Financial Feminist - 31. I Wrote a Book!

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi financial feminist listeners, I'm Anna, the community manager here at Her First 100K. Before we get to the episode, we want to take a moment to address the June 24th Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe vs. Wade. This decision stripped away the legal right to have a safe and legal abortion. Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens the health and independence of all Americans. This decision could also lead to the loss of other rights. To learn more about what you can do to help, go to podvoices.help. That's P-O-D voices dot H-E-L-P. We'll also have resources linked in our show notes. We here at Her First 100K and Financial Feminist

Starting point is 00:00:45 encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread finance for everyone, everywhere, all the time. Kraken, see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. Kraken's registration details are kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer. Hi team. Welcome back. Welcome back to Financial Feminist. As always, I am so, so thrilled you're here. And today is a special day. We're recording this in June, but this is my birthday episode. I turn 28 on July 10th. And also very significantly, my book, Financial Feminist, that I have worked incredibly hard on is now available.

Starting point is 00:02:00 It is available for pre-sale. We'll link it in the show notes we'll talk more about it but I'm just gonna say it I get sad on my birthday I get a little sad on my birthday every year and I know actually now that this is not a unique phenomenon because I've seen TikToks about it but if you're one of those people who also get sad on your birthday a little melancholy please know that you're not alone I look forward to my birthday every year especially you know when I was a kid, it was the thing. I would not sleep for a week. I would stay up and just be so excited to see my friends on a birthday party. And that was just my favorite. And I would get so excited. It was like Christmas. And then as you get older, your birthday is just... It's hard to make it a distinguished day, right?

Starting point is 00:02:46 It's hard. And you have to like purposefully plan to make sure that it doesn't just feel like another day. The thing that happens for me is that when my birthday does arrive, I'm excited to get texts from friends. I'm excited to, you know, celebrate, but I end up feeling sad. And I don't exactly know why. If I had to guess, I think it's just

Starting point is 00:03:06 the realization that like, oh, I'm aging, which is not inherently a bad thing, but I'm another year older. What does that mean for me? And you have to kind of grapple with your own mortality, the fact that there will be a time when you don't have birthdays anymore. And when your time on this maybe is too depressing. I don't know. But when your time on earth is temporary, right? What I end up thinking about on my birthday that both makes me a little sad but mostly optimistic is I reflect not only on the past year but also on childhood me. I'm thinking like Tori, who's seven, maybe eight years old, who like is decked out in leopard. I went through a leopard phase. That's all I wore was like leopard literally head to toe. My mom has all of these photos of family trips. Like we

Starting point is 00:03:59 went to Vegas, we went to New York and I look like an 82-year-old woman. I have like a fluffy leopard hat. I have a leopard coat. I went through a leopard phase. And she's like wearing jelly shoes and she's got these really dorky glasses because she just started wearing glasses. And that's like childhood me. I was such a dreamer as a kid as I think all of us are. I had all of these hopes and dreams for what I wanted my life to look like. And they were a lot of dreams around, you know, the kind of person I wanted to become and the kind of woman I wanted to become. And what ends up happening, again, when you're reflecting on these goals is you just realize, oh, there's a lot of things that, you know, childhood you wanted that didn't happen.

Starting point is 00:04:48 And it's easy to feel like you've let younger you down when you haven't either accomplished those things or pursued those things. I, as I'm sure you all know, love theater very, very much. And I was in my first show when I was six and I started dancing when I was like two or three and started singing before then. And that was the goal for many, many, many years as I grew up in middle school, high school, even college. The goal was to pursue theater, to be an actor professionally. And I want to be honest, there's still part of me that yearns to do that. And it's easy, especially on my birthday, especially on these milestone occasions, right? Birthdays, like New Year's Eve into New Year's Day, right? It's really easy to reflect on what you thought you would be. And then to feel slightly disappointed that maybe in not pursuing that, you are betraying

Starting point is 00:05:48 those goals. And what I've discovered and realized is that when you're younger, when you're deciding who and what you want to be, there's a lot of information you don't have yet. There's a lot of information you don't have yet. The biggest reason I didn't become an actor is I wanted stability in my life. I realized that that was very important to me. And I realized I could take a lot of the things that I loved about theater, which was storytelling and being in front of people and having a community. I could take those things and make them applicable to something that was more stable, something that was quote-unquote more adult. I'm not betraying childhood me by changing those goals. Those goals just don't serve me. They might serve me again in the future,

Starting point is 00:06:36 right? Maybe I say fuck it when I'm 30 or 35 and decide I want to pursue this. Who knows, right? But I think one of the best gifts we can give ourselves anytime, but especially when we're thinking about these milestone dates, is the freedom and the flexibility to leave behind the commitments we made to ourselves that don't serve us anymore. And for me at this moment, the dream to become an actor isn't serving me and hasn't served me for quite a while. I also think about the goals and the intentions that childhood Tori set that I have committed to. It's going to make me cry, but I was the most voracious reader as a kid. I loved reading. I would take a book anywhere I went.

Starting point is 00:07:25 I would literally sit in the back of the car, even when we were going to the grocery store, and I would be reading. I would be reading a book. I was that kid in the summer breaks who would come with my reading list from the library full backwards and forwards and typically go to the library

Starting point is 00:07:41 and halfway through the summer to get a new one. Like that was me. I was that kid. And I told myself I was probably seven or eight. I literally wrote it in a journal that I wanted to be an author. And I wrote books like they never ever got finished. But I like have half written books even when I was 10. Right. And I was like writing about my own experiences. And then I think when I was 13, I wrote this book that I was 10, right? And I was like writing about my own experiences. And then I think when I was 13, I wrote this book that I was using to manifest me meeting my celebrity crush, right? And the book I wrote was him falling in love with me. I wrote books or what I thought were books,

Starting point is 00:08:20 you know, as I was growing up, that was something I really wanted to do. And if you've ever tried to write a book, if you've ever tried to write anything, you know how incredibly difficult it is. But in addition, you know that the likelihood of you getting an actually published book is so slim. so slim. Most books that are produced in the world, one, of course, have to be finished, which is a huge feat in and of themselves for you to submit something knowing it's going to be imperfect and saying like, okay, it's as good as it's going to get, right? It's done. It's not perfect, but at least it's done because, you know, you can tinker forever. But most books are self-published. Most books don't have a publisher, even a major publisher, to put that out in the world. And I think about seven or eight-year-old me walking into a Barnes & Noble after school, which was my favorite thing to do, and walking up to a bookshelf and seeing her name.

Starting point is 00:09:26 And I get to do that now. And I am so excited. And I'm so excited that, and now at 28 years old, I have fulfilled a promise that seven-year-old me kept and really, really wanted, which was to not only finish a book, but to publish it and publish it to the point where it could literally be in any bookstore you walk into. What a gift. What a birthday gift to childhood me. Now, did she think it was going to be a finance book? That was not the idea. But that's the thing, right? Is your goals and your dreams change. They take shape as you grow older. And the thing I realized as I grew older is seeing women win was my fucking favorite thing. I knew it even then. I knew it when I was a young kid. I knew it when I was a girl. But I didn't know how that would look as I aged. And so my goals and dreams have changed.

Starting point is 00:10:30 They've evolved. I've let some go. And I've also doubled down on others. And it's not what I pictured. I pictured it like a YA fantasy novel as my book. That was the initial plan. And instead, it's a book to give you the financial confidence you need to be able to live an incredible life. I'm so excited. I've spent literally four years producing this book. This started when I was a kid, but I was reached out to by my first publisher in 2019. I put together a book proposal in 2020. I wrote this book in 2020, 2021, and 2022, and it will be released into the world in December of 2022. So I'll spend a good chunk of 2023 also marketing this book. This will be four plus years of work manifested in a physical thing

Starting point is 00:11:28 that you and I will get to touch. And for somebody who runs a digital business, it is an incredible thing to be able to have something. I can't touch this podcast, right? This podcast lives in the cloud. But this book is going to be a physical thing that generations, hopefully beyond me, I don't know, we'll maybe find an antique store. It is a physical thing. And I mean, seven-year-old me would be thrilled walking into a Barnes & Noble. I'm not kidding. Every time I walk past a bookstore, I get teary because I am anticipating the moment where I get to walk into a bookstore and see my book. I was on a flight yesterday. I passed by a Hudson bookstore and I was like, oh my God, what if I'm going to be able to walk this and see my book. So seven-year-old me's dream is realized in a book that you can now pre-order.

Starting point is 00:12:32 When I tell you that the best way to support us is by pre-ordering this book, I truly, truly, truly mean it. This has been the hardest thing I've ever done, at least professionally, the hardest thing. I fully think I blacked out for four years. That's the only way this got done. I wrote a 300-page book, an 80,000-word book. I don't know how I did it exactly. Truly, I don't know, but it happened. And in addition, I actually wrote it. Now, if you don't know the behind the scenes of the book publishing universe, you're like, well, yeah, of course you wrote it. But here's the deal. A lot of the more public people that you've seen who have written books,

Starting point is 00:13:18 they have not actually written the book. Like way more than you think have not actually written the book that their name is on. They have hired ghostwriters. Now, I did have support with this book. I had my team being able to help with research and help with citations. We also have incredible expert interviews throughout the book. However, I wrote this book and I'm really proud of that. I wrote this book, not somebody else writing on behalf of me, not somebody writing and putting my name on it. I wrote this book. And it is the physical manifestation of this movement of our hard work. And honestly, the best fucking birthday present you could give me is pre-ordering this book anywhere you get your books. The title, Financial Feminist, Overcome the Patriarchy's Bullshit to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love. I love that

Starting point is 00:14:14 subtitle. One more time. Financial Feminist, Overcome the Patriarchy's Bullshit to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love. I'm so excited. I am so excited. In reflecting on the past year on my birthday, it has largely been colored and influenced by writing this book. When I think about how this book got actually written, how this book got done, I think about all of the locations I've written this book in. I wrote part of this book in my original one-bedroom apartment, the same apartment I grew her first 100K in. That was in Seattle. I packed up that apartment to travel. I wrote part of this book in Ireland. I wrote part of this book in France, in a Tuscan villa in Italy.

Starting point is 00:14:58 I wrote this book on airplanes to and from New York, Los Angeles. I wrote part of this book in New York and Los Angeles. I edited part of this book in Hawaii. I edited other parts from my new house in Seattle that I literally just signed the lease on a couple weeks ago. This book is a global book, both in its content and also literally because I've written it in so many different places. And so when I think about the last year, a good chunk of my time, both personally and professionally, especially my headspace, was dedicated to finishing, to writing, to editing, to making this book the best it could be. And it was also something that I treasure the time that I spent researching this book, learning more, challenging myself. I have become so much more aware of,

Starting point is 00:15:59 frankly, systemic oppression, but like the depths of our financial system through the research and writing of this book. How money affects women, people of color, members of the LGBTQ plus community, disabled people, how money affects us differently. And I learned a lot of that from researching and putting, you know, episodes together for the podcast, but I really learned it for the book. Because something about writing a book feels incredibly personal. This podcast, obviously, it's a huge personal endeavor for me, but of course, I have team members at HFK who help make this podcast happen. Something about the book, though, it's so unique specifically because not only, again, is my name on it, but I'm telling personal stories. I'm talking about my own personal experience navigating these issues. And I'm also reckoning with personal finance education, financial feminism in a society that isn't focused on feminism, unfortunately, and isn't focused on amplifying women and other minority groups. And so when I reflect on the last year, I reflect on how this book has changed me as a person. Not just about how it was like pulling teeth sometimes to actually get words on the page

Starting point is 00:17:21 and how I feel incredibly accomplished for writing this book, but also how I hope I'm a better feminist because of it and how it's forced me to reckon and settle with my own privilege and also how to give you the best finance advice, the best way to navigate a financial system in a way that isn't, of course, shameful or judgmental, and acknowledges systemic oppression and talks about various issues that people are going to face. So you will hear more about this book to come, more about what's in it. Imagine if this podcast, our Instagram, our TikTok was a book full of rich detail, full of step-by-step actionable advice, full of stories you've never heard from me,

Starting point is 00:18:15 full of expert interviews, a glossary with really easy definitions for a lot of these complex jargony financial terms. This book is not just a finance book. This is the self-development book that every single feminist needs in order to use money as a tool to build the life that you want. And now in my 28th year, I am just so thankful for you all. I am so thankful for your support. You have changed my life and will continue to change my life and continue to confirm for me why this work is so goddamn important. Because I've seen you all use this work and use this advice to change your life. I've seen you take the advice from this podcast and

Starting point is 00:19:05 the advice that will be in this book to escape abusive or toxic marriages. I've seen you use the advice to pay off thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars of debt. I've seen you negotiate $2,000, $5,000, $30,000 raises. I've seen you be able to take the vacation that you've always dreamed because you've been able to save enough money. I've seen you have simple wins like increasing your credit score 30 points or saving your first $1,000. And that is the power of financial feminism. Because when you have money, when you have resources, you have choices. You've heard me say it a million times. When you have money, you have options. And this book is my manifesto for all of that. So I so as always appreciate your support of the financial feminist movement. And on my birthday, I would love, love, love to have you pre-order the book

Starting point is 00:20:16 wherever you get your books. There's a link in the show notes. And if for whatever reason that is not in your budget at this time, tell friends about it get it from your library when it comes out and yes it is available in both a physical book as well as an audiobook yes read by me and an ebook if you're a kindle reader if you're a e-reader kind of person it's available for pre-order all of these different places thank Thank you. Thank you for your support of the show. And I can't wait for you to read this book. I cannot wait for you to read this book. All right. Have a great rest of your week. I'm going to go drink a mimosa or some shit and sit out by a pool and maybe get those obnoxious Instagram balloons and a little 28 thing.

Starting point is 00:21:05 You know what I'm talking about. And I will talk to you later. Thanks as always for being here, Financial Feminists. We'll catch you next week. Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First 100K podcast. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap, produced by Kristen Fields,

Starting point is 00:21:22 marketing and administration by Karina Patel, Olivia Koning, Sharice Wade, Alina Helzer, Paulina Isaac, Sophia Cohen, Valerie Oresko, Jack Koning,

Starting point is 00:21:32 and Ana Alexandra. Research by Arielle Johnson. Audio engineering by Austin Fields. Promotional graphics by Mary Stratton. Photography by Sarah Wolf. And theme music by Jonah Cohen Sound. A huge thanks to the entire Her First 100K team and community for supporting the show. For more information about Financial

Starting point is 00:21:50 Feminist, Her First 100K, our guests, and episode show notes, visit financialfeministpodcast.com.

Financial Feminist - 31. I Wrote a Book!

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