Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.66 - Rachel Ramakrishnan

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

Tables have turned. I am the guest on my own show. We definitely didn't fight after this.

Can you please talk into your microphone? We're recording now. Yes, we are. I'm trying to test to see if this works or not. Hello? You're going to have to speak way up hello and speak into the top hello is that better that's a little better yeah you need to speak up the whole time pretend like you're mad at me

i get quieter okay pretend like you're happy with me i can't stop looking at this horse video. Turn your phone off. All right. Does it sound okay? I'm going to have to edit it because you sound like a church mouse. This is going to be a dessert. I haven't done one of these in three weeks. And you're slurping tea.

Oh, that's a good ASMR right there. I feel like an old, old couple. Just look at that. Hello, lady friend. Oh, hi. You have some questions for me today? Yeah, what do you want to start with? What are my categories?

Consider we just played a game. So you got my ick list. Oh, God. Do we want to start with the icks? Are we just doing TikTok trends today? Well, you didn't want to play the game with me. Well, it just wouldn't translate well. Yeah, that's fair. We have category Michael.

We have relationship. We have Thanksgiving. Let's start happy and go Thanksgiving and all about me. Do you have your tea? Do I have my tea? Yeah. Okay. I have my tea. Okay. Because it's coming out on Thanksgiving. Are these rapid fire questions or are these... Some of

them are. They don't have to be like speed. Okay. Okay. Let's pick up. okay first of all do you think that it's acceptable to call thanksgiving turkey day do i think it's acceptable to call thanksgiving turkey day yes sure i think it's acceptable am i team turkey day over thanksgiving no is it acceptable? Sure. I'm not going to get my tits in a Tesla bottom, but I'm okay with it. It's okay. Okay. It's okay. Do you call it Turkey Day? No. Okay, good. Because if you call it Turkey Day, I might get my panties in a bundle. Well, this is one you need to think

carefully about. What are your thoughts on turkey trots? I've done one and you're a trainer so what are my thoughts on waking up early thanksgiving morning and doing a 5k in the cold there's some that are no no is that the question turkey trots turkey trots you get turkey day you don't get turkey trots you've never done a turkey trot no the last thing i want to do on Thanksgiving, usually because I'm drinking the night before, is get up in the freezing cold and go, let's go to Miller Park, sorry, American Family Field, and let's go run, walk a 5K. I thought that you don't do Blackout Wednesday. Not really, but I usually end up drinking a little.

So tomorrow? Oh, wow. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Yeah. That's crazy. Are you doing a turkey trout this year i will be working on thanksgiving i will be saving lives so i am doing the entire thanksgiving meal so that is my 5k but you're having ham no i can explain that we have a smorgasbord of food. We have enough to feed three families, but there will be seven of us there. We make food so we have leftovers. Because this is not a hot take. Thanksgiving leftovers are significantly better than Thanksgiving food on the day.

I agree. I actually agree with that. Do you make like a turkey sandwich out of it the next day? No, I never really make a sandwich. On the day. I agree. I actually agree with that. Do you make like a turkey sandwich out of it the next day? No. I never really make a sandwich. I just. Something about Thanksgiving food microwaves so well. It's basic food.

Yeah. It's like baby food. It microwaves perfectly. It is. It's sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. It's mashed. Cornbread. I looked over the list of what we were making.

Besides turkey and the salad you and I made, I'm bringing that to Thanksgiving. Was that why you were on the dock today? Yeah. Did you see my comment? The one that I'm so extra? Yeah. No, not that one. No.

I'll have to look at it. Okay. But otherwise, it's just different forms of bread and carbs because we have cornbread. We thought about doing mac and cheese, stuffing, mashed potatoes. All those are usually just your carb option. Let's have all of them today. What is your must-have Thanksgiving food? Your one.

One that has to be there? It's not the turkey. The turkey might come fifth. It's going to be my mom's not the turkey the turkey might come fifth it's gonna be my mom's cornbread okay which i'm gonna attempt to make yes all right well shoot what was my next question can you speak up how would you like your turkey prepared on thanksgiving easy um well not easy i've never had a deep fried turkey. Okay. This is weird that I've never really interviewed someone, but you're my guest and you might do no talking. I've never had deep fried turkey.

I want to try it. Okay. I don't want to buy that much oil. I would have to do a lot of research on how to do it. We smoked a turkey for the first time last year. I told you this. I think that's the best. Our family doesn't like turkey. Like, at all.

My mom, I think, kind of likes it. Dad hates it. Andrew and Steven, indifferent. It's always dry. And there's something about, like, it just sits in crock pot. And they're like, we'll just add juice to it. Eh. It does nothing for me. Eh. okay um so last year we i brined

it overnight okay and then smoked it and then i smothered it in butter before we smoked it on top of inside the skin and i cut a piece off from my father and he looked at me i swear i think he almost hit me he goes this is the best damn thing i've ever eaten i was like yeah now was the whole turkey taste like that no so i've learned from my mistakes but the tender part of the turkey that was cooked holy shit it was like it was moist it was dripping it was succulent shit it was like it was moist it was dripping it was succulent and it was juicy take that to your family's thanksgiving i will never be able to look at a turkey the same i actually my parents and i were talking about this this is the first time in

five years i've been home close enough to thanksgiving because i never went home for thanksgiving in college i did and then the next day i always went back up to work at the bar years I've been home close enough to Thanksgiving because I never went home for Thanksgiving in college I did and then the next day I always went back up to work at the bar you know how lonely that is you go back up and it's just you ever all of your other roommates are well that was me they all lived in different states so they didn't have to be at the bar I lived in Wisconsin so can you please work for us there's gonna be six people in the bar the day after Thanksgiving. I'm like, sure. And then usually I would warm up the day after Thanksgiving.

I get a plate. No, this is the order. I go back. Oh, boy. Take a badger bus with Christmas lights. Because I'm a firm believer I can put up Christmasmas lights the day after thanksgiving okay so this is another question we'll get to it i put up the lights in my room or in our living room where it was to make our apartment festive just the lights that's in college all guys will do is

put up a few strings of lights and like we're good and they'll stay up year round um and then i warm up a plate of leftover thanksgiving food i go to stay up year round um and then i warm a plate of leftover thanksgiving food i go to work and i'm like and then i complain the entire time that i'm there i'm like there's no one fucking here and then i go home early or i drink on my shift and that's it is your next question when's the appropriate time to decorate for Christmas? No, you are hopping all over the place. I'm pumped. I'm getting interviewed. I feel like a rock star.

More opportunity for you to talk. That's what this is. Okay. Do you want snow on Thanksgiving? This is a yes or no question. Do not be elaborate. Okay. Do you want to host Thanksgiving or travel to another family member's place?

This is tough. You asked the question. Don't roll your eyes when I'm going to give you an answer. You're going to have to pick one. Can I explain why it's tough for me? This was supposed to be semi-rapid, and you were going in depth i need an hour all right okay fine this is why it's tough i grew up and thanksgiving was always at my aunt's house okay and so there's something nostalgic about going to my aunt's basement that is i'm not kidding the size of the living room kitchen combined and the entire family both sides would be there yeah too cozy at times and then we would as kids try and convince all the older kids so i guess

me now or our parents to go play football in the front yard that's what i loved because i think i was better than everyone else in football um now as i've gotten older i would much rather i think i'm better at planning things not planning things let's yeah easy on that i'm better at if it's something i genuinely want to host like party wise i guarantee you my party's going to be better than yours you were anal about putting up these candy canes and it's just because you're about to be nice and toy like a toy girl. You can see the candy cane here. We're getting ready for Christmas.

It's too early to decorate for Christmas, but you're not here for when I wanted to. Because that's another thing. Can you decorate before Thanksgiving? For Christmas? That's hypocritical because we did. But again. No. There's an asterisk no you can't to be honest

i'm a firm believer i'm fine if you decorate after thanksgiving um but actually you know what right after thanksgiving black friday you start decorating or december 1st christmas music before or after december 1st december 1st again broke my rule because you're here and we were decorating and you know how much it felt wrong yeah i don't think i thought about listening today when i worked out and i was like nope you can't so i'm gonna wait to december 1st and then buble is going to be pumping i'm excited for Christmas. I can pick the music at the gym now. It's going to be Mariah Carey. No, I hate that song.

Santa baby. Okay. Thoughts on Friendsgiving? That was a big eye roll. Again. You get one. What if you have multiple friends groups like I think both of us do? Can you only go to one Friendsgiving?

Okay, we have multiple friend groups, but those friend groups aren't large enough to all have their own. If you're the glue between all your friend groups, then it's on you to just host the one and get it over with. If you're going to, first of all, Friendsgiving after Thanksgiving, go fuck yourself. Okay? I had no idea you were so passionate about this. I'm all for it.

Bring the people over. It's just more excuse to eat good food and share good memories with your friends. Or it's like an excuse to be like hey can you bring one dish you bring one dish and we got four cornbreads a turkey and a peppermint and pumpkin pie and you're like what the fuck is this kevin it's about gathering together not about no i know i know but i think around this time when people start thinking about it you're not going to get the whole group in like if i want to throw something you're going to get everyone i'm like all right i wanted everyone here i don't want just like part of you here because there are whether you like it or not there are friends you

have in your group where there are levels to this okay i think you've heard me talk about this there are levels to this i would take a bullet for you is top tier friends. Yes. Then there's second tier. And those are the people like I can hang out with you one on one. Those are people like you're always going to invite to the party. Okay. Top tier.

They know they're invited. Bottom tier. They're surprised they're invited. And those are the ones you're like, I need everyone else here to hang out with you. It's like you consider them your friend, but you're never going out of your way to be like hey tracy you want to do something no even tracy thinks it's weird so i know all of your friends are in each of those tiers no you've never i don't i haven't met the bottom tier you haven't met bottom tier i've met a lot of the top tier yeah you've met all top and middle tier

okay getting back on track we're right on track uh you're letting me rant right now and i'm i'm just literally here to ask the question. Can you just yell into the microphone? Yes. Okay. There we go. I'm going to skip this question. Football on or off? Obviously on.

Pro or anti-Eggnog? This one's kind of Christmassy. Pro or anti-Eggnog? Pro. Are you kidding me? Delicious. Now. No.

Egg nog, if I see someone with like a tall, if a mug was this big of egg nog, no, you're disgusting. There's just no good way to consume egg nog. Egg nog is a sipper. It's a sipper. You can get like maybe one gulp, but you get a tiny glass, like just a little one. Cold or hot? cold hot you might as well make scrambled eggs i actually don't know what eggnog is made out of i'm gonna guess eggs is what else is in it though eggs and sugar cream sugar that's it i don't know we can look it up later i'm genuinely curious though okay these are

bouncing all over the place um what's your go-to thanksgiving beverage i never drank on holidays really which is really weird i've started to a bit. It's just never. We stopped doing a bunch of combined stuff. When I finally got of age to drink. I've always felt uncomfortable drinking in front of. I can drink in front of my mom and dad. My extended family. I feel like I'm getting judged. Like if I had a beer in my head.

They're all looking at me like he's got a problem. I'm like they're probably right a problem. I'm like, they're probably right. Michael. I'm kidding. My go-to beverage. What could be it? Okay. This is water.

Literally just water? Not even like the fake sparkling grape juice? Okay. My aunt had this punch. It was like Sherbert punch. That was delicious when I was a kid. Oh, my God. You got to be careful because I have had family friends that would do that, but it spiked.

Yeah, no. It's labeled, this is for the kids. Okay. And then, or just a beer. I'm fine drinking beer. I think there are, you know me, I'm pretty strict about what i eat through the week besides these last two days eating pasta for dinner but i don't want to i don't want to go grocery shopping to get stuff for thanksgiving when holidays come i'm like it's like you're on vacation as it should be i think

for everyone enjoy the holiday don't be like no you can only have 55 grams of mashed potatoes and i need 184 grams of protein and turkey no i saw this thing it was on actually it was on the radio and it said that the average person consumes 5 000 calories on thanksgiving but then they actually broke it down someone from new york times was trying to study that because they're like no way like 5 000 calories and it turned out it turned out to be like 2 000 yeah 5 000 it was like a daily serving eating normal food do you know how hard it is to eat 5 000 calories if you ate sweets yeah but normal like a whole you ate a whole pie yeah you were eating oh there's so many of you

should not say that i'm gonna get a video sent to me of just someone murdering a pie also you eating the entire thing of banana bread listen that would be that's a thousand calories probably right there yeah but i'm stuffed then eating four thousand well that's my thought it's like you only eat your thanksgiving meal normally you'll have maybe have a snack here or there after it my eyes are so water and beer okay sorry um my eyes are always bigger than my stomach on thanksgiving too where i load up my plate and then like we said it's all carbs and then you get halfway through and you're like,

but the trick is you have to get the smaller plate. So then your plate looks full. Yes. Okay. We don't do that. Moving on. Dress up or casual, casual.

Okay. What is one tradition that you would pass along to your kids? Christmas at my house. No, for Thanksgiving. For Thanksgiving. We never really had one. The tradition was going to my aunt's house, and we don't do it anymore. I think when I have children, I would like to do Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house.

Mainly because I will do it better than Andrew and Steven. Let's be honest. You know both my little brothers. Who's going to throw a better party? Me, Andrew, or Steven? Andrew's party will be 19 cases of Bud Light and the turkey that's still frozen. He goes, we'll just thaw it out.

It's not going to happen. It takes days. It would be fun. We'd be wasted. It'd be fun. Andrews is more like Blackout Wednesday. I'm Thanksgiving. Stephen's Black Friday. Wow. You just subbed up your brothers right there.

That's pretty good. Okay. What is... So, wait. Can I create a tradition besides it being at my house? Okay. So, that was kind of one of my other questions. Go ahead.

I want to do Thanksgiving football. Okay. No stupid trots. If we're going to trot, we're going to the gridiron and we're hucking the pigskin around. That was a question yesterday. I'm sure you're correct. Pig intestines. No, it's pig bladder.

Bladder? Yeah. That's what it was? Okay. So, if you could create a new holiday. Michael Day. No. What would you create?

When and what month would it be? And what would the tradition be? I went right to a comedian's joke, which is very inappropriate for this. Because I think your mom might watch this one. I will whisper it to you later okay you won't like it either oh no wait tell me no just for the people who like comedy jim jeffries has a joke about um i believe it's 419 um it's his day it is is not the normal sex day. It is number two sex day.

Oh. Yeah, there we go. Well, if I had a career to... Never mind. We're not going to elaborate on this. No, I don't think we should. The tradition is pretty self-explanatory. It is in the month of April and on the 19th. I could be wrong, but.

Continue. What is your new holiday? What is my new holiday? Can I get rid of a holiday instead? No. Okay. Can we do that next? Sure.

Okay. When would I have it? You have one month. Okay. Can we do that next? Sure. Okay. When will we, when would I have it? You have one month. Not the fall. There's enough in the fall right now. Going from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas. And to be honest,

I love them, but sometimes it gets stressful. We're like, when does the money stop? Um, yeah. And that's a lot of time to spend with family too. You love your family, but if it's like big extended family.

Yeah. So I'd probably do something spring into summer, summer into fall. Those are three seasons. You got to pick at least one. Um, those are three seasons. You got to pick at least one. I want to do. This is tough.

So I'm going to steal something a bit. Okay. We're going to do spring into summer. Okay. Summerfest like themed. So the holiday is going to be like music. Okay. What were all the questions that were attached to this? Time, what it would be, and then tradition.

Middle of June. It is a... No, this sounds way too hippie. It's going to be a celebration of the arts? It's not. It's a summer fest. Yeah. No.

Because then I was like, you could do a state day, but that's a state fair. You know how hard it is to create a holiday? Like, what are we celebrating? That's what you have to tell me. What would you want to celebrate that we don't celebrate that you think is significant to our history? Me. Oh, my God.

People just don't know yet. We're going to circle back to this question. I'm going to think about this one. I'm going to create a holiday. Okay. Back to Thanksgiving. If you could have anyone in the world at the dinner table with you who would it be are you kidding me let's get this one out of the way you um oh that's a suck up answer yeah so let's get this out of the way moving on to the real answer um it's tough it's tough do i go music route i go midland just saw midland

i'd go midland love to have them there now that's a group of people so that seems like i'm kind of cheating a bit okay um so if i give you a singular artist a singular artist or just person or just person like it could be Graham Hancock or Tom Segura or Tom Segura would be hysterical um at Christmas because it'd just be like it'd be fun to crack jokes at my grandparents with him Andrew Schultz would drive my parents up. No, I showed my dad Andrew Schultz over hunting weekend. He loves him. I was like, that'd be fun. If all my family was together, like extended, the ones that

we don't talk to a ton anymore, it'd be real fun to get someone real controversial in there and just watch people's heads pop. Graham Hancock would be cool to talk about history. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six. I'm going to bring Aaron Rodgers. Really?

No. I would, though, because you know what this is why i bring aaron rogers oh boy he's not playing on thanksgiving so he's free i thought the peggers did play thanksgiving sorry aaron you got the invite i don't know i could be wrong but i think we have equal frustrations about our season. And have you ever seen the anger translator? No. Key and Peel. I think Key. He used to translate for Obama.

Obama would say something normal and then he would translate like angrily. I would like to do that with Aaron Rodgers because he's very calm, cool, and collected. And I'd like to just hear what he has to say and then just translate it for everyone. I'd be like, I really – it's nice to see the progress going on with the Packers and then be like, you all fucking suck, all right? It's like high school receivers out there. No, I don't like that answer.

I'm going to bring – you know what graham hancock he's coming and we're talking ancient civilizations that's fair i like that answer that was a long-winded answer i was gonna say it's very wisconsin boy of you if you're gonna bring aaron rogers oh let's see what is your take on black friday shopping on thanksgiving night you want to hear me get into this one no let's keep it short no but these are good rants black friday is black friday shit opens up at midnight and that's it no more we're opening up macy's at 8 p.m on thursday no i definitely agree with this because being a retail worker before on thanksgiving it sucks to have to leave your family to go work a retail job for 40 year old woman to get mad at you it's also black

friday yeah not black halfway through Thursday, Friday. Okay? I think, but people just skip Thanksgiving. Like right now you're talking about Christmas as you're answering some of my Thanksgiving questions. Yeah, well I don't, I didn't really understand what you were talking about for some of the questions. These are so straightforward. I think that some of these are a you issue, not the way I've been explaining

things today. Most of this is a you or me issue. What is in this okay what are we talking about black friday okay now i like black friday because i go every year okay for this year i understand i understand your take on black friday now what's the best deal you've had on black friday or you've gotten on black friday be honest i don't buy much on black friday when i was younger i would go with my mom and i would pick out stuff i wanted for christmas and then those would be my presents um and then I would forget and then oh my gosh new shoes and I'm like oh yeah I forgot I picked this up um yeah I've never really I think what I

like about Black Friday is that Christmas has started in my mind. Okay. The holiday season really like. Thanksgiving is a start to holiday season for me. And. Then. We get into the Christmas. I like. The hecticness of it. Because in my head.

I'm in a Christmas movie. Where we're searching for the last toy. Everyone's biting each other's ears off. For a PlayStation. I love it. The energy. The grit. Just to get. The grit. Just to get what you want for your kids. Or yourself. I for a PlayStation. I love it. The energy, the grit, just to get. The grit.

Just to get what you want for your kids or yourself. I don't know if you're a giving or if you're a narcissistic person. I love both of them right now. Fucking go down there, get dirty, and get your shit. I like it. Just make sure there's some Christmas stuff going on. Creepy Santa in the mall. Some guy playing the piano kind of well.

And music that drowns both of them out. You're a very sentimental guy. That was a nice way of saying, or a weird way of saying sentimental, sure. I like thinking I'm in a movie. Yeah. I'll give you that.'s see i'm not gonna ask you about family drama no we could transition to christmas sure why not how you say a laundry list of questions are we even close to done

no i love it keep her going okay wait we'll end off thanksgiving with this what are you most thankful for this year the most traditional question besides the obvious friends family all that so besides the obvious yes and then this goes into your little activity what am i most thankful for Oh god without sounding fucking cheesy and gross The support I have gotten for doing Like really going after doing stand up Don't make this sappy okay I can tell that you were tweaking saying that

I hated saying that I literally want to throw up. Am I thankful for it? Yes. I'm going to get angry now so I can just drown out the nice thing I just said. You have to show that you care. I don't. What is my activity?

Okay. So, did you ever do this in elementary school? Where? Do what? You put your hand and trace your hand i'm drawing a hand turkey right now yep that's it and then you're gonna write five things in the little fingertip parts that you're thankful for about jake and you're gonna put it on about jake are you kidding me well you could do it about me but i figured that would be a nice surprise for Jake to come home to. Jake's his roommate.

Okay, here's the only issue with this activity. What? You have to talk the entire time I'm doing this. Okay, well, maybe you can tell me later. No, I'll do it. We'll do it both at the same time while I continue to ask you questions. This will be a good multitasking. You want me to draw a turkey, write what I'm thankful for, hold the microphone, and answer your question at the same time while i continue to ask you questions this will be a good multitasking you want me to draw a turkey write what i'm thankful for hold the microphone and answer

your question at the same time yep i can't do that well you have one hand to draw draw my other hand that's holding the microphone this got feisty real quick i'll trace your hand no i got it i got it i got an idea... Are you about to put the microphone down your shirt? Can I just give you a topic to talk about while I'm doing this? I guess so. Okay. Okay. I want you to tell me your most...

Your least favorite and your favorite Christmas presents you've ever gotten. Oh, boy. From your parents. Okay. What if they're from Santa? From Santa. Okay. Okay.

Let's see. I know my favorite, and I think I've told you this before it's when I after I watched Polar Express and they had the sleigh bells and all I wanted that year is for Santa to bring me bells that the reindeers had on Santa's sleigh and And so somewhere, my mom or Santa, there you go, good job. You got to dress it up now. But she brought me three bells on a red ribbon that I thought was attached to Santa's sleigh. And I was convinced that it was and I was so excited. And to this day, that's the only gift from Santa that I really remember. My least favorite... I think was also when I was a kid.

And it stemmed from Chrissy taking my things. You were being so quiet over there. And I lost my horse. You know the little ones that you can ride on like a stick and like a stick horse how did you lose an entire horse i didn't actually lose it because chrissy came out with it and it was butterscotch but my parents got me a spirit one to replace it which they thought would be better because I loved spirit the movie, but it was just not the same.

There you go. See how simple that was to condense. No rants, calm, cool, collected. Life's too short to be peaceful. I'm done.

Jake, he's so thankful for you He did that so fast You're not gonna like these answers Oh no Alright I'm thankful he has nice hair Where is your actual turkey? It's right there See the smile on his face

That is just a hand I'll give him feet Damn Gotta give him feet. Damn. Gotta give him feet and wings. All the kindergarten teachers out there would be so disappointed. These are his wings. My four fingers. I got a fat hand.

Alright. The pinky finger. Nice hair. I'm thankful he's got nice hair. Okay. I would be more thankful if he cut it. Okay. And looked like a real boy again. Second one. He pays half the rent. hair i'm thankful he's got nice hair okay i would be more thankful if he cut it okay and look like

a real boy again second one he pays half the rent oh my pretty pumped about that one this would be quite the hefty bill to live here um so i'm thankful he pays half the rent okay third one middle finger he gives me edibles michael what you're not understanding the assignment i'm thankful for that okay point your finger uh-huh points and laugh he entertains me and i laugh when i watch him cook it's great it's a i cooked his chicken for him yesterday i was gonna ask you about that actually okay part of it's my frustration watching him do it i watched him season his chicken for him yesterday. I was going to ask you about that, actually. Okay. Part of it's my frustration watching him do it. I watched him season his chicken. He'll never get invited to a cookout.

Never. He had maybe three grains of salt on there and a scrunch of pepper. And some, he checked up on me. Okay, that one's nice. I thought they were all nice. I'll give you one. He's got a good head at... Look at this.

Okay, I'll give you one he's got a good head look at this okay i'll give you two out of five no let me let me give you my reasons michael checks up on me he's caring okay okay nice hair good looking pace half the rent responsible gives me edibles generous funny to watch cook entertaining i'm sorry are those five things you want in a roommate absolutely all right okay this you are competing with yourself on that i just want you to know that i'd like to see jake do a better one of me i should have had you guys together yesterday all right are we moving on to christmas would you like to transition away yeah we're about halfway through anyways we still have so many questions to go and you didn't want to do this you're having fun right now you're learning

a lot about me and how angry i am on the inside. I knew this already. Okay. Let's see. Okay, we'll do one Christmas and then move on to other things. Just one Christmas question? Just one Christmas question. Okay. Santa Claus is the best Christmas movie. I was not going to ask you that because I already know it.

Okay. Favorite Christmas song? Oh, my god that you know how hard that is pick one probably rocking around the christmas tree or blue let the other michael take that one over i'll be so blue michael okay i regret it without michael okay okay this one's christmas themed still we're transitioning a little bit into relationships though this is applicable to black friday five christmas list items that girlfriends can shop for for their boyfriends on black friday like stocking stuffer stuff what would you want am i giving advice like yeah go-to's you don't need to ask them. Yeah. This is just, are you searching right now?

Maybe. So stocking stuffers are just small things like just go to. Yeah. Okay. You're not going to buy them a new car. Please don't read into this. You're going to read into this. New car.

No, I'm just kidding. If you know their size, go clothes. If you've been with them long enough, know their size, know what they like. Like a flannel or if they've been talking about shoes, most of them like. Don't do pants. Pants are really hard. I think a lot of guys are particular about how their pants fit.

Anything Yeti. Anything Yeti is a pretty simple one for most guys. Stocking stuffers, favorite sports team. You could get them tickets to their favorite team. These are pretty specific. These really dudes dudes one what if you have like a hip guy or a musical guy or a vinyl record okay um musical guy yeah vinyl record um i don't know they play guitar get them custom guitar picks i don't know i don't play the guitar um stocking stuffers we're talking small stuff yeah just like give me the guy and i'll give you the gifts how about that you're gonna spend so simple with it just like lotion body

wash cologne anything yetii. Anything just normal. You see an Instagram ad and most of it's like any Instagram ad stuff you basically could do. Okay. Like you see the or Facebook. I keep saying Yeti, but like that genre of stuff. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Things that he wouldn't buy for himself.

Yes. Things he wouldn't buy. Like he would. But be like, oh, I like this. Most guys are cheap. So like, hey, I need a coffee mug. Having a Yeti one would be cool. But I'm not going to spend eighty dollars and one get that one or. Well, what's your take on girlfriends getting guys underwear don't no i don't remember the last time i bought underwear i did that once

clear your face on it no there's like american eagle ones i think in high school and that was like in the thing to have all the different, yeah. Yeah. No, I go flannel, drinkware, booze. Got two more. Tickets to some event. Okay. And a picture of your butt okay guarantee you every guy right now that's listening just went amen so all right well i know what you want for christmas oh boy okay i want my yeti mug back i was thinking about that today i tried getting

your coffee i was like fuck i looked for you i haven't seen one that's that design it's because they are uh no longer making them really yeah oh that's a bummer so ziegel or honda i thank you for giving me the free engine but go yourself for stealing my mug. Whoever works there. Michael. Okay, moving on. How do you suggest, actually this is a good question for us to talk about, spending time during the holidays with each other's families, and when is a good time to introduce family into the situation? People have very different ideas on this i think it depends on the length you've been dating the person to start okay so that's what's

your length and where you're at there are people like i'm seeing this guy sweetheart you're not dating him he's not coming over for christmas and he sure should ain't inviting you to christmas um you're dating one to three months still probably not um i would have no issue where we're at being at each other's however i think you need to respect the family's tradition and like if both of them are people do night christmas and day christmas christmas eve stuff like that if you're both day christmases which both our families are i honestly suggest as much as i think each one of us would

probably like to be a part of both i like the idea of respecting each person's family's christmas and then finding ways to meet up and spend time with the other one um if possible but i don't like the idea of being i I was at your place, now we're at my place. Right. Like you miss a whole Christmas because of it. Yeah. If you're in the same place, fine. I know people who are, like I'm fine with respecting the family Christmas because like with us, we're going to be in the same state.

Right, yeah. Now I have, you met joel in denver um joel and his girlfriend aren't from the same state right so they go their separate ways but then there's no way of meeting back up so might as well just pick one um that's my take so depends on the seriousness yes not directly the length because we haven't been dating that long no but yeah seriousness and length definitely seriousness okay um like if you haven't met their parents, she hasn't met my mother or my father. But neither one of you met any parents. I've met your family. Don't expect it.

Like if anyone's trying to get advice from this podcast, which no one is, enough people listen to it now. Someone might be taking advice from us. First of all i'm a great guru if you need someone to coach you through life i do my hourly for guru stuff probably 20 an hour i could do um i'll just talk you through something you won't need to be there an hour but i'd stay there with an hour if you're just you know we're just shooting the shit you know you actually are a good listener yeah when i want to you listen to me a lot because i have to that's not a good answer it's the correct answer all right well would you like to move into the x section of the relationship part sure all right do you know yours no but they'll come to me i'll let you start so i know

which direction to go okay all right well number one you say that you're serious about me but i've not met either of your parents it's a timing thing no it's not i have been in the same state for so long now i know this is where you're gonna have no problem because i will talk louder yeah i know um that one's on me for not doing it in the summer and you make jokes about your mother say we're gonna get along you are i don't know. If you had to say something to my mother right now, what would you say? Why is your son hiding you? I'm not hiding her.

It's like you're protecting her from me or something. Or it's the other way around. Okay, that's fair. Okay, my turn? Yes. I don't like the way you cut food i should have seen this coming it bothers the shit out of me one um and tied with that you need your knives to be sharper i'm a little worried for your safety but i shouldn't see you put physical force into cutting a tomato or cucumber ever again that shit should

slide right through okay it's gotten better it's gotten better you're teaching me i'm listening and learning you have to give me some credit okay when we first started dating i will give it to you it was like trying to cut vegetables oh my gosh okay i'm moving on okay second hick the fact that you won't get new joggers when almost all of them have huge holes in the crotch. Not these. Like, that's it. At least get them fixed. Some of them are Lululemon ones. If you just take them to the store.

None of the ones that have holes are Lulu. Oh, no, those are Lulu shorts, but I just don't wear those anymore because I get yelled at. Your nuts are hanging out. No, I have underwear on. Actually actually there was this one time i wore the black ones before the hole was really big and i wouldn't wear underwear and i sat down on the couch and my nuts actually came out like it might be time to start either wearing underwear or get new pants but i'm not supposed to get you pants because that's what you said not for girlfriends

yeah it's hard because at least I'm picky. I've always been picky with pants. Pants are hard. I'm not an ideal height. How tall are you? I don't know. Not tall enough. Um,

and so trying to find pants that fit the way you want them to, whether you want them to be like, most people want like tapered pants. That's why joggers are so in style. Um, but a lot of people, when you try and put on jeans and you get like this skinnier pair to get the

tapered in, then it looks like your thighs are going to pop out. Or if you want a bigger, and then so your thighs aren't there, then all of a sudden you got i don't know trash bags at your fucking ankle sorry i'm just passionate about pants i feel like i've just poked a lot of buttons tonight with some of these questions all right this is fun. This is like therapy. Can we do this once a month?

You said I need therapy, but I think this is good enough. We'll circle back to that later. Okay. You're up. I had another good one. Oh, okay. I have three for sure, including the last one. Okay.

Well, I have five more. You have so many you have so much you have so many you said you had six you just gave me two so you have seven you added another one okay i'm gonna stick with the cooking theme oh no um and you're i know what your defense is going to be to this one but your inability to follow a recipe now can i give you your rebuttal already because that's what you're going to say but you encourage cooking you need to have creativity and do stuff creativity is what i just did with no recipe when you have a recipe it's like a lego okay if i gave you a lego and you're like you know what i'm gonna make it what i want well captain jack's ship is gonna

look like a pile of trash i didn't say what you make is trash yeah okay no i think some other this is fun out of hand i think that certain recipes are for inspiration. Like you look at them and you're like, Oh, this looks good, but I'm going to turn it into this. Something that I is catered towards me as an individual and what I like and what I have around. Fair.

That's why I like create it. You get ideas from recipe, but when, but when we're like, Hey, let's make this recipe. And we're like, let's make this recipe and we're like let's make this you know asian whatever and i turn it mediterranean and then all of a sudden it's got greek olives and feta cheese and cucumbers and i'm gonna broccoli sprouts in it and we're like what did you make

and if we showed you guys we do these little date night facetime dinners which he loves i love them they're great i get a cook and she's not in this kitchen i'm sorry i had to bring that you just hallowed away okay um but Okay. But, that last part's not true. But, let's make this recipe, and if we took pictures side by side of our dishes, never mind the plating disaster. Oh, my gosh. This is turning into so many icks at once. This is turning into roast. They are vastly different okay fine

yeah sit back come for you now this is backfiring it's just supposed to be an awareness thing okay we'll stick with cooking you are the most aggressive grocery shopper i hate going into stores with you because you turn into an entirely different person like just the light in your eyes turns off and you're like main on a mission can't talk to anyone else don't even realize that i'm there get frustrated if i don't know what color freaking carrot i want oh that stems from the indecisiveness get frustrated if I don't know what color freaking carrot I want. Oh, that stems from the indecisiveness. No, you cannot turn that back on me.

I have noticed I don't like grocery shopping with you. I don't know what it is. This is not a me thing. No, but I think what I love grocery shopping. But I think it's like a form of it's like it's therapeutic for me. So it's your safe space. Yes. Your boundary. And you have popped my bubble.

No, it's just I think when we've gone grocery shopping before, we have gone aimlessly aimlessly and i like going aimlessly myself because the only dialogue i have is what do you want michael not what do you want but this is the thing about relationships is what is it the key to a successful relationship is that you feel introverted and that you can just be still together even Even though that you are together. It's like you're alone. We would have an empty grocery cart still. Moving on to your Rick. Timeliness.

What? I'm always on time. No, it's like weird. Like. No. Unless it's with family because I'm visiting with them yes but i would rather you be like hey i'm gonna go i'll let you know when i'm leaving not i'm gonna leave right away and then an hour later i get it happens or today today um before we even started this i I was like, hey, what's this game?

And then it takes you 15 minutes to even get going with it. We're like, what? Sometimes you're not that efficient. That one's a dig at you, isn't it? Yes, I am a big efficiency person. I don't believe that one. Sometimes I'm like, oh, my God. I think that sounds from impatience.

Yeah. Are we going to fight after this? We might have our first fight. Oh, wait, this is not our first fight. We fought before. We've had like one. Yeah. Disagreement.

That's it. Okay, is it my turn? Yeah. Okay, is it my turn? Yeah. Okay. You keep a wad of cash. That is way too much. I'm not going to say how much it is. I feel like your mother would agree with me on this.

You finally took some of it to her. I took a good chunk of it because if I deposited that amount of money, there would be some red flags at the bank. That is a red flag in itself. I don't trust the banks. We're not going down this loophole. Where's it go? I can see my money go? Where's it go? I can see my money there.

You're going to turn into an old person that just shoves it in between their mattresses. I'm gradually turning into Nick Miller. Oh my gosh. Okay. Moving on. Oh, mine for you? I think this is my last one i got unless something triggers me um

i don't think you're gonna like this one oh no you take way too many things that i say like they're dig and do like they're digs at you i could just have a deep breath you're like what what okay i feel like girls out there will understand this okay so this is to all girls fucking stop no because sometimes they are like when i we were getting ready to do the game and i wasn't ready and you were being patient with me you were taking it to heart and getting annoyed with it so how do i know wait hold on go back you weren't ready shut up no don't twist my words i didn't twist your words those are your exact words and they fall right back into the previous egg but you don't know what to read into

and what not to read into because there's a lot of things that I feel like you let go, which is a good thing. And that I let go too. Just move on because that's how a healthy relationship should be. But what if it's something that needs to be talked about because you're not going to bring it up yourself? We're doing it right now. This is prompted though. What if it wasn't prompted? No.

There are just little things. There are some where you're just like, what? You do the same thing, by the way. There you go. It's a Nick. I want to say yours is worse.

I win. No, I still have more. Oh, good God. All right. You refuse to cuddle with me before bed? Yeah, I'm not even ashamed of that one.

Don't touch me when I'm trying to sleep. We had this conversation last night. Well, and I said I respect your boundaries, but you still have to cater towards mine, too. Your boundaries are no boundaries. That's so not true. My friends would agree with me on this i have good boundaries and i have good boundaries with you too in terms of cuddling we're getting way too personal i don't want to like flesh out everything to the public okay okay do you agree

with math do you think it's a good science what i? I'm just trying to change the subject. No, I have two more. You don't agree with math? You think the Earth is flat? Michael, these are people. Sit back. These ones are more also digs at me. That won't be done.

Every time I look at animals, you remind me that they're going to die someday, and it makes me sad it makes me not want to get an animal that's the whole point why? you don't need a dog I'm not going to get a dog yet

I'm not dumb I will have a dog someday here's the thing I have to keep telling you because I know one day you're gonna be driving home from work there's gonna be a dog limping on the side of the road and i'm gonna get a snap i'm like mother she's got a dog now funny story so there was this like squirrel on the side of the road at the nature center one year.

And it was like on a main, the main road. I don't know. It's not like, maybe it's Forest Home. One of those. I just straight up saw it. Stopped like on my brakes, whipped a Yui in the middle of the road to go see if I could save the squirrel. And I was like. Did you save it? I didn't know where it was I could save the squirrel. And I was like. Did you save it?

I didn't know where it was. I couldn't find it. I was like, maybe he limped off. I don't know. But then I looked around my surroundings and I was like, holy shit. I just did that. I could have killed myself. All right.

Next question. Next. Okay. Last. The fact that I don't get a cute nickname. You have adorable nicknames. Gert. That's the only nickname you have for me.

Gert? You just gotta say it better. Gert. You sound like a Pokemon. Oh, look. Gert is evolving. To go, Gert! Oh, okay.

We're done. Ev go-gurt. Okay, we're done. Evolves into yogurt. Those are my icks that got heated. Those are my icks and this is my song. My name is Rachel and I'm signing off. We're definitely gonna fight after this. I thought that was pretty good.

Transitioning back to you then. We're definitely going to fight after this. I thought that was pretty good. Transitioning back to you then. Teach me a fun fact. I feel like I did with trivia correct last night. Don't bring that up. Oh, I was right 90% of the time? No, I thought you were going to bring something else up. You look stupid.

Oh, the United States one? Michael, no. That was where I was going to go with it. Fun fact. Fun fact. I don't think I have one. Alright, then what's a common misconception about you? I think they're all pretty spot on. That's not true.

Cotton candy on the inside, jawbreaker on the outside. Alright, should have known you were going to go with that one. Hmm. I actually looked this up today. Okay, this is is interesting do you know what your name means who is like god yeah trust me i know that one i don't think it means what you think it means so who is like god as in there is no one like god but i am like him i'm the right hand man i took down satan oh my gosh all right well satan how do you think you'll die those are my questions satan how do you think i'll die how do you think I'll die? How do you think you'll die? Jake says I'll die at 52.

How? Not what age. What method? I'm getting there. Okay. Probably some freak accident. Really? Yeah.

I'm going to do something stupid. I'll get back into the adrenaline junkie little kick. And I don't know. It'll be my attempt to be. I really, it is a goal of mine to be able to jump out of a plane by myself. So did you probably be one of those things? Just did you see this guy? I was looking at the news.

My dad was telling me about it. And of course he laughed, which is terrible. He, this guy was standing on top of a semi truck just like taking selfies and pictures and the truck driver didn't realize that he was there and i don't know like the physics of how he was moving on this truck and also standing on it but the truck driver went through a tunnel and he just like completely got knocked out and died. That's what I think of when I think of freak accidents to die.

That's what you think of a freak accident? That's such a... That is so beyond freak accident. But I mean, it was like a purposeful act by the man to go stand on top of that truck. And I wouldn't blame the truck driver for that. No. Who's looking at the top of their trucks, you know? Yeah, that's really... That's interesting.

You're watching some weird news lately. Also, we're at an hour, so you have like one to two questions left. Okay. I could go on and on and on. No. Because I have to edit this tomorrow. Okay.

Do you have any questions for me? None at all. How bad are we going to fight after this? Not that bad. Okay. This one's kind of fun. If you could put a false memory into someone's head like into like majority of people within wisconsin what would it be yeah we'll keep it to wisconsin can i keep it to the world? Okay. Cancel culture ended.

Well, that's a good answer. I like that. We got to grow the fuck up. This is the aggressive part of your answer. We do. I'm going to keep it short and simple. Okay. Is that it?

I could keep asking, but you're cutting me off. You have one more. Hmm. I don't know. I don't have a good one to sum it up. I think you got gotta give me one. If you could have one question answered, out of everything in the world, the universe,

it could be anything. Okay. What would it be? Hmm. universe could be anything okay what would it be i think that you know the ocean fascinates me so i think it would be what is everything that's in the ocean? Like if I could know literally everything, all the species, what's at the bottom, how that started, why the sea levels are, why they are, why the ice age happened, it would just spiral into all these questions. But I'm at the end levels are. Why they are. Why the ice age happened. It would just spiral into all these questions.

But I'm. I like that. At the end of it. The ocean scares the shit out of me though. Mm-hmm. All right. Thank you very much. You're welcome, sleepy.