F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 197 - Doesn’t Matter, Had Chili’s

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Head on over to http://lovehoney.co/Fbuddies and use our limited time code: FUCKBUDDIES20 Look, I know it's tough living in a world where Pokemon don't actually exist, but woman are not an acceptable substitution.  Topics include traveler's guide to dating at Chili's, when gaming friends get more attention than you do, being punished for falling into a trap, how to properly DTR, a real life Pokedex for real life women, and, of course, more Tinders.

Hey listeners, before we get to the episode, we want to take a moment to address the June 24th Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. This decision stripped away the legal right to have a safe and legal abortion. Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans and others should other countries do this too. This decision could also lead to the loss of other rights. To learn more about what you can do to help, go to choice.crd.co. We encourage you to speak up, take care, and when I'm trusting, I love. I put my trust in you. I put my trust in love. Hello, friends.

My name is Dane Miller. And I'm Niall Spang. And we're your f- buddies. We're a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky sexy situations to turn them into sexy sticky situations simply put we are a sex and dating advice podcast that finds questions either online or from our wonderful listeners and we answer them right here in your ears every monday or whenever you decide to listen we delete we put all of our episodes up on monday and as soon as it hits 1201 tuesday i delete all of them. Yeah, it's true.

Now I will say, it's not just every Monday, because there is Pillow Talk, our super secret, Patreon exclusive, one episode a month, last day of the month, which may be a Monday, may not be. So some days people have gotten a delectable double fuck buds injection right in

their ears. That sounds weird. Hey, let me tell you, the amount of times I've been fucked on editing because it does land on a monday is more often than not yeah that's true i don't know what i did when i popped that beer but it like sprayed across the room and landed on a check i've yet to cash so that's professional of me no they can't cash it yeah i'm probably not like why does this smell like beer hey you know what's fucking cool what's cool our listeners yeah you know it's ready you know it's not cool when you show up to buy something from someone and you're like i didn't bring money and it's like why why'd you come well i mean do you want to tell the story otherwise that's not gonna make any sense i'm selling a bike frame on fucking facebook marketplace this episode is late coming to your

ears it's not it's just like being recorded because someone just like fucking showed up and was like oh hey yeah i didn't bring money i'm like cool how do you think this goes down he's like well i'll e-transfer you when i get home i'm like you have your phone right there he's like yeah i can't on my phone trust me they said trust me about nine times which like the more he said it the worse it got so there we go fuck that dude it's when someone keeps telling you everything is okay it's like the more he said it, the worse it got. So there we go. Fuck that dude. It's when someone keeps telling you everything is okay. It's like the more you tell me that everything is okay,

the more I think it is not. Or the one guy that lured my girlfriend into his birdhouse fucking carpentry shop and kept saying, I'm not a serial killer though. Well, that's just common courtesy. I don't know. Anytime alone with a woman. I do like to mention that I am not a criminal.

I use reverse psychology and say I am a serial killer. Women love bad boys. Yeah. You ready for a question from Tired18? Yeah. Is it weird that I take every first date to Chili's? So I started this as a joke a couple years back because I like Chili's, and I unintentionally went on back-to-back first dates to chilies.

It's a good middle ground of not fast food, but not super expensive. I realized and thought it's kind of funny, so I decided to make it a tradition and take every first date to chilies. It doesn't have to be the same one. I've been to several. I'm convinced it's one of the best first date spots because having lunch or dinner with another person allows plenty of time to talk and get to know each other while also setting a time limit so someone can leave without making it awkward.

I've also had girls ask to go get dessert somewhere else, so there are plenty of ways to extend the date as well. That is an incredible way to extend the date, by getting them to ask if you can go somewhere better. Yeah. Or literally anywhere else. Yeah. This method also allows me to have a controlled environment where everything is the same with the girl I'm hanging out with. So I can compare how well the date went with all my other past Chili's dates. Plus, if the date goes badly, I still get to eat Chili's.

Is this brilliant or weird? P.S. This post is not sponsored by Chili's. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. Because, like, look, at the end of the day. Now, okay, here's the caveat for this i think are you getting second dates with these women he seems to mention that he's going to chili's a lot so i'm gonna guess no if you're going on second dates and these are these dates are progressing

further then no there's absolutely nothing wrong with it i think it's fucking hilarious and you know if it's not hindering your dating experience then keep doing you man you get to you're at the restaurant you like and you're dating normally whatever but if you are only going on first dates and those first states never lead to a second date maybe it could be you know you have to kind of do the the common denominator and it's it's you and chilies and you could only get rid of one of those two things right there's there's only one that you could actually sort of control which one you're you're dealing with here so maybe if you're not getting second dates try maybe try a tgi fridays oh well the thing is does tgi fridays have guiltless grill

lighter menu items with the same bold chil's taste, lighter choices of all the flavor for 650 calories or less, such as their ancho salmon or cilantro lime carne asada? I don't know. I doubt it. They even do a three-for-me all-day value meal. It starts at $10.99. It's perfect for any mood or time. You choose your beverage, appetizer, and entree and spice up and customize your meal by adding a classic margarita, dip or famous cheesecake well let me tell you right now dji fridays free chips and queso hey let's just read out menus for the fucking rest of the episode free chips in case okay man uh you know

what dane raises i think probably the only point we need to right now where it's like doesn't really matter how you feel about chilies what matters is how do they feel about Chili's? And if you're getting a lot of first dates and no other ones, it's like, yeah, Chili's is funny to you. It's not funny to them, probably. Yeah, because I feel like the only way that it could be funny to them is if you told them, oh, hey, I take every one of my first dates at Chili's. At which point you're kind of just talking about all your other dates,

which is not usually a great move. Yeah. To tell someone, be like, Hey, I'm treating you exactly like everyone else is, uh, you know,

we all assume that people have common date spots, but to, to have that thrown in your face is less than ideal. Yeah. And the thing is, it's like, if you had a common date spot, it's probably not funny because it's a, if you had a common date spot, it's probably not

funny because it's a good place to bring a date, right? The only reason it's funny is because it's bad and you know this. So is it weird? Probably. He doesn't think it's bad. He loves chili. But then why does he think it's funny? I don't know. Because it is chilies. But that's the thing. Like, it's not funny because it's a great place to eat. It's funny because he knows he shouldn't be doing it. I guess. And that's the thing. Even he knows.

Okay. I found another comment. He says, for everyone saying, go to a local place. I travel a lot and it would ruin the joke because local places are local. I wouldn't be able to do it every time. And the thing that makes this funny to me is that every first date. I mean, maybe this guy's not looking for more. Like if he's traveling all over the place,

it isn't like a second date. It doesn't really matter. Like if he's going on first dates and then hooking up with these people and then moving on to the next town, as long as he's being upfront about what he's up to and he's not leading people on or, or being mean to them. Yeah.

And look, man, I don't see anything wrong with this. Well, you know what? I I'm starting to like this more see anything wrong with this well you know what i i'm starting to like this more and more because one he does know what he's gonna get so it's gonna make like organizing a date easy two they presumably know you're going to chile's so if they don't want to go they can just say no it's the fact that they're going it's like that's cool three

i always i think we've said this before. It's like, you should go out. Not every date works out for you. So you should go out and try to enjoy yourself. And this man even said it. If the date goes badly, I still get Chili's. We still get Chili's. He's looking after himself. He's given them the option.

He's keeping things. I love it. It's not weird. In fact, that's my new advice. Everybody Chili's. Do we have Chili's in Canada? Doesn't matter., Chili's. Do we have Chili's in Canada? Doesn't matter. Had Chili's.

Do we have Chili's? I probably in like more rural areas or like suburbs and stuff. You know, those like weird, like big box, like shopping centers, like not shopping malls, but like it always has like the Canadian Tire, the Best Buy, you know, like those places. Those like, yeah, strip mall kind. You know, like those places. Probably one there. Those like, yeah, strip mall kind of things probably have a Chili's. But I don't know. I don't know if Chili's is in Canada.

Can we go? We can go to Chili's, sure. Let's do it. Hey, if one person joins our Patreon this week, we will go. We will find a Chili's and go to it. And we will do an Instagram live chat thing with you guys. We might have and go to it and we will do an instagram like live like chat thing with you guys we might have to go to niagara that's okay go hit the casinos oh yeah we'll make a fucking day of it a little day trip out to niagara let's do it and if we win any money in the casino we'll

make his second potato baby with all the money what we'll do is here's what we'll do we'll go on our instagram and we'll we will say red or black and we will take all the money from that month's patreon and put it on what you guys choose oh okay yeah right i like and if we win big thanks and if we lose it all uh you know we played a fun game if we lose it all do better next time yeah you got a question for me i do damn tgi friday has four dollar cocktails all day every day is there a fucking tgi friday you know tgi friday's used to be like a fancy thing in dublin that we go to also niagara falls what the fuck it's because it's right on the state line right i guess yeah it's on the border so so they got to appeal to the Americans somehow.

They don't just want Montana's and Kelsey's. Roots Chris Statehouse. This is from Reddit user TerribleTales6709. I, 19-year-old female, feel like my husband, 19-year-old male, prioritizes his gaming friends over me. What do I do? My husband and I have been together for a little over a year. We've been married for about two and a half months

and he did everything he could to make me feel special. I've always known he has online friends he plays video games with and understands that he occasionally needs his guy time to decompress. I have no problem with that. The thing that bothers me is ever since we've been living together, since late September of 2021, his friends have seemed to take first place. He spends

about 70-90% of his time outside of work, either texting or playing a game with them. When he does play, he'll play for three to four hours at least. I've expressed my concerns about it several times, explaining that we don't really spend time together anymore unless we're sleeping or trying for kids. I've explained that for months now, I felt like I've been second place for him. He always says something along the lines of, that's not true. You're my wife and I love you. Then either guilts me by saying I never let him play with them or that he's not allowed to have friends because of me.

Both things are not true. I'm just tired of not getting the quality of time I used to get with him. What do I do to get my husband to want to date me again? What do I do to convince him that his spouse should come first? I, okay. So I appreciate that you are not upset that he is spending time with them. I hope, right? It looks, it seems that way.

That you understand that he needs time with the boys and that, you know, gaming, there's nothing wrong with it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You just aren't getting your share of his time, which it sounds like it. You know, if he's spending most of it, like if the only time you guys spend together is when you're trying for a kid or asleep together that's not great yeah and it's not great that he's trying to guilt you and that he's saying oh i can't have friends or you don't want me to play with them because that's a very like childish not addressing the issue and just trying to turn it into like you're the bad guy and he can just sulk and go back to his fucking call of duty because this is some this isn't Elden Ring bullshit.

This is some Call of Duty bullshit. Yeah, this is 100% like, yeah, or like Halo or Rust. You know? Yeah, maybe FIFA Online. Definitely not those positive role model games like Rainbow Six, etc. Apex Legends. Apex. Oh, my God.

The positivity. Actually actually it is far more positive than rainbow six uh okay so you gotta sit him down have a proper talk and be like look i've tried to bring this up to you and like don't don't do your little thing where you get upset and and say that i'm not blah blah i definitely want you to friends i definitely think you should play with them and i love it uh what i want is just to spend more time with you. Can we organize like something for us to do either? Like maybe you guys could game together. Maybe you guys could start like a dance class together or a hobby, or even just like a date night once a week. You know, these are all pretty good ways to like lock in time together without making it weird. Like it cause it's going to be fun then, right?

And it's not this formless, like, oh, I've been counting hours and you've only spent X and Y. And then he's like, fine, I'll turn off the PlayStation. He sits there like, what are we going to do then? If it's like, oh, Wednesday's our date night. That's not too much to, you know, give up. Especially if you guys are doing fun stuff, right?

It might kind of reignite the spark. And on top of that, if you guys do like a lesson or a course or some kind of hobby together, again, it's something. So I think that's the route to go. I think a lot of people fall into trouble, especially younger people. I also, I'm surprised you didn't mention this, but they're 19 and they've been together for a little over a year and they've been married for two and a half months so that means you guys knew each other for seven and a half months and then got married at 18 yeah so i actually missed the start of the question because uh i almost x'd out of zancaster and and got really worried uh and i was gonna ask you to stop you're on a roll and i was like i probably didn't miss anything important

so yeah hey don't get married that young and don't get married when you know each other for that little. Yeah. That's not mature enough. If you haven't lived with each other, you shouldn't get married. Yeah. I think like that is just a hard and fast rule.

I think everyone, because a lot of like, you find out a lot more about a person when you live with them. Yeah. I also find that a lot more about the person when you've been with them for longer than it takes to birth a fucking child. Yeah. Also, the fact that you're trying for kids while also having this issue is troubling. Like, don't try to have kids until you know that your relationship is solid.

Yes, for your sake and for especially the kids' sake. What I was going to say, you know, time frame aside, aside like you guys are very young and i think you've rushed into this way too fast but i mean that's you know that ship has sailed but i think a lot of people have a lot of trouble with moving into a new space together or having someone move into their space and then being like i don't know how much of my time is mine you know that's something i've always struggled with when you move in with a partner because before anytime you spent together was like oh we are spending time together you're at my place you're accidental it's very much a plan every time yeah like you've come over we're doing a thing we're hanging out and then you go home and then i can do whatever

the fuck i want but when you live together when all of a sudden your space is also their space you it kind of feels weird to be like i'm just gonna leave you to do whatever you're doing and i'm gonna go do my own thing and there's like a little bit of guilt involved of being like should i be am i ignoring you right now or am i just existing in the space that is also mine so i think a lot of people kind of get lost in that sauce a little bit and it almost feels like he's gone one way we're like in like while not knowing what to do he's like okay fuck it i'm gonna do my thing and you're maybe on the opposite where you're like i'm not like i'm waiting for you to do things. And I wonder, like, do you have things you do? Because if you're sitting around waiting for him 24 seven, that's going to fucking suck.

But if it's like you have your plans with your friends three days a week and you come home and still can't hang out, like, is it that you're maybe not doing what he's doing and all you want is him? And maybe he's withdrawing because it's too much again especially because you guys are babies or is it just you know a simple fact of like we live together so like i don't have to put effort in because we live together now like we're married and we live together and like it is you know of course i i still care about you and i love you like there are people who don't need as much like their love love language isn't quality time. Like I'm kind of, I'm kind of one of those people. Like I don't need a whole lot of upkeep when it comes to that kind of stuff. So, you know, I, it's not high on my priority list. Not that I don't want to spend time with people, but it just like, I don't feel less loved

if I spend less time with people. Whereas my partner is the exact opposite where, you know, quality time and acts of service are definitely their love language. And it got to the point where we, once we went back to work after lockdown and stuff like that, and even during lockdown, choosing a day when it's like, this is our day together and this is our time together. And this is the time that we spend together. And it's, it's become become like it's not always the same day it is whatever day that we find that we are we have off together it's like that is our date night and we make sure you know before we make any other plans that week we make sure that we have a date night scheduled and then structure our week around that because that is like sort of you know the the priority for us now

with two very busy schedules yeah i just like oh man just don't don't get fucking married that young don't well the ship has sailed on that one unfortunately i know but you know what like i i wanted to make this joke earlier and it's like i want them to date me again it's like you guys barely dated what do you mean again it never really happened it was a fucking flash in the pan okay i'm sorry i'm done i'm done but i don't think it's too much to ask to do something like that so i think steps you could take one make sure you are doing you stuff hang out with your friends do fun stuff that you want to do and if you have a healthy balance where he does stuff with his friends you do stuff with your friends then make the balance fully healthy by completing the circle and doing stuff together.

At which point, again, like we said, a class, a hobby, gaming together could be fun. Have a movie night every week. Go on a date. Go to a restaurant every two weeks. You know, something like that. I feel like it's not too much to do. And like having something that's fun will be great for both of you. But also like it'll stop the argument of like fine what are we doing

now then you know like you want to have it like pre-planned and have it be fun and exciting and different and not just like stop playing right now we're hanging out because then he's just gonna sulk and you're gonna sit there and be like well what do you want to do and he's like call of duty well that's i think that's why you do need to like be like hey i'm not spending enough time i would like to make sure that there's like at least one day a week that we get to do something you know whatever it is it doesn't matter um but it does need to be i think it does need to be something other than sitting around the house um and i i know not a lot of people can afford to like go out for dinner every week or whatever but like even if it's something as simple as like going for a nice walk and you

know holding hands and just like going for a stroll around and you know holding hands and just like going for a stroll around or you know during the summer there's a lot of free shit that happens in parks and festivals and like street fairs and stuff like that so like just go and check out one of those and just kind of wander around and maybe grab you know some some cheap food from one of the stalls and that's like that's fun that's an experience that you can't replicate like that happened that day because that's what was happening on that day and that's not something you can do again yeah so like during covid when we could leave the home but like nothing was open me and my partner would go to a nearby park and we took up skipping which was you know a way to keep active and funny because we were both shit at it.

And then we would bring like picnic blankets and we would bring some snacks and we'd skip for a bit. And then we'd lie down and we'd read and it was great fun. And it was also free. I got like an $8 skipping rope off fucking Amazon. So it could be as simple as that. So I think you do need to like really lay down the fact that obviously quality time is one of your love languages and make that clear. Even then, I don't think that's even something you need to say because I think everybody, even if it's not your fucking love language, you do need a certain amount of quality time. I currently are getting zero. So like, and again, like if they start being like shitty, you can like, it's a good argument in a way because you get to be like, I want to spend time with you.

And all of a sudden things aren't that bad. If it's like, oh, someone just really wants to spend time with me. It's not like, you know, you can frame it that way instead of being like, I don't want you spending time with your friends. It's I love you so much. I want to spend time with you. Yeah. And that's a good, like, you know, it's always nice to spin things positively. So do it that way. And even if you want to, like, do the opposite and be like, cool, like, set up times with your friends and we will stick to those, right?

If every Monday it's a games night for you guys, great. Like, I will not intrude on that, you know, because, again, that's kind of what we do, right? Actually, it's fully what we do, although we play D&D because we're very cool. Yeah. I mean, like, that's how I structure my week. I know that Monday is for the boys, and then Amanda and I will find a day that works for both of us for date night, and then whatever else I have going on, I slot into my free time. But those are the two constants that I make sure that every week has those two things in some form.

Yeah. This is from West at 3110. I unintentionally killed my wife's libido oh boy i was really worried as to what like every set every word you said after killed i was gonna read it really slow and and make you think it was way worse but i don't want to do that to our listeners i don't mind torturing you but they they mean a lot to me you know that's fair uh guess guess how we did it um yes you get three and if you get it right dane he cried no um he took a really really big poop nope okay um so i didn't hear what i get if i yeah because i didn't say it and then you start guessing and that was an easy way for me to not have to suffer. Give me anything?

Yeah. Oh, okay. What else can ruin a wife's libido? She caught him jerking off to something weird. She caught him jerking off to something weird. No. Okay. So you're done?

I don't have to give you the $1,000 I said I'd give you? Okay. I only had three? I don't have to give you the $1,000 I said I'd give you? Okay. I only had three guesses, right? Yeah. I just want to make sure that the $1,000 I had were safe. Yep. Perfect. I don't have $1,000. Now, it happened when she tested me about wanting to sleep with other women via threesomes. She didn't want that at all. While I don't agree with her approach about it, I want to sleep with my wife again. I'm lucky if i get blowjobs we've had sex only a couple times the last month previously it was four or five times a week looking for a way to remedy this wait what is that it the fuck are you talking about i guess she said do you want a threesome like pretended she did and then when he expressed enthusiasm, she was like, it was a test. I don't want to sleep with you anymore.

Oh, I thought it sounded like he wasn't interested. But no, I mean, this whole question is a mess because I like I literally don't have enough information at all regarding anything. It sounds like like my only thing I can tell you is sit your wife down and be like, hi, you posited something. And I responded honestly if that upsets you perhaps don't ask the question but at the end of the day you saying hey do you want to have a threesome and me being like yeah i would be down for that is it anything against you you know you didn't ask me if i wanted to only sleep with other women a threesome involves you that's because i want to sleep with you and it would be fun i think if another person was there well that's the thing it's like oh i killed

my wife's libido it's like no you were kind of abused here it's like you were tricked and lied to and manipulated and now you're being punished like none of this is the hallmark of a good relationship a good relationship is hey you know i'm bringing up a thing I'm interested in doing because I'm genuinely interested about it. What's your opinion? And then save somebody saying something absolutely fucked. You're like, oh, yeah, no, I'm not into that. Or great, we agree. Let's move forward.

Not like, oh, I want to do this thing to you. Yeah, that was a, you activated my trap card. No sex for you. Go, blue eyes eyes no vagina yeah it's uh it's it's bad it's just a bad situation so i like i again the only thing i think you do sit them down and and have a conversation be like hi are you upset that the question you asked me like i what hi What? Hi, wife. Hi, wife. Let's have a conversation. Yes, honey.

Because this isn't a trap. But it was. What? It was a trap. No, what I'm saying... What are you saying? Are you having a stroke? I'm being the wife.

I'm trying to respond to you. Keep talking over me, which is another reason I'm not going to have sex with you. Wait, this is... You just keep saying random shit while I'm trying... I was replying to the things you were saying what i was saying was you know have a conversation with her and let her know okay excellent excellent podcasting you you missed what i was putting down but okay you do your thing where i won't be the wife um i don't even know

what i was saying anywhere you go you do your thing no I was responding to you as the way you were like let's have a conversation and you said hi and I was like oh hello no you said hi wife yeah because I was telling you to say that and then you did and I was like so you weren't responding

it was very obvious listeners are nodding going that was right unless you think the wife would respond with, hi, wife. Yeah, because she has to declare herself every time she says something. He fucked up by saying something casual, just saying hi. It's like, hi, sir. Like when you're in the army. Do you want to have a threesome?

Wife. That's how it went down, I'll bet. Yeah. Everything she says at the end end she has to clarify that she is wife yes look this is not positive there's nothing wrong with you being interested in something once you're doing it positively and especially not something wrong with you being interested in something when you've kind of been like waylaid into like under false pretenses and like a threesome isn't cheating because you're agreeing.

Right. So it's like, and it's also including you. If you're not into it, that's cool. Don't bring it up. I never understood people who think that like wanting, like being interested in a threesome doesn't mean that someone is unsatisfied

with you because like, unless someone is actively being like, Hey, do you want to have a threesome with Lisa? Hey, I think actively being like hey do you want to have a threesome with lisa hey i think lisa's free tonight you want to have a like then you could be like okay what's going on with you and lisa like do you have a huge thing with lisa but like just being like i'd be interested in a threesome like that's i can't imagine many people not being interested in threesome specifically you know as long as it's the the you know the genders that they are attracted to but i don't know it like the whole situation just seems like it's again i don't have any information like this the the question itself

is hard enough to parse what the hell's going on let alone like enough information to give you actionable advice so i really do think you just have to sit down and be like hello let's talk about this and then go fully i think an abusive relationship like this isn't at the very least it's very toxic you know what i mean so talk to her and be like look i feel like there's some kind of insecurity at play here but you know what i mean but like you have nothing to worry about i'm your fucking husband you know like what's what's wrong do you feel like i don't want to have sex with you because guess what i'm so bummed that it's only a couple times last month and previously it was four to five times a week just talk it out tell her this isn't okay and

that's the thing don't stand for shit like this because you shouldn't have to uh this comes from reddit user found his panty. We had the DTR talk, which stands for define the relationship for those who don't know. That was fun. And now he's ignoring me. What do I do? We've been seeing each other for seven months. Yesterday, I finally told him that we

need to talk about what we are to each other. He says that I'm the most important person to him and we're in a serious relationship, but he thinks it's childish to call me his girlfriend or say we're official now. After much going back and forth about this, he ignored me mid-conversation. He basically argued about how he thinks it's high school stuff to ask someone to be their girlfriend and that a relationship should just develop naturally. I said, no, clear definitions need to be set and it's important to be clear about what

we are so I can be also clear to the other people in my life. I'm not even asking for something outrageous like meeting my parents now. I'm just asking you to tell me clearly to my face what we are so I can be also clear to the other people in my life. I'm not even asking for something outrageous like meeting my parents now. I'm just asking you to tell me clearly to my face what we are to each other. He then responded, you're nowhere near close to meeting my parents. And I know that will be your next request soon. I said, no, that's not true. I don't think that's crucial right now. And ever since then, I've been ignored.

It's been almost a complete day since we've last talked, and he's ignored my text. Hey, I love this girl. Because assuming what she said she said is what she said, she expressed it very well and was very eloquent and knew what was important. And, you know, just gets the bottom of this. And guess what is fucking childish? Ignoring people saying stuff like, you're nowhere close to me, my parents. I guess that's what you want next that's fucking childish not being like hey let us actually know where we stand in relationship to each other in

relation to each other because that is important to make sure we're not cheating on each other yeah and like i get sort of his his side of things in terms of like not his behavior but his like being like girlfriend like okay sure you don't like those terms but you still need to determine whether you're exclusive or not and that seems to be like a term but that's not where he's coming from he just doesn't want to

put any labels on anything apparently right but what I'm saying is at no point in time in this whole question did anyone say anything about exclusive because officially dating girlfriend is But what I'm saying is at no point in time in this whole question did anyone say anything about exclusive? Because officially dating – Well, being boyfriend and girlfriend is being exclusive. I mean not necessarily.

You could say that being a partner or boyfriend and girlfriend and we're not exclusive. Yeah, but like it's commonly the way that you would say it, right? Sure. Like if someone's like – At the same time, it's not – like for people who aren't, it means nothing, right? Yes, but for people who aren't, you specifically have to talk about it and set those boundaries. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. There needs to be a talk of exclusivity, and then what term you want to use is kind of arbitrary.

But at no point in time did they talk about exclusivity. And I know it's implied. Yes, they were using it in the implied way, which I think great for you and your partner and a lot of people who do these things. Unfortunately, it's a little bit more common, especially as you talk like high school shit. It's like people aren't being like, yeah,

especially when we were kids or when I was a kid, people weren't talking about ethical non-monogamy in the fucking playground. It was boyfriend, girlfriend, and that meant you were dating and that meant you were exclusive and that has lasted and people generally use those things. So I think it's understood or it should be where they're coming from. And yes, if you want something different or even if you want to just clarify,

you still need to do that. yes. Yeah. I'm just saying that like there are terms that should be used when having this conversation and what your level of exclusivity is, is one of them. Yes, fully. And like, that's the thing. If you don't like the term boyfriend, girlfriend, that's fucking fine.

Most people say partner. I find these days anyway. Yeah. And if you don't like partner, whatever, you still need to know what you are to each other so that no one gets hurt yeah and i can't imagine you wanting to not know unless you're the one who's going to be doing the hurting yes i mean like this dude's reaction is bad it is it is a bad thing i'm just i just wanted to throw in some more nuance to you know a black and white answer um but i will also say, it also sounds like you're having this conversation via text, which I think is also a bad call because there's, again, nuance to these things. So how what he's saying and how what you're saying can be misinterpreted so easily.

Yeah. Text is not exactly the most eloquent form of conversation because you're just missing so much and emojis just can't quite cut it no it's like important conversations like you know figuring out where you are in terms of your relationship and what you mean to one another should be a conversation that is had face to face in person so that there isn't this sort of like imaginary subtext so that when someone says something you know what they mean or you can question them yeah or clarity as opposed to being like you know if someone depending on how it started if it was just like hey we need to talk right like that is obviously the best approach that's like a bad way to start a conversation no matter what it is it doesn't

matter if it's like i want to go get ice cream are you you want to go get ice cream it's still like what's gonna happen what what's gonna happen with ice cream i think we need to talk is you can only use that with bad conversations but people use it all the time just casually they shouldn't if someone's like hey we need to talk and i'm like oh fuck fuck fuck and i get there and they're like so you ran over my cat i'm like oh like i'm kind of relieved because at I get there and they're like, so you ran over my cat. I'm like, Oh, like I'm kind of relieved because at least I know I was right. And it was going to be a garbage conversation.

If I get there and they're like, uh, you're the best. And I'm like, no, you don't get to do that to me. Yeah. Especially if you're not going to answer right away.

The, like we need to talk and it's like, well, I'm not going to be able to see you for like, you know, another day or whatever. Don't say that shit to me. My mom does it all the time to me when she knows i'm at work she'll text me like please call when you can oh god i'm like and then i'll call and they're like yeah the stray cat that i look in the backyard i think has an infection it's like okay mom that's

fine i'm sorry to hear that i really hope sylvester feels better, but like, I thought you were going to say that dad died. So can you fucking chill a little bit, please? Yeah. Worrying. Just like have important conversations, not on text. Because like I said,

like things like I'm trying to find a quote that they say, you know, someone saying that like a relationship should develop naturally. I don't disagree with that. But like like depending on how you end up reading it it could seem really dismissive as opposed to being like you know you know for me is that like it like yeah okay it should develop naturally it's been seven months presumably it has naturally developed to this point at which point where are you at? You know? But also, we've talked before about the whole DTR fucking conversation. So it's like, don't approach it

like, what are we? Say, hey, if you want to move forward, say that. Because that's all that matters is what you want in that situation and what they want in that situation. You shouldn't be trying to trick them or like get their answer before, you know like if you wanted to date this guy be like hey i really like you i want to become exclusive like what are your thoughts on that and then you're not like in this kind of will they won't they what's our fucking what's our label what's our tag like it gets it out there and then he can deal with the actual facts instead of very possibly feeling cornered and trapped and not knowing what you want and therefore giving you all these zero answers. Exactly.

At the end of the day, like we have talked about this a bunch of times of like the, the, what are we? It's not, that's, that's such an unfair question because you're putting 100% of the onus on the person you're asking,

despite the fact that it's your feelings that need to be addressed yeah right like you want to be exclusive but you're making them jump through your mind hoops hoping to arrive at the same answer that you are so like now said if you want to be if you've if you've developed this relationship naturally and seven months is a pretty good you know i wouldn't say it's marriage time but certainly time to to become exclusive it's like yeah seven months i think is a perfectly reasonable amount of time to see someone before being exclusive i think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that but don't ambush someone come at them like if you can't come with them honestly with your feelings you probably shouldn't fucking date you know yeah and if you're worried that like oh hey

if i say i want to be exclusive it might scare them off it's like why do you want to be exclusive with them yeah or good because if you really want to be exclusive with them that badly that's something you should probably get out of the way quickly before you get hurt and they get hurt right yeah but don't don't be that guy don't be that guy don't be that guy because i think he's definitely the shittiest person in this exchange yeah like towards the end absolutely where it's like yes you're not ready to meet my parents yeah like come on but also you really do need to do like when you're having these talks leaving it open-ended is bullshit it's like we've said before if you don't know whether you're exclusive or not you're not exclusive right so it's like at the end of this conversation if you

haven't said hey we're exclusive you're not exclusive. Right. So it's like at the end of this conversation, if you haven't said, hey, we're exclusive, you're not exclusive. And if one partner fucking thinks they are, especially if you have like a conversation like this that's like treading that line, which is like you're the most important person to me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If you come out of that feeling like you're exclusive and it turns out

you're not, that's a fucking day ruiner right there. And by that, I mean like a month ruiner and that drag that baggage into your next relationship ruiner kind of deal. So don't do that. This is nameless. Am I the asshole for making a real life Pokedex of girls at my university?

So freshman year of college, I began working on a project casually. I like to keep notes on women I talk to about their favorite things, activities, gifts, candy they like, sappy shit like that. I'm not good at remembering things, so I decided to keep a spreadsheet. Eventually, after getting a handful of entries, I talked to about their favorite things, activities, gifts, candy they like, sappy shit like that. I'm not good at remembering things, so I decided to keep a spreadsheet. Eventually, after getting a handful of entries, I mentioned to a friend group. One had the idea I share

with them, so we'd keep new entries as they caught different women. So this expanded further. Right now, 40 guys have access to it. It's mainly the guys in the track, and the women featured are girls from different sororities. We also added more info, such as where you should take them if you really want to impress them. We don't keep this information for nefarious or scumbaggy reasons,

just to help us know what to do if we want to impress them. Like, the original idea was just to keep their information like favorite color, so I didn't forget everyone's favorite color. Now it's helping a lot of guys. Somehow, a girl who was on the list found out and she was pissed the fuck off. She was eventually able to trace it back to me. I assumed someone who was simping for her snitched when the Pokedex wasn't making the girl like him. She's pissed off and made it out to be a guide to hugging up with women,

when it's most definitely not that. It's just to make impressing them on dates easier. That's it. She made a big deal of telling so many girls around campus. Now they're all saying by the start of fall, none of them will be visiting our frat or going to our parties. All the guys are mad at me, but I'm not even the one who told the girls about the list. And they were also using the list. I think it's unfair to say the list was about sex when it wasn't at all. Am I an asshole? Edit. I'm not a stalker. There was no information that could be used to hurt someone, only to have a better date. It's not about sex.

I never used it for sex. Oh, sorry. I never used it for just sex. This is like the worst plot to a teen comedy movie from the early 2000s. Also, how Facebook was made. I mean, yeah, absolutely. I mean, like, sorry, dude, your million dollar idea has already been turned into a multi-billion dollar idea. Like, at first I was like, you know what, if you need a little reminder about, if you have a shit memory

and you need to remind yourself something arbitrary, but it spiraled so quickly and so grossly into the second you shared it with people, and like, sorry dude, but you think your frat bros aren't using this for sex? Also, you think your frat bros aren't using this for sex also you think you think this guy isn't yeah it's like if you're using a weird catalog encyclopedia of women to have better dates hey what happens after a good date yeah why are you impressing someone on a date yeah if you

don't want to have sex with them yeah it's like hey this was amazing i can't believe you brought the exact roses and chocolates i like you want to come back to mine oh fuck i do but i gotta impress you in a different way first what yeah sorry i gotta keep the i gotta keep the integrity of the pokedex fuck do you do you like pretzels no damn it i can't fuck you goodbye and runs away and then in his shame types does not like pretzels also like do you not understand even by referring to it as a pokedex you know like wild creatures you throw balls at and capture like i mean he did he does specifically say that once he catches them yeah in the question hey do you think that the first question dude has a has a spreadsheet where it just says loves chilies on all of his entries yeah but like with a question mark because i don't think he's sure

and that's what really like got him he's there like staring at the spreadsheet like shaking back and forth like do they it's just a split just a perfect, like shaking back and forth. Like, do they? It's just a split, just a perfect 50-50 of like, you know, women who he has hooked up with after a Chili's date and women who have never talked to him ever again. And he's just like, I don't do. Is this OK? What am I doing here? And that's why he travels around the country. He's traveling for work.

But the work is his Chili's spreadsheet. He's like, what about people in Minnesota? Fuck. Two for two. One of each. What about Alberta? Oh, God. Well, if I may be so kind to direct you to your chili spreadsheet, I do want to remind you that the Pokemon

theme, I wanted to make sure I wasn't making it up, but it does say I will travel across the land searching far and wide. The next part is teach Pokemon to understand the power theme. I wanted to make sure I wasn't making it up, but it does say I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. The next part is teach Pokemon to understand the power that's inside. Inside of Chili's. Inside of Chili's. They just want to show them. Just be like,

look, guys. It's you and me. We do the menu three for me. Shit. You're my best friend. In this Chili's to the end oh boy email decks gotta find out if chilies is true i like it but do you wait what was that i like it but do you i know i kind of stumbled over the words i'm fucking strong here yeah i like you're a scumbag yes you are the asshole if if the question is if you want if the question is are you the asshole yeah you're the asshole my dude you

this is weird also like can you imagine the slow dawning realization of all the girls on campus when like guys come up to me like hey i really like pink or like oh i fucking love mauve and also because like frat guys known for their chill can you imagine that production bro gets this fucking list he would literally be walking around campus being like you're claire hold on he's like rummaging his big fucking santa sack he's like oh i just have this uh terry's chocolate orange um oh hold on are you are you sandra hold on claire i'll be right back. Sandra, I just found some wine gums. It's like, what are you doing?

Chills like the two worst things. I would ravage some fucking wine gums right now. What are you talking about? What's your fucking snack on the Pokedex then? Fucking like cherry blasters, fuzzy peaches. Okay. I'd fuck with them too. Exactly.

Maybe peanut M&Msms let's go well you can't put peanuts in because you know lara is allergic to peanuts what if people use this pokedex to kill okay we gotta move on it would be an excellent like an assassin thing you know maybe like just poison their favorite treat leave it out at a party boom oh shit yeah uh yeah you're an asshole don't do fucking weird shit like this we all know how to act i'm cataloging women yes you got one are we uh no i think that's gonna do us but before we end the episode we like to hop on online dating profiles such as tinder and bumble and hinge and peruse profile see what works see what doesn't work in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable.

Ready for Becky? Mm-hmm. Digital nomad, entrepreneur, troublemaker, marketing agency and e-com brand founder, working online and traveling. Looking for someone to travel with. Sigma, 511. Not a texter, let's get drinks, drink emoji.

June, Santorini, Budapest, question mark. April, May, Okanagan Valley. March, Nevada. February, March, Caribbean, Mexico. January, skiing in Europe. Why was he going backwards in time? Oh, it's a lady named Beck. Oh, sorry.

Why is she going backwards in time? Who fucking knows, man? Yeah. As I was reading it, I was like, wait a minute. Maybe, no. Now I'm more intrigued. Do you have some sort of time? Is that how you find time to travel?

You just go back? Because, like, past you is doing what you need to be doing. But current you is back in the time traveling. And there's no, you know you'll never run into each other and cause a paradox. Hold on. Can time travel? I'm just putting that in the Pokedex. Is a Sigma.

That threw me for a loop and I think is enough to tank the whole profile right down to a two. Yeah. I also just like looking for someone to travel with. And then you post up detailed travel plans. If it's like a cute like in the future when we date, I want to travel and it'd be great if we could travel together. I'm OK with that. But if it's like I actually want you to travel with me in July, that's weird. Travel with a friend.

Yeah. You know, or travel by yourself. Don't find a stranger and travel with them. Unless they want the this this idiot who isn't a Sigma, some sort of beta cuck to pay for the travel. Maybe. That's some fucking Sigma moves right there. That's powerful Sigma energy. Yeah, anyway, it's a two.

Yeah, it's a three. This is Anna. Pros. Well, first, she has her Snapchat, and then it says, I don't use Tinder much. Hit me up on there. Pros. and then it says, I don't use Tinder much. Hit me up on there. Pros, all this has black hearts and sparkles besides. Ooh. Like, almost like bullet points.

And that was just sparkle then black heart or black heart sparkle? It's black heart then sparkle. Okay, good. I'm just living, learning, and loving the Lord. I can tie a cherry knot with my tongue. If you had five cents for every girl you met as goofy and as cute as me, you'd have one. What? Huh?

Are you a fifth as goofy as cute as yourself? It's impossible. She's also in some kind of time enigma. Or spatial enigma? Just a simple doll focused through whatever comes my way. And then what looks like

almost like an evil eye emoji which is pretty impressive i didn't know that was there cons i don't text first unless you're hot in music notes as well i like smoking pot a lot i'm a cancer so naturally i cry a lot like celebration blowy emoji high probability that i ask about your zodiac sign oh man zodiac sign red flag i cry a lot red flag uh fucking most of it honestly it just got worse as it went down yeah i just like i can't even begin to recollect half of it it's gonna be like a zero yeah i'm giving it a zero as well that was a lot it was just like an unpleasant profile. It was.

I mean, like you only heard it audibly. You should have seen the fucking mess of it. Yeah. Like in terms of structure and emojis, it was not it was not easy to look at. OK, you ready for Michelle? Yep. Love bringing a male pleasure. It's usually pretty easy for me to bring a man to climax.

I like to dive in face first. If you know what I mean, gentlemen, positivity, good vibes. Don't follow your dreams. Follow me here, Insta, and also message me there.

So this is, I think these are bots again, because I've imagined. So I see a lot of like similar things. The idea that you dive in headfirst, I assume you mean oral sex, but that's a weird way to say it yeah it's like there's no other way to do that than head first and diving just is not coordinated enough for my gentle parts right because diving implies that you're in going

into something hey if you dive head first into something that is solid you could paralyze yourself and like you know, my hips are right behind my dick and they're made of bone. Yeah. I don't want you headbutting either my anus or my urethra. So please, I mean, those are really the only

two things. I mean, I guess you could dive in my mouth. But all these things, I don't. That would explode your damn head. That's what I'm saying why she's very small she's saying she wants to dive in head first again it's like either it's a bot and it's a zero or it's someone trying to be real sexy and just kind of failing and it's a one that's a zero it's like when the guy kept saying trust me trust me trust me it's like i like pleasuring a guy i can make guy climax easy i die it's like you're you're

doing too much here that it makes me feel like you've never seen a dick ever yeah yeah it's so this is carrie or it could be you this could be this could be nile yeah it's gonna be i eat the same thing for breakfast every day without getting bored some say it's weird looking for friends and if it turns into something guess try it out it out. I don't do that anymore. What? I got to get up too early, man. I don't have breakfast at all.

Damn. Yeah, I know. Sad. It's probably for the best. Well, now we're never going to get that weed a big sponsorship. Sure.

You can talk about how sad you are because you don't get to have it anymore. I'm, uh, it's, it's like a four. Yeah. It's nothing really. You know, it's like, cool yeah it's nothing really you know it's like cool that's the one thing

you want to share I mean like that part I don't mind because that's a decent opener being like cool what do you eat because I want to know I don't mind it but I feel like it's a fun unique thing at the rest at the end of like a full profile right yes yeah it's like a nice little hook

you know but nothing no real meat on that bone uh yeah it's it's kind of bland much like having weetabix every morning uh this is and all my friends are already on their second child and i'm here swiping on you guys hand and face emoji laughing emoji hey you're probably having more fun not by the sounds of it i don't know it's like why are you talking about that? Why does that matter? I know nothing about you, aside from the fact that you're kind of weirdly insecure about the fact that your friends are having kids. I don't know.

It's like, own it. Hey, I can still tell you right now, she's having more fun. Well, yeah, no one's having a blast having a shit ton of kids at the age of 30. Nope. And look, I know some of you parents out there are going to be like, they're the loves of my life. You're lying to yourself and everyone you love. Even if it's the love of your life, are you having more fun? Probably not.

Can you tell me you're having more fun than no gen? You are frequently touching another human being's poop. But not even in a good way. Hey, you know what? Not even in like a weird post-Chile's dinner scat play. Exactly. Which like, again, their fucking guilt-free grill

will load up your fucking scatological cannon so well. And in a healthy fashion. I bet they have incredible fucking jalapeno poppers and stuff like that probably well we'll find out when someone joins our patreon yep all it takes friends one person to join our patreon and we will go have chilies we'll do a live instagram q a situation and then you guys will choose whether it's red or black and we'll put our full month Patreon on it and

see what happens. I will get blasted at a Chili's and I will make sure Dane gets blasted at a Chili's. We'll have an incredible dinner at Chili's and then go to TGI Fridays for $4 cocktails. Oh, fuck.

This isn't even like a punishment like Potato Baby kind of was. This is like, please let us. Please. It's all we have to look forward to. And all it takes, as low as $3 a month. For as low as $3, you can change our entire week. Once again, for as low as $3 a month, you can make us spend all the money we're asking you on something frivolous.

I can't tell if we're very good or very bad at promoting our Patreon, but again, potato baby person, you know who you are and we love you. That was fucking clutch. It was a clutch move. Are we done with tenders? Do you have a really banger that you want to get in or can we just,

where are we wrapping this bad boy up? Fuck it. No, I don't got shit. Okay, cool. Thank you very much for listening. We just did our Patreon plug. If you would like to join

and send us on an incredible boy adventure to Niagara Falls to get some chilies and potentially financially ruin us at a casino, head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com and click the Patreon link. As I mentioned, there's an option as low as $3. I think, right? It's $3.

Yep. Yeah. And then the middle tier gets you access to not only the Pillow Talk episode coming out this month and also the one that just came out in June, but all the other Pillow Talks. I think there's currently 11 of them up there. So if you are up to date on

our show and you're like i need more content head on over to patreon seven bucks a month and it's it's there just waiting for you and a new one gets added every month it's kind of like sad that at this point if you go and you pay seven dollars it's costing you less than a dollar per episode though like far less than a dollar maybe like it's getting close to 50 cent per episode yeah we're getting there yeah three more months yeah we'll be there and like that's devaluing us but hey look it's that's that's 50 cents per episode but then there's also almost 200 free episodes you get to listen to. Yeah. Oh, shit. It's devaluing us further.

And we've never missed an episode. It's less than a cent a month or a cent an episode. So again, F buddies, podcast.com, uh, click the Patreon link. We would love to have you in our little group.

Also, you get to see pictures of potato baby. Those are still Patreon exclusive. So if you, uh, if you need to maybe regret seeing something, that's the way to do it. And we would be forever in your debt. Yeah.

The people who are a part of it, we love you the most. No offense to normal people. But you fully help us to do this and keep it going. And it's amazing. And we really, really, really appreciate it. If you listen in general we still fucking love you a lot it's great we were actually in the top 20

charts in Namibia this week so high five to my Namibia friends I don't even know where the hell that is well now you're gonna learn I guess thank you Josh Eagle and the Harvest Cities for their song paper stars damn I'm getting worse at that.

You are. You're losing it. I'm getting better at the intro and you're getting worse at the outro. Yeah, fuck. But yeah, we love you guys so much. So thank you all. And hey, if you don't want to join the Patreon or if you can't, we don't care. Just get a friend.

Give us a review. Give us a five-star rating on spotify etc there are so many ways to help and we love you all at the end of the day just be happy be healthy be sexy you know take our advice to heart and if you get the chance to ever help a friend in need by giving them the advice we've given on the show that that's why we're doing it at the end of the day you know we we want to make people feel safer we want day you know we we want to make people feel safer we want to make people healthier we want to make people happier and and at the end of the day if we've done that for an hour uh once a week you know we couldn't be happier about that true got

some best exciting for us oh sorry you know what before this i just want to point out one other thing if you do like us and you do like episodes and you've crushed all the pillow talk and you're like damn just need more Dane and Niall. There's also No Quest for the Wicked, which is a Starfinder podcast. It's like D&D in space. It's kind of like half narrative, half improv. Dane does just an outstanding job making this incredible world and story and really just fucking delivering on his acting chops with a million characters and just perfect comedic timing and it's a lot of fun and he's also edited the fuck out of it and there's incredible music

and it's just all very finely crafted and it's a lot of fun so if you want to go check that out you get both of us and two of our best friends so and now it might be selling yourself short the boys uh themselves do uh i throw a lot of curveballs at them and they've been performing the hell out of it too. It's one of the things I've created that I am most proud of. I don't think there's many projects or art that I've made that I can stand 100% behind. And this is definitely one of them where I just, you know, I couldn't be happier with how it is um so yeah as now said uh no quest cast.com uh or no quest for the wicked on whatever podcatcher you

use and we just had our best month for listeners and downloads so it's you know if you want to hop on a rising ship it's the time all right bad sex writing time. You ready? Yep. Jesus Christ. This is Satan, His Psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S. by Jeremy Levin. She rested casually in her seat, her long black wavy hair falling seductively to her bare shoulders, tanned and splendid in a simple yellow sundress on this hot autumn day, ample breasts unencumbered by supportive undergarments bulging from beneath the ribbed bodice and displaying such robust and profound cleavage. It made Kessler dizzy. Vita, amused by Kessler's obvious enthusiasm, turned a little in her seat, barely suppressing a smile. Aware of Kessler's eyes riveted on her, she adjusted the thin shoulder straps, which lifted her dress only slightly higher, and not only failed to achieve the

desired result of a modest increase in comfort bottom, but actually set her breasts undulating, which are most disquieting turbulence. Look, man, I'm not a good flyer. You know, I get a little nervous on planes, I get a little sweaty,

and if there was What was it Upsetting turbulence Disquieting Disquieting turbulence Disquieting would be so much better In one way and so much worse in another Because like can you imagine being like

That unsettled by Well if someone's breast did start Undulating with turbulence I would in fact be very worried, especially if she slightly pulls her dress up. Yeah, and they just start fucking ragdoll round circle like PlayStation 3 physics.

Yeah, I'd be like, we live in the Matrix. But hey, I would not take the red pill if that was the world I was living in. I would spend the rest of my days going to Chili and just watching my dates undulating breasts. Chili's is the red pill. I forget which one's good because people have co-opted such shit.

Well, red pill means you've been broken out of the matrix. So that's the good but it's also the one it's good in the movie but bad in our real life yes yes yes which is very funny because I know fucking Ivanka Trump posted about it and then Elon posted in support of her

and then the Wachowskis were like fuck yourselves and I appreciate that my name is Dave Miller and I I'm Mal Spain. And we've been your fuck buddies.