Fat Chance Podcast - Winter Wonder Boys #1

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

ITS THE HOLIDAY SEASON!! Jack to a trip to the North Pole this week. Judd wants to marry into cheese royalty. Michael's Chiropractor is a little too touchy. CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! Get your Chewzie TODAY! https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

and then fuck oh i should know this one because my buddy used to date the heiress from this cheese factory her name is queen brie sorry princess brie yeah she was the heiress of it and she did hair and oh man oh my god married cheddar jack yeah oh man i'm sorry i i'm blanking on her on her family's man. Is she going to marry Cheddar Jack? Oh, man. I'm sorry. I'm blanking on her family's name, but it's a big one. Is it the Mars Cheese Castle family? Princess Peach.

Peaches and cream. Peaches and cream. Peaches and cream. That's what it is. They're not terrible. But I say out of. Yeah, I'm going to. Okay. You're scared. You're scared of it?

Well, I'm scared that it's a tall boy. And if I don't like it. You're stuck with it? I'm stuck with it. But I trust you and honestly this looks like the beer i well you would bring to my apartment um so usually it's pretty good but also looks like you're just trying to get rid of it out of the fridge It's doable. Yeah, it's like an interesting... The peach is the aftertaste.

Yeah, the cream is also the aftertaste. It is. Almost milky. It's really what you want out of a beer. You want to have your own milky beer. I'm a little uncomfortable staring directly at you right now. It's kind of fun. It's kind of fun. It is kind of fun.

How do we describe this place? My dad's garage? Yeah, your dad's prisoner basement. We're in a tool shed, I would think. I was going to say, if you had to take a guess, what does my dad do for a living? He's a carpenter yeah right carpenter contractor yeah yeah spare wood nail guns he has the most neatly put together uh ropes over here oh that's his pride and joy is making sure like ropes or cords or yeah they're wound up nice i

can tell that's wound up look at that can tell. They're wound up nicely. Look at that ratchet strap. That is very nice. I think those are bought like that. Oh, I was going to say. Those are the best. Those, if he was doing that on a regular basis, that's insane. That's wow.

Yeah. He's got a heater in here. Man, he's got everything. This is a- This is a dad's. Yeah. This is a single dad's. Whatever you think your dad owns in a garage, this is that and more.

You know, Michael's Christmas presents. If you're wondering how big this place is, it's not. It's a single dad. Whatever you think your dad owns in a garage, this is that and more. And a Michael's Christmas present. Also, if you're wondering how big this place is, it's not. It's a one car. I mean, it fits. It doesn't fit my dad's truck. There is a motorcycle to my left, Judd's right, right now. And also, if you're also wondering, there's Michael's Christmas present up in the top right corner. Is it?

Oh, what is that? It's a little toy tractor. Case IH, baby. Yeah. Do you know I almost modeled for steel? Wait, you almost modeled for? Steel, S-T-I-H-L. Yeah, the weed whacker company.

The chainsaw company. Chainsaw, I guess. They have a good weed whacker. I used to use it in the streets of Park State. So the company I worked for in high school was a promotional merchandising company that my aunt and my dad's sister co-owned. Yeah. And so my first job was working in the warehouse. And they came up and they're like, hey, we need, they're doing like a catalog shoot.

hey we need they're doing like a catalog shoot and the first one was hey will you be the poster boy for rockwell automation which is where my mom works yeah it's not like my parents met uh and i go no i do not want my mom to go through the company catalog when it comes out here and be like i wonder what shirt i'm gonna get this year and then it's me absolutely not she would be so proud she'd be so proud but i would be so in high school you're like 14 15 she would be showing everyone the catalog that's my boy or she'd be making fun of it like she i get my sense of humor from her for sure or she would definitely tease it would be everywhere she would just post it on the wall oh I'm like, oh, fuck. And then they asked if I'd do the steel one.

I was like, I don't want to. And then they made other warehouse workers do it. And so, like, 30 grown-ass men. Which they should be doing. You'd be wearing steel clothing. Yeah, like a steel t-shirt. And I would be on, I was going to be on a, what is it? You were in, like, like the brick and mortar stores. Let's say you went to like a steel store.

Yeah, yeah. And they have like the cardboard displays with all the t-shirt sizes. I'd be on the side of the cardboard display just like hands in pocket. Be like, steel. Is that your blue steel right there? That's it. I go, fuck no. When I came back, I was laughing so hard at the guys that they forced to do it. Because they couldn't there? That's it. I go, fuck no. When I came back, I was laughing so hard at the guys that they forced to do it

because they couldn't force us to do it. So did you ever model for anything? No. Oh, man. I would love to have found those pictures. You would have already found them. I know. Oh, man.

That would have been so funny. I was thinking well ahead of my time, like, someone's going to find these and use these against me one day. Didn't think about the fedora picture, but, that would have been so funny. I was thinking well ahead of my time, like, someone's going to find these and use these against me one day. Didn't think about the fedora picture, but, you know. When you're on your eighth grade graduation trip or your state fair trip, you know, live and let loose, baby. Well, you get your hat wearing from your dad, apparently. Yeah.

I went back home, and my parents still have, like, my high school, like, graduation photo up school graduation photo up, the pictures and everything. Man, did I look so dumb. I looked so dumb. At least yours are more updated than ours. No, there's one that is me. So I won state baseball. And when you win state baseball, you don't get to keep the trophy.

You don't get to like. Yeah. So my dad and mom got me a replica state trophy. But it also holds a baseball from the game. Because I pitched. That's cool. So the game I won when I pitched, they have that in the trophy encased. And then on the trophy, it has a picture of me.

And it's the worst picture ever. I'm not even in the game. They took a picture of me when I was looking at someone else on the fence. We were hitting. I'm hitting, and I'm like, we're hitting, and'm like looking away and like off in the distance and my mouth is open. Seeds are falling out. And it's the worst picture. My mom goes, look how focused you are on this picture.

I'm like, mom, I'm not even looking at the field. I'm trying to find the ball. What am I focused on? It is the worst picture ever. Yeah, I think our parents went through a phase i think everyone's parents with their phase like we're gonna frame everything we're gonna have pictures of our kids up and then they just stop and then those are the pictures they have up forever like our pictures all on the same day and we got them as gifts they were from my dad's sisters

where it was us three just at practice at a football or where we played football um after our games and it's just our headshots and if you go upstairs it's that's the picture my dad has of us that's it that's it it's it's like but it's also when are you and your three brothers all in the same place exactly well i guess did you take one of the golf voting no you should have took one. The last one I think we have together. We used to always do family Christmas pictures. Those are ones you could find.

We're dressed up as. Last time we did it, we had like, I'm this elf or that. My mom gets like the weirdest shit. She got us onesies once. It was the Abominable Snowman, a Yeti, or like Bigfoot, a reindeer, and shit like that. I'll send them to you. I don't care. That's funny.

Are you guys actually like you get matching stuff every year for pictures? For a while. Like my parents always did Christmas pictures. Yeah. So we would take them. Those would be our like pictures together. We just kind of stopped because we would throw fits. Like we don't want to do this anymore.

We haven't done in a while but i think the last picture we have together is when i was in college and they both came to visit me they were just both there yeah not to visit me they were just there because they could drink and i worked at a bar like let's go to michael's bar we can drink for free and underage um and I was off work, and I was like, all right, we'll get a picture together because this will never happen again. And it happened to be the same orientation, Steve and me, Andrew, as the last first day of school picture we took when we were kids. Oh, yeah. And so our Christmas present last year was a side-by-side puzzle for my mom.

She was really into puzzles last year. I was like, you've got to build your present. She hasn't built it yet. Yeah, yeah. She's like, oh, I'm not into puzzles. Coincidentally enough, the year she was into puzzles, like building up to Christmas, she was like, puzzle every weekend. She was doing one.

And then she got the one that she was just discouraged with. She goes, this one sucks. Stop doing them. I'm like, I've already bought you four puzzles for Christmas. I mean, that's how a lot of things are nowadays. Remember when everyone was playing Wordle? We're never going to stop playing Wordle. Yeah. And then who still plays Wordle?

You know? I see weird TikTok videos where teachers are playing with their kids. Yeah, but that's also weird. I'm active. Yeah. What's on your For You page? You're just watching. My For You's also weird. He's inactive. Yeah. What's on your For You page? You're just watching. My For You page is weird.

It's a, you ever get, I saw, Jack sent me, I'm all over the place. Jack sent me this morning, did he send you the video of Two Bears, One Cave talking about rogues and zins? No, I did not see that. He goes, see? I go, all right, we're basically Two Bears, One Cave now. Why didn't he put it on the? But, I don't know.

Yeah, it's so funny. We all need to be better about putting more stuff out. I put nothing out. No, why didn't he put it on the... But I don't know. Yeah, it's so funny. We all need to be better about putting more stuff out. I put nothing out. No, why didn't he put it on the group chat? I don't know. He just DM'd it to me on Instagram. Wow, Jack. I see how it is.

I thought it was weird when he DM'd it, and it was his normal account. Yeah, and then our past guest, Josh, saw Jack out in the wild today. Yeah, busy. Saw him out in the wild, and he goes, oh, we should all get together. And I instantly like, well, what are you doing tonight? And he goes, ah, you know what? Bluff called immediately. Yeah.

Instantly retracted his statement of that. Yeah, we couldn't fit another person in here. True. Like, he would have to sit on a lap, which some of the audience members would like. Would love. Would love. So, I mean, that's the big thing now on our podcast is, are we going to start a Patreon just for feet? I think if we did a Patreon, I would get another camera and just put it at our feet and it'd be the whole podcast just our feet showing the whole time.

Like, no edits whatsoever. No edits. Just like this like this but low jesus slipped yeah it's our our views are kind of going down we haven't showed feet in a while that's what i'm saying but i'm still happy we have some it means not everyone is i mean yeah we want we want everyone to be exclusive like it wants to be everyone watch it not just certain people we want everyone to watch it share it to all your friends our demographic is 98 male though that's good i like a few females we're

approachable people we're not no wearing orange hunting hats in a garage full of power tools that's true yeah this is the most manliest podcast you could be right now and you went hunting this weekend i did go hunting and i didn't strike out don't you just feel like i could shoot me no don't shoot me you know there's nothing in it and no air going to it but is it not uncomfortable pointing something at you like that but yeah hunting went well it was the warmest weekend of hunting i've ever been a part of yeah it was it was i mean which is not bad for a sit no but for deer activity for people to know you want it a little colder you want some snow so you can see them a little better yeah but this was weirdly enough the most active year i've ever been a part of people around

us cleared out their property, so our property became like a funnel for deer. See, that's what I think a lot of people or a lot of hunters don't really take into consideration. It's like, when do corn get taken off of fields? When do the rivers or lakes freeze over? Because they're going to go to where the feed is. Oh, yeah.

My dad always said the years that we don't see anything is the years that they're standing cordon on the other property. And did you spill that? I just spilled a beer. Fuck, sorry. I'm sure there's ShamWow in here somewhere. Yeah, whatever. He won't know.

You want me to use one of the t-shirts that he has over here? No. Wait, right. It's right there. No, we're good. There we go. We're good. I was like, where the fuck is the beer?

Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. But yeah, you were right. You know what happened? You fucking hit it with your gun. Did I really? Yeah. Fuck. I did shoot something.

Yeah. You shot some of this. I did, yeah. It was funny. I took back on my statement that'll, I guess, come out tomorrow. But I was like, I'll shoot a doe Sunday. I usually wait for bucks. I haven't shot anything in five years, and I'm not a shoot-to-shoot person at all.

Like, I wait. That's why I haven't shot anything in five years. And I was like, this is a good size. Dropped her. Wait, how long were you in the stand for? It makes it sound like you were five minutes in wasn't that it wasn't that long i mean it was probably hour and a half we sat for like five and a half hours we so we do it in chunks so we'll do like morning

lunch go out in the afternoon um because we're outside, we're not in your prissy little boxed-in. I know, you were in the blind all year. What do you want me to do? I'm jealous. I'm jealous. And then I saw the buck yesterday, and that was good. And I still, as long as I've hunted, still taking a life is a lot when you say it like that

it's a lot man you have respect for it yeah yeah I think that's a big thing to understand and also it's hunting is a national like it's a pass down respecting the land. Growing up on a farm, a lot of people were like,

oh, how do you deal with eating cows? Yeah, but in a way, it's like we're using the land, we're using the resources that we have been given, and this is a tradition we've done for hundreds and hundreds of years yeah you know it's um it's better than getting it from the grocery store like you're providing nothing yeah yeah like like i was like well i'm eating not preservatives you know it's like i don't i've never had uh to go buy milk in my life because and our milk uh is has no like preservatives in it It doesn't have a due date. Granted, it will go expired.

How long does it last? Longer than what the milk in stores will do. But at the same point... Do you have to refrigerate it? So basically what you do is... Educate me on the milk. Yeah, yeah. So basically there's a thing called the bulk tank,

and that's where the milk is. And my mom would go out there... The bulk of the the bulk tank, and that's where the milk is. And my mom would go out there. The bulk of the milk? No, so that's where the – I mean, you're not wrong. It's a terrible joke, but you're not wrong. And my mom would go out there and dip it in and basically dip a pitcher in and put it on the counter. And when you put it on the counter,

or she'd bring it in and put it on and then it would uh you wait and let the cream rise to the top and it's warm the milk is warm um sorry and and uh so you let the cream rise and then when the cream rises to the top uh you take a skimmer and you skim off the top cream, and then you put it in the fridge. You want it cool. And then when it's cool, you're ready to drink. Okay.

You obviously like the taste of that better than anything in the store. Oh, yeah. You would know. Can you describe for everyone else that has never had milk straight from the creamery, what is, like like describe the taste you kind of described it's creamy it's like it's like a creamer like you ever have like butter that you're like oh that's good like it's like creamy butter that's pretty much what like the milk tastes like it's like creamy it's it's delicious it kind It kind of isn't watery as much. I guess some milk, yeah.

I mean, if you're getting the skim milk, why are you doing that? Yeah, that's really what it is. So you guys make your own butter too? We don't. We don't make our own butter. We don't make our own cheese either. We send all our milk. Butter is easy though.

We send all our milk and stuff stuff to a uh oak grove dairy which was a cheese factory um that my friends owned uh my friend's dad owned and now my friend owns um but yeah so they would make they would make the cheese and give it to us as well like they would also like make cheese curds and butter and all that stuff so that's where where we'd get it. So it's not like our milk wasn't going to what we were eating. You can tell the difference between milks. You're like, I know what's good and what's bad. Should we blind taste it?

So here's my game today. He's got a bunch of milks. We should do that once. Have you ever had skim milk? Yeah. I mean, since I've moved out of my parents' place. Since you've gone, you know, L.A. Real breaking Amish over here.

Could you tell the difference in butters, do you think? Like, do you have a butter recommendation when you go to the grocery store? Land O'Lakes is pretty good. Land O'Lakes? Okay, so you know nothing. I know nothing. Yeah, I think I mean like butters, cheese I do. i could tell you some good cheeses okay uh hit me if you're looking for string cheese i do love a good string cheese barkers string cheese why is this they're not

so they don't come in like single packages anytime you put like plastic on cheese it kind of like gets also the taste of plastic so it's So it's like a brick of string cheese. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have to pull one off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called bark. That's like good stuff. Sargento does good stuff.

Yeah. That's locally, you know. Any type of DuPont Cheese Factory, if you see DuPont Cheese Factory. Okay. Their cheese curd's pretty Pretty Known Locally Or Probably Wisconsinly That's always

Why Uiga Is a good Another good one And then Fuck Oh I should know this one Cause my buddy

Used to date the Heiress from this cheese factory Her name is Queen Bree Sorry Princess Bree Yeah she was the heiress Her name is Queen Bree. Sorry, Princess Bree. Yeah, she was the heiress of it, and she did hair. Oh, man. Is she going to marry Cheddar Jack?

Oh, man. I'm sorry. I'm blanking on her family's name, but it's a big one. Is it the Mars Cheese Castle family princess peach um no man i'm gonna have to look that up fuck well that one's from like you have a go-to cheese flavor would you call it a cheese flavor or cheese like brand oh uh oh yeah brand like a kind of cheese yeah um. Category? Yeah. I mean, it depends on what it is. I mean. Depends on what you're having it on.

Yeah. I mean, for like tacos, I mean, it's underrated to get like a sharp cheddar. Oh, I love a sharp cheddar. Yeah. If you're going to get cheese, like because it's not putting a lot on, so you want to taste it. A lot of people are like, oh, we want to get the Mexican cheese. And I'm like, dude, just get a good cheddar.

Get a good cheddar. Colby Jack's like a good, we want to get the Mexican cheese. And I'm like, dude, just get a good cheddar. Get a good cheddar. Colby Jack's like a good, you ever seen that viral video? Colby Jack. That's something to do. I think that's a basic pepper jack on sandwiches. Yeah. Always. That's my burger or sandwich cheese is pepper jack.

Okay. It's a little spice. I like a good Swiss. Hammond Swiss. Hammond Swiss. Yep. Hammond Swiss, but nothing else with Swiss. Oh, yeah, yeah. No. much cheese okay i like a little spice i like a good swiss uh ham and swiss a ham and swiss ham and swiss but nothing else was swiss oh yeah yeah no um but also for some weird reason i don't know why i'm like this i mean my my parents we they got the wheels and doesn't have like it doesn't say what it is on it you just get a wheel of cheese and it's in plastic i mean it doesn't say it doesn't say what it is

on it when you sent the bulk of your milk my parents my mom and dad would my mom and dad would order it from from so they're like all right when they when you come pick up our milk we want we want three wheels yeah yeah or there's like a tricycle yeah and they would and and and i think it would be at a discounted rate, but it would just take it out of whatever. But it's factory's choice? So my parents would have a wheel of cheese. I wouldn't really know. I assume it would be some sort of cheddar or some sort of –

but what I would usually do is I love thin pieces of cheese. Oh, yeah. The thinner – like I want to see through my cheese for some reason that hits so good you did that little uh prosciutto slicing yeah i rewatched that video the other day it was so fucking funny only to me i think but yeah because you gave me a full-on ham you're the first person ever i was like do you want a window ham and you're like you said you're like oh i'm gonna do going to do this forever. And you like stopped. I stopped.

Well, because the ham was just sitting out, which they say it should. But it was sitting in an apartment in downtown Milwaukee with a dirty rag covering it. And it was getting hard. It was so funny. The other day I saw, because it was a prosciutto is what it was. And the other day it said it was a video of all the muscles in your back. And it took a video of your back with the spine and then showed all the muscles that go into your back. And someone just commented, man, why do I have so much prosciutto on my back?

Because that's what it looked like. I mean, they're not wrong. Yeah. But shit, man. Speaking of back, I've been going to a chiropractor. Oh. Get back to cheese. Okay.

No, no, no. Let's go with the chiropractor stuff. I think I'm getting scammed. Well, not scammed. So I have, like, I make deals, not deals, but, like, relationships at the gym and bring health and fitness companies in there. And there's a company, I won't mention their name. They're very nice people.

But they came in and they're like, we do, do like chiropractics and spine health and all that. Oh, my God. And do you know the name of it? All right. Keep going. And so they do like basic assessments. And like you can, without insurance, we'll do a $20 assessment. You get two appointments.

You'll take like the x-rays and stuff like that. Dude, they fucked me up. They're like, everything's wrong with you and then i also like when i went to my credit and their credit i go these are things that i find that are bothering me so like my tmj which why i like i always pop my jaw like that i'm trying to like loosen it up or my head is forward for how much i'm fucking doing yeah editing i'm like i know that's not good and like oh we will help with all that we'll do therapy and stuff like that and i'm like we'll do i did the cash option like every time you come in

you just pay 50 bucks which is not bad for a chiropractor and then i did my first two sessions first one i was like oh it was basic and i, it's going to get more intense from here. And I just scan in and then like, oh, okay, good. Glad you're here. And then scan in next to the adjustment table. They'll crack me in two places. And they're like, you're good to go. Go do your therapies we told you about yesterday.

I go, that it? Yeah. Yeah. I go, what the fuck am I doing here? Yeah. And you paid $50 for that. Yeah. And they just told you what to do.

They'll crack me. I mean, that's, to be honest, that's most health and wellness companies is you're getting told what to do. Like, my job as a personal trainer, I'm'm just i could tell you these are your workouts to do the only thing i'm doing is babysitting you it's adult babysitting yeah well you're also looking for i mean form and stuff like that yeah but the minute you're with someone long enough and they know how to do the form the people who are paying for training are paying for accountability they're not paying for true that's a big thing i mean mean, also, I think also with personal training and all that stuff, you're getting out of bed and you're going to the gym

because also someone else is holding you accountable as well. Yeah, you're paying. Like, I had my first client ever, he goes, listen, I know how to work out. I need advice on, like, nutrition or, like, just pushing me to work out harder because someone's here telling me to do it. Yeah. But I'm paying you, so I come.

And he ended up being my favorite client. That's why we got the Brewers tickets. That guy. Yeah. He goes, I'm literally paying you, so I have to come. I go, okay, cool. And if you don't come, I'm keeping your money. He goes, no, you should.

You have a monetary gain, and you're like, all right, well, I paid someone for me to work out and get stronger. Yeah, I totally agree with that. The chiropractor thing. By the way, real quick, do you see the camera going? Is there a time on it that says it's been recording for X amount of time? It's been recording for 25 minutes and 27 seconds. Thank God.

I freaked out a little bit there. Your camera's not even on. Go ahead. It's all going to be me, baby. Anyways, chiropractors, if you're a chiropractor and you're watching this video i i applaud you you're great you do keep doing god's work uh for everyone else um chiropractors are a scam yeah and uh i will never go to one ever again i got told so i i have a a thing where it's where my hips are rotated. It was just like they've always been bad since high school.

It's just how it is. And I was like, I'm having some trouble running and getting stretched out. It's just painful. And I went to a chiropractor. And then they do the first thing of, oh, yeah, let's take an x-ray. Yeah. And then they have two lines one where you should be one yeah yeah yeah it was like how do i know you didn't draw this yeah it was like all right this is your spine this looks bad and we need to fix it uh here's your hips is the worst we've ever seen it they hear your hips are the worst we've ever i'm like i'm in my 20s at the time i was like i'm not my hips aren't

the worst you've ever seen you've but you've seen people with double hip yeah yeah they're they're like yeah so they uh scheduled me for 74 appointments 74 74 and they're like well you can just pay a monthly fee and come in and the monthly fee was like 375 a month which is more than what i was paying for my car that's like yeah they they scheduled me they're like okay so with your insurance it'd be this but you have this deductible so it might be more and they're like how's uh after two appointments like we learn nothing about each other. Like, how does 16 sound? I go, how about no? Yeah.

How about I give it a little test run and see if the woman who weighs 85 pounds maybe can actually crack my back? So then I do that. I'm like, oh, my God, that's insane. And I was referred to. Did you do all 74 sessions? No. I was referred to by my, at the time, CEO. He was like, they helped me with my problem.

They're going to help you. And did not go. But I found a different one that was like way cheaper. And they were like, okay, we can get you fixed. And I'm going to actually, you know, he's like, I don't need the x-rays i can give an assessment and i can do that and he did it and he was fine he was okay stopped going to that guy because i stopped working there and i told a buddy of mine that story i was like oh yeah they're they're a scam i'm never gonna go to one again and he goes oh i have a friend who who does

owns a caribou real real close to where we are right now. That's why I thought it was them. And anyways, same thing. What's it called? I'm not going to go because it's even funnier. So I go to this place. And they had this fun thing right away where you got to, right as soon as you walk in you answer a question and it was like you put your uh your uh you say yes like you have to guess it is like four four multiple

choices just like a basic trivia question it's a basic trivia question and if you get it right you get money off your appointment yeah it was wild anyways uh so i get there and then they're like okay uh go in and do your you know whatever you have to do that you know your little exercises you do which are basic why close how close anyways uh instead of like um cracking you like a normal chiropractor Like pushing on things They use a machine They use like a A little clicker

And I was like my hips hurt And they're like well what starts in your neck And they did two clicks in my neck And then they're like alright You're good to go we'll see you next week Or whatever I had the appointment for And I Leave And we're like, all right, you're good to go. We'll see you next week or whatever I had the appointment for. And I leave.

And I already paid for like four sessions. I went through all four and I leave and I'm like, not a thing. My hips have been changed. They haven't even touched my hips yet. I was like, I don't know how a lot of chiropractors work, but they have not touched my hips yet. And if you have problems with your hip, maybe just see. Maybe just see. What's up?

And, yeah, so I left there. I never went back. And I told my buddy that, and he goes, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But he goes every week. Yeah. I'm not completely, like, unfinished. Sorry.

So then comes my friend who said I should go. There a wedding oh my god that's fun and i and i get in the pew that i would kind of run a little late and i get in the pew and i sit down i look to my left and literally right next to me is the chiropractor that i just basically ghosted it was like was like, never gone to ever again. And he looks me directly in the eyes and I go, oh, it's kind of just, oh, God, a little fucking shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then we were at the same table at the wedding.

Never made eye contact for months. Just tried to avoid him as much as possible. Oh, absolutely. I'm not completely unsold on the chiropractic stuff where I think with some of the stuff I go, like it definitely, you're releasing gas when they pop you or when they crack you and stuff like that. And it does feel good and it can relieve tension. And some of them give you like massages and whatnot. Just the muscle tension, great.

The whole like we're adjusting you, like when I crack you, your neck's in a different – no, it's not. It's not in a different spot. It's – the fact that my first time I went to a chiropractor, when I was under my family insurance several years ago, like, it's only $50 a session to go. I'm like, okay, that's not bad. I can do that. Or it's like $20, $50.

In the first 30 minutes, the guy explained to me why his version of chiropractics is what it is and different than every other chiropractor you go to. I go, cool, I found the kook in the kook business. That's always good to find,

but what I eventually did is I went for my hips. I just went to PT, physical therapy place. to find but uh what i eventually did is i went for my hips i just went to uh pt uh physical therapy place and i got leaps and bounds better there yeah i got massaged just like i would at the chiropractor place but more intensive they put stim on me they like so there's like the muscles that they're working i think, helps your bones even better. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, if you're born crooked, it's not like we're going to just be back. I had a – I talked about it for a while where the chiropractor I went to to start, not the one I went to now, I have an appointment tomorrow. I got to finish my five sessions I agreed to do. Yeah. But I walked in and I saw the receptionist. I'm like, I'm here for my appointment. My brother referred me like, oh, okay, cool.

Like, sit down. He'll be in in a second. And his dick entered the room before he did. He had the tightest khaki pants I've ever seen in my entire life. And I was telling the new people this. I was like, why don't you go to the other place? They go, because he made me uncomfortable. He goes, do you understand why I'm cracking your back?

I'm like, you should be cracking backs in a different industry, buddy. It is insane. I'm like, I can't stop. It's huge. Just the biggest. I'm like, all right, I'm going to lean into you. I go, do not enter me. Do not enter me.

But, yeah, the gun thing, I asked because in the consultation, like, all right, your spinal health, which is true. Like a lot of it stems from your central nervous system. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you got your forward neck and whatnot and like pressure on it, I get it. Headaches, I understand that. And I believe that, but I go,

Hey, I have congestion issues. I get congested when I'm not sick. It just like, it doesn't, I don't think it flows right. All of a sudden, sometimes I thought I had a deviated septum and she goes,

Oh, we can definitely do that. Yeah. Fun fact about me. I've had a plugged ear since senior year of high school this year i can pop and crack all the time like it'll get plugged i know i'm getting sick because this plugs even more faster than this one does and so i go hey can you fix my congestion? I tried to. She goes, oh yeah. She takes a little fucking mechanical pencil and puts it above my eyes

and then puts it below my eyes, above my eyes, below my eyes. And then she takes my earlobe with a tissue and just goes, and then takes it with this one and she goes, you should be good to go now. I go, no. I think you just almost ripped my earlobe off

that was it she goes yeah you're gonna you'll probably feel that drain by the time you get to the car like definitely not you got a tissue for me i can take no no that's so funny i i uh actually the your first story reminds me of the joke I used to tell. And this is the true story. There is a chiropractor in Clintonville, Wisconsin. You want one of these, by the way? Yeah, I'll take one of the Lambo Leaps. Leap and Lemonades. So this is delicious.

And it is a... So it's Lambo Leap vodka, which is Leroy Butler's vodka, and Robinade, Robin-yont, from the Milwaukee Brewers. Oh. Lemonade. So it's vodka lemonades. All in what looks like an Auntie Anne's pretzel can. Yeah, and it's Wisconsin made.

Okay, I took the Apple Lantern Roasted Pumpkin Hard Cider. Oh, yeah. I Apple Lantern roasted pumpkin hard cider. Oh, yeah. I did not realize this was hard cider. Oh, yeah, it's hard cider. You can also switch it. Not anymore. I can't. Also, why is it called Apple Lantern but pumpkin cider? Because apples

are the cider. Oh, but so it would be Apple Lantern. So it would be a mixture of the two. Oh, but... So it would be Apple Lantern. So it would be a mixture of the two. Because you'd make... Oh, so it's Apple and pumpkin. Mm-hmm.

Okay. If it was just pumpkin I would have been concerned. Well, cider is normally Apple. Anyways. Yeah. Continue.

Sorry. So there's a chiropractor in Clintonville, Wisconsin that is called the Pencis Chiropractor. Are we going to bury them? P-E-N-S-I-S. And during every homecoming, as soon as you go to Quentinville, there's a big sign that says Pencis. And it's massive. And every homecoming, someone sprays over the middle S. So it just says Pen penis chiropractor.

It's the greatest bank ever. Because the pensis is the biggest thing you've ever seen. They erected the biggest sign. Oh, they erected it, didn't they? The biggest part is the pensis. Yeah, they might have had too much vandalism that they moved down and became Price Chiropractic, where I went. Interesting. I went. Interesting. I don't know what the...

I'll have to Google what the place was. That you were going to? Yeah. Okay. It's very close there. Is it on this street, or is it more on the street I work on? Oh. I have to look at it.

Okay. Is it like a chain, or is it like a family business? I don't remember. I have to... Because I go to Chiro One. Oh, no. Yeah. That's not... I'm pretty sure it like a family business i don't remember i have to because i go to cairo one oh no yeah um i'm pretty sure it's a it's a decent company maybe if i said i need more help they'd give it to me but they're like hey can you use this pre-course stretching machine and then some interns like this is how you do it i go one there's directions on it that show me how to do it two i run the gym that does half your promo we got these all over

the place stop telling me to do this my favorite thing is like obviously everyone is just trying to get some sort of healthy way there's so many like you ever watch like 80s and 90s like things people want to do just for their health like you ever see those like machines where someone like stands on it and they just oh yeah like oh you'll lose weight if you just move you just shake your body like yeah yeah i was like that's but to somebody that was like yeah we'll just lose if you just keep shaking you know which technically is like just moving your body so that's their thought process yeah it's but everyone's always trying to do there's so many help the shake weight like there's so many yeah that's it clip it but everyone's just trying to do something man it's

like they're trying to like which is good for them also everyone's trying to make a buck so which is also good for them i mean mean. Yeah, to a point. Yeah, of course. There's also genuine ways to make a buck and be genuine with it. I hope not. I'm not trying to scam people out of a buck. I mean, that's where it gets. Trying to scam people with like health and wellness stuff is kind of where I think chiropractor would be where I draw the line.

Like that's as far as I'd be like comfortable paying for I don't know like a hypnotist to try and not do something I think that's when I do not do you not believe in hypnotists I don't know so when I was at the state fair in North Carolina with Rachel there was like a comedy hypnotist and I was watching him and she's like i ain't buying this bullshit i go i'm kind of like i'm into it and i wanted to see but he did this like whole routine it took way too fucking long to get everyone hypnotized he goes all right this is gonna hypnotize you he picks people from the audience brings him up and then does the hypnotist thing again and then

he does a second test where he just, like, yanks on them. And if they don't fall asleep, they stay awake. He's like, oh, you're not hypnotized? Yeah. And it's like, how many of these are plants? But, yeah, but, I mean, yes and no. I don't think so. At least, I don't know.

But, like, apparently some people are more susceptible to getting hypnotized than others. Yeah, it's gullibleness. Oh, okay. Well, if you're just like, I believe in you actually let your body relax that much. Yeah. Because do you believe in it? No. So would you let your body when they're like, all right, if you relax enough and not in the back of your head be like, this fucking spook is going to-

Yeah, it's hard to get out of my head. I think that's a problem. I would be terrible for a hypnotist. But I did watch one one time and I'm like, oh, that's it's hard to get out of my head i think that's i think it's a problem i would be terrible for a hypnotist but i did watch one one time and i'm like oh that's great and then i bought the um the like the mental like you're supposed to do this like yeah it's basically just meditation it's what it is you're trying to be in a state of meditation but it's it's i i find those people so mesmerizing though like they're the hypnotists and the mentalists the mentalist is crazy and that's like they're doing prep work before they're in the building and they they know their target beforehand yeah they're walking by like the bangles one if you saw like the hard knocks yeah you know that guy walked by burrow

before and had like specific sentences that was like all right you know have you ever had this like the number three at subway and stuff like that like i just that's what i ordered today for lunch or like what'd you get like whatever and then you know four hours later he's probably gonna say number three because it's in his head i know it's so it's so wild how they do it and like seeing kind of behind the scenes is very cool I think to me so I I like I could do card tricks I could do card tricks that make you that make you like right now would be like oh that's fucking cool yeah but then once you found out how I do it you're like it's not as cool it's not as cool it is interesting in the same way and

I love the card tricks that's how I actually got Rachel. It's a card trick. Magic trick. No, Rachel. God. What are you... You stayed with her after seeing a magic trick? Yeah, I showed her the... Do you have some cards?

Do you have... I would love to see a magic trick. The... I need like a table. You know the 21 one? Yeah, blackjack. No, the... I know how to play blackjack.

It's technically a math card trick. Okay, yeah. I can do one of those. Yeah. those yeah that and i was like it's the only one i knew because i know that one and then it's all like slate of hands three three rows of seven yeah that one i know that one um and then one where i can set the cards out of your hand and i can get your card to be the last card that's fun i know that yeah yeah that's a fun one um i do i do it's a show because that Three Roses Seven one, you can end it in multiple places. And it makes it way cooler. I used to hustle people on that one.

That's always a fun thing. So the 21 one, I know your card before I even pick up the pile. Yeah. So what I used to do is I used to text them the card, and they wouldn't, like, obviously they're in the middle of a card trick, so they wouldn't look at their phone. And then I would then show them their card, and then they'd be like, oh, that's great.

And then they'd grab their phone and see that I also put their card on there, and it would blow their mind. Yeah, it is a show. And if you get someone who's done it enough, because every time I want to do it for someone, I've got to like, hey, let me go to the room. I've got to reteach myself real fast. It's pretty simple.

Yeah, once you get it, you're like, oh, this is a joke. Oh, after the podcast, we're going to just do card tricks. But I used to, because I love the magic stuff. Have you ever seen the Now You See Me movies? Oh, yeah, great. Yeah, love them. Love them. Like, my top three jobs I could have in life, if I could pick, I'm dead serious.

No, it's con man, comedian, country music singer. Like, those in that order. I mean, all those are kind of the same. But, like, you ever seen White Collar? No, no, I never. But I have seen The Mentalist. I haven't seen that. But it's basically White Collar is an art thief who's, like, really good at just –

knowledgeable at stuff no one else is knowledgeable at. Yeah. But it's, like, high stakes, high worth stuff. Yeah. Art thief. You would like the mentalist. Forging stuff, yeah. If you like that, because mentalist is basically

a guy who was did tricks, did something like that, and then kind of gets in trouble with the law. And then has to help the law find other people. And then basically he can prove that it wasn't him by doing tricks and stuff stuff yeah yeah yeah i mean that's white collar art thief yep or a psych

help us find other yeah uh where he's where he predicts that he's psychic but really he's just very observant and and can yeah so yeah i love that stuff i i tried teaching myself like cool shuffles and whatnot but i don't think my hands have the dexterity what's what's your favorite card game like do you like cards i hate it you don't like cards so i fucking hate card games yeah i and it's funny because i asked i know there's one card game i like it's called golf um shocker they like skull yeah it's it's it's easy enough but it's still a little bit of a thinker um and it's not overly complicated it's just it's easy enough, but it's still a little bit of a thinker. Um, and it's not overly complicated.

It's just, it's almost like you're playing, um, go fish or not go fish, but like you're just matching cards kind of thing. Okay. Only one I like to play. And then there's one other game,

liars dice, but that's just with dice. I was just taught that it was past me. Oh yeah. Good game. Love that one. Love that one. That's, I mean, it's like past May. Oh, yeah. Good game. Love that one. Love that one. I mean, it's like the card game BS.

And so I'll play those. Anyone ever asks, like, you want to play cribbage? You want to play? One, I don't know how to play. Two, go fuck yourself. I don't. Cribbage is all right. Cribbage is, I need to play with someone who knows if I miss count

because a real cribbage player would not tell the other person that they missed points. So you could leave points on the board. I don't even know what you're talking about. If you know cribbage you know my one. Oh I got a good cribbage story too. But Euchre

is a fun game. That's a big hunting game. We play some Euchre Not by us. I asked my dad and my buddy, do you want to play card games? They're like, fuck off. They just don't want to play with you. No, instead, we just drank an absurd amount of beer and whiskey.

And then we put on stand-up comedy, and that's it. Who did you put on for the... The last couple of years, I've put on myura, my favorite Segura, Schultz. My dad likes Bargatze's. We're putting on him. Bargatze's is great. We put on Shane Gillis this year. Oh, he's so good.

We had a podcast and we had Theo's podcast on for a while. We had a Rogan episode with Schultz on for a while. Just kind of background noise with stupidity. Get my dad to laugh and then all of a sudden my dad sloshed i'm like hey dad uh where'd the whiskey go i guess that i was over served i go you're the bottles next to you you're pouring it yourself we uh me and josh just saw stavi how was that great he he is uh for as much shit as he, but he's a character. Obviously, he's a character.

I was very impressed by his joke structure and what he did on stage. That's a good feeling, rather than the opposite. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, everyone's shitting on Matt Rife's special now, which is very funny because we feel very validated for her. Does he have a new one out? He has a new one out? He has a new one on Netflix and everyone hates it. Really?

Yeah. That's the big thing now. You didn't know that? No. Yeah, big thing. Like, everybody's just shitting on the special and, like, no one likes it. Because it's not good and, like, there's no punchlines and, like, he's trying to be edgy but not. But, like, he doesn't know his lane when he's all just strictly good looking.

Yeah. And that's why the people are there. So you do a bunch of crowd work and you have to shoot a special. You can't just do crowd work. What is your take on that situation? Because quite frankly, if any one of us had that rise that's i'm like that's awesome like i think comedy is subjective and i think he is such a hateable person where that kind of hate wouldn't happen to someone like if that same special was put out by someone who wasn't as attractive

and as popular from TikTok for doing crowd work, he doesn't get that special. One, probably wouldn't get it. Two, no one would say anything. I think that's the problem. It's on Netflix. It would just be another Netflix special. It's the part of, like, people are –

I think the people that don't like it is because the rise seems like he's skipping points. He's skipping to the front of the line. But was he? Because he's been doing it since he was 16. But he's skipping to the front of the line of like, there's road dogs that should be on Netflix that aren't. You know?

Yeah, but at the same time, he took advantage of the system, as you should. I mean, like... But also, the system is kind of also for what's now and what's popular. Yeah. And it's kind of like just hand-pitting. Like, when you see a TikTok star do stand-up, how do you feel about that? Like, and get a room that people who've been doing it for years.

Yeah. No, I get where you're coming from. You know? Especially when we're in the business. Like, imagine seeing someone that I admire and I think would be amazing on Netflix. Yeah. You know, if you put a talent, Sam Talent. Yeah.

If you put one of his specials on netflix amazing great but is he putting in more work than matt rife probably who knows i guess i think on netflix i don't think canane's on netflix i think he's got like 20 minutes on netflix he's in oh yeah he's on the stand-ups yeah stand- No, I can't bring myself to hate it, mainly because, one, it wasn't by his design to blow up. True. And two, if that's what works, let's say, I mean, we're kind of doing the same thing.

Like, hear me out we weren't let's say we don't get views I fucking do this and someone watches it and that's good for us now the crowd works good for him he didn't choose for that one video to blow up and then it go on from here

and then playing the system like if you had if someone told you hey if you do this, you're going to have, why would you not fucking do that? Oh, yeah, but also, like, there does come a point where I want him to succeed. I want him to have good jokes. I want him to kill his special.

He also ends his special, his brand new one, I Thought I Wanted to Do Crowd Work, and drops the mic. So it's like he knows the gag yeah he knows he's leaning into it the the that's a little but at the same yeah and so it's like he knows that he thinks he just killed it and and everyone watches and they're like this is not it man. Yeah, it also depends on who you're seeing reply to it, because there probably also is a decent amount of people who are like, I fucking loved it.

Who knows? I know people that are fans that say they don't like it. They're fans of... Are they fans of Matt Rife, the look, or Matt Rife, the comedian? Yeah, and that's true because that's what it is. a lot of his fans and i think

he would even agree with this they're not really fans there are not groupies i don't know the term like they want to be the next clip and if they're not the next clip they're like oh what's the point there's no like yeah i mean you that's a part of like but people like oh stand-ups getting ruined because uh the crowd work i don't think that um i i think it's i think you're getting a lot more uh of the people that come out that are not stand-up fans yeah be more talky that's all that's what it is yeah you're giving permission to a lot of people to talk and exactly and that not great. Exactly, and that's the only thing. I don't think it's ruined because crowd work has been around way before Matt Rife, and it's going to be around way after Matt Rife.

I also think it's the most natural form of comedy because I guarantee you crowd work is the reason every single one of us is doing comedy. Crowd work is it originates from us with our group of friends making them laugh from a one-liner tune like oh i might actually be able to do this it's also kind of what a lot of us enjoy the most because it's not our material yeah and we're sick of doing it and you write doing it and it feels natural you feel like oh i actually am a comedian i'm not just a robot that's why i say every musician wants to be a comedian every comedian wants to be a

musician we want to do yeah fucking oh but it's also i i mean you're 100 right on that and it's so fun for some when you get a good audience member that is playing along with the bit and we're engaging in crowd work. It's like I just did a show not too long ago. It was a Marbelle show. And I think I told you about it. I was talking about how my dad is terrible on Facebook and all this other stuff. And somebody pointed out they're obviously elder father. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, I bet you have a flip phone. Sure enough, clips it off his belt. that i bet you have a flip phone sure enough clips it off his belt yeah it just has a flip phone and we talked about that for probably we derailed the show for a good five to seven minutes of just riffing off his is uh his flip phone and that was my after the show you tell me what i remembered i did 30 minutes you tell me what i remembered from that show is seven minutes of me talking about a flip phone. That's the fun part. It also makes the audience feel like they're in the moment.

Like there is nothing, at least comedy-wise, you want to feel like it is you and that guy on stage or girl. The minute you're like, they talked at me for 45 minutes, you lost me as a fan. I'm like, don't feel like I was a part of anything. You want to feel part of it, but not actually be a part of it. Yeah, it's almost like, it's also breaking the third wall. It's almost breaking because, oh, one comedian once said, if we make it look like we are just talking and relaxing and not even doing anything, like taking it easy, that's when we're the best.

Absolutely. And we work so hard to get to that point. To get to that point where you're like. To the audience thinks, oh, this dude just. So then we're just having a conversation. That's what people are thinking. That's what you want. I think the biggest compliment, I don't know if it's a compliment.

For me, growing up watching stand-up and thinking back like oh maybe this is kind of what i've always wanted to do is do stand-up is i used to sit in my my dad's office in our house growing up when netflix first came out and you can only get the dvds or the online like whatever and i would watch blue color comedy i would watch bill angvall jeff foxworthy ron white those guys and i love like bill angvall because he told stories yeah he was like my first tom segura it's bill angvall and i in my head honestly thought i was like it is amazing that that guy just got on stage and just started talking yeah just started talking it Yeah. Just started talking. It didn't, in my head, that wasn't scripted.

That was off the top of his head and smooth. It's wild. It's wild. It's crazy. But that's a compliment to that comedian. Yeah. And what they don't see is they practice so many hours doing that. Like, that has been.

Not even on stage. In their head, in the car. Oh, yeah. In the car. Whiting it down. Crossing it out. Like, yeah. It's car, whiting it down, crossing it out. Like, yeah, it's going to a shitty open mic for five minutes to get this. Going to an open mic you might not even get on at, which, by the way,

great that we both got on Voyager. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's always fun, though. That's why Voyager is fun, because you don't know if you're going to be on or not. You go there sometimes, you get on, sometimes you don't. Yeah, I got there, and the first time, so that's my second time over there. Oh, really? Yeah.

First time you brought Rachel. Yeah. Yep. And it was all bucket spots. And in my head, I was like, oh, this is always bucket spots. I forgot it's also kind of a planned show, too. So I was like, oh, there's six of them. I'm like, I got a decent chance. Especially when I showed up and there was four always bucket spots. I forgot. It's also kind of a planned show too. So I was like, Oh,

there's six of them. Like I got a decent chance. Especially when I showed up and there's four of us there and it was going to go on. And then it, it fills out well. Yeah. It's a fun place. It's a fun place.

It's a, it's a good room because it's intimate. It's also kind of how comedy, I love comedy. That's in a dark basement almost. Oh, it's the best it's it's you can play more like you can just goof around you know i love brandon's dugout 54 yeah another

great one i i love that that's like uh people are also almost on the stage for that one that's always fun uh i love it i love that there's someone like right here. Did you ever hear the story of me doing that show? There was someone that's to the left. And so obviously our buddy Diego was taking pictures. Trash pimpy. Trash pimp. And to the left, they're literally just eating to the left of me. They're laughing, having a good time.

And I was like, what are you guys having? And they're like, oh, they got the, like they got the sampler platter. So they had everything on there. I take an onion ring off of there, like, and I give it to an audience member. And I like, I started, I started taking food off the plate and it's like eating. And I'm like, there's so many pictures of me. And then I put an onion ring on me. Like, so like there's pictures that i that after diego like uh sent the pictures like oh here's a bunch of pictures and you can tell pre and post me talking to this couple because pre i'm just like talking and then post on his

onion rings i love it did not talk about the onion rings at all ever i never like brought attention to him i just put them on her hands and just kept going with the story it was just like very fun see i did the exact opposite last time i did that show it was uh well i did the asthmas one which i i was like michael just get on get off this is in your show and then uh chastity oh yeah it's the first time chastity goes that was fucking good i was like i'm on cloud nine right now um but i get on and again someone writes a lot to me like two of them and i go what are you eating right now and i didn't know people could eat down there until that show that's the first time i did it and she goes uh the salmon salad i go excuse me she goes yeah the blackened salmon salad i go we're in the adjacent

room basement bar like where are you getting this food from and just ripped on this salmon salad for like 15 minutes and it killed i love it i go what are you drinking she's like my tiger where are you with your knife right now? Honestly, a black Samson's great, but that is not the place. Yeah, that's not the place. If anyone knew this room, it's as wide as this garage, which is, I don't know, if I did my wingspan, it's one and a half of me. And bar in the back, it's grimy. It's perfect.

It's a killer room. I love that place. It's a killer room. I love that place. It's a good time. Brandon, have us back. We'll do a Fat Chance show. Stand-up show. Yeah, should it go me, you, Jack? No, it shouldn't.

Jack should headline. Jack hasn't seen up in a year. Maybe we'll go Jack, me, you. That would be very fun to see what he comes up with then. Jack could talk for 30 minutes he goes i'm gonna take my shoes you know you know jack could do it though that's any one of us could talk for 30 minutes we've been doing an hour a week for the last yeah 21 weeks how how many hours do you think you have do you think you have an hour do i think I have an hour? No.

No. Okay, so line up all your jokes. Line them up all. I got them on my notes. Well, I did this about four months ago. Okay. I went through in my head, off the top of my head, I go, what are ones you'd be willing to do at a show?

Not ones you've tried once or twice, whatever. You'd be willing to show. You've done Not ones you've tried once or twice, whatever. You'd be willing to show. You've done it at shows, practiced. It's probably 20. But mine are longer. Yeah. So if you ask me to talk for 30 minutes, I can easily talk for 30 minutes. But here's the thing.

I've also, I'm reaching two years of consistently doing stand-up comedy in a month. I haven't been doing it in two years. That's good, then. I mean, it's also good. There are people that don't even do it for two years and say they have 20. There's people that... I'm realistic about it. I could easily, if you asked me to do 20 right,

that's, in my head, not hard. Things that flow together, not hard. That would take me six jokes. There's a couple people that reach out to, like, don't tell, and I know they just started and they, and then they're like, I got 30 and I'm like, where?

What? Like I've seen your five, you don't have five. Yeah. I got six of those. I'm like, I'm like, you ain't got it yet.

Like you haven't even tightened that first joke. My favorite part about Sam though is like when I'm on shows and i want to mix it up i love and i knew i like this in school i hate writing papers yeah but when i got to the point where like i would make like a little outline when i tried and i go holy shit this all weirdly flows together and i can bring it back like Like, I like bringing things back. Yeah. I love that with jokes. I'm like, oh, this,

I can make this one go into this, but I can also make this one go into this and then I'll put this one afterwards. Yeah. And I can bring this weirdly back to this. Love it. There's, I mean, the segues and making it flow does the thing that we were talking about

where, oh, we are making it look like to the audience that we are just talking. Yeah. They don't know that that joke was supposed to be wrote and then that joke was at a different time. I actually wrote this joke before this one. And then that one just added on to this one.

It's like, yeah, it's a crazy map. I love it. It's so fun yeah, it's a crazy map. I love it. It's so fun. You have your phone on loud? Rachel just landed to her connecting flight. Like a crazy, where's she flying to? Atlanta right now. What's she doing in Atlanta?

Connecting flight back home. She took her mom, used our tickets, went to a first Packer game not her first but her mom's first Packer game she's been to Land World 4 but never to the game my parents were there great game to go to

for your first game my mom and or my dad and my little sister were there and me and my mom watched the Packer game so it was like a weird thing so my

we have obviously the same tickets you do and my dad and my little sister went and they were in the sun the whole time. But they had, they had tassel caps and like they thought it would be cold.

They were roasting and didn't have like a hat. So my dad, there's a funny picture. My dad took the seat that like, because we get the thing. He put it on his head and he put it on his head. And it perfectly put it on his ears, so he didn't have to be hands-free in the house.

I'm going to need that picture. Yeah, my little sister got it. It's very funny. We're putting that in the episode. Yeah, and then me and my mom watched the background. My mom, she likes sports, and she is such a sweet sweet lady yeah like when people get hit she goes oh you know like she's like you know my parents the opposite is always like we fucking suck yeah yeah but no but she like she's in it to win it and then she

goes judah i'm not gonna talk because like i am very adamant when i watch the packer game i'm i'm like in it and i'm like yeah i know like oh had this guy open we had a hold there like i get it like i i'll be able to call flags before they happen and uh she she half at halftime i'm i'm like uh flipping to the other channel to watch the other game because i have fantasy players yeah and she goes put the back row. I was like, it's halftime. They're not going to be on. She goes, I think they're probably on. I think it just ended.

I flipped back. And I was like, see? And she goes, oh, okay. So then I flick it back. As Packers was about to start, I flipped back. Perfect timing. They go to commercial. I flipped back to the old game because it's getting close.

And I had some fantasy players playing. And she goes, oh, put it back to Packers. I think they're on. Missed it. I put it back. It's a Burger King commercial. Put it back. getting close yeah and i had some fantasy players playing and she goes oh my back packers i think they're on missed it i will put back it's a burger commercial put it back all right she goes okay and i put packers packers and uh the packers go on a commercial put the back put it back burking commercial like it was like to the t which she could tell me when Burger King commercials were on. That should mean she wanted me to go back to the Tiger game. It was insane.

She never got one right at all. Did you get a whopper after the game? Whopper, whopper, whopper. But it was the snack wraps that they were showing. Snack wraps? They have snack wraps at Burger King, and my mom is at perfect timing every time the commercial's on. I bet she gets Burger King for lunch once this week. Dude, that might be true.

I don't know. My parents aren't big. Fast food eaters? Yeah. My mom cooks a lot. What's your fast food? Like a go-to? Yeah.

I stopped a long, like, I don't know. Jodoba? Chipotle, maybe? That's fair. Wait, you're not like a late night Taco Bell McDonald's guy? No, if I had to build the dream fast food lineup, like breakfast, and dinner dinner dinner uh mcdonald's breakfast chick-fil-a lunch taco bell late night that's in that's an insane lineup by the way there's no way you're having a good day the next day no like if nothing with no repercussions there used

to be chick-fil-a is the best lunch option taco bell Bell is the best dinner, and McDonald's is the best breakfast. There used to be a commercial that said, if your morning was hell, go to Taco Bell. And I used to say, if your morning is hell, you probably already went to Taco Bell. Yeah. I like things that are like fast food, but they're not. Like the Qdoba is the Chipotle.

Yeah, when I think fast food, I don't think Doba, Chipotle. I don't even think Culver's. How about a sub place? No, I don i know you don't it's so fast i think that's yeah it's fast food i would say it's almost like freaky fast yeah wow uh i guess we got classified as like mcdonald's taco bell and like chick-fil-a is kind of like a weird middle or like a burger king wendy's that's like fast fried food i hate how uh friendly they are my pleasure don't meet me before my car but like i see oh i get stressed listen i'm in line trying to figure out what i want if you're walking up here with your ipad and your little vest on you're like can i help you sure i go I go, I just left work. I'm not taking questions right now at the moment.

If it was up to Chick-fil-A, they'd be outside my door being like, do you know what you want in a week? No, I don't. That's funny. Yeah, they meet you too early. Yeah. They give you no time to think, and then you have pressure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You almost, like the original or whatever your program, your default is.

Are you a responsible fast food orderer? Or are you – because whenever, at least for me, if I'm getting fast food, I'm hungry. And I might be a little buzzed. I have no filter, no like, hey, maybe we don't need all this. If I'm getting fast food, I get way too much. Like a normal fast, if you can get $10 worth of fast food, realistically, go to Taco Bell, get the number seven, whatever that is. You're going to be fine.

It's going to satisfy your craving. But in my head, I'm like, the number seven will be good. I get some chicken chalupas. Give me that bean burrito. It's only good i get some chicken chalupas give me that uh bean burrito it's only a dollar i don't think give me the dessert then you have two of it and you're like i ain't fucking eating this so you put it in the fridge yeah like i mean i'm not a big fast food eater like i'm the same way as you i'm like i don't go to a lot of fast food so like if i'm there that means i'm on the road i'm very hungry. Yeah. I guess I am a little compulsive.

I think if I'm at McDonald's... I always add something. If you get chicken nuggets, that's not going to fill you up. Get a burger, too. Yeah. Get a McChicken. That's a big chicken nugget. Give me 10 and a big one.

That's basically what it is. It's really what it is it's really what it is i do the same thing if i'm gonna get fast food though my options like my ideal ones it's the chick-fil-a's is probably actually the grossest one um chick-fil-a is delicious though culvers i like sub i love sub places cousins yeah jersey mike's jimmy john's hate subway well what's your Solvers. I like Subway. I love Subway. Cousins. Yeah. Jersey Mike's. Jimmy John's. I hate Subway. What's your favorite out of those?

What's your favorite Subway? Cousins. And then Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's is great. I didn't have Jersey Mike's. Jimmy John's is quick. Jimmy John's is like, hey, we're going out tonight. Let's go get a Subway quick.

I'm going to throw you one. Pot Bellies. Too much of it in college. I'm over it. I like the cold Sub. Okay. I like the cold sub. Okay. I like the cold sub. Okay.

Otherwise, like noodles and company. I had that today. Really? Yeah, because we had a work meeting. I had noodles and company. You know what I miss at noodles? This would have been what I'm not thankful for. I haven't even edited that yet, but this is what I'm not thankful for.

Them getting rid of the bread. You used to be able to get at Noodles & Company. You used to be able to get, like, pan bread or something like that. I would get the big mac and cheese crusted chicken breast over the top, and then you get a side of, like, almost like naan bread, and then I'd make a mac and cheese chicken taco with it and then eat the rest of. I don't even know what you're saying. Oh, my God. It sounds like.

Dude, it was. I'm King Carbo. But I loved it. It sounds great, though. Mac and cheese taco. Delicious. Yeah. I like getting something new from Noodle Company.

I'm a big fan. I'll eat noodles without company. It's just like. Oh, I love pasta. Pasta's great. What's an underrated note I don't think I'll ever get? I was thinking about this the other day. It's like when I was in high school, I'm like, oh, I didn't care about what I ate at all.

And now I was thinking like, I used to like Panda Express because you got so much food. And in my head, I think on the way back from honey i don't know if i'll ever eat at panda express again i don't know if i'll ever eat at panda express again i go i don't know if i'll ever eat at an arby's ever again it's one of those things i'm like i'm never craving it that bad to go get it over something else see the thing was i grew up with a lot less options than i have now yeah and i probably eat way healthier than i did when i had less options you know because it's like i'm going to like just a grocery store getting food you're not as active now so you realize food is way more important in your life than before whereas you were doing the

multiple sports like for a lot of people call the the freshman 15 isn't because you're eating drinking more yeah you're drinking more probably actually eating less than you did in high school you're moving less is that freshman 15 yeah i mean obviously the freshman 15s happen to a lot of people but obviously it didn't help i mean i played sports in college so it didn't happen to me yeah thankfully but it was like but you also on a regiment in college when you play sports where you're like oh i'm working out this time i'm eating this time yeah like you you literally have this time and then like there is no time to get bored and just eat because you're bored yeah i mean a lot of people in college they they have a freedom about themselves where they're like oh i haven't had

this much time it's insane do stuff do you remember like in high school when football practice ended and you could just go home after school and you're like it's daylight outside like you get home it's 2 30 you're like what the fuck do i do yeah yeah the the freedom in college is like oh i don't have any responsibilities right now like there's a guy i know that flunked out of college because he played too much call of duty just because no one was nine years get through college there was no one there to be like hey don't be call of duty till 4 a.m there was no one there to tell him that yeah and he flunked out college is like the weeder class to life it really is you can't it it's the ultimate college is a huge social experiment, too.

Oh, yeah, for sure. You know what sounds like a great idea? Let's take 40,000 kids, put them in one town, get really loose with the rules bars, and just say, hey, you should go to school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's make it cost a lot of money for their parents and say, let's see what happens.

And you know what? Some of them become doctors and lawyers. Some of them are like, why the fuck did we pay for school? Some of them are just like middle of the road. I'm kind of middle of the road. I mean, I do weird things. It's connections now, but. It's your choose your own venture, bud.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, college is what you make of it, and that's what any kind of school is what you make of it um college not i mean high school kind of but i mean like there's i mean i grew up in a very small town so like there's people that i know that college was not right for them college absolutely would have literally they they would be throwing money in the garbage going to college. So they went to tech schools or they went to trades in high school. There's a couple people that I know that they would go half day at school and the other half day they go to work.

And I'm like, yeah, you're welding. Like, yeah, go learn that trade because that's what you want to do in life. You're going to make more money than most of us, actually. Is money the key to happiness? Part of it. Fair enough. I think people are lying to themselves if it doesn't help. Sure.

I don't think it's the key, no. Yeah, okay. But I think it's a good PED. I think the key to happiness is what you make. Also, what you do and pursue and passionate about. But also, money can fuel what you're passionate about as well. If you're passionate about running, you should have some money to get some good shoes. You're going to use the money that you do

on the things you're passionate i think that's where the happiness comes in absolutely it's a good i mean it's literally funding what you want to do this is a good way to end this too because i used to end the normal episodes with fun but serious questions yeah i don't know what the key to happiness is i think the key to happiness is actually being – is balance. I mean, it's half of my little, like, walk the line tattoo. You're going to sway one way a little bit. You're going to have to sway back to get back to the middle. Money's not the key to happiness.

Things aren't the key to happiness. I don't even think friends or, like, family family or I think it's a culmination of everything. I think if I had to say one thing, it's being not complacent but having the ability to appreciate where you are while maintaining a drive to continue. Because if you appreciate where you are but that's it, you become complacent and you go stagnant. People need – we need problems to solve. Whether like you believe it or not, your life could be perfect right now. But as humans, we create problems.

That's what we do to solve them. Whether it's minute like, hey, you get up, have all the money in the world. Like what's your problem? Your problem is you're hungry so you go solve them. Whether it's minute, like, hey, you get up, have all the money in the world, like, what's your problem? Your problem is you're hungry. So you go solve it. You're like, I'm antsy. I'm gonna go for a run. You solve it. Like, having something to work towards, but appreciating that you're working towards it,

I think is my key. Yeah. It's good. I like that. Yeah. Should we end it? Yeah. Fat Chance Podcast. Road end it yeah fat chance podcast road to a thousand road to a thousand also like merry christmas like and subscribe to the podcast we maybe clip this i don't know if anyone knows a christmas bar in the milwaukee area that is willing to let us record at it, either during busy hours, preferably not, maybe a little early,

that's decorated to the nines. I mean, I want it. I want Santa all over it, okay? And that just turned us off every year. Let us know because I would love, I think it would be fun to just do a little Christmas bar review and, um, jingle all the way.

Jingle, jingle, jingle. We're done.