Fat Chance Podcast - The Boys of Fall #7

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

Ted Lasso finds a new team. Jack is our star athlete. Judd really wanted to be the mascot. We really need to not film in libraries anymore. Get your Chewzie TODAY! https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

Is a house really a home if your loved one's is gone? No. Yeah. No. Honestly, you know what? I kind of like when everyone's gone. It is more of a home when everyone's out and I can just do whatever I want in the house. That's not a home, that's a house. That's a place you operate in.

That's spoken like a true person who lives with his father. That one hurt. Stand up, Stand up. There you go. There you go. Well, now I need to adjust the camera. No, you don't. Judd, can you zoom me out, please?

I didn't like how I couldn't see the top. I couldn't see the top of your head during last episode. We're only referring to each other by our costume names, so you're Ted. You can zoom in a little bit. You're Ted. A little bit. A little bit. Good our costume names. So you're Ted. You can zoom in a little bit. You're Ted. A little bit. A little bit. Good.

That's good. You're Ted. You're Mr. Wiener. There's a snake in my boot. And I'm Champ. I'm the dog. I'm the top dog. So Ted Lasso formed a new team, as I was saying.

Wait, does Ted Lasso have an accent? I don't know. It's American, but I'm trying not to move my lip a bunch right now to keep it in. I think he is Southern. Yeah, it sounds really Southern. I think he's from Kentucky. That's pretty Southern. That's pretty wild.

Yeah, this is the Halloween episode? Halloween episode on the library. Happy Halloween. It's spooky season. We should read the, what's that scary story that's on the dark? Ooh, Goosebumps. That's spooky season. We should read the... What's that scary story that's on the dark? Ooh, Goosebumps. That's a good one, too. We should just read those.

We should just do a reading hour. Oh, man. That's wild. I don't really want to do that. We are in a new library. Yeah, we've made it to Brookfield, everyone. Moving up. Moving up in the world.

From West Dallas? Yeah, I would say this is an improvement. We're secluded from the public. Well, what we don't know is that one of our esteemed guests has relations with this library. I've been to this library once before. Have you had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky? No, I have not. She did meet me in the Oval Office

and make a little spill on the carpet, though. But I just took a girl here one time in college. As a date? No, it was... I met her in Madison. Is that why you suggested this place? She was going to school in Madison. No, I just took a screenshot of all the people in the room.

You, like, really wanted to come here. I just wanted to smell my stench again. And as soon as I walked in, it did smell like stinky locker room. It did screenshot of all the people in the room. You really wanted to come here. I just wanted to smell my stench in it. As soon as I walked in, it did smell like stinky locker room. It did smell like stinky locker room in this room. It might be all the telescopes that they're unboxing next door. So, you went to Madison and you were like, hey,

come meet me at this library? No, she went to Madison and I was in Madison just visiting a friend. Oh, so near. But why'd you go to Brookfield because I'm going through the story so we met we what was we had an evening together I'm not gonna say her name we didn't even know what's her address and we came back to Brookfield we came back to Milwaukee which I was downtown Milwaukee. And she stayed another night there, but then she needed to go back to Madison. I wasn't going to drive all the way to Madison and all the way back.

So her friends met her here, and I brought her to this library. And her friends were like 20 minutes late, so we sat in the library and talked until her friends got here to pick her up. Yeah, because that's what you do in a library, talk. Well, we didn't finger. I like how you went straight to finger. Was she finger you? It was our first date. You finger her.

Depends on the night. First night. That's true. That's true. Yeah, it's our first date. You're not doing anything crazy. You know what I mean? So that's why I walked in and I go, this place is familiar.

And I did not know what it was. And I was like, oh. We're in a separate room. This is the rotary room Yeah, technically I walked all around The place Looking like this Which is great

Not a single word was spoken to me And then Kuski goes, to the right I was like, alright, I don't know what that means And then some lady was at the front desk And I went up to her and I was like, hey right. I don't know what that means. And then some lady was at the front desk, and I went up to her, and I was like, hey, is there like a group that is like have a room? And they're like, oh, the telescopes. You sent you here.

There's a telescope convention. It looks pretty big. It's busy out there. You would have seen us with these blinds open when I had to close them. He was butt-ass naked in here for a minute. I changed into my. Yeah, butt-ass naked in here for a minute. I changed into my super strong. Yeah, I let a guy in here. He had a big box, and they're like, oh, nice to see you.

He's like, you got anything else? He goes, I got the big one if you want me to go grab that out of my car. I'm like, okay. Honestly, I want to go into the telescope room. You're in disguise right now. You could go in. I one time went to a telescope convention. It was just too far away.

We're done. We're done. Calling it. Calling it. I think it's the end of the pod. Fat Chance Fall is now over in the bleak midwinter. Yeah. So I guess, well, I mean, that raises another question.

What are you doing with your life? Yeah, your life. Well, one job asked me to move to Austin, Texas next Monday. You couldn't get it done. I don't think I can get to the other side of the country in five days you can easily get to austin texas less than five days oh yeah yeah but like with my stuff and also find a place to live and have a place to live it can be temporary what's temporary the street that i'm living on yeah the box I could live out of my car, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, or... Are you looking up how long it takes to get to Austin, Texas? Yeah. It's about 24 hours. 17 hours and 48 minutes. There you go, 17 hours. It's from here. We'll type you up. With stops?

Well, you can make up time when you go fast. I drive fast. It looks like I drive fast. You drive fast. Or it looks like I drive exactly the speed limit. That's true. You're car or do you drive fast. It looks like I drive fast. Or it looks like I drive exactly the speed limit. That's true. You're car or do you drive fast? Just the back end of it, okay?

The front end is fine now. Now? It's more aerodynamic so you can drive fast again. But yeah, you have 18 hours. You can do that in one trip, one shot. Yeah. One opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. Will you capture it or just let it slip?

And it sounds like you fucking let it slip. Oh, I let it slip. You let that thing slip. You've been down there in Austin. Your knees are weak. Arms are heavy. Arms are heavy. I've been sweating so much.

That's probably because of the vomit on your sweater already. Mom's spaghetti. I did have my mom's spaghetti, yeah. What if we did an hour podcast just talking in song? Till I collapse just to go through all Eminem lyrics? I'm spilling his rap as long as you feel him. Everyone's basketball walkout music. I'm coming home.

I'm staying home. Is a house with you home if your loved ones is gone? No. Yeah? No. Honestly, you know what? I kind of like when everyone's gone. It is more of a home when everyone's out and I can just do whatever I want in the house. That's not a home. That's a house.

That's a place you operate in. That's spoken like a true person who lives with his father. That one hurt. Cut deep. Cut deep. Cut deep. How was the Milwaukee Rose last night? You know, disorganized, chaotic, but pretty good. I heard Milverine sang the National Anthem.

Oh, yeah. I was going to ask, when did you leave again? I left pretty much when Milverine got on. So he sang the National Anth national anthem and he was about four to five seconds off the music and so the land of the free home of the brave part um he was there's no music lights on just him brave and then they brought him on for a slideshow cody thought he was gonna they just put up pictures of Milwaukee And Cody's like Oh He's gonna tell us why he loves

All these places in Milwaukee And he clicks the one And he goes What's that? He goes The art museum That's it For all of them

And Cody's like You didn't shut the fuck up Before you got on stage And he's like Yeah well Now you won't shut the fuck up Alright this got on stage. And he's like, yeah, well now you won't shut the fuck up. All right. This will be great.

I think the two young bucks, uh, Aiden and the other guy, uh, killed it. Like, I think they were the best. The first Russ was the best.

That's awesome. That's great. And Reagan won it. Uh, Reagan won. She didn't want to win. They, uh,

they made it. So they tried to hunger games it. Yeah. They tried't want to win. They made it so. They tried to Hunger Games it. Yeah, they tried to Hunger Games it. What do you mean? It means they both tried to win it. So they were like, you know what? Fuck this.

The guys are trying to pin two women against each other. They want us to hate each other. And so they brought all the guys out that put it together, which was actually kind of funny. So Cody, Corey Strike, Vegas, and Brandon Wine all got in a line, and they just started roasting those four. And then Cody's like, fuck this. One of you has to win it. So they gave it to Reagan.

Oh. Yeah. I've also never seen Hunger Games, I just realized. Are they coming out with a new one? They both decide to poison themselves. They're like, oh, no. Oh, Romeo and Juliet. Yeah. Then're like, oh, no one can win. Oh, Romeo and Juliet. Yeah.

Then they go, wait. You guys both win. And then the guy that said, wait, you guys both win. Wasn't happy. Yeah, he wasn't happy. And then his boss killed him. And now he's the youngest brother in Yellowstone. That's what he got demoted to?

Yep. Yeah. It's rough. It's a rough time. Do you guys want to know? So obviously our episode came out a little bit ago. Yeah. But since Jack was in there, our NFL stats.

From what week? From week, I think, I believe week five. Yeah, four or five. We're at week seven. Yeah, let's do it. All right. I'm going to tell you, this is what I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you the numbers, and you tell me which is which.

So someone was 11-3. That was me. Someone was 8-6, and someone was 5-9. 11-3, 8-6, 5-9. That is exactly correct. 100% correct. I knew editing that. I was like, I did pretty damn good.

Because you got the first game right, and Judd and I bet against the Commanders. They were up by 20. They almost did lose it. Yeah, but that was the week before they lost to the Broncos after being up by that much. Yeah, so we're like, it'll change. Yeah. And I just keep looking at myself and was like, why would you pick that game? I'm the one who's looking at the two games. Yeah. And I just keep looking at myself and was like, why would you pick that game? I'm the one who's looking at the two games.

Yeah. You're just going off of what I say. Oh, this one. I'm like, I'm the worst picking. Yeah, you're terrible at this. I think this is the one game I've won every time. Like, I'm the best at this game. You're 11-3.

Yeah. You want to go again? We did tie the past couple times. Yeah, but I just murdered you. One time. I've also murdered Judd every time, too. That's true. That's like beating up a baby, okay?

This week, I got it, though. This week. Anything coming out of your mouth right now, I cannot take seriously. Was this more mustard? Yeah. All right. It's time for you to catch up. Let's go.

No, you don't get that in my room. I really relish seeing you in that predicament. Thank you. All right, we're going to do the game, boys. All right. Starting with the Thursday night game. That's on tonight. So this is week seven NFL season of 2023.

Fat Chance Picks. Yep. All right. So we have the Jacksonville Jaguars at New Orleans Saints. Are you going back to pictures, you autistic little fuck? Dude, I need to see things to understand them. All right. What is it?

Jacksonville at New Orleans. Jay Wars. Ooh, is Trevor Lawrence playing? I don't know. Gain time. Is Derek Carr playing? Yes. Okay, I'm going the Saints.

I'm going to go Saints as well. You guys are stupid idiots. God. Damn it. There's no way you can beat me then. No way. No way. You sneaky dog.

Sneaky dog, baby. So you got Jacksonville? Yeah. Okay. Las Vegas at Chicago. Vegas. Chicago. I have Las Vegas at Chicago. Vegas. Chicago. I have Las Vegas as well.

He already abandoned his plan. Yeah, because Justin Fields isn't playing. Oh, he isn't? Then I'm going Vegas. Nope. Vegas. You already locked it in. We're getting it. Cleveland at Indianapolis.

Cleveland. I'm going to go. Don't you dare. Say it, you pussy. Buffalo at New England. Buffalo. Buffalo as well. Washington at New York Giants.

Oh, Jesus Christ. The Giants. I'm going to go Washington. Oh, you know who to go with, Jack. Washington. I'm going to go Washington Oh you know who to go with Jack Washington I don't feel confident in these picks at all Atlanta at Tampa Bay Tampa I'm going Tampa as well

I'm going to say Tampa as well Detroit at Baltimore That's a good one This is tough This's a good one. This is tough. This is a tough one. Detroit. I'm going to sling it a little here. I'm going to say Baltimore. I'm also going

to go Baltimore. I fucking knew it. Pittsburgh at the Rams. Rams. Rams. Rams as well. Pittsburgh at the Rams. Rams. Rams. Rams as well. Arizona at Seattle. Seattle.

I'm going to go Seattle as well. I agree. I concur. Green Bay at Denver. Well, we've been sucking a bag of dicks lately. I need to step in at coach, I think, and give him a little positive reinforcement. Packers.

I'm going to go Green Bay. Don't. I'm going to go Green Bay. Okay. Chargers at Kansas City. Kansas City. Chargers. Kansas City.

Miami at Philadelphia. By the way, I Kansas City. Miami and Philadelphia. By the way, I said that. I said that. Do you know you said it wrong and then just are we locking in? I said it. Chargers. I know you said it. Chargers.

By a billion to the moon. Oh. They're six-point underdogs. You should get in. By a billion with a B. If you get this wrong, you get two losses. The way you're talking about it. But if I get it right?

You get one right. You're my chair for the next episode. Fine. You're on your hands and knees. Stretch your butt. Miami at Philadelphia. Oh, that's a good game, sir. That's a really good game. Sunday night game. Oh, that's a good game, sir. That's a really good game.

Sunday night game. Oh, Sunday night. That changes nothing. I'm going to do it. It's in Philly. I think it's in Philly. Yep. I'm going to have to say Miami.

I'm going to go Philadelphia. Oh, fuck you guys. Honestly, yeah, I think Philly. It's coming off a loss. They can't let that happen again. San Fran at Minnesota. San Fran. I think that one's going to be a piss pound.

That's going to suck to watch on a Monday. Wow. Okay. Well, that was good. Did you write to suck to watch on a Monday. Wow. Okay. Well, that was good. Did you write any of those down? I don't write them down. What did you do? I just watched the episode.

Oh, you watch these? Yeah. We suck. I watch these so I don't say anything stupid. And then I also find it like... My girlfriend told me i was an asshole last episode yeah you were yeah was i really was yeah he was i thought i was like doing good you're a real asshole to who josh i don't remember it doesn't matter he's not here no you talked to that voice last episode yeah yeah voice that one he had a he had a weird like raspy voice i was definitely still sick oh

you're still sick and you're trying to whisper because it was a library, probably. So you were feeling a little extra. Are you kidding me? Oh, Graham Crackers. It was phenomenal. Graham Crackers. Yeah, Josh was like, I'm real sick of this, and I switched out of it. Went right back.

Went right back. But I sounded like the hormone monster. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fallopian. What a savory word. All right, boys. You ready?

Oh, boy. We're going right into the game? We're going to the game. Okay. It's kind of a mixture of a game we kind of played before, but basically you're going against one another to see who can last the longest. Pumpkin pie.

I use numbing cream. Damn it. Pumpkin pie I use numbing cream Damn it So the thing is You're going to have to go off of What So

What the other person said As the last letter That's the letter you'll go off of So if I say Juice He has to say elephant Jugs Yes

But it has to be Oh I get it I get it Yeah It helps to be autistic You, I get it. I get it. Yeah. It helps to be autistic. You have to go T. I'm good with numbers, not letters. And you get 10 seconds in between.

Oh, okay. Are we saying sentences or just words? Nope, just words. So if I said elephants, he has to say something with a T. No S. I said elephants. But to make it tricky, I have a category that you have to go off of. Okay. Okay.

Because 10 seconds, we could be doing this forever. So the first one is going to be celebrities. Okay. Now, they have to be famous people. I mean, that makes them a celebrity, right? Yeah. But if I don't know who they are, automatic point against. Real name or can I say like Ted Lasso?

You could do characters just as long as they're celebrities in their own world. Like Harry Potter. Oh, my gosh. Now we're nitpicking. Only real life celebrities. Hey, side thing. Real people. Real people.

Okay, real people Anyways If I don't know who it is You have 10 seconds to Tell me Why they're a celebrity And then if I don't believe you Then I'm gonna

Okay Okay Alright Okay The first letter You guys are going off of Jack you're going first Because you're on my left

P The first letter you guys are going off of. Jack, you're going first because you're on my left. P. Pete Davidson. Nelly. Nelly. You have no chance. Yogi Berra. Albert Pujols. That's right.

Who's got this timer running? Sammy Sosa. Albert Einstein. This sucks. I hate this game. I don't like thinking like this. Nancy Pelosi. What does that end with?

You told me, dude. Ice Cube. with ice cube and that's a win for kuski that was 10 the last one i was looking right at it that's enough we're gonna probably shouldn't be doing that. I don't like that. All right. The next category, sports. Kuski, you got the win. You can start. But your letter is E. It's E?

E. The sport starts with E? E-sports. Who? E-sports. Who? E-sports. I mean, it starts with an E. Stuff that in your socks and smell it. Fuck off.

I don't know. Super Ninja Warrior shit. I don't know. Super Ninja Warrior. I'm not going to count it. Soccer would have been a great one. Snowing. Snowing.

Surfing. Shoots and ladders, man. That starts with a C. Would have counted it. Point to Kuski. All right. Next one is music or musicians. I won't take either. Kuski, All right. Next one is music or musicians. I won't take either.

Kuski, you'll start this one. Your letter is N. Nelly. You too. You said music or musicians. Or is that a U? Fuck! Checkmate, bitch.

That sucks. I knew you were going to go right to Nelly. I was like, maybe he was going to think about it because you already said it. All right, that is three points. Who's a good musician with a Y? Yanni. Yanni? Yeah. Yankovic. Yanni? Yeah.

Yankovic, comma, Weird Al. Would you have counted that? No. Okay. All right. Next one is movies. Kuski, you'll start. The letter is I.

Ice Age. Something with an E. I think Jax is getting the game now. I don't know. What starts with a fucking E? Is he another one? I don't know. I'm done playing this game, dude.

This has been a colossal failure. But Michael takes this. What would it have been? What would it have been? What would it be? I don't know. What movie would it be? Evil Dead.

Evil Dead? Yeah. It's a movie? Yeah. I can just make up fucking movie names. I bet there is a movie for everything. I probably could have said Evil something. All right.

I have four points. How many more games do you have? There is one more. The next one would be TVs. And that's in your... TV? TV? TV.

TV show? Okay. Let's see if I can get a clean sweep. Your letter is S. Simpsons. Stephen Colbert. Is there the T? Tonight Show.

W. W. There's a W. Welcome to the jungle on HGTV Okay I'm gonna count it Which what does it end with E or V E E I'm going to count it. What does it end with? E or V? E. E? I'm going to count it.

Just because you need all the points you can get. Ed, Ed, and Eddie. How's another Y coming at you, big boy? Yolanda Frankincense. You. Why? Yellowstone. Oh, another E.

I'm screwed. I don't know. Oh, Jack gets the point. Look at there. You didn't get swept. You didn't get swept. And if you noticed, the five letters was penis. Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

You're really going with the whole phallic theme tonight, aren't you? Well, I'm a dog, you know. Nice. Really going with the whole phallic theme tonight, aren't you? Well, I'm a dog, you know. Roof, roof. But I do have some questions for you guys. And since it is a spooky season.

Oh, wow. Okay. It is a spooky season. Yeah. Do you guys have any ghost stories? Yeah, I do. Yeah. You got a ghost story?

Kind of. Let's hear it. So it's actually like a, I've told it on here before. You ever heard of the Mary Knoll House? Mary Knoll House? Yeah, the whole bag house. The what? The hoo-ha house?

Never heard of it. Mary Knoll House. Our parents grew up with this legend that they lived on the lake, Our parents grew up with this legend that they lived on the lake, and the father and son went out on the lake, and she watched them basically go over the horizon kind of thing, and they never came back. And she kind of went insane. Like her, I believe, real-life husband and son passed away. And then she just decided to become an artist

and built all these weird structures in her yard. It's a museum now. You can find it. The reason I found out about it is my uncle gave it to all his brothers and sisters on my dad's side, this book about it. So I'm reading through it. And then one Christmas break, I text my friends. I go, we should go check this out. So we go down to the address that they have.

And the address they have isn't the address to this house. It's, like, out of a movie. You're going down, like, a canyon, hills on each side, house on the top, all woods, one light. I'm like, this is pretty creepy. And, like, you get to the directions that you plug in your phone, and you just stop in the middle of the street. I'm like, what the fuck?

And so we go find, like, the street to get us to the lake because it's right on the lake and we find the house and there's people that just live around this house and i'm like all right we can't like be seen sneaking on like getting over the fence and whatnot so we drive around looking for a parking spot and we go to the end of this cul-de-sac and i wouldn't say this necessarily ghost story but like a paranormal story um freak me out so we get to the end of this cul-de-sac and we look up and it's one of those um you can tell it's like a bathroom window on the top of the house like just one window and lights on and it's just full on like up looking out and we're like what the fuck there's nothing in the window a person oh there's a person yeah but like shades but you can tell they're looking out i'm like that's that's kind of weird i'm like okay and the light just goes out i'm like weird keep like going around and then we look in the back of the house and i'm not kidding there are

three little girls in white dresses i it scared the shit out of me white dresses little children scare me the most in horror films yeah because they should be the innocent ones three little girls in white dresses just dancing singing playing in the back of the sunroom where they hang out they're they're they're in the house but it's like a sunroom and you can see them and there was like no ball no nothing they're just dancing singing all in the same dress i'm like what the fuck and i was like go go go they're like wait no we want to see, so they backed up, they were gone, so two or three of us saw him, one guy didn't, we then go, and, like, that's, like, the weirdest part, but, like, we then go, we sneak onto the beach, and get onto the house, and then someone's,

like, like, this felt weird, just being on the house, there's statues everywhere, I'm like, I think I'm ready to go. And that would be the only scary thing I've ever encountered in terms of ghosts. But you said that the house that you went to. It wasn't even the house that we went to. It wasn't the house that's in the book. Yeah. So, no, the house that is in the address they give you in the book takes you to the middle of a road, no lights, no nothing, hills on both sides, house on top, one light.

Someone's definitely watching you kind of thing. And then we try getting to the Mary Knoll house. It's fenced off. We end up hopping a fence and kind of getting in there. And then the house around the corner is where I saw the man looking out the window. Light goes off. Go around to the back three girls in white dresses I mean that's not like normal attire I think now for people our

age is flowy white dresses just dancing and playing well past your bedtime what time what time is it I mean it was dark out so it's at least eight o'clock that's wild yeah they scare me a little bit but jack do you believe in do you have any scary stories um i don't have any scary stories uh i don't think i believe in ghosts i kind of do but i don't want to okay but i will not i don't like scary movies i will not watch scary movies that's fair the entire time i watch a scary movie like picture like the screen of the camera being the tv screen right at the black part above where the picture is just to pretend i'm watching a movie with everyone so they think i'm not scared but i just said they're like this the whole time i'll do it for three hours i don't care i don't like

them either there's only one i've ever liked just because there's like a good storyline that as above so below but i don't the paranormal ones freak me out that was another one of my questions what is what is your favorite scary movie and i i know like it's not as scary i kind of like the saw ones because they were more of a thinker and i love yeah who done it um but like the saw was like oh what's gonna happen it's like. Who done it. But the shot was like, oh, what's going to happen? It's like, how are they going to get out? And how are... But it's very violent and graphic. Very violent.

That wasn't like... Yeah. I didn't care about that. Well, that's a good three-click. I like the mystery, the suspense stuff. Yeah. I like those movies in general, the ones that make you think. What's the one you said?

As Above, So Below. It is the only scary movie, truthfully. Is that where they go to? The Catacombs in Paris. Yeah. Yeah. It's the only movie that I've ever, like, usually I'll do what he does and I can play off.

I'm like, oh, that was, ew. I was actually, like, on top of the couch. I'm like, fuck this shit. I did not like it at all. But I loved it at the same time. Either one of you has seen Cabin in the Woods? Yes, it was crazy though at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a bunch of wildly trippy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that one I thought was well made because it wasn't like your normal horror movie. So I thought that was nice. You ever see, what is it, Get Out? Yeah. Would you consider that a horror movie?

Or a thriller? Yeah, I'd say thriller. I like that one. I like thrillers. I can do thrillers. I like that one. I like thrillers. I can do thrillers. I like that one. That one was freaky, though. Anything with real-life people, monsters, I can kind of handle.

But if it was real-life, cult-y stuff, I'm like, this could actually happen kind of thing. Probably has happened somewhere. How are you with zombies? I can do zombies. Yeah, zombies. Yeah. I can do zombies. i can do zombies i'm not like a big fan of any of the zombie movies like i haven't seen a good one okay zombie apocalypse what is the first thing you were grabbing do i have like do i own it do i have to own it or can

i go steal it from somebody it's zombie apocalypse you are it's first thing i'm grabbing man for themselves i used to say as a kid that if there was a zombie apocalypse, our neighborhood was so well equipped with weapons, we would probably last a while. We were definitely going to our house. You going to Franklin? Yeah. But we're on the outskirts of Franklin.

What did I do? The redneck rejects. I made it out. As you can see, I'm now coaching a Premier League team. I wouldn't get a gun. First thing, would you get a gun? I don't know. I know what I would grab.

My brother has an actual bat with nails and spikes sticking out of it. He has one of those. Which brother? The middle one. I'm concerned. I'm concerned. I truthfully believe steven could overthrow a government if we needed him to like he's such a secretive quiet guy if he doesn't already run shit

he could easily do it he just i no one knows where he is at any point in the day just all of a sudden like when you go in this room like why do you have like what's the name of that uh the bat the bat with like nails and whatever there isn't one i've only seen that one time in real life and i actually tell it tell about it on stage because it's so fucking weird what yeah i went to go buy uh marijuana in college okay and the person that we were buying from like had that bat like sitting in front of them and i like and i didn't notice it at the beginning how much i looked at it and i like couldn't contain my laughter because it was like so cartoonish like i've never expected that to be a thing but imagine if they

picked it up you'd be like all right i'm gonna shit my favorite thing is like a bat's gonna do just as much damage what what's the nails gonna do but then but here the thing. You hit someone in the head with a bat, they're going to die. You hit someone in the head with a bat with nails sticking in it, guess what? You have to pull the bat out of their head. And there's a zombie coming in. Zombie number two is coming in real quick. Well, see, the bat with nails is so you can aim wherever.

Bat with no nails, you kind of got to aim for the head if you're trying to kill them. If you break their leg, they're done. Then you hit them on top of the head. You hit someone hard enough with a bat. You might as well get a metal bat. You don't want a wood one either because that's going to break. Yeah, you got to get a metal one. You need a metal bat. I was thinking a sword.

Sword? Sword would be sweet. I would love a sword. You would cut yourself with a sword. Nuh-uh, dude. I've had swords before. I'm definitely getting a gun. I used to have sword fights in my basement in high school. Everyone's birthday, I would go to the sword store in Appleton and I'd buy them a sword. Then we'd eventually have sword fights. I'm getting a gun. I used to have sword fights in my basement in high school. Everyone's birthday, I would go to the sword store in Appleton, and I'd buy them a sword. Then we'd eventually have sword fights. I'm getting a gun, and if things I readily have available, a gun and probably a lacrosse stick.

Lacrosse stick would be fine, but it's not going to be that. It's not that effective. I'm just being realistic with what I have readily available. Also, big problem right now, getting ammunition. So a gun might not last too long. That's the one thing I have about guns is getting ammo. Eventually you're going to run out of ammo. You've got to make your own.

I've got to make my own. What am I, the run-through? How do you make your own ammunition? Mel and the Patriot. Well, I mean, depending on what type of gun you've got, but usually you've got to. You've got a hot dog shooter gun you get at the games, don't you? Just launching yourself at them. There's a bunch of zombies running around with hot dogs sticking out of their eye holes.

Have you seen that, though? Like Like Brewer Games now, they have Brat guns. They're just launching Brats. They don't go very far, but... I just want one day, or one time in my life, shoot a t-shirt cannon. Oh, yeah. I want to shoot the Brat gun and I want to go right at someone just...

I think that's how I die. T-shirt cannon. If I go pick a way to die, someone shoots a T-shirt cannon and hits me right in the head. Do you want to catch a T-shirt or do you want to shoot the T-shirt? Either one. I want to do both. I want to shoot it more than anything. I've never caught – I don't think I've really caught anything at a sporting event.

I've never caught a foul ball. Also, I want – Yes, I'm too short to get it, okay? But now I'm on the field, so I can get whatever I want – yes, I'm too short to get it, okay? But now I'm on the field, so I can get whatever I want. Wait, I did catch a football. I want to be the guys that throw this stuff because I feel like I got a better arm than the people that actually do throw it. So you're like, you know what? When your second deck – you know what?

I can see you. Maybe I'll get one up there. The hopeful kid that couldn't afford – parents couldn't afford the more expensive tickets. Like, I got you, little Billy. And then I come in and grab that. And then, yeah. And then. I couldn't afford those seats either, bitch.

Well, at the Bucks game, it's the dancers that throw it. Oh, so everything's first two rows. It's like. Everything's first two rows. It looks like... Everything's first two rows. It looks like they're throwing left-handed always. So what's your favorite trick-or-treat candy? Ooh, can we rank them? How many did we get?

Just one? I'll give you top three. Okay, top three, top three, top three, top three. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. This is not your top three I know I can comment I'd rather you not Free country I'd rather you not

Free country I do what I want I do what I want Reese's Peanut Butter Cups I'm gonna say it one more time Reese's Peanut Butter Cups I kind of like the little Skittle packages. Oh, okay.

They make your pee-pee smaller. Maybe like a Twix. Ding, ding, ding. That's a good one. Yeah. Okay. Give me yours. That didn't say anything yet.

Yeah, it's already. Give me a... How hard is it to do that with this mustache on? It's probably pretty tough. Pick my target wisely. I like a good Twix bar. You can give me one of those. Also a solid fan of like a dark chocolate Milky Way.

What? I'm sorry. Please shut that microphone up your ass now. What is that? They're so good. And Noah wants Way. What? I'm sorry. Please shove that microphone up your ass now. What is that? They're so good. And Noah wants them. What? They're so good.

And then Dots. Yeah, fucking get up. No. Yeah. No. Because the only time you get Dots, Halloweenlloween yeah because they're a shit candy no they're not you know what i will give you the dark chocolate milky way because those are good i don't know if it's top three but dots is the most insane thing you have ever said

no i'm yeah. I think it. Which is crazy to think that that's the craziest one. Dots? Dots are great. They're not number one, though. They're not number one. See, now a follow-up question. I'm like, what are your three underrated Halloween candies?

I would have accepted Dots. Dots would be underrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dots are underrated. That's why I like them. I like the underrated Halloween candies because guess what? I could trade for all of them. Dirt cheap prices when I was a kid.

I had a Monopoly. I think Baby Ruth is the underrated Halloween candies because guess what? I could trade for all of them. Dirt cheap prices. When I was a kid, I had a monopoly. I think baby Ruth is an underrated candy bar. Very underrated. That's scary. I mean, that's an old person thing. So the packaging, the packaging is an appealing to kids.

The packaging is an appealing. It looks like, what is your top three though? Top three for me might be a little bougie, but I, I like a good cookies and cream bar. I was waiting for it. I actually used to like those

until I ate them so much one time I threw up cookies and cream for grease. Were you trick-or-treating in Franklin or what's going on? I also liked... Any type of gummy was always good. Yeah. Not gummy.

That's just sticking your teeth. And then here we go. The Starburst. Oh, yeah. That were in the packages of two. Yeah. And then you get two red ones. Ugh.

Yep. You're right. Just jaded my peas. Starbursts are a great Halloween candy. It's great. What I kind of liked for a while, the hot tamales. I like those. I'm not a fan.

They're all right. They're all right. They're also like a little spice. Once when you get the little mini sodas. Remember when the little mini sodas came out? Those were sweet. Oh, like the nip and sips? Did you ever get those?

No, like the mini cans. Oh, an actual can of soda? Never gotten one of those. They're sick. They're a nice little refresher while you're out there? actual can of soda never gotten one of those they're sick the nice little refresher while you're out there i uh one house used to give out like the individual packs a little little hamburgers remember those oh those are unbelievable the crabby patties are great okay what kind of person were you um house just leaves a bowl out says take one to three or something like that

how many are you taking? I always took three. I always took the max of what I was allowed to. I never dumped a bowl in. If you ask my mom, I probably took too much. Because I'm also the same person that when they have mints at the front desk or front desk, I'm like, all right, well, might as well get it. You never know. Oh, I did that checking into our hotel this week, and I had six Tootsie Rolls as Rachel was checking into our hotel.

She goes, what are you doing? I'm like, I had six Tootsie Rolls. She goes, okay, time to take you to the room. Let's go in the room. Yeah,

but they're free. Absolutely. And then I took a chocolate mint to go and I had a regular mint on the way out. Andy's mints are good. Andy's mints?

Andy's candies, yeah, those are great. I used to work right next to their facility and they used to try to fundraise and they'd give you

a bucket of Andy's candy to try to make you... It worked. It worked well. That's actually a really good idea. What's your favorite fictional Halloween character? I was like Captain Hook like five years in a row. I was a pirate like five years in a row.

So Captain Hook or like Jack Sparrow. I don't know if I quite necessarily understand the question. Whatever you want the question to be. Like a Halloween costume? Or do you like Michael Myers? Do you like... Oh, okay. I mean, it's up to you.

Whatever you want. I'll be honest. I like Halloween as a party. Not into Halloween movies. It's not Christmas to me. Do you ever meet those people that Halloween's their identity? Yeah.

It's just because they didn't have good Christmases. Yeah. That's the whole reason. They don't have good family values. If you like Halloween, you didn't have a good Christmas. Santa didn't come.

It's because you didn't have good family values. You weren't excited to have your whole family together on Thanksgiving. You weren't excited to have your whole family together on Thanksgiving. You weren't excited to have your whole family together on Christmas. You woke up in the morning on Christmas Day. Santa forgot you were there. You had coal in your stockings. On Halloween, you can go to strangers' houses, and you get all the good stuff.

And then you get to dress up like a creepy, sad person for one day out of the year, and you're excited about it because your family's falling apart. What would be worse, having nothing in your stocking or coal coal actually nothing would be worse coal's pretty sick because you could you could do but no like nothing you'd be like maybe he forgot to coal's like no he deliberately says i'm a piece of shit well you know yeah he's like go go fix yourself you change your act that next year. Do you ever get blank and get coal in your stocking? We always got coal gum. Coal gum. One time Santa forgot to come.

Wait, are you trying to say coal gate? Coal gum? Yeah, it's like, it's just little pieces of black gum that look like coal. It's like grape kind of or something. It's just shitty gum, but it's a knick-knack. That's fun. Yeah. We had fun. Yeah. We had good family values.

One time Santa forgot to come, and I was really bummed about it. And then my parents told me to go get the mail. Guess what? There's no mail on Christmas. But they got me. All right? So I went out, and Santa was running late, so he parachuted all of his presents into our yard. That's fun.

I'm starting to sense he didn't have good family values in Christmas. I mean, I don't have Christmas in, like, July or anything. I had it in September. That's because my mom's leaving me because my family's falling apart. But guess what? I still don't like Halloween because I'm a grown man. You're going to be liking Halloween more and more every year. I think I was a ninja, like, five years in a row. Ninja's easy. Yeah. I was a grown man. You're going to be like in Halloween more and more every year. I think I was a ninja like five years in a row.

Ninja's easy. Yeah. I was a cow once. I was a football player. No shit. Of course. If a hot dog person was a real person, what are the two parents? Bun and dog?

Bun and dog. Probably two buns. Two buns? No, you need a bun and a wiener in there. But then if you had sex relations with another food item, what could you have relationships with that would create an actual food item? Pigs in a blanket. Oh, yeah.

But what would that create? Croissant rolls, pigs in a blanket. Pigs in a blanket. If I had sex with a croissant? Oh, yeah, pigs in a blanket. Okay. Okay. Well, no, but you still have your bun. dogs oh so corn yeah okay okay corn barbecue sauce could be that like cocktail weenies in the sauce a little smoky a little wet and wild

honestly finger foods are they're the best the best way to eat is grazing. It's the best way to eat. Absolutely. Me and Josh were at that wedding, and they came out with so many hors d'oeuvres. And it was like specific people had different things from before. I was full before the meal came. Yeah. I was running down the fucking crab cakes. That's the best. It's just a bunch of mini appetizers. And I'm going to be honest with you,

at every restaurant, the appetizers always look the most enticing. The appetizers are so good, you want to get one every single one. you can do multiple. And I like options. So you can like, a little bit of this,

a little bit of that, a little bit of this. Meanwhile, you're stressing over dinner, because you're like, what if I don't like it? Yeah. Meanwhile,

everyone's going to share the appetizer. I'm like, every appetizer is going to be good. Yeah. Also, what's the worst appetizer? Stuffed mushrooms. Yeah, because

they're also so hot when you get them too. You have to wait for them to cool off. Just get onion rings or fries. Worst or overrated? Overrated? This might be controversial. I think a lot of places, mozzarella sticks are overrated. I think...

Just frozen mozzarella sticks. They're not good anyway. Yeah, they're... I think I'll enjoy it, but there is such a... I don't know. What is it? High ceiling or forum that no one ever gets to. Very rarely are you going to get a good mozzarella stick.

Unless you're at the fair, you're not getting good mozzarella sticks. I wouldn't even say that. Like the fair. They're getting worse every year. I think the problem with fair food, and I was talking to Rachel about this, is a lot of it looks so enticing, but they're cranking it out so fast that it's not like made very well. It's like that oil they're cooking it in is the same oil over and over and

over again they're just throwing shit in there you just you did just go to the fair i did um i can confirm north carolina state fair sucks balls compared to the wisconsin state fair so cool um now did i have fun i did um what i'd like about the wisconsin state fair and i'm gonna report back to you guys now on this one um is the portions at at least what I like about it is you can try a bunch of new foods. I love trying the new foods. Portion sizes are reasonable where you can go with someone, you can split it, and you're not full after one meal. North Carolina State Fair, it's like you're buying a meal.

All their new items are just a meal and i'm like i can get one thing and that's it and i don't like it that way other problem is the uh the alcohol rules there lame uh that would be underselling it it was terrible we couldn't find beer anywhere and then like there's one area you can buy beer you had to get id'd and then they give you a wristband and then you had to go purchase a ticket to get the beer and then you can only buy one at a time and they're like yeah one 12 ounce beer per id you need to have your id on you you need to be here the other id needs to be here so you couldn't get it for your lady and they're like all right we'll see you in a little while you have

to come back and get you have to go do the whole process again and i was like um this sucks that's yeah that's pretty crazy that's lame there's times where i'll be like hey can i just get the reason i have to keep coming back in line they'll be like yeah sure the one i wanted to do i wanted like two so like we're good yeah we're like hey rach stay out here get us a table i'll go get the beer and like no I need both IDs. And that's the second time that's happened to me in North Carolina where I was like, we both came up. And I was like, hey, can I have these two beers? And then can I get like a four-ounce or a six-ounce of this one because Rachel wanted to try something. And they looked at me like I asked them to worship the devil.

And they're like, absolutely not. I'm like, why? They're like, 16 ounces per ID. And you're already there. I'm like why like 16 ounces per id and you're already there i'm like holy it's an extra four to six ounces what do you think i'm gonna do you're gonna sell it to young kids exactly that's insane now i think we're a little over the top over the top with drinking here like you can do whatever um and i asked like other people like what are your drinking laws like when can you get like oh we can get whatever you want can you not like no we can't get it after nine they go nine i go yeah for good reason because at about 11 o'clock you go i don't think we're drunk enough

yeah there's there's places i know that sells on midnight yeah i remember yeah you came over for that slumber party and there was that they're not supposed to but oh yeah yeah they probably ring it up as like a bunch of cow tails and this guy came in last night at 1230 and got

19 cow tails yeah $30 worth of cow tails a pack of 30 cow tails insane that's very funny I do have another question how much money

would it take you to stay overnight in a haunted place? Follow-up question. What kind of haunted place? That's a good question. I would say like an abandoned hospital.

That's up there for one of the worst ones. History of dangerous activities? History of it like hurting people? I mean... In a hospital? Yeah, like a mental hospital? Yeah, mental hospital. I like that one.

There you go. Mental hospital. How much money? Five grand. Five grand? I think that's reasonable. Yeah, it's like something that's most likely not going to happen. I think I'd want to see 10.

I think I'd want to see 10. Mainly because the mental warfare I'm going to put myself through is going to be tough. Is it by myself? Yeah. Definitely by yourself. I'm going 50. Just because I need... You need some money that changes

you after it. Yeah. Where are you sleeping? I'm sleeping at the front door. You can't. front door. You can't. I am. You can't. You got to sleep in the basement? That's where they get you. Front door.

Just lean it up against. Time's up. Open it and gone. Oh, shit. The ghost did that. Yeah, I haven't even been looking at my camera that much. If there were people if I could bring people

I would do it for free I'd do it for give me a grand and I could bring like five friends yeah that seems about right cause that'd be a lot of fun it'd be a lot of fun

I think it could be it could be fun for like a little bit you know you remind me of this the second Pirates of the Caribbean. Have you seen that one? Where the guy's in the conch shell and his head turns in it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know what you're talking about. I'll pull it up for later. It's just funny that you can move and the costume doesn't move at all. I know. That's pretty wild. I could probably turn my head all the way around. I think that was a great purchase. I think it was.

I can wear this jacket whenever, which is nice. Yeah, because you still have the tag on it under your armpit. Do I really? Yeah. Oh, shit. You can return it. Not anymore. Four-piece set, one jacket, one visor, one mustache, one whistle.

It's crazy how expensive Hollywood is. It's stupid. Hollywood's very expensive. I mean, this is reasonable. 23 bucks? That's not bad. But a one-piece jumpsuit to be a Ninja Turtle was $70. A real Ninja Turtle? A real Ninja Turtle.

Shell and all. Yeah. It's also like, when are you ever going to use it? Never. I could do this again if I really needed to. Are you guys doing anything probably? I'm going back to North Carolina. We're going to an App State game.

Nice. I don't think we're dressing up or anything. I'll bring this. Yeah. Go get me another mustache. Yeah, go to the bars and it'll be fun. Yeah. Jack?

You're going with your nephews or something like that? Yeah, I'm going to get my first drink of the month with my nephews versus Donald Duck. Oh, you're going to end it? That seems like the time to have your first drink with kids. Well, not my first drink ever. Having to deal with kids? I was going to get violently drunk off two drinks.

I do look forward to that one day is when your kids are trick-or-treating and you're the parents that have like that red wagon, but it's just a bar. Trick-or-beer? Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. They're like, hey, go get the candy. And then as they come back, you hold the bag and you're like, where are those fucking dots?

Yeah. They wouldn't miss those. You're going to have a field day. I'm going to have a field day with dots and the dark chocolate Milky Way. I always went for the things that people didn't like so I could trade for them. Do you know you could just go buy Dots, right? Yeah, but not when I was four. You're big in trading.

Yeah. You're big in surviving on trades. I was just like, I wanted to get the good candy. Oh, another one? Another underrated one? Nerds. Yuck. Nerds. What? Kit Kats are good. Kit Kats are good. Kit Kats are one. Another underrated one. Nerds. Yuck. Nerds.

What? Kit Kats are good. Kit Kats are good. Kit Kats are great. Kit Kats are good. Okay, you can give me a nerd rope. Yep. Not nerds, though. Yep.

I just learned nerd clusters are good. The nerds come in those little boxes, and it's just like one. Yeah, a little shot. A little shot. Starting you out. Good. Good stuff. I don't mind nerds. I think i went through a phase with nerds

you're a nerd face you're still in it you dork nerd that was always the best joke when you see someone eating nerds you're like ha ha look look i'm eating nerds what did you think of getting just like the regular mini hershey bars i think that was the most underwhelming thing to get. Yeah, you're always like, okay. Imagine if they were almonds. Because even like, I'll admit it, every once in a while, I'd throw a dot back because it's different.

Is it the best? No. But the regular Hershey bar, I'm like, this bores me. All right. Regular Hershey bar, probably not eaten as much. But it is good. Hershey Kisses on the other hand. Eat way more frequently.

Yeah, way better. You'll have a Hershey Kiss way more than you'll have a little bar. Best way to eat a Hershey Kiss? On top of a peanut butter cookie. That's true. That is probably top tier Christmas cookies. I don't consider it a Christmas cookie. What do you consider?

Just a cookie? Just a cookie. Really? You can have those at any time. What do you think of heath bars sorry i didn't mean i'm a good heath bar i love yeah yeah i love cold like that uh yeah i put my oreos in the fridge which is not a good that's a good move that's a good move yeah um but i i like i like uh like the Christmas turn from October candy to the Christmas candy. Because Christmas amps it up. Exactly. That's my car.

Shit. It also looks like you have a boner. What Christmas candy do you think amps it up? What brings it to the next level? Everything has some sort of peppermint in it. You have peppermint in it you have peppermint bar oh peppermint bark shut the fuck up peppermint bark's amazing best part peppermint bark to get costco telling you right now it's perfectly like thin it's not too thick it's not too thin. Great ratio. But, like, how does that happen? Like, because obviously Halloween is known for its candy. It's known to have candy, not its candy.

I think you just like peppermint. I like peppermint, but also, like, I'll do, they make, for Halloween, or for Christmas, they do angel food. They do, like, the. Angel food is the best candy ever in the entire world. It's so good. It's so good. Yep, absolutely. But you don't have it for fucking Halloween.

No, it's only Christmas. Yeah. I don't know if I've really ever had angel food. It's so good. M so good Yep absolutely But you don't have it For fucking Halloween No it's only Christmas I don't know if I've Really ever had Angel Food It's so good Manderfield's is the best We're gonna get you Some Angel Food I think you

You bring Angel Food I'll bring the Peppermint Bark Um Christmas episode That'd be great Angel Food's so good Oh my gosh

You just got me Riled up for Christmas It's so weird Dude you're gonna be here For when we're Riled up for Christmas And I'll definitely be back for some Christmas episodes.

Holy shit, this place is going to be jolly as fuck. It's going to be so good. I'm so excited. Oh my God, hot angel food. Yeah, it's so good.

I'm so hungry right now. I haven't eaten dinner yet. We should go eat some dinner then. First of all, we have to show off the socks and you have to show off those sweet, sweet thighs, Jack.

Sweet thighs. Socks up. And these little, little sweet, sweet thighs, Jack. Sweet, sweet thighs. Socks up. And these little hot dogs. They'll get good socks. Hospital socks on today. You've got some good thighs showing off. Stand up. Show those beats up.

Look at those daddies. This is fun. We need to You know I'm gonna be honest with you If we're ranking libraries West Allis is better Fuck you It feels like there was more Condensed

Since I walked all of it Yeah Today But Yeah the vibes were Were more library Well we're in a conference room. True.

That's why it feels less library. Yeah, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. But just watch out. We'll be coming to a library near you. If you have suggestions in the Milwaukee area, I should probably talk into the microphone. If you have suggestions for us to film somewhere for free because i am paying you shit

um maybe message us this would be great message judd someone that wants to suck our toes are gonna tell us to do in their living room you know message the fat chance page that works there you go perfect cool well i'm gonna go trick-or-treating together i I'm going to be gone. I can't. That would have been a fun video. Trick-or-treating? Yeah. Brandon and I did that apple picking video. Yeah, I re-watched that and I cringed at that video.

It's a fucking good video. I love that video. It was a good one. I pulled an apple out of his... Or he pulled an apple out of my butt. He was so mad. I was like,

it would be really funny if you pulled an apple out of my butt. He's like, no, Jack, we're not going to do it. I was like, no, we got to do it.

It's going to be good. Absolutely not. Don't do it. You look genuinely happy in that video got to do it. It's going to be good. He's like, absolutely not. Don't do it. You look genuinely happy on that video. Oh, it's so much fun. I'm a great actor. Give us your best

walk, WWE walkout and catchphrase. We already know his catchphrase. What is it? God's Gift of Gaming. Yeah, God's Gift of, but it'd be something like

God's Gift of Wrestling, something like that, but best in the business, got the skills to pay the bills. Let me tell you something, brother. I got a lot of pills and expensive taste, so I'm going to kick your ass

and his ass every day of the week. And my walkout song is probably going to be Down With The Sickness by Disturbed. Oh, wow. Or Eminem. Or Eminem and Southpaw.

That Eminem song. I am phenomenal! You cannot do anything in that costume. Everything in this costume. He doesn't have a neck. I will give you ten bucks to run around the library in that. What book are you guys reading? What?

And check out a book. Oh, yeah. A children's book. I'm being like a kid section. You should go to the telescope convention. Yeah. And just poke people with the tip. Hey, can we take a little look here?

Pluto, what are we thinking? Planet or no? What a poser, am I right? That dog was crazy. Three, two, one, done.