F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast - Episode 263 - Top Tier Dain

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

It doesn't matter what your feminine energy is, this Dain is ALWAYS top tier.  Topics include a good reason to not sleep over, when can you ask to hook up again, should you date a racist stalker, light side and dark side feminine energy, stockpiling your nudes. 

I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. I put my trust in you, and then I trust in love. I put my trust in you, I put my trust in love. Hello friends, my name is Dane Miller. And I'm Mal Spain. And we're your fuck buddies. We are a dating and sex advice podcast where we take your sticky, sexy situations, turn them into sexy, sticky situations.

Simply put, we are a sex and dating advice podcast. We find questions either online from our wonderful listeners, and we answer them right here, right now, in your ears, every Monday. Did we do this last time we were in the closet together? We're in the closet again together. Did we have the boomer or did I put the thing in between us? I don't know, but it's weird because it's like blocking out your face and I'm just jumping side to side. Dane, where else can you find Fuck Buddies if you have a hankering? You already, you've just looked at us for 18 seconds and you want more.

Where else? It's, yeah, Patreon. Damn. If you want an extra episode every month, we do a weekly episode. As you know this, we've never missed an episode in the five years. Crazy. That's coming up too, I think our five year anniversary. Probably now-ish.

Around here. Maybe this is our five year anniversary episode. Damn, we should have popped a bottle. I don't know. Hey, let's just do it next week. If you're like, damn, I wish there was one extra. I could really get through this tough times if I just had one more extra episode. Well, you could for a small donation, a small contribution to the coffers to keep this show going, keep food in our bellies, keep the episodes getting edited.

And you get an extra episode every month on Patreon. So patreon.com slash F buddies, or just head on over to f buddies podcast.com and click the patreon link yeah also there is still time when this episode comes out we will be four days away from our show on the 26th black sheep yep ten dollar tickets two hours of fun and chaos maybe more depending on when you arrive and when you leave. Custom cocktails, custom food deals, me and Dane up on stage talking about dicks. Playing just nothing but pitbull. Nothing but pitbull

before the show. It's going to be a lot of fun. We already have a bunch. We had a surge of interest the other day, so a lot have been snapped up. Scooped. You might get lucky. Go buy one. It's a lot of fun, and we love you. But you know what? It's probably time for the actual podcast. You've been good. You've listened. You deserve this.

You ready? This is by the brilliant idiot. And no, I didn't submit it. After sex etiquette. To sleep over or not to sleep over? Hey Reddit, this is a continuation of multiple blah blah blah. Context. I started seeing a girl about a week ago. She is cool. We have a lot in common.

We are both into each other sexually. Went to a casual coffee first date. Context. Context. ate good food, cuddled up to watch the movie. 40 minutes in, I made a move, we had great sex. Cuddled naked for the remainder of the movie. All standard stuff. Another great date. And here comes the question. As soon as the movie ends, around midnight, she gets up to get dressed. I mentioned she can sleep over if she wants to, but it's up to her if she needs to leave. She said she needs to get home, which is perfectly reasonable. I'm sure she had a reason, so I didn't question further, but am I wrong for at least wanting her to give me a good reason for having to leave? Or is a reason not necessary? It wasn't until after she left I realized I've never had a girl not sleep over after sex. This was my first time. For context, I'm 29 and been in many relationships. To my surprise, I felt kind of sad and used. I guess it was my first booty call,

even though she did nothing wrong and it was overall a great date. So Reddit, am I wrong for expecting a sleepover? Is she wrong for not communicating is no one wrong is this normal practice and i never experienced it or is it strange to leave after sex is it needy to feel this way after literally two dates and sex once am i a big old softy internet please share your thoughts on this divisive topic i think at the end of the day it all comes comes down to personal preference. I don't think you're owed an explanation. No. I think a little reason is nice. But at the end of the day, if like maybe it's something maybe she's like, like for me, I have a hard time sleeping.

I have a very, very difficult time falling asleep. Even when I'm in my own bed with my cat purring beside me with all my comforts and all the things, you know, I've got a podcast playing. I don't have to worry about anyone else. And I still have a difficult time sleeping. But add in another person making the bed hot, taking up space. I'm not going to listen to my podcast because I don't want to keep them up.

You know, there's like, I add all these other contributing factors and then add on the anxiety of being like, I don't sleep well. And now there's another person in the bed. I'm just going to be uncomfortable. She's at your place too. So unfamiliar bed, unfamiliar toilet, unfamiliar whatever.

You don't have your clothes. You don't have your toothbrush. You don't have the ability to shower easily without stress. It's not your place, right? Maybe you guys had really delicious Indian food and she just has to go do an absolute fucking... Dumper. Just a huge dumper. And she doesn't want to do that at a dude she's slept with for the first time.

You know what I mean? You would probably be like, this question would be, I can't believe my, I had a really great day and I'm really into her, but she did absolute toilet crimes after. Do you want her to be like, hey, I actually need to rip the biggest dumper? Is that what you want to hear or would you rather

just hear sorry i gotta go home i gotta get home maybe she's got to feed a cat walk a dog who cares it doesn't matter also like it's kind of shitty to me that you're like she needs to give me a good reason like one she doesn't need to give you any fucking reason because it doesn't matter if she wants to go home you can't be like actually that's not valid you have to stay. And then hang cover to the fucking. Yeah, that's balls. And it's like, also, she could be like, oh, I have to be up early for work, which is a standard one that I would say.

And a lot of the time it's lies because I just don't want to stay over, which most of the time has absolutely no bearing on the person. Yeah. It's just what Dane said. I want to be comfortable. I want to be at home. I don't want to wake up and just leave anyway but be a little stinkier and more tired and blah right like fuck that i just want to be home i had a great night i get to go home and be happy and that stays a

good night i don't have to stay and like lie there and not sleep and count down the hours until it's morning and then leave anyway but then my whole day's ruined. Yeah. The other thing of you being like, am I being too needy? No, it's your, I mean,

you're being a little unreasonable, but I wouldn't say you're being needy. If you prefer when someone stays over, that's fine. That's okay. That's your personal preference. You like when people stay over. Yeah.

Great. Some people don't like it. Some people like it in certain situations. there have been times where like i said typically i don't want to stay over and i don't want people to stay over but sometimes you fuck like crazy and then you roll over and in mid cuddle you pass out and then you wake up and it's 7 a.m and you're like oops i spent the night yeah and that was great fine yeah or you're just vibing and you're like, oops, I spent the night. Yeah. And that was great. Fine. Yeah. Or you're just vibing and you're like, just stay, whatever. Like, it doesn't matter. Again, just because I don't generally like it doesn't mean I don't like it.

I've done it a million times, you know, on both sides of it. Maybe let's go through the questions. Sure. We'll answer them rapidly. Yeah. Am I wrong for expecting sleepover? I think yes, because you use the word expect. Yeah.

I think that's it. If the question was, am I wrong for wanting a sleepover? No, no, absolutely not. But you expecting something from a partner that hasn't been communicated. Like if you guys had made the plan of being like, hey, come over, you can spend the night. And it was like sort of a thing that you were doing and you expected it because you had talked about it. Yeah. Different situation.

And then I would also be more on the side of, oh, it's weird that they didn't give a reason because if it was the plan and all of a sudden she's changing the plan you know again not that she needs a valid reason but you know it'll be nice in that situation but in this situation yeah don't expect it when there's no reason to expect it right you can want it all you want once you're chill and i'm not sure you're being chill is she wrong for not communicating no no she did communicate yeah she wanted to go home yeah and like don't hold it against her don't be weird about it is it normal practice i've just never experienced it or is it strange to leave after sex it's totally normal normal yeah again it's i think there is probably a little bit more

societal pressure of staying over for sure yeah but i think nowadays i think a lot more people are a little more open with the fluidity of like sexual relationships of being like oh just because we had sex doesn't mean i now have to like cuddle you and that we then have to go and have breakfast the next morning like that doesn't have to be the staple of a sexual relationship it can be we had a great night we had great food we had great sex and now i'm going to call it a night like i think a lot more people are getting a little bit more personal with their definition of what they want from these yeah it's great is it needed to feel this way after lurried two dates and sex once again i don't think it's needy but i do think it's unreasonable yes i think you wanting it

no problem with that that's fine i think it's great that's what you like but you being weird about it or like holding it against them. Not great. Yeah. It's all perspective. And like the way you view people's autonomy, I think, right. I think you're putting a lot of weight on this.

The fact that you guys have had sex. Now you feel like there's a bit more of a burden of responsibility. Yeah. And it's, I don't necessarily think that is a good way to approach a new relationship or any relationship of being like here are the things that i want and i expect those to be met every time and now that we've added sex into the matter then now all those things need to be met and like you didn't you didn't like go to bat for what you wanted right like you said like oh you can crash here if you

want which like you're obviously gonna say yeah that doesn't mean, hey, I want you to stay over. Yeah. Right. So it's like, I would. Not that I think that's the way forward either. No. But what I'm saying is now that you've done this and you've taken a progressive step forward in your relationship, you can now be like, hey, I actually like, I love when people spend the night. I would love to spend the night with you if you are comfortable. Because also, for all we know, she did it to spare you, right? Yeah.

Maybe she wanted to stay, but was like, oh, I don't know if he wants to. You never know. But like, that's the thing. It's annoying to get annoyed over something you never even like communicated either. And the easiest way to get the things that you want is by letting your partner know that you want them, right? So like, if again, as now said, it's like a lot of people might especially women i feel like probably think like oh he's saying it to be polite yeah and i appreciate that but like i'm gonna bounce so you

communicating that this is something that you like you like having a sleepover after hooking up you like having a sleepover when someone has spent you know like you want them to spend the night great now they know that yeah that guesswork is out and i think say that maybe in between dates yes or before a date yeah to you know front load expectations so that one if they want to they can prepare and be like cool i'm gonna bring pajamas i'm gonna bring a toothbrush or they can be like oh no and don't be pushy because again it is so okay for someone not to want to stay over for a million a million reasons am i just a big old softy maybe that's fine you know like i don't i wonder what you mean i think like do you mean like oh am i just like i think you mean it negatively yeah i don't know i feel like if you meant it negatively i think it

would have been like am i a pussy you know i mean like i think the term softy still has a level of endearment i think to it so i think he's just this is him like testing the social norms like the gender role pool being like am i am i less of a man because i like having women stay over like sexual partner no not at all. It's fine. It's cute. Honestly, if you were chill with their decision and it was just like, ah,

I would like this, but Hey, maybe some other time there'll be no issues here. No, the issues are you kind of taking personal affront at this and like, maybe it wasn't a good enough. Fuck that. Yeah.

She can be like, I just don't want to. Great. That's the reason. Yeah. Now, the only other thing I would pull up, which isn't a question at the end, the feeling used part.

Well, he also said this was a booty call. And I would say it's distinctly not a booty call. For sure. Yeah. You had a whole day. Yeah. You had dinner together. You watched a movie.

You cuddled. You cuddled. You spent time. That's a date night. You had a date night. That's not a booty call. It's not like she called you up at 2 a.m. Showed up, over fucked, and ran away.

Yeah. Which, in that case, I don't even feel like if you've agreed to that, I don't think you can feel used. You know what I mean? If someone calls you at 2 a.m., it's like, I'm going to come over. Let's fuck. And then they fucking leave. It's like, what did you expect?

Roses and dinner at 2 a.m.? It's like, don't lie to yourself about a situation and then feel used after right but that's a different situation this is this i want to know why you would feel used because you wanted to have sex presumably yeah he made the move so you got what you wanted how is that being used yeah honestly like what ended up happening here in my opinion and this has happened i feel like a lot of the time when people want to use the, you know, throw around the I was used, I feel used, I feel taken advantage of and not a, you know, assault way. I feel like a lot of people use that language when they didn't get 100% of what they wanted or what they expect. Yes.

Yes. And it's like, no no you didn't get used you shouldn't feel used just because you didn't receive everything that you wanted out of the night that's not especially when what you want out of the night is just a thing you made up in your head yeah like you've just decided oh i wanted her to stay over once it is but again it's not like you decided all those things right if you're like oh i'll do a movie i want to do this i blah blah blah and then she showed over fucked you and ran away sure if you guys had planned the night you might be like it's weird that she said yes came over had sex with me and then bailed on everything else we planned yeah or she came over and you know drank a really nice bottle of wine

yeah ordered a bunch of food on uber eats made you pay for it and then was like the second you went in for a move she was like oh my cat's sick and then left it's like yeah then sure sure i i would understand it being like i feel a little taken advantage of here that's not to say that buying wine and food oh yeah exactly it means that you have to have sex i think there are people out there who do take advantage of people yes to get meals and stuff like i know this is a weird and wrong comparison to make but it's like buying someone dinner and then being like well i should have sex i expect it isn't in a way obviously it's so much worse but like being like i had sex so now i expect you to

stay over right it's still x doesn't mean y yeah right and it shouldn't and like being like oh you owe me now or like you have to like that's a shit way to be so we did this thing and now this has to happen because that's what i want exactly so just step away from that and like if you can't have sex without feeling used maybe you're not ready to have sex yeah or like examine like what it means for you to feel comfortable in a sexual relationship. And if it is, they need to stay over afterwards, or you feel weird, or you feel used, then I think you definitely

need to work back as to why that is. I think you need to take a couple steps back. You know the answer that someone having sex with you and not staying over makes you feel bad. Lesser or whatever. So you need to,

you know, the answer work back to where that problem, like where the question was asked of being like, Oh, maybe you had an ex who cheated on you. And every time they, they didn't stay over, it was a sign that they were going somewhere else.

I mean, like, I don't know, but like, there's gotta be an inciting incident there. Like a lack of worth where you feel like your personality isn't good enough, but you got a great dick. I don't know, but there's got to be an inciting incident there. Or a lack of worth where you feel like your personality isn't good enough, but you got a great dick. I don't know.

But even then, that's not your partner's problem. Nope. You know what I mean? I don't think you go, oh, I realize this, and then say, because I have this issue, you now need to stay over. You have to stay over. It's not their fault. No.

It's not on them. It's on you to work around that. If doing this is going to make you feel bad then don't have sex don't do a thing you don't want to do yeah right especially if it's conditional if your happiness is then conditional on something exactly that is someone isn't required to do yes and also they don't even know they're meant to do because it's all in your head so be chill please yeah i mean here's something sort of like in the same line of things. This is a 1-800-BAY-LOVER kid. Is it okay to ask him if he wants to hook up again?

How long should I wait until we hook up again? So me and this guy, we were in college together and living in the dorms. And one night, I was going through a hard time. He said, I can come over and talk about it. We talked about it, among other personal stuff, and it led to sex. The time he brought it up, or that time he brought it up, and the second time we hooked up, I brought it up up but we hooked up for the second time on monday and i really want to have sex with him again and again how long should i wait before asking him if he wants to hook up again

when you want to just ask yeah it's not like oh we hooked up hold on the second hookup wait that adds two hours but the original hookup is seven hours so has to be nine you're forgetting that it did happen on a monday second time monday you multiply it by is it 3.2 it's so the way i remember is it's pretty much pi so it's 3.14 yes okay well i like to round up to 3.2 i know that's not acceptance on circles and that's why i never have had sex just fucking message again it's like there's no hidden secret there's no code there's no like yeah especially with this like you've hooked up not once but twice no one's like oh she wants to have sex with me again fuck i hate having sex with a person that

i've had sex with twice yeah no like just be like hey that great. Let's fuck. Yeah, I mean, you guys are in college and you guys are hooking up and I don't know what it was like the second time, because the first time it seemed like you guys were actually hanging out and then one thing led to another and boom, now you're fucking. But was the second time a similar situation?

Were you guys hanging out and then it just kind of happened again? Or did you just message? Yeah, did you say, Hey, I want to fuck. Cause it's like, I worry that she's like, Oh, but I did it the second time. So he has to do it the third time.

Or like, Oh, I can't, no one cares. No one cares. They do. They're not worth fucking. If they're like,

Oh, the kind of girl that's going to ask me to have sex with her twice in one week. Like then that's some person that needs to grow up a lot and you don't have the time to waste. Now, I do want to say there is a fine line of being like, don't text this dude every day. Sure. I think there's a level of tact that you need to... Well, I don't want to say every day.

Sort of pace yourself. You don't want to annoy someone. Especially if you're someone with a high sex drive, be like, come fuck me, come fuck me, come fuck me, come fuck if that like for me even if i do want to fuck you every time you say it i think it would burn me out a little bit of being like you know i need a little bit of like i want to live oh yeah and i want to like i want to watch you again right like i want to see someone so i feel like once you start seeing someone especially this fast and this close together i feel like there is sort of a risk of running of being like oh we've kind of like burnt this out like way too fucking fast the good thing is it's no different to having a friend or

you know what i mean i think you could also be like hey let's hang out let's hang out yeah like that would be annoying or like oh let's go on a date let's go on a date or like come over like so it's not like a special oh sex thing it's just a general tact thing it's a understanding people's time and understanding that like i think it's an attachment thing right i think a lot of people i think it happens it gets exacerbated when sex is involved because most people get fucking weird the second yes that is part of the equation so it's like yeah just my only issue is or like my only warning outside of the advice of being like ask him to hook up whenever you want to hook up is make sure you're not being overly aggressive or overly like doing it way too fucking much. I also think it's worth maybe not right now, but pretty soon having a chat and being like,

oh, so, you know, what's the etiquette here? Are we just fucking? And if so, is it going to be kind of a I'm in the neighborhood? I'll pop right over or I'll text you like and I'll see you tonight or like let's plan a date. Yes. Yes. Or let's actually date.

You know what I mean? Is it going to be hanging out and fucking, just fucking, spontaneous fucking? Or are we actually going to try to make this work? Because you did have a deep personal chat that first time. So it's like, you know, it's always nice to know where you stand. And I think we've told, I know we've said this a million fucking times. Don't do it. What are you looking for?

Say, this is what I'm looking for. Yeah. And then hopefully they'll be honest back. Right? Like if you want something super casual, be like, Hey, I really like hooking up with you. I just want something super casual. Are you cool with that? Yeah.

Or if you want something more, say that. Don't be like, what do you want? Yeah. And hope that. Yeah. It's always way better to be like, Hey, I've really enjoyed the time that we've spent together and I would love to see you more. That's like,

you don't even have to say like, I want to date you. I don't know. It's still new. So just being like, Hey, I want to see you more. Let's grab drinks one night.

Let's go actually out for a date. Yeah. Put that on the table and see where it is. You know, hopefully if he reciprocates the honesty and what he's looking for, he might just be like, I'm actually kind of looking for just like quick hookups. And then great.

Be honest with yourself. Is that okay with you? Is it not? If it is great. If it's not, don't be like, yeah, it's fine. And then ruin your life. Yeah. Okay.

This is from dramatic buddy. Three, two, two, nine. A guy I met today showed up suddenly near my apartment. I met this guy today at a subway station and we were hitting it off and we exchanged contacts. I got home a few hours ago and we were texting and chit-chatting. Things were going well and we were planning on going on dates sometime soon. After a while, he asked me which subway station I live nearby and if I live far from it and I told him the station and the street I lived on, which in hindsight, I don't think was a good idea to tell him. Questions from him started to get weird and he texted me then saying he's nearby and asked me if I wanted to come out

and make out with him. I was really weirded out. I told him, why didn't he tell me so we could have planned this? And he responded, oh, I don't see why it's a big deal, blah, blah, blah. I told him it's kind of weird to show up unannounced near a girl's apartment you've just met today. And to my surprise, he literally said, that's such an Asian woman mindset. And I was like,

what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Then he kept blabbing about how it was weird of me to make a big deal out of it. He still asked if I'm coming out after all that, and I was genuinely a little concerned for a second, and I stopped replying. It might be the fact that I'm a little tired right now, but I literally started to ask myself, am I making it a big deal, or is he

gaslighting me? I thought things were going so well, but then he pulled this out of nowhere, and I don't know if I should still talk to him. Any advice? Yeah. I know I say this a lot, but it's like I'm always worried that eventually we'll talk about everything. Eventually, you know, there will be no more questions. But then at least once a week we get someone being like, hey, a dude who followed me more or less home from the subway

then was super racist to me and then told me I should just come outside of my home and make out with him. Should I keep talking to him? This guy scared me so much I stopped replying to him. Is it because I'm sleepy?

Is it because I'm a little sleepy girl? Like, this racist stalker. Sleepy Asian girl. Very important. It's like, you're not'm a little sleepy girl. Like, this racist stalker. Sleepy Asian girl. Very important. Yeah. It's like, you're not just a little sleepy. You're being stalked and abused. Like, already.

It's day one. Yeah. Like, literally, should I make out with this racist stalker? That's your question. You've gone on the internet and you have asked, should I make out? Should I keep talking? Should I go on a date with a racist stalker that's your question who's gaslighting me immediately yeah like no

this dude is a like is there a step beyond red flag he's just a flagpole with like nails through them and he's outside your window and he's waving it at you. And he's yelling slurs. It's like that scene from Say Anything, the end with John Cusack raises up the boombox outside your window. Except this is a bunch of knives. It's knives with red flags attached to them. And he's waving them at you. No. Also, let's rewind a bit. Don't give your address out to strangers.

Don't even like... I always, whenever I on like a dating app and i want to sort of like plan a location for the date i always say like what area of the city are you in because i never want to be like where do you live yeah like even though it's probably pretty obvious that i'm not asking for your exact address it's still a question i don't want to be asked and it's a question i don't want to ask people so i always say like what neighborhood are you in like what area of the city are you in? Even if you keep it as generic as

I'm West End, East End, whatever, then I can be like, okay, cool. If you're East and I'm West, then I'll find something central. And if you're both West, I'll find a cool place in West. I was working the other day and there was three dudes who were aggressively arguing

which recess character they and their friends were. And I was like, I don't think I've ever watched it. This is great. I watched a little bit of it. It was on either before or after a show I actually watched, and I don't remember what it was. I think it was Gargoyles. Hell yeah. Now that I watched. Right? But I might be wrong.

Yeah. Just, no, don't, don't. This guy sucks shit. He's so bad. He might be a criminal actually he sounds like he's acting like a criminal he's cosplaying as one currently yeah there's nothing good about this just block the number and i mean like the problem is like does know where you roughly yeah so you like he's gonna be walking up and down your street hoping to bump into you oh for sure and that sucks you need a costume no like it does happen you's going to be walking up and down your street, hoping to bump into you. Oh, for sure. And that sucks. You need a costume.

No, like it does happen. You do need to be like, Hey, I'm sorry. I'm not interested. If I do see you around again, I will have to call a cop.

So like, please like, oops, we made mistakes. Not interested. Thank you. Move on. Yeah.

And that needs to be very clear and be safe be really really safe first time you see him you need to be hey you can't be doing this is super creepy second time you pull out your phone start recording because that's danger times yeah even first time might be i don't know just this guy sucks do not please please do not see this person yeah do yourself favors put yourself in good positions don't do this dangerous awful thing that you know is bad we all know it's bad why are you even asking that's the thing like please i'm not trying to like shame you or anything i'm just trying to help you and this is worrying me don't do this it's very important imagine anytime you wonder

if you should still see someone or give someone a second chance what you need to do is try to boil down the events that led you to questioning this into what you would like how you would describe a movie like a log line of a movie be like woman meets man in subway station he follows her home like says racially insensitive remarks i don't even think you need to go that far yeah that's enough right like i think just like man and woman meet in subway he follows her home and stands outside her house or yeah type that into google and see what genre of movie comes up because let me guess it's gonna be horror yeah and wicker park do you ever watch wicker park so wicker park i believe was a josh hartnett movie it's josh hartnett and i think it's like a live action recess right i wish wish oh man josh hartnett's such a dj

i think i don't know i that's a called shot i think dj is the main character you don't know who josh hartnett is i probably do the name rings a bell i don't fucking know he was one of those he was like one of the flash in the pan's like heartthrobs like everyone was like oh he's so hot anyway if it's not chad michael murray i don't like one of the flash in the pan's heartthrobs Everyone was like oh he's so hot If it's not Chad Michael Murray I don't know or care The whole like the trailer for Wicker Park Makes the thing seem like a dark Thriller like psychological horror And it's just like a romantic

Are you mixing up with town? No I'm positive Mr. Batfleck he was a heartthrob He's in that I know what the town is Yeah are they the same thing? Is Wicker Park in a town? Is Wicker Park in a town? Wicker Park is

in Chicago. Which is a town. Town of Chicago. Do they wear masks and heist a bank, maybe? No. Why do you think I'm thinking of the town? I just feel like you are. I'm not. Did they come out the same year? I don't know. Seems convenient. Okay. Oh, is it my

question? I can answer more if you want. No, I got it. This one's convenient. Okay. Oh, is it my question? I can answer one more if you want. No, I got it. This one's great. Okay. Now you go. Now you go. No, it's still good. All right.

You're just going to start talking about the town again anyway. It's actually about the town, which is why I know. Now, this is a question for you. Firstly, actually, I'm just going to replace Doom Man, and I'm just going to say, I'll replace that with Dane. Okay. And you're going to tell me how true this is. Sure.

This is by Throwaway Okidoki. Does Dane actually care about dark or light feminine energy of women? Met a strange woman who told me that 90% of Dane likes women with

dark feminine energy. Mysterious, intimidating, reserved, sexy, etc. Instead of light feminine energy. Innocent, approachable,

bubbly, optimistic, smiley, and such. She told me I have light feminine energy and described me as rainbow and sunshine to other people, and that the 10% leftover of quality Dane who likes women with light feminine energy are actually top-tier Dane, but are incredibly hard to find. This woman is near her mid-30s, quite successful, and networks like crazy. She claims she can read people easily, because she has a degree in psychology.

I thought it was incredibly dumb to label and categorize women into two different groups, because people are much more complex than that. While I do come off happy when seeing someone, there's a whole other side of me I hide from people in fear of becoming a burden to someone, and most times prefer to keep my dark past slash upbringing and anything about my family

private. I don't converse with Dane very much, but was curious if this is a thing. I do like the part of the question where you said I was top-tier Dane. Only 10% of you slash all the Danes. Yeah. I mean, you are correct. It's bad to categorize

anyone into very narrow... Yeah, just the binary of two types of women. Yeah. That's it. And, like, the idea of, like, light yeah that's it and like the idea of like light and dark what like it's hate yeah keep going i'll drop it on the end of the map but keep going because like when you were like oh dark feminine energy where it's like i love me a spooky blade dame does love but if you look at sort of like my recent dating trajectory, I would also put the bubbly optimistic,

like that is very much a thing that I look for in people. And you could also be spooky and that like, it's funny that there's not just two types of people. Yes. So it's very, very annoying that you're like, Oh, she can read,

like you can read people. And like, I could go and be like, I could come up with classifications for people and be roughly correct. That's what horoscopes are. Yeah, it's like she's been pretty vague. Yeah. And that's kind of

the point. Also, why are you saying a strange woman? I met a strange woman and she told me this thing and it rocked my worldview. It's like maybe don't just listen to strange weirdos. And you're like, how do you know she's successful? Because she told you like how do you know how do you know she's successful because she told you yeah i don't know she has a degree in psychology because she told you yeah let me tell you i have people tell me i'm a bartender i have people tell me

crazy shit all the time i had a dude once tell me he wrote the riff to eric clapton's leila and then told me that he has so much money that tipping doesn't make any sense. So he gave me a burned CD of him playing music at what sounds like a high school auditorium to a crowd of like seven people. Hell yeah. That's got to be priceless. He wrote Layla. Yeah. It's like, so yeah. And Dane sold that, got a degree in psychology with the money.

And now he has a podcast. I have a successful podcast. Yeah. I just, I don't understand like no stop this makes no sense this is dumb this is like seduction but for women look and by that i mean the shitty subreddit seduction not yeah if you want to you know operate your life by putting your energy in two categories and be like oh today's a light energy today's a darkening that's fine do it whatever sounds like an awful way to live but sure yeah but like it's

you but don't accept someone who's just said crazy shit to you and then accept that as true a real world view and then try to go forward and continue to classify human beings that have you yourself are like oh i do an outward presenting of light and bubbly but i actually like have all this like i have a dark past and a rough family life and i don't want to be a burden on people it's like it is wild that she's like a strange woman told me this thing and like you yourself writing this post prove it is incorrect and you're like is it true though yeah look are you the only one you're the chosen one that's both light and dark like the avatar the last airbender not the blue boys light dark everything was fine until the dark nation

attacked you can't say that yeah i felt bad I'm just gonna take back all the Avatar stuff. It doesn't really work. But yeah, this is stupid. You know it's stupid. Stop it. Don't listen to strange women. Yeah. I can just imagine it's just a woman who's fucking 12 espresso martinis deep

on a Tuesday night just saying absolute... Definitely wearing cheetah print something animal print for sure big glasses I'm seeing like a white streak in the hair you know what I mean like that sort of like rogue

from X-Men streak in the hair for sure for sure for sure for sure if you look and act like this we're sorry but maybe stop telling people about the light-dark binary. This is... Ooh. Actually, no. I think we gotta get out of here. Let's do a quick one. Well, we did spend a lot of

time when you were looking for your questions. It was like one minute. It was twelve minutes. This is Sammy... with a bunch of Ms. Times three. Do you keep nudes after the end of a relationship slash situationship, etc.? Is it normal to keep nudes or videos or sexual acts after you stop communicating with the person? Do you delete them if someone asks?

Or do you wait for the other person to say they don't want or that they want you to delete them? I've never had anybody say they want me to delete their nudes. But I also definitely haven't when I broke up and someone run to my computer and deleted them. So no and no. So no, and no, I mean, for me, it's like,

I don't really save nudes. Yeah. Right. Like, so I don't, it's not like I have, like I said, so it's like the way I would do that would be like remove all like archive all my,

like delete my text chain with you, uh, you know, delete my Instagram history. You know what I mean? Like that would be my way of like deleting nudes. So it's like, no.

Yeah. But I, at the same time, it's like, if there is one like saved on my phone for whatever reason, I'm not going to go through fucking months or years of fucking photos and like archived images and shit and be like, there's that one,

but picture. Exactly. Especially like, it's not like, Oh, we broke up. Whether it was you or that, I was like, I hate one butt picture exactly especially like it's not like oh we broke up whether it was you or them it's like i hate their butt now i gotta find like if someone asked me to leave them for sure yeah i would make that effort but like if not like i don't know and so here's here's where it comes down to for me is you need to have the foresight of being like this

person no matter regardless of how this relationship, is going to have access to these pictures. There's nothing you can do, like short of breaking in mission impossible style and like wiping all of their hard drives and phones and everything. They're going to have access to these pictures. Yes. So you need to either take the precaution of make sure your face isn't in the pictures so that you can have possible deniability.

And you're like tattoos that will clearly point out which person you are. So it's like, you need to make the choice of being like they are they're always going to have access to it and i have no way of making sure that they do or don't get rid of them ever so you need to either be okay with that yeah and take those precautions or if you don't trust someone don't send them don't send them and that's kind of where it's at. And yes, that sucks, I guess. But like, it also sucks that you have to lock your door and you go out. But I don't think that necessarily sucks because it's... Well, no, it does suck in that like, in a perfect world, you wouldn't have to worry about someone being shitty. That's what I mean, right? It sucks that we live in a world where like, yeah, and like, it makes sense or whatever.

You know what I mean? I get it. I'm just saying it sucks that like, do have to take precautions yeah right so it's like you know be smart about what you've sent people be smart about who you're sending it to and just don't put your face in your nudes yeah unless you really trust the person that's fine because i'm not gonna try to find all the nudes that you've sent me and yeah that's a lot's like, I don't know. I'm also not gonna be shitty about it, so I don't even need to. Um, you ready for

some tindies? And by that I mean you got some for me? Because guess what, Dane? I have one and I think I'm saving it for the live show. Okay, that's cool. Thank you to everyone who's here so far. It's time for tinders and then I'll do the actual thanks at the end. I do have one, I think. Don't I?

I don't. I thought I saved one. So we're going to hop on to online dating platforms at the end of the episode. We like to peruse online dating things like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge. Look through the profile, see what works, see what doesn't work, and effort to make your online dating experience a little more

enjoyable. This person doesn't have a profile. So right now, oh yeah, I guess we can look at it together. Here's Paige. She's 26. Looking for fun. Let's see where this goes. Kind of connection. No, don't look at me like that.

I work in broadcast television as well as events. I don't drink, but I don't care if you do. It's wild. What a simple Diet Coke will do for me. Stop it. It's not even like it's gross. And I was making weird tongue. Ugh. It made you focus

better. I love all things nature and have a desire for travel in the near future. Bonus points for her sense of humor and sense of adventure. And then, oh, she has like little, there's little prompts now on Tinder. Who knew? The hottest thing you can do is suggest we leave the party early to go home and cuddle on the couch and I'll ask you for back ropes.

My go-to karaoke song is Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Pres presley me i'm a grown-up also me let's play hooking going on an adventure you know what i like it i like it too i think it's a solid eight it is good it could be it could have a little bit more specificity at the start i don't know i couldn't really hear a lot of it because I was busy making weird faces at Dane. And he also misread it five times, so it kind of became... You don't... Hey, it could have been edited out. Who knows? Well, now they know. Maybe I got it in one. Now they know.

But overall, 8. I especially like the karaoke song. Boom, instant personality there. And the playing hooky adventure, they just seem sweet. So, 8. Man, I... So there's an ad here on Instagram for some sort of... Instagram or Tinder? Sorry, Tinder.

For a sex service of some sort. And I really want to read the URL, but I don't want to give free advertisement or lead anyone to a website that's bad. I see it. It's... But I won't say it. If you want to know, reach out to me on a social media platform and i'll and i'll tell you what does it mean i don't know this is sammy looking for a serious relationship ready to settle down looking for connections that share similar interests and looking for a fun time

exploring the city together is that it that's it oh i want you to share similar interests oh what ones are they yeah well wait what ones are they wait that's it you're done it's a four oh hold on here are their interests down at the bottom okay i guess you can choose five interests uh sushi travel hot springs walking home Okay. She loves walking. She loves walking. Yeah. Hey, are you interested in walking? I do more of it than most people. Cool.

Well, perhaps you and Sammy are a match made in heaven. Maybe. Sammy, you got to do better. It's a four. It's a four. Very powerfully generic. Yeah. This is, oh boy, Khadija.

Khadija. I think it's Khadija. Aboutija. I think it's Kadija. About me. I'm an artist and producer here in Toronto. I sing, rap, song write, beat make, etc. Looking to meet someone chill, to vibe with. I do have a disability that affects my legs, so mobility is a little challenging. 420 friendly.

I'm a little shy, so don't hesitate to message first. I like it. At least, like, I appreciate that they get things up front that needs to be set up front and they sound cool because they're musician and an artist uh so it's gonna be seven i still probably do a little bit more but seven yeah i feel like you've given enough crumbs to i can start i can like start building a rapport with you you know yes like i can talk about the music you're making, et cetera, et cetera. So that's something I love when people mention that they do art.

Yeah. Because it gives you the opportunity to be like, I do art too. What art do you do? Let's talk about art. Being able to talk to creative people about creativity is great. I love it. And also someone who gets it. Here is another

one. This is Carly. Smokers and vegans, and if you're allergic to dogs, you can swipe left. Hope you like country music and cottage weekends, and really just need a... Oh, weird that they say and here. Really just need a guy willing to go to any and all concerts. It's all about

finding someone you want to get a dog with. I hate the first line it's weird to be like vegans and people who are allergic to dogs it's like i understand the smoker thing so you know i also kind of like if you have dogs i also understand the like if you're allergic to dogs we're probably not going to work out but i feel like at the end like with the line with the dog like that's a pretty good way of mentioning you really want dogs that will still probably have the same intended effect you know what i mean yeah i mean like it does it is wild that she has one two three four five six picture or six dogs in her and all the dogs are different damn so i don't know if are those all your dogs that's a lot do you even have

it are you just stealing people yeah she seems to want a dog. Or is it like every time she gets with someone, she gets a dog with that person, and then when she breaks up, well... Yeah, almost all of her pictures are dogs. Weird. Or her cuddling dogs. But I do find it weirdly negative, and I think if you just say you want to get a dog or something, it'll come up. Yeah. You know what I mean?

And also, you have six dog pictures. If someone's allergic to dogs and they see that and don't get the fact that they're going to die, then, you know. So, it's going to be a five. I'm going to say it's a four. I don't love it. Fair. This is Tay.

About me. POV, you're the future king of the pirates. And then in brackets, I'm the one piece. That's it. POV. You're the future king of the pirates. And then in brackets, I'm the One Piece. That's it. Love it. 10 out of 10. Me. I'm a grown up. Also me. Plays dress up and watches cartoons. I can beat you in a game of Mortal Kombat 3.

I want someone who will watch One Piece with me. This person's great. I meant I was joking with the 10 out of 10 but honestly, I'll give it like a 9. It is. There's's personality they seem funny they seem fun they're unashamed of like the nerdy things they're into which I particularly love

fuck yeah yeah and they're funny so great this is the last one this is Angie exploration and growth are my vibes I'm a sweetheart with some sass who values communication and authenticity I've never met a long drive that i didn't like i'm into learning new things spending times outdoors especially

by a lake or bonfire live music photography the drive-in and big hugs this is one of the prompts is the hottest thing you can do is be emotionally intelligent and not or discriminatory in any way yeah okay i originally read that as emotionally intelligent, not in a, Oh, not in a discriminatory way. It's like, what does that mean? Is that it? Is it?

Um, it's so bland and vague. It's not bad, but it's not good. If you were specific about the things you're talking about a little bit more, I would give you more, but I think it's like a six. Yeah.

I think six is where it needs to go. Once again, you're doing the thing of being like, I look for authenticity. Yeah. No, no one's looking for someone inauthentic. That's not what we're doing out here.

Right. So just stop with that. Yeah. Cool. That's going to do it for the episode. Friends. Thank you very much for hanging out with us. As now mentioned at the beginning of the episode,

we do have a live show coming up. So if you're listening to this, when it comes out, it's October 26th, Thursday at the Black Sheep Cocktail Bar in Liberty Village in Toronto. Tickets are $10. You can get them on our website. Just go to fblazepodcast.com, click the live show. It'll bring you right there. It's a great night.

It's a lot of fun. You can bring a group. It's more fun with friends. It's a really, really good vibe, and we would love to see you there. And people are getting more rowdy every time, and we fucking love it. We had one where it was bad rowdy. It was drunk, bad view rowdy. But now it's rowdy in the best way.

And even then, it was just a little bit. It was a little bit. We have one heckler that wasn't even a few. Did that come through in the recording? I haven't listened to it. Yeah, well, we'll see. It's been a lot of fun. It's so gratifying

to look out at a room full of the coolest fucking people and be like, damn. It's like when you can judge yourself by the measure of your friends. If we can judge ourselves by the measure of our fucking audiences, we're doing fucking alright right because you guys rock so if you want to be another person i look at and tear up a little bit and think wow then come and if you want to watch me play pitbull on spotify for then come early yeah come early thank you very much thank you josh

eagle novices for the song be reserves yeah all. All right. For some bad sex writing. This one's pretty great. And by that, I mean really bad. Okay. This is, I believe a post made on Reddit. Jesus Christ. Just prepare yourself. I already linked this in another comment.

We've succeeding in modifying rat neurons in vivo within the next year or two. We'll be able to modify human brains to increase pair bonding ability and make it so that women don't care about things like money or height anymore. This will be a good thing for everyone in bold. Why would you ever even try to disagree with that? Why would women being genuinely equally attracted to men, regardless of things like money or height or status or whatever, somehow be a bad thing for women or men? How would widening your sexual preferences be a bad thing for you? I'd say the same thing with men, but men aren't the ones with restricted preferences. There's nothing to lose. Seriously, think about this. If you're throwing

a tantrum being told you shouldn't care about how tall a guy is or how much money he makes, yet you think you're the good guy here, how? Yeah, men have never been known to have any sort of physical preferences when it comes to women. Yes, and like going into a woman's brain and tampering with it

so that she finds you attractive and you can fuck her, that's a normal normal good thing that good guys do. It's fixing not tampering. Sorry, you're completely correct. Correcting the mess that is women's brains to make them find your incel ass

so hot that's just really just correcting God's plan. And it's good for everyone. It's good for absolutely everyone. Especially the women whose brains have been fixed. Not tampered with. Exactly. Jesus, this makes me ill to read, actually.

I just love that people are like, oh yeah, men don't have any sort of bad views about no no you know physical characteristics about women and they certainly don't go on you know social media to broadcast their absolute anger anytime a woman who might be slightly overweight or a woman who is one body type has put on weight or lost weight or maybe if a woman has slept with someone maybe once or twice or anything we would never slut shame never judge for that. Say if a famous pop star started dating a football player, I'm sure that would be fine.

Anyway, my name is Dave Miller. And my name is Niles Payne. And we've been your Funk Buddies. you