Fine Dining - Hooter Bowl 2: "Hootdunnit?" Hoots Wings (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. VyVy Nguyen (The Sympathizer)
Episode Date: February 7, 2024The second annual Hooter Bowl! Friend of the show VyVy Nguyen is back to celebrate Hooter Bowl 2 by joining Michael at fast casual Hooters spin-off restaurant, Hoots Wings (basically Hooters witho...ut the Hooters Girls) "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this very special film noir parody episode! Michael dares the NFL to bring on their legal team A gift for VyVy mysteriously disappears, shutting down the entire Hooter Bowl and instead launching a Hootdunnit! Dick d'Ocre tries to help Melody narrow down who could've stolen her gift This Hoots Wings location was located inside of a different restaurant Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius XIV is all about high fashion The most-asked Google questions about Hooters from the predictions in the search bar VyVy will not actually give you money for recreating her noises JUB & Petunia are questioned and confess to an totally-not-related crime A guy bases his star rating on what other people think of Hoots in this week's Yelp from Strangers The full review comes next week!  Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (January's episode was a countdown of all the restaurants on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity that are outside the 4.00-6.00 Zone of Mediocrity, starting with the least mediocre and working towards center), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas  Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!  Send in your Hoots Wings stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.  Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow VyVy on Instagram @cest_la_vyvy  Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!  Next week on "Fine" Dining: Hoots Wings by Hooters (Part Two: Review)! VyVy finally gets to open her gift, and sticks around to review Hoots Wings with Michael! Ever work at Hoots Wings? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.  Totally Not Sponsored by: Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius XIV
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everyone, I've got some very exciting news before I start this podcast.
Starting today and every week from now on, I'll be posting fully produced video versions of these
episodes on YouTube. So if you're not subscribed to the Fine Dining Podcast YouTube channel,
go over there, do it now, and why not start with this episode, the second annual Hootr Bowl.
All right, thanks for listening. Hope you enjoy.
Should I look at the wide or my single? I don't know the wide. Yeah, you should
Hello and welcome back to the fine dining podcast the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America
I'm your host Michael Ornelis and this week. It is the second annual
Hootable.
Oh, I should probably say who you are. Yeah, who am I?
So my guest host this week, a repeat return guest, Vivi Nguyen.
Hello.
Do you pronounce the N in your last name slightly?
Yes.
I thought it was pronounced like a W and then I called you at one point and your voicemail
said the N and I was mortified.
Well, okay, so my last name is the most common Vietnamese last name out there.
It's the Smith of Vietnamese last names.
And to say it in an American accent, there's no like proper pronunciation for it.
We're incapable of pronouncing your mind.
I mean, you can try.
Do you want to try?
Yeah, hit me.
Okay, it's m'win.
Nope, not.
That's what's happening.
There you go.
So like, to change that into American pronunciation is tough.
So I say n'win, but some people say win.
Some people say when.
As long as you're not saying like n'gyen.
Yeah, you're good.
N'guyen.
Yeah, I don't like that.
I mean, that's, yeah. Anyway. Don't do that. I, you're good. Ngoo-yin. Yeah, I don't like that. That's, I mean, that's, yeah.
Anyway. Don't do that.
I won't. Cool.
I'm here with Vivi Wynne.
We went to Hoot's Wings.
So it is the Hoot-er Bowl, the big game as,
you know what, screw it.
You can get sued for saying the Super Bowl, but like-
Wait, really?
I'm not sk-
Well, if you're like selling stuff,
but I'm not, like, I'm not a commercial entity. I'm just an entertainment product. I don't know.
I don't have a lawyer. Come after me, NFL. I want it. I want the smoke. Come on, bring it.
But yeah, so last year, the first Hooter Bowl did Hooters proper and discovered that there is another
Hooters restaurant, a fast casual version called Hoots Wings. We went there. We
did. And we're gonna talk all about it. This is a part one episode, meaning we're
gonna go into the eat deets. We're gonna go into the yelelp from strangers. But we've got snacks.
We do. Lots of snacks. Do you like how I plated?
Yeah, this is how you eat Oreos. Yeah. Yeah. And these are just for props. You are not
allowed to eat them. This is the show where I'm looking for the most mediocre restaurant
in America, the perfect 5.00 out of 10, the litmus test against which you can
measure all other restaurants to determine if they're objectively good or objectively bad.
So our table is not ready yet.
But in the meantime, let's let's learn about the place in just a minute.
Okay.
Oh, before we go into the theme song.
Okay.
I got you a gift because we've got snacks, but you don't have the gear.
Oh.
You don't have, like people wear their favorite jerseys when it's, you know, I don't have
a jersey for you.
But I did get you a gift.
Okay.
I got you something to wear.
It's less about football and more about snacks because this is a food podcast. Love it.
But it is about something very, I don't want to say near and dear to us, but specific to us.
It's something we have in common. Okay. So, um,
comments. Okay. Um, I thought I had a gift bag.
There was a gift bag there earlier.
Uh, do we have... can someone bring me the gift bag?
Oh.
Is it behind there? I don't... I Is it behind there?
I don't.
I think it's gone.
It can't be gone.
Well, it's not next to you anymore, which is where it was, because I remember when I
got here, I was like, oh, there's a present, and I got excited.
Hold on.
Does anyone have it?
I'm getting annoyed.
Like I don't see it.
What?
What?
What does it look like?
It's a T-shirt.
Oh, I didn't ask you what the gift was.
It's the size of a T-shirt.
It's in a gift bag.
Oh, yeah.
There is a common thing that you and I have a shared
disdain for.
And it is a common part of all Super Bowl snack platters. that you and I have a shared disdain for,
and it is a common part of all Super Bowl snack platters.
And uh...
Whoa.
I wanted you to gear up for the Hooter Bowl
amidst our snack platters, and now we can't.
So the Hooter Bowl's off.
I'm canceling the Hooter Bowl.
What?
Instead, we've got a hoot done it.
Cue the music!
Your table is ready.
Follow me.
Have you tried our chicken breast?
Serving pancakes and rips.
I recommend the spaghetti.
We're here to satisfy, not to impress.
Your table is ready
Complimentary butter and bread, these walls have growth signs
Nick, Knack, Cowboy Hat, Good luck Hat,
Altograph Guitar, some crap from your city
Behold the trash key of mediocrity
Fine dining
It's just fine dining, fine dining
Two ledgers on the sign are shining
Neon flickering irregular timing
Identify the perfect vibe
Howl at ten
Fine dining, fine dining The rain tapped against my window like a persistent creditor, demanding attention I didn't have to spare.
It was one of those dreary nights that had the city wrapped in its melancholy embrace.
My half Texas, half California, but also part Chicago neon sign flickered like a lit cigarette,
casting a sickly glow across my cramped studio.
Then, she walked in a
Dane
Not just any day, but okay if you're gonna have a cool internal monologue and outfit change. Can you include the guest?
Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to like exclude you sure. Thank you
The raindrops outside mirrored the chaos in my mind, a tempest of worry and guilt.
I never imagined I'd be standing in a private eyes podcast space, seeking help for something
so trivial, yet so significant.
The couch creaked as I sat myself in front of him in his studio, a room cloaked in shadows
and the faint smell of old to-go boxes. His eyes met mine, weathered yet sharp, assessing me in a way that made me feel exposed.
I tried to hold my composure to not let the desperation bleed through, but this man, this
detective with a world-worn gaze, seemed to see right through the facade I'd carefully
crafted.
She didn't have to speak.
The way she held herself, the way her eyes met mine, told a story.
A story of trouble, tangled in a web of secrets in danger.
Yet there was a vulnerability lurking beneath the surface.
A vulnerability that screamed for help without saying a word.
Help me, Detective.
Me?
Deoker.
Dick Deoker.
Pleased to make your acquaintance, Dick.
I'm Melody.
Melody?
Like music to my ears to what do I owe the pleasure?
I'm afraid something very special was taken from me, and I feel awful, truly awful.
It was a gift given to yours truly, and it simply vanished.
Vanished you say?
Her lips were asking for help, but her eyes told a different story.
What was she keeping from me?
Best to play along for now.
I need more time with this jigsaw puzzle.
Sure, I'll help you.
Cash or card?
Well, hang on there, sweetheart.
We're getting ahead of ourselves.
We need to start at square one.
We need to get some first impressions.
First impressions.
Okay, so I had one of the more noteworthy
first impressions at this restaurant specifically
than any other one that I've had.
You got a text from me.
I did.
I was on the way to the restaurant and I got a text.
I was all hands free.
It was trying to defend your
I just wanted to make sure that I did not touch my phone.
The text was there's a very interesting twist when you get here.
Yeah.
Laughing emoji.
Twist when you get here. Yeah laughing emoji
Yeah, it was heavily tinted and a very
narrow amount of real estate for the building that had the hoots wings by Hooters sign above it, but there was like a
lectern out front and an umbrella with the hootsings logo, which makes me wonder what it's like
during the daytime because we went at night. Yes and
Door locked. I'm like sneaking a peek between the the crack to see if there's any activity inside this building and
I'm almost like weirdly expecting like a ratatouille situation like what what other reason do they have to like lock the door other than rats are helping them cook?
As far as I know, not the case,
not saying it's not happening at the Sootswings.
That's true.
Cannot confirm, but it, you can't go in there.
It's not a restaurant.
Well, I was concerned when you sent this text that the restaurant had full on closed and we just weren't aware of it.
Right, right.
So I was on my way there, so I was like, oh shoot, we drove all this way to find a closed restaurant.
Yeah, because it was not that you guys need to know the logistics of LA traffic, but it was on the other side of where I live to you.
Yes. So you were driving further to go to Hoots Wings than you would just to go to where I am.
Yeah. And it was going to be like, oh man, we're going to have to figure out a different place to go to.
Yeah. And there are brick and mortar Hoots Wings locations that I was unaware of.
And I think they're pretty far away.
Yeah. They're scattered across Southern California. This one is just a counter inside of a blaze pizza
Which just tickled me
Now i'm gonna put blinders on and we're not gonna really we're not gonna talk about the blaze of it
And yet it was such a presence. It was such a presence, but like this review isn't of blaze
No, this review is of Hoot's wings.
Yet, the atmosphere was Blaze other than a counter.
Yes, a little counter.
Yeah.
So my first impressions are just like, what the hell?
Yeah.
What have we gotten ourselves into?
I was worried.
I was like, we're not going to be able to do the place.
Luckily there was a counter because there was a door to the blaze that had signage
indicating, yeah, we sell Hooters stuff here. And like, uh, I've never been so happy to hear
that sentence before. We sell Hooters here.
Yeah. But it is like, it's a fast casual restaurant still. restaurant still. So it's a little bit of a departure from what I normally do.
But I am I am starting to get a little bit more comfortable with fast casual.
If for no other reason, then it gives me more ground to cover in this search,
this journey for mediocrity, that I'm on.
And I also want to mention I'm waiting for you outside. Yes, and
the reason that I
Discovered the correct door to this place other than that sign that gave a hint an exasperated hoots employee
Walked out
Went and just sat in her car and went nowhere. Oh
No, I think it was like a 10 minute break. She just like got on her phone not like a call went and just sat in her car and went nowhere. Oh no.
I think it was like a 10 minute break.
She just like got on her phone, not like a call,
but just like was just sitting in her car on her phone
and I was like, oof, I've been there.
I've had jobs where my car was my solid side of my break.
That was her escape.
Yeah.
Oh.
And then you arrive, we go in, we get in the line
and I'm not having it.
With Fast Casual, I'm not gonna be overwhelmed.
I'm not gonna be bullied by a Fast Casual line.
Don't allow it.
The pressure of the person behind you wanting to order?
No, no.
You know what, sir?
Go ahead.
Because I'm nowhere to be found.
We went up, we grabbed a menu.
A paper menu.
And we just took it to a table.
Yes.
We took it to a table, sat down.
We all had pens and we were like...
We were used to be rushed because there were so many different wings options.
And not even wing... like wing flavors or rubs, sauces, preparation style.
They had like five different ones.
It's not like a statistics test.
It felt like just a state mandated test.
Because we're sitting there with like a pencil
and it's like spot the difference between the two wings.
You're getting this and I'm getting this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It just, I felt so much better and this might be my approach.
I'm just going to be the old man at all fast, casual places I go.
I don't care about my place in line.
I've got all night like whatever. Who cares?
Well, I feel like the old man would have stayed in line
and just pondered life while someone waited behind you going like,
are you ready?
I feel like sorry, I'm thinking about something from 40 years ago.
The war.
Just put her flashbacks. Yeah.
I mean, your Hooters experience was kind of sad from last year.
The people around you.
Yes.
Up to that point though, the best service that I'd had.
That's true.
Amy?
Wow.
Well, I went and revisited the episode. Okay. Did's true. Amy? Wow. Well, I had to, I went and revisited the episode.
Okay. I did my research. Amy sounded lovely.
Amy, Amy, Amy was great. The food, some, like, I insisted on reordering one of the things
in this one because of it. Yes.
And, yeah. Anyways, long story short, we filled out our menu, circled stuff, went up there, placed our order, no pressure.
I loved it.
Yeah, we knew what we wanted, we took our time.
This is the way.
Yes.
To quote directional signs.
Oh.
And Star Wars.
That's from my mind, but sure.
I don't want to go too much into the atmosphere
because that's for next week
Oh, do you want to learn about the history of Hoots wings? Yes, please. Oh you do. Yeah, I
Have had guests go
Until very recently so I'm down. I'm I'm glad you're down. I want you to want to learn stuff.
Oh, so if I had said no, would you have?
We're going to plow through anyways.
Oh, OK.
You're going to hear it.
It's better to have an eager positive mindset.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great.
Well, we're going to go into this week's Eat Dates.
Eat Dates.
Eat Dates.
Eat Dates.
Eateryets. Eat Deets. Eatery details. Eat Deets.
Founded in 2017 in Cicero, Illinois, Hoots Wings is a fast casual Hooters offshoot.
So it essentially serves a reduced menu of Hooters food but without table service, which means no Hooters offshoot. So it essentially serves a reduced menu of Hooters food, but without
table service, which means no Hooters girls.
Yes. No Hooters short shorts or tight shirts.
You know all about articles and clothing.
Yes, I know how to list clothes.
How did you feel about that? I mean, you're not going to a Hooters. I'm not the demographic
generally for a Hooters restaurant, I feel like. So I was fine with no one being scantily clad.
So here's the thing, I'm totally fine with it, but if I had to choose. Okay. All right. Well, if I had to choose, I'd go for the fully clothed person.
You want them even more clothed than they were.
Yeah, I want layers.
Give me a sweater.
Give me a sweater.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give me a hat.
I want the like padded ski jacket that looks like little bubbles.
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
I don't want to see any skin.
Yeah.
No skin whatsoever.
And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor.
Greetings. Harrison Augustine flying moneywater emoji really is the 14th here.
Back to class up the fine dining podcast once again.
Now let's talk about one thing that deeply offends me.
The apparel
of the working class. Hoot wings, a t-shirt, and pants made of khaki? Offensive. If I haven't
seen it at the Met Gala, I don't want it touching my skin.
Now let me talk directly to you, who I assume is also in the working class, about fashion.
There's two things you need to consider when thinking about whether or not you want to buy an item of clothing. Thread count and sticker price.
If you're paying at a discount, it isn't worth having. The finest items of clothing
never go unsafe. And if there's anything else you desire to do to not come across like
a peasant, I'm your man to help you. Believe me, I want everyone to be able to have what
I have. I want you to be able to have what I have.
I want you to be able to wear out in public the only coat that you can find that is half
fur, half feather, all from the same animal, and I doubt you've ever heard of it.
Anyways, acquire what I've acquired and you too will be able to hire your poorer friend
Elon to hold up your mic stand.
Very well, Elon, but you're regretting Dogecoin now.
Anyways, I've got to get going.
My cold-powered private jet that I use to combat climate activists is ready to go, and
I've got a charcuterie pool to dive into a la Scrooge McDuck.
Toodle-oo!
Several of the locations feature a prominent sign out front that reads a Hooters joint
Yeah, are they just trying to be cooler to compensate for taking away
So we're not sexy. We're just maybe like trying to apply like marijuana
That's what I think of when I think of joints maybe like trying to apply like marijuana? I don't know, like trying to go that way. I'm not sure.
That's what I think of when I think of joints.
Not to say anything about my own life style.
That was such a unique sound that you just made.
I can't even recreate it now.
I don't think anyone could.
Listeners, if you think you can recreate that noise
that she just made, Vee will give you $300.
Okay, good luck.
She agreed.
You have to recreate it perfectly.
And not just like repeat the clip.
I'll know.
I'll look at the sound wave.
Yeah, it's like verbatim.
D.O.D.
Hoots employs both men and women
and employs wear more traditional server clothing rather than the classic tank top and
Short shorts. Mm-hmm. So I guess it's like
Targeted of people who like the food at Hooters, but maybe feel like uncomfortable
Yeah with the environment that a normal Hooters provides. They don't eat the show
I mean because those Hooters employees are entertainers right there. That's what they're hired as? That's the loophole they use to discriminate against their bodies.
Yeah. So these people are not entertainers.
It's casting. What are you saying?
I mean, they clearly just wanted us to take our order.
Yes, yes, yes.
Eat Deets. Hoots also offers catering, which is a big driver of their business.
Oh.
I'm curious if actual Hooters doesn't offer catering and only through Hoots can you get
Hooters food catered to you.
It doesn't make sense though, because yeah, I think you would go to Hooters for the experience
of it all.
Yeah.
You wouldn't, I mean, yeah, because if they cater to you, would they have to then bring all that,
like the outfits and stuff to you?
Boobs Express, yeah.
So I guess Hoot's Wings is just like,
yeah, here are your wings.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's your sandwiches.
That's right, yeah.
So Hoot's Wings, you know you're just getting the food.
Hooters, it's like, there's that gray area of,
well, are they providing the the show? Yeah, I like how we're referring to just a hot person
Bring the hot people I don't know I kind of like bring the hot
They also have some drive-thru locations.
Oh.
Which?
We did not have.
There, no.
I mean, we didn't even have a location location.
We had a counter, yeah.
Yeah.
They're just all over the place.
They cater, they've got drive-thru, they're just a counter inside of a blaze.
They do have some full locations.
So they're really just...
Hitting.
Throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall, seeing what sticks.
I would probably see myself in a mood to maybe drive through and get some of their wings at some point.
Like, yeah, is there any place else you can go and drive through to get proper wings?
I don't think so.
Is Hooters proper wings?
Well, KFC, I think I put in a different category.
Yeah, and I wouldn't even say KFC I think I put in a different category. I yeah, and I I wouldn't even say KFC is food
All right, let's see where's yeah, where are they on the oh dear
2.91 on the Chatski of mediocrity not the third worst not a good showing from KFC damn you guys really hated KFC
It felt like KFC hated us
Somewhat surprisingly maybe Hoots has been fairly successful
Which for that the same can't be said for Hooters overall the chains revenue by around 2% in 2017
for Hooters overall. The chain's revenue dipped by around 2% in 2017. Over the past few years, they've been forced to close around 10% of their restaurants nationwide.
Oh my gosh. Hooters. Hooters is in trouble.
Hot people falling out of style. Dad bod season, baby.
Yeah, we like personalities here.
Not to say that hot people can have personalities. I'm sure they can. Oh, no.
Here's your shovel. Eat Deets. Even so, Hoots has been expanding. In 2019, Hooters was bought
by two private equity firms. Nord Bay Capital and Tri-Artisan Capital Advisors.
Those sound like private equity firms. Those sound like places where no one who works there sleeps well at night.
Since then, the firms have been trying to save the company with a rebrand. Soon after the buyout,
the firms announced two additional Hoots locations near Chicago and a third in Atlanta.
But that was just the beginning.
Oh my.
Nowadays, the Hoots franchise website is enthusiastically recruiting new entrepreneurs.
From the site, the average American eats over 17,000 wings during the course of their lifetime.
Oh wow.
That's a lot of chicken.
Which is why we know that the demand for Hoots wings is there.
Okay.
Also, from the website, the estimated initial investment in a Hoots
Wings franchise ranges from $448.5,000 to $1.2 and a half million dollars for an
individual franchise. So clearly not the counter. The counter is not putting in a million dollars.
This counter, if they spent a million, they got robbed. Yeah. Yeah.
But they do have discounts available if you do multiple franchises.
Okay.
Making Hoots Wings one of the most affordable concepts in the booming QSR industry.
Wow.
I don't know what QSR means.
Quick service restaurant.
You know what QSR means.
I mean, I guessed.
There's no way it's not that.
You know what? We're going to look up QSR. Please hold
It's actually like quirky single Russian
Oh, it's not quick service. Oh, okay. You have you have me second. It is quick service restaurant
Oh, okay. You have you have me second guess it is quick service restaurant
Veeves I'm amazing. What can I say the champ?
I like quirky single Russian
They also charge a thirty thousand dollar franchise fee overall the right though that is pretty affordable compared to other franchises We've covered on the show. So, um, yeah, you can you can get into a hoot's wings for not cheaper than tuition at a private
university. You get it. Forget school guys. No. Open a hoot. Yeah. Eat beats. So far, the chain has
signed 105 franchise agreements just last year.
Oh, wow!
Currently only 10 are in development.
Most of the others come in the form of multi-unit, multi-year deals.
Texas and Southern California seem to be the most popular prospective locations,
so residents can look forward to that, I guess.
Yeah!
Are we looking forward to the expansion of Hootswings?
Why not?
You know how when you type into Google and it like-
Oh, auto fills?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hootswings by Hooters.
Here are all of the predicted-
Ooh, okay.
What is the counterpart of Hooters?
What is the opposite of Hooters restaurant?
Like well just asking what is the opposite I'd imagine it's that park a restaurant that way
Or like you know those restaurants or those bars that are in like egg lose. I don't oh yeah those exist
I would I would review one yeah, I don't think it'd be mediocre right or it better not be but yeah
They give you like cold weather stuff.
You have to be in there.
Why is that enjoyable?
It's physically uncomfortable.
The experience and you're in it.
You're in like an other hot people building.
Maybe they're hot in their clothing.
Yeah, you'll never know.
You'll discover later.
What is the legal name of Hooters?
It's asking, like, is Hooters hiding something?
You can just call me Hooters.
Reginald Hooters.
What is the male version of Hooters in Texas?
Oh, does that exist?
Oh, I feel like I want to get a little bit...
I don't know, but someone's wondering. And apparently several people are wondering. version of Hooters in Texas. Oh, does that exist? Oh, I feel like I want to get a hoot.
I don't know, but someone's wondering.
And apparently several people are wondering.
Yeah.
Uh, what is the Hooters girl rule?
Oh, what is the rule?
I don't know.
You know what QSR is.
Do you tell me?
Um, the rule is.
Your shorts must be at least five inches above your knee.
Your shorts must be at least five inches above your knee. Ladies and gentlemen, if you can recreate that noise,
Vivi will send you 16,000 pennies.
Oh, okay. All right.
That's still a lot of money, but...
That's what, $160?
No, no, no, don't make me do that. $160
What age is Hooters girl which one great
What Hooters stand for what Hooters stand for imagine who are an acronym that sounds like a question that the quirky single Russian is asking
Should a 13 year old go to Hooters well should they they can yeah, but should they probably
Grow up a little faster. There you go. Is it okay for kids to go to Hooters? Why do girls work at Hooters? It's literally a boob reference.
Men can have boobs.
I attest.
So there you go.
Why are we discriminating against man boobs?
I don't think I would go to a restaurant that was just moob centric.
What if it were a mix?
What are we calling it, udders?
Oh wow.
But the guys can't have udders.
Only only...
You're very small-minded.
Sorry, I'm thinking of cows.
Because males don't have udders, but yeah, okay.
Is Hooters like Twin Peaks?
Can everyone go to Hooters?
What is Miss Hooters?
I'm sorry Dick, but am I a suspect? That's quite the laundry list of questions. Most
of them about gazangas.
I'm just getting a detailed picture is all. Don't worry yourself, doll face. I'll get
to the bottom of who took your gift. And I know just who to question. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, hi there.
My name's Jub.
I'm Petunia.
And we were brought in for questioning.
We're totally innocent.
It's called a hit and run.
And honestly, we took our time.
We kind of hit and meandered.
It was like a stroll.
That's not a crime.
And we dragged him into the woods to make sure he was off the road so other people wouldn't hit him.
Exactly, Captain Sase.
We kinda did him a favor.
Oh, that's not what we were brought in for.
What is this?
Well, I still want to elaborate on what happened to clear my name in case I get brought in for questioning on that unrelated crime.
A vehicle is very heavy.
And sometimes you're operating it while playing a game called Pokemon Go.
They make this game that's like, you want to play it on your phone but you have to move around and the car makes more sense than walking.
I tell him he shouldn't do it in the car, he should just walk.
But I didn't.
He doesn't listen to me.
Why would I?
I have good advice?
Give me three pieces of advice right now that you think are good one getting hours to sleep at night Oh, don't cry while cutting an onion. It shows weakness three don't mix beer with tranquilizers unless you've got four days to spare
Which I don't I'm a busy guy so speaking of which are we free to go? Oh, we're still detained
Okay, wait, this is about a T-shirt, not a guy?
A guy who was breathing last time we saw him.
We checked.
We did the thing where you hold a finger underneath his nose
and I felt hot air.
He seemed alive.
Solve it quickly.
She has an adult swim class to get to.
I got a bits of my class, I don't know how to swim.
Today's the backstroke.
Later pigs.
Oh, we flicked them off, okay.
Oh, you gave them a thumbs up!
Whatever!
Okay, bye!
These two colorful characters, but guilty in this case,
they didn't even know why they were here.
Maybe they're just playing a part and I'm the fool.
Surely we've got the perks.
Their record alone is longer than this game's list of regrets.
It's not that simple, Melody.
Their motives were weak. They didn't seem to care.
We've got to dig deeper. There's more to this story.
We've got to find other people, witnesses, people who give a hoot,
people who've been to hoots, wings.
In this week's Yelp from Strangers.
We need a little yelp, a little yelp, a little yelp from strangers.
A one star, two star, three star, four is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we go to Yelp and read out our
favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 star Yelp reviews of the
very restaurant that we dined at.
2 star review.
Veeves, I'm gonna start us off.
Are you gonna start us off?
I'm gonna start us off.
Veevie.
Okay.
I'm gonna start us off.
Yeah.
With a 2 star review.
Oh my this is from Neil H from Beverly Hills, California
July 23rd 2023 he's written 45 Yelp reviews, so he's knows he's been around the block
Is he Yelp elite though? No, he is not. Ah, so
As much as I'd like to leave a good review since my friends told me that everything was like the original Hooters
I can't hmm. I haven't had Hooters in a long, long time, so I was looking forward to this.
First, since I haven't been in so long, I couldn't remember if they used to ask if we wanted the
chicken breaded or not. The guy who took my order asked me that question to which I asked which one is the original Hooters way
He said not breaded, which was false. Oh, yes
I'm sure I'll get people on here saying I should have known but it's been over 10 years
And wouldn't the original Hooters wings be breaded? So that's that. Oh, I ordered the 30 pack for my family to go!
I don't know, it's in all caps.
It just felt like it needed that extra.
That felt all caps.
The extra hot spa.
To go!
I waited 20 minutes for a guy to come out like I was eating it there.
So now it takes longer and once I got home the wings were cold.
I asked for it well done and it was soggy and the fries weren't crispy. Mind you,
I live 8 minutes, according to my ways, from this plaza. Terrible experience and make sure
you order breaded if you're looking for the traditional Hooters experience. I gave it
two stars since friends I know enjoyed it. Unfortunately, me and my family didn't. It's your review.
You don't have to take into account his friends' reviews.
I gave it two stars because I hear others like it.
Otherwise, I would have given it one.
I don't want to be the odd man out.
That didn't really sound like it deserved one star.
Yeah.
I may give it a try again and we'll correct this review if it's a better experience
One was this two stars July of 2023. Okay. Yeah, so he could still
Come back and have a better experience. It could slingshot into five-star territory. You never know
I feel like he was complaining that they so they brought it out as if you can eat there
He ordered it wrong. Yeah, He ordered it wrong to his liking.
He wanted breaded and didn't get it breaded.
They brought it out as a dine in order
and then packed it up to go.
But it's not that hard to pack it up.
So why is he making it seem like it's such an ordeal?
Also, if something's cold when you get home.
Yeah, heat it up.
Yeah, there are multiple heating mechanisms.
Eight minutes is a long time for food to cool down.
Yeah. So I don't know.
Anyways.
I don't know if I agree. Okay.
All right.
I love that you're like discrediting how he felt about his experience.
Yeah, no, your opinion is valid. I apologize.
He's not listening.
Well.
I'm going to send, I'm going to reach out to him on Yelp and send this to us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is what we thought on our podcast.
Yeah.
Four Star Review.
All right, oh, we do have an elite here, Michael M.
Michael M.
From Fullerton, California.
He gave it four stars and included eight photos,
which is great.
Eight photos.
Yeah, we love having supplementary material, right?
To like support your argument.
First time trying this location as it
just opened and I grew up going to Hooters for the wings. Honestly, I was a little disappointed
by the food. We ordered a 30-party pack roasted bone-in wings and the Chipotle honey flavor and
the three-mile island flavor were great, but the buffalo hot was bland. That was a long sentence.
I wish they added more sauce onto them. The curly fries were not even curly, and the fried pickles needed to be fried a little longer. Wings were still good as they
contained a good amount of meat, but I don't think I would pay $45 for this again.
Service was a little slow, even though they weren't busy, but it was hard to hear the
cashier as they share a space with the Blaze Pizza.
Blaze Pizza isn't a loud place.
It's not actually.
Pizza is not a loud food.
No. Blaze is not a loud food. No.
Place is honestly a pretty calm.
It was a very quiet place when we were there.
Yeah.
They initially brought out all my food and trays and I had to clarify that I had said
to go.
Okay.
So this is a continuing problem.
And you keep ordering the party pack.
They assume you want the party there.
Why wouldn't you have the party at Place Pizza?
Who's taking a party to go?
I didn't know it.
The manager tried to say I said dine in, but there was no table available.
After seeing this, they packed my food and I was on my way.
Honestly, it is so loud inside with the TVs going off,
people ordering pizzas on one end and people ordering wings on the other.
Hopefully they can get it together, but it gives wingstop or buffalo express vibes.
It's the same concept of ordering wings or sandwiches and taking them to go. It isn't anything like Hooters used to be since they have a very limited menu.
He gave us four stars. It sounded like he was pretty negative, though.
I mean, maybe those two wing flavors he liked really just sent him into another place.
Yeah, yeah. So that's what really got the score.
Yeah. And a lot of people just, the words they write and the number they give just do not have a connection.
Yeah, because I was expecting glowing comments and then it just was really negative.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I appreciate the photos. The wings do look good.
We had them.
We did.
You've been.
We were? We were there?
Yeah.
What?
You'll find out next week!
Oh!
You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment at our Patreon.
The link for that is in the description of this episode or you can go to patreon.com.
slash find outing podcast and we're now offering a one week free trial.
So what do you have to lose?
Go check it out.
People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks
Now there is one other thing from Yelp that I found but it doesn't qualify as a review
Okay, but you can ask questions like Cora or like sure
They take credit card or whatever are there any Hooters girls working here? Oh, no
Asked by Johnson L. Oh of course Johnson's asking.
Johnson.
Come on.
Two answers.
Oh, he caught responses.
One, by General Manager.
Mm-hmm.
With the Hootswings logo, so the restaurant responded.
Oh they're legit.
No, space exclamation point we are fast casual capital D dining for when you want a quick capital W wing fix.
No, we are fast casual dining for when you want a quick wing fix loaded with air.
You can still have tits, you know? You can still offer the show. Yes, exactly. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think that
necessary answers why the reasoning, but yes, there are no
cooter curls there. Response number two. Oh, let's go.
From Truman W. Now Truman is a man of the people.
It's a true man.
I don't even need to read it. You made a better connection.
77 Friends.
Okay, you're all about the Friends.
In this one I am.
Alright.
645 Yelp reviews.
Dang.
Over 1200 photos uploaded.
Someone is prolific.
Then why are you using Hooters name to mislead the public?
Oh, true man.
True man.
Coming in hot with that true man-
Oh, the sass.
Ness.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Okay, we've covered the history of Hoot's wings by Hooters, a Hooters joint.
Yes.
We've heard what other people have to say about this place in Yelp from Strangers.
Your gift bag is still nowhere to be found.
Yes.
You're making me feel bad.
I mean...
It's like we're...
But like, we're coming to a close.
We're at the end of part one.
Yeah.
Where's my...
Actually, there's another suspect.
He's been watching over us this whole time,
like a vulture circling his prey.
Juicy Jr., you've been at the scene of the crime
the entire time and haven't said a word.
Well, just because I'm normally served with pork
doesn't mean I talk to pigs.
If you don't return the skirt's property to her,
I'll turn you upside down and make a pound cake out of you.
Do you hear me?
Dick!
I'm not messing around.
I'll hollow out your carcass and put you under the sea
for a sentient snail and sponge to live inside of.
Dick!
What?
He's not our guy.
How do you figure?
I know who did it.
How do you figure it? I know who did it.
It's the Hooter Bowl, Ace.
The answer was never going to be in the main show.
You've got me as crossed up as a Rosary on Sunday.
The commercials, babe.
This one day of the year, it's all about the commercials.
Remember my lost gift?
A shirt, sure.
But what was so special about it?
Not just any shirt.
A T-shirt.
The uniform of the working class.
My god.
Harrison.
Now let's talk about one thing that deeply offends me.
The apparel of the working class.
A T-shirt?
If I haven't seen it at the Met Gala, I don't want it touching my skin.
I didn't see it before, but I can have my boys there faster than a chinchilla on a treadmill.
Pack it up. You're all free to go.
I'm just gonna keep hanging on the chachki because I live here.
I'm proud of you, kid. You didn't even really need me.
Do I still have to pay you?
Desperately, yes. I'm in so much debt. I bet on chicken fights.
So there we were. I'd get my gift, but more importantly, I learned that I had the gift all along.
In this city of smoke and mirrors,
where truth and lies entwine like lovers in the night,
I realized I didn't need Detective Diocca
to untangle my knots.
He was just another fleeting shadow in my story,
a character at his conclusion.
Baby, hey, hey.
You're monologuing. Was I? Yeah, yeah, baby. Hey. Hey. You're like you're monologuing.
Was I? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like you've got major main character syndrome right now.
Excuse you.
What? Main character syndrome?
This concludes part one of the Hoots Wings episode of the Fine Dining Podcast.
Join us next time.
I am on Instagram at Salah Veevy. You can follow Fine Dining Podcast. Join us next time. I am on Instagram at
Salavivi. You can follow Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Feel free to email
us with any questions, concerns, finediningpodcast.gmail.com. We're on Patreon. Donate. We're on YouTube
now. We're doing video, so like, subscribe, comment. Look at us. You can see our faces. We're gonna continue this next week
where we're gonna actually review the restaurant
at this point and maybe I get my shirt wherever it may be.
Yeah, probably.
Nah, that's very optimistic.
Anyway, until then we're gonna be waiting for our table.
Have a fine day.
Have a fine day.
Have a fine day.
Have a fine day. Have a fine day. Have a fine day. Have a fine day. Have a fine day! Waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo We're so hungry Tommy's grumbling
Waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo
We gotta continue our search for mediocrity
Yeah
Waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo
We'll be waiting and dissipating it
Waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo, we'll be waiting and dissipating Waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo
Swimping in, as we go digging in
Goodwill, waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo
Got an appetite for just a type of a
Waiting on a demo, waiting on a demo
Search will continue when we see you next week
We'll continue when we see you next week Hee hee hee
But I'm not ever just waiting
Waiting on our table