F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 16 - Always Go Full Daddy

Episode Date: January 14, 2019

Oh, baby.  We cut the nonsense and get right into the dating and sex advice this week because it's 2019 and we're trying to be better podcast hosts.  You know, except when Niall refuses to wear headphones and yells the entire episode.  Topics include ghost Terrance Stamp porn, blueberry addiction, sabertooth lovebites, rebound relationships, that cowgirl grind, one night stand attempted murder, going full daddy and another rant about being cool about consent.

I put my trust in you, and I trust in love I put my trust in you, and I trust in love I put my trust in you, and I trust in love I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love Hello friends, my name is Dean Miller. And I'm Miles Payne. And we're your fuck buddies. What the fuck? That was the worst.

How are you guys? Hello. Guys. How are you? We just asked you a question. Oh. I guess no one listened this week. Oh.

Oh. Fuck. Well. What's the point in doing this? Yeah. My name is Dave Miller. And I'm Niles Spang. And we're your felt buddies.

Good night. Well, hey. So, initial apologies. If Niles too loud this episode, he refuses to wear headphones. I have headphones. They don't work, though. You gave me shit headphones. That's your fault.

I'm giving you another pair. You'd have to get up, squeeze past me in this small-ass closet, go get them, rub your dirty ear innards off mine. It'd be weird. Yeah. Hey, you're the one. If you tell me if it's a problem, maybe it'll be the first week you can actually hear me. Maybe. In the last week I can hear.

Good. I didn't even drink a drink with it. Hey, you fucking monster. Ew. You sound like a Coke commercial. I am a Coke commercial. Oh, fuck. But like cocaine.

I wonder why you're... Ah. Should we just get right into it? Let's just get right into it I feel like we wasted a lot of time last week Did we? What did we do last time? Oh, you got your fucking soundboard out, you ass No, don't fucking do it

I'm not ever going back to that soundboard I think you are Alright, I'm going to start this off Okay My 21-year-old female boyfriend Wait We're a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky sexy situations

and turn them into sexy sticky situations I'll continue uh we sex questions uh yeah me 21 year old female have a boyfriend 22 year old male

who can only come if I'm severely bloated our sex life has died before it's begun this is long but I think you need to you need to know most of it. Let's hear it.

My boyfriend watches animated blueberry porn, and it is one of the only ways for him to get him properly hard or to cum. Sometimes he watches inflation porn, but it doesn't do half as much as blueberry porn does for him. However, this has led to our sex lives being very clearly incompatible. He isn't bothered about sex all that much, but the process of inflation is the only thing that really excites him. Last time we did anything sexual,

I had to chug two liters of Coke and eat a whole packet of Mentos along with a liter of water. It was really uncomfortable for me, but it clearly made him happy, and he even managed to cum after a considerable amount of time. So I simply obliged. I can't perform oral on him, and he doesn't perform oral on me because it's not exciting and my stomach isn't in view, so he's basically turned off. However, even with all the bloating I do for him to make him happy, he will still close his eyes and try to imagine me as a

blueberry, something which I think is possibly going to have a really bad effect on our sex life, but it makes him happy, so I leave him be. He's even started learning Photoshop just so he can edit me into a blueberry. I'm worried this is going to change his perception of me and maybe in time he won't even be able to get hard because the expectation he has for the amount of bloating to happen but again it makes him happy so I don't say anything. We can't have sex without me being severely bloated which also comes with risks which I've mentioned many many times so no prevail and being in pain from the cramps. I've asked if he would ever be able to do anything sexual without me being bloated and the answer was no as he wouldn't be able to get hard and it wouldn't excite him. He mentioned that he finds me attractive even when I'm not bloated so I'm

confused. He suggests trying to stop masturbating to blueberry porn and try doing it to normal porn but I know it won't work and I don't want to change him to suit my needs. Despite all this we've been together for two months and those two months have been amazing. I won't do a lot for him but it simply stumps me. If anyone has any idea what I can do, please suggest. Thanks. So, uh, I don't know why this chick is being so selfish. Just dye yourself blue.

Yeah, I know. Fuck. Like, just get implants that make you the size no that's not the size of a that's not what blueberry porn is all about it's all about like getting bigger yeah the scene from Willy Wonka yeah that's fucked by the way uh I'm aroused by the like fucking scene of a child inflating and turning a different color. Terrific. Not here. Get the fuck out. Just so you know, my current Google history search is adhesive spittle in corporeal.

Terrence Stamp animated blueberry inflation. That's what I've recently searched on Google. That's what I've recently searched on Google. That's, uh, yeah. I love one of the comments is, two months? Run! And then the reply to that is don't run, roll. Now let's see

if I can make all my Google dreams come true and find ghost Terrence Stamp inflating a blueberry. I think this is our most thrilling second of podcasting we've ever had, listening to you type. Okay, here we go. I've typed in

Ghost Terrence Stamp, blueberry porn. Nope. Nope. Nothing. Well, I could have... I think I just broke... What is it? Rule 47 or whatever? Whatever you look up. Yeah. Maybe it's just deep, deep in the deep web. Yeah.

Just buried. It's not allowed on. Or we've just found a niche. Fuck this podcast. We'll make money selling ghost blueberry porn of this unknown actor. He's not unknown. It's Terrence Stamp. I think I know a man named after a thing you put on a fucking envelope.

I'm out of here. Anyway, to the question. There's a level of kink that you can put up with, question there's a level of kink that you can put up with and there's a level of kink that you just have to do because it's the right thing to do but like okay issues with this she's literally like that doesn't sound fun or healthy like fuck man can you imagine drinking two liters of coke a packet of mentos and a liter of water also doesn't mentos like explode when it touches coke yeah but it's like when it's in your stomach it just like because a lot of other things are interacting with it and the

coke's already been like fizzed up a little bit it just like creates gas yeah i mean just the idea of drinking two liters of coke makes me ill yeah and imagine like just being that full and being fucked have you yeah well it doesn't even like i don't know if they're even fucking right i think like is he just jerking it or maybe they, I don't know if they're even fucking, right? I think. Like, is he just jerking it? Or maybe they are. I don't know. Either way. That sounds fucking terrible.

Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, this is. Have you ever had sex when you really need to piss? Because that's the worst. Yeah. It's so bad. Like, yeah.

Yeah. No. This is terrible. And like, yeah. Kinks are kinks. Whatever. That's cool. But like, if you're refusing to give someone oral because you're like, well, I can't see

your stomach. Her oral isn't about you, bud. Fucking give it to her, you fucking asshole. Yeah, you don't need to be turned on to go down on someone. Exactly, right? Secondly, if it's that extreme, I don't know if it's a kink so much as it is a problem. Yeah, it sounds like a mental illness. Yeah, like, cool.

Be turned on by an... No, actually, it's's like like cool be be turned on by and no actually it's so fucking weird that you're turned on by a scene involving a child i think but you know what my favorite thing is is like before that movie came out and i'm talking like the gene wilder so it's like it's been a while um like there was someone sitting in that movie theater who was just like oh no no. Oh no. Shit. Yeah. And then like- No, they were like, oh yes.

Because they've never been able to get hired their entire life. Then they saw a child inflate to a blueberry and they were like, oh, did it. Yeah. And imagine just being like

chasing that high for the rest of your goddamn life. I know. Because the internet didn't exist back then. No, people don't spontaneously inflate and turn weird colors. Yeah.

So imagine explaining that to someone first. Do they get turned on by the Incredible Hulk as well? No, I think he's too... He's too angular. Yeah. If he was like

the Incredible Blob, maybe the Blob, the X-Men Supervillain. Or Blobby. Mr. Blobby. What the fuck? You know Mr. Blobby? Like from Bump in the Night?

No, Big Pink Mr. Blobby. No? You know who that is? He's like a nightmare vision. Welcome to our Google podcast. Oh, Jesus, yes. Yeah, Mr. Blobby. You know what?

To be fair, Mr. Blobby probably would do it for them. But like, I don't know. I think you'd have to see Mr. Blobby like become Mr. Blobby. He wouldn't just be a blob. He'd have to like... Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Dude, like blowing up balloons?

Does that get you? Either way. Okay. Two things. Well, yeah yeah i don't know dude like blowing up balloons does that get you either way okay okay two things well actually i don't know things so casual right now i know right i didn't realize this lean post was here until right now this podcast about to get a lot more chill i've never seen someone like relax more in a chair than it's a long zipper there it is he's flexing i'm like seven blueberries out of ten right now seven blueberries out of one because i think that's all it needs man we are just not doing well today maybe it's just because these headphones but we do not sound like we're doing well at all um but like one thing i want to mention like that, it's the best question we've ever had. Yeah. One of the things is like that's a very random thing, right?

Like for you to be in a movie theater and for someone to inflate and turn a different color and for you to be massively aroused by that, which leads me to believe there are still people out there that something like this is going to happen to them. And like, what is it? You know, there's like undiscovered. There's undiscovered blueberry porn where like something totally fucking out of nowhere is going to happen to them. And like, what is it? You know what I mean? There's like undiscovered. There's undiscovered blueberry porn where like something totally fucking out of nowhere is going to happen. And they're like, oh, yeah. Like maybe in the end of the Avengers. Spoiler warning.

When, you know, can I say it? Yeah. Fuck it. If you don't know what it is by now. Let's just say it involves dust. Or ash. Maybe people are like... Maybe people are like...

And they're going to be real sad in Avengers 2 when everyone's, you know, again. Or. Or. Suddenly, they're really into cremating. Oh. And we've made serial killers. Yeah. Yeah.

Or it's just like, hey, what'd you do with your pet? It died. What'd you do with David? that died what'd you do with David did they you just got that urn you seen David around on your mental place let me just

can I just borrow that two seconds okay back to the question like everything she yeah no there's like he seems like he's being very

he's he's kind of a piece of shit also seems like super controlling and manipulative. Yeah. Because she's putting herself in physical danger. And discomfort.

Yeah. She's receiving no pleasure out of this. Even when they do finally have sex, she's fucking like... In pain. Twice her size. Yeah. She's just drank like gallons of fucking soda. Yeah. She doesn't sound like she's doing anything.

And the fact that it's only been two months, and she's actually been like, hey, can we ever do stuff without me being blowed? And he's just like, nah. Yeah. And she's like, hey, how about I get oral? Nah. And the thing is, there's also... With a kink or a fetish as extreme as this,

it's usually a thing that escalates. You know what I mean? It's one of those things where this is what he's into now, but if he's to the point where this this has to happen or he cannot get aroused eventually he's going to become desensitized to like this version of it it's going to get worse need it more he's going to need you to like be three times the size like and you're just always going to be pushing it yeah so what's going to end up happening is like this poor girl's going to rip her stomach lining yeah or something you know what i mean or get diabetes because

you're drinking two fucking bottles of coke every time she wants to fuck yeah no it's one of those she's gonna lose her feet i don't care no how nice this dude is yeah no otherwise he's not nice if if he's literally like yeah no fuck your pleasure i'm like no it's i'm all for not kink shaming but you also shouldn't put yourself in uncomfortable positions or like relegate yourself to like a second class member of the relationship just for someone else's pleasure especially if they're not doing the same to you i wouldn't even say it's kink shaming well no but what i'm saying is i feel like a lot of people just once they hear something's a kink like it's the automatic thing to

like i can't say anything about it even if i criticize or if i don't agree with it or whatever that they're doing that right but like you're allowed care about your own pleasure and safety and comfort it's one thing if like if this was just like hey this is what we're into and you and i sat there being like look at these fucking weirdos you know yeah yeah no that's not cool but like it'd be it'd be like being in a like a dom sub relationship and the sub doesn't want to be in that. You know what I mean? Like if just like the Dom is just like,

I'm going to whip you now. And she's like, no, I don't, I'm not really into that. Yeah. And then he's just whips her anyway. Yeah.

And she's like, I guess we can do it this time, but how about we do something that's not that? And he's like, nope, that's abuse. Yeah. Just straight up.

Just get out of the relationship. It's not a good one. That's not healthy. And like, either he needs to work through this issue or he needs to find someone who that's their kink too yeah you know find yourself like a big girl um you know i mean like or or change it up because i know of someone or i know people who've been in situations like this they're similar but different so i know girls who've been really is it the guy who feeds you till you're like bulging uh no it's just it's

really different but kind of similar okay yeah no uh i i've known people who've been on like there's this guy to like take them out on like his kink is like i guess seeing like the swollen like stomach or belly or whatever he'll just take you out to a restaurant and pay for whatever the fuck you want to eat and just like watch you just go to go ham on like some ham or whatever you want then he just take you home and like hold your swollen belly and cuddle you it sounds like the best yeah i just like someone someone wants to go feed me they can touch my big belly after i eat a shit ton of food i mean yeah that's if yeah yeah that sounds way more fun than a butt on a diet coke and mentos If someone wants to go feed me, they can touch my big belly after I eat a shit ton of food. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. That sounds way more fun than a butt ton of Diet Coke and Mentos. If everyone's on board, fucking go to, like, Swollen Town all you want. Swole. Swoleage. It's the village. Swole. I don't know.

But, yeah, no. Inflation Nation. This is not for me. Yeah, no. You're clearly not having fun. So if you're going to the internet about it, it's probably time to say bye. Yeah. Also, like, anyway, don't just say bye. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Get out. Care about your pleasure. Care about your safety. Care about your comfort. And also care about someone who cares about you because it doesn't sound like this guy does. Yep. All right, your turn.

Okay. This comes off Reddit from user DownwardDoormouse, and I'm assuming she? Yeah. Well, I don't know. I'm assuming she. Wow. Did you just assume their gender? I did.

Yeah. It could be anyone, to be honest. They ask, cannot give a love bite for the life of me. Not going to waffle. The situation is that I have one wonky tooth, like an overbite, but that just like a singular tooth from an accident when I was an ankle biter. And that is what might be stopping the suction. Couldn't find anything about this anywhere online.

There must be people in the world, probably England, in the same boat as me. I've been trying on myself when I can't see them and nothing, not a zilch. Just want to munch on them. So pretty please let me know all about your hickey endeavors and advice. Well, firstly, this person clearly does not understand suction. Yeah. Like the teeth are... Is a love bite the same as a hickey yeah okay because i've never heard it called that before yeah no love bites and hickeys firstly like what fucking age are you because hickeys should be long gone by now if you can use the internet if you're old enough to have fingers long enough to type no hickeys anymore yeah if you're old enough to throw some shade at england yeah teeth you if you're slagging england no hickeys for you like come on it's

they're the worst but she really wants some munch on them well firstly she said she won't waffle and that's the only way to do it you got a waffle you do get a waffle honestly i thought that's what she meant at the start like not gonna waffle like as if that's an alternate way to do it she's like that's cheating i refuse to waffle want a hickey, but not the waffle method. Nope, I'm going to go OG. Not that waffle method. You just use your lips. That's where you get the suction.

It's not from your teeth. Do they just leave with the teeth and just like... You don't know how big this tooth is. Maybe she can't close her mouth. Or her lips. Yeah. Maybe it's just like full out Maybe it's like saber tooth tiger stuff Then you double down

You just dig it in And be like love bite Yeah Give him a love gouge Yeah Make your signature move Round it down So it's not a point

No sharpen it No no no Because then you're piercing Exactly I think he has a bruise Yeah but double down Make it your own thing. Make your signature love pierce.

Yeah. Okay. Right? Which is also Pierce Brosnan's love podcast that we're rivals of. Fuck you, love Pierce. Come on for your crown. Okay, if your tooth is that big, get it out of there. Just get rid of it.

Or, like, get rid of half of it. You got tooth to spare. Yeah. I doubt it's that big, though, because I don't think that's humanly possible. Get a straw. Get a... You know what? When he's not looking, turn on the vacuum cleaner.

Yeah. Right? That's what you should do. Get your vacuum cleaner. Hold it to your arm. Pull it off. Then go... Wait.

What if this is the girl who gave her boob a hickey? Oh shit. No. She can't give hickeys but that's the thing what if she finally got there maybe what if this was posted before the other one and this is how it happened this was i found this like today well i'm sorry she still cheated on you bud um take him to the dentist and they get that little suction thing while he's like while he's under from oh shit yeah just be like wow we went to we went to the dentist and then get that little suction thing while he's like, while he's under from... Oh, shit. Yeah, and just be like,

wow, we went to, we went to suction town and you weren't even... Suction Junction and you weren't even... You don't remember? I don't know. And then get really offended

and be like, I'm never going to do it again. If you're not going to fucking have the decency to goddamn remember me sucking on your flesh, it's not going to happen again, David. No, you blew it.

David? David? David, you sit down in that fucking chair and you listen when I talk to you. You look at those bruises. You look at them because they're the last ones you're ever going to fucking have, David. Okay? Put on this mask. Put on this plastic mask and inhale deeply. Yeah.

Now spit in this thing. Why is it the exact shape of my arm? Shut up, David. You lost the right to question me. Yeah, David. Just use your fucking lips. Yeah, I David. You lost the right to question me. Yeah, David. Just use your fucking lips. Yeah, I don't... That's where the suction happens. Yeah, I imagine this is from

a very young person who's never had a hickey. Maybe. They probably, like, see a hickey and they're just like, how do I get in there? How do I get on that? You just, like...

See, I'm so torn right now. It's so simple. Do we teach people how to hickey i don't think we should or do we not teach people to stop people from hickey i think if hickeys died if hickeys died like if we lost like if in the 28 years people are like oh this lost art like how do we rediscover it i'd be okay with that no you know what would happen we'd get like the tide pod version of hickeys where people are like sticking their teeth in people. No, they just hickey each other so badly that like they're dying.

They're like, let's hickey our arteries. I hear it's great if you hickey someone's eye and their eye just like bonk. Yeah, I don't know. Hickeys need to die. I mean like when you're 12. They're fun. You know what I mean? You like show them to school.

You rock up with your big ass hickey neck yeah that was pretty fun but then like the second you're a fucking yeah i think over the age of 15 nah yeah i don't think you're allowed to do them anymore sorry guys so to answer your question you put your mouth on their fucking skin and you suck i don't know why you would want to but that's how you do it it's pretty easy and like you can do a big one you can have a big o of a mouth you can do like a little small precise one if you tighten those lips you know it's not it's not necessarily about the teeth whatsoever no it's about the teeth don't like just because it's called love bite well like the teeth come into it because you're they're in your mouth and you're sucking but that's about it like as in they're gonna get pressed up against there yeah but like that's that's all but just don't okay hit me with a good question oh my god uh i started seeing somebody who has just come out of

a three-year relationship which ended when she was cheated on i'm also out of a relationship recently but i do like this girl i want to keep seeing her how do i proceed and this is from agent ku cullen um don't cheat on her yep don't do that that's rule number one well like they're not like you know officially dating they're like just mad they're seeing each other i feel like it's one of the really good times because like if she wasn't fresh out of a relationship and hadn't had this bad experience but you were fresh out of a relationship and hadn't had this bad experience but you were fresh out of a relationship your needs and your expectations might be different right like they might be ready for a relationship but you're not because you're just out of one so that can usually lead to disaster and vice versa if you weren't freshly out of a relationship but they were your expectations

might be different because again you might expect a relationship or want one sooner than they do but you guys are both in that time where you need space but it's always good to have somebody so you get to kind of do the good stuff as in like just you're both on the same page do we know that they are in what sense um neither of them want a relationship right now. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Depending on how his relationship ended, like, it might be important to stress and be like, yo, just take your time. You know what I mean? Like, just restate that, like, she can take her space, take a time, be like, I'm interested in you and like I'm happy to pursue whatever this is. But like you're in a vulnerable place and the second someone, especially like if you've been cheated on, you kind of have like your self-worth is usually at a lower end of the spectrum.

And your walls are definitely off. So like to find someone who is awesome and and like you have a good connection with you you might do the opposite of what you're saying and like you might just be like jump in maybe you're ready you know what i mean because like you already feel like shit because this person that was supposed to care about you has betrayed you and that usually like i know when i was cheated on like i like i felt like shit and I felt like less of a person. So, like, to get that sort of attention and validation and care from someone might be detrimental to the recovery process. In a romantic sense, like, to find support from other people.

It's just like, I'm worried that someone would... They'll just latch on too right and then like and then there's no none of the the past will be processed and dealt with they're just going from feeling like shit to finding someone who doesn't feel make them feel like shit in the now yeah and then like and then all that stuff like all that stuff is still there you know what i mean it's like i know it never goes away yeah but like until you can sort of like bury that and like in in your way sort of forgive or at least like move on from the past betrayal because like there's no there's no chance that like or there is a chance of of like moving into something too quickly and then you're like so you're saying always gonna have that thing being like oh maybe he's gonna cheat on me too

so you're saying instead of like not that being with somebody might not let them process it you're saying that instead of what i said where they both don't want like a relationship it might be the opposite and that once they do find something good it's going to be so good they're going to like dig in yeah okay that's that's true you know and i think that uh like in both cases what we're saying is that like communication is really important oh now I think that, like, in both cases, what we're saying is that, like, communication is really important. Oh, now I remember. I know that's, like, our answer to everything, but, like. Yeah, but the thing is, communication is different in different situations.

I think in this one, you both need to be clear, because I think when it came up between them, it was, she was worried that he would be expecting something else or would be upset that she was just out of a relationship and wanted to take some time. Yeah. But he's in the same boat, and, like like i think they're both worrying about each other even though they all seem to want the same goal and i think like be clear and be like look that's what i want if that's what you want perfect like let's do this let's have fun i i like you and we can see where it goes but like for now let's just have fun and that's what you need after all that shittiness right um and also being very clear about where you are in the situation will help because if you've been cheated on and then he is dating at the same time it's very possible they might get upset or jealous and being clear about your situation is i think essential in that regard

because you don't want her to think you guys are, like, seeing each other and then bump into you with a different girl, which is going to hurt, like, eight times more now as a result of before. Yeah. So I think communication is super key. upsetness is that like if they act like irrationally or like yeah if they kind of like go off about something or get really jealous or whatever like two things one you have to kind of like understand where they're coming from because if you if they're coming out of a relationship like you can expect that obviously it's going to hit a sore note but also i think you need to be pretty firm on your stance in that regard so like if somebody is unfairly jealous or like whatever about something, as much as you might understand where it comes from, like I don't think you should just like brush

it under the table and let it go. Yeah. I think you should be like, look, I don't think that's appropriate. And I say this because I've seen and I've been in relationships where like the longer you let a problematic behavior kind of slide, the harder it is to change your stance on it. And later on, if you're like, you know what, this whole you being super jealous for no reason thing isn't cool. Then because they've been doing it for so long, they like flip and they're so angry. Whereas like if at the start they're like, hey, you're hanging out with this girl who's like been your friend for 10 years or whatever.

And you're like, look, I get where you're coming from, but girl who's like been your friend for 10 years or whatever and you're like look i get where you're coming from but like that's not cool instead of just being like oh i'm sorry and brushing it away then either they're not gonna they're gonna be like i can't be in a relationship like this in which case you've saved yourself time and effort or they're gonna be like oh you're right and stop i feel like if you let problematic behaviors like that go on it can be pretty bad yeah and don't don't be afraid to like pump the brakes because i know um when my girlfriend and i first met uh she just got out of a really bad relationship and i was like still reeling from my past relationship and there was a there was a time where like we had uh opportunities to do things uh in like a physical nature and i was just like

you know what like let's just wait i was like and i actually like And I was just like, you know what? Like, let's just wait. I was like, and I actually like told her, I was like, take some time. Like you're just out of a relationship, take a breather. And then, you know what I mean? Like when you think you've processed things enough, like, let me know and we'll go for a drink. Um, and I think like, honestly, I think that was one of the best decisions i made even though i was like super attracted to and i like i really wanted to progress things um i think having sort of the foresight to allow people time yeah uh and like yeah there's a chance that it might bite you in the ass and she might move on or realize that she doesn't want to engage in like a sexual relationship this soon after but it's like that's good then you're helping someone you know i mean so like try to try to also remember that like again i'm not presuming that

this guy is just in it for the sex but like remember that uh you're both in like sort of a vulnerable place and if if you help in the recovery process in any sort of sense, yeah, any way, you've done a good thing. Yeah. And like he's not like in just like in it for that. Yeah. No. Again, I assume if like if it's a listener. Yeah.

They're probably on the up. And there's nothing wrong with being in it just for sex once you're clear about it right but um yeah and i think like you know just it's one of those things where like as well as giving them time give yourself time like there there is no rush on any of this shit like so if you're if you guys are having fun and you're like yeah just take it as it comes yeah right and be honest like if you start to feelings or if she does like make it clear with each other that you will like you know keep each other updated and keep each other like honest on those things because it's if you get too settled in like oh we're being chill but then one of you

changes your perspective that's gonna be i think where the danger lies um and just like you know if that does happen you should have like just be aware that you can talk to each other about it and work again from there. Like take it as it comes. Yeah. Um, if, if ever there's a conversation where she's talking about, um, being angry or upset at like being cheated on, um, something that really helped me get through like those emotions was the realization that like they did me a favor in the sense that like uh now that like once i figured out the relationship was over yeah um and like i could not have figured found out and wasted more time exactly um so it was one of those things where i just i constantly reminded myself just been like you know what as bad as it was it could have been worse because i could have been

played longer yeah or like you could have there's always that next step right that you could have been played longer. Yeah. Or like you could have, there's always that next step, right? That you could have been like married and then found out. You could have like bought a home together and then found out. You could have had kids and then found out, you know? Yeah.

Like there's always, it always could have gotten worse. So like as bad as it is, you've dodged the bullet and like take a breath and be like, phew, move on, you know? And in terms of jealousy, like we've talked about it before

where jealousy is it's a normal human emotion you know what i mean like it's it's not completely uh irresponsible to feel you're not it's not even wrong to feel it's it's how you act on yeah exactly it's like every other emotion it's like how you process it and then how you exhibit it or what you do with it afterwards so like um if she is getting jealous or you find yourself getting jealous or anyone's getting jealous, ask yourself the question, why am I jealous? Yeah. And then ask yourself, am I doing the same thing? And also ask yourself if it's fair, right?

Yeah. Like if you're just jealous of someone who has a friend who's a guy or a girl, like is that fair? Like on you, is it fair on them? It helped me so much asking those two questions because like one of those things where it's just like, why that fair? Like on you, is it fair on them? Like, it helped me so much asking those two questions. Cause like one of those things where it's just like, why am I jealous? And it's like, Oh, they're spending time with a guy that's not me. And then I'd be like, am I doing this? It's like, yeah, I'm seeing other women. Yeah. Do I have a right to be jealous? Absolutely not. Like I don't, I don't. And it's like, and I think those two questions is a nice like

progress up to, Oh, I'm being stupid. Yeah, exactly. And like always try to put yourself in their shoes. I, I feel like it's stupidly obvious advice, stupid yeah exactly and like always try put yourself in their shoes i i feel like it's stupidly obvious advice but i also feel like not a lot of people do it yeah you know just like think of shit from their perspective you know but like i honestly think this is a really good situation because like it's kind of like a good way for both you guys to just like heal and have fun and like you're both sound like great people so yeah you know just fucking enjoy it i think that's the most important thing is like enjoy it but make sure like you're clear be clear and enjoy it that's it yeah and like like i said like it doesn't have to necessarily end in a relationship between you guys but like if you guys but it could rekindle

or at least like reaffirm that there are good people out there and rebuild sort of that faith in yeah in the world and humanity then you guys have done a good job yeah and also like there's nothing there's something so beautiful i find about like when you have these like short relationships with people or even like longer ones but like maybe they weren't the most serious but like you're still friends with them and like you always had that like super nice like shared moments and like you just transition seamlessly into being like friends or like friendly and it's kind of great you know yeah there are those kind of people you'll bump into and you'll just be like be like a nice warm moment so yeah just have fun with it all right hit me

uh this comes from reddit user uh reddit user she now oh is she though i guess i guess she's then or she now um oh it's not even she going soft when she's on top recently been seeing this girl and had sex a few times over the most recent occasions i've noticed that when she's on top, clit-sensitive motions, I start to go soft. I don't remember having this issue in the past. Any advice or past stories? Is he terrified she's going to break it? So what I'm thinking is when he says clit-sensitive motions is like there's no up and down. Yeah, she's doing the like the grind

that yeah she's just sort of like moving back and forth on it which is like great for her but yeah i'm in the same sense like i get nothing out of that i will say the amount of times i've come from someone being on top is like i could probably count them on like two hands yeah if not one like that's why when i like started having sex when was younger, I loved it when they go on top because I'd, like, feel nothing. And I'd be like, cool. Yeah. Guess who's not coming early this time? Yeah.

I mean, like, my girlfriend is the only person that I, like, could regularly make that happen for me. Before her, it was just sort of like, okay. Yeah. This is your time. You go to town. Yeah. And you let to town and you let me know when you're done yeah because uh i'll just be down here i totally get it and i don't

think i don't think a lot of people realize that yeah i mean like if if i'm like helping thrusting sure yeah then it's it's enjoyable but that's just like basically a more difficult version of like other sex. Yeah. More labor intensive. Yeah. But like if she's if she's on top and doing sort of like the. Yeah. The grinding back and forth sort of situation or like any sort of like circular motions are just kind of like there's really nothing going on.

And that's cool. You know what I mean? Like. But I guess maybe it's happening for so long for this guy that like. Yeah. what i mean like but i guess maybe it's happening for so long for this guy that like yeah um so i guess for him advice wise is either communicate this to the person so that they don't spend too long you know what i mean like maybe just be like hey just that heads up like i don't get very much stimulation and like you know um but also maybe do the like the thrusting up motion to a degree

like get in on it so that like, while they're still doing their thing, you contribute a bit. Yeah. Or what you can do is like tell her to save that for when she's close. Exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean? So like you, if you're in sort of like, you know, legs up hip thrusting while she's on

top and you guys are both sort of contributing to the, to the exercise. Um, and then when, if she feels like she's, she's getting top and you guys are both sort of contributing to the yeah to the exercise um and then when if she feels like she's needs she's getting there yeah then cool you know what i mean put the legs down let her go let her go yeah exactly and like you know a minute of that versus the whole session being that isn't going to be an issue right um and then like again if you if you feel yourself losing it be like hey can we switch, like, can we go back to me thrusting? Can we... Because, like, the alternative is, like, no more sex.

You know what I mean? Like, or... Or you're cutting out something that they clearly enjoy. I would hope. I mean, like, if she's like, no, we're not switching. I'm going to stay like this. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And you go soft. It's like... And I'm sure, like, nobody... Then nobody's getting nothing. But also, nobody enjoys it when someone goes soft because, like, they're going to stay like this yeah you know what i mean and you go soft it's like i'm sure like nobody also nobody enjoys it when someone goes soft because like they're gonna feel like a piece of shit and also the girl doesn't feel the best right nobody wants that i know that's what and there's yeah so if you're just like you know i mean even if you just sort of like we need to switch positions you don't necessarily you know i mean if she knows about the problem um beforehand and you're just like we need to switch positions, hopefully she'll get the cue and be like, okay, cool. Like, I understand that like this is sort of the do or die moment.

I think you got to be like careful in that you don't want her, like you don't want to sound like it's her fault. Like, I don't get anything from this. Like, I don't feel like, just be like, it's just a thing. Like, it's not me. It's a lot of people. You can put it on the podcast. We agree. A lot of the time it's like a thing like it's it's not me it's a lot of people you can put around the podcast we agree a lot of the time it's like yeah no sorry um it's just the way dicks are built yeah so it's just like you know and that's cool it's not it's not your fault

Claire you're good but you just gotta shake it up a little okay I 20 year old male had sex for the first time in a one-night stand and she choked me out, had sex for the first time in a one-night stand, and she choked me out? Oh no. I had sex for the first time yesterday in a drunken one-night stand. I only met this girl at the club, but we started talking in the smoking area and hit it off. So we made out and brought her back to my place at uni. Anyway, as soon as we get back, she gets on top of me and starts riding me. As she's riding me, she starts choking me for some reason with one hand, and I start losing air.

Then she leans down and covers my mouth with the other. Jesus. At this man. No. they usually this kinky why would she want to choke me is this normal i'm still trying to process this oh man no yeah that's like choking is part of sex for some people but not like that in terms of one you ask two you don't do it to a stranger and three you don't literally like just cut off the fucking air and like i think she might have tried to kill you. Yeah, that sounds like attempted murder, my dude. I think you coming is the only thing that saved you. She was trying to kill you, and she got weirded out that you still came. She was like, wait, is he enjoying this?

Fuck, it's not murder anymore. I mean, to be fair, if he came, he might be into it. It's his first time having sex. He was coming regardless. I guess. Should have looked at a nail gun. I don't know, man. Started pumping it through his first time having sex he was coming regardless i guess should have got a nail done start pumping it through his like if fucking pectorals choking me i don't know if i and like i wasn't into it i don't know if i'd be able to come first time yeah maybe nothing will stop with

me um this i think this brings up a good point and like I'm going to try to really walk the line here and not sound men's rights-y. But women are really bad with consent. Like, real fucking bad. To the point where like... Well, because they're never told to think about it in terms of anybody else but themselves, right? Yeah. And rarely are they told no. Yeah.

I've had to kick girls out of my house because they like just wouldn't listen like I hate people touching my nipples that you do actually like I don't I get nothing from it I get nothing but like vague irritation like to the point where like it's it's unpleasant like it's not wildly but it's like like can you not yeah it's like you might as well just be sort of like licking my elbow right now because like I've got the same. I'm going to enjoy it more if you were licking my elbow. Yeah.

So there was this girl who would like constantly like pinch my nipples and I was like, not into that. I'm also really not into like sharp pain, like sharp, immediate pain. Um, a lot of people aren't, I mean, a lot of people are though. Um, so I was just like oh like not into that and she's like oh okay and then like two seconds later we do it again i'm like okay you need to like fucking relax um and she would do it like four or five more times to the point where like i was getting so frustrated that like my dick was just like of course i'm not into this

and then she was like why are you soft and? And like acute, like sort of blamed me. And I was like, cause you remember the time I said I didn't like the thing that you were doing. Yeah. And then you incessantly did it. And then you repeatedly did it. That's why my, I was like, it would be the same way if like, if you didn't like something that I was doing and I just kept doing it and being like, why aren't you wet?

Why aren't you soaking wet right now? Yeah. It's like, it's the exact same fucking thing. Like I'm causing you physical discomfort and you keep asking me not to do it. Why aren't you wet? Why aren't you soaking wet right now? Yeah. It's like, it's the exact same fucking thing. Like I'm causing you physical discomfort and you keep asking me not to do it. Why aren't you turned on? Yeah. Like imagine if a girl was like, Oh,

I'm not even being spanked. And then I just proceeded just to keep spanking. It's like, it's, it's fucked. But like, I've rarely met girls who like actually stopped doing the thing that you asked them to stop doing. Yeah.

Well, I've had like kind of a similar, well, kind of a different issue, but like where someone's like, Hey, can I come over? And I'm like,

yeah, totally. Just a heads up though. Like I'm in work tomorrow. So like, you know, I like to, like I,

I find a hard sleeping of someone else in the bed. Yeah. So like, you know, I also don't really know you that well. Like I've been sleeping with you a few times. So like, yeah,

I come over, but like I've worked, so you're gonna have to head home if that's cool if not like we'll hang out another time they're like yeah it's cool then they'll come over and they won't leave yeah and i'm like hey like when's your like last subway's coming up they're like oh it's cool it's cool and then that happens i'm like oh i don't want to get a taxi and i'm like i'm not gonna kick you out but at the same time we literally were through this i've asked you to leave i've asked you to the subway you haven't now you're making me feel guilty for making you get a taxi which i'm not gonna do so now you're

happily changing into my pajamas getting into my bed and i'm like i don't want you here and i've literally told you yeah that's not even i don't want you because i don't like you it's uh i would like to sleep before work which i fucking told you yeah yeah um so i guess I guess like our plea, like one, just in general, like before you do an extreme sex maneuver, like a vaguely anything puts anyone like either in physical harm, whether it's a pleasurable harm or not, like a spank, you can give like a test, a very light test spank and then be like, like hey do you like that yeah um and again like you can you can very gently like put your hand sort of like under the throat but not over it um because i know a lot of people like a lot of women are also like immediately triggered by that kind of stuff because well that's the thing you got to be really careful with that and i think especially like if you are a guy you have to be very careful as a stranger to just put your hand on someone's throat yeah because they're in a vulnerable position so i think just like i don't think it's weird to ask hey choking can i do it because like it's weirder to just choke somebody

because you can literally kill somebody yeah and i'm not saying that you're going to but i'm saying like but if you don't know it's like knife play it's like the knife play girl yeah you know what i mean like it's not weird to be like hey well maybe it is but what i'm saying is it's weirder if you just pull a knife on somebody yes um and choking someone like it is a very it's a very like volatile thing it's a very serious thing just just fucking ask it's yeah exactly it's it's it's what people do to kill other people exactly also like imagine if you went up someone on the street and just grabbed their neck you'd probably be thrown in jail or like at least punched like if it's that bad like i don't you're not too that many steps away on a one-night stand you don't really know somebody and they don't

really know if you're doing it sexually or if they're trying to kill you which this girl sounds like she might have been doing yeah um and like and the thing is like you flip the script on this if that was a guy and a girl oh it'll be fucked like people would lose their goddamn mind yeah and rightfully so exactly um so i guess the the point of this tangent is like just you know consent know, consent. If someone's saying, hey, don't do that thing. I don't like it. Don't. In terms of a lot of different things. And also, if you're going to do anything that strays from like the very immediate norm,

you just fucking ask. Yeah. You know, like you don't want to, like, if the choice is between asking and maybe taking a second in the middle of all your sexy times or, you know, making someone think you're trying to kill them, maybe asking is the better option. Yeah. And if you're worried that, like, something bad is going to come from you asking to do something. That's probably a good sign you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't fucking do it.

Yeah. Like, if you're like, oh, they might think I'm fucking weird if I ask if I can choke them. They're going to think you're weird if you you're actually doing it you know what i should do just choke them yeah like exactly fucking crazy and if someone's like oh you asked permission you suck then you did yourself a favor that person sucks yeah um but back to the more media question is a normal thing that happens not necessarily no i mean i think choking at this day and age is fairly common yeah like it's not uncommon like i'm not like whoa choking but at the same time i don't think it's like you can just expect to be choked all the time yeah no this situation is is definitely not yeah it's it's a possibility i don't think it's the norm at all

uh our one night stands usually this kinky now, it's like you can get any kind of level. Um, why would she want to choke me? Maybe you just got that face, man. Yeah. Do you look like Joffrey? Yeah. Cause like I choke him. Um, I guess either it's a dominance thing from her or some people enjoy to be choked.

Like it heightens pleasure. Hence why a lot of people die during auto,erotic asphyxiation yeah so maybe she was just trying to do it for you is this normal not no and also i think if it is it shouldn't be no this is a an example of how it should not be done so i just you know be aware that like if someone starts something like this you're allowed to tell them to stop um and also just be be careful guys with consent about a lot of things yeah and girls too that involves you as well yeah the consent isn't a one-way street it's not just like lady consent town yeah like you you kind of need our permission to do things to us as well yeah and i guess like the reason why that's

not as focused on is because guys are the fucking worst with it. And it's a lot like, we're not denying the seriousness of that issue. Oh yeah. And we're not saying we're just, you know, just a little addendum of also you guys. It's just one of those things that like no one really talks about. No. You know what I mean?

Like no one. No one has ever talked to me about that. Yeah. No one, like no guy ever really is like hey you know it's kind of fucked up this girl just like went to town on my nipples yeah or i was in the bar and this girl just shoved her hand down my trousers oh yeah like what would happen to us pretty much every fucking time we go out i've had that happen too many times i was once called a faggot by like eight girls when i was like hey can you tell your friend to stop fucking shoving her hands down my fucking pants?

Yeah. And they're like, why? You don't like girls? I was like, I'm super into girls. You know what I'm not into? Like, sexual assault. Yeah. To the point where they then almost got me kicked out of the bar by the bouncer.

Yeah, it was fucked. I was there being like, what? I'm sorry. Excuse me. And like, we weren't even talking to this girl. I just kept coming up and groping her. Yeah. I was like, can you not?

Yeah. I think it was probably like the first time someone didn't, like she just came up to me and we were dancing and then like tried to kiss me and I was like, oh, well, that's a little fast because I was also getting like crazy vibes off her.

And you were also talking to another girl. Yeah. And then like five minutes later, she came up behind me again while I was talking to someone else and shoved her fucking hands down my pants and grabbed like everything. And it wasn't like, it wasn't like a playful front of the pants, like down my pants, skin to skin contact.

Which again would be like jail time. Oh yeah. If I did that to her. Yeah. Like a bouncer would take me outside and beat the shit out of me. I had the girl who was holding hands with a guy like slide past me and as she did do like this big cup and squeeze and like wink and just keep going i'm like you're holding another dude's hand and also what the

fuck and every time she passed she'd do it and like at one point she comes the same thing just slides her hand right down there and i'm like what the fuck yeah i'm like i'm like what are you doing she's just like giggle and run away i'm like that's not cute it's not fun no like fuck off i mean there was that time i think we were pretty drunk because like i remember we went to that shitty bar in kensington oh yeah and some girl kept slapping my ass and i like turned around and ended up like drunkenly lecturing her and all of her friends about consent for like five minutes because i was fucking pissed because i was just like what are you doing yeah it's just like none of them and like everyone was just laughing i was

like stand up right now. And I'm like, me and my friends are going to sit here. Oh, I think it was just with you. Yeah. I was like, and we're going to slap your ass every time you walk past and tell me that's fucking hilarious. Yeah. And it's not. It's not cute.

It's not funny. It's also annoying because like, what's shitty about the situation is whenever you are like, hey, stop this. Or like, you pull their hand from your trousers or whatever. You look like violent. You look aggressive. Right. And you don't want to do that. Right.

You don't want to be like grabbing someone and pulling their hands off you because ironically it looks like you're doing something to them. So you don't want to like raise your voice or lay hands on them or anything, but then you're just stuck in this shitty position where you can't really do anything, you know? And if you do anything, you... Anyway.

And the thing is, like, the second anyone calls you on it, if someone comes over and is like, hey, why are you yelling at the girl? And you're like, well, she grabbed my dick. And they're like, yeah, what's the problem with that? You're like, oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah.

I'm like, oh, sorry, I'll just let her go to town. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Tangent City. Just, guys, stop that. Stop. Everyone just be cool.

Be cool. Consent. Yeah. For everyone. For everyone. Yeah. tangent city just guys stop that stop everyone just be cool be cool consent everyone for everyone yeah your turn this comes from reddit users stop talking 839 how many stop talkings are there how to use daddy without feeling embarrassed the guy i'm with likes being called daddy and i can't see myself saying it without laughing how do y'all use that phrase in a sexual context? How do you like it being used? Also, other pet names you use would be helpful. Trying to broaden my horizons here. She notes that she's a 24-year-old female.

She thinks it's hot as hell, but really not her jam. What? If it's not her jam, how does she think it's hot as hell? I think maybe she doesn't think that she could pull it off. Okay. You know what I mean? Two things. One, we have a friend we all call Daddy hang out with us for like three days or just become

Facebook friends and you'll just start being able to use Daddy all the time. Yeah, no problem. To be fair, we do say it with a smile on our face, so. Well, it's because you can't not smile around this guy. It's true. But also like, I don't think i've ever been able to say it before that without being super weird because it's a strange thing i think what you gotta do you gotta shake up the language like hi poppy so i was just about to say um in like defense of her

thinking it's hot and like there's only certain girls who could say like who could call me poppy and be and i wouldn't be like huh you know what i mean like if my girlfriend tried to call me poppy i'd be like what are you doing yeah well i don't know i've actually never had somebody call me daddy and i'm okay with that i've had a very small handful of women who did and i'll tell you right now like one of them pulled it off i think it'd be really weird i think i'd be like oh god and then like every time it happened so like there it was it was sort of like the middle you know what i mean like number three had done it and was just like oh my like and i don't think i've ever fucked anyone that hard before um that's not true um but you know what i mean like i was just like you yeah it works you were doing it

right yeah um but like you gotta have those eyes and you'll be looking up while you do it i don't know yeah i don't i think Yeah, I don't know. I think it's commitment. I think you got to just like sort of. Well, that's the thing. You can't kind of be like, daddy. Thanks, dad. Thanks, dad.

Like you just gave him pocket money. Yeah. You got to commit. That's the thing. There's no half daddies. Yeah. You got to go full daddy. You got to go full daddy.

Like 100 OP, like too fast, full daddy. You gotta go full daddy. Like one hundo P, like too fast, too daddy. Just like get in there. Um, yeah. And I think, I think what would help,

like if, if this is a recurring partner, which it sounds like it is, uh, throw it out there. And I think the second you see what it does to him, you're going to like the power that, yeah,

I think it'll be one of those things where, uh, where you'll immediately be like, Oh shit. Like that's what happens when I do that. But yeah, him you're gonna like the power that yeah i think it'll be one of those things where uh where you'll immediately be like oh shit like that's what happens when i do that but yeah i can't afford with that so i think a lot of the awkwardness stems from the fact that like there's me like there's very relevant meaning behind it you know what i mean whereas if you change the language it kind of distances you so like mon père oh my a her my a her that's irish no yeah i don't think any of those things oh yeah man again like if you're french maybe but my pair yeah if someone said that to me i would be like oh god do i need to give you a cigarette what is happening si vous plait mon père commit

commit to the daddy yeah 100pd a-d-d-y daddy him up changes facebook like

messenger name to daddy to acclimatize yourself to it um you know what what you can also do is uh record a couple snapchats get some practice you know what what you can also do is record a couple snapchats

get some practice you know what I mean and like do it and if it doesn't feel right do it again call him pops call him your old man yeah

just use a different word right daddy's not working like what up pops papa parent daddy papa pop

poppy pappy pappy ooh fuck me pappy just paps fuck me ancestor begetter begetter forbearer origin padre predecessor padre procreator progenitor fuck me progenitor fuck me progenitor it sounds like you're fucking a transformer source source fuck me source

be like a techno fuck me head of the house oh fuck me male parent please please can you only I'm like 100%

seriously just call them male parent for the rest please please please do it for me

what else I think that's it everything else after this is uh for fuck me boy mom for lord who which uh i'd take lord any day oh man let me tell you i went to uh medieval times and i was very drunk and it was a 2 p.m and i don't think i've ever been more turned on by a stranger than when the the server came by and called me my lord oh no and i was just like and then hands you a fucking lego yeah and then she was just like here's a fucking slab of meat yeah that's the dream oh boy i don't know but like all of her like sort of and I know this is like a subservient kind of fetish thing hair happening

and I'm aware of that people you don't have to fucking tell me that's cool don't at me please do and yeah it just

it got me going that's fair that's fair that's my medieval time story okay we should wrap this boy up fuck me boy mom I think we're done yeah

I think that's I think that's gonna to end us for this evening. I hope you had a wild ride. Speaking of wild ride, you got some bad sex writing for us? I will say, I have found bad sex writing compilations for the previous few years.

It turns out it's actually an award. So our white god come, come, come person actually won this year. I was apparently quite humble about it. Because apparently it's a trend where people who win get real salty and bitchy and go off on the Guardian for awarding them it. And I think that's fucking hilarious. Yeah.

You ready? Nope. Okay, comfy. Okay, I'm good. This is the tobacconist, my Robert Seathaller. He closed his eyes and heard himself make a gurgling sound. And as his trousers slipped down his legs, all the burdens of his life to date seemed to fall away from him.

He tipped back his head and faced up into the darkness beneath the ceiling, and from one blessed moment, he felt as if he could understand the things of this world and all their immeasurable beauty how strange they are he thought life and all of these things then he felt a nesca slide down before him to the floor felt her hands grab his naked buttocks and draw him near to her come sunny boy he heard her whisper and with a smile, he let go. Now, before we move on from that, could you... Please call somebody Sonny Boy. Can you reread that last little section with one of our suggestions?

Oh, yeah. Then he felt Anezka slide down before him to the floor, felt her hands grab his naked buttocks and draw him to her. Come, Padre, he heard her whisper and with a smile he let go just sounds like she's fucking a priest yeah i wish it was a category on pornhub of people just like calling their lovers weird shit and like their reactions uh i thought there was going to be ghost Terrence Stamp blueberry porn. Maybe there is. You don't know. That's true. I've got a lot of

homework to do today guys. Wow. I just tried to scroll through a screenshot. That was real good to me.

Nice. All right. Well thank you everyone for listening. We love you guys. If you can please pass us on to a friend.

We're trying to get more peeps in. More peeps means more questions means more giggles and more information for you boys and girls. It's true. And everything everything in between yeah um also if you haven't already and you're feeling like you need to do something uh positive in the new year uh go to itunes and leave us a

comment and rate and review us because we still need those as many as you can give us um yeah that's true uh so if you're if you're feeling feeling generous hit us with a five-star review and uh leave us a little review of why you listen to us yeah that'll be really really great um if you have a question and you desperately need our advice you can send us an email at fbuddiespodcast at gmail.com you can hit us up on twitter at fck underscore buddies or you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash fck buddies podcast. Thank you, Josh Eagle and the Harvard Cities for your song, Paper Stars.

There it is. And to end out our podcast, we do the same thing every week since we started and now reads a little piece of despair from the Danverse. Oh, this week Dan says, is my ex my soulmate?

If she's away from you, Dan, I hope so. Yeah. My name is Dave Miller. And my name is Niles Payne. And we're your fuck buddies. And happy Monday. Unless you're not listening to this on Monday. Unless you listen to it another day.

I'm happy that day. But if you listen to us ever, we hoped that Monday that this came out, it was happy. Cue the music.