Fat Chance Podcast - Urban Dictionary, Pickle Beers & Fantasy Football Ep.133

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Michael said some naughty things. Jack gags on a pickle... Judd spends 30k to watch the draft in Green Bay! The 2nd annual Fat Chance Classic is this weekend! We want to thank all our sponsors and this year's participants for making this SOLD OUT event happen! If you missed your chance to play this year, be on the look out for next year's tournament details soon! SPONSORED BY: Booze Better Supplements: Use the link below to start drinking better and recovering faster! https://www.supplementsolutions.us/?ref=67FwapSjNHdTKo We have fallen in love with COMFRT Hoodies and it's time for you to do the same! Use our code for 15% off the best anxiety sweatshirt on the market! https://www.comfrt.com/MICHAEL52440 PATREON!!!! patreon.com/fatchancestudios CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! @FatChanceShorts https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! @TheChewzie https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all others Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy Diego Avila - @trashpimp (photography)

Charizonting is when you light a girl's pubes on fire. Oh, yeah Buzz turn this off now It's a bunch from underneath, you know, and then they're like I was like we should just make this like a special move, the uppercut. Then the rest of them will punch straight. Are we filming? I just get a thumbnail real quick.

I have my fist in your mouth. Why? Next track, story, now about it. Big fight on podcast it big fight on podcast big fight on podcast just puts you through the table man doesn't agree with rogan friends beat the shit out of him david goggans beat the shit out of joe rogan you'll never believe what happened on fat chance podcast

extra extra read all about it fat chance podcast breaks up after fight What happened? FAT CHANCE PODCAST! Extra, extra. Read all about it. FAT CHANCE PODCAST breaks up after fight over pickle beer. Next 50 minutes, this voice. I get down here, and we're talking a little bit about golf. And we're setting up the cameras, and I throw something away. He goes, well, we're almost to the end of it. And I was like, the podcast? I was like, we're slowing down. Yeah, it. And I was like the podcast. I was like,

we'd slow down. Yeah. I don't sound too eager about the outing this weekend, but I'm just tired of doing logistics of it. Yeah. No, it's one of those that once you get to the finish line, I'm just like, Oh yeah, you're tired of shit. It sucks. I'm like, I don't want to say I want it over. I'm very excited for it, but I'm like, it's the little things. I like playing like the fun parts. Oh, this is where everyone's gonna get really boozy. This is a fun sponsor. Here's a prize.

I really don't care about laminating QR codes so people can do things easier. I don't know, I'm just over it. I'm sick of looking at Canva. Everyone signs up for the marathon, but doesn't like the 26 mile, you know? It's an extra point to the kit. I don't like the first mile. Yeah.

But wait, you don't like the first mile? I don't like running. How far do you think you could run? It's surprisingly low for someone who technically makes people work out for a living. What do you think? Without stopping? Yes.

Less than a mile. Oh my god. No. Michael. No way. Michael. I could run a mile, but I would hate it. I am a mental midget where it's like I-

And physical one. Walked right into that one. Yeah. I'm a mental midget where it's like I physical Walked right into that But it was there hitting with a zinger it's a I just like I know in my hand like oh I got a run a mile I'm like fuck and I'm like a whole head. I'm like, I'm just not there. I'm not there. I'm like, why am I running? This isn't fun. I will I enjoy exercising a lot. Mm-hmm. Like I I had one weekend Maybe a month ago I was like, you know, I'm gonna start running on the weekends and I did like two days in a row My calves are so tight the next day. I'm like, I don't like this But I enjoyed, you know, I'd run a little bit then I'll walk gonna run a little bit then I'll walk and then I I

Push myself to go longer each time cuz I'm stubborn like that But if you ask me just run a straight mile outside Wouldn't be happy about it. Get away. Wow, all right, Jack, how far do you think you're on in your busted knee? I don't remember if it was a 10K or a 5K. I know Jen made me one.

Without stopping? Jen made me run one and I hadn't run that whole time and I didn't stop. Good saying that. 5K is pretty easy. 5K is what, three miles? 3.1 miles. I'm thinking it was probably that if I did six miles I should have been way more excited about it

I'll do a 5k I could try that I've won a 5k before Yeah, but against ten-year-olds no you said your leopolis pond no no I actually want a 5k here in Milwaukee Yeah, who are you competing against? I don't know. A bunch of funeral schoolers. Probably. I, oh, speaking of nursing homes, there's a blind lady at my work. Cool.

Anyway, so. No. She came in today, because long story short, we're kind of yanking her chain, not letting her cancel her training. She can't press the button to cancel. Well, they're making her fill out all these forms. I'm like, she fucking can't. And they don't believe that she wrote anything on it.

I go, they didn't, the doctor did. It's a whole thing, but she came in today and she's an absolute sweetheart. She goes, she's like, I love you, Michael. You're the nicest person I've ever met. I I go you haven't met a lot of people and She was telling me you know old people when they finally have interaction They just like and you let them get into something. They're just like you know this is my this is my thing today I'm gonna talk to him. Yeah, and she just sat in my office for like 35 minutes

I'm like I got I got shit do. And she was telling me- You could have just left. No, she's not that blind. Oh, okay. She'll look at her phone, but it's gotta be like here. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. She's not like the phone talk to you, kind of blind. So she was like, yeah, look what I did this weekend.

And then she showed me this outdoor like cat barn she built. I go, how'd you build that? I go, you need power tools. She goes, yeah, I use power tools for this. I go, how'd you build that? I go, you need power tools. She goes, yeah, I use power tools for this. I go, how blind are you? She goes, you know, I, they didn't have any pilot holes. Um, so I had a market with the Sharpie myself and then I got real close and I was like, I'm like, Oh shit. She goes, you know, um, it was after I cut my finger with my circular saw, I was like, I should probably retire the circular.

So I go, you should have retired that a long fucking time ago. No power tools. Blind woman with a circular saw. That that's our next podcast. That chance is dead but the blind woman with the circular saw. That's our next one. It sounds like a like a what's that show with how you mind Dell dealer no deal. America's got talent. America's got talent. It seems like a episode that didn't air. Yeah. Probably. Oh my God. That's director. Read all about it. Absolutely. Oh. Oh. Oh man. No. Me dog. It was Rainey Jackson. Oh that's not a good rainy Jackson. Do a better one. Just put dog. Do a better one. Do a better rainy Jackson than what I just did. Mama Mia. That's not going to be enough for me dog. No dog. That's the worst one yet. Yeah. All right. So we're done. That's racist. That's racist.

Um. Yeah we're literally right here. We're right up to the golf outing. This is so interesting. As you see this, it is two days away. I'm excited. I'm very excited. We are um, now we're sold out.

Which is great. It's a good feeling. Are we gonna booze better? We are going to booze better. They sent us so much stuff. Gets here tomorrow. I cannot wait. Hell yeah. I might sneak a few out of their forums. You might want to OD on some booze better.

Could you? I bet you you probably could, but I don't think you want to. I think you should put 10. I also don't think that's the message they want. Sorry. Next. Ha ha ha. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding That's the message they want. Sorry. Next. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

No, we're not going to do that one. I'm too tired. This is going to be a 20 minute episode, and we're getting out of here. Yeah, it's going to be fun. Thank you to all the sponsors, everything like that. Yeah, our big ones. Thank you to our sponsors.

Thanks to the sponsors. Thanks for golf. Thanks for the sport of golf for being golf. Thank you to God. Thank you to our sponsors. Thanks to the sponsors. Thanks for golf. Thanks for the sport of golf for being golf. Thank you to God. Thank you to my family, my friends. Thank you to the big man upstairs, G. I want to thank the Academy, my producer, John Smith, the art director, Kevin.

We don't have any of those. But mostly, I like to thank me. I did all the work. No, our big sponsors, Milwaukee Improv, Jay Gilbertson exteriors and Paradise builders Definitely helped us To make this an event. That's much better than last year We doubled in size for the most part which is phenomenal and then there's plenty other people Wisconsin You know good lion golf booze better your buddies real estate company. I

Don't know disease but to sell any houses? No. No? OK. He actually brought one. He's giving it away. He's giving it away. And a 50-50 raffle.

And a 50-50 raffle. You could win a tiny home from Walmart. A brand new house. It's only in Kimberly, Wisconsin. You have to move after this outing, one of you. Also, let's name the sponsors we don't like. Alright let's start with one. We have something around here somewhere. Everyone that didn't vote for us. One who did say they were going to sponsor but didn't.

You're a silly goose. Thank you to everyone who did sponsor and didn't back out. Which is all of you, except for one. Good business practices. I talk to the guy who runs the course a lot, and they are, if this works out and we don't screw up, this could be a place we do it a lot, because they're very lax with a lot of things. The contract, I looked at it the other day.

I think it's just a formality with the stuff they've told me we can do. Don't give out cocaine. Was that in the contract? It's not in the contract. It's not not in the contract. It says have fun, which we could interpret any way we want.

That's true. Any way we want. The contract does say have fun. I don't know if I'd be good at golf on cocaine No way, there's absolutely no way you could be good at it. I think I'd be really good at putting I'd be real Good at driving the golf cart There I think you get frustrated driving the golf cart because you'd want to go fast and there's a regulator on it. Yeah All right, do you prefer driving or? Yes. Who prefers walking?

No, no, no. Do you prefer it to be the driver or the person you're golfing with? That is very much depends on who you're golfing with. Because if it's someone who's quick and efficient with looking for their golf ball, they know it went in the woods. We're not going to look for it for 30 minutes. We're like, it might be right on the edge. It's not, Jake. It went 40 yards into the woods. We're not gonna look for it for 30 minutes. We're like it might be right on the edge It's not Jake. It went 40 yards into the

This is this isn't gonna work then Yeah, I can I could do it if they're efficient No, like my dad. My dad always likes to drive and he'll look for his ball at like two miles an hour I'm like dude I can walk faster than this and you are also 40 yards backwards this is you're not you're not hitting it this far I would prefer honestly prefer not to drive okay yeah I prefer to drive too I feel like I'm I'm very much like let's go find your ball we'll sit there

I have no problem sitting and waiting and then my ball is at the green already. So don't worry. I know exactly where it is. I threw it out of my pocket when you were looking. Jack drives the green every time. I know where it is. I saw like some of these people that are in law of golf outings and then there's a guy who like calls people's BS about their scores at golf outings and like he just called talks about how they cheat and it and they do

they they cheat at these golf outings they say they're way worse golfers than what they are so they get a higher handicap and stuff but I would love to be in a golf wedding where cheating is encouraged you know how fun would that be? See how many points you can't share? Yeah. So we're like, we're not buying this one now. But if you get caught cheating, you got deducted points. Like that's why you can't get caught cheating. How would you do that? That'd be so hard. Everyone would be like, I'm 122 under. You'd have a team of people following it.

Yeah. There's a ranger that just like... Oh, I saw you drive twice That's fair yeah I really wanted to pay someone to like dress up in a big foot costume for this and just like go steal people Why do that has to be be so we're not doing it. It's a little be Warm yeah, but good last year was like almost rainy. Yeah. Yeah Weather but I really wanted it that have been funny. I mean and you're the biggest home we got so I wouldn't have done it I'd been so sorry. I've got costume. I've been in mascot costumes before not fun after when you drink after a few drinks

You'd be like also fuck. I gave me the costume, you know, you could you don't need the costume to go do that Yeah, I know It is way funnier as Bigfoot, but if once, okay so if I have let's say I have three four drinks. Yeah. Get in the costume. Yeah okay. Right? I'm there for probably 15 minutes before I go I need another drink. That's what happens. Well then you just we give you like a belt full of beers. I have to be I have to be sneaky with a belt full of beers and then what happens when my belt full of beers is out and I need beers. I need to take the mask off to drink the beers I'm not

drinking beer through a straw there's a lot of logistics behind that thing and you're a logistics guy I'm beer drinking guy you gotta figure it out I've got a hole in the mask I have been looking at a lot of challenges that we could do for the upcoming outings like what we have is set in stone now, but the one I saw last night was kind of fun You can pay $25 at a hole for the next group behind you to have to deal with just nonsense And so like someone paid $25 and the group behind you has to deal with like a mariachi band There's air horn someone's like throwing tees at you while you drive and whatnot

I don't know how well it would go, but it seems like a fun idea like everyone would be like yes Yeah, especially after experience. It's like yeah, I'm buying this for the next room. I've been some fun ones one time We get to the next green and we're like what the fuck did one of our balls go? What the hell is that on the green? It's right in the hole One of our balls go, what the hell is that thing on the green? It's right in the hole. We're like, what? One of our balls go in there? What the fuck's?

We get up there, it's two Smirnoff ices just shoved into the hole. That's good. So we just got iced by the group ahead of us. We're like, god damn it, that's, and you have to go to the green. Like, you can't not. We should do that.

We could go buy 18 ices, just ice everyone. Just put one in the hole for- Then you're just icing one group That's fine. You'd be lucky. Just be happy your group 9b instead of 9a That was a mess I people gave me like not request requests But can we be next to these people I go I'm gonna take two of these until they don't line up anymore And trying to piece together where people should go and I'm like That's a hard thing 20 minutes into it. I was like fuck it. I do not care that one does we start requesting

I don't you know, there's some that makes sense. Like if you know, some sponsors want to network together Next to each other sure they want to come back. Yeah Like my fancy group, I know they have two two teams if they don't if they're not next together It's does not they're gonna end up at the next place together. Oh, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I uh There's a lot of people we don't know which is great. That's what we want, but there are so many people like No clue I Know also know the funny thing about One team definitely made a group that was like yeah this team

My god, right you guys are having fun. I told a few people I go if I'm a betting man I know who's gonna win this. Oh, do you think it's gonna be the same people that did last year? No, they're not playing Wow Playing this year. They can't they are at a wedding. Otherwise they would be here. So the returning chair, it's open It's open. The Chiefs are gone. We play we killed Patrick Mahomes fat chance wins their own outing. Oh If we win we give nothing away Your money is stole that's right, it's been a big Ponzi scheme the whole time You think those charities are real MS. Society. What is that? Michael Scott

Koski that's what that's Michael Steeles society is what it is Good thank you for the proof. Thank you for the genuine Yeah, we should keep throwing it in the episode. Don't cut it. I think you might want to, but you can't. Did you purposely station Batman like this? Yeah. Every time he gets knocked out.

Is it like he's skydiving? No, it was just the only way to get him to stand up last week. Oh, okay. Humberman, dog. He lost his... Randy Jackson. Every time I pick him up. He loses a piece was I trying to touch him No, man, you guys want to play the game that I just now yeah No, he walked in he goes I had a bad day no game no no I mean this I thought of something earlier and I was gonna do it but this

this will do top 23 urban dictionary words so I'm gonna tell you the word I watched a video the other day of like a mom and They're like nine or ten year old son they compare slang words So she would shoot she words that was gonna be a lot worse He's our insane number one she would say like cool and he would say something and I'm like I hate that I understand the 55 year old now than I do the 15 year old Like this is not good. So this would be good These are in

Just off a number one man, this is wild. Okay. What do you think Char's arting is? Oh Um a lighter and then blowing Ooh, a lighter and then blowing liquor into the lighter, like a flame thrower. That's a good one. I bet it's lighter. Or it's just, while you're having sex, you make yourself throw up and you put your arms out like wings, like you're breathing fire.

You want to yourself put, Jack is closer. Of course I am. Show zoning is when you light a girl's pubes on fire? Oh, yeah Buzz turn this off now You do not you're not allowed to listen Buzz try this at home Say you don't have enough badges to train me Buzz, try this at home. Cut that. And then you clap your arms and say, you don't have enough badges to train me. That's incredible.

That's a great Pokemon reference. All right. The next one is Borked. Oh, I know what Borked is. Borked? What's Borked? When you accidentally put in the wrong hole. Borked. I feel like it's gonna say sexual isn't it? Oh, it's all sexual. It's gotta. They're not all sexual but is this 95%? I don't know I'm on two. Is it Borked? Isn't there like Borg that was like their big gallon drinks? Borg was the gallon drinks. B-O-R I'm on two. Is it Borked? Because isn't there like Borg? That was like their big gallon drinks.

Borg was the gallon drinks. B-O-R-K-E-D. Borked. Oh. I think that's, no, that's boys polishing off a bottle of wine. I bet it's putting a spork in a butthole. Koski, you're kind of close with the first one.

It's when you totally fucked up something, usually doing something stupid, specifically used to describe technology that is broken. My PS3 is borked. That's fucking borked. It's really borked. Are you going to start using some of these? No, I'm not bringing up bork, but I will talk about Charizarding most likely. Alright, number number three man stand

You just do a handstand naked Man stand. Mm-hmm. If it's a handstand naked someone's putting glasses on your balls. Yes, and Then your wieners a nose Yeah, absolutely. So it's like a So it's like a... Music Okay, it was the anti-semitic Alright, man stand Man stand, um, a night stand for men

Jewish men I didn't laugh Hand standing naked Okay, uh, it's when you are a man, you have to stand outside the shops while your girlfriend or partner is shopping inside Okay, so, man stand Can you let us the shops while your girlfriend or partner is shopping inside. Okay, so Man-stan can you let us know if it's dirty

Yeah, because I'm gonna be like every answer is gonna be like something with jizz and then it's gonna be like actually no It's when something's too tall on the shelf and you pick it up for your friend All right, I'll tell you if it's sexual or not. Number four is munt It's not sexual. Oh sounds Sounds like a no no, nevermind. If I can't say the last, are we just beeping stuff out this episode? Yeah, we might wanna beat that. Munt.

Munt. Munt. Munt. Munt. Munt. Munt. Back to it. We have cut the last five minutes now.

No, we're not cutting mine. No, it'd be funny if we go, Buzz, don't listen. And then you say, Buzz, try it at home. And we say, cut that. And then you just come back to right now. We skipped it all. Munt. Munt. What does Munt mean? What's another word that like come that's like

Unt there's only one that we all think of unt hunt hunt yeah fuck run. Oh hunting men Murda, it's a it's a gen z way of hunt man slaughter gen z man slaughter munt I bet it's something being stinky It's when you when something's unusable. Munt. This is stupid. No one uses that.

No one uses that. Someone just wrote that. Alright, number five. Irish handcuffs. It's gotta be drinking buddies. Drinking buddies. You guys are... It's not dirty.

Is it not dirty? It's not dirty. Am I close? I like his. Drinking buddies. You guys are, it's not dirty. Is it not dirty? It's not dirty. Am I close? I like his. Drinking buddies is a great one. You're very close. Irish handcuffs.

You get a six pack and you put your hand through the six pack and then you guys are drinking buddies the whole night. Oh, you are so close. It's when you double fist Irish handcuffs I think we invented our own Irish handcuffs yeah yeah that was good should we try that double fisting oh this one's yeah mean I'm not gonna say that one the Irish handcuffs I think we could try that look I could say you guys are my Irish handcuffs. Cause we both fist you?

Yeah. Shexting. Next one is shexting. Ooh, texting about Shrek. I think it's just sexting, but with a little bit of shekshi to it. Texting your friends or loved ones when you're taking a dump.

Ah, I like that one. Shok ah I would call that shixting all right or titting texting and shitting yeah you can just call it texting oh you guys know this one you could actually yeah you I mean this was on your buy Felicia you know that one should I say bye to someone is that like oh hell no it's when you you don't care about the person like yeah bye Felicia like that's not their name my Felicia alright that was Rainey Jackson I said dog at the end. Bye Felicia dog. Why'd you say bye Felicia that way?

Uh... Sporking. Sporking? What is sporking? It's where you put sporks in the neighbor's yard. I think it's uh... bisexual people having sex. Again, great answer. It's a really stupid answer.

You mean that's... okay. It's... really stupid. You mean that's okay It's they're both it's when you spoon with an erection That is pretty good It's a clever one a good one. It's a good one. I like that one That was good a lot of these some of these are like super easy and some are funny. To you, you're looking at them. This one, we haven't got one right. A ham, what is a ham?

Fat guy in fishnets. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What if it's honey glazed? You know what happened. No. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He's when someone's, you know, hammin'ing up for attention, trying to be doing silly things for the center of attention. I'm hammed. A real ham. He's a real ham. . things for the center of attention. I'm hammed. A real ham. He's a real ham. I'm a ham. He's a real funny guy. Well, why is he a funny guy?

All right, what is a clutch oven? Oh, that's a guy who just, you know, clutches it up all the time. I bet it's a mixture of making someone smell your fart. Is it you fart in your hand and you throw it at someone? I call it a cup of soup, but you are clutching a fart technically and throwing it at someone.

No, a clutch oven's gotta be like an athlete. No. Just like top athlete. When you fart in a manual car. Pretty close. That's pretty good. Clutch oven. Yep, that's good.

I dig that. These are not top whatever. These are just the most unique ones, right? Sure. You're, Uh. You're munt. I already forgot what that means. What is a clam jam a clam jam clam jam this is sexual

Clam jam Right something gets stuck up in the front but Is it just like a virgin If you would have mixed the two, it's the female equivalent to a cock block. Oh! Clam jam. Okay. Honestly I was afraid to attack that one. Oh really? There was a lot of ones you attacked wholeheartedly. Yeah, but I feel like if you attack the ladies, we get more backlash than anything.

If I attacked, you know, let's say, something rhymes with bluish people. My god, you're hitting the nail on the head. Keep on going over and over with it. I said blue. OK. My lady doesn't listen, so I could probably go back to the well.

All right, screw veneer. Screw veneer? Screw veneer. Ooh, it's like taking something out there having sex with someone like keeping a bra from a girl. That is 100% right Anything you anything that you keep whether it's stolen or given to you from someone's house Also weird to do weird to do really weird to do Yeah, I Would never do that. Some people have left stuff. Yeah, there's a there was we didn't anchor, baby No, just like is that the next term no an anchor, baby is oh no exactly what an anchor

Yeah, oh someone leads something so you have to text him later. So I have to go back come back Yeah, no we we had in my Senior year apartment we had a we had a deer head hanging on the wall Not one of our deers We had a deer head and then just ran into the wall like that. Yeah, exactly that But there was a There were two bras on it. Don't know who they were from.

They just showed up. My roommates were getting. But did they come with the deer head? They could have, which would have been even weirder. They're just like, hey, these are hand-me-down bras. That's Tammy's. It's Tammy's from 1982. She was a good one.

Next one is beef walk. Sexual? No. Damn it. To walk back to your seat after getting hot dogs at a baseball game. Ooh, I like that one. Beef walk?

I'm going to go like ballpark, but you're the guy that has to go get the hot dogs for everyone. So you're walking back with like 12 hot dogs. Going outside or away from the group in order to fart with less consequences. I get that. Beef walk. OK.

That's a good one. Dropping a beef. That's a good one. I get that. That's a good one. I got a new joke about farting. That's good. No?

No. OK. Save it for the stage. It's not ready for the world. Save it for the lights. right, uh chipmunking Through you sexual She'll redo this basically Holding your breath for attention

Nusselt bearing food hoarding snacks for lunch in your lunch. I thought it would be something like those. It's not bad at all. It's when you watch your university's lectures on two times speed in order to cover an entire semester of materials in a day before a final. I get that because it's like, yeah, because that sounds like a lot of chipmunks then. Yeah. Okay, that could be I mean it's way easier to just say nuts in mouth. That's what it really is I bet there I bet if you have a thesaurus

For right below yeah full nuts in the horse synonym or known as double ballin All right last one RDF Resting dickface. Oh I could go I could I could don't put in the button on it. Don't put a bow on it. We're fine RDF I'll do Really Dookie farts Resting douche face. I was gonnaarts resting douche face

ah too i was going to say yeah resting douche bag face there you go i dont think any of us won i got one kuski for sure didnt win cause he has to leave the country did i start with negative points? yes yes you why was that bad

we have to hold you accountable for the next 32 minutes that also Also the kind of Maybe we'll get some attention finally What do you fight to get some attention I don't have a son I don't have a son pump We can't let it this place. Yeah, why would we want to get some attention? I don't have a sub pump. I don't have a sub pump. We can't let this place flood. Why would we want that kind of attention?

Let's try some pickle beer. The best part is I probably won't cut it out. Please the god cut one. Please cut a little bit of it out. Please cut mine out. All right, we're going to try some dill pickle beer. You know what you usually get pickles with deli sandwiches. I was a bloody Mary's. I was going to say bloody Mary's because I'm a normal human. You knew where I was going to right away

What's a blue deli All right the tart citrusy flavor What's a good what's a blue smurf? All right, let's talk about this beer Say it out loud. I don't like it with your chest The punk ass bitch. It is a dill pickle sour beer made with sour punch pickle brine Sucker punch our pickles sour The tart

Would you would you have a pickle would you describe it as sour I? Would say they're pretty They got a twang to them. They're tangy the tang your pickle club hat because you knew you were gonna drink these No, I did not but I like that Did you get that at Target? No The lamest thing about us probably oh Don't don't try it yet, I'm so

Alright so it's normal you it just crack it get a whiff. I'm not gonna be honest. Actually projectile. All right. So it's normal. You it just crack it get a whiff. I'm not gonna smell it. I hate you hate pickles. So you. This is the fat chance beer review and I could smell it. Yeah. Oh I'm gonna be honest with you. Oh Oh man! This does not smell good! This does not! One sip, and we're good! Do not Jack, do not! No, you're fine! Oh yeah, you don't like pickles. Don't do it! Why are you doing this?

I'm gonna drink this! Oh my god! I got overshadowed! Alright, wait, wait, wait, hold on. So I've tried it I'm gonna say this I'm gonna say this I'm gonna look into the camera and say this politely to distil brewing Discontinue this or only use this in your bloodies. Because this would be a bloody chaser.

I'm going to try it. Can I give you a description before you try it? I bet it tastes like fucking pickles. Try it. Have you ever had a warhead and a pickle at once? Oh, that's the sour part? Of course, this came from Illinois. Holy fuck that's so bad. But you like it you creep. Oh it. Tell me it wasn't spot on. I would know. So I think it's like you want

to try my idea to do yours. Do you like the first part of the pickle and then you're like OK well at least has some sort of like crunch or something else into it. It's just the vinegary part Yeah, it's a vinegar stick. It's a vinegar in a beer. I My eyes are water this this is by the way perfect image for it It's gonna give you an uppercut. Yeah, all right my god By the way, how much do we pay you just chug half it right now? Do not do that. Let me take a sip and let you know.

You better not, if you puke, I'm gonna hit you. No. It's either you do it now, or if you puke on the... Hahahaha What in God's name did they want to be like, Hey, you know what, up Sour Beer needs? Pickles on it. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. You're not lying about the name. If someone likes pickles, they're gonna like this beer. If you don't, excuse me, if someone loves pickles, they're gonna like this beer. But they also have like to have sour beer because it's also sour.

I'm not gonna lie to you guys. I'm not gonna lie to you guys. beer if you don't excuse me if someone loves pickles they're gonna like this beer but they also have like to have sour beer because it's also sour it's so intriguing though I want to taste this yeah I it's so bad it's like a car wreck you want to just keep looking at it it's worse this worse the second time. Oh my god yes. It's not good. That's gonna be the one clip we get. My one line and then please discontinue this as Jack's throwing up. So what do we do now? We don't have any beer. Can we do this? What do you mean we don't got beer? I think we're out. You have one more orange. There's one more beer in there.

One more orange beer. I mean, we're almost at time. Well, actually, no. We're 20 minutes short because of all the racist shit you said, so we got to keep going. Yeah, Judd, stop saying racist shit. Just make the bing a bing longer. Yeah.

That'd be really funny if it was like a full 15. A full 15, a ring a ding ding ding ding. The first time I did the ding ding ding, I did it for the extent of how long it should have been. Like the clip, I was like, you don. A full 15 of ring-a-ding-ding-ding-ding. The first time I did the ding-a-ding-ding, I did it for the extent of how long it should have been. Like the clip, I was like, you don't need to do that. You could just make it two seconds. It is funnier, though, if you do it the whole time. That is really funny.

I got such a kick out of it. The first one, it made us think like we're saying a bunch of crazy stuff. And I was like, I didn't think we said that long of stuff. There is one episode we did where, no lie lie I cut out over 15 minutes of footage There's a lot of time. Yeah a lot. Yeah, I cut out over 15 minutes of footage. I was like this We can't use any of this. Oh it was when we when we went in on and Their lack of pink hard hats. Yeah funding

Yeah and their lack of pink hard hats. Yeah. Funding. Yeah, let's call it funding. But, I mean, we can talk about our upcoming standup show. Oh yeah, I forgot we have to do that. Me too, I have to start writing. We have to start promoting. I have a really dumb, stupid joke that happened this weekend and I don't know. I'll talk to you after the pod, but I want to.

Another one not ready for the light. We have one of them not ready for light. But I also have a, like, I need thoughts on it, but yeah. So I can take it two ways. September 13th, we will be at. The Ideal Theater in Cedar Rapids, Iowa with special guest Nathan Timmel, an Iowa favorite. He's not Kevin Hart But that's a great fucking poster. It's a great poster

Kevin Hart may or may not be there not gonna give you the percentage on which one But you never know you never know something could happen between now and September 13th, We understand it's right as college football starting so I don't give a shit. This game's over by that time. Friday night. You know what you're already hammered after the game. Yeah it's on Friday night.

You're hammered after the game. Come down continue the fun. You can try and heckle us. Jack will beat the shit out of you. What the hell are we saying that? Yeah, why are we heckling you? You're the biggest one. Because if I... here's the thing. There's only one person that you'd want to heckle in this room. Me? No.

You. That's a good point. You, dude. Mr. Double Boogie Club. Yeah. No, I think that'll be fun. The Ideal Theater. Please come to the show. It'll be a lot of fun.

Get some tickets. See our toesies in person. You will. I'll be wearing flip-flops. Are you really? It's going to be, this show's going to be a turnaround for us though because we're driving down same day performing and then I'm requesting we get after it and then drive very hung over home in the morning early because you got to be back for a work thing and

then all my friends are gonna be in Madison for the game. What time do you have to be back for the game? Well I'm gonna miss the game but I'm gonna go just hang out at the bar afterwards. Do you want to come to the game with me afterwards? I'm going to the game the week before. That's not what I asked. It's really didn't ask. But I got the message. I know you wanted to be nice about it. I got the message. It's why I was like you're you're missing the game. Yeah I know. You want to

come drink at the bar. You invited me to a game you're missing. You want to go out downtown Madison. You're like hey I'm going to miss theer game but do you want to come to the Packer game I've done I've done that we both miss it I've taken I've taken a bus to Lambeau without tickets without tickets and just watch the game at the bar that is fun so fun I did that when the Wisconsin Badgers were at Lambeau playing LSU in college game day was there one of my top three biggest regrets in college is not going to the game. All my friends went, all my friends went and I'm like, I don't have the money. I can't go. I could have spared $60 to go to the game. I was like, no, I need a job. And I was just a fucking pussy. I sat

at home, played bags on the balcony with my friends, which was still fun. But yeah, all my, like this is because we weren't supposed to win that game. And Yeah, and it was like this is one of the greatest days of our lives. So wild cool we we got up there late and We were supposed to tailgate and we're like, okay Let's get it to but it was pandemonium college game day was there so everyone was there early at like super early in the games not to like noon or like something like that and my buddy calls his ex high school football coach because he's one of the guys the park attendant he goes all sneaky in for for 20 bucks all right so we get like a parking like real close and we are next to this full sorority and they have like a full like just drinking system coming out and we're like

Yeah, this is where we need to be. This is this is perfect We did not we didn't we watched the game from there They had a little TVs in the parking lot and like projecting on walls and stuff. All right. This is perfect That's a college guys wet dream right there. We snuck in where we shouldn't be. And then beer sports. Oh my God. Those guys went home happy and probably not horny. Actually they might have been pretty horny after watching the Wisconsin Badgers beat the LSU Tigers and I went very horny. Yeah. It's Lambeau is one of the few places. I could do it at, I could do, I could tailgate in Miller Park for the whole game and just hang out.

I love good, you know, good hang with the boys drinking in a parking lot. Put me in the pick and save parking lot. Give me a few chairs, some music, some homemade like onion dip or like the French onion dip. It's potato chips and a hot dog. I'm good. I could be there for several hours. Lambo, great atmosphere. Everyone's having the time of their life. Bucks game? No, sorry. Watch that one.

It's all the cold. It's all the cold. It's cold and there's really not a parking lot for you to tailgate. Like, and do people normally tailgate basketball? We are very lucky though in Wisconsin because there's a lot of stadiums, most stadiums, they just don't have parking. They're like, if you go downtown Denver, Mile High,

or Coors Field, there's just like, hey, stay at home, park at home, find street parking, or whatever. It's just there, find your own way in. You just, having the amount of parking we do at Miller Park is, and Lambeau is incredible. Because there's so many houses that are just like they're like they love it Oh my god, the amount of money they rake and it's like state fair for them It's so funny. Like there's always like a dad. That's just like directing traffic Like he's just like back it up back it up, but he's like moving the cars. Yeah, they don't even need volunteers

Like mr. Jaws has got this one on 26 and 4. That guy's got a corner line. He can fit 27 in there. And also, there's people that park there every single game. They're like, oh, yeah, this is Nancy's spot. It's crazy. My cousin got married in Green Bay during the summer. And the whole family pitched in.

And in between the ceremony and the reception, there was this house of you have to go to where i assume they're all like some people are staying there for the whole trip out and go and they're like oh yeah we could we could rent this out for the for the weekend of the draft guess how much it would be to rent out the weekend of the draft we looked it up that are we on per day or total

total the weekend of the routeowdy days Thursday through Sunday We're gonna be so fucking expensive per night per night. I know just give me the grant and total 20k 20 30 Shit 30k for five days no days in a while. Yeah, seven I'm gonna be so sick though to be the draft is just stay there dude It was but still as I here's the thing it would for the first two days I think first day electric factory second day. You're like, yeah, I feel good Saturday Sunday Like I don't give a shit who we were like this is going to draft it for one of my buddies bachelor parties

We went down to Chicago when it was Chicago We took the train down and it was a dope time because they have the 40-yard dash They have all this like cool stuff that you could do as like a fan experience And then we didn't really watch much of the draft like we were just doing the fan experience stuff But the problem was which they're not gonna have in Green Bay's we got there at 9 a.m Draft doesn't open till noon because we were gonna go to some bars. Yeah we're going to go to some bars. Yeah. They don't open up bars in surely in Illinois.

Not going to be a problem. So we're just sitting in a subway, you know, just like, well, I guess we'll have root beer. Green Bay might get a city ordinance. Be like, you can be open for 24 hours. Just let her rip. Let her rip. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of? So I want to do this.

Well, I'm going to buy you guys with football season coming up. Do we want to do anything fantasy football wise? Like we did with March Madness we actually had a pretty good turnout for March Madness do we want to do some fantasy football wise it may be just us and what are your best punishments you can think of stand-up comedy if you if you think that's a good one, please go and seek help I Saw one where the dude had a caddy for his buddy all year anytime you wanted had a caddy for the winner

Oh the whole winter We have this year I want to do the wheel of punishment because last year we forgot to do a punishment the year before that we did the 999 So nine hot dogs nine beers nine eighties of. And the guy had a live stream for us. We all just like randomly tuned in as he's getting the beef brisket sweats or whatever that slang term was. Um, meat sweats? This year, um, wheel of punishment, we all, I'm going to say we all agree on like anywhere from eight to 10 punishments. It's a lot to come up with. It is, but it isn't.

So half of them are kind of ones that, you know what, I do it, whatever. It's going to suck, but I'll do it. There's two that really suck. And then you spin the wheel at the end of the year. You don't know what you're getting until the very end. You lose, spin it, and it lands on whatever. And then my caveat is, if you don't like it

You can spin it again, but if it lands on the same thing you have to do it twice and so I want to put stuff like there's drink your way out of a bar so you split you find a bar that's open basically from like 6 a.m. To 4 a.m. And it's like hey you have to spend the whole time in this bar when it opens so closes You can drink your way out so every beer shot you lose an hour Which sounds easy until you're 12 deep and you're like I still have to be here till 8 p.m. Kind of thing You can eat your way out of a McDonald's so they have a I found something on reddit

It was like every menu item at McDonald's a common menu items have a time limit attached to it So like McNuggets are like 10 minutes per nugget as you can eat your way out of McDonald's. I want to adopt a cat Ears pierced for a week. So like some people have like legitimate imagine you just showed up to work Imagine you just showed up to work. I used to hold your piercing. Whoa. That actually does. Where you're Tom. Yeah. I used to have a year. Well I wanted to go get a tattoo and I was my my not wife at the time. Now wife. We're pretty fucked up and we want to go get tattoos and there's no tattoo appointments available. She's like should we go get her. Should we go get piercings. I was like yeah. And she got her bull ring and I got this and it got infected. I had it for two years

I got affected so much. I was like I would have kept it. I dug it was so fun. I felt like Darth Maul But I think it'd be fun I think we should what would our punishment have to be Your piercing is a pretty good punishment, but like what about belly button? No, belly button is like not it's way worse Just get your your pierced is like tough and like you have to do it for a week a week Yeah, belly button you do not because you'll have like a pretty big scar I know it'll probably be we have the trained in nowhere, too

So like you could basically just like you can buy your buddy a train ticket I'm like hey, you got to ride it till it's done There's also like you just got to ride the train all day So you literally just have to go back and forth like if it was here You just have to go from Chicago to walk you Chicago to walk you Chicago to walk you until the day's over They stopped doing the train What if they stop when you're in Chicago that sucks And you get on one of the coach buses back. Honey, can you go pick me up?

There's a... we had a bunch. But I think that'd be fun. I think we should do one. We gotta figure out doing a draft and getting people to sign up. Because I think if we just do it us three, it's kind of funky. Like, trades and free agents are pretty light. Like, it's not going to be anything super serious. So I think if we are able to get together league then we could do that. I think it'd be fun even if we had like one more person because Rachel wants to do them

with just me which they don't. How do you even do that? So you don't they don't make two man leagues you play each other every week which would be honestly kind of fun because you have basically everyone at your disposal. There's only three of us. Well I'm not saying it would be us three we would need like probably one more because you know four man is the smallest thing you can do if I'm doing a four man league I'm not fucking getting a cat cuz I lost in the form we wouldn't do a cat yeah

what a terrible way cuz like that's just a one in four chance that you're gonna have something dumb yeah I might as well just roll a dice like yeah yeah yeah you're better chance with that but it torture. That's the best part about it Oh, yeah, but I don't know that's not the best part about No, that's a dumb. I don't play fantasy football for torture. I feel like I'm getting tag team That's a dumb idea. Okay having a four-man league and being like you have to you have to go on a train to yet Fine, then we agree on one punishment that we're OK with for a four man league. No eat eat a six pack of glazers. Don't have a four man league. No. You got

to find more people guys. All right. Here's what I do. This will do. If you guys want to play Fannie's football with us. We will make a group a 10 to 12 man league or woman league. We'll put you guys in there. We'll do it. If you can't make the draft we'll all draft the team doesn't matter. But if you guys want to do it we'll do that. Then we can have one of those things do it. One that is better than you know getting your butt sewn shut or whatever they were talking about. Three person league. Yeah. In a three person league one forever. Are you guys going to hold the cheeks. I love my initial people that he loves and cares about. Those are the people he wants at the most pay.

What if Rachel lost? We already have ours, but we don't have our set, what she has to do. But if we do a two main league, I have to get my armpits waxed and I think my legs waxed. And if she loses, she has to listen to your comedy? No, she's got to listen to your comedy no she's got to listen to yours Judd thank you very much that's how we end it Bye Guys! you