Fat Chance Podcast - Our Favorite Spencers Gifts & Shady Mechanics Ep.138

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

NEVER have a hangover again w/ Booze Better Supplements! Seriously, we can't recommend this enough! Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo We have fallen in love with COMFRT Hoodies and it's time for you to do the same! Use our code for 15% off the best anxiety sweatshirt on the market! https://www.comfrt.com/MICHAEL52440 PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all others Jack - @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)

It's also insane that we allowed the AJ Brown and whatever trade for Sam Laporta is the worst year for tight ends ever. That was a year. Brown has not played since. Yeah. But when he does, it's going to be insane. Yeah. Yeah.

It's going to be. So we're watching the debate tonight. Oh God. That'd be so silly be insane. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be. So we're watching the debate tonight? Oh, god. That'd be so silly of us if we were to do that. Maybe don't put this on the camera. There's a debate tonight. Yeah. I didn't know there was a debate tonight.

I, of course, am up with the time. I don't know. Oh, Skip. I love what I've been really digging with election season is the turf wars going on throughout this neighborhood. I've been having digging with election season is the turf wars going on throughout this neighborhood. I've been having a lot of fun. Yes.

Every other house is a different sign when I drive in. It's so funny. And like the Mrs. will like walk the dogs or she'll like be driving and she'll call me. She goes, this house got got a Trump sign. And she's like, house next door. Biden hairs. Come on, Kamala.

It's so funny, because one person will put it up, and then someone next to them will either do the same one or the opposite. I mean, there's only two choices. But it's funny, because I'm watching. I'm just picturing these old people looking out the window. They're like, did you see what Jim put up? Get the Kamala sign.

I saw a Carl Havoc sign 2024 I don't want to be here anymore I don't want to be here anymore But yeah it's been quite a fun little trip around the block here The dog is getting nervous Oh I saw this, did you guys see the commercial? The farmer's dog commercial Where the ref

And then he comes home and he feeds his dog a delicious farm-grown meal and the dog is his like best friend They're like snuggling on the floor that tore me I was that really fucked me up guys. It was bad and I wanted to show it to Jen that was like I don't know if I think if I showed to her and she gets emotional I'm gonna break down into tears right now this poor ref Just made the worst call of his life and his only solace is feeding his dog a microwave farm fresh meal I've not seen that one, but I think I might laugh when I see it next Oh, it's gonna tell target your heartstrings, dude. You're going to be like, I'm going to go get a dog.

No, I can't get a pet because I know they're going to die. I just like, I'm at that point right now where I can't get a pet because I know they're going to die. Why is it the first thing you think of? Because I don't like heartbreak. I'm a sensitive, soft little man. You're not going to laugh at this commercial then? Are you worried about me?

Not at all. I'm the oldest one in this room. I'm the closest to death in this room. No we don't know any health precursors. That is true. Also I don't either so. Those dogs are. I did my 23andMe I think I I think I'm good I think I have a slight chance to be diabetic Maybe really I don't like how quiet it got for two side like I can hear wondering We talked about it before you got here we said we weren't gonna say anything It didn't last very long No We weren't going to say anything. But then you brought it. It didn't last very long. You brought it up. You brought it up. No. Did you see all the Red Bull that he brought to the golf course?

Sugar free. Red Bull and a funnel. I'm trying to make a change. Do you want more? Yeah, sure. I don't care. Is the lady going to? Did you go through it already?

No. Is she? Are you telling her you can't touch that now? Na na na na. Na na na boo boo. These are mine. But yeah. This is going to be a shitty football game. And it looks like it. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Seven and nine again. I definitely dropped. I bet I bet I have no more than five wins I bet you you have well first of all there's only 14 games, so you can't go seven and nine

All right, so I stupid all right here. We go Jack That's not bad. No, that's better than I thought but that's what I usually do no Cusky go seven and seven yeah That's what I'm saying. I can't believe I did better in last place. Fuck. Yes. He's gonna say it's still me. Still Cusky. Yeah. But Judd ties with seven and seven. Yeah. I think I got the it's the chief's game. You wouldn't let me switch back. Oh yeah. Maybe take the chargers. Yeah. Nope. You gotta take it. You made me take Green Bay when I was going to take Minnesota.

I make you take Green Bay. He said you got to take Vikings. No. Are you said you said you got to take a backers. Also you guys did it again. The Bears. I picked the Bears and you guys. We did. We also were like shut up because now they're gonna win. Yeah. And that's exactly what they are them So we might as well get this started So if you could jokingly pick the Packers this week and we'll make fun of you for it. That would be nice All right boys that was a tough game to to go to for the first half. Yeah, that was not fun But it was a good time in the second half the second second half was good. We were kind of marching back.

It was also still warm out. Yeah it's great time when it's warm out. Also the least energetic bus ride I've ever taken to Lambo in my life. We get to Stenny's and they have three coach buses lined up for us and we go this place can be fucking packed. Yeah. Walked, there's so much room in this bar. There's 20 people. First of all, Brandon's going to hate that I shared this. I pick Brandon up, take Brandon to the game and he goes, I got to shit. I was like, okay. And so I was like, we need to get beer and then we get a coffee and he takes one sip and he goes, I'm going to shit my pants. I go, okay, we'll drop you off at the bar, sign us in. I go park the car, come back, he's in the bathroom. He comes out and kind of like a shuffle walk,

like, you know, he's moving. And I'm like, hey man, you good? He goes, I plugged the toilet and someone's waiting for it. And I was like, dude, it's bad enough shitting at the bar, but if you plug it and then someone is waiting to use it as well and it's only a single stall bathroom, they know exactly, they waited for it. They watch you walk out like...

And you walk out with a weird walk because your ass is still hot from the shit. You know it's not a comfortable walk. You're like, you're walking gingerly. So he finds the one guy at 7.30 in the morning who already has like a mop and a bucket cleaning something up and goes, hey man, we need a plunger. And I go, dude, I feel so bad for this guy. It's 730 in the morning and he goes, I'm already plunging shit and mopping up vomit before a game. Sometimes it's pretty high energy. That seems like a really high energy space. I think Brandon might have shit a little bit on the floor before he got in.

Oh my god. But we got there, and as we, they're like, hey, get on the buses. They go on the intercom. We have 110 seats for the back two buses total, and there's only 50 of you going. There was 12 people on my bus. It was just like a quiet ride.

That sucks. Did they have drinks for you? No, not. We took the regular bus was like we bought drinks at the bar and brought them on But I like it a tailgate party for you when you get there No, not the Stennys one. We brand his buddy had a tailgate. We just went to that had a few drinks and then Popped into the game which was which was fun, but a rough half. It's too expensive there. It's too expensive The fact that a hot dog is over $12 that's insane for over $12 for a hot dog. I don't care if it's 45 feet long

That's too much money for a hot dog. Yeah The cost guard down the road. Did you just get their hot dogs? They probably do did you get their hot dogs from there and sell them? You know what I mean? I think they I mean they probably get a shipped in they don't need to go to Guys we're taking this loop too seriously You think Matt LaFleur is in charge of the hot dogs? Yeah Yeah Like I know is a good dog that guy probably isn't it I mean he's a good-looking dude He probably isn't a hot dog in a while

He only shoots dogs like Hershey would himself do you know that video no Hershey would shoots a good dog Pulled up Hershey I am NOT gonna be the guy that if anyone Anyone of us three is gonna be the pull it up It's YouTube. It's on YouTube. Just pull it up quick. Just pull it up guy. It's YouTube. It's YouTube. It's on YouTube. Just pull it up quick. Just pull it up. It's YouTube, it's safe.

It's safe. I like how you're like, your reason of pulling it up, it's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. We're on YouTube TV. That's YouTube TV. You can't go on YouTube TV.

You gotta open up a new tab. Fine, I'll just do it. Do it on your phone. Do it on your phone. No, you gotta see it first. That's right. You idiots, let's go. Come on.

You don't wanna see Hershey Wards shooting a good dog. What are you talking about? Is this a this sounds like a black gentleman eating hot dogs. No it's a white guy inhaling hot dogs. We could. I've seen the Kutu Kobayashi or no. What was that. That was perfect. That was not. That was not. That was not that was not I don't know you say Joey chestnut And he does not eat hot dogs like Hershey would because Hershey would shoots dogs To see my boy, she's you dogs My boy, she would we got it all see it at once cuz it's gonna really suck I feel like this and then we go

All right guys do your homework at home Hershey would shoots a good dog Well how many games we got this week all right we got the same By We got the same but the by start to look at and see there's a good dog too. I haven't seen good dog too but I bet it's not as good as the first. There it is right there. So she would do. He looks like he's an extra on the bear.

Like he's a stunt guy. We do not need volume for this. You need to do what he says. I don't know if I do. Oh he brings it back up. You need to do what he says. I don't know if I do oh Well he brings it back up he shoots good dogs, this is the David Blaine of hot dogs For those of you for those of you listening at home? In slow motion have you ever wanted to vacuum a hot dog? That's who her she would is and then at the vacuum had a reverse setting. I think two comes out at this one

No, he missed he dry heaved on the last Stuck getting a hot dog stuck in your esophagus. Up here. So now you guys have seen Hershey Wood shooting a dog. I've lost four years of my life watching this video. You didn't think Hershey could do that though. I saw it in your eyes. Honestly he's in a trailer park just park like just some odd like Kmart parking lot. Okay. Here's a question

Does he discover that talent by accident or is he practicing? I don't know. I think he practices he had to I don't know If he's got teeth and that's why he's I think the first one's accident but to do three and then Machine gun burst blast went out of your throat, that's practice. He was at the Tampa Bay Rays game and someone hit a home run and he went, and he shot it out and he's like, oh fuck, I can do this, this is my party trick. And the funny thing is- Yeah, he just got shocked and hit high on it. The best part was when he had one in his hand, he was like, we're gonna go viral with this

shit and he was like smacking it like a can of There's a lady on the phone in the background the whole time On the phone yeah, I'm impressed to His name's Hershey's all right, she would let's let's make these picks. I'm about to go one for 11 Alright Let's make these picks. I'm about to go one for 11. You're about to go viral with this one. All right. Tampa Bay at Atlanta. Tampa. Tampa.

I'm going to go Tampa as well. Jets at Minnesota. Jets. I'm going to say give me Jets. Minnesota. Carolina at Chicago ooh Carolina I would give it to the Bears I Will also do the Bears

both Baltimore at Cincinnati Cincinnati What Baltimore Baltimore as well Miami at New England? What Baltimore Baltimore as well Miami at New England New England New England New England Cleveland at Washington Washington Washington What fire Washington as well?

Indianapolis at Jacksonville. Oh Gosh, honestly, it really depends on where's my playing like was playing probablyacco's playing, probably. You want Flacco to play. Yeah. I think I'm going to go, hmm. Who did Jacksonville just play? They're playing right now. No, they just played yesterday. They lost. Yeah, but who did they play?

Because they were in the game. Oh, yeah, they were in the game. They lost to Houston. Houston. I think they're turning it around a bit. I'm going to say Jacksonville. All right, the 0-4 Jacksonville Jaguars are turning it around a bit.

And that's the thing is I feel like this is their time to turn it around, if anyone. Yeah. But listen, I have nothing to lose. I am in deadlock. But if Flacco is playing? I'm going to go with Indianapolis on this okay all right it's great eggs okay Buffalo at Houston Bill's got trounced yeah I can come back game Buffalo yeah give me bills give me

Houston Las Vegas at Denver mmm Give me Denver. Give me, do you think Adams will play? What was his injury, why was he out? Little hamstring or something? Little hamstring. Oh. He's just waiting to get traded to the Jets. Yeah, probably. I'm gonna say Vegas.

I'm gonna go Denver. Arizona at San Fran. San Fran. Arizona. I'm gonna at San Fran San Fran Arizona San Fran Green Bay at the ramps Green Bay Green Bay I'm gonna go Green Bay as well you have to such a dumb pick Giants at Seattle Seattle as well. Dallas at Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Dallas. I'll go Dallas. New Orleans at

Kansas City. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. New Orleans. Give me KC. I'm gonna keep picking them until they lose one. I'll do Kansas City as well. They just lost one.

Next week. Prime time. Actually, that's Monday so we don't even count that one. Well, who knows? Maybe we'll issue it. Maybe we'll film late. So I'm in first place. Yeah.

You've gotten nine wins every time, but last week you got eight wins. Yeah. And then you've had? I've gotten 8, 8, 9, 7. OK. I think I've gotten 8, 8, 7, 7. Yep. Give him another point. Yeah, I think I've gotten eight eight seven seven

Yeah, I'll take I'll take Yeah, don't don't give don't open the door for me Don't open the door to play are we playing the game right now? What if we just told him no one's we're picking I mean, we're playing. Oh, I like this game. So that'd be very hurt. Okay. Let's not play a game this week How my dogs aren't dying right now, so why would they be dying they're not they're not locked up in the mrs Is out running errands? Oh are they just upstairs or they outside? Yeah, I'm hearing them click-clack. Oh, they're clickety-clacking Yeah, like the good old Good fun. I'm chewing on from chewing on nails All right. This game is how much is this item from Spencer gifts. Thank you. That's a good game. Okay. I'm going to show you an item and you have to tell me

the price of it. Spencer gifts. Can we go like an over under like prices right. I'm going to say this is more than nineteen ninety nine. But you guys are going to go against each other. OK fine. All right. We'll do pricing. We'll alternate who gets his first. OK. Who gets the yee haw drinking hand. Yee haw motherfuckers drink. OK. Why is it the font messed up because the printer was racist and it just messed up. All right. Just one. I would be drinking hat. Walk me through your process on what those are. It's party time with this awesome cowboy inspired drinking hat. You can get your drink on at double the speed and look cool while doing it. Why does he do it to himself? He's

not good at reading and then he gives him like a whole spiel. You didn't mess up anywhere. Yeah, that was great. And it was pretty smooth with the drinking apparatus and not just a hat. I think this bumps up to about 26 99. I was gonna go 24.99 so we'll do that yeah it is 1999 wow that's a real cheap hat y'all it's plastic now this is a good gauge or Spencer's might actually be more fair price than I think all right by the way you could get that or you could get one hot dog at Lambeau field. All right. How much is this little wizard liquid dispenser. He's peeing. Yeah he's peeing. Little it's little wizard not wizard. Oh

little lizard. Liquor dispenser. Little wizard liquid dispenser. He's a lot like your Uncle Danny. All right. Don't leave his name out, you fucking mouth. Take drink into a new level, fill this little wizard with your favorite liquor, and let him drain his main vein and fill up your cup. How much? How tall does it stand? Like a standard hope? Like a standard soap dispenser? I would say yes Put a cup underneath is it liquid or liquor dispenser 999 Bob 999 okay $999 nine dollars nine dollars

It probably is real mahogany at is it plastic or is it I think it's wicker It's not definitely not wicker That the bottom could be no the bottom I mean a nice could be ceramic. I'm gonna go I Was really gonna say 39.99, but I'm gonna take that back. I'm gonna go 1495 that was gonna be my second guess it is That's the same price as the hat. Also, one hot dog at Lambeau Field. All right.

The Make It Rain money machine. 1999, Bob. The Make It Rain money machine makes it rain with the official licensed money machine. This shooter also includes a hundred bills of play money. Good. Good. It's a fun toy for perfect batch for parties, Bachelorette parties,

and birthday parties. Dude, that printer does not like the letter I. No. No. What happened? Uh did you actually sit on the printer? No, I had to use a different printer than I normally do because we were out of toner.

Somebody's been printing too much. It'll work. Don't know why. Nothing's better than steel and margarine. That's so funny. I've put in some serious orders for the golf outing through the work. I'm going to print some posters, Bob. So how much. You said

nineteen. I'm going to go thirty four ninety nine. Cuskies. It is. Nineteen ninety. They're all going to be. Or. The price of. All right. How much for this neon green mink? I have one of those. Wait what? I have that similar garment. Does it go between the cheeks? Yeah. It looks like it just cups under the balls and that's what keeps it taut. But mine is Rudolph. I got it as a Secret Santa gift. It has jingle bells. I'll pull up a picture. So I made a blanket. No, you wear it over clothes. I'm working for relaxing on the beach. Knowing you look good. It's made out of stretchy fabric. So you can fit snugly in all the right places. That's good. That's good. 1599. I'm going to go. That's not a lot of money for ninety nine. It is nineteen ninety nine. The winner is my question fifteen ninety nine which means once again it's like a Lambo hot dog. It is

green. Hey do us a favor. Are they all nineteen ninety nine. We will find out. With this next item an alcohol shotgun. That's not what my first guess was that was a sucker machine that was a flashlight shooting your own you're like pulling the trigger like you're using your foot you'll have everyone at the party opening wide with this shotgun. Brilliant shotgun is perfect for parties and hilarious on Bachelorette nights. 1999. That is a tie. Good job guys. That was a good rip. That's strong. I like how you got the fuckable part and I got the... How much is this fantasy football stroker?

Nineteen ninety! This needs to be blurred. This needs to be blurred. That needs to be blurred. Why are you putting your fingers there? I'm just trying to find it. Get ready to make the best play of your life by using this fantasy football...

Write your name football write your name That's bananas that does need to be Football to any party and get action at a moment's notice No, I said hik. Yeah, just but be nothing's better than being the biggest bro and being playing center for your boy Snap faster Hurry up back there. it's my turn! It's fourth and long. It says switch on your play calls by using either side of the dual end. Wait, they open up both ends?

You could dock! It's a vagina. Oh my god. Alright, 1999. yeah oh my god this whole season is a guarantee it's all right 1999 give me 2499 it is 2490 they are not all 1990 all right i'm definitely gonna look this up and i want the other side to be a butt that would be amazing i bet you the other side gets used more I bet you the other side gets used more No unless you share with a buddy What is a butthole yes

I'm not pulling this one up on YouTube Looks more like a belly button that is a belly button. That's like one of those weird in the outies That's not some loose butthole though How much is this fart machine with remote control I'm going to press it for wow. That's what it says. Normal and wow. $23.96. Weird tax. They only sell this in Canada. Give me $14.99. It is $19.99.

It's going to be fucking hell. No, because that's price is right rule.'m over if that was the case or just keep going under you can we get one of these and make this fancy football trophy yes that would be great make this a fantasy football trophy? Yes. That would be great. That is our fantasy football trophy. We could spare $24.95.

$24.99. But here's the thing. It only goes to the loser. After everybody, so the winner goes first. Yes. Second place goes second. Imagine you get it. It's like, this looks wider than before.

Yeah. Yeah. We know we didn't have it then. The laces are worn off. All right, freak out your roommates with this. Toilet seat turd. Is it rubber, you think? It's a fake turd to put on a toilet seat. $9.99.

Yeah, that's. That's cheap enough, $9.99. $6.99. It is $3.99, real cheap. Wow. Jack, that's a winner for you. I make this for free. Do you like silicone your shits?

No, I just leave it on the seat. When's the last time you think your shit was that small? Well, this is actually probably, I mean, if it. If we're going true to size, why are you holding it like this what's hard this is how he just went like oh, yeah, it's about this size Do you grip your shit? Well? Yeah, I can't flush him so I have to take him out remember the poop knife You guys told you about the poop knife. Yeah, do you still use a poop knife? No, it's just my fingers Just poop scissors Next one is any hole is my Goal Sleeveless Hoodie

with a drinking pouch where you can pour trinks out of the pouch. $29.99 It's a garment but not a lot of sleeves. Usually sweatshirts are around $35. Cut out the sleeves. So I'm going to say $42.99

It is $39.99 99 damn you're closer. Yeah honestly sweatshirts are expensive they are expensive but I figure with like not the sleeves we can cut some bread. It's got a it's literally got a piece that you can put bad wine in this thing. Look at that. Any hole was my goal and you can play that game with your very own fantasy football stroker. We missed a golden opportunity to talk about the Lambeau field hot dogs for this one. Yeah we did. That upside down. Snoop this Christmas. Keep the tradition alive. Bringing out the snoop on a stoop. Oh aren't these the dolls that parents use you used to blame like mischief on yeah Snoops never up to mischief

He has a blunt in his mouth He does I'll let you go first. I feel like this is teaching bad lessons to kids if they have that doll Depends on a lot of initiative initiative I mean it could just be he's messing a couple things up here and there doesn't need to be like high-level mischief like criminal mischief true just be tall and tall in 1999 I was gonna say that but we'll go since it's Snoop branded I've seen his dog toys Snoop dogs dog toys they're pretty expensive so I'm gonna just say this one will be

2999 it is Are you spending a lot of time and Spencer's where am I gonna find my fantasy football stroke? Yeah, I would love it if he pulled out one of those if you're using the fantasy football stroke or make sure you do this pecker dress the fantasy football stroke or make sure you do this pecker dress. Oh my gosh. That's wonderful. Funny gift. Have a hilarious hat and scarf when you play with your willy. Put it on your packer. 1599. Can be 12 1299. It is 999. I don't have a lot of faith in the economy with how expensive I think All right last but not least that's hand-knit dude. Well, that's very funny cuz we have now a vagina hand puppets You know you ever go to an oven mitt you ever go to a McDonald's and

They had like the the puppets in the corner you ever seen those Keep your hands busy and entertain yourself with this vagina hand puppet What the fuck would you use that for I? Could give you a few But you know I mean mean, it just depends. Is there a hole in the middle? But if it's just a hand and it's felt, you'd be better off.

I mean, you're better off just grabbing a blanket. Or the fantasy football stroker. Yeah. Or a Lambo field hot dog. That's true. Just take the bun. Give me, oh gosh, it's probably $12.99. I'm going to go half the price of a Lambo field hot dog that's true just take the bun give me I mean 1299 I'm gonna go half the price of a Lambo field hot dog and I'm gonna go 799 it is 1299 check you

are getting a little concerned you guys don't know that my actual day job is I manage special gifts. Special gifts. You know you just stock up. So, hey, who do we think won that one? So we come to the consensus we're buying one of those footballs, right? We are definitely getting one of those footballs. I will order it before we leave here. I like that idea. Alright.

Alright. Leave it here. Just end it now? No, no just leave the football here Oh leave the foot. Yeah, absolutely just cuz I want to make sure it's but I'm gonna like I'm gonna add a few Add a few seal stickers Jack why the butt open again no reason Jack doesn't even try it's just ripped the bottle but again no reason to try it just ripped it's wet yeah dogs have tongues don't they people don't we would find that football in the yard eating out the football oh god that would be it would taste terrible they

make flavored lubricants I know they make flavored lubricants. I know they make flavored lubricants. Well. Did you see did you see? Work of it. Where's this gone? You see did he he's over the baby oil that he had yeah And now like his lawyer had to like oh the Costco reasoning Yeah, she goes well. He's just like everyone American and just buys in bulk like at Costco Costco buys the level of what did he had and then we buy Like that's like the worst they did lawyer like shit we have to come up with something where we have to do it's so bad I mean it was what 700 something or a thousand bottles 700 dildos Thousand bottles of baby what the dildos in bulk to from Costco

Not that brand Not at Costco yet Didi here's piece of ice just 700 dildos for a reason. I don't think he wants a fantasy football stroker But like that's what you got to do just disguise just look like you're really into football He has 700 dildos for a reason. I don't think he wants a fantasy football stroker. But that's what you've got to do, just disguise it. Just look like you're really into football. You've got one of those cages in gym class that had like 95 basketballs in it.

Just do that with the fantasy football stroker, and you would have never gotten caught. That's true. Man, this guy likes playing catch with himself. Yeah. Good game. Good game. That was a good one. That was a good one. Thank you I was very happy about this game. I flip this one over. How did you think of this one? We said something about some Spencer gifts last

Week when I was watching did we I think so He was at a Spencer's game. No, no, I know I watched the episode and then we play I'll say how funny that be if I Like bring out Spencer gifts stuff been funnier if you would have brought us some footballs or if if Jack didn't get all from the fight it's not even like he got him all right he got him exactly right only two of them why no there are more than this thing right it was all 1999 to start with and I thought you guys would be like oh the next one's 1999 and then we fucking flipped it. We did. We put our mind through a blender with that one Ted. I thought you were gonna be like man we have a tie. Yeah that was fun. We did get the tie we did split it though. We did yes. I got the fuckable part which was nice. No you

got the fuckable part. I just got the trigger I I'm firing blanks You like pulling trig dude. I Don't are you a pull trig person? Well trig when my good friends told me everyone punts on a fourth down. It's okay to do it Make yourself puke right? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, no, we've done that we had that kind we ripped him a new one the first time he said that It's a fucking genius analogy. No, but you said it's so wrong the first time he said that it's a fucking genius analogy No, but you said it so wrong the first time what did I say? I don't remember but we both looked at you like what the fuck does that even mean? The thing was is now you guys are taking it very well because I already broke through your mental barrier of putting on for

I've already done the legwork now. We're here you are Kick a field goal unless yours out was everyone. Yeah, but yeah, but what's taking a field goal unless it was everyone yeah we have a what's kicking a field goal in terms of also Washington and punt till like they've like got two punts all year well if they were on for it down they probably would I mean statistically speaking that doesn't make a whole lot of sense for the day today's game but I mean they could still make some of the work that's tell you what are the stats tell you you bring numbers guy over there you have money ball no not at all I like math but I don't want to do numbers. I'm over numbers

No, no no wonders my buddy. I think said the math isn't math in about a million times My other buddies his catchphrase all weekend was man. It's a well-oiled machine. That's a good one Where were you this weekend, Indiana, Indiana? Oh, that's where you had the tequila flight yeah yeah that was so you're just there hanging out self-ban Indiana why there's Notre Dame is a college did you go to the game yeah cool you could have just started with that not trying to belittle us at the there's a college in Indiana the French that's a French ass name you all I have your number Do you ever not do impressions like no I love it. I love I can't shut up What's your best impression? I don't

Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. She um If it was a good tequila, it's like a like a tortilla rolled up with meat and cheese inside the most Yeah, exactly and even if it like there was this native Spanish speaker saying to keto They would say it to keto because it's more white man. There's a trot lines uniforms are pretty darn cool I would say it, taquito, because it's more white. Man, those Detroit Lions uniforms are pretty darn cool. Yeah. With that helmet, the black lion. You both stopped and just looked at her. Honestly, he said Detroit Lions, and I didn't make my eyes

all the way over to the right side of TV. I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's the Dolphins. But I was like, have they been playing the Lions the whole time? But what were we talking about, impressions? No, I think in song a lot. Okay sing a booze better ad for them No as in you could say something and if it has like the tone of your voice had kind of like a tune or

The phrase kind of lined up with a lyric in a song my brain will go to that song right away I'm trying to think of it. I do it with Rachel all the time like she'll say something and then I'll just she'll say like a word that's in a song or like a two words and then I'll be like just sing the other half of that lyric and just go that's where my brain goes immediately yeah when a lot of people say it's been a while. I go, it's been a while. Something like that. Fuck you guys. It's been a while. It's been a while.

If someone was like, come back, I'd be like, you can blame it. That's where my head goes. Really? Baby, come back. Taquito, go be a shit. Taquito, you've got to stop saying it. Why can't I say it? Why can't I say taquito?

It's so inaccurate. It's so inaccurate, it's so inaccurate that it's not even a problem. But I think that the fact that your accents are so inaccurate is the problem. If you had a good accent, people would go, I gotta do it. But yours is just so blatantly stereotypical.

Oh, absolutely. Oh. At least I'm not going, oh, Tokuto. Oh, yeah. Oh, Tokuto. Oh We haven't done an ad for them in a while now do it in song watching cookie you get booze better you booze better you drink better you be better. We haven't done an ad for them in a while. No do it in song. Yeah booze better. You can blame it all on the tequila flights. Also the two flights was off camera off camera. Yeah we haven't got that. No actually it wasn't. Yeah it was. It wasn't. Right here when you were doing it. Yeah but I hit record because you were

like we're going to catch fire and whatever and lightning in a bottle. I don't think you had the things in yet. I would say we shot some good wood today boys. We did shoot some good wood today. And we're going to shoot some better wood once we get that fantasy football. But if you shoot too much wood, this blue packet by Booze Better, that'll get you feeling right to shoot more wood the next morning. See, this speeds up your metabolism, your wood metabolism, really gets you feeling right the next day. But you know what?

Sometimes you've had too many woods. How many woods can a wood chuck chuck if a wood could could chuck fantasy football stroke errs and sometimes Sometimes you need to you need the second pack of the orange one caffeine really combats the headache gets you going Which character did I believe 200 milligrams you ever had a cup of coffee and then thinking yeah? I could use a second one right there. I Do think that a lot oh? Yeah, I could use a second one right there. I do think that a lot.

Oh. Big two cups of coffee like if if I get a coffee from somewhere, I'm fine with just one. But if I'm making it at home always to always to if I have a pot of coffee and she's not drinking it. I will drink that entire pot of coffee and wonder why I'm screaming in my toilet out of my backside. I just get I get weird today I get jittery if I've had too much caffeine do you have any more beers

there you go they can make a high life stroker did you see the KFC stroker no pull it up They made like a KFC chicken bucket Don't know if that's not Jack Little grainy probably hurricane coming on definitely a target parking lot You know there's a they make it's a KFC chicken bucket And you open like the top and there's two drumsticks, and you spread the two drumsticks Yeah, that was not going on my computer That's all right, that one's not going on my computer. Oh, man. That's all right.

That's okay. You can blame it. Oh, oh, I'm trying to think of like, the next time you guys say something that my brain goes right to song, I'll just start belting it out. Yeah, I would like to see your brain work that way. All right, here you go, ready?

This is it. You see what I'm looking at? There you go, that's what I need right there. Keep going, baby. Keep going. Ready for it. KFC chicken bag. We're currently looking at Jack fucking a chicken bucket. I'm not fucking it. It's some guy holding it. Why is this? I need to see this now. You think I'm making shit up. No, someone made that and it's just the most disgusting thing you've ever seen. It's art So oh You wouldn't even know someone would have that in the room to go wow

I thought that was like a new cup for them. I was like, oh, that's just Diet Coke and chicken. And it's a... Colonel has a backwards hat. It's a chikusi. I like that. It's a chikusi. Someone's first comment on Reddit is, finger licking good.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. KFC is one of those restaurants that, like when I drive by it, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever eat there again. Like've never really had there is a mass so I said like I just don't know if I'm ever gonna have like the hankering or the craving to have Panda Express or KFC I'm I don't I could almost guarantee you I will never eat at Arby's again that's fair I did it itselfanned we get it you were in Indiana trick-fil-a

no the dog up you know Notre Dame's there don't be little me it's real hard to do from down here um but but they didn't have attendance out there flagging you down were they just dead I don't know was it Sunday literally we had to wait no You had to wait I know Shit you talk to the actual people you think that people in line are actual people We had to talk to the machine or the machine which is usually a person on the other end or I've been hating though I saw everyone's tomorrow from really craving a sody On the other end. You know what I've been hating though. I saw every once in a while. I'm really craving a soda I go to McDonald's make myself a crisp back coke out of them. Okay spicy and what they do is they go welcome McDonald's

Are you using the app today? Yes, if I was using the app. I wouldn't be talking to you. Exactly Why are you asking me? I'm using driving here to type in my order for you. No we were using the app I Would have ordered it and gotten it from inside What the fuck are you guys doing here drives me nuts and the speakers over the one over here don't work very well So they just mumble and I can never tell what they're saying. I guess I the only like Everyone inside is nice in person defense I have to that are using the I don't think that needs to be the first thing they say if you're one of those people That you order something online and like you know what like you order pizza like I don't need to

Pay for delivery. I'll just go pick it up. It's five minutes on the road I'm assuming that's what the app thing is for Taco Bell or McDonald's like hey are using the app today is your order already here? And you don't want to come inside to get it, but don't start with that be like hey How can I help you like hey? I got an order there. I'm coming around that's that's how it should be Don't make me say no Don't make me say no to you. I feel I don't make me say that one syllable word. No, I don't want to know I'm not using the app. That's probably pretty convenient. Okay, I'm sorry Sorry, I'm not using it It's way too quick trip. Yeah, there's this one guy a quick trip by work. He's this old old man

God bless his heart But he always asked me if I have the rewards card. And I do, I just never have it hooked up and I always forget it in my car. So I go, I do have it, I don't want one because I keep forgetting to do it. That's me. I know.

And every time he's so mean to me. Not really, but he like jokes with me. But it's the same joke every time. And he probably does it to everyone. So he doesn't remember that he's doing it to me every time and so now I've just said No, I don't have one and I don't want one and then And then after I felt so bad. I actually got the rewards card and he still doesn't remember me I guess but now I if I ever see him I go

Yeah, I put it in, the rewards card is now basically right next to my, like the card I use the most. Cause like, do you have one? I'm like, I've already swiped it. I've already swiped it. You don't even have to ask me, I'm a pro. It's funny, like, you go there enough, and then I only get coffee there,

and I guess gas sometimes, but I usually only get coffee there. And then I'll check out and once every three weeks, like, do you want to use this coupon for a dollar, whatever, off just a free cup of coffee? And I'm like, see, the rewards card's worth it. I've come here 16 times, so you guys have given me one cup of coffee. Like, this is useless.

Otherwise, you enter all your visits in to get a sweepstakes thing. You're not gonna win. I've tried I've tried to win a a paddleboard You know they were giving away a car. Yeah, I could use that but did you think I was gonna get that one? You could have tried Just sounds even worse because he's just scraping on concrete It just sounds even worse because he's just scraping on concrete. I mean it sounds pretty much the same I think.

It sounded way worse after the outing when I actually was scraping on the ground with the exhaust. Did that guy fix it? Yeah he did. No but we found what I need. Okay. So. Did you get what you need?

Yeah. You found a new car? I got what I need. Did you replace it yet or you just had it? No it takes a while to ship a car part. Okay. But the guy that works on your car, he's in the area still. He hasn't disappeared on you yet. He hasn't disappeared on me yet. I'm going to owe him a case of Bud Light and he's going to weld it right up there for me.

Okay, maybe if you stop paying your mechanics and shitty light beer, maybe shit won't keep breaking on you. Do you also give it to him before or after he starts working on your car? During. I drink it with him. That actually working on your car during I drink it with him that seems about right then I drink it with him you sit on a paint bucket and just watch it work you last time we put a number that is welding stuff with no with no like mask or anything do you remember the front end of my car in front of his face do you remember the front end of my car like off? He's the one that replaced the new one. And I gave him a case of beer.

And he goes, I'm hungry. And then he ordered us a family-sized Sings of Wings. And I'm like, you're net negative on this one. I'm drinking the beer I bought for you, and you bought me food. He likes doing that stuff. That's a good deal. Yeah. You know, I get to hang out with my stuff so it's a good deal yeah

you know i get to hang out with my friends it's a good mechanic to have yeah good friend to have maybe just dangle the carrot though nah nah nah another dangle my muffler

barmy wants to like make my card louder yeah i'm actually surprised it wasn't dragging on the ground sooner. It just took 12 people in my backseat to really just bottom it out. That's an insane car to have 12 people in two. The car has nine lives. I mean, literally the timing belt went out on the freeway coming back home from Madison.

Who was driving it? Me. No, yeah, Madison who was driving it me okay yeah no yeah it wasn't driving pulled her over real quick I was driving are you a kidnap human I see you're alone but there's no way a girl like you would be driving a car like this unless she was being held at gunpoint where is he is this your rental no I lose driving home and I literally thought I was gonna have like the greatest week of my life the First video that went viral for the podcast the Selena Gomez one happened that week that this was blowing up I had a vacation planned for later in the week. I just had a good set of comedy on state

I am on cloud nine driving home. I'm on the phone with Rachel. She goes, I'll just keep you company. I'm like, all right, that's fine. And I'll send you here, and I go, hey, my car is no longer going above 55 miles an hour. So I was like, let me call you back, Rach. And I'm like, I just, when it happened, just past an exit,

I'm like, all right, I'll just get on the next one. Three and a half miles later was the next one. And I call my mom. I'm like, hey, you might need to come get me. And my mom answers, and she's in tears already. I go, what's going on? She goes, I'm at the vet. Your cat, or our cat, had a heart attack.

We're gonna have to put it down. I'm like, this is not a good day. Bad day. This is not, like, I literally call my mom at, basically midnight, and she's crying with her cat that just had a heart attack. I'm like can you come get me in I? Don't know Lake Mills Lake Mills and Like you need to call your father I go Okay, and then it took me 45 minutes. I parked in a saloon themed

And then it took me 45 minutes. I parked in a saloon-themed gas station parking lot next to another car that was in it. There's someone in it, lights on. I pulled up long enough that they were like, we should turn the lights off. They never got out of their car the entire time. The entire time. My dad picked me up, had to take me downtown Milwaukee, and then I just left my car. I had to call him in the morning and go, hey, there's gonna be a car there for a while.

I think it's Exonia, right? Is that that exit? Maybe, I don't know. It was not in my mind. I know the saloon one. Actually, really good gas station. Yeah, it's a. One of my favorites.

They, and lucky enough, my dad, superhero, found a Hyundai dealership that honored a warranty on my car. Good job, dad. Yeah. It's a good dad move. My dad calls me and goes, best case scenario, what I think best case scenario is they pay for 50% of your new motor,

so your car technically wouldn't be total. I'm like, cool, this will cost me $3,500. Can you go back to them and be like, can you honor me with a new car? Can you just give me a new car? Yeah, worst-case scenario They'll pay 25% and he called me back the next he goes. They're gonna give you a brand new engine for free I was like cool. That's sick. That was live number one. You should go wait

How many engines? One just that was my first engine, but the front end's gone. We replaced the tail light. I Don't have an exhaust system right now. It just keeps blowing out in your car, in the interior? But you know what? The body, it looks like it's had 130,000 miles on it. But the engine, maybe that baby purrs. That baby purrs.

That baby purrs. It's got like 10. Hey, that's a good car to have. You just keep driving that car. And you don't seem to mind it too, so just keep doing it. I'm so used to it now that it feels weird when I'm in someone's car who doesn't or like who does have a muffler I'm like this is weirdly quiet well how do you like to hear yourself you hear yourself wait you can hear your blinker well you can have

that you can have the music on and drive and still hear someone you're not rattling through this you're not losing your hearing at the age of 28 Yeah, I feel bad anytime someone gets in my car that it's like an insecurity Already now yeah, we're if someone new gets in my car every time they get I go welcome to the race car You should just when you're driving it just fuck make shit up about how you've like modded it Well, here's the thing it originally was modded just when it was bought Which is even worse now is the new engine not modded at all Sounds slightly quieter. That's it

There used to be a blow-off valve on the engine So if I went fast enough quick enough and then let off the brake it'll go On the engine so if I went fast enough quick enough and then let off the brake it'll go Like an actual streetcar that's sweet. It was sick when I was 22 I'd say just keep saying it's modded just keep saying that shits what you're doing doing to it Okay, I street race in my free time just like yeah, I actually forgot to hook up the nitrous hose That's why it sounds like this the nitrous is just going at all times When I peel off when I first started do you do it for family though for what? I forgot to hook up the nitrous hose. That's why it sounds like this. The nitrous is just going at all times. Chew! Peel off.

When I first started driving. Do you do it for family though? For what? The mod. The mod? When I first started. Sorry. Fucking shit.

It's for family. Family. When I first started. Let's all drink our canned beer like the Neasel. I noticed a month when I got that car that there was an eco mode on it and I genuinely for 30 seconds thought oh This will make it quiet

The guys like you'll get better gas mileage with that on I'm like I have you heard this car There's no way it makes a difference actually great gas mileage great gas mileage with that car That's a good win then for the home team. It is great. Should we end this we should sure we get there. Yeah So next week I will have a new car. I have one more thing. Yeah, I tell you about my I got this sweet sweet flannel right From game day sports bar. Okay I got this because my wife's dad came and visited and he likes to give her gifts and he doesn't want me to feel left Out so I'm sure he realized that he was bringing gifts for her was that game day sports

But this for me and then he realized that I have one shirt and she had multiple gifts so what he did was went out to his car and Found what this is typically how it goes he just finds whatever he has in his car or in his pockets and I had four coupons for a free Big Mac and McDonald's and I was like, you know what this if I forget to pack launch Or I'm running late. I need to grab something cool. And so like Monday last week or Tuesday last week. I go, okay, I'm gonna go get a Big Mac I'm not gonna I don't have time to run home and get my lunch and

As I'm pulling into the McDonald's drive-thru and they asked me if I'm using the app I look at the back of the coupon and I can only use it in little chute And I said no, I'm not using the app the coupon and I can only use it in little shoot. And I said, no, I'm not using the app. Fuck you. And I drove away. I was like, damn it, he got me again. That's good. That's just a good little complaint I have to have. But I like the sweatshirt, I like the shirt, and I'll probably just give those coupons to whoever's going up to Appleton next.

I think Rachel asked me to say this. The hurricane's been pretty been pretty bad by her, and obviously in Florida. Her college town, Boone, got absolutely destroyed. So she wants us to ask people to go volunteer and donate to West North Carolina. Basically the Boone area, the mountain area, it's pretty bad.

So much so that the kids They've cancelled all classes for like into next week Like they're like imagine your like favorite place in college And it just completely destroyed And so she said all the seniors that are in school Started in covid too. So they started online and now they're ending online and that's just gotta be miserable. I think we all had amazing college experiences.

We know you got into some trouble. I'm surprised you're not in jail. But if you can, do stuff to help someone out. That would be wonderful. All right. Go ahead. Stay safe out there. But now I feel like a dick for complaining about coupons.

I was actually. But now I feel like a dick for complaining about coupons.