Fine Dining - ASMR Spooning at Sizzler feat. VyVy Nguyen (The Sympathizer, Young Sheldon, Dogs in Space)

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

The boys are joined by the delightful VyVy Nguyen! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to consume his entire meal at Sizzler using only spoons Garrett plays Michael and VyVy a Sizzler commercial from 19...91  Dessert pictures are catfishing unsuspecting customers Sex eyes are the only acceptable eyes to have in a Sizzler An ASMR Sizzler birthday soundscape, performed by VyVy Garrett pulls out the Fine Dining Bylaws to address Michael cheating at his You-Must Bowl punishment JUB welched on a bet once too Shrimp. Shrimp! SHRIMP! VyVy forces Michael & Garrett to spend a lot of money for the next episode... Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Sizzler stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Mastro's Ocean Club! If you have ever worked for Mastro's and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the fine dining podcast the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I am your host Michael or Nellis and I'm your host Gerdz work and we have a guest with us today and we'll get to her she can wait. Oh wow VV1 welcome to the fine dining podcast. Thank you. Thank you. I'm mad at you for podcast. Thank you. Thank you. I'm mad at you for I was like, Hey, I think we want you to come with us to Sizzler and like you didn't suggest Sizzler, but your immediate response was, I love Sizzler. I never said I had good taste. That's fair. You choose to go out to eat with us. So clearly, your taste are mediocre at best. Which is the point of this podcast. We are looking for the most mediocre restaurant in the country, all those chain restaurants that we grew up with shoving into our gallots and getting larger and closer
Starting point is 00:00:58 to death every single day. These are my all time favorite places to find out my aunt and uncle are getting divorced. Yeah, we're talking places like Chili's, Applebee's, Denny's, the like. Yeah, Applebee's is the most mediocre restaurant we have found two days. Currently, it's sitting at a 5.02 out of 10. We are looking for the perfect 5.00 out of 10. And we are rating these based on the atmosphere. The service... And the food. There it is! Hey! I was just taking a nap if you put on the atmosphere, the service, and the food. There it is. Hey.
Starting point is 00:01:27 I was just telling everybody on the spot like, you know the drill. You're uneasy saying food because we're not sure if we can call what we ate yesterday, food. I think you're being very harsh on Sizzler. I think Sizzler's getting what they deserve. Okay. Now, if you do want more from us,
Starting point is 00:01:44 we are going to extra places and putting them out on our Patreon. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. This month we're chronically our journey to the LA County Fair. Woo! That's a lot of grease. It was a full day of just trying a lot of stuff. Fine dining party of three. For now our table is ready, but we'll be back right after the intro. Complementary butter and bread these walls have growth signs Mid-neck cowboy hat, good luck hat, ultra-graph guitar Some crap from your city, behold the trusty of mediocrity
Starting point is 00:02:31 I'm dining Let's find dining Find dining Two ledgers on the sign are shining Me and I'm flickering irregular timing Identify the perfect buy! How the 10? I'm dining!
Starting point is 00:02:50 I'm dining! I'm dining! First impressions! Garrett was the first one to arrive, right? I'd drive into this labyrinth of a parking lot. The lines aren't straight. It's not parallel, nothing makes sense. There's a car literally parked diagonally in a spot that's not a parking spot.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Blocking off half of the path to go through one direction. I don't know what's happening. I hate driving. I hate cars. This was a mess. My favorite part about this is I know that you're really fussy when it comes to anything driving related. But if I carry any more credibility by being less fussy and more patient with driving,
Starting point is 00:03:31 I can say this parking lot was an absolute mess. It was a nightmare. VV when you pulled up, we were just like running, like we pulled out like the orange flight tarmac guy. We almost lightsabers moved cars to give you more space. So it was like Tetris. It was, yeah. And none of us had the straight piece.
Starting point is 00:03:51 So. No, well, everything was at a different angle, which was throwing me off. Nightmare of a parking lot. And then to kind of rub it in your face, there's just a big sign that says, celebrate stake and lobster right below on the marquee below the sizzler sign and it's like I don't think you've earned the right to say anything about
Starting point is 00:04:12 Celebrating like this isn't a place you go to celebrate. This is a place you go to mourn We have a real life example of this later Garrett you went directly to the bathroom. This was about as clean as a Dodger Stadium bathroom. Oh no. By like the sixth inning. This wasn't like a start of day baseball stadium bathroom. There was paper all over the floor.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I walk in, the sink's just running. No one hurt me at all, previously. So I'm like, oh, is this the way it's supposed to go? At least I didn't have to touch the sink to turn it on. Now, maybe there was an invisible man washing his hands. Oh, maybe. Yeah, so I got one real close. When he got dead it as his legs always like,
Starting point is 00:04:57 oh, I'm gonna activate my powers because I don't wanna be seen here. I went into the bathroom later, nightmare lighting. It felt like I was walking into like a David Lynch truck stop if those two words can go together. It just felt like a place where you just go and you're like, I need to spend as little time in this room as possible for my safety. It was a very different energy.
Starting point is 00:05:19 It was the same in the women's restroom and paper towels everywhere as well. I didn't know what was going on just clearly. Like the floor, the counter. The floor, the beans were overflowing. Someone had not come in to check this bathroom in days. Yeah. To be fair, I don't think anyone wants to go in there. What's also funny is there's like a sign
Starting point is 00:05:38 on the back of the door that's like, we hold ourselves to a higher standard for hygiene, let an employee know if anything needs tending to, I was like, I think they know. There's like carved in graffiti into said sign. Who's carving stuff in a bathroom? I've never understood that. Like, does that happen in women's restroom
Starting point is 00:05:58 where there's like carved in graffiti? I feel like it's more pens. Oh, there's so much like carved in stuff on like stall walls and stuff like that. I'm an cave man and you know, I don't know. I used to write poetry in bar bathroom stalls with a Sharpie. Was it good poetry or was it drunk poetry?
Starting point is 00:06:16 Or both? Why not both? Yeah. Yeah. I have to give an award for this bathroom, Garrett. You know what award I'm gonna give. I have to give out this week's, this is way too much award.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Way too much award. This is... Way too much. The height of the urinal in the men's restroom was obscene. Like, my... is not that high. It's not like...
Starting point is 00:06:41 What yours is it? Well, you'd have to be like six foot five to have like, oh comfortable, like, it just starts, you pull your pants down and just the lip of the urinal, which is the last thing you want to touch. It's at dong level. It's at dong level.
Starting point is 00:06:55 These are dong urinals. Oh, nightmare scenario. You take it out, you touch the lip of the urinal. Oh. That's, I don't have a penis, but that sounds awful. Ha ha ha ha ha. Not only is it awful, it's way too much. I do not want to do that.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Then you come back out, all right? I'm arriving, and there's a salesman on the front deck of this Sizzler Veevy. You weren't here yet. I know, I'm really sad I missed this. But it's a guy on a bike with like almost like a handlebar covered in hand woven bracelets that he's trying to sell. And knock off Lakers memorabilia. Yeah, just like different sports team hats.
Starting point is 00:07:40 I think he just had like three that he was just paulming. And this older couple walked out of the sizzler and he kind of just approached them and started holding up the bracelets and talking. And they kind of looked at him like, no, of course we're not gonna buy this. And then eventually he just kind of rode away. But he was also making deep eye contact with me
Starting point is 00:07:57 while you were inside. And I was just like, did you ever acknowledge his presence? Yeah, okay. But it's also like, you're not going to make a sale to me, dude. I'm all good with bracelets. I don't need more bracelets. I have zero, but not a bracelet guy. I know that's why he was making eye contact with you.
Starting point is 00:08:14 He's like, yo bro, you got to accessorize. You have a lack in your life, and I've got the solution. Put out your hand. Bracelets. Oh, if only he had like a little slap bracelet. Oh, the feet, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, God, that'd be fun. And then he kind of went away.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Veevy showed up, I talked about him, and you were like, you had no proof he existed as far as your concern. And now he sounded like you just made him up. You know, that's what this whole podcast is. It's all just a fever dream of mine. Garrett, you're something that I dreamed up in a nightmare. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:08:44 I am a nightmare to this world. And then on the door before we go in, there's like the hours of the establishment waiting. Yes. And every single, like it had three different sets of hours. It had its Monday to Thursday hours, its Friday, Saturday hours, its Sunday hours. And in every single set, there was information missing. It says hours we sizzle. Monday to Thursday, 11 a.m. to 9 colon, and then both of the minute digits
Starting point is 00:09:17 are missing, but it says PM. So 9 something PM, maybe just 9. 927 PM. Could be 927. We don't know. 959. Friday Saturday 11 a.m. to something zero zero PM. Yeah, it's in the blank. It's like a full artist place. This is like when you get a party that goes till question mark.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Oh, sizzlers, the cool kid on weekends. Their parents aren't home and they've got a keg. And then Sunday 10 a.m. to nine. And again, no, like, was there a shortage on these little vinyl digits that they have? And they're just like, oh, in this economy, we're gonna be efficient. I think you're just trying to box Cisler in.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Let them have the hours they want. You don't need to restrict their flow. They realize Cisler was all hippy-dippy. Yeah, you're being the man to Sizzler right now. I am the man to Sizzler. That's true. So we go inside. The first thing I'm seeing is like artsy photos
Starting point is 00:10:17 of like a sparigus. And then the second photo is this really sensual photo of a woman like with just lust in her eyes, And then the second photo is this really sensual photo of a woman like with just lust in her eyes, feeding her partner presumably something on a fork from a personal Michael. Maybe not. Maybe it's a total stranger. I'm not gonna judge what level of relation
Starting point is 00:10:39 she has with this guy required to be sensual. That photo, we'll put it on our Instagram, but it really tickled me because it's just kind of a new level of sensuality. I haven't experienced it any of these places yet. Both you guys will see soon. Sizzler just knocks it out the park with their advertising. Do they?
Starting point is 00:10:58 I'll pull up a commercial. A bit. Nice. So then we get past all of these photos. You see a big menu on the wall. The menus in complete. There is nowhere on the menu that it tells you where the sides are. Yeah, and what I realized too was there was a tiny, tiny menu when you get to the register that has the sides, but you would not know to look at it. I saw that tiny menu and I even scoured it and didn't see sides there.
Starting point is 00:11:22 I guess I didn't look at the other side of it. I don't know. It was very small. Yeah, it's like they know their food isn't great. So they're just hiding as much of it as possible. Yeah, I was very overwhelmed looking at this menu because I'm always, one, I'm overwhelmed by the fact that you have to know what you order before you sit down. I like to sit down, settle in, take notes,
Starting point is 00:11:42 take in the atmosphere, then pick up a menu, start figuring out what I want. And Sizzler was not conducive to that, you walk in. It's a line, I'm waving people past me. It's LouBees all over again. At least I don't have a cone of shame on my neck this time, but I still, it wasn't a fan of the lay out.
Starting point is 00:12:01 I get the layout, like I'm not knocking them for the layout. It's a common process at some restaurants, it's a certain style. But yeah, we were stuck in the line, trying to figure out what we wanted and other people, we had to tell them to go past us because we weren't ready. Which is always a weird thing
Starting point is 00:12:16 because they always look confused yet grateful. And those two emotions right next to each other are always kind of like, you don't really know how to take it in. Because you feel like a zoo animal being stared at in. Because you feel like a zoo animal being stared at, but also you feel like a zoo animal being appreciated because you're a rare breed. Hey, as long as we get noticed, okay.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I know that is your mindset. But yeah, I was feeling overwhelmed by the layout. I ended up figuring it out eventually, but it was one of those things where I was just like, you guys figure out what you want, and then I'll just, I'll take the scraps, I'll take what other menu items we're gonna wanna talk about.
Starting point is 00:12:51 I don't care what I end up getting. There was a sidebar on it that said the taste of the tropics. Yes, because Sizzler is so known for their tropical videos. For their exotic departures. Yeah, it felt like it was reaching for sure, which by the way, it was presented as four unique menu items, but then when you look closer,
Starting point is 00:13:14 it's steak and menu item one, steak and menu item two, or just menu item one on its own, menu item two on its own. So like, they're really stretching it thin to be like, oh, we've got this whole section, it's two things. So like they're really stretching it thin to be like oh we've got this whole section It's two things so they're taco bellying it. Yeah, exactly where it's just the same elements Repackaged in different ways over and over and over again, but they put like sand and palm trees behind it Yeah, they're gonna say in it and I was like yeah, that sounds like sizzler that will improve the taste My steak tastes sandy and that feels appropriate Yeah, maybe that would tenderize it
Starting point is 00:13:50 Yeah, well Garrett if you don't mind could you tenderize us with some information about the background of sizzler? Can you beat our meat into a cookable texture? I'm Say that again Can you oh wait? I see what I said. Wait, did you not realize what he said? Garrett, can you hit us with Resty Facts Roundup? Let's, yeah. As we all know, my mom is not a fan of the abrasive whip sound
Starting point is 00:14:20 that we use to round up Resty Facts. It doesn't mean we're not whipping them into submission. But it doesn't mean that we're replacing the up rusty facts, it doesn't mean we're not whipping them into submission. But it doesn't mean that we're replacing the sound effect of it. So instead of the whip noise, we're gonna replace it with the first sound we each feel when we think of Sizzler. No.
Starting point is 00:14:40 The first Sizzler opened up in Culver City, California in 1958. Oh, close. That's the year my dad was born. Sorry dad. Didn't mean to out your age, but you're old. You're better than Sizzler dad. I think most things are. Hey, let's not discount the compliment to my dad.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Oh, well, okay, sorry. I was not just your dad. Sorry. Vivian, the house just dad dissing up the night. I did this, this is where, as it's like love, this is where. No. Sizzler started off wildly successful, and by 1965, they were up to 100 locations
Starting point is 00:15:20 mostly in California. Wow. 107 years? Yes. Wait, that's a good pace. Wow. And not only this was late 50s, early 60s, 100 locations.
Starting point is 00:15:31 Yeah. Because like Mendocino Farms is doing really well for today and there are like 100 locations in nine or 10 years. No. People loved their 99 cent stake dinner, which is about $10 in today's money. So a $10 stake dinner, that's a good deal.
Starting point is 00:15:49 When I think stake, I'm not really looking for deals. Yeah, that's fair. You know that the discount is directly proportionate to the, well, that's not true. There are some very good stakes that don't break the bank. I'll say at this point in Sizzler's history their meat was quality and They were at that point. They were just in a Forty years ago. Hop home style steak restaurants, okay, okay, and for that 99 cents you got a steak a baked potato and a dinner roll
Starting point is 00:16:20 That's a pretty good deal. Yeah, I appreciate both of those sides. If I could pick two sides to put with almost anything, Big Potato and a dinner roll. Yeah. Coming in strong. I would take that over a Big Mac meal. Yeah. Cheaper than a Big Mac meal. Now.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Yeah. No. An excerpt from a franchise guide, which is a literal directory encyclopedia of American franchise opportunities from 1970 describes the restaurant as the following. Sizzler Family Stake Houses is the originator of the moderately priced, fast service, limited hours, and menu stake operation and is a leader in the field with over 170 units operating in the United States. Leader in the field sounds like something
Starting point is 00:17:06 I would never describe with. But this was in 1970. Limited hours. We don't know what the hours are. Exactly. I don't know. Nothing's changed. That's been their, their MO since the beginning.
Starting point is 00:17:19 It's like, we're not gonna tell you. And in the fiscal year of 1970, they were projecting sales exceeding $30 million with an average of two new restaurants opening every single month. Whoa. And at that time, the growth plan calls for 300 units at home and abroad by 1974, which spoiler alert, they never hit that number. I was going to ask. Yeah,, when did the downfall start? Oh, the next year.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Oh, here, we're gonna get into the downfall soon, but let's have a little more fun first. So, we're still enjoying the, we're still on the upper part of the roller coaster. We're here in the clicker. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Was that your butthole tightening for, when you get to the top of the roller coaster? No. No. They grew and adapted. They added a salad bar in the late 70s and they shifted focus to an all-you-can-eat buffet style or what they called a buffet court in the early 90s. The goal was kind of to have a restaurant with inner restaurant. So they had two clear delineations. There was the grill section and the buffet section and they introduced this entire concept with the most
Starting point is 00:18:29 90s promo video ever. Let's play it. Oh All across America, the song of freedom rings. Sizzler is the one who brings us choices. All over America, a quiet revolution has been taking place. They want choices, variety, all at a reasonable price. Sizzler brings the choices that you've been looking for by holding to traditions, yet changing with the time. We've truncated this video for both copyright and time reasons, so
Starting point is 00:19:20 you want to check the whole thing out, The link is in the description of this episode. ["Sizzler"] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! A restaurant within a restaurant. Okay. What did I just watch? For those of you listening, go look at Zizzler promotional commercial 1991 on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:19:47 You will not regret it. It is four minutes and 41 seconds long. It is perfection. This is why. It's the most 90s commercial you will ever see. The hair is so good. If you weren't alive in the 90s and you were curious, check this out.
Starting point is 00:20:07 If you were alive in the 90s and you wanna relive it, check this out. I don't know if this was the 90s. It was so patriotic, like so overly patriotic. Oh, shit. This feels like the type of like, you know in North Korea where they play like videos that are totally just meant to brainwash you to think.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Yeah, I totally know that. That was my childhood. Yeah. This is the American equivalent of the US. A restaurant within a restaurant. Based on freedom. I like that they're doing like restaurant section. That's what Sizzler is. Like, they said the word choice, like six or seven times, freedom about the same amount, America.
Starting point is 00:20:47 There were so many like subliminal buzzwords in there. There are also a lot of weird like subplots. If you're just looking at some of these characters, they've run into this promotional spot. This was pretty deep for something that had no depth. A third of the characters in here, like having torrid affairs, it's pretty clear. Almost all of them. Almost all of them.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Almost all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No people of color. Well, a few. A few. Yeah, just a token amount. Yeah. Y'all didn't see anyone that resembled anything like you, right?
Starting point is 00:21:17 I thought he did, but not anything like you. Yeah, what does that mean? Yoloration. You know that. They don't know that. They don't know that. They don't know what I look like. You're last name. I said it.
Starting point is 00:21:31 I think I get it last name. You were in person last name. He was Asian. Gosh. Yeah. I'm canceled. Yeah, for mentioning race at all. We got this.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Yeah. It's an Asian only podcast. Oh, no, he's leaving. You guys take it. You got it. Okay. Okay, well, we'll just keep going with Rusty Facts. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:54 No. Wait, no, actually come back. Come back. Oh, no. You got to come back. I know, Michael, come back. We don't have the rights to that. Oh, well, well, okay. Well, okay. I guess we're gonna proceed with that. We'll just keep going. He's gone to the kitchen. We'll let him get some some snacks. He's just opening up cupboards and looking at them and closing half of them just leaving one door a skew. Yeah, I was gonna say I see a lot of spaghetti sauce. at them and closing half of them, just leaving one door a skew. All I have is sauces, right?
Starting point is 00:22:26 Yeah, I was gonna say, I see a lot of spaghetti sauce. No, this is sauce. Oh, okay, sauces, tomato sauces. Do you just like take spoons and eat your sauces? Oh, he's very adept with spoons as we, as we were. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Okay, okay, I walked in here. There are currently 81 locations in seven states in Puerto Rico, which is down from a peak of 270 back in the 80s. Whoa, there were a lot. Yeah, they never hit their 300 goal, but still they got close. But you're saying in Puerto Rico?
Starting point is 00:23:00 Oh no, no, no, and in Puerto Rico. Oh, and Puerto Rico. I was like, why is Puerto Rico have like so many Sizzlers? They do the, it's like six or seven right now in Puerto Rico, like, which is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. That's when you think about it. You are just making so much noise over there. You just trying to come back, Michael. He's just shoving things into his mouth. He just wants to snack. This was your excuse to take a break. Welcome back. Hi. Thanks. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:25 What I miss. So something about Puerto Rico. I miss her. I thought Puerto Rico, like, 200 locations. Sizzling. You're back. Perfect time.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Let's talk about the decline of Sizzler. Oh, it begins. This is why I came back. This is what I'm here for. So it peaked at about 270 back in the 80s. So when you think about it, this chain has been in decline as long as all of us have been alive. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:23:51 We have never witnessed Prime Sizzler. Oh my God. I thought I had witnessed Prime Sizzler, but I hadn't. Nope. You thought that was... Well, as a child, as a child, not now. All right. Do you say so?
Starting point is 00:24:04 You mean what we ate was not prime, Sizzler? Lunchables are prime childhood food. Yes. No. Sizzler has filed for bankruptcy twice. Oh, come a's. Yeah, oh no. Once in 1996, after the absolute failure of their buffet rebrand.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Wait, there was another rebrand? This was the 1991 commercial. This rebrand here. Got it. So they made the mistake during this process. They lowered their food quality. Yeah, that doesn't ever seem like the right move. No, no.
Starting point is 00:24:39 The thing was, people are just making this buffet their entire meal. Okay, we don't need to focus on any of the other things. Oh, shoot. So then their steak's just plummeted. So the first restaurant, not the restaurant within the restaurant, but the base restaurant was what they're like. We'll cut from there. We'll cut the thing we actually are.
Starting point is 00:24:55 Yeah. The steakhouse, yeah. Okay. No. During that time, they also introduced the garlic cheese bread. Okay. But this is what bugs me the reason they did They wanted a cheap tool to fill up and coat your stomach at the beginning of the meal so you eat less
Starting point is 00:25:12 Trixi well little did they know that us non-cheese lovers came on in as we're immune sleeper agents I do feel like I'm in a safe space among you because I also don't like you. Exactly. You found your people. I did. No. The second time they filed for bankruptcy was recently in 2020 due to the pandemic like. Oh, that makes up. Yeah. I'm going to go to a buffet when people are sick because yeah, they literally had to close all dining down. And how are you going to get take out from a buffet? Yeah, without quality of But the pay when people are sick. Because yeah, they literally had to close all dining down and how are you gonna get take out from a buffet? Yeah, with that quality of meat, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:50 They do do it, they're on door dash. Yeah, they're on all the services. We know this because we saw all of their designated counters. But the whole time we were there, we only saw one door dash driver pick up food. No. we only saw one door-dash driver pick up food. No. In 2000, over 60 people contracted E. coli
Starting point is 00:26:09 from a Milwaukee Sizzler. Oh no. And one of them died. Are you surprised? I mean, even by that, but I'm not surprised. Yeah. You didn't get sick. It just, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:22 It hasn't even been 24 percolate hours. Oh no. Yeah. It was just a meat cross contamination issue somewhere. Oh no. Yeah, 60 people, one location Milwaukee. So, Sizzler killed someone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:36 And it gets worse and weirder. Wait. Oh, how? Okay, let's go on. No. In 2006, all Australian Sizzlers temporarily shut down all of their salad bars after rat poison was found in soup and lettuce at two locations.
Starting point is 00:26:54 No. Why? How? Like, is that like a disgruntled like mass poison? Like someone in the house? Like a certain kind of a rat. Like a certain kind of a rat. Poison pellets in their soup.
Starting point is 00:27:03 So, what happened? A 58 year old woman was later arrested and charged with leaving the poison. But it gets weirder. She escaped from the mental institution. She was being held at while awaiting trial. This is like a movie. This is the shit I came here for when we went to sizzler. These are the stars I expected and they are delivering. She was never caught. Whoa, she's still on the lamb. I assume she is because I scoured the internet. There is no mention of her being caught.
Starting point is 00:27:33 The last mention of her is her escaping from a mental institution in 2007. Oh my God. Now, the very least this was Australia, so we've got a little bit of separation between us. Who knows if she left Australia? Yeah, she may have. I'm just saying, the world was literally her oyster, so it didn't have to be LA where she came. So I don't know, I feel like the odds of her being near us are small, but the odds of her being a listener of this wonderful podcast, very high. So I please don't poison us if you're listening, which I know you are because everyone is the vast majority of sizzler locations remaining are in California and around us.
Starting point is 00:28:09 She got away with her crime. Okay. I don't think she's returning to sizzler. It tastes like she did. Oh no. I don't know if it tasted like rat poison. Well, thank God I can't get the salad bar. Yeah, rat poison tastes better probably Cuz then we don't have to try to digest this it says on his epitaph Rat poison tastes better probably Garrett's work No And one last fun note let's bring this out on something funny not involving involving death or poison. All right. I don't know. Those were pretty funny. A former Iowa State Senator once claimed a training course he took while working at
Starting point is 00:28:54 Sizzler to be an actual business degree. A spokesman from the Iowa State Republicans described the situation as this was a management course he took when he worked for Sizzler, kind of like hamburger university at McDonald's. Is it like you just watched a couple promotional videos like a driver's head, like a laser's course?
Starting point is 00:29:13 Go to the packet. This guy was actually elected to the Iowa State Senate and reelected. Oh no. Is he still there? No, his second term ended in 2018. And that will do it for this week's Resty Facts Roundup. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:29:31 At this year. Okay, so now we're sitting down at the table. There's like a fancy metal sizzler sign on the far wall. Some birthday balloons. Oh, for a birthday party. For a birthday party. Yeah, and it's not just like, it's because.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Yeah. Hey, you never know. They're just like, it'll probably be someone's birthday. To be fair, I don't know if there was a birthday over there, we didn't hear anything. Do we want to go and do it? Let's just go and do it.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Okay, okay. Yeah, it's just right there. Yeah, we have to give this week's, this is Way Too Little Award, which we never give out. We rarely use that award, but sometimes something just so small happens that we gotta take note. This is Way Too Little. There was a birthday song.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Now, I know what you're thinking. You've given the this is Way Too Little Award to a birthday song before that was a little underwhelming. Yes, we did. And we probably did it prematurely because this took the cake or maybe it didn't. I don't know. Was that unclear of a birthday that maybe there wasn't even cake to take over a dozen people at this table? I have never seen so many people make so little noise. Yes. While singing the birthday song. It was so somber and it was like
Starting point is 00:30:52 Happy birthday to you. And then my favorite part was there was like two people going Like you know the little claps happy bird. They do cha cha cha. So they have pizzazz to them, but they had no volume to, it was what, 15 people. Probably. And it sounded like, like a funeral procession. It was just so grim and sad. And I was like, yeah, that's a sizzler birthday. It is.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Wasn't there a birthday balloon, the big one like black? Yes. Yeah. You know, the color scheme of birthdays or it's just like, yeah, this is just dark and not colorful. Yeah. Lots of joy. Yeah. It was definitely way too little. Yeah, it was just so unimprinted. Like it was like the birthday equivalent of ASMR. Or like the Sizzler equivalent of like warning talk radio. Sizzler ASMR.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Yeah, what would that be like? I think you can do better than that, Veevy. Fuuuuh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. That VV. Fuuuuh! Kuchu! Kuchu! Kuchu! Kuchu! Oh, hi!
Starting point is 00:32:07 Is that me? I want my mouse. Kuchu! Kuchu! Kuchu! Kuchu! Kuchu! Kuchu!
Starting point is 00:32:16 Kuchu! Ding! Order's up! Kuchu! So there I was. Stagnant. Stagnant time, standing still, a year more senior, my seventh straight birthday inside a sizzler.
Starting point is 00:32:35 This wasn't supposed to transpire this way, spending the lion's share of my thirties struggling, searching for a severance from this sick and saddening cycle. Show me a surf city squeeze or a slice of Sicily for once. Seven instances at Cislar, a sad suburban supper sanctuary of substandard salads, soups, and steaks. A silver sea of sameness. Shameless, sibilant whispers surround me, the saturation of sizzlers' signature soundscape, the sauteing skillets and strident saucers serve as a stereophonic symphony of stagnation suffocating my very spirit with their suppressing spell
Starting point is 00:33:32 my soul thirsts for something to supplant this cyclical situation ensnared in this sort of unsatisfactory soul I seek emancipation from this cell, to which I've been sentenced. The smallest consolation you can submit me? Sing that stale song of my birthday if you must. Softly, it seems significant to you, but then, be still.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Can a sister savor some silence? Silence, I said! I can have a check. Super. Next summer, I'll stay inside, sequestered, and celebrate in solitude. So-so sustenance isn't solely a signature at Sizzler. Perhaps baby-back ribs at the bastion of below-average bites, bruise, and burgers. Chilly. You made all of those sounds by yourself. Yeah, I did. I'm a pro. Yeah, I did. I'm a pro.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Yeah, okay. Now, the actual seating part of the restaurant itself, I thought, looked like the restaurant attached to a college dorm cafeteria, like the seating area where it's just like, it felt like all of the, I mean, is furniture the word, the booths and the tables and stuff like that and the banisters, everything felt like it was gotten on resale from another restaurant that went out of business. Like none of this felt even remotely new.
Starting point is 00:35:17 It felt like hand me down restaurant seating. For you, University of Michigan folks out there, it was the Mary Markley dorm cafeteria straight up. Toats. Yeah, we get that too. I'm the only human that gets our reference, but yes, you have guys out there and girls and humans. Someone out there is excited.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Yeah. You did reference when we were there, kind of the olive garden of it all, the fact that everyone looked related. Yeah, everyone did. This is a family's date. Something like that. Disfelt a little different from olive garden though,
Starting point is 00:35:52 because here it was like, oh yeah, you do not take anyone here who you're trying to impress. This is the place where you go with people here like, whatever, they see me in sweatpants all the time, fuck it. Like, that's a different. Yeah, you just dare to eat. Yeah. Not necessarily to have fun, like whatever, they see me in sweatpants all the time, fuck it. Like, that's a thing. Yeah, you just dare to eat, not necessarily to have fun or converse with each other.
Starting point is 00:36:10 You just wanted to literally get out of the house and you just end up at a sizzler and you're like, whatever. I remember I took a girl to a McDonald's date once. I did a chicken, I did a food court chicken fillet day once. It was a first day. I mean, I was in seventh grade,
Starting point is 00:36:25 but like, it was like a middle school day. I was in college at the time. Oh. Yeah, I knew better, but I just didn't care. Yeah, this is cheap. It's the test. If she's cool with McDonald's, then great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:41 There was wood everywhere. A lot of wood. Everything was wood. The booths were made of wood. Well, I mean, with how lustful their advertising is. Sizzly, we've got wood. That's just their vibe. They're trying to really get you in a mood.
Starting point is 00:36:57 But they ruined the mood with the shitty drop ceilings and the dirty green carpet. Yeah, can we talk about the buffet area just visually? Like, we'll talk about the food element of it later, but yeah, it had this gatti town shane over it. They just haven't mastered buffet lighting. No one has. Yeah, it wasn't very appealing.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I feel like Chinese buffets tend to do the lighting pretty well. It's a little bit like the war orngy light instead of more of light on a buffet's better than this bright fluorescent light that shows all the imperfections in performance. Empurities. Turn them on and turn them off. Blow in the cartridge. I did have a favorite part of the buffet though. There was a picture for key lime cheesecake right above the.
Starting point is 00:37:43 What it was. Oh no. Oh no. Full. What do you call this the bowl? The container full of key lime cheesecake the cheesecake slot the cheesecake slot. Of course, you know, I'm about to slot shame because the picture and the dessert did not match. No, this was cat fishing. Just at its core, this was dessert catfishing. It did not look like it's profile picture. I'm also when Gary came back from the table, he was like, yeah, it's catfish pie.
Starting point is 00:38:14 And I went, what? Because I thought it literally was catfish. But the worst part of it is you had that reaction, but you didn't exactly immediately dismiss it as untrue. You are exactly right. You are impossible. It could. This is the type of place that might try such an abomination.
Starting point is 00:38:32 I guess it's like I have to have his pie now. Yeah. Oh God. So Garrett, you started to notice something that was happening kind of gradually. Yeah. As people finished their meals, got up left, the busser came, cleaned up the tables, no one was reset in our section.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Specifically, all the tables that we bordered. We were in almost like a grid-like shape, so it was probably eight tables all in all. And there were people around us when we started. Yes. And the other sections were still being seated everything else was pretty full So you know, I don't want to say it was something Targeted about us, but it does bring up a question Garrett. It does make me ask what's going on over there? So Garrett, what do you think was going on over there?
Starting point is 00:39:29 I have a theory. You know how sex eyes are their whole advertising stick. They're all de-all. They're mandatory. Sizzlers all about the sex eyes. All about it. And you know one thing none of us did? Sex eyes?
Starting point is 00:39:43 Sex eyes. None of us gave sex eyes to anyone in the restaurant Or to each other Or to each other I mean this food does not put anyone in any sort of mood No Yeah, I mean my eyes were focused on Powering through
Starting point is 00:39:57 The stuff that I was force feeding myself Just to give the people at home who listen to our podcast A review of it Yeah, we did not fit with the quote unquote aesthetic of the restaurant. So they refused to sit anyone around us. They didn't want to bring down their restaurant by us non-sex eye humans.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Oh, very asexual eyes. Yes, the sizzlers just filled with a bunch of horn dogs and we did not fit like total boner killers That's why the urinal was so high So Sizzler just some like secret sex club. Oh, maybe that's why there's so many paper towels I don't think a worse segment has been done on this show yet. Just this implication of just, you go to Sizzler, come for the food, literally.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Oh. Oh. This is off the rails, but also I think it is in fact, what's going on over there. So we got over there. All right, well, we got to rate this atmosphere. It was sad. It wasn't the saddest place I've ever been, but it's still pretty sad. I'm gonna go one thumb down, kind of a right in the middle one thumb down.
Starting point is 00:41:17 I wasn't mad while I was there, so I can't be like, I hated it, but I didn't like it. And that bathroom really also brought the whole energy down. Yeah, yeah, that was a haunted place. It felt different from the rest of the restaurant. Veevy, if you have to hold your thumbs up or down in any specific direction, how you feel about the atmosphere. I also am giving it one thumb down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:42 I wanted to give it more, but... It didn't hurt it. It didn't, unfortunately. Yeah. I wanted to give it more, but it didn't earn it. It didn't. Unfortunately, yeah, get it. Everything looks worn and outdated from the scuffs and scratches everywhere on the boots to the falling apart drop ceiling in yellow beige walls. I have no nostalgic attachment to this place and it feels like I've been transported to the not too distant past when the first question at a restaurant was smoking or non-smoking.
Starting point is 00:42:07 This did feel like a place where like if we were asked that when we walked in, I feel like I wouldn't even think twice. This was the time when you still needed an AOL CD and a phone line to get on the internet. So like, Sizzler, stay in the 90s. I don't want you here in the present time. Want them down. All right, moving on. Surface.
Starting point is 00:42:33 The service situation here was kind of interesting because it was that restaurant within a restaurant thing where they're kind of, their process is different. You go in, you order it a counter, then you hit the buffet, then you go to your table, and they take your receipt from you, and that's how they know what you ordered. And nowhere do they explain this process?
Starting point is 00:42:55 No, they just kind of give you a receipt and send you to your tape. Like if you put that receipt in your pocket, like what, I mean, I assume the server will ask you. Yeah, they didn't give you like the number on a stick that you can just make it very clear that that's where you would have been a really easy solution. They just kind of send you on your way and they're just like figure it out. It was that kind of feel. We did have a server that came by our table, she took our receipt, you and I hit the salad bar, Garrett, we went up, came back with our food, and then you two got your meals delivered.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Yes. I did not. And we waited. And we waited. We weren't gonna ask, just we wanted to see how long this was going to take. I did, because she never said your food is on its way, but you know, you kind of give them the benefit of the doubt and you assume. It was so much shrimp.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Yeah, it wasn't shrimp or shrimp. It was shrimp. Shrimp. Shrimp. Let's do it again. Shrimp, shrimp, shrimp. Let's just keep doing this. This is fun for me guys.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Shrimp, shrimp, shrimp. Yeah, that's what I ordered, which I'll get into reviewing that later, but that was literally the name of my dish. Like how can you forget that order? Come on. It says it to you three times. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:10 It didn't bother me too much because of the salad bar. I was able to go get the hot appetizers and whatever else I wanted. So I was able to kind of keep myself full or eating at least in the meantime, not that any of it was good. But, you know, I eventually was like, she stopped and was like, is there anything else you guys need?
Starting point is 00:44:29 I was like, yeah, I ordered this. She turned it around quick. She came, it's like it was just there and she just didn't know. It had been waiting. It's almost as if it had been waiting. Yeah. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Oh, also, she brought you the baked potato without the butter you asked for oh I had to like Peace me all my potato together because I said no sour cream It does come with butter and chives which I wanted both of those things and all you got at first was a sour cream I got it on the side on the side. Yeah, I got a side of sour cream and a plain baked potato I guess I hadn't glanced inside I assumed that it was coated in butter So I was just like oh can I get the chives and she's like yeah sure she brings me the chives cream and a plain baked potato. I guess I hadn't glanced inside. I assumed that it was coated in butter. So I was just like, oh, can I get the chives? And she was like, yeah, sure. She brings me the chives.
Starting point is 00:45:09 They come out. I put them in. Realizers. No butter. Hey, can I get butter? Yeah. Okay. Fine. So now she forgot the plate initially. Then I had to ask to get the plate. Then it comes out wrong. Then I have to ask for chives. Then I have to ask for butter. So it's like five interactions to get the full assembly of my potato. And that was just your side. That was just the side that came with my shrimp shrimp shrimp. And it was kind of entertaining to it felt like she was like smuggling it to me like and peat. Oh, can I tell a story? Yeah. Okay. No.
Starting point is 00:45:44 So if I had to give a thumb rating to service. So I worked on a movie, probably in 28, you've done so much more than me. Okay. I was a PA, I was a production assistant, the lowest rung of the ladder on a movie. This was probably five or six years ago now. And it was an I was a production assistant. Okay. The lowest rung of the latter on a movie, this was probably five or six years ago now, and it was an independent production being shot out of this guy's condo,
Starting point is 00:46:12 the director and writer's condo, that he didn't have permission to film in from the like housing association. Oh no. Oh, good. And he was so paranoid about it that he requested that every single thing brought in for the movie was smuggled in piecemeal like that like literally in your butt in your butt It was so uncomfortable like like he literally took a week to get all of the camera and lighting equipment into his apartment
Starting point is 00:46:39 He had people taking like one piece at a time now. I'm the PA I have to do runs for like bagels and coffee and stuff like that. And so I go to a grocery store, pick up a couple travelers of coffee, I get like two dozen bagels or whatever. And he yells at me when I get into his home with them because he was like, they're gonna think
Starting point is 00:47:02 that this is for two dozen people. I was like, what do you want me to do, man? Do you want me to go to my car, one bagel at a time and bring that like, what is your, what's the answer here? And he like flipped out on me for having like the travelers of coffee and he was like, why are they in those big containers?
Starting point is 00:47:19 That's clearly for big groups. I was like, that's how liquid works. Do you? Yeah. Maybe he just really likes coffee. I don't know what he did. He want me to have 24 cups of coffee. Also, by the way, everyone knew the front desk knew. They were kind of like, hey, so what's going on in there?
Starting point is 00:47:39 And like the valet were like, hey, so how about that movie? I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm like, okay, man, it was just so dumb. He wanted you to mama bird the entire crew. Yeah, that's what he wanted me to do. It reminded me of that when she's like bringing out my big potato piece at a time. The service other than that, I mean.
Starting point is 00:47:58 She was nice. She was nice. Tables weren't exactly busts frequently, I guess. Like there were definitely like- The food at the table next to us kind of remained there for a while. After they had left. Clearly, we didn't give the buster's sexize.
Starting point is 00:48:13 We didn't give anyone sexize. That's what it took. Yeah, the bathrooms obviously had not intended to, which I almost never associate with service, but at this point with how it was, I kind of have to- The bathrooms got too many sex eyes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:26 So, I'm just going to go one thumb down on service. Like she was nice, she was very quick when I would make another request. The only flaw really of hers was just not explaining the process, but not explaining that process was kind of a thing where I'm like, I'm confused. The potatoes coming out, piece at a time, the bathrooms messy, tables are unbust. So just the overall of the service, one thumb down. I'm gonna give this one thumb down, just because the method of ordering
Starting point is 00:48:52 and the style of the restaurant already limits this. Yeah. Toss in, Michael's forgotten meal, and the fact that they forgot shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp. So one thumb down, unfortunate. Yeah, it's all been said before One thumb down as well. All right. Well, that's it for service Food All right, well, we've given some downward facing thumbs already, but prepare for more as we go into the food for sizzler
Starting point is 00:49:20 Hmm, I mean hold on not all of us I first sizzler. Mm. I mean, hold on, not all of us, but away. I didn't think it was that bad. Really? And that's the whole point, right? That's supposed to be amazing. It's supposed to be okay. And I had an okay experience. Oh, you mean the point of our podcast?
Starting point is 00:49:41 Yeah, well, the podcast and my experience that I had, and it's a good word. Yeah. Cause you're saying. I'm looking for mediocrity. I did not find mediocrity here. I did not either. Yeah, all right. This did not measure up to medium.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Your state kind of did though, but we'll start with other things. That before we really get into talking about the food, I was punished this week. Because last time, for medieval times, that place scored a little too low and I had to draw from the you mustful. I had to draw a punishment and enact it at this restaurant. And my punishment was that I had to eat my entire meal
Starting point is 00:50:23 using only spoons, which I did. We imagine this was going to be extremely difficult. And yet it wasn't. I am a dexterous man. You cheated with some added health. I don't know if I cheated. I got a loophole. You got a loophole.
Starting point is 00:50:42 You got a loophole. You got a loophole. You got a loophole. You brought a performance enhancing spoon. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole.
Starting point is 00:50:50 You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole.
Starting point is 00:50:58 You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've got a loophole. You've for a loophole to get around it? Shame on you! But good for me! I'm gonna help you save face! If you vouch on a bet like I did that one time and it's great at a sleep over at
Starting point is 00:51:12 Edinburgh Shanski's parents' lake house where we were playing high stakes Mahjong and the loser had to go to school the next Tuesday because it was a three day week and otherwise it would have been Monday. Dressed head to toe in a dark wing, Duck costume, including a detachable poly-vinyl chloride beak and a purple cape, which I didn't want to do because BVC makes me break out in Hives! And it painted me as this guy who always bailed on things! Which is kind of true, given how many business ventures I pursued without truly giving the previous one enough time to take off!
Starting point is 00:51:41 And it ended my friendship with Aaron Brasansky. So if you're related to that, we're peas in a pod! I'll help you back out of a thing that you don't want to do, or at least find a loophole! I've always been looking for ways to keep my word, even if I'm a technicality! So call me! Not on a phone! Just go track down Aaron Brzanski, tell him I'm sorry! And I'll do it for you for free!
Starting point is 00:52:00 Wow, what value? Okay, bye! Free! Wow, what value? Okay, bye. So I got a grapefruit spoon with the serrated edges from where? From Sirletab. Tabla. Why do you also on like Borat with that? Sirletabla? There's how you have to say it. I don't make the rules.
Starting point is 00:52:20 I just live in a society. Everything sounds like Borat. Sirletab is the word that you say that immediately gets your eyes to relax into sex-eye position. That's just, so the top. And then you're just, oh, what up? Yeah, I heard that. Hit me with that passion. So I brought a grapefruit spoon, expecting to get steak.
Starting point is 00:52:37 I ended up not getting steak. We all know what I got. Shrimp. Shrimp. Shrimp. But yeah, so I had a little bit of your steak and was kind of using it to cut. I didn't have too many things.
Starting point is 00:52:48 I needed to cut that cut that steak very well. Yeah, it was quite well serrated. I think it actually cut my steak better than my own knife. That's right. Cut my steak. You had a knife that, I mean, again, it felt like a college dorm cafeteria. Your knife was overweir as well.
Starting point is 00:53:03 It was back from the 80s. Yeah, it had not been sharpened since. No, so this was an annoying challenge if nothing else. You made me drink my water with the spoon. Now, are you meal? My teeth, it is. My teeth are very sensitive to ice and I kept scooping ice and putting them in
Starting point is 00:53:22 and then I'm like, my teeth are freezing and it's a mercy boy. Hey, you don't have vocal. How dare you. I'm a fan of the podcast and I know the references. There's a fossil little boy Michael is a fossil little boy Yeah, I think you're being a fussy little boy Sustained Hahaha Yeah, so I spooned the water into my mouth and got over it pretty quickly because of the ice I was just like, I'm just not gonna drink a lot this meal
Starting point is 00:54:02 The first thing we did was hit the salad bar. You didn't get salad though, right? No, I took a look. I was gonna get some soup. There were three containers of soup, chicken noodle, mystery white ol' pec chunky, and mystery red chunky with one giant onion in it. I think it was clam chowder and tomato soup.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Okay, I genuinely could not tell. They were not labeled, they just looked gross. So I just wanna risk it. That's just, hey, here's a fat testier luck. Did they have like a film over them like as if they'd been sitting for a while? I didn't touch it. I didn't look at those.
Starting point is 00:54:35 I ended up getting some of the chicken noodle soup. How was it? It looked okay. No, it was bad soup. With the oyster crackers, help. Yeah. With a good oyster crackers? Yeah, but they're like pre-packaged like.
Starting point is 00:54:46 Like the standard. The scissor didn't make them. They just ordered them and put them in a box. So they synabon, stolen, or I know, with their crackers. Yeah, so the chicken noodle soup, my note just says, three out of 10, black. The noodle texture was disappointing.
Starting point is 00:55:01 It felt like a bad version of canned Campbell's soup, I guess, with just really thick noodles. The chicken wasn't very plentiful. The taste was just not good. So, three out of 10, the noodle texture was probably the main thing. It was also the hot bar that was right next to this. And it was about a quarter of the size.
Starting point is 00:55:22 It was a nacho bar spaghetti bar taco meat Yeah, like a taco meat rectangle filled with basically taco bell beef. No, it wasn't even that good Okay, this was pasty mush meat to me. It looks like more like refried beans than meat When I tried the meat it was weirdly smoky. Why is my taco meat weirdly smoky? Yeah, I, because of the sizzle. My immediate thought when I was eating this taco, because I made a taco, I put a little bit of green onions.
Starting point is 00:55:54 And it was nice, like, they had green onions out there. That was cool. And I couldn't find the salsa. I know you found it. I literally just didn't see it right next to it. But as soon as I put this taco together, I had this thought that, I'm gonna pay for this later.
Starting point is 00:56:09 This looks like a food poisoning taco. It just looked like something that isn't gonna work out for me. I've been okay, but again, not even a full 24 hours fast. Maybe it needs time to marinate in my system, but yeah, what would you give your taco? Taste wise, didn't hate it, five out of 10, three out of 10 for that taco for me.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Balancing it on a spoon was not easy. And yeah, you made it work. Yeah, you know, I accounted for where the new center of gravity would be after each bite. So I was always adjusting my spoon to be in the center post bite. So I managed I was always adjusting my spoon to be in the center post-bite. So I managed to keep it on my spoon the whole time. You all seemed rather impressed and I was very proud of that. The nacho chips there, they were cold, hard and flavorless,
Starting point is 00:56:54 there's a 2 out of 10 nacho chip. And you got what was this? The sweet Thai chili chicken? Yeah. My note just says no. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Two out of 10. This was just bad. It was a texture nightmare. It was so squishy. But like, it seemed like it wanted to have like a fried chicken crunch to it a little bit
Starting point is 00:57:16 and it did not. It was just too soaked in the sweet Thai chili oil. Yeah, it looked really sad. You tried it, right? Yeah, it wasn't great. Yeah. But it just looked bad to begin with. It looked pathetic.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Yeah. I zoomed in. My piece looked like it had a black head on it. Oh. Yeah. Gross. Yeah. Two out of ten disgusting chicken.
Starting point is 00:57:39 It was bad. I also from the Taco Bar got spaghetti. You always get spaghetti from the worst place got spaghetti. You always get spaghetti from the worst places. I like spaghetti. I like spaghetti. But face spaghetti is just a travesty. But face spaghetti is still legally spaghetti. And that's enough for me to want spaghetti. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:57:55 My note just says unremarkably simple. It was just a very simple tomato sauce, a very simple meatball and very simple noodles. I'm still going four out of 10. The very bottom end of ten, the very bottom end of average. I didn't hate it. Wasn't good. And you ate it with a spoon. And I ate it with a spoon, which that was probably the most difficult thing to spoon down. Yeah, also from that hot appetizer section of the buffet. I got a potato wedge,
Starting point is 00:58:21 just like a big buffet fry chunk. Four and a half out of 10, it was just, it was a potato chunk. That's about it. Hard to mess up potatoes. Yeah, yeah. And they, I wouldn't say they messed it up. They did nothing with it that inspired anything in me, but they didn't mess it up.
Starting point is 00:58:37 And then I got a potentially chicken wing potential nugget. I didn't know until I took a bite, I guessed wrong. Yeah, it had bones. I thought it was a nugget, so I just took a big bite out of the top of it, and I was like, oh, that's like a, when you order wings and you get the little drumstick, oops, yep, so I just bit into bone, and then quickly like pivoted, which by the way, also with a spoon, difficult, not easy, had this been just like a chicken nugget, easy with a spoon.
Starting point is 00:59:02 With bones, I take back this spaghetti, this was the hardest thing to effectively eat with spoons. They brought us the table bread, finally. Now, Veevy, you liked it. Yeah, so I admittedly don't like cheese like you two, but because Sizzler was such a big part of my childhood growing up, there was one right down the street from where I lived. I do have some nostalgia with the cheese bread.
Starting point is 00:59:27 And actually, I feel like they put less cheese on it now, too. I remember back in the day, it used to be like, this crust of cheese. And this time it was more of like a light spread of cheese. So Garrett, you had a bite of it. It wasn't overly cheesy. Yeah, it was just kind of like a nice saltiness added to some bread and so it was fine.
Starting point is 00:59:48 But you could tell it was cheese. Yeah, I found a recipe for it. It's a one-to-one ratio of cheese and butter that goes on it. Oh, it's probably the butter that really makes it so good that it's the other day. But yeah, I would say it was pretty tasty.
Starting point is 01:00:03 I only asked for one slice because I knew no one else at the table liked cheese. And then they brought three. And as you have one slice, I think for each of us, but I ate the rest of it. I'd give it a six out of 10. It was decent. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:13 And Garrett didn't hate it. I tried it. It's a four out of 10. It wasn't overly cheesy. And what I specifically liked about it and it had that orange yellow grease glow. You do love your orange grease. Now, I did love that this bread came on a piece of paper
Starting point is 01:00:29 that they used for marketing purposes, and it had like a bunch of little quotes on it, but there was one in particular. Or they were supposed to be positive. They were intended to be positive, but I don't think they thought through the double meaning of one of theirs. No.
Starting point is 01:00:43 It says, what did I do to deserve all this? And then it attributes the quote to your appetite. And it's like, you're right, what did I do to deserve all this? I'm better than this. I've lived a good life. I've been nice. Why karma? Why?
Starting point is 01:01:01 Yeah, they definitely didn't put this through like a test. Grataw. Yeah. Now, even though none of us got it because we're not cheese people, Sizzler has maybe the single worst menu item I've encountered anywhere. They've got the Malibu chicken, which is like a fried chicken cutlet with like lunch meat ham on top, covered in lunch meat Swiss cheese.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Lunch meat. Meat cheese. Meat cheese. Oh, cheese. Just a bit of meat. It looks so disgusting. It looks like Sizzler is doing a professional lunchable. I don't know what to make of it.
Starting point is 01:01:41 It looks so gross from pictures. Oh, yeah, we looked up the photo on Yelp and it was just gross. Yeah. And what's worse is like there are Yelp reviews of people who order it and love it and post pictures of it. And the pictures do it no favors. Oh, God. Maybe the flavors come together if you don't look at it. I guess people used to eat like tuna jello. Oh, yeah, that was a thing.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Yeah, wait tuna casserole jello, meat jello, like from the time period of when sizzler was created. So like the 50s and stuff, there was just bullshit. Oh, Americans used to eat the weirdest crap, but this is just trash. Yeah, just conceptually. It looks insulting. It just needs to make me flather in mayo. It, stop. It makes me cringe to think about. To make you like Midwesty. Or ranch. Ooh, cover it in bacon crumbles and rain. We're moving on to the next thing. Just stop. American cheese and Swiss. What do I nacho cheese? Karama, Karama. Mayo and nacho cheese on top of this.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I'm muting your mic. Cutlet. Oh no, I saw him do it. Okay, so now on trays, we know what I ordered. So I'm gonna talk about it. I'm gonna talk about the shrimp, shrimp, shrimp. I literally got it for the name. I saw the name on the menu and I was like,
Starting point is 01:03:06 that can't be right. It was right. And I had to order it. Well, actually even based on the proportion of shrimp you got, it was more like shrimp shrimp shrimp shrimp shrimp. Yeah, it was way more one of the types of the shrimp. So the shrimp shrimp shrimp comes with many crispy shrimp, jumbo crispy shrimp, and shrimp skewer side not included. So literally, this is in a section of the menu where it says one side included. And then this one specifically is like, you don't get aside with this. It did come on a rice peel off. So I think that forced the rice peel off. Yeah. It was kind of hidden too. It was and it wasn't spectacular anyway.
Starting point is 01:03:47 It's just mattering of rice. It was like a four out of 10. It just, it did nothing really for the dish, the rice. The mini shrimp and the jumbo shrimp were both crispy shrimp and they tasted identical. Literally the only difference between them was their size. Yes. They were fine.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Then the grilled shrimp skewer also fine. Five out of 10 came with a cocktail sauce, which I'm not the biggest cocktail sauce guy. I tried it. I was like, okay, you know, that's an interesting flavor. Don't hate it, don't love it. It was hard to dip those with your spoons. Oh. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Yeah. I put one in and it decided to take a swim. And I was like, well, oh, and the grapefruit spoon did so much good work with this shrimp because they all still had the tails attached. So if I'm eating this finger food, I'm holding onto the tail and biting so that I don't eat tail.
Starting point is 01:04:43 I can't do that when I'm destined to only spoons. So. Sounds like a dating app. Sounds like more than a dating app. Oh, wait, oh, I know only, I'm just kidding, only fans is not a dating app. Only spoons. A lot of users of only fans probably wish it was a dating app.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Yeah. So having this grapefruit spoon helped so much being able to like slice off all those little tails and stuff. So I don't care if it's cheating Garrett. There's not gonna be any consequence for cheating. So whatever just you see Anyways overall shrimp shrimp shrimp. Five out of ten. You guys didn't say it with me Well, you said it so fast. You should have known Overall the shrimp shrimp shrimp was a five out of to good job, five out of 10 dish. I ended up going for the taste of the tropics.
Starting point is 01:05:31 It's so exotic, I know. We had to go it. It's so slow. We thought it might as well. So I got the steak and honey garlic shrimp. Admittedly, the steak, it was like a tritip, was really chewy, really salty. My knife wouldn't cut through it. Your spoon cut, right? My grapefruit's so great.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Yeah, so I would say that was around a four for me. You should have hit up Sir Letab. I should have. Honey garlic shrimp, which we all shared as well. I think the flavor was decent. The breading around it was really, really thick. We did a cross-section of it and the proportion of the... Breading to shrimp meat. Was egregious.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Yeah, yeah. But it was tasty. Sure. And the sauce I thought complemented it pretty well. Did you do any bites that were bite of steak steak with the shrimp like what do I want? Oh, I did it. Like the combo that I don't know if it's how they're advertising it, but the fact that they're pairing them.
Starting point is 01:06:32 I didn't even think that. Maybe because like the steak and the shrimp give each other the sex eyes, they get together on the spoon for you. Oh, and I kept them apart. Mm-hmm. You did not. You denied them. They're destiny.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Oh man. So much regret. Let's not assume it's love. It ishmm, you do not. You deny them, they're destiny. You deny the love. Oh man. So let's regret. Let's not assume it's love. It is lust when you're in a sissy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We never say anything about love here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not looking for anything long term.
Starting point is 01:06:54 Yeah, it's just a lot of settling. Yes. Oh my gosh. In a nutshell, that is Sizzler right there. Settling. So I would say I thought the shrimp was decent. I gave it a six actually. I did finish it all. I brought it home and then ended up devouring it within a few hours. So yeah, so sex for the shrimp. I had a bite of it. Yeah, I'd probably be around there,
Starting point is 01:07:17 maybe a five and a half. Okay. That wasn't hating on it. I tried it. I hated it. Really? Yes. So Garrett had this expression every time he ate something that didn't really change and it was just Disappointment. Garrett is the most expressive eater you will ever see. He either enters Flavorvana where he literally gets lost in something Yeah, he sees eyes kind of like float. He gets a lazy eye for a second It's just like goes in a different direction. Droll starts coming out, he sinks into his chair any moment. And I didn't see that yesterday. There's living plan to Sizzler.
Starting point is 01:07:49 You're not seeing Flavor Vana, it says Ler. You just saw Rage. And then that's a Rage, I just saw Sadness. Yeah, there's Flavor Vana and there's acceptance that this is life. This is our life, people. You had existential Sizzler. Existential dread from the other end of the spectrum.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Three out of 10 for those shrimp. The breading seemed like literal cardboard. I think the sauce was preventing me from maybe experiencing it the way you did. The one I got was very coated in sauce. Not quite as much as the Thai chili, but yeah. I also tasted your steak. My note was not upset about it, but not good,
Starting point is 01:08:29 five and a half out of 10. Yeah, you rated it better than I did. Yeah, what'd you give it? A four. Okay. I gave the steak a four, the shrimp sex, a baked potato on the side, which was, I mean, you can't really mess up a baked potato.
Starting point is 01:08:40 We've seen it happen. Okay, well then this was, this was a seven in my book, because it was a good baked potato and there was a green onion and stuff. I don't think I rated my baked potato or did I? rated now, five out of 10 for my baked potato. And then I also got a drink. It was a strawberry lemonade and the lemonade was okay.
Starting point is 01:08:59 It was pretty mediocre, but they had these strawberry chunks on the bottom that once you got to those were delicious. They were super sweet and very tasty. I was actually really excited then to get to that point where I was like, oh yeah, it's just strawberry. It's like a drink at the bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:16 So I give the drink a seven. Okay, okay. I heard that drink raved about on Yelp. Oh, did you? Oh, because the woman at the register, I'd asked her what was popular. And she was like, oh yeah, the strawberry lemonade's pretty good. Flying off the shelves.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Yeah, so I got it. And when I first sipped it, it was not very impressed. But when I got to the strawberry, excellent. I got a ri-bye. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I have never gotten a good stake on this podcast. So I ordered this thing medium rare and it arrived more medium well well done.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Yeah. And I don't wanna talk too much about this. It just makes me mad. All this was was just seasoned sandal leather. Oh, it looked like it too. Two out of 10 hard, tough, salty leather. You gave me a pretty good chunk and you specifically chose the chunk.
Starting point is 01:10:09 It came pre-cut and you gave me the stuff that wasn't because you wanted to watch me struggle with the grapefruit spoon. And my note was, does this have skin on it? Oh! Like, stick shouldn't have skin, but it seemed like it. To me, it wasn't the part of the cut that I got
Starting point is 01:10:27 wasn't as bad as I expected. It's still a four and a half out of 10, but it's not in the range where I'm like damning it to hell or anything like that. So you should have tried the middle. I feel like this whole podcast is us trying the middle. Oh, yeah. Isn't that the point?
Starting point is 01:10:43 I mean, literally, it's so fun, the perfect middle. Yeah. He's not the point. I mean, literally, yeah, it's so perfect. The perfect middle. Yeah, our body composition is just deteriorating over the run of this, though, for certain. I got fries to they started off crisp and firm on the outside and soft and pillowy on the inside. They were great. But the longer I ate them, the heavier and heavier the grease got this was just like our fries at Chetters, and by the time I was about three quarters of the way through with the fries, I just couldn't eat anymore.
Starting point is 01:11:12 All I tasted was grease. So, 5 out of 10. So now dessert. We saw the catfish cheesecake. Oh. Oh. Oh, I avoided that. I got two things. I got the head a little soft serve machine where you could get ice cream and ahead sprinkles,
Starting point is 01:11:29 nuts, Oreo bits, chocolate, caramel sauce, no whipped cream, but other than that and like a cherry on top. It had the stuff you would want, the works. No fruit chunks or anything like that, although I guess you could have gone over to the salad bar and gotten a little crazy. Oh yeah. And to open your soft serve. Slow down.
Starting point is 01:11:46 So I got that, made it to a six out of 10. This is the first part of my meal that got to a six. Wow. I put caramel sauce, chocolate sauce, nuts, Oreo crumbles and sprinkles. And I thought I was decent. Yeah, and you pilfered me some. I did request some soft serve on the side.
Starting point is 01:12:04 And I thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean, the vanilla flavor was very bland. Yeah, I couldn't taste the vanilla flavor. It was like half of the flavor that McDonald's has. It was all topping. Like the topping is what gave you your flavor. Yes, but I did enjoy it, so I gave that a six out of 10. The only I was sad about was like back in the day,
Starting point is 01:12:25 it says, Larry, like you would actually put it in like a nice kind of, it looked like glass, but it was like plastic. So you wouldn't, you know, break it easily. But it was like these little fancy bowls that you put your dessert in and enjoy and feel like a fancy person. And now they give you these paper cups and plastic spoons. Yeah, that's fitting. That's appropriate.
Starting point is 01:12:44 They had cones as an option as well. Oh, okay. I'm sure the cones tasted the same as like the cardboard paper cups. Yeah. They didn't look like that fresh. They definitely looked like they came in like a sleeved box of like a hundred or something like that. Oh, but they didn't even have the benefit of staying in the sleeve.
Starting point is 01:13:00 They were just out in the open air all the way. Right. Yeah, they are out in the open for sure. So yeah, no. This flavorless ice cream, three out of 10. Did you put any topping on it? I put no topping on it. I wanted to taste the ice cream.
Starting point is 01:13:11 I wanted to get the true ice cream experience, which was nonexistent. When I go to Sizzler, I'm not trying to taste the true experience of anything. I'm taking as many cheats as possible. I'm bringing a grapefruit spoon. And then the last thing I got, I ordered a chocolate cake.
Starting point is 01:13:25 They had pictures of chocolate cake and carrot cake on their website when I looked in advance. That's where I learned about the shrimp shrimp shrimp. And I was like, okay, I have to order that. Great. They have a chocolate cake. I'll get that. Fantastic. This was not fantastic. It was just like a little birthday party in a plastic container cake covered with like multicolored the like spherical sprinkles I like the cylindrical sprinkles. I don't like the spherical ones Those are two like you bite down on them and they like pop and I don't know if they get stuck in your mullers and what not It wasn't medieval times bad But it did have the texture of the soul of a shoe. So two out of 10 for this cake?
Starting point is 01:14:05 Definitely. Two out of 10 on that. It was dry, dry, dry. It was kind of reflective of that birthday party that was next to us. Just just sad. Just quietly sad. Yes.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Yeah. Two more things. The catfish cheesecake. The key lime cheesecake. That was a two out of 10. All it tasted like was mildly citrus flavored whipped cream. That's it. Okay.
Starting point is 01:14:31 And then the best thing of all of all. Oh, when your expression did change. Yes, finally. My first and only good expression of the night, the banana pudding. Yeah. Banana pudding number four now on the history of this podcast. This was a seven out of 10 banana.
Starting point is 01:14:46 Really? Yes. Like this is the saving phrase. I praise. It didn't look good. No, it was looked terrible. It was juicy. It was sweet enough. Taste was sublime. But if it had nila wafers whipped cream and was presented in some form of cohesive manner, that's a nine or 10 for me. Yeah. But as it is, even with its disc gust, frankly, it looked like semen. The last thing I want to touch on with food is the Tugou container definitely resembled a coffin. It's like a dark, black, long, and narrow opens at like hinges at
Starting point is 01:15:24 the top. It was a very interesting show, Cogs. I was just like, oh, this is on brand. They know what they're sending you home in. Easy to thumbs down for the food on this. Sizzler's food is trash. Oh, I gave it one thumb up. You gave it a thumb up? What?
Starting point is 01:15:41 It's because when I added all my numbers together, it got to a six. Or I averaged all my numbers together, it got to a six. I averaged all my numbers together. Oh my gosh. I am very kind to them. Nostalgia is the hell of a drug. Yeah. Two thumbs down.
Starting point is 01:15:54 Oh, wow. Ew, ew, ew. Gross. We're fighting you on this. That's okay. Yeah. All right, well, that's it for food. We need to give this thing a score, but before we do, we need to go to Yelp and see what other people
Starting point is 01:16:08 are saying about this sizzler location. In this week's Yelp from Strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four by eye So get a little help, a little help, a little help from strangers A little help, a little help, give us those complaints why you literally want to die Yelp! Okay, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we go to Yelp and read out our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 star Yelp reviews of the very restaurant that we went to. Let's start it off on a positive note, Veevy. You're the Sizzler Stan here, so why don't you give us a 5 star review. 5 star review.
Starting point is 01:17:02 Well, Rich M, seven months ago, said, We loved our steak and ordered a bottle of wine, white zinfandel. Fancy? Very. We haven't been in a while here, and date night with the wife. That's not a complete sentence. She doesn't need all the frills of a high-end restaurant. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:17:22 Maybe she's does, Rich. Maybe she does. She, this guy is just like, oh, yeah, my wife's cool. She's cool with a McDonald's date. We did that last week date night. Oh, this was their date night. Ha, ha, ha. We love the one surviving. Sizzler. Okay. All caps. Cheers. People of the ones surviving. Sizzler. Oh. And then he attached a picture of the wine, they'd write. Of an empty glasses of wine. Yeah, so it looks like they had a lot of wine to get through this meal.
Starting point is 01:17:53 And yeah, he gave it five stars. Oh my god. This is Sutter Home White's Inferno. What kind of a monster are you that you'll even consume that garbage? Yeah. Yeah, it's a fossil little boy. Yeah, it's a fossil little boy. Baby.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Yeah, it's a fossil little boy. Yeah, it's a fossil little boy. Like, hey, don't get me wrong. I played slap the bag just like everyone else did in college and I drink some utter bullshit wine. But bro, you're an adult. You're married. Maybe he's like eight more. Maybe he's a child, bro. Child groom. Yeah. But you're married. Take your wife to someplace nice and like don't get her whine that also comes in a box. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:45 Grow up, dude. One star review. I want to bring us to a negative place right after that. To balance out these delusional people that think Sizzler is a five star restaurant. A H, three months ago, this is their only Yelp review. Oh God. And someone marches helpful. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:06 Not good. Went to the Van Nies Sizzler along with the members of my CA State Retirement Group on Thursday. That checks out. Yeah. Everybody ordered from the senior menu. I was so disappointed and boy did the steak suck. Tough as shoe leather.
Starting point is 01:19:23 Yeah. The comparisons we have made. I kid you not. I was in a rush after the meeting. So I got mine to go and really not did know how bad it was until later. In fact, I did not know Cisler was even open anymore. Quickly, I know why they are closing most Cislers down.
Starting point is 01:19:42 As far as atmosphere, outdated decor and it was not exactly dirty, but it was light years from being clean. Overall poor choice by our president on a meeting site. One star. I feel all of that in my bones. Yeah. You could be friends with A-H. Oh, I would hang out and play P-Nuckle with A-H. Oh. You can go download our full Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode or you can go to patreon.com slash find outing podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial.
Starting point is 01:20:17 So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read oh, so many of them. Thanks. Final rating. We gotta score it, we gotta put Sizzler on the Chachki of mediocrity forever and shrining it with a score.
Starting point is 01:20:50 Garrett, what do you got? We have worn-down wood in old dirty green carpet everywhere. The server forgot Michael's food, and it's half-assed casual anyway. I'm sorry, what was my food again? Shrimp! Shrimp! Shrimp! I wish What was my food again? Shrimp shrimp shrimp. I wish they forgot my food.
Starting point is 01:21:16 I probably would have walked out having a better experience having eaten nothing. This was on the garbage level food of Gatty Town and a medieval times. Only there's no arcade and there's no entertainment. Who really wants to sit in stew in this food abomination that's been decaying since the late 80s? Just stop already, Sizzler, 2.76. Whoa, that is low. I guess we gotta balance it out a little bit, Veevy. Yeah, you're gonna be the bright light for Sizzler.
Starting point is 01:21:43 You've got the nostalgia bump, by the way. I wouldn't admit that yes, nostalgia probably does play a factor in why I like Sizzler so much, but I thought the food wasn't too bad. The atmosphere. What a ringing endorsement. I didn't talk. I didn't get sick.
Starting point is 01:22:01 That was the bar. The atmosphere was whatever. The service, not terrible. I had great company. So at the end of the day, 4.67. 4.67. All right. It's still less than five. So under mediocre. Yes. I'm kind of between you two, or at least pretty close to it. I thought this was, it was insulting, but in a way that wasn't personal. So it had a lot of room to go further down. It just felt like the place you go when you lose a bet. That's what Sizzler is to me.
Starting point is 01:22:39 And it's what Sizzler delivered. I hear Sizzler as a punchline in comedian sets and sitcoms pretty regularly, like oh, you know, so and so down on Sizzler and like, I'm not writing the joke right now, but I hear it as a punchline, I'm gonna do it in a detail as like this default shitty place.
Starting point is 01:23:00 And you know what? Yeah. Just yeah. Yeah. Just yeah. Yeah. And I didn't get laid in the bathroom as advertised. So that sucks. I'm glad you didn't get laid in the bathroom. 3.33.
Starting point is 01:23:16 So when we average all of our scores together, Sizzler, you go up on the Chachki of mediority at 3.59. Just a hair above Buffalo Wildwings. This is our fourth lowest rating. We have Gatty Town, medieval times, Buffalo Wildwings, which was just such a whirlwind of circumstance. Yeah, like I'm pretty sure we do beat Ubs again.
Starting point is 01:23:43 It goes up. It's gotta. It'll regress to the mean. Come on, it has to. Yeah, but Sizzler, I don't think you're doing better on subsequent visits. I really don't. So what this means, Sizzler did not score
Starting point is 01:23:56 between four and six. So that means I gotta go to the bowl. I gotta go to the you must bowl and get a punishment for our next restaurant pick. What? Nope. According to fine dining bylaws, section 5, paragraph 3, sentence 5. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:24:15 When one cheats pulling the bylaws on me, as I am, when one cheats in the performance of a You Must Pull punishment, the aggrieved party gets to choose the next punishment. Uh-oh. So I don't draw from the bowl. No. You made up these bylaws. I mean, that's how you create bylaws. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:37 Who's side are you on? His! I want to see him. That's screw you. Oh. Okay, so, all right, what do I have to do? For the next restaurant, you must wear a suit made out of the material of my choosing. Oh.
Starting point is 01:24:55 That sounds literally impossible and impractical to put together in time. That's your problem. So do you want to know what this is going to be? I do. Don't make it baloney. I promise it's not edible. You're going to have to wear suit made entirely of Pokemon cards. Are you serious? Yes. Where am I going to get that? You're just going to say no. My problem. Yeah, again, your problem. Ha! Got it, catamole.
Starting point is 01:25:26 Yes. All right. I look at it this way. Remember when, like, duct tape prom dresses and suits and all that stuff was cool? Yeah. For a hot minute. Were they cool for a hot minute?
Starting point is 01:25:35 Okay. It was, I don't know, it was a new story. When they were around for a hot minute. Yeah. This is what you have to do. Just make your own suit. It's just out of things that aren't sticky So I don't know how you're gonna stick them together. I'll figure something out
Starting point is 01:25:49 I will wear a suit of Pokemon cards at our next restaurant Which we don't know what it is but because we didn't find the perfect 5.00 out of 10 We need to determine what it's gonna be. We need to play a little game. We need to play The headline game. Shrimp, shrimp, shrimp. Shrimp, shrimp. The rules of the headline game are as follows. Michael will present three headlines to Garrett
Starting point is 01:26:17 that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If Garrett can correctly guess, at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Michael stumps him, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, fellas? I'm ready.
Starting point is 01:26:37 I'm ready. All right. First headline. Uproar over meat quality decline causes sizzler sales figures to plummet. That sounds true. Yeah. I believe it.
Starting point is 01:26:50 True. True. That totally happened. Alright. Claim your one cent stake at Sizzler. Go true. I believe it. It's maybe worth that.
Starting point is 01:27:04 Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe it's part of a deal of some sort, true. Sizzler closed to Cockroach infestation. Public health says. True! I have to go true on that because that's such a me headline. I just feel like it's real, that's all. Everything's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:26 Diabricus. Uh oh. Unless we'd both just lost. Yeah, yeah, it's possible. Yeah, it's possible. Yeah, it's possible. No, we didn't. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 01:27:34 Ha ha ha. Sizzler overjoyed to have achieved the expected sales growth in 2022. False. True. Yeah. You're confidently saying true. I'm not confidently, but I'm saying it. Ah. True. Yeah. You're confidently saying true? I'm not confidently, but I'm saying it. Ah.
Starting point is 01:27:48 Okay, going back over him. Uproar. Over meat quality decline causes Sizzler sales figures to plummet. Y'all both said true. That was false. Oh. Play me your one cent steak at Sizzler.
Starting point is 01:28:02 Y'all said that was true. It was true. I'm gonna read that one. At lunchtime on Monday, Levi Dickey and John Demolfetto dutifully ate salads, but the greens were mere stopgaps for the meat feast ahead.
Starting point is 01:28:15 Tuh, it'll offset some of the steak, Dickey said, casting a no-nonsense look towards his leafy plate. The friends were at Bakerfield's real road Sizzler restaurant. Oh, is that not? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. towards his leafy plate. The friends were at Baker Fields, real road Sizzler restaurant. Oh, is that not? Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh.
Starting point is 01:28:29 That head Sizzler in the title. Disqualified. I actually don't agree. The rule is that according to the fine dining bylaws, paragraph. The headline game articles just have to contain the name of the restaurant. Which that is true.
Starting point is 01:28:44 Yeah. Well, but I didn't read it far enough. I just saw the quote in there, you don't share penny stakes, which made me laugh. Sizzler closed to Cockroach infestation. Public health says you said true. That was true. I couldn't resist a Garrett S. Yeah. The fourth one, the tiebreaker.
Starting point is 01:29:08 Sizzler overjoyed to have achieved the expected sales growth in 2022. Garrett immediately went false. Vee-Vee, apparently not confidently, but immediately went true. And it was true. So Vee-Vee! You win the headline game. Ah! Where do Garrett and I have to eat next week? Where do I have to go wear a Pokemon card suit next week?
Starting point is 01:29:33 Oh, well, you guys had such a bad experience at Sizzler. So I feel like, can you go the other way with it and go real fancy with your steak? Where, I mean, where are we going? Master's? Oh, no, yeah. Yeah. Nice.
Starting point is 01:29:51 All right. Oh yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I wish I could go, but I feel like I did this to you. So you guys should enjoy. You probably had enough of me. We'll send you pictures of us just really enjoying our meat
Starting point is 01:30:04 and be like, hey, you should try this Way better All right. Yeah, we'll go to one of the fanciest steak chains in the country Yeah, maybe this is a punishment because it's expensive. Oh, yeah, yeah, it is Oh shit. Are you gonna pay for this? No, you suck. I'll buy you some coffee after this No. You suck. I'll buy you some coffee after this. Alright, well, we didn't find the most, oh god, I have to wear a Pokemon card suit to
Starting point is 01:30:31 Masteros. Yes you do. Am I going to get kicked out for like, I mean- Oh, I feel like they're going to love it. I hope so. They will have a strong reaction one way or another, so hopefully they don't be like, yeah, you can't come in here. Alright, well we didn't find the perfect 5.00.
Starting point is 01:30:47 We got to keep looking. We're not going to find it next time. I can tell you do imagine. Imagine that. That's perfect. Perfect. I believe in you. Okay.
Starting point is 01:30:57 Continue following us on this journey. Continue following us on social media. We're at fine dining podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Veevy, how can people find you? What do you want them to look out for? Where do you want them to look for you on social media, we're at Find Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. VV, how can people find you? What do you want them to look out for? Where do you want them to look for you on social media? Oh gosh, I am under the username, say la VV, C-E-S-T, underscore LA, underscore V-Y-V-Y. If you want to find me on the socials, I just did a show called The Sympathizer that'll be out on HBO in early 2024. So look out for that.
Starting point is 01:31:25 But otherwise, yeah, there's some other shows out there and on the internet, you can watch Mindy Project, NCIS Los Angeles, Paris, Dox and Space. Dox and Space, I love Dox and Space. We'll do a private show. It's on Netflix. Watch it. It's really cute.
Starting point is 01:31:38 It's got like, Haley Joel Osmond, Sarah Chauk, William Jackson Harper, really solid cast, just Netflix didn't market it. So I'm marketing it now. There you go. Awesome. Well, thanks so much for joining us. We had a blast with you.
Starting point is 01:31:49 Thanks for having me. I had a lot of fun. So, yeah, we'll have you on again closer to when the sympathizer's coming out and we can promote that then. There we go. And, yeah, next time it won't be something of the level of sizzler. Who knows? Who knows?
Starting point is 01:32:04 Let's never make that promise. Yeah, yeah, don't make any promises. I still have a lot of fun. be something of the level of sizzler. Who knows? Who knows? Let's never make that promise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't make any promises. I still have a lot of fun. And I did enjoy the food way more than you could taste. You did, yeah. So, we didn't find the most mediocre restaurant.
Starting point is 01:32:15 We gotta keep looking. We'll see you all next time. Have a fine day. Search continues. We still need the perfect fire The search continues, but life can't subscribe The search continues, our journey did not conclude The mother-right and search continues, right as soonising I do's review
Starting point is 01:32:45 And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Come on, follow us on TikTok, the same on Instagram All the socials at Find Dining Podcasts. We have a website Find Dining Podcasts.com Buy our T-shirts Then put them on And don't forget You can always suggest where we go next. Okay! We're going to find it. Media-crafting.
Starting point is 01:33:32 The search continues. See you next week! I heard my throat a little. Have a fine day. Shrimp! Shrimp! Shrimp! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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