F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 145 - Surprised Butthole

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

Really?  You're actually going to make me giggle AT your butthole?  Topics include on-screen blowjob concerns, a troubling tattoo tribute, using your hobbies to your advantage, navigating kinks to avoid offense, catching your husband in a shitty act, autism and dating.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niles Fane. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky sexy situations and we turn them into sexy sticky situations.

Simply put, we answer questions on the topics of sex and dating that we either find online or are sent in by our lovely listeners, which sometimes includes you. Yeah, you. You know who I'm talking about. Yeah. You think that we're not talking about you, but we are specifically at this point in time talking about you yeah not you but you yeah i did you forget it get out of here we know what you did last summer welcome back how's your week been i don't really know i feel like all time has lost like we joked about it when we're in the pandemic the time didn't really have any meaning but now that that I have more of, like, a structured existence of, like, work and stuff, I feel like time means less. Yeah, I thought time had no meaning because I had too much of it. And now time has no meaning because I have too little of it.

Yeah. I just worked six days straight, and I'm just a corpse human. I'm just a tired man. It was a very busy week. On the plus side, I finally got new shoes. Can I just tell you how hard it was it was a very busy week on the plus side i finally got new shoes can i just tell you how hard it is to fucking find shoes right now because apparently you remember that silly old boat that decided to go sideways to the fucking canal no our canal bro yeah apparently that motherfucker screwed up like a bunch of shoe supply chain lines how specific right i like i think they

fucked up like a lot of supply chains but shoes are among among shoes are the only one that so far i've come across and like my feet are fucking weird uh so i have to try on shoes because i bought a pair of shoes that i tried on at another store but they were slightly too big so i had to order a smaller size online and then i got it and they were like way too small, but I finally found a pair of shoes. So I'm very excited to hopefully get home from work and not have throbbing feet. That's awesome. I got a new haircut. So now I don't have to halfway through my shift worried that I forgot to take my helmet off and realize that is in fact just my gigantic mop of hair. You're going to have to post a picture on our Instagram.

If you want to see Niall's new haircut, please hop over to our Instagram, fckbuddies. I'm not going to do it until someone asks me, so there you go. So ask me if you want. Yeah, ask him, damn it. I'm not going to do it for no reason. Do you have any sex news, or should we just get into this goddamn thing? Let's just fucking rip this podcast open and just pour all our goodies on the ground oh yeah like some sort of advice pinata that's exactly what i'm going for this is

by toxically lazy 42 my boyfriend 20 year old male wants me wants to film me while i 19 year old female go down on him he says it's only for him help this is my first serious relationship i had a boyfriend before but we were never physical. I started dating my current boyfriend four months ago, and it's gone pretty smooth. He's been sweet to me and hasn't shown any red flags yet. He was okay with taking things slowly and giving me time, as I haven't done anything serious before this. Last week, he told me he wants to take a video of me while I give him a BJ. I was taken aback by this and was reluctant.

He tried to convince me that it's normal for couples to do these kinds of things. He's dated multiple girls before and said all of them agreed to this and that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I told him I'm not comfortable being filmed, to which he came back with, it's only for me and you should be open to this. He kept assuring me it's only for him and no one else. He even said I can film him when he does stuff to me if I want. Is this normal in a relationship? I'm frankly not okay with doing this, but I also want to be good slash normal girlfriend to him.

What should I do? I don't want to force myself into doing anything anything but i also don't want this to cause issues in our relationship it's been really confusing and ever since the talk last week he's been fairly cold towards me so i'm worried thank you any help is appreciated i mean you do answer the question within the question but let's let's sort of pick it apart piece by piece uh I remember it. One, there's no such thing as a normal relationship in terms of expectations of what people are cool with. You know what I mean? Like 90% of people could be okay with having their partner film them

during sex or during sexual activity. And that doesn't really make it normal. That just means it's the majority of people who do it. So don't worry about what's normal because relationships change from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next. I know people who,

you know what I mean? Like the, the broad spectrum of what people do in their relationships is so wildly varied that what the couple next to you is doing has literally no bearing on what you should be doing as a partner or as a couple. I think that's great advice. There is literally no normal. So get that off the table. Now, next up, you don't feel comfortable doing it. That should be the end of the story. You can have a longer conversation with it, but I think that when a partner proposes something, whether it's a new kink or something they want to try,

or a direction they want to take the relationship, if the other person says, I'm not comfortable with that, by all means, continue to discuss it. Can you feel out why that might be? And maybe it's baggage from a past relationship, or maybe it is just something they don't want to do. If that's the case, that's the end of the conversation. If that's a deal breaker for you, then that's the end of the relationship. There's no reason why, and we've said it a thousand times, why if someone isn't willing to meet you halfway or with a request that you want, and that upsetsets you then maybe this isn't the partner for you and i mean that on both sides of the fence you know i mean if this guy keeps

pressing you then he's a bad partner and definitely not the one for you and if this guy is like if this is a big thing for him letting his partners or filming his partners that and she doesn't want to then sorry dude you gotta move on it's not your job to coerce them into fitting your mold yeah you you say uh he hasn't shown any red flags yet well guess what he just has a whole bunch of them telling you you shouldn't make a big deal out of it saying oh it's only for me you should be open to this and then also like bringing in his past relationships to like shame you uh that's fucked up saying oh it's normal for couples to do this stuff i've dated multiple girls they agree to do this like all of that is fucked up and the fact he's being cold to you that's fucked up none of these are healthy

things none of these are good things shaming someone with your from with your past experiences or partners is messed up ignoring what they're comfortable with pressuring them guilting them all these things are super big red flags. Take that to heart. Realize that maybe he hasn't shown them before, but he's kind of like pelting you with them right now. There's also like other things that make you worry about someone who's like, oh, these are only for me. Then it's like, well, and they say no. And then you get real weird about it makes you think that like, maybe these aren't just for you. It seems, and I'm not saying that like, you know, every boyfriend has a secret porn account that they're, but like to go from like, oh, like, don't worry, they're just for me.

And I was like, ah, sorry, I'm still not comfortable with it. And then being like, well, fine then. And pouting about it seems suspicious. Yeah. Like either way, he's taking a far too far. And it's like, you should never do anything. You're uncomfortable in a relationship, even if it's like as simple as kissing, you know what I mean? Or, you know, it could be anything. There's no normal, there's no rules you have to follow, right? It's not like,

oh, you can, you have the option for anal, but you have to be videoed sucking someone off. You know, that's, that's like just part of the contract. The other one, sure. I guess you could decide not to do anal. It's like, no, it's everything is optional. Yeah. I mean, like if you turn around and be like, well, uh, I would like to peg you. I would like to film myself pegging you. And if he's like, oh no, I'm not into that around and be like, well, I would like to peg you. I would like to film myself pegging you. And if he's like, oh, no, I'm not into that. It's like, well, literally all my other boyfriends have done it. So I don't.

You shouldn't make a big deal out of this. You should be okay with this. Like, that's fucked up. I think this person, you need to have a very serious conversation with him where, because, hey, maybe he's just a big baby. You guys are young enough. Maybe it's not as sinister as it might appear, but either way, he needs to learn that no matter what the issue is, your boundaries need

to be respected, and that you're allowed to stand up for your position and what you do or do not want to do. And that's not optional. He needs to be okay with that, right? Like that's the fucking bare minimum in a relationship. And if he's being shitty about this, 100% dump him. You

don't want to be with a person like this, especially if he has this weird recording fixation and doesn't like to take no for an answer. I don't want to get alarmist, but there are other things of a more sinister nature he could do, like have a hidden camera or just pull his phone out or anything like that. Obviously, it's an extreme, but if someone isn't respecting you, you never really know where that's going to end. So fuck if he if he can't realize what he's done wrong and you know respect what you want but 100% what Dane said there is no normal so if anyone is ever coming at you like oh this is normal oh you should be this you should be that red flag time also I do want to add we live in a digital age where literally like unless this guy's busting

out like a vhs camcorder and or like a super 8 camcorder in which he's recording on physical media this isn't just for him it's very very easy for data to get leaked i mean look what happened at like when snapchat and everything got hacked hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people's nudes got leaked online yeah and we've we've seen so many fucking questions where it's like, oh, my boyfriend has my nudes or my girlfriend has my nudes and they're like threatening, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, it's not an unreal, like, it's not you being over the top to be uncomfortable about this. You know what I mean?

There are a lot of reasons for you to be uncomfortable with it if you want to be. Again, if you're not uncomfortable with fine, by all means, you know, keep in mind the risks, but you know, it's not like you're out of nowhere, that that just makes it worse. It's like you do have legitimate reasons to be concerned. And the fact that he is so blase about the whole thing probably means you have more reasons to be concerned. them i don't think i would ever suggest it at this point in time in my life and in this point in time in society where like i don't know how easy it is to access shit on my phone or you know how things are backed up or any of that kind of stuff that like i if it's not something i want out in the world i wouldn't you know i mean like it just makes no sense for me at this point in time with the way technology is i think like if you're going to be recording yourself on your phones you should at least be okay with the idea that this could get leaked at some point because it is you know i mean losing your phone having it stolen having like any number of things can happen here all it takes is facebook

messenger to get hacked and you know who knows that's that's something to be concerned about regardless of how much you trust your partner or what they say. Because even the most well-meaning person who, again, would delete this as soon as we recorded it, who knows what could happen. Also, it's never as fun as it sounds. Well, I don't know. I feel like people always get really insecure after because it's like you're used to porn and good lighting and professionalism and angles and etc. You're correct i was saying well but every time i had done it it had been with someone who was very eager to be on camera yeah like so there yes there is a very a big difference between you know begging your girlfriend to do it because like chances are it's just gonna be the top of her

head and her hair covering everything you know what i mean it's like gonna be the top of her head and her hair covering everything very true the cinematography the mise en scene is gonna suck yeah all right hit me this comes from reddit user casual orgasms is it possible to instantly lose all sexual attraction towards your partner last month my girlfriend got a big ass dog paw tattoo on her neck the paw represented her dog that recently passed away a dog we both loved till the bitter end whenever i look at it on her neck my dick wants to crawl up in my asshole i fucking hate that tattoo and i hate that i'm allowing it to become a big deal i know it's superficial as fuck but i just can't help how i feel can anyone relate i've definitely lost sexual attraction for someone when i've like found out more about them and realized that they're a fucking asshole or you know they've

said or done something just so shitty that i'm like oh this person sucks i've never had a tattoo do it for me oddly enough i have had a tattoo do it for me oh what's the tattoo dish it's funny because i had previously slept with someone who had eyes on like tattooed on their back and and it was done realistic eyes no they were like stylized and kind of like sexy like anime eyes no like cleopatra style like it was like an emoji no it was like they were like almost like hieroglyphic eyes so like googly eyes yes they just had googly eyes on their back but i had previously been with someone who had an eye tattoo and it was i had no problem with it didn't bother me then i also hooked up with someone who i had eye tattoos but they were like disney style eyes so like very cartoony and i fucking hated it and it wasn't it was something that i hadn't seen because like the first time

we hooked up she was wearing a dress and it was like we never we didn't take it off so like i had never seen her naked the second time also on her back yes they were like people getting eyes tattooed on their back is this like a cult of people that sleep with dane maybe because like i don't think i've ever slept with someone who has eye tattoos in fact i don't think i know anyone who has eye tattoos yeah well it was it was one of those things where i just like i couldn't get over it because it like i just felt like i i have a, like, I try to find faces and stuff. Like, I saw, or like, not I saw, like, electrical sockets and stuff. Like, look like faces. And I see faces and stuff in the mundane world.

And it really, like, I don't want to get too blue here. But from Doggy Style, it looked like the eyes were there. The eyes of the butthole mouth? The butthole. She looked like her butt just constantly looked surprised to be fair all butts do yeah but when you add the illusion of eyes to the mix all you can see is just a butthole going like i gotta tell you man it's kind of a deal breaker for me so i get where this guy's coming

from were they just randomized by themselves with nothing around them i mean there was more tattoos in the in the situation but the eyes were like a standalone sort of situation and they were just there that's hey that's just weird it's weird just making that butthole uh yeah no i i so i get it i think it also sucks i think it sucks even more because it's like it's not just a random tattoo it's like hey i'm gonna break up with you because your dog died and you honored him yeah i mean like but i also get that like if if i had a beloved pet and someone got uh like a memorial tattoo that is pretty much only visible during sex it would be a bit of a bummer i think it was her dog though right yes but he said you know yeah you could still be very very close yeah but it would be like wild if it was the other way around as well yeah i got this tattoo

to commemorate your dog look at it while we fuck but like hey fuck it okay so maybe it's a a thing that will pass that's what i think maybe that's bad advice but like you could just be like hey this makes me very sad obviously because it's fresh and like maybe we either cover it up or abstain for like a little bit and maybe you'll get used to it and if not i don't know i don't know how a conversation goes where you tell them you're breaking up with them because of their dead dog honorific. Yeah, it's a tough one. But I agree with you.

I think this is something I think what's happening here is you haven't really processed the loss of the dog. And that grief and that mourning process has been projected onto this tattoo. Yeah. So I think you need to take some time time whether it is just taking a break from sex for a while or just talking to your partner about it and being like hey i really miss that dog and you know you're the tattoo sometimes when i look at it like it makes me really sad and i don't think that necessarily like you have to find a way to do it where you don't seem to be blaming her tattoo yeah or chastising or forgetting the tattoo but i think you i don't think there's any

harm in actually like talking about your feelings and what it makes you feel and because i think just getting that out might help you process it and help might help you move past it yeah 100% and like it also could be like maybe if it's new if it's like red or inflamed or sore even just the fact that in its newness you're not used to to it. All those might also contribute to it. So I don't know. I feel like it's, if it's a good relationship and you guys have been together for a long time. And also if this person is suffering from the loss of our dog,

is it, is it going to end your world to give it a week or two? Probably not. You know? And I think that's a decent thing to do. Yeah. And then fuck it. If you have to break up,

you have to break up. Maybe don't even mention the tattoo. I think if you try to process your grief, I think you will be able to get over this hump. I really hope you don't have to end a relationship over this because that is a real kick in the teeth. This one's a little different. This is by Vardarak. Successful guys, what hobbies or interests do you have? This thread is much more about you than me.

But I want to learn what makes you more interesting and well-rounded. Generally, these are qualities I feel I lack. So go so go on dan tell us about your hobbies or interests okay sure i'm a big fan of science fiction i like playing dnd with the boys with the homies i like sour beers i'm a big fan of boxing i like video games i like co-op video games. And that's, I'm really into weird-ass music, a wide variety of music, and that's it. That's it. That's all. The only things Dan likes.

Cats. Big swath. I guess I'm a big cat. I'm a big animal person. Big flower shirt boy. Can't give people shit for liking socks and bringing up floral shirts. No, see, the thing thing is i'm proffering it to you not you saying you know and even that okay you're right i guess well if it was a bird shirt thing i love bird shirts and yeah similarly i super like fantasy i write i love reading i love

cooking i love playing dnd with the boys i like TV and movies. I play guitar. I cycle and swim and skateboard, I guess. Climbing? Did you say climbing? I didn't say climbing. I like metal music. And I think what I was trying to get at is that I feel like there's this image of what are the cool hobbies and what are the cool interests and what are the things that you're using so I can do them. I would say that most of the things we have mentioned are not typically cool. I don't think it's the hobbies.

It's your passion for those things. Oh, 100%. That's the point I'm here to make. I would imagine nine times out of 10 on a date, although it's becoming far more popular. If I mentioned that I was into D&D or tabletop RPGs, nine times out of 10, I would imagine people would be like, the fuck are you talking about?

But if I then went on to be like, Hey, I'm in my thirties and I get to spend time with my best friends every week. When's the last time you could say that, that you regularly on a schedule get to have dinner and spend, you know, six, seven hours with your best friends every week in your thirties.

It's lacking your head off all thes. It's unheard of. All the time. It's unheard of. And I was and like, that's the reason why we started playing was because we wanted something to do to like, you know, make sure that we would always find time to hang out. And it just ended up becoming a huge part of our lives. And it's like, I think that is what sells the hobby and not the hobby. Well, even then, it's like if you're into the hobby and your partner isn't a jerk, it's like i think that is what sells the hobby and not the hobby well even then it's

like if you're into the hobby and your partner isn't a jerk it's like you getting to explain what it is you like about it and why is cool or should be cool right you know what i mean like no matter what it is um and it's funny because literally like two comments down someone's like hobbies that don't get me any playing video games and dnd it's like one hobbies don't get you any, you know what I mean? Necessarily, unless maybe you meet them through the hobby, which I think is still a different question, but it's like, that's kind of not how you should go about doing this because it's not like, damn, you, you do the sexy hobby. Well, we should, we should do the sex. It's more that like, Oh, you're a real person cool i like and that comes

about from any like i really don't know of any normal person that's like oh that's your hobby fuck you because unless you're weird about it if i ask someone that question and i don't think there's an answer unless it was like you know killing small puppies yeah or you know i mean but like if someone's like oh i'm really into you know restringing guitars i would want to know more about that and if they had if they're just like oh i like sometimes when it snaps and it hurts me like okay bad answer the other answer is like oh it's something i used to do with my dad and i find it really like meditative and zen and it really helps me focus and it like you know i'm a big fan of guitars and changing the the strings on my guitar give me a new sound and blah blah it's like okay great like if you have a reason for it and you have the passion for what you do i don't give a shit what you're doing yeah

i'm just eager to learn about you i love it more if it's fucking weird you know because i would much rather learn what you're doing and why and learn about a new thing than be like oh you like netflix you like you like hanging with friends yeah i recently met someone while we were talking i kind of like you know we were just talking about random shit and i was like oh you know like i i feel like hobbies and what you've done over the pandemic or what you're now doing now that it's kind of started to fuck off etc like come up and like we're just talking about various hobbies or something and like i have way too many and they were like uh netflix and hanging out with friends and going to the gym i was like that can't be it that cannot be the be all and end all of your passions that's a

answer where you're too scared to actually exactly let people in that's what i was going to say i i think a lot of people have you know maybe they're big into pokemon go a lot of people have, you know, maybe they're big into Pokemon Go. A lot of people don't want to say that for fear of being uncool. And I think the only time you're uncool with a hobby is if you're ashamed of it. That's again, like I've literally told girls, like I write fantasy novels, you know what I mean? Like I fucking, I definitely played Pokemon Go for a long time. Like all these things, I've never had anyone be upset about it i know i'm like look there are going to be people who won't jive with your hobbies that's a fact you know what i mean like there are still people to this day if i mentioned like oh yeah i play dnd or like you know tabletop rpgs and they're and they like treat me like i'm a fucking leper and it's like okay

cool i have nothing to do with like you're not going to get along with everyone. That's just the reality. In this situation, either one, not doing the thing you love, or two, lying about doing the thing you love, they both are shit options. Because one way, you're miserable. And the other way, you're just kind of delaying the point at which they turn around and treat you like a leper. So it's like, there's absolutely no downside to just being like,

oh, this is what I do. And this is why I do it. And it's great. And it's like,'s absolutely no downside to just being like oh this is why i do and this is why i do it and it's great that's like if they if they're shit about it cool go fuck yourself giving up a big part of something that you love and a big part of who you are for the possibility that someone might be interested in you is the dumbest fucking thing to do so be proud of what you like and what you do. Again, unless it's killing puppies or something horrible, in which case stop. Stop doing that and start doing something like D&D or, you know, crocheting. Or killing evil puppies.

Like a Dexter situation. This comes from Keymaker Throwaway. Asking a girl to leave their bra on during sex. I'm wondering how offended or upset a girl might be if I specifically ask them to leave their bra on during sex. I'm wondering how offended or upset a girl might be if I specifically asked them to leave their bra on during the act. I've noticed for whatever reason, it's a huge turn on for me whenever I see it while watching porn. I guess it makes me think of how rushing straight to the penetration makes things seem more in the moment. Like if the girl was too rushed and couldn't be bothered to take everything off. For my personal sex relationships,

I've only been with girls with smaller sized boobs. I know it's something that can make them feel very self-conscious, but luckily, I actually prefer smaller sizes. But I feel like this would definitely make them misunderstand why I would ask them not to take their tops off, like seeing their chest would be a turn off instead of a turn on. Okay, so I feel like, I get it. Sometimes you want to leave the lingerie on. Sometimes you want to leave the clothes on a little bit. I think that very specifically asking about just the bra draws too much attention to just the boobs. Yes. you know you can definitely play with this but like the more kind of clothing is involved the less the focus is on just one area of the body at which point the less likelihood there is that somebody gets the wrong idea now if any other clothes being involved rooms are for you then

maybe you're lying to yourself and it is about the boobs somewhere yeah i mean like there are other ways like like you said yes just tell them you have a clothes on fetish you know what i mean like there's no harm in that and it's actually like a fairly yeah it's super common it's it's pretty easy to it really doesn't require anything on their half to accommodate this fetish you know what i mean like unless they get very very hot during sex which is a possibility but like in there even if you just suggest things like oh i'm really into like having sex with a little bit of clothes on like you know lifting a skirt or a dress up or you know taking your shirt off but leaving a bra on and like throwing out multiple options while also putting the one you know what i mean like hiding the one that you're really interested in

will will make it sound like you're not just like i only want to have sex with you with your bra on yeah because being that specific is gonna sound hurtful i think no matter what and again you might find someone who's actually really cool and very confident and comfortable in their body and won't take it we'll take it exactly on service level of like that's just something you're into but as always, there runs the risk of triggering someone's insecurities. And it's awesome that you're aware of that. And it's awesome that you're trying to find a way to make sure your partner is comfortable and feels respected while also trying to approach your kink. I think that's a great mindset to have in any sexual relationship. Yeah, 100%. So like, yeah, be clear about what you find hot and like, be a little bit more general and like, try to be like, look, can we keep all your underwear on and I'll just like pull them to the side. Because I'm sure that won't ruin it for you. I'm sure it won't be too much of an inconvenience to her. And again, it's like, you're looking at underwear as a set. You're not just singling out theie and be like, these are really hot. I want you to keep them on during.

And that's like a nice gift for them, a nice gift for you. And it kind of makes a little bit more sense why you would just have them on in that situation. But again, that almost sounds subterfuge when like what Dane said, a hundred percent, I think answers this question.

It's like, just explain to them that you find it hot and try to not just make it all about one thing, which will turn it from your kink to their problem yeah i like especially if you start with something as simple as just being like i want to keep like all your top clothes on you know what i mean and and just explain it be like because it seems rushed and that like that really does it for me even if it is like even if there is some planning involved like the idea of like not fully undressing you is so fucking hot and then you can work like maybe take her shirt off and leave the bra on and i think like i think what like if there is a the instinct

of her just wanting to get naked at that point i think that's also really hot and might still satisfy the same kink you know what i mean? Yeah, frantically tearing it off midway through. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, I totally agree. And like, you know, it's actually the first step is so easy because you could be just like, wear a dress and don't wear any underwear. And then you lift that dress off or up, and like all of a sudden she's only wearing the top stuff.

And also that's super fun and hot. So I think we solved this one. Like I said, it's such an easy kink to accommodate on their end that they really don't have to do anything to check a bunch of boxes for you. If it was something as simple as that, it was like, hey, can you just like... I used to sleep with someone who loved having an unbuttoned... If I was still wearing an unbuttoned shirt, didn't matter what kind of shirt, as long as it was unbuttoned and I left it on,

they fucking loved it. And it was, I was like, yeah, literally no problem. Now, none of that is to say, as per the first question, that because it's easy for them and because it's whatever, that they should feel obliged to do it. Of course. We're not contradicting

ourselves here. But I think we've done it. How dirty do you want to get on this one? Let's get fucking filthy. This is by ThrawrayPenguins90. My 30-year-old female husband, 43-year-old male, has been pooping in the tub. Can't believe I'm writing this. For a while, there's been a faint smell of poop sometimes in the bathroom when I shower, yet no poop in the toilet. I always figured it must be someone pooped earlier that day. It's us and two kids in the house. While yesterday rushing to get ready for work, I opened the bathroom to see an actual turd sitting on the edge of the tub

and him with his phone taking pictures. He exploded at me, told me to get the fuck out, ignored me the rest of the day, and at night when we finally talked, he explained he just likes to look at them and he will poop sometimes outside the toilet to see them better. That's not all. He posts the pictures he took on Reddit for people to rate.

I looked at his account and was horrified. Not only does he do it here, he's done it at his sister's house, at work, and in public bathrooms. He will post these locations like he's proud of it. I'm horrified and disgusted. He's been doing this for over a year, probably longer. We have two kids. How can he knowingly take a shit on a place they touch? He keeps saying he cleans it up, but obviously not if I can smell it this whole time.

Does he just not care? He told me he will do whatever the fuck he wants with his body in his own private time, which I cannot accept. If he was only doing this in the toilet, weird, but whatever. The tub? Public bathrooms? Absolutely fucking not. Now I'm being accused of being controlling and a bitch. He's still giving me the silent

treatment except to criticize me. He left to sleep at a motel last night. Checked his account with a bad feeling. Guess what he posted this morning from the motel. He says this is normal. That's just a guy thing. Lots of guys have a dumb appreciation of their poops. Okay.

Do they also extensively document it on the internet? Detailing when and where they took a shit? What his BM felt like? Going into really gross detail describing the poop? I've never heard of that, so I don't buy it. I just had a loss of how to get through to him how incredibly disgusting this is. I don't even want to touch him. How can we have sex when he was basically playing with his own shit earlier the same day?

I can't deal with it. It's too weird and gross. Please don't just tell me to divorce him over one thing, because our relationship is usually really good. He's a great father, and I know he loves our family. He's a hard worker. I wasn't ever supposed to know about this. Now I can't unsee it, so is it just my problem to get over somehow see things like this are tough for me because really is a victimless crime because like i the the fact that she could still

smell it maybe that's just like is she coming in right after he has a shower or because like i guess you know what like the poop is gonna smell no matter what right and like at least it's somewhat contained in a toilet bowl so maybe it is just permeating the air more even if you are like i don't know like poop smell goes it doesn't last forever so i don't know if he's then like waffle stomping these boys it lasts forever if he didn't clean it properly and there's still poop on the fucking edge of the bath. Sure, but that's something, like, most people don't have brown bathtubs. Mm-hmm. Right?

Like, I feel like if there was still poop debris, it would be very obvious that there was just, you know, a perfect turd-sized sponge-stained... Well, if he just wipes it off and doesn't clean it, like, maybe it'll still smell like shit. I don't know. I'm worried. I'm worried he's not disposing of it properly i think like if he's just cramming it down the drain then yes the poop smell is going to stain he's doing the old toe poke but if he's like then dunking it into the toilet flushing it down so i think you might just have to to rule like lay down some some poop etiquette of being like how are you

disposing of these boys because it does still smell in here. If you're going to keep playing poop, documenter, I need to know that it's going in the toilet and you're flushing it like a dead goldfish. You know what? I kind of like this positive way you're going because in a sense, yeah, sure. You know what I mean? It's weird.

Also, her saying, oh, it's not common. There's a whole subreddit for it. Clearly, there's enough people who are, unless it is literally just him and a subreddit that he made by himself. It's just Dave's not common. There's a whole subreddit for it. Clearly there's enough people who are, unless it is literally just him and a subreddit that he made by himself. It's just Dave's shits. Yeah. I'm like, unless that's the situation,

but I'm, I can almost guarantee you there's a huge community for this. Oh yeah. I'm sure there is a hundred percent. Now let's, let's answer some mini questions. Is it a guy thing? I mean, I don't do it and i don't know

how many guys actually are doing this and we just don't know she her husband was doing she had no idea yeah i don't know but how many women are doing it we're not knowing about it how many real questions in general i i'm doing i'm so upset that she hasn't posted the subreddit or his account, which I guess is probably to be safe just so he isn't doxxed and fired and whatnot. I like your positivity. Maybe if we're going to go Dane's way,

we get him a pair of rubber gloves, we get him some high-grade cleaner, and we just make sure he cleans it. Right. So there is a subreddit called Rate My Poo. There is 3,334 members. Is there a sad poop from a motel? I mean, these all seem to be...

Roughly sad. Oh, Christ. Oh, I hate... Why did I look at this? I hear you furiously searching for it. Oh, man. There's one particular one of just color and consistency that really, really

upset me. Oh, my God. There's so many. Is it all the same person? I don't know. So there is another one called Our Poop, which has 8,000. These are all terrible poops. I know. it's upsetting and i i wish i had my year right this oh this last one i saw was called slop is fun

um so my advice for everyone listening right now is don't search rape my poo no don't do this at all and also, why can't I get off it? Why is this one with a fork in it? No! This one also has a fork in it. Why? Why is this a thing? Oh my god. Oh, it's the same person. That's his thing. Oh, so when she ate in a plastic lunch, why are they doing this? So, see, why is this a thing oh my god oh it's the same person that's his thing oh it's one shit in the

plastic lunch why are they doing this so see i gotta stop i gotta stop i can't tell you right now there are worst case scenarios this man is just taking a little poop i and like i just on the side of the fucking thing it's a bucket poo he pooped in a bucket okay get off it right now young man it's like lasagna young man get stop stop it we're done i can't i get off get off it it's uh sorry you talk i need a minute i have so many thoughts and i really am torn because yes is it disgusting yeah it's pretty gross is it my place to judge how disgusting it is not really i think the the big problem is the fact that it it's obviously not being disposed of or cleaned up properly if it is still if it just like a 24 7 poop smell in your bathroom something is incorrect and something tells me he's probably just cramming

it down the fucking drain and that this has got to stop because it you can't clean under the drain and it might be getting all stuck in your pipes and shit literally yeah but or or he's like when he's pooping he doesn't have the accuracy he thinks he has and there are little poop specks elsewhere that has not have not been dealt with either way i think the issues are the smell the cleanliness or lack thereof and also the reaction when you guys talked about this i'm assuming he blew up because he's embarrassed. 100%. You know, he got caught out doing, like, what I'm pretty sure most people consider a fucking weird thing. And I get where he's coming from. I get where you're coming from.

I'm going to take the Dane route and, like, not be negative to this man. He has a, what looks like very supportive community out there. Maybe don't ever use your forks again, just in case, or your bucket or your plastic lunchbox. Is he hurting anybody? No. Now, okay. Now we get to the interesting thing. You ever heard of coprophagy? No. It is the ingestion of feces or obsession of feces that has been associated with various medical disorders, including a brain tumor.

So someone in the comments, which I found very interesting, was saying that her brother went through something similar where he became almost obsessed with his poop and was documenting documenting it and like playing with it and like you know taking it out of the toilet and like posing it and shit and they kind of like brought him to a doctor and it turns out he had a tumor and was causing this thing and he got it taken out and now he's fine so just to take him to the pot maybe go to the doctor

so there's a there's a like middle ground that I think you can find I think you can be like hey I'll let you keep playing with your poop, but we're going, we're going to the doctor to get your head scanned for tumors. You know what I mean? And then it's like, if there's a tumor, we remove it, solve the poop problem. Or you keep playing with poop if you're that way inclined, I guess. Yeah.

Or, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm just happy that you're not going to die of a brain tumor. Or a brain poomer. But like, maybe, maybe show him that and just, you know, you can say you're worried and then you can go see a doctor and, you know, clear that avenue at the very least. Yeah. And like, look, if it's a deal breaker, it's a deal breaker. If he is unwilling to stop and you're unwilling to let it go. Sure. That's

fine. That, that happens sometimes. If however, he's willing to meet you in the middle and be clean and you're able to get over it, then, you know, at least the poop secrets have been revealed and hopefully you guys can have more healthy discussions about unhealthy things like smearing poop everywhere. Yeah. can you imagine he did okay do you remember when we used to work at a bar and someone used to always poop on the back of the toilet yes i wonder if that was what they were doing because this guy does it at work too yeah what if it's someone we used to work with it could be i i would have loved to have been a fly on the wall of the conversation when our very angry head chef finally had to

corner the person who'd done it and i guess ask them why and to stop because i bet that was top 10 most awkward conversations at this point in time you just have to think like everyone you swipe on tinder or online dating or meet in the world you have to stop and be like, are you one of the 3,334 members of RateMyPoo? That's a lot of people. And the poop subreddit is even larger. It's like 8,000 or something. And they're only the people that are active members.

There could still be creepers who aren't willing to commit their account. Those are people who have decidedly clicked on subscribe to RateMyPoo. I promise you there are probably triple, quadruple the amount of people who go on there just to be like, let me see these big old turds.

And you know what? I'm very sad that I didn't click in and look at the comments. Because I didn't see how do they rate them. I don't want to know. Are there criteria? Is it just like a flat number? I'm talking about this stop get i can hear you typing stop it i'm going back in no don't i'm i'm gonna read the next question

okay i'm just gonna click into one i'm gonna see what they say i am thrilled beautiful a single piece so envious are you human i'd love you to sit over me and slide that into my tunnel plug well i'm done and i hope you're proud of yourself there i had to do it i'm this comes from reddit are you human? I'd love you to sit over me and slide that into my tunnel plug. Well, I'm done. And I hope you're proud of yourself there. I had to do it. Um, this comes from Reddit user Milky,

Mr. Milky. Uh, um, cute girl at work, probably 19 with autism said she doesn't like to be touched, but plays with me whenever I see her 25. So this is cute girl at my work that I've known for probably a year now.

And she's generally been a shy person, but since the day one, she's been pretty open and straight with me. More than once, she had said stuff towards me that makes me think that she's into me. But after a while, my role changed, and I knew I wouldn't see her for a good long while, so I gave her a hug and said something along the lines of, I won't see you for probably a year, it's been nice getting to know you, blah blah blah, and gave her a hug. But here's the thing, she has autism, and she's told me a few times prior to this, that she hates being touched by people. So at the time it was light and kind of awkward. Anyway, fast forward a few months, her shifts changed to the point where I see her a few times

a week. And as recent, as of recent, we generally have lunch together and she playfully kicks and grabs my hands on occasion. My question is what do I I do? And in brackets it says, I'm definitely into her, even though she's probably not a great fit for me. What even is autism? Like, I get what it is, but how could it affect a potential relationship? Or how do I tell what part of the spectrum she falls under? She seems fairly normal, definitely

has some underlying issues, but hey, who doesn't? That's a weird ending. Yeah. What even is autism? Maybe do a fucking google search dude firstly um that's that's a question you could very easily maybe not solve but you know start to educate yourself somewhat um secondly the fact that you're saying she's not a good fit for you is a red flag to me because it's like you know are you just in this because someone's maybe attracted to you because it's a really shitty thing you just in this because someone's maybe attracted to you

because it's a really shitty thing to do when you're her senior both in age and work to just be like i think i can get sex out of this you know like i would love to know why you said that and is it just because she's autistic in which case that kind of sucks that's the vibe i get yeah that's kind of what i get but it could be also she's autistic i don't know um but either way i don't think it's good because if you're like already discounting her for a thing she has that you obviously have no idea about that's a shitty thing to do and if you're also saying it for other reasons and are also upset by that it just sounds like none of these are reasons you should hook up with or get with this person in in any way shape or form because it seems like you're doing it just because

she's there no i mean like i don't know if that i don't get the vibe that she's doing it just because she's there i i think the and i think this is a common thing for people who do have autism i i think that there's like it's obviously he has no idea what the fuck he's talking about he's obviously he's like the ignorance level is is off no idea what the fuck he's talking about. He's obviously he's like the ignorance level is, is off the charts here. I think he's worried about things like, you know, is it taking advantage of someone who has autism to like try to ask them out or

like what kind of like, or is it going to be hard to date them because they have autism? Like, I think that's kind of the vibe I'm getting from him. So I think like one of the most important things we talk about, I would, I would agree with that. But the thing is he's saying he has no idea, but he's also saying they're a bad fit. That's like, you can't think you're a bad fit if you've no idea, unless you're just going to make shitty generalizations.

Well, he says like, what even is autism? Like, I get what it is, but how could it affect a potential relationship? But he also then before that says we're not a good fit. So it's like, to me, it seems strange to be like, we're not a good fit and then blame it on the thing he actively admits he has no idea what it is. Some things to know about autism. A lot of people talk about the spectrum, which I think a lot of people see it as like a 2D sliding scale of like not autistic in the middle. And then like, you know, you go one way or the other

towards various other diagnosis. But like, that's not how autism works. Autism is much more like an array. It's like sexuality. Yeah. It's not just gay straight by. It's like, you could be like, you know, anywhere. Like what's the Kinsey scale.

Yeah. And like, it's almost like, think of it more of like a tree with, which branches off and then those branches have branches and those branches have branches. And like the people at the end of those branches are, are like the leaves are the people who have that very unique combination of things. So like you'll meet an autistic person who has no sort of outward tells,

and then you'll meet someone who has autism, who like doesn't like a certain color, doesn't like physical contact, can't make eye contact. Like those are all, but like they could also just be social anxiety like there's it's frustrating when i hear people talk about like high functioning and low functioning as if that means anything people with autism can range from like you know you wouldn't know unless they told you at all to like needs you know assistance in various degrees in life to like literally

anything in between one of my best friends growing up was autistic uh he had asperger's and he had some like quirks and some like tics but you would not have known he was any different to anybody else and in a way i'm not in a way but he literally isn't you know what i mean it's like people need to be able to step away from this like oh you're autistic and you know treat people like people and so like the reason i thought this was an interesting question one to bring in is like you don't need to treat people who are autistic with kid gloves or treat them any differently nine times like and if you do she told you hey i don't like being touched by people the fact that she is you know okay touching you might be an indication that she feels comfortable and trusts

you that's a great sign that's cool great awesome but there are like there's no harm, you know, okay, touching you might be an indication that she feels comfortable and trusts you. That's a great sign. That's cool. Great. Awesome. But there are like, there's no harm in, you know, before doing things, getting clarification, getting permission, getting, you know, consent is important regardless of whether someone is autistic or not. So if you do go on a date, you know, there's no harm in saying, Hey, do you mind if I hold your hand? You know what I mean? Like there's no harm in this. And if someone gets upset about that, then that's their issue, not yours. I think it's really cool that like, you know,

they were open and honest about their shit from the get-go. So it's like, it's not like you found this out secretly and you've never actually talked about it. She said, I don't like being touched. She said she's autistic. So it's like, you don't have to feel weird about bringing this up. If she's like holding your hand or whatever,

you can just be like, oh, you know, I thought you didn't like being touched like or something to that degree and like bring it up and maybe she'll be like oh you're not so bad or if i initiate it's fine or whatever and then you'll know yeah i don't think anyone would be upset if you tried to clarify you know things that help them out you know what i mean like like you said like just being like is this okay if she's touching just being like, is this okay? If she's touching you, being like, this is okay. And then they will hopefully clarify as to the parameters of whatever you're unsure of.

And you can be like, like I said, maybe it's okay if she initiates it. Great, cool. Now you know this. And you just have to move forward and learn and treat this person the way that you would treat anyone

and learning anyone else's own individual preferences because i know people who aren't autistic who don't like to be touched like dane doesn't like his nipples touched i fucking don't touch my nipples you gotta learn that he doesn't like his eyelids poked or scraped oh you don't want to get into the trap of being like oh am i allowed like date them is it bad for me it's like's like, they're fine. They're human. They're at work. Get out of that mindset and just treat them like a normal fucking person. It's like, by all means, clarify or pay a little extra care, but take the fucking kid gloves off.

Take the weirdness out of this. Be aware that you are their senior, both in age and work. You know what I mean? But once you're not being creepy in that regard, fucking ask them out on a date. Ask them where they'd like to go. If have like sensitivity to like stimulus maybe they won't want to go to a crowded bar maybe they want to go somewhere quiet but again that's anyone could be like that you know what i mean like there's nothing really different happening here so just

be open to what they say but like don't be weird shall we move to tinders let's do it at the end of the episode we like to peruse online dating check out tinder hinge bumble christian mingle mash.com e-harmony is e-harmony still a thing i don't know um mostly we look through tinders and uh we comb them for red flags what things are are bad what are good and we try to make your online dating experience a little more manageable, a little more enjoyable. This is Amanda. Being with me is seductive, fun, and often an addictive experience that you will find hard to compare to other women. I believe that life should be a savory experience and not just an existence. If you are a man with a big heart who knows who you are, loves what you do, and the only missing piece in your life is an epic partner,

this is the last profile you'll have to read. I am a no-drama woman. Please write when you are free and ready for a new person in your life. Are you in? Wink face. Some interesting choices of words and phrasing. Yeah. It's a bit intense.

Maybe I'm in a good mood today, but I'm not really upset at it. It kind of reads like someone's first novel where you're just throwing in fucking adjectives everywhere. That's what I mean. It's a bit intense and a bit much and a bit sort of try-hardy. A little arrogant too. Being with me is seductive, fun

and addictive and you'll find it hard to compare to other women it's like look i love that you're bigging yourself up i love that you seem to be like hey i'm the best but also it's a little much so like again but like i don't really see anything there that makes me want to run away from them no i don't think it's a great yeah i'm gonna give it a five okay it's it's just kind of like middle of the road i don't like it's not a bad profile just just nothing like nothing there to hook me nothing there to repel me so i'm giving it a five this is saffwan egyptian relocated to toronto from istanbul march 2020 covid times for good looking to make friends dates and anything in between

easy go easy going with no set agenda. It's so boring. I feel like anyone who says they don't have an agenda. Yeah, has an agenda. Has an agenda. The profile, you're right, it is boring. It's bland. It feels to me like if I was like, hey, you know, boy who moved to Toronto from Ireland,

unarmed. Yeah. Don't have a weapon. Exactly. There's just that last, like everything is just sort of like, meh. And then you't, don't have a weapon. Exactly. Like there's just that last, like everything is just sort of like, man. And then you're like, okay, why is that last line so sinister? And maybe again,

I could be just reading into this. Maybe it's a translation thing. Maybe he's just trying to say like easy going, not looking for anything specific. Yeah. But the, like no agenda. The second anyone says agenda, I'm maybe they mean like I'm on a literal, like no agenda the second anyone says agenda i'm maybe they mean like i'm

on a literal like life agenda you know i mean like i have no plans i'm easy going i'm just kind of like free and easy but i will say i once when i was in thailand i saw a tattoo place and it had in giant letters clean needles yeah i'm just like hmm you gotta say that? I'm gonna give it a five. To get the word agenda out of there, right, dude? I'm giving it a three because it's boring. Actually, no, yeah, I'm gonna give it a three. Like, it has nothing. It's like, cool, you moved here from somewhere.

And that's it? That's all you're giving me? Is that what you are? Ready for Meg? Yeah. Mixed race, light skin, native princess. I make music and fashion. Find me on Instagram.

Boys with bills only. Must be rolling more than me dollar emoji heart emoji fire emoji no job no chance heartbreak emoji cool cool cool i mean let's face it if you're making art and music chances are you're not making shit so you've set the bar a very low. Yeah. It's a garbage one. It's getting a two. Yeah. I don't like it either. That's two for me as well. This is Max single father,

a child of God, science enthusiast, fully vaccinated, STI free looking for dot, dot, dot in quotations. You, if you are the center of the world,

then swipe left. If you are a narcissist, bully or racist, swipe left. If you are a narcissist, bully, or racist, swipe left. Looking for you. That's kind of creepy. STI-free, again, kind of a weird one because it's like, I feel like a lot of these things are implied. Yeah. On one hand, it's pretty rad that if you're open enough to discuss STIs and get regular checks and all that, like a lot of people aren't,

they're just terrified of the whole process. So it's like, in one sense, sound pretty sex positive and like, you know, experienced. In another hand, it's kind of got that clean needles feeling.

You know? Yes. So I'm going to give it a six. Seven. For me, see, I'm giving it a higher one because, and here's the reason i i got pretty

skeptical when it said child of god but then proceeded to say he's a science enthusiast got fully vaxxed talking about sti free which makes again makes it seem like he's very sex positive and then also is like you know no bully racist narcissist so yeah and i'm not saying that all fucking religious people are bad, but I'm just saying usually people who make religion their identity tend to have a very specific

worldview that can be not great. Fucking shit. So I think, like, I was really, I was continually surprised by the things he was saying after almost initially saying that he is a child of God. Now, the science he follows is Scientology, though, and he's only STD free because he's waiting for marriage. Maybe.

I mean, and he thinks people that don't support protesting outside Planned Parenthood's are bullies and racist. He wants them to swipe left. So now give it a. No, I'm still giving it a seven. It's kind of boring overall. Again, it's like I would like to know more about you. I don't hate it, though. So seven.

Yeah, I'm giving seven as well. You said you were giving a higher. Well, I'll give it a 7.2. Okay. This is April with two L's. Feminist, intellectual, INTP, children's mental health workaholic generally pretty selfish shrugging emoji sometimes i don't get jokes country kid in the city my dog is my everything i am deliberate and afraid of nothing is a quote cool i mean the second anyone willingly admits that they're selfish is a hard pass for me also

i don't get jokes it's like why are you like why would you tell me those two things because those two things are are shit they're selfish way more than anything yeah to just come straight imagine like me so i'm like hey i'm usually pretty selfish i'm a super selfish person just so you know that all right cool well then consider me not interested. Yeah. Hi, welcome to Fuck Buddies. I'm Niall. I'm very selfish. Yeah, I'm going to give this a two.

Yeah, it's a two. This is Edward, 27. You're not so average, Disney-loving, bubble tea-drinking, corgi-butt-poking purveyor of cute pharmacist. Looking for dates, travel buddies, and someone to force me to the gym. Laughing emoji. Long-term relationship-minded, but open to whatever comes my way so is he saying he's a a pharmacist or he's a purveyor of cute pharmacists so i've now just noticed that he does have his his uh occupation listed as pharmacist but i feel like at some point in time either he doesn't like he didn't use the right word but it does sound like he is

kind of collecting cute pharmacists right because like what if i'm not a pharmacist i would just swipe left yeah and i'm not a pharmacist i know that's gonna come as a shock to everyone here yeah and like i'm trying to like read this in a way that he could maybe rearrange it maybe he's just a purveyor of cute. I think that's what he's trying to say. Yes. I think he's trying to say, I'm a purveyor of cute and a pharmacist, but like the way he's strung it together and in

his sentence structure, it makes it sound like he is just collecting a menagerie of adorable pharmacists. Which, hey, I'm all here for, but yeah, I don't love it. That, specifically. I like all here for. But yeah, I don't love it. That, specifically. I like that he mentions bubble tea at Disney and poking Cordy's butts because it's a fucking hobby I can get behind. Yeah.

Mostly good. It's going to be seven. He just kind of lost me with that confusing sentence. Yeah, I would. Yes, I would say I'm going to give him a seven too. But you need to work on your sentence structures. Speaking of people giving a lot of information about themselves this is sammy 27 i'm black not indian and then there's snapchat

how would you ever not swipe right on that it makes me yeah i don't even yeah it's two i'm gonna give it a one because it's literally nothing. I just want to save my ones for like the terrible shit. Oh fair, I thought we were done. I thought that was our last one. Oh, I got like five more. Okay, well we're not gonna do five more. This is by Siri SS. Tired of being an adult? Be my baby then. And the like

two fingers twisting against each other emoji and like a emoji. And then SS. It's from my first and last name. Not about Nazis. Sorry. Sorry. I can't edit it unless I delete my account from Bangkok,

Thailand. That's pretty good. Cause I did wonder about the SS. Yeah. I just like, there's so how many people must have asked her that she had to be like, now how many people were upset about it or how many people were excited by it? That's the real worry, isn't it?

That's the real question. I mean, other than that, like, five? Yeah, five. Because I'm not going to kink-shame her baby play. That's fair. And this is Sydney. I have a cat. It purrs.

Can you play recreationally? Soccer, volleyball, or basketball? I'm assertive and don't care about your feelings, so if you're beta, swipe left. Must be useful in other ways than being useless. That went a direction I was not going to expect. This is going to be a, hmm. I'm going to give it a 2. I think it's slightly better than the racial clarification of the last post. No, this is worse. That one had nothing, but this is actively shit.

I'm assertive and don't care about your feelings. So if you're beta swipe left, it must be useful in other ways than being useless. I think they thought that was a smart thing to say, but is in fact a fucking useless thing to say. Because being useless isn't useful. So shut up. God damn it. It's a one or a zero for me yeah okay you've you've you've swayed me on this one as well i will also give it a one i don't care about your fear why would you say that like you don't care about anyone's feelings or just your potential partners because either way you suck yeah not great not great. How could you say that with a straight face?

That's absolutely wild, insane thing to say. Thank you very much for listening, friends. This has been our show. We're all done now. You've done it. You've made it to the end. And we couldn't love you more for joining us this week. But we try every week.

Every week. A little bit more. We try to give you a little bit more love. And I hope that's clear because we're killing ourselves for you guys. Oh, no. That's real dark. I don't have much love juice left, guys. Oh, no.

But I'll give you every drop. I'll give you every fucking drop. I got to meet up with Dane this week and just pump him full of more love juice. Gross. If you have a question for us, please visit us on our website at fbuddiespodcast.com. You can send us an email. You can find us on all our social medias, and

we will answer your question as soon as we can. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you to Josh Eagle and the Harvested for the song Paper Stars, and are you ready for some sex writing? This is from Fanfiction. Her figure had been filled out. The slim figure she had from before had been replaced by a giant hourglass figure

with long sleeves. Her hips were present without being too full, and her breasts easily reached a whopping G-cup, both of which stood out more thanks to her striped clothing. How did all this happen? He asked as he threw his hands out, gesturing to all of her. Are you really not going to reveal the name

of the characters it's all it says i don't know oh really you don't know what it's from no oh i thought you were playing coy with me i'm gonna hit me with some more fucking like cookie monster shit well okay now i'm looking down and apparently it's from five nights of freddy's fanfic which is just bizarre yeah my name is Tate Miller my name is Val Spain and we've been your fuck buddies