Fat Chance Podcast - Moon Landings, Olympic Memes & World Records Ep.132

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Fresh off the Olympics, are the boys better dancers than Australia? Does everyone deserve a signature shoe? Michael has officially fallen down the rabbit hole! SPONSORED BY: Booze Better Supplements: Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo We have fallen in love with COMFRT Hoodies and it's time for you to do the same! Use our code for 15% off the best anxiety sweatshirt on the market! https://www.comfrt.com/MICHAEL52440 PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all others Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)

You're becoming terrible! You're watching Infowars, you're learning about giants and Egyptian UFOs. I'm having a great time. I've never been... I've never... I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been... I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy.

I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy.

I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy.

I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. I'm having a great time. I've never been happy. moon landing I think I do I believe we landed just not when we say we did I believe we landed when we say we did I believe there's no way cameras were up there you mentioned they just sent a camera crew up with them no they didn't I like all you like oh they sent a rocket and men to space camera. No camera Because Aldrin did not know how to work a camera

We barely know how to work a camera and we do it every week. That's very true cameras don't work in space There's nowhere buzz Aldrin was trying to focus on the little flicky things In case there are any aliens coming after him tailing him and he was not worried about a camera do you think do you think it was pre-recorded no because they would have blown it up and then footage would have gotten up live maybe it was pre-recorded they would they had to have some good faith though they had to really have some faith otherwise they'd have to burn that tape They did burn that tape This tastes like fall

Like it's so close to college football. It's so close this tastes like this is I went to Lambo I'm freezing my nuts off you get inside of the bar and the bar turns like what, what do you want? Like, just give me something. I need to warm up from the inside. And that's this beer. They hand it to you. You take the mittens off of you and then they're turned into fingerless gloves and then you drink your beer. Door County Cherry Wheat, for those of you freezing from the nuts and from the inside. Not sponsored. Yet. Yet. Or ever. Yeah. It's right across from Lambeau. Look at it. It says right on the back. Brewed and bottled. Green Bay Brewing Company. Lombardy Ave. In parentheses right across from Lambeau. Well it's. I don't know what Lambeau is. What is Lambeau's address because it's a thousand one Lambeau Lomb? Because there's 1,001 Lambeau-Lombardy Ave.

I like they have just like that little corner or that little like that extra finger Wisconsin has. Oh, yeah, that thumb. The thumb of the mitten. Yeah. Lambeau Field. Let's see where it is. Lambeau Field.

1265 Lambeau-Lombardy Ave. OK. Why would you make yourself 1265? I don't think they made it. What would you want it to be number one Lombardi? That's true Yeah, I mean even like the White House. It's like 1600 Pennsylvania

Yeah, it's weird it's like not even why don't you be like White House Street, you know, well the White House Wouldn't when did we become a country again? That should be the year should be. 1776? Yeah. It is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Good job. It should be 1776 Pennsylvania Avenue.

They really dropped a ball on that one. Or 1700 America Street. You know? Pennsylvania Avenue in fucking Maryland, Washington DC. District of Columbia. We're all Colombians. What else do you think we faked? Oh, orgasms.

I was just gonna say that. I don't think we're faking that. I fake them all the time. Hold on, let me end that work call real quick. I have faked an orgasm once. You have? Yeah, Jen was like did you just fake that? And I go no she goes there's a clear sign if you faked it or not and you

fucking faked it. I was just like so drunk. I thought it was maybe when your balls popped. No that was that was a for sure like all right we're gonna like sit down and like not talk for 15 minutes because I'm freaking out But you know I definitely don't think what else would be a fate the moon lane is a big one I think two pox alive JFK is alive So you've gone full dad mode you've gone. I don't Yeah, I don't believe those although. I have been obsessed. I'm trying to get Rachel to watch these It's a YouTube channel called the Y files dude. You gotta watch it. I think you would like it But if I just completely change personality yeah, it's but it's it's not like

Just doing it's doing mad like Conspiracy theories lead to math. We all know that. They do. Most people that are on math think everything's a conspiracy. I don't know which comes first, the chicken or the egg, but I think math comes most likely before. But if you do it after, you can do it. Oh, it comes before both of those for sure. And after. Um... No, the best part about this channel is like he takes like uh...

Just people like submit stories like, oh this is like a famous UFO story, blah, blah, blah. And he's a very good storyteller. He also has this thing called hecklefish. It's an animated fish that says things that he can't say, like humans can't say, just for the algorithm purposes. It's great. And then at the end, he basically does his best to debunk all of it.

So he'll go down the rabbit hole and is like, all right, before you guys go too deep, here's where we can call bullshit on a lot of things. But it's kind of fun to hear all the crazy stories or the weird encounters people are having or the theories of time travel or giants or secret societies or UFO crashes, stuff like that. Or Egypt, so if anything, if there's ever anything on Egypt

and you can tell the story well. I'm in I'm so in I think I'm from there From Egypt no, do you think do you believe in reincarnation? Those are two different questions I think I sometimes I believe in it sometimes. I don't okay if you Do you think you were always a human or do you think you could have been like an animal? Do you have been like a book? No, you have to have a soul for reincarnation. You can't be a book. So we believe in souls

I mean, I feel like books I mean that that weird wolf has sex with a young teen. That wolf was also a teen. Oh, oh. That was an old man. Oh, the vampire was the old one. That's where it has gone. It's a really bad 10 second movie right there.

Werewolf has sex with a teen. This is Little Red Riding Hood. Teen wolf. But I love that stuff where it's like, This little red riding hood. Teen Wolf. But I love that stuff where it's like he takes like a crazy theory puts a good spin on it, clearly does a lot of research tells it very well and then at the end you're like you wanna believe all of it and he's like alright

buckle up this is uh... this guy was clinically insane but But it's very good. I recommend. Wouldn't you go insane though if you discovered giants? If I discovered giants and on meth, you know how hard it is to crack the case and tell everyone that you're right. Exactly. There are some wild ones in there. I'm like, okay. America was the land of the giants at one point and stuff like that. New York football giants. uh... america was the land of the giants at one point stuff like that or giants yet that's why we know that i mean the sasquatch once got to be hard because you go in the wilderness you probably take mushrooms

then you see a sasquatch or like no one's gonna believe this yeah you know well that's the other problem is like mushroom part but it's but the fact that bigfoot was there i do believe fact is crazier than fiction but unless you have even if you have video evidence, the way we can edit things now, no one believes shit. You have to see what, it has to be you

and at least 1,000 other people in that area to see it for it to maybe have some semblance of credibility. Even if 100 other people saw it, they're like, we ain't buying it. We think you guys all colluded for a fun little story. And it's not true. That's a lot of work. Yeah, but there's so much controversy over everything.

That's the problem is like, you're not gonna be able to believe anything ever, anymore. No, I mean, yeah. It's hard to do it now. That's what Infowars is on. People believe we're all in the same room for this. It's true, we're not. We're not.

We're not even friends. Yeah. Definitely not in the same room for this. It's true, we're not. We're not. We're not even friends. Yeah. Definitely not in the same room. Jack's a girl. Did you guys, I know this is a little bit off topic, but did you guys see that break dancer in the Olympics? So funny. But did you hear the controversy about that?

No. What I've gathered in my short time of watching this is that her husband is on the board for one of the chairman of the breakdancing thing of saying who gets to go to the Olympics. How do you get on that very specific board? I don't know, but this is the first year about breakdance. We had breakdance.

In the last. But they needed to get to this board, you need to have funding behind you. And you had to request funding through this thing. And the person who said yes or no if you got the funding was the lady who was dancing. Though she was the one that got to say yes or no? She got to say if you got the funding

to be in front of these chairman So there's so many people like in I think she's from Australia. Yeah, they're pissed cuz they're good breakdancers Yeah, cuz they're like this girl made a mockery of what we actually but also she's a national treasure now like everyone loves her I Love her. It's incredible laughing at her not with her. No, they're like this chicks fucking on glue loves her No, they're like this chicks fucking on glue like that's what it looks like those So funny it was like she just watched like five America's Got Talent's Oh, yeah, and was like I think I could do that

I love the videos where they like slowly transform like the one where she like laid on the ground and did this and that and it slowly turned into a cat stretching it's like this is all this is well if everyone is where she starts well I just saw a baby she like just got off the plane she had like some warm welcome in Australia and she's like yeah I gave the people what I wanted she started breakdancing like in the airport I think they're there to kill you. I think she was like she was has a degree in like some sort of like she teaches dance or something She shouldn't Not well For those who can't teach, you know

But yeah, but there's no petition to take like uh, the Her being on the team off or whatever. I mean that video will last forever. They can do whatever they want There's no petition to take like That video will last forever they can do whatever they want she Single-handedly by herself to knock it a single point Also, whose mom is that whose mom is that because you know you're sitting there like you know my mom's in the Olympics like for what? Breakdancing like miss Johnson really? Like we're not watching this like no we're gonna watch your mom break dance, and then she had a stroke During the Olympics what's worse having your mom be fucking Lana Rhodes

Or Reagan Reagan I think is way worse no no I'm gonna be real. It's not worse Because you know what your mom is now the cool mom forever To everyone but you though This is also If I saw my mom break dancing, I'd be like like that like you're fucking dipshit if I saw her doing that This is different Jack different mom not real life I'd be like you had to do we had to do to get by I get it I get it Reagan Already already discredit just cuz you're like different mom. It was someone else just a

gun Made no money She legitimately only spent money. money yeah she made no money she went to France on Australia's dime and then she danced shittily flew home on Australia's dime and now she's not breakdancing ever maybe the breakdancing community didn't have a lot of money in Australia and they're like you know what we're gonna send some and they're not that good. They're good, but not that good like let's send Reagan or whatever her name is Reagan Reagan Rachel Rachel Reagan Reagan like what you get at zombies

I like that thing so they're like we're gonna make a mockery We're gonna make a meme and now everyone's like we need to send help to Australia So now part of our defense fund is gonna go to Australian breakdancing, so we't look weak. No, I think the only thing we don't care if the break dancing sucks in Australia. I don't think Australia is an enemy. I started a mad shit about the swim team and we fucked their shit. I think the big thing is they only saw her name on paper. It's all right. That's a person has to be good at break dancing. You got a good point. Ray gun. Yeah. No, that was funnier though. Like they're set up for it though. It was like in the round. Yeah.

And so like there's just like there's just this legitimately arena like a boxing ring and there's people sitting like at like floor level watching from it. It was like just surrounded and they had dance battles and she was like he yawning at people like they were dancing she was like Practicing your routine and she went and she did that shit after like talking shit a little bit. It's so funny Like no sense of what they actually are capable of I did go on stage this weekend and talk about how I would be so good at pole bolting like I would never get this call for my penis.

You make imagine if we did select people just off their names though for the Olympics like I think half our basketball team would Stephen Curry would not make our basketball team if we're going strictly off the names. Yeah. cuz you can't see Edwards not on the team LeBron James always gonna be on the team No So who would be? But that's not her real name her real name is Rachel machine gun, but no, but so if you go by nicknames Ray gun then I then I think they would King James King James the brow

Ray gun then I think they would James King James the brow We're not bringing the Braille Reaper the Braille sounds like someone you need a register. I think we're bringing We're not bringing in the brow the brow has to register when he moves talk about the brow It's an for those who don't know it's Anthony Davis, and he has a unibrow. That's the reason his nickname is the problem It's so funny. But it's been that since college, since high school. Shave the brow. Yeah, he could easily fix that. You know how much money he made from that ruffle sponsorship because they basically said my unibrow's a ruffle?

He got there, you know, he got all the way there. He could have taken care of it well before. He's also AD, doesn't call him AD, but the brow is pretty cool. The brow is pretty cool. Yeah, the brows pretty cool Okay, here's one that yokich sucks because the Joker is stupid and it's a stupid name Why they call the Joker's but he's also not he's not in the USA team. Yeah Greek freak yeah, that makes sense. That's a good one. What about have you seen the no Lyle stuff? Where he's complaining about there's no shoe for him.

He's like, why are we giving Anthony Edwards his own shoe line, but we're not giving me one? Why can't we see it for me? You're not bringing in any money for us. I had no idea who you were until yesterday when you took bronze. I mean, that's true in some ways. But we do give shoes to a lot of like Michael Johnson, who was the 400 so

back in like the 1996 Olympics Reebok was the official sponsor for the USA team Reebok but they could wear whatever shoes they want so Nike went all in on making shoes as crazy as possible for the athletes that was sponsored so they made Michael Johnson who was at the time rated number one in the 100-ash They made him gold Nike's Gold like bright like you literally watch him running with gold shoes So then the whole thing afterwards is he literally has his cleats, the gold cleats hanging around his neck. That's an iconic image. But we did make shoes for them when that was.

And then- But they probably didn't sell them. So 1996. They did, they did. So then after that you could buy gold Nike things. So like, it's all about that. So he probably will get a shoe deal from what he- Yeah, yeah, because he's complained enough.

Well, he's just bringing attention to it because he yes You know as you should like I get that but also it's like to Not put down like Anthony Edwards Anthony Edwards has definitely generated more revenue for Nike Than no miles has like I haven't heard of him. I had no idea who he was until also a Whatever you get Adidas Adidas so like he's bringing in more money, which is why he's getting a shoe He has a more long longevity longevity. Yeah, we're not gonna hear about Noah Lyles for another four years Unless he complains for four years that he doesn't have a fucking shoe. We're gonna see Anthony Edwards in Seven months not even we're gonna see him in

Two months. Well, I thought he said that before the thing. Well, I don't know if it was before or after. Either way, I saw the quote and it's like, yeah, I could see like, all right, we have an Olympic sprinter getting gold, bronze, whatever. Yeah, we could give him a shoe, but even when you said like we made the shoes for,

what's his name? Michael Johnson. Michael Johnson. Yeah, it wasn't his, We made a shoe for him. But then there wasn't a Michael Johnson line. No, it was just gold shoes. We just had sprinter shoes. No, well, I mean, like, worn by Michael Johnson. You know, like, he would definitely probably have some sort of.

But it wasn't his line. I mean, they do that a lot with a lot of these shoes. Like, worn by this guy. I mean, but in basketball, it is understood to have a signature line is kind of the thing. And basketball shoes, basketball shoes are there. I mean, not every player has like a signature shoe. It's like the best of the best or like the ones that are the most

marketable. Yeah. And then, and then they, I mean, there's some that you'd be like, that guy has a signature shoe, Delvendova, Matthew Delvendova. Yeah, but that's a fucking Australian shoe. He has one under peak, which is insane. You're like, why? But then basketball shoes aren't just for basketball.

You're not getting track shoes and like, I'm going to wear these on Monday going to work. So the market's a lot more niche for them. So I don't know. I'm just, it rubbed me the wrong way a little bit with the amount of complaining I saw from the media maybe not been him so I apologize but sorry Noah sorry no you're not gonna watch this but I thought I thought what you're gonna bring up is that he had COVID he did have COVID. He came out with like this big like

entrance which is so funny having an entrance like that for running and then he got bronze. Because of COVID. Yeah that's's a good excuse. Yeah. But I mean, if you can't, if you're racing with COVID, are you allowed to race? Does COVID affect your legs? Affects your breathing? You're wrong. Yeah, but you can hold your breath for nine seconds. Go. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that how you run? Yeah. Is that how you run? Yeah, exactly. You don't like you run and Michael Yes, stop it. No, you're being so I think you're being you're being darn silly He's a denier COVID denier Terrible you're watching it for wars. You're learning about Giants and Egyptian UFOs. I'm having a great time

watching Infowars, you're learning about giants and Egyptian UFOs. I'm having a great time. I've never been happier. Did I tell you the COVID golf story? I told you guys that one, right? The guy I got paired with. He COVID? He, no, like golf, you just like, by the way, golf hunting sold out. Thanks guys. They, we go to Morningstar and we get paired with a stranger and he barely talks to us he goes to the first tee and He just he goes up and he after like he's like practicing. He just goes, you know, my wife she was a nurse She took the COVID shot She can't hear anymore and it can't feel her arms or her feet. I rolled

her into bed last night and then just went to his cart. I was like, what the fuck? That's wild. I looked at my dad and even my dad was like, yeah, that one was a little fucked up. That was much. And then he just complained about his wife the entire round. I don't think it's from the Copa I think he's doing something to his foot Because then he didn't play well, he goes I'm fucking tired I'm fucking we had a party last night and no my wife can't fucking do anything So I didn't clean up the whole house by myself and we're like, okay

And he said that whole three whole seven break dancer for the Could be or she could be one of those car things where you're just like waving in the wind. Dude that's wild. It's funny because a lot of people go golfing and they complain about their wives. But it's funny that he's complaining like that. Rolled her into bed last night. She got brought up.

Shakes it. It's a breakfast ball. He wanted to say it too. before we went up he's like so what are the wives or girlfriends doing? And we're just like my dad's divorced. He goes nothing. And I'm like mine's in bed, work night shift, she's a nurse. And then he just went right to the he goes yeah fucking COVID.

He was like I hope one. That's so funny. He was like, I hope one of them's a nurse. I've been dying to get this off my chest. Also, it's like a four year thing. He's just been, since it started. He's like, I golf four times a week. I go, maybe your wife just hates you. Maybe she's just pretending.

She can't hear, she's just pretending not to hear. It's the booster Obviously from The Olympics ending there's a lot of records being broke out there. So we're gonna bring back We're gonna bring back the records one. All right where I'm gonna recording I one. All right. Where I'm going to recording. I'm just kidding. I knew it's recording because I checked off. So I'm going to tell you something. You're going to tell me the percentage or how many or how long or all this stuff. We're guessing the world record. The world record.

Okay. Yeah. Do we need a buzz in? Yeah. Buzz in please. Let me get my handy dandy pen out first. Alright. David Rush at a Ted Talk fit how many candles in his mouth? Buzz. Jack. Seventeen. Incorrect. Kostki, I'm going to give you Price's right rules. Okay. Can I ask a question about the candles?

Yes. Are they birthday candles or are they candles that like, you know. I was thinking. I was thinking like the church candles. That's what I was thinking too. Yeah. I'm gonna go, they're probably skinnier than that.

It's 17, so I could go Price is Right, or I could say 18, but I'm gonna make this fun, and I'm gonna say 32. 100 lit candles. That is a point for Michael Koski. But if that's just birthday candles you just. This is one of those giants I was talking about. If it's birthday candles you can put a hundred in your mouth and you just have someone with a big blowtorch and go shh and then it's done. Would you trust someone with a

hundred could be like hey I got it now don't worry. I also love that it was a TED Talk. Yeah. It wasn't much of a talk. OK, I can do it. A family in Mexico has how much of their bodies covered in hair, in percentage-wise? Oh, Buzz. Jack. 97%.

97? Buzz, I'm'm gonna say 98. Well because he is spot on with 98 percent. So to notice at 71 he would have said 72. So let's stop acting like he's a fucking genius. Always this is always a fun one in the in the Guinness Book of Records. The longest fingernails of all time are how long I've seen this picture. Yeah. They're like down. They're curling over but it's flattened out obviously when they do the magic. Imagine how she types on her phone. I think it's a he now. I think it's a he. Yeah. It's a he. No. Okay. Yeah. He looks really normal. I'm

sorry for assuming. But I was he. Wait aren't they in like a mitt? Yeah. Yeah, he like holds, like he keeps them in like a sack. Because there's only one hand, right? Yeah, that's only one hand. That's only one hand. Wow, we're good. I'm going to, OK. Michael, I'll let you answer first. Longer than that.

Yeah, for sure longer than that. How tall is he? I'm not answering questions right now. OK. Because that would determine it, even my height. I'm gonna say they are four feet two inches Six and a half feet Six feet Wow six feet long so I'll give it a jack on that one well That's not prices right rules, but I know I will change it so he feels included

We'll change it so he feels included. Oh look I could have gone four point three feet. All right. I didn't have much leeway between 97 and 100. So yeah you could have gone below. Going. How much is it covered. No one gives a shit about a 70 percent hairy man. That's half the population. OK. That's all the Italians. Bibi a domestic shorthaired cat can balance how many dice on its paw? Buzz jack 17 17 dice okay 26 It is 10 dice Really doing it well, I thought maybe the paws sound like this

Don't move. Yeah, no, it's ten dice from baby Baby, baby, we could beat that. All right another what we don't have any you I got your cat This is always a fun one in the ginsburg old record What is the furthest distance to squirt milk from your eye socket? Oh my god, probably. Wait, where does it go in? Furthest distance?

I think it goes up here. I think you drink it. Buzz, 27 feet. 27 feet? I'm going to go 8 feet. Michael is a lot closer. It's 9 feet 2 inches. 27 feet is a bit. 27 feet is far. That's a lot closer. It's nine feet two inches I was like trying to picture the videos. I've seen people do it in my head I feel like if you get enough arc on it like if you tilt your head back

That's crazy the guy with the fingernails could basically measure it for him. Yeah, I got it They go you're one quarter of my fingernails All right How many people crammed onto one forty two foot long surfboard to break the most people on a surfboard record. Can I say one thing about records like that bullshit. That's they just made a giant surfboard and put people on it. Yeah. Yes. If it was a normal standard surfboard and they had this many people on it I'm sure it would be sweet

But if you just keep making bigger things and put more people on it, but I think that's a wave It's a fucking boat at that point. It's a 42 feet. It's a yacht without a motor It's a kayak also like how sturdy is that because pretty fucking sturdy Yeah, cuz like there's gonna be like 30 people on this surfboard. More. More than that. 42 foot. Yeah, it's probably 60, 69. They had a grill on there. They had a grill. They were doing parties.

They had bag toss. Yeah. All right. Helipad, so they could drop more people on. I'm going to go 69 people, Bob. 69 people. I'm going to go 102. 66 people.

Wow. 66 people. Honestly, disappointing for a 42 foot surfboard huge thing yeah It's huge how wide but also I think if you fall off on the wave you don't get calm okay, then just go again All right the world's largest pizza is How big this one's big mr.. Bees did it mr.. Bees did it like a table didn't it it was um? Covered like a, like a hundred inches? I think it was a football field length.

No it wasn't. I bet it was. You think it's a hundred yards? You think it's three hundred feet? They brought cranes to put the cheese on, Michael. I don't remember the distance, but they brought cranes to put the cheese on. Is this a Mr. Beast record? No, it's not. It's actually made in Italy. Clearly you didn't watch Mr. Beast's video. Is this a mr. Beast record no it's not it's actually made in Italy

Clearly you didn't watch mr. Beast metrics mr. Beast did break this record It's in feet feet square technically is what I put feet square are we going diameter are we going? Is the area of the pizza yeah, so length and width What is this a circular I've seen the Cuskies brain like process what Jack is trying to be like I'm not gonna do that when I order from Domino's I want a small medium or large which is usually like 10 12 or 14 but diameter is not feet it's the distance of from one one side of the pizza to the other. So squared, is it one half? Pi R squared?

I think that's what. Pi R squared is the surface area of the pizza. Yep, one half. Cool, so what are you asking for? No, just Pi R squared, because I think one half is the pizza. So what are you asking for? The largest area of the pizza?

So within the limits of the crust yeah everything okay? It's gotta be fucking huge yeah, let's go you're gonna. Let's go first. I don't know Football field you think a football field it was mr. beast did it not this Italian fucker this guy makes probably not that big of a pizza in a bigger oven mr. beast cooked it all outside it was cool I'm gonna give you um whatever a base the infield of a baseball diamond would be oh cool now one what is that?

62 62 feet squared now 306 Yeah, go 275 Michael is actually closer than 13,000 feet. I was right. That's definitely an infield. Yeah, it's a big one. Do you have a picture of that one? I do not. I do not. I know. Um, you looking it up right now? Yeah, we actually have this big TV here. We could pull it up right now? Yeah. We actually have this big TV here we can pull it up on. I know.

Good. All right. Keep it going. Well. It looks it up. I do need another beer. It's fucking big. I'll get you another beer.

It's huge. Do you guys know that I hate pickles? Do you want to close the door quick? You hate pickles. Yeah. I've been tortured with pickles growing up. They make me throw up. I'm actually starting to eat my pickles. I'm starting to eat my pickles. I'm starting to eat my pickles. I'm starting to eat my pickles? Do you want to close the door quick? You hate pickles? Yeah, I've been tortured with pickles growing up.

They make me throw up. I'm actually starting to eat my Cuban sandwiches and I'm starting to get myself back into pickles. I love pickles. But I used to get bullied. My aunts used to rub pickles on my face when I was a baby and I would make this nasty face. Growing up I hated pickles. My parents thought it was funny. That's a weird thing for your aunt to do. They probably just wanted to see me go we guys gypsies or no we were Irish Catholic In the name of Claussen Grillo's Definitely watching this boy gypsies aren't a religion

It's a way of life. All right, here we go. We'll keep going. A weird man endeared being covered with how many bees? Oh, that's. Oh. Also, who's counting these bees? Yeah.

How tall is the man? I would guess like six foot. That's not average. I'm average. So let's go 5'9". On a good day. A lot of bees. I'm going to say 1,200 bees.

1,200 bees? Is that little? I think that's plenty. I have no idea. I'm going to go higher. Yeah. 2,000 bees. OK.

637,000 bees. What? You can't know at one point if like You count those bees that guy had been there for years Also if you're covered in one layer of bees and then bees go on top of the bees are we counting those bees? But these are really covered by him basically the same thing as the giant fucking surfboard. Yeah, it's just a surfboard riding on fucking surfboard yeah it's just a surfboard right on that surfboard because when you see like the videos of people doing the Guinness

World Records they like bring someone there to verify yeah that guy had to have counted the bees right yeah who's kind of the bees it's wow how do you come bees or do you just take a picture and someone just like one two three I bet they just released 700,000 bees on this guy oh they were like we'll cut a little 40,000 look like they blew away what is the heaviest weight lifted by a tongue bio by a tongue you see those people that lift weights with their tongue oh if you they're done eating pussy, they probably correct Someone does have to sit back I'm gonna say

No 62 pounds 62 pounds Jack 50 No. 62 pounds. 62 pounds. Jack? 50. 27 pounds is the heaviest. We were aggressive with that one. Also, weirdly, same as a three-year-old child. Average weight for a three-year-old child. Tongue and kids. I hope that-

You guys just run around tongue and kids. Was that fact included or did you go find that on your own oh oh man oh uh in 2012 a parrot opened how many beers in one minute i would say buzz 36 beers 36 beers and that's probably high if I'm gonna guess no, I bet you're like spot-on I'm gonna go 34 This is it now a new thing where we tie is it 35 35 Each of you a point I guess good for us. We know our way around some parrots Do you see me trying to mimic what a parrot would do to do other yeah it was like I bet they grab the top with their three finger toes you think then they then

they pop it open with their mouth I'd like to know were they lined up or did they like the parrot open it like here's another and I think I think you probably lined it up and just moved the parent I saw a video of a Corgi shooting rubber bands at cans do you see that no it literally had rubber bands on the desk there's cans and the Corgi would grab the rubber with his mouth put the rubber band around its middle finger claw and then just rifle rubber bands at these cans and there was four cans of rubber bands hundred percent. Shooing a hundred percent from the line. It was crazy. That's wild. New

airbud. Yeah. Uh, Mama Cusky would be good at this. Uh, what is the longest distance for catching a grape in your mouth? Just be happy you didn't say the candle one. Yeah. That's true. I'm going to send my mom a clip of all these things Judd said. And when she sees him at the outing this year. That is taking it out of context. Exactly. Catch for a grape. Catching a grape in your mouth.

How was the grape tossed? I do not know that, but I assumed it's launched. Slingshot, probably know that but I assumed it to launched. Slingshot probably. Yeah, I assumed it to launch. This can is sweet. Because at some point if you launch it too hard that grape is going to disintegrate in the air. So you got to find the sweet spot of like... Frozen grape.

Frozen. Can you imagine getting a mile long grape? Oh, went through the back of his skull. Yeah. I'm going to say... A mile longer. Oh, went through his back of his skull. Yeah. I'm going to say. I think a football field slightly bigger than a football field is a safe bet. I'm going to say 475 yards.

No, feet, feet, feet, feet, 475 feet. That's what I meant. Please say your hundred five feet. That's right. Yeah Please say your answer to feet that's what I have the answer. I'll just do 360 feet then 350 feet. Oh Yeah, you're close with the football slowly coming up I was like, you know, I'm It's a Monday All right, uh Illuminated it causes Illuminati a man from Iran But balanced how many spoons on his body a

Man a man how many things you balance on your penis? What I would not be able to support one spoon Really if I got excited if I got excited maybe a man from Iran a man from Iran man from Iran they call him spoon guy spoons man okay this is gonna be the B thing again we're like a spoons on a spoon yeah how do you bet like is he doing them all like on his nose or is it like laying flat? I can put a spoon in my head. Hmm I'm a little upset with 50 spoons. No 162 88 spoons Jack is called. Yeah 88 spoons I would honestly I think we could beat that

88 spoons how the heck because if I could just stack a bunch of spoons together, I'd put them on your shoulders. Oh yeah, and they totally are stable. Yeah. Because when I put them in my kitchen drawer, they definitely stay perfectly stacked when I close it. Maybe you wouldn't slam a chute every time. I do it when I'm angry because I'm cleaning. This is an Illuminati can, you see that right?

Yeah. How high is the highest jump on a pogo stick? Didn't come up. I'll wait for later. Highest jump on a pogo stick. Give me 17 feet. 21. 11 feet, three inches. We're way off. Yeah, you guys are getting worse at this. But Jack is... But I feel like that's all in the pogo stick. You don't get a record for jumping that high in a pogo stick. What the fuck is this? Orange sunshine.

Read the fucking can. A size on ale brew with lemon and orange zest. Move over little Sebastian. How short is the shortest living horse? Also named Michael. They call him named Michael. They call him Big Michael. Little Sebastian's a Parkland reference, right? Yep.

Did you write that or did the website write that? I wrote that. Good. That one I approve of. That was pretty good, yeah. There are some I want to hit you for, but. They measure horses and hands, so you have to do my hands. And he's bigger than me?

An average horse that. Are we going height? I think, yeah. Yeah, the shortest. I think I've heard people with normal sized horses say they're 13 hands high. Oh, OK, so this one. Do not go in hands. I don't have the number in hands. Normal size horses said they're 13 hands high. Oh Okay, so this one

Three and a half feet three and a half feet three and a half feet give me Two feet three and a half inches Jack wins again it is 22 inches Yeah, 26 inches 26 one 2 inches 22 inches 22 point 30 That's 3 6 got to see this we're talking babies World's smallest be 1 1 foot 10 inch That's a cat holy shit. Let me see it. It's a pig in disguise Oh My god, yeah

Looks like a pigs in a blanket got out of the blanket All right, all right mama mia here we go again, what is the fastest time to eat one bowl of spaghetti How big's the bowl spaghetti right? These measurements are in an Who's saying? Is it an American bowl? Is it an Italian bowl? Is it a Russian bowl? I would say a bowl. Alright, at Olive Garden. Thirty-six seconds. Twenty-four seconds. Michael gets this one. Twenty-six seconds is the answer. Twenty-six point sixty-nine seconds. Of course. Alright. But what that guy did after winning that world record. Alright. That's going to hurt. How many wooden toilet seats did the record holder Kevin Shelley break over his head in one minute? Why? Why is this a record? Why? Why is this a record?

But this one seems like one of those ones that you see on like the morning news. Oh yeah. That are like, we've set out a million coconuts for him to smack that into. We found this one hill person that lives in the neighborhood. Let's watch. There's an ambulance waiting by. Uh, wooden toilet seats, is there? And then right after it's like a random mom being like, stay out of the summer heat this summer with frozen popsicles. See I just put juice and popsicles in.

It freezes right up your kids will love them they won't even know the difference and now we're having my daughter Amy cover Kelly Clarkson local news okay how many wouldn't and how how long one minute one minute I'm gonna say he's probably as fast as the parakeet. I would say so. But I would say a little bit less because. 40. All right. I will say 36 then. Add those two numbers together.

46. That's how many you got. 46. 40 and 36. That's 76, Judd. No, merge the four and the six. Shut the fuck up. I get it. I think that, all right, so hang on. I think this might be pretty damn close. Yeah. No merge with the four

I think alright, so hang on. I think this is might be pretty damn close. Yeah, I think I might have won it with that last I think you want it. I was on a tear there and then yeah, you're on there. So I think I think right now Jack is up one really? Okay Cuz I gave you both a point for one of those. Yeah so Let's say this one's for two this last one. Okay winner takes all shit. What are we taking? You know the loser has to chug their beer Guess who's guessing zero

Sweet pea an Australian Shepherd recorded how many steps with a full glass of water on her nose. How many steps? The full glass of water not spilling a drop. How old is Sweet Pea? I do not know. I think they have to be between three and five. Does she have all four legs? Yes. That's important to know. It is because otherwise we'd be in circles and then we count those steps. It's the circles. And you just keep. I'd say 57 steps.

57 steps. How many feet is that? I have it in steps. How many hands is that? You don't measure steps in hands. You measure them in feet. I have it in steps. OK.

58. What a douche. Do you think it paid off? Yeah. It did not. Woo. It is 10 steps. What most people would expect. They didn't make it. I'm looking at this record and I was like, oh, that's pretty cool. I got gotta be a lot of steps and they go 10. I was like, what the fuck? Give me a dog right now.

I'll get my cat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The dude sheer just cats are so quick. They're like hey they went 45 feet in two seconds and they don't move their head when they're hunting either. They're just like. I love watching a cat go into like primal mode even with your plane with it yeah it goes into primal mode there's a I have a wool sock that I will like dangle in front of our youngest cat and like once he finally was like you know I'm gonna fucking kill this thing I thought for the first like when he first bit into it and he like wouldn't let go I thought I was like oh it's stuck in his mouth so I was like Guinness come here like I gotta get this out of your mouth. And he's like, get the fuck away from me.

And then all of a sudden I was like, oh no, he wants to kill this sock. And he's killed this sock no less than 50 times. It's how I get him to leave me alone. I'm like, here's your sock. And he'll go and then he just takes it to a corner and then he takes his back paws and he just beats the shit out of the sock,

rolls on the ground and and does like the dog, like whatever thing. And I'm like, imagine being like a mouse. That thing would be in four pieces in a matter of seconds. And for a price, we can send you that sock. Speaking of price of socks, someone did offer us $150 for all three of ours. Three of ours?

I'm in. Yeah. All right. That's all he cares about. I'm in, baby. We'll send it. dollars for all three of ours three of ours We'll send it drop a pin But you got a common location who this send me a location Yeah, I sent a bunch of people stickers That asked for them with your socks stickers. Okay without a return address, and I don't think they've ever gotten them. I probably sent it wrong. I gave them to the mail place.

Did you write things down on it? I thought they were supposed to know where they go. Can you bring this to Demon Slayer 1776? What says Adam on it? Can you get it to Adam please? I bet there are people that do that. There have to be some fucking people that do that. They also probably believe in conspiracy theories. I told you the life hack that is unethical,

that I have learned that if you ever need to get a letter somewhere, put your name in the actual address, in your address in the actual where you want to send address, in the actual where you wanna send it, and then put their address in that, and it'll get returned to sender. Wait, what? That's, you nasty boy, you've done that? Don't put a stamp on it.

Do you think statute of limitations, you're gonna be okay? Like, like if you don't have a stamp on it, they're not gonna put a stamp on there and send it to you. They'll just return to sender. Yeah, but they gotta be smart enough to be like, this is supposed to be in Texas right now. It was already sent, that doesn't make sense. I guess, I feel like you can do that in state.

You can't do that state, like if I wanna say something like Minnesota, we could try. Who wants some stickers? fraud yeah like don't yeah I don't know I think okay when's the last time you did it I'm not saying that on camera all right well at least ten years ago I think is what you need to not get jail I was 27 27 years ago statute of limitations really murder I think that's murder. Or is that murder? I think that's murder. Probably. Argument? Same thing.

Mail fraud and murder. Mail fraud and murder. This guy didn't have a stamp? Kill him. You have all these guys in shorts running around delivering mail. So, here's a fun and ethical fact for you. That's fun. I like that fact. I thought of like, imagine if you had to like send all your thank yous for your wedding or something like that fact. I thought of like, imagine if you had to like send all your like thank yous for your wedding

or something like that. Just all to you and put all their address in there. You can go buy one stamp. It's like wow this guy got a lot of mail. All in the same envelope. Someone in the bathroom of our gym, someone turned it in and goes, hey I found this roll of stamps for postcards. What do I do with it?

I go, who has a one stamps for, who's doing postcards from Wisconsin? And who's got a roll of stamps for it? Someone's like an avid postcard person. Have you ever sent a postcard in your life? No, but I know it's a thing. It is a thing, for sure is. Yeah, people like do that.

They're like books and postcards. Why? And stamps, stamps? Why? Don't know I feel like I'm sure unreal that people collect them. It's like a real like Great Depression shit Yeah, like quarters really artsy I feel like postcards are like the group photo of an outing like hey We should probably send it because it's or and take it because it's nice I'm never gonna look at this again

I'll probably send it and take it because it's nice. I'm never going to look at this again. Like when you get like, if we did something like for the outing, if we got everyone together and we took a giant picture, I'll look at it the day of and maybe post it because it's a lot of people. I will never look at it again. I don't care. You hear that Diego? Cusky isn't looking at your shit. How dare you take any photos.

Yeah. I think it's weird though that like postcards like for people that are on vacation sending like it to people being like thinking of you on vacation but it's like typically you're gone for a week. Yeah. Yeah, it probably gets there after you get I mean you get souvenirs from vacation you get the the magnet that has the mountain that you were by Why I? Don't get the bring a souvenir back from vacation It depends on the vacation of it like where you if you went somewhere like really cool They're gonna find a sweet coffee mug of something. I like I probably would get it

I think it also depends on the souvenir. If you're gonna, if I went to Europe, and it was like, and I was the kind of person that got souvenirs, like, I'm gonna bring you guys back something from Europe. It would not have the name of where I went on it at all. Like, no one cares. I don't want a magnet, and I've gotten them from clients,

it's not great, but it's like, we went to Spain for two weeks, I brought you want a magnet, and I've gotten them from clients. It's not great. But it's like, we went to Spain for two weeks. I brought you back a magnet that says Spain. It's like, I've never been to Spain. I don't need this magnet. I don't want this magnet. It doesn't make sense. Do you have anything that says like Colorado or Denver on it?

No. But I've also been there. So if I do have anything, I would get it. I have the Upstate hat I'm wearing right now. Exactly. Turn that around for the camera. But I've get it. I have the upstate hat I'm wearing right now exactly But I've been over the camera, but I but I've been there I've been there and my girlfriend went there so that makes sense that I have because I've gone there. I've got it But if I've never been there, I don't want something from Spain unless it's like hey, I got this like

Like a big food person. Mm-hmm. Oh, I got this like Super nice olive oil from Italy or something like that. That's a good souvenir. I don't want a magnet that says, or a postcard that's like, hey, we're on vacation, you're not. Yeah, I mean, it depends on the person. Some people like trinkets.

That's what they do. That's their thing and they like to memorize. I had a buddy, he went to somewhere out broad and he just brought back absinthe. I mean, that's for certain people. That is quite the drinkers They just love to grab different things, you know That's fine

Some people love Descord and Roses But I'll never get like we went to Florida in May and one of the girls was like I need to get something for my mom Your mom does not give a shit about getting a shirt that says Sarasota, Florida on it Yeah, that's like words a little bit different I don't remember when we went to Italy, we brought everyone something back. And it wasn't anything that said, oh, a picture of the Coliseum. But it was like, got my grandpa a hat from the Roman soccer team, or olive oil holder, or earrings from someplace. So we got things like that.

But if I would have gotten just a picture. I did get them a puzzle of one of the things though, but they like to do puzzles because they're old. But if I would have gotten them a trinket, I feel like they'd be like, this is just going to sit up in the cupboard. But I think it's just like the postcard. It's just the thing that says, hey, I was thinking about you when I was abroad. Yeah.

That's all it is. Or I was thinking about you when I was in. Yeah. That's all it is. Or I was thinking about you when I was in Glacier National Park or some shit like that. You know, it's fine. Yeah, I guess it's fine. Yeah. It is a nice little, hey, I love you. I had to bring this through customs.

You know how many socks I had to shove this in so it didn't break? I was in a truck stop and I saw your name. I thought it would be fun to have to get you a keychain. I think that's where half the gifts are from like oh shit we didn't get anything fucking Jenny anything fucking stop at the gas station real quick we haven't left the state yet just get a hat that says I love New York yeah it's nothing expensive back in the Walgreens when I lived in Florida like

we were in Tampa so like that was like a cheap way for people to go to Orlando to Disney World and every Walgreens had like Fuckload of Disney merch and they were all like like cheap because it wasn't like actual Disney merch And so I was like always seeing people like when I'd go away like when I'd go in there People would always be like just like loading up on Disney shirts to bring home to their families and stuff I was like this should be smart move like because you're not spending $70 a t-shirt Exactly, that's like a smart move. Because you're not spending $70 a t-shirt at Disney. Exactly. That's a smart move.

It's like, still from Florida, still says Disney. You don't have to tell them where you got it. The dumbest thing, so we used to, every spring break, we used to be down in Florida for baseball. And we would be in Fort Myers, because that's where we had. But we had one day off on Wednesdays, and we would go to the beach. And our other group, my buddy's college team also was down in Fort Myers, Florida.

And they also had Wednesdays off. So we'd meet at the beach. And we would just terrorize the beach, get hammered, talk to a bunch of stupid people. And they had a booty shaking contest. It was just like, wow. Anyways, my favorite thing is all the girls would buy like Fort Myers Beach t-shirts. And that was the thing. And my dumb

idiot sense of humor was, this was always my go in. I'm like, Oh my God, you're from Fort Myers Beach? That's crazy. It's just like a sea full of people with Fort Myers Beach. And they're like, no, I'm from like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They would never get it but it was just always in the. They'd be like no I'm actually from. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care. Colorado. No I don't care. I mean yeah. You all had the same t shirt on. Yeah. But it's a very dumb joke but think of like a college kid like yeah. So that also from her. Are we twins. What is going to get a shot. Should we get a step brother. So with that being said if you guys like to send us stuff

from your town dude Jack's address is just peel box we would decorate would actually said what no we got our socks I don't know if they want but I bet you send us cool stuff we'll send socks put it in the comments if you want to send us stuff we'll we'll get a box yeah I will send socks back you just leave Wilson socks we won't tell you who they're from because yeah They'll know don't know the stinky ones are for me. Well here's the thing we still have the original We are supposed to send first we should Thumbtack in a bag in a storage unit right now you guys want I don't know where those are gonna be ripe

They're gonna be I bet you they smell delicious Just some people sucks people eat socks, but There's delicious smells Chocolate chip cookies. Yes I think we wrap this up only Only hands can satisfy. We start talking about eating feet. Only piggies can satisfy. All right guys. Bye.