Fat Chance Podcast - Do We Know You? Ep. 114
Episode Date: April 11, 2024Jacks fiance tastes their dogs pee. Michael addresses the haters. Judd learns to wrap a burrito. SPONSORED BY: @DrinkWisconsinbly & Drink Wisconsinbly Beverage Co. DW produces high-quality bev...erages at an approachable price, perfect for toasting all the people, places, and things that make our home state unlike any other place in the world. Find them near you https://www.wisconsibly.com/beverages/ Booze Better Supplements: Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)
Transcript
Discussion (0)
There are people who make a living off of literally stuffing their face with food.
Can you talk to our haters right now?
Kick rocks, you spare parts. No one wants to talk to you.
We get to drink in old-fashioned now.
Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do, brother.
Can I tell you something? Before I came in here, I was talking to the sweet baby girl out there.
She was sanding some items.
She finally stopped barking.
There's only one in that other one.
Again, we're doing the mystique.
Is there another one in there?
Okay, so grab the other one.
I was talking to her.
I was like, know like lady pooped
in the like near all like our cabinet stuff and then um she's like oh is that pee over there in
two points in the corner and like we have a tarp down and so there's just this like neon yellow
thing that's definitely pee they go yeah that's for sure pee. She goes, oh, I almost tasted it.
And I was like, wait, why did you almost taste it?
She goes, I didn't know what it was.
I thought something was leaking from the ceiling.
So I dipped my finger in it and smelled it.
No.
Smelled it.
That is, by the way, that is worse than me smelling the benches after a guy called me
and was like, I peed all over them.
Nope.
That is worse.
Nope, because you knew it was pee.
She didn't know it was pee.
Yeah, yeah.
That is, but I didn't put it in my fucking mouth.
She didn't put it in.
She said, I almost tasted it.
But the thought never went, I should lick the bench just to make sure it's pee.
She was worried that something chemically was leaking from our house.
And she still was like, I should put it in my mouth?
No, she was like.
Gee.
I can hear you, fuckers.
Yeah, she's not sanding.
She's just slowly moving her hand around
so she can listen to this.
That's still not worse than what you did, Koski.
Because you specifically knew it was pee.
I smelled one bench.
Hoping that it's pee.
No, praying it wasn't.
The best answer is pee.
Please be pee, please be pee.
No, if I didn't smell anything, then we're good. The guy was just fucking with me. Please be pee. Please be pee. No. If I didn't smell anything,
then we're good.
The guy was just
fucking with me.
Oh, yeah.
But there was no thought
about putting anything
in my mouth.
Dude, that's ridiculous
what you just did there.
I wish a camera could get
from my angle
of what he's doing
because I don't see the cup.
So he's just
pouring it into his lap.
It's wild.
Shut up.
This is like an ASMR show right now.
They hate that.
Remember when we chew into the microphones because we're idiots?
Also, that guy is fucking stupid.
Muck bangs are a thing, all right?
Yeah.
They're like, everyone hates when you eat into the microphone.
There are people who make a living off of literally stuffing their face with food.
Can you talk to our haters right now?
Kick rocks, you spare parts.
No one wants to talk to you.
Spare parts.
My sweet baby girl.
That is my favorite intel.
He calls them spare parts.
Oh, what'd she say?
About one of the clips.
It was not nice.
Wait, what happened?
She sent me a message on one of our clips
and it was us probably eating the peanut butter cookies yeah like hey you guys look disgusting
no i want to read i want to read it out loud because it was not why are you guys eating
talking it's so annoying i can see the food in your mouth and it's fucking disgusting
people hate it no some people hate there are a lot people. We're looking for the mukbang people now. No, we're not. We don't want mukbang.
We're not.
There are a select few people I don't mind watching food reviews on.
They eat and review it.
It's usually because they turn the mic off mid-chew.
Yeah, the dude that sits in his car.
How Kev eats.
Yeah, that's him.
He's great.
He's great, yeah.
I'm not a Keith Lee guy, but there's one guy I just found that he's reviewing this place
called Sushi Philadelphia or Philadelphia Bali or something like that.
These sushi rolls look so fucking good.
My mouth is watering.
I'm like, I just want sushi all day, every day.
Are you a big sushi guy?
I love sushi.
You like, I guess I should.
I like grocery sushi.
Yeah.
I like cold sushi probably
eats it before he gets to the fucking oh we've gone over this i get sushi to eat in the car on
the way home yeah and those calories don't count that's like eating if you make pasta and you eat
pasta straight from the pan those calories don't count until you put it in a bowl and then you sit
down and eat it those are the calories that count If you eat it in where you're making it, those don't count.
What's your favorite food?
Bread and butter.
Carbs and fats.
I regret asking. Just bread
and butter. That's your favorite thing.
If you don't like...
So that's like your bread and butter.
Made that joke already.
Well, it's better coming out of my mouth.
Maybe we should... Never mind.
Making the punchline a cold old-fashioned from Drink Wisconsin is very funny to me.
Like, all our punchlines just...
That'd be very funny
That's a good pour
And that's what
This is a damn good pour
This is a damn good old fashioned
Brand new old fashioned
Drink Wisconsin
But you can find it
In stores nearby
They're gonna have
Their vodka's out
Their brandy's out right now
Yeah
And there's a mystery thing
That's happening
That we're not allowed
To tell you
But it's cool
I like it
It's cool It's probably my favorite It's probably my favorite Of what's to come thing that's happening that we're not allowed to tell you, but it's cool. I like it.
It's cool.
It's probably my favorite.
It's probably my favorite of what's to come.
Of what's to come.
It's going to be a good time, and we're going to have a good time.
And Batman likes it.
Where can I find this?
Where can you find it? If I'm just hanging out in Milwaukee.
The corner pub?
Of the Deer District.
It's called Drink Wisconsinably.
That's right.
Drink Wisconsinably.
And next to Pfizer Forum, if you haven't seen it.
Yeah.
It's a double-up slushy versions of those.
You got slushy versions.
You ever wanted to have a good time and go see a show?
Multiple times, yeah.
Head on down to the corner bar of the Deer District.
And also, the Comedy Cabin in Janesville, Wisconsin, May 31st.
Oh, yeah.
We should probably start talking about that. We should probably start promoting. We're headlining the Comedy Cabin in Janesville, Wisconsin, May 31st. Oh, yeah. We should probably start talking about that.
We should probably start promoting.
We're headlining the Comedy Cabin.
Are you near Janesville on May 31st?
That's the date.
Do you have internet in Janesville?
May 31st.
Have you seen a podcast in Like Our Feet and want to see them live?
In Janesville?
In Janesville?
Just keep saying the keywords.
Janesville, May 31st comedy cabin booze comedy yeah that's gonna be white men so uh we're bringing it live do you
guys like that we're gonna be live in front of people with our shoes i can't fucking wait i'm
way happier to be live i know you going to be really mad at me probably.
I already am.
We are going to go step on you.
I'm going to step on you.
And you're going to be like, fuck, I'm so much funnier than Jack. And he just keeps stepping on me to say, I jerk off a lot.
That's what it's going to be.
We are going to go so rogue.
It is going to be amazing.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What was that, Batman?
Rogue?
Wintergreen 3 milligrams?
Two of them's fine.
We're just nonstop ad reads.
People aren't paying us.
Well, it's Bobo's, you know?
Bobo's!
I had a grape one before last week's episode.
Bobo's.
Strawberry? Those had to have come from Costco. 100% jelly. Bobos. Strawberry.
Those had to have come
100% jelly.
Bobos.
Is that what it says?
No peanut butter in it
whatsoever
unless you read
the ingredients.
But the only thing
PB stands for
pretty Bobo
and jelly.
Soft baked
peanut butter oat
crusted
with strawberry filling
What's your favorite food?
If you just ask him what his favorite food is
You definitely don't like peanut butter or spicy foods
So
I'm a big pasta guy
I like pasta
So carbs and fats
No no no I mean
Bread and butter
I would say it would be
Fried chicken I love
I love a good salmon
Ice cream Can I say a good salmon ice cream
can I say ice cream
ice cream you can say
but what would be
the number one
yeah you gave us
you hit a lot of spectrum
oh man
I haven't had dinner yet
I don't know if you noticed that
neither have I
there's some peanut butter
jellies from Bobo
Bobo brought us something
I don't know
probably
I'd say
I'd say pastas
because you can create your own.
Like do all the bunch of different ones.
What about you?
Italian food is great.
Anything that I can like slap some cheese on in all seriousness like is a big thing for me.
Bread and butter.
I love Asian food.
Yeah, I love Asian food.
But the thing is like you can't put cheese on Asian food.
No, you can't. So like if I'm just looking for like comfort food, is you can't put cheese on Asian food it doesn't work no you can't
so like
if I'm just looking
for comfort food
it has to have
some cheese on it
as I drink my
damn good
brand new old fashioned
on my DW glass
put some cheese on there
but I'd say probably
Mexican
just because
so that's your favorite
cuisine
is Mexican
no no
probably
give me like a
a really nice burrito
that'd be like
something that you can get
you can give me every day of the week and I'll eat it.
But favorite cuisine, Asian probably or Italian.
Mine's Asian or Mediterranean.
How good are you at rolling a burrito?
Pretty damn good.
It's pretty good.
I worked in a kitchen.
If you want me to roll your burrito, half the food is going to be outside the burrito.
I'm not good at it.
Honestly, it's not your fault.
It's the fact that you're not getting
big enough tortillas. Yeah, you need a good
tortilla. That's like, you need a
pliable tortilla. So the ones you get
they don't say that on the packaging.
Yeah, but it says
they don't sell it like that, no.
But it says it in the color. So if you're getting that
like mission tortilla, it's super
white, it looks kind of dry.
That's not a good tortilla.
That's going to break right away.
You know, the tortillas you get in a restaurant,
they're,
they're definitely bigger.
They kind of have,
they're thinner too.
They're thinner.
They,
but they almost have like,
the best way to start with almost like a greasy look to it.
Um,
those are the tortillas you want.
Like,
uh,
it's essentially like a,
uh,
Chipotle one,
Chipotle,
Chipotle burrito,
uh,
tortilla.
Like that's the tortilla you want.
You don't get that at your local chain grocery stores.
You need to go to a market or not where predominantly white people shop.
It's not your fault.
It's the tortilla's fault.
That's all you need to come away from this episode with.
All right.
I have fail food better.
I would let you roll my burrito any day.
Can you confirm?
With the right tortilla.
Fair enough.
Can you confirm his hat still has the tag on it?
Oh, it's even better for Roger Baseman.
It's spicy.
Like someone still has the tag on something,
and you're like, oh, you should take it off?
This is the one time I'm like, you should keep it on.
Keep it on.
Keep it on.
These and Off-Whites.
Are you trying to see if the cameras are on 14 minutes in?
14's not a bad guess.
What do you think?
12.
11.39.
I see 12 right there.
You fucking undercut me.
That says 12 right there.
Yeah, but I never start them at the same time.
But that's good deductive reasoning, unlike Dumbo over there.
I read the information there. I called him Dumbo, not you. Sorry, I was about to throw over there. I read the information there. I called
him Dumbo, not you.
I read it!
Dumbo.
Just taking offense.
I'm not that dumb!
Me read number, I read number out loud.
Number was from
computer.
You idiots want to play the game?
Remember when I thought four?
No, no, that was a different game.
Yeah, that was, yeah.
Last week.
Last week, we like reminiscing about good times with the boys, Josh.
Heaven forbid, I just like having a silly time.
All right, ooh, I need to.
Hey, if we can actually, like, film next week, should we do it?
Wait, like here?
Or there?
Here.
Oh, yeah, we can do it here.
We're just getting multiple in.
I thought we were doing it.
All right.
We need to have one.
We got to write some things down on paper
Can we just have one moment
Where we have to like go to the
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
We have a couple of those last week
From my memory
I think we've been through too much almost last week
And the week before
We should do an episode of It's Just That
That should be on the
That should be what the QR goes to.
No, the QR should not just give you free access to ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding content
because ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding content gets me fired.
No, no, no.
It's in trouble.
It's not behind the paywall.
It's just that video.
It's like, hey, the boys went too far.
Speaking of which, before you start the game i have recently this is you guys
are gonna have a field day with this one um i have recently showed both my father's and my mother's
cats cat tv and it has been one of the most entertaining things i've seen i think I ruined my dad's several hundred dollar TV.
I put on my cake, Dad.
Guinness is going to love this.
And he goes, okay.
Guinness is your cat's name?
Guinness, yeah.
That's a good name.
That's a really good name.
Yeah.
Guinness. Guinness.
So I put Cat TV on, and he is as special as we are.
Okay?
Something's missing.
Agile, ahead of the game.
He's a cussie.
He's a cussie.
And so I put it on, and he notices, and he goes right up.
He goes on the TV stand, and he just sits there like this and watches.
And about 15 minutes in, he goes, you know what?
It's time to attack.
And was rocking the TV closet.
You could see the lines from his claws going down the TV.
I am crying, laughing.
My dad's on the phone.
I think my son just ruined the TV.
Didn't do anything about it, though.
He goes, yeah, we'll stop him eventually.
I'm like, dude, when we go to an actual TV program,
it's going to look like the Wolverine got to this thing.
And so now I put it, when I leave, I put it on.
I came home today. Cat was I leave, I put it on.
I came home today.
Cat was still there.
I think it's like borderline abuse.
I think putting TV on for animals is pretty fucking wild.
But it's cat TV.
So it's just birds and squirrels. That's what I'm saying.
He loved it.
They need some enrichment.
No, I will enrich the dogs.
Yeah, but dogs are a lot easier to take outside.
If I...
You put the cat in a leash.
What would you rather me do?
Take my cat for a walk on a leash or just put the TV on for him?
Can I tell you something?
My neighbors next door, they have a cat named Snickers.
Let me tell you, Snickers...
Terrible name for a cat.
Snickers owns this block.
Snickers is an outdoor cat.
Just will show up on her doorstep talk shit to me
through my ring doorbell and run away and he'll talk shit to my dogs and he'll like walk promiscuously
down the street while my dogs are on a leash and they'll be barking at him hardcore sometimes
whiskers walks home with snickers walks home with a limp but that's because he's been having a good
time the night before he's a little hungover.
But your cat's in enrichment.
Throw them outside.
They'll come back.
They won't go outside.
They're pussies.
Yeah, they are.
They're cuskies.
I don't like this tagline he's got.
It's Cusky Long Island.
Hey, do you want me to make it Brand new old fashioned
Yeah I think you should
3, 2, 1
God damn it
I couldn't make it that fast
Do you think you can make it again
Do you think you can drink that
Really fast and make it again
Give me 5 minutes
Not the fastest brand new old fashioned
Can you
Let's do it at the same time then
Okay buddy
No no not right now She in a second Not the fastest brand new old thing. Let's do it at the same time, then. Okay, buddy.
No, no, not right now.
Just like... See you in a second.
See you at the bottom.
See how easy it is to convince him, I don't have to drink this now.
Did I ever tell you the silly thing we used to do in college?
Anyways.
Bad. Bad.
Bad Guinness.
We didn't have a spray.
Spray him with a bottle.
That'd be really good branding.
That's a great branding.
Beat him over the head with it.
We just came up with something.
And you know what it sprouted from get us
he tried to lead you into saying the branding
like literally that was the whole thing you're like like, oh, Brandy, Branding.
Yeah, we already got to that point.
No, I tried to get him to say racism again.
So, who's the dumb idiot now, John?
Koski.
So, what's that fun little thing you were doing?
That's not what I said at all.
We used to get beers, and my buddy used to set up beers within the party,
just around ledges on people's TVs and stuff, or on counters and stuff,
and then would come up to me and my friends.
We were just hanging out, and he would be like,
he goes, you guys see what I see?
And I'm like, what?
And he goes, you he was talking shit over there
and I'm like
what
yeah
you see those beers
over there
I think they're
talking shit
and we're like
what
are we gonna go
take care of that
or what
and that means
we would walk over
and just chug the beers
I love that
and I was like
it got us so hyped
it's such a dude thing, and it's amazing.
Because the beers were set up around the apartment.
Do you hear that?
And at first, you're like, what?
They're talking shit over there.
And you're like, who's talking shit?
And we look at it, and it's just like three bush lights.
It's so funny.
I love that.
Yeah, I think we ought to take care of those guys.
We're just constantly looking for bro moments, and that's a great one so funny. I love that. Yeah, I think we gotta take care of those guys. We're just constantly
looking for bro moments
and that's a great one.
I might start using that.
Yeah, dude, it's fun.
Guys are very easy to please
and it's just let the guys
go on their bro moments.
I mean, bromances
are such a thing.
Now, when we're out at the bar,
he will just buy them
and then be like,
to the bartender,
he'll pay,
he'll be like,
keep these here.
And then, yeah, it's bad, but it's fun.
Yeah.
I love that.
That's a good one.
That guy's a silly goose.
Yeah, he's very funny.
He also, I'm not going to say that on camera.
Back to what I was saying.
No, it wasn't that.
Anyways, you guys want to play the game?
Yeah, come on on hit me another one
it's time to play the game alright so this game
is going to be
movies
after this we do have to
figure out what
movie review we're doing
oh yeah
so
basically is it like a book club for us? sorry I didn't mean to interrupt movie we do have to figure out what movie review we're doing. So basically
Is it like a book club for us? Sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
Okay.
But basically I'm going to say an actor
and you're going to tell me
movies that they were in.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
And each time you get a point for that
but I have a secret title.
Secret title gets you five points
and ends the round. Is the secret title a real title have a secret title. Secret title gives you five points and ends the round.
Is the secret title a real title?
A real title. They were in.
Why is it a secret title?
Because I thought of that one right away.
Oh, so it's the first one you think of.
Oh, okay.
But you still get points
and you take turns, okay?
If we're like vaguely close,
can we get credit for it?
I think you should get the title
of a movie 100% correct. These are
movie stars that you will know. They're not like
anyone obscure, okay?
It's not like Britney Spears. Like Conor McGregor.
What's the movie? Roadhouse.
But yeah,
these are big movies. Alright, here we go.
I'll start with the first one.
Jack, you can start. Julia Roberts.
Pretty Woman. One point for Jack. I have no fucking clue. Jack, you can start. Julia Roberts. Pretty Woman.
One point for Jack.
I have no fucking clue.
Eat, Pray, Love?
That's one point for Krosky.
Fuck yeah.
Hook.
I think that she's in that.
I don't know.
She's Tinkerbell.
Okay.
Captain Hook.
No.
That's not a movie.
I don't know.
I got nothing.
Ocean's Eleven.
I'm going to be honest with you.
That is correct. I don't know. I got nothing. Ocean's Eleven. I'm going to be honest with you. That is correct. I don't know
what she looks like.
Jack?
Ocean's Ten.
Ocean's Ten? Incorrect.
Ocean's Nine.
Ocean's Twelve.
That is the secret movie. Jack wins five points
on that one.
I can move
twelve with the secret movie.
Wait. Is she in I can move 12 with the secret movie. What is Julia Roberts? Julia Roberts.
Wait.
Is she in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?
No.
Oh, my God.
Who is that lady?
You'll recognize her.
Yeah, no, I figured that out eventually, but, like, she's in the Traveling Pants.
No, she's not in Traveling Pants, you idiot.
What is she in? Eat, Pray, Lob, Dick Bag. Jack is up 9 traveling pants. No, she's not in traveling pants, you idiot. What is she in?
Eat, Pray, Love, Dickbag.
Jack is up 9-1.
Oh, cool.
Cool.
She's in Erin Brockovich.
Yeah, Erin Brockovich.
Pretty Woman nodding.
Pretty Woman's her most iconic role.
That's what I said.
I said that.
No, I said it.
I said Captain Hook.
Eat, Pray, Love.
He's a pretty woman.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Next actor is Tom Hanks.
Kuski will start.
Is it Sully?
He's in Sully.
Forrest Gump.
Forrest Gump.
Okay.
Kuski?
Toy Story.
Toy Story?
Cast Away.
Cast Away?
Toy Story 2.
That is the secret movie.
That's Toy Story 2.
Very good, Kuski.
These are not the versions he thought of.
That's so funny.
Kuski, you came back hard.
You are now up to 8 to 10.
So are we just doing it until someone gets the secret movie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the end of the round.
Did you see the pattern I was going with?
Toy Story 2?
Go with 3 and 4 next?
Leo is the next one.
Leonardo DiCaprio is the next one.
Jack?
Django Unchained.
Inception.
That is the secret movie.
Look at you!
Wow, Custy threw up the lead.
Now it's...
What did I say?
Don't call it a comeback?
13 to 11. 13 to 11.
13 to 11.
All right.
Next one is Tom Hardy.
Kuski, you are starting.
Batman.
Which one?
The Dark Knight Rises.
Mad Max Max Venom
Inception
Venom 2
Venom 2
That's a TV show um oh fuck um
um
uh
that's a movie
that's a TV show
I'll call him that
no um
Warrior
yeah
you call it a TV show
I mean if you
Peaky Blinders
yeah
that's what I
that's exactly what everyone's thinking
it's great
I'll call him
um
why am I
I said Warrior
Yeah you said Warrior
It's a movie
He's with Shia LaBeouf
It's about moonshining
I know exactly
What you're talking about
And I don't know
The name of it
Fuck
That's not the name of it. Fuck.
That's not the name of it. Shit.
That's not it either.
Tats.
Nope.
Wow.
We haven't gotten to the secret movie yet.
Dang it.
He's in another movie with Christopher Nolan.
He's in Inception.
He's in...
Batman.
Dark Knight Rises. And then he's in another one with Christopher Nolan, I believe. Iception. He's in Batman. Dark Knight Rises.
And then he's in another one
with Christopher Nolan,
I believe.
But,
I'm going to have to pass.
I honestly don't know.
I'm pretty frustrated about that.
Technically,
he's in the cut scene
of the last Spider-Man movie.
That's true.
I'll give you that, I guess.
Fuck you.
I mean...
Can I look...
I know the movie.
Can I look up the name?
No.
No.
You just gave me shit.
Like, can we be kind of close?
You haven't even given a guess.
I'll pass.
I'm passing, too.
What's the secret movie?
The secret movie is the movie that Jack cannot pick up.
Oh.
It's the one with Shia LaBeouf where he paints his back, right?
Or he tattoos his back?
No.
No?
He washes feet.
Shia LaBeouf washes feet.
Transformers?
No.
You both are wrong.
I don't think either of them are right.
No, it's where they're moonshiners.
They're moonshiners.
Yeah, and Shia LaBeouf goes to church and he washes his feet and he's in love with her.
Oh!
Criminals, Outbrothers.
Outlaw.
Oh, no.
It's like that.
No, I know exactly what this movie is.
Outsider?
No. No. Gunlaw. Gunlaw. Outlaw. Oh, no. It's like that. No, I know exactly what this movie is. Outsider? No, no.
Gunlaw.
Gunlaw.
Outlaw.
Outsider?
Nope.
Outslinger.
Nope.
Outsider.
Cusky's closer.
Gunlaw.
Ready for it?
Yeah.
No.
I know this movie.
I like this movie.
It's a good movie.
It's a good movie, yeah.
He gets his throat slashed and everything.
Yeah.
It's Law is the second part of it.
Gun.
Slinger.
Gun boy.
Cowboy.
Not the second part.
Outlaw.
In-law.
Ready?
Yeah.
Lawless.
Lawless.
Shit!
Can I get half points for that because I knew the movie.
I said it out loud.
Damn, that's kind of half points.
I like that movie.
I didn't think.
That's really good.
I completely forgot about the movie. I didn't think anyone else had seen that but me. No one knows about it. No one talks about it. It's a great movie. No, that's kind of your hat points. I like that movie. I didn't think... You know what? I completely forgot about the movie.
I didn't think anyone else had seen that but me.
No one knows about it. No one talks about it.
It's a great movie.
Since this actress got stabbed,
Reese...
Reese?
Witherspoon?
No, with a knife.
Alright, thank you very much.
I knew that's what he was doing.
The minute he goes, Reese, I go, oh, fuck.
All right.
Reese Witherspoon.
You're up.
Can we start the last one?
I don't know anything she's in.
Is she in?
No.
What's the movie with the pink?
First of all, Jack's up first.
Oh, Legally Blonde.
That's correct.
That's the secret movie, everybody.
Thank you.
Nothing.
I would have said Legally Blonde, too, with a prayer.
And with that, Jack pulls up one.
He pulls front.
He comes back.
He comes back.
This is a good race.
All right.
A little back and forth action.
This one is Paul Rudd.
Pucky.
Ant-Man.
He is an Ant-Man.
Ant-Man 2.
Friends.
I'll give it to you, I guess.
You said we could do TV shows.
Ant-Man 3.
Is there an Ant-Man 3?
Is there?
Avengers.
All right.
Okay.
Avengers Endgame.
Okay.
Meet the Fockers.
No.
No, Dinner for Schmucks, sorry.
Dinner for Schmucks.
Okay, okay.
One answer, please. Role models.
That's a role model.
I thought that was going to be the secret one.
Yeah.
What is
I'm trying to think
Judd
Judd
Judd
Paul Rudd
Paul Rudd
Do you have another one already
I've got a bunch
Really
I don't have a lot of Paul Rudd
Is Paul Rudd in
Oh Paul Rudd's in
40 Old Virgin
That's correct
Avengers Infinity War
That's what I said
Avengers
Yeah Oh Avengers Civil Avengers Avengers Civil War
Captain America Civil War
is he in Forgetting Sarah Marshall
yes he is
he's very funny
you said Dinner for Schmucks
that's a great movie by the way it's so funny You said Dinner for Schmucks? Yep.
That's a great movie, by the way.
It's so funny.
When I watched it, I was too young to do it.
Forgiveness or Marshall was still one of the fun movies. You need to watch those movies with a group of people.
That's when comedy thrives in a group.
You watch it by yourself, you're like, eh.
Paul Rudd.
For your origin.
End game part two.
I have a bad feeling.
That's not a thing.
I'm just kidding.
Don't put that down.
Looking at Judd's mic,
I have a bad feeling
his mic didn't record last week.
You ready?
Anchorman.
That is the secret movie, everybody.
Good.
Nice.
Thank you.
So you're up.
He's got to be up five now.
He's up four.
Oh.
Yeah.
Five.
There's a lot left. I'm excited. The Rock. Kuski. Oh. Yeah. Five. There's a lot left.
I'm excited.
The Rock.
Kuski.
Jumanji.
Jumanji 2.
Fast and Furious 8.
5 through 8, I think.
So which one are you going to say? Should we just say Fast and Furious counts?
Fast and Furious.
You say 5? And you can have another Fast and Furious. Let's just make it even say Fast and Furious counts Fast and Furious You say five
And you can have another
Fast and Furious
Let's just make it even
At Fast and Furious
Cause we're gonna go
One for one on each one
Yeah
Um
So I'm back up again
Yep
Um
Avalanche
Moana
Central Intelligence.
Skyscraper.
Damn, I was thinking about that one.
Why am I blanking?
Jack, what do you got?
What do you got now that I'm out of yours?
What's the one with the giant goop?
It's a big one.
It's one of the...
Oh, um...
The Tooth Fairy.
That's a good one.
The Mummy 2, I think, where he's a scorpion guy.
Is he really?
Yeah, he's a CGI scorpion.
So bad.
Interesting. I'm just picturing the movie because it's like so very clearly terribly designed and it looks nothing like him but kind of like is that dwayne
johnson like as you're watching like i think that's the rock and it's just like so poorly done
um fuck he's in everything how have we how am I blanking right now
and
what is
you are giddy with this one
it's very funny
it's very funny to me right now
and you'll see why
is this a popular movie
yeah it was
it was
that's time
that is time
do you guys want me to tell you
the scorpion king
no
the scorpion king
I wanted to do the other one and see if Cressy got to it tell you the scorpion king no the scorpion king I wanted to do the other one
and see if Cressy got to it
but yeah
the scorpion king
scorpion king
which is very funny
cause like
what's the scorpion king
so
after he did the mummy
shitily looked like
a terrible
video game character
yeah
they made his entire movie
off of that character
yeah
really
it's basically like
Conan the Barbarian
but it's Dwayne
is like a scorpion king guy.
Yeah, it's...
All right.
Bargo Robbie.
Cussie, you're starting.
Sweet baby Jesus.
Wolf of Wall Street.
Barbie.
I'm blanking on the name of the movie.
What does it start with?
What's it about?
It's with Will Smith and their gambling.
Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that the secret movie?
Okay, but can I have the point?
Yeah, I'll give you the point.
Cool.
I said lawless so many times in words.
And he said, Will Smith, but gambling.
And I said, he's with Shia LaBeouf.
He gets it.
Yeah, I'll give it to him because he's not going to get it.
Suicide Squad.
That is a pretty big movie.
Suicide Squad.
That's where I was going to go next.
Oh, yeah?
After the one you couldn't name?
All right, here we go.
Sorry, I had one thought and I stuck with it.
Ryan Reynolds.
And because he's down, Custy goes first.
Deadpool.
Deadpool 2.
Deadpool 3 is not out, but I'm going to say The Proposal.
That's a good one.
Benny White's in that one.
Sandy B.
What's the one about that being at Shenanigans
where he's like a server there?
Do you know that one?
I do know that one.
Is it the secret one?
It's the secret one.
Could be the secret one.
What's the Shenanigans?
Is it a rom-com?
I don't know, but I just remember him being the main server.
And he was like, just so you know, you have to do this.
And then they rubbed their peeves.
It's where the goat came from.
The goat.
And the bat wing.
Where you have to show people your...
Your balls.
Oh, I have an idea.
Do you pass?
Something, I don't know, some service industry related.
Van Wilder?
Van Wilder is so good.
I'm right.
That's the secret movie.
It's also National Lampoon's Van Wilder.
My movie is a secret movie.
That sucks.
Did you say the proposal already?
Yeah.
It hasn't come out. If hasn't come out yet, but if. No, National Lampoon hasn't come up.
If hasn't come up yet, but if.
No, it hasn't come up.
He can have the point.
Okay.
He wants me to win.
You're so far behind.
Yeah.
Is it, what's the, he's in its, is it like the, not Try Guy?
Fall Guy. Fall Guy Fall Guy
that's it
no
not Fall Guy
where he's in like a
simulation
Free Guy
Free Guy
um
I can tell you right now
the movie that Jack
is thinking about
is the
is the one
is the one
is it a romcom
no I think
it's just like a
it's Justin like a cop.
Justin Long is in it.
What's the...
Luis Gomez is in it.
Yeah, that's the guy that...
Justin Long's in it.
Oh, is it...
It's like a service industry.
It's like a joke like that.
Is it a service industry?
It's not the Harmon Institute of Technology, that movie?
No, that's a funny movie. What is that movie's name, though? Walrus. Accept Technology, that movie.
What's that?
That's a funny movie.
What is that movie's name, though?
Walrus. Accepted.
Accepted, that's it.
Ryan Reynolds is not in there.
Yeah, but that's why I think Justin Long, I think, accepted.
Or Tusk.
Tusk is very funny.
All right, let's go.
It's Waiting.
Damn it!
Now what do I got now?
Last one.
One of the Chris's.
Chris Pine.
Wonder Woman.
Sorry.
That's good. Don't you worry, darling.
Transformers.
Isn't he in Transformers?
I don't think so, but I accidentally gave you the point.
Yeah, okay.
No, sorry.
Chris Pine is also in Star Trek.
Star Trek.
He also dated Fergie, so Black Eyed Peas.
He dated Fergie?
No.
No, again.
Dumel.
That's the wrong dude.
That's the wrong dude.
They look so similar.
This is Chris Pine.
You're not wrong.
I'm not wrong there.
Okay, that's a...
He also gets a different justify.
Oh, what a Chris Pine.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, do it. Are you going to make a brand new fashion? was justified or crisp the
yet do it
it may be a great
done
also
there is a problem is that it is more
uh... more. It's $140.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't know I was looking literally where you were writing it. But I did not read it.
I'm sorry. Who's the guy again?
Chris Pine.
Oh, um...
Wonder Woman 2. No, what's the
one with Florence Pugh?
What's the one with Florence Pugh? Don't worry, darling.
Don't worry, darling. That's what I just said.
You did?
Yeah.
That's what I was hoping.
I was hoping Jed was going for the controversy.
Yeah.
He was not.
There's another Star Trek 2, Into the Darkness.
You won.
Just give us the answer.
Princess Diaries 2.
But not Princess Diaries 1?
Is he not in that one? Princess Diaries 2? Is he in 1? I don't know. He's in Princess Diaries 2. But not Princess Diaries 1? Is he not in that one? Princess Diaries 2?
Is he in 1?
I don't know.
He's in Princess Diaries 2?
Yeah, he's in Princess Diaries 2.
No way.
Pretty loud, right?
I want to look that up right now.
Do you guys have...
Jack won.
Yeah, obviously.
I won last week's game.
Acting like it's the same day.
Do you guys get the thing where you see someone familiar in a movie and you're like, I got to go find out what else they are? Oh, he's the same day. Do you guys get the thing where you see someone familiar in a movie
and you're like, I got to go find out what else they are?
Oh, he's the main prince.
Holy shit.
And now he looks like a Botoxed up woman.
Look at this guy.
Yeah, look at this guy.
So does Zac Efron.
But would you be upset if you look like that?
Yeah.
Would you?
I do look like that, don't I?
Here's a question.
Here's a question.
How many celebrities, if they weren't celebrities would be the most basic people on this planet
That's what Paul Rudd is right?
That's true he does age well, where's dad pooping
Bucket for buddy, he's off the show
That's what we have the ice bucket for, buddy.
When do we tell him he's off the show?
Let's wait.
Let's wait.
Wait until after the call.
Like, hey, Judd, we want to do 10.
One night, if you give us 10 games,
I think we can figure out how to do a game after that.
Yeah, we just give us... How about we just do a game workshop with the guy?
We could.
You look really dim over there.
Dim? Yeah. No, it's's gonna be all right well we'll
figure i'm i'm on a dark blue couch i'm in a black shirt it's all right i'm gonna cut this part out
20 something days at this point isn't that crazy that's 20 days this week's
you married in over 30 days.
Not that, like, that's that much of a difference. No, it's, well, because when this one comes out.
Or are you getting married before you go?
No, when this one comes out, it'll be April 11th.
Yeah.
And I get married one, two, three, the three weeks from that, the Friday after that.
Yeah, so just over 20 days.
I really wish, like, I actually feel,
I wanted to go so fucking bad.
We'd be a bear.
We'd be sloppy.
It'd be so fun.
We'd be sloppy.
Well, we'll just, like, if Judd gets married, we'll go.
Judd's going to get married.
He's going to be such a sweet young man.
Is he, though?
Sweet, older than us man, but still young.
He's basically dead at this point. He's such a sweet young man. Is he, though? Sweet, older than us man, but still young. He's basically dead at this point.
He's not dead.
You only die when you get married.
So you're close to death.
I'm very close.
You think things are going to change when you get married?
Like, when you get back?
Is it going to feel weird?
No.
Is it going to feel different?
No, I just feel like I'm going to do a lot more things than I'm contractually obligated to do,
otherwise I lose a lot of money.
So it makes it a little bit different.
Yeah, I feel like it doesn't sound fun.
I'm excited, but it's going to be...
After that, it's like a whole extra level of stress on that bad boy.
We're talking about how I'm getting married
in just a little bit over 20 days by the time this episode comes out.
Congrats.
That's fun.
What I do want to talk about is two things.
Not marriage.
Number one, I thought of a very funny bit of me just falling on all those plants over there
and going back, guys, I fell!
It's just me all white.
Covered in paint.
Because they're painting outside.
Number two, you have your
ball scraper.
Yes, I wanted to bring this up too. Do you shave your balls
downstairs? No, it's my neck shaver.
Those hairs were pretty short.
My neck hair doesn't get very long.
This is the longest I've been in a long time.
Let me see your neck.
That's not been shaved
Hey does the beard
Does the beard match the farm
I have not been down there to use it
In approximately three weeks
Have you been down here to use it
This is much shorter
Which would mean
No because I don't use that
But like why are we just leaving it out
Probably because the last time
Why do you shave your beard downstairs?
Wait, wait, what?
Because she gets mad because I leave hair.
Shave my beard downstairs?
He means downstairs in the house.
In the house, not like...
No, I haven't touched this thing once.
Do you know how long it is?
It's to my fucking...
You're not using that one?
Yes, yes.
It's tucked into my socks right now.
I was talking the metaphor.
I should have just let you hit it.
I was like, Judd's an idiot.
Let me explain it.
And that's my fault.
I should know you're smart.
I've played your games.
Man.
Those aren't for my balls.
All right. That's fair fair That's what he says
But we're talking about marriage
After words I don't share my balls ever
Yeah aren't you bummed we can't go to the wedding
Sure
What answer do you want me to say
Yeah I'm really sad
Wish I could go watch
One of my friends get married
Yeah but it's not like we're not going to see him after he gets married.
I know, but weddings are so fun.
Weddings are so fun.
And if we're going to Mexico and we don't know half the people,
so we have no social obligation.
We can pretend we don't know you until the day of the wedding.
We could crash it.
We have no social obligation to anyone but those two. And they don't want to talk to us, so you and I could just have the time of the wedding. We could crash it. We have no social obligation to anyone but those two.
And they don't want to talk to us,
so you and I could just have the time of our fucking lives.
Yeah, but as soon as G sees us...
She's going to be like, get away.
Yeah, before...
Because she will see us before the wedding
because we're going to be at the swim up bar.
I'm going to live at the swim up bar.
Yeah.
Love a good swim up bar.
And as soon as G tries to enjoy her wedding and sees us,
it is no longer enjoying her wedding.
And why do we want to ruin that sweet time?
You know what would be awesome?
If we walked up to her with microphones and said, hey, we need to record this.
Can we mic up Jack real quick?
We need to get this footage.
Can we just put two lapels on you real quick?
And you and Judd are walking through with cams just like.
Jack's mild.
This looks terrible.
Oh, man.
That'd be a really good giggle.
Guys, buy the Patreon.
Pay for our flights to Gruncheck's wedding.
Gajan America just bought our Patreon.
Why can't you?
That was his name, Gajan America.
Do you think he's like, his name's Gary and he's Asian?
Yeah.
That was it.
Yeah.
I think, you know what, let's just drop one letter.
No, dude.
Cut it.
Cut it.
Cut it.
His name's really Gary America.
And he's Asian.
Dumb idiots.
These dumb people.
We should make a game for Judd.
And it's going to be so complex, he'll never keep up.
Mathematics.
Two plus two.
We're so many steps ahead, Judd.
All you can do is hope to keep up, buddy.
What would our game be?
That's what we have to figure out here.
We'll figure out here.
We'll figure it out.
All the faith in the world.
I don't think we give up.
You're starting so well.
You're like, we got a game for you.
And then Custy's like, what's your game? And Jack's like, oh, once we figure it out.
Oh, my God.
We're plotting.
Just scheme it over.
The game's going to be so good when we come up with it.
I think we just give him food.
Once we think of a game, just any game, and then we just give him food challenges.
Yeah.
That's fun.
Which really sucks because he goes, I hate this.
And then we're just going, whoa.
The peanut butter and jelly thing was wild.
That was a surprise.
Yeah, it was wild.
That should be something you bring up the first, second day of meeting a person.
Never had a peanut butter and jelly.
Multiple people have messaged me, even on my comments to that video of me eating peanut butter.
It was like, I'm going to send you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until you eat them uncrustable every single day.
And that's a person I've known for 30 years.
I want to bring you a peanut butter and jelly. I want to bring you a peanut butter and jelly.
I wanted to bring you a peanut butter and jelly so bad.
Just force you to eat it.
I mean, that's a cookie, but yeah.
It's close enough.
Yeah, basically I had one.
No, it doesn't count.
Okay.
The fact that he still ate one and then you said no to eating one means you're a bitch.
The worst thing. But guess who still ate one? you're a bitch. The worst thing...
But guess who still ate one?
I pushed through adversity.
Also, you thought that was coming fast?
Imagine how fast the fastballs
that you're going to try to swing at are going to come.
You're not going to hit the strike zone.
They're way more aerodynamic.
I'm not going to hit the strike zone?
Just hit him in the thigh.
You're not going to swing?
Is that what it is?
Nope.
I'll catch. That'd be great. Okay. Just hit him in the thigh. What, you're not going to swing? Is that what it is? No. Just bunt.
I'm so scared.
Just bunt.
I'll catch.
That would be great.
Can we please do this?
We can do that.
Yeah.
I'm okay with that.
But I told him, I said, you can pitch at me, and I'll let you hit me with one pitch.
I'm not going to hit you.
I'll let you hit me with one pitch.
Please.
No, I'm not going to hit you.
But I get to suit you up in extra padding as a lacrosse goalie,
and I get a rifle on my heel. It's going to be more satisfying to strike you out.
Yeah, it's way better to just...
What if I just drill you in the face with a lacrosse ball?
So I used to drill...
But he can wear a helmet.
I used to...
It does not hurt when you're wearing a helmet.
He's going down.
I used to hit my friend.
I used to hit my friend.
He was on another team.
That's not nice.
He used to hit my friend. I used to hit my friend. He was on another team. That's not nice.
He used to... They sucked.
I could...
I literally never lost him
any time I was pitching.
So, Fish, have you heard...
Fish?
Fuck you, Fish.
I loved hitting you.
It was great.
Swim away, motherfucker.
So, he would used to,
at games,
my little sister would be in the crowd.
He used to take...
He'd go,
Judd! He used to blow kisses to would be in the crowd. He used to take... He'd go, Judd!
He used to blow kisses to my sister
in the crowd.
I'm on Fish's side right now.
And then I'm like, alright.
And I would just drill him.
And he goes, that's all I got on base.
He loved it.
But one time his coach gave him
the bunt sign.
And he already...
He professed his love. So he has to turn to square to bunt sign. And he already he already professed his love.
So he has to
turn to square to bunt knowing
that a ball is going to be straight at him.
At his heart. So he gets drilled right
in the chest. If only it was concave.
Just literally got drilled right in the chest
with the fastball. And
he was bunting.
So he got hit. And
when you bunt, you have to pull it back if you don't want to,
to swing.
So he got hit and thought he got to go first base,
but the umpire was like, nope, you still tried to bunt.
You're coming back, buddy.
So he comes back to box, and he knows he's going to get hit again.
I drill him, Like just upper shoulder
Like kind of neck area
Oh man
He was not happy
You're fucked
You're so fucked
Hitting someone
Wait hold on
Can you do an at bat too?
Hitting someone once is very funny
But hitting someone twice
In one at bat
Oh man
It's nothing like it
I'm wearing one of those
McDavid rib cages when we do this.
You're getting fucked up.
I'm not going to.
You're not going to get hit.
Do I get a helmet?
Yeah, I'll give you a helmet.
You're not going to get hit.
Hit him.
You're not going to get hit.
Hit him.
What if I dress up like your sister and he blows a kiss at me?
You should do the hot dog challenge while I get hit with baseballs.
Honestly, that's pretty funny.
I'm getting hit with baseballs.
Jack's on rollerblades like, I'm almost done, guys.
How many hot dogs can Jack eat before Kuski hits one baseball?
Two hot dogs.
There's no way.
What would you consider as a hit?
Does a foul tip hit?
Does that count? No. No, that's a tick hit? Does a foul tip hit? Does that count?
No.
No, that's a tick.
That's a foul tip.
But what if it's just...
You have to get on base.
You're saying a foul tip.
Do I need to be on base?
Or can I just...
Can it be a little dinker into the...
A dinker in play works.
You're not going to hit one, dude.
Are you kidding me?
When's the last time you...
I played tee ball for two years.
And you struck out on the tee just like I did.
That's why I haven't signed up.
I got a warning from my father, and then I still hit the ball.
That's even worse.
You were worse than I was.
My dad wasn't the coach.
But you still struck out.
Yeah.
I didn't strike out.
You know how hard it is for a dad to go.
I have never struck out in my life.
Okay.
All right.
Cool.
Hit him. Let's do it. Do you know... The more you talk, the more I want to hit out in my life. Okay. All right. Cool. Hit him.
Do you know?
The more he talks, the more I want to hit him.
Real quick.
How bad would you feel if I hit the first pitch?
You won't.
You won't.
I already know you won't.
Just the long shot.
I hit the first pitch.
How bad would you feel?
Would you quit playing baseball?
All right. Sure, sure, yeah.
Good question here.
Quick question.
I'm giving you good – I'm giving you, like, more probability in this than I do.
If I hit the first pitch that I swing at.
No.
You swing at?
Fine.
If I hit the first pitch.
And it has to be a good pitch.
Okay.
They're all good pitches.
So he's lacrosse. You are baseball. I hit the first pitch. And it has to be a good pitch. Okay. They're all good pitches. So he's lacrosse.
You are baseball.
I'm football or hockey.
I think Kuski has a better chance of beating me in a one-on-one drill
than he has of hitting your fucking ball.
Oh, there's no chance I'll hit this baseball.
No.
There's no way.
There's not a chance I'll hit this baseball.
He also sees how I swing in golf, and I see how he swings in golf.
It's like a very smooth, controlled swing.
Him?
And I'm just like, yeah, him.
And me in golf is just like an actual baseball player,
like what I need to do.
Judding golf, if the course is in front of you,
he's aiming at the parking lot and hopes it'll come back.
What do you mean hopes?
I do that too.
It does. Every once in a while you're like, fuck, back. What do you mean hopes? I do that too. It does.
Every once in a while you're like,
fuck, I got a hold of that one.
I just went straight.
No, no.
That does get spooky though.
I'm going to say more than you.
I would say 90% of them go where I need to go.
We should do like a simulator
before we all go out together just to...
We should go in real life
and we all have to get tired
because we have to run to find Judd's ball.
I was free this weekend.
I do love Jack.
Are you free?
Are you free until June at all?
No, I'm not.
No, I'm a slave after my wedding.
But no, I'm not free at all.
You're lucky she's not downstairs anymore.
She knows. She knows. She's queen of the castle.
I mean, yeah, just way to transition that one.
You just got to leave.
I do have to leave.
I got to tell jokes.
You do have to leave.
I got to get to Hawaii.
I have to tell jokes this week.
Ooh, who do you think won out of the LSU Iowa Women's Basketball?
I really want Iowa.
Actually, I want LSU to win again.
I'm going to tell you right now.
The winner is Iowa.
Yes.
94-87.
I love that.
I think Kaitlyn Clark deserves to go.
It's so fun to have LSU just consistently have her number.
But also, Juju Watkins is going to beat all our records.
Who's Juju Watkins?
That's a good point.
It's a USC guard.
She averages more points this year as a freshman.
She's crazy.
She's super Jewish.
What?
I'm going to tell you right now, if you Google Juju Watkins.
You go.
Juju.
Juju.
Bye, Judd.