Financial Feminist - 176. Mindset Shifts to Help You Make Million-Dollar Decisions with Rachel Rodgers

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Tori is joined by CEO of Hello Seven and Best selling author, Rachel Rodgers, to discuss the essential mindset shifts necessary for making million-dollar decisions. Their conversation addresses setting boundaries, understanding the relativity of wealth, embracing your value, and the critical decisions that help pave the way to financial success. They also dive into how to balance remote work, family, and personal finance while stressing the importance of community and effective planning. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or just looking to elevate your financial game, this episode is for you! Rachel’s links: https://helloseven.co/ https://rachelrodgers.com/ https://rachelrodgers.com/book/ Read transcripts, learn more about our guests and sponsors, and get more resources at: https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/mindset-shifts-to-help-you-make-million-dollar-decisions-with-rachel-rodgers/  Not sure where to start on your financial journey? Take our FREE money personality quiz! https://herfirst100k.com/quiz Special thanks to our sponsors: Thrive Causemetics Get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/FFPOD Squarespace Go to www.squarespace.com/FFPOD to save 10% off your first website or domain purchase. Masterclass Get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com/FFPOD. Indeed Visit indeed.com/FFPOD to get a seventy-five dollar sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who benefits me thinking that making money is bad, right? Who actually is benefiting from that? And is it me? Is it my people? Is it the people that I care about and wanna serve? Who is it helping, right? Keeping myself broke. Hi team, welcome.

Welcome to Financial Feminist. I'm really excited to see you. Thanks for being here. Did you do something new with your hair? It looks great. Keep it up. I hope you're having a lovely summer. I think we're releasing this in summer.

I'm recording this in summer. I feel like I've had more summer in the last week than I've had in the last four years. Like I've swam in multiple lakes. I've swam in a really cold river. I am getting a tan for the first time in my life, which is very exciting. Yeah, I'm just vibing. Things are good. I'm just having a good time.

And this episode, I'm really, really excited Things are good. I'm just having a good time. And this episode, I'm really, really excited for you to hear today because it is not only just really, really helpful and actionable and just powerful, but also because Rachel inspires me to be the baddest, best version of myself. Today's guest is Rachel Rogers, who is the CEO and founder of Hello Seven, a company that teaches women, BIPOC and LGBTQI people how to build a seven-figure business and create generational wealth. She's the author of We Should All Be Millionaires, a woman's guide to earning more, building wealth and gaining economic power. Other books include We Should All Be Millionaires, the workbook, Plan Your Year Like a Millionaire, Million Dollar Habits, and Six Figure Side Hustle. She's the founder of We Should All Be Millionaires,

The Club, an ongoing network for ambitious professionals. The club has helped thousands of people launch successful businesses, build new income streams, and attain financial freedom. And her annual conference ROI, The Millionaire Summit, is a star-studded event featuring the world's top voices on freedom, including Pinky Cole, Rachel Cargill, Furnish Chirabi and visionary entrepreneurs like Tabitha Brown and Arlen Hamilton. She also runs the Hello7 Foundation, a 5013C nonprofit. We talked about a lot in this episode. We talked about the number one tool we both used to become millionaires and how you can emulate or copy us as well.

Her concept for making million dollars decisions instead of broke ass decisions, which is something that I 100% plus one, and the ways in which entrepreneurial women are cutting themselves at the knees by undervaluing their offerings. If you are someone who is trying to build their wealth, who is looking to take care of yourself,

to take care of your family, who is a business owner and wants to become a business owner, any or all of those things, this is going to be an episode for you. And this is one that will be, I think, one of those classic financial feminist episodes that people will be turning to for a very long time. So without further ado, let's go ahead and get into it. But first a word from our sponsors. This episode of Financial Feminist is sponsored in part by ADT, Indeed, Thrive Cosmetics,

and Squarespace. ADT spends all their seconds helping protect all of yours. Count on ADT, America's most trusted name in home security. Visit ADT.com today. Find quality candidates fast with Indeed. Get a $75 job credit for more visibility at Indeed.com slash FF pod. Thrive Cosmetics lets you refresh your everyday look

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I'm like, are we going for six hours or are we going for 20 minutes? Exactly. You never know. Because sometimes you get on these, especially ones in person and you're like, oh, I'm about to have a three and a half hour conversation. I know. Exactly. It's like, let's talk about everything about business that annoys us. Yeah. And you're like, Oh, I'm about to have a three and a half hour conversation. I know. Exactly. It's like, let's talk about everything about business that annoys us. Yeah. And you're like, great therapy. Sounds fun. Are you still in Puerto Rico? Where are you at

right now? I'm in Puerto Rico. Yes. I'm getting ready to leave. So it's like chaos central in here. We're about to leave for a month. Fun. Where are you off to vacation? Yes. We're going to Greece for a month. Fun. Where are you off to? Vacation? Yes, we're going to Greece for a month. Lovely. Beautiful. I'm excited about it. Yes.

We're going actually with this company called Boundless, which is great for entrepreneurs who have kids. Have you heard of it? I've heard of it. I don't know much about it, but I have heard of it. Yeah. So it's like when you travel and you work remotely and you've got kids, there's like a lot of logistics that you're figuring out and this company just does it all for you.

So there's a coworking space, there's a built-in community, they do educational programming for kids. So it's just like all of it's done. I was like, say less, sign me up. Truly. Great. That's like, I remember going on a cruise ship for the first time when I was like eight years old and they have like basically daycare but fun daycare.

And my parents were like, no, you're coming with us. But then I was kind of like, I kind of want to go to fun daycare though. Yes. I kind of want to go to fun daycare. I think your parents did it wrong. I had a great time. I was eating, you know, four slices of pizza a day on the promenade. I was living my best life with my, you know, virgin daiquiris and my PB and jelly, PB and Jade. I was living my best life with my Virgin daiquiris and

my PB&G, PB&J sandwich. I was great. Life was good. Hilarious. To be eight years old on your first cruise. I'm really happy to have you. We love asking financial experts what your first money memory is. What is the first time you remember thinking about money? Yeah. Well, one of the earliest ones, that answer was like, strap in. One of the earliest ones is actually being in the closet, literally sitting on the floor of the closet. We had actually pretty deep closets. This is like old apartments in New York City, where they actually gave you decent closet space back in the day. And we were sitting on the floor of my closet,

me and my mom, and we were taking quarters and pennies and dimes like coins and putting them in those, you know, those rolls. Anybody ever done that if you didn't work at a bank or whatever, which I also did. But but so we were rolling coins because my dad had this side hustle. He always had a hustle. And so the latest hustle was vending machines. And so he shut Rachel, shut the fuck up. Do you know this about me that I owned vending machines as a kid? No, I did not know that. That is so funny. You said rolled quarters and I was like, that was my entire childhood. I owned 15 of the quarter machines

by the time I graduated high school. That's amazing. That was like how I learned about money. That's sorry. That's so funny. I didn't mean to cut you off. I'm like, that's literally, that's so simulation. Yes, that was my life. I thought you were gonna say your dad had vending machines.

No, I did. And then I sold it. I sold the business after 10 years when I was like 20 to a 10 year old who also happens to be named Tori. Wow. That was crazy. I have a photo right over here of the day I sold my business. Talk about passing the torch. Yes. I love that. So yes, I was doing the literally on the floor, we put a beach towel out and then all of the quarters would go down on the beach towel and then we'd have the quarter rolls and you'd roll them up. Yep. That's so funny. Yes. So that's what we were doing because I wanted to go ice skating with my friends.

And like, I always wanted to be doing things. Like I wanted all the hobbies and all the things. And I had friends who were like squarely middle-class where we were like barely holding on to like low, you know, lower middle-class. Really we were low income, but my mom just was a hustler and my dad too. So they just figured out how to get us into things. So we had friends, but all mom just was a hustler and my dad too, so they just figured out

how to get us into things. So we had friends, but all of our friends had more money than us, you know, in most cases. So, and that's what happens is like, you're only as broke as like, you know, your friend group, right, is like, that's kind of how you compare. So even, you know, this used to happen

when I graduated from law school, and there's like all of these quote unquote, wealthy lawyers now that are associates, they're making 150 to $200,000 a year, but they feel broke because they're hanging out with hedge fund managers who are their clients, you know? And the hedge fund managers have make millions. So like they're at 150 to 200k, they felt poor. They were like, I'm low income. And it's like, no, you're not. So the relativity definitely matters when it comes to money and what you're surrounded with.

But yeah, so I was on the floor with my mom, rolling quarters from my dad's latest like, you know, hall that he brought home. He did not own the vending machines. I think somebody paid him to like empty them. And then he got paid a percentage of whatever was in that vending machine and he always got paid in coins. So we'd roll them and rolling them and then taking them to the bank is how I got the $12 that I needed or whatever it was to be able to go ice skating with my friends.

Yeah, so my parents definitely made a life that we could not afford happen. You know what I'm saying? They really worked hard to help me to feel like I could have what my friends had. Of course, I didn't because they had tutoring. I was in the honors classes with all the nerds and they all had tutors and I was super jealous that I did not go to tutoring. I didn't go to Cuma and I didn't have all that. But they did try to help me to feel like my friends. So yeah, so that's probably my earliest that I can

recall memory about money. We've had some astrologers on the show recently. Do you fuck with astrology? Is that something you do? I do. Okay. So what's your sign and what in your charts would say, yes, I'm successful or yes, I'm good at money. Fascinating. I'm an Aquarius and Oprah is an Aquarius. So need I say more? Great.

It's a period. We're done. Next question. Exactly. There's actually a lot of, and of course I'm just tuned into it because I'm an Aquarius. So I know all of the, you know, I pay attention to the successful Aquarius. But I think the fact that I am, I think what people say about Aquarius is that they're innovative, they can be future focused, that we're able to somehow like emotionally disconnect

and like forge ahead, like basically compartmentalize sometimes your emotions, which actually can serve you well when you have to work hard and be disciplined in challenging conditions. You know? So I think those are some of the things that enabled me to be successful that, you know, come from my, my sign. When you were thinking about starting Hello7 and the, all the stuff before it, what part about entrepreneurship felt exciting to you? And was that always something you wanted to do even as you, you know, went to law school had all of that

happen? No, I did not want to be an entrepreneur. I wanted to work as a lawyer in public interest. So I wanted to do like socially good work. And then when I was in my last year of law school, I had my sister and, you know, she had a mentor who like made more money than her, older black woman who kind of like took her under her wing and taught her things. And so the two of them took me to lunch and they were basically like staging an intervention

on like this whole published interest thing is not going to work. You're going to need to make some money. Maybe you could do that later, but right now we need you to make some money and pay these bills. So I had that conversation with them, which I was pretty resistant to. And then when you get towards the end of law school, they take you into a room and then in a small group, because probably they don't want a riot to break out. It's more like just 10 people, not the whole class. In a small group, and they give you a printout of all the loans you've taken, not just law

school, but undergrad as well. So it's kind of like a smack in the face reality check about what has just taken place. So yeah, and they add added all up on one document. And then they show you like what your payments might be looking like. And that was a horrific experience. Yeah. So that was the defining moment where I was like, Oh yeah, that conversation that I had, we're going to have to get this money. Let's talk about that for a second, because I'm because you and I are obviously very mission driven. I think most of the women that listen to the show, I would say all of them, mission driven

who want to do good things in the world. And I think we've talked about it on our show before, but this fallacy of nonprofit or mission driven work is like, I need to not be compensated very well. That's just what's going to happen. And I can't quote unquote sell out. And what my opinion is of all of that is it's like you can do mission work and also get fucking rich. And I would argue that that in and of itself is mission driven work because you're taking care of yourself. So like maybe speak on that because I think that I see with so many women, they feel like it's a choice either selling out and making a bunch of money or doing the right thing.

Yes. Yeah. I think all of that is part of our belief that we've bought into in society that rich people are bad and that rich people do bad things. Rich people do bad things and poor people do bad things and everybody in between does bad things. Money is inherently neutral. It has not, it has no moral value. It's what you do with it.

Correct. And so if you are a good person and you do care about the world, giving somebody like that a powerful tool of money, right, can enable you to only further that mission. So I think it's really important, but we have to attack those thoughts and recognize where they come from.

And like, who benefits me thinking that making money is bad, right? Who actually is benefiting from that? And is it me? Is it my people? Is it the people that I care about and want to serve? Who is it helping, right? Keeping myself broke. So please, if you do nothing else, change that story in your mind. But yes, and also too, there's also this like fake nobility that comes with it. Like I'm better than others because I don't care about money. And I'm just like, I call bullshit. You're lying to yourself and everyone else, right? You don't have to be miserable. I have friends who are activists and have been activists for years. And they are very about their financial well being as well, right? Like they know that their ability to continue to do the important work that they're doing

comes from their ability to also take care of themselves, you know? So this idea that we have to be starving and that proves that we care is nonsense. And it's, you know, fed to us by patriarchy and racism and everything else that's designed to keep the people that I want to help from having money in their pocket. So I'm like, if I'm not doing work that puts money in black and brown people's pockets and queer people's pockets and all of the people who are constantly marginalized by our society systemically, then what I'm doing doesn't matter. So that's how I feel. So like I could be an activist standing on a corner with a sign. And I think, you know,

there are ways and sometimes that does that can move the needle and put money in people's pockets. But I want a more direct path for me. That's what matters to me. Like, did I do something that put money in the pockets of people who need it, so that they can take care of themselves and make and decide for themselves what's important and take care of their own communities, right? Like to me, that's what matters. So once I figured out how to do it for myself, I was going to do it for them too. And I think those two things, making money and helping other people can actually go hand in hand. And obviously a lot of wealthy people are the biggest philanthropists because they have the money to give away. Some of them are doing it for tax purposes, but I think, I believe a lot of people are giving money away for good reasons. I've met a few billionaires this year and I had all of these

preconceived notions before spending time with them. And then once I spent time with them, I was like, oh, so you're just basically me later on in life with more money and more resources. And you care a lot and you spend a lot like you back up your caring with money, right? And you use your money to do good things. So I think we just have this view but in reality We like to categorize people billionaires are bad rich people are bad These kinds of people are good. These kinds of people are bad and it's just really not that simple. Unfortunately We've had them on the show and they were also in my book debt-free guys They're a gay couple and they came on the show and they were also in my book, Debt Free Guys, they're a gay couple.

And they came on the show and they talked about we would go to these functions for queer at risk youth and we would give all of this money. And then we'd come home and realize that we were still $30,000 in credit card debt. So it's like, that doesn't work. You can't be a philanthropist if you are completely broke yourself. You can't, I mean, as cheesy as it sounds like, you can't pour from an empty cup. And so to your point too about like the glamorization of that or like the nobility of it, like, no, you're just fucking yourself over and fucking your family and your community. Like

you think you're doing good, but you're not doing good if you are not whole yourself. Exactly. You're cutting off the opportunity, right? To me, this whole idea of like, I don't need to make money because I don't care. And it's like, okay, well, if you don't need money, who does? Who do you care about that does need money and go get it for them? Right? Because there are people who have different circumstances that make it much harder for them to earn more. Right? So we are in a position to earn, like, take full advantage of that. It is really just taking stock of the skills that you have. Like, we all have natural innate talents that we can use to make money, a lot more than we're currently many of us making.

But we have to make that decision and be willing to put the effort in to make that happen. So it's almost like the story, not to get biblical, but the story about the story of the talents, right? Like, you know, there was the one who buried the talents, there's the one who like flipped it and turned it into more, there was the one who like made a bigger investment and made even more. And it's like, we have these talents

and we just bury them, you know, cause we're like, oh, it's noble or whatever, or we don't believe in ourselves. And I'm like, please, let's, can we get over ourselves and get the money that we need to back the political candidates that we want to see in office? Like, are we happy with our options? I don't think we are, you know what I mean?

And we are in a position to do something about it, but we, we like to pretend we have no power and that's crap. There is a lot of ways in which we are marginalized. That is 100% true. And there are ways in which we have agency that we are not capitalizing on and taking advantage of. Well, to your point, and I have argued this for a long time as well, patriarchy, white supremacy, whatever you want to call it, is actively telling you, oh, the pursuit of money is bad. Like you would be so greedy to ask for more money or it's so gauche. And like that's my not so conspiracy conspiracy theory is like that narrative that you think is noble and that you think is you being a good liberal. Like

it's not, it's not like I'm unless you lift off the grid, you're still paying rent, you're still buying groceries. So while we survive the system, we have to, you know, we work to change it. But if you're not surviving yourself, you're falling into the narratives that they want you to believe so that you are small and scared and deprived and tired. Because when you're full and well fed and everything's great, great, you get to start fighting against the system. Right. Exactly.

Call me Rachel Goche Rogers. Okay. Like, I don't care. I mean, be offended, right? Because of course, there are going to be people for let's just be clear, no matter what choices you make in life, there are going to be people especially today. Right? People have commentary, people are very judgmental.

Like we need to have a conversation about what energy we want to show up to the internet with because I feel like it's fascinating. So people are going to have a problem with no matter what you do. So you might as well do what you want, right? And do what's good for you and do what's good for the world. And often those two things are aligned. I think we try to believe that it's not. And we do have a society that has been built on the very few benefiting while everybody else loses. Let's reimagine that. Let's reimagine a world where everybody gets to participate. Everyone gets to have economic wellbeing. I just don't believe in the, you know, I win, you lose scenario. I think I can win, my team can win, my clients can win, my greater community can win.

I want everybody win, win, win, win, win all around. I don't believe in the win, lose scenario. And so if you decide that that's how you wanna get down, then you get to create that world for yourself. And you could see like, okay, what can make that possible? What would that look like? And reimagine, we need to get more creative with how we're approaching this

because there's so much possibilities, not just the ones that we've been taught. In the spirit of building wealth, something that I see all the time and that you talk about in your work is people, and I will especially call out women and listeners, this is what you do, is you spend hours researching the right bank account and you call these like the broke ass decisions or you're so stressed over the five dollar account. And you call these like the broke ass decisions, or you're so stressed over the $5 latte. When we could be spending that time. And again, I don't mean to call you out, but I do. You could be spending that time negotiating your salary or starting a business or investing learning how to navigate the stock market.

Talk to me about what that is. I think it's perfectionism, but talk to me about what it is when people get so caught up in the things that actually don't matter in the spirit of trying to get their financial shit together. And I'm putting that in quotes. Yes. Yeah, I think there's a safety in it, right? In the distraction. You know what I mean? It feels safe because the alternative is, oh, I actually have to put myself out there. I actually have to take a risk because that is what wealth is built on. Wealth is built on risk taking. If you're taking zero risks, you are not on a path to build wealth.

Period end of story. That's what it looks like. So if there's zero risk involved, then you might feel safe and you're protecting your ego and you're not going to fail publicly or whatever it is, but you're also not going to win. So that's why we can't be making those broke ass decisions, right? Which are things that keep us small, keep us distracted, unfocused, right? And take away options. Whereas million dollar decisions are the decisions that create abundance and opportunity where you see runway, right? Where you can't even see the end because it's so

far out. That's what I want for us. And that's what's available to us. Million dollar decisions create opportunity and runway and abundance and expand our world and expand our opportunities. And it requires us to expand, which is why it's scary because it requires growth, you know, and it feels safer to just, I'm just going to research banks, you know, or I'm just going to like, you know, research how to just, I'm just going to research banks, or I'm just going to research how to save $17 on my monthly cell phone bill. And it's like, girl, can we make another 17,000 instead of saving? Recognize that they're both available to you in the same timeframe that you have. You know what I'm saying? So if you recognize that, then you can decide you're going to go get

after it or not. Maybe you're somebody who just really doesn't want to. And that's cool too. But just know that you're making that conscious choice, right? And know that it is available to you. This is also, this is my theory why some people hate me. I have to tell you. Tell me more. Because, because in the conversations that I'm having,

I'm really showing people how we don't really have excuses. Like there's really nothing in the way except you and your choices for most of us. I won't say everyone, but I would say for the majority, there are really no excuses and there's nothing stopping us from doing it except us. And when you show people that, they can get mad. Oh, because they feel called out. Yeah. You're not ready to face it and so you get angry and you fight for your limitations. Right. Well, it's back to the like, the, it's the system. And I'm like, we all agree it's the system, but you can't just say, no, I'm not going to participate again, unless you're

like moving to Alaska and living on the homestead. But nobody's doing that. So you can't say the system's fucked, so I'm just not going to participate. You're still paying your rent, girl. You're still buying groceries. You're participating. And I don't like it either. I don't like having to participate. But while we work to change the system, you need to participate and make sure, again, you're taken care of. And so I feel like it's that same thread, which is like, well, it's too hard to do this. And it's too hard to start a business because everybody who gets, you know, funding is a white man who gets VC. And I'm like, yeah, that's not not true. And also, there's something that you can do about it, too. Yeah, how about you get to become the VC, right? I would argue that the system is more likely to

change if we become empowered within the current system we have. Totally. Period. End of story. Bye. I'm going to leave now. I'm a multimillion dollar business owner. And one of the biggest questions I get from people is, how do I start my own business? What is the first step I should take? And I like to think that getting a website where people can discover you and discover your content is a pretty good first step. And that's where Squarespace comes in.

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Because when every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today or call 1-800-ADT-ASAP. Another thing that you brought up that actually I've been thinking about a lot, and it was actually the more, again, more time I spend around people who are millionaires who are running million dollar businesses. I realized that when you get to a certain level, and for me, thinking of millionaire mindset, your currency is no longer money. It is time or energy. And even what you were just saying of like, you know, $17 when you're broke, of course, $17 is a lot. I'm

going to go negotiate my cell phone bill to save 17 bucks. And there's something though interesting that happens where for me now, cause I used to be that I'm like frugal to a fault. I would be on the phone for three hours with you to get my cell phone bill down $17. Now I'm at the point where I'm like, okay, that $17 is not worth a three hour phone call anymore, because I could be spending that three hours doing other things like making money, taking care of myself to therefore make other money. And there's a massive privilege with this, because again, I have enough money now where I don't have to think about it. But man, can we maybe discuss the currency change that happens once you you you're not broke anymore? Yeah. Well, that's that this is what I want for everyone. And that's why a million dollars

is the floor to me. Because a million dollars gives you options that Six Figures doesn't give you. From being able to buy time, how do you buy time? By spending money on conveniences, paying other people to take care of certain tasks, having a team. There's all these ways in which you can regain your time when you have money to invest in it. But yes, it's so true. We have that conversation all the time. We're always talking about offers that like our clients have asked us to create like, Oh, could you do this? Could you do a retreat around this? Or could you do an event around that? Or could you do this kind of mastermind or whatever? And for us, if it doesn't make a couple million

dollars, we're probably not going to do it. It doesn't make sense for our business, our team, like just the back end of it. And it doesn't make sense for our business, our team, like just the back end of it. And it doesn't make sense for my time. I even raised my speaking fee to Six Figures and they were like, well, only celebrities have that. And I'm like, well, celebrities and Rachel Rogers, because if I'm going to leave my house and travel, like literally, if it's not that much,

it kind of doesn't make sense. Like I could just be home with my kids on the couch, which I absolutely love to do. So like, why am I leaving my loved ones? And sometimes there is a reason. Sometimes there's people, I've done speaking gigs for free recently because it matters to me.

And there's a group of people that I wanna reach and serve, or there's some opportunity, whatever. But for the most part, it's you really start to evaluate your time differently and realize like certain things just are not worth the time unless it's something you really want to do. So it's just the economic evaluation is very different. And then I think about like, if I were to spend like a day traveling, doing a speaking gig, and then flying back, if I spent that same day with my team, what my team would be able to accomplish, the systems

that we'd be able to create could free a thousand people financially. So it's kind of like, I'm going to go talk to a small group of 50 who, great, I get to serve that 50 or I can stay home and talk to my team. And now my team can serve so many more people than I can serve directly. So that's the other part of the equation too, where everybody's like, I want Rachel, I want Rachel, I want Rachel. Yes, but if Rachel's on an hour long call with you, she's not on an hour long call with her team and then her team can serve you and a hundred more. You know what I mean? So it's like, you have to do, like the whole point is to multiply the impact. So it's not really about me only or what I feel like doing with my time.

It's like, okay, how can I use my time to serve and really have the impact and really accomplish the mission? Not pretend accomplish it, not help 10 people or a hundred people or even a thousand. We've helped thousands at this point. That's not enough to me. Like I want to help millions. So I have to keep marching forward. Yeah.

Well, that's why I don't do one-on-one coaching anymore. Yes. It's to that same point. It's like, to get me one-on-one, I would have to charge you an exorbitant amount of money that I know you won't pay unless you are like a business owner. Yes. Like, to sit down and talk about personal finance, I would charge you at least 10K and you're not going to want to pay, nor should you we write books we do podcasts we do workshops even right we do broader we do memberships we do things that can allow you to achieve your goals but all I can also help thousands of people at once as opposed to one person with one out yeah totally and also I will say to you I've done lots of one-on-one coaching in my day. And I prefer

group coaching and community because they are much more likely to achieve the goal. So many times I would do one-on-one coaching, they would have a community that's in their ear saying the opposite of what I've just taught them and advised them on. And then they'd come back and it's like, I got to coach you on the same thing again that we just talked about two weeks ago. Whereas if I did one-on-one coaching and then they went back into the community, which is how I've run my mastermind for years, right? Like they would, it's like the community would prop them up and be re-coaching. They'd be re-coaching each other and holding each other accountable to this new standard all the time.

I was just going to say it's accountability too. Yes. And that, that community is everything. Like when people ask, that's why it's a whole chapter of my book because it is everything. If you surround yourself with people who are on the same path as you, who are supporting you on that path, and you get to support them too, you're going to go exponentially further than it, no matter how disciplined you are, if you're on your own. We've been talking around it, but entrepreneurship, We've been talking around it, but entrepreneurship, I feel like is the key to millionaire status for so many people. There's a reason that I went from 100K at 25 years old, that was my first 100K, that's how her first 100K started, to multi-millions at 27.

Yes, saving, investing, all important things. You and I talk about them till we're blue in the face. But if you wanna know how in 24 months I went from six figures to multi millions, it was a business. Talk to me about entrepreneurship because I don't feel like people give it enough credit for just catapulting your financial goals yet

alone everything else. Now, if you don't want to be an entrepreneur, this next five minutes or so is not going to convince you, I don't think. But like if you feel so passionate, maybe, yeah, I immediately doubled back. I was like, it might know. But like if you are like so steadfast with like business ownership is not for me. Okay. But if you're on the fence, Rachel, convince them. Yes, I think everybody needs to be entrepreneurial no matter what role you're in. So even if you're an employee,

think about how can I get a piece of this company? What can I do to make myself invaluable then pitch myself as like, hey, can I get part of my pay in equity instead of just capital, right? Just cash, just salary or whatever. But think of yourself as becoming an owner in some way, right? So if it's not just straight entrepreneurship,

then you can become an entrepreneur through employment, or you can invest in other people's businesses. And so now you're an entrepreneur that way, but maybe less direct. So there's lots of ways to go at it. You can have a partnership, whatever. So think about it in different ways, but maybe less direct. So there's lots of ways to go at it. You can have a partnership, whatever. So think about it in different ways. But yes, entrepreneurship is a path to social justice. This is why I wrote my book, because I think that it is the only tool that I'm

aware of where you can create that equal playing field, right? People talk about investing in the stock market or real estate. You need money for that. When you're starting, I just assume that the people that I'm talking to, because this is who I was, have zero network, zero net worth, or if you're me, negative 300,000, so because extra credit. And that's where you're starting. You didn't go to an Ivy League school, right? Like you didn't grow up in a fancy neighborhood. You don't have wealthy uncles or aunts. I did have one wealthy uncle, but I asked them to help me with school. So I used my ass to get through my education.

And they did, they helped me a little bit. Still had $300,000 in loans, but you know, whatever. But I, so, you know, if you have zero that you're starting with, what you do have is yourself. You have your personality, you have your natural talents and skills and strengths that you were born with, and you can capitalize on that,

package that into an offer that generates money. And so if you are truly starting from nothing, like entrepreneurship is the only way that I know how to build truly something from nothing. If you don't have all of those things, if you have a network, if you have all these other things, it's just gonna go faster, which is amazing, you know? But I have all of those things. If you have a network, if you have all these other things, it's just going to go faster, which is amazing. But I had none of those things and I had to figure

it out from scratch. And I did have an education, so I will say that. And that's that. So I think entrepreneurship is truly the fastest path to building true wealth. And yeah, I mean, even when I look at my investments, right? I look at my investments in real estate. I look at my investments in the stock market. I've also invested in startups. And so I have these categories of investments that I've made and they've all made me really good amounts of money, very strong investments.

None of them have made me as much as my business has made, none. No, we're even close. So it's like, if I take that same time, energy, and money and put it into my own company instead of something else, it will make me exponentially more than if I put it into somebody else's business, the stock market, or real estate, no matter how good the returns are.

That's just what's been true for the last 10 plus years for me, personally. So when I see that, I'm just like, y'all, get on board. This is an opportunity. Now, are you going to work your ass off? Yes, but you know, you're going to work your ass off regardless. So you're going to work your ass off for somebody else. Are you going to work your ass off for yourself? There is no version of this where you don't work your ass off, right? Or I mean, I guess you could get, what was it called? Lazy girl

jobs. Yes. You can get a lazy girl job, but then we're not talking to you, right? Because you're not somebody who's trying to get truly financially free if that's your priority. And that's fine. We can all have different priorities. But I think truly the opportunity is incredible, right? Like it is mind boggling, the opportunity. I left my job because I wanted to replace a $41,000 a year salary as a law clerk and

be able to afford, you know, like state-level health insurance because it's a really good health insurance. I'm like, if I could get those two things, like, oh, if I make 50k a year, I would be able to do that. I did that in my first year of entrepreneurship, not knowing what the hell I'm doing. All right. I made 60. Then in the second year, 300,000. Right. And then it just went exponentially up from there and now eight figures. So, and now nine figures is on the horizon. I'm going to have to work to make that happen, but it's a completely different set of skills now that is required.

It's about the team and the systems completely and partnership opportunities at that level. But that's not something, when I started, it was $41,000 a year would have blown my mind. You know what I mean? So it's just like y'all. I just did an interview this morning talking about like 2020, which was my first like, January 2020 was my first month of like full time entrepreneurship. Yes. And I made $11,000 off a course launch. And that was like that was more money than I ever thought was possible. Yes. And it was it was at that time, that was crazy. And now I'm like, all right, we blink and it's 11. Yes. Sneeze and it's 11. So like,

yeah, and I can hear because dear listener, I know you well, I can hear what you're doing is you're like, well, I don't have an idea. You do. Don't, don't, don't give me that. Or the, well, I, I didn't, I don't have an that. Or the well, I didn't I don't have an MBA. No one ever taught me how to run a business. Why? No one taught Rachel and I are you? Nope, absolutely not. You only figure out how to run the business by starting. Yes, I was just gonna say I think you're at an advantage if you don't have an MBA. No offense to the MBAs. But

I think sometimes when you're studying theory, the reality of like entrepreneurship and the scrappiness of it, when you're studying theory for at scale businesses, that is very different than the truth of doing everything yourself, figuring it out, and betting on yourself completely, constantly all day every day. It's basically risk taking, you know? But for those who say that they don't have an idea, I also say, okay, what are you doing to foster an idea? Because I think sometimes we just have that we take this passive position again, giving

away our power, where we are like, Oh, I don't have an idea. Is an idea supposed to strike you from down from on high? Or what are you doing to foster an idea? Like, are you going to events? Are you meeting people? Are you going to museums? Are you listening to podcasts? Are you reading books? Like, what are you doing to foster that creativity?

Are you asking people what you're good at? Or like reflecting, Oh, somebody comes to me for this. That's why I teach people about money. Because I had friends who were calling me up and going, what's the Roth IRA? Can you explain it to me? And then I would explain it to them. And they're like, Oh, I've never heard it explained as simply as that. And that happened enough times where I was like, maybe that's it. Yes. Yes. Exactly. That was it. It can be just that simple. I chose running a law practice because I had just graduated

from law school and there were not a lot of jobs available. And I was like, well, I'm going to sell these skills, I guess, on my own, instead of getting a job at a firm. Was that my long-term path? No, but I would never have known that I was good at running a business if I would have never run my law practice. So my law practice taught me marketing, it taught me how to sell, right? It taught me how to manage a team. And it also taught me that I love running a business, but I didn't like practicing law. So eventually I got out of it and took those skills and put it into something else. So even just saying yes to the next thing, it doesn't have to be your forever thing. It can lead you to wherever you're supposed to go.

But you got to be willing to put something out there and try it. It doesn't even have to be anything you're in love with. If it pays you well enough and you don't hate it, that's enough for now. But I do think to your point, personality assessments like StrengthsFinder, Disc, Kolbe, anything that you can take to learn more about yourself and naturally how you show up. Because if you can align your offer in your business with how you are naturally wired, that's going to make it, it just creates so much grease for things to go a lot faster than doing something that is very friction-based for you. So if it was data crunching or I don't know, pumping out reports or

something like that for me, I would die. That would make me miserable and I'd find ways to avoid it at all costs, right? But if it's like, my business is built around public speaking and writing and strategy, things that I'm naturally good at, then I want to do it all day. I want to do it even when I'm not being paid, right? So it's a lot faster to grow. So it's not about what's hot right now. It's about what's hot for you. What are you hot for? Like that's actually where your, your, your genius offer is going to come from.

And I will also say to people listening who are like, what if I make a mistake? You will make a mistake. A thousand mistakes, one million billion. It's inevitable. I'm sure I made 1000 mistakes today. You know, again, and no one taught us, right? So we have to figure it out. But the only way you figure it out is by doing it. And what if you fail? Okay. Then you go back to corporate. Yes. Okay. You can always get a job you hate. You realize it's not for you. Yeah. You don't like it? Okay. You do something else. Yes. I would rather look back at my life and be like, and again, it's stitches on a throw pillow. It's so cheesy. But like, I would rather look back on my life and be like, you know what, I'm just really

glad I tried that thing. Realized it wasn't for me, but at least I knew that. And I had a couple fun stories. Great. Great. Exactly. Exactly. Right. And if you're someone who is, again, I really don't want to be an entrepreneur to Rachel's earlier point, even if it's not like owning equity or like you can treat your nine to five like it's your business, where it's like, okay, I'm going to go out and I'm going to pitch myself for that opportunity. And I'm going to manage this so that my boss doesn't have to worry about me. I will tell you as someone who manages people, everybody on my team who does that, they're fucking incredible at their jobs. And like, because I don't want to have to

worry about you and worry if you're doing your job. I don't want to micromanage you. So you treating your project or your role like it's your business, both literally a business, but also it's your business is so, so helpful for me as a business owner. Yes. And if you're somebody who has like, high organizational skills, operational kind of skills, and you're like, I don't have the idea, then go find an entrepreneur who has a big vision. And you can add your operational skills to it because what every entrepreneur needs is somebody. Basically, half my team are operators, right? Like that's their genius because it's so not mine that I have like shored that up around me because it's such a weakness for me. In fact, I've gotten good at operations

just because I've been surrounded by great operators for so long at this point. So now it's like, I know how to do some of the things. I still want to do it, but I understand it. So that is another option too, is you can say, take your skills and say, how can I add the skills that I have to somebody else's skills?

And together we can make some big thing happen. So it's just about looking for those opportunities again, like million dollar decisions, that kind of thinking to say, what are my opportunities around me? If it's not exactly me starting my own thing, what else is available? Because it's not nothing. There is something there. So when you get tuned into it, then you start to see opportunity everywhere. You have the opposite problem to what you were saying about earlier, where now it's like, I've had to learn, oh, you say no to 99.9% of the opportunities

being presented to you at a certain point, because it's like the only way to focus. Like I'm saying no to things that sound amazing to me, but I'm like, no, no, no, no, don't you, don't you put another thing on that to do list? You know, like I know if I say yes, my husband's gonna be mad. My my executive assistant is gonna be mad, the president of my company is gonna everybody gonna be mad at me if I say yes to another thing. So that's what eventually happens. But in the beginning, you say yes to everything and just explore and see what happens, you know, I learned a final little alarming stat from you, which is that, hold please, women entrepreneurs pay themselves 28% less than cis white men.

What do you see is the reason that this undervaluation of ourselves continues? Well, because of this internalized misogyny, right? Internalized racism, like we believe the stories that we're hearing repeatedly, and it would be very difficult not to. Right. And that is why community is so absolutely essential. When I have, you know, Robert Hartwell, my best friend who's giving me pep talks every morning, you know, he's like singing songs on my, you know, text in our text threads every day, right about how amazing. What are the most lovely humans I've ever met, by the way. We just met in person, the three of us,

with Jenna Kutcher and Amy Porterfield at a dinner, what about a month ago? And lovely. Oh my God. Lovely human being. He's the best in the world. And he has a TV show coming out, by the way. Go look for it on Max. It's called, it's called, God, what is it called? Breaking New Ground. The name has changed like three times, but it's Breaking New Ground. Anyway, but yes, when I have like my friend who's also on a similar path, giving me pep talks every morning,

and then my dear friend Susan Hyatt is giving me pep talks every day, right? And I'm doing the same for her. And so then when something happens and they come to me and they're like, oh, this person said this about my work or blah, blah, blah. I'm like, what? Hell no, right? And so we're immediately like, no, this person said this about my work or blah, blah, blah. I'm like, what? Hell no.

Right. And so we're immediately like, no, I will not allow you to believe that. And here's all the evidence that that's not true. When you have that immediate reaction all the time. And those are, of course, aren't my only friends. I also have all these other amazing entrepreneurs that I'm hanging out with all the time that we're supporting each other. We're sending opportunities to each other.

We're partnering together on things, right? Like it's, we're marketing each other, we're sending opportunities to each other, we're partnering together on things, right? We're marketing each other's work. That kind of community makes everything go so much faster. And you just won't continue to believe the nonsense and the noise that you see all the time when you have that in your ear all the time too. And that's why podcasts are so powerful, audiobooks, always, always have something positive in your ears reminding the time too. And that's why podcasts are so powerful, audiobooks, like always, always have something positive in your ears, reminding you of your power,

reminding you of who you are. Because the world is going to be surrounding you with BS, every movie you watch, every sitcom, every commercial you see, like there's just crap everywhere. And so we have to counteract that crap, right? By making sure that we have those positive things that are building us up and reminding us of what we are worth all the time so that we're not giving into those thoughts because it's so consistent. No one can escape it, you know, not 100%.

I'll show up a little vulnerably and also remind you all listening that I am a lifelong learner because when you and I met up, I had this moment where I'm like, fuck, I'm not charging enough. Like, me, me. I was like, fuck, we're not charging enough for what we're about to build and what we're offering. And I know I'm going to get shit about it. And people are going to be like, why is it priced so expensive? Well, because I have a book and this lovely podcast that you're listening to right now and six years of social media content. And if you want access to me, if you want access to live coaching and all of the stuff we're about to give, what we're building right now, it's going to cost you. It's going to be more expensive because we're giving you the escalator as opposed to you figuring out yourself. So no, I had this moment when you and I met up, even you didn't, I don't even know if

you straight up told me raise my prices, but just like we were talking and I was like, fuck, we're not charging enough. Yes. We're not charging enough. Yes, because it's like what I don't know something about it. It goes back to those things like, oh, well then then I'm a wealthy person that people hate. And it's like, yeah, you know that anyway, right? Like, well, then people have to come up with how to pay for it. Correct. Like they people have to come up with how to pay for it correct. Like people have to come up with how to pay for everything, you know?

And people don't realize, I wish people would realize this and I'm not saying this, like whether you give your money to me or Rachel or somebody else, when I pay money for a fitness class at 10 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, I don't care how hungover I am. I am going to the fitness class because I don't want to waste my money because I have skin in the game. If I were just to watch a YouTube video for free, first of all, I don't do that because there's nothing holding me accountable to that. And the second thing, let's say I do click play. It's a half hour workout. I quit after 10 minutes because I'm like, that's enough. That's fine. There's something powerful

about being in a room with other people. You can't back out unless you're like injured and you put money in. So you go like, that's what paying for things gets. You is you pay for what you get truly in terms of like content and education and value, but you also realize, Oh, I'm more likely to show up. I'm more likely to give effort because I have skin in the game. Exactly. And I also find that when people want us as leaders, as business leaders to undervalue ourselves, it's often because they've internalized undervaluing themselves. And I'm not trying to be an example where we just reinforce undervaluing black women,

right? Like I'm just not here to do that. So this black woman is going to charge you. And if you are a woman or anybody, right, like hopefully you see that and it makes you want to charge. Because I know when I go to France, right, I don't know why, but I get this lesson every time I go to Paris. Like every time I'm in France, I'm like, why do things cost so much?

You know, and then I'm like, I need to go. I need to make more money to be to even be in this city. Everything is just so insanely expensive to me, like the food, the the fashion, the experiences. Oh, that's how I feel about bars in New York. I'm like, you want twenty six dollars for a glass of wine. I'm sorry. What? What?

See, that doesn't trigger me. We all have different triggers, which is hilarious. But right, when you or you stay at a luxury hotel and then you want to order room service and you're like, wait, I spent how much on a hamburger and a glass of sparkling water with lunch? Well, because it's not the hamburger. It's the delivery fee. It's the fact that you didn't have to leave your room

and you can stay in your pajamas and they're gonna present hot food to you. But every time I have those experiences, I'm reminded of like, oh, I'm paying for this experience. I'm paying for this. And if I don't value it, let me stop putting my money towards it immediately, whatever it is.

If you don't see value in me, fine, don't give me your money. Exactly. And I think that it sounded a little fuck you. I don't mean to fuck you. Truly. It's like, if you don't value my expertise in what I do, I take, give your money to somebody else. That's okay. And that's actually what the transaction does is it requires people to make that decision for themselves, right? Do I value this enough to part with this money in this way? And some people have to save up for it. Like the bottom line is everybody pays,

you are going to pay. So either you're gonna pay and lost opportunity and lost income that you could have earned because you didn't wanna take advantage of some opportunity to learn, right? Or you're gonna pay the cash to learn, right? But everybody is going to pay one way or another. So decide what things you're going to pay for, you know, it's just being conscious as you walk through life, being present to what's

happening and being present to the opportunities that are available to you and being present to the decision. Am I going to take advantage of this opportunity or do I not want to? And that's cool too. You get to choose. Trust me, there's a lot of money I leave on the table because I don't feel like it, right? Or there's money I leave on the table because I'm like, I got kids and it's more important to me that I'm done by 4pm. It's like we're all negotiating every day, our financial situation, we're negotiating in our relationships, we're negotiating work-life balance all day every day. Like be aware of the negotiation that you're in and decide what matters to you today. Tomorrow it may change,

next quarter it may change. Like, you know, school year mom is different mode than summertime mom, right? Totally different. Different needs, different requirements of my family, depending on what type of time of year it is. And that impacts what I will say yes to related to work, right?

So it's like, know that we're constantly in a negotiation and be okay with it and be empowered in it to make the decisions that are right for you, right? And to get what you want. And then surround yourself with people who support you in getting what you want for yourself and who are on the same path so y'all can cheer each other on. Well, and what you said, Rachel, that I Well, and what you said, Rachel, that I tell my audience all the time, what kind of hypocrite would I be if I'm telling you charge what you're worth, advocate for what you're worth, know your value, and I give you everything for free? I'm not demonstrating.

I'm not leading by example. I'm not demonstrating what I want you to do. Exactly right. That's exactly right. And frankly, too, let's be real. Businesses cost money to run. Like nobody on my team works for free, unfortunately. In fact, they want benefits, time off, all this stuff. Crazy, right? 401Ks, they're so rude.

Family leave? What? Exactly. Maternity leave? For how long? You want me to pay you while you're out and you're not working and then pay for your replacement? Okay. Exactly. None of this is free. Okay. So, and the thing is, it's like all of that goes into what kind of business do I want to run? Like, how do I want to show up for my clients? What do I want? How accessible do I want us to be for our clients? What kind of systems do we want to have in place to make sure our clients get great experiences? All of that plays into the experience that you're going to have to the point of you get what you pay for, right? So, you know, you just got to make the decisions that are right for you, but we cannot run businesses for free. That's

just not how any of this works. You know, there are some people who like get a third party to pay like so maybe a corporation is paying for a course to be had. But to me, you're always going to get more value if you're covering it yourself, or at least partially covering it yourself. Because like you said, you have skin in the game. I've been doing this a very long time and coaching and education. It really works. It's really powerful. Yes, there are scammers, you know, but you just have to be smart and make good

decisions. But this is an investment that I have made many times for myself that I'm making currently right now. And every time I've invested tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands in coaching, I have never not gotten a return. Because I can count on me to show up, do the work, and get that return. And so you have to ask yourself, am I the type of person who's gonna show up and do the work and come to class and watch the videos and listen to the recordings and do the actual things that I'm being taught. And if I am that person, then you should not hesitate to make those investments in yourself.

Oh, you just burnt something for me. Let's talk about that with personal finance and entrepreneurship too, because I do feel like, okay, I'm paying all this money. I'm going to sign up for this coaching course. And what people do is they go 30 days and they're like, I don't see any difference. I don't see any difference. I don't see any changes. Well, first of all, I'm not a millionaire within five minutes. Truly. False advertising. You know, you get these messages, I'm sure, because we do. And it's like, okay, first of all, you gave me 30 days and you expect to be a millionaire. I mean, again, we're over exaggerating, but like there's people who who do this, like, all my students are gone. It's not a big 30 days. But the other

thing too, is that I am here to give you a map. You have to walk. Like, I am not picking you up and carrying you. I can't even if I wanted to, I can't and especially not at scale. I can't do that for the 5 million people who follow us. I cannot do that. So me giving you a map implies that this is a mutual, hey, I'm giving you the resources, but you still have to go and follow the Elbrick Road. You still have to walk because none of this is going to happen if you don't participate. I can give you all the education in the world, but if you don't implement it, nothing's going to happen. Right. Exactly right. So yes, unfortunately, people think that at the point of payment,

they've done the thing. Right? Like, you know what I'm saying? It's like kind of like, to your point, your example of the fitness class, like I paid for the class. So why don't I have more muscle yet? Why don't I look like Dwayne The Rock, immediately after my first gym visit, I don't have biceps, absolutely not. Right, and then because I don't have those biceps, I need to take to the internet and call everyone a scammer. And it's like, I think you're scamming yourself.

You're scamming yourself by not showing up for yourself and not being honest about your efforts. So I think more personal responsibility across the board is required. And that's one thing that entrepreneurship will teach you, nobody's business, because the market is very unforgiving. And so the market does not care if you tried really hard. The market doesn't care if you made it look really pretty. The market doesn't care that you did 72 pieces of social media and 80 podcast episodes and all the things, right?

If you're not connecting, if you're not helping people see how you're going to create a transformation for them, right? If they're not understanding the value, if you're not hitting those marks, no one's going to buy anything. People will not give you 50 cents if they don't know what they're getting for their 50 cents. So that is the thing. I think entrepreneurship is the ultimate personal development path where it just requires you

to be better and do better and let go of your ego and fail publicly, all of these things that actually make you a better person. I highly recommend therapy in tandem with entrepreneurship. That has been absolutely crucial to my journey. I would argue you can't do it without because I tried. It doesn't work the same. But but the growth that happens and the person that you get to become on the other side is amazing, you know, and it's something that like you just you're going to grow so much faster. The other thing is the leadership to like learning

how to manage a team. This is why I highly recommend people get an assistant as soon as possible, even a virtual assistant for five hours a month. I don't care how little it is when you have to give somebody instructions on how to do something, and you have to tell them their work is good or not good and why, right? Like that is what leadership is, learning how to manage people and learning how to inspire people to take action. I think that is a very important skill, especially for women to capitalize on and notice that they have within themselves. This episode is spicy in all the right ways and I love it and I appreciate it. And if there was one thing that I took away from

meeting you, you know, what we were together for a couple hours, I was like, this woman knows how to set and keep a boundary. Like that was my big takeaway. I was like, no, it was so good. And it reminded me like, because I'm usually good at it too. And that was my big takeaway. I was like, no, it was so good. And it reminded me like, because I'm usually good at it too. And then the internet gets mean and then I become a pushover. And then I'm just like, I keep having to remind myself of a lot of the things we're talking about. And to be honest, probably a lot of the people listening have not heard this side of me, maybe this is how I feel most of the time. And then I put on like, nice, okay, we're going to be nice and we're going to be cordial.

But I often am just like, okay, if this doesn't work for you, great. Great. Move along. You don't have to announce your departure. You can just depart. This is not an airport. You can just leave. Like that's how I feel a lot of the time. So I think for all women, how can women do more of the boundary setting, but also figure out what their boundaries are in the first place? Yes. Honestly, when I was writing, we should all be millionaires. And I was like, okay, what are all the elements to building wealth? And it's like all the stuff that's not money directly. Like, it's not always about what work am I doing? It's like, how am I giving away my power? What are all the areas in which I give away my power and therefore give away my money generating possibilities? And boundaries is so huge.

And honestly, it makes me feel good to hear you say that, Tori, because I used to not be somebody with boundaries. I was a people pleaser and a pushover and let people walk all over me and do whatever they want, take my money, take my time, take my energy. And so yes, I had to work hard to become this person that doesn't fuck around. But boundaries, it's really about you. It's about you and what do you want and what are you doing to protect your time and your

energy so that your dreams can happen? Because I think we don't realize how much we just give everybody what we want. Showing up to parties we don't want to go to, saying yes to your boss for things that are on the weekends or nights and you're not being compensated and there's no conversation about that. Telling your partner to like build their own business

or wash their own laundry. Telling your kids to wash their own laundry. First of all, mothers, let's have a whole conversation about boundaries. If no one else reads this chapter about boundaries, mothers, I need you to read it. Because trust me, we love to use our, you know, kids as an excuse for why we can't have the things. And it's like, no, no, no, no,

they're the reason why you have to go have the things, right? Like they are, they are your motivation, but it's like people pleasing and giving everybody what they want all the time. And then you're go have the things, right? Like they are, they are your motivation, but it's like people pleasing and giving everybody what they want all the time. And then you're last on the list, you never get what you want. And then we go into, we get mad, we want sympathy, right?

Like it's just like in every way we're taking away our power. It's like, no, let's not do that. How about we just make the decisions in the first place where we get what we want, where we learn how to use our no, and we learn how to protect our time. We say no to doing our auntie's taxes. We say no to doing our teenager's laundry.

We say no to our partner laying on the couch acting like he don't got kids or acting like he can't make dinner. You know what I mean? It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to have some conversations because I'm not making... Glass, I checked. We both need to eat conversations, okay? Because I'm not making, glass I checked, we both need to eat, all right? And I can make dinner on these days.

These other days are for you, right? What dinner can you produce? Whatever it is, if it's Chinese, that's fine, order it. But, and you can pay for it also. But I am not your maid. Like it is a wild how much domestic labor women continue to do, no matter if they're what, if they're in hetero partnerships or not. Right. It's like, we just continue to

do all of the work and not allow, you know, our boundaries to win and not allow our time and our dreams and our visions to be protected. So I think we have to get really clear. And one thing I want to be sure about too, that people understand is boundaries are not about punishing people. You didn't give me what I want. So now I'm drawing a boundary. No, it's not about them. It's about, yes, that's not what this is about. This is about, here's what I want to do with my time. And so that's why I'm saying no, not some made up excuse, not because I want to punish you for that last thing you did to me, right? No,

it's about this dream is really important and my space is really important, taking care of myself is really important. So I'm going to say no to these things. That's what it's about at the end of the day. And honestly, if you do that for yourself, you're gonna be so much happier. Like forget the money, you're gonna have more money,

but more importantly, you're gonna be happier, you know? Because now you're doing with your life what you actually want to be doing with your life instead of of letting everybody else get what they want. And you never do with your own life. That don't make no sense. And it's nobody's fault, but yours. But that's good news, right? Because then that means you are in a position to take care of that. I've heard it. Boundary is not you can't speak to me that way. It is, if you speak to me like that again, I will do this. Or it's not, you can't do that in my house. It is, if you do that again, I can invite you over.

Right. It's not about the other person. It's not about controlling the other person. Because that way, the other person can make whatever choice they want. But it's what you're going to do in response. If you speak to me like that again, I will do X. I will leave the room. I will go on a walk and we can revisit this another time. Or I will leave. I will leave. And that, when somebody explained it to me like that, that helped me a lot. Because I'm like, first of all, that doesn't work. If you're trying to control somebody else, that doesn't work.

It's always a fail. So you're going to be aggravated. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm even scared, I will admit, I'm scared to say this out loud, because it's a recent realization, but I think you'll love this. I've been asking myself why I haven't gone to protests. Like, I went to the women's march. I didn't go to a lot of protests after that. I'm doing everything else good, right? I'm donating, I'm calling my legislators. I'm obviously starting a business that helps women. And I felt very guilty for a really long time. Like why, Tori, why aren't we out doing this?

And then I would make up a million excuses. And literally something about two months ago in my brain, it was like a voice came and spoke to me and it just went, you don't want to. You don't want to. I will not do well. I'm a very anxious person. That gives me a lot of anxiety. I know there's privilege in that.

I'm well aware, but I am like, I, that's not how I want to show up. I don't want to do that. I'll do a million other things. I don't want to do that. And it was just like the permission slip I needed to just again be like, Okay, the answer is no. Like I don't want to do that. And that's okay. That's a full statement. I don't need to justify it. I don't need to say like, just you know what, that's not how I want to show up. It's being present to what's true, right? And being okay that what's also true is somebody's not going to like that. And it's also true that that's going to free somebody else.

Oh, definitely not going to like it. Sometimes I don't even like it. I'm like, Tori, why do we have this problem? Yes. And I'm just, something in me is just like, we're not going to do it. We're going to do all these other things, but we're not going to do that. And there's other people who don't even think about ever going to a protest and never feel guilty about it ever in their lives, right?

So there's so many different ways for us to show up as activists. And I think that if we focus on policing each other's form of activism and whether it's enough and what version it is all the time, and that's our main focus, it takes us out of focusing on the actual real problem and the actual thing that is actually stopping things. You know, like, you know, yelling at your neighbor because they didn't recycle that one thing, but having no problem with like the plant down the street that is actually the climate change issue, you know? Like, let's make the main thing the main thing. And I think sometimes there's some satisfaction and it's like, well, I can't get the plant closed.

So making my neighbor feel bad is a way to get a little bit of a win. Oh, yes. It's power. Yes. My total empathetic, like if I view this from a portion of empathy suddenly we're on cancel culture. But if I am looking at it from a place of empathy, you're mad at this person because you can't be mad at Nike or you can't be mad at insert company

or government here because you're too small for that. But you can come after Rachel or I or somebody else who you feel like you know on the internet and who also maybe reads their comments sometimes because you're like, I'm mad at the system and this is the way that I'm going to speak truth to power. She and I are powerful, but we're not a government. We're not the president. We don't, you know, so yeah, I don't, even having this conversation makes me nervous. But like we were talking and we can cut this if you don't want to talk about this, but we were talking about this at dinner with Rachel Cargill. And if you all are unfamiliar with Rachel Cargill, incredible black activist who is like giving

black girls therapy for free and is doing amazing work. And she's getting a lot of shit for not speaking up or not speaking up enough about the genocide in Gaza. And it's like, she's out here doing her activism, guys. She's out here doing it. And she's not showing up how you want her to, and I understand that might be difficult for you, but you're not mad at her. You're mad that people are dying. Like you're mad that people are getting killed. And the way you're choosing to express that anger is on this person because you might be able to talk directly to her, but not to President Biden. Yes, exactly. And I think too, one of the things about activism that I think is really

important is that activism is setting up a system. It's not unlike a business. Activism is not just reactionary to what is happening today. It can be, but it is also setting up a system over decades, right? That makes an impact and that changes things. And that kind of activism, I feel like goes unnoticed or ignored for the loud kind. That is, I'm going to yell on the internet or I'm going to protest and march. And those things are important. But I know the activists, some of the activists that I know who have set up a system like Rachel Cargill, they are changing the numbers, right in their arena, right? They are changing the game versus right, you know, if she were to yell right on the internet

about what's happening, maybe that would have some impact by the way she has. But it's like, is that going to be as much of an impact as this, right? And do we get to say like, there's certain causes and issues that are going to radicalize us for one reason or another, right? We all have different ones. It was George Floyd for me. And I was radicalized before that to some degree, but George Floyd was a whole nother level for me, you know? And so it hits us the way that it hits us for whatever reason. And we're all walking around numb to a lot of things that are happening in the world. Right?

Well, cause we have to, we have to, in order to be people, we have no choice, especially with social media, because you're, you're being presented with it all day, every day. Right. And, and so you have to choose where am I gonna put my time? Where am I gonna put my energy? Where am I gonna put my dollars? Where am I gonna put my activism? And it can't, if you spray it everywhere,

you're gonna have probably little impact. Whereas if you target, like Rachel has, and say, I'm going to solve this specific problem and set up a system to solve it long-term, you're gonna have way, way more impact in the world. So that's my opinion on it. And it's something that I've learned from activists that are mentors to me and have been for many years.

And that's what freed me to be able to say, okay, focus, right? Focus on the problem that you are solving because you are solving a real problem. And the more you focus on this problem, the more the people that you are solving, because you are solving a real problem. And the more you focus on this problem, the more the people that I am helping are going to be able to solve other problems. And do we have patience for that?

No, I mean, all of it is horrific. And we want every problem solved today, but that's not gonna happen. So what can we do to set up systems so that we're not just wearing ourselves out in all of our energy, but how can we set up a system to change the world? And so a small way could be like, okay, I'm going to put $5 a month towards this cause

that I really care about. And that's what I'm going to start with that system. And that's better than 50 bucks one time. And then it's like, okay, great. Now I did that. What else can I, I'm going to volunteer every two weeks at this place. Okay, now I'm doing that. And it's like, how can we set up a system

to solve the problem? Instead of being visible, I think sometimes we are really focused on the visibility of people's activism, instead of like, what is actually moving the needle? What is actually helping people? What is actually solving problems? What is actually putting money in people's pockets who need it? Right? Like, let's actually focus on the thing that matters instead of the performance of it all. Yeah. Well, and let me do what I do best, which is teach women about money. I would rather use the platform I do have to like, let's amplify other voices. And also to your point, let me keep doing the work that I know makes a difference because that's what I'm good at and then amplify

the people who are doing work in things I care about who are good at their jobs too. Yes. I mean, we've done things at Hello7 and we've not talked about it publicly. And I don't feel comfortable doing that because I'm just kind of like, I didn't do it so that I could prove to everybody I'm doing the thing. And it's like, I'm, I'm okay with people being wrong about me. And let me say that that is one thing that can free you immensely when you not just you, but everybody. Right.

So like I'm saying again, I had to learn it and I'm still learning it. Like, I have to be okay being misunderstood. And that is very difficult for me. Very difficult. Yes. And I think I just have more years in than you. Right? So that's really the only difference. So over that time period, I've just gotten more comfortable in accepting that people are going to call me out my name. People are going to describe me in ways that could not be more far from the truth. Right? And I am not going to go around correcting them all because I don't have time.

And truly the beautiful thing now is I mostly don't care. You know what I mean? Well, and even if, okay, let's say I did have a debate with you because I did this for a lot of last year is every night as I went to bed, literally every single night, my brain would do the, I'm gonna defend myself against everything people are saying about me. That weirdly soothed me, but then it made me more stressed.

And it was like, okay, so Tori, let's say you did get to do that. That person doesn't want to be convinced because again, they're not really mad at you. They're not really mad at you. They're mad at a system that's fucked them. And I have all of the empathy in the world and understanding for that. I'm just, I'm just the, the thing again that you feel like I have a little bit of power. I can, I can tell her I don't like this. Okay. Really what you're talking, what you're saying is I don't like the system that

exists and I'm mad at the system that exists. Girl, same. Like agree. Or maybe they just really hate you. Also that. Right? Like maybe they hate your face. Maybe hate you. Also, right? Maybe they hate your face. Maybe they hate the way you dress. Maybe they hate your voice. Like, that's just reality, right? We're going to be disliked by people. Those are the men who call me fat on the internet, who I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. Great. Engagement. Thank you. Keep calling me fat on the internet. Let's go. Engagement,

engagement, engagement. Algorithm. Yay. Christina Kuzmin. I think I told you this. She told me like when people write really vile things, she just says, no, thank you, right? Like she just responds. Yeah. And it confuses them. They don't know what to do with that.

And it just ends the conversation, which is hilarious. And she has definitely experienced her fair share, but I think just freeing yourself of what people think about you. And like when you are focused on your mission and when you are focused on, you know, what you know, you're here to do and you're following your God given assignment, what everybody says doesn't matter. Right.

Like it's just am I doing the thing that I know I need to be doing? Am I in integrity with myself? I'm not here to prove my integrity to the world. I don't have all day to do that. I'm here to do this assignment. If I start proving my integrity to everybody, then I don't have all day to do that. I'm here to do this assignment. If I start proving my integrity to everybody, then I don't have time to do my assignment. That's the current assignment. Correct. So it's just kind of like, no, and trust me, there will be days where somebody will get

corrected because that's just the tip I'm on that day, right? Or there are times. I also say too, because I can hear people too, that we're not talking about real genuine feedback that needs change. That's not what we're talking about here because that is different. I agree. I agree. And I would argue at least the friends that I know, most entrepreneurs that I talk to that are in my circle, there are other people that are very open to feedback and are actually seeking feedback all the time from

their audiences, sending out surveys to get feedback, right? Asking their audience opinions and being willing to hear, you know, like we just did this today on my team, we did a town hall with my team and I, me and the executive team just listened to what the team had to say about any and everything, right? Like give us your feedback. What could we be doing better? We specifically asked, how can we show what better for you? And among a bunch of other things. So I think that, you know, at least for my, I can speak for myself, I am very open to feedback. And also, like, if your feedback is just like, I'm a vile person and you hate me, thanks. No, thank you. Right? Like Christina Kuzma said. Thank you. No, thanks. No, thanks, bye.

Right? So, but I really, just really for the people listening for their own selves, because I think this is the stuff about entrepreneurship that scares people from going and doing it, putting themselves out there as a business owner. You are going to be critiqued whether you work as an employee or you're an entrepreneur. You're going to be critiqued no matter what you do.

People are going to have judgments about you. And I think us being okay with that, and learning to live with it and not having it change our being. You know what I mean? Like people leave like, and it's so funny because it's both all the time. So like, it'll be like five, five star reviews and then one one star review from somebody like who hates my existence, right? Hates my voice hates everything I said hates, hates my politics, hates everything, you know? And it's just like that will always be the case and you need to not care about the love just like you don't care about the negative commentary. That is the only way to exist. Like to me,

that is the only way to survive it is to recognize that the people who love you great and the people who hate you also great, right? And none of it matters because what really matters is how do you feel about you? Right? As cheesy as it sounds, that is the truth of it. How do you truly feel about you? How do you feel about how you're showing up? How do you feel about what you're doing?

Only you really know. And so if you're good with you, then it doesn't matter. Right? Like people tell me they love me. They tell me they appreciate my work. I'm grateful for that. And like it doesn't matter, right? Like people tell me they love me, they tell me they appreciate my work, I'm grateful for that. And like it doesn't really change how I feel about myself at all. And I also take it with a grain of salt,

just like, cause those same people who love you will hate you in five minutes. And the people who hate you will love you 10 minutes later, right? Like, you know, Beyonce talks about in her lyrics about how fickle audiences can be, and it is true, right? We change our minds all the time, which is why you shouldn't put so much stock in what somebody thinks about you, right? Which is why you got to be good with you. Oh, yeah. I told the story on the podcast before,

but you'll really appreciate it. Literally woman messaged us on Instagram and is like, your content saved my financial life. I am so thankful. It's absolutely incredible. Not 12 hours later. I'm not kidding. Like eight hours later, I post something about Gaza genocide, and she's like, unfollowing. Like eight hours later, I went, I was this woman's best friend. I had to, I literally posted it in our Slack internally at her first 100k. And I was like, this is a reminder to myself and to our entire team that like, this is not what we're chasing. It's just like, again, they want you at one thing and then you do something they don't like and they're gone in a second. It's just like, yeah, you got to be okay with you. You got to be okay doing what you're doing.

Yes. What I get excited about is when people tell me, I joined the club and I made $100,000, right? Right. I took this program and here's where my business is at now. I now have a team. I'm now doing this. I left my abusive marriage because I was able to afford my groceries now. Exactly. It's like, am I achieving my assignment? Am I achieving the mission? Are we, my team and I, achieving our mission? If we are, then that's what matters to me most versus you love me or you hate me. You could love me, but we could not be achieving our mission. And so I'm still not satisfied, even if you love me. So just know what the goal is.

And I think sometimes you just have to go through it and experience it. And then you learn how to dance with it, live with it, negotiate with it, right? And you learn how to focus on you. And the people who matter to me most, right? Like the closest people to me, if they say, right, that I'm not showing up or I did something or whatever, then I'm really paying attention. You know? Yep. Right. Because you respect their opinion. Exactly. So you respect their feedback.

Hello. Like this is a whole video that I've had planned forever and I just keep forgetting to do. But it's like, can we talk about who we accept feedback from? Because not everybody is on the board. If I wouldn't take your feedback, I'm not going to take your opinion. If I wouldn't take your opinion, I'm not going to take your opinion. If I wouldn't take your opinion, I'm not going to take your feedback. Yes. Yes. If I wouldn't get advice from you, I'm not taking your feedback. Yeah. It's like, if I didn't know who Brown 1264 was yesterday and care about their opinion

yesterday, why do I care so much today? And is it like, maybe I care because what they said is true and I know it's true for me and I need to go deal with that and check myself, right? But if not, then it's like, okay, well, listen, good luck to you, friend. You know what I mean? I wish you well, truly. I have no ill will. Like, be blessed, you know? Let's move on with our lives. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you.

Rachel, thank you for therapy. I will send you a Venmo. Where can people find out more about you? You have books, multiple books? Plug away, my friend. Yes. One new book that just came out, Million Dollar Action, that is- Sold out as of this podcast, but we'll hopefully, it should be back in stock.

If it's not, we have bigger problems. Good problems to have, yet still a problem, but a second print run is supposed to be reaching stores very soon. So hopefully you'll be able to get it. And if you get two copies, you can come to our virtual event that we're doing completely free of you by two copies of the book. So if you go to milliondollaraction.com, you can get all the details on that. That virtual event is happening in August.

We're doing an amazing challenge for entrepreneurs. So if you're a newer entrepreneur, you're becoming an entrepreneur, or you're already an established entrepreneur, and you're wanting to scale your business, you should join our challenge. You go to hello7.co. slash challenge. It's completely free. We're going to work with you for a week and help you get some incredible results. Coaching, community, all the things we've been talking about today. So go to hello7.co.uk slash challenge to get all of those details. And I'm on Instagram, Rachel Rogers, ESQ, and the Hello7 podcast is coming back very soon. So you can listen to us there.

Appreciate you both for coming on the show and appreciate your presence. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you to Rachel for joining us. You can find her work, including her books. Anywhere you get your books, We Should All Be Millionaires is her debut book. And you can follow her on Instagram at rachrodgersesq, like Esquire, because she's a lawyer. Thank you for being here as always.

If you love the show, please share this episode. Please like and subscribe. Wherever you're listening right now, that's the best way to support our show. So if you subscribe and then just turn on auto downloads, wherever you're listening right now, Apple, Spotify, etc. You've just helped support our work in a way that literally didn't cost you anything. We really appreciate your support. Thank you as always for being here and we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First 100K podcast. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap, produced by Kristin Fields and Tamesha Grant.

Research by Sarah Shortino. Audio and video engineering by Alyssa Medcalf. Marketing and operations by Karina Patel and Amanda Lafue. Special thanks to our team at Her First 100K. Kaylyn Sprinkle, Masha Bakhmikyev, Taylor Cho, Sasha Bonar, Ray Wong, Elizabeth McCumber, Claire Karonen, Darrell Ann Ingman, and Megan Walker. Promotional graphics by Mary Stratton,

photography by Sarah Wolf, and theme music by Jonah Cohen Sound. A huge thanks to the entire Her First 100K community for supporting the show. For more information about Financial Feminist, Her First 100K, our guests, and episode show notes, visit financialfeministpodcast.com. If you're confused about your personal finances and you're wondering where to start, go to herfirst100k.com slash quiz for a free personalized money plan. What's up, everyone?

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