Fat Chance Podcast - The Bald Mt. Rushmore and Blind Beer Taste Test Ep.129

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Can the boys put their beer drinking experience to the test? Who is on your Mt. Rushmore of Bald Men? SPONSORED BY: Booze Better Supplements: Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)

Definitely not a bowling company. Well, you can do PR for them. I could do PR. We should not do PR for them. If you were to do PR for them, what would you say? Whoops. Sorry. Just a blue screen that says whoops. Whoops. Or like, have you tried restarting your computer?

That usually works for us. You can turn it on and off. Superior Access. What's different between this access and, like, a normal access? Well, because this is a superior light beer. So that's why it's Superior Access. Ah. There's no way that the athletes drink Michelob Ultra.

No, but I think... I bet they do. It's the lightest of the beers. It's by five calories, and it's... Not even. I think, if you look at Busch Light, I think Busch Light has, like, less than 100. Yeah, but athletes don't want to carry around cans that look like corn. Unless you go to Nebraska.

Huskers, baby! I don't think they have the corn can where in Paris right now. I bet you it's just... I bet you they don't even have bush lights. It's much of Stella. They have mechlob. That was my French accent.

They have what? I was trying to say it, and then as I was going, I was wrong. If you just mumble at the end? Mechlob. You got to say croissant. It's like when you want to get to an Asian accent, just say croissant and oui, oui. Croissant, oui, oui. Miquelois.

Oh, souci aigua, souci aigua. I think baguette. Is that another one? Yes. Say baguette in a French dialect. Oh, baguette is that is that another one yes say baguette in a french sounds like a concentrated luigi comes from the end of the world end of the world uh ebalms video remember that i have no clue how old are you oh let me lay tired well then take a nap but then fire the missiles you never seen that oh Wait, is it like a cartoon sketch thing? Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Oh, there's a world all around and shit. It's a good video. I think you've seen it. You've all seen it. That's circulated in middle school. There's someone on the internet that's fucking loving this right now. Is it comparable to shoes?

It predates shoes. It predates shoes? Wait, what shoes? Do you remember shoes? Let's get some shoes. The guy that dressed up like a girl was like, these shoes rule. These shoes suck.

He just kept calling people. Oh, your shoes are too big. I don't think they're going to fit. She was like, fuck you! No, but this was in the heyday of those videos, like the YouTube skits and whatnot. Those were incredible. Charlie bit my, the viral videos,

like the Charlie bit my finger, or the, what's the magical horse one? Charlie the Unicorn. Charlie the Unicorn, yeah. That one was a fun one. Or, what's it? Why am I blanking out? What's the frog one?

He's locked in the drinking out of cups. Oh, yeah. Drinking out of cups. That will resurface once every two years in my friend group, and I will not stop saying 5, 6, 4, 3. Yeah, right. Just a walkway. Lead me to the building.

I said it the other day. I was like, not my turn, not my problem. That's what I always That's not how we say No way No way Get real Seahorse Seahell Fuck you

Yeah that's That's a good one Also There was one that I used to watch I don't know if anyone else watched it But it was Llama with Llamas with hats Yeah I think I've seen it

I think I've seen that Carl And anyone that had Carl I would yell I would yell it like that Oh yeah It got me kicked out of a far one. My tummy had rumblings that only hands could satisfy.

It's such a good one. Well, where are the lifeboats? Well, projecting from the moon and the sun, they're at the bottom of the ocean because I bit lots of holes in them. That's so funny. It's so stupid. I loved that humor, though.

That was fun. That's when you're watching, like, babies mispronouncing words. Like, say fire truck. Fire fuck. Yeah. That was, like, peak internet. It was peak internet.

And now look at us. Now it's us. Crazy. Now it's completely different. But how people, like, how kids get the internet is even crazier. I mean, they get it from everywhere. Yeah, it is everywhere.

I remember like the first time a computer was, like there was a computer room, and I'd go up in the computer room, and I always had the door open because they were worried I was going to start searching boobies. And I did. Boobs.com. And you're like, wow, this is crazy.

And it was just like YouTube, and you just search funny videos in the search bar. You didn't know what you were doing. And now it's like you can find everything really quickly. Oh, the minute you turn your phone on, you're getting a notification for check this YouTube video out. I mean, I have an intern that also like want the intern to learn skills for because they have another year in in graphic design stuff and i'm teaching them about you know the ways and i'm like well our company has certain things we do and then you things that you're not going to get taught in the classroom and then she was was like, I don't want to do this. And I was like, ah, just YouTube it.

Just YouTube it. There is a video for everything. And you'll figure out how to do it. And that's the way the world works. That's why this thing is able to go up. I had to Google everything, YouTube everything. And it's every specific problem. Like, there's the meme.

It's like, there's no way someone ever had this exact problem I did. And it's like, Redditor from 2004 with the exact same issue. And you'll find it. There's an answer to everything. Well, I hate the Reddits when you find it and they don't have an answer. And you see it's been eight years. And I was like, I hope that person's okay. So they're just bullying him.

Like, how do you not know? There's a car on me right now. How do I move it? No one has answered eight years but then i like seeing the comments that are like six years after that i'd be like you good man you got it you got it thanks for checking in we're like crazy uh but also like they're like crazy microsoft thing that just happened with everyone was stuck at the airport. That's insane. It's CrowdStrike. I get ads for them looking for people to apply for their job.

Well, there has to be someone who got fired. Someone got fired. I think a lot of someone's got fired. They're like, we need help. We need someone that can at least... But there's still outages right now, aren't there? Oh, yeah. Probably.

Airplanes are still down. I got a flight early August. They better figure it out. They probably won't. I'm going to tell you right now, aren't there? Oh, yeah. Probably. Airplanes are still down. I got a flight early August. They better figure it out. They probably won't. I'm going to tell you right now, flights are back. I live by the airport and I saw a few flying in today. Was it Southwest? I think it was United that was... Because I heard Southwest was the one that... Yeah, United was too. Oh, okay.

Delta, I heard. Delta's down. Delta's down. Delta's always down. Is United up? I think United's up. I think United and Southwest are up. Southwest, so-so? I think they're up. Yeah, they're all right. But I think that I heard a reason why they're not down is because they didn't update.

What a thing to do. They didn't update their internet. That's what my dad does with his iPhone. He's never going to update it. I heard they didn't get new programs, he's like so old that it didn't get wait that's the reason they're not down that's what they're thinking yeah i was gonna say because yeah the issue is they all tried to update yeah i updated my computer's fucked i'm gonna be honest when i first saw really not from this it's just like the new up microsoft update just sucks ass

team apple yeah i'm not a huge fan of it but i when i first like when i because i'm looking for Just like the new Microsoft update just sucks ass. Team Apple. I'm not a huge fan of it. But when I first, because I'm looking for jobs right now, I saw CrowdStrike. And I was like, oh, I honestly thought it was a bowling company. Definitely not. Like a bowling company that does events. I thought it was like some weird thing about the airlines. I was like, all right.

Dabble in a bunch of shit. but I thought it was a bowling company. I go, oh, you could do the content stuff for this. Definitely not a bowling company. Well, you can do PR for them. We should not do PR for them. If you were to do PR for them, what would you say? Whoops. Sorry.

Just a blue screen that says whoops. Whoops. Or like, have you tried restarting your computer that usually works on and off like the old that's that's crazy to me that that's still one the number one most effective way to get your computer start working again yeah also the number one thing they suggest like have you tried or no they start with is it on yes and like have you tried turning it off and then back on like i'll kill you it's amazing that that's what is like you're calling someone their job is to tell you to go like hey turn the lights off turn them back on well the thing is is like we if something's not working typically we turn it off and turn it back on. Yeah. That's a thing we do.

But if my grandmother had an issue with her computer, actually, no, I would go as far as to say this. If my mother had an issue with her computer, she would call me and say there's someone hacking into her computer as opposed to turning it on and off. Yeah. We're like plugging it back in. Yeah. That's the thing. We're all tech savvy enough.

I guarantee you if you're calling an IT thing, 40 to 50% of them just need to be turned on and off. Yeah, it has to be. But, okay, how much are you guys buying the like, all right, we grew up with it. We know it more. It's like, yes, I agree with this argument from our parents. Like, can you do this for me? It's like, yes, I agree with this argument from our parents. Like, can you do this for me?

It's like, why? Like, you've had it as long as I have had it. You also got it when your brain was mature. You should have understood it quicker than I did. Yes, like we grew up with it and we're probably, it's like learning a language when you're 30 versus like growing up with it. You're going to be more fluent in it. That's what I think it is. But I'm like, dude, some of the things.'s like can you can you set my tv up for me it's like

it's literally just plug it into the fucking wall i think it's scary for them so they don't want to try it and that drives me nuts so think about this if you're trying to build something and you have a handyman right there you know instead of me going at it you're like hey could you build this for me you know i could probably do it if i put my mind to it okay then we go but but that's their their base their base is oh he's right here he can help me do that okay then how many times when you were growing up did you ask your parents for help and they're like have you tried doing it yourself yet you're never gonna learn if you don't try it yourself why don't we start throwing that back at our parents like hey if you don't try turning the tv on and off i'm not always gonna be here to do it my parents call me and tell me what's wrong with their phone while they're on their phone and i'm not even in the same

county as them and they're like can i do this i was like i need to see your phone i don't know what message you just got. FaceTime me. What's that? They'll flip the camera around. That's the most annoying thing. You have to flip it so I can see what you're seeing. You need to flip the camera, and then they just go like this. It's at the fucking ceiling. You're like, mom, fuck this.

Yeah, that's brutal. Yeah, I've tried to help my grandparents set up their Roomba so many times via FaceTime. I taught my dad what Bluetooth was two years ago. And has he handled it pretty well? That's pretty late. Can we agree on that one? Yeah, because I feel like your dad, right wing, would know. Conspiracy theorist.

Would always have one of those Bluetooth pieces in his ear at all times. No, he had the dad clip. He had the dad clip, and he refused to get a new phone. I used to be like, hey, that phone's going in the Alexander Graham Bell Museum. It was like one of those sausage phones. Oh, yeah. I'm like, he just – you know where the numbers are because they're all worn off and whatnot. But I taught him Bluetooth, and I remember giving it to him.

I'm like, all right, you're connected to the speaker. And he goes – and it'll just play in the speaker. I go, yes. Yep. And then I'm like, all right you're connected to the speaker and he goes and it'll just play in the speaker i go yes yep and then i'm like all right pick a song and then i watched i was like all right i'm proud of him he's figuring out and then i watched him go on his phone go to safari go www.youtube.com i was like all right fuck i can't teach you apps now too yeah that's too much for one day the amount of times i've had to explain uh like bluetooth like connections to my like grandparents because they have this like little one day. The amount of times I've had to explain Bluetooth connections to my grandparents because they have this little Bluetooth speaker. And the amount of times they're like, it's not working.

And I literally plug it in. And then he goes, do-do-do-do. And they go, oh, thank God you're here. It's so funny. Yeah, I taught my mom Pandora. Remember when everyone listened to Pandora many years ago? I taught her that, and now I'm afraid to get her on any other one because she so much loves Pandora.

Well, the next step is you get her on Spotify. No. No, that's the next step, but with the ads because that's where my dad's at. He's graduated to Spotifyify and he's uh liked well we've liked our playlists that everyone in the family's created he just listens to my giant country one and i'll golf with him and he'll put music on like dude it's like ten dollars a month to get rid of these ads i'll pay for it i'm sick of hearing about whatever in the middle of the golf and then he

doesn't know how to skip either so it'll be like the saddest slowest first dance country song you could ever think of i'm like dude this is a whole two we're with a bunch we're having the greatest time of our life in this feels yeah and it's just like uh my brother's dead my truck dad i'm like oh fuck me. Yeah. No, I think keeping around Pandora is probably the safe move, though. Is Pandora really still a thing? Yeah. And the best part is you don't have choices.

No. You just click a station. Or a radio, yeah. And it comes on, comes on, and they deal with it. It's basically radio without people talking in between songs. It's great. Yeah. And that's what they want. I love the comedy.

I was on a comedy kick for the Pandora in college, and that's what I would, like, walk to class to, is just listen to comedy bits, which was nice because, like, it forces you to listen to people you probably would never click on in YouTube. Now we're like, I don't like the way he looks. Fuck this. Or, like, the title of the joke.

And you actually have to listen to it. I'm like, it was great. I loved it. I used to love getting in the car because when you ever buy a new car, and you get, like listen to it. I'm like, it was great. I loved it. I used to love getting in the car because when you ever buy a new car and you get like Sirius XM, my grandparents would always play that and that was like probably one of the best times ever

because there would be like a really raunchy joke and I saw Grandpa Rudy lose his shit. Oh, seeing your parents laugh at something that's dirty. You're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. I love running. I've run bits by my dad before about like blind people or mexicans or like amputees yeah and he loses his fucking mind and i'm like this is great like at the end of the day i'm making him laugh like i'm good i i mean my parents yeah they don't like anything dirty so i when i when they're at comedy shows it's like,

I know who also is on the list, and I just wish they would go to the bathroom for about 10 minutes. My parents have never seen me do stand-up. My mom saw me do it once. It was on that Callan show, and she was shit-canned. We day-drank all day. I wasn't thinking I was going to go up

and then I got like a text like 20 minutes before the show started and Jake was like, all right, you can go. And I was like, oh shit.

So we went there. My mom was shit canned in the back of the room and I like make some jokes about her and as we're like leaving because we didn't want to stay for the whole show

as we're leaving, she's like tapping people on the shoulder and she's going, I swear I'm not that bad and i was like mom you need to get out and then they probably don't even know she's your father they don't they have no they were watching the show and all of a sudden someone tapped on the show that i'm not that bad and you're like okay yeah how was the show it was great and then some

old lady just kept saying she's not that bad. The shows, the show, we go to dinner and we come back down. Cause I was going to go like talk to the managers and my mom's talking to Callen and his two opening acts that he brought with them. Like, so like, you know,

Jack and like, well, I'm like not talking to her. Like my wife went somewhere else, like wasn't watching her. And like, my mom's like talking to them. Like, Oh my gosh. wasn't watching her. And my mom's talking to them. Like, oh my gosh, what do you guys think about Jack?

You guys are so nice. And one of the guys came up to me. He's like, yo, you got to get your mom. And I go, why? He goes, she thinks we're all buddies. We're covering for you hard. But I think you might want to get her in the car. And I was like, OK, thanks, guys.

I'm out of here. That's cool by them. Yeah, they're like, like Yeah he's a great guy Like he did really good today Like none of them Fucking watched it They could've been like We don't know

Who the fuck your son is Yeah like There's no Like Cal was up Eating like tacos At Bel Air While I was there So like he didn't

See me do anything And he was still like Yeah it was good Like Yeah That's so So embarrassing I got in the car

I was like Mom You're never going To that show again I'm also never Invited back Yeah Fuck mom It's so funny Oh yeah So embarrassing. I got in the car. I was like, Mom, you're never going to that show again. I've also never invited back. Fuck, Mom.

It's so funny. Do you guys want to play the game? I do. I feel like I'm going to finish this first. I like that idea, too. So today we're going to do a blind taste test. Well, hold on. Let's do our plug for the outing and the sponsors real quick. Oh, yeah.

Come to the fucking golf outing. Drink. Drink what? Booze better. And then come back to the the outing and the sponsors real quick. Oh, yeah. Come to the fucking golf outing. Drink. Drink what? Booze better. There you go. And then come back to the golf outing. August 24th. Boom.

There you go. Deer track. Our newest sponsor, the Milwaukee Improv. Woo! Perfect segue. They are our newest championship level sponsor. They will be at our heckle hole this year. Which is going to be a lot of fun hole this year. That's exciting. Which will be a lot of fun.

Very fun. That's very nice. We just locked in three of the four comedians. Three. Same as last year. Rich, Demore, Madison's funniest comic this year,

the number one winner, not runner-up, the number one winner, AJ Grohl, Eric Smith, and tentatively, Regan Nimela. Oh, she's tentative. AJ Grohl, Eric Smith, and tentatively Regan Nimela. Oh, she's tentative.

She was tentative last year, too. Yeah, she tentatively didn't show up last year. Also, the other three showed up late last year, too. Actually, no, Rich was on time. Rich was on time. Always a professional, that guy. AJ and Eric. That's why he was Madison's funniest.

I get a call. When we tee off, 8 a.m. last year, I get a call at 7.55 off, 8 a.m. last year, I get a call at 755 from AJ. It goes like this. We're leaving now. Wedding. I was like, okay, cool. See you soon.

But thankfully, it starts at 10 a.m. this year. You can sleep in a little bit. You can get really fucked up the night before and make it on time. Yeah, even to my friends that are in the Ringelberg wedding, those of you who aren't in the party, show the fuck up, okay? No one wants to see you the day after unless you're in the party. You're not that important at the wedding. You'll be important at the outing, though.

Be nice to the Ringelberg wedding. No, I'm here for the wedding. Is Jack getting married? Oh, his twin brother's getting married August 23rd, and then Jack is getting married New Year's Eve this year. Congratulations, Jack. Congratulations, Mr. Engelberg. Getting married on New Year's Eve.

Good for you, Jack. All right. Now we can do this. Just making everyone come to your wedding because they didn't want any other plans on New Year's Eve. I like the New Year's Eve wedding because who has plans on New Year's? A lot of people do. Everyone has plans on New Year's. I don't have plans on New Year's.

I never had plans on New Year's. I think I've had plans on New Year's once. When I have plans on New Year's, it's on New Year's. I make the plans. What are you going to do? And then we just end up at a bar. You go pay a cover for a shitty bar. It's so dumb.

It's packed. Ubers are super expensive. You know what I like to do? I like to get drunk at home and play with my dogs and watch my wife get drunk. And then we go to bed at 10 o'clock. Do you want to come to the Ringelberg wedding? I'm not crashing the Ringelberg wedding. I get a plus one.

You just have to battle Rachel. I'm just kidding, Rachel. You are definitely coming. Do not kill me. I'd kick her ass, dude. Rachel, if we fought to the death, I would definitely be the plus one. Go ahead. Are you ready for this?

I've had two New Year's Day weddings. That's stupid. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that wild? Imagine that. Reversal dinner with the ball dropping in the background. Nothing's going to beat that. You're like, we get married tomorrow.

I was like, who gives a shit? Did you see Jackie? It sparklers out of his ass last night. But everyone's hungover. The pictures are just like your buddy's throwing up in the woods. Not if you had booze better, though. We need to move on. I used booze better last weekend. Did you?

Yep. The lady was gone, and a buddy came. And we went to the bars to meet up with another friend of ours. And I typically don't go downtown to a party like that, but we stayed up until like 4 o'clock in the morning. And I was like, I'm going to need this booze better. Did it. Woke up the next day.

Felt so good. Yeah. That's what I was telling you. That's why it's missing because I actually used it. That's what I was telling Judd last week. It's not here anymore. Tusky, put it in post. Yeah.

No. They're sending us a plethora for the outing. Oh, sweet. So you guys are going to get a little taste test. That would be great. I'd love that. That would be wonderful. All right.

All right. We're going to set this up. So basically, if you've ever seen a blind taste test, we're be great. I'd love that. It's going to be wonderful. All right. All right. We're going to set this up. So basically, if you've ever seen a blind taste test, we're going to do it with water first, and then we're going to see how good we are at naming our beers. If we think that we are good at beers, Jack, do you think you're good at finding out which beer is which? I think I can find, I think I can do three out of the five pretty well. Three out of five?

I think the other two are going to be a toss-up, but if I narrow it down, I'll be able to do it. Kuski, do you think that you can get all five? No, I think I'm going to get two. I think the... I don't want to say which one's going to be the easiest because then I'll get it wrong. Yeah, I don't want to say it.

I think you all kind of know. You all need to get which one's going to be the easiest because then i'll get it wrong uh yeah i don't want to say yeah y'all kind of know yeah you get that one right but you did a good job picking ones that are pretty similar in taste so um we'll cut to the game now okay all right so we're gonna do a blind taste test with water right now jack uh when's the last time you had water today good so he's fresh in his mind water um so we have smart water dasani fiji uh aquafina tap water question yeah am i allowed to not say what i think it is until i have a couple? Yeah, sure. That's fine. You can say it's one and then go back and change it if you want. Yeah, okay. In the interest of time,

we'll go fast. Don't take your fucking time. Here's number one. A little sip. I should block the nose, too. Oh, he's taking a second drink. He's taking a second drink.

It's Fiji. Okay, moving on. They have some different textures to them. There's a little disconcerting. He's licking his lips. There's one that's going to be so easy. Smart water.

Smart water, okay. Fiji smart water. Fiji smart water, okay. This might just rock my whole world. It's tap. Why do you know it's tap? It's warm. Yeah, exactly.

That might be the free space. Here's number three. Here's number three. What is that? I put my pouch on my tongue. Oh, okay. So far you've gone. This is Aquafina. Aquafina, okay.

And we've got the last one. Last one for you. So we have Fiji Smart Water Water, Tap, Aquafina. This would be Dasani, but I don't know. They all taste the goddamn same. I think this is Aquafina and the other one is Dasani. All right, so it goes Fiji, Smart Water, Tap, Dasani, Aquafina. Okay.

Reveal. Jack, you got one correct. You got two correct. You got two correct. There they are. Wow, I gave Dasani Smart Water. That makes sense. Wow. Okay, so I did know for sure.

Oh, I gave fucking Fiji Dasani. Yeah, that's rough. No. All right that's rough. No. All right. All right. Michael and Jack, switch places. Now I taste it. Now I taste it.

All right, Michael and Jack, switch places. You killed Batman. Now how fun is it? You pull that down in your nose, you cheater. I'm going to. I need to just sit. Okay. You're a pumpkin.

All right. We're going to move stuff around. Hang on. Can I get a microphone? Just moving things over here. Where the hell did your microphone go? Here it is. Just give me yours.

That's going to be so difficult for you to edit. When I edit these, it all just goes into one file. Then why do you have all these microphones? Well, the sound goes into one file. I can hear. That one's Dazani. That's racist. Do your eyeballs get itchy?

No, I close my eyes during it because I'm not trying to cheat. You can't see shit here. This feels like a ransom video. Really? You bring the cup up to your nose? You can't see a little bit from that little nook and cranny right there? Close your eyes, you cheater. It does feel like a ransom video because you just see the blinding lights in front of you.

Like, Mom? You're kind of getting waterboarded, too. Yeah. We're in a new order. Kuski, when's the last time you had water? Today. Okay, good. My go-to water is the Bubla at work, the refill your water bottle thing.

Fun fact, I don't think that water filter has ever been changed. Well, maybe you should get on that. Isn't that your job? Yeah. No, because, okay, what's your take? There is no, like, most of them have, like, the water filter sign, right? Yeah. Like, oh, green, good, yellow, eh, red,

third world country kind of thing. There is no sign there. It's just, like, maybe it's, you know, always okay. The water's clear. I would speak to a manager. So here's your first one. It's not tap. Check.

Okay. First one. Do you want to guess what it is? It's either Fiji or Dazami. Okay. Second. Tap. Okay. Ooh. Tap. Okay.

Ooh, that's tough, dude. Here's number three. This feels intelligent. I would say so. Smart water. Smart water? Okay. Here's number four.

Oh, this tastes like nothing. All of them do. None of them are flavored. Fiji. Okay. And last one. Oh, fuck. That could be Smartwater.

This one's Fiji. The last one was Aquafina. Okay. That would mean Dazani was the first one. Okay. Smartwater was third. Tapafina. Okay. That would mean Dasani was the first one. Okay. Smartwater was third. Tap was second. Okay.

I'm going to tell you right now, you have one correct, and you can open your... I didn't get any of them. You almost had all of them correct. Yeah, you almost, and then you switched the order, right? Yeah, you had Dasani or Fiji, Tap, Aquafina. Didn't I say Dasani was the first one? Yes. But then you switched it. No, I didn't. No, you had these two right. I had those two or Fiji, tap, Aquafina. Didn't I say Dasani was the first one? Yes. But then you switched it. No, I didn't.

No, you had these two right. I had those two right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But then you had all of these right. And then you switched it. And then you were about to switch, oh, this is Fiji. And then you went, this is, no, did he say this was Dasani?

Yeah. He only got the tap right. Yeah. You did do that, I think. You only got the tap right. Did I you did do that, I think. You only got the tap right. Did I? Yeah. You were almost five for five.

You were so close. This has a very distinct taste, and apparently tastes like Aquafina. It's crazy how that turns out. All right, one left. The thing about this blindfold is you also only see the lights, and it kind of looks like a jack-o'-lantern. Yeah, that's what it is. You feel really spooky.

This one here? Yeah. Okay. No, I would switch it again, yeah. This one here. All right, are you ready? I am ready. Which way do you want to go? Right to left or left to right? are you ready? I am ready. Which way do you want to go?

Right to left or left to right? What the fuck? Why are we changing? Why are we changing? Just go left to right. This feels so weird over here. That angle? I feel like I can see the whole place.

Yeah. This is way nicer than my seat. I know. Your face really sucks. Yeah, yeah. I don't like this. I know. And I'm way out of camera.

I am too tall for your camera. The good thing is it's only going to be on him. Okay. All right. Grab the cup. Okay. Why are you doing that with your tongue? That's just tap water.

Okay. What do you mean? You just saw yourself. I'll do my impression of Jack. Bring me water. Well, this is tap water. I've warmed that one between my legs. Yeah.

All right. So put that down. Give me the last one again. No. Give me the last one. my legs. Yeah. All right, so put that down. Give me the last one again. No. Give me the last one. Just for two seconds. Dasani. Definitive.

She's just giving me a tad more problems. What do you think? Smart water Fuck I think I got that one wrong I think that's Fiji You want the same one back? Nope Okay

Stop giving him all these extra chances Oh my Well you never asked No because I am quick and to the point getting all of them wrong. Oh, yeah, because you're really going to snip this up. I'm going to have to. This is going to be an hour and a half. This is smart water.

Last one was Fiji. Okay. Aquafina. All right. Final answer? Yes. Cool. You got the same one.

Yeah. Because you got. The exact same order. Oh, you dumb son of a bitch. You guys both knew Dasani. Yeah. And I knew Aquafina. Das. You guys both knew Dasani. Yeah. And I knew Awkwafina. Dasani has such a good plastic taste. It's crazy that we've been confusing it with Fiji, though.

You did the same thing. Yeah. Let's switch back. This is uncomfortable. Okay. Switch back. All right. We're going to do the beer one now, right?

Yeah. Now we're going to do something that's even more in our wheelhouse. First of all, we have to drink all these waters. What's water? What is the surprising one? Honestly, Fiji, I think. I thought Fiji was going to have a better taste. Actually, Fiji probably had the most normal taste.

I'm like, oh, this tastes like nothing, didn't it? You must really like smart water. My house is a drinkable. Oh, here. Oh, here. Drinkable. You don't want this guy's socks? Well hydrated means he sweats very easily.

Is that true? Yeah. You have a lot of liquid in you. It's got to come out. I'm not a big sweater. Neither am I. Actually, I've started to sweat a lot more as I've gotten older. You look like you're sweating drinking that water, though.

The water's dripping down my face. This will pour out. By the way, this, great for audio. Real good. Just like that time we had the hot one challenge. Oh, yeah, that's right. I think that was the start of our demise. All right, and now the beer one, I guess.

Hey, Jack, when is the last time you've had beer? Today. All right, perfect. So he is set for... All right, Jack, we're going to do the first one. Out of the five beers. I don't know if this is going to be easier or harder than the water. Him just ripped through these.

I'm going to have to pee. I'm going to be well hydrated after this. You know we have to drink all these beers now. That's Miller Lite. Miller Lite, okay. First one, Miller Lite. Here's the next one. Oh, fuck. So, okay, now we can,

like, let's all admit, which one do we think is going to be the easiest to find? I think it's going to be Miller. I hope. Well, I think Miller would be the easiest to find. I'll tell you what I think after. Well, no. We'll say this is High Life. Okay. Just because that had more flavor than the last one.

All right. So we have Miller and Miller High Life? Correct. We have Miller Light, Miller High Life. Correct. We have Miller Lite, Miller High Life. This is Miller Lite. Okay. That's Miller Lite. So what is the first one?

The first one is... Do you need a list of all the beers again? No. Do you want to drink it again? No. Yeah, I do. Okay. First one again?

He just perfectly reached for it I was like I don't want to knock anything over Fudge That's Bush Okay So now we're on our fourth This is high life So now we're on our fourth. This is High Life.

Okay. The second one is Coors. The second one is Coors. Okay. And then fifth. This one will be Bud Light. Fuck. This might be High Life. I'm just like, everyone is like, that tastes way more beer than I'm used to.

That's way more beer than I'm used to. You're also way more sober trying all these. This is for sure High Life. Can I try the one that said High Life? Okay. So you think, well, you had High Life at two, then you moved High Life to four. So you want the fourth one? Do you want four back, or do you want two back?

I don't even know what I said anymore. All right, so I think right now you have Bush. Coors. Coors. Miller. Miller. Light. High Life.

Bud Light would be your last one. Yeah, can I try the one I said High Life was? Okay. Yeah. This is the one you said High Life Bud Light would be your last one Yeah can I try that one I said High Life was This is when you said High Life was This is fourth right That's Miller Lite Whatever I said Miller Lite is Bud Light Okay

So that's Miller Lite So then the last one Is High Life No no no High Life. It's High Life. No, no, no. High Life. Bud Light. Okay. Okay.

So. I'm going to stick with my gut, and I'm nervous. Jack, you have two right. Okay. Can I switch two? No. I just want to see if I got it. Yeah, go for it.

That one's. Fuck, I don't remember. Let me just do it. Oh! You almost had these right. You had almost five in a row. It was unreal. Fuck! that one's fuck I don't remember let me just do it oh you almost had these right you had almost five in a row

it was unreal fuck you you started off you said Bush High Life Miller Lite

and I'm like oh my god he might fucking do it and then you tried the course like that's High Life switch it around you technically got three because you got Bud Light

by process of elimination yes or no you switched that to yeah yeah Miller you got Miller Light by process of elimination. Yes. Or no, you switched that to Miller. Yeah. You got Miller Light and Bush. Yeah. Fuck. I really thought I had it. You did so good.

You were doing good. I mean, you ended up doing terrible. You're getting your head down. This is like second guessing on a test. Trust your gut. Oh, I should have trusted my gut. Can I go again? My turn, baby. How's the podcast? Oh, we fed Jack a million beers. Jack, I yelled that.

Shit. Michael, when is the last time you had a beer? About 15 minutes ago. All right, so he is ready to go. Here is your first beer out of the five beers. What's on my lap? That's my hat. I have to go away.

Now it's Batman doing the splits. Oh, shit. He lost a shoulder guard. I'm not reaching down there, but you better fix that. What is your first beer? Bush. Bush. Okay.

Second beer. Second beer. That's what I thought. I don't even like beer. I hate beer. I'm more of a rosé guy. That's tough. I'm going to say Coors.

Coors. Which is not good. I made that face. I like Coors. We have Bush and Coors. It's weird because when you see the can when you drink it, it does make it taste different. Yeah. Bud Light.

Bud Light. Okay. Fourth one. This is Bush. Okay. this is bush okay so what was number one i don't know highlight wait what did i say already you've said so far well i want to lock in bud light and bush okay so so right you went bush, High Life, and now this is also Bush. I said Bud Light, then Bush. Oh, you said Bush. Yeah.

Bud Light, Bush. And so then I have Coors and High Life. Let me see if this is Miller, the last one. That's not the last one. This was number four. This is number four, the one that you said is. How many have I had? This was number four. This is number four. That one that you said is. How many have I had? This is the fourth.

This is four. This is the one that you said. Is Coors. You said this one was Bush. Am I retrying one? Yeah. This is four. Oh, give me the fifth one.

I want to see if the fifth one is Miller. Okay. Fifth one. You should ask nicely next time. God damn it. That's the problem. You get ask nicely next time. God damn it. That's the problem. You get to the end and you're like, ah, that sounds very eerily similar to the last one. You just peaked, you peeker.

I'm not. My eyes are closed now. Good man. High Life. Okay. And then I locked in Bud Light Bush. So I have Coors and Miller left, correct, on the one and two? Yep.

Can I try one again? Give them one again, Jack. I have Miller and Coors, correct? No, you said Coors. He got Bud Light Bush locked in. Okay. And then he went High Life here. Okay.

Okay, give me that one, please. Very nice. He went Coors here, right? Yeah. Coors here. He went Coors there. So these two are between. We need to write things down.

Coors, Miller, Bud Light, Bush, High Life. Okay. For all as nonchalant as that is, you did pretty damn good. Look at yourself. Did I get these two wrong? Yeah. You got the last two wrong. Three out of five.

Good for you. I know. I said Bud Light, Bush, High Life. Yes, I needed to. Two? Okay. You got those three wrong. You got the last two wrong. Three out of five. Good for you. No, because this was... I know. I said Bud Light Bush High Life. Yes. I needed to. Two? Okay. Yes, I got two.

Damn. I went good in going back, though. Going back, you came back and fixed it. It's not bad. All right. I'm ready. Wait. When's the last time you had a beer, Judd?

Oh, I had a beer at 10 minutes. That's fucking bad. Okay. I think he was going to say breakfast. I enjoyed it. You looked so much like him when you did that. This is Bud Light. Okay.

Good guess. Is that reverse psychology, though? Was it actually a bad guess, or was it reverse, reverse psychology? Second one. Second one, please. I'm going all the way to the right. You know what I'm trying to do? I'm trying to think of a wedding.

What's the cake? You know? Because that's the only way I don't see the can. What's the can? I honestly was picturing myself at an open mic drinking Miller High Life. Yeah. What do I remember? Usually bombing, but.

I'm not sad right now. So this one is Miller then. Okay. Miller High Life or Light? Miller Light. Just Miller Light. So Bud Light, Miller Light. Miller Light.

I'm going to remember the order of these, and then you focus on that part. What part? The part that's not remembering. Everything else that kind of goes into this lightsaber action, I have to think heavily about this. Bud Light Miller. Bud Light Miller. He's going to change his answers. I know, and that's why I don't fucking talk.

We have to focus. This has got to be shit. This is high life. Okay. Bud Light, Miller Light, High Life. So far, we're two for two on guessing Miller Light. We said that'd be the easiest one.

What is the order? Bud Light, Miller Light, High Life. Keep testing me. I'm thinking in my head too. What is it? It's got to be Coors. Bud Light, Miller Lite, High Life, Coors. Last one.

Bud Light, Miller Lite, Highlight, Coors. You got one left. But is it that, Mr. Judd? Probably not. It could be. I might pull a Jack here and ask for them all over again. Like I did. Yep.

That's how I like to drink beer typically, so that's why I did that. Bud Light, Miller Lite, Highlight, Coors. I'm going to do this one, Bush Light. Okay. And I'm going to be so, so that's why I did that. But I'm more like a high course. I'm going to do this one, Bush Light. Okay. And I'm going to be so pissed because that first one's Bush Light. I'm fucking... Are you locking in? I'm locking in.

Blood Light, Miller Light, High Life, Coors Light, Bush Light. Yes. Go. And you are also two for five. You are the trashiest out of us, though, for sure. You didn't even be like, you know what? I tried them all, and I knew I was wrong. You're like, I'm just sticking with...

You got Miller Lite wrong. You got High Life right, though. And you got Bush Lite. I knew I... Bush Lite, I was like... You're definitely drinking these two the most. I think you're drinking... Yeah.

So those are the two I got right? Yeah. Yeah, that seems about right. How did you do? Hey, 40% still failing? Collectively, we're six out of 50. If you're wondering about the two that were in my fridge already I got right I was wondering why these were so oddly shaped

And that one came in a box Perfect Man that's wild Let's switch back Who wants what beer to finish? Give me this one Take the closest one to you Oh so I have the biggest one Who wants what beer to finish? Take the closest one to you. Oh, so I have the biggest one.

I guess I'll take the... Fuck me. I don't have a problem with this at all. I don't have a problem with you. Oh, you know what I do have a problem with? Not plugging the computer in. Oh, you know what I do have a problem with? Not plugging the computer in. It's almost like it never got poured into the wrong glass.

That was a fun game. That was fun. That really tested us. I think we should do it with vodkas next. Tell you which one I'm not going to like. Tonight. Wait, I only have one type of brandy and one type of vodka. I wonder who makes it. So you have to guess the brand.

I do have a gin in there. So we could guess vodka, brandy, or gin. If we can't figure out the three of those. No, but you'd need someone to just botch it. No, that's vodka, I'm sure. Is this brandy or is this a four-lobe cone?

Give it to me again. So, we did as good on beer as we did water. What does that say? We drink beer like water. We do. There's a lot of water in beer.

It's also, well, I mean, it says what you're, what my taste is. I'd have High Life or Bush. I've had a pretty nasty moment on Miller. Yeah, where I'm like, I had too much of it. I got sick once. Like, I'll never forget that taste.

PBR, I think, would have been the easiest one if you put it in there to get. PBR tastes like the can it came in. Which ones did I get right? Miller and Bush, I believe. Which is surprising because typically Bud Light's my go-to. I got Miller and Coors. And those are my go-to. I thought I was messing up on Bush and Bud Light, but it was Coors.

I'm pissed. I was really hoping you were going to be like, Michael, you killed it. Yeah. I felt so good until I got to the last two, and I was like, that could very progressively be. I felt the best when I was like, Bush Bud Light or Bud Light Bush. I was like, I feel good on that. First three, you felt good. Then second two, you're like.

Yeah, dude. When you started off three for three, me and Jack looked at them and we weren't. No, I didn't start off three for three. Well, I turned into. I did? Yeah. Oh, on the water one. No.

Really? And then you switched it up. Then you started throwing curveballs at me and Jack, and we weren't doing math very well. It's the tough part where, like, the last one is what throws you off. Yeah. Because you're like, damn it, this tastes like all of them mixed together. Just because all of them have been in your mouth already. You're like, ah, this could be every other one.

That's true. They're tasting little remnants of all of it. We should have had palate cleansers. Next time we'll bring ginger. Ginger or something that really makes you like... Pickles. Well, no, there's a canned cocktail we could use. No, we don't have any more.

We got rid of those. I drank them quickly. We should have done the Kid Rock thing. There was only one four-pack left. It still would have been so funny if we got like- Well, we have some boxes laying around. Like giant assault rifles. And we're like, we're going to blow up one can.

That'd be fun. We could go and buy them. Why wouldn't we do that? They're still a failing business. Does not matter. You see they made the news? We're going to have to cut this. They made the news like, this is a Wisconsin thing.

Oh, yeah. Look at this cheese next to our beers. Fucking great. They made the Colbert. Also, the link didn't work. I don't know if anyone clicked it, but it went to a page that said 404 air. Oh, gosh. And we're very surprised.

And we're back. keep that part in yeah keep it oh man you got i do have another game it's probably be quick we can do it that'd be fun i did i did look it up and did this um so i over the weekend, watched Twister. The new one? The new one. It's great. I want to watch it so bad. Why did you watch it? I went to the movies.

I love it. I do, too. But you see all the TikToks. I came to Twister for the plot, and the plot is just Glenn Powell. Dude, he's McDreamy now. I'm not trying to ruin it, but it is everything you want it to be it's like non-stop action like it's never a dull like oh drawn out it's dude it's action action action it's like top of maverick yeah what you want to see yeah yeah yeah it's great um and glenn

paul does what everyone wants to see glenn paul do he has tight t-shirts he's in the rain fucking he's got four arms gives us hope for being like when we're older we might look okay yeah he's probably we need hollywood money he's just a little bit he's not already at least my age he's definitely your age okay but he did look kind of goony though back in the day i've seen things like because he was like he was in spy kids three yeah no. With Machine Gun Kelly. What? Is that true? No, there's a guy that looks just like Machine Gun Kelly. Oh, boy.

That's not true. And it's so funny. That would have been the greatest pull I've ever heard in my entire life. I'll show you a picture. No, what it is is... Elijah Wood. Elijah Wood fucking Frodo's in Spy Kids 3. Spy Kids is a great movie.

The thumbs. You know how many people I look at? There are several images in my head where I think most human races, not human races, there's only one of them, most people are like, you kind of resemble this. I think a lot of females look like poodles, and I think a lot of men look like the thumbs from Spy Kids. Can you go back to that human races, there's only one of them thing?

And we're gonna clip that I didn't want to address it You don't want to address him just saying there's one human race There is one human race We're all in this together All you need is love Hi we're back All you need is love

So I went to Twister And someone asked me To describe what twister was today to my you know they're like oh i've never seen it and they were too young they were like on my team but they were so young they weren't oh my god a little bit oh that kid macaulay colkin um but it was also like they were too young to see the first one so i was like oh you know i was trying to describe them and i was like there's tornadoes and they're like yeah we got that it was twister so i like you know i didn't tell them anything that they wouldn't have got from the name twister there's two of them though so this is leading to

something i want to do and i hope you're about to do it. So this is now terrible plots to a movie, and you have to guess what the movie is. Yes. It's just one sentence, and you have to guess what the movie is, but it's terribly done. This is perfect. Remember when we did this? Yes. This is like we're like angels in the outfield. I'd be like devils in the infield.

Exactly. I got it. But this is perfect because we did a 10-second movie review with our Amazon reviews last week. People loved it. So let's do this. There's like, surprisingly, no wolves. We're like, wolf of wolves.

All right. Here we go. Let's do it. Yep. So I have 12 of them. All right. Man gets steroids and a Frisbee to fight off Nazis. Captain America.

That's true. That's good. Orphan farm boy kisses sister while deadbeat dad tries to join the family business. Star Wars. A group spends nine hours to return jewelry. Lord of the Rings? Yes, Lord of the Rings. Oh, yeah.

Drug-addicted girl takes advantage of mentally challenged boy for three decades. Drug-addicted girl takes... Oh, Forrest Gump. That's true. That's a good one. A man ends world hunger with his rock collection. Avengers. That's so funny.

That's good. That's good. It's a rock collection. Man saves woman from drowning. Woman does not return the favor. Titanic. There you go. Man's wife dies. Or drowning. Woman does not return the favor. Titanic. Sure. There you go.

Man's wife dies. So he tries to get high to cope. Accidentally gets a minor involved. They go on a major trip and end up becoming good friends when they come down. Man's wife dies. They get high, go on a trip. Man's wife dies, get high, go on a trip. Man's wife dies, they get high, go on a trip. Is this where the Millers? No, no, no, because they're going up to space.

Right? Do it again. One more time. Man wife dies. Say that again. You are the worst reader of all time. Man wife dies. Man's wife dies

What am I Oh What are you hearing That's correct That is correct Man crawls through sewer to get to Mexico Oh is this Shawshank Yeah

This is probably my favorite one Rich white man is barely punished for a DUI. Rich white man barely punished for a DUI. I'm blanking on this one. I'll cut it together so we get it right away. Say it again. Rich white man is barely punished for a DUI. Is this a popular movie?

Yes. And you're going to laugh when you hear it. Rich white man is barely punished for a DUI. Hangover? No. I was thinking Wolf of Wall Street, but it's not that. You want me to say it? No.

No. Rich white man is barely punished for a DUI. Give us an actor. I'm thinking Wolf of Wall Street, but it's not that. You want me to say it? No. No. Rich Whitman, Barely Punished for Dying. Give us an actor. What the fuck's his name? What else is he in? The sequels? Fast and Furious? I don't know.

Rich Whitman is very funny. It's one of the Sheen brothers. Oh, Charlie Sheen? Emilio Estevez. Emilio, what the fuck? One of the Sheen brothers. Emilio Estevez. Man wives die.

I don't know. Taxi? You ready for it? Yeah. The Mighty Ducks. Wouldn't have gotten that That's so funny That's so good

Boy gets friend zoned by a tiger No one believes him Life of Pi? Yeah That's Life of Pi Never seen it I've just seen the clips of it It was one movie with a guy and a tiger

Yeah Alright A guy and a tiger. A guy and his imaginary friend take on the finance sector. The Big Short? A guy and his imaginary friend take on the finance sector. It's Fight Club. It's Fight Club. A fox, a bear, and a badger have some serious disagreements the way a wolf and a lion choose to govern the land.

That's Game of Thrones. No. Chronicles of Narnia? The Narnia movies? Say it one more time, please. A fox, a bear, and a badger have some serious disagreements the way a wolf and a lion choose to govern their land. A fox, a bear, and a wolf. Fuck. This is Over the Hedge?

No. Do you remember that movie? I had a birthday party to go see that movie. That's a good birthday party movie. I had the video game, too. It was a great video game. Over the Hedge? I feel like I'm gonna play Fox a bear and a badger

are upset oh the way a wolf runs their property come on feed me it feed me it what is it the Robin Hood it's Robin Hood all right two more a love triangle between an 18 year old a 100 year old man and a dog Twilight I haven't seen any of those either Alright, a bald guy teams up to With another bald guy to fight Another bald guy

Is it Fast and Furious? You went to two bald guys To fight another bald guy Those are the three most famous bald guys, right? Yeah. Who are the top five bald guys? Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis.

About to die. No, he just can't talk very well. Or stand. He can't talk at all. Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's in there. He's in there for top five. Who are the Mount Rushmore bald guys?

Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel. The Rock. Bruce Willis is for sure there. Bruce Willis. Jason Statham. I don't know. But I don't think he's that bald.

But I'm putting Stone Cold in front of Jason Statham. I would too. Really? Yeah. Yeah. The WWE, like, fandom. Yeah, he's way better than Jason Statham. The Beekeeper. Oh, I'm not saying, like, way better than Jason Statham. The Beekeeper?

Oh, I'm not saying... Wild, that's a movie. The fact that you don't say The Transporter is unreal. Who else is bald? We were like, that's a good one. Crank, I've never seen that movie. Jason Statham. So we have Stone Cold. We have Vin Diesel.

Mr. Worldwide. Pitbull. Pitbull has to be up there. No, but when you picture Pitbull, you don't picture bald. When I hear bald, two bald guys, I go, Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Vin Diesel. Yeah, those two are staples. They're the bookends of Mount Rushmore.

And we have two more in the middle and an honorable mention. Fake? Mr. Clean. Every time you see a bald guy. That's a good one. Mr. Clean's on there. Mr. Clean. You think of Mr. Clean.

And Stone Cold. Those are our four. I think Stone Cold might be honorable mention. Honorable mention? Bruce Willis should be on the Mount Rushmore. But I think he's fallen off. Yeah. He's dying, Michael.

He's dying hard. Mr. Clean isn't real. That's why you should go on unruly mention. That's why I think you should go on unruly mention. Okay. Anyone else that's bald? Who are we missing? Who are we missing that's bald?

John Cena's balding, so he might be. Logan Dunn's more. Nope, never mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never mind. Don't keep going. Yep. Yeah.

It was here, and I just, I ate that. I ate that. I was pretty good. That was self-control. We definitely need to talk about that after the pod. Do you want to say something? Yeah. Yeah, we should end this now.

Okay. Bye. Bye. See you bald guys.