F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 213 - #SaveManhunt
Episode Date: October 31, 2022That's right, ladies. You sit there... sipping your lemonades while men continue to suffer at the hands of society. Topics include a jet setting affair, sentimental nude stash, personifying your m...anhood, the allure of tearing off clothing, the historical significant of that tangy yellow juice, the best you ever had.
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I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love.
I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love.
I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love.
I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love.
Hello friends, my name is Nate Miller.
And I'm Niles Bain.
And we're Fuck Buddies
We're a dating and sex advice podcast that has been award nominated
Several times
For multiple awards
And we take your questions
Your sticky situations
Turn them into non-sticky situations
I lost it, I lost it there
Okay, maybe one of your worst ones yet
Simply put
We are a sex and dating advice podcast Where we find questions either online from our divine listeners, and we answer them right here in your ears every Monday. And occasionally, well, not occasionally landing on the same day as we upload a normal
episode which means i have to do double the work on the last month for some reason the last day
has been monday consistently yeah so to help dane struggle through this time you all have to go join
because he needs that money to get him through do you know how many coffees Dan has to buy every day to edit
two episodes to release on the same day?
A lot. Not a single coffee.
I don't drink coffee. Yeah, he doesn't drink coffee, but it's
metaphorical coffees. Yeah.
It's meth! A four.
Ready? Yeah.
I was hoping you would be like, it's a big
crystal with knobs.
It has the juice. It's sometimes blue.
It's sometimes blue. Heisenberg makes it for you
it's math exactly jesse will tell you all about it bitch i was gonna do a bitch damn it i'm gonna
do a bitch thank god it's almost like we're on the same wavelength quite often every now and then it
happens all right should we answer a question know what, let's answer a audience question.
Ooh, okay. This is a follow-up from
Pinoy Boy Toy. Ooh. And he
says, I applied your advice, guys,
just now, and I'm waiting on a reply.
We've been trying to set up a date this week, but our schedule doesn't match.
So you asked if we could do next week instead, and I told her
I wanted to continue seeing her, but if our time
doesn't match, then it is what it is.
Basically, I dropped the ball on her court to make the time
if she wants to continue seeing me. I'll stop asking her out from now on let's see how it goes
we hope it goes well yeah they go on to say one awesome thing happened last week i went out of
town for an event and i met this young lovely girl who won the pageant from said event the only
problem is she's based in another island two hour flight away but i'll probably fly to meet her next
month and see how it goes any tips for this type setup? We didn't have much time to talk,
but I'd like to fly there just to meet with some friends and take her out on a
couple of dates.
Uh,
I mean,
this seems to be your wheelhouse,
my man.
Like it seems to be like,
this is not something you have trouble with.
So I don't know.
I mean,
I think if it's a two hour flight and presumably flights presumably flights aren't inexpensive, and you're having trouble hanging out with someone who lives not a plane ride away, presumably this isn't a relationship that's going to go further than the time you spend on vacation or whatever you're going.
It's going to be cash.
Yeah, it's going to be sort of like an isolated, you're there for for two weeks and it's a two-week kind of fling and like i i don't think everything that you have presented to us in the past makes me
100 confident that you are capable of wowing this person and taking them on fun dates and
being charismatic and and really not worrying too much about it that's a bad answer no no it's true
even though it's true that's the thing we
have full faith in you we still gotta answer the question because what if someone else is there and
they're not pinot boy toy and they need they need the advice too they're like wait this question
adequately describes my situation but i still think that like if you and again it's a pageant
so once again sounds like a model situation here. If you have the confidence to approach the winning model at a beauty pageant of some sort, hit it off, get a number and then get invited to hang out with them a plane ride away.
I think you're in like I don't know.
I think the only thing the only danger or sorry, the only like preparation you have at that point, I think, is overthinking.
Well, I think there are things you can do, right? Like if you're going to be in town for
X amount of days and you've never really gotten time to know this person, I think it would be
a little much to immediately like to stay at their place if they're offering. So I think
having your own place to stay while you're there is good because it'd be a little overbearing if you arrive and just have to spend so much time with this person you don't know.
Because either one of you might not really like the other, and this at least gives you breathing room and a backup if things aren't going well or if you need your space.
So I would say I would probably err on the side of having your own place rather than theirs.
You still go over to theirs.
Unless it's a major
monetary drain, I think that's a good call. I think secondly, having things to do while you're
there. If there are friends on this island, I don't know where it is, or if you've been there
before, or at the very least, stuff that you would like to do yourself in case they're not
free the entire time. Or as I said, things go poorly because this is never going to be a bad trip if
your backup is you enjoying the fuck out of your trip you know what i mean well that's what he said
right he said he was going there to hang out with friends and take her on dates right yeah yeah so
he said i'll go meet with some friends so that's what i mean like i was gonna say like i love that
that is good because you're not just going for this person so it's like win-win if it doesn't
work out you're on holidays your friends are there you're gonna have a great time so like you're
already doing it right sounds like my answer no i also said to get your own place i think you run
the like i said like i think you run the risk of like trying to i think now makes good points i
think there is something to be said about maybe making plans and like looking ahead of time into
what you would like to do and making
those dates or like making those part of dates of being like oh i would like to go check out
the aquarium and be like hey i know it's touristy for you but i'd love to do it and then it's
something like you get to experience something new and go on a date to to you know check marks
at the same time and also it takes the the onus off of her like going into a new city
you don't really know where to go or what to do or what's cool or where where fun places to go are
so like it's good to have an idea so at least you can be like here are some things i would like to
do would you like to do that with me and conversely if she offers any recommendations that's even
better because then one she gets to take you to these places. And two, you get like the locals perspective because it's always better. Yeah. But like,
it sounds like you're going to be fine. I would just say, you know, make sure it's not the be all
and end all of your trip. And if it's not working out for you, don't sacrifice your trip because of
that. You know what I mean? It's going to be casual no matter what. So it's like, if it's
great, it's great. If not have a great trip. And again, win, win. Now, maybe we are making the assumption, maybe we're jumping the gun and maybe they don't think it's casual. So it's like, if it's great, it's great. If not, have a great trip. And again, win-win. Now, maybe we are making the assumption,
maybe we're jumping the gun
and maybe they don't think it's casual.
So it might be worth mentioning somehow, casually,
that this isn't going to be a recurring thing
or a frequent thing.
Because again, I don't know how expensive it is to fly here.
It might be like when you're in Europe
and it's like a fucking $11 flight to to even two hours and the time in the airport and all this like we know
it's a busy guy and we know people living far away and not being able to match up schedules
has already been an issue so i'm imagining it won't be but maybe they don't know and yeah like
there's no harm in just laying down the facts so no one gets hurt yeah exactly
just just a casual being like you know this is a this lines up with other things i want to do and
you just so happen to be you know this this is a golden opportunity as opposed to something to be
expected yeah and hey it can happen more than once or if one day they move to where you are or vice
versa or whatever, who knows?
But yeah, it's always good to set up expectations in a realistic way. And it even opens up the opportunity to be like, oh, if you're ever on my side of the, you know, in my neighborhood, give me a shout, and we can do it again just in my hood, and I'll show you around.
Awesome.
So, good luck.
Sounds like it's going to be fine, and I hope things also work out with the other person.
Yeah.
As always, we can't wait for the next one.
This is from Hidden Old Photos.
This is from a 28-year-old female, 28-year-old male.
My husband keeps nudes of his ex in a relationship for four years.
Married earlier this year.
I opened his hidden folder on his phone because I'm dumb and
nosy. I have no reason to distrust him. I didn't even think about it. His phone was in front of me
and I looked. We have been sending each other occasional nudes without our faces to spice
things up. I guess I wanted to see if he had saved any of mine or that's the lie I'm telling myself
anyway. Well, he's not finding any pictures of myself. I did see 22 pictures of him with his ex having sex, some nudes, plus
short videos of him and his ex having sex. Both their faces were fully visible. I did check the
date and confirmed they were from way before we had even met. I'm not concerned about him cheating.
I'm not even sure if it really bothers me that much. It was a little shocking to see, but I think
if I had pictures like that, I might have saved them too. So it's hard for me to blame him.
Yet, I still have this sinking feeling in my stomach about the whole thing.
Was the sex better with her?
Why doesn't he save any of my nudes?
I haven't talked to him about it.
I shouldn't have been looking at his phone in the first place, and I don't plan to ever look again.
Should I just ignore it and pretend nothing ever happened?
I understand that the fact that I looked at all is a huge breach of his privacy, and I do regret doing it.
I guess I'm just looking for some outside perspective. I understand the fact that I looked at all is a huge breach of his privacy and I do regret doing it.
I guess I'm just looking for some outside perspective.
Well, I think the first thing to do is to really nail down why you feel so upset about these.
If you because you seem confused about it and like, let's let's be fair.
It's not that the sex was better.
I don't know that you can really make that logical leap.
Just having videos or photos of sex doesn't mean it was because it was better um i think it's highly likely that for whatever reason they were
saved at the time and maybe either he just keeps them because they're hot he keeps them because
he forgot and isn't accessing his hidden folder you know i mean i feel like maybe the reason he's
not saving nudes with you is because he's been with you for a while and like he's older.
You know what I mean?
So it's like it's less of like, oh, shit, here's my nudes and my little nude stash.
Like it could just be that like they're a little bit more run of the mill, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
But it's like he doesn't have to scrimp and save each one or you put them somewhere else.
I don't really know.
Yeah.
At the end of the day, I think you don't seem too upset by it. And I think you even made the admission of being like, you know what?
These are, these are things that like, he wouldn't be able to get again.
It's not like he had gone on and took pictures off of like Instagram, right?
It's not like he screenshotted Instagram photos or stories and was saving them after the fact.
These are pictures that he took when he was with this person we can get into the ethics about saving nudes and storing them because this day and age it's you know there's
no security when it comes to this kind of stuff like you you do have to be especially if faces
are visible and stuff like you do have to be aware of being like hey everything on my phone
could be accessed by people at any point in time if there is a security breach in the apps
that i use or the platforms that i use so we can or i lose my phone yeah so we can you know we can
talk about that and and maybe discuss that like maybe not the best idea to do if if you really
want to save your nudes i don't get a usb and be like a real weirdo i don't know uh i i don't i think there's there's
something we need to sort of like kind of just let nudes be transient and enjoy them for what
they are and then let them float out into the ether and that's the thing it's like maybe when
he was younger he was just saving these because like i used to like when people sent me nudes like
again not in a creepy way not like a snapchat i screenshot it or something like when it was like consensual
trading of nudes it's like i didn't just delete them yeah it could well be that when he was younger
uh he didn't think about that and just saved them and again they might not be being accessed
they might be being accessed as masturbation material they might be like kept i don't know
maybe he was worried that she would leak his nudes.
So he has some with her in them as like a fail safe.
I don't really know,
but it's possible that he could have grown up and realized that it is kind of
dangerous to keep nudes or as Dan said,
maybe he has a weird pervert USB.
Look,
we all got one.
We all have a pervert USB.
We've all got a little shoe box filled with hundreds and hundreds of increasingly sized USB.
And they get smaller, too, because that's how technology works.
But I've got one of those big, huge, 512 megabyte ones.
It's like the size of a shoe, and it can't even hold one picture.
Yeah.
It's broken up into,
I have to like get into Photoshop or MS paint,
put them all together.
Yeah.
You put,
I'll put all four in your laptop.
Uh,
yeah,
I just like,
you,
you need to figure out what,
what it is that bothers you and like then move forward.
And it's like,
yes,
you shouldn't have looked,
but it's like,
once you have like admitting it,
isn't the bad part.
You know what I mean?
You've still broken their trust.
You've still done this thing.
So it's like admitting it is you being honest with your partner.
Yeah.
It's funny because you're like,
Oh,
I don't want,
it's a huge breach of trust.
So I'm going to lie about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
It's like,
you don't want to get in trouble is really what you're saying.
You know,
it's like,
Oh,
I don't want to tell him because it's huge breach of trust.
No,
you don't want to tell him because you don't want to get in trouble.
You've already breached the trust.
Um,
and maybe that's also a conversation you guys need to have.
So I can't say why they have them.
You can't say why you're annoyed.
Now, what do you think about what are your personal opinions about keeping nudes from previous partners?
I don't know.
Because like hypothetically at that point, it's just porn, right?
Yeah.
And like porn, whatever is fine.
Yeah, there's more of a personal connection, but it's like, I don't know.
Do you think there's a validity of being concerned that, oh, they're hanging on to these because they still have feelings for?
No, I would imagine like, look, would I be thrilled about it?
Probably not.
Do I think it means they have feelings for the person?
No, I think like someone can still be hot and not you they have feelings for the person no i think like someone can still be
hot and not you not have feelings for them all my exes are hot but some of them are assholes
you know i mean it's like i i could be like hell yeah and still fucking dislike them yeah i mean
like you were with them because you found them attractive and presumably you kept the nudes
because you found them attractive so just it doesn't matter how bad a breakup is.
And I think there is,
you know,
a breakup can certainly diminish attraction and certainly, you know,
make you unattracted to someone,
but that doesn't necessarily mean you find them not physically attractive
anymore,
if that makes sense.
So like,
I,
yeah,
I feel like I'm in the same boat of,
of sort of don't think I'd be super pumped,
but at the same time,
like, you know know if i had if i still
had access to some of the photos that people have sent me over the time like i think i would still
be like i people every now and then so i can't i can't write also yeah well so the funny thing is
it's like with the podcast and with giving advice in general you know i mean if you're giving it to
your friend if you're giving out a podcast it's always easier to give it than to act on it.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, hypothetically, I know I would tell someone else, like, look, it is just porn.
It doesn't mean whatever.
And I do fully understand people can be attracted to people and definitely would be attracted to the people they were attracted enough to date and have nudes of.
Would I love it?
Who's to say in the moment, right?
So I'm not going to get on my high horse and be like,
oh, there's no way I'd be upset.
But I would understand also that that's what it is.
But also like, I'm pretty,
I probably have nudes of someone somewhere.
Like, as you said, like,
I know you're joking about the dirty box of USBs and shit,
but it's like, I've backed up my old hard drives
and my old phones to various things. Like I have laptops I don't even know run anymore there might be some in there i don't know
um so it's like someone i find that and be like oh they're holding on no i don't even know if they
turn on you know so yeah i might turn on but the photos inside turn you on damn you fucking harlot
it's true that's who i am uh so i think the important thing is like look
if you're upset that someone has their old nudes you have a certain amount of leg to stand on but
you also don't i don't think most people are keeping them because they're sentimental you
know what i mean or like because of an emotional connection they're keeping them because their
person's hot maybe even more hot now that they're almost like illicit because it's like if you have
a bad breakup that person probably doesn't want you to have them anymore.
And if you're in a new relationship, maybe you shouldn't have them.
So like that could be a little extra spice there.
It's one more thing that you can talk to your partner about.
If you're not comfortable talking to your partner about how things make you feel and how stuff that they have done have made you feel, then you need to reevaluate how you want to communicate in the relationship. If you come across these things, whether, you know, intentionally or
accidentally, and you're like, Hey, I don't really like this. I think there's, there is a little bit
of an onus to be like, okay, let's have a conversation about this. And part of that is
also going to be you being like, hi, I went through your phone. I understand that shit.
I found these photos they
made me uncomfortable can we talk about it because i feel i'm dealing with a lot right now like i
feel guilty about going through your phone i feel a little insecure i feel like yada yada and it's
like those are the things that are going to make a relationship stronger as opposed to just holding
it inside and look this guy might be like hey that's fucked up that you did that and be upset with you and i think he has the right to be upset at you and i think he has the right to
take that information as new information about the who you are as a person and and move forward
like and like you know what i mean and let that influence how he feels about you i think that's
and i understand that's why you're probably hesitant to have this conversation, but the more you do things, feel bad about them and then cover them up and pretend like
they never happened.
The worst is going to be in the long run.
Yeah.
And the thing is, if this is something that's eating away at you, there's no way you're
not going to get drunk and pull it out in an argument or something.
And then it's, oh, you broke my privacy and then lied to me about it and then held it over my head and got bitter.
That's, I think, four times worse.
Exactly four times worse.
I was going to say, not five times.
Nope, not three.
So that's the thing.
It's like, look, yeah, you did it.
You did the wrong thing.
But that's why earlier I was saying you need to figure out why you're annoyed.
Because you need to be able to talk to them about this in a way that is conducive like is
good that can like be positive and like build because if you just start talking to them and
you don't really know maybe you'll figure it out but maybe it'll just be like aimless um and yeah
they're probably gonna be upset about you going through the phone and i think you need to have
that conversation but i do think it's probably for the best you guys have them as separate
conversations like you go look i totally own what i've done it's it for the best that you guys have them as separate conversations. Like you go, look, I totally own what I've done. It's, it wasn't good, but like, I would like to
discuss this first or sure. We'll discuss the phone thing first, but I do want to get to the
other thing just so one issue isn't swept under the rug or overtakes the other.
And I will say it is important. I'm, I'm operating and I'm answering this question under the,
the guise of the, the, the nudes are old are old my stance changes pretty quickly if these are new nudes if you went through and
you found nudes dating from you know while you guys were married or dating yes i think at that
point in time you have a leg to stand on to be upset about but i think you have all the leg
because that's cheating really yeah i just wanted to make note of that because i think that is important to an important distinction of just being like oh nudes
are just poor nudes are fine but it's like no if you're in a relationship and you're accepting nudes
from other people that is a shitty thing to do yeah it's like if you just have nudes from an
old relationship and again you could do very disrespectful things with those nudes you know
what i mean but like if you just found them and you don't even know if they've been viewed in
since or anything like that, either way, you need to talk about this. You need to figure out why
you are specifically upset. Communicate that to them. Deal with the breach of privacy and
trust and move forward. And hopefully it'll make you guys stronger as a couple. And if it doesn't,
then that's probably for the best that you break up good luck this is sex question throw away seven my boyfriend keeps personifying
his dick and i find it real cringe we're each other's first anythings it's all started ages
ago we were chilling he has an obvious heart on and i just smile at him for it and he says
think he's excited or something when looking at his dick i said don't do that and he says what and i says i and i says don't
personify it because that's just cringe but from then on he does it frequently like he refers to
his foreskin as a hoodie and uses hoodie terminology to describe gliding it up and down
sometimes when it's hard and twitching he calls it hyper or that he needs to calm down a bit like
or don't worry we're almost there referring to my mouth and then skull emoji
or that he needs a place to let that energy out like a fucking dog that hasn't been on a walk in
a week now he doesn't do it all the time he just does it to me cringe because it's cringe what i
told a friend who said she finds it kind of cute and not cringe i'm literally dying every time he
says something like that surely i can't be the only person to find that cringe. I hate the fact that you just keep using the word cringe.
That's more cringy than anything.
Yeah.
So cringe.
Okay.
I,
I see it from both sides here.
I think I would also be uncomfortable if I was about to go down and
someone was like,
Oh,
she can't wait to make out with you.
I'd be like,
what the fuck does that mean i don't like
that one bit like so like i get it i i understand acting as if your penis is a third participant in
sexual and like the oh almost don't worry buddy we're almost there while you're about to get a
blowjob that's yes good though that's. No, I think you mean very good.
This is grade A comedy, guys.
As an outside observer, yes, hilarious.
I love it.
But as a person who's involved in that sexual experience, I think terrible.
I think it's a bad time.
My worry, and you're right, because you said you can see it from both sides.
We've all done it when their partner's like, oh, don't do that.
And then you do it more because it's funny to fuck with them a little bit.
Yes.
So I don't know if it's this, but maybe Gonzo, because they said one day he said it and then she said, don't do it.
And then he like did it frequently from then on.
So maybe he thinks it's this like fun fucking with you like joke thing
that he's doing to like kneel you a little bit yes i also can see if if he was doing it seriously
it would be the least attractive to most awkward thing i would love to know what the like the hoodie
terminology like what does that mean what are you talking about that was a very weird terminology to you can you can you tell me
one classic universal hoodie hoodie terminology he put his hood up oh he put his head off
it's just those are just actions i don't know maybe he has little drawstrings on the edge of
his dick and he pulls them tight and he's like oh just like a hoodie ow so talk to him yeah i think there's
two things you you have to say you sit him down and be like look i know you might be doing this
as a joke but i do actually find it kind of uncomfortable and i don't find it sexy and it
takes me out of the mood during sex and it's like look if you want to joke about it while we're
making dinner and you've come up behind me and like grab my ass and are a little hard because we're you know you're kissing my neck while i'm cutting the mushrooms
or whatever and you want to say oh he's he misses you or whatever okay but in the bedroom during
sexy time can we not refer to him or it as a oh now you've done it i know as a as an active
participant in this i think you look him dead in the eyes and you say, you ever hear that thing about girls in your hoodie?
Oh, and then he will never like you'll never get it back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not good.
I do think like, as Dane said, starting with the assumption that it's a joke is good because then even if it isn't a joke, can be like no it was definitely a joke and hopefully
move on and look if you have a talk with them and they are unwilling to change or maybe it's not the
relationship for you but like have a talk just be like look i guess a joke and it was funny even if
it wasn't you can be like it was funny sometimes you're like look at this point it is actually
kind of taking me out and like making sex a little bit less enjoyable can we just not do it yeah if some
if you tell someone that something they're doing is ruining sex for you regardless of what it is
and they decide to keep doing it then that person doesn't give a shit about your sexual experience
regardless you know what i mean like it could be most people would be terrified to make sex worse
and be like oh shit i'm so sorry yeah like that that's
all if someone was just like hey when you do that during sex it really takes me out of it and i
really have a hard time enjoying myself i would be like cool i will never do that again within
reason of course but you know if it was something like i was joking around or or a simple you know
something that i did that i could easily not do i I would, I would drop it in a second.
And if they don't, if they double down on it, then it's like, okay, they, your sexual experience
doesn't mean anything to them. They, they think a stupid gag that they know you don't like is
more important. Like keeping that going is more important than making sure that you have a good
time. Not a, not a good partner. Yeah. I could also say maybe relax a little and stop worrying about what's
cringe and maybe like if it is like maybe find it funny because it is a little funny that's the
thing like i i feel like if they are ultra unbelievably like powerfully doing it seriously
yeah that's that is gross but like i i find it hard to believe i i got to keep that faith in
humanity a little bit and it's like who like what's find it hard to believe i i got to keep that faith in humanity a little
bit and it's like who like what's cringe it's almost like you're thinking about other people
when it's just you and them and it's like if they're just being like funny and like loose
and shit with you at home when no one else around like that's what you want for sex yeah you know
and again hey he might be a big fucking weirdo doing this way, way too weird. I could see it.
So we don't know.
We're not there.
But like, you know, maybe there's a fine line between both options, but still just talk to them.
Yeah.
Or and I can't believe we haven't said this yet.
Return fire.
Yeah.
Like you got to do it so badly that he comes to you.
And then you said, I learned it from watching you.
Yeah.
Like when when he's about to fuck, you'd be like, oh, I can't wait for her to smother him.
I'm sorry, what?
She's so hungry, she wants to nom nom on your sausage.
I just want to take my wet plastic bag and put it over his head.
Smother him like that gay manhunt.
I want to get cancelled like that gay manhunt for smothering your dickhead with my wet plastic bag pussy.
I want my pussy to feel like PlayStation 2 cancelled game Manhunt. The famous game Manhunt that was really good but maybe a little ahead of its time and got cancelled much like my wet plastic bag pussy around the head of your fat hoodie dick.
What was another fighting game that also got cancelled
because it was too violent?
I don't even know.
You're just going to talk about Manhunt,
a game I've never played and I don't know why it came into my head.
None of us have played it now.
That's the problem.
It's true.
It's cancelled.
You know Australia bans a bunch
of games for no reason no like i don't think you can play like uh like grand theft auto and shit
all gets no banned yeah australia is super intense on their uh they're like uh their rating system
whoa did you know manhunt is set in a fictional city which is in a shared universe
with grand theft auto really yeah it's it's part of the grand theft auto universe grand theft
autoverse was it by rockstar it was damn i didn't know that was it playstation 2 was i right uh
yes you were damn nice good got it. This is our cancelled video game podcast.
But seriously, just bag up that hoodie.
Oh, it's called Thrill Kill.
The game's plot involves ten people who are all sent to hell after dying on Earth
and forced by Maraka, the goddess of secrets,
to fight to the death for a chance for reincarnation.
Just, like, slam down on his dick and be like,
I'm the goddess maraca
and you have to fight inside my fighting pit for a chance to be reincarnated just like that famous
game thrill kill for playstation 2 it was a playstation 1 i believe damn it was an old it
was old it was way ahead of its time all right this is from any cherry he wants to rip my tights
but then leave them on.
So my boyfriend asked me last night if I would mind him ripping a pair of my tights. I wear
them every day for work. When I got home to enables to have sex without him or me taking
them off. So I leave them on ripped. I said, sure, but I don't really know why. LOL. I asked,
and he just said he loves my legs and tights anyone else like this i'm happy to do it and i
respect his answer i just wonder if this is a common thing i guess dude i get it it's hot there's
there's no deeper meaning there's no secret it's like it's just i guess kind of a fetish it's like
how sometimes it's fun to to leave the clothes on or to pull the underwear to the side or to
pull the underwear down and like lift up a skirt like these are all little tiny things you can do
just to make it a little bit more exciting i get it and there's like a up a skirt like these are all little tiny things you can do just to make it a
little bit more exciting i get it and there's like a primal of like just ripping clothes off like one
of the most fun i've had in a recent sexual experience was uh someone had an old pair of
jeans that like had started to get all ripped and they were torn near the butt there was holes near
the butt specifically oh my god we talked about this you
cannot go out wearing those how could she no they didn't i went to their place okay good she wanted
me to just you know she was like hey look i'm throwing these pants out so like just i guess
we'll just tear them off and she was like i also have an old like paint tank top that we can also
yeah so it's like i just like i just tore these clothes
off her and it was fucking great it was a lot of fun and it was i didn't you know it was something
i would never do because clothes are expensive and it's such a dick move to ruin people's clothes
take note women when a guy's wearing a button-down shirt don't fucking rip his shirt off
that's not cool they're expensive and like what i'm supposed to do find all the buttons that you've launched everywhere and then sew them on that fucking sucks
even if i found them which i wouldn't do or probably couldn't i'm not gonna fucking sew
them on i don't have those talents and i wish i did you know those like mesh kind of like body
suit things did that one of those before and it's really good and like they're cheap enough so we
knew it was like a once-off thing and had discussed that that was what was going to happen with it so much fun so like i
don't really know that this conversation is going to go anywhere further other than you don't have
to worry about it it's just kind of hot and and different i would just say if you're uncomfortable
with it obviously don't do it and the workaround might be if you want to just wear normal tights
to work and then change into torn ones when you get home.
If that's something you're uncomfortable about, then that's a pretty good compromise.
But other than that, I don't see the fucking problem.
Yeah.
Have fun.
It's such an easy, sexy thing to do.
I think you'll probably find that you do really enjoy it.
I think there's I think, you know, if you're into the idea, I think in practice, you'll be like, yes.
And hey, look, maybe you'd be like,
you tell him, here are my size,
here's the brand of tights I buy, go pick up
a pack, and those are
our fucking tights.
And we can go through a pack a month, or whatever.
100%. Like, don't let this
financially ruin you, you know what I mean?
Don't go all Tiger King. No.
I'm gonna double down.
Ruin your lives like you ruin these tights oh damn
that's the real like nothing's hot like the only thing hotter than tearing apart some tights is
tearing apart someone's bank statement tearing apart your financial stability uh ready yes
lavender princess asked asks asked i guess it was the past tense, why is it considered rude to order lemonade on a first date?
Oh, don't get me started.
I am getting you started.
All right, read the question.
I feel like I don't even want to.
I feel like someone will leave you with that.
Why is it, Dane?
Illuminate us.
Look, there has been a long history of societal standards about what lemonade means on a first date and especially
in heterosexual relationships i'm glad someone's finally talking about it that we have bravery
to step forward and talk about this plague i would say a plague look i'm the first one i will tell
you history has not been kind to women but men have been oppressed too and it has been in the
form of having to pay for lemonade on a first date. Right? We talk about the wage gap.
We talk about gender equality.
We talk about equity.
We talk about all these things that we want.
We never fucking talk about lemonade.
But then on a first date, what do you do?
What do you do, women?
First thing you do, you open that menu and you look for a lemonade.
And the thing is, it's not even about the money.
It's not.
You want a beer three times the price? but a lemonade but lemonade like don't you know the historical meat no i can't even
continue this someone's gonna like cut what we just said out of context one day to try to cancel
us i can't keep going with the joke here's here's the text i was on a first date with my now ex
told him i want to order lemonade. He got offended.
Told me if I order lemonade, he'll be putting him in the friend zone.
I told him several times I wanted a lemonade.
And when we got to the cafe, he ordered a bottle of wine and wouldn't let me choose anything else.
I was confused.
I was out with another guy.
We went to a pub, and this time I ordered myself a lemonade.
The guy was also offended by my order, but he didn't say anything. i could just see it on his face that he was disappointed in some way my question is why is it if you order lemonade
in the first date the guy you're dating assumes he's in the friend zone okay this gives a little
i feel like we could actually talk about this a little bit no for sure for sure there's a societal
expect no um lemonade has been a plague we need to deal with lemonade and people who order lemonade
like the publishers and critics and censors of manhunt playstation 2 canceled game manhunt
you know that's why they canceled it one of the missions it's a first date and the girl orders
yeah and they're like we can't we can't do this after after everything men have been through
it's actually the plot of the game is women hunting down men and ordering lemonade in their vicinity, destroying them on a mental level.
OK, with the context of the question, I think what's happening here, bullshit on their end.
Absolutely. It's stupid. But I think what's happened is they probably asked you out for a drink.
They probably said, hey, let's go get drinks drinks and for a lot of people drinks means date if you then go on a date with someone and you
think you're getting drinks at and when i say drinks i mean alcoholic beverages adult beverages
but when you order a non-alcoholic beverage it seems like you aren't participating in the date
if that makes sense do you know what i'm saying like it seems like it aren't participating in the date if that makes sense do you know what
i'm saying like it seems like it's almost like they're saying we're gonna go out for
alcoholic drinks and you get there and you're like i'm gonna do this though and yes i think
they're wrong because you know people may not drink or just may not feel that way like hey if
you want fucking lemonade you know you get that lemonade craving i get it honestly it's so funny that that men
have these weird fucking knee-jerk reactions to this shit because if i went on a date and we go
to a bar and she was like actually you know i just want to slam a lemonade right now i would find
that so fucking endearing and so adorable like i would i would be like you're the cutest you are so cute but also just
like it's just yeah i it's it's a nice it honestly for me you're right it's it is a a bonus because
it's like it's a dash of personality and it's like it's very easy to go for drinks and have
drinks it's a little bit more unique to be like yeah i really want rock a lemonade whether it's
your first drink whether it's your only drink like who fucking cares that shows me stuff about you and i
find that endearing and charming and i also i assume it's also like and i think this is where
we can talk about more problematic behavior and expectations of like oh we're a little drunk
we're gonna get drunk so that we can then go have sex because we both need to loosen up and therefore
they think that like oh if you're not drinking then you don't want to fuck me yeah which again
bad stance bad take but i think that is also another sort of knee-jerk reaction where people
are like oh we're your friends owning me because like you don't ask people up for lemonade right like yeah when you're having a lemonade you're with your friends and
it's kind of you know kind of juvenile kind of whatever and it's like it's not a sexy precursor
to fucking yeah i think they're worried that you're not as into the date because again it's
like drinks are are drinks right you you'll have a. Like you'll sit and have a bottle of wine or you'll have a few pints.
You don't have like multiple lemonades.
Hey, maybe you do.
But it almost feels like you're going to have this and bail.
Or they want you to get drunk with them.
Or drunk in general, which can range from very problematic to kind of problematic.
I think either way, it's a sign of insecurity.
I think it's a sign of it's a red flag it's a pink flag at best i wouldn't worry about it order whatever you want if your date's
weird about it that's that's you're at least gathering information about them because you
now know they probably aren't worth shit so right like if you're on a first date and they're losing
their mind because you ordered something that you want how do you think that's gonna pan out when you guys are dating for x amount of time and it's
like they want to start a family yeah and and all of a sudden it's like no we've been together
we're dating and we've been together for x amount of time it's kid time now it's not lemonade time
the fuck like like it just immediately shows that like there's no idea that like you have your own wants and desires that they don't get to assert their dominance and will on you.
There's, there's a lot of like really problematic and red flag behavior in a very small, like
tiny, tiny, tiny little instance.
I would be so, I would be so out of there if I ordered something and someone was like,
no, no, we're not doing that.
That's not what this is. I'd be be like i don't like this one bit like i don't i already
don't like being told what to do oh man if somebody told me i couldn't get a thing that i
wanted to order at a place we were both at i would i would fucking definitely get it but i would be
i would be so like like what the fuck is wrong with you?
Yeah, I would be so, so unimpressed.
If I need this fucking tangy ass lemonade, I'm going to get this tangy ass lemonade.
And you'd be fucking pleased about it.
Yeah.
And if you don't, if you don't like it, you're going right to Manhunt Town.
Let me tell you that.
Yeah.
Let me pull out my wet plastic bag.
Am I talking about literally?
Who knows? We'll never know because it got canceled niall uh some say if it hadn't been canceled nothing bad would have ever happened a lot of people think that the cure to covid
was in manhunt yeah and because they canceled it we never never finished. Is it my turn again? I believe it is.
I want to compliment my boyfriend on his talent, but not sure if it's appropriate.
This is from Lebowski.
I've been with my boyfriend for about six months.
He's amazing.
I think we have a serious future together, so I do not want to mess it up.
At the same time, I want to tell him how hard it's been for me to orgasm in the past,
twice in my 13 years before him, and how easy it is with him without having to ruin the moment by comparing him to
previous partners. I don't want to imply to him that my number is higher than it is, or that I'm
thinking too much about my past, which by the way, I think it's a reasonable enough around 10, 15,
vastly being relationships that didn't last. Also very, very few in the few years before him,
talking like two in the last three years, partners before him.
That's a wild way to say what they're saying, I think.
Also, I don't think has any bearing on the question.
No.
Is there any way to compliment him without insinuating
or bringing comparison into the picture?
Or would you want the comparison?
I just want to hype him up because he is truly by far the best.
And I wanted to know it and know how much I appreciate him.
Just struggling with the wording.
Additionally, I know some men may be comfortable being completely open about these things.
And that's not the impression I get from him.
I think most.
Yeah, I think most past sexual partners he'd prefer not to think about.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I do think there is the fear, especially with men uh that they get all butthurt and in their own head about previous lovers
actually men and women really but the good thing is if you don't want to compare you don't have
to compare you can just be like you are so good at sex sex with you is amazing and they're gonna
be fucking thrilled yes like i don't understand why you think like
hey greg you are so much better than steve and matt and jeff and jacob don't get me started about
brian it's like you don't need to do that also i would be like why is this how i don't it's not
that i'm going to become insecure or or up in... Just being like, why are you dragging these dudes?
You could compliment me.
All you have to say is, hey, you are the best.
Great.
Cool.
I've never been with someone who makes me come as frequently, as hard, as fast, as consistently.
Whatever the qualifier you want to put on it.
And look, if a dude gets fucking upset that you're
telling him that you're the best yeah you're the he's the top of the list then i don't know what
to tell you that you know i mean like there's nothing that's gonna make this man happy yeah
i've like i've been with people who have never come before and it's like when they've said like
oh you're literally the only persons may may become. That's fucking great.
Not for, you know, society as a whole or them or the men they've been with.
But for me, it's fucking wonderful.
You know?
So I find it hard to believe.
But the thing is, you don't even have to do these.
Like you are the best.
This is the best.
You make me come so hard.
Whatever you want to say.
No one's gonna be mad at that.
So do it.
Compliment them.
If he does does if he is
like the best huh so you've slept with someone else what oh so like you're ranking me which
means you have something to compare me to which means other men exist i don't know what to tell
you and like the fact that we've gotten to the point the fact that men's egos are so you know
brittle so paper thin and easily shattered because that we are worried about now
complimenting them on their sexual prowess that that might trigger them and not even the best
part is it's not even like any compliment it's the ultimate compliment because they are the best
like it's not even like there's any room for like you know like hey your second best okay maybe
like wait but but who who number one yeah no whatever look if that's the thing you either
need to find a compliment that doesn't put them in a position unless the position is first and i
think that's true about everything right like no one wants to hear that like oh man that was that
was really good blow job i would say you almost are the best person who's done it like
yeah no one wants to hear that's a shit thing to say to anyone about anything at any point in time
it's also just unnecessary it's like if it's good it's good and you can say that you can be like oh
it's great there's no need to number it as dane said unless it is the best and even then it's like
we've all been with people who are so insecure that if you said that, they'd be like, oh yeah, but do I have the biggest dick? Or something, you know what I mean? Like, they almost keep going until you either said they were the best at everything and then they wouldn't believe you, or they'd reach that one thing they're insecure about and be like you can find someone else to make you come this hard.
I'm sure.
Take all his sex secrets and spread them to someone else.
Much like piraters and bootleggers took all the secrets of Manhunt and spread it to the rest of us.
I will say I had a pirated copy of Thrill Kill.
Shh.
Shh.
You don't know who's listening, dude.
You'll be the man hunted.
It's true.
Thank you guys for coming along to this wonderful show that we call Fuck Buddies.
I think it's time for Tinders.
Tindies?
At the end of the episode, we'd like to hop onto online dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and peruse the profiles.
Cope through them for red flags.
See what works, what doesn't work in an effort to make your online dating experience a little more enjoyable.
This is Stephanie. She is a freelancer witch at something Turkish. Small talk is my
kryptonite. I don't know how this is going to play out since I'm a classic submissive that
believes in traditional gender roles. I'm a serial monogamous nonconformist with a well-worn
passport. You should be the same. I don't care how hot you are. No prompts is a left swipe.
Okay. Okay. It's kind of weird kind of weird yeah i mean there's a lot
in there that says you're not gonna be a good partner like the like serial monogamous that's
fine but that also makes it sound like you're in and out of yeah relationships frequently and
without any sort of like like serial i think serial killer. And I think like,
you know,
you're,
you're just doing it.
You're just doing it.
Cause you have to,
it's a compulsion.
You're like much like the game manhunt.
You have to track down many people and monogamize them.
Yeah.
And then it's like,
you know,
Oh,
I'm a submissive with gender,
like who reinforces gender roles or something like that.
Believes in traditional gender roles.
Like that's, that's a red flag right there.
I think that's also like, I don't understand why those, those seem to be juxtaposed.
Yeah.
Right.
Like your, your idea of you saying like, oh, I'm submissive, but I do believe in like,
that's presumably this is a woman.
Yeah, it is.
Right.
So it's like, it's not a stretch to be like, oh, you want to be submissive.
And I'm not saying that submissive women are also going to, you know, navigate with traditional gender roles.
But like, that is the traditional gender role of women, right?
Like, that's sort of like the societal of like, oh, we expect women to be submissive.
So like, I don't, I don't know.
It just seems like.
Also, like, I a non-conformist
but then you're like i believe in traditional gender roles and serial monogamous like that
sounds that's like the most basic shit yeah that's pretty conformist you've conformed almost
exactly the way that you're meant to yeah and like in a bad way these days because it's like
old ass shit like this is how you should have been 20 years ago that we're moving away from.
Nothing wrong with monogamy,
but I think traditional generals can go fucking
suck on a big bag of dynamite.
Yes.
I like that they don't want no prompts.
I get it.
I don't know why you need to say it.
This is like a two.
Yeah, I'm going to give it a two as well.
And I'm mainly saving my ones for absolute garbo, you know?
Yeah, this is, uh, who is this?
This is Faye.
I won't shut up about help.
I'm hinge employee number 3,682, and I've been trapped at the base for six weeks now.
This is not a joke.
Please search up fat throbbing cocks for info.
10 out of 10.
This is more of Faye because the whole profile really was
I do need more
my most irrational fear
being crushed by the gears of a massive clock
and hearing the sound of your own skull cracking
Jesus
10 out of 10
I do actually love all the personality in it
it's pretty funny
I'm a big fan too
I like it
when you said their name was Faye
I was going to be like can you be a big weirdo?
Because every Faye I know is a big weirdo.
Yeah.
Not in a bad way.
All right, this is Kathy.
Forget these white girls.
You need some variation, especially if she very Asian.
Dog emoji, lover.
Coffee emoji, wine emoji, beer emoji, drinker.
Professional sleep emoji, taker, hockey enthusiast.
Okay.
I like the very Asian thing.
I think that's very funny.
It's a quote, so I don't know if it's a song or someone said it.
I also assume they're Asian.
I don't know.
It's a picture of their chin.
So how, how Asian that chin though?
I would say very Asian callback.
I don't know. Yes. If, if they are asian i love the i like that joke if they're not asian i think it's inappropriate yeah uh it's pretty boring
but it is at least you got something to work with and it's kind of funny i'm giving it a six
yeah yeah i think it's just over that five mark yeah uh this is emily i love dogs but especially
my dog.
Beer and laughing my ass off.
I work hard, value my alone time, and enjoy people with a positive outlook on life.
I'm a non-judgmental vegan.
Yes, they exist.
5'8 and fit.
I don't want kids, but it's cool if you have some.
Yeah, I like it.
It's like a solid eight.
Yeah, it doesn't break the mold.
It's positive.
You're talking about what you like, what you're into.
It's weird that they're like, yes, they's like a little negative but whatever i also understand a lot that might stem
from other people's negativity so yeah overall eight it's it's honestly kind of a relief i don't
think we've had just like a normal profile in a while yeah and my favorite thing is value my alone
time yeah i don't know what it is about that that i'm like oh i think we'd get along
yeah that's good for me too and i think it's a good thing for people to have because like
you all you get the impression that like yeah they're on here they're pretty chill i also like
that they're like oh it's cool if you have kids they're on here they're very chill and it's like
if they value their alone time for real that means i'm not going to be just inundated and like
smothered by them, much like a plastic
bag of Manhunt. Yeah. So that's good.
Eight. As Kimberly, I'm a
fountain of blood in the shape of a girl
and then a wilted rose emoji.
I mean,
look, it's a bad profile,
but it's on my brand. It's got to
be a 10. You know what? I think this would actually
be a 10 for you. Yeah. I know it. I know it is. I know it's on my brand it's got to be a 10 you know what i think this would actually be a 10 for you yeah like i know it i know it is i know it's yeah i yeah yeah it's 10 now gain i'm sending you
the profile is this some kind of lyric from one of your emo bands the fountain of blood thing yeah
i don't think so seems like it though oh yeah absolutely this is a 10 for sure Oh it is
It's a song by Bjork
Bjork okay
This is Sarah
Looking for someone who wants to go 50-50 with me on buying a 12 foot tall skeleton
From Home Depot
I'm a redhead who's as pale as a sick Victorian era child
Can't tan but I do radiate sunshine
Smile emoji
Ah damn that's like a 9
Maybe even a 10 I love that
Yes very good also
that 12 12 foot tall skeleton oh man you know what i'm gonna give it a 10 i'm also i i'm i'm
giving it a 10 as well i actually matched with this person so well you can tell them they got
a 10 on this episode i'm flexing right now you can't see it but i hope you i hope you can hear
it i can hear it i'm doing it
too sorry all my muscles are in the way of the audio thank you very much for listening friends
that's gonna do it for this week we really appreciate you if for some reason you've
listened to this episode you're like the itch hasn't quite been scratched. I need more.
Maybe one more today if you're listening to it on release day.
And maybe also like 13 extra ones just to sprinkle around my life whenever I want.
With another additional one every month.
How could I do that though?
It seems impossible.
You head on over to fbuddiespodcast.com.
You click the Patreon link.
You sign up.
$3.
We love you.
That is a great level of support, and we appreciate you.
But for $7 every month, you get access to our Patreon-exclusive show, Pillow Talk, where we get loosey and goosey.
We have a lot of fun.
We do all the things you want us to do, and then sometimes even more, sometimes things you don't want us to do.
But then you're like, oh, wait, I did want that.
I did want that.
I did want that.
That's not the image I want to put out.
But wait, Dane, that's less than the price of a beer a month.
It's true.
But it also would be really helping out Nile and Dane.
It would.
So think about this every time you ordered a lemonade it's
time to give back to the men that you have taken so much from you've taken look lemonade manhunt
thrill kill i think we've suffered enough and i think it's about time we get our seven dollars a
month if we hit 25 subscribers me and dame will find manhunt somewhere and do a live stream of us
we we will code our own manhunt uh please come support us and we love you guys and we're actually
gonna go record that episode right after this so if you like this energy it's only gonna get
weirder it is gonna get weirder and you know how much of a struggle it's gonna be for me not to
talk about manhunt all the way through Pillow Talk?
Yeah, we have to do a hard
reset and flush of our Manhunt
energy. Or maybe not. Do some
bad sex writing for us. You know I do.
You know I do.
This is from the novel Jaws.
The goods were good. The lines in her
neck were few and barely noticeable.
Her face was unblemished and unscarred.
There were no droops or
sags or pouches. She stood straight and mired the contours of her breasts. Her waist was slim,
her belly flat, the reward for endless hours of exercise after each child. The only problem,
as she assessed her body critically, was her hips. By no stretch of anyone's imagination were they
girlish. They signaled motherhood. They were, as Brody once said,
breeders' hips. The recollection
brought a quick flash of remorse,
but excitement quickly nudged aside.
Her legs were long, and below
the pad of fat on her rear, slender.
Her ankles were delicate,
and her feet, with the toenails neatly
pruned, were perfect enough to suit
any pedophile.
Well, I don't know if that's the word you want to use
i misread it's pedi pedophile yeah there it is there it is trying to say they were like
childlike feet i was like that's real fucked up dude no pedophile pedi pedophile it's i mean also
hey dude it just maybe just not like foot fetish like it it's a weird thing to say. Anyway,
the weirder thing is this is about the shark.
Yeah,
they're really into the shark.
And also it's so horrifying that they didn't put the toenails on the shark in the movie,
even though it's obviously a huge feature in the book.
It's why I,
I refuse to watch the movie.
They strayed so far from the book
that I just can't respect it.
I just can't respect the director's vision
to take away my big titty shark.
I do love that they really go into
the shark's motherhood in depth, though.
It really makes you empathize.
They fucked up.
They fucked the movie up.
It's a bad movie.
My name is Dave Miller.
And my name is Niles Spade.
And we've been your fuck buddies
You