F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 149 - Plans with the Prince

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

Sometimes you've got plans with the prince and sometimes you've got a random booty call.  We don't know what the means and it doesn't matter if you do either.  Topics include not saying "I love you" back, dirty talk demoralization, vacation video mix-up, getting comfortable with your vagina, how to soak your dick and stay chaste, one night stand booty call protocol and giving break-up gifts.

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dan Miller. And I'm Niles Spang. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations and we turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we find questions on the topics of sex and dating, either online or from our wonderful listeners, and we answer them for you. Thus shelling out our advice. Selling it, even. Maybe. I don't know. Have we been charging this whole time time I don't think we have I have been I've just been pocketing

I've pretty much been embezzling advice yeah well the money that we've been making I'm going to space by the way damn it that's what I've been I've been hoarding all of this cash that we've been making on this bad boy and when I say we I mean I've been making on this podcast and I'm launching my own space program,

man. And there was me thinking we've been doing advice for free for two years. Um, is that we didn't have dick rocket. I think it's going to be a butt rocket. Okay. The least aerodynamic shape. I don't,

I didn't say it was going to be a successful space program, but I want to be the first button space. That's also Jeff Bezos. Cause he's a fucking butt. Yeah. I was going to be a successful space program, but I want to be the first butt in space. That's also Jeff Bezos because he's a fucking butt. Yeah, I was going to say he beat me to it as the first asshole in space. What? Probably not the first one. Lance Armstrong? No, Neil Armstrong.

Which one's the one with the balls and which one is the one in space? Probably both of the balls. Yeah, one of them had ball cancer. Maybe both did. You don't know. Maybe they both did. one with the balls or which one is the one in space probably both of balls yeah the occupy space one of them had ball cancer maybe both you don't know maybe they both did anyway the armstrong family were probably assholes too i don't know i saw him punch someone who said the moon wasn't real and i really appreciated that i think it was the moon landing wasn't real not the moon it was one or the other either way the guy was an idiot and it was very funny. Yeah, I shouldn't even joke about disparaging American hero, Neil slash Lance Armstrong.

Lance Larmstrong. You ready for a question? Yeah. This is by throwra234689. Said I love you to my 22-year-old male girlfriend, 24-year-old female. And, well, we've been dating for about three and a half months. And last night when she was leaving my place, I told her I loved her. How did she respond?

Oh, okay, thank you. And then left. I went to catch the door, but it crushed my pinky, broke it. So I had to go to the ER. I went alone because she didn't know what happened. I'm living the dream. Help. I mean, I can't really.

The pinky, I think, I can't really. The pinky, I think, is the worst thing here. And I really have nothing to offer it because I'm not a pinky doctor. Damn, did I bring it to my wrong podcast? Yeah, you're very profitable. Pinky. Wait, wait, wait. What does it say on the card you give out?

It's Dr. Fingers. That's another. That's still sex related. Damn it. But not in the way that you give out. That's Dr. Fingers. That's another, that's still sex related. Damn it. But not in the way that you'd think. Um, okay. It sucks when I love you is not returned. We'll put that out first and foremost.

However, it depends on how you like, is it literally, she was out the door. Cause you did have to catch it in which broke your finger. So to just sort of be like all right have a great night also by the way i love you is a bit of a strange maneuver and i don't know if you like had intended on saying it or if it just kind of slipped out that also i think

has some but you know some people take it very seriously about saying I love you to their romantic partners. And whether just because she didn't say back to you the first time doesn't mean she doesn't love you or won't grow to love you. But some people need to think about it. And some people get caught off guard and get very awkward about it. Well, yeah. Like, also, if she's leaving, maybe she didn't hear you. You know, like if you're like to the point where you have to lunge for the door in such a disastrous way, I can't imagine you guys were very

near each other. Yeah. I mean, she does say thank you, so I guess you could just, I don't know. No, I'm sure maybe it was like, oh, like, goodbye or blah blah, you know, like, maybe it was part of a sentence, you know? Yeah. Also, like, was she running for an Uber? Was the Uber outside?

You know what I mean? Was, maybe she was on the phone to the Uber. I mean, I once went on a date with a woman. I believe I've told this story before where we I gave her a kiss goodnight. And then she immediately ran into a cab or her Uber or whatever. It was like, I'm sorry. Very awkward. Bye. Well, I told my last girlfriend that I loved her on a very nice romantic picnic after we've been

dating for a few months and she laughed quite a bit just just like for a while yeah that hurt but like at the same time it's like she's an awkward person and she got blindsided and like it wasn't like uh oh you love me it was like a giddy like oh dear like ah this is happening and like i was unprepared and it should have been a sweet moment but like i got a little upset kind of is this the same ex that ewed your butthole no that was my first girlfriend um and that was the other type of overwhelming situation because my butthole is something to behold to butthole and it's like one

in that situation I should have taken that as the cute awkward way that she is and two you should say I love you because you mean it and not because you want something back you know like I think it should be a thing that you are willing to say and not get back because like just because you say it doesn't mean they have to feel it.

And to act any other way, as much as you might like it to be real, is really shitty. I think that's also part of why people get so awkward is because now you're on the hot seat and it's like shit, you have to say it and you have to say it perfectly. And like, you know. Yeah, there's there's been a long, you you know line of socialization about the importance of this moment in relationships and like literally any teen drama show or movie or you know that big sort of moment where we all sort of we practice this speech in our head and then when it comes time to do it it's a nightmare and a mess and it doesn't you don't say half the things that you practice you just kind of say i think i

love you instead of you know your big flowery prose practiced monologue and like that i think that really throws a wrench in the works as opposed to just sort of like when you feel it you say it and people are allowed to either reciprocate or kind of do as you did and be like thank you that means a lot to me but there is this pressure that you put on the other person of because of this, you know, weighted dynamic of it. That person then has to decide to be like, oh, hey, cool. Am I going to crush this person by not saying it back? Or do I betray myself and say it too early, despite the fact that I don't really think

I love this person right now? And also maybe have to then take it back in like two weeks, which is even worse. Yeah. I think what we really need to start working towards is I love you while it does hold significant weight. And I don't think it should be used flippantly. I think we need to take I think we need to walk it back a bit and realize that it is no different than telling someone that you have feelings for them or that you would like to date them. You know, I mean, like it is it is just another evolution of your feelings for someone. And it's not sort of the end of it. It's not like you've you've done it.

You've hit love like in a video game. You know, your heart meter is maxed out and that's it because it's not because like you're the way you love someone is going to change from moment to moment to year to year to person to person so this idea that like once you say you love someone to someone that it's a finite or a final thing isn't true and yeah it is just like kind of unfair to make it about the other person i think we should strive to make it like i'm letting you know this thing and it's like it's a cool admission and it's like it's hard to do but it's like this is how i feel about you and like it should almost be like a gift you know what i mean like it's it's almost like getting someone the present being like oh you didn't get me one

well that's and like i think a lot of people get the thank you very much as a like a burn or like this guy thinks probably thinks he's been slighted or you know has had his heart ripped out because she didn't say it back but like saying thank you is kind of the correct answer in my opinion it's a very nice thing to say you know like the bad things are like oh i don't like you at all we're breaking up you know yeah someone or or someone being like oh i think maybe we're moving a little too fast like that's not the best answer to it still an honest one it's still a fair one but someone saying hey thank you very much that means a lot to me isn't a rejection it's someone saying that they appreciate your willingness to be open they appreciate your

affection and the emotions that you have towards them but they're just not quite ready to say it back yet and that's fine and the thing is like next time you see them it could well be that they were blindsided and they say it and it also might not be and those need to be okay with you and you need to like be able to let this go and like not then be like well you haven't said it yeah it needs to be something that you've decided that you want to let someone know regardless of how they feel and it like there's all sorts of sort of gray areas with this of the like it's like do you keep saying it despite the fact that you know that they're not going to say it back or haven't said it back yet even though like i i'm not sure how i feel about that because it might come across as like blackmailing.

Yeah. And like kind of pressuring and putting, putting more weight on the situation. I think that until it's reciprocated, I would probably just leave it. There's also no harm in being like, you know, Hey, so like the thing I said the other night, um, I just want you to know that like no pressure on you. Like, I just wanted to let you know that like, you know, things have been incredible with you and I just kind of like had to say it. So like, don't feel pressured. And I hope I haven't made things weird.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think having an actual conversation about it, as opposed to throwing it at someone as they're sort of leaving you at the end of the night. I think maybe sitting down and being like, exactly like you said,

just, just put it on the table be like hey i love you i'm not looking for anything in return you're welcome to say it whenever you're ready if you're ever ready but just know that this is how i feel and i'm i'm very happy with you and i think that kind of clears the air it removes the pressure on on them from having to save it back or or constantly wondering if they should say it back and that's the thing like for all you know she's not sure what you said and like even if she is like maybe she's gonna feel awkward bringing it up and you don't want to like have it looming over your relationship like next time you hang out you don't mention

she doesn't mention it and then like things are really fucking awkward like be an adult like say like get it out there and just be like you know talk about it and also specifically in this situation don't then put the like broken finger on her or the fact that like she didn't go to the hospital with you or like you know what i mean like it's it's easy to have that add up to your shit feeling and then like build that onto the situation that's a shitty thing that has nothing to do with her, unfortunately. You know, and hey, one day this will be a very funny story. I will also say that just another little add-on piece of advice.

This is going to cost you, but whatever. We do need to get some cool chrome butt plates. Don't put your hand in closing doors. I did that once. And this like metal door of an old apartment and let me tell you one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me yeah you ever slam it like full slammed it in a car door no why would i do that it's that's a pretty cool experience that's insane hey you want to know a funny thing so i was at the dentist

earlier and i'm lying there and there's like dental hygienist on one side dentist on the other there's like four things in my mouth and the dentist goes uh oh just bite down on this and i go me who else even his nurse are just doing some kinky shit yeah hey ball gag time ball gag time dental hygienist. Get it in there. It was really funny because, like, I don't know whether they were being polite

or if they didn't understand my mumbles while there were multiple things in my mouth, but then I couldn't stop laughing because it was so fucking dumb. Could have been all the stuff they jabbed at me to make me go because they had to double up. Anyway, ready for a new one?

Hit me one. Hit me one. To make me go. Because they had to double up. Anyway, ready for a new one? Hit me one. Hit me one. To make you go. This comes from Reddit user Tomorrow Electric 21. Boyfriend makes degrading comments judging me for my body in bed. This only happens

when we're getting hot and heavy. He tells me things like I have a big ass like a hoe and that I belong at Hooters. Even worse is he tells me I'll never achieve my academic or career aspirations. This isn't real. I want to become a software developer because of people judging me as a low class,

judging me as low class due to my figure. On Saturday night, we were undressing in my room and he said, wear whatever nice clothes you like. You still look like a girl in a rap video. Imagine someone hiring you for anything but porn. Damn. I told him, imagine someone being with you when you talk to them like that. We're done.

Get out. And he said, baby, I'm sorry. I was just talking dirty. I said, that's supposed to get me horny, not make me want to give up on all my life goals. Then he said, shut up and get on your hands and knees point your pussy my way I obeyed and got fucked but afterwards I thought about what happened and wish I refused to do it sick of how whenever he gets horny he makes me feel like I'll never be respected for anything besides being an object of sexual desire am I going to be around men like this as a woman in the stem in stem when I grow

up should I accept that my boyfriend just has a kink? Or should I view his talk as a serious problem? I can't speak to STEM because every person is different. It's not just like, oh, you're in that degree? You're really bad slash very good at dirty talk. Because those are some choice phrases. But we'll get to that in a minute. Should you just accept this is a kink?

No. It doesn't matter if it's a kink or not. It's like a consent thing. You can't just throw your kink on someone and be like, oh, yeah, no, I'm being fucking awful to you, but it's what I'm into. Oh, you don't like it? Shit, that's tough. That's not it. It doesn't matter if this is a kink.

It doesn't matter if this is the only way he can come. It only is okay if you guys have discussed it and you fully acquiesce to it. And obviously that's not the case given this question. And is this serious problem? Yes, because you don't like it and you're upset enough to write this thing. And it seems very cruel and targeted, which is not okay again, because you have not laid this out and agreed to it. Yeah. I mean, talking dirty. Also, it seems like, you you know some of it works for you because he did tell you to get on your hands and knees to point your pussy his way and

you so eloquent obliged and it's like that sure is dirty talk saying you're never going to achieve your goals and dreams that was a wild leap because initially i thought it was going to be the kind of question where it's like oh like i forget what it was but the first two like you have a big ass like a hoe yeah and you look like you belong there's this like they're kind of not great but like i can almost understand the intent behind movies basically saying nice ass and nice boobs yeah like a little bit of demeaning in there which i thought it was like going to be a misconstruing it or like gray area kind of question as opposed to him just being just so mean. Like, wow. And so specifically mean, which leads me to believe that he knows this is a thing you're insecure about.

And that's the kick he's getting. Yeah. yeah i mean like if you want to talk to your partner about sort of degradation play and a dom sub relationship in which he does sort of like talk down to you that's fine if you're into that great but you need to also have the conversation as now said and be like hey i don't want you belittling me because i'm a woman entering into the stem fields like that's not something i want like i don't find that sexy. I don't find that arousing. Being told to get on my hand and knees.

Check. Love it. Maybe telling me I'm a dirty whore. Great. Perfect. I'm cool with that. But being like you'll never achieve anything. More than being a fuck toy. Might be crossing the line a little too much. And you need to set those boundaries. These are the things I'm okay with.

This is the line I don't want you to cross. And if he doesn't listen to you, or if he thinks that, you know, doesn't think that you're being a reasonable person in setting those boundaries, then absolutely leave this dude because he doesn't

give a shit about you. And it's just like that that plain and simple yeah like it yeah exactly what dade said um so good luck have this conversation with him if he doesn't want to play ball with your requests or if you don't want to play ball at all then it's time to move on 100 like that's it that's it. If you don't want degradation play at all, then don't settle for like a midway where he's just kind of mean to you, you know? You got to do what you want.

And if you don't want that, don't do it. And if you do like it, then you need to lay out boundaries. 100%. All right, hit me. This is by Hot Frankie Chip. Help, accidentally sent my mom my sex vid. Not the whole thing, just a snippet.

Long story short, me, 23-year-old female and partner of 25-year-old male, had just returned from holiday where obviously we took a load of pics. We also filmed a couple sex videos on his phone. He has an iPhone which automatically creates these collages of pictures to celebrate an event if it recognizes you've taken a lot of pictures in a short space of time. So he sends me the collage with the caption, cute holiday collage.

I watch first 10 seconds or so, which are very cute and tame, mainly pictures of us at the beach looking couple-y. So I forward it to my mom, assuming it's all good, and a sweet video to show our time away. What I didn't realize is that towards the end, there's a clip of my boyfriend throat-fucking me as my head dangles off the side of the bed. Boyfriend

said the caption was meant to be funny as the sex clip appears so unexpectedly among the other clips and photos. I obviously didn't clock what he meant and realized my awful mistake. My mom has seen it now and my boyfriend is panicking about how I could have sent it without watching it the whole way through. I am mortified. Shouldn't say anything but I'm not sure what approach to take here.

What should I do? It is a very funny like I am imagining it of being like, this is nice and then it's just like yeah just yeah it's just like being absolutely fucking oh boy that's a tough one and unfortunately this is one of the ones where you do either have to hit your mother so hard she loses sort of her long-term or short-term memory depending how quickly you can get there or never like you're out of the family now like you never go back or counterpoint you didn't watch your own video all the way through what's to say she did i mean that's also if

someone sends me shit like that unless it's of cats doing things no one wants to look at your holiday photos yeah she probably like was like, oh, cute. Boom. Hey, maybe maybe she's such a mom. She didn't even know how to open it. I mean, that's another hope. But here's the thing. I know that with my parents, they gobble up literally anything that like we send her.

Like I could send my mom. It's really particular phrasing for what we're talking about. I know. But I could literally send my, my, my mom, identical photo of my cat every day. And she would be thrilled by it.

So there's also, you also run the risk of having a mom that just, or parents or family, maybe like aunt Mildred was over and she gathered everyone around the iPad. And look at this. Oh, you know what? I feel like this is a ball in their court kind of situation,

right? Because it's like, if they have a problem with it, they will bring it up to you. At which point you can be like, you know, oops. Yeah.

If, oh damn. If they haven't seen it and you bring it up, that's basically just showing them the video. Yeah. You know? So it's like the only like hope in this is that somehow she hasn't seen it and you bring it up that's basically just showing them the video yeah you know so it's like the only like hope in this is that somehow she hasn't seen it and that hope is gone if you explain it so i feel like if she's seen it you'll you'll probably know when you meet her eyes for the first time and you see just like the raw horror you'll know and then you go you saw it didn't you and she'll be like yes and then you can proceed

from there i think this is one of those unspoken rules of families where when someone sees something they shouldn't they just don't talk about it right like unless you were unless it was something that you know they were concerned about which frankly could be true considering the subject matter. But I think that like at the end of the day, if you know, if, if you ever have one of those awkward family moments of like, oops,

you walked in on your sister in the shower, you know what I mean? Or like, you know, getting changed or something, or you walked in on your brother masturbating. It's like, you guys don't talk about that.

You both know what happened. You both forget it happened. You never talk about that you both know what happened you both forget it happened you never talk about it you move on and i think this is kind of what you have to have to really rely on here is that this happened no one will ever talk about it again because if they do then they have to talk about you getting throat fuck and no parent wants that yeah that's 100 it i would just like ignore it again, if it is such a bad issue for them that you need to talk about it, she will bring it up. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Like you will get the text of being like, hey, maybe don't come home for Easter this year. Or just like we need to talk or call being like, what was that? You know, like I don't know how chill your mom is, but considering the fact that she hasn't called you crying or screaming probably pretty chill yeah you know you're fine i mean this is far more of a nightmare for the boyfriend oh my god yeah than for you because she's gonna be like hey can you help me with the dishes and he's gonna be like this is it yeah this is the moment because like at the end of the day you're their sweet girl who's getting throat fucked and he's the monster who was throat fucking you and probably holding the camera yes you know um so there's there's way more connotations and way more like uh bad bad thoughts spiraling that can happen where it's like were you coerced are

you being hurt is he hurting you is he making you do these things do you want to you know what i mean like there's there's a lot of that happening or could happen for him so it's like maybe he needs to cool it on the family holidays for a bit until this kind of blows over or you guys just carry on and pretend like it never happened i vote that because you could also pretend like you didn't know it was in there you know what i mean if if you guys go in acting like nothing is wrong then maybe they're like were we hacked yeah and that's the thing it's like so i once got a present which was i think it was for my 18th birthday and it was like a friend of mine shout out to carolyn uh gave me like this plate decorated with like a collage of various things and one of them was me

butt naked except for a cowboy hat over my penis um mid like lap dance at a friend's birthday and i got it and put it away and then my mom found it was like what is this and i looked her dead in the eye and i said photoshop and she looked at me and i looked at her and we both walked away and we never spoke of it again because she doesn't know enough about photoshop to say whether or not that's true and i don't think she wants to know if it was true so depending on how you sent this just be like ah you guys need to do a virus scan there's a thing where they're attaching like leaked porn clips or like attaching porn clips onto like you know email attachments and stuff so you guys definitely need to do a virus scan because much like niles story, my parents have no idea how how things work.

My dad thought he deleted the Internet once because he like deleted the icon that opens Chrome. He was that was the day the world fell apart because the Internet was down everywhere. Yeah, that's fine. You can get it. I really think you just need to pretend like nothing's happened. Never acknowledge it. And it will stay that way for the end of time. 100%.

Until your boyfriend gets drunk at like a family dinner 10 years from now. And says it. True. That'll happen. All right, hit me. This comes from Proper Recognition 10. Is my body scarred? I am a female, 18, and I've been with my boyfriend, 20, for about a month.

We've been sexually active and had no issues until he revealed something about me. He's told me that when he goes inside me, it doesn't feel normal. It feels tight at first, but then it feels loose once he goes deeper. FYI, he was with a girl before. I had told him about my first time and how it was extremely painful and the guy was really rough. That was the first and last time I saw that guy. He was about 8 inches. My boyfriend is about five or six inches i had lost my virginity at the beginning of may and didn't

have sex until my boyfriend came along in june this revelation has made me feel really insecure and even considered getting surgery to fix my walls has anyone else had a similar experience are my walls completely scarred or is there a remedy should i get an x-ray please leave your opinion in the comments like vaginas are miracle parts of the body that definitely heal from almost everything, including childbirth. So I'm imagining they're probably fine. But like, if you're concerned, go see a gynecologist. Don't immediately jump towards surgery when you have no idea what's going on. But like, if there's a reason you actually think something is wrong with you, by all means, go see a professional. But I'm guessing this guy doesn't really know what he's talking about.

Look, as now said, the vagina can literally pump out a fucking watermelon sized living being. I really don't think this one time with a dude with an eight inch dick has irreparably damaged your vagina. Unless again, it you're downplaying the roughness of it. And there was, you know, some sort of actual physical trauma happening in there. But again, that it's, it doesn't change the,

you know, construction of your vagina. I also feel like there probably would have been a lot of other very big indicators that something, you know what I mean? Like, it wouldn't just be like, like you would probably see a lot more trauma very big indicators that something you know what i mean like it wouldn't just be like like you would probably see a lot more trauma and like blood and like pain and like you know

there's a lot of shit that like you wouldn't be surprised and consider it only them when this guy is like i stuck fingers in and i'm not sure because guess what a 20 year old boy who's had sex with one woman before he isn't sure as now said i and i think the most important thing here is get used to going to your doctor when it comes to things that that are sensitive and you really can't sort of google or ask a second opinion because like you really can't like you need a medical professional to look inside of you really um so you need to normalize especially now that you're sexually active, visiting the doctor and being okay with them examining your genitals. It's just as simple as that. And you need to get

familiar with a gynecologist because that is if you're ever worried, go see a doctor. And that goes for everything. But I think it goes especially for sensitive areas such as your genitals. You can't be trusting some random 20 year old guy because like, like I know people in their 20s who think girls can just hold in their period. They just hold it in. Like, why don't they just wait until they get home to pee it out? Yeah. And that's wrong. There's also the idea of like women's or, you know, the fact that, oh, you were with a big dude.

You're irreparably stretched out and, you know, you're going to have, you were with a big dude. You're irreparably stretched out. And, you know, you're going to have a big loose vagina now. Sorry, dude. Sorry, small dick, new boyfriend. Yeah, it's like my giant dick stretched your girlfriend. It's like, no, that's not what happens. Yeah. That doesn't happen.

And that's kind of why I jumped to saying that first. Because, like, I'm assuming she's heard this growing up. And is, like, worried that that happened. And it's, like, it's never been real. It's always been bullshit. The fact, the thought of girls who get loose, bullshit. You know what I mean? Again, the vaginal walls are incredible.

They can accommodate a lot of things and go right back to how they were. I know, yeah. Because are you saying that after someone has given birth they just have this oh no you know what i mean no sex at all watermelon sized vagina no of course not that's not how the human anatomy works so this eight inch dick has not fucking turned you into a fucking chasm so yes go to the doctor also like sometimes people's vaginas feel different you know i mean like i've you know had my fingers in someone that felt different than somebody else. You know what I mean?

Did it mean they had a problem? No. Is this guy being weird because it's different? Yes. And that's also not an issue. It's just that you feel different to somebody else. And you know, we're all fucking.

That's a very, very good point. Yes. The, the, just like dicks are all different. So are vagina. So this guy has had one experience with one other vagina with one other woman

and that was i guess his benchmark which you know fair like that's that will be kind of what he measures everything against because that was his first but at the same time it doesn't make your vagina any different the way that like just because you're with a guy who is bigger than him doesn't make his dick tiny yeah it's not like someone cut off the end of it yeah so this dude just kind of needs a lot more experience and i think you guys do need to have a conversation and be like hey uh thank you for telling me that i guess but my body is going to be very different from the people that you've been with the same way that your penis is very different from the people i've been with and will be with so please don't make it feel like and again i don't know how this guy has talked about it yeah like maybe he was honestly

concerned maybe he was just insecure and being a dick maybe he was just being a dick like you know i mean there could be anything and it's hard to tell the context from this but like he might have just been being an asshole have this conversation of being like my vagina might be different from the ones that you've been with and you know especially if you've gone to the dog and be like there's nothing wrong with me and yeah i feel like if you're paranoid and you're upset and you're confused and concerned which it seems by all means go to the doctor you know what i mean like hopefully you live in a place where it's affordable and accessible because I think even if nothing comes of this, which hopefully it won't, breaking that, like, like popping that cherry and like starting that relationship and like beginning like this very healthy kind of like,

you know, self-regulation and self-acceptance and all these things are going to really stand to you as you progress in life in every way, but also sexually. So that's just good to do no matter what. But on top of that, you'll be able to know instead of guessing and hoping and worrying that you're okay. And then when you have this conversation, you don't need to be like, well, I'm pretty sure you can be like, I went to a doctor. I'm totally fine. Different vaginas feel different, you know, newsflash. but yeah there we go hit me baby this is by sister of the black moon oh really bad at sex so i've been seeing this guy for three

weeks been staying the night with him every single night he's a bit bigger than i'm used to which is great except his idea of sex is just putting it all the way in and just staying there like no moving or anything except occasional pressing he also likes to put his hands all over my face and in my mouth, which is odd to me. I'm not even sure if he has came, but twice I know of in this three weeks. Once in my mouth and once he pulled out. We went four nights without sex, which was fine, but the amount he comes is almost non-existent.

I begged him to fuck me hard, but he just shakes his head no, or says no, and presses into me deeper and stays there. The whole no movement thing is starting to weird me out. Now he's recently recently divorced apparently hasn't had many partners so he's eight years older than me he even told me he doesn't even really know what he's doing i think we really like each other and everything else is going great i've just never been with someone like this who has sex like that i'm confused had to go about making it better

when i've asked him to go hard and he just says no see i mean our usual response is hey talk to your partner tell them what you'd like you've done that and he's just said no now to counter that she hasn't talked with him she's told him to do one thing while they're fucking that's true you know like a point i think we've talked about it before where it's like you don't just throw something out in the middle of it and like expect them to fully and mentally be present to like take that in and consider it and blah. So it's like, great. Like it's a very valid way of giving feedback and communicating with your partner. But if it isn't working, you need to then sit them down and actually talk to them because in no way have you said, oh, we talked to him and he said, I don't like going fast.

It's too much. Or my hips, I lost a hip in the war and now I can't go, and he said i don't like going fast it's too much or my hips i lost a hip in the war and now i can't go you know i don't know but like you just went and asked reddit which is great for us because we get to put on the podcast but yes the conversation is lacking and you need to have it that's a good point and i agree um you do need to uh have a non-sexy time chat and be like hey the next time we have sex, I would like to try this. Uh,

would you mind sort of penetrating me more than once? And sort of like an in and out motion or, you know what I mean? Be like, Hey, um, this time I'm going to be on top because Hey, guess what?

He doesn't get it. Like him just staying inside you while you're writing him is going to be a little more difficult. Not impossible. He can't do it. If he he if he's got the rhythm down he can he can't just stay in there but and and it could be a ton of different things maybe he suffers from uh premature ejaculation and like now said he's very very sensitive and it doesn't take much. I will say that like I have definitely done the whole put it in as far as it can go and like, you know, hope that the very fact that I'm like filling them as much as I can is good to buy time because I'm going to come way too early if I, you know, I don't just do it and like leave it there. I do it while I'm like, you know, talking to them or kissing their neck or like, you know, rubbing their clit or like all these other things that like, again, I'm hoping means they don't even pay attention to the fact I'm not trusting. Or I make it like, I'm not going to keep trusting until you're about to come. And like, it's a game and it's sexy and it's fun and all

these different things. So my mind immediately went to the fact that he's trying not to come to her. Yes, 100%. I also think that's it. I think he's probably getting back in the saddle if he's trying not to come to her yes 100 i also think that's it i think he's probably getting back in the saddle if he's you know just recently divorced this is probably all very much for him um we also don't know what his sex life was like with his previous partner maybe they you know had the whole dead bedroom situation and this is the first time he's having sex in however long maybe um she knew she was gonna divorce him and just been lying to him being like yeah this is what women like um but then she also says that like he barely comes which makes me think that maybe he's jerking off way too much and i don't like i don't really know i don't know i i i'm not sure what to do about this because i don't know anything about

this man or your situation so i think you just need to sit down and be like, hey, we need to talk about how we have sex because it's not working for me. And like, by all means, don't do that. But but say like the positive things first. Like, I love your dick. Like, I like having sex with you. Thing is, though, I really like, you know, the in and out thrusting of a penis and you seem to not do that you know and just be like you know I've said go harder when we're fucking and I know like it's putting you on the spot and you said no and I just want to like go into that like is it just like and you could be like you know if you're worried about coming too soon like I don't mind and like you know you could try doing other things like giving him head first and then later on when he's recovered, having sex so that he won't be as sensitive as before.

And, you know, then the extra like bonus is the head and, you know, all these other things that you can do to work around this. And it'll also be less of a problem if he knows you don't care. Like if he's there, panic that you're going to be like, oh, you came in like a minute. Get the fuck out. Yeah. Like if he knows that you're aware of his problem and that you don't really mind, it's going to be so much less pressure for him. And like, ironically, that might even fix it itself. Yeah. So really, like you, you got to do a diagnostic here and figure out why this is his only move and how you guys and if you got maybe this just like, maybe that's just the way he fucks. And he's like,

no, I get it. Like, I know what I'm supposed to, or quote unquote supposed to do. I know they're supposed to be penetration. I know they're supposed to be friction, but I just don't do that.

Yeah. And you know, if, if he's unwilling to work with you for, you know, if he can't do it for X, Y, or Z reason,

like if he gives you a compelling reason, whatever, if he can't work with you for no reason, fuck it. You don't want to be in that relationship. Now, Dan. Yes. Have you heard of soaking? No.

So soaking is, and this is the comment, so shout out to just a hard worker who's working hard for us. Soaking is the art of having sex without thrusting. So when a couple sticks it in and leaves it there to soak it's a common phenomenon with certain groups of christians predominantly mormons who try to circumvent the law of chastity so it's like it's in there but you're not trusting you're not fucking well that's they also state it does not in fact work to circumvent the law of chastity which i think i don't know isn't that god's whole thing do you get to speak for him i would agree that it's kind of bullshit yeah but um maybe that's it maybe it's like a chastity thing or like a no sex before marriage thing yeah maybe but i mean like hey guess what dude you're

you're blowing that yeah like just because it's bad sex doesn't mean it's not sex yeah and it's like if you're gonna go as far as to do this, then just fucking bite the apple, my dude. Like, get kicked out of that garden. Who cares? It's more fun down there. Yeah. So it could be that either.

I really hope it's not. Yeah, me too. I would rather this man just not know how to fuck than think that this isn't fucking. And like, if he can fuck, this could be great because you get to teach him how to fuck it's great it's gonna be great for both of you if you do it right and the positive way i will say there's a lot of potential for this man to have his male ego explode during this conversation yeah which you know is mostly on him but also just be aware of it and maybe try to try to ease that you suck at sex cop talk you know know? I mean, thankfully it sounds like she ain't that

kind of person. You know what I mean? It doesn't seem like she's really bashing him too much. She's just more bewildered, which I think is a very fair response for... This is from Liberpaz. Texting after casual sex etiquette. I, 30s female, had

amazing sex with an acquaintance, 30s male, a few days ago we went into it knowing we were having a night of passion after the deed we chatted for over an hour about our family and our career goals we did not discuss if this night was a passion if this night of passion was going to happen again when i got home i texted him saying i had a great time and had thanks i thanked him for the night no response it's three later. Maybe he's busy with work or he's not interested anymore. Do I text him when I'm in the mood next? This isn't a typical does he

like me post. I just really want to know if we can bang again. Yeah, I say no harm next time you're in the mood. Once you make it express, you know what I mean? Don't just be like hey, how are you? Because then he might just think you're trying to talk to him, which if he doesn't want to do just better to avoid gray areas and just be like either,

Hey, there was really fun last time. I would like to do it again so that you're setting it up for like a future or whatever, or just literally being like, I'm really horny right now. What are you doing? Yeah.

I like, that's the thing. If you really don't want to pursue anything with this dude, which it doesn't sound like you do. And you made very clear and he made very clear. There's no harm in like, if you're horny and you need a booty call to literally just send this guy like,

Hey, want to fuck. And that I promise you will probably get a response. Either. It'll be a, now I'm good. Or, you know,

on my way. Yeah. Hop in the taxi. Um, I'll tell you, it's a great message to get. I love it. Or I loved it back in the day. Um,'ll tell you it's a great message to get i love it or i loved it back in the day um i text you it all the time it's true yeah to like those kind of things were fine like i liked the the times where i wasn't really a one-night stand person because

i do like to you know get to know a partner over time but every now and then it happens and for whatever reason you guys just don't you know keep in contact but every now and then it happens, and for whatever reason you guys just don't, you know, keep in contact, but every now and then it's a nice surprise to get a message from someone that you had good sex with once, to be like, hey, you wanna fuck again? That's a great little surprise, that's a great little pick-me-up, being like, oh, hey, thanks, even though, like, there's a chance that, like,

maybe all their other plans fell through, doesn't matter, you're still gonna get to fuck someone you enjoyed fucking. Yeah, like, who cares? Like, they could've had plans with the prince and it doesn't fucking matter i don't know what that means but it's evocative who gives a shit the plans the prince who cares yeah now you're the prince tonight yeah it doesn't matter and like what i love is there's no gray area right it's not bullshit like oh like do i don't die like how do i word this like you guys are past that shit it's just like hey you wanna fuck yes yeah boom like you don't have to worry about like oh does she want to come over

and like hang out or blah like you both want to fuck and that's great just fuck it fuck or don't it's perfect do it message this boy when you're horny exactly yep this is from agent longship and it's less of a written down thing so i'm just going to paraphrase. So they famously gave an ex of theirs or someone they were breaking up with a painting as they ended things. And they weren't official. It was like a like, you know, casual thing at the time. But they want to know what our thoughts on are on giving presents as you end things with people. Is this famously gave them a paint? Is this Vince Vaughn from Wedding Crashers?

No, like famously as in it's a story that gets repeated about them. Oh, yeah. Vince. Actually, you're right. It is Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn's a listener of the show and wants to know if it was chill that he gave someone a painting as he told them he no longer wants to see. No, he got the paint. I know.

But then why did you say this? I've seen the fucking thing. It's sexual and violent. It is. then why did you say this i've seen the fucking thing it's sexual and violent it is now i know that but i don't want you to get mixed up about what the question is because you already seem confused yeah i mean i think todd asking for the painting back from vince vaughn's character it's unfair he gave it to no uh so the question is like how do we feel about giving like farewell presents i guess if you want to say that.

Because it sounds like they was. Was it like, here's a here's a painting and then oops, we broke up or. No, it was a here's a painting. Like as she met up with him to end things, she was like, I'm ending things with you. But also here's a painting. Now, what is the painting of? Because I think that painting was of his favorite Muppet. OK. I think that also was of his favorite Muppet. Okay.

Okay. All right. I was going to say, cause like if it's a painting of him being like run over by a street car. Okay. I see. Then I think that would be appropriate. See,

I don't think it would be. I think that would be crossing a line. Now was the painting done specifically as a breakup gift or was it? So, yes. Okay. See, like these are the details I need to know because I think like if he was

like, Oh, you're a really great artist. Do you mind if I commissioned a picture of Grover? And they were like, yeah, sure. We can do that.

And then they do it. And then, you know, for whatever reason, the relationship doesn't go any further. Like also, but by the way, here is your Grover painting.

I did do this. That's nice. But if it's like like i need to soften the blow a little bit here's this really cool painting of grover i think that was the intention also it was the swedish chef muppet fuck man i was gonna joke with the swedish chef yeah he would have gotten it now you see that's a little more threatening because the swedish chef does have a very large knife it's true and he was pointing it. No, I don't know what he was doing with the knife. So for me, I feel like it's firstly, I would imagine that painting ended up in the bin immediately.

Yeah. Like it seems like a waste of time for something that's like very rarely are people going to be like, hey, you know what? I really want a reminder of constantly is this failed relationship with mine yeah and also like it could be in my opinion seeing there's like a little like like what's the word i'm looking for like condescending where it's like oh i'm breaking up you but here's a little present here's a here's a here's the thing i think a little present for the broken up baby i think also like if it depends on the present as well i think giving someone that is expected to be in their apartment for a prolonged period of time or like in a place that is specifically theirs that seems like a fucking weird thing to do because like i said most people

don't want reminders of their failed relationships if for whatever reason you got him a his favorite cookie or his favorite slice of cake in which he could eat as a means of comfort and never has to deal with ever again. That's fair because you just eat it. You're like, yeah, fuck you. No, my mom. That was nice. Okay, I'm done. Yeah.

So I once had a girl come over to my apartment and end things with me out of the blue i was pretty upset and then for the rest of the week would make coffee and like leave it in a travel mug outside my door and text me and be like i left your coffee in the hallway i was like what are you doing did you drink it um no because i i had gone out and gotten very drunk with you the night before so by the time i woke up it was like bone cold yeah you did and i was like not i also didn't want to give them the satisfaction i still have the mug it's great um probably should have given it back but it was really fucking strange and like it pissed me off because it seemed very like mixed messagey to me it's like cool if we're done we're done like don't then be like oh i'm gonna interject myself awkwardly into your life at every moment i assume it was a guilt thing i

assume she felt bad or wanted to make herself feel better or something but i didn't want any part of it but that situation is much different because we're talking about giving a gift as you break up you guys have broken up and then got a gift, which I think is crazy. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't think like if it was, you know, she brought over coffee to do it so that you guys could drink, you know, your favorite coffee place together one last time for her to rationally and, you know, calmly end the relationship. Okay. That's okay. See, I wouldn't even like necessarily think of coffee as a gift though

you know what i mean like if she came over like a beer i'm like we drank a beer while we talked right into the relationship that would be like nice ish you know what i mean but like to be like hey we're done also here's a painting and she also did paint so this was a high possibility of happening um yeah it's like like i said i think anything that is meant to be in the long term displayed or kept yeah i like i don't think unless it was like a really great romance and there was no hard feelings like maybe they were like moving away for a really great opportunity you know what i mean i would i would like maybe want to keep a keepsake from a relationship like that but if it was just said like, Hey, this is working out.

I don't really have the same feelings for you anymore. You know, because every time someone's like, Oh, Hey, that's a really cool picture of the Swedish chef. You're like, thanks.

The girl that broke my heart did it. Yeah. For me, I feel like it's, it's mixed messages and it's also kind of like condescending. And like, I don't think anyone expects it. So like even at best,

I think it's kind of confusing i don't think you need to do it i don't know that's my opinion yeah no i i think again if someone wanted to break up with me and they brought me a very delicious pastry i i wouldn't be angry at that i just really want something sweet i've been cutting out sugar and i'm getting all fucking twitchy i want people to know or i want to know if people have ever given a breakup gift, and if so, what it is. What it was and how it was received. Yeah, what it was, how it was received,

or if you've gotten one, what it was and how you received it. And I'll post up on Instagram next week, if I remember. So I probably won't post up on Instagram. All right, Tinder time? Tinder time. Every week, we go through online dating profiles and point out the good, the bad, and the ugly. That sounds bad.

We don't look at the images. We look at their profiles and we just say, you know, what's working, what isn't. So Agent YOLO sent us in a few. This is a new addition to our Tinder review team. And let's just say she killed it. So this is from Hinge. This is Jamie. And it's one of those, like, you complete the, like, things.

So believe it or not, I, and then you fill it in. So, Jamie says, believe it or not, I, not. What? Believe it or not, I, not. As in, like? Just not. N-O-T. Just not.

I don't think he understood. No. This. Maybe he's saying he doesn't believe it. I don't know. They apparently laughed for an hour when they saw this but did not swipe yeah i mean maybe it's like at the borat school of comedy maybe it's believe it or not i not maybe right i think maybe maybe that's it it doesn't make it any better i'm

giving it a two i'm gonna give it a two as well because i feel like i i need room to go down yeah yeah that's where i was going. Do you want me to keep going? No, I got one. This is Allie. She says this app is like a prison on planet bullshit. Is that it? That's it. It's a one. You know what? I appreciate the wording

so I'll give it a three. I believe it is a quote from Step Brothers. Okay, then it's a two. But yeah, the thing is i would like to believe that this is meant sarcastically and not that they like do believe that the app is a prison but even then it's like with that's all you're getting it's like yeah okay i guess i know that you like stepbrothers but like who doesn't i'm not a big fan of it to be honest yeah but like you know you don't hate it i assume i don't know even even then it's like you like not liking stepbrothers is a bigger character trait than liking stepbrothers

yes it made me laugh but it's not enough for me to be like hey that's a good profile so yeah i'll yeah i'll give it i'll give it a four okay this is. Hey, I'm looking for a hookup because I have nowhere to hang my jacket. Rest assured you I'm not pleasuring anyone until they have won my heart and trust. Monogamous. I want my baby girl, not just a walking hole. I'm looking for a better connection than 5G, but through my experiences, I am in no rush and pretty select. It's hard to find a kind, pretty girl who's intelligent, loyal, active, affectionate,

and optimistic. No chemical drugs or smoked tobacco. Not kissing an ashtray, but 420 friendly. Hold on. Read the first part of that? Hey, I'm looking for a hookup because I have nowhere to hang my jacket. Okay. So he's saying I'm looking to have sex with someone because I don't have a home.

I assume he's making a horrendous joke about like a hook, like putting a hook up to hang his jacket. Well, to me, I read that as, hi, I'm homeless and I need to have sex with you so that I have somewhere to stay tonight. No, I don't think so. Fair enough, because then I was like, this seems counter to what you're saying in the rest of your profile. Beggars cannot be choosers, friend. Yeah, I was like, do you like i want my baby girl not just a walking hole yeah i like that that's a pretty cool way to deal with women who like to have sex yeah this guy sucks yeah well i'm glad i saved room for a big old one for this man yeah

i'm just gonna go zero actually because it's a garbage joke i love i love the joke it's now my new favorite joke all right this is cash where do i begin it all started on a warm april evening in 1992 when dot dot dot you can purchase the rest of the book on ibooks is that it is it i love it 10 yeah it's it's so good it's i've never seen this level of bullshit before, and I love it. It's great. Ten. 100%. Ready for Phil? Probably not, but sure.

I'm a laid-back, easy-going guy. I'm approachable, considerate, and can definitely be sarcastic at times. I'm hardworking and loyal. I love all animals, but I'm definitely more of a cat guy. I'm a sports fanatic. I am half Portuguese, half Italian. I have absolutely zero interest in having kids so i'm definitely looking for someone that feels the same if you'd like to see a picture just ask but

have a vomit bag ready i am fat and ugly i know bad combo hashtag just being honest man i was like hey this is the decent profile until he hit me with that what breaks my goddamn heart what's the profile picture now can you tell like a gray square oh man it's a such a good profile and he's so mean to himself yeah vomit bag ready i'm fat and ugly bad combo hashtag just being honest dude you don't you don't need to say that you're not making decisions for people they get to make the fucking decisions for themselves don't put words in their mouth yeah if you're gonna say that then just show a picture because i promise you someone isn't gonna think you're fat and ugly get rid of that entire last paragraph yeah you got yourself like a nine

maybe a 10 i don't know i like it it's a little bland you know you're sports fanatic what sports like something simple to like make it a little tighter would be a 10 we're in the stage of of the world that fat is no longer synonymous with unattractive and and that people who are larger are just as attractive or you know has the same worth so stop using fat as a as a derogatory term about yourself yeah it's like you can be fat i'll fucking own it don't put yourself down like this because you're all like you're starting off at such a negative it's like you can be fat or fucking own it don't put yourself down like this because you're all like you're starting off at such a negative it's like someone has to look at this disbelieve you and then ask for a picture before they can even decide for themselves they have to disbelieve you so much or ignore you so much that they're still able to make the effort

to reach out to ask for a picture which judging by this i don't even know if you'd send them because that's very you know self-depreciating and the thing is it's like you're setting yourself up for even more heartbreak because if someone does find you unattractive then you know specifically why yeah also they've gone through all this effort and then just like no sorry whereas like if you just have your pictures up then you don't know who's swiping left right so fuck it yeah but like don't be so hard on yourself phil you got a good profile just get rid of that shit you got a nine uh this is alexi questioning interest in exploring fun with men women non-binary etc polyamorous guy here have a boyfriend open to friends or more toronto based i may love halloween but i hate ghosts hey alexi what the fuck does that mean yeah

alexi you had a pretty pretty normal regular profile what is that what's your deal with ghosts yeah but you know what i've never been more curious to talk to someone in my life right it's a great hook because the first thing i would say is hey what happened yeah dude what do you mean this This ghost thing? What happened? 100%. It's a 10. It's a 20.

I need to know about the ghosts. Alexi, if you're listening, reach out. Please, Alexi. I did swipe right on them, hoping that I could solve this mystery. It's so strange because the rest of the profile is so straight. Almost like bland. You know what I mean? Like, it's good, but it's not that exciting.

It doesn't seem off the wall. It's very utilitarian. You can hit with that. Yeah. All right. Okay. Here's a, this is Alice. I'm predominantly air with Pluto in the 12th house.

And that might be all you need to know. Yep. That's all I need to know. It's true. I don't know what I'm looking for. Take me to your room and light a stick of incense and we can go from there. Ah, I, to be fair, be fair it is it the profile does exactly what i think it's setting out to do you and i may think it's a terrible profile but here's the thing

she says you know this bullshit at the start that's all you need to know for me and you that's right no like it kind of is all you need to know because like this is such a pluto in the 12th house way of going about things right like she's confirming it she didn't you need to know because like, this is such a Pluto in the 12th house way of going about things, right? Like she's confirming it. She didn't even need to say it. Like she's saying it and showing it, you know what I mean?

So like, it's such a Pluto in the 12th house way of like, fuck, I get it, you know? But I would say this is probably up someone's, someone's bullshit alley. The second paragraph is like a little sexy,

you know, take me to your room, light some incense. We'll take it from there. It's like, okay, if you didn't have this garbage fire of a first paragraph, maybe I'd be interested.

I don't know. The second someone says incense, I'm usually, I imagine they probably have way too many crystals and, you know, know what the 12th house of Pluto is. Also, you can't say that shit and like not be an alien,

right? Or like have superpowers. Like that sounds like you're, you know, the 12th house of L or whatever it's like a YA novel yeah like you can't like if I meet you and you can't control the elements or you know see through the cosmos

or some shit I'm gonna be so disappointed so stop saying it unless you have superpowers you know I assume it's be like controlling the dead right because Pluto is the god of the underworld that's Hades, idiot. That's Greek, idiot. I know. This is Melissa.

Just looking for my handsome Squidward. Also, if you couldn't tell, my dog really loves my kisses. That's weird. There is a photo of her dog absolutely not liking her being close to it. Oh, no. Okay, that changes the context a little yes um is the dog cute it's a little dog okay handsome squidward that's weird i think it's funny squiddies titties right like it makes me think of boner jams and that's all it needs to give me a 10 i'd give it a six

i think i'd need to see the picture of the dog because it like i thought it was like really serious and it was just like a picture of her like kissing making out yeah yeah my dog loves my kiss like it just felt like a really weird thing to say it makes more sense in context but i feel like it dipped me so low that me going back up six is the highest i can go all i got to 16 okay that's fine it's been an absolute pleasure as always thank you to everyone who's reached out during the week thank you for a lot of people have been sharing our stuff and liking our posts on good pods. Um, I think we're number two right now in the health and wellness indie charts. I think we're number eight of all podcasts on that. And we're in like the top 30 of all podcasts in general.

Um, it's funny cause people keep posting their like, Oh, we're in the top 10 and we're just like on the screenshot and I'm like, Hey, top 10. So yeah, if you have the app, oh, we're in the top 10. And we're just like on the screenshot. And I'm like, hey, top 10 friends. So yeah, if you have the app, go give us a little follow or a like. And thanks for hanging out with us. We appreciate you spending your time and an hour of your life with us. And it means the world to us. So thank you very much. If you have a question that you would like to send in to us or just want to say hello,

you can swing on by our website at fbuddiespodcast.com. All of our social media is there to send in to us or just want to say hello, you can swing on by our website at fbuddiespodcast.com. All of our social media is there to reach out to us. You can also use our contact form to assign yourself an agent name, write in your question. We'll keep it completely anonymous and we'll answer it as soon as possible. Thank you to Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song, Paper Stars.

And are you ready for this? Yes. This is a missed connections. Ooh. I was the dad of Trader Joe's. I was at the trader joe's today with my three kids the baby was grumpy and the big kids were asking for everything you gave me a sympathetic and understanding look i wish i got that kind of empathy from my wife you were also beautiful with short hair and no brow i was stunned yikes did she have a toe ring though was it curly hair is this her boy uh not great my man not great to be writing when you're married also don't mention when people don't wear bras either

they're doing it for themselves not for you it's true not for you with your three kids are the traitor joes uh my name is d Miller. And I'm Noss Bain. We've been your folk buddies.