Transcript
Discussion (0)
Start off with a riddle.
No, that's me and Braxton's thing.
Is it though? Because he put it on you.
So can it really be your thing?
Well, I know he...
Come on, Braxton.
You know what? He had better things to do with his life.
I'll destroy Braxton's life if it's the only thing I do with him.
If you talk louder, the mic will pick you up and you can tell him how much you hate him.
Braxton, I really, really, really hate you.
You still on?
You good?
You haven't gone black yet?
No I'm good Are these supposed to be faced that way?
Yeah let's turn ears a bit
Holy shit
Okay so these are shit mics
No
Well the mics aren't
The stands are
Okay
But it might move
Just
Come a little closer
Remember this is
Come a little closer baby It, this is your other radio. Come a little closer, baby.
It's like we have a producer now.
It's kind of cool.
I've had one person offer to run the social media,
and if you're going to be here looking stuff up
and telling Jack where to go, he could be the producer.
Maybe my audience will go from five to six then.
Yeah, direct us.
The whole time it's just us talking to her.
Yeah.
Has this started?
Yeah, I never tell people when it starts.
It's been going.
Yeah, because if I say ready, set, go, then you kind of get all clammy.
Like Piper wanted to have a beer before he started, loosen up.
I just wish it was brighter outside no no can't do i haven't looked up riddles for the rain is all part of the spring you know it's it's good it rained all week though
yeah i don't like that you seen how green the grass is how beautiful is that
you are always a glass half full kind of guy and it pisses me off yeah yeah that sucks i get a lot
get a lot of heat from it so i mean sometimes you gotta let people complain just a little no i do i
do it wasn't bad i got all of my practices in this uh except for one but yeah otherwise all the
practice even on what was it wednesday there there's lightning through right up until the end.
He stopped and went, fuck it, we're going.
Which I like.
I don't.
How are those little twerps doing?
They're fun.
I think fifth and sixth is a blast.
They're young enough, and I've said this the last couple episodes,
they're young enough that they don't have, like, egos yet.
Yeah.
So, they're honestly, they're just having fun.
Like, they do this thing
called bird boxes so at the middle school there's these two bird boxes at in this uh baseball field
okay and that's like they're running they do yeah and so after like partner passing and agility
ladders coach will go all right right hand cradle their lacrosse sticks from one bird box on the way back switches to the left and they
jump for like right right now if a coach said to me we're playing games i'd be like fuck yeah yeah
they're like oh bummer they're like oh you guys are gonna go run a mile like i've been waiting
all one kid literally said i've been waiting all day for this really that's awesome that's which
that's all you need some enthusiasm i hate to break it to him but Jaden that's gonna change
real fucking quick
you should be running with him
almost next year
I think once you get to
like 7th and 8th
you're gonna be like
I'm fucking done with this
some of them are a little
more mature than others
a little moody
but that's just part of it
I genuinely enjoy
watching them have fun
and I do have to
constantly remind myself that they are 5th and 6th graders.
And this is when a lot of kids start playing sports.
True.
So, I mean, when did you start playing sports?
Probably, well, like 4th grade.
Yeah.
I did flag football in 3rd grade.
Well, like, TwiNight, we started, like, kindergarten.
Like, TwiNight is baseball.
I was going to say, what the hell is that?
Sorry.
That's a Greendale thing.
Oh, I guess I started earlier, too, for literally literally baseball yeah t-ball i played t-ball for two years and i
quit because i was afraid of getting pitched at and i did gymnastics t-ball you just t it up
that's no i i did t-ball for two years and then you go to rookies at little league i think it's
called yeah or something yeah and they start they start pitching at you or no there's a machine that
pitches and i was like i don't want to get hit with the ball.
So I decided I'm going to go play football and get hit with bodies.
Yeah, that's better.
That's better.
But no, I did gymnastics too young.
But I do have to remind myself they are fifth and sixth.
Yeah.
Seeing some of them that do have talent is like, oh, come high school,
you guys are going to be pretty good and whatnot.
That's cool.
You got to keep them in that because that's not a sport that a lot of people like get into at all no but it's definitely
because it's growing we started it when we were in high school and we've seen i mean dude um
guess who's announcing franklin high school baseball and lacrosse
with mr gain i'll give you that hint.
Is it game?
No.
With?
Did they play lacrosse?
Nope.
They played baseball.
Yeah, out of Franklin.
Do I know?
John Fouser.
Shut up.
Really?
Yeah.
I was thinking, I'm like, please don't be something I don't like. Please don't be
something I don't like. I told him I would go to those
Franklin high school baseball games that I have
no connection to just to hear them announced
together. Because that would be so fun.
So he's getting paid for it?
I will not go to the baseball games, but I will
go to the lacrosse games because I will already be there.
Yeah, well, John will be at
I think everyone, I don't know.
But yeah, it's kind of funny.
Well, is he a full-time teacher there now,
or is he a full-time sub probably going to be a teacher?
Yeah, he's, like, applying to be a full-time teacher there,
but he is just a sub.
But, like, I mean, so many teachers are out every day.
And I think this one teacher almost got –
One teacher, I think, got fired. I hope I can say that on here. And he kind of just took over for him for the rest of the one teacher I think got fired.
I hope I can say that on here.
And he kind of just took over for him for the rest of the year, I think.
This year, for math, high school.
Teacher got fired?
I think.
Do we know why?
Anything juicy?
Juicy, juicy?
I don't know.
I think John obviously knows.
I don't know.
Would you tell me it if you knew anyways?
Yeah, I would.
You would?
I feel like it's really not that juicy.
I feel like he did tell us, actually.
But it's just like...
I feel like now to get fired from anything, it's so easy.
It's a soft world out there.
You look at someone the wrong way.
Like our little lazy producer over there.
That would get me fired.
I was going to say, you're out of here, man.
If this wasn't my show, she would have canned me already.
You're out of here.
Yeah, that's how it is.
I wonder who got fired.
Because, I don't know.
There's a lot of teachers.
Because we've talked about it.
And he's brought up teachers that I just don't remember.
Granted, it's been seven years since.
Holy shit, seven years since high school.
It's a good time, yeah.
We're getting old.
I saw...
You want to feel old?
I got to read this off to make sure I get it right, but...
I saw it on Twitter the other day, and it's just like a little picture.
One second.
Yeah, no, take your time.
By the way, what are you guys doing tonight?
Don't really have too much planned here. Do you want to hang out with me? Yeah. take your time by the way what are you guys um what are you guys doing tonight don't don't
really have too much planned here do you want to hang out with me yeah here i found it by the way
it's a picture of will smith that doesn't really have much to do with it but just the line
it just says it's like a little look he's giving just a picture and it says me realizing
that kids talking about the 90s today is the same as kids in the 90s talking about the 60s.
Like back in the 90s talking about the 60s.
Like 30 years.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Well, I guess like the beginning of the 90s, but it's within the...
Yeah.
There's a little mind blower for you that...
When you actually hear that, like it's about... I'm approaching 25... Yeah. There's a little mind blower for you. Yeah. When you actually hear that,
like, it's been...
I'm approaching 25.
Yeah.
And I always say 25, round up 30,
which means I'm basically dead.
You say that around anyone that's above 30,
they look at you and go,
go fuck yourself.
No, I sent that in a few group chats
and I just...
I ruined some people's days.
Yeah.
I mean, you kind of ruined mine a bit.
It's a shocker.
Let's hope the sun comes back out.
Otherwise, I don't know if I'm doing anything right.
I wanted to be the person who wouldn't say, oh, we started.
Because I know it's always like that.
I know.
I did it.
I'm making t-shirts.
Are you?
It says, oh, we started?
Yeah.
I have a list of things that we can do t-shirts for i had
a list and had them mocked up for attending a list but then i had this co-host who shouldn't
be named to kind of just like hey man i'm done who's that i don't know he's like i don't like
you anymore you're not fun like i don't even like looking at you're too short like fuck yourself
i'm done and i just had to scrap all of it no i have
i have one t-shirt still mocked up for that that i'll just make it like fat chance vintage and i
think i'm gonna make like two of them and just give one to me and braxton or maybe you guys
that'd be cool it'd be fun i this is a cool setup i love it i absolutely love it i want stuff on that wall
yeah you can i mean you can hang anything from this from this yeah i thought about getting i
have like a few flags but then it feels like too college douchey for me i wanted to bring like a
flag over and just like hang it up and just like have you like just keep it there but it could
i didn't have anything um right now everything the only thing that i like in the background is this baby head yeah that's a
good one who was that baby any i don't know my bro my uh my brother took or founded a store
took a picture of it and sent it to me and he goes how creepy are these things i go yeah um can you
buy me one and then send it to me i was in college and
he did but more him and it's really creepy like you put it on or like i'd have it on roommates
come back like dude you really need to take that off we had it hanging on the wall i put it on i
put it on in here we were waiting for you to come in you can you imagine bringing a girl back and
that's hanging on your wall like hey michael no thanks who's the kid morgan are you tired morgan can you look
this up for us um oh i can't wait to do we'll find something but no i could tell that you were
pumped for this i could tell yeah and that this is your you don't stop doing it, so it's fun.
It's the only thing you're good at.
Wow.
Wow.
It's the only thing you're good at, Michael.
Hey, we can make her go sit outside anytime. We could.
I could close the garage door.
You just have to go on the other side of it.
But no, I got a nice, sweet, good morning text from you,
and I knew you were pumped and that,
that really was a good start to my day.
Yeah.
You know,
just a nice friendly reminder from Michael Kuski that it's podcast day.
It's Friday.
It's a good day.
It's a love you.
Miss you.
You know,
a little,
sure.
We'll add that XOXO smoochie phase.
Gossip girl.
Got it all from Kuski,
you know,
incredible start.
No,
eventually,
hopefully one day I can give you the good morning text
and a good night text
because we might go out to dinner after this.
Not today.
Would you ever text a girl a good night text?
I'm scuffed.
I need to just give you a microphone.
Would I ever text a girl a good night text?
Yes.
If it's your girlfriend, of course.
I'm not like this scum of the earth
like never talk to me
kind of person
are you
what is that
no I would definitely send a goodnight
text it's would it be
would it be heartfelt
every day fuck no
tuesday we've been talking all day by the way you shouldn't talk all day because then you like
you kind of run out of things to talk about like hey maybe say something in the morning go about
your business throughout the day talk at the end of the night and that's it but if i'm like already
talking to the person and then i'm like hey i hey, I'm going to bed, good night,
yeah, if I haven't talked to you all day,
or I don't know, I feel like I would be talking to you
either way at the end of the night,
but for some reason we weren't, not out of the blue,
am I going to be like, hey, babe, I love you,
you mean the world to me, good night.
But does that also seem like me?
Like a simple, like, I'm going to bed.
Good night.
Yeah, totally fine.
No issue doing that.
I can't wait until you meet an awesome woman and you really just, you really love her and
you really send heartfelt texts to her.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
Someone's going to do it to him.
I don't know who, but, but someone's going to do it.
You just wait, Michael.
I don't think.
Because I used to hate getting those.
Now you don't?
Now I don't.
You love them? Yeah. Good night text. Do you do good morning texts? Yeah. You don't think. Now you don't, you love them.
Can I take,
do you do good morning texts?
Yeah.
You do.
Yeah.
Every morning.
Yeah.
Dude,
that's a lot.
What?
Yeah.
I mean,
yeah.
I mean,
we don't,
we don't text every throughout the day,
every day.
It's like,
or if stuff comes up,
you know,
usually,
or after like work a call yeah after
work a call like hey what's up how was work but if certain things come up throughout the day i'll
just like send a quick text she'll respond whenever she gets break or like i'll respond yeah that's
like oh i want her to know about this yeah that's that's awesome but it's not like you're just saying
like what are you doing now no i know I know. I don't think you do.
I'm saying that's the worst.
That is the absolute worst.
And that is when you, this is what happens.
You get sick of each other because you try to find stuff to talk about,
and then you just pick fights.
Yeah, the less you talk, the less you fight.
Yeah, exactly.
Just look at each other.
It'll last for years.
Yeah.
No, I mean. The good morning text
I think can be a little excessive.
Does it have to be like every morning
good morning babe or just like
my good morning text would be like the first thing I want to tell her about.
That's about it.
Any scary dreams you had?
Yeah, if i had a scary
dream like hey you're not gonna believe this i killed you three different times last night
yes um we actually just got back from nashville did you know that
no you guys have all had covid brian got it right yeah yeah what was that what is that
oh that's the uh those are the local 12-year-olds.
I thought they were crying.
I thought that was a baby crying.
I thought that was an animal.
I thought it was a flat tire.
So we have crying kids, an animal, and a flat tire.
Let me recreate the noise.
That's a crying kid.
But no, yeah, Brian has COVID right now.
Yeah.
But, I mean, we both got tested this week, too, and we're negative.
Twice.
She went twice.
I got tested two, three weeks ago, and I was negative.
You know, that was my first ever test, really.
Seriously?
Yeah, first ever test.
Good for you.
Oh, look at me.
I'm Superman.
Coke zero.
This body's a temple um no i just i've never had
anything severe symptom wise or whatever and then i think i was like my dad had it and
my mom got tested like everyone in my family got tested for some reason i didn't and everyone was
negative so i'm like oh i'm good and then i think legally one of our seventh and eighth graders tested positive and then there was an
outbreak kind of and so i was like all right i should go get tested just for peace of mind for
them because the school nurse wanted them quarantined true you're kind of part of like
the schools now the youth program i'm a part of the club i'm not part of the high school
i need to emphasize that um although i could'm not part of the high school I need to emphasize that
although I could probably
be a part of the high school
if I wanted to help coach
yeah
the high school team
but no yeah
but that'd be a lot
if I was coaching
three different teams
yeah
I don't think I could do it
no
it's hard enough
learning 30 kids names
and then
60 kids names
and then probably
having to do JV and Varsity
no thank you
yeah i wouldn't get along with them it's hard enough i said this last one there's like two
fifth and sixth graders who are my height if i have to go and i have to explain one more time
that i'm not 17 i'm gonna lose it like so did you just graduate high school i'm like no you
you don't look like that you don't look 17 dude i had the
mustache going for two weeks yeah you gotta keep that it was gross and everything grown out no i
kind of like keep it straight kind of the little stubble yeah i mean but just so that you're yeah
so i don't they don't think i'm one of them like hey michael are you getting in the drill
fuck you one day and i know it's gonna to happen, they're going to find this.
Like, they're somehow going to, like, because now I'm on this Team Snap thing.
I'm on this Team Snap thing, which I thought was Team Snapchat.
Like, they made a group Snapchat with coaches and fifth and sixth graders.
And they're like, Michael, we're going to add you to it.
And in my head, I'm like, I don't want to get a hundred snapchats from fifth and sixth graders saying like hey let's
keep our streak alive no it's just this different app where you can you can throw a message in like
hey practice is canceled we're doing this or that and we can't interact they're not sending
me pictures or anything like that which is great. But where was I going with this?
They'll find you.
Yeah.
So now they have my full name.
I just went as Coach Michael because I don't – Coach Kuski to me is my dad.
That's like now I don't want to be Mr. Kuski or whatever.
That's my dad for now until I have kids.
Now they search you on Instagram.
They find you.
But they have my full name. So if they Google
me at all. If they find Fat Chance, they start
hearing you talk about him.
And they're like, Michael,
you said Jaden's name the other day.
What did you? I'm like, oh shit.
And then I have to go
probably talk to the club.
All that good stuff.
Or they're going to be like, can we come on?
Can we come on?
And all of a sudden, episode 20 is going to be like 26 fifth and sixth graders just crowding around one mic, sucking on juice boxes.
Like, oh, this is Coke.
This is Coke.
Oh, God.
Would you rather be young or old, though?
Would I rather be young or old?
Would you rather be considered young or considered old? rather be young or old oh no i i like that okay i thought 17 was almost a little bit of a dig
just a little bit like i i don't really i don't think i've ever really wanted to i guess when i
wanted like to get into bars i'm like i wish i looked a little older. And if I grow the beard out, I look much older.
But now I couldn't care less.
Like, I don't want to look like I'm 30.
Absolutely not.
I like looking 24 or 17, you know, one or the other.
I don't know which one.
But, yeah, it doesn't bother me.
But, yeah, Brian's got COVID.
That's kind of what started all this.
And I kind of want to go back to that because we were just in Nashville.
Yeah.
Did you go to Florida too, by the way?
No.
No?
We went to Florida over New Year's.
I could have sworn someone was in Florida.
Cameron and Ryan are right now. I swore you were in the picture.
Am I seeing things?
Yeah.
Yeah, you are.
See, I was worried when I texted you that you were going to be in Florida and Josh was going to be there.
Hmm.
Which I need to get both of you on.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
I could do another episode and be like, people might get confused.
They won't be able to tell our voices apart, I don't think.
No.
Just audio, they would have no clue.
Right?
I don't know.
You sound different.
That's because you're having sex with one of them.
You're used to his voice.
No, I think it'd be cool to have both.
I'm sorry.
Too far?
I didn't bring that one up.
Oh, you're not having sex anymore? I'm sorry. No, I I didn't bring that one up. Oh, you're not having sex anymore?
I'm sorry.
You stopped?
That's tough.
That's real tough.
To when?
For Lent?
Lent's over.
Why are we not going again?
Just kidding. What is the rule or like the general rule of thumb on rings?
Is it three months income is what your engagement ring should cost?
No, I think it's three months per income.
Per income?
Sign me up.
I shouldn't have said that.
Yes, you should have.
Rewind, please. Rewind? I'm not have said that. Yes, you should have. Rewind, please.
Rewind?
I'm not editing anything out.
I think you know that by now.
I know.
One of these episodes, this chair is just going to go out from underneath,
and we're going to do everything from the ground.
I mean, this is rocking.
You can stand.
It's kind of...
Get the juices moving, you know? Blood flowing. You can stand. This is kind of... Get the juices moving, you know?
Blood flowing.
You could stand.
This is kind of going down quick.
Maybe I didn't make it strong enough.
No, you did.
No, it's just I'm excited.
I'm excited too.
I never...
Okay, so I actually looked something up for this one.
In preparation that you and Josh were going to be here.
So I just started like Googling fun twin facts.
And I want to see if you knew some of these.
Also, do you know the story of the gym twins?
Yeah.
You do?
No.
Yeah, you're lying to your fucking teeth.
Okay.
Let me find it.
Yeah. Who are you looking at over there?
No one's over there.
I don't know.
The camera.
I'm looking at the camera.
Camera's saying weird stuff to me.
I need to set it up so I can get you a microphone and just like down there,
especially the handheld ones that you can just turn on and off.
Don't you have more mics?
Yeah, I have two more.
But when I tried to get all three of them set up,
so I got all four of them to work for the very first episode of this podcast yeah when i tried
to get three of them to work for their conspiracy i'm a flat earther podcast um yeah that one none
of them work so then they had to share a microphone so i'm already pissed off we're not in the garage
so strike two strike three the camera turned off i'm like
someone fucking shoot me and then i didn't tighten that camera down so it rotated to the right after
i turned it back on so the three angles are straight on me the whole group and then the
back of my fucking head yeah yeah that's tough so i look like really into myself for that podcast it's just
whole group me whole group me is the whole thing added together all right watch it then quite fact
one question one is this the gym the gym twin no no no this is just fun facts about twins i don't
know if these are true or not but 40 of twins invent their own languages. Do you have your own language for Josh?
Or anything similar?
No.
Nothing?
Oh, wait.
What does the peanut gallery have to say?
The fact checker.
Good input here.
Thank you for looking that up.
No, we did. My mom always used to say
when we were younger, in our cribs she would walk in
and we would just be mumbling you sounded like the kid outside probably probably but like we
would mumble back and forth to each other like we would understand what we were saying and then
you know feedback you know a whole conversation just in mumbles so yeah i think that's i'm part
of that 40 for sure all right all right i like that
i think i mean we didn't make it up no i mean i mean you did make it up but you did okay next one
fact two did you know that identical twins have different fingerprints i feel like that's pretty
normal like i wouldn't expect you and j to have the exact same fingerprints. True.
For some reason, I always thought we did.
Really?
Yeah.
Apparently you don't. We have, like, technically the same DNA.
Like, exact?
Yeah.
Identical twins do.
Like, there's...
Is that on here?
Wait, fact check me if you want.
I think that...
I'm pretty sure that's right.
No two people have the same thing.
Yeah, okay.
So, moving on.
But the same DNA.
I didn't know that.
I thought maybe it'd be like, I know you're like a chromosome off or something.
Same sperm, same egg, you know.
Yeah, sorry.
Had to throw that in there.
Okay.
Did you know you and Josh could have had two completely different skin tones?
No.
Didn't know that.
You could be black.
Really?
I have no idea if that's the extent of it.
That can't be right.
Does it have an explanation?
My mom was white and dad was black.
Oh.
And they had twins together.
One could be white, one could be black.
Okay.
That makes way more sense than
two white parents having one black and one white child yeah yeah yeah welcome to the
chat chance podcast where we look nothing up um you can develop different disease that's dumb
i didn't think they're picking up what she's saying not i barely did our audience hear
barely explanation barely but it's okay okay i mean it's only for me and michael and
and morgan to know so i didn't i didn't really uh i think they got the gist of it after i said
that makes way more sense um i really didn't read through all these some of these suck um
you can develop different diseases i mean that makes sense um it is possible for twins to have different dads I think that's two
different sperm one mom and one egg good good for the mom mom's having a good
time oh here come the babies the babies the what did you call them? Flat tire. Flat tire or a greasy bike chain.
No, those are interesting though.
I've never.
Are you two the youngest?
This is the most interviewing I've ever done.
Yeah, we're the youngest.
Oh, hey Andrew.
What's up?
Morning.
Morning.
Say hi.
Morning.
Why do you keep saying morning?
It's 5pm, I think.
So that's my brother.
Yeah, we're the youngest.
That's the youngest. Last episode you saw the middle one just walk right through.
We're the youngest.
A lot of respect for the brand that's on right here. The what? For your brand. middle one just walk right through we're the youngest the what I did to his
defense I didn't text him but also to my defense every time the garage is half
cocked I think they know what's going on yeah but you are the youngest we are the
youngest have an older brother Kennedyedy yeah older sister hayley yeah and then out
come the twins okay because i think your parents realized but josh is the youngest he's the youngest
so they realized oh no this is a set of non-identical twins god i gotta read better
but do you know by how much older i am than josh i don't. You want me to guess? Yeah. Okay.
It's a fun little game.
Is it a lot, a little, or a medium?
It's a lot for twins.
Oh, this was one of the facts.
You guys can have different birthdays,
which seems pretty common knowledge.
Like if you're 1159 and he's 1201.
Yep.
I want to say you're like two and a half hours.
More.
Four.
Less. Three and a half? Less. Three. like two and a half hours. More. Four. Less.
Three and a half?
Less.
Three.
Yes.
Yes, three hours.
Which people usually lose their mind at that, but yeah, it is a long time if you think about it.
Your poor mother, by the way.
Yeah.
She's already knowing, like, hey, I'm squeezing two out here after I've already had two.
Yep.
So, outcomes number three and then number josh just
like i want to stay i'm gonna stay a little longer and the funny thing is it's not really funny but
my friends always joke around about it is that see he's still in school right so he's like what
three hours behind you and graduating yeah there you go is that what the joke was or no okay no it's not so i don't mean
to get sad here but i almost died because josh like at birth because josh was stealing all the
nutrients so i was born like very yeah like premature kind of so you came out like a fun
size candy bar and he was like a he was a normal size baby but i was tiny and so i
the joke is i i needed to get out of there before josh really just before he just ate you before he
ended it on me so i i slipped right out and then josh he loved it in there because he was were you
sick fed a buffet you know so he just wanted to stay in and he just when he was holding on for dear life when he realized the buffet was coming to an end they closed shop yep so that's the joke
i'm free get me away from that maniac
something like that is what my mom said yeah that's a true story my middle brother the one who came through
last episode came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck
and my dad said he came out purple so like my mom gave birth like barney
that's like legit was like almost dead yeah that is how so many babies die i mean he's here he's i
mean yeah he's alive and well.
Sometimes I like to think the umbilical cord took like his voice from him
because he never fucking talks.
Yeah.
Um,
unless he's drunk,
but yeah,
no,
that,
and then I don't,
my mom said,
Andrew,
just right out.
I'm like,
I don't mom just,
what about you?
I mean,
I was one,
I'm assuming it was probably the worst one.
Yeah, probably. Um, I mean, I was one. I'm assuming it was probably the worst one. Yeah, probably.
I mean, I broke the seal.
You did.
That's a bad way to put it.
That is such a bad way to put it.
Yeah, I wish I didn't just agree with that.
By the way, speaking of breaking the seal, you're moved over just a bit.
I got you.
If you have to go to the bathroom at all during this,
Piper went like 90 times.
Just go outside.
I'll talk to the camera.
Or actually, our producer can come in and talk to me for a bit.
Go outside.
It's daytime.
People are going to see me.
It was sunny outside when he did it.
Just go around the corner and away from.
Did you say take a shot?
What are you trying
to get to happen
tonight
oh wait hold on
let's keep going
with these facts
I really don't have
to pee but
no I'm just saying
like if you have to
okay
also good news
for your mother
yeah
mothers of twins
live longer
really
yeah
so Mrs. Ringelberg
good for Corey
cheers to a long
happy life
or just long life
I don't know
what's going on.
Okay.
She's happy.
Ooh, twins.
This one was crazy to me.
Twins can have different birthdays, which we talked about.
And I'm thinking it's like, if yours is three hours, born at 10, your brother's born at one.
We have someone from our high school a few years younger who have different birthdays.
Just because it is like the 11, 58,
and then they were born.
Guess the longest gap for twins
according to twins.org.au.
I want to go outrageous here.
I don't know how outrageous it is.
I'm going to encourage you
to go a little outrageous.
I was just going to say like a day,
24 hours straight up. Oh, then I encourage you to go a little outrageous. I was just going to say like a day, 24 hours straight up.
Oh,
then I want you to go
astronomically outrageous.
What?
And when I say this number,
part of me doesn't believe it,
but then I want,
Morgan,
imagine you're having
little Ringelberg
and it's twins,
okay?
Because now they run in the family.
And then imagine
waiting 63 days in between.
No way.
So you're in labor for 63 days.
63 days.
How is that possible?
Can you imagine what kind of buffet?
Josh would have came out.
Josh would have came out the size of you now.
What?
Wait, I'm trying to think.
They would have had to pop your mother like a zit to just.
63 days? At that point point why is the mother not just
It says twins can have different birthdays
Longest gap is 63 days
I am going to fact check this
Oh no I can't get rid of this
Because then we got to talk about the uncanny case
Of the gym twins
Two estranged twins who led identical lives
Wait
Yeah it was
I did research for about 30 seconds.
That's about it.
Longest gap between twins.
I have another story about triplets that...
Oh!
It was a documentary I watched on an airplane once.
I'm sorry.
It's 87 days.
Wow.
According to...
Well, this is ITV.com.
Twins born 87 days apart are to be entered into the Guinness World Records
for the longest amount of time in between births.
Maria Jones Elliott went into labor three months early with Amy,
who weighed just one pound three ounces.
Her sister Katie did not arrive for another 87 days.
So basically what happened is she thought she was going into labor.
Mom took a shit, and then out came Katie 87 days later.
Maria, if you're out there and listening, which I know you are,
I don't want to compare you to a piece of shit, but, I mean,
one pound, three ounces.
I think I know some guys that have taken one that big.
No, this documentary I saw once on an airplane about these triplets who,
they were part of a study, like a psychological study or something like that,
were separated at birth.
And then they lived out in New York, New Jersey area.
They were separated.
All three of them were in that area, though?
Yeah.
Okay.
So they had no idea they were even triplets or even knew, like, their brothers and sisters.
Like, they just thought, like, they were, I don't know.
They had all, like, were all adopted and stuff like that.
And then one time, they were, like, in college at this point.
And one of them, like, like transferred schools went to the other school
that like it was his first day there and all of a sudden everyone was saying hi to him like saying
like a different name yeah like his name was actually like school no his name was like tim
and they were saying what's up bob or whatever i don't know their names what's up bob how you
doing today and stuff like that and like he was just so confused. And eventually he somehow ran into, like, his twin brother.
He thought they was twins.
They ended up, like, being best friends, same exact person, because they were triplets.
And they still didn't know.
They didn't know there was another one out there.
Wait, hold on.
When they became friends, they still didn't know they were twins?
They figured it out then.
Okay.
And then, like, I want to say, like, news stories, like, just exploded about these two guys who, like, figured out they were twins.
And then there was one more who, like, saw, like, the headlines and was like, oh, my God.
That's, those are, I'm, those are my brothers.
And then, like, he joined and they were triplets.
And, like, they created, like, they opened, like, restaurants, bars, like, New York bars like new york city and like yeah just a huge crazy story is that the brothers bar i'm just kidding
yeah um that's nuts can you imagine but it's all because like and then they said yeah they like
as they grew up they remembered taking these like tests with like doctors early on and like
hadn't really no idea why but they were like like taking these like tests with like doctors early on and like hadn't really
no idea why but they were like like taking down like characteristic traits and stuff like that
just to see like if they like grew up the same like because they want to do studies on triplets
or something like that but yeah it was all like just coincidental and they ended up meeting up
i was gonna ask can you imagine going out to a bar and just seeing someone identical to you because like you've done that so many times who is texting okay someone has my number i get like age defy
a cream which eliminates eight years from your face while you're sleeping no surgery needed
i get these like three times a day um that's someone just trying to be an ad on your your
fat chance podcast it's it's definitely they got a. It's definitely from a brand.
List it off, man.
There's your money maker. We gotta do...
I think the triplets is crazy
because it's another person.
This Jim Twins thing.
Jim Twins
of Ohio. They were reunited
at the age of 39.
Wow.
They were separated at birth.
Where do we go?
So they were put up for adoption in 1940.
At three weeks old, their adoptive parents coincidentally both named them James.
Really? So they're separated, both named the same name.
Identical twins.
Got it.
What are we going to do with her?
Go.
Just go.
I'm so sorry.
I don't think anyone heard that except for me.
It's just going to be me going.
Yeah.
Where was I?
Okay.
They're adoptive parents,
which is why they both named them James.
Both men came to be named Jim for short,
and that was just the start of it.
Oh, God.
The two would grow up only 40 miles apart from each other
and go on to live lives that were spookily similar.
Both families knew that the child they adopted had a twin,
but they never communicated with each other, which I think is odd.
If you know, like— You want to find that person.
For your kid's sake,
you have someone almost the exact
same as you out there.
Wouldn't you want to meet them?
The reason you adopt is to give someone
a better life anyways.
I think most people would agree a better life
is to have a unified family,
yet you're deliberately keeping them from like a blood relative.
True.
It's messed up, man.
Okay.
So both had beloved childhood dogs named Toy.
No way.
And as school children, both had an inkling for math and woodworking, but were no great shakes at spelling.
If their childhoods were uncannily similar though
then their early adulthoods were truly i didn't need to stop reading this word for word um both
jims married twice first time they married women were named linda no so let's let's regroup real
quick james nicknamed jim both had a dog named toy unless that's a typo and it's Troy.
Either way.
Yeah.
Married twice.
First wife, Linda.
Both of them.
When they divorced and it didn't work out,
they met and went on to marry women named Betty.
Fuck.
No.
By the way, I'm learning this for the first time too
because I didn't read this whole thing.
I had a hard time believing this.
I'm not going to lie.
I mean, just look up Jim Twins and this
is what comes up.
Both Jim Lewis and Jim Springer had a son
and I'm sure you saw this coming.
Both gave their boy the same name,
James Allen.
First and
middle name.
Both were heavy
smokers, drove the same car.
It just says a Chevrolet, so, I mean, there are multiple.
I guess at 1940, I don't know how many different Chevrolets there were.
Yeah.
And had similar jobs in security.
This was back in the day, the 40s.
They even took vacations at the same Florida beach.
No.
Did they ever meet?
Nah, I'm probably jumping the gun.
I'll let you keep going.
I think that's just about it
so they finally met
they met 39 years later
what
that's weird
that's freaky
it'd be freaky
meeting
like if you never
met Josh before
and then finding out
his name
he was also given
Jack
Jackson
we call him
Mississippi
both dating a Morgan
yeah
doesn't work out
I would freak out
ends up dating
someone else
she's not even
paying attention
I can't like
that's good
I don't
we don't want her
she has great input
she would be awesome
Morgan look this up
um
Jim Twins
is it real or is it not
oh she's actually doing it
cool
I need another ice cube
I like that knob
I think it's almost gone
same
should we try the bourbon
is that like Ripley's cause I'm on Ripley's so that's Should we try the bourbon? It's a very true story of identical twins who lived the same life in 1940.
Is that like Ripley's?
Because I'm on Ripley's.
So that's... No.
MammaMia.com.
MammaMia.com.
I trust it.
Oh, for sure.
Wait, you said that's correct?
That's a true story?
It has.
Yeah.
That's credible.
That's.... And then finding out you have both married twice.
Both different wives have the same exact name.
Kid, first and middle name is the exact same.
I mean, it's not that...
I mean, how common were Linda and Betty back in the...
Probably very common.
Betty, for sure.
I feel like Linda Yeah let's do
Two stars
I don't
I don't really feel
What is that
Crown Royal
Not sponsored by
Crown Royal
Salted
Caramel
Did you say caramel
Or caramel
I say caramel
Whoa
When you talk about
How they named their
First sons the same thing
Yeah
Where have you been
You were literally
Four feet from us
And we said it about five seconds ago.
James Allen, yeah.
Oh, good lord.
The reincarnation stuff.
I don't know.
I like entertaining all those ideas.
Why is it whenever you're here around this microphone,
it turns into just the weirdest shit?
I just wanted to have a few drinks with my friend Jack.
Talk into a microphone.
That's why I didn't say anything.
You said a lot.
I just need a ride.
Just need a ride?
Yeah, that's it.
Look what he's doing.
You're the driver.
Am I? Yeah. What the fuck? doing. You're the driver. What?
Yeah.
What are we doing after this, guys?
Oh, thank you for getting me.
Dinner.
Welcome.
I need to eat.
Honestly, not much going on.
My dad coaches Greenfield High School football.
Okay, I was going to say, you've got to give me a sport here.
He coaches Greenfield High School.
He just coaches the high school in everything.
Guys, girls, youth.
They play Greendale tonight, so it's a little bit of a bigger game for me.
See, I automatically heard Greendale because you went there.
Yeah.
No.
I did not hear Greenfield at all.
His last year coaching was when Josh and I were seniors.
And then he wanted to try to be like a head coach and stuff.
And it's been good, but this is his last year coaching.
Is he head coach in Greenfield?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
We killed Greenfield every time we played them in high school.
Yeah, we did too.
I think everyone did.
I think Greenfield was the one team.
I feel like a lot of high schools have this.
Like that one team is like, oh, in four years, they never won a game.
Yeah.
They didn't.
At one point, they had to – our JV game got canceled
because they didn't have enough varsity players,
so they had to bring half their JV team up to varsity
so they could play our varsity team.
Yeah.
Yeah, yikes.
No, they're better now.
They are. And they were even better like as we played them too right but yeah but we just destroyed everyone so it didn't really
matter do you do you miss i miss the like high school sports the like how much people cared about it and having fans
come for you.
I don't miss football
though. I miss
the atmosphere of high school
football. I don't miss actually
playing it. I miss playing
lacrosse.
I miss football. I loved football.
That was my favorite sport.
I think I was
significantly better at lacrosse than football.
Yeah. I don't know.
Offense is way more fun than defense.
Oh my god, it's way more fun.
No, I don't miss it.
I remember when I went to Madison to play
lacrosse
and going to the games, I was pumped.
Especially coming from high school,
you're like, oh, I'm playing college lacrosse.
You know, it's a club.
It's like, oh, the coach came.
He wanted to know if I wanted to play.
I feel like, oh, kind of like doing well.
No, that's cool.
That's really cool.
It's cool.
And, I mean, it wasn't a big deal.
It's like basically, hey, we'd like you to have you play, so we have numbers kind of thing.
Yeah.
But then you go to, like, one game, and it's like a park that's available you don't have a set field
at uw madison there's no set field for us to play really like the first game we played we just
played um actually that's a lie first game i played was outside the college rava which was
pretty fucking cool my high school coach came to watch whatever that is cool and so that one i was
like oh this is gonna be fun my parents were there High school coach was there, and it was in Milwaukee,
and a lot of kids on the team were from Milwaukee,
so there were plenty of people there.
First game in Madison, though, was a park.
They hadn't cut the grass.
It was nom.
It was hilly just from the bombs that went there,
and it was like my mom and my dad there and like four other parents,
and I enjoyed playing, but I was barely with anyone I knew, And there was, it was like my mom and my dad there and like four other parents.
And I enjoyed playing, but I was with, I was barely with anyone I knew.
And I had no one there that was like for me, which it sounds selfish, but at the same time, like that was kind of nice when you went out there.
It's like, everyone's here to watch us.
Now it's just like, if I played that game, no one really knew.
Like I could have not played that game, lied about it,
and people would have believed me.
True.
But I do miss that.
It was fun.
Getting together like Friday night or like Thursday walkthrough is like,
oh, Friday is going to be fun.
We ended up at George Webb's afterwards.
Just still to this day my favorite diner I've ever been in.
Yeah, I love it.
Love it there.
Yeah, I know it's my dad's last season, I know. It's my dad's last season.
And it's spring.
Obviously, they push off the spring.
Because you could.
Yeah, I didn't even register either.
The schools chose to either have fall or spring.
So it's.
I think Franklin chose to have fall.
Yeah.
I think it was like in the state, like half did fall, half did spring.
But with spring, like there's no playoffs.
Like it's so different. What is it?'re just playing to play pretty much and like for some people like it's important
but yeah like the last game of the season it literally will just stop kind of for no I guess
for some people like the people are still getting like want to play in college and getting recruited
and trying to get maybe a tape at like the very. Some looks, for sure. Yeah. It's huge. But if you were to ask me my senior, I don't know what I would have done.
Knowing I'm not going anywhere for football,
it's going to interfere with the cross.
Yeah.
Would I have played football if I had to do it in spring
knowing we wouldn't go to playoffs, there was no, like, ultimate goal?
I don't think I would have.
Would you?
I would.
Really?
Dude, but you were good, though.
Like, your team needed you.
You started.
Like, you clearly played a part.
Team didn't need me.
They needed you.
I think I just filled, like, a hole.
That I was just, like, a body.
I mean, by no means do I think I was bad.
that I was just like a body.
I mean, by no means do I think I was bad.
I think I was smarter than I was athletic when it comes to football.
Like I wasn't, I'm not big.
That's a big part of it.
I just compared myself to a fifth and sixth grader earlier.
I'm actually in better shape.
Tenacious though.
I'm actually in better shape than I was in high school.
Yeah.
I think I weigh 20 pounds more than I did in high school. Yeah. I think I weighed 20 pounds
more than I did in high school too.
Which, I think
a good 20 pounds more. If you asked me
two years ago, my 20 pounds
more,
it was like
bad. And then your mom called you out
and you changed. Twice.
Your mom really,
mom helped. She helped.
She put you down, but that's maybe what yeah i think when you're when you first when you get that first like non i think moms often give
us like white lies yeah i don't think i know she actually just gave one to my brother for
a while my brother just turned 21 and in february and he had gotten two or three underage drinking tickets and we were trying
one was kind of like bs i think or i don't know the exact story and we were talking like a lawyer
to try and lessen a ticket or something like that and my mom just made up this lie from this lawyer
said andrew if you get another one before you're 21 you could go to jail by some law or something like that.
Yeah.
He didn't go out for three months.
Good.
I think it was three months.
Two days ago, my mom told me, you were never going to jail.
He goes, what the fuck?
She keeps you in line.
That's what you need.
But yeah, when she, and I think I deep down knew it too.
Because I had occasionally like when you're bored and you're like scrolling through your phone,
you see a picture of yourself and you're like, dude, there was a six pack there in high school.
I now have a different six pack.
It's just I'm holding it in my hands.
So when she, it was two winter breaks in a row.
She goes, you're looking a little soft.
Yeah, that's the word. That's debilitating. so when she it was two winter breaks in a row she goes you're looking a little soft yeah yeah
that's the word that's debilitating and then she also go when you have your beard your face gets
more full and it's rounder because i don't trim it like you do when you do it well you do it under
your neck which is perfect you don't you don't chin strap it oh my god the people who cut it off
right here yeah then this part your double chin then still shows. Your double chin still shows, but then you're cheating in my head.
It's like, oh, I have a jawline.
No, you don't.
You have a hairline on your chin.
That's it.
That might be top ten pet peeves of people is people who just cut it off here.
I'm like, it looks worse than if you just didn't have a beard.
True.
I'd rather you have a patchy beard everywhere or no beard than you doing this.
Then you have this like what looks like a tumor under your neck.
And then a painted on chin.
But yeah, she did two winter breaks in a row because you're looking soft.
And first winter break, I think I worked afterwards.
I worked out.
I was doing two days for a month.
And I thought, and I did. But you. I worked out. I was doing two days for a month. And I thought,
and I did,
but you also don't know,
like when you first start working out and stuff like that,
you don't know like diet.
And I don't want to get too much into like the health stuff,
but I didn't know how to eat.
So,
and not like I still know how to eat very well,
but you do.
I would significantly better than when I was a sophomore in college.
I don't think I thought just eating healthy was good. So I'd be like,
I would still eat just copious amounts of food.
I was like,
Oh,
rice,
chicken.
Yeah.
And then I would douse it in sauce.
I'm like,
sauce doesn't have calories.
Sauce has probably the most calories in the thing you're eating.
I really don't think it's that much of a difference.
You literally just have to change a few things. Like literally just get a few extra servings of vegetables and fruits in a
day drink more water and just like you need a little like that well you need to put in less
than what you burn that's as simple as it can get yeah you're gonna lose any weight it's just true
that's why i'm addicted to this thing like i have to i don't have one of
those i have to close my rings monday through friday yeah otherwise i feel like a bag of dicks
i could be if i if i my watch is dead i could work out twice but if i don't see it i'm like i didn't
do enough which is psychotic.
It is psychotic.
My mom is like, hey, you're overdoing it.
Like I would go like randomly at 10 o'clock at night and I'd go work out or I'd go for a run.
And it was usually because I was stressed out.
Yeah.
But she goes, you don't need to go do that.
Like this is technically – you biked this morning, worked out in the afternoon.
You don't need to go run again.
Yeah.
Um,
but I need to close it Sunday.
I could give a fuck what this looks like.
It could be negative.
Like,
Hey,
you put on 45 pounds,
sat on your ass for 25 out of 24 hours today.
Yeah.
And I don't know how,
but exercise for negative minutes.
And I'd be like,
that's fine.
It's Sunday
Saturday I feel really
good about the week if anything
closes especially the move
ring
but it's also it's gotten to the point now where like
my goal is 700
calories a day I have to burn
if I just
do 700 like if I hit 701
and it's like
9 o'clock at night I still feel bad about the day.
I'm like, I could have done way more.
It's good and it's bad.
I was going to say it's not a bad mindset to have.
There are worse habits, and it's not like I'm not eating and whatever.
But it is an addiction for sure.
Like this thing never comes off unless I need to charge it. That's never or shower.
Oh, I meant to switch.
I have a different pair of shoes in my car that I was going to put on.
Dude, I put these on for the show every time now.
Those are nice.
Yeah.
These are my new workout shoes.
I got them for indoor lacrosse when I was coaching the kids.
I'm like, I think it's time I start working out and not my bar shoes from madison i have white vans that
had like six holes in each shoe really and i would just work out because like yeah a lot of people
say you can when you like do legs you should have like either elevated heel or a flat heel or
something like that so i'm like oh i'll just they work i'm not running or anything like that
if i run it's for like five minutes like i can run in bands for like five minutes not a big deal
yeah so i just i left them on i don't need to spend money on shoes and finally when i had an
excuse i was like i'm not gonna show up and move around with a bunch of fifth and sixth graders
i needed to impress a bunch of fifth and sixth graders so i'd spoil it down too and i was like
let's go get a decent pair of shoes.
And I saw these at Dick's.
I was like,
I like them.
They're getting a little old dirty though.
No, they look good.
I love the all white.
I don't.
Yeah.
I usually get like just gray shoes all the time.
You know,
just some shoes.
It's smart though,
because they can get a little dirty.
Yeah.
And no one really knows.
Whereas like I can't, if I wore these to the bar, I would, I they can get a little dirty. Yeah. And no one really knows. Dude, those guys are dirty. Whereas, like, I can't.
If I wore these to the bar, I wouldn't stand close to anyone.
You gave Morgan her, what's it called?
Crant?
No.
Why can I not?
Dude, I have so many brain farts when I do this show.
Did a bird just fly into the garage?
Yeah.
What was that?
Dude, it's part of the appeal, the charm of this show.
Hey, I love it.
It's the outdoors.
I mean, sooner or later, I'm just going to open the garage and just see what flies in.
It'll be fun.
I turn the cameras on.
We'll just do audio, but we'll let the cameras just face out what we see.
Well, not see, but like right now we see half a garage and my mom's license plate.
Yeah.
Oh, and Morgan.
Oh, yeah. she's over there.
Where?
But no.
Want to go back to Nashville?
Or Nashville?
I've been trying to.
We were talking about Nashville.
Yeah, let's do Nashville.
Because that is, again, an overarching theme of each show I've done.
I thought it would be great to bring up.
Let's do it.
Gane was there.
You know, Gane is the king of Nashville. Besides Brian.
I see. Brian already lives there.
Gane's more like the town
squire. Just like, hey, let's
make someone laugh.
He did okay.
He did, you know.
He did okay?
He had one bad night.
He almost broke Jack and I up.
No.
Get in here.
Get in.
He did okay.
Hey, for Nashville, Gane, that's a good thing.
You know, one bad night.
Gane, they're such a nice couple.
What are you doing?
They're my friends tonight.
It was fun.
I guess we got address Gain You can't start with
He did well
And then her going
I said he did okay
So almost losing your girlfriend is
Okay
Gain
Gain you did good man
We almost got there
Just kidding
No he did
Gain so close man
We talked about this
Relative to his Like normal times He did better Which should put into perspective Almost got there. Just kidding. No, he did. Gained so close, man. We talked about this.
Relative to his normal times, he did better.
Which should put into perspective for anyone that's listened to this,
that almost breaking up two of the nicest people on this planet is okay for him.
He, okay.
And again, Jake, moving there.
Okay.
Love you, buddy. I think it'll be good for him, moving there. Okay. Love you, buddy.
I think it'll be good for him to move there.
And once he moves there, he wants it as a vacation.
And, like, it'll switch a flip.
Flip a switch.
But, no, we'll talk about.
We are.
I mean, let's talk about it.
So he got a little too drunk one night.
It was our Friday night there. Why don't you guys go down let's start with that you went down friday we went down thursday
okay thursday night came back sunday came back sunday gain went down monday of course he did
because i mean four days he was on a monday through saturday i could even back up even more
so we were in jackson Jackson Hole the weekend before.
Oh, yeah.
I heard a lot about this trip.
From Wednesday until Sunday.
You guys have been traveling so much.
It's been way too much.
Heilman's in Austin, Texas right now.
I saw that today.
I know.
That's so cool.
That's a place I really want to go.
I would like to move there.
So, yeah.
You want to come with?
So Jackson Hole until Sunday.
A bunch of skiing.
We were dead. So Jackson Hole until Sunday. A bunch of skiing. We were dead.
So we get home Sunday.
Sunday late at night because we had a layover in Denver.
Got back to Milwaukee pretty late, like 9 p.m.
Gane goes to Nashville the next day, Monday.
So he does have the job there.
He is remote, but he went into the office and worked.
Into the office a few times to meet coworkers and stuff like that.
So it's like a good move.
He can be a double amputee on Sunday and still make it to Nashville on Monday.
He will do anything.
So he was there from Monday to Saturday night.
He flew out Saturday night because he needed to get back for Easter Sunday.
So he was there Monday.
I think they kind of kept it chill, went to a few bars during the week.
We got there Thursday night. That it chill went to a few bars during the week we got there thursday
night um that night we went we went to losers winners and losers yeah but you go to one you
go to the other basically well that night there was a pretty big artist at winners we waited we
waited in line for a while who was the artist it was was Ross Ellis. I guess he's not big.
But like big.
He's up and coming.
Big in terms of like
Gane definitely knows
who he is
and Brian probably does too.
Gane and Brian were pumped.
We didn't get in.
Well, we got in
but they sent us
right upstairs
and they said
there's no room down here.
Go upstairs to the balcony
and like that's it.
Like you,
we weren't seeing him
or anything
and it was kind of cold
so we were just like there's no point in being here and there was no one up upstairs by the way
we were like the first people to go up and we couldn't do yourself yeah so we literally got up
there we literally went to the bar took a shot and we're like we're gonna leave it's too cold
we went right over to losers stayed there for the night there was another live band there as there
is in every bar in n, and that was fun.
Which is probably one of the biggest appeals to that place.
Yes.
But,
so that was a good night.
That was a fine night.
How many,
how many,
this is the bad night.
How many details do we want?
By the way,
Gabe,
this is the second person that has come on this show,
and has had a story about you that's going to take
longer than 10 minutes
about you in Nashville.
We can be done on Thursday night.
Move on to Friday, please.
I don't know. Thursday's just kind of funny.
It is, but I don't know if Gain wants it on the podcast.
Oh.
There wasn't too much Thursday.
Do you want to whisper it to me and then I'll let you know if Gain will be
approved of it?
No. Do you want to mouth it to me and then I'll let you know if Kane will be approved of it? No.
No.
Do you want to mouth it to me?
No one can hear you.
It wasn't even a big deal.
Oh, yeah.
We'll leave that out.
Really?
Yeah.
Because, yeah.
I'll tell you why.
It's not a big deal at all.
At all.
But, um... Yeah. Anyways. Yeah. We'll go to Friday. We'll tell you why. It's not a big deal at all. At all. But, yeah.
Anyways.
Yeah, we'll go to Friday.
We'll go to Friday.
It's just different reasons.
For me, it's more of a thing.
He just didn't want to come home with us.
He was having too much fun.
That's a great way to put it.
And I wish he would have because us three, me, Morgan, Brian had fun at the house.
But then we went to bed.
Wait, how nice is that house to stay in?
And he showed up later, but it's really nice.
It's really nice.
It's really nice.
And he has it to himself, kind of.
That's part of the story, too.
Our first night there, Thursday night, we got in.
We were there for about 20 minutes, and the travel nurse that Brian,
she owns the place and let Brian live there while she was there.
Is he sleeping with her now? No, he's not. Not quite. and the travel nurse that Brian, she owns the place and let Brian live there while she's
sleeping.
Is he sleeping with her now?
No, he's not.
Not quite.
But she showed up like 20 minutes.
Like we got in there.
We were in there for 20 minutes kind of getting ready for the night and she showed up like
out of nowhere.
She had no idea we were really staying there.
Was that his first time seeing her too?
No, he was with her like the first two days he lived there.
Oh yeah.
I forgot about that
we thought he had no idea she was coming home and like just with having like people sleeping there
he was just kind of shocked and like he wasn't sure if she was really okay with it but she was
she was so nice like so cool so cool about it all she like is she like an older lady younger lady
she's like 26 27 yeah she's kind of cute yeah really cute hey brian uh i'm not
doing anything next weekend um and you said you're out of quarantine so yep so that was our thursday
it was a great night it really was um friday we went to this breakfast place.
Brunch, I would say.
It was probably like we went there at like 1 or 2 p.m.
Bottomless mimosas, bottomless Bloody Marys.
Got food in us.
It was good.
Went to Underground on Broadway.
Have you ever been to Underground or heard of it? Or is it?
Give me some coordinates.
It's literally right next to Acme, like way over on that side.
I think that's –
Oh, it's across the street or is it next to it?
Literally next to it.
I don't know if I've – okay, then I don't think I've ever been in there.
Yeah, it was the first time I've been there,
but literally you're looking down at the Acme balcony, like all the way up.
Oh, so it's above Acme.
It's above.
Acme is a pretty big bar, yeah.
It shocked me that we were looking down on Acme.
Was it warm while you guys were there?
Yeah.
That day was probably like 65.
I think 70 down there is perfect.
You want it to be a little warm.
Yeah, it got a little chilly at night, but it was fine.
So from Underground, we went to Rippy's.
Got dinner there at Rippy's.
People were starting to die off on us.
A few had to go home.
On a Friday night?
On a Friday night.
Because we started pretty early.
Let me guess, though.
Gain's in full fucking force.
Gain was fine at that point.
Oh, shit.
He was at that point.
Nashville's like 50 cc's of adrenaline.
When we ended at Rippy's he quickly
bought a tequila shot for himself
and the singer at
the band who was there at Rippy's.
And I think that's really what did him over
because by the time we got to the next bar, which was
Tootsie's. Great bar. Where his eyes
kind of going back and he's like. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. His eyes were going.
You could kind of tell what was happening.
Mr. Gain, I hope you never listen to this.
Yeah.
So we got into Tootsie's and we were there for a while.
Tootsie's is fun.
I really like.
Tootsie's is a really good bar.
The, I guess technically the third floor of Tootsie's.
That's where we were.
Yep.
Big live, live band there.
Big dance floor. everything was open like
there were really no like when we were there in october it was all you had to be seated you had
to order drinks from a bar you could say there were no fucking rules there were no rules this
time around um yeah but that's when gameane went just a tad overboard.
Let's hear it.
Like, I'm pumped.
How did he almost break you two up?
Just a tad overboard.
I feel like you're going to say such a dumbed-down version of how. I am.
I'm about to.
Morgan, just wait.
Let me say my side.
We'll do both sides.
So if you haven't figured it out yet, have a special guest our producer morgan so he was
he was doing okay the second i realized mike if you can a bit yeah the second i realized he was
gonna move again doing a little doing a little worse than the rest he he took a shot another
one after like the unnecessary shot that i brought this also if you're going to buy, sorry to keep interrupting, but if you're going to buy the band a shot, I feel like you've got to buy them something easy to start because you don't know their preference.
You're like, hey, here's rail tequila because I know he's not buying top shelf.
I mean, he could, but he's like, here's the stuff that's been sitting in the sun for the last four hours.
Rail tequila shot, you and me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And now, did he do tequila again for this?
I think it was.
Or whiskey.
Tequila.
Fact checker.
Is tequila?
Look it up.
Morgan, look it up.
It was tequila.
Morgan and I were by him when this happened.
I mean, we were both pretty lit up at that time, too.
He took it, and then he just started spitting.
He took the shot.
On the floor.
He was spitting directly on the floor.
Every time he took a sip of beer, he spit his beer out on the floor.
He spit on the floor after the shot.
Let's get you in here. And then from there, beer, he spit his beer out onto the floor. He spit on the floor after the shot. Let's get you in here.
And then from there, he was spitting his beer out.
Maybe he knew.
Maybe he was trying to hold it back.
If you're telling me right now this ends with him in an alley with a homeless man again,
I will piss my pants on the spot.
No, it doesn't.
I'll do the rest of the show butt-ass naked.
He was much safer this time
But we realized
From that point
Probably half hour
An hour I don't know
Took his hat off
And chucked it
I don't remember that
At a woman's face
He took his hat off
I need another camera where she's telling you what to say
And you're also just like
Wait he did that?
I didn't know he did that
Random woman
How close were they?
From me to Jack
He just went
Like hard
About four feet away
Was he talking to her beforehand?
No he just put his hat on
I am so sorry
Right now
But let's be honest this is great for me
I might not clip this one
But you are going to be pinned to the top of the channel
At a certain time
And then yeah so from there
I don't know kind of drank more
He was really just black at that point.
Got a little, just kind of tipping over.
A little too, I don't know, taking up too much space, I guess.
That's a good word for it.
Leaning into people.
With our co-host, is that what we're calling him?
Producer.
With our producer.
Actually, we'll call her young morgan
instead of young jamie okay he would kind of came i remember this one time kind of came up to her
just kind of like wanted to say something to you he wasn't mad at you at this point kind of slapped
her in the back a little too hard said something we started realizing maybe that was just too much, you know.
And he's getting a little too out there.
So we were like, okay, he's got to go home.
And then.
Which is like trying to tackle a grease pig.
It was tough.
Hey, we did it successfully.
You got him home?
We did.
We did.
And two bouncers had to carry him out of the seat.
At first, it was me and Morgan.
We said, you know, we'll take him home.
We'll be right back.
I'm glad no one heard that one.
Well, I was going to say that, but I don't have to.
At first, me and Morgan, arm in arm, each side, try taking him.
He's not really budging.
I kind of yank him a little bit.
He's a big boy.
He's a big boy.
And I'm used to kind of trying to corral him. And this was a tougher time. But yank him a little bit. He's a big boy. I'm used to kind of trying to corral
him. This was a tougher
time, but we got him a few steps.
Looks back at Morgan
and just...
You get away from me.
I don't want you to take me.
Then that's when Brian comes in
and
Brian gets his other arm, and we...
Before all this, Brian grabs him by the...
Can you come into a microphone so we don't have to repeat this?
You look so bad.
Oh, my God.
No, you don't.
You were in your pajamas when we did ours.
True.
Okay, so then...
Wait.
After we...
Grab the other stool for her.
She can be in for inferred thanks there you go
you've done this before yes um before we have to be nice to him though we will but before
like we leave he's like going crazy and make sure you're in the camera just for example
shooing shooing morgan shooing me But before, like Brian's seeing all this go down.
So poor Brian is like, you can't be like that towards other people.
So he grabs Gain by the shoulder like this and is shaking.
He's like, you've got to get it together, man.
Hey, Gain, that's not the first time that's happened. Was a little more aggressive about it.
So yeah, that's all I don't want to say.
And then, yeah, at that point, me and Brian, we got him.
We got him a few steps.
And that's when the bouncers see.
And that's when the bouncers kind of step in and say, okay.
They helped us out.
We got this.
Yes.
But me and Brian still had him arm in arm,
but the bouncers kind of just came behind him and were like,
buddy, let's go.
It's time for you to go.
Morgan was just following them.
At Tootsie, so we were on the third floor.
We had to go down a bunch of stairs.
They're kind of tight.
They were tight. You didn't take the third floor. We had to go down a bunch of stairs. They're kind of tight. Yeah.
They were tight.
You didn't take like the direct exit.
You went down the back.
No, we took the direct exit, but it's just straight.
It's straight.
Yeah.
It's long.
It's level.
Like kind of comes out to the stairs.
So we just went down the stairs.
I'm kind of in front of gain.
Just like holding them back a little, making sure it doesn't fall.
I got a few too many steps ahead of him at one point and realized all of a sudden I hear Brian and he goes Jack help
and I look
back and like
if like Morgan was
Gain like there's a bouncer on this side
Brian's like on this side holding him but
but Gain is literally like
cause he was like leaning forward going down these stairs
oh my god he almost went completely
head over ass over T cat
he almost went ass over T cat I looked back and Ass over tea cat. He almost went ass over tea cat.
I looked back and his face was right here
and his feet were just straight.
On the steps, just like this,
being held back by Brian and the bouncer.
And then all of a sudden, I just push him back up.
And that's when I realized,
okay, I got to stay way closer to him.
I love you, Jake.
And then, I don't know.
He's full Superman.
He was.
He was literally Superman.
That's a great way to put it.
So we get out on the street.
He's like dapping up all the bouncers who just helped him get out of the car.
Like, thanks, man.
Like, have a good night.
The bouncers are literally like laughing.
Bouncers loved him.
They loved him.
They loved him.
Well, that's because he didn't cuss him out.
He didn't, from what I'm hearing.
He was just drunk
and having fun, which they probably
like to kick that out at that point.
This is going to be entertaining for us.
Brian and I were kind of making
jokes about it as we were
going down, so they appreciated
the humor in it.
Then we get to my Uber.
My Uber sees Jack and I he's like chilling like calling us over then he sees gain and he was
like uh-uh yeah he was like is he gonna be okay and we were like so at that point i didn't say
anything by the way you know it's gonna be a bad uber ride when the first thing they say to you is
is he gonna puke yeah literally and jack goes he he'll be fine and i was like he better be and the guy's like i've made 19 1900 trips whatever it may be in nashville and he was like and no one's ever
thrown up in my car and i don't want this to be the first one and i was like okay like i don't
really see him throw up though yeah so no he didn't yeah and then we're from there we got him
we get home it's fine we can get Gane out of the car.
He slept the whole way home.
He was fine.
The whole way home.
It was like a nine-minute ride.
The whole way home.
He took a chance.
So we get out.
Jack's in the middle.
Gane's on this side.
I get out.
Gane's not moving.
Jack can't get out because Gane's not moving.
I'm trying to pull Gane out, literally yanking him out, but I'm literally falling backwards because he's a big guy.
Yeah.
And then Jack's shoving him, and then finally Jack picks up his feet like this.
One leg at a time.
Just throws him out of the car, and then I yank him out.
He just falls onto the road.
And Brian's lucky that he doesn't live on a busy street
because literally Gane just laid there.
Gane was laying there.
Dude, if anyone of authority saw that
the cops would have been there and like just like hey i think there's a corpse getting dragged out
of an over literally and he just laid there he laid there his leg was still like kind of like
right under the car if the car would have gone it would have ran him right over but the uber knew
the uber driver knew so he was looking out he was just happy he didn't throw up yeah and then the
uber was like just let me know when I'm good, man.
Like, we literally pick up his leg, move it over one bit so that the tire can go.
The tire can slightly go by. Uber just books it out of there.
As Gane's, like, literally this far from the car.
And, like, we're dragging.
I'm, like, getting get up.
And he's, like, not getting up.
He's like, nah, F you.
I'm not getting up.
And then Jack picks him by his arms, like, lifts him up, goes, let's go, man.
Like, we're getting inside.
And you're going to bed.
He demands a right to bed pretty much after he gained a hundred percent.
Well, Jack put him to bed and then he got back up.
He tackled a quick tackle 12 back.
Yeah, he wanted to get back up, but Jack thought he was trying to like leave.
And so, you know, again, hurt his hand in Jackson Hole.
Yeah.
And it was like bruised and like he thinks it's like maybe broken possibly.
And Jack's like trying to get him back to bed.
His draft holding him by I'm laying in bed at this point.
And,
um,
Jack's putting him down,
but he's like grabbing him by his hand.
That's hurt.
And all I hear is getting,
just go out,
out,
out.
And Jack,
like literally the most monotone.
Oh, oh, oh. And Jack goes, I the most monotone, ow, ow, ow.
And Jack goes, I don't care if it hurts.
You're going to bed. Sorry, Jacob.
That's the meanest thing you've ever done.
Yeah.
Jack was in a grumpy mood.
Like, you don't swear.
It was just adding up.
Glass half full.
And you, to look at Gain and go, I don't give a fuck.
I mean, that's what I would have said.
At that point, we needed a room.
I don't give a frick if it hurts. I don't give a fuck. I mean, that's what I would have said. I don't give a frick if it hurts.
I don't give a frick
if your hand has a boo-boo on it.
We're getting you to bed
to go nighty-night.
Yeah.
It's him that night,
taco 12 pack with the taco.
Is that a taco?
It's just a taco
on his chest.
Just as he's passed out.
No hat on,
he lost his head.
If we were bad friends
and released, I mean, it's bad enough.
We're putting out a full story about him everywhere.
Well, he did it.
So if he didn't want the story out, he shouldn't have.
But if we like, granted, this is with all of us,
but he probably has of all my friends,
the most pictures that could go like viral and be a meme.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
And it all be like, it just, I'll be drinking it just i'll be drinking memes though i mean but he's his almost his passed out body looks like
like if you outlined a dead body always he's just constantly just like
legs kind of turn just yeah turned if you outlined
someone that got hit by a car
and a semi backed over him
that's how he passes out when he's drunk
that's how he looks
so yeah that was our
Friday night
it was eventful
would you like to take the chair with you
that was like 9pm
so it was
kind of early probably good back over let's get you
centered probably good but it was a good night and then the next day you know we actually got
a lot of sleep that night which doesn't happen in nashville but the next day we got up early and
like we like me and morgan did and we like got up and went to Uncommon James. That was good.
Uncommon James?
Yeah.
It's a jewelry store.
I was going to say, that sounds like two apartments from Madison combined.
True.
But that's the Kristen Cavalieri.
Is that her name?
Kristen?
Jay Cutler's wife, ex-wife.
Ex-wife.
I'm Team Cutler.
Yeah.
I know nothing about it. Right now, I'm team Cutler. Yeah. I know nothing about it.
Right now, I'm team dude.
We went there.
We had a little morning just...
Picking out engagement rings and stuff like that?
Stuff like that, you know.
Yeah, we're pretty serious.
You wish.
We're getting ready.
If he popped a question right now,
here, on my show,
what would you say? Are you serious? Is that what would you say?
Are you serious?
Is that what you would say?
It depends.
It depends.
Is this a joke?
I was going to say,
you got it in your pocket.
I'm going to cut us off right here.
Is that okay?
Morgan,
Kuski,
can I cut it off?
Do it right in front of that middle.
The whole background
and I'll be in the back.
It'll be like a thumbnail.
But no, so that next day, Gane actually did.
He had his flight that night, Saturday night.
So he left early.
So I don't know.
We had a long.
We actually went to a place we've never been to.
It's called The Listening Room.
And it's not on Broadway.
It's a few blocks off Broadway. it's like it's more like a theater
almost it's i've seen a lot of restaurants down there now that are like singing and they perform
there a lot yeah yep and it was like a dinner everything like drinks dinner like you had to
buy tickets to get in there were four artists we saw it was matt Matt Ferrenti, Levi Hummon,
Tyler Rich,
and Sean Stamley.
And they just like, literally,
four seats up on the stage.
It was literally like four best friends.
Matt Ferrenti would sing,
next Levi Hummon, he would say
a little story about a song. He would sing it
and just so on
and so on
and like it was
incredible
that's
literally like
but that's like
honestly a dream of mine
to do like
it was very
a show
and then have
do these
it'd be like
for like
people who don't know
but like
blue collar comedy
like they would
it was
these four comics
and at the end of the show,
they would,
they said their favorite part of telling jokes is when they're at a bar after a show and
they'd be sitting on a bar stool and they just tell the dumbest jokes.
But it'd be like an homage.
I'm like,
it's a dream of mine to like go on stage with like four people who like don't do this at
all.
And she'd be like,
we have stories,
we have jokes and then interact with an audience like that is,
that is so, so that is dude it was probably would be top five days of my life just doing that that'd be so fun it was one of the best things i've done in nashville honestly and it was just
like this was just morgan brian and i and like the state like if we were like at our table here
like the stage was literally like where the car is like just right there so close it was just very personal and like for all them that car is like two miles away yeah no it's literally 20 feet
away 30 feet away like just so close and they hung out after and like took pictures and talked like
we talked with eva humming for a little bit after and it was just it was so cool
no it's perfect i love like that stuff's so fun and then we met we met some of Brian's friends
and we met up with them
after that
and that was
that was our trip to Nashville
and it
it was awesome
it was a great trip
it's never
it's never a bad trip
it's really not
like if
you were to summarize
every time you go to Nashville
it'd be
I hate the car ride
gain
we flew
had a ton of fun
dude flying changes everything
oh flying changes everything but Oh, flying changes everything.
But for the most part.
Yep.
For the most part.
Like, if you had a bullet point Nashville, I was like, excited on the car ride.
Gain.
Food.
Gain, you get a whole bullet point there, man.
Food.
Wish we went to more bars than we actually did.
Fuck the car ride back. Yes. That's it. bars than we actually did. Yeah. Fuck the car ride back.
Yes.
That's it.
Like, that's Nashville.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Let's put gain in the middle.
It's like, alcohol and food is number two.
Gain always happens at three.
And then four is like, we probably should have went to more places than we actually did.
We just stuck at one place all night, which isn't bad.
It means we're having fun.
Yeah, you don't want to leave.
And then it's like, fuck, I have nine hours home.
Yeah, that car ride.
But I agree.
The first, the one time I flew to Nashville from Miami, dude, money.
I know.
Knowing all you guys drove down for spring.
It was when you guys went down for spring break.
Yep.
And just flying up there with Sammy.
I was like, dude, we got here in two hours.
We're never driving again.
We are never driving again.
We took a free shuttle to our hotel.
And I'm never doing it.
Granted, I did it one more time.
But I don't think.
I'm never doing it again.
I did it.
The problem is what's tough is when you plan a trip like that and 99% of the group is driving,
you flying by yourself almost kind of then feels like a waste of money.
It's like, all right, if everyone else isn't getting that time down there and it's just me,
I might as well have the time in the car with them and like hanging on the way up.
Like I would almost rather, I think if my friends were to do if
i were to do it again on that road trip it'd be i will drive down with you my ass is flying back
it's the flying back that i think is like the biggest ones like when you're ready to go home
the drive down there is so easy so fun you know because everyone's excited. That's a drive to anything. No hangover.
But that ride back is...
It's always one person that drives
eight and a half of the nine hours.
The last half hour is someone
who's been throwing up on the sidewalk.
Remember that drive?
Let me drive a bit.
Because you've been driving the whole time.
You're right. I can see our apartment.
You want to drive now?
Yeah, just get gas no my worst hangover ever was coming back from nashville drew schwartz drove most of the way
you drove the rest of the way i think him and i split it 50 50 i think it was the was my worst
hangover ever like literally by far like nothing comes close and i hope nothing ever comes close to
that again also my worst mcdonald's experience of my fucking life you're talking to the right
guy because i am in your boat on this i didn't even get food hands down like out of a movie
you can write bits it was we went in ordered ordered breakfast, and there was, oh, like, all right, it's breakfast, Nashville, like, it's going to be a little busy.
We waited, I think, no joke, over an hour.
Close.
45 minutes to an hour.
It felt like five hours.
It got so bad.
Like, I was the last one to get my food.
It got so bad.
Like, three different groups of people, groups of people went into the kitchen i mean customers
of people went into the kitchen to see what the fuck was up what was up i don't i didn't go in i
couldn't know i couldn't smell mcdonald's or i knew i would have it was the equivalent of like
hey people felt like we ain't doing shit today like fuck it it's mcdonald's it's sunday yeah there were people waiting 20 minutes you know they were just to order to
just i there was either one person working like and like on staff or just one person working
with 20 people just going like go fuck yourself yeah dude that was i didn't even go in the
building and then we got our food took a few steps
behind
my fries weren't cooked
or like my hash browns
I'm like
dude this is soggy
like it is
I mean it's McDonald's
but like
I mean come on
your hash browns
like that's always been
like a crispy
nice hash brown
like the one thing
like I will eat
McDonald's breakfast
maybe once or twice
a year
yeah they took that much time
and couldn't even get it right
for you
how about that what's up with't even get it right for you.
How about that?
What's up with that?
It took it, like, the amount of time it took,
it was like they were making it from scratch for the 50 people that were in there.
Yeah.
Not like it was frozen.
You just had to, like, turn it off. Yeah, it was tough.
I mean, that was a time, that was a hangover where I was disgusted by food.
I couldn't even smell it.
And I did smell it just sitting in the parking lot.
I was disgusted by food.
I couldn't even smell it.
And I did smell it just sitting in the parking lot.
And I literally was taking laps around the McDonald's just walking it off.
And it literally took so long, and all I wanted to do was go.
Just go, yeah.
Hit on the road.
Hit the road, not hit on the road. You ended up throwing up out the window, didn't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was...
Yeah.
A lot.
You threw up a lot out the window.
A lot.
It was hysterical. Seriously a lot. It was one a lot out the window. A lot. It was hysterical.
Seriously a lot.
It was one of my favorite moments of him, actually.
Gane was holding.
Seeing him vulnerable and in a weak state is like,
me seeing him like that is like him seeing me in love.
Yeah, probably.
It really is, which is a sick comparison coming from me.
We were on the highway, and I was letting it go out the window.
And at that point, I was ready to just jump out.
Gane was holding me back.
We were holding, yeah.
He was holding my shirt to make sure that I wouldn't fall.
I remember looking up and just seeing you and Drew up there just staring back.
And you're like, you okay, man?
Oh, it was awesome.
No, I was not okay.
It was.
But I've never seen him like that because his claim to fame is like, I've never blacked
out.
And like, I don't, I, cause I really don't get hung over either.
I've blacked out now.
Yeah, I know you have now, but before the longest time in college, like I don't black
out.
I took that as, I took that as like a challenge.
I'm like, I'm going to black you out.
I never should have told you.
I love that.
I've never seen him hung over.
You haven't? No. Me? Yeah. Not like that. I've never seen him hungover. You haven't?
No.
Me?
Yeah, not like bad.
Not bad.
My worst ones, if I know I feel bad, I come home and that's it.
I have a top three.
I know my top three.
But otherwise, I don't.
And I asked my dad who, I was like, Dad, apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Do you get hungover when you drink?
Your dad drinks decent money.
I was like, yeah, no. There you go. Because most people say, all right, once you get into your when you drink yeah drinks decent money yeah no i go
because most people say like all right once you get into your late 20s mid 30s like hangovers are
gonna kick in and i was like oh i'm not ready for like every time i have a drink yeah i'm gonna get
hung over because i have friends that have two beers and like i don't feel great in the morning
are you fucking kidding me um that's my dad's like yeah i really don't get hung over i'm like
thank the fucking lord i mean it is a recipe for, like, having a problem, but.
I got to pee.
Go pee.
I got to do it.
We can also end this here soon if you want.
We are.
Would you like to go upstairs?
You've already been in the shot.
It's okay.
We can.
Well, go pee.
I was going to go upstairs, too.
We'll do some parting thoughts.
And then you go outside because I need you back.
Should I go this way or that way?
Go out until left. There's some woods.
Yeah, go upstairs. I'm not going to make you squat
outside. Again, what am I, a savage?
I don't want to go inside.
Why don't you want to go inside? I'm nervous.
My mom's name is Christine.
She's a wonderful lady. Stephen
is upstairs. Andrew is
the room next to the bathroom.
Andrew's playing video games. He's not
going to care. The only
issue you might run into is someone's in the bathroom,
which I doubt it, because Andrew's been home for
a while, so he's done showering.
You're good. Go to the bathroom.
Tinkle tinkle.
Go to the bathroom.
Why not?
No.
I'll do Final Fantasy. But this isn not? No. I'll just find a bathroom.
But like, this isn't your episode.
You've had two episodes now.
Well, my second one's not out.
Yeah, your second one isn't out.
It's...
I didn't go.
I can't go in the woods.
There's houses all around.
I also went right past two garages down.
There's a mannequin.
I thought someone was... Oh my God. This's a mannequin. I thought someone was-
Oh, my God.
This is my final thought.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Neighbor next door, get rid of the mannequin in your garage.
Every time.
Oh, my God.
Did we ruin that for them?
No.
Nope.
So our neighbor has this, two garages down down just has this mannequin in and i've told her
it's a little creepy i think someone's standing there every time i like drive by or like i pull
my car out i'm like oh someone's just like they're there and they're looking at me and like
they think it's funny just i i can't put words together they find it amusing that it freaks people out
that someone is just standing there half clothed looking out and they haven't moved it since like
and they hang out next to it they they often just sit outside barbecue them them, dog, her kids, and a mannequin.
I gotta be quiet.
I think they might be outside.
They're a nice people though.
But like might be weird people.
We live next to some weird people.
The people to my right
during the like thick of this pandemic i've walked outside
and this lady's sitting in like a 1970s like kind of lawn chair i don't know 70s i just put like
old time like you know the ones that are like it's like crisscross like like a crow i don't know the
words like you know people layer bacon in and out in cooking videos make like a bacon blanket
it's like one of those chairs was like colorful and striped it frays a bit i've been talking
myself the whole time but i gotta finish i gotta finish this off hold on so this lady i'll just i'll tell you yeah do you know those kind of chairs i'm talking about where it's
like like a really old chair it's like a foldable chair it's got like there isn't like a seat it's
just kind of like straps and they intertwine on the front and the back it's like uh no bad never
mind whatever so in the thick i was saying we kind of have weird neighbors because the lady has the mannequin over there.
Dude, that's so weird.
The lady over here...
Has those chairs?
She has this chair.
The chair is not an important part.
I don't know why I'm obsessing over it.
But she...
In the thick of COVID, when it's like, you need your mask on, six feet away.
About a year ago.
Like, get away from people kind of thing.
Yep.
I come outside middle of summer and she's sitting out there.
Get the fuck out of here with your hair cups.
And she's sitting out here and I go to get the mail.
And sitting on her chair, her like old lady son hat, full on she bought by herself no one else is outside
no one in this entire complex not one person by herself gloves on fully gripping the arms of this
chair mask blacked out like glaucoma sunglasses sun hat boots pants and a sweatshirt just quote-unquote sunbathing i think
she was hot boxing her fucking body she goes lord just fucking take me like she was trying to cook
herself to fuck man you are by yourself yeah no like what do you think? Like, the wind blows and you get COVID?
Yeah.
Mask?
I mean, for all I know, she had, like, it was bad.
Yeah.
Do you have a final thought?
Did you have fun today?
I had fun.
Yeah.
Would you do it again?
Would you come back on with Josh?
I think Josh has to come on by himself, and then we'll get you both on.
Okay.
Yeah. No, I would love to come back.
It's fun.
Isn't this fun?
Yeah.
This is, like, for me, I'm almost treating it for,
it's like a pregame for the weekend kind of thing.
True.
It's a great way to start your weekend.
It is a great way to start the weekend.
I would like to do more during the week,
and I will do more once the lacrosse.
It would be fun if we got even a group of four or five.
Oh, we're going to do that?
Oh, we'll just give you the formal invite now.
So what we're going to do is, and I said it last episode, so you know Corey.
I heard that, yeah.
I know.
We're doing the cookout.
When?
When it gets nice and warm.
Well, one, I need to text Corey to figure out his, like, for sure date because I have things planned in the next two weeks.
I can't do anything.
Okay.
But I think within the next month, when it's like for sure warm out,
we're going to do a full-blown cookout.
Bring whichever girlfriend you want.
Thanks.
Yeah, no, that would be so fun.
I would love to see Corey and the baby.
I'll just set it up.
I'll have all four mics.
I don't think the kid's going to show up.
Yeah.
Corey, if you're listening.
Corey, bring the baby.
Bring the baby.
Bring the baby.
Star of the show.
Great clickbait, you know.
Great.
You know how fun that would be if, like, it's just you and I here,
and someone's just holding the child in the middle the whole time?
Or let's just give them a booster seat,
and I'll put a microphone and a stand in front of them.
We'll turn it off.
Like eventually
we can turn it on
and we can hear
like what the 12 year olds
were saying out there.
We can show it to him
when he turns like 18
and really like.
Hey man,
you were,
you were on a podcast
at the age of five months.
Yes.
But yeah.
And maybe,
maybe bring the outfit
I bought him
and have him wear it because I haven't seen it yet.
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
I haven't seen Callum wear this tattoo outfit yet.
Okay?
Put it on the kid.
Send me a picture.
Doesn't need to go on Facebook.
Just send me the fucking picture.
But no, I seriously had so much fun.
I would come back gladly.
Give me a critique right now.
Say something mean.
You love the critiques.
You always ask for these.
Yeah.
He can't do it, can he?
I can give you.
Want me to give you one?
Yeah. He can do it.
He can give you some critiques.
I'll say today.
Yeah.
When you started.
My critique Yeah
I'm trying to think of when I got bored
But I didn't really get that bored
It was fun
I said a critique
Not an insult
Did you get bored today? I said No I said I'm trying to think of when I got bored But I insult Did you get bored today?
I said
No I said
I'm trying to think of when I got bored
But I didn't really get bored today
Okay so that's more of a compliment
Yeah that was
I know you have one
Is he afraid to tell me something?
I'll give you a critique
Okay
It's freaking cold in here
It's not that cold
Oh my god
It's cold in here
That was really childish of me
I'm sorry
Okay maybe I'll get like A heater It's not that cold. It's cold in here. That was really childish of me. I'm sorry.
Okay, maybe I'll get like... A heater.
No, because I'm going to hear it.
So I'm going to get you...
This is like the worst...
Like the very end of this show is terrible.
Like, how do you need to improve your shower?
I'll buy you a sweatshirt.
How about that?
Get her a fucking sweatshirt.
She has so many.
I'll get her one.
I'll do it.
You knew you were coming here.
You did this in November
But I thought the garage would be closed
It wasn't closed when you did it in November
It might be a difference of like three inches
It makes a difference
Whatever
I bet three inches makes it
My critique is you need to have like an audience
Not even that But just like Like having Morgan here, I think it's good for a third party.
You can kind of add a different dimension.
We agree.
I like having – when I say Morgan, look it up.
I genuinely would like to have a – we talked about this with Jack.
Have a TV somewhere and like, hey, we talked about something.
Because it kind of removes the L the element.
I almost said elephant,
um,
element of like talking about like current facts or something like that or
like events.
Cause I know nothing about it.
It was like,
Oh,
look it up.
We can talk about it.
It would be nice to have it.
It would be great.
And I just think like,
uh,
the energy with like,
just between when it's just like one-on-one versus like having a third person even just watching or something just changes things.
I promise you we would have done just fine without her.
It's really easy.
This is really easy.
But yeah, no, I definitely – eventually we'll figure it out.
Yeah.
We'll figure it out.
But this was fun.
Here, I'll give you a little cheers.
Thank you.
Thanks, buddy.
Let's go find something to do today.
I almost spilled that all over my lap.
I wish you would have.
We will end it.
Oh, good Lord.
That was not a good sip.
We'll end it now.
Do you need to pee?
Have a good weekend, y'all.