Fat Chance Podcast - Winter Wonder Boys #3

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Jack learns how to make egg nog. Judd storms the capital. Michael buys s*x toys for his family . CHECK OUT THE NEW FAT CHANCE SHORTS CHANNEL!!! https://youtube.com/@FatChanceShorts?si=wCjiBc0ddHEYk_bs Get your Chewzie TODAY! https://www.thechewzie.com Check Out The Crew: Michael Cuske - @michaelcuske on everything Judd Reminger - @juddremingerscomedy7298 @juddreminger on all other socials Jack Cerasoli - @jackthedragon1 or @jack_c_comedy

I would never give a sex toy to my grandma. Oh, I would. Okay, follow-up question. If you had to give sex toys to your family, what are you giving your mother? What do we start with? Our MyBoneToPick with Cheosy not sending us 2.0? Wait, you're talking about this sweet, sweet piece of Americanized machinery?

This is what he wants. This is amazing. Let me tell you something. Do you think that Choosy's trying to, like, break us apart? Yeah, I think he is. That Choosy's trying to get me to move out there with him. You want to do a podcast? I'll be out there with you.

But actually, he has started doing a little bit of pouches, I guess. He says he didn't really do it before. Wait, he just straight cut? He never did anything. He did it a couple times, I guess. He does it occasionally, but all of his buddies were ones that did it. And he had the idea, the vision, to create not just the choosy 1.0, but the choosy 2.0, which is pretty much the same thing except a smoother glide on the bottom

where your sneaky snuff can go. Let me tell you something. Drinks taste better on a choosy 2.0. So I have a choosy 1.0. Is that my choosy 1.0? And I have a choosy meow.0. You took my choosy 1.0. That's going to be a relic one day.

Don't take it. I won't take it home. Don't take it. That's going to be a relic one day. Don't take it. I won't take it home. Don't take it. That's going to be something you find on the eBay. On the eBay. For so much money. Oh, you have a fun little pocket in yours. You have a pocket?

Yeah, the whole Meow.0 just went over your head, didn't it? I didn't look at your shirt yet. I can't see the beer from it. What's on your shirt? What kind of rug rash shit? Llama, llama, llama. Junior Whopper, llama, llama. Okay, vote.

If that's a Christmas sweater or just a sweater with a llama on it. You know what that is? That's a bowling sweater. It's a holiday sweater. That's a bowling sweater. A bowling sweater? Yes. I mean, the colors are what you'd find on an old bowling alley.

Or even a new one. Or even a new one, yeah. I was going to say it's like a skiing sweater. What thrift store did you steal this from? I did not steal. Let's throw that out there. I think I bought it from... I don't remember.

But it was a thrift store. I don't remember. I don't remember where I got it. You know what? I like it. I like it. I think what? I like it. I like it. I think it's a holiday sweater.

It's a sweater. So are we doing ugly sweaters or are we doing Christmas sweaters? You know what? I'm happy. Look at the wall behind you, fuck up. What do you think? Ugly sweaters usually is like the same thing as a Christmas. Like that's the thing. Yeah, ugly sweater.

I mean, I'm fine with it. Is it Christmassy? No. But did he kill the ugly sweater? Yes. Absolutely. It's a good ugly sweater. Technically you're not doing the ugly sweater but you did give us preface last episode that you're only doing that. I'm wearing this every day.

I'm not washing it. Okay. That's an interesting choice. 20 days to go. And then when I get done with it. You notice we're going to get farther and farther apart. When I get done with this, I'm going to flip it inside out and I'll show you the North Star I left in there. And the amount of leaky dick stains you might have. A little North Star little.

From my butt hole. I should probably do the. My girlfriend today asked me if she would ever... Or no. It's a very nurse question. She goes, would you ever wipe my butt if I was in the hospital? I was like, you'd have the cleanest butthole on the wing for sure. Because you would wipe it so much or you'd eat it?

I mean, I would wipe. I would wipe. Because the way you said it sounded very sexual, but you would wipe it so good. No, it was a loving answer. Like, yes, of course I would clean your asshole for you. That's nice of you. Would you clean your lady's butthole if she was, like, dying in the hospital and all the nurses were just, like, amputees? Of course.

Also, I think a bidet is in my future, for sure. Bidets are sweet. Never done. Never done. No, but I'm going to put them in. I love bidets. I think this wrapping paper has given me an absurd amount of extra energy. That's exactly what we need.

Like I'm what before I was like. Tell them it was wrapping paper. I painted my walls. Just a million, million Buddy the Elves. Cuskies. Oh, yeah. I'm not even here. I don't have it.

It's cut. But you get to see all of it. You get to see all of it. You see just a corner. It looks like there's a picture of Buddy the Elf. Next episode, I'll finish the wall. Is this a common thing, doing just Baileys on ice? Really?

I've only ever done it in coffee with Jameson. Yeah, or like with some eggnog. On ice is good. Ooh, let's do spiked eggnog next episode. Ooh, okay. Are you an eggnog fan? I'm an eggnog fan. You have to be.

Yeah, I don't mind some eggnog. Did you guys make your own eggnog? No. No? How do you nog an egg? You nog it up. Tip first. Tip first.

Do you know when you rub your head of somebody under your armpit? Yeah, no. That's what you do to eggs. A little one? Yeah, no. And that's what you do to eggs. A little one? Yeah. I feel like it's just, are there even eggs in eggnog? Yes. Yes.

Clip that. Clip that. Gem of. But think about what, you just crack an egg and throw it in some milk. That's pretty much what they did. They whisk it and then they put some cinnamon in it. Do they even have eggs in eggnog? That's a real question to ask.

That's a real question to ask. What about it is eggy? Are there potatoes in potato salad? Yeah. You can very clearly see the potatoes in the potato salad. You cannot see eggs in the nog. In the nog. What's a nog eggs in the nog. In the nog. What's a nog?

Just the nog. It's my egg nog, but I take the eggs out. Well, I mean, if nog is something and egg is something, what are the other types of nog? Pineapple nog. Just pineapple nog? We're all waiting for the next one. I was hoping for someone to hop in. I thought you might go like watermelon.

No, I was trying to think of another thing that wasn't egg. But out of all the things, it was like quail eggnog, duck eggnog. So it would have all just been eggnog. Dinosaur eggnog. Dude, that would be pretty good. Kind of like the oatmeal, the dino oats. By the way, best oatmeal was the treasure hunting or the dino egg oatmeal. You know, if you ate enough of them when I was younger and you sent in the packets, they

gave you a free Lego. I got the free Lego. Just one piece of Lego? No, no, no. It was like a mini Lego. And it was a treasure hunter one. Yeah, I got a bunch of... When you build Legos, the crown pieces, you look at those little gems.

Yep. The treasure box, they sent you like nine of them. Oh my God, it was amazing. Plus, you look at those little gems. Yep. The treasure box, they sent you nine of them. Oh, my God. It was amazing. Plus, you got to eat the dinosaur egg oatmeal. It's so good. Have you had it? No, I don't think I've had it ever.

We got to get that. I don't really eat oatmeal that much. I'm not 74. Compared to us, you are. I know. As I said, I was like, damn it. I'm also the oldest one here. Are our levels okay?

For some reason, your mic is just quiet. Okay, that's fair. Should I yell into it? I bet you won't. I feel like when I watch all the time, I'm the loudest one. It sucks. Do you guys want to play the game? Do you want to play the game or do you want your presents first?

Let's play the game. Let's play the game. Get presents last because the game is going to go quick. Presents aren't's play the game. Let's play the game and get presents last. Presents aren't that great. Okay, that's fine. We can still play it. Let's play the game. Let's play the game because it's going to get us in the spirit.

Because it is a Christmas game. Oh. Yes. Or is it a holiday bowling alley game? It is not a holiday bowling Christmas party. I looked up naughty Christmas would-you-rathers if we want to do that today. Yeah, let's do that. They're not that naughty. My game is Christmas trivia.

Okay. How well do you guys know Christmas? Pumpkin pie is not a Christmas thing. It is not. Bananas, 4-0-1-1. Are eggs an eggnog is not going to be a question, but it could be. It should be. Yeah.

All right. I'm ready. All right. I'm ready. All right. Jesus' birthday. Do we need to buzz in? There's 10 questions, and you have to buzz in saying your names. Sound Michael? Saying our names.

I got to say Michael? Or you can just go buzz. Yeah, let's do buzz. What if I say buzz and he says buzz and you can't differentiate the buzzes? All right. Answer number one is Jesus' birthday. Say buzz. Buzz. Jesus' birthday. Say buzz. Buzz.

Jesus' birthday. Say buzz. Buzz. Okay. I think I got it. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Okay. What is the best-selling Christmas song of all time? Buzz. All I Want for Christmas. Incorrect. Hmm. Really?

That is the longest standing on the Billboard charts. Oh, okay. Okay. Buzz. Jack. Jingle Bells. Incorrect. Are we going to go again, or are you just going to give us the answer?

You can go again. I'll let you guys go again. Buzz. Jingle Bell Rock. Incorrect. Are we going to go again, or are you just going to give us the answer? You can go again. I'll let you guys go again. Buzz, Jingle Bell Rock. Incorrect. Buzz, White Christmas. I said it first. Jack said it first, and that is correct. Really?

White Christmas. Were you going to say White Christmas? No, I wasn't. Bing Crosby. I wasn't. Bing Crosby? I knew it was an old guy. Bing Crosby?

That's a made-up person. Dude, that's insane. Well, then obviously the next question is, what is the top grossing Christmas movie? Buzz. Home Alone. Michael. Santa Claus. Incorrect.

Home Alone. Incorrect. Buzz. Elf. Incorrect. Why did you have to think about that? Buzz A Christmas Story

Incorrect Buzz Christmas Vacation Incorrect And also it's National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Duh Buzz Charlie Brown's Christmas

Incorrect Buzz A Christmas Carol Incorrect You Buzz, A Christmas Carol. Incorrect. You guys aren't even sniffing it. Buzz, Scrooge. Incorrect. That's A Christmas Carol.

Oh, yeah. Duh. Not homo. Can we get a hint? Older or new? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can give you a hint. There's adaptations of it. There's adaptations of it

Like there's multiple Of it But Buzz Frosty the Snowman Incorrect Buzz the Grinch Which How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Buzz Jim Carrey's The animated one The original one Yeah yeah Damn Incorrect You said Jim Carrey's

Incorrect The original one The old school one Yeah that's incorrect How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Which one is it? The most recent one? Correct.

Really? The most recent Grinch in 2018 is the highest grossing Christmas movie. Of all time? Yeah. I'm calling bullshit on that. Nope. But all right. That's what it is.

Does he get a point for that? Yeah. Really? Two points for nothing. That's why you don't have the wallpaper. Home Alone. Home Alone was the longest one until 2018. Gotcha.

That one was a good movie. That's a good one. I made one. All right. In the movie, Miracle on 31st Street is based on a real-life department store. What department store? Macy's. That is correct.

Sorry, I didn't say Buzz. Buzz Macy's. That is correct. I was going to be my guest, but I've never seen that movie. But that was the one I was going to think. Isn't that every time a bell rings and an angel gets its wings? Isn't that what it is? Yes.

And then also, I think that's Wonderful Life, actually. That's what it is. But also, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is all the Christmas stuff. Macy's is synonymous with Christmas in terms of department stores. It is. No one's like, we're going to go for Christmas. No one's saying JCPenney's. No one's going to Kohl's.

No. Yonkers. Let me give you my Kohl's cash. Can I get a little blender, please? A little Hamilton Beach action. Hamilton Beach. Get them on the pot. Hamilton Beach.

In Home Alone, where are the McAllisters going on vacation? Buzz, Paris, France. That is correct. Good one. Michael is on the board. Three for Jack. One for Michael. All right.

What country did eggnog come from? Buzz. Jack. Germany. Incorrect. Eggland. Buzz. Jack.

Switzerland. Incorrect. Buzzland. Buzz. Switzerland. Incorrect. Buzz. Is it European? Poland. Incorrect. Buzz. What?

Russia. Incorrect. Buzz. Sweden. Incorrect. Buzz. Iceland. Incorrect. Buzz.

America. Incorrect. Buzz. Portugal. Incorrect. Buzz. Portugal. Incorrect. Buzz. China. Incorrect.

Buzz. Pakistan. Buzz. Israel. Incorrect. It is European. Okay. Buzz.

Bulgaria. Incorrect. Buzz. Luxembourg. Incorrect. Bug. Bugs. Bugs.

Buzz. Italy. Incorrect. Buzz England. Don't sip like that. That is correct. Wait, England made it? That is correct. England made something?

I mean, think about it. It's a very white drink. It's so exotic. We can cut that to make it look like you got it right away. You should cut it. Guess who cuts it, though? Me. It ain't going to happen.

All right, number six. Which song has the lyrics, Everyone's dancing merrily in their new old-fashioned way? Buzz? Jack. Jingle Bell Rock? Incorrect. Incorrect.

Jingle Bell Rock? Incorrect. Everyone's dancing merrily in their new old-fashioned way. Buzz Sleigh Ride? Incorrect. I don't even know if that's a song. It is. Okay.

Wait, why am I... Buzz Jingle Bells? Incorrect. Buzz Pass. Pass. Jingle Bells? Incorrect. Buzz. Pass.

That's a funny concept, the buzz and pass. Never mind. It's a game with 22 people. Buzz pass. Buzz pass. Popcorn Michael. Buzz. Rocking around the Christmas Tree?

That is correct. Wow. That is three for Mike. Dude, I was singing it in my head. I'm like, I think I know it. But every time I said it, I go, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell. We have a tie ball game, folks. All right. Which country started the tradition of putting up a Christmas tree?

Buzz, Germany. That is correct. Wow, that was a good guess. Thank you. I guess Germany the first one because it's a very Christmas heavy. Is it really? You know, it's going to be...

They didn't like Jews very much. Did they not or was just one really specific guy? Well, they all got fooled into it somehow. Did they all or just like a few specific guys? They invited Krampus as as well i don't have anything about krampus they did invite krampus i was about to say the transition from his game to my game was going to be pretty dark but thank you for easing us into it because i'm pretty sure the first question is like would you rather fuck santa or give an alpha blowjob so um would i be fucking

santa or blowing would i be also fucking s Santa No you're getting I think you're getting fucked by Santa Fucked by Santa Actually no Yeah fucked by Santa Because giving up a blowjob is like blowing a kid Getting fucked by Santa He's got such a belly He can't fuck me anyway

I gotta blow all the ass Yeah but if the dick doesn't get all the way in It's kind of like getting fucked by a kid too then Yeah but at least he's got a beard What if it's summertime He still keeps the beard You think so Yeah he just got baby oil on.

That's fair. All right, number eight. In the movie Elf, what is the first rule of the Code of Elves? Buzz. Jack. Oh, fuck. This isn't my favorite Christmas. I'll pass it for right now because I don't remember it.

Buzz. Jack. The best way to spend Christmas cheer is singing sing, and laugh for all to hear. Incorrect. Buzz, there's room for everyone on the nice list. Incorrect. Buzz, don't tell normal people about Santa? Incorrect.

Believe in Santa? Incorrect. I don't have the slightest clue. I'm going to be honest with you. And we're going to piss off some elf fans. Yeah, fuck. It's right here. Buzz.

Do you want me to tell you? Yeah. No. I give up. Buzz, there's nothing else like Christmas? Incorrect. No, don't do it. Buzz, sugar? Incorrect. No, don't do it. Buzz, sugar?

Incorrect. All right, I'm putting my foot down. I'd like to know the answer. Treat every day like it's Christmas. Ugh! I knew it was something like that. This is kind of good. Isn't it nice?

Yeah. All right, what company was the first to use Santa in their advertising? Buzz, Coca-Cola. That is correct. Wow. 4-4. Lick it like a candy cane pole. 4-4.

4-4. Last question. This is the last question. For all the marbles. All the jingle bells. Get it right. What video game console sold the most units for Christmas? Buzz.

Atari. Incorrect. Nintendo 64. Incorrect. Buzz. PlayStation. Buzz. Four.

Incorrect. Three. Incorrect. Buzz. Two. Buzz. One. One.

Is it two? Two. PlayStation 2. God, I got PlayStation right. I got that on Christmas. Did you really? I got PlayStation 2. God, I got PlayStation right. I got that on Christmas. Did you really? I got a GameCube. I got a GameCube.

You got a GameCube? I got a GameCube, yeah. And Jack takes it for... Of course, Jack's going to always take it. I mean, I did give you half the answer, so you're welcome. You did. You guessed wrong the first time. He also passed you.

I did throw the ball over to you. I wanted to keep it interesting. Every day like Christmas. God damn it, I should remember that. You're going to watch Elephant Man. That was good. That was good. So I would fuck Santa.

What would you do? Yeah, probably. I'm fucking Santa for sure. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, probably. Maybe some of his magical spirit just kind of like runs through you then. If he slayed me with his holiday spirit.

Do you think you'd do it in the sleigh? Probably. There's presents in there. Maybe he'd give me one. Do you think he'd give you one as a parting gift? Yeah, but his presents will be all the way in. You know what I mean? Sorry.

I'm going to make it snow. I'm just shitting PlayStation 2s because that's how Santa makes presents. It's just Frog the Ejaculate. So you got a PlayStation 2 on Christmas? You got a GameCube? I got a GameCube, yeah. What was your best holiday gift that you remember? That was probably, that takes the cake. I think the GameCube, we've shared this story a few times,

where I think his was yours parachuted in. It was at that Christmas. Yeah, mine was when I found it in the fireplace. I think his was yours parachuted in. It was at that Christmas. Yeah, mine was when I found it in the fireplace. My parents and my grandma went in and got my brothers and I a mini crotch rocket one year. Oh, yeah, yeah. Those are always fun.

Like the ones that sit tall off the ground. Yeah, yeah. Until one summer, we're using it, and my brother's just doing laps around the neighborhood. My dad's like, slow down. He goes, I can't. He just goes around. He's like, slow the fuck down. He goes, I can i can't and finally we realized the gas pedal stuck or like the throttle stuck so my dad's like drive at me and meanwhile my brother's on laps he's going in people's

backyards trying to get this thing to stop can't just drive at me my brother i don't know might be six seven just picks my brother up off this thing going probably a good 20 miles an hour, just lifts my brother off it as it drives past him, and we watch this thing just skirt down the side of the asphalt. I think a month later, my dad kind of fixed it up, sold it to the neighbor. Neighbor kids. Did it crash into somewhere or just fall on its side? I mean, no one's on top of it to balance it,

so it just kind of wobbled off and then just slid along the asphalt. And then he sold it to another kid in the neighborhood. That's some good on-the-toes thinking, though. Drive it at me, I'm going to sweep you off of it. That's parental thinking right there. I'll catch this kid. What about yours? What was yours? That's a good question.

I think PlayStation 2 is great. That was like a doink gift to me and my brother. He doesn't have siblings. Yeah, I think the thing about Christmas is like I would always get something for the season. We're basketball season, so I would get basketball shoes. Or for my birthday, it's going to be baseball season. I get baseball stuff. So it's always in the moment.

Set it up. I remember I got a pair of Jordans. That was super cool that I wanted for basketball. I've only had one pair of Jordans in my life. I've never been a huge Jordan guy except for that pair. And I've looked for them several times since because I would wear that pair again. No idea what they're called. But I don't know.

They're just too clunky for me. They're very bottom heavy. Yeah. Yeah. And then I don't know how he played basketball. I was going to say, I don't know how anyone played basketball in those shoes at all. It's a streetwear shoe now. The ones that are made now are a lot better.

Yeah. I can attest to that. For actually playing or for just streetwear shoe now. The ones that are made now are a lot better. I can attest to that. For actually playing? Yeah. Just streetwear. The technology that they have in them is very advanced for what you're trying to do. The arch support and things like that are amazing in the new Jordans. But they're not as streetwear-y as the other ones.

And Jordan 1s are insane. Yeah, they're sweet but they're all so many of them yeah and now like shoe collectors make one could be 500 another pair could be like 80 and you're like why it's almost the same color how do you tell the difference in those fake ones too i've seen videos where people are like slapping the bottom of them or they're like I've seen videos where people are slapping the bottom of them or it smells a little funny or that line is just slightly off. Yeah. It's insane. I saw someone.

And they probably bought those fakes for $500, $600 too. Dude, when I was in New York, I saw people just wearing, I knew they were $600 shoes. They were like the Travis Scott's limited edition. Oh, God. With the backward Nike swoosh. And I'm like, that's a $600 shoes. They were like the Travis Scott's limited edition. Oh, God. With the backward Nike Swoosh. And I'm like, that's a $600 shoe. And then I saw them on the Chinese website, and I was like, $30? I was like, I'll get them for $30.

No one's going to. No one knows. No one's getting close enough to be like, are those real? And you're not in the shoe circle for it to actually matter. Like, dude, why are you wearing fucking fake shit? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that's why when I I go get, like, this stuff, I'm not going somewhere nice to get a nice sweater.

I'm like, bought this for 15 bucks at TJ Maxx. I almost bought it for you, and I should have bought it for you. I would have loved that. Can you find it again? Oh, yeah.

I just go to TJ Maxx. Marshalls. Marshalls, sorry, yeah. On 108th and Cleveland. Go there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right by Natty Oaks.

Right by where I work, yeah. Do you guys want your presents? Yeah. So this is part two. It's not special. I apologize. Technically, his is a little more than yours. It's just the way it came. It's pretty easy.

It's more socks. Okay it cup socks? It's more socks. Okay, don't peek in. You're this one. Mary and Bright. Mary and Bright. Oh, you can't open yours. Do not open yours. They just made me think of you guys.

First, I saw Jack's first. I was like, I need one for Judd. It's on brand.'s on so and in solidarity guys i'm wearing my swedish fish ones as well that's sick that's amazing i mean jack did say his favorite halloween candy is dots i saw that and i was like i gotta get you get you dots under and i had those first and i was like, I got to get you dots. And I had those first and I was like, all right, this is great. And then I saw this the other day and I was like, oh, my God, there's cow ones. But my favorite part is it says swag on it.

That's hilarious. I'm going to put my little udder through this. There you go. That's amazing. Those are riot. These are so fun. I love these. Yeah, so his technically comes with socks too. This is hilarious.

You can definitely see my wiener through these. Oh, yeah, you can. These are going to tighten up. Need you guys to put them on. Not now like we did with the socks. Don't do that. But you need to put them on and then show your ladies. And let me know how they react.

I know you'll film it. So, yeah, that's part two. I'm kind of doing like a weird 12 days of Christmas for you guys. Little gimmicky stuff, but I think it's fun. Wait, you're putting socks on right now? Yeah, so his came with socks, too. Oh, that's fun. The dot socks are pretty dope.

Yeah. I would definitely wear those to a wedding. Oh, yeah, those are good wedding socks, for sure. Yeah. Is everyone feeling a little dotty right now? I wasn't sure what size you guys were in the trouser region, so I just went safe with larges. That will work for sure.

Yeah. Show the audience, man. No. You do look like a little kid when you have your hood up. In the background, too, it looks like he's just like nuzzled in. Like, Mom, give me my controller and my Hot Pockets or my pizza rolls. Your controller was out. Were you gaming a little bit recently?

Yeah, I played a little bit of Madden. I'm in a Madden league with some friends. I played Madden the other night, too. I played for like five minutes. I'm like, I'm over this. Who is your team? So the first round we did. Oh, they drafted, didn't you?

Yeah, there were six of us. And we had like a random generator that basically gave us a team that were the top ten teams in the game. And then we played a season. And what place did you come in? I came in third. Okay. That's not bad.

Yeah, there's a very big like like a play like just how good you are gap like it's crazy between the bottom three and the top three and the top number one is like so much better he just plays non-stop he's a nurse so like he can play like all day and all night if he wants to because he has like three days off four days on um so he'll play non-stop and um so he's really good and then so based off of like where you finish this one you got like uh ranking some of the buccaneers and then like someone's the chiefs or eagles and someone's like so what do you what do you want do you want you want a mobile quarterback when you're playing madden right you want a mobile quarterback and then probably that's like the number one thing you're looking for you want like michael vick

was the cheat code in 04 madden i remember that yeah and now it's like lamar jackson or josh allen josh allen or even jalen or pat but yeah those are all good i yeah playing madden back in the day like vick was great and then d Dante Culpepper was good with Moss. Donovan McNabb, T.O. And then when I started playing, because, like, we would play before basketball games, and, like, we'd have to keep the same team throughout and have a winning record and everything like that. My team was the Kansas City Chiefs. They had Tony Gonzalez. This is back before.

This is back in, like, you know. This is before. They had, like, one bar on their helmet. Yeah. They had Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson and Trent Green were the quarterback. But I would run the shit out of the ball. Nice. And no one does that in Madden.

No one just runs the ball. Everyone was like, just throw the ball. Let's get. I like running the ball when I play by myself. Yeah. That's what we do with NCAA. Set up the play action. Yeah.

I would set up the play action and it would fool them every time. And it would also make the games go by so much quicker. We would get probably like four games in before a basketball game because I would just run the ball. And it was just like literally five minute quarters. Those games do go by fast. I was like, first I'm like, why is it so short?

Let's set it to 15 minutes and you realize how fucking long that actually is. Every year, no matter what, I get an itch to play Madden. Like, and it's obviously around football season. I'm like, I want to, because I don't have an outlet to go play it or anything like that. So I'm like, I want to just, you know, put it rookie mode, and I want to just launch streak routes. That's it. And the last two years, I pressured myself into buying the Madden and playing it. I think I went on a good 10-year, 15-year streak since the last time I bought one.

I think the last Madden I had was the one with Brett Favre on the cover. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was like 2010. My favorite thing is always when a team loses in a playoff game, you just end up seeing a bunch of people online be like, I got revenge on the team, and it's just like 120-0 in their Madden games. Yeah, I've seen that. I'm so excited because they're going to come out with NCAA football.

I did see that. I did like those. What was it? Road to Glory or whatever it's called. You'd play the first season in high school. Yeah, the high school one and you're like, I'm putting up numbers. It was insane. It was so much fun. 329 rushing yards and six touchdowns.

All of a sudden you got an offer to Texas. This is awesome. You play and then eventually you got an offer to Texas. Yeah, like, this is awesome. And then you play, and then eventually you could port that character into Madden. Yeah. Which is always cool. I never did that. I never did that. Never did that one either.

Do you guys play Grand Theft Auto? I mean, that just came out. That just came out. It did not just come out. No, the trailer for the brand new one came out today. It broke the internet. It broke the internet. It was the most streamed thing in a day.

I didn't watch it. It had 64 million views when I looked at it this morning, and it was out for 30 minutes. Yeah, it was up to past 70. It broke the Mr. Beast record or whatever it was. I just started replaying Red Dead Redemption 2. That made me excited. Red Dead Redemption is up there in top five video games for sure.

It's so much fun. Do you play enough video games to have a top five? I would say Grand Theft Auto would be. Okay, so I never got into Grand Theft Auto, but I like the idea. I like the open world stuff. Do you play enough where you could give me a top five? Probably, yeah. Yeah?

Okay. I'm going to go check first. In no particular order, The Witcher 3. Okay. GTA 6. Red Dead Redemption 2. Then GTA 6 is that what they did? Or GTA 5, excuse me.

GTA 5, yeah. Red Dead Redemption 2. God of War Ragnarok. Newer games for him. That's a fun one. Mine's all nostalgic for the most part. And then I'll throw a nostalgia one in there. Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. It's all nostalgic for the most part. And then I'll throw a nostalgia one in there.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. The original one. Yeah, the original one. That's in there. I go Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time. That's like the nerd in me. That's my all-time favorite video game. MW2 is a good one. Red Dead Redemption 1.

Need for Speed Most Wanted. And then what was the one I just said would be my top five that I'm blanking? I'm losing my mind. Madden? NCAA? Zelda? No, I just said Zelda. Modern Warfare 2.

Red Dead 1. Legend of Zelda, Need for Speed, Most Wanted. Oh, Assassin's Creed. Oh, actually, you know what? Brotherhood. Swap out Ragnarok for Assassin's Creed 2. Yeah. Ragnarok for Assassin's Creed 2. Brotherhood is when I started playing. I might have to ask you guys.

Was Black Ops the first one with the zombies? No, Modern Warfare was. Okay. Was it? The original Modern Warfare was. Okay. Was it? The original Modern Warfare was. I think Black Ops had the zombies where it was like a theater. Yes. That was when it got bigger.

That's when I stopped playing. I'm going to go with that one. Okay. That's my favorite Call of Duty one. There's a video game called NFL Blitz. It was just Blitz the League. Yes, I love that one. And you can give yourself steroids, your players steroids,

and how well you inject them is how many plays they're out. Love that. Which is very funny. That reminds me of NFL Street. You're like breaking a testicle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you can send prostitutes over to the gear to the other team to make them tired for the game it was the greatest

like it's so wild dude blitz the league and blitz the league too blitz the league is probably the most accurate version of madden there is it had uh lawrence taylor as one of the like the the actors and like it was it's so good and they couldn't like be one of the actors. It's so good. And they couldn't be part of the NFL, but they made other teams like the NFL. You get the James Harden perk and you just send over strippers and prostitutes. I still have it, and I would play that. It's on my PlayStation 3. Civil Blitz.

It's so good. Civil Blitz. No, it's just Blitz League. Blitz League, Black Ops 1. GTA? Grand Theft Auto V is amazing. Love that. Are you going to play 6 when it comes out?

Oh, yeah. But I also don't have a console that can play it, so I happen to need that. You're going to have to get one. Yeah. And then I would probably go with Goldeneye. Okay. Great. That was like how you got into it.

And then just the classic Mario Kart. Mario Kart's great. Mario Kart's great, yeah. You can't play Mario Kart. There's so many games I'm thinking about. Mario Kart Double Dash was my favorite. That's when I got the GameCube. That was amazing.

There was NFL Street. Oh, dude, that was such a good game. And so. So you have Game Breakers and you're running across the wall or NBA Street V3 and you're playing 3v3. You have Tracy McGrady, Allen Iverson, and Michael Jordan against whoever. All those games are amazing.

NFL Street. I was so good. There's also a game that I used to play back in the day. It was called Def Gen Vendetta Yep Where you were a rapper And like you won You won a little note card That could like

Then you could get a girlfriend It was so weird It was so funny Yeah Def Gen Vendetta You wrestled other rappers and stuff like Snoop Dogg and Ludacris and stuff

it was awesome WWE 2008 never played those games I was so good WWE 2008 was so much fun you'd like create your wrestler and then you'd like

make their entrance and then you'd choose like a finishing move for them but when you played like the career mode it was you're talking about

the girlfriend thing like reminded me it was like you'd be like setting up matches and then all of a sudden like you'd get a text from like Michelle McCool and she'd be like hey I matches and then all of a sudden like you'd get a text from like michelle mccool and she'd be like hey i think we

should hang out sometime and then you're like yeah and then so then and you're like wait wait could you go yes or no yes you can go yes or no you go yes or no and then like eventually like what you would do is like you try to get like the highest overall diva to be your girlfriend and so then you could like do couples matches with other couples in the game. It was so much fun. But then like a couple years later you could like create your own finishing move. And I remember that was super cool because I like made my guy just like spit poison in people's faces.

Now when you were making your purse and making your wrestler, would you mimic off of you? No, not as a wrestler. No, no, no. Not wrestling. Like if I'm playing like Madden, like I would be like. Madden, I try and mimic Let's make it a white redhead Yeah

But in In WWE I think my guy was Like Just gigantic Wore cut off jean shorts And a jean vest Green dreadlocks

A goatee And Colored contact lenses And he would just spit Like It was called green mist In people's faces So he'd spit this like Green mist in people's faces so he'd spit

this like green mist in people's faces and then like pick a guy like bounce him off his knee and he was called i think he was called um the the plague because he would spit green shit in i remember that it was fun making characters like that and like madden too like i'm gonna make this six foot nine fattest guy whatever like that fun, but if I made my own character, the only thing I ever lied about was my height. I can't make a 5'8 receiver. So, yeah, what I would do. Back in the day, Madden, like, probably.

I mean, I was playing Madden on the PC before I played on the console. Oh, shit. So I got a Madden, and it was and I created my entire high school football team. I remember that. It was before I was even in high school, but I made the high school that I was going to. And I remember my entire offensive line, I made them as short and fat as I could so I could overlook the line

so I could see what's going on. Making teams is fun. When I used to play hockey, I would make my line that I would go with in and I would just put them on my team. And so I'd be like, oh, I'm going to give it to Hunter. He's really fast. And he would just take it. Do you guys think this is, for me, this time of year is when I want to play video games the most?

I'm still- Because it's cold out. It's cold, but I'm still in the- We've all been out of school for a while now. Yeah. But I'm still in my head, this is, for most of my life, been conditioned, oh, this is when your big break is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is when it's cold, you're it's cold you're doing

nothing you're inside like when you're a kid it's sledding video games when you're like college it's like video games drinking um but like you're just inside doing whatever like in my head right now this is where i want to play the most where i'm like during the summer don't even think about it once like at all i'm like if i do it at all it it's like late, late at night, and I have nothing going on for 10 minutes. Yeah. Probably the last time, I mean, I have a PlayStation 3, so that will tell you how much gaming I do. But I did create Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down

to be my golfer in Tiger Woods. Dude, I love Tiger Woods. That's such a good game. And he is so good, and he wears all black, and just, like, gives people finger guns all the time. It's amazing. Yeah, but I haven't even hooked it up in the new place. I should.

Well, we should get you a console, and by we should get you one, you should buy one. We're not running that. Gift number three is going to be huge. Huge. What if I got him a PS5? That'd be wild. Wait, are they still very hard to get?

No, so they're no longer sold. I was in the last wave of... When I had my surgery, I was like, you know what, I kind of want to start playing games again. And I just flirted with the idea of it. And I have a mother who was like, if she hears an idea, she runs with it. So she put her name on the waiting list.

I never was going to. And she texted me one day. She goes, I'm in. Do you want to buy it? And I was like, yeah, fuck it. Why not? So I bought the PS5 then. And then I got mine at Costco.

Which is nice. Yeah, now the packages are nice. They're everywhere. And my mom was still on the waiting list. She texted me like a month. I'm in again. Do you want to buy another one? I think I'm running out of time where I could flip them again.

Because two years ago, if you had two, you could flip one for double the price. That's my buddy, Dad. He had a trunk full. I was flipping them. I was like, man, this is wild. That's insane. But yeah, you can get them anywhere now. And now they come with deals where it's like, I got two controllers and a game.

Oh, yeah. They're all deals now. There's no such thing as just buying the console now. They want you to have a game right away. I think when I got mine, it was the God of War Ragnarok one,

which I don't like that game. Oh, it's good. So I was like, this sucks. Now it's like Spider-Man and the new Call of Duty. It's a really good one. It's one of his top games.

Yeah, I don't care. It's not mine. You have to play God of War the first one. That's the other thing that bothers me is I can never watch movie two without seeing movie one. People are like, fuck it, I'll just watch movie two.

No, I need to know what happens in the beginning. Even with a video game, I've got to play all of them. I don't know if you guys are into this kind of game, but I played Arkham Asylum. The Batman ones. Dude, Batman fucks some people up. Yeah. Like, he messed, like, that was the first game that, like, when you, like, beat someone

up, they are pummeled in that game. Yeah. Like, breaking legs. Yeah. Like, beating them. Isn't it? It's Batman's thing where he doesn't kill people. Oh, no.

They're super dead. He'll let them look death in the eyes. He's just not going to kill them. Dude, he, him yeah those punches are murdering you and that was like a fun game it was the first game i also besides metal gear solid which you know was a real good game but also it was also the first game you have to like that i played you have to like hide you can't like just you ever do go in were you a gears of war guy no never played that but? My neighbor was.

Have you ever heard of the game Army? And we should get off video games. We really should. Have you ever heard of Army of Two? Yes. Love that game. That's the first time I ever could customize a gun. I'm like, I'm going to make this in gold.

Yeah. And you could change your helmets. Yeah. The helmets is cool. Because they were like hockey goalie masks, old school ones pretty much. I think an influence called duty. And then you would paint them and stuff. I think it was cool.

That's fun. Question. Answer. What's with the gorilla and the crown? Okay, so there's a fun story about myself here. Do you want to grab that so they can see it? No, it's hollow. My nickname in high school was Caesar from Planet of the Apes.

Because I used to make monkey noises in class. So we have Caesar, white chocolate, we're just waiting on my nickname now. And so when I was streaming video games, I was doing it off of a shitty desk and just doing

in an office that was empty. And one time I was gone for off of a shitty desk and just doing it in an office that was empty. And one time I was gone for a weekend and Jen decorated it and made it cool for me, like a cool gaming setup. And she bought that. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. It was like $20 at home. I thought you were going to say she decorated the Caesar and now it's white.

I'm like, did you just paint over it? No, she found it. She goes, I thought you'd like it. And I go, yeah. So that's going to go back upstairs with like all my like office stuff. When you finally make that into like a gaming office room? Yeah. I mean, I have my desk there and my office, like my work hookups and then my two monitors

and everything. And then I have my painting stuff up there that I got to set up. I've never seen Planet of the Apes, but does Caesar get stabbed? No. He does get. He gets shot. He does get turned on yeah but it's a good movie i liked it i think i re-watched it on the plane once it's a good very recently dawn is dawn is the best one there's rise which one's with mark walberg are anyone with mark walberg i know ones with's with a Franco brother. Yeah, James Franco.

I thought one's with Mark Wahlberg. I think you're thinking of Transformers. No, no. I think I'm thinking of Daddy's Home. Same thing. I'm going to look just in case. Do you think there's a possibility next week we could put a small speaker in the back room just having Christmas music playing?

Yeah. We wouldn't be able to pick it up. mark walberg planet of the apes yep really pop culture is your trivia category i think we could have a good trivia team i think we could if there was three of you yes agreed you guys do good christmas stuff it's not bad we guessed 87 times yeah we're gonna cut cut that. Cut it. Cut it. Oh, we can do the would you rathers if you want. Would you rather.

Would you rather. I got to comb through them a little bit, so I only looked at a few of them. Let's see here. Would you rather. Would you rather give a gift or receive a gift? That's one of them. I love giving gifts. Give.

Give? Give. I mean, I've already given you guys two. Yeah, I like giving gifts. They're fun. Because if you do a good job of it. BT Dubs, are we doing presents? I think the last one before Christmas we should bring the presents.

Is that next week or the week after? The one when we know it's going to two weeks from now. Okay. I believe. Two weeks from now. To make I believe. Two weeks from now. I'm going to make sure mine gets here in time. I'd be like, let's be safe and maybe have it by next week. Yeah, I already got them both.

I don't have round three for you guys yet. Round three is in the chamber for Kuski. Judd, you're a little tough because you have all the sweaters I was going to buy you. You are tough. i'm very tough and you're i don't we we've done this for 23 weeks now together plus outside stuff and i don't think we know that much about i think i think that i'm very next week we make a get to know judd game i'm very tough to get gifts for my parents. Like they would need a list and everything like they, and they've known me for 32 years,

you know? And then like, I'm also a tough person to roast. I've noticed like when we, when I go to, you're so cool. No, it's just like, it's just shitty rows.

It's just not like, like you can make good stuff out of it, but like it's the content isn't great. Like how many white person jokes can you make? Yeah. Or straight white male jokes. I've never... There's been a few that are like, oh, that's an okay joke, but the content isn't great.

So I get that. I get why it's tough for me. Would you rather? Would you rather? Am I going to start doing this now? I was trying to read which ones are actually decent right now. They're not great, but like, all right, we're going eggnog theme. Would you rather have a gallon of eggnog or eat an entire two-story gingerbread house?

Oh, I'd say eggnog. The gingerbread house just seems stale by the time you get it up. I don't know because I... Probably gingerbread house. I'm going to go gingerbread house. Eggnog, you're going to get sick. Yeah, you're going to get sick of a two-story. Two stories of gingerbread is a lot of gingerbread.

I added the two-story because one gingerbread house isn't a lot. One gingerbread house isn't a lot. One story down, another story. Is it like a full size of a two-story because like one gingerbread house isn't a lot. One gingerbread house isn't a lot. I have one story down, another story. Is it like a full size of a two-story house? I mean,

it's not like a full-on, I mean, it's one of your miniatures you probably paint. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let's just go a normal gingerbread.

Would you rather eat a gingerbread house or have a, it says a gallon of eggnog or like your normal tall thing. My mom makes these cookies called ginger snap cookies

that are freaking delicious. It's just little circles. Little circles. Like crispy. They have the cross in the middle. Those are nummy. So good. Those are nummy.

But yeah. Ginger cookies or whatever, they leave a little like almost burning flavor in your mouth. Yeah, they got a little like. They got a little spice. It's not like spicy, but there's something there you're like, hmm. I'll keep you around one more day. What would be worse, I guess, would you rather get cleaning supplies or a scale from your significant other for Christmas?

Would you rather your significant other says you are a lazy piece of shit or you're a lazy piece of shit and fat? I would take cleaning supplies, hands down. Yeah. Absolutely. There's also some cleaning supplies that I'd nerd out on. I'm like, oh, this works so good. I think it's a no-brainer, the cleaning supplies, because you don't need to buy them then for

probably another month or two. The first time I ever got, for the dishwasher, the dishwashing, it's like the handheld wand with the sponge at the bottom. Oh, I've never gone back since I've had the washed dishes. The first time I got this, I was like, what was I doing before? Right. I actually don't know. I don't think I'd washed the dishes before.

We don't have ours anymore because theirs was getting gross after the move. Yeah. Before the move, so now it's gone. Now I'm using washcloths. Like a scrub daddy or something? Scrub daddies, I like those. I've never used a scrub daddy. I just use, I mean, moving out of my apartment,

I used the magic eraser for the first time for the walls. Oh, my gosh. Is that the white sponge? It's a white sponge. Also, I don't think a sponge should ever be white. Oh, no, no, no. No, it cleans off. It deteriorates.

Really? Yes. That's how it cleans. We've gone from nerding out to video games to cleaning supplies. If this is a Venn diagram for somebody that also likes socks. Daryl. This is the pod for you. Okay.

So we're talking about cleaning, so we're talking about video games at the same time right now. I know your answer, but would you rather wear a Christmas tree skirt as an actual skirt to a Christmas party or have absolutely oversized antlers at the... I'm talking like giant antlers you're walking into the party or you're wearing a Christmas tree skirt as a skirt. Skirts. You'd be like, check out these. I mean, you'd hang mistletoe from your nuts. Dude, I could.

Dude. I could paint them red and put a little bit of holly underneath. Rudolph the Red. There was a guy in a kilt today. I was sitting in the coffee shop in Coctiva and Bayview, and there was a guy with a kilt riding one of those one-wheel skateboards. Just. Imagine if he were to slip.

I was like, did I see that right? It was like the electronic I see that right? Oh, like the electronic ones? And then he went back the other way. I was like, where is he? They always go back. They always do double passes. I was like, he's also in a kilt. Yeah.

He's making sure you saw him. Imagine if he slipped. Ty would have gotten right up in his kilt. So what's your answer? I'm going antlers just because it's a... I mean, both are talking pieces. I feel like we're all at the same party. I got to be in antlers.

It gives me height. It gives me height. I would do antlers just because I could probably get cold if I had a skirt on. Yeah, but there's something really freeing about legitimately only having something around the outside of you while you're completely naked. Yeah, but, like, I feel like you got the dick probably to show it. Mine would still be hidden underneath that Christmas tree skirt. I've got a little tiny bugger. Are you all balls?

I'm a lot of balls. But it's also about being warm in the winter. I hate being warm. Well, we're inside at a Christmas party. Having a lot of people there, you're drinking eggnog. Yeah, but how many people are wearing t-shirts to a Christmas party? Everyone's wearing a sweater. Yeah, but how many people are wearing T-shirts to a Christmas party?

Everyone's wearing still a sweater. Yeah, because that's just the theme. That's the theme. Correct. I'll probably wear knee-high socks. There you go. Okay. That'll do for somebody.

Okay. Here's a decent one. Would you rather have snow every day in December or not at all for Christmas? Not at all. Bye-bye, snow. Is that the homeowner in you? No, I just fucking hate snow. See, I like snow enough.

My theory on snow is it can start snowing Thanksgiving, and then it can stop snowing January 1st. Yes. Where I live. Now, if I want to go skiing and snowboarding, it should only snow on those hills slash mountains. That's it. That should be a rule. I don't know. I know we can control the weather. I know we have been controlling the weather. So let's make it just on the mountains and the hills. You've been living with your dad too but i love a snowy christmas like the christmas is where you wake up and you can see the grass and it looks almost kind of warm outside it's not christmassy that sucks let's be honest you know it you know it it's not ideal but to have 20 20 or is it the whole month of december or the whole month of December, it snows every day. 31 days of snow.

What if it's just an inch every day? That's fine. That's what your mother gets. Wait. Can I get another IPA? They're not bad. They're dull enough that I could do it. Also, I just would like another one.

Yeah, you can have them. Yeah, cool. I think I'm with you on the no snow. The older I get, the more snow is just in my way. Yeah. It's like a noose. I have to go. As a kid, you're like, oh, it snows.

It's great. But you don't. No, I'm good. You don't realize that your parents just do it. You know? Thank you. Your parents just get the snow. They take care of it for you.

Yeah. But then eventually it gets brown, too. It's not like cool white snow anymore. It's not cool white snow where it's like everything's so, like, clean and perfect as soon as it lands. It's, like, slushy and there's, like, car shit in it. That is the worst. February snow is the worst.

Like, February, March when it's just wet. February is one of the worst february snow is the worst like february march when it's it's just wet february is one of the worst months i mean my birthday's in that but it's still one of the fucking worst months i do like the good like a the first snowfall of the year the first good one that's nice it's like you know what it's time and then you're like all right february hits you're like oh we're expecting six inches of snow. March 15th, another four inches. I'm over this. I need to be in the X Games.

I live in Colorado for me to really like the snow. But even then, if you live in Colorado, it's already snowed plenty up there. They're controlling the weather over there. There's plenty of snow on the mountains. There's all that weed. They're skiing and snowboarding until June. Also, I was just at

Lambeau. It was like light snow. Not even enough to stick on the ground. That's a good experience. It was like you walk. It's just dope. It was so cool. I got another one. I think I know all our answers.

Would you rather never receive a gift again or give every single one of your family members a sex toy for Christmas this year? I'm going sex toy. I think it would be funny as fuck. I would never. I would definitely just go never receive a gift. I would never give a sex toy to my grandma. Oh, I would.

Okay, follow-up question. If you had to give sex toys to your family, what are you giving your mother? A ball. A ball gag. Shut the fuck up, Mom. That's a good one. Oh, God. I'll just give her a ball. I don't know. Ball gag, fine. I'll do that. That's a good one Oh god I'll just give her a ball

I don't know Ball gag fine I'll do that Otherwise I'd give her A good vibrator Because everyone deserves A good O Deserves a good what?

Good O Good O Even your mother I mean I just think it's very funny That What would, Custy, what would you give? To my mother? Your sweet, sweet mother. My sweet, sweet mother.

What would I give her? What you're thinking about. What you're going to give her. Think about what she's going to do with it. Yeah, I also. Picture it. Picture what your mom's going to do with the gift I give her. I've also met your mom.

She's very, very nice. She's so sweet. When did you meet my mom? Oh, yeah, the golf hunting. Yeah. She is a sweetheart. How sweet is she? Let's just say I got a hole in one.

Oh, my God. Well, someone got a hole in one. Guess who's off the podcast next week? I don't know. Does condoms count? No. I don't want any more baby brothers. It's not a toy.

It's a sex toy. I was thinking ball gag as well, but that would just be weird. Maybe like a sexy outfit. Wait. So she could role play. I got you a mechanics outfit. There's a mechanics, yeah. Why don't you just get her a cartoonishly big dildo, and she won't use it.

Now she just has a paperweight. But what is the off chance she does? Also, imagine if you just- Mom, turn this off. You know what's a problem? Put my fans on. I'm putting an end to this, because if my mom listens this far, she will go out and buy something. Do not buy his sex toys.

Do not. Because his mom. You remember the fruit snack incident? Imagine how far she could go with this. Gummy dildos everywhere. What are they called? Two snakes? We're going to get a lot of penis gummies.

First of all, they're called twin snakes? Twin snakes. Oh, yeah. Because his mom's going to get some twin snakes. Oh, she actually, she did buy you another package for Christmas. She said to give them to you. I don't know where they are. Actually, I do. They're in my room.

So, yeah. I'm going to get you those. That's your third present. I'm just kidding. I feel like it's got to get bigger and bigger. That's my problem with presents. I feel like the next thing you're going to buy us is pajamas. Yeah.

I think he's just... I'm just trying next thing you're going to buy is his pajamas. Yeah. I think he's just – or maybe – I'm just trying to outfit you guys here. No, I think the clothes are done. When he bought the boxers, do you think that he was like, oh, I hope they wear these? I think so. Do you think he was like a little part of them like, oh, Jack would look good in these? I can tell you my whole thought process with it.

I hope when he puts these on he thinks of me. That kind of thing. Oh, Jack would look good in these. Absolutely. Oh, yeah, his little utter – I want when he puts these on he thinks of me. That kind of thing. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah, his little utter... I want you to put them on and look in the mirror and be like... Dude, I just want one thing for you, Kuski. Would you say if you had to send us a picture? You think the tip of my penis doesn't look like this pink dot right here?

I'm just telling you that right now. It's going to blend right in. Wait, where is the pink dot on the underwear? It's probably hanging low, isn't it? Leans a little to the left sounds about right that's not how i thought they would look if i'm being honest with you you thought there'd be more dots on them yeah a lot more dots that looks like a jeff gordon race car yeah he kind of does it looks like a dot sponsorship when i put those on i get i get fast dude jeff gordon stuff, like the vintage racing stuff that you call it,

is so much money. And I had, back in the day, my church coat was a Jeff Gordon full-on coat. Your church coat was a church coat? Because this is going to blow everyone's mind. My middle name. Jebediah? Gordon. After Jeff Gordon?

No. Paul, is your whole family adopted? No. No? Just you? My older brother, me. My mom got told she wasn't, I say this on stage, my mom got told she wasn't fertile enough for kids. Yeah.

So she adopted my older brother, and then five years later after me, she got pregnant with my little sister. Wow. Who does- So your little sister's the only legitimate one. Yeah, yeah. and she also does mission work overseas so i guess you wish you could return you to done yeah she's definitely from your mom sweet sweet lady who's who yeah so like the the baby the the one that you the miracle child you know does mission work overseas the only girl in the family it's like this is

rem rem are you looking for your receipts right now for Christmas? We can forge some for you. We can turn them right back. This is very personal. You don't have to answer. Do you know originally where you're from? Do you know your birth parents? Yeah, I mean,

this could be a very long topic, but I accidentally met my birth mom when I was 10 years old. Accidentally? Accidentally. By accident, yeah. Ooh. Yeah, crazy story.

But, yeah, it's wild. I mean, the adoption happened, like, before. So my parents, like, put in. So it was a pre-adoption. So I wasn't in an orphanage for, like, a little bit just because you were in a, like, basically a place where you could be still taken back by the mom, but you already know where you're going. Were you a baby or a young child? Yeah, I didn't.

It wasn't like a friend situation where we're like, hey, you're going to take them right away. No, because lawyers are in it, and there's a lot of court documents. You have to sign stuff. So you would have been from Wisconsin either way. I was born in Wausau, Wisconsin. Okay. Yeah.

Pretty wild. My brother was born in Ocala Falls. No. Do you guys weirdly somehow look alike or no? No. None of you look alike? No. You want to see a picture of my brother? Yeah.

He's black. Were your parents racist when they adopted and just wanted all white babies? I mean, we're in northern Wisconsin. I don't think they had many to choose from. You're like, oh, we'll take the other white one. That's my older brother. Holy shit, you guys do not look anything alike. They didn't want to bring a state championship.

Wow, that's Duck Dynasty right there. He looks like if Jesus was in a metal band. That's what my brother looks like, which is very funny because I used to tell this joke, but no one really knows what my brother looks like, so it wasn't as funny. My parents are very religious, and I grew up in a very religious household, so they had pictures of Jesus all the time. Growing up a Catholic, there's pictures of Jesus, and my brother also has long hair and a beard so it just looked like he was the favorite because there was multiple pictures of him all over the place judd's brother looks like he turned

water into wap yeah you know like it's honestly like a young sigh from duck dynasty rides yeah he doesn't so he so that was an old that's when we i went to california he's not like a young Psy from Duck Dynasty rides a hog. So that's when I went to California. He's not like a, and I mean this plainly, he's not like a well-built. He's a skinnier guy. Yeah, he used to be jacked, but then he just doesn't do anything. He doesn't have the longest hair anymore. He kind of cut. He can still put in a ponytail.

How old is your brother? He is 35. Just turned 35 I believe in November. Your sister is 28? My sister is 20. Yeah, something like that. Right up your alley.

Leave my My alley upstairs. Upstairs. Just trying to stir it up a little bit you know if she ever like tunes in do you think how many episodes

how many minutes she's never watched one she watched a couple there was a couple like clips that she saw and she likes when I'm watching one yeah

and she's like this sucks no she liked it but she doesn't listen to podcasts I don't expect her to. It's one more view, though.

It'd be nice. It would be nice. It'd be nice. Should I start putting flyers up in my work? He's already practicing. I mean, it's just one more view. It's just one. It'd be nice.

I've gotten in the habit of my work computer just has our podcast playing on repeat. You need to have volume on. I need to have volume on? Otherwise it doesn't count? Mm-hmm. Really? Yeah.

You could have, yeah, I think so. What if the volume's on on the app, but my computer's turned off? I think you can do that, yeah. Okay, that's what I do. That's funny.

Yeah, I mean, I watch them, and- I don't. I watch them, and I'm like, because you edit edit them so like that's a little bit i want nothing to do with it when it goes like on sunday or monday night i

put it out and i'm like i don't want to touch this the amount of like times i watch it and i'm like oh i could have said something so fucking funny there yeah it always sucks pisses me off so much oh i hate just looking at me in the episodes. Absolutely hate it. What do you think we feel? You guys can leave. I'll do this by myself. You're going to need to let me in your house, but I'm just going to sit down here.

That's funny. Do you miss having the podcast with just one person? No, I don't. Which I think your first podcast you ever did was a fun idea. Trading up? Trading gas every time? Yeah. Well.

Who did you think it was? You're like, oh, I think I can get. Young Gravy. Young Gravy? That was who you were hoping? Yeah. So the first people I interviewed was actually kind of not full circle, but the guy named Lorenzo goes by Pokemon Master Zoe on TikTok.

Decently TikTok famous now. I went to college with him. I think Taylor Swift blew up his account, and he's doing very well right now with that stuff, but he's in medical school, so it doesn't bother him. He just does it for fun. Yeah. And then my buddy Charlie, who was in my fraternity,

did all the camera work, the original camera work for Young Gravy because he came out of Madison. And the goal for this wasn't like I want young gravy right away. I actually genuinely like the concept of, hey, I'm going to pick you two, and then kind of give in, at least the way I would function, like, oh, hey, now can you get me someone? Like who do you think you have your connection to? You flex a little bit and like, hey, I know this person.

And my head was like all right one route could be and i called him like bloodlines but i was like one route could be oh it's just like random people i'm talking to and then one could be like oh my god i started with charlie and now i'm a young gravy then i went to whoever whatever whatever so jack who could you who could you get on the podcast? Who's someone that... Who's your Kevin Bacon? Let's put it that way. Like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Who do you think you could get within six people? I could get you an Olympic gold medal winner. That's fine. I would take that in a heartbeat. Yeah. I could maybe get you the fullback for the Miami Dolphins, Alec Engold. Oh, that's super cool. I could get...

I don't know him very well, but my cousin used to date him. Ferguson for the Cowboys? I used to drink with him in Madison. I probably could. My dad, when we stormed the field. The Capitol? Real delay right there.

You can't say stormed and let us think about it. Canceled. Damn it. When we stormed the field after the- Stop pausing. After the Badgers won, my dad- We're cool.

We got these- My buddy Doug's tickets are- I probably shouldn't say that, but my buddy's tickets are very- Good. Very close to the field. Literally, it's two steps onto the field so we walked on the field like all the students were storming it my dad's like yeah let's go so we hung out and i'm like i kind of get lose my dad and i was like where's my dad he's in a camel coat and he's just chatting it up with jake ferguson and the safety number 19 uh heart nick whatever his name is they're just chatting it up with Jake Ferguson and the safety, number 19, Hart, Nick, whatever his name is.

They're just chatting it up, and they're like, I'm like, what is he doing? All of a sudden the camera pans on him, and they start playing, I think, Mo Bamba or something like that or whatever it was. I know the DJ for the Badgers, too. And everyone's going like this. Everyone's going like this.

And my dad has one hand in his pocket while he's talking to them. So then he sees everyone start doing that and he goes, so he, and then all of a sudden it hits him and he's on the jumbotron with Jake Ferguson, just doing an L giving everyone the W. It's so funny. I wish I had that film so much. Ferguson was nice. Him and his college friends or teammates would come to the bar. I worked there all the time. He's doing well. He used to be able to drink. He probably still can.

He's probably not drinking as much. I showed you the Frank Kaminsky picture, right? Yeah. Oh, no. I bartended for just about all of them. Some of the people that come in, they're like, yeah, we're going to show out or whatever. Like the – who was it?

Monty Ball. Do you remember him? Played for the Badgers. Big guy for the Badgers. Monty, I don't mean to, like, put you down here. No one's going to watch this besides the feet people. But he – there's this place next to the bar i worked at called uh at the time liquid um it's now called segredos or vice versa and

there's this little like back room that they would do like sorority and fraternity formals in and they'd have a dj there and my ra who's now the dj for all this and um for the badgers whatnot would perform there and so we go oh it was a cool room and then one of the girls who's in the sorority by us is like yeah monty ball was there boss all shots it was his thing to just show up to sorority functions put his card down and be like yeah i'll take like 60 fireball shots for all the girls and then just bounce or try and take one home. No one would ever go home. But he did it.

Every time he came back, he's just like, we know where he's going to be. He's going to this dingy little club. Also, if you're trying to impress a group of large women, fireball is not the answer. Not the way to do it. If you want to show you got money, it's not fireball. Don't buy all of them.

Yeah. You buy one of them. You get like four of them, get a bottle and a table, and you're good. It's like when you put too many fishing poles in the line. You know, you can't reel them all in at once. The fish is just looking at all the hooks like, which one do I need? And you just lose focus and the line breaks. You're like, oh, shit.

It's honestly like the videos where you're throwing dynamite into the water. I'm like, let's hope something comes up. Something comes up. Everyone is just dead. Can't eat it. Well, he also, there's a reason he's not in the NFL anymore. He sucked. Oh.

Oh. They're pretty good at reading. Hey, he beat his girlfriend. Wait, wait, wait. Not in the mic. Not in the microphone. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Don't do that. Allegedly, yeah. And that's the episode. Either one of you reached out to a Christmas bar? I have. I have the number one Christmas bar in the state, and it's in Appleton. Oh, Cleo. I'll make a drive up to Appleton.

Josh and... We need somewhere to stay. My mom. She's not in Arizona? She's still in Arizona, but I can go to her apartment. Oh, well, let's do that one of the weekends. Next weekend? What is our availability next?

Don't tell me you have some BS show with Mar-Vell to like nine people in a bar. No, I have a corporate party that I'm performing. Well, I'm pretty booked as well. What are you doing? I've got a theater show. Definitely a big theater.

Oh, actually I have a Friday show. Theater show? Yeah. That would be big theater. Big theater. Oh, actually, I have a Friday show. Yeah, I think it would be tough, especially because they're really late. I don't know if we'll be able to make it work. It would be really sweet, though. That's going to be a hard one. Well, let's try and find one. I reached out to the tinsel tap room. Let's just end this now.

We're done, and then we'll just talk business after this. Thank you. Bye-bye.