hisitiniate. Hisitiniate.

Hisitiniate. Is it in yet? That is correct. Oh. It almost basically just smelled like it. Yeah. That one hurts. That one rolled off the tongue a little bit, Jack.

Well, yeah. I never know if they put it in or not. Say it often. I almost looked. Jen's got little fingers. I can't tell. All right, ready? Flip.

Keep it. I caught if rum I'm humma. I caught if rum I'm humma. I caught if rum I'm humma. I got it for my mama. I got it for my mama. I got it for my mama. I started saying it and you just tried to say what I was saying at the same time. Hoping it'd be a tie.

You were just reading it faster than he was. Well, that's what I was supposed to do is read it faster. I'm like, I don't need to say it faster. Just in case this is worse. I was hoping it came to me. Just randomly. In case this is stuff. You thought like this saying it all of a sudden your brain's going to switch on and say a different word.

This is not my game. We know. And flip. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. That is correct. Yeah, I didn't even... I got to hook. Well, honestly, if you get hits beginning, you go, all right.

Yeah, you're right. And then you see Grissomus. Grissomus is what really threw it away. Christmas is what really threw it away. These holes in oil. What? That's what I thought it was at first. He's peeking into.

It's beginning to look. And flip. Explosive diarrhea. He is so good at this. And be honest, I'm not playing anymore. I just put a timer on Jack. Get savant. Get explosive diarrhea was the answer. Man.

I'm good with my phonics. Is this what phonics is? I don't know. I think. You're hooked on it. This is so stupid. I thought phonics was that town in Arizona, but. That was good, too.

That's another good... Flip. Pinderidhundat. Pinderidhundat. Pinderidhundat. Been there, done that. That is correct. Damn.

Man, I'm not around to... I thought these would stump you way more. Was this the one you were showing? No, I mean, you were spot on 50%, but... I'm very thankful it didn't, because if it was me and me playing this game, we'd still be on two. I'm glad that we did this this week and not next week. Yeah.

All right, ready? And flip. Pumpkin pie. Who runs the world? Who runs the world, girls? That is correct. Of course you would. You always say stupid stuff like that, you simp.

Beyonce said that. Queen B. Last one here, boys. Can this be worth 25 points? Who? If Kuski gets it Jack has to drink a beer Shotgun a beer

Okay Ooh I think I might not get this one Alright Kuski should get this one And flip Pumpkin pie TikTok famous

TikTok famous That's correct! Pumpkin pie. TikTok famous. TikTok famous. That's correct! We didn't shake on it. I honestly, I thought you said it. I was like, oh, TikTok famous. So that's how it's supposed to work. You hear it and then you get what it's supposed to say. Yeah, that's what you say as fast as possible.

You want to hand me those? What does your job think when you're making these up at work? You're typing these up. Just using all of the ink and paper in the office, and they're just like, what are you doing? Got another game? Put it out. But then they read it, and they're like, this one says

Dick Doc. First of all, no one reads the stuff you print. I don't know. If I was waiting for the printer, like, oh, mine's next in the queue, I'd be like, what the hell is this? Yeah, I used to print out my stuff for my game at work, but I started to use so much colored ink that it was very clearly only coming from me printing stuff out. So now I just go to Office Max because I don't want anyone from work

knowing what I'm doing. I would rather have Dick Doc famous on it than have to see your dragons show up with health points. But that's why I had to cut them. Because I didn't want to use so much. Everyone had a sheet of paper. That's true. That would have been bad. So I had to cut them.

And you made them the perfect size to get camera capture. And then you guys to read it. Yeah. Because if it was like a really like a fortune cookie. Dick box thing. I was going to try to like. Cut it. No.

I kept my Helen Keller in last week, so. Oh, yeah. That was such a good game, too. That's such a good one. That one was so funny. Did Helen Keller say it? And I guarantee she didn't say any of that shit. I know she didn't say any of it.

How could you even tell what she was saying? I don't know. We'll have to cut it this week. Happy Father's Day to everyone out there. You guys doing anything fun for Father's Day? Going golfing. Book the tee time today, actually, because if you try and book a tee time for Father's Day,

probably by tomorrow they're gone. I mean, half of them were gone already. I went to Ironwood, and they're like 7 a.m. through 2 p.m. We're booked. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they get booked up fast for Father's Day. I'll be spending time with Jen's dad. And I'll probably see my grandpa.

But that's it. That'll be fun. Yeah, we'll see. He always does whitewater rafting or kayaking. With my back, I'm pretty... I'm not really feeling like going down rapids. Well, we got the analysis. Wait.

That's what that person told you waited out i could have easily said that you should go to like a pt or something like that i don't need to do that yes if it's if it it's been getting better if it doesn't get better if it's if it ever stops getting better i will not so weird that's the weirdest way to, you know, just like help something. If I don't see progression. Well, wait, I sit, I do my little stretches. I've got a stretch where I have to put my wiener on a pillow and I lay on my stomach and I hump the pillow

and it stretches my lower back and I clench my butt cheeks together yeah yeah that's a good one but the problem was is the person that was showing it to me is my wife's father and so he is on the guest bed in this house dry humping a pillow critiquing my form and i had to act serious the whole time but oh that looks it would be really good for my lower back as opposed to being what the fuck am I doing here having like your father-in-law be like you're not helping it right like this give me that pillow give me that pillow alright you gotta really use your hips he did do that

he did get me up off the bed and show me how I'm supposed to do it it legitimately happened and I had to be serious like I couldn't look him in the eye the whole day but he was being helpful and I gotta appreciate that

that is amazing I love that some guys could easily have been like this is what you have to do. He didn't need to show me, but he did. He leads by example. He wants me to get better. That's a good father. He wants me to get better.

I tuned into that at the wrong time. I got a text about Lao Shifu Clark. He died. Oh, man. I must have stomped on the wrong scorpion. Can you put a bug in memorial? I will. He died in 2021.

He's a sergeant in the United States Air Force. You were throwing water balloons at this guy. Probably shouldn't have brought that one. He's received 29 medals and ribbons during his military career. These are assholes. He was a technical sergeant um he's getting flashbacks like the chaps he's just freaking out he's in his little golf cart getting peppered um he was he had a great passion for the martial arts he was first introduced to martial arts in the 60s at age of eight and grew his interest into achieving grandmaster or i'm gonna butcher this but juan fa that ain't it but helen clark said that yeah helen clark helen keller um he donated his time training many students over a

long span of time um never expecting payment and he had a passion for training members of the military police and security force members serving as senior naval security forces force protection instructor over the years. We would have died. What was this guy's name? What was his real first name? What was his name?

Stephen B. Clark. Stephen B. Clark. Let's check. I think it's time. Can I have another one What am I doing We're going to pour one out for Laoshi Fu Clark Technical Sergeant of the United States Air Force

Cheers Steven Cheers to you Cheers to the stomping scorpion And then Play Couldn't catch a bunch of meddling kids Could ya

I will remember you And then just like show like his Face I tried putting all those edits into our video And did you see how slow and laggy our shit got I don't know what happened It was like you clip arted it It was like South Park animationed it Yeah it was very fun though

It was like South Park animation Yeah Well I did clip art it But I also put Pebble Beach was the course If you noticed that Alright No we're not done

What do you mean? We got 14 minutes We're at 40 minutes And 8 of that is us setting up the cameras Oh I thought we were at Jesus this is a terrible pour Why do you think We're at 40 minutes, and eight of that is us setting up the cameras. Oh. I thought we were at... Jesus, this is a terrible pour. Why do you think the one was better?

Can I have one of those presumptive finishes? But this is... Have you seen those videos where this is how you're supposed to pour a beer now? No, stop it. No one's ever fucking said that. Have you seen this? That's left-wing AI shit. You're watching the woke media.

Getting in your head. You said, I have a tendency to bring callbacks in that don't make sense to everyone else. Is this good for us? Honestly, great bit. Yeah, great bit. No, have you seen those videos, though? Of left-wing AI pouring beer? Yeah.

It's a robot. How does it even know how to pour beer? It ain't got no arms. Just a bunch of O'Douls. No, they said you should. It's probably some, you know. I'll debunk this. If you.

Stop doing that. Pour it in like this. All this foam that happens right here, that's what happens in your stomach, and that's why you feel bloated and you have all that gas in your stomach drinking beer. So if you do that first and then let the foam settle, then it's easier on the stomach. Well, once you're done pouring that, I will just give you this cup so you can let the— Did I say I agree? I just asked you.

You've seen this propaganda. Well, it looks like you agree. Now— I'm too—I You've seen this propaganda. Well, it looks like you agree. Now. I'm two. I don't have two hands. Okay. You do have two hands. You know who doesn't have two hands?

Helen Keller. T.W. B. Gordon. Anyways. He had two weapons attached to his shoulders. But also. He was a modern. We can get you a shaker. Let's put your beer in the shaker.

Honestly, just shake the beer a lot. I'll shake the can next time before I get it to you. Have you seen these new ways to pour your beer? Shake it up. All right, now we're done. No, I'm just kidding. We still got time. We got time.

We got so much sweet, sweet time with the boys. What do you guys want to talk about? Yeah, well, you tell us what you want to talk about. Well, we should probably talk about the golf outing. That's a good point. Remember when we said we were going to start with it? Yeah. Next week, we probably will.

Yeah, next week we'll start with it. Yeah, golf outing. Go for it. August 24th, Deer Track Golf Club in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. Come on. It's going to be a great time. Huh? I don't know which mic I had last week.

I was trying to fart on it. I know, but you do that a lot. One of these times, I'm just going to get that mic. We're talking about something important like the golf outing. Don't interrupt. No one listens this far. Do you want to listen to Jack fart in person? Come to the golf outing.

We'll be there golfing. We'll have prizes. We'll have fun. We'll have comedians. We'll have put-offs. We'll have long drive, short drive, all the things you get at a golf outing, plus beer, plus food, plus drink Wisconsin-bly, plus a bunch of other sponsors. I'll be barefoot.

You ever gone to a golf course and be like, man, I wish this was just mine for the day? Guess what it is. You buy into this tournament. You are benefiting two wonderful foundations, both the MS Society and the Bikosan Foundation. But you also are essentially reserving a spot to play in a golf course for 10 to 12 straight hours. We're going to feed you once. We're going to feed you once. We're going to give you a bunch of booze. You're going to have chances to win prizes, 50-50 raffle. There's competitions for your ego and just to make fun of your friends because

they're terrible at golf and connections to be made, fun to be had. We're going to be there. You're going to get roasted by four of our favorite comedians in the area. And then you're going to go home and you're going to tell everyone that you had a wonderful time and then next year you're going to do it again and the following year you're going to do it again and if not i'm going to kick your ass and i think charitable donations are tax write-offs don't quote me on that they are they 100 are that's why charities exist so if so if they Not for the charity Just for the write offs Just for us Money bags

We're not trying to help people We just want to write all this off Because we make a lot of money From this podcast We make a fuck load of money From this podcast We don't even need to be sitting here Talking to you peasants

But we are asking you to spend money So we can write this shit off We just want you to hang out with us Can they write off their reservation? Yes. So write off your reservation. They might be able to, yeah. I don't know the legality of that, but you also have the opportunity if you are looking for –

this is getting like real dirty now that we're just talking about write-offs and not benefiting people. But you do have the opportunity to directly donate to either one of the charities if you would like. You can either go to the MSSociety.com or the BeacosOnFoundation.com, and there are direct donations. You can sign up on both websites and come have fun. Meet us. We probably will have shoes on, but if you come and you're looking to see a sock. Pay me $20. I'll show you both feet and QR code right here.

I'll let you sniff it. Put the QR code right here in my hand. QR code right there. I don't wear shoes golfing, so you will be seeing my dirty soles. I love golfing barefoot. I did want to bring up farts, though, because I think I held in the most farts of my life yesterday. Okay.

Why? Did you have pizza? I don't't like like far i was on an airplane yesterday i flew back um one of the worst flight experiences in my life but i don't like farting on an airplane i don't want to be the guy that's just like reeking up your you know your section um have i tested one out realized i don't smell and just let them rip absolutely but I'd much rather crop dust the entire airport and then just kind of walk away cause they don't know it's me and just be like, Hey, suck it in kind of thing. Um, yesterday was a shit show. I was supposed to, I was supposed to golf with you yesterday.

Um, I had a flight at eight 30 in the morning, landed at 10 30. I was going to see Judd on the course. 45 minutes later, I woke up to a Judd on the course 45 minutes later. I woke up to a text that said, your flight is canceled. Here's $100. I go, go fuck yourself, Frontier. Looked for a flight.

The only flight they had available that day was to fly me into Denver, and then they're like, oh, we'll get you into Milwaukee at 10.30 then. I go, oh, we're fine. I'll just have a connection. Realized it is a 26 hour flight and they were going to fly me into denver let me stay there for a day and then fly me in today at 10 30

oh that ain't happening so i find a flight to chicago at six o'clock at night and then a bus right from chicago to milwaukee which sucks yeah for 160 bucks voucher you know still i'm still paying more money to yeah get home i get on the flight and i'm didn't book my bus ticket because i'm like you know what i'm gonna make sure this flight takes off flight takes off i land i book my bus ticket i land at seven o'clock bus is at 8 30 i go i got plenty of time until we get on the runway they go hey guys there's a bit of a traffic jam um it's going to be about 10 15 minutes before we get to our gate and i'm like okay i got plenty of time i can even grab some food because i haven't eaten all day 25 minutes goes by and go hey no update now someone is also in our gate i taxied for an hour and a half for an hour and a half on the runway had 20 minutes basically

to go from the newest part of o'hare airport to the oldest part in the rental agency obsidence and i get there and i'm like hey guys is this where coach was picks up and one of you goes yes and i look at another guy goes i don't think so so i go, guys, is this where Coach Bus picks up? And one of you goes, yes. And I look at another guy. He goes, I don't think so. So I go upstairs. I go, is this where Coach Bus picks up? He goes, yes. I go, where the fuck is it?

And then I leave and I try and find someone. And then I think I see a bus leave. And it's like at the time at 830. It wasn't a bus. And I finally look at a guy. I go, hey, man, where's the rental car place where Coach Bus picks up? He goes, oh, you need to go downstairs. Take a train and go to the rental car

place i wouldn't have made it either way then have to buy another bus ticket to get on a bus at 9 30 get home at 11 um didn't get into my bed until 12 15 at night and i was supposed to be home at 10.30. In the morning. But I held in so many farts, so many farts on that taxi that when I got off, I was like, I'm just going to let these loose. But I held in too many that it was just like little squeakers. I couldn't just get one of those big ones. You know, like when you first get a girlfriend and you're holding them in, he gets to your car and you just fucking let one loose thing. I was hoping for a few of those no my stomach was out to here and like rock fucking hard it sucked

see you next week cut that out Good.