Fat Chance Podcast - The Boys of Fall #6

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

The boys play silent library. (Feet and all) Jack's gone and Josh has the Ick Is Judd the Poo Bandit Michael still hasn't moved... (and was definitely still sick) Get your Chewzie TODAY! https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew:Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

Kuski sounds like he just picked up smoking, which is very fun. Yeah. You were sick this past week. Yeah, I, uh... I'm an idiot, like... Yeah, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy. Give me something to say, I got it. Ooh, graham crackers.

Ooh, graham crackers. Go again, go again. Ooh, wet socks. Ooh, wet socks. Ooh, wet socks. Ooh, yeah. That's going to get somebody. That's going to get somebody. Welcome back to Silent Library.

Hi, welcome to Fat Trash Podcast, the AMSAR part of the show. I still hate this lighting. We are running out of locations. We are. Before we get started, I'm surprised you didn't bring this up already. We ran into a peeping Tom two seconds into getting here. Oh yeah, I was waiting until you... Wait a second, what do you mean, peeping Tom? I walked in with the cameras and he stopped us immediately.

I mean, immediately left his station He goes hey gentlemen where might I find a You know something like that He just points at the cameras You mean like a tripod he goes yeah Tripod I got these new binoculars, and I was uh Was trying to see something something up and you know sometimes you just gotta you need a you need a tripod away that we said to each other like yeah okay sir um Cabela's maybe so we had some insane yeah I like

how you guys are like you told them where to look I said Amazon first Man West Alice, that's where we're at right now. It doesn't surprise me How many years since you've been to a library? We know the 90s 90s is probably last time I can recall. Um, oh Man, I went to college. Yeah, probably college. Probably college is library for me. How many times did you go to the library in college? Not very many. Only if I needed to print something, I guess.

Same, same. We had one of the nicest libraries. That's where everyone went to study. I think you can count on one hand how many times I went. Yeah, I didn't like it. Or studied. Yeah. one hand how many times i went yeah i didn't like so i studied yeah i thankfully uh was had a key card to the like a separate lab off of that no one else could go and study in so i was like i'm just

gonna do that so i think of libraries in college i think of one of the most random memories of me just studying in a little cubicle with my headphones on, listening to music, reading my computer screen, and just clicking a highlighter top marker over and over and didn't think it was making any sound. And then I'm, like, looking down. All of a sudden, some chick grabs my hand. Could you stop that? And then I just left after that.

Like, I ran away from her. And he's never been to a library since. There was a – when i was in college i worked for a streets and parks department and i uh the streets and parks streets and parks department parks and rec street sweeper like uh no no i mean there was there was someone who did that but it wasn't how do you get that job? It was my summer job in college. No, the street sweeper. Oh, work for the city.

So I just worked. So basically what I would do is I would have to clean public bathrooms and weed whack and take care of the parks and any type of the streets. It was a lot of different stuff. It was a lot of different stuff. Anyways, our city got under attack by someone who kept going to all the public restrooms and smearing feces on the wall to protest the Iraq war. This is all true. That's not very funny to me. We called her the mad shitter I

Wanted I wanted to call her poo bear because I thought it was funny But you would go to the libraries and she would be like in the hood sunglasses and go to the bathroom and just Smear her feces on the wall Was it Plus you was it hers or was it? Was it Was it hers or was it That's a good question That's a very good question I do not know

I would have to go and power wash it Out of the bathrooms Was it funny back then That's probably the last time I've been to a library It's funny now Yeah it was very funny And also look at She did it we're out of iraq

yeah it was a long con who do you think these people are oh they're well we got the west dallas high school football team they all look like they're 45 years old every picture looks like these people are probably in their 20s or in their what the hell young 1916 but they are they didn't have cameras back then that's a painting is that abraham lincoln yeah every every black charlie chaplin and everyone looks so old that's a picture of their high school and they're 70 years old. Yeah, I'm so distracted That was a retired pirate Traveling the seven we had a big leg he was walking. I don't know no one here

Has walked fast at all. There's not been a person. Are you surprised there are people here? No. Because I was. I mean, and they were like happy to be here. You think you're shocked that people are at a library, at a public library? Yeah. They don't look homeless.

Oh, these people are homeless. I feel like we're getting away with something being here. It's West Side Willie over there. Oh, yeah. There's something about a library that makes you just on edge at all times.

Yes. I was super uncomfortable the entire time. Honestly, I want to catch a guy watching porn on the computer. Oh, okay. Is that why we're here? Because that's what I expect

happens at this time of night on a Wednesday. How late are they going to tell? In the West Allis Public Library. Yeah, it's wild that we can do this. It is. I'm surprised we got a room. They don't know. Actually, you know what's more wild?

I called New Berlin, and they're like, we're booked. I go, with who? We're booked. Other podcasts. Damn it. Do you think Kill Tony's taking us? Who's in's in there segura is two bears i wish we would have known we were doing this because i would have like i would have made a silent library game that would be very fun yeah well that's why i asked you like when this idea originated

because it was like an hour ago judd's like hey you want a podcast yeah sure what's the address what's this library for anyone who cares every one of these has been so last minute. Like, this is better. We're on top of our game. Well, not that last minute. We're always preparing. I'll ask you guys Monday when you want to do it, and then we'll usually figure out by Tuesday.

No, this is how it really goes. Kuski puts in the chat about things we talked about the last week. We probably freed this day. And then Kuski will put in the chat, hey, you guys still free on this day? And we have to wait until Jack responds. Oh, I hate it. I texted him Sunday night. I was like, so when do you guys feel like filming?

And then 5 p.m. Monday, I'll get something from someone and be like tough week for me yeah yeah would have been nice to know earlier that's how that yeah that's how it goes and i was waiting to jack responds and i'm like well then if we do it that way it usually revolves around jack and his missus and when they uh when they can do stuff which was very nice very nice honestly scares me a little bit she has's scared straight. She's taller than him. She's taller than anyone taller than me. Fimo scares the shit out of me. I mean, there's a few out there, isn't there? Most of them.

All right, so also, Kuski sounds like he just picked up smoking, which is very fun. Yeah. You were sick this past week. Yeah. I'm an idiot. Yeah, sexy. Give me something to say. I got ooh graham crackers oh graham go again go again oh wet socks oh that's gonna get somebody that's gonna get somebody one of your loyal fans Do they like what do you think our fans like wet socks or do they like dry just dirty dirty?

So like sweats at one point name one person that likes wet socks, please go. Uh the dude from Harry Potter. I Yeah, I didn't pay them Yeah, but yeah, I was sick and it was the worst congestion i've ever had in my time i will never take theraflu again in my life oh man oh my girlfriend told me apparently it's an upper and so i couldn't i couldn't breathe you know when you can you can't sniff in but you can kind of blow out a little bit, like that kind of congestion? You're like... Yeah, and it feels like you're suffocating, kind of?

Yeah. I could do neither. Yeah. And then I had a sore throat. Oh, yeah. So I was, like, trying to sleep, but I was, like, choking. And then I had, like, a panic attack. So I was microwaving bowls of water, and I put my head over them, trying to, like, lift

stuff. Oh, it was miserable. Why didn't you just go take a shower? I did. Nothing worked. Okay. my head over i'm trying to like really oh let's just go take a shower i did i nothing worked okay and then like the next day i was like so much better i took three naps and now it's just my sicknesses go like i'll get it all at once or in like two days and now it's just like mucus leaving my body like i feel amazing it's just like you know what it's been backed up let's get let's get it out well i'm glad you're back to health and i have that sweet sweet voice yeah use it while you can

can you say marlboro reds and then like marlboro reds clip it that's gonna be that's gonna be a sponsor uh do you want to do you want to talk about the show on friday yeah we can talk about that it was wild it was probably one of the more wild shows. Oh, Cam came. I didn't know that. Yeah, Cam came. That was insane, dude. Thanks for letting me know that.

It was his last movie. It was his last movie. Yeah, it was like a podcast. So Cam, I talked to Cam before he moved to Austin. Really? Yeah. Where is he from? He's from Orlando.

Okay. And so basically he did Don't Tell in Orlando and did stuff like that. So he reached out and was like, hey, I would love to do Don't Tell Milwaukee. And I was like, all right, Cam, yeah, anytime you want. Whenever you're in town, we'll put you on. Just let us know. Then he blows up in Austin. Oh, did he open for Tony this past weekend?

Yeah. So then he was at yeah so then yeah literally right down the road so on friday he had the tony hinchcliffe and he just hit me up the day up i was like hey do you have a don't tell tonight can i hop on i was like yes yeah and he goes i have a show at seven i'm gonna walk over if it's close and i was like yeah and we had josh on standby if it was raining to go pick him up and I was like yeah and we had Josh on standby if it was raining to go pick him up and I was like I don't know how much time he had so I had to put him like kind of in the middle because I don't want him to headline and him have to go back to where he needed to be

so Cam comes on and we have a we have a full lineup so he's part of it and it's great it's great show um his energy was insane like just exhausting the stage exhausting the audience and it was like working so well it was working amazing um the next guy to follow him is named brandon gay he's from he's from uh minneapolis and he's just a straight joke guy and then we have rachel mack to close out it's a great show um and then brandon gay is up there and he's like trying to like make sure everyone knows that i'm not about to be what cam just was because that was insane like everything was about it was just extra and crazy it was awesome and brandon has a joke about somebody flashing him at a park or

something like that and you just hear some girl yell go hey take your shirt off to him and he just dismisses and he goes no you take your shirt off and just keeps going with the joke he was just and that was all it was and then that girl keeps talking and I was like I will and she's inches and we're like what where were you guys look like you're in a bank we were in the Milwaukee Athletic Club. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Half the crowd, over half the crowd was members. I almost lived there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They were very member-esque. They were very particular. Yeah. Is that a good word? Yeah. They were quite.

Most of them were great, though. Hoity-toity? Yes. That's a good word. That was a good word. That's a good word. Hoity-toity. My parents said that one.

Anyways, so this lady keeps talking. And we're like, oh, man. She just keeps talking about how she's going to take her shirt off. She's very drunk. And obviously, in that situation as a comic, you don't want to, like, really keep engaging. But you want to see some tits. And just hope that she shuts up. So next thing you know, she is walking on stage.

She gets all the way up to the comedian stands right next to him looks at the crowd and then like i'm like oh no she's about to take her top off so then i walk on stage and i grab her and i just escort her off on back to her seat and i put her in her seat and i was like all right grab your stuff let's get you out of here let's do that and she goes no no no I'll be quiet I won't say anything then that she's very drunk obviously and so I was like okay well you can't say another word and I took her drink and I walked away so all right that's because I have to go back on stage Brandon finishes up and I instantly have to go back on stage after so I put her drink down at another table and I go back on stage. So I put a drink down at another table, and I go back on stage. Get Rachel up there, and then Rachel plays off, and she goes,

I've only shown one tit in my life. Who wants to see the other? And she says, you know, it was very funny stuff. Anyways, during Rachel's set, that girl stands up again. I'm like, oh, fuck. No. And she then walks back to the back of the room, and there's, like, kitchen doors for some reason.

Like if you wanted to cater to the event, they would use that kitchen right there. And that lady walks through that kitchen and is never seen ever again. Never saw her again. I don't even know if there's an exit in that kitchen. The infamous kitchen Karen. Right, yeah.

Was she a ghost? She's the topless ghost? I'm going to be honest with you. If I was on stage and that woman came up and she offered to show her tits. Would you just been like. I would have been like, as stage as yours. Yeah, but at that point, it's like, you're not headlining. You're before the headlining.

Yeah, I know. Like, if you're headlining, that would be great. I would be like, fucking, let's do this. I would be like, and for my final act tits you're staging people in there um that's amazing that's awesome that cam came though i was supposed to go to uh my buddy offered me tickets to go see hinchcliffe um sixth row because he's at the paps and in the morning was like, that's when I texted you guys. Yeah.

And I was like, that would be fun. And then I just felt like a bag of dicks. I was like, I can't go. And Tony's funny as fuck. I saw him because I saw Rogan here at Pfizer. And he brought Tony as a surprise. And I would venture to say Tony killed it more than Rogan did. I mean, you also see

a lot of features that should headline kill it for other people because it's a smaller sample size. You can just fit your best jokes in. Especially on the road, you're like, oh yeah, this is simple because smaller sample size, you don't have to

play the headliner card and not as much as expected of you you know your your your bar to jump over is way less than yeah yeah which is so low but yeah yeah that was that was the friday show as well it was a really good show though besides i mean one of the no even that was great. I mean, like, in the moment, it was crazy and hectic and wild, but also, like, the whole night was. It was fun. We had a blast. Meanwhile, I did Drunken Cobra last night. Bombed big time.

I just went home, bought some lottery tickets. Hopefully, my luck changed around tonight. What is the lottery up to? Oh, we want to talk about this, too. Lottery's at approximately $1.7 billion. Okay. Stupid. Yep.7 billion. Okay. Stupid. Yep.

Stupid amount of money. Real fast. First thing you would buy, $1.7 billion. Go. Yacht. Plane. Plane. Cool.

Great answers. Great answers. That's pretty standard. I was at the grocery store. You would buy the grocery store. Yeah, I would actually buy a grocery store. I would would do pineapples but like from the cut ones yeah they're way more expensive they are that's a real thing i've had the grocery store self-checkout and the lady who is two feet behind me goes gosh can i just win the lottery and i'm i'm not feeling my best but i'm like yeah you know what

i feel yeah i really changed my mood today and then a co-worker walks past her and she goes he goes yeah that would be great but like only a million dollars of it and then she chimes back in she goes yeah the whole thing would just be too much money to which I almost turned around and stabbed her in the fucking throat. And then a third co-worker chimes in. She goes, you know what? I agree with you, but I wouldn't say no. But you know what? A whole lot of charities

would be getting a lot of money. And I go, you know what? I hate all of you. Go fuck yourself. That's not how the game is played. No. Okay? The game is I would buy a bunch of strippers, two planes, and cut up pineapple. What's your first thing you'd buy?

Probably, oh, I don't know. I'd buy just the biggest piece of land and build whatever I want on it. Yeah, that's fun. Where would you buy it? Like a sports bus. Where would you buy it? I don't know. it. Yeah, that's fun. Where would you buy it? Like a sports bus. Where would you buy it? I don't know. Tennessee.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I mean, also like- Good weather kind of year round. Seven billion dollars is so much money. But also- You can't even fathom it, yeah. But also at the same point, like, it's okay to have that money.

Yeah, it's okay. Also, one million dollars, not that much money. No. It's not. That'll go quick. And it'll go- Also, one million dollars, I'm going to tell you right now, that is a lot of No. It's not. That'll go quick. And it'll go quick. Also, $1 million, I'm going to tell you right now, that is a lot of money. It is.

But like, nah. It's not changing your life, fucking Vicky. I mean, it might. Listen, your intelligence level is that of a self-checkout attendant. You're so dumb, you have to watch other people do your job. You think she's going to spend the million dollars correctly? Fuck no. In two years, she's going to be back at the Piggly Wiggly watching me fucking price check T-bone steaks.

The thing is with people who play the lottery, and a famous person once said, the reason people go broke because they play the lottery is because if they worried about their money in the first place, they wouldn't be playing the lottery. Yeah. Do you know who said that me neither well i think it's anonymous so me oh you ever see like those quotes that people put on like they're they're like facebook or like and then put the anonymous i'm like you didn't have to put that if you don't i want you to know that i don't know yeah Yeah, your name. We get that you didn't. Honestly, big pet peeve of mine is saying, and it's usually like women just have like some stupid fucking quote

in their bio on Instagram. I had a joke about it once. One lady was like, I like to drive in the fast lane. It's like, no, you don't. Shut the fuck up. You're on your phone swerving in and out like this. I hate that. It's like, what does that even mean?

So you know those TikTok trends of girls saying their ics right now? Have you seen that? Does that pop up on your feed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we were in Ireland, there was ladies on the radio talking about ics that they had, and I started jotting them down and some were pretty ridiculous. I don't know if you've seen any of these videos though.

I don't know. I'm just kind of looking at I kind of want to say some of these and then you guys either defend the men or agree with the Wait, so these are men's icks? Yeah, so I don't know if you want to call a segment sick or ick. So like if the guy does this.

It's like a list of things that are hard to look cool doing too. Oh, okay. All right, so let's see here. Wearing an apron when grilling. Do you think that's an ick or do you think that's pretty sick? You know what? That depends on the guy. That's also age appropriate.

You wear an apron at a certain age. Here's the thing. Is it a dad? I don't know. If it's a dad, it's fun. If it's fun, it's playful. If you're in your early 20s, it's fun, it's playful. If you're 35 and you're on your hinge date and this guy pulls out an apron to grill you something,

yeah, I can see that being an ache. Is he putting the utensils in the pockets? Yeah. Great question. Does it say something? Okay, there's a lot to it like a professional apron or does it like i have an apron that says i'll feed all you fuckers yeah but also like the dude in the bear everyone loves him so he wears an apron also like well that kind of like leads into another one is like wearing ironic t-shirts that have jokes on them do you think that's an ick i i'm gonna i definitely won on the last podcast i was on and i was like i don't like when comedians wear uh like joke t-shirts like i've seen people

go on stage and they have a joke on their t-shirt i've done it once for a show and i hated it but it's also like making the audience read but it's also has nothing to do with your set it's like someone else's yeah unless you have a joke what are you doing i did it once because someone got it to me gave it to me as a gift it's a t-shirt that says i do stand-up comedy and i sit when i pee and they got it to me right after i had my surgery because i actually did have to sit to pee you only do one of them no it's like all right but yeah i agree with you that's all right should we all right i have a I have a few more. Keep going.

I was going to say we could start rapid firing or just keep going. Getting out of a beanbag chair. Go fuck yourself. You're looking to get out of that relationship. How many beanbag chairs? I don't know, but could you get out of a beanbag chair a cool way? The ick isn't getting out of it. It's that he owns it.

Yeah, true. Fair enough. Well, I mean. I like those love sacks. The ick isn't getting out of it. It's that he owns it. Yeah, true. Fair enough. Well, I mean. I like those love sacks. Yeah. When I hear beanbag chair, I'm thinking like actual beanbags. Yeah. It's a little too worn down.

Like you jump on it wrong, your ass hits the floor. A similar category. Chasing after a ping pong ball. I'm not going to lie. No one looks sexy. That is hard to do. When your partner missed like a shot in beer pong and you have to go chase it down and then toss it to him.

The only way to like properly do that is like try and grab it cool once and then wait for it to kind of fizzle out and then you walk over to it. There's no chasing it. Going off that too too being in a hurry and running with flip-flops on oh yeah yeah that's hard how many times you were you are you flip-flop guy um in the summer if i owned them yes but i haven't are you a thong sandal person at for time being i had them um i don't think I am anymore. I kind of like the athletic ones. I'm more of just low-cut shoes, like Vans.

Boat shoes? No, I had Sperry's at one point. Yeah, I regret that. Yeah, that's the Franklin showing. Your privilege is showing. Are you a flip-flop guy? Yeah, I just bought some Kirklands. Slides. What's a Kirkland? Likeflop guy? Yeah, I just bought some Kirkland's Slides Like the Costco brand

You do look like your house is equipped with Golf clubs, shoes, shirt I do have a putter, I do have a t-shirt What else I got? All the food Do you eat lunch there? No Have you eaten lunch there?

Yes The chicken bake shit, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Oh, you like lunch there? No. Have you eaten lunch there? Yes. The chicken bake shit? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Oh, you like this one? Using a microwave cover for your food. Yeah, that's a neck. Yeah, I get that.

I get that. Taste testing ice cream with the little baby spoons at the... Oh. I mean... You get... Do you get two tries? Two max. That's it it once you go past i will even say this to my girlfriend i'm like hey 31 you get i've even said it in my head i'm like if you go down the line and you're like i want to try all of them and you know damn well you don't like

almond pecan espresso pistachio like that sounds great don't don't fucking get it but if yeah if I was with someone I'm like can I try this one can I try this one and it's next to it I'm like this can be it's vanilla

no we don't need to try vanilla it's the worst one and then they go back to the the original one can I try that one more time the first one

wait I forgot what that was like yeah you know what I'm just gonna have a small cone yeah I'll just take can I just get one scoop

of vanilla please yeah I get that one i get that one um saying i'm in here when somebody knocks on the bathroom door oh yeah you're i mean there's i mean someone's in here the fear of death and the fear of someone walking in on you in the it has to be the same. But you don't sound manly. I'm in here. When someone knocks, if you're taking a shit, and someone knocks, my hand looks so white. That's this damn lighting. I told you you should change it. When you're in the bathroom, someone knocks on the door, what do you say?

I just go, yeah. I try to cough when I hear somebody enter. Like I let them know. There's a monster waiting there. Hey, I'm about to throw up in here. The cookie monster's having lunch. You don't want to see what's going down in there. I go, hey.

That's just where I go. I mean, I got at Drex's wedding this past weekend. I wasn't on the toilet yet. I just got in there. I locked it. With that, like, mid-half way door. And then I had to, like, because we're all in suit coats. And I was like, oh, I got to take my suit off.

And then I take it off. And all of a sudden, someone just walks in the door. I was like, hey. Like, we're just facing one another. Yeah. By the way, that. And I know who the guy is. That was a cute little video you guys had.

I liked it. The timed up. Oh, dude. You, by the way, couldn't see your face. It's a happiest forever look you've ever honestly we watch a video so so we were so we were doing it with a bunch and then Josh grabs all of them he goes it's gonna be awesome and then we didn't even see Jenna filming and she had her she had

everything so that's the music that she put on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Third Eye Blind Jumper, I believe. Oh, yeah. Oh, she put it on there? She put that. But we have the video. We can put any music we want to it.

It sounded so good. I'll send it to you. You can throw it in there. Yeah, yeah. It sounded so good. Do you guys remember the Shaq video of him DJing? And then all of a sudden they beat drops and he takes his shirt off and all the kids jump on it. There used to be a Twitter account that would just play it to any song and to all these different beats. So Taylor Swift's love songs would go in.

All these different rap songs and it was why me Yeah Was it the retired pirate? No, it was a new guy. I'm on the prowl right now everyone with sciatica here and Walking so slow. I give me more Eating sandwiches that are shaped like triangles. No, I Eating sandwiches that are shaped like triangles. No. I like – To be honest with you, if I go to a deli and the sandwich comes out cut in triangles, love it.

Yeah. Absolutely. When you get that first corner bite, oh, that's the best bite. Yeah, squares taste worse. Also, you got me in a big sourdough kick. Sourdough. Dude, I've been making some sourdough sandwiches. It's amazing, isn't it?

Even like my breakfast sandwiches in the morning. It's better for you. Have sourdough in the morning. It's better for you. Have sourdough in the morning. It's better for you. For your digestive health? Yeah. Wow. Good to know.

You got me on a good kick. Men who get ready to go out, let's just say you're at a wedding or whatever. You're all suited up, but then you're laying there waiting for your phone to charge. That's a nick a lady said i think i think there's our people that get ready but that's just like what do you want his phone to die yeah i don't know here's some of them are like ironic and they're just like has a father like like that kind of bullshit all right now you're trying to be here's one if he has time to lay down and wait for his phone to charge that means she's still getting ready which by the way big egg all right when we tell you we're leaving in two hours and two hours later like

should we get ready now it's like i'm laying down charging my phone. Yeah. But also, like, charging your phone is like, it's never sexy. No. You always feel like. Can I go plug in real quick? I got to go charge this. One second. That's hot. Yeah.

Oh, no. It's for women. We talked about this the other day, how all these girls right now are in their era. I get Taylor Swift's around the world right now but like yeah oh i had um waffles this morning i'm in my waffle era for breakfast yeah like well also all the travis kelsey stuff is getting insane yeah you know yeah that's their fault i mean i mean honestly you asked me what i think of that situation i don't give a fuck okay but they're gonna put in front of you yeah you know what I think of that situation, I don't give a fuck. Okay. But they're going to put it in front of you.

Yeah. You know what? Here's an idea, world. You don't want to see it. Stop talking about it. Okay? 72-hour rule. If you just don't say, you know, Taylor Swift three times in front of the mirror every night,

like most girls are before they go to bed, she might disappear. Okay? I love her. Great. Travis Kelsey, great football player. But if we just shut the fuck up about it for a while they'd just be a happy couple when that place football music they'll probably be broken up by then i bet oh dude i can't wait i can't wait for her song she's pregnant she's pregnant for sure what no oh my god can you imagine what that album's gonna be like

oh god good god and then they get divorced and have split custody. Holy shit. She's going to be making music forever. I'll tell you who we need to break up. Adele. She's been... Now I've been making good music. But she needs a new agent.

She's really funny whenever I see clips of her shows. Lebronnie's one too. Yeah, that was a good poll. I didn't know you know that pop culture that well look at you um listens to joe rogan podcast i mean i get it but like get over yourself yeah you listen to color daddy it's the same shit tying your shoes lick my ass i'm wearing tiny socks that don't show the ones that like end at the top of your toe. Oh, there you go.

Sock moment, baby. This is the only one you're going to get. I should have worn a pair today. Wait, you're not wearing socks? No, the tiny ones for this moment. Yeah, I've seen videos of that where girls are like, found a new wick. I'm like, even I'm looking at them like that is not sexy at all.

You look like you're forming into tinkerbell starting at the toes um yeah that's pretty much it that's it yeah i mean that's fair that's fair i mean that's plenty that's funny i mean uh an ick for a guy man there's probably so many that i do but it's like but i mean like also uh a lot of the icks are just living. The person's just living. Let the person live. Let's just be in a bad mood and look at somebody. I don't like shark shirts. That's fair.

At this rate, most women want men to walk around with untied shoes, dead phones, and a suit. Walk after ping pong balls. Well-dressed, but untied shoes. That doesn't make sense dead phone how is he gonna text you right that's life that's life that's like what was the other thing you want to talk about you said that's pretty much it and then i just there's some like um i don't know movie magic when it comes to like tiktok and stuff and editing i just think of awkward moments while people are filming stuff like the whole get ready with me videos.

I just imagine the person going into the room, set up the camera, walking, going out, coming back in, and then doing their thing and doing that in every fucking room of their house. Oh. And I just think that is... If you think how TikToks are made or just videos themselves are made,

you're like, it takes all the fun out of it. Like, there are people like, oh, I just got to my hotel room and the phone's already in the hotel room when they get in there i'm like oh you put it up yeah and then walked out and then walked back in some people buy it though all right everyone buys it well yeah which added it nice and stuff it looks great but like in reality it's like it i don't know what do you think is the most unrealistic type of scene in a movie i know mine because i want to make a joke out of it but like

a movie you see like a generic kind of yeah a generic like movie you're like that is not how it happens in real life like not even close well i know like every high school is a very common thing to see every high school movie musical is all the same jocks and bullies that there's been since the freaking 70s and it's still like that i mean people do get bullied bullying is a big one that bothers me like that's not how it works like it well i always hate the it's like the bottom of the ninth, and then they point at their loved one that they've been, you know, in love with the whole time, the whole movie,

and they're like, this is for you. And then they hit the home run. And it's like, if you're at the bottom of ninth, you're thinking about someone else, that picture is going to strike your ass out. That's not how that works. Mine's like the sexual tension that leads to a sex scene

like you ever see like they're at a bar and like clearly they're into each other and then it cuts to like someone getting thrown against the wall and they're getting hot and heavy like there's no way that passion you've never had passion? no think of it this way okay you're at a bar

okay close your eyes okay you You're at a bar. Okay? Hey, I'm going to close my eyes. Close your eyes. Okay? You two are at a bar. You have insane sexual intention, like whatever, tension with the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. Oh, not me and Josh?

Okay. Yeah. I was like, okay. Okay. So there's a girl? Okay. Most movies immediately cut to you guys just absolutely going at it in the room. Okay?

But what they don't put in is like, hey, do you want to go home? Yeah. Okay, let me call an Uber real quick. And then you wait 15 minutes for the Uber, and then you sit 15 minutes in the Uber, pissed drunk, and you're like trying to stay awake. And you're like, let me get into my apartment. You're fumbling in. And then all of a sudden, mood lighting's on, music's. And you're like, let me get into my apartment. You're fumbling in. And then all of a sudden mood lighting's on, music's going.

You're like, let's get at it. Like, no, I'm like half asleep. Maybe we'll sloppily make out. Like that bothers the shit out of me. It's like just imagine being in the Uber like, hey, just wait. We're going to kick this tension right back up. No. Well, that's why it's a movie, man.

I know, but I'm like, Jesus Christ. It highlights all the best parts. Show me the Uber ride. Show me the Uber ride. You want all the boring details that lead up to it? I think that'd be a great funny scene where it's like, tension in the Uber ride, and then they go. Because that's really what it is.

That's funny. How many Uber rides home from the bar have you kind of been half asleep the whole time? So many. More than one. Yeah. Majority. For me, a lot of movies just are very unrealistic in how they progress stories. It's just like, I mean, I have the joke about the greatest showman of all

like yeah how like they progress that story with through song and it's like instantly everyone's back and it's like what that's not how life works or anything works you know and it's like based on a true story i was like what true story would that work in yeah super loose that's another puppy i hate the base on true stories and then you read about the story like that's not even close yeah like the texas chainsaw maskers based on a true story yeah it's on plainfield wisconsin i also just genuinely don't like those movies because i know how it ends like i hate prequels and i hate like based on true story i don't hate them like i've never seen it yeah kind of cool but if it's like a story that's like well known like they did like an oj simpson movie and it's like based on a true story like i know how it ends he's making

weird jokes on twitter now like that's it i i think also uh like the the like the true stories you always always want to think you've learned something. Like the Jeffrey Dahmer documentary, I didn't even watch it because I know it. The dude ate people and died in prison. But they filmed that pretty good. Yeah. There's a difference, though, too, between dramatizations, they call them, and then a documentary kind of thing. Yeah.

So for you, it's all about how they categorize it, huh? Well, yeah. a documentary kind of thing yeah so for you it's all about how they categorize it well yeah it's all well yeah because they have they did like ted bundy they did like the ted bundy netflix thing which is like real footage that's more interesting to me because it's fucking real um but i also watched the one with zach efron and i'm like i would prefer a different experience it's a dramatization to like hook people. You want to get killed by the real Ted Bundy, not Zach. I want him to pick me.

Pick me, Zach. Pick me. I want to feel wanted. Do you guys want to play Wavelength? Yes, but you really need to explain this to me. Because you said it. Fairly simple. I'm going to give you.

We are going gonna cut it close we might get kicked out of the library today all right so basically it's 11 59 randomize this there is nothing moving oh and then you see where it's at so you see where it's at i have it in my camera show it oh so you don't know what it is so i I will know. You guys won't know. So I'm going to have this facing, and now I see. Now I see what's that, and right now the card is overrated, underrated. So overrated to my right, underrated to my left. Is it always going to be that way? So this is randomized.

No, but overrated, underrated. Nope. So I have a bunch of different cards. Okay. So then I'm like, okay, the number four is what i'm trying to get you guys to guess number four is what i'm trying to get you to guess okay so then i have to put it back up and i was like all right so what is kind of overrated but not but not like fully overrated and i'm gonna go So this is still just a dry run?

Kirk Cousins. And I would pass it to Josh. Now, Josh, you put the red ball where you think Kirk Cousins is on the overrated, underrated scale. And then tell me when you're ready. I'm ready. And then I'm going to put it in my camera. Boom.

I knew where it was. Yeah. So then Joshua gets four points. Or two points. Yeah. So that's how it works. But we have a bunch of different categories. Does that make sense?

Oh, so like the categories aren't always underrated. Nope. Then I'm changing it. So now this next. Ah. But it's always like less and more, right? It's going to be more kind of. We're going to see who can get more.

So are you going to pass this whole thing around or we do it? I'm going to be the thing, and you two are guessing against one another. So you versus Kuski. Okay. Spin. Because I really wanted you to say blowjobs. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie.

Blowjobs. You beat me fucking to it. He's learning. He's learning. All right, you guys. Rock, paper, scissors. Who goes first? Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.

I always go rock. Josh goes first. I'm always rock hard. The category goes is going to be genuine person, phony person. So who the hell is a good person? Genuine to the left.

Genuine is going to be to the left. Phony is going to be to the right. Okay. So you say one person? Josh, tell me when to stop. Stop. Drop and roll. Go boom, baby.

This is one of the ones where you need to keep going. There you go, because there was nothing on there. Okay. All boom, baby. No. This is one of the ones where you need to keep going. Just there you go. Because there was nothing on there. Okay. All right. Good. Okay. Can you guys both hang away?

Both close your eyes real quick. So you can't see. I want to show the camera. Can you write this down genuine terrible phony all right josh yep your mother oh come on off the charts genuine oh yeah rotated yeah. It rotated a bit. Give him the final one.

You got the two points. You got two points. All right. Too easy. Love you, Mike. I'm going to quickly write these down. She's going to love that bit. I don't need to text you guys, hey, who the hell is it?

And I can put it in for editing purposes because they're not going to be able to see. Oh, yeah, yeah. Anyways. Actually, no, never mind cuz yeah you're good yeah we got it yeah all right cuz you know when okay what could be so funny wait hold on close our eyes it said flipping it over oh yeah Jack Sarasoli did you show the camera yeah oh yeah oh. Close your eyes. Jack Sarasoli. Did you show the camera already?

Oh, yeah. Close your eyes. I've got to show the camera. Jack Sarasoli. Phony person, good person. So you have to put the red marker to where you think it is and then give it back to me. And what I think my good friend Mr. Sarasoli is. Mr. Sarasoli, is. Mr. Sarasoli. Okay. Pretty genuine. Not even close.

Wrong goes to Josh. You think he's a phony person? He's not here. Jack, I love you, buddy. What a traitor. In reality, though, I see Jack's pretty true to himself. He seems pretty real. He admitted to painting things. Alright, this one is

going to be mild or spicy. Mild. Also, there's a clip of you from this week that goes hand in hand with you missing the high five kind of i think i might make a montage of just dumb things you do i think you think you're off camera is it me yeah you're double fisting i knew it was on camera you know what i mean you may be opening the episode. Actually, no.

I know it opens the episode. Josh, tell me when. Any day now. When? Wait, we gotta get out of here? Yeah. 8 o'clock. I'm gonna change it because it's boring. Alright, close your eyes. I'm going to change it because it's boring. All right.

Close your eyes. Spicy, mild. I'm going to say a leg grab. A leg grab. I was going to go like food or hot sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's grabbing your leg and why? Well, I kind of thought edibles right away. That's why. Who's grabbing your leg and why?

Well, I mean, Josh, if he gets it on beers, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I bet. Depends on who does it, to be honest. Spicy leg grabs. Brought to you by Judd Reminger. I'm going pretty mild. I feel like I sound like I could be in a Nick Kroll show.

I'm vengeance. No, what is that Nick Kroll show? The cartoon one. The Hormone Monster. Oh, SpongeBob. All right, ready and go. Oh, not even close. Well, that's what I asked.

I just immediately thought of grandma. You need content. I saw grandma grab my leg. That's immediately what I asked. I just immediately thought of grandma. You need content. I saw grandma grab my leg. That's immediately what I thought of. So that's pretty mild. That's just, hey, knee jerk reaction. It's like you're in the movie theater with a girl on the first date and you kind of put your hand over there.

Yeah, it was a little spicy. It's like tangles up her spine. It's kind of in the middle. Family feud clip. Naked grandma. You know what's a new ick up her spine. It's kind of in the middle. Family feud clip. Naked grandma. You know what's a new ick? Thinking of leg grabs from your grandma. All right.

Sorry. I like what I like. I also like that I worded this as we're doing a little film project today. These guys are just filming each other playing games. Are we doing spicy and mild? I mean, I can look, right? Yeah, Kuski, don't look. Spicy and mild.

Spicy. Taco Bell two-for-one nacho cheese chalupas. I'm gonna go in a world. I'm gonna go whispering in your ear. Ooh. I'm at the library.

Hey, we're at the library. Hey, baby, I'm at the library. Hey, we're at the library. Hey, baby, I'm at the library. Hey, grandma. Want to touch my lid? You got Werther's in that purse. I made your pumpkin bars. Good. I think we're both going to go over on this one.

Oh, just kidding. Oh. Pretty close. Close? Closer than Josh, so I'm going to give the point to Kuski. That's right, baby. That's right, man. I'm the hard one, master.

All right, this next one is going to be talented and skilled. Talented and skilled. So, talented and skilled talented and skilled so Jackson skill he doesn't even ask me to do stop it anymore. Josh, close your eyes. All right, all right, all right. Ready? Yeah, ready. Juggling chainsaws.

This is a talent or a skill? Yeah. Yeah, basically. You're good at reading the cards. One, two, three three are you stupid and what talent and a skill you know you learn that down to something you have skill is something I learned yeah just comes out of the you think your mother came no your grandma was like know what, I just know how to juggle chainsaws. Oh, wow, look at you. You're so talented.

You can juggle chainsaws. They're misusing that phrase. What would you say? Grandma would say, oh, my dear son. Your grandma's dead. All right. We had to go with that. All right, Kosti, close your eyes.

Bumpkin boy I want the comments to be on my side Talent or skill, same fucking thing Talent or skill Ready for this? Stand up comedy Do you think it's a talent or a skill? It's a bullshit category, hate it

No, I like this one do you think it's a talent or a skill? It's a bullshit category. I hate it. No, I like this one. Because I think some people have a knack for stand-up comedy, but I also think you can learn to be much better at it than you are. I mean, my first set sucked. My last one sucked, but in general, I think I've gotten a little better. So I'm learning a skill. I'm going to... Shut up.

Nah. Go. All right. Bang it. See, I was going to go right in the middle, but I was like maybe he's leaning more towards, you know, some people got a knack for it. All right, here we go.

The worst, the best. Worst, best. Okay, see, two different things. This one works. Stop. I'm going to nail this one. Four pointer, no doubt. I guarantee you, you're so off.

We have to end it because it's just embarrassing. Well, it better be a good... Category. I'm going to go... Did you show it already? I'm going to... Worst? Best? Did you show it already? I'm going to... Oh, yeah. Show. Worst, best.

Put your fucking eyes down. I'm going to go... I was open. I'm going to go a wedgie. A wedgie. Is this, for me personally... Something you've gotten multiple times. Remember all those bully movies we were talking about? Yeah.

Let me shove you in the locker. You nerd. Just a little. Just a little? Three, two, one. But you know what? Not enough. It was close.

It was close. It was close. A wedgie's not like terrible. Yeah, Jesus. That's like getting shot right there is what you did. Okay? But like if you got a wedgie, would you be like, oh, this is the worst. Or this is the worst.

You know what that is? The worst is, yeah, getting tortured. That's like almost winning the lottery but only getting a million. That's what that is. All right. Here we go. You guys have no logic. Comedians.

We do have skill. Is that talent? I don't know. Use your logic to figure it out. All right, Kuski, close your eyes. They are closed. Worst, best? I hate this Batman voice saying he's got to kill this.

It's because you're turned on. Your grandma touching your thigh. Is that the worst or the best? Who am I? Me or Josh? Who are you? It's not the... Don't all look at...

I'm facing that way. I'm Batman. Vengeance. Where on the thigh? Inner? I really want... It's for you to decide. You know what? And you can decide who's grandma it is. I'd rather my grandma touch me on the thigh than I really want That's for you That's for you to decide You know what

And you can decide Who's grandma it is I'd rather my grandma Touch me on the thigh Than get a wedgie But you know It's a little weird So

I wish we could pull Somebody that walks by And be like Hey What do you think We're doing in here Alright here we go Not even close

Not even close That's a winner for Josh Winner for Josh I'm a little I'm a little worried What happened in your family lives When you were younger What are you talking about?

How often is your family touching you? This is my no-no zone What the fuck? I'm terrible at these games I don't think I've ever won one I've never played this game in particular Ooh here we go This is fun

This is fun. This is going to be a fun one. We could play fishbowl. Josh loves a good fishbowl. We heard. It is small number and large number. Whether this is going to be a small number or a large number. This game is so vague.

Say yes or no. Yeah. All right, close your eyes. Sorry, I'm in here. Not now, I'm in the bathroom. Well, shouldn't this be pretty simple? Okay. All right.

Number of beers you've had. Number of beers you're going to have this weekend. So just crank that all the way to the right. I didn't want to be a total delinquent, but I pretty much was. Yep, we're touching two. For two! Have we gone inside two yet?

No. We gotta hit a three or four. Yeah, that's good. You can stop there. Number of cats you've had in your life. That's relatively speaking. I hate this fucking life. That's relatively speaking because I've had a lot of cats in my life. Really?

But is it a large number or is it a small number? Compared to like how many cats you should have in your life right now, this one's tough. Does he know how many cats you've had? I don't think so. We're going to talk about it right after. Would you like to know how many cats are out of my life? Right now. That's one of my...

My parents are divorced. Because of the cats? This is your fault. I'm going off what you think. Okay. In a world where there's cats. Is he touching? Nope.

Oh. Ooh, that was damn close. Okay. That was damn close. Let's go through a little history here. Okay. So when I was,

when I was a young lad, I had Lady Tiger, which was my... You edit this. Yeah, you edit this. You're gonna edit this later and you're gonna be like... So many people will be like, why is he talking like that?

He's talking like this and he's like, I'm going to delete all this. I'm all right with it. I had my dad's cat, Lady Tiger. Okay, back to reality. My mom's two. But they had Skylar and Minx. And then we had... I apologize to all the cats I may forget.

And then I had Booger apologize to all the cats I may forget, and then I had Booger, Midnight, Clipper, Guinness, Bo, Max, Finn. I'm at like nine. That's a lot of cats. Do you live on a farm? No. I might have had one more. I just named cat. But, yeah, I've had nine cats. I've have had one more.

I've had nine cats. I've never had a dog. My dad has two. My mom has one. So they had 81 lives? No, they all had one. Quick math. All right.

We have the last one, I think. We're the last. I was going to say, do you want to do a round? Limp or firm? Does it get you limp? Oh, it doesn't get you limp or firm. That's important. See, we need a few more details.

Does it get you limp or does it get you firm? Our host is lacking right now. I know. This is the first time. It's fun to have more of like a vague, because if I'm like specifically. And who are we? Are we the peep and Tom that came in here earlier? Yeah. Hope he got his tripod. I hope he got his tripod.

I hope he didn't. All right, Josh, you have to close your eyes. All right. Kuski's girlfriend. Oh, God bless America. So do I compliment him or do I? Well, this is also his opinion, so he's double fucked. No, this is your question.

Unless. Unless. We're listening He's doing a lot of turning She's a beautiful woman I want you to be respectful She's a beautiful woman Fuck you up

But knowing that she's Kuski's Lady You know makes You know things less erotic. Can I say something? Shut the fuck up. Eyes are closed. Okay.

All right, here we go. I know where you're going with this. I already know my answer. You know where I'm going to going with this I already know my answer you know where I'm gonna go with this yeah that's interesting okay let's do it can I open my eyes Reagan Neimler You cheater. Try it again. That was going to be fun.

Let's see what you thought of Reagan. Okay. We haven't shushed once in here. Close your eyes. For the win. Double points and for the win. This one's worth all the marbles. This is all. This all comes down to.

Jack Sarasoli. Dude, he's. Objectively speaking. He's a man. As a man? Are we going like full body? Because I don't know what he looks like on his shirt. I think He's a man As a man Are we going like Full body Cause I don't know

What he looks like On his shirt I think it's a little Doughy I mean doughy's in Doughy's in right I hope Alright here we go

Jack Sarasoli Jack you are a sexy man He's got a lower voice Than you Fuck me Please Jack Please Jack I want you. Fuck me. Please, Jack. Please, Jack, I want you. Please, Jack.

Give me one chance. Jack's a good-looking guy. Jack's a... It's almost like too handsome. It's annoying. He's got a good head of hair. You don't say that to him when he's around? No.

And we do. Well, we have... Is that why you guys had me here? Yeah, we want to boost our ego every once in a while. No, he's... Jack's been getting a real big head. He's been wearing sunglasses now. I mean, they look kind of good.

He's got his championship belt on, which is just a camo fanny pack. Yeah. He's doing well for himself, huh? Yeah, he's doing well. I've met him before. He's been getting too big for his britches because everyone on the chat just loves him. I think that's how we should end. We should show our socks.

I think if you stuck around this far... Yeah, let's really freak the library out. Do I have to take my shoes off? Yeah, put them on the table. Put them on the table. Are you new to this show? No. I should have brought you your pretzels.

What's up, honey? I need a I need a fast touch She has a cane By the way She's walked the fastest Oh yeah That's the fastest

Anyone's walked That kind of feels good My shoes are kind of Doesn't it? Hotter than I thought Yeah Well We did it in the library

Honestly I kind of want to do it here again I know Now that I got acclimated To the climate here And the people And the pirates and shit, and the peeping Toms and the... I agree with you.

Doing it, I don't know how I ever... Maybe it was the leather couch that made it okay. But on Jack's couch, it just felt too comfortable, and we couldn't get into a groove. We got cookies. Dude, there's a good 20 minutes where Judd looks like this on the camera. I was like, we're sinking into the thing. I thought we were done.

Are we just going to do a sleep stream? Are you just going to sleep for an hour and film it and see what happens? I want to do one standing up. I really do. The little side-by-side of all of us, like the cameras were perfect. We're all at the same height. I look like I'm as tall as you. Cool.

Well, uh, yeah, we should definitely pick. I like doing it in random spots. I do too. Yeah. I told him I'm staying at my dad's right now.

Um, he's like, where are you going? I'm like, I'm going to go to the library. He goes, where I go? The,

uh, West Dallas public library. You can do it here. I'm kind of liking the random spots. Like, let's brainstorm maybe this weekend. Just think where we could do it next. We could just library hop. She was the best librarian in the Milwaukee area.

I know Franklin's got a good library. I've been in that one in high school. It's a decent library. the Milwaukee area. I know Franklin's got a good library. I've been in that one in high school. It's a decent library. A little more secluded. The Greendale one. Art Museum. I know where that one is. I know where the Greendale one is.

We go to the basement of High Note again. That would be fun. I do like that place. That's always fun. Beautiful. How do we end this? I don't know. I don't have a story this time.

All right. Everyone look deeply. All right. I got three feet on mine. All right. Everyone look deeply in them. All right. I got three feet on mine. All right. Now everyone touch each other's thighs. All right.

All right. Let's go win the lottery. I'm down. Yeah. All right. You guys have a library card? Fuck no. I got my ID.

That sounded so rude when I said that. You're like aggressive. Why would I have a library card? Fuck no. I got my ID. That sounded so rude when I said that. I know. You're like aggressive. Like, why would I have a library card? You're in a library, sir. What am I, a nerd? Yeah. I'm not one of you. Alright, we have 13 minutes to pack this shit up and get out of here. It looks like I'm just talking into Judd's foot right now. So, um,

for all, leave it there. Yeah, I got one right here. This has been the Fat Chance Podcast. Thank you very much for listening. We are the feed monsters.