Fat Chance Podcast - THE CHEWZIE HIDDEN TAPES

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Slight hiccup in scheduling this week. New episode to be released tomorrow. For now, enjoy the bonus footage of Michael and Jack spiraling trying to do their first promo read.

Oh yeah, just disappear into it. You know when I try and edit the background out, it just blends in, but always only me. So like, you would disappear, but like a chunk of your chair would be there, Judd's would completely disappear, and then mine is just me and the chair are one. It doesn't look right. So Judd's been doing some Photoshop for us. Nice. Just put on a SpongeBob arm body.

It's so ridiculous. Yeah, it's been going well. Santa Claus is still here. Santa Claus is still here. I did feel a little bit left out last episode. I was like, damn, I'm missing a good time with the fellas but i've i've been uh absent quite quite was it your bachelor party no my bachelor party is in three weeks okay i was gonna say when are you getting married again may may oh that's an early bachelor party isn't it yeah but that's

usually a month two months they're pretty early but i figured if uh i do any irreparable damage you have some time to fix it yeah that's not a bad idea but the big thing is like uh we we're going up to my buddy's cabin for it yeah and so we're just like gonna go out the boat day drink there's exactly what we were talking yes i was like we gotta yeah we're gonna talk about it it's the best because i was actually at another cabin um for a bachelor party and that's like the perfect vibe you're just out there in the sun playing some beers be talking shit building a fire stupid games yep to keep our dumb minds entertained yeah some alcoholic drinks so we say even more dumb shit exactly and that's it and then like you're not going anywhere because you're in the woods no you don't get like the amount of times like i feel like bachelor parties just go absolutely

haywire because you're out like downtown somewhere the people like someone separated someone separates some people go to the strip club like some people like disappear for like the night and then all sudden you get back and you're like all the boys are hurt and someone's in trouble and no one was with each other at all like what exactly how was the part i don't know i was with a completely different group the whole time i was hammer talking to strangers the whole night so i wanted to keep everyone contained and then yeah because it's about who that group yep now my buddy's bachelor party because it was this weekend last year actually i was talking about with my friend who's in town,

California. And I was like, we did the, we went to Germantown to get him because he lives in Madison. I was like, let's get out of the city. Cause it would have felt weird. Cause he's like,

I kind of want a downtown day, but I also want the lake vibe. I was like, all right, best of both worlds. It'd be weird if we just brought you to our apartment and you slept on the couch for your bachelor party. Yeah, that'd be weird.

It doesn't feel like a bachelor party. They're just visiting us. So we got an Airbnb in Germantown in this off-the-path house. They had a pool. The family lived there too, but it was a whole separate house. And then we did one day downtown. And that wasn't bad. It's like, all right, we're here for a little bit.

Let's not all separate. And there wasn't that many of us either. So's like five of us oh so yeah easy peasy easy you know if someone's missing you have that big of a group like where the fuck's kevin been yeah i've got like 18 people coming for mine that's gonna be if we went if we were out it'd be impossible to keep also trying to get that many people in at once and an uber and ubers you'll need you can't there's a line anywhere all 18 aren't getting at once so you're already separating the group yep yeah that's not a chance separating the group tough to find places to eat yeah i didn't think about all of it's just an inconvenience getting an airbnb for 18 people real out just

yeah get a bunch of meat yeah we're getting a bunch of meat. Some buns, cheese, and you're good. One of my brother-in-laws is going to smoke ribs and then drive it up on Saturday. So I've got day one with just the boys. Day two, in-laws are invited. Don't know if they're going to come. But at least we get all the crazy shit out of the way. Day one. Day two, we can kind of hang out. We're going to hit the casino.

Because they have a shuttle. Where is it again? Like Legend Lake, Chain of Lakes. So there's like a bunch of where is that it's like hour ish away from shano maybe a little bit less so like it's like okay that's not bad no it's it's a not a bad drive and it's like fun we got one of our buddies is bringing his boat um and then the person that owns the cabin his dad's gonna be coming out and driving us around on his boat. That's even better.

You know the person who owns the cabin, so you ain't getting kicked out. No. I was very surprised they let us have it because I've been friends with them for a while, and I've destroyed their basement of their home. I've destroyed their actual, like— You'll destroy this place, too. No, I've destroyed this place as well. But I've actually been much better the past couple years, and I think that's why they were like, all right, fine.

He's trying to settle down. Maybe this time it'll be different. It might not. It's a bachelor party. Let's go over this. Oh, yeah, dude. Is this the stuff? This is actually it.

Is this the goods? This is the choosy. So I didn't think you'd actually watch the episode. So I was like, I'm going to surprise Jack. And then it didn't hit me until today. I was like, oh, he watched it. He knows exactly what he's getting. But thanks to our good friends over at Choosy.

And tell me, when you open this. Oh, there's straws. Yeah, straws. The stuff you get in it, more than I thought. More than I thought. I'm excited for this. But I thought this would be, when we were talking, I was like, he's definitely going to think it's rogue to start if I surprise him.

I got overly excited. I'm like, well, at least I can hold it. Yeah. I was like, it's going to be perfect. It's like a Yeti with a dip container. Do you got one on you? Oh, yeah. We're going to test this sucker out.

Imagine if it doesn't fit. That's the thing I was worried about because this is a little bit fat. Oh, it fits perfectly. Is it perfect? container do you got one on you oh yeah we're gonna test this sucker out well here's imagine if it doesn't fit that's the thing i was worried about because this is a little bit fat oh it is it perfect oh my gosh the machining on this equipment that's been provided to us by choosy c-h-e-w-s-i-e right z it's got a z fuck we're not doing great choosy, but this is our first time. I didn't read it yet. I didn't read it yet. Technically we're not paid, but we did get free product and it's cool.

I love this. I honestly love it. Well, the best part is, is I don't dip, but I can put whatever the fuck I want underneath here. You could put, have you seen his videos? I mean,

he's got everything under the sun. You could put underneath here. Wow. That's nice. And this is the thing. This is actually like a true ad read for this. The one thing my lady hates about me having these is the circle. Oh, God, yeah.

No lady likes their circle ring in the back of your jeans. And they're like, oh, shit. Now my fiance, husband, boyfriend looks like a fucking delinquent. And now I can hide this. I can take this around in front of my in-laws. I can take it around in front of my in-laws. I can take it around in front of my girl's friends. I can take it in front of my family and they wouldn't even know a thing.

And it fits just about every bottle. Yeah, it's got bottles. It's got tall boys. It's got short cans. This is sick. I think he has multiple sizes. It comes with a sticker and a lid in case you want to make a cocktail in it.

So you could do cocktails with this, too. And so if you're like, you know, a vodka soda guy and a dipper. Yeah. Oh, you can. Oh, shit. Yeah. And then it doesn't fit. For all our ladies inners out there, we have a straw because I don't know how many guys are drinking out of a straw.

I don't know how many, but wow, this is nice. But, yeah, you get a nice sticker. So it can do bottles. Tell me he should not have this product at the golf outing. This needs to come to the golf outing because there's a lot of boys. It's all blue-collar workers. There's a lot of boys out there that are going to be doing this. Go look at the sponsor list now.

It's just people who work, you know, six to three kind of jobs and probably side jobs on the side this would be great too they can put their coffee in it yeah their morning coffee it's phenomenal this is great good job choosy thank you choosy thank you choosy very much i i gotta get judd his i don't know what i'm gonna put underneath mine um i think like starbursts or skittles maybe you can put cash hard cold cash i should better than keeping on my bathroom counter yeah yeah that's great just my quarters if i get any quarters then i'm gonna put my laundry money in there wow this is nice it's nice i like this yeah i could bring this to work that's what you can keep that i'm going to

i'm gonna write jacks on it this is cool, this would be good to hand out to the boys at the bachelor party. Maybe we could reach out and see what we can do for his bachelor party. Can I get 87 of these? Well, I want him to bring them to the event because I think it would be so fun to have these there. Yeah. Put a few Fat Chance stickers on there. Throw the Cheesy stickers on there. Do a little collab.

Yeah. And then the best part, I think do a raffle one or two. And then the rest of them, you could sell this. Sell these easily. You could sell those easily. People would be lining up. Everyone's going to be hammered three holes in. So we have them four holes in.

And they're like, yeah, I can spend my money today. We stationed this young man with his choosy brand on, I think, front nine. Is it 18? Full 18? Full 18, yeah. Put them on the front nine, probably the ninth hole. Ninth or eighth hole. People are going to just start getting drunk.

They're going to get excited. They're not going to be too drunk. Well, it's a shotgun start, so the ninth hole for someone could be like... Oh, yeah. So I'm thinking we have them after and just one of the holes. One of the holes and you sell them afterwards. Here's how. Flying down from Maryland.

Come here. Didn't mean to give away your location but wow this is this is nice i like this whatever oh god i'm so excited i love things i love gadgets i do too it's i'm worked up right now i didn't so when i reached when he reached out and i reached out i was like yeah just send me your address i was like oh my god we're actually getting something this is happening this is happening this is happening and i was so excited for you not even me i was like jack is gonna fucking love this i'm so jazzed right now and my problem is is like stuff like i can keep a secret but stuff like this i can't because i'm like i just want to show them i want to show them and i was golfing with judd last saturday and i found out he's like yeah i'm

sending them to you boys i was was like, all right, sweet. And I'm like, I got a surprise for you guys. I'm like, it's a big one for Jack, I think. He goes, did you get rogue? I'm like, okay, I know that's where everyone's going to go. Not yet. Not yet. But this is kicking the front door.

I'm like, I have something just as good. And I'm like, I'm not going to tell you because I want it to be a surprise. And then we got drunk, and I was like, all right, I'm going to tell you because it's for want to be a surprise and then we got drunk and I was like All right, I'm gonna tell you cuz for Jack and I told him and then he's not gonna watch this He's not gonna watch this. I'm like mother. I knew I had to watch it cuz I knew I knew my name was gonna Get brought up. I knew it and as everyone saw my my jerking off That's a guarantee every time someone's my name gets brought up in the comedy world What we talking about you're talking about jerkking off but aj actually did my like my squat on the chair yeah dude his um

river story so good also i have a whole extra 30 minutes from that episode oh yeah like on the back half after he went to pee um that we're gonna start putting on a Patreon. Oh, you're doing Patreon? Well, this is my idea, and I said it on the episode, well, in the extra part, is we do this, and then usually when one of us pees, we're about an hour in, and then the rest, we're kind of finally just hanging out. It no longer feels like a performance. So it felt so casual. We were talking about stand-up, and no offense,

but I don't think anyone really gives a shit about any of us doing standup right now. Absolutely. We're not Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. No. So like us talking about that, if you are interested in what it's like to start and be a headliner in a smaller town or something like that,

that's interesting. And stories that he's like, I have my Dan Egan story. I'll tell you guys now that you're telling me. Someone's got to pay to see it. It's not going to be on the internet. I'm like, sweet. Cool. So it's like bonus stuff.

And then maybe, I don't know, we get high one day and do it there. Yeah, no, that'd be great. I would definitely would love. Do you have a time limit today, by the way? No, my lady's gone. I got to be home to take the dog out. But other than that. But I took him out at five.

Oh, Brew would have loved it. But I took him out at five right before I left. He's he ate he pooped um he played a lot we wouldn't play what's the first beer you're gonna put in this it was the first drink i think i was gonna put this it does it does not do tall fat boys yeah but it does i think he has one that does okay like seltzers all seltzers bottles fit in there yeah when i'm done with this i'm gonna put one in right away i don't know what one i'm gonna do but i was baked well we have some truly mango lemonades i think we got two to use them oh yeah yeah we'll do that next no this is this is sweet thank you very much choosy for this i'm jazzed i'm very excited about this this is coming to the bachelor party i'm gonna show it

off to everyone be like dude i made it are now are you a sticker person or are you like okay laptop you're putting stickers on your laptop. I did in college, but. How many? Like three. Three. I think that's reasonable. If you're a guy and you got 19 of them.

No. Go fuck yourself. I got one because when I was doing my streaming, I made stickers for it, and I just made like four to test them how they would look. You're making stickers too. Maybe we'll throw one of those. You don't have to throw it on yours. I'll throw it on.

You're a part of this now. Yeah, I guess so. Fat Chance Golf. I've got to practice my swing. I thought about making you guys employees, actually. Put me in the company Amex. No, I'm dead serious. I thought about making you guys employees,

and I was in the process of making the business bank account for it right now. And I was like, what do I need for it? And they're like, all this other business business numbers your ein and all this bullshit and like but if you don't have your ein and you want to use your social security card as long as you don't have um employees you're fine i'm like well they're not going to be employees i don't want to purchase that number right now that hundred dollar purchase is worth way more than just making you guys an employee but it would be nice to say you work for me dude i would be so pissed i'd be so pissed just do it without your jack is my gm of good times that'd be hilarious you know

you'd uh you'd send me on like a run to do something with the card yeah guess who's maxing out immediately i know i'm so irresponsible such a worry of mine though because like one day i know i'm gonna have business credit cards you gotta have the right employees because i'm like hey guys why do you spend 92 a quick trip yeah i know you don't need gas i filled it up this morning uh rogues rogues and uh we got a few pumpkin pies for the road home dude that was miserable i can't believe we did that but this is sweet have we told that on here i don't know we probably maybe but it was it was miserable it was the worst worst poops i've ever had i've re-watched those videos the other day for if we didn't tell it. Me, Jack, and Brandon,

his ex-co-host. He's also been on this podcast. Funny dude. Yes. Brandon Wine. We did comedy on St. Madison about an hour and a half from where we live. Does not give you my location.

Although I have tagged my actual apartment building in our post. People know where I live. And people know you have cash on the bathroom counter. This is a very robbable location, guys. The door's locked. They are locked. They are locked. People know you have cash on the bathroom counter. This is a very robbable location, guys.

The door's locked sometimes. They are locked. But we drove back, and Brandon always stops at a Quick Trip, and he bet Jack he couldn't eat an entire pumpkin pie by the time we got home. And I remember looking at Brandon going, he's going to eat that in 20 minutes. And you ate it before we got to the next quick trip. Yeah, I ate it in, I think it was like almost, I think it was in between nine and 12 minutes. I got one bite and then it was gone.

It was so, it was first two bites. It felt like heaven. Yeah. It was, I love pumpkin pie. I'm not, it's a texture thing for me. I don't, I'm an apple pie guy. Apple pie is so good. But I think you can eat more of pumpkin pie because it goes down easier.

It's just like if you chew it up enough, you're just eating pudding. It's just pudding and crust at that point. It really is just pudding. That's all it is. It's like gelatinous pudding though. Yeah. Is there gelatin in pudding? No.

Yeah, a little bit I think because the jello makes pudding. So wouldn't there be gelatin? Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. But, no, I think it went down so easy. And then Brandon was like, all right, what are we going to do next? I was like, as long as I'm not buying the food, I'm fine. And then he gave me a party plate of Rice Krispies.

Well, we went to go get another pie. They couldn't find it. They had a frozen pie. Yeah, that would have been mean. Like, start huffing and puffing. Got you a popsicle but he asked i think he asked what's the biggest thing you got here yeah and she gave him a sheet cake of rice krispies yeah i mean like what you make cookies on that big it was gigantic it was

it's it was larger than the top of this trash can. Oh, it was two of those. Yeah. Two of the top of the trash can. If you can see that from here, you can. No, you can't. It's big. It's really, really big.

It was a lot of Rice Krispies. Yeah, like that. There you go. I think that was spot on. That looked like the box from SpongeBob. You know what I mean? I need like the... Let me do the box. You're thinking inside the box.

That's what I thought. I was going to go more Disney Channel. Hi, my name is Michael Kuski, and you're watching Disney Channel. Do you know that that is basically just a fat penis? They're just drawing fat penises on Disney Channel? They're doing what every middle school... It's a real swollen penis. It's a real swollen penis.

It's a chode. It's a chode. You got a balloon dick. Can you imagine if your dick was just like another ball no i couldn't that would be really terrible for whoever would have that jesus it's a long ball though it is a long ball it's like a like a rugby ball or undergrown an undergrown cabbage i don't know undergrown cucumber like a turnip turnip yeah it's not turnip dick turns up i'll tell you that can it is tuning in turns off this is what happens when we don't have judd judd we need your question

judd judd tell me things about myself i've gotten so much worse at this since Judd has been on. I've done research. I mean, you prepared for this? I thought about doing research today, but last time I came with questions, no research, I was asking questions, really took the wind out of our sails, I think. I think we kind of went too zigzaggy there.

The only thing I came with last episode is I wanted to give AJ a mango. Did you want a mango, too I wanted to give AJ a mango. Yeah. Did you want a mango too? I got too little. I don't want a mango. And I said I don't think I'd eat another one. I've had two in the last two days.

They're actually delicious. Mangoes are so good. Have you ever had mangoes and sticky rice? No, but I want to. It's so good. It is one of the best desserts ever. We used to go to, when I lived down in Florida, they had like a Thai temple down there like 20 minutes away and so what is it cold or is it warm cold oh yes and what was cold when I got it but they would have a market every Sunday at

the temple and they would just have all the Thai food just like lined up in tents and like market spots and like we would go all the time and if you didn't get there early the sticky rice and mangoes would be gone in 30 minutes from an opening it was so good sounds so good one of the best foods you ever had cold rice i actually enjoy um like i like grocery store sushi oh yeah it's phenomenal i like that it's cold. Because I don't like, I like getting sushi at a restaurant, but the room temperature stuff kind of throws me for a loop.

Because I grew up doing the grocery store stuff. I never went to a restaurant for it. So I'm like, sushi's cold. And then when I got it, I'm like, what's wrong with this? Yeah. I like it cold. I would say, you know the question, like what's something you don't like that everyone else does?

Here's my what I do like, and most people don't, and it's grocery store sushi. Grocery store sushi is good because you can get, like, grocery store sushi. Grocery store sushi. Grocery store sushi. Already gone. Already gone. That's tough. That is pretty tough.

Grocery store sushi. Grocery store sushi. Grocery store sushi. Nope. Sushi, sushi, sushi, sushi, sushi, sushi, sushi. Shh. This is an audio nightmare how many minutes do you think we're in

um two and a half not enough we're hurting Judd's gonna watch this and be like I need to come back I need to get back in there

but he's too busy doing shit being a comedian yeah we're new at this so we don't get booked and I don't show up so i quit i quit i

quit a long time comedy cabin for the first time this is nice it's not what i expected yeah have you been there no not yet so from the pictures it's what it looks like which makes sense but like you know like sometimes you see the pictures you get there like this isn't quite what i pictured it as yeah um so when you walk in it looks like you're about to get your teeth cleaned or you're going to like okay yeah it's in a strip mall and i thought it was its own building like next to it's like a law office and then an actual dentist kind of thing and then you just go down the hall, downstairs. Oh, boy. I have zins if you want from AJ.

Rogue, please. Also, Rogue, reach out to Choosy. I love it. It's so simple, but it's perfect. Yeah, it's great. I can't believe this hasn't been thought of. I can't believe I didn't get super baked it's perfect. Yeah, it's great. I can't believe this hasn't been thought of. I can't believe I didn't get super baked one day and was like, hey, we should probably be putting this. We should just glue it.

You know what the best part is? I guarantee you some redneck has just taped their can to the bottom of their beer. I bet that's what he did. Yeah. He was like, I probably should make something. It's actually a different setup than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was like a whole other thing on the bottom of it. Yeah. He was like, I probably should make something. It's actually a different setup than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was like a whole other thing on the bottom of it. Yeah.

And it was going to make it unwieldy tall. Like way too big. Right. No, it goes into it. It's perfect. It's the best way it could have been. I was really imagining something different. I'm glad it doesn't hold tall boys because that's just too much to hold.

It's heavy. It's heavy. you put a normal drink like a normal human being get a normal 12 ounce beer or your your seltzer throw your zinz in or your rogues or your kodiaks or your copenhagen copenhagen skull skull um fun fun fact about skull my dad used to chew Skol cherry. I know a lot of people used to chew Skol. I'm about to burp. That's why I can't talk right now.

Do it. Skol cherry. And I would like chew Skol every once in a while. There was one time I was with this roommate when I moved to New York for work for the summer. And he was sitting in my car with me. And I was like, just got a new with me and I was like just got a new tin and I was like packing it

and as I was packing it the top flipped off and I wasn't paying attention and the top flipped off and I just shot a whole tin of skull cherry how do you not feel the top come off it did but like I felt it come off but I wasn't paying attention to like what happened to it.

So I was like, bang, and I was like, oh, shit. You thought it was just loose. Yeah, and then I looked up, and he was taking a drink out of something, and he was covered in Skull Cherry all over his face, in his eyes, on his eyebrows, stuck to his eyelashes, and in his mouth. He does not chew, and he was sitting there like this. And I was laughing so hard i was laughing so hard i couldn't help him and he didn't know what to do i felt so bad um and yeah i know i felt bad he told his mom about it after i was really embarrassed have you ever had dip spit like tried it oh that's yeah actually that

was that the amount of times i've because i's yeah actually that was that the amount of times i've had because i grew up my dad choose still the amount of times i've just like thought he because he never had clear containers but he always had cups of water around so i'm like oh i want a glass of water come from inside i'm like mother fucker yep i used to always dip and spit into clear containers until a co-worker told it's disgusting. I should have full containers. Yeah. And I caught myself drinking dip spit on accident here and there. But I actually, when I did dip like long cut, I would gut it.

Really? Yeah. Because I used to spit it. And then one time I was in the car with my boss and I didn't want him to know. You had to gut it. Yeah. I didn't know. I didn't want him to know I was dipping.

And so I was just talking to him like normally and it was like a 30-minute car ride. And he was talking to me, asking me questions about stuff and I would just like respond like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then eventually like 15, 20 minutes into the car ride, I am responding with my mouth full of spit.

And so he's like, so like how's your mom doing? And I was like, good. And like trying to like, how does he not know? Well, he figured it out after I almost died because I,

there was a point where I just was like, all right, I'm going to swallow this, and I like, and then I just waited for the vomit to come. I was so nervous.

I was like, if that comes, if it comes up in this car, I am going to be fired. That's what I was like, this is going to be bad, but didn't throw up, and after that, I was like, it's so much easier not to carry a 10 or a spinner around so i just

gutted it from there on out i'd cut it for like a year and a half and then i woke up one day from a dream and quit but no yeah that's crazy that you're just like i'm done and now you're back yeah i got really hung over one time and i quit um i have no no urge to vape anymore because of that hangover that's an intense hangover usually people when they're hungover they're like give me my pen yeah it was like

just such a rough day the next day and like I didn't the thing was I didn't even want to go to the car to get a new one I didn't want to like get in my car and drive somewhere to get a new one

and so after that I was like sewing over like i went through a full day of it then the second day i was like all right we're good and like if someone has it i'll head it but it's there's no like desire to go and buy one anymore or have one around me which is great the amount of money you save not doing that shit is insane oh yeah these are nice because i can have spend five dollars for a week as opposed to when you're vaping. It's like $20 for a week, $20 or $40 for a week depending on how bad you do it. That's like what, a grand? Yeah, it's a lot of fucking money. A year?

A grand. It's really doing nothing for you. No, it's not. It's really not. And it's actually hurting you. Do you feel weird sitting here right now because I feel very uncomfortable? This is definitely strange. I'm not comfortable. My piggies aren't in the camera these are my game day socks oh yeah these are the game day socks to the guy who bought our socks these are the ones you're

gonna get um two lefts i can exchange it for the right if you'd like but i have a bunch of left socks um so we go get your feet up there oh no we're in the oh yeah you can see in the middle in the middle yeah oh this is a better shot this is perfect now um so yeah you're gonna get these um to michael frank who's like my socks would be worth it can be worth it name your price name your price um tinker i believe you said you're selling socks let us know let us know what you want for these socks i walked my dog in these i went to work to be able to buy new socks uh yes i do need new socks now i do want to talk about a fetish someone brought up okay on there one second before we talk about that fetish do you want to see something wild right now yep do i yeah look at the difference

in my ankles oh shit your left one's huge yeah gigantic i got a high ankle sprain at the boys weekend two weekends yeah i want to talk about your weekends too because i mean two bachelor parties in a row when wasn't a bachelor party we just went to go visit a buddy down there and i found the only hole in a sidewalk and high ankle sprained and look look at how bad that is that's from two weeks ago still yeah i said every like three hours i've been doing for two weeks Do you want another beard and numb the pain? I might because I want to try this thing out. Yeah, I want to too.

So when we were getting the fetish things, I got to get out of this funk of us just being in the new. Get used to these chairs. Actually, we'll just show them this. Oh, my God. Oh, you can clearly see the difference. Oh, God, yeah. Dude, who's getting these socks? Tinker?

No. No one that I know unless one of you guys has a burner account on Instagram messaging the podcast. But also, if you've got friends, tell them to watch. I think my goal is I want to get us to the 1,000 subscriber mark on YouTube. Where are we right now? You're at 7-7. Close to 8. We're close to 8, which is, I think we get to the 1,000, we can start doing more stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. We're going to go out into the public I think we get to 1,000. We can start doing more stuff. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to go out into the public, maybe do this in the woods once. Ooh, I would love a woods cast. Should we take the chairs out there? Dude, these chairs go wherever it goes, no matter what. By the way, this chair smells like a 93-year-old woman. Has been in the hospital for 93 days. That's what got my brain rolling.

I was almost going to text you and be like, hey, pack up the podcast, bring it to my place. And that's what I was going to do. Because then we could have gotten hammered, hit the pool up. Well, let me know next time. I would have gladly done that. Yeah, but I didn't know

it was going to be a hassle because if you got hammered, were you just going to Uber? I do have a spare bed. I would have just crashed on your floor, floated in the pool. Got a spare bed. Got a spare bed. That's fine. I'm going to grab us some Trulies here so we can.

Yeah, let's show this off. Do you want mango, strawberry, or original lemonade? I have no care. I have no problems. I am prepared to die. I'm going to need you to pick one. Which were the three flavors again? Mango, strawberry, or lemonade.

They're all lemonades, but it's either. Give me the mango lemonade. Okay. I'll go strawberry. Whoa, dude. Wow. The machinery on this thing. Machine work.

All right. Load her up. Are these made in the USA? No way. No way. load her up are these made in the USA um no way no way they're made wherever they need to be fucking made doesn't say anywhere

some of the I've watched some of his videos the video of him like sitting in a pond I was I was dying at it I was dying at it

I loved it I think this has been a great time, but I think we got spoiled the last couple episodes. We know he's going to have something, so we're more free, and now we're like, I don't like the pressure of being like, okay, we've got to fucking find something. Yeah, was your idea you had at least 30 minutes

of him asking something and making a game out of something? What do you think? Okay, here's a game. a game okay i like games what game would you have brought right now you think of all the variables we had i'm not in his head i could never be i told him on the episode i go there's no fucking way i thought that game was going to go as well as it did because he's like i just have a few pictures is it a j a grill or aj grill yeah and i thought it was just gonna legitimately be pictures of a j a grill or aj grill and i was my first thought was judd this is fucking stupid stupid he's like aj's grill and it was his car and he's like a j on a grill aj of aj's grill and then Drew Flaggy was in fucking sane. Was that real?

Did they actually find it? Yes. He showed me the search. That's in the Patreon part. He showed me the search and I was like, oh my God. That's so funny. That's amazing. That's great.

His Dan Egan story is great too. I want to hear that. I'll tell you it afterwards. AJ's story about the show we did with my fiance's dad there was so spot on it was so funny because I told him I was like you're not gonna like any of this and he's like I'm gonna come I'm gonna come and I was like talking to my fans I was like should I could should we uninvite him because I don't know what I was gonna think about yeah you were like what are you gonna insult my daughter thing that kind of yeah so I purposely didn't insult her at all I had her make fun of me

and all of it and I was watching his face but like she was laughing at it so i was like okay fine as long as she's laughing i don't care well okay yeah she's fine because well she's also seen it like heard it but when aj like called out like so what are you jack's dad or her dad he's like no comment i was like oh and he go up to apologize. It is what it is. My fiance's dad is actually pretty freaking cool. And AJ's also an unbelievable guy. Like, that guy needs his flowers for how much work he puts in, how funny he actually is.

Oh, yeah. Like, that whole, we didn't get into on the episode. This is going to be on Patreon. Yeah, we're getting too far. But he got fucked with the whole special thing really yeah let's put this on patreon what happened um from as far as like spark notes of it um and i wish he would see her to tell it but um actually it's a good thing he's not he did it another company produced it and they're like one of the requirements is it has to be on our channel. Now, the channel that did it is a music channel.

And he's the first comedy special on there. And so instead of AJ Grill's account putting it out and saying it was produced by this company, it's this company putting out AJ Grist specials. So then when you, the problem with like the algorithm from what I understand, and I can't talk much about it, but if someone clicks on one of our podcasts, okay,

our podcasts are going to get recommended because it's all the same shit. It's the same show. Yeah. And it's our stuff. So. It's the same show, yeah. And it's our stuff. So, like, you click on this one, my channel is going to get recommended, and it's all this stuff. You click on one of AJ's videos or something like that

or another one of this company's videos, AJ's isn't getting recommended. Right. So there is no push into getting it anywhere. Does he have... And also, their channel is all music so all music stuff gets directed there there is no comedy there there's nothing he's the only comedy person on there it makes no sense it'd be like if but if a music but if someone

was watching music and they saw that from them would they click on that no because you're there to watch music you're not clicking on so like the fan base they do have is not clicking on the comedy. It'd be like a National Geographic show being like, hey, do you want to see someone make a chocolate chip cookie? Right. And you're like, no. In the woods. Exactly. Yeah.

So, it sucks. And he's re-recording it, I believe. Oh, really? Yeah. And he knows, like, I told him, it i believe oh yeah and he knows like i told him i was like we made the joke i was like hey watch this enough so we can beat the views on his special and then they have to let him re-redo it oh yeah kind of thing i'm like hey you can't have a podcast be unless we're ro. Beat out this man.

Because there are other people we know, or you've heard of at least, that have released specials recently that have way more that AJ should be at. But the way it was put out, it wasn't put out to the world. It should be way bigger. And it looks great. And it's like the people who did it did a great job it's just the promotion part sucked yeah i i remember watching it and i've seen a lot of the jokes i haven't seen all actually i probably have seen all of them before

it's phenomenal i think i said i've i've seen all of them before oh yeah beforehand for the most part um he did change like some good stuff in there from when I've seen all of them before. Oh, yeah, beforehand for the most part. He did change some good stuff in there from when I've seen the jokes. But when I watched it, I was watching it in the sauna. I was like, okay, I'm just going to watch it because I'll focus on that, not the sauna. And I sat in the sauna the entire special. Yeah.

I was in there for an hour, almost a whole hour. I was like, okay, this is good. I didn't even think about getting out. Yeah. It's great. To be honest, if we're putting this on Patreon, I'm not even going to edit it. It's just going to be this camera. Just that camera? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's very Matt and Shane's to your podcast vibe right there. Who? Matt and Shane Gillis. Yeah. It's just a camera. Well, this is what I want. Do we like this idea? If I get...

I like this. What color are we thinking? I'm thinking green. You're going to be green or blue. Green or blue. My girlfriend thinks purple would look good, too. Purple would actually be pretty fucking fire. Good call.

The problem is I almost pulled the trigger on a green one, but it was a swivel one. And something about the swivel just feels like trying to get everyone in frame. Because right now, this is the colors I wanted already. I have orange, you get yellow, and Judd was going to get green. And I just feel like Judd would swivel so much. Yes. We'd swivel way more. Yes.

Like I'd be doing circles. Judd would anchor his feet in place and not move. But Judd with his games are moving. Having Judd in the middle, though, with the swivel would be perfect because when he's playing games, he could like. Yeah a yeah just all right now i like the dynamic the dynamic when we have someone who's missing throw them in the middle um but as of now i think maybe we do put judd in the middle who knows but he has his games we don't want to see his clipboard yeah he is prepared for everything he's been on

of mine and it's great and sooner or later I'm gonna have to start calling this ours yeah you are gonna be an employee you work for me bitch I do not work for you yet

yet should we just end this now we probably should there's no way any of this makes it alright so how many offers do you think we get on these puppies?

I don't know. I think here's the thing is we do have to. You know what? I'll make you a deal. If I get 20 of you to subscribe to the Patreon, okay, we'll send out a free pair of socks to one of you guys. Just all I want is 20, and it's five dollars a month that's a steal for what we're selling these so basically you're gonna you're gonna pay five bucks

and you get three pairs of socks if you don't want judds let us know we know you understand we know you don't want judds why don't they want judds i think he grew up on a farm yeah he's got stinky pig feet like yeah and just those are working feet what's your least favorite part about judd you know let's retaliate he asked you know what do you think about judd do you know his real name is justin okay there it is there it is that's what i hate is his middle name judd no no you think his name is Justin Judd Reminger you grew up on a farm JJR

he's a junior did he get the name Judd from like working on the farm or did he just like I'm gonna go by Judd I don't know what movie did he watch

to come up with that name I don't think he came up with it but he told me that's why I like cause I haven't I've done two solo ones with him

first one Judd and then he told me his name's Justin I'm like I haven't I've done two solo ones with him first one Judd and then he told me his name is Justin I'm like I'm just putting Justin looks like I got a new person that's so funny no well we're gonna have to cut all this but we should cut a promo for a real promo for Chewy Chewy this is all on. This is all on Patreon. This is all on Patreon. We do have to cut a real promo for Cheesy quick. We do have to.

Just terrible. Absolutely terrible. just terrible absolutely terrible i was gonna reach out like can you please give me an ad read but i think he's even like dude just talk about it and you got like an hour and 41 minutes and 59 seconds this is so long Oh boy Absolutely heartbreaking Do you want to go get drinks after this? I will get one drink Why? I gotta go home I gotta drive home Oh that's boring

I will play Thousands or whatever that The song game is Oh yeah Well just sleep on the couch tonight I cannot sleep on the couch tonight Why can't you? I gotta go home

I got my dog Oh my God. She'll be fine. Eve's taking care of her. Eve is not taking care of my boy Brew. All right. We're done.

This is all I'm going to do. Choosy. Buy it. What's the website name? I don't think they have one.

Yeah. He's got a website name. I looked up choosy.com and it's a. There's a. Yeah.

There's a. There's a chewable brand. Yeah. You know what? You want one? Reach out to us. We'll reach out to them and they'll send you one.

No, they won't, but you'll have to buy it. I'll pull it up. We gotta, we gotta do a real one for this. Then we gotta do one with, um,

fuck with Judd. The choosy. Is it the choosy.com is it yeah it's literally the choosy choosy.com that's t-h-e-c-h-e-w-z-i-e.com and.com is c-o-m um for all you out there um that definitely can't go on the internet welcome to the fat chance podcast where there's more dead space than dead people well i hope so although i think a few people died. Oh, he's got shirts. Ohio. Just says Ohio.

Naps. Adult. Boats. Baseball. Crabs. Fire. What the fuck? Bacon.

Golf. Yeah. He should bring these golf shirts. Bring the golf shirts. Bring the golf shirts. How much is a shirt? $19.99. that's not bad at all all right so i'm gonna go to the choosies home page again so oh choose a charity at checkout

free shipping do you dip do you chew do you zen do you rogue if you do choose choosy it's hidden under your can you won't have that ring in your back pocket And you can enjoy a nice cold beverage bottle normal sized beer 12 ounce 12 Or put on the nice top they give you closeable lid Or the retractable whatever it's called okay? Make yourself a cocktail margarita throwing is ining a Zin. Throwing a Rogue. Keep your little special smoke sticks down there. Jack's going to give you the real ad, but we all know you chose choosy. Buy it.

Buy it. All right. Do you see what I'm drinking out of here right now, Michael? I'm going to put my sunglasses on. Oh, you're going to look just like him. Do you see what I'm drinking out of here right now, Michael? I do, yeah. What is it? What is it?

Do you think it's just a normal koozie? Normal koozie, yeah. It's not a normal koozie. It's the choosie. Get ready to witness the world's first brew and chew solution. What does that mean, Jack? We're diving deep into the. It's the choosie. Get ready to witness the world's first brew and chew solution. What does that mean, Jack? We're diving deep into the wild world of the choosie, but fair warning, it's about to get real. All right.

How real? In this thing, you can hold 11 and 12 ounce cans, slim cans and seltzers, 12 ounce bottles, comes with a reusable straw, seal leak proof lid, and secret stash container. Oh my God. Inside, you see, I've got you in here, all right? And this is a game changer because whenever I'm out at a public gathering, whether it's golfing, at the pool, at the lake, when I'm hanging out at a family get-together with my fiancee

and all of her loved ones. She hates seeing this little ring in my back pocket, front pocket, whatever. But guess what? I can hide it very secretly inside the bottom of this koozie. No one knows I'm a degenerate. No one knows I'm addicted tochoosy.com. That's C-H-E-W-Z-I-E.com. The C-H-E-U-W-Z-I-E.com. Well, let's redo that last one. That's the C-H-E-W-Z-I-E. Not E-U, okay?

We're just not the choosy. It is the choosy. E-U-W. C-H-E, not U, W-Z-I-E dot com. And that is C-O-M for com and T-H-E for the. I almost killed that.

It just got fucking real. That was great. Almost had it. My mind is blown. I didn't even know you had a can of dip down there. I thought you were a down to earth religious boy.

And no, you popped that bottom off, and I'm like, holy shit, he's here to have fun. I'm here to party. You're here to party. And you know what? I want to party with you. So you know what I got underneath mine?

AirPods. Adderall. Oh, shit. Because you know what? You know what every party needs? Music. Adderall. Sorry.

Sorry. Buy it. Choosy cheers goodbye