Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.70 - AJ Grill

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

AJ Grill just released his first comedy special " Ill Quit When Im 30" on YouTube.   CHECK HIM OUT: Special: https://youtu.be/PsRLWrA_Dkk Instagram: @aj.grill  Website: ajgrillcomedy.com

just tap this so we can check all right yours sounds good cool yeah no when did you film this again though november the 19th you might know it as opening of gun season in wisconsin oh yeah because we were gonna do this beforehand yeah i think this seems better now that it's actually out yeah you're gonna sell out either way right um do we call it a special do you like when people call it a special i went back and forth on that pretty publicly where I was like, don't make me call it a special. But it feels weird calling a video an album. I am going to put out the audio, but I can't be like, watch my album.

That doesn't make very much sense. Fair. But a special is like you think Netflix or Hulu. Yeah, but everyone's putting out stuff on YouTube now. I know, I know, I know. But it also, and this is no, like, diss on anyone, but it's also, like, the YouTube people are, like, the Mark Normans and the Sam Riles and all that.

Yeah. There are a few people I've seen put out specials recently. I'm like, all right, why are we putting stuff out? Well, and that's the thing. Like, part of me, why I want to do it is I know, and I won't name names, but the Iowa where I started, there's, like, some people who I never even met like while I was there and they started well after me and they have like five albums and it's like,

what are we doing here? You know? Yeah. If they're not good, what's the point? I, I can't say if they're good or not, but there is one dude who used to come through Milwaukee a lot.

You can bleep this out or keep it down. I don't care. His name is Kersh Mohan. I hope he sees this. Uh, Can't say if they're good or not, but there is one dude who used to come through Milwaukee a lot. You can bleep this out or keep it down. I don't care. His name is Kersh Mohan. I hope he sees this. I'm not going to bleep it out. I'm not going to tag him in it. I'm going to be a dick.

He's a nice dude. Really nice guy. But he one time booked me and another comedian to do a show here. And nobody showed up, so we canceled the show. And then I ended up leaving my debit card there. So we came back like 30 minutes later and he's got like this full meal in front of him and i was thinking to myself like how is he affording to do this you know yeah and then like he gave us one of his albums and i listened to it and it was so bad like the worst thing that i've ever heard and i was like oh trust fun kid for sure a million percent yeah that's tough that's

tough did your album turn like quality, did it turn out well? Oh, yeah. I'm thrilled with the quality. You're thrilled with it? Yeah, yeah. Are you thrilled with the video? Yeah, for sure. The audio is not quite done and cut yet,

but it's going to be the audio from the special, which I'm stoked about the audio and the video. Cheston Von Huss, shout out to him, and Hear Hear Presents. I worked up with him on a project in quarantine or covid and i was blown away with his camera work and so he had a team of like three people and i'm super yeah it looks it looks great yeah where is this because that's such a cool venue yep this is at here here presents so they are like a music label here in milwaukee they do like live shoots um you can check out

on youtube they have like hundreds of videos of like bands um so it's like a kexp or like tiny desk type thing uh but yeah it's here in milwaukee it's in a warehouse in bayview um they do live events and yeah it's just like a very cool curated space how big is that room i love the background yeah it's such a cool batch it looks like this is supposed to be happening. For sure. Because there are people who film, I think, specials. You see them like, this is just you on a random stage that you were allowed to do it on. Exactly.

This actually looks like they asked you to be there. Yeah. Ryan Holman is kind of like the main guy over there. And I used to produce shows with him. And I planted a seed in his brain a few years ago like, hey we ever if i ever like recorded something i'd want to be here and uh yeah he came to me this summer and i was like let's do it and uh we had 50 people i think each show between 40 and 50 people because we sold 40 tickets and then like we like let a few people trickle in. Yeah. Yeah. It looks great. I do have to ask, it always intrigues me

when people do these, outfit choice. Mm-hmm. How do you pick what you're wearing? Very, I just wanted to be very basic. Very basic.

Very basic. Did you buy that shirt? Oh, no. That is a shirt that I have had for a very, very long time. Okay, so it's an AJ Grill stamp. That is a AJ Grill.

Purchased that from PacSun in like 2012 maybe with your employee discount they wouldn't hire me dude no way I was a hot topic guy were you really no no Spencer's gifts I think the only time I went to either one of those is just to see what they have yeah for sure we used to go in there and buy stink bombs fuck yeah you throw them down on the bus in the locker room and stuff actually like i think one of the few products in this world that truly work the way they're described oh yeah for sure they're just they're horrendous yeah yeah they used to i guess they used to be glass i had a friend who was telling me about yeah just little vials yeah the ones we

had were like little paint balls and so that's what like what this is like the height of paintballing so you just pick oh mom it's paintballs you know but they're stink bombs you were you big into paintballing no i was not airsoft we did airsoft yeah oh my god right we had i had everything my brother had a sniper like a legit sniper you ever eat the co2 one uh we had a few of those yeah most of i guess what were they they were air powered yeah yeah it's just it was i mean it was a co2 yeah yeah yeah we're talking about the shot the little right plastic pellets yeah you ever go like did you have airsoft wars with your friends oh yeah oh my we had a we had the this like woods were in our backyard same grew up and these dirt bikers like carved out a trail yeah and we overtook it and

we're like digging holes we made trenches sure we had fights there yep like actual wars and you killed a guy on a dirt bike from one of your trenches absolutely we buried him to this day he's still back there no my god it's funny they talk about like microplastics and everything it's like yeah from airsoft pellets all these kids are shooting in the early 2000s there are millions of bb's in my woods in my old house no we you ever uh i had a neighbor my best friend growing up he um he took us to a legitimate airsoft place like we have actual wars no shit we got there i'm in jeans and a white t-shirt yeah and they're like you have to have goggles that's a requirement i'm like that that's smart that checks so i bought i brought my snowboarding goggles nice and they go what are those i'm like

first of all why are you all in ghillie suits yeah why are you all over the age of 35 right like this is freaky it's a whole compound they should that's how they should get that aggression out of wanting to shoot kids do it with airsoft guns exactly but this guy takes my goggles and point blank shoots them and puts a dent in him he goes you're lucky it didn't go through i'll let you wear these i go who the fuck is gonna be shooting me from this close also he just ruined a nice pair of fucking snowboarding goggles exactly and i was like uh i look at my buddy joel i'm like where the fuck did you take us yeah no shit and then we did a safety or like rundown like what you can and cannot do yeah i'm like what can't you do here this is right it's war this guy who's

like he said i was like i've been he said, I was in the Cold War. He goes, what about the claymores? I go, did you say claymores? They're like, yeah, but it can only spray this amount of feet. Is that the kind you have? He goes, yes. They have airsoft explosives? Yeah. And I was like.

Time to wake up. Work gym? Uh-oh. It goes to my phone. Answer no come on let me answer it anytime fitness no i was like yeah claymore's no i'm like you better be on my fucking team yeah it's insane i've never been more scared in my life you said you said you had uh you had woods behind your house as a kid me too did it feel like like anarchy out there you could do anything you wanted oh yeah it was the greatest thing i grew up i will always say

this i grew up in the greatest neighborhood of all time in my opinion it was i hated the neighborhoods that were huge yeah or you didn't know like when you got into your friend's neighborhood and it was just kind of like i don't know it was like 50 blocks it felt like. For sure. Just roads everywhere. I'm like, how do you know how to get home? Yep. My neighborhood, one in, one out. Yep. It was a circle with a road through it.

That was it. We had a circle a couple ways out, but yeah. We had one way in, one way out. It was on the edge of Franklin. Yeah. My best friend was three doors down. I was friends with the kid two doors down. Across the street were my brother's best friends.

The other side of the neighborhood was my other good friend. We had everyone ranged from, I don't know, at the time, six to 14. Sure. It's a little gang, dude. Yeah, backyard. There was like 20 of us. Backyard baseball, backyard football, woods in the backyard. Our parents were all outdoorsy, so Halloween time, the woods, they made a haunted trail.

That's fucking cool. Which was amazing. My dad was sitting in tree stands dropping mummies on people and shit. They were charging people to come through it. Neighborhoods would come. What? Yeah, it was the greatest fucking thing. They'd just line up in the field.

Were your parents friends with all the other parents in the neighborhood and they would have neighborhood parties and you guys would go together like bonfires in our backyard and we'd play night games around our house yep it's fucking phenomenal very similar upbringing dude hell yeah greatest childhood you could ask for well then when did you when you got to like your mischievous years did you guys like fuck around with the neighbors and shit yeah um first time i got in trouble with the cops full circle with the Airsoft stuff. Yeah. I got some Airsoft shit too, yeah.

We – I don't know. There was a time where like I think 14, 15, whatever your parents said, you're just like, no. Yeah. And my dad, I had like three buddies sleep over, and he just looks us dead in the eyes. He goes, do not sneak out tonight. We go to the basement, and I go, what time do you guys want to leave the house and we left and we just like like we'll just go ding dong did you'll do whatever and one kid threw rocks at some kid's window we went to someone's backyard we saw our buddy's little brother playing on the computer in the living room. We were creeps.

We were staring through the fucking window. And he went up, and he just slapped the window, and we watched this kid hit the fucking ceiling. And then we went to my buddy Joel's house, and he chased us outside with an airsoft gun as the cops were coming. When the cops came, he ditched the gun into a bush. He got away, and we all got busted for being best curfew. There's curfew in Franklin?

There's curfew if you're under the age of 18 in Wisconsin, I'm pretty sure. I didn't know that. Yeah, I think it's 11 p.m. is curfew. It's a free-for-all in Iowa. Dude, we used to... It started as ding-dong ditching. Actually, when we were little kids, we would do this thing where we would dance. Cars dance like cars would come down like this is a highway this

is so stupid we would like like like kind of try to like flag them down like dancing and then we would like dash off into the woods and then we started like people would stop too and then like we heard about the rope game yeah we would do that and uh then we started ding-dong ditching but eventually like i remember one time this is this is, like, in our neighborhood. Like, you're saying it's not that big of a neighborhood. No, they know who's doing it. Yeah, yeah. And we started as ding-dong ditching.

We got pretty good at that. And then I remember one time one of my friends was like, I'm going to shit on someone's doorstep. Oh, shit, you went this far. And I was like, I didn't. But I was like, how? I mean, yeah, it gets even worse than this. But I was like, how are going to shit on someone's doorstep. Oh, shit. You went this far. And I was like, I didn't. But I was like, how? I mean, yeah, it gets even worse than this. But I was like, how are you going to do that? So he devised this plan to take a shit on a paper plate.

And he carried the paper plate. What's the plan? Shit on the plate? Shit on the plate. And he's going to smear it on the doorstep. So we're in the ditch across the street watching this happen. And he goes up. And I don't know how he didn't see. Because this old lady, she was a lunch lady at our elementary school. We were like years gone. step so we're in the ditch across the street like watching this happen and he goes up and like i

don't know how he didn't see because this old lady she was a lunch lady at our elementary school we were like years gone now yeah and she like opens the door and there's like the glass door she's like watching him we're like tj tj tj and he just like looks up it's like oh shit and fucking ran away we didn't get busted but she watched She watched him take the shit? She was watching him. No, she was watching him smear his paper plate on. She didn't do... It was like... It must have been...

It felt like a year, but it must have been like four seconds. How old was this lady? Did she think he was helping her? She was... I don't know. She was probably trying to figure out what was going on. I don't know. She must have been in her 50s.

You can't... That's not your first guess if that's what they're doing. Because that's so absurd. Yeah. No, exactly. It's not like, yeah that that's what they're doing because that's so absurd. Yeah, no, exactly. It's not like, yeah, this kid's like rubbing shit on my doorstep in this sweet summer evening. Yeah, and then, dude, yeah, we were really naughty. I think the statute of limitations is up.

Then we, so we had Airsoft, but did you have BB guns growing up? Yeah, Pelagons. Pelagons, yeah, well, BB and Pelagons. I got one for you after this, yeah. We started, God, there's so many stories I could tell you. And then eventually we started lighting bottle rockets at houses. And like, I'll never forget one time. You ever heard of Roman Candle War?

Oh, yeah, all the time. We would do it with the bottle rockets. We would like take the rocket part like off the stick. And we'd call it like rocket roulette. We'd light it and throw it in the air and see like if it would like, so it would like zoom past your head and shit. know that's bored dude it's bored there's nothing to do we haven't started drinking yet you know and uh thank god yeah exactly well that that's i used to do a joke about that where it's like drinking saved me from probably getting like killed by

someone who thought was like an intruder yeah uh because then one time we were like my buddy lived like in this town like 45 minutes away he like opened and rolled at our school so no one in this neighborhood knew who we like at all and uh we had these like black cat firecrackers and so we went to go throw him on his porch which is insane to think back but like we didn't know that the overhang of the porch was a tin roof. So it sounded like a fucking bomb going off. And this dude came out of the house so fucking fast and started fucking chasing us. And, like, we used to have, like, we would, like, record it. That was the best when they actually came out. I got someone get in a car once.

Oh, yeah. Oh, me too. Yeah. Oh, dude, I can tell you. I wanted to start a podcast about, like, mischievous stories as a youth because there's so many. Your BB gun story? What's your BB gun story? I got one about a bomb, too.

This is going to be so fun. We often would just shoot the pellet gun. You shoot my milk jugs filled with water. My favorite was my dad let me shoot a spray paint can once. Watching that thing just into the neighbor's yard just paint our lawn was so cool but we're uh we have the family a bunch of family over and my dad built this garden for my mom and it had this like over sure yeah so we put it on top of it and we're shooting at the thing and we're like we're young we miss it a few times or

it's a milk chug it goes through sure well our backyard just made a picture is backyard field woods okay well in the back right corner where we're shooting is a thin strip of woods house oh shit and so we're shooting all of a sudden it's like whoa stop stop someone's coming out and the guy and my dad meet in the field and my dad comes back he goes well apparently um every shot that's missed has gone into the siding of this guy's house as well as one being lodged in his grandson's jacket. Oh my God. Yeah. And he goes,

we're fine. Well, I understand. This is like, this is Midwest. Nice. For sure. Right here.

This is Midwest. And he goes, we're fine. Maybe stop. Yeah. Maybe stop. And this is, this is my favorite part.

Yeah. My dad comes back. He's telling all this and we're like, Jesus Christ. Like, are we okay? He goes, actually, he's seen my truck before. My dad a very recognizable sure granite builders on this i probably should stop out my dad right now

um he goes do you do home remodel construction goes yeah he goes i've been meaning to redo my siding i'll pay you to redo the siding on our house my dad got a job holy shit so my bb gun story was uh similar to that but opposite intent wise because then we used to there was this one house that we like made up it just it got built like after because like all these houses have like been built since the 80s right and then there's this one on this lot that got built and uh it looked like a church but it was like very plain and it's like we like built up built up the switz ago it's like a satanic church so we would go there and we would shoot bb guns at that in the middle of the night shoot bb guns at the house and that is a shitty thing to do but then i for whatever reason i was grounded i couldn't be there

like they all spent the night and uh they were doing it and the dude was like must have been like waiting and like again ran out and chased him but like got one of my friends and then they had called the cops and like he was my buddy who like was kind of like we were all at his house i won't call him the mastermind uh he was like supposed to go over there and like work the chores off and i remember like after like a couple weeks i was like are you still going over there he's like nah i quit going yeah that's i've gotten lucky with stuff like that where i just wasn't able to stay at my just that one time like parents like no you're not staying over and then that's the night all my friends get in trouble and chill thank god you have no shit dude my brothers were my middle brother

are you the oldest i'm the oldest i have two we're all two years apart so i'm 26 24 22 okay uh my middle brother and my youngest brother they were just not good at getting away with shit yeah they got caught for everything yeah they also were just dumb my uh my middle brother he you know what a works bomb is no it's like i'm gonna butcher this but i'm pretty sure it's like toilet bowl cleaner tinfoil oh he built this he built a baby macgyver like at one point he my dad bought us blow dart guns sure all blow dart guns he went into the woods with his buddies shot like 10 frogs with blow dart guns and then threw them on our neighbor's roof so this is the kind of guy he was growing up so he we were all big into like coke

and mentos and exploding shit he just was like zero to a hundred away. Works bomb. I'll never forget this. I'm laying on the couch. My dad is in his office in the back. Your parents are home and he's about to detonate a bomb. Just my dad, which I'd rather my mom home because he could be like, sorry. And my mom isn't going to. Moms are like, you kids. I thought was going to throw my brother through the window.

But my brother goes into the woods. Not even into the woods. He's at the edge of the field. So you can fucking see him okay he's not hiding he's just you can see him yeah all right i have no idea this is happening and i'm watching tv and you're boom the house on my life shook rattled and i as before it was done rattling my dad was already outside he ran through the hallway through the kitchen out the sunroom in the backyard and i think had him by the throat he goes what the fuck was that i'm like dude how did you build that and how are you not dead yeah it's intense he's a chemist now yeah he's a chemist now he's legally blind in one eye now

yeah yeah he actually is but from a disease not yeah no nothing not related no but that that's the best way to grow up i think it's just you have supervision it's not like our parents supervision my dad would always be like yeah we would leave and my parents would like just be back for dinner yeah pretty much no same and they would tell us all the time every christmas they're like we used to climb my dad Christmas, they're like, we used to climb. My dad and his siblings used to climb in the sewers of Milwaukee and sneak into the Milwaukee Zoo. Yeah, that's fucking rad. That's super rad.

I don't think you knew him. He was a comedian that used to come around, but he's crawled around in the sewers. He was like, dude, there's miles and miles of those tunnels. There can be noxious gas, so you can get fucking killed in there. I'm going to be honest. That's not something I will ever aspire to do like i unless there's some tunneling no unless there was some serious like conspiracy that people lived on there yeah the milwaukee sure system milwaukee mole people there is no interest yeah in my body be like you know what

i'm gonna go walk around there today what if it's's like Armageddon? Are you going in the sewers? To save my life, sure. Yeah, okay. Absolutely. Fair enough. Do whatever to save my life. But just, hey, what are you doing today? I'm like, I'm going to go sewer walking.

See, if I had the gear, if someone told me, like, what to, I think I could probably figure out what I need to wear. I'd go in. Check it out. What do you need to wear? Just like a hazmat suit and boots? Yeah, maybe, yeah, bring a respirator. Like, you know, wear some, I won't say bibs.

Wear some waders. Yeah? Yeah. In case you don't know what's in there. Depends on the day. Is it like high water, low water? Sure, yeah, yeah. Well, the thing that I've heard about it is like if you don't have like good flashlight,

you can be walking and then it's just like a 30-foot drop. Oh, shit. Yeah. So you could easily just die. Yeah. I'll crawl around in there. I'm fine. I'll let you do that you you report i'll give you the camera there you go you do a man on the man in the sewer no one's done that before man in the sewer instead of man on the street that's great there we go we'll do a podcast from down there yeah i'm sure there's probably a video on youtube of someone oh for sure there's a video for everything

i hung out in the woods. Did you have any... Behind my house, it was Army Corps of Engineer land, but then they had this horse stable. So there was these huge culverts. We'd just hang out in the culverts as the water ran through. No, we had this tiny little creek that would go through. Not really anything. Yeah.

creek that would go through it not like really anything yeah um it was a dirt bike track and then giant field that we were just went to someone else's backyard and we're digging holes for aerosol boards stuff like that we're building like legit like manholes stuff like that like there was uh i remember discovering it but by the dirt bike thing, we were just like, dude, there's a treehouse back here. Oh, shit. Which is creepy as fuck. Yeah. And we always wanted to get up there. And we found out later, like, right when we told my dad, he goes, oh, I built that.

He goes, I built that for the McKenna boys when they were younger. Nice. Yeah, I wouldn't go up there now. Also, your dad's holding out on you on the treehouse? He had a treehouse and didn't even fucking tell you guys? Yeah. What are you holding out on for, Dad? I don't know.

For me, it was just always, because I've never been up there. Yeah. It was always a mystery, and I'm like, what's in there? Yeah. Nothing. Nothing's fucking in there.

Bunch of record shit, probably. Your dad's right. I'm like, what if there's a body? A body. I think that was always, I'm like, wow, there's a body here. See, I feel like I would be like, what if there's porno mags in there? Two different schools of thought.

For me, my thought, anytime I was in the woods or anytime I'm like out in nature, I'm like, I want to discover shit. Yeah. I told my girlfriend this, I want to go to Egypt so bad because that whole history really entertains me, intrigues me, but I think deep down, I think I'm going to solve something when I go there. You can be Indiana Jones. Like, I'm going to be the one

who's like, hey, guys, there's a door here. We tried this one. Right, right, right. And they're like, actually, you're related to the pharaoh. Only a pharaoh would know this. Exactly.

Ah, damn. Deep down, I think I'm way more important than I actually am. Yeah. But, you know, it makes life more fun I'll take you fossil you want to find some fossils we go find some fossils sure why not

what's your favorite field trip you do canoeing I take them to McGowan to go I like a young Pat Gain I canoe with Pat Gain shout out Pat Gain I know he's a big watcher yeah only when his son's on.

Yeah, well, there you go. Yeah, I do. Pacifico, High Life, Corona Premier, New Glarus, Spotted Cow, Coors Banquet, Bush Light, Miller Light. Damn, dude. You got your liquor license over there? That's insane. Pacifico, please. Thank you.

You got that bottle opener? The most confusing bottle opener of all time? It's only confusing because it's off the wall. Yeah, right. So it hangs like this so you guys can watch me struggle. It took me a while to get it. I did it before. No, you had it.

Lean forward, then back. There you go. I grabbed you one. You didn't grab me one. I'm going to go Pacifico, too. I like the lighter Mexican beers. Me, too. Pacifico is my favorite, probably.

Really? Or Tecate. I think mine is Landshark, and then this is a close second. Is Landshark a Mexican beer? No, it's a Jimmy Buffett beer. Oh, nice. My mom got me on Landshark, and then this is a close second. Is Landshark a Mexican beer? No, it's a Jimmy Buffett beer. Oh, nice. My mom got me on Landshark. I'm not a beer snob at all.

Yeah. I honestly hate most. I don't hate most beers, but I'm not an IPA guy. Are you? I mean, I'll drink. I'm just not picky. It's just, for me, if I'm going to drink beer, it's one of those things where if I'm drinking beer, I'm going to have like six of them.

Yeah. So I'd rather have something I know I can have six of than like IPAs if I have six of them. My mouth tastes like a bag of dicks. Yeah, for sure. A million percent. And your hangover will be fucking horrible. Yeah.

And I've been trying to like do like gin and tonics and it's like, well, I'll have two of these and I'll only have a couple of beers. But I'll have two of those and five beers. And I'm like, fuck, this defeats the purpose. Yeah. Now, beer, not a snob. So, like, my mom showed me Landshark. And it's because I'm not a Corona fan, like a straight, like, Corona extra.

It's got a skunky taste to it. I can drink them. Yeah, what was the one you said, Ultra? Corona Premier. My little brother dropped those off when he was here last. They're not bad. The lighter beers, I'm fine with. I can have six of them.

It'll get me where I want to be, and I don't feel disgusted. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you have a PBR. Are you too good for the PBR? I'm not too good. It's not my favorite. I think PBR tastes like the can it comes in. Well, that's fair. PBR tastes like I'm in a basement in college exactly i don't know a single person

you're all sweaty for nostalgia yeah it's not bad i can drink it that's all we had i definitely what were you drinking in madison when you were a young college lad what was the any hams drinking hams not hams so i didn't drink in high school really oh wow good for you crazy well when your dad's your coach for every sport yeah it's like double punishment like at the high school at the high school oh shit i didn't know that about you and then so i got to college and i i didn't know how to buy booze so like um i found someone i went to college i was like can you get me this i've got like a handle of captain because i didn't know you should just get cheaper shit. I'm going to be broke soon.

And then my mom gave me a case of leftover beer from our family picnic, we call it, when everyone in our family comes to our house. And so I had a case, a 24-pack of Miller Genuine Draft. And that was my first case of beer i ever like owned that is hilarious and i kept it in one of my drawers i didn't even put in because it didn't fit in our fridge so i had warm beers genuine drafts oh my god and i had one and i was like i gave them all away so i'm like 65 or my fucking like 80 year grandfather drinks dude and i don't even know i don't see genuine draft anymore i yeah you're right when i think of miller genuine draft i think of a nascar from the 1990s rusty wallace yeah that's uh yeah it's gone it but in terms of what

i drank you should have kept that case would have been worth something it probably is there's probably one beer still in that drawer that no one's drinking it's just like the mgd drawer um no when it got to like when i was like buying beer consistently i had a fake id and whatnot we were doing madison it was like keystone natty light um you ever heard of cool uh is it like a purple case it's a blue blue case yeah cool light yes there was one that was like sweet and it's like 12 for 30 of them so they got like uh there's this place called tags in madison you could show up with an id that said i'm 12 years old from japan and the picture's a kangaroo and they'd be like they literally touch him like you're good to go yeah all right sweet

nice greatest place on earth and they had this like weird deal where they got like we thought it all fell off a truck but you can buy a cardboard container not a case it just came in like a like a mix and match thing it was just a 24 pack of cool came in like a cardboard like um plate almost um it's just like oh a palette and every time you bought 24 you got a free four pack what the fuck yeah and so we would our big thing was thursdays i'd get out of accounting with my roommate we'd run to tags we each get two 24 packs and two four packs we go into my room we get whoever we can in the house have a power hour oh god power hour and a half god and then i would go to work did you work at a bar yeah ah there you go yeah how did you get your fake id like

was that like when china was like you could buy them online and shit um i don't remember because i was in a fraternity someone else did it for me so they're like just send us 120 bucks you get two yeah ids yeah we'll let you know we just let us know where you want to be from i chose kentucky and my exact home address that's smart though just smart because i was like i know my address all i have to say is kentucky right um but yeah i had those and then we got like minnesota fakes there's a time where like minnesota fakes they were really good because they were no fake ids don't bend yep these minnesota ones they're special because real minnesotas are super pliable sure and these fake

ones were the same material shit but like they could tell yeah they learned after six months sure but for a while they were untouchable interesting they were amazing the first my first i didn't i went to community college straight out of high school but like in like two hours away from my hometown and we were at like they didn't have dorms so we all like had these apartments at 18 which is fucking insane already uh and the very first party that we were at this dude came up white guy important for the story came up and he's like hey man what's your name i'm like i'm aj what's your name he goes uh well people call me city kev it's like okay all right kev he has kev oh like in his fucking blonde white very white dude i was like oh yeah where you from like expecting like chicago's iowa city i'm like all right and we're in cedar

rapids like 30 minutes away he's like you want a fake id and i was like yeah absolutely for sure and he's like all right come to my apartment tomorrow like tell me where he lives and i got like a florida one and i think it cost me about the same, like 100 bucks or something. Yeah. And I like, we had to like find like a place to go, because this is like a smaller Iowa city, not Iowa city, a city in Iowa,

Cedar Rapids. So like I would go to like the town, like part of town that I got like just ravaged by a flood like years before. So it was just like really shitty. I remember going in, and I got all nervous because i was buying it for like everybody so i was getting like four four locos and like two cases of i think keystone light 30 racks and uh the lady was like oh florida huh i was like yeah she's like

oh what are you doing up here and i'm like oh i play football for co which is another university in town and i'm like skinny as shit she was like oh yeah okay sure you do like scanned it that's got to be tough having a fake id in like a no-name town kind of thing she's like everyone's gonna be like bullshit also we know you aj yeah exactly no shit yeah every friday we would get we would always start out with everyone we get a four local like right when four local came out 2000 was it 2010 we're freshmen and like dude starting the life with the four local when you like We would always start out with, everyone would get a Four Loko, like right when Four Loko came out, was it 2010? When we were freshmen, and like, dude,

starting the life with a Four Loko, when you like, I'd been drinking in high school, but not like free range, whenever you wanted. Yeah. We used to get fucking hammered, dude. Like bad, really bad. Four Lokos will fuck you up.

I watched, remember, I think they- Yeah, they legally had to change the formula because it was so bad. They came out, Natural Light came out with a four loco equivalent i think it was called like a natty rush oh god same size i watched my buddy shotgun one yeah and then he's like oh we're good i'm like you're not gonna be okay and we went to one bar asleep and so yeah fucking done the same that same year what same dudes that i hung out with because like the the apartment complex had like security you know they weren't like

really cops we all actually ended up getting like in trouble um through them but same sort of thing like we were like we weren't going to a bar but like our buddy was like hosting like it was all in his place and he like passed out so we all left. And the doors, when they closed, they lock immediately, so we couldn't get back in there. And so he lived on the second floor. And this dude that I knew at the time, I grew up with him too, he was like, what did he do? He was an athlete.

I can't remember what he did at UNI, but just a really strong dude. And he scaled up to the second-level balcony, got in the sliding glass door, and went in and just started blaring music and got out and climbed back down. So it is like, they had an amazing sound system in there. It is like blaring, and this dude is still not waking up.

And so we were just like sitting across the other building because I had a balcony where you could like see. Yeah. And like the security's just pounding on the fucking door, and he does not wake up. They end up like having to like, I think they end up going in there, and he got like like a 60 ticket for a noise complaint because he was passed out on for loco he's lucky it's only 60 yeah i've gotten noise complaint i think we had i had a party for

i'll tell this and then i'll i gotta pee but um we i let one of my good buddies he was a freshman i was a sophomore i'm like you can use my apartment even when you're freshman, you want someone who's going to let you do whatever you want. You don't want to find somewhere to go. So I'm like, my apartment's yours. We threw his 19th birthday party at my place. I'm like, invite whoever you want. I'm going to turn away whoever. I got him blacked out before anyone showed up.

But we ended up getting noise complaint ticket and two underages because we were hosting people and we didn't get busted someone had ecstasy in our bathroom they hotbox our bathroom they just like like single file line otherwise you're getting a ticket for everyone um luckily i was peeing outside when it happened so my roommates got the tickets but i was like obviously i'm gonna help you chip in and you guys agreed to have the party my favorite thing with that is they apparently told my room i was about to come in and um i see the cops and i the other buddy i was like peeing with i was like don't go over there and my roommate sees me he goes what the fuck dude come here right no yeah why would i

add another ticket to this? No. No. Like, I'm not. Absolutely not. And apparently they told my roommates, you need everyone to leave in a single file line orderly. Otherwise, you will get tickets for every person here, which they can do. Why the single file line? I don't know.

They just want an orderly. Fucking what? They're either really cool. Like, they've seen a lot of shit. Of they're like i've had enough yeah what are the aspiring teachers get the fuck exactly and so the guy whose birthday it was and when we graduated i told his mom this story yeah and his mom offered to pay me fucking four years later and And he was the last one to leave. And he looks at the cops and goes, suck my fat cock, motherfucker.

And then left. And they're like, no. And they're like, you're lucky he's the last one. I'm like, it's his birthday. Sorry. Thank God. It's his birthday card. You get out of so much shit.

That's hilarious. I'm going to pee. Are you doing any shows soon? Just do that while I'm peeing. Yeah, what do I got coming up? I'm going to be in April. I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio. Iowa City, Iowa. I don't even know. I got a bunch of local

shit. AJGrillComedy.com You can find that. Follow me on Instagram at AJ.Grill. Grill like a grill. Yeah, I don't know what I got. I should have... Comedy special, yeah. Go to YouTube.

AJ Grill. I'll quit when I'm 30. It is stalling out at 1.5 thousand views. So please, all 700,000 of Michael's listeners, watchers, please watch it 10 times and make me YouTube famous. Okay, you can cut this out. You can just take over the podcast. Also, you got a flashing light. Does that mean that it's low on battery, this camera? Is that a low battery flash on this camera?

No. All right, now I'm going to the flashing light just means it's recording it's actually the one thing I look for every time we do this I've done podcasts and not I've been on podcasts oh yeah we do get it that's the fucking word

alright I'm doing Madison Square Garden April 4th. Yeah. Oh, that would be cool, wouldn't it? That's a good question. You got a dream venue you want to do? Seriously, go check out the special. I'm a little, oh. No one heard me at all.

I had my microphone off. It's all right. I. I had my microphone off. It's all right. I said I turned my microphone off when I went to the bathroom, so no one heard my little promo. Bummer. Don't know. I'll be at Madison Square Garden April 4th.

Me and AJ opening up for, who should we open up for? Yeah. Who should we open up for? Watch the Knicks game. Yeah. Do you have pipe dream venue you'd want to perform at? No. Any club in the country. I mean, that's not true. I would like to...

I mean, go pipe dream. Pipe dream? Pipe dream? I mean, the Comedy Cellar in I mean the comedy cellar in New York comedy cellar in New York that would be I think in terms of like actual comedy

venues that'd be cool if I could ever sell out a place and I'd say this once I would Red Rock that would be rad that would be super cool

those I mean that would be fun to do what's the what's like the most people you've ever played for? Comedy on State. Okay. I mean, that's still a club, though.

Yeah. I mean, I'm barely a year in. Damn, is that right? Technically, I did. Oh, we've talked about this. You took some months off. I did it once, and then I didn't do it again for like five months. That's pretty common.

I feel like a lot of people have that. I just wanted to say I did it once and then I didn't do it again for like five months. That's a pretty common. I feel like a lot of people have that. I just wanted to say I did it before I turned 25 and then I didn't do it until I actually thought about on the way to high note yesterday, it was the one year anniversary of my first show at high note yesterday. Yeah. Oh, nice dude. Yeah. Oh yeah.

That's cool. My first show. And then, so basically a year of me being booked on anything right yeah the the like the the bigger it gets like the harder i like i like it when i can touch the ceiling and stick my leg out and touch the front row of the crowd like i like it do like like intimate like that's like i'm five eight i can't do either but i know what you're saying it's like anytime it's like this that that just like really tight close-knit thing i mean the big venues are cool too and it's fun to like have that many people out there but i like yeah i like the

small intimate like it's just i don't know that where comedy should be. I like it more intimate, too. That's why I think Madison, that comedy estate, it's perfect. That's the best of both worlds. Maybe you can't touch the ceiling, but they're right on top of you. But then it just spans out. It's a perfect size room. It's perfect. It's so fun. Best comedy club on fucking planet Earth.

It's what? The best comedy club on planet Earth. Yeah. I love it. Everyone there loves being there, too. Like, the staff loves being there. I've never seen someone upset that they're at work there. Never.

Never. For sure. And, I mean, there's other comedy clubs that I love, but that one is just, like, I mean, it's been there for 35 years or whatever. Like, they just have it down to a science. They know what they're doing. You see the wall, too, of everyone who's been there yeah all of them say like this is an unbelievable place i mean you listen to any comedy podcast like it will come up that like comedy on state fucking rules amazing

yeah i listen so who's your favorite comedians um got like roy scoble um kyle canane um gosh uh i don't want to butter his biscuit too much Sam Talent is one of my faves to watch I hate that he's never going to see this yeah we'll make him see it I'll send it to him I was supposed to be in Fargo with him this weekend

he's like yeah sorry they already got a feature I was like okay cool dude thank you I have yet to see him he's great he's very He's like, yeah, sorry, they already got a feature. I was like, okay, cool, dude. Thank you. I have yet to see him. He's great. I really want to. He's just, you know, he's very, no one can be Sam but Sam, which is cool. That's what the best, I mean, that's what I love about Roy Scoville, too.

Do you know Roy Scoville? Yeah. I mean, that's like no one can be Roy Scoville but Roy Scoville. Yeah. And honestly, he's getting huge now, but Nate Bargatze also is really fucked. He is. I don't like clean comedy, but I love him. Yep. I absolutely love him.

And it's the same thing. It's just like, he's just himself and that's what's the best. He's one of those comics because it seems like in the last three, four years, he's gone through the roof. Yep. three four years he's gone through the roof yep um where it's just like he stuck with himself so long enough where people finally realize oh this is actually amazing yeah because i've seen his older stuff it's him yep through and through for sure and what he does is super it's not easy to do to make clean comedy i mean clean comedy is more accessible but to make it appealing to

I mean, clean comedy is more accessible, but to make it appealing to everybody like you and me, like, I mean, that's yeah, it's really impressive. Yeah, I like him a lot. I like usually dirtier stuff. I'm more and I like stories. So I like I'm a big cigar guy. Sure. My favorite growing up like when I first introduction to comedy was the blue collar comedy. Oh, yeah.

That was huge. You love this, dude. Absolutely. All right. Can I guess who your favorite one is of the four yeah sure ron white he's i it's either him or bill engel big one yeah building well yeah ron white was definitely my favorite he's dirty and like even then you're like you know you're not supposed to be saying this stuff, which is why I love it. Exactly. And he's got the,

he had the old school. He doesn't do it anymore. Well, I think he does, but he's sober. So it's like, I think it's like Coke or something in the glass. Yeah.

Smoking the cigar and fucking, you know, I thought, I thought that was so cool watching when I was younger, like 12. Yeah. And now when I was older watching, I'm like,

I like, if I drank that, if I refilled my glass and drank that the last 15 minutes of me talking was just and i was smoking yeah that's something i have a cigar nonetheless that's not an easy thing to smoke and talk it's like uh that's how so many people actually throw up like i've seen so many friends throw up like they just drink so much which is basically like the way i put it it compresses your head so you ever drink a lot you feel like your head get like tighter for sure and then the cigar opens you up yeah which i think opens your whole that

you're just out of balance yeah yeah yeah cigar will fuck you up but i love we have the cool you ever been to maduro in madison no okay next time you go yeah instead of going to i won't ruin anything your uh your breakfast place yes watch to the end of the special mutton eggs watch it instead of going there go to maduro it is hands down my favorite bar in madison and i worked at a bar yeah and i got away with murder there can you smoke in there yeah okay you can smoke in there try and get uh it's it's pretty intimate it's about the size of this apartment nice we go in the corner table it's just like a little cut out yeah and the age of 21 22 we go there smoke cigars drink whiskey and just you talk about that's my favorite kind of

hanging out for sure it's basically this drink hang out watch like a youtube video fucking talk about aliens yeah religion politics not religion or politics but like that kind of shit and just make fun of people yeah oh it's amazing it's literally the coolest spot yeah it's so fucking fun well this is a good time to tell you that i'm converting to islam so yeah i don't even have anything to follow up with that try and stay safe that's uh do they sell they must sell cigars there nice they're cool yeah that's where i learned i mean i learned any cigar analogy i have was for sure they're so friendly like we'll cut it for you there's all this and'm a I'm a vacation cigar guy like that's pretty much the only time I but I love I love it and I'll like make them like I don't fucking it's like anything else like you're asking me like about

beer like I'm not like a snob for anything so like no neither am I I don't know about cigars yeah I know give me a small one so I have a big one I'm done sure and then if I really feeling good yeah almost split one with someone well that's that's So I have a big one. I'm done. Sure. And then if I really feeling good, I'll almost split one with someone. Well, that's, that's what I was going to say is like, I'll let, I'll make one of those big ones.

Like if I'm like on like a three day, like fishing trip, I'll fucking, I'll make that fucker last three days, which I think is like if someone who loves cigars would be like, uh, actually, are you kidding me?

That's like a 15 minutes. Yeah. Right. That's an easy burn. Yeah. Yeah. No, I hate that.

But cigars are fun. I would prefer that over my weed tolerance is so low so i can't sure like the people who are like let's just fucking light up yeah nope because i will check out for sure i am done i have conversations always been like that yeah because i've never gotten i never went through a weed phase. Gotcha. So I have no problem with it. I will welcome it. I prefer smoking over edibles, but I have access to edibles more than I do smoking. I don't know how to roll.

I am weed illiterate, basically. Like I'll do five to ten max, and I'm good. Or I'll just take a few hits, feel it. My favorite way to get high is let me get hammered yeah come back throw on comedy smoke a bit and i will laugh my ass off there you go and then pass out and then i'm my roommate are firmly convinced if you take an edible before you go to bed yeah let it kick in a bit yeah then pass Then pass out. No hangover. Interesting. I don't really get hangovers to begin with. Oh, good for you.

It's amazing. Superior genes. Yeah. Son of an alcoholic. Yeah. Well, yeah. Aren't we all, though? Yeah, we are.

We're the Midwest. Yeah. I never subscribed to the like, oh, when you get older, it's going to be different. And now I'm like, fuck, they were right. See, I've heard that all the time. And I've heard my friends who've had massive hangovers throughout college. I'm thankful I didn't have them in college. I'd rather be like you.

They've gotten worse. At least you didn't have them as bad in college. No, definitely not. The kids that had deadly ones. I got a buddy who sees demons on Sundays when he goes out. He literally goes, I close my eyes and I see people. I'm like, that's fucked up. That guy should not be drinking that guy he drinks the most but i asked my dad once we were golfing i go hey out of curiosity um because you're still drinking like he's not really not

that hey dad out of curiosity you ever see demons yeah i'm like you get hung over like deadly hangovers when you get older he goes goes, no, I'm good. Good for him. I'll get like, the worst I get is if I don't sleep enough, I'll get a headache. Yeah. And then if I murder food the night before and it's not good food, I'll be a little like, not nauseous, but like, I don't want to eat. That's why I never got into cigarettes because I figured out pretty quick, like if I was like drunk and like bumming cigarettes off of people i went through a cigarette phase for about a month and a half and then i figured out that i was like dude they make me feel so fucking awful they're disgusting

i uh when you said you're a vacation cigar guy i'm a spring break cigarette guy good for you it was the only time i ever i smoked i hit one cigarette at alpine valley once i thought i was gonna cut like cough out a lot and then spring break i remember sitting on the balcony in uh what's it called something south south padre i knew you were gonna say south padre yeah texas i'm sitting on the balcony and my buddy he's like half asleep but we have a pack of cigarettes between us and be like done we went through a pack and what i thought was 45 minutes i think of it was probably just like let it burn. God damn dude. What spring break is a different demon.

I never did like the party spring. Like, uh, I will, I mean, I went to a very crunchy hippie school. So like we went out to like, I remember we,

this girl that lived next to us, she was the president of the bike club. And, uh, she was basically like, yeah, we got like, uh, $5 thousand dollars from the university

that we have to use up do you guys want to join the bike club and go on a free trip to utah we're like fuck yeah for sure and like we got him with these two dudes we thought we're gonna be kind of fucking lame and then as soon as we crossed the border into colorado they're like oh we're gonna stop at this gas station which was conveniently next to a dispensary yeah and then we were like okay these guys are gonna be fine yeah and we ended up having a fucking fantastic time in moab that was super fucking fun but i never did the like yeah the south padres or the uh what's the one in florida panama city beach good for you my freshman year we did panama city packed into my mazda drove down and

then i did my sophomore year i did uh south padre and then my junior year i know my senior year or i don't know what it was one of them my other my friends new friends i made like we need to go somewhere i'm like i'll go anywhere but south padre and then they're like i'm like just pick it and then they're like all right we pick south padre i'm like motherfucker i'm going back how did you so you fly into south padre you can't drive we drove yeah you have to drive bridge yeah okay it's like a 26 hour drive j Jesus Christ. So we did it the same way. Both times is, is that when I was kids?

I wasn't like super close with the first time. The second time it was like my best friend. So I'm like, it was the same people. No. Okay. Gotcha. Um,

but we went down there. You stop at TCU. You get drunk at TCU, sleep in the parking lot of the football stadium, drive to South Padre blackout twice a day for five straight days. One of your buddy gets an ulcer and falls asleep in the parking lot of the football stadium drive to south padre blackout twice a day for five straight days one of your buddy gets an ulcer and falls asleep in the shower i was gonna ask who got the most fucked up okay that guy for sure then you drive back stop at kansas drink at kansas and then nice go home oh and also on the way there stop at this the biggest casino in the

u.s i believe or one of them it's like the wind's gotta be in texas oklahoma okay surprising there we found it the first time and then when i told my buddies the second time i was like i promise there's a casino because it's just like it seems like desert yeah just like vast land it's just a mirage dude and then it just shows up like holy fuck this is you get lost in there yeah it's insane. But yeah, spring break's fun. I did one other one to Arizona to visit my buddy, and he had his spring break the week before, and then he goes, fuck it, I'll just take another week off.

Good for him. Where did he go, Arizona State? U of A. Okay, well, they're all the same. You got me a beer. A little less grimy. Yeah, what do you want? I'll do a mix and match.

Take whatever you want. Let's try one of these Corona Premium premiere skinny bitch 90 calories it worked out today so you know i gotta gotta stay i did a little run i was like if i'm gonna i plan on you're running with your little hit me that bottle opener you're running with the uh the appendice the appendicitis now yeah oh you're back i didn't i guess i didn't gather that. Yeah, I'm back. I'm at like 90. I feel like a weak little bitch, which I'm definitely not. I mean, I work out for a living, which sounds terrible to people.

But I could do probably a five-minute montage of you fucking with that. Please do. There you go. And then back. Oh, you got it. I don't think that was the right way at all um but yeah i'm probably at like 90 percent of what i was doing before my core though i mean i got three incisions into my core and then what i thought was a turkey baster going me to get that abscess out. So that's pretty weak right now. Yeah. And I did like one core exercise last Friday and I felt it till about today.

Did that, did the abscess, did that, cause you said you're going to go visit your girl. Yeah. Did that like, did that give you points or you're like, sorry babe, I got an abscess. She's like fucking gross dude. We got to rethink things. No, she was actually the exact opposite. She's like like you need to be like walking so like we want to walk i didn't want to walk like it hurt yeah so after

all that trying to pee and your bowel movements are the worst fucking thing oh god like after the surgery i felt the shit go through my body and then when it got to like your waistband area it was like pins and needles and i'm like ah it's like a kidney stone for your butt yeah and then after i peed after the the abscess it would always hurt like right here by even peeing hurt it the act of peeing didn't hurt but afterwards it would like trying to stretch it was always super tight and so i was like it's not fun to walk and she's like you need a fucking walk she's a nurse like get she's like oh she is yeah she's like get over it i'm like all right and to be honest it was good because it was i said on one of the other

episodes i hope she called you a pussy basically yeah but i needed it because i think it broke up like a lot of scar tissue or something like that. And I was, when I left that weekend, yeah, that's the best I'd felt. So you did go visit her. Yeah. Oh wow.

What a trooper. It was, well, I got out of the hospital Sunday and then like, all right, you have a followup, you have a CT scan Wednesday, and then you have a followup with your doctor Thursday morning.

I was like, my flight's Thursday afternoon. You're like, well, you'll find out thursday morning if you can go i'm like i fucking hate you guys jesus christ and i got my ct scan back like it looked i got worried yeah because it said um my white blood cell was still elevated basically you want it to be like an 11 or lower okay mine was at like 12.9 12 and a half something like that i was like fuck so i was like i was upset i was like i can't go back to the hospital i can't spend more money and they were like abs i read the thing i had my girlfriend readers like it says abscess is gone all that like they think it's just inflammation the doc's like yeah you can go

i was like cool he's like if it hurts then go to the hospital yeah if it hurts to pee it can't feel good to come i couldn't i bet not dude i said it the last thing to wake up they told you uh they told me with anesthesia is your dick they're like it's one of the last things to wake up and so when i went to pee the first time i honestly peed down my leg i literally like the normal distance you have from the toilet and i was like fuck i was over the toilet yeah and just like had to point my dick down and just let it fall that's insane it sucked it took me like 15 minutes to pee every time i was like i i remember coming out and the nurse like how was it i'm like

i'm 90 yeah right exactly yeah what did you do to the nursing home fuck dude yeah it was a very humbling experience but um i forgot who oh chris met yesterday i was like i'm surprised you like you came back to comedy i'm like i have new material yeah you gotta have yeah a couple new minutes on that i got almost dying having an abscess you realize how much when you can't do anything you realize how much you miss and like what you really want to do for sure and i think that's what the pandemic did for all of us yeah for sure i got so bored during it yeah that's when i took up fishing again i started fucking fishing i learned how to cook and now it's one of my favorite things i love cooking yeah for sure i have every kitchen apparatus you can think of.

No shit? Almost. Name something. I probably got it. You get a Blackstone griddle? Okay, not that. Got them first try, folks. I live in an apartment.

That was an easy one. I do have, at my mom's, there's a, what's the, why am I, Traeger. Oh, the grill or a smoker? Yeah, Traeger smoker. I could probably just put like a black stone on there. You probably could, yeah. That's cool. I have a smoker at my house, but it's a.

Charcoal one? No, it's electric as a matter of fact, but it's a local reference. It's Gary Zajikowski's. Because we got into fishing. And he's like, yeah, I'm going to buy a smoker. And we caught some fish. And we smoked at my house once. He's like, yeah, just keep it here.

So I've had it for like two years. I just have Gary's smoker. I smoked the Thanksgiving turkey this year. Love it. Yeah. Oh, smoked turkey? I don't like turkey. I brined the turkey the night before smoke it

best turkey i've ever had my entire life same oh my incredible amazing but now he bought a house so now i'm losing my smoker because gary can afford a house and i can't gary bought a house really yeah gary bought a house shout out to gary i would give you address but it's a sweet house too i'm fucking a little pissed off i tried to to buy my house in the house that I live in. I think it was 2021, and they basically just laughed me out of the bank. Really? Yeah. I don't have bad credit.

I just have no credit, which I guess is worse. I don't know if you know that. Probably. I think zero is worse than one. Yeah, it's bullshit. It's all rigged, folks. Okay? Credit scores don't mean anything

credit scores you want to buy a house and you credit scores credit scores are like when i used to like my little brother i would see that we'd be watching tv and he'd have a gogurt and i'd be like damn i kind of want a gogurt and i'd be like drew i'll time you to go get me a gogurt i'll hold yours while i wait and he'd run i would eat a little bit of his gogurturt and he would come back and i would give him his go-gurt with a little bit less and i would have a full go-gurt and then he'd be like what's my score and i was like i don't know yeah seven you know oh were you the oldest uh no i had a i had an older brother um he uh this is good content he died when i was 18 but so then after that um i mean i'm the older oldest brother now but now he was uh he's my half brother so like i was and i wasn't you know what

i mean because he had split custody um so sometimes i was sometimes i wasn't but yeah i got uh the group of three brothers so and you had two i had two two, yeah. No sisters? No sisters, no. They got four boys trying for a girl. Yeah, three boys. I don't know what they were trying for, but landed on us. There you go. It was chaos at all times. You ever wish you had a sister? Mm-mm.

I don't either. I was like, you needed a sister growing up so you guys knew how to talk to women and stuff like that. I was like, eh, but that's not that fun. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think, dude, my dad, no it no i'm no they wouldn't have survived i wouldn't be i wouldn't be who i am if i had a sister my sister would be a tomboy for sure yeah it's either that he almost have to be if you have that many brothers especially if you're young like if there was a younger sister over the top yeah yeah exactly to compensate for the testosterone

that's coursing through so much testosterone and then once oh god I don't mean to make this up but once my mom died dude it was just a house full of dudes

so I was it was a frat house it was it was exactly what it was I was 15 my next biggest brother was 13, 14

my next biggest brother was 10 and my oldest brother was 17 18 and just like dude it was just a fucking free-for-all like it was chaos yeah it ended up fine we're all we're all functional but i remember i turned 18 and he might have done this anyway but like at this point like my dad sleeps like me like he just will pass out and snore and like can't hear it so i was like staying out to whatever i wanted from, like, 15 to whatever. But I turned 18, and he's like, well, you're 18, so you don't have a curfew anymore, but just don't be an idiot.

So I'm, like, half, the second half of my senior year of high school, I could just do whatever I wanted. Yeah, I didn't turn 18 until late, so I couldn't check. Were you allowed to check yourself out when you were 18? What does that mean? So. Like, leave early? Yeah yeah when you were 18 high school you could check yourself out yeah our school we didn't have to do that it was just like you don't have class you just fucking so many times and then you're like are you're missing you have x amount of days you have to be in school yeah um because i remember one year we had too many snow days like they asked

us like hey do you want to stay an extra five minutes every day for the rest of the year or do you want one extra day at the end of the year like what yeah that's insane add 30 seconds each class right yeah yeah there you go like who fucking cares but no i uh where was i gonna go with this when was uh what age were you allowed to stay home alone i was thinking about this recently just because uh man i want to say like getting off the bus like i don't know like fourth grade we would get like my parents would leave and if my older brother was there like i don't know i must have been like 9 10 because he would have been like 14 maybe even younger than that but then i would say nobody and nobody out but i remember getting off the bus and like no one would be home for like a couple hours so like that was dude i loved

that time that was oh yeah i love my alone time to this day i love my oh yeah yeah like no i like when no one's in this apartment it's just me i could just sit on my phone on this couch for sure love it yeah i don't i don't even want presents near me exactly it's it's nice i love i love my girlfriend very much that's why i was late today because I had the house to myself. And I'm like, I'm going to be 45 minutes. I'm going to just revel in this a little bit. Yeah. It's amazing.

And I was like, when you're like, I'm going to be a little later. I'm like, fine. I'm just going to sit here. No, I asked because I remember I hated when I was being the oldest. I'm like 13. I'm allowed to watch my brothers. I was like 10 or 12. I was like, watch your brothers. We're going to go somewhere. I'm like 13 i'm allowed to watch my brother yeah i was like 10 or 12 i'll watch

your brothers we're gonna go somewhere i'm like okay cool and then when my youngest brother is like 10 12 they're like can you stay and watch your brother i'm like i was watching them when i was 12 they can watch themselves right exactly and it was i fucking hated watching i bet you did oh my god the plight of an older brother. I hate it. Well, they would be, because the worst thing a parent can do is tell the person in charge, like a brother, like, Hey,

you need to make sure they do their chores. I'm like, they don't listen to you. They ain't gonna fucking listen to me. So I'd be like, Andrew goes like, you need to sweep the kitchen and do the dishes. And he's like,

no, I'm like, you need to fucking do it. My brother has pulled a knife on me. i'm like you need to fucking do it my brother has pulled a knife on me i'm like he goes fuck no i'm like okay yeah he has called the cops for what for because you're gonna make him do the dishes basically i was like i was trying to get him to do chores and then your siblings were like they're like i'm gonna call mom and dad i'm like you do realize you call them, it's going to get worse.

Yeah, right. It's going to get fucking worse. And he goes, I'm going to call the cops. I'm like, don't call the cops. And all of a sudden, I let my guard down for a second. And I'm like, okay. I look over. I'm like, the phone's gone.

When we had house phones. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm like, the phone's gone. I'm like, Andrew? And you hear nothing. I run to his room. And he's fucking, he's got it in his thing.

He's got dispatch. I hit him. I never forget this i ran to his room i hit him so hard the batteries came out of the phone now the cops have to show up they're like this kid i was like did you dial it he goes yeah i'm like did you hit call it goes i don't know i'm like what the fuck and i was like okay i'm like i think i i'm like it was like a call hang up i thought i got there just in time. Fucking 20 minutes later, squad cars out front door. They're like, is there a problem? I'm like, Andrew, you need to come fucking tell them what's going on.

I was like, no, it was just a missed dial and stuff like that. I'm like, God. Did they tell your parents? No, they left. Damn. They trusted us. That's hilarious. I love that it was 20 minutes later.

Like your brother could have been an actual danger. Yeah, there was no rush. It was just like Yeah I'm gonna go check on this Oh fuck I called the cops When I was like two or three

My parents said I just like found the phone Yeah Hit 911 Hit 911 Which like is tough to do I mean We had to be intentional

You probably saw it On like a Probably Yeah And just like in your brain 911 I was just talking to them Wasn't actually saying

words and they showed up my parents like why are you here like uh your kid i think called 9-1-1 so you get if you didn't uh you said you didn't drink in high school so you never like had any parties at your house no never had parties in my house never really well the thing is i didn't when people started drinking in high school yeah i had like basically one two friends in high school i didn't hang out with a lot of people i had like i did sports and i had a lot of friends but like the kid i hung out with the most we didn't do a whole lot we didn't drink so once we basically like we're not going to these we never were invited to gotcha yeah i had it was just after high school but i had uh like six cops in

my house that was not fun because you said you lived in a circle neighborhood, right? And, uh, this dude does watch a lot of my comedy shit. So if you hear this TJ, sorry, uh,

he, dude, it was, it was a perfect, like my dad, like I was, it was, we were freshmen in college and he was like,

even in high school, like he knew what we were doing, but like, he didn't care as long as we weren't stupid. But like this one just like kind of got out of hand like people told people those people told more people next thing i know i have like 40 fucking people in my dad's house we have like a pole barn in the back so like we're in the barn project x type shit yeah yeah and uh so we were like kind of like getting it to like

wind down and this dude who i grew up with lived around the like literally you it's a circle neighborhood you go around the curve and his house is like right there he had a pool and we're like we're gonna go over there for like just a few of us like after like have a pool party we had like you know all these people that we hadn't seen in a long time going and he was like trying to impress this girl for whatever reason he was like gonna like drive her there like no we'll just fucking walk you know yeah and he gets in his car and fucking misses the curve which he's driven a thousand times probably more than a thousand times misses the curve goes down this ditch up over the driveway down the next ditch and hits this retaining wall and we are from that moment i'm like we are fucked oh absolutely yeah next thing

we have people like the cops like because i'm like all my friends that are still like hiding in like my dad's house and so the cops, because then all my friends that are still there are hiding in my dad's house, and so the cops would go through. My little brother at the time was probably 13, maybe, and one of my buddies was hiding. A couple of them were hiding in the closet, and the cops kept coming in his room with a flashlight, which probably scared the shit out of him

to find my buddies in the closet all drunk, like, ah, shit, dude. You caught me. Yeah, and then the littlest dude of the whole place was the fucking one that was giving the lip to the cops. Dude, goddamn. It's always us small guys. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. It's little guy syndrome. It is, for sure. We're compensating for lack of everything. You ever lipped off to a cop? No. Okay. Well, no.

I've seen my buddy lip. Actually, yes, once. That summer, the Airsoft summer, you know what I'm talking about? So later, the following year, I played lacrosse in high school. Nice. And we had this end-of-the-year party at one of the kids' houses, parents and all. And all the high school guys were hanging out in the front yard just kind of like we're too young or too old to play games with our little siblings too young to

go sit with the parents in the backyard so we're all just kind of like what the fuck do we do like this is for us but not at all yeah and all our little siblings are paying um basically like neighborhood tag, like hide-and-go-see tag. Sure, classic. And they keep annoying our parents, like, go play with them for a game. So we go, and I'm like, we'll count, go hide. I'm like, we're not going to try that hard.

Yeah. And as we're counting, this group of kids from our high school, like band kids, actual band kids, come up. I'm like, what are'm like what are you guys doing like we're playing neighborhood tag with our siblings they're like can we play i'm like fucking sure yeah yeah okay go hide and so we tell them to go hide and they run down the street it's nighttime and they round the corner and as they round the corner a squad car turns its lights on and starts chasing them. We're like, what the fuck? And so we're dumb.

Like, you see cop cars when you're, like, in high school. Like, we got to go. The day before, half the guys in this group ran into a Chinese restaurant, screamed Godzilla, and then ran out. What? ran into a Chinese restaurant, screamed Godzilla, and then ran out. So they're like freaked out about the cops. So they're like fucking run. One got caught. Like they chased him with a bat. I'm like, first of all, wrong race.

Yeah, exactly. That's what I was going to say. Also, what are these? The cops are like, these are the Godzilla kids. We got to get them. Like flip on the cherries, boys. We got the Godzilla kids. say also what are these the cops are like these are the godzilla kids we gotta get them like flip on the cherries boys we got the godzilla kids well so the cops end up there was a ding dong disturbing the peace call which i think were the band kids and so they see us well they see these

kids running so they chase them we don't know is another squad car is behind us so we were like do we gotta book it yeah no reason we had done nothing wrong all we're doing is just playing neighborhood tag we shouldn't be running through people's yards but whatever yeah so we book it and as we're booking it we hear get on the ground now and my buddy jared and i are in the front and we kept going going. He goes, now. And I Superman'd both of us in the ground. And his house is literally through the backyard of the next. We're like, okay. So there's like 10 of us.

We're on our knees, hands on our head, at gunpoint, flashlight. What the fuck? Yeah. at gunpoint flashlight what the fuck yeah and earlier that summer whatever i had or the summer before i had gotten this curfew thing yes 9 45 at night right okay it's dark enough yeah 9 45 and i he goes you guys because uh we got disturbing the peace call we're like that's not us we're thinking it's our little siblings yeah those guys are like that's not us we're thinking it's our little siblings yeah those guys are like that's not us they're like um large group of guys like this is probably you guys i'm like it's not as he goes well you're at least out past curfew like and i finally i'm in front i go no we're not yeah and my buddy hits me he goes shut the fuck up i'm like i'm not getting another one yeah right yeah

and he goes well you guys are lucky you didn't keep running. I would have released the dog on you. They had a disturbing the peace call, brought a dog, and then backup came. What the fuck? Yeah. And so he's like, you guys are out past curfew. And I go, sir, we're not. Curfew is 11 o'clock. It's not even 10 o'clock right now.

He goes, by the time he came back to me, he was like, well, it's 10.05. You guys are out past curfew. I'm like, it's 11 o'clock. He goes, I've got the ticket, dude. I literally will let, like, you can ask whoever. It's not 10. Yeah. And they end up letting us go. And we're like, so we don't tell our parents this.

Like, we were just held at gunpoint at all. Dude. Fast forward the next school year. Fall, winter is when basketball season is in high school. We're watching a basketball game, and I go, my buddy hits me and goes, dude, is that? The guy works security at our basketball games too. The cop that pulled the gun on you. The cop.

He was on high school basketball duty. Held us at gunpoint. Gunpoint, dude. Oh, my God. I've been held at gunpoint. My middle brother's been held at gunpoint. Gunpoint, dude. Oh, my God. I've been held at gunpoint. My middle brother's been held at gunpoint in a way scarier way. I've been, someone has attempted to kidnap me. What?

What? Yeah, it's bad. My brother, this red car came up to my brother once, and they put a gun to him. He goes, what high school do you go to he's like uh franklin and i'm like okay and they drove away i was like dude that was a oh were they young kids i don't i don't know he just told us that we're like what the fuck what the fuck yeah and then the the kidnapping one i said it before but like basically i was dog sitting for one of my good friend's families.

And this dog, Boomer, super docile. Whoever he knew, super friendly too. Even new people didn't bark and all that. But I go into the house. I leave the garage open. I put him on the leash. And as I'm closing the garage and leaving, he starts pulling. I'm like, what are you doing?

He's barking. I turn around and there's this old man. He's got to be like 73. How old are you? Let's call me 16, 17. Okay, yeah. And he's like, hello, how are you? I'm like, hi.

He goes, do you mind putting the dog away and this dog is going nuts i'm like holding him back i've never seen him before and like weird intuition dogs yeah it's freaking lassy and he goes he's scaring me can you put the dog away i go no um he goes do you know where waukesha is one i don't yeah right that way yeah he goes not mind if we like talk for a second like can you please put the dog away he's scaring me i'd like just a one-on-one conversation with you i go no no absolutely not what the fuck and he get closer and the dog just jumps i'm like hey yeah like i don't want you to murder this yeah he goes well can you just show me where walk show is i'm like again that way you know the best way together i'm like i don't i need to walk well, can you just show me where Walker Show is? I'm like, again, that way? He goes, do you know the best way to get there? I'm like, I don't.

I need to walk this dog. Can you leave? And so the way the neighborhood was, the entrance is here, circle, line through. His house is like right there. I'm like, you need to go. He drove and went down the street. He didn't leave. I never saw him leave.

I told my parents. The cops came to our house like 30 minutes later and got a report. That's insane. Yeah. My roommate just showed up. What drinks are you guys making? What's up, guys? Margaritas and gin old fashioned.

Nice. Do you want one? Yeah, dude. I'll take it. You said a gin old fashioned? Have you ever had one? Start with Margaritas. Do you want that?

Yeah, dude. Whatever. I'm easy. I'll take whatever. Have you ever had a gin old fashioned? No, never. We got new up. where do we have it the bar across from high note yeah my the first show rosies or stella yeah uh stella's yeah he's like the guy was like do you want us to make you something like sure and it was actually really fucking good yeah um would you is it gin old

fashion and old fashion though i mean if it's made the same way, if it's, can you choose, like, sweet or sour or whatever? Yeah. Like, is it, yeah, fuck yeah. So an old-fashioned. I didn't grow up here, so I don't, like, really, like, old-fashioned is when I moved to Wisconsin. Like, that was, like, a huge thing. And, like, now I don't know. I mean, I'll order them, but, like, I don't know if I like sweet or sour.

I just, like, I'll roll the dice. Just give me whatever you have. Yeah, I'll roll the dice. Well, we went on a ski trip, and he ordered a gin old-fashioned general fashion and our other buddy was like that's not an old-fashioned because what it is and he was like adamant it's not it's in the name you get a whiskey old-fashioned you get a brand new fashion you get a tequila or gin one if you want tequila tequila dude i fuck with tequila i don't know if i would do it in an old- no i don't think i like i like gin though gin's good you got to be in the mood for tequila yeah uh we're talking about drinking in high school i again this is like i had like free reign or whatever and i dated this girl

who had a fake id i don't even remember how she got it but she had this fake id so we would go to this liquor store in des moines and this is 1800 tequila like just i don't even remember how she got it, but she had this fake ID. So we would go to this liquor store in Des Moines and this is 1800 tequila. Like just, I don't know if it just came out, but they did this like limited like bottle run. So it would be like school nights and we would be, she'd be in her room getting shithouse on 1800 tequila

and we would keep the bottles and we would like put the bottles up in her room. Such a high school college. Dude, but it was like, it had like art on it. Oh yeah, exactly.

To save the booze. And her parents knew like, it was like, dude, I was like, would like leave her house, I would leave her house at 3 in the morning and get home. I mean, I would fall asleep at her house and then wake up and have to go to school. Again, if I do that today, dude, fuck no way. Fuck no. Absolutely not.

But yeah, silver tequila I can fuck with, but not in an old-fashioned. No. Gold tequila, never. Never. Never. It's just Jose Cuervo. It looks like I'm going to throw upquila I can fuck with, but not in an old-fashioned. No. Gold tequila, never. Never. Never. It's just Jose Cuervo. It looks like I'm going to throw up. I can't.

To this day, I can't drink spiced rum because that was one of the first things that I got drunk on. Or any Diet Coke. No way, dude. I can't. Red Gatorade for me. Really? Did you mix booze and Gatorade?

Yeah. For me, I think... Well, one, I think Red Gatorade. The Fruit Punch or whatever? That's the worst flavor. It's syrupy. It is. It's syrupy.

It actually tastes like a sugary drink. One, I can't drink regular Gatorade anymore. It has to be the zero sugar kind because I think it's so sugary. But I think we had red Gatorade and vodka or something like that. First time I was ever drunk. Like drunk, drunk. I mean like fucked up. Yeah, it time I was ever drunk. And like drunk, drunk. I mean like fucked up. Yeah,

it's formulated to go to your blood. Yeah, it's going to get you fucked up, dude. It was red Gatorade and vodka and then homemade twisted tea. And then to that, to the day,

this day, I will still make that twisted tea sometimes because I thought it was so fucking good. They just put in like one of those giant Gatorade things. Okay. And they throw on you after you eat it. Sure, yeah you after you sure yeah yeah two you get the cheapest vodka you can you just gotta get the boss boston twins like mr boston to uh vodka and then arnold palmer um tea yeah lemonade you like and it's amazing that's way better than the canned shit that sounds good

we uh we're talking about college shit i used used to have like, what did you drink? We talked about beer. Did you drink liquor in college? Yeah, Burnett's. Burnett's. Burnett's. I have, still one of my best friends to this day. He used to do, it wasn't Captain Morgan.

Ron Diaz. Huh? No, no, no. No, no, no. Lord Calvert. Shut up. Lord Calvert whiskey. And he used to do math in like Lord Calvert handles.

Like we'd be like, if it was like he got 20 bucks, he's like, yeah, dude, that's a handle. It's a handle of Lord Calvert, dude. That's what I used to do for car rides when I was younger. I'm like, that's three Power Ranger episodes, right? That's how long we're going to get there? Yeah, exactly. Oh, fuck. Yeah, Jakeake what else did we drink just burnett's ron diaz was our whiskey um ron diaz that sounds like a ufc fighter ron diaz is the only booze i've i've never like cool light i told him the cool story yeah ron diaz is the only rum whiskey Any dark liquor I've ever seen

Freeze in the freezer We put it Freshman year my kid down the hall Put it in the freezer Let's just get drunk on our last day before we leave We pulled it out and this is frozen solid This is not good liquor at all Liquor should not freeze

So we had the girls next door hair dryer And we were just blowing on it To melt it You're going to put it in some warm water like the hair dryer that's the hair dryer let's melt some of this plastic we were i i'm proud of this but dorms are small yeah like i never had to do one so i've been in them when you don't know a lot of people um at the school yet you gotta improvise on how you're gonna do your pre-games and stuff like that so i found underneath the beds are these two like plywood boards and so what we did is or what i did is i took the chairs from one room and the chairs from another room and you put them together and you put the plywood boards from underneath someone's mattress on there and you made yourself

a beer pong table oh look at you play beer pong that's how we got drunk like every night hell yeah that's great yeah i uh because i went to like this crunchy hippie school we used to you ever i know i know you're gonna say no to this you ever like dumpster ever go dumpster diving have i ever gone dumpster i've jumped in a dumpster i've never actually looked for stuff dude we would go to the liquor store and we would go behind the liquor store and like every once in a while there would be like a like a case of miller light that like one of the cans exploded yeah so they couldn't so they would throw it away we would just like load up our backpack one time my buddy pete and i we went to uh rocky rococo's pizza that's one of the ones we would like check out and we found

like this trash bag full of still warm like the personal pizzas like 30 of them dude so we took we like we had grabbed another trash bag like slung them over our shoulder rode our bikes to this house party we're just like passing out like rocky rococo's pizzas dude it was the fucking best it was it was so fucking dumpster pizza in a 29 pack yeah exactly dumpster pizza in a 29 pack baby it's every college kid's dream. Yeah, man. You don't got to pay for it. Super fucking fun. Are you making Margs or Old Fashioneds first?

All right. Well, you want to wrap this up? Yeah. Have a drink? Yeah, sounds good to me. Anything else you want to do to promote yourself? Just watch the special, AJ Grill. I'll quit when I'm 30.

Here Here Presents. Yes, Here Here Presents. Thank you. Follow me on Instagram at AJ.grill gonna be on the road a lot this spring so

looking forward to it gonna do one where we just reminisce on the the younger years like you said in your

podcast about the mischievous yeah I'm thinking I want to do like a mischievous like younger years podcast you can be my

first guess you can have these three cameras if you want to use them all right I mean it

I'm trying to get people to use them more and just build yeah you invested in them yeah you do an umbrella thing and have we have a set following already and it would just branch out on the same yeah tick tock that you know yeah you have an established audience already hell yeah all right look for that cheers man thank you all righty