Fat Chance Podcast - Ep.72 - Judd Reminger

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Every heard of a Window Ham. Tune in to see why Judd still might have a warrant out for his arrest.

You could do it. Just me in gray sweatpants, and they're like, heck yes, and then all of a sudden, boop, comedy. Actually, if you want views, this one, a lot of people, I don't wear shoes during it, a lot of people are obsessed with my feet, so if you want people to see this, take the shoes off, put your socks on. Let's get this going. Put your feet up.

Do you have a feet finder? That's probably the best thing like when i always like you interview comics or something they generally know how to work a microphone yeah it's talking to the top of it yeah i had a my buddy's wife she's an olympic curler great guest to have she's an olympic curl olympic curler um but she did this with the microphone like oh it's great you know i i love being here and i was like just trying to like focus on what she's saying but at the same time just like grab her and like it's so hard especially you tell them once and you're like i don't want to be an asshole but like just fucking glue it right here the whole time and don't let it move like if you're gonna just go with it yeah just eat the microphone that's what i know they they tell you not to bite into it but like just eat it

ice cream cone yeah speak up it's it's weird i think people there's two people two kinds of people when i interview them not i don't interview anyone but uh they either get really loud because like oh this is a performance now or they just get really reserved because like oh there's a microphone here and there's cameras the cameras is what scares people the most i i think so and it's like also when when you're in a room with someone talking you just want to match their energy and that's like the best thing to do is just like hey if he's being loud you'd be loud. If he's being quiet, you be quiet. You know, just match their energy.

And some people are naturally more loud than others, but. True. Like we talked before, you got a Josh Siegel on here. Oh, yeah. And then you have someone who's just like a little church mouse. I do. It's not going to work out. I do want to ask who was the two people that hated one another?

Oh, from. You said you were. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they both hated one another um oh from you said you were oh yeah and they both hated one another oh um i don't even care now because they won't watch this it was uh like a hate triangle between simba cody heck and maria acosta oh it was maybe it's we're all just like fuck these guys i'm like guys i've been here for two months you're coming on the podcast and all you're doing is telling people they suck i don't get in the drama i don't get in the milwaukee comedy scene drama as much as uh i guess the newer comics i don't care yeah like i have to go home and go to work like i'm not worried about what someone's five they did at a open mic yeah it's

not gonna bother me i will forget about it by the time i get home yeah i couldn't even said what i said on last time i got on stage exactly i will forget most of my set which is not good but do you record them no i need to do more i thought about it but i don't know when i once i get on stage the last thing i think of is like, oh, just go hit record. Yeah. I just grab the microphone. I'm like, just start talking. The good thing Rich DeMore once told me is he goes like, record your sets and then play

it in your car with like music in the background. So it seems like it's more natural with your voice. Like you won't think it's you then. You know, at least you have some sort of background noise because otherwise you're going to get annoyed with your voice. Like you won't think it's you then. You know, at least you have some sort of background noise because otherwise you're going to get annoyed with your voice. Oh my God, I hate, I hate re-listening to these. Oh yeah, editing these are a nightmare because you're like, I shouldn't have said um there

or I shouldn't have paused. I've gotten better with it. I've done over 70 of these now. I've done a lot and it's it's easier to listen to it's just my big issue is like i just did this and i'm reliving it again and i just like oh i i get halfway through editing and i'm like maybe i should just put the rest out like who cares you know like why am I editing all the ums and the spaces? Yeah, I'm surprised you still do that one.

I do the same thing but with, I'm like, why am I cutting between two people? Because I get enough listeners where I'm like, it makes sense to do it and I can do it for like social media. But at the end of the day, I'm like, I should just have one camera on the two of us just put it on there and to be fair you do good cuts where like someone will be laughing and you still have the auto audio from you and when they stop laughing that's when you cut yeah which is good i mean it's a good cut i try i try sometimes i'm like

you know what i will literally just go through i'm like oh that one wasn't. Sometimes I'm like, you know what? I will literally just go through it. I'm like, oh, that one wasn't good. But I'm like, you know what? I don't want to do this anymore. And I just keep going. Trash this podcast. All right. Who is the worst guest you had on here?

And why was it Avery Rappier? I know Avery is probably the only one who's going to watch this. I don't know who's the worst i've had on here the worst guest i've had on here is the one person that told me i couldn't put it out oh really yeah and it's one of my buddy's girlfriends and she wasn't a bad guest it's just the fact that i went through before i really learned how to edit i took like three days to get all this done instead of it i could do this all in a day now yeah a few hours and i really sit down but i edited it in three days i put it out it was out for like an hour and i'm like all right it's got

it's getting like actually some traction because it was one of the first couple episodes i'm like oh we have like someone's looked at it and i get a text like 10 o'clock in the morning like hey can you please not put the episode out i'm a teacher they're gonna find this i'm like you didn't say anything bad and so i had to delete it and i could never put it out i'm like that was a waste of a week basically it's just a lost episode yeah so i now just don't have one for if you could go to michael's patreon uh right now here the last episode if you just venmo him 50 Patreon right now, here's a lost episode. If you just Venmo him $50, he'll put it out. I'm pretty sure.

I technically have a Patreon. I've never put anything in. Really? Yeah. Here's the thing. I thought about doing that whole exclusive content thing. That's just more work. And then you feel bad because people pay for it.

Exactly. need to feel bad because people pay for it exactly me and avery were talking actually this morning uh about just starting an only fans and putting comedy on it you know just like easily do it just starting only fans and just put stupid clips up there honestly you could probably trick a few people into buying it if like your profile picture was like your bare ass and they're like oh god we're gonna see judd's ass and then they subscribe for a month so i'm like oh that's five bucks but all they see is comedy like well we got duped like you could do it just me and gray sweatpants and they're like heck yes and then all of a sudden boop comedy actually if you want views this one a lot of people i don't wear shoes during it a lot of people are obsessed with my feet so if you want people to see this oh let's get the shoes off put your socks on let's get this going put

your feet up do you have a feet finder i don't but i need one actually this week um my girlfriend was on this past week and i got a dm from this not i want to say the same guy this guy dm me goes hey can i pay you for pictures of your feet and i'm like no what well i don't know if it's no it was my ass it was my ass okay my ass okay and i just simply put no and i was like this looks familiar and i went on the thread because i just looked at like the pop-up message i want to. He had messaged me before. I was like, hey, man, can I have pictures of you? He really wants to see that. I was like, no. He goes, what if I pay you?

I'm like, how much? He goes, like $5. I'm a broke college kid. I'm like, what the fuck? No. All right. How much money would you sell your feet pics for? I would take pictures of my feet now, and we could put it on the internet.

It's fine. For free? No. What's the lowest? I would take pictures of my feet now and we can put it on the internet. It's fine. For free? No, but like. Yeah, so what's like the lowest. What would my rate be? What's like a hot pose for your feet? Like arched? Ooh, I think it's, yeah, maybe.

Like a curl? Like a toe curl? Do you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. Okay. Like those gymnastics. Maybe spreading them apart.

Spread them apart. Show them web feet. Ooh, a good swimmer's foot. No, I... Like what kind of rate? Monthly rate? Yeah. Picture rate? All right, so I'm going, I would think per foot.

Per foot. Yeah, I'm going per foot. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Listen to this. per foot. Hold on, hold on. Listen to this. Is that the Super Mario theme song?

What is this? Holy, it's still going. It's a full ringtone. I don't know how many people have been on this. That's your dryer? That's your washer dryer yeah and one of us is either always doing laundry and it comes on every time i'm doing one of these that's just listen that's the longest the longest noise ever that's insane washer dryer machine but per foot what were you doing i was going per foot i was probably gonna go fifty dollars per foot fifty per foot fifty are you probably going to go $50 per foot.

$50 per foot? $50 per foot. Are you doing like a left twix, right twix kind of thing? Yep. Yeah, because my right's more fucked up than my left because I've had my feet in cleats my entire life. Okay. So they're not great. I broke my right toe jumping off a bridge one time, and it's never healed great. Are your feet hairy?

No, not really. I mean, I have black hair, so it's like- You notice it. You notice it more hair so it's like you notice it you know but it's not like overly hairy yeah yeah see i don't know i think feet are disgusting so i don't think my feet are good looking at all so i would just go maybe a flat rate of like 15 20 but i know girls i know girls that get asked every day for just feet pics and i'm like girls are better looking than guys send them mine and we'll split the cash like let's do it i'll do 25 75 yeah let's i think can you imagine some like creepy guy in his basement asking this girl for her feet

and she sends him like your hairy feet like there's hair on each knuckle and like i don't think those are yours but thank you i know a girl she gave i think it was like four feet pics grand she got a grand for it a grand a grand how do you get to that point in your life that you're that desperate for pictures of feet specific people's feet that you're willing to spend a could you imagine what do you do for a living i had to pay her a grand for her feet pics uh no i don't know like i'm not into feet i don't think they're attractive i don't want mine touched it's i don't want to touch yours on a human body his feet hands down yeah that i mean even fingers are kind of like gross if you really think about it they touch all the stuff you yeah hands are actually in terms of a germ standpoint more disgusting than feed yeah your

phone's disgusting too oh absolutely like it's like worse than the toilet seat they say and the fact that you put it to your ear just like openly putting it on your face and it's always in the toilet like you you bring it in to where the germs are When's the last time you took a shit without your phone? I did one time, and I'm like, oh, this is what it likes to be in the 90s. Like, this is what my dad did. And your dad had a newspaper, a magazine. No. That's why I like it. No, my dad never had anything.

So I grew up, and this was also, like, I grew up in a farmhouse, and the toilet paper was on the right, and there was nothing to read. So you were just there with your thoughts. And once I moved out, went to college, a few years later, I come back. I'm going to the bathroom, and I lived there for 18 years. And I get done, and I reached for where the toilet paper was, usually on the right, and it wasn't there. Scared me shitless if you've thought where the toilet paper was and it was just not even the roller not even like anything was there just gone they've told me that they're like but now they have it in the back where you would have the

reading stuff yeah that's where the toilet paper is i don't like that don't like that either i don't like that either tell k reminger she's doing it wrong i i want to bring this up because you prepared when i came on yours and i don't prepare at all so i was like you know what i'm gonna do some research this morning and i was like you don't have a lot like i couldn't get on your facebook i don't know how to get my number off facebook um i couldn't find it and i was on the work computer i'm like you need to log in i'm like that's not happening so i just i googled your name pictures came up like 10 pictures in was a picture of me from the episode i'm like all right we're not gonna get anything from here great fedora pic if you haven't seen it yet so i found your linkedin and it said farmer

when you brought farmhouse i'm like you actually have a dairy farm yeah i grew up on a dairy farm uh for for my entire life i would basically wake up do chores and go to school and then you're like fuck these cows i'm gonna go do social media that's what your next job was yeah so i worked for a college doing social media and then i worked for a production like a basically a film thing where i would interview war veterans it was the dumbest job ever because i would i would get there they would set up all the stuff i would basically get there and i would interview them and then press stop on the record and then i would leave and the stuff would stay there because it was just in a production film room and i never edited any of it and i don't know if it's still out there but it's a dream just

do the interview and don't do anything else yeah that's all i would do but i would basically have to do that 7 a.m before before class with these old men and talk about their war stories this is like real life breaking amish it was it was weird and then i and then after that i moved to milwaukee and i was like yeah i don't want to be on a farm i don't want to work for a production company so i just started doing graphic design and and uh now i'm a creative director that's what i do so yeah i was looking i, okay, whatever this company is, social media, whatever. Farmhouse, 13 years. I'm like, dairy farmer?

Mm-hmm. Didn't think that was it. Hardest job in the world is a dairy farm. Really? I think so. It's got to be up there. You work every single day of your life, twice a day. On your birthday, you're out there doing work. On Christmas, Easter, you're doing work.

Any kind of farming has got to suck. I got into watching yellowstone recently and everyone's like oh this would be so fun to be a cow i'm like you realize they have they do this there is no like weekend we're like oh that was a hard five days let's go blossom like no yeah remember when you're hung over yeah and you're like i'm gonna rest today yeah no you have to still wake up and go milk the cows. The cows aren't hungover. How many cows do you have? We had 50 cows.

We no longer have a dairy farm. The cows got sold, and now we have heifers, which is a teenage farmer. It's like a teenage cow. So what's the point of heifers then? So once they have a calf, then they're a cow. Then they'll produce milk. But before that, they're just heifers. They're like teenagers.

And they're going to be fed and become bigger so that they can produce more milk. And once they have their calf, then they're shipped off to my uncle's farm or my cousin's farm technically now, and then they are gone. So you just have a whole family cow business now yeah exactly yeah it's weird and you're not part of any of it you don't even run the social media for that i wish my dad is on facebook please do not add him uh his his numbers on there his facebook picture is a picture of another framed picture you know it's it's his picture of him holding a deer and then he took a picture and you can see the glare off

of the glass that's that's more of a dad move than just not having a profile picture yeah you i always see those dads like the picture it's like they're like this and they're looking at it am i doing this right they're trying to see in the camera if their face is yeah and that's their profile picture nope my dad's is a picture of a picture which is very funny first letter of first name dot their last name just d cut like my dad's i'm pretty sure just d kuski and then nothing and then just no profile picture whatever but i know you like that's his instagram he doesn't i think he follows no one or his kids there's no picture on it and he'll dm me all the time of just like videos and he is he's in like 2016 right now of content because i get videos i'm like dude i saw this in high school he's like have you seen this i'm like sending you vines a

while ago where do you i'm like there's like tiktok stamps on it or vine or i'm like all right i'm like you know what you're having fun we can't show you tiktok because you'll lose your mind no yeah my my parents thankfully aren't on instagram but instagram's wild i have people on instagram that follow no one but me like they have one follower like they follow me that's it really yeah like family members i don't know who they are it's creepy yeah that's weird those are like old probably spam or bot accounts or like we're gonna try just just one target this guy one person and then they'll like dm me when i like put like i show up and i'll be like oh come with this show and they'll like dm me like how much are tickets like you could click on the link and find that

but they want to dm me and ask me and then i'll be like 15 and then they won't respond are those the weirdest dms you get yeah probably i mean i get i mean coming from strangers yes i'll get i got i did a show not too long ago from uh it was like in like north of baroo, like a Moston area. And a guy after the show DMed me and says, because I did have a tractor joke in there because we were talking. He goes, hey, man, next time you're in town, you should bring your tractor. I thought that was weird. I thought that was weird.

That grown man was like, hey, I saw this comic. He was pretty funny, and I'm going to DM'm gonna invite him in his tractor how long of a drive was it two hours so what is that 12 on tractor I don't know if I'm yeah they're how fast your tractor did you have one on your farm yeah we have plenty of track we still have tractors out there but it's uh how fast do they go what's their top 30 30 Have you ever made it to that? No. No one does. You're going like 5, 10 max?

There was one time, and I don't think my parents know this. So when you're driving a tractor, you have your clutch. It's like basically driving a manual. Yeah. And I parked it one time with a trailer full of hay. I parked it on an angle. And I got off to go do something. Like to go pick up something else in the field.

And I turn around. And the tractor is just rolling with this hay thing. Oh shit. And it flips perfectly back onto its wheels. With the hay. Hay still in it? Hay was wheels with the hay. Hay still in it? Hay was still in the back. It flipped.

And still, it was just like a... Gravity, I don't know how it works. I am struggling to see how this works. I'll write you a Venn diagram. Yeah, it was wild. It was insane. Wow. Dairy farmer. Well, I'm glad you prepared because I also prepared.

I'm trying to remember what else I prepared. I have one really lame-ass question and then. Well, I know you played lacrosse. Yeah. You got the sticks? Well, you also played football. I did. Also, I have the greatest fucking thing we're going to do today.

All right. We have. You played football in 2013 for the Franklin Sabres. Oh, shit. Yeah. You played nine games. Okay. All right. We have – you played football in 2013 for the Franklin Sabres. Oh, shit. Yeah. You played nine games. Okay. All right.

How many tackles do you think you got that year? 40. 22. 22. 22 tackles. How many interceptions did you get that year? Was this – 2013.

Zero? Two? One. One? Yeah. Last game Two? One. One? Yeah. Last game of the season. Who is it against? You guys won 43-9.

Oh, is this Milwaukee-Pulaski? Yeah. I had to pick six. Oh, pick six? Yeah. Well, they should have put that on there. That would have been great. I had one more that year.

All right, walk us through it. Pick six. What were we doing? It was, I think, second or first play of the game. had one more that year all right walk us through it pick six what we doing um it was i think second or first play of the game i had our whole defensive squad had like no interceptions the whole year where we were good yeah you had one you had one loss wisconsin football you don't pass it a lot either it's a lot of in between the tackles kind of stuff ours the reason we are good is we were like west coast offense we passed a lot yeah i mean our quarterback went to go play d1 football

phenomenal um he played in the canadian league um won a championship there too um but yeah i it's funny because i i'm second or the game, the guy threw it, and I'm like, I think he's throwing this to me. It was such a bad throw, I think. Or I was just in a perfect position I didn't know and caught it, and I had the biggest guy on my team on defense, like, basically escort me to the end zone. And the funniest part was, like, I find out later is all my buddies like after we celebrate they're like dude you're i think your dad beat you to the end zone so my dad's a coach and he

was my like position coach and my dad obviously sees me intercept it looks at the end zone looks at me and goes he can score and jumps and just sprints and i'm pretty sure my father beat me to the end zone at the age of like 40 something 50 something and went nuts like he was more excited than i was i was not one to celebrate much at all like i was like this is awesome i dropped the ball yeah no one's celebrating high school football yeah yeah but i had one other one that year that was two pick sixes no one of the interception that i'm pretty sure was playoffs too, that game. That was the first round of playoffs.

Nice. I had won the last interception to send us to state. You guys went to state? Yeah, we lost though. Good. Glad. Good. Good for you.

We lost to the runners-up, the state runner-up, and they were the champions the year before. Yeah. Yeah. Where did you go again? I went to marion high school we sucked for so long until like my class came in then we're like we actually had a good core group of guys we we went to we got real close in football our our starting power forward and leading score in basketball got caught for guns and expelled from school,

and then we didn't make it that far in playoffs, and then we won state in baseball. Yeah, our high school was pretty good at sports. Football, we've always been good. I think we won like two back-to-back state titles, Franklin, or something like that. I don't know. I didn't watch any baseball games.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you got a big school. Yeah. We, when I got into high school, we went from like a D two to a D one school.

Cause I didn't understand how that worked till I got there. And like, it's based off population, um, or like the amount of kids at the school. I didn't know. I was like, Oh,

I thought it was like location or how I honestly thought is how good the kids were i genuinely thought like oh arrowhead has athletic kids they're d1 they're like no they have 4 000 people at the school they're going to be division one halfway through the season you're like your team sucks yeah you're demoted to d3 you guys are terrible you're done um yeah i genuinely thought that's how it worked but no no you have like 1400 kids now you guys qualify for d1 like okay cool so it was fun playing like the d1 schools with the d2 schools because we were the lowest you can get we all showed up to lose yeah well we showed up in like all our gears in like grocery bags and we came brought you know the game you all your mom dropped you all the other the other team's on a full bus with like matching uniforms with their bags with their

numbers on it and we're like all the jerseys are the same yeah like one kid that's got like the jersey from three years yeah just look at each little barrow. He can just come in and out. He's on the volleyball team. You've got the pads that still snap on. Oh, we didn't have that. We had some of the kids had the ones that their belt went through the hip pads. Yeah, it was the belt in and the snap ons. I had those growing up up until high school.

Until we were, I was like, you can just get like a girdle and just have them in there. And it looked way cooler. And you're like, yeah, I'm doing this. I would, I would, I was a quarterback. So I took the, because I couldn't throw with the big shoulder pads on. So I would. I never understood how people could do that. So I, so I went to like the, like the junior high football equipment room.

Yeah. And just stole shoulder pads from them. So my shoulder pads were technically like for little kids. I always ask them, like, give me the smallest ones you got. Yeah. Give me the smallest. And unless you were – because I wasn't starting on varsity until I was a senior.

So, like, they're not going to give you shit. They're going to give all the starters, the seniors, what they want first. You know you're bad when you're a senior and, like, we're going to let the other kids get what they want first because you're not gonna play you're a cornerback with like one of those helmets with the middle bar senior like what do you play like a second string defensive back jv i'm like aren't you graduating like yeah don't worry about it we had a kid. My dad is ruthless. Like, he was the coach everyone feared growing up. Like, even in high school, everyone's big. I'm not a, like, we're not a tall family, not a big family.

And everyone's, like, grown. We're still scared of your dad from, like, youth football and stuff like that. It was my dad yells. And my dad was the kind of coach that, let's say you did something really well. You threw, like, a long touchdown pass. And you're so used to my dad was the kind of coach that let's say you did something really well you threw like a long touchdown pass and you're so used to my dad yelling he'd come up to you and be like john and you're like you would just cower and you're like what do i do he goes nice throw and then he would just walk away but we had a kid in high school i was like first day with pads on my

junior senior year, and we're going to our defensive back group, and we're looking at this guy, and we're like, what the fuck is up with your pads? Because we're looking, and I'm like, dude, are your pants too big? Or what's going on? His hip pad is near his thigh. His thigh pads are at his knee.

His tailbone's at his hip. His other knee is near his thigh. His thigh pads are at his knee. His tailbone's at his hip. His other knee is, like, behind his knee. And my dad's like, dude, you got your pants on backwards? He goes, no. He goes, did you put them in the slots? He goes, no, I thought you just put the pads in between the pants and your legs, and they stay there. Just loosely.

My dad's like, go home they were like dude you you gotta like i mean if people don't know you have football pants there are places to put your pads yeah that's why they're always in place but this guy genuinely thought like i'm just gonna slide them in there are some people who are tight enough football pants you probably could get away with that yeah but now pants – the pants now just have them in there. Yeah. So you don't have to slide them in any. That's all you wash them. Yeah.

You either get the pants or you just get the girdle and you get whatever nylon pants they give you. Yeah. My school was known for chess. They're nationally ranked in chess. And then they're no longer nationally ranked in chess because the chess coach got arrested for touching little boys. Does that surprise you at all?

No, absolutely not. In the police report, you can look at this online. It says... King to child four. It says when the police knocked on his door to ask him, you know, talk to him, he goes, Sir, do you know why we're here? And verbatim, he goes, is it because know why we're here and verbatim he goes is it because i've been having sex with goats for 40 years

imagine just thinking like oh the police are here because i've been having sex with goats it's not the reason that was not the reason uh and then and then in the article they keep going about the goats and they're, that's why his wife left him in 1985, which is just rough. But also, is it the same goat? Do you think he has multiple goats? Like, is he cheating on other goats? He said goats.

If he said it's because they've been having sex with a goat for the last 15 years or whatever, how long you said, that would be more concerning. If it's one specific goat that this man's like, you're the one, baby, that'd be more concerning than it's one specific goat that this man's like you're the one baby that'd be more concerning than i was like no i just fuck goats i'm gonna find you a picture of him while you do that i'm gonna pee he's he's gonna not surprise you what whoa whoa michael's away uh selena gomez if you're listening right now um please reach out to us come on the podcast um we're all team selena here uh fuck hayley beaver you know we're not a fan selena i know you're going through tough times

you know you got lupus but it could be loop us you know we're in this together we're here for you so please reach out fatchance.com maybe fat chance on instagram maybe fat chance podcast i don't really know i don't i don't know exactly the handle, but please reach out to us, Selena. We need you. We need you so bad. I was talking to Selena Gomez directly into the camera, so we're good. So she can come on the podcast. All right.

Do you have the picture? You said I'm not going to be surprised? You have people that kind of look like what they date? Yep, that's it. That's a goat fucker right there. That is... Send me that picture because I'm going to try and find a way to edit that onto the... Oh, this is an even better one.

I think this is when he got picked up. He had a mustache when he got picked up. Those are two drastically different pictures. That's like... Yeah. That looks like Hulk Hogan's dad versus I definitely fuck goats. Wow. It's like he just switched hair.

I know. So it's... Well, I mean, jail probably does that to you. Yeah. But yeah. It's wild. And he kept stats for uh our football games all our football games it's weird it's weird time i've had multiple crazy i had multiple

teachers get arrested really yes our band teacher got arrested our science teacher got arrested while i was in school for something he did at another school for trying to touch girls. Yeah. It was wild. We don't do background checks in Mary high school. No, you don't. There were like rumors. One of our volleyball coaches used to make the girls sign their name in there in the air with their ass.

So he no longer coaches there. How would that be? How is that attractive? I think he made it sound like it was a drill like gotta stay low so like write your name in the air with your ass i think he just wanted to see 12 high school it's disgusting just like up and down i'm like also why their name you know they're already gonna get low yeah what's the point of just making a d give me like a really fast heartbeat yeah it's gonna be the same fucking twerk um yeah that's that's messed

up okay do you want do you want to continue on there or do you want to do an activity right let's do that activity okay um would you believe me if i told you this apartment had a window ham? What's a window ham? A window ham. Like a ham and a window? Like a ham and a window. It used to be there. We moved it.

But we have a window ham, and I'd like you to cut a piece of ham and have it today. Are you genuinely concerned? Yes, let's do it. I'm genuinely concerned, but I'm also confused on what a window ham is. Here's your knife. Oh my God. Good thing you got the small one. Oh my God. What is...

Is this FDA approved? What is this fda approved what is this okay um so this is a full leg of spanish ham um over christmas my mom bought this and hold on i'll show you how to cut it um but i had my little incident on christmas you know i almost died yeah appendix and so we were going to do a fun charcuterie board for christmas she's going to make me cut this so this is i believe i could be wrong like prosciutto so you're supposed to cut this nice and thin yeah um on top so you're going to cut it from the top right now there are two layers of fat i'll take them so your hands don't get gross. That help preserve it.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like bacon. Okay. Yeah. And they said how to store it is just cover it in a towel and the fat in a cool area. So we put it by the window. And so we now have a window ham. But not in a, they weren't like in a fridge?

They weren't like in a fridge? No. So these are cured. So they were, this is from Costco. And it was just in a fridge? They weren't like in a fridge? No, so these are cured. So this is from Costco, and it was just in a plastic thing. It's been sitting in a closet for a while, and now you're going to cut a slice of... We're going to cut a piece. So you want it to be like paper thin.

Paper. Ooh. I promise you it's safe to eat his roommate just said he had explosive diarrhea from it uh you know it'd be paper but I also saw a couple bush lights in the in there so we don't really know if it was just from the ham but yeah like if you ever go to the store and you get like you want to make a nice charcuterie board and you have like the things of prosciutto. I want you to just bring this. Don't bring anything else. It's already on the board.

Just bring this. So that's what we did. My girlfriend was here and we just were like, we'll do a charcuterie board with me, her, and then my roommate and his girlfriend. Is she okay with just a ham sitting in the corner? Yeah, well, I think this is how every charcuterie board should be, is don't put any meat on it. You just get a leg of Spanish ham.

You might be one of the best, like, cutters I've seen for this. It was great. That was a nice smooth cut. I was emo in high school. I'm a real good cutter. But so we just had, like, a normal board of, like, cheese, crackers, nuts, or whatever, and then an activity. Because if you do a charcuterie board,

I think the fun part everyone likes is it looks nice. Yeah, everyone's fun part of the charcuterie board is making it yourself. Oh, and taking your picture, and then after that it's like, oh, now we've got to eat this. It's like I don't really care about these salted Mediterranean pistachios. All right, give it a bite. All right, we have a bunch of pieces here. So if you like a piece,

well me. Thank you. All right. Here we go. Window ham. Window. It was good at ASMR. It's not not bad do you think it'd be worse yeah i thought it would be it's got like a funk to it but

you like it enough you're nibbling on it yeah another piece of that another piece all right i'm gonna do this every episode now until his ham is fucking gone. Which is going to take forever. Yeah, how long does his ham last for? I don't know. All right, you talk. I'll put this away. I don't know if any of this is FDA approved.

It's definitely not kosher. I don't know what kosher is. Do you know what kosher is? No pork products. Oh. Well. I don't think anyone knows what kosher means. I thought it has to be blessed by a rabbi.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you expect me to pull out a window ham today? Scale of 1 to 11. Like, I knew that there was going to be something shady going on in these apartments. Also, when I said window ham, did you think that was one word at first? Like, what the hell is a window ham?

I honestly have never seen that before also that it was on like a special board yeah it came with it i assume so because that seemed like it was just made for that one ham i go all out with food stuff like i love cooking all that that's so much that my girlfriend's like you bought this board for it what yeah what were you supposed to do with that before this? So it was supposed to – For Christmas, you were supposed to eat that entire thing? Well, no. My mom's like me.

She's like, oh, this will be fun, but didn't realize like this is so much meat. So she's like, oh, you'll just take it home afterwards because I'll do stuff like this with it. I'm going to bring it out every podcast, and and we're gonna have ham until someone gets sick um but it was i think if you get like a legitimate like super nice one of those that's several hundred dollars right there costco has those every christmas or thanksgiving and they're like 80 bucks and And so when you buy the slices of prosciutto at the store, they're all like $8 and you get like four. That was like what you just cut right there. That's still like several hundred dollars worth of meat. Damn.

I mean, that's good. Yeah. What else do you break on a charcuterie board? I don't even remember what we put on there. The only thing I was focused on was this giant ham. Because it took you four hours to make seven pieces oh yeah and because it needs to be paper thin because if we had cuts where we're all like oh let's we've got chunks of it i'm like this is chewy and it shouldn't do you fry it up no okay it was just that's it's cured so you can cook it like cured salmon you put like locks on

for uh that's the fanciest shit i've ever heard it is yeah yeah my like so i grew up on a dairy farm way up north we don't do any of this our charcuterie board would be would be probably cottage cheese cheese cheese curds and then venison that's what it would be like there's nothing that sounds like a perfect maybe my i like cottage cheese but i wouldn't put it on a board. But cheese curds and venison, I love venison. Yeah. And then, like, Ritz crackers.

I take a good venison steak over, like, a normal steak almost every time. Yeah. Have you had your girlfriend on the podcast? Twice, yeah. Oh, how do you like that? It's interesting. She's hesitant to come on each time. I've made her come on both times.

I'm like, I need someone for the week. Um, first time was good. Second time, she was definitely more comfortable. And she's like, can we at least have questions to answer this time? I'm like, sure. If you want to find them. So I would just grill her about dating you. So I'll let you two do a podcast.

Yeah, that'd be fun. But she basically just grilled me with questions. So it was around Christmas time, and I love Christmas. As you can see, Santa Claus is still up right now. That's top five favorite movies of all time. But she just grilled me with questions and watched me get irrationally angry at how annoyed I get with people the whole episode. So it's been fun.

She's been a trooper. My 69th episode for my podcast i'm gonna have a bunch of like old guests just interview me like ask me questions and like what i think because i have a bunch of questions for you that i have basically the rapid fire ones oh yeah um ninjas or pirates ninjas tvs or movies movies boobs or butt but mom or dad mom she watches this you had to pick this one does your parents watch this uh occasionally yeah i don't know if my dad knows how to that's fair i taught my dad how to

use bluetooth two years ago wow that's really your dad's instagram and knows all bluetooth it was crazy that i taught him i'm like dad he's like what do you mean this is new i'm like dad bluetooth came out before i was could like talk what does he listen to what do you mean what like with his bluetooth well we finally got him hooked on Spotify. Okay. I have like a giant country music playlist. It's like 75 hours long. I'm like, just listen to this.

It's like all your music you like. But for a while, he would just pick songs on YouTube. And so, but he was the kind of guy that would, when I was teaching him how to use YouTube, or not YouTube, Bluetooth, I'm like, all right, it's connected. And he goes, okay, so like I just play this and it plays through here. I go, where the fuck have you been the last 20 years? He goes, dude, I don't know. How should I know this?

I'm like, how should you not know this? And then I looked at his phone and it's not even the YouTube app. It's safariyoutube.com. I'm like, all right, we're getting you the app too. He goes, what is that? I'm like, oh, shit. It's like explaining technology to your parents is like talking technology to Amish people or electricity to Amish people.

It's like rough. My mom's pretty good at it. My dad is horrendous. I mean, and he's getting better. He's learning. But I but i'm like dude you are so behind the ball my dad just found out about emojis just found out i think my i think my dad sent me a few emojis but i think my dad sent me emojis because they're the reply buttons for like instagram dms now where like you hold it down you accidentally hit one i love your dad's in the dms

your dad's just doing stuff in the dms your dad's just doing stuff in the dms he he'll go through phases where i get like six a day um and then i won't i'll get like one a week or something like that but it's it's always like because i like to cook he's like all right you should make this next time we're all together or um lacrosse videos or hunting or get back into it get the sticks back or weirdly like he'll send me like motivational stuff i'm like let's not do that one um but yeah i mean my dad's uh my dad's always on facebook and he does the he thinks the people you should know are friend requests so he just accepts them all he's got like a million friends

yeah he thinks everyone wants to be his friend um but he gets like scammed for like the videos that are obviously fake and they're it's like this is the truth that facebook is trying to hide and and then he sends it to me through facebook messenger like he's like this video has been banned in all social medias i was like dad how did you get it like you're a 73 year old farmer they're also they're also the kind of people that when you see them in person like you shouldn't believe everything you hear on the internet. And then you get a DM from them, and it's like a random person on TikTok being like, here are the secrets to this, this, and this, and the government's hiding this.

I'm like, this is Karen in her basement. And you're like, you should listen to this. I'm like, should I? I did have a news article that was very funny. I saw it today that someone in Arizona stole the giant spoon outside of Dairy Queen. Do you know the Dairy Queens that have the giant spoon going into the blizzard? Either way, they stole a giant spoon. The red spoon.

It's a red Dairy Queen spoon. It's massive. They stole from it. That can't be hard to find. Well, there has to be some ant that has it in their kitchen now with another giant fork. It says live, laugh, love. Yeah, yeah. It says eat for some weird reason.

Like what else would you do? Live, laugh, ice cream cake is what it says. It's so funny. You got to find a giant fork to match it. Yeah, a red one. I love the decor that people have in their houses it's always the same it says a lot it says you can tell the age too yes and interest i mean obviously interest but just age enough like are you walk in here there's a santa claus poster and

a beer poster on the wall like these kids are in their these kids are in their twenties and they're dudes. My, my mom, mom, if you're watching this, I love you death. But, uh, she,

she has a lot of like things that say home. And then also, uh, pictures of Jesus. Like in case she forgets it's her house. Yeah. And also pictures of Jesus. And my older brother who lives in California,

he looks like if Jesus was in a punk band so it just looks like she has multiple pictures of my brother up and we're like in the corner and that's it like oh you have a favorite child don't you yeah apparently you know yeah i don't i think my least favorite thing people have is decorations it might be going on styles that people who had like writing on their walls. Like actually like painted it on. Like the live, laugh, love, family, home. I love that.

Family, friends, and feasting. Whatever it was. Yeah. Because that had to be a fad at some point. Like Bath and Body or something. Like Bed Bath and Beyond. Paint some inspirational stuff on your walls. That's not a permanent decision but that's a pretty so who got yours who got the santa claus that was you that's me yeah so we got the old

style him so his last name is highland oh um no relation he is two ends but it's kind of cool um i like it just take take off the end yes just put another one. Yeah. So we have his mom found that, I believe, at like an old rummage sale. That's a huge find. Huge, yeah. Unreal. I love it. See that rip all the way on the left? Yeah.

Does it look like a hand going like this to you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I can see it. Like a witch is going, come here, my precious. Old style. Ever have it? Once or twice.

I couldn't tell you what it tastes like. What's your go-to beer when you go out? Coors Light, probably. Coors Light? Yeah. Did that start in college? Or was it a Milwaukee thing? I don't know.

I think PBR tastes like the can it comes in to me. Miller Lite, my 19th birthday, we got so drunk that it just kind of always has a weird taste to me. I can still drink Miller Lite, but that's like a summer beer, like a summer light beer for me. Okay. It sounds weird, but I'm like, you know what? I have to be – it's got to be like – it's a Summerfest beer for me. Okay, yeah, that's fair. It's a Summerfest beer for me okay it sounds weird i'm like you know what i have to be it's got to be like it's a summer fest beer for me okay yeah that's fair it's a summer fest beer for me like honestly i need that and a cigarette in my hand and that it pairs perfectly and i don't even smoke

yeah you're just holding it Coors Light just seems it's beery enough but it's light enough as well like Miller Light is with a cigarette bud light tastes like water cores is kind of right in between you were you were lucky enough i was in the like when i was 19 18 19 and like 20 so i was a little bit underage but i still wanted to get into the bars yeah i didn't want to go through the bouncers it was just so happened that the they stopped letting you smoke inside yeah and they would have a designated smoking area and these places didn't have that ready so they just rope off a spot for it yeah so what i would do is i would pick i would take a pack of cigarettes i don't smoke never have never will i would take a pack of smokes and i

would just light one up and i would duck and go in the cigarette area. And then just go in. And I'd take a smoking and then I'd dust it out and I'd go right in. That's so smart. Yeah. Got in every time. That is so smart. I love that.

I love like creative ways to get a bar. There's so many ways you can get in. There's like have someone come out and give you a drink, like a glass that you already have. It depends on the kind of bar like and what's if there's an indoor outdoor section stuff like that like obviously there's an outdoor section so they're not always monitoring they're like oh they're already in we don't need to watch it so if you quickly get on that fence you're good to go did you have a fake i did yeah i had uh kentucky and then i had minnesota Ooh. Kentucky and Minnesota. Yeah.

They worked. They worked. I liked them. I didn't get denied much. I got a drinking ticket once because of it, but I got a drinking ticket and I gave the cop my fake ID. Wait, you got a drinking ticket? Wow.

A ticket for you're so good at drinking, you're like, here's a fucking good ticket. You are damn good. You win, Michael. No, it was, we did Country USA. Oh, yeah, with drinking tickets. They just give you at the door. And so we were all like, just, it was the most casual thing.

We're sitting around a grill, like making hot dogs, listening to music, drinking, making no noise. And these cops are up and they're like, can we see your IDs? Like, did we,

do we do anything? Cause I ended up asking them later. I'm like, what did we do? Like one of you looked young. I was like, can I ask which one? And like,

we make fun of them all the time for now. And we're like, fuck you, Jake. Um, just painted a mustache but we befriended the people in the campsite next to us and they were underage as well and i when you buy fake ids you often get two of them and so i gave one to the other guy i was like so you can buy

beer in there it had a crease in it so clearly it was fake and i gave it to the other guy and i was like use it see if you can get beer with it if you lose it i don't care yeah um i'm gonna have the good one and so they come up and they ask for ids and i give them our id and everyone has a different id in our group not one of us is of age or from wisconsin or from wisconsin we're all like yeah we met in college and we're like we're here visiting we just we stayed the summer kind of thing which is a fair excuse of all the excuses you give not bad yeah and they're like i get the one cop obviously she could have been lying she goes i'm actually from kentucky i was like cool do i go with you now and i'm sitting on the back of a car with all our beer in it and she goes i need you to dump uh your drink out they were cool enough because i just closed the door with

the rest of our booze in it because it's day two of five and i closed it i was like yeah we'll dump this one out we got put into a holding cell i was like this fucking sucks and we end up coming out and she's I smile in my mugshot I can't find it to this day oh I really want to find it they gave me a whiteboard and wrote a bunch of stuff on it like can you hold this I go what is this for and I look up and they have one of these cameras pointing at me like we do now and I go is this my mugshot and they're like yeah why are you pumped about and I go like this I should have done more research. All right, I'm going to write this down. And so we get back to the campsite.

Two of us are like, fuck it, we'll just drink in the tents. And then a few of them are like, we can never drink again. We're like, okay, whatever. So we're just drinking in the tents, and we meet the other two guys that are at the other campsite. We're like, did you guys get in trouble too? They're like, no, our fake IDs work. I i go the one with the fucking crease and it worked should have kept that one i should have kept that one yeah uh i uh i think i never got a drinking ticket i saved mine i have my so

never got a drink to i've crawled through fields i've done all that stuff uh but my favorite time was in college we were underage and we got back from the bars from drinking and the security cart was out there they were in a golf cart and we're it really and we ticketed all the cars in the parking lot we probably ticketed 60 to 80 cars and they were like we we ticketed them like from 20 to 40 dollars that like it was just for the dumbest stuff like you can't have racing stripes here 40 dollars we took it to the school van it was it was like you get this piece of shit out here before we tow it uh the big trucks are like who are you compensating for 60 dollars and put on the windshield and we had a great time we didn't ticket any of our cars and we're like oh crap

they're gonna know that it was us so my roommate was gone on a soccer trip because he played soccer and so we're like oh we'll give him a ticket and we put being a field fairy 40 on his ticket and i remember going to bed passed out waking up to my roommate coming home from a soccer trip, just on his phone with his mom, be like, I got a parking ticket last night. Couldn't you believe that they're making fun of me for playing soccer? And he was so wild. And he wakes me up.

He goes, John, did you get a parking ticket last night? And I was like, I hope not. And he goes, well, I'm going to security to fight this. And I'm like, I'll come with. So I'm like a sheeps and wolf clothing right now. I'm just like, just walking in. And I get there and there's so many people with tickets in their hands just waiting for security. And they're like yelling at them.

They're like, since when can I have racing stripes here? It was just insane. And I remember security, like one of the security officers just loudly shouts just put the tickets on the table none of you will pay it don't worry we'll figure it out so about a week passes and we kind of like just forget about it and we're just like that was funny and the newspaper comes not like our college newspaper like like the city's newspaper comes out. On like page three, they're like school vandalism. And just had a picture of all those like of the table of like the ones they had.

And they said, please, if you have any information about this, there was ticket on cars. If you have any information, let us know because the vandals have to pay the fines for all the tickets that they wrote and we wrote so many tickets to this day we've never been caught and until now and yeah i mean i think i don't know it's been too many years i don't think they can catch us now but yeah if you've never been caught it was amazing i can confidently say that is top three best stories i've ever heard doing this that is phenomenal yeah i have some good stories from college i'll have to sell those off the podcast because those could incriminate me oh yeah there's definitely like all right shut the fuck up shut up that's phenomenal yeah it was great that is it that's one of those memories you have where you will tell that to your son or daughter one day,

and they'll be like, Dad's fucking cool. We had, I mean, I played college baseball, and our apartment building was so close to the field that you could see the field from our balcony. Yeah. So we would have double headers, and normally double headers, you just sit in the dugout and eat your sandwich and drink your Gatorade and kind of go for the ride. We would go back to our apartment, and we're like, well, that game sucked. Either way, we're having beers.

Our game two is going to be way more loose than game one. That was the moment. So I didn't drink in high school. I don't know if we covered this one on yours. Did we cover my Mardi Gras trip for the cross? No. over this one yeah on yours did we cover my mardi gras trip for lacrosse no so my freshman year like we're going to mardi gras um we're not we're not going to mardi gras we're going to new orleans for a tournament and it was a club team so like you got to pay to go and i was like i'm not gonna go i can't afford it and the coach was like you can pay like half we just i want you to go and this is

before him and i hate each other but i'm like this is the first time i realized like oh i can do whatever the fuck i want now in college so i'm a freshman barely drank before i get on this bus i have beer not a lot but i'm like i'll have a few drinks it's a wednesday night i'm just deciding not to go to class no i'm not gonna get in trouble i'm like i Oh, I have a few drinks. It's a Wednesday night. I'm just deciding not to go to class. No, I'm not going to get in trouble. I'm like, I'm just not going to class.

All the upperclassmen just load the bus up with booze. Yeah. At like seven o'clock at night. And we just get pissed drunk before we even out of Wisconsin. And we fall asleep. We get drunk again. We get down to, uh,

Louisiana and we stop, get food, start drinking again. More like, I'm like, Holy shit., get food, start drinking again. I'm like, I'm like, holy shit. This is like, this is unbelievable. We get to the field. We stay at this hotel basically around the corner from, I think it's a bourbon street. Yeah.

And I'm like, all right, you guys, you'll have time to go do your thing here. And we realized at that point, like, oh, it's Mardi Gras. So I'm like, holy shit. And so we go to the field. I'm like, I want these games over. We got four games. We get to the field, and there's this beer bus. And you go buy a cup for $20, and it's all-you-can-drink beer the entire tournament. So naturally, every single one of us just go get a cup for 20 bucks and it's all you can drink beer the entire tournament so naturally every single one of us just go get a cup for 20 bucks and start drinking before we even played a game

you're just the most dehydrated team we were there for four days we played three of them the first day we were icing the other team's goalies with like you can get like 22 ounce ice smearing off ices at halftime. We're putting them there. That's so funny. Our coach is yelling. It's like, what are you doing? I'm like, dude, we're all hammered, hungover, or both.

That is so funny. And so we're just shit drunk. And then the first night, we're three games done. I'm like, I'm not going to play. I got leveled by a professional lacrosse player. I'm like, I will talk to the defense. I'm like, hey, what do you do? He goes, oh, I play in the MLL. I go, a professional lacrosse player. I'm like, I will talk to the defense. I'm like, Hey, what do you do? He goes, Oh, I play in the MLL.

I go the major lacrosse. He goes, yeah. He goes, what do you, I'm like, I play club. That's it. He goes, do you want to agree? You don't try and score me. I don't kill you. I go, that's a good deal.

But we go out and unbelievable. I'm like 18 and I don't have an ID out of a movie there's a line of us it's the guys and girls team and one guy's like gets in and then just does a hand back all the way to me they're like we like you we'll give you our ids hand back get in same id like 20 guys later yeah they had groups were like all right we'll distract these two bouncers because there's two doors you go into the other one i just walked into a bar the only thing i didn't get into that weekend was a strip club because they like have to be strict about it i went to two lane uh frat party okay because i knew one of the guys from high school who was there anthony justin that went to two lane was

in a frat went there i was like and i i was against frats my freshman year i was like i don't want to pay for my friends but we went there because it was like rush season so it was like anyone can get in and there were moms behind the counter with like buckets and they're like do you want some i was like what is it like it's called diesel i was like what the fuck is this and it tastes like lighter fluid and like kool-aid and they just put one in there like how is it i'm like i'm gonna die it's oh i fucking loved college like yeah also i've never been in new orleans but it seems i want to there are so many places i want to go with like just a group of guys and just have fun like you could have so much fun in new orleans from mardi gras

it i mean i would 100 go back there if I could there's also great ways of sneak like in college you get so smart of sneaking alcohol oh yeah you're so good at it so what I used to do is I used to have a backpack that was lined with Pringle cans and you can fit three beer cans two to three beer cans in a Pringle can. Interesting. So you could fit a full 24 pack into like, you know. You get a lot of Pringles for this. Basically, you just dump them out. I mean, but yeah, but it's like, so you have your

backpack full of Pringles and it doesn't shake like a beer would. Yeah. So it sounds perfect. And then if your backpack is confiscated, it's just a bunch of Pringles. You know, they're not going to look in. I haven't heard that one before. Yeah, so that's what we used to do where'd you go to college again lakeland university okay yeah would you say it was one of my like favorite realizations in life is a lot of people like oh i wish i could go do something different in college or high school i remember

sitting at a george webbs with my roommate and my other buddy, Jake Kane. I mean like, do we did it right? Like I don't have like, there are minor things like, Oh, this would have been cool. Stuff like that.

But like, do we did it fucking right? Like when you think of college and you go into it, like, I want this to be a movie. I want it to be a party. I want to have fun. And then getting out of it like, Oh,

we actually did that. That's such a good we did the dumbest stuff my my do you want another one yeah that'd be great what do you want uh that one yep that one right to your right nope nope uh my it was my senior year and the softball team is running a fundraiser and their fundraiser is a home run derby for any of the college kids to get into teams of four a home run derby which is fun it was just pitchers they had like a pitching machine and you're in a softball field and you hit home runs and then they're out there fielding balls and throwing in it was a home run derby but it's like 200

per team to enter so it's like 50 buck a person and we pre-gamed it in the like we tailgated it like just in college you pre-game things that you definitely don't need to we're part of the we're a part of the pre-game you're like let's just get drunk it is and it's homecoming weekend too so that's why the like there was like families there we are just in the parking lot doing beer bongs, just getting ready for it. We're baseball players, so we're going to win this thing. We already knew that. There was a team of football players that had one dude who could just rake.

They are up by three home runs going into the last round, and I'm the last one. I'm the last team, and i hit four hormones in a row right away four done and after i hit the fourth one we walk it off in a home run derby we run the bases and someone throws me a beer from home plate on a second base and i chug it and then i just keep going and the softball players are like what is he doing why is he running the bases in a home run derby and we get to the we get to we get to like the the home plate and everyone's showering beers at us it's your event they don't know about no they do not know about it and uh then we look over and just a sea of they brought in like after that they had like a little girls camp.

Oh, Jesus. So they just saw us randomly chug beers and hit a home run, and it was just amazing. It was a blast. What is this? Why are these guys doing this? College is so fun. I couldn't do it, like, if you were like, could you redo it right now? No.

I don't think my body could handle it. I wouldn't want to. Like, would you do it like if you're like, could you redo it right now? No. I don't think my body can handle it. I wouldn't want to. Like, would you do it again? I think that's the beauty of it. I was like, I did it once. Yeah. It's so, I have so many stories. I could talk college stories for probably five hours easily.

Do you have any of your college friends on here? Yeah, I've had plenty. My roommate is a college friend. We're in the same fraternity. Okay. My buddy Connor on. Who else? Ringleberg.

A few of them, yeah. I would like more of them. A lot of the people I've had on here are now comedians and people who have lived in Wisconsin. I would like more people from college to have on. Just because I know, one, I know the stories are going to be great, and I'm comfortable with them. You can tell when I have people on that I'm not comfortable with talking to. So, like, my girl was telling me, she's like, you can tell.

She's like, you were comfortable on when I was – she listened to ours on yours, and she's like, you were comfortable. I was like, yeah, I like him. And she's like, I listened to some other ones, and you're like, you were comfortable on when I was, she listened to ours on yours. And she's like, you were comfortable. I was like, yeah, I like him. And she's like, I listened to some other ones. And you're like, you can tell you don't know where you can talk or what you can share about. And you have like, you're like, oh, I need to do all the work for the sentence. You know, you have to make the conversation flow this way or flow that way. And it's pulling teeth basically is what you're doing.

And then when you're with your friends, it's like, oh, we're back we're just hanging out yeah it's just a microphone in front of us yeah it's it's nice doing it with someone who also does the podcasting stuff because neither one of us want dead space we know it's not the end of the world but there's oftentimes when people come on like oh i'm the guest this is all about me but they don't understand like oh this one is just like i just want to talk to you it should be like a give and take yeah and so when they're like and like oh you're not going to keep talking okay so i gotta think of something else right now we i got a few buddies on mine that i get to just relive stories on and i hear stories that i've

never heard before yeah uh there's plenty plenty of times where I would pass out early or be at a different party and they're like, oh, yeah, remember that time? I was like, no, I don't. Not at all. When was that? See, I've never been the guy that's passed out early. I'm usually the one telling them,

dude, do you know what you did last night? When it's like, Kuski, do you know what you did last night? That means it was a bad. Because I'm very bad not very bad like i'm good at not losing control completely yeah um when i do not good see we would have people that could it was just like a real hangover story where people could piece different parts together yes there was one time i woke up and my stomach hurt so bad not like inside the outside yeah and i was like why did my stomach hurt and then my other buddies his fist hurt

um and then our buddy big red was like yeah charlie you punched judd in the stomach a bunch of times because he said that's how houdini dies but i can take it and i was like why would i say that yeah i love those i will i love when you can piece together a night and no one said anything that's how Houdini dies, but I can take it. And I was like, why would I say that? Yeah. I love those. I will. I love when you can piece together a night and no one said anything too bad. The worst sentence you can hear when you wake up is, you know what you did last night?

It's the worst sentence you can hear. You're like, fuck, I'm going back to bed. We would always have like worse. My buddy, one time he was in Chicago and then came back. He was like,

guess what I did last night? And I was like, you know, I'm not going to guess. Just tell me. He stole a sign from a church that said it was a Spanish church. It said worship and inglesias, which means church. And then it had two times. It had Wednesday at 6 and Saturday at 11. It had Wednesday at 6 and Saturday at 11.

So at Wednesdays at 6 and Saturdays at 11, we just took a Sharpie marker and put an S on that in Glacier, and we would just play Enrique Glacier's Power Hour on Wednesdays at 6 and Saturdays at 11, and we would just blast it through our apartment complex. Were you Power Hour people? Yeah, we would make a playlist. It's how i met one of my best friends is power hours we we've made one kinda but i remember living in this fraternity house and i just screamed who wants a power hour and this kid popped up and goes it's my favorite way to drink we we had an ipod like an original ipod so i don't i home we'd plug it in

just go we had two specific ones we found on youtube and our favorite one is our routine i've said so many times on here our routine was him and i had the same accounting class at 3 45 we'd run from accounting to this place called tags and madison. Yep. Which basically, have you been there? Yep. Yeah. You give them an ID with a kangaroo on it that says, I hate Asians, and they'd still give you beer. And the amount of times they're like, they touch it, and you're like, yeah, you're good.

And they had Coolite in cardboard pallets. I don't know what Coolite is. You don't want to. But I'm pretty sure they stole it off a truck because it was dirt cheap. You bought a 24-pack, they gave you a free 4-pack. So we each get one of those. We were out with again 28 56 beers and we go into my room it's on the corner that faces langdon street which is basically frat row people are walking up and down the whole time power hour power hour and a half depending on if we want to go longer and we just gradually it started with just us two and we gradually

let more and more people join and halfway through is the friends theme song and when it gets to the point where they clap we have like ten people in my room we're all out the window it's on volume 100 and we clap and we get people to like start cheering in our creative playlist we have it in there it's all country music

that is so funny and then I would go to work. You'd go to work after that? I worked at a bar. Oh, then you're fine. And then I would just go bar back. And when he started working there, or Jake, my roommate, we'd all go to work after that. My buddy was the DJ at one of the places.

He was just a DJ. And he would make playlists beforehand and then get super drunk and his thing was he would always when he gets drunk would try to get on the mic and try to be like hey if you give me a boo i say yeah boo it was just like to the point where he would drunkenly embarrass himself where he's like judd you have to hide the mic from me tonight you got to hide it in some place so then i would have the mic and i would like tryly embarrass himself where he's like, Judd, you have to hide the mic from me tonight. You got to hide it in some place. So then I would have the mic and I would like try to walk around so he wouldn't find it.

And then sure enough, he'd find another mic, plug it in, and he would just try to be like, and it was just the best. We would get in there and just play the worst songs, like just outcast and like everyone's like, play something that we know. And we're like, like no these are all deep cuts i hated i hate being on aux i hate it so much pressure like if someone's like michael play music it is a staple of mine no matter what someone tells me michael play music for the party i will put on fruit salad by the wiggles every time so much that at one point spotify goes hey you like

this you might like other songs yeah um that i put it on they're like never mind you're not doing music i'm like that's all i wanted it's like doing a chore so bad your parents like all right you're never doing this again i i'm i'm good at it i think i'm a good dj i try to play a variety i usually start with rock and roll by the glitter something and it's you know hey oh that's a good song to get it started and then you got to play some like 2000s jam like uh back that ass up or something like that and then slow it down with some country and then bring it back up you know it's just a nice little roller coaster it's all gonna be stuff that majority of people know the

words to yeah or at least or like i know know the chorus yeah you gotta stick with all classics no deep cuts and who gives a shit about what you like it's all about what the people you can throw one in that you like if you're throwing in some blink 182 i miss you everyone's gonna know that song you play uh the ying yang twins they're gonna know the song i mean you get like one that you're like, oh, I like this song. That's for you. But I guarantee it comes on. You don't even know what's playing. Same with karaoke.

Don't play anything that I don't know. Play the classics. I don't care if it's Creed. Play it. If it's a crowded bar, play what other people like because it's going to drown your shitty voice out. Yeah. Like, I know tonight. But if it's also just.

Are you going to it tonight? No. But if it's just you and your friends there, play something you like. I get it. But if it's a crowded bar, don't ruin the whole atmosphere because you're playing – Unless you're the best singer in the world and you're going to kill this. No. Even if you're the best singer in the world,

I guarantee you that bar you're at doesn't have the best sound system. So Adele even sounds like fucking crackly voice yeah yeah i don't like karaoke don't don't do it that's my i'm gonna ask you one final question just because i think we're over and it's right yeah let's wrap this shit up um this is gonna be my last one for i think the rest of the episodes i liked it with ryan you have four people your mountain rush more four people you send to meet the aliens. Who are they? Send to meet the aliens? Yep, like your ambassadors for our planet.

Aliens come down, four people. Number one, Gary Busey. You know, just throw him out there. He's already an alien. He's messing with the aliens. They don't know what's happening. Number two, probably Alex jones we're throwing alex jones he already thinks there's aliens so like it's validation for him you're sending a believer oh i'm sending people that if they get killed we're not gonna miss them like we're gonna

be okay i'm not sending anyone that i like you also don't want them like we hate these guys so much they're gonna kill us now yeah yeah all right so we have gary bucey and alex jones uh the sham wow guy i think he he bit off a prostitute's tongue one time that's true that's impressive look it up um he'd be mel gibson i think mel gibson has he did wasn't he do the science movie wasn't that is that joaquin phoenix i don't know but you're mount rushmore we're fucked well wait are they supposed to like actually like help us however you want oh Oh, yeah. I sent four people that.

Aliens are here. We don't know what they want. Who are you sending? My favorite is those four people we send there, and they come back and say there's aliens. We're still not going to believe them. Yeah. They're already there. We could see the ship and be like, really? Who's you for?

I don't know yet. I got to think about it. Okay. Yeah. I really got to think about it. I don't want it to take another yeah yeah i really gotta think about it i don't want it to take another 30 minutes for me to think about it to be honest i want to put me in the four just because i'm so goddamn curious but that's selfish as fuck true all right my last question

for you is uh favorite comedian right now tom segura tom segura you always will be do you have more on there we can do them real quick if you want no i i yeah i have a favorite comedian and also favorite comedian in the scene who do you like who do you think in milwaukee scene that people should check out we're not in it yeah i i think who has in my opinion who's gonna blow up the most in the near future i think is david yes david lewis that's my opinion um eric smith hands down and i don't know him i think i've said three words to him and it's hey sorry i'm in your way um but he's great i haven't seen ton a lot i'm curious to see what aj is gonna do but i think right now the person who has the most traction in my opinion is david lewis yeah david lewis is great i love his energy it's a perfect mix of like high energy

hateful curiosity intelligence he's just great he's taking swings out there he's like he's not afraid to yeah do something crazy on stage like stand on tables or get your attention that way. No, I think he is one of the people that I will look at and I'm like, all right, I genuinely enjoy it or will learn from him. And it's nice. But yeah, I think that's the one right now. Mainly because I see he's getting a lot of traction.

Yeah. But yeah, he's doing great. He's fun to watch. Yeah. If you ever have a chance, go see David Lewis. Yeah, for sure. Well, thanks for having me, man. I appreciate it. This was a blast. This is fun. I think If you ever have a chance, go see David Lewis. Thanks for having me, man.

I appreciate it. This was a blast. This is fun. I think we're just over an hour, so it's perfect. We'll do it again. Cheers.