Fine Dining - Cracker Barrel History feat. Jen Liv (Stand-Up Comedian) [Part One]

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

I went to Cracker Barrel with a CB Superfan! Stand-up comedian Jen Liv LOVES Cracker Barrel so much (she's been to over 40 different ones!) that she hopped my car and road tripped with me to go there In this Eat Deets episode, the history of Cracker Barrel includes the franchise's humble beginnings as a gas station restaurant before growing into what it is today Learn what a "cracker barrel" actually is Jen laments her allergy to eggs (or as Cracker Barrel calls them, "aigs") Cracker Barrel has its own Indiana Jonesesque warehouse filled with decor A woman gushes about her Cracker Barrel experience so hard she rambles in poetic stanzas in this week's Yelp from Strangers "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode! Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (May's exclusive episode: the No. 7 seed for this year's upcoming Septemburger tournament: Rally's Drive-In with special guest Steve Moulton), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Cracker Barrel stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Jen on Instagram @itsjenliv   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: Cracker Barrel Review [Part Two]! NEW RAP SINGLE INCOMING! But why? Well, you're gonna have to listen as Jen Liv returns to review this iconic chain that was a staple of her 20s. Ever work at Cracker Barrel? Send your stories to [e-mail].

On this unprecedented episode of the Fine Dining Podcast, nothing is sadder than a tiny coffin. And then they're like, that was their rocking chair. I have a few hours to get sick. Let's try it. I'm not trusting Cracker Barrel to help me regulate blood sugar properly. From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host Michael Ornelas and I'm looking for the middle. I'm trying to go to every chain restaurant that you can imagine, trying to find which

one is right in the middle because some people say things are good, people say things are bad, but there has to be a threshold where good becomes bad and I'm looking to find which one is right in the middle because some people say things are good, people say things are bad, but there has to be a threshold where good becomes bad and I'm looking for it. I'm trying to find that perfect 5.00 out of 10 in restaurant form. This week, I went to Cracker Barrel and I managed to find a Cracker Barrel enthusiast,

comedian, Jen Liv. Jen, how's it going? I'm good, yeah, big time Cracker Barrel enthusiast. Probably been to at least 40 Cracker Barrels in the nation. That's, I would say too many. I don't know, I was in my 20s, I was on tour and it was just like every new city. We didn't wanna like find a new restaurant.

It was like, oh, we don't have a home. Cracker Barrel is our home now. We ate so many meals at Cracker Barrel. I ate my first meal at Cracker Barrel with you for this episode. So we're gonna get into that in terms of talking about our experience, our review. That'll be next week's episode. In this part one, we'll be going into the history

of Cracker Barrel and we'll be reading select Yelp reviews of the Cracker Barrel that we went to. So without further ado, let's get to it. ["The Spaghetti Man's Theme Song"] Your table is ready, follow me. Have you tried our chicken breasts? Serving pancakes and ribs, I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy, not to impress

Your table is ready Complementary butter and bread These walls have growth signs Knick-knack cowboy hat, good luck cat Altograph guitar, some grab from your city Behold the tchotchke of mediocrity Fine dining It's just fine dining, fine dining Two dining fine dining

two letters on the sign are shining neon flickering irregular timing identify the perfect fine palatin fine dining fine dining fine dining

fine dining fine dining I don't know how much you know about the founding of Cracker Barrel. I know nothing. I was thinking about that today and I was like, they sell neither crackers nor barrels. Why? Why? But they do have a barrel on their logo, which is close enough. And I guess a white guy.

Yeah. And like a giant country store and not one barrel. And like, I saw no crackers inside. Not even one pack of crackers. Were you scoping in the, were you looking? I was, like looking back, I'm like, I saw a lot of candy, a lot of things, but nothing that would, like why?

Why the name? Why the name? I'm really hoping you're gonna tell me. I don't know. No. But let's find out. See, it's the only reason I'm doing the podcast. I want you to tell me why.

I'm going to tell you the information that I picked up. Tell me. Are you ready to go into this week's Eat Deets? I'm so ready. Let's play the sexiest theme song of all time. Eat Deets. Eat Deets. Eatery Details

Cracker Barrel originated as a restaurant-gas station combo along Highway 109 in Lebanon, Tennessee, founded by Dan Evans to provide weary travelers with a place to socialize, refuel both their vehicles and themselves, and support his family's oil business. Cracker Barrel started by an oil baron. The old Lebanon oil baron, yeah. Is that the background we're expecting? Exactly what we're expecting. If I had to put money on the founding of Cracker Barrel.

I was like, oil baron, probably? Initially, the focus was on offering both dining and fuel services. But by the mid 70s, due to the oil embargo, Cracker Barrel ceased selling gas and shifted its attention to expanding the menu and creating a distinctive shopping experience within its stores. They're like, we can't sell gas, but we can sell rocking chairs. Why? We can sell. It's probably the sell rocking chairs. We can. Why? We can sell, it's probably the most iconic part

of Cracker Barrel when I think about it. It is. Yeah, the rocking chairs. Not even having been, I was expecting and got to experience rocking chairs. There's just like 40 rocking chairs. All for sale. Some on sale, some baby rocking chairs, little guys.

I don't know why, but it's always very funny, but in like a sad way when they make smaller things. I don't know why. Because you're picturing it empty. I think I'm picturing like a small coffin, nothing is sadder than a tiny coffin. And then they're like, that was their rocking chair. You're like, God. They never grew to adulthood. They never grew to get the large chair, just the little baby one. Nobody can use it. Yeah, I literally tried and my hips were too wide.

I could not clear the- It was like, can we buy a rocking chair? Can we shove one of these into your car? I was tempted to and had I loved the experience more, I may have caved and been like, this episode is brought to you from a rocking chair. Yes. But that wasn't the reality that-

Spoiler alert. That I lived in. In the past, country stores served as hubs for local news and events, and Cracker Barrel became an essential part of these establishments. Barrels were commonly used to ship soda crackers to prevent breakage during transportation,

serving as gathering spots akin to modern water coolers, hence why barrels adorn each cracker barrel's front porch. Did we miss something? I didn't see one barrel. I didn't see a barrel either. I guess I can check the tape. Not that I got the most in-depth. There's no barrels?

Uh, oh, oh. Looking. Is there a barrel? There is a barrel. There are two barrels. OK. All right. I stand corrected.

Yeah. I stand corrected. There were barrels outside the store we went to. Didn't even see them. They weren't prominent. They weren't like, stand around us. Talk about your day here. They were an afterthought. They were a total afterthought us talk about your day here. They were an afterthought

They were a total afterthought and they're not even filled with crackers that are breakable Cracker barrels concept revolves around providing patrons with a homely atmosphere where they can relax in rocking chairs engage in friendly games of checkers socialize and savor carefully crafted meals Those are their words. Okay. Carefully crafted meals. I don't know about that.

Yeah. Cracker Barrel stores welcome guests with an enticing selection of old fashioned and nostalgic candy. Their most popular candy is the Thin Sticks, selling over 13 million sticks annually. I didn't see no Thin Sticks. I feel like we- We missed out on some stuff. May have gone in with our eyes closed. I didn't see no thin sticks. I feel like we-

We missed out on some stuff. May have gone in with our eyes closed. I think we did. I felt like we were getting a very thorough- We spent a good amount of time at the store. Taking it in, yeah. But I saw the candies and it seemed more like taffies and O'Henrys and stuff.

They had Beeman's gum and bazooka. Yeah. They had like really old- I didn't see no thin sticks. I don't even know what that is. I don't even know what that is. Maybe we did see it, but because it was unfamiliar to us, it just didn't register as a thing we saw.

Yep. Yeah. Probably a thing where like our grandparents would have walked in there and been like, Oh, thin sticks. Oh, and 13 million thin sticks annually is the equivalent to a distance of over 1000 miles from their home office in Lebanon, Tennessee, to San Antonio, Texas. So the amount of thin sticks they sell annually line up from Lebanon, Tennessee to San Antonio.

Now you know. I didn't even know there was a Lebanon, Tennessee. You're learning more than you. I'm learning a lot. Cracker Barrel serves approximately 230 million guests annually. Poor people. They serve around 210 million biscuits each year. Okay, that's the best part. Those numbers kind of throw me off. 210 million biscuits, 230 million customers.

20 million customers are not getting biscuits. You know what they're getting? Cornbread, like fools. Like fools. And the biscuits come two to an order, right? Yeah. That means only 105 million customers are even ordering biscuits. That's less than half. What's wrong with them? Y'all are making mistakes if you're out here not ordering the biscuits at Cracker Barrel.

Those biscuits are 10 of 10. Just get the biscuits and get out. Those were the thing that I ate that I was like, okay, Cracker Barrel. I was are 10 of 10. Just get the biscuits and get out. Those were the thing that I ate that I was like, OK, Cracker Barrel. I was like, I see you. All right. Approximately 162 million eggs are served by Cracker Barrel annually. I'm allergic.

You're allergic. Yeah. That would kill me. What's that like? Brunch sucks. Like, what are the things? You don't have to avoid things that are cooked with egg in it, right? Well, like if it's a custard or something,

it'll murder me. But if it's like one egg maybe spread out through like a giant, you know, batch. Batch. Like brownies or something. Yeah, it's usually okay. But if it's like more than an egg or two, I get sick. And my heart starts to race, I feel ill,

I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I get dizzy. This sucks. Dang. Yeah, brunch I'm like, I'll take the salmon. That's great. I'll pass out. Just fruit, a side of hash. Yeah.

Side of bacon. I'm sorry. That's okay. I miss eggs. Wait, was it a developed allergy? Yes, annoyingly. I know what eggs Benedict tastes like. I know all about how great sunny side egg with like a runny yolk in my like mid-20s.

No. Yeah, it sucked. Heartbreaking. Oh man, I need to knock on wood that nothing that I love becomes poison to me. Just out of nowhere. Just like, no. And it was like a slow onset. Yeah.

And like one day I made French toast, like it's fine. And I got sick for three days. And I went to the doctor and I'm like, did I get salmonella poisoning? They're like, stop eating eggs, you have an allergy. And I was like, no. Like they knew ahead of time and didn't tell you. Trying to be like, what if I just eat the whites?

What about just the yolks? What about scramble? I was doing like experiments, like I have a few hours to get sick, what if I just eat the whites? What about just the yolks? What about scramble? I was doing like experiments, like I have a few hours to get sick, let's try it. I can sleep this off. I can manage a few days of misery. It's fine. And then the last one was three days.

And I was like, that's because the eggs were bad, right? And she's like, the symptoms you're describing, you have an allergy, you must stop eating eggs. It was a very sad day. I really love French toast. Pour one out. Just an egg yolk to the floor. Just crack an egg in your hand.

People who are that dextrous, who can just pull an egg apart. Amazing. Unfair. Very. Cracker Barrel serves about 75 million pancakes each year and 140 million slices of bacon. I'm into that.

I think we missed breakfast, I feel like. Yeah, I'll do Cracker Barrel again at some point and do breakfast. Just kidding. Is that you wanting to join? I'm like, breakfast at Cracker Barrel? I still have hope. Maybe it's good.

Like, you're putting lunch and dinner to rest, but breakfast. Maybe there's a hope. Maybe maybe breakfast is wonderful. Each Cracker Barrel store is approximately 10,000 square feet in size, including the front porch, and occupies around two acres of land. They should be growing their own food, man. Two acres. That's a lot. I mean, ours was in the middle of a parking lot.

I don't think there was much room for farming. Not a lot of acreage there. There's no way that was on two acres of land. The one we went to, there's no way. The one we went to has only been around since 2020. It's a new one. It opened February 3rd, 2020. Oh, brutal.

Bad timing. It's amazing it's open still. Bad timing. You know, you got those barrels survived. Got the barrels for chat the rations. They're just eating out of the barrels just sitting there. Can we keep the lights on? Cracker Barrel restaurants typically have between 177 and 207 seats available for patrons.

Each store boasts between 800 and 1000 pieces of authentic decor adorning the walls with no replicas. That's right, the railroad pickaxe that we saw. That's a real thing. It's not made of epoxy. Okay, Cracker Barrel. Travelers account for 40% of Cracker Barrel's business. I was one of those travelers. Yeah, we count.

We count, we traveled. It was a little, it was over an hour, it was like 70 minutes in the car. Yeah, that's like a hefty drive. It was a round trip long enough to watch like an extended Lord of the Rings movie. Oh yeah. Cracker Barrel maintains more than 1600 billboards

across America to serve as reminders of their presence and proximity to travelers. I need to get some of those billboards across America to serve as reminders of their presence and proximity to travelers. I need to get some of those billboards To remind people of my presence. You got the space for just a giant billboard? Yeah, just up. Oh, you mean take it up for me. Oh, I thought you meant you want a Cracker Barrel billboard for your home. No, I'll burn it. No, I'm like, oh just a gen-live billboard in Hollywood. I exist. Just, hey, just reminding you of my presence,

just on Merrells and Highland. You're not advertising any, like there's no QR code or website. Nothing, just reminding you of my presence. Hey y'all. I'm here. I'm here, I'm doing all right. Yeah.

Yeah. As we know, Cracker Barrel is headquartered in Lebanon, Tennessee, situated just east of Nashville. The expansive 98-acre campus includes three man-made lakes and five buildings, with an additional two corporate buildings located outside the main campus, totaling over 650,000 square feet of corporate space. Should we go to corporate?

There's three man-made lakes. I think we'd get lost. I think we'd just be like wandering around looking for where to go. Security would come up on a golf cart and escort us off the property. I'd be like, can I get a biscuit at least? Anything? I'd be like, we don't.

I'm like, where's the lake? They have to have a cracker barrel. I bet they take tours. I bet they tour people around. To be never seen from a, like seen or heard from a. That's, that's what's in the barrels. Oh, people. Cracker barrel is people. Originally a working farm, the land features beautiful trees,

some of which are over 40 years old, including the rare Spring Creek Bladder Pod, found only in Wilson County and listed as an endangered species. A lot of people use those on their road trips. The old bladder pot. Or like a jug. Yeah. Approximately 90% of Cracker Barrel's ingredients are sourced domestically.

Examples include fresh Maine blueberries and real maple syrup from Vermont. I missed out on the blueberries and the pancakes. Each Cracker Barrel location boasts unique decor, thanks to Dan Evans' partnership with Kathleen and Dawn Singleton, owners of a local antique shop in the late 1960s. This collaboration evolved into Cracker Barrel having its own decor warehouse spanning 26,000 square feet and housing over 90,000 artifacts.

That's insane. Basically the little warehouse at the end of Indiana Jones. Yes. Yes. But it's just filled with railroad tools and- Just random. Muffin tins and- If they tried as hard on their food as they do at this decor,

it would be like light years ahead. They really phone it in. They've like, look, we got you in the building. Who cares now? They're like, we have thousands of antiques in here. They're like, the food, yeah, we craft it carefully. On average, each Cracker Barrel store displays around 1,000 authentic artifacts. These artifacts are carefully chosen to reflect the history and character of the specific community. Okay.

I mean, I guess I did see specific California signage, but a lot of the artifacts that they're talking about are just signs. Yeah, a lot of signs, but you know, you did get like the gold digging situation, which is very California, the pickaxe and shovel. Oh, I thought you meant people marrying other people for their money. Hey! Yeah.

The decor team meticulously researched each location's history to select artifacts that complement the town and region, effectively creating a mini museum tailored to each community. I feel like I didn't feel like it added that much to the experience. It's also you're overwhelmed by the store at the front that by the time you are seated in the proper restaurant. Yeah, that's just like it It's not like they give tours of their museum of artifacts. We could have done a lap, but it would have looked weird because we're hovering over other people as they eat.

Yeah, other travelers. Other travelers. Some decor can be found in every Cracker Barrel. A deer head is a common feature in every Cracker Barrel location. Traditionally, it is positioned above the dining room fireplace. Horseshoes are hung above all front door exteriors, symbolizing good luck for everyone who enters the establishment. Some stores feature a cook stove, which is often displayed in the gift shop area.

Truly. An ox yoke is typically found above the front doors, reminiscent of its placement above barn doors in the south, and a traffic light is always placed above the vestibule to guide guests to the restrooms. You know, I recognize a lot of those from my 40 stores. I like the idea of like green light, like come on, you can, you can be in here. Green means go, come on in. Yeah, yeah. Dan Evans personally created the original menus for Cracker Barrel, shaping them like barrels,

and featuring handwritten style text. The menus offered country cooking staples like eggs, A-I-G-S. What is that? Eggs. I don't get it. But like, it's just the, like, Tennessee, like eggs. Oh, like an accent.

Like pronouncing it that way. Eggs. Yeah. Okay, I got it. Sausage, bacon, ham, pancakes, grits, and biscuits for Braxist. I bet it was really good in the beginning. I like that, like, they're just saying that,

hey, you wanna be Tennessee? Don't spell stuff properly. Be less educated, I guess. I don't know. It's like a backwards My Fair Lady. We're trying to dumb it down for the people. Eggs. Yeah.

He's like, eggs, eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Sounds very like Forrest Gump almost. I mean, I know that's Alabama, but tomato, tomata. Exactly. The handwritten menus intentionally included misspellings and folksy phrases

resembling brown paper bags from country stores. Guests could take these menus as souvenirs. They're like, we want to come off as dumb. Welcome to Cracker Barrel. Put this on our fridge. In 2012, Dolly Parton's An Evening with Dolly became Cracker Barrel's first certified gold record. That's right, Cracker Barrel has a record label.

Has a gold record. What? Followed by a Grammy winning collaboration with Pentatonix on a remake of Jolene in 2017. I'm confused. They have a. It certainly sounds that way, doesn't it? They have like their own record label?

I mean, how hard is it? You just have to like sign up and call yourself one. I don't know, you put out a couple songs. Whoa. Probably collaborate with an existing studio. I don't think they're building their own studio. They're like, Dolly, do you mind? Waffle House also has its own.

Really? Yeah. Wow. It's kind of funny to me. All right. I did not know Cracker Barrel had their own record label. Dan Evans opened the first Cracker Barrel location in Lebanon, Tennessee off Interstate 40 in 1969.

Even then, the cornbread was made from scratch, a tradition still upheld today. I'm not champion then the cornbread was made from scratch, a tradition still upheld today. I'm not championing the cornbread. The cornbread sucked. We'll get to it. We'll get there. We'll get there. But stop advertising like, oh, our cornbread.

Just put that one under the rug, dude. Literally tasted like they got it from under the rug. Yeah, it was just like... Hey, we found this. Do you want it? Yeah, we got it from a scratched floor. It's from scratch. Cracker Barrel has produced over 10 million peg games exclusively for its stores.

The peg game found on every table is a beloved pastime for guests waiting for their food. We did play. We did play. They have a peg game. It's like a little triangular thing with a bunch of pegs in it, and there's an objective on it. We'll talk about it more. We'll get into it.

But it's a thing. Contrary to popular belief, the restaurant has no relation to Cracker Barrel sh**. I kind of maybe thought that they did. Because that would make more sense than them having a record label. Like what's the secondary business of Cracker Barrel? Record label or sh**s? Well you're like what goes with crackers? Sh**s. Yeah. Cracker Barrel's website offers a variety of kitchen products including popcorn makers, pots, pans, and home decor items.

You can also find candy, clothing, and gift baskets for Cracker Barrel enthusiasts, which is what you previously had described yourself as. I'm recovering. I'm recovering. I'm probably gonna relapse for breakfast, though. I'm not gonna lie. I'm like, I need it.

You have to turn in your 90-day chip. Is that how it works? You have to turn in your, I don't know anything about AAA. I don't, but I feel like you turn it in. If you relapse, you how it works? Do you have to turn in your, I don't know anything about AAA. I don't, but I feel like you turn it in. If you relapse, you like give it back? Yeah. It's like if you get a four year chip

and like you relapse. And then you break it, you're done. You still have the chip. So yeah, I guess you would have to. You gotta be like, start from zero. I ran a marathon specifically because I wanted one of those medals. Yeah. And I'm like, if I become too sedentary, do I have to turn it back in? They're like, oh, you haven't been running I ran a marathon specifically because I wanted one of those medals. Yeah.

And I'm like, if I become too sedentary, do I have to turn it back in? They're like, oh, you haven't been running any long rounds in a while. We're going to take that. I've relapsed to just being a couch potato. Sedentary lifestyle. Sorry. While milkshakes aren't listed on the menu at any Cracker Barrel location, you can ask your server to make one?

We should have researched first, I feel. And according to Yelp reviewers, they're considered one of the restaurant's best kept secrets. This restaurant definitely has some secrets it's keeping, and we will get to those. This is like their animal style, right? They've got their secret milkshake menu? What? Oh, I can feel myself relapsing.

I'm so mad I didn't know this before we went. We could have got a milkshake instead of that glorious dessert. Oh my God. On Thanksgiving Day, Cracker Barrel serves an estimated 650,000 pounds of turkey, 1.1 million slices of pie, 8 million ounces of gravy, and 1.6 million ounces of cranberry relish across the country. Dang. The homestyle turkey and dressing meals are the menu all-stars on Thanksgiving,

but the heat and serve holiday family meals to go and homestyle turkey and dressing family meals to go are also very popular options. That's so much. That's crazy. There's a lot of people getting their Thanksgiving dinners from Cracker Barrel. They're like, you know what sounds good?

Mediocre Cracker Barrel. They're like, you know what sounds good? Mediocre Cracker Barrel. Honestly though, like. It sounds good. If you are looking for, I mean, I assume it's semi-affordable. It's probably affordable. But also you're looking to save like. Time.

The effort of making, I mean, it's not bad to have these options. It's an option. Cracker Barrel stepping in, filling a void. I'm not filling it. So, Cracker Barrel is no stranger to controversy. Uh oh. In 1991, Cracker Barrel faced controversy

after a company-wide directive led to the firing of 16 employees whose sexual preferences did not align with normal heterosexual values, sparking accusations of discrimination against gay people. It's not even an accusation. Dude, for real? It just is. No.

1991. I'm ashamed, keep going. Stockholders organized resistance against Cracker Barrel's discriminatory policy, leading to founder Dan Evans' apology and retraction of the policy, with the requirement to explicitly forbid discrimination in the corporate policy. Okay, so they recovered.

You know, they made the necessary changes. I'm upset. We're not done. Oh no, I can't take anymore, my heart. In the early 2000s, Cracker Barrel has found other ways to attack our hearts. In the early 2000s, the... Cracker Barrel has found other ways to attack our hearts. In the early 2000s, the Justice Department accused Cracker Barrel of racial bias after a civil rights investigation revealed mistreatment of African American patrons, including discriminatory

seating practices and poor service responses. Like nationwide? I guess. I mean, the Justice Department. Damn! Yeah. That's bad. Despite denying the accusations, Cracker Barrel faced negative press and legal action including a 2018 incident where an African-American veteran was accused of cursing at a server in a West Virginia Cracker Barrel leading to a court case and further scrutiny. Oof. Oof. So.

Oof. My heart is just broken right now. Yeah. And I don't have any more facts to like, to mend your heart. Nothing to be like, but in other news. Look, I'm leaving you like Cracker Barrel did. Not a lot of hope as you exit.

Not a lot of hope. Not a lot of hope. And that'll Not a lot of hope, not a lot of hope. And that'll do it for this week's I Dites. Get it? I got it. All right, so we've covered the history of the Cracker Barrel franchise. Depressing.

We have a review to give. Okay. We have a review to give of Cracker Barrel, but that's gonna come next week. This week, we're going to see what other people said about this Cracker Barrel location in this week's Yelp from Strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four star, five star, yi-yi So get a little Yelp, a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers A little Yelp, a little Yelp Give us those complaints while you literally white and die Yelp!

Ah! Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite one, two, three, four, and five-star Yelp reviews of the very Cracker Barrel at which we dined. Three-star review. I'm gonna start us off with a three-star review. I thought you might. From IMJ from San Fernando Valley, California,

written January 6th, 2024, got a gift certificate for Christmas to Cracker Barrel. So we drove from Hollywood to Camarillo to have a late lunch, early dinner at that location. Already? Relatable to us. Starting off poorly. Who does not love you enough

to get you a Cracker Barrel gift certificate? Who's punishing you? Who's punishing you? They're like, would you like to drive over an hour to get a little lunch? Going there, I knew this was a comfort food restaurant and not particularly for diabetics. We still planned a drive to Santa Barbara, California,

so I didn't want my sugar to get too low, and I was a little hungry. So I ordered the three eggs and bacon. Grandkids ordered chicken fried steak. I love that he's just like. He's a grandpa. Let's keep going. Look, my blood shuggy.

The blood shugs. I'm like, did they serve him a lot of sugar? Where's this going? I'm not trusting Cracker Barrel to help me regulate blood sugar properly. Not trusting. Not in the slightest. Took a min for the food to arrive.

There were only two waitresses for the whole restaurant. Ooh. When we got our food, it was not hot. It was cold and I only got two eggs. I mentioned to the waitress I hadn't gotten the third egg and she just said, oh, I must have forgot. No biggie, I guess. The cold food, the missing egg, really?

Making it sound like they didn't fix it. They were just like, oh, I forgot. Okay, step on it. No refills, no how is your food, nothing. I still gave her a tip and went on my merry way. The highlight was the gift shop cashiers, so nice and actually spoke to you. Hosts who seat you though were spitting the fuck bomb

the whole time we shopped the gift shop. You'll fuck Bob the whole fuck Bob wait. That's like a hundred and eight Tables that's way too many. That's like 95 tables too many was also sounded like it wasn't super busy I mean, maybe I'm it sounds like maybe I'm only assuming that sounds like it was really busy and the server was overwhelmed Yeah, but if it was really slow, that would be really sad. I did read a few reviews about how it's like, they got our order wrong and we were the only one in the restaurant.

Oh no, failure. Bottom line, if we're paying the high prices for the food, at least treat us like we matter, ask us for refills, make sure our food is hot and fresh, and don't get upset when we tell you the order's wrong or not fresh. Make it right. Then I'll want to return. That's all." Three stars. I am J. Did he say the high price of food somewhere in there? Yeah, if we're paying the high prices for the food. This is one of the cheapest bills.

First of all, it's a gift certificate. Oh, yeah. Second of all, this is one of the cheapest. Of the places I've been, this is on the cheaper end. It's cheap. Cheap. Okay. Five star review. Shall we just give Cracker Barrel

a little reprieve into a five star? Sure. Let's see what someone thinks about this five star, okay? This is probably me in my 20s, okay? Five stars from Norma V of West Hills, California. And this is right in the middle of the pandemic, September 6th, 2020. This is only, what? They opened in February of 2020.

Yeah, so seven months in. Yeah, seven months into, maybe they cared more earlier. Yeah, I also wanna state, this is written like a poem, like the spacing on this. This is just something I would do, I feel. This felt like someone went in their notes app and just kind of stream of consciousness made a different line for each individual thought.

Exactly. Okay, here we go. Norma, first time here! Exclamation point. No waiting. It's the pandemic. Seated immediately. It's the pandemic. Sorry, that's my addition. Yeah, yeah. Our server, it's the pandemic. Seated immediately, it's the pandemic. Sorry, that's my addition. Our server Debbie, the best. Greeted with a wonderful attitude.

She was smiling through her mask, made some recommendations. My husband and I chose the sampler. Awesome, all caps, three exclamation points. Biscuits, wonderful. Bacon, crispy, but not burnt, a must for my husband. Grits, apples, gravy, out of this world.

No punctuation here, except just a period after grits. Took me back to my days in Georgia. Debbie kept alert on what we needed. She scanned the table once the food was served and noticed we were missing our hash brown casserole. Wow, what an eye. I love that commentary. Wow, what an eye.

Debbie, she's gotta just. She's eagle-eyed, she knows when things are missing. Old eagle-eyed Debbie just noticing her own mistake. She scanned the table. All around heartfelt good food and service. At this point, we're word vomiting. She's just word vomiting. I think she's trying to say all around heartfelt good food and service. At this point, we're word vomiting. She's just word vomiting. I think she's trying to say all around heartfelt period,

good food and service. Cause she also like capitalized food for no reason. And then she says, noticed. Well, she could be saying all around heartfelt good. That's like, my heart was feeling good all around. That's true. And then just food and service, its own thing. Just food and service.

Food and service, it happened. It exists. Noticed all the other tables were enjoying themselves also. Good to see that one table brought their grandma to Sunday breakfast. I like that observation, like, aw. They're letting the old people out. Grammy.

They take them for a walk. Well-educated, how does she know this? And well-manicured, oh sorry, man-mannered. Great nails. Well-educated, well-mannered granddaughters. Debbie with her great attitude and humor. Just bringing it back to Debbie. We fucking love Debbie.

Debbie, Deb's, Debster's. We'll definitely ask for her table next time we're here. The store was wonderful. Bought some cute salt shakers for Thanksgiving. Prices are great. Affordable. Good old. Norma really. She's really doing a love letter. But she's ahead of like, she's buying Thanksgiving salt shakers on September 6th. It's still summer. I know. She's doing great. She's thinking about Thanksgiving. She says good old fashioned candies. I was like, candles could be at the cracker barrel.

Is it thin sticks? The old thin sticks. Restrooms were clean, all around great experience. We'll be back again soon. Five stars. But just like the formatting of this really stuck out to me. It's hilarious. It's just.

It does look like an E.E. Cummings poem. It feels like Shel Silverstein was just... Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Norma. You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com slash fine dining podcast.

And we're now offering a one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read oh, so many of them. Thanks. All right. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read. Oh, so many of them. Thanks. All right. So that's the history. That's the Yelp reviews. All that's left is to talk about our experience at Cracker Barrel. Finally! Next week. No.

So. Tune in. Tune in. So part two next week, Cracker Barrel. We'll get at it. But in the meantime, Jen, thanks for coming to Cracker Barrel with me and sitting here and learning about it, I guess. Love it. Yeah. Slash heartbroken by it.

Yeah, we'll hear all about it next week. Is there anything you wanna plug, tell people where to follow you on the socials? Hi guys, well, let's see. You can follow me on Instagram, it's JenLiv, I-T-S-J-E-N-L-I-V, for comedy videos, standup, music, stuff like that. Stuff like that.

And you can follow me at FindDiningPodcast on Instagram and TikTok. You can visit the website, finddiningpodcast.com. Sign up for the little mailing list thing. I send out a thing every week when there's a new episode. Send me an email, finddining dining podcast at gmail.com. Tell me your thoughts. Tell me how wrong I am about things.

Tell me how right I am about things. I don't care. Just talk to me. I want friends. So we'll be back next week. In the meantime, we'll just be here waiting on our table. Thanks Jen for coming on. Have a fine day! We're stuck in line Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're so hungry, tummy's grumbling

Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We gotta continue our search for mediocrity Yeah Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We'll be waiting and dissipating Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We'll be waiting and dissipating it Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're shrinking in between, we're digging in Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table

We've got an appetite for just sit tight Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table Sir, you'll continue when we see you next week He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-