Fine Dining - IHOP History feat. Jasper Lewis (Internet Menace) [Part One]

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity is BACK! Michael is joined by friend and "woman-of-God" Jasper Lewis to talk all things IHOP, the International House of Pancakes and chain restaurant juggernaut Poor sign...age/menu descriptions leave Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity a mystery What's Going On Over There with the barren Wikipedia page for IHOP? Learn the history of the franchise, from its founder's interest in coffee to its acquisition of Applebee's (which it paid for in cash) That whole "IHOB" thing A Yelper recounts the restaurant's denial that there could be hair in his food because "no one who works here is hairy" The full review comes next week! "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode!   Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (March saw me go to Dallas to eat Steak 'n Shake with my Dad), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your IHOP stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Jasper on TikTok and Instagram @heyjasperlewis   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: IHOP Review [Part Two]! Jasper Lewis is back to talk about our experience in the restaurant, and we're joined by Katie Molinaro to taste test a special Lays flavor. Ever work at IHOP? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello, friends. Welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I am here with actress, writer, comedian, Jasper Lewis. Hi. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:00:18 I'm great, how are you? I'm full of, honestly, I'm not that full. I was gonna say I'm full of pancakes, but... Yeah, we didn't finish it. We ate like birds. Yeah, I did, I did. And well, I don't know. Also, the portions were...
Starting point is 00:00:34 They were good, but definitely not... Filling. Filling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For those of you watching for the first time, this show is the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America, the perfect 5.00 dining experience. And we're doing this because, look,
Starting point is 00:00:50 people say things are good or bad, but you need to know where that switchover point right in the middle is. It needs to be defined to know what's good and bad. Exactly. And so I'm here to find it. And I'm looking to where my intuition tells me it's going to be chain restaurants.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Exactly. Now, I'm not shitting on these places. I genuinely would not be going to all these places if I didn't have a love for them. Of course. But let's call a spade a spade. Yeah. They're not amazing restaurants.
Starting point is 00:01:18 I mean, you're like me. I grew up in the South. You said that you grew up, you were born in the Midwest, but you grew up in Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like growing up these middle of the You'd said that you grew up, you were born in the Midwest, but you grew up in Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like growing up these middle of the road sort of restaurants, chain restaurants, were our fancy restaurants.
Starting point is 00:01:32 They were the occasions. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you're having a birthday. You're not going to a Chili's on a Tuesday night. You're going on a Friday night, the work week's done, and you need to like, you need to take in, you know, the family time or the friends or whatever. You know, you need an occasion.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Oh, it's date night. We're going to Outback. They've got a two-for-one. I've got a coupon. Yeah. So, we're on YouTube now. You can watch this show. You can see us in all of our glory. Wait, does that mean nude in all of our glory? Does that express... Maybe in some communities it does,
Starting point is 00:02:06 but I don't think they would infer that. I definitely did not infer that. Okay. I'm a woman of God, so when I hear in all of our glory, I think of golden lights, I think of praise him. of Golden Lights, I think of Praise Him. Um. Um. Is this a bit, are you, are you a very religious person?
Starting point is 00:02:31 No. Great. I was raised Episcopalian, um, and we stopped going shortly after my confirmation. So. Great. Yeah. Well, in the meantime, we're gonna jump into the episode. Our table isn't ready yet, but we're gonna play a song that implies it is. Great. Yeah. Well, in the meantime, we're going to jump into the episode.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Our table isn't ready yet, but we're going to play a song that implies it is. Hey. Your table is ready. Follow me. Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and ribs. I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy, not to impress.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Your table is ready. Complementary butter and bread. These walls have wrote signs. Knick-knack, cowboy hat. Good luck, cat. Altograph, guitar. Not too impressed! Your table is ready Complementary butter and bread These walls have growth signs Knit-knack cowboy hat
Starting point is 00:03:08 Good luck cat Altograph guitar Some crap from your city Behold the tchotchke of mediocrity Fine dining! Just fine dining! Fine dining! Two letters on the sign are shining
Starting point is 00:03:22 Neon flickering, irregular timing Identify the perfect vibe She's proud of 10 Fine dining Fine dining First impressions We can all recognize an international house of pancakes by the shape of the building. A mile away.
Starting point is 00:03:49 It's like a triangular thing. This was a triangular building, wasn't it? This was a triangular building and that is typical of not every location, but a vast number of them. Most of them will have that like ye olde kind of cottage-y look to them. You could also spot the color scheme a mile away, a very patriotic color scheme. Listen, we love a theme, you know, in the House of the Lord. This was not, really digging your heels in on this.
Starting point is 00:04:20 This was not a coincidence. You let me know in advanced via text, I'm wearing the IHOP colors. I said I will be wearing my patriotic best and we'll be eating some good old American pancakes. Okay, that eagle costs money, okay? All right. Well, I was here a little bit before you. I went in, they said there's no wait, which I always get a panic when I'm there before the other person and they say there's no wait
Starting point is 00:04:49 because I'm like, do I grab the table while there's no wait or do I risk? I mean, you said you were like six or seven minutes. Yeah, I wasn't that far away. But I'm always like, is a line of people out the door gonna just arrive in four minutes? Is a line of people going to arrive at the Glendale IHOP at 1030 on a Saturday?
Starting point is 00:05:12 I will say, I expected a wait. Here's the thing, if we were like in West Covina, maybe I would expect a wait. But I feel like in Los Angeles where you have all of the, it's like brunch city. I feel like there are Angeles where you have all the, it's like brunch city. Yeah. I feel like there are other places you could go to and IHOP is where you would go.
Starting point is 00:05:33 On a dare? On a dare. Or if you were just a very hungover college student and it was right by your dorm. What are you, a Glendale community college? I think that's the only thing close to there. Glendale has a community college? I think so.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Well, good for Glendale. I see signs around there. There was aggressive, like, early Thornton, a name I'd never heard, but it sounded like Kenny G on uppers. Yeah. It like, just really hitting that soprano sack. I missed early, I missed the show.
Starting point is 00:06:04 That stupid me for being six minutes late. I shazammed it. I was so into the music that I was just like, am I close enough to the speaker? And I'm inching closer and closer. You're gonna have the whole discography soon. Oh yeah. But none of this, the physical appearance of the building,
Starting point is 00:06:20 is the first impression that I'm intrigued by. The first impression that I wanna make note of is your true first impression. Before you even got here, you looked up the Wikipedia page. Ah, okay, so I am a Wikipedia nerd. I'm actually part of a Facebook group for weird Wikipedia articles. I love Wikipedia. I think it's a great website Wait, what's that? Is that group like the cool freaking down?
Starting point is 00:06:51 It's like the cool freaks Wikipedia Club. So it's I'm not so active on Facebook anymore But when I was I would check this thing every day and people would post this weirdest Wikipedia articles They found and they'll be like look at at all these weird facts I learned today. All the rabbit holes they've followed. Yeah, about a slew of dancing children from the 60s and like just very bizarre, very random stuff. So I always Wikipedia something before I have to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I like to be well researched and Wikipedia is the place to do that. So at Wikipedia, I hop and there's only two sections and only one of them has anything in it. And it's like- The second section is like, see also or something like that. It's like a-
Starting point is 00:07:35 Yeah, it's like the bibliography. And the first one is literally just three sentences. And I was like, what the fuck is, can I say fuck on here? No, you can't. I was like, what the fuck is up with this iPod? You did it anyway. Like what? Oh, I know I can't. I was like, what the fuck is up with this iPod? You did it anyway. Like, what?
Starting point is 00:07:46 Oh, no, I can't. You can. OK. I'm going to have to pray about that later. Sorry, God. I'm so sorry. But yeah, there was so little on this Wikipedia. And it makes me wonder a question, Jasper.
Starting point is 00:07:58 It makes me ask, what's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? Should I worry? Should I care? What is going on over there? Hey Jasper, what's going on over there? So here's what I think is going on over there. I think that somewhere in the world there's a kid and they have access to the internet
Starting point is 00:08:21 and they know how to log on to Wikipedia and they're going on to Wikipedia and they're constantly at odds with the IHOP social media team and they're constantly writing bizarre facts. They've got like a Twitter beef. Yeah, they've got a wiki beef. They're writing bizarre facts on the IHOP Wikipedia. They're saying that scandals are happening. They're saying that people are expiring, some forcibly, some by accident.
Starting point is 00:08:45 They're saying that they're- Wait, is that how you say die? Yeah, you can't say die on platforms anymore. What? Yeah, if you wanna put this on TikTok, you cannot say the word death. You can't say death, you can't say die. There's all kinds of words you can't say.
Starting point is 00:08:58 So you said expired? Expire, yep. You can say expire, you can say unalive. You can post this on like, you can also just bleep it out if you want to, but it's like people like to get creative. There's only one thing that I believe on this show. It's the word, it's the word.
Starting point is 00:09:16 The grossest topping. We're not gonna get into it. Are you lactose intolerant? I am intolerant of, but no, I love ice cream. I'm fine with butter. I eat milk and cereal. You love butter, okay'm fine with butter. I eat milk and cereal. You love butter, okay, but you hate shits. I don't love butter.
Starting point is 00:09:28 I like, like. All right, okay. I'm not like a butter queen or anything. But you're just like, I can't do shits. There's, I've covered it a couple times on the show, but basically there were like some traumatic food incidents as a kid where just things, no, nothing extreme.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Okay. Nothing that I like cry about in the shower all right cool sorry go on with your theory about this Wikipedia about the covert Wikipedia editor yeah yeah yeah no it's just somebody they like to troll the Wikipedia page and they like to write nefarious factoid factoids in quotes because they're not facts if it's fiction, facts matter. And then IHOP has to go in and they're just like, you know what, we're just going to erase all of it.
Starting point is 00:10:15 We're just going to burn it all down. Burn it all down. If we can't have the truth according to us out there, we're going to burn it all down. IHOP's going to find this kid and then soon there won't be any edits on the Wikipedia at all. Cause that kid will be unalived. Who will be with the Lord. So, he'll be with my friend, the Lord.
Starting point is 00:10:34 You're strapped in on this one. All right, well I think we figured it out. That is in fact. Yay. What's going on over there? What's going on over there? What is going on over there? I mean, that's all there is to what we saw at first, the first impressions of the International House of Pancakes.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Before we can go any further, I don't want to say a word more about our experience before we get caught up to date on all those things that were deleted from the Wikipedia page. Oh my gosh. So we're going to learn about the history of IHOP. Are you ready? Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:13 We're going to go into this week's Eat Deets. Yeah. Eat Deets. Eat Deets. Eatery details. Eatery details. Eatery details. Eatery details. Eatery details. Eatery details. Eatery details. The International House of Pancakes was founded by Al and Jerry Lapin in Toluca Lake, a Los
Starting point is 00:11:36 Angeles suburb, in 1958. Oh, fun. The original one's no longer there. Yeah. Otherwise, we would have gone there. But we were at the second closest one currently to the original location. Of course, IHOP was started by a man named Al.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Let's be real. And before that, Al had served in the Army and tried to start a coffee delivery service in LA. Oh, OK. Didn't pan out, but led to his policy of keeping a full pot of coffee on every table in his restaurant. Which is probably why they give you a whole
Starting point is 00:12:07 thermal jug of coffee. Yeah. And they leave it at the table. You had what, three cups? I had three cups, it still wasn't, it was maybe a little- Do you feel closer to God now? Godly, wings, wings I have from this coffee.
Starting point is 00:12:24 I don't have the budget to edit that. Maybe I could put the eagle behind you. No, it's fine. Yeah. They only sold breakfast at first. The original location was intentionally founded next to the famous diner Bob's Big Boy. The Lapins hoped to catch customer overflow
Starting point is 00:12:38 from the other restaurant. That's so smart. A guy named Al would open up a chain restaurant named IHOP and put it next to an already successful diner. Just to try and catch the drippings from BBB. Because I imagine Bob's was super popular. It still is. What with that fun astro boy looking statue. There you go. My horrible painting rendition of it.
Starting point is 00:13:05 You painted that? Yeah, so back in season one of the show, there were like punishments enacted where you had to like do different things going to each restaurant. And I had to paint a portrait of Bob's big boy before I was allowed to go in. And I did the left half, my mom did the right half.
Starting point is 00:13:23 My Bob's big Boy looks murder happy. Yeah. But the plan to catch customer overflow from Bob's Big Boy worked really quickly. Just two years later, in 1960, IHOP had already started franchising. Nice. And in 1961, the company went public on the stock market. Oh, good for Al. Good for Al.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Yeah. Okay, the acronym IHOP didn't emerge until 1973 as part of a marketing campaign, which is, it's good the nickname stuck because imagine having to say... International House of Pancakes. Hey, do you want to go to the International House of Pancakes? When you're hungover, do you want to go to the International House of Pancakes?
Starting point is 00:13:59 I don't drink, so that my approximation was honestly probably as close as yours. I'm a glass of champagne at special occasions, only kind of girly. Yeah, yeah. I don't drink, so that my approximation was honestly probably as close as yours. Yes. I'm a glass of champagne at special occasions, only kind of girly. Yeah, yeah. And wine on Sundays. The blood of Christ. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Sorry. That's really low. This is dumb. What's the IHOP's secret to perfect pancakes, you ask? What is it? Thank you. According to IHOP's VP of Culinary Innovation, Marie Grimm, they don't use any fat on their griddles,
Starting point is 00:14:33 meaning no butter or oil. Typically that would mean the pancakes would stick, but IHOP's griddles must be seasoned from years and years of hard use so they stay slick. Those pancakes are fluffery. I'm not editing that out. You get so many mulligans. That was art.
Starting point is 00:14:52 They're very fluffery. Oh my god. I should win an award. They're very fluffy and they aren't greasy or oily at all. Yeah. So that checks out. They also have a special batter dispenser to keep this pancake size uniform.
Starting point is 00:15:08 As for getting the color even on both sides, that comes from practice. Oh, okay. I wonder if they have a little IHOP school. Olive Garden. IHOP College. Olive Garden has like a actual Tuscan kitchen in Tuscany that they send chefs to.
Starting point is 00:15:23 No, they don't. Do they really? But it's like, it's basically an embassy. It's like when you go in the American embassy in Italy, you're not actually in Italy. That's like going to the Olive Garden kitchen in Italy. Sure, you're in the borders of Italy, but it does not count. Okay, okay, okay. Cause I know people that have worked as chefs
Starting point is 00:15:44 at Olive Gardens and they were like... I don't think every chef gets to go. Yeah, cause the one I knew like definitely was, he wouldn't have gotten to go to Italy. Yeah. IHOP uses a dash of pancake batter in its omelets, which makes them fluffier. Okay, they put bread in their eggs.
Starting point is 00:16:03 So... What? Um... Um... I feel like that reaction is enough. That... Okay, all right, whatever. Whatever, IHOP. After perfecting the pancakes based on a recipe from the LePin's mother, IHOP wanted to expand
Starting point is 00:16:22 its menu options to offer lunch and dinner dishes, so in 1983, they renovated their original restaurant. One big design change was to divide the kitchen into two identical mini kitchens. When business was slow, one of the mini kitchens would shut down to save operating costs. And it wasn't the only cost-cutting measure they took. Even though IHOP wanted to grow its menu, it refused to spring for new equipment of any kind. Oh. Not even an oven.
Starting point is 00:16:50 All new menu items had to be cookable without one, which is just a really weird hill to die on. But they had the money to get another little kitchen in each IHOP? Yeah, it was like on principle, we're not getting different equipment than what we have. So they just duplicated the kitchen. The equipment is new anyway.
Starting point is 00:17:07 Just get things that you can use to make burgers. Well, I mean, if they have pans, I mean, you could make a burger in a pan. I mean, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. Okay, I have. I didn't try the burgers.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Maybe there's something to this. Yeah. Which burgers, you don't think of IHOP because breakfast food today makes up 65 to 70% of their business. Of course it does. Pancakes is in the name of the restaurant. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:37 As part of its menu expansion, IHOP created the Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity in 1980. Which like, what is this? What is it? Wait, we need to explain to them why we don't know what this is. It's back. Great.
Starting point is 00:17:49 There's signs, there's nothing on the menu that defines what it is. There's no signage that defines what it is. The commercials. I still don't know what it is other than commercials, yeah. The commercials don't tell you what it is. They just say, Rudy Tootie, fresh and fruity is back. It's here.
Starting point is 00:18:03 What's here? What's here? What has arrived? And they show you pictures that are on basically every other IHOP advertisement. Which are pancakes and fruit. It's pancakes and fruit. And I'm like, what is Tutti Fruity extra booty about?
Starting point is 00:18:16 Extra booty. Is it different fruit? What is it? That's my guess. Yeah, I'm not. Is there a show? This is, IHOP, like we Yeah, I'm not. Is there a show? This is, IHOP, like we should tag IHOP. We look so amateur, not know, like, but here's the thing. They need to make it apparent.
Starting point is 00:18:36 They do. There's a poster in the IHOP. So it says, Rooted 2D Fresh and Fruity. Fresh and Fruity is here. And pictures of pancakes. And pictures of pancakes. And pictures of pancakes. And it's in the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:18:46 It doesn't tell you. There's no corresponding spot on the menu for it. Which is probably why they put it in the corner because they were like, we don't want people asking about this shit. We don't want to deal with this. Like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:55 We don't know what it is either. Like. Like. Like. Corporate just sends us this stuff and tells us to put it up. When our server came by, she... What do you want?
Starting point is 00:19:07 And she's just avoiding eye contact, sweating bullets. She's like, please don't mention Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity. Please don't mention Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity. Oh my gosh. You nailed that. I did. You nailed that. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:19:15 You got the part. Oh my God. It's still one of their most iconic dishes. Fruity Tootie Fresh and Fruity? It's literally the next line here. Two eggs, bacon or sausage, and two fruit top... That's Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity? It's literally the next line here. Two eggs, bacon or sausage, and two fruit-topped fri- That's Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity? I got a Rudy Tootie Fresh and Fruity!
Starting point is 00:19:31 News to me! This is- news to me! Two eggs, bacon or sausage, and two fruit-topped pancakes. This is their breakfast special. It's not back. It's always here. It didn't go anywhere! It never went anywhere You just gave it a dip of different name for a month And and by the way in the menu it didn't say Rudy to D fresh and fruity for literally the thing
Starting point is 00:19:53 I ordered that apparently was you know what it said. It said two pancakes and some eggs and a breakfast sandwich and hash browns whatever Yeah, whatever The bigger menu and other efforts to expand worked. By 1992, there were 500 IHOPs. They hit 1,000 locations in 2001. World domination is good. When you're an international house of pancakes, you gotta, you know, you can't be local and claim to be international.
Starting point is 00:20:20 You have to put your foot down wherever you can put it down in every country every territory. I want I hop imperialism Yeah, I want them Ruthlessly taking over other economies great. Yeah. Yeah colonialism And they didn't stop there in 2007 I hop bought Applebee's wait what for $2.1 billion in all cash. I like to think that they got it in like little suitcases. Who carried the cash? Who got to be big pimp,
Starting point is 00:20:56 big pimpin' with that suitcase full of money? This is why their Wikipedia's been scrubbed. Oh, oh. When you're making all cash deals to buy Applebee's. That's really sketchy. That is actually a very good thing to point out. You scrub your history from the internet. The International Organized Crime House of Pancakes.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Yeah, the International Crime Syndicate of Pancakes. Yes. The ICSOP, the Ixop. They're gonna make a sequel to like the 888, and it's gonna be the big bad. It's gonna be IHOP. I would love that. In 2018, the world's first hybrid IHOP Applebee's
Starting point is 00:21:40 opened in Detroit for the indecisive family who wants dollar margaritas and pancakes. Like the pizza hut talk about, but the IHOP Applebee's. in Detroit for the indecisive family who wants dollar margaritas and pancakes. Like the pizza hut talk about, but the IHOP Applebee's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, I'm not mad at that, but why? Because IHOP already has lunch, dinner,
Starting point is 00:21:56 and breakfast, and dessert. It's kind of a just because we can kind of thing. Just because we can. I like that Detroit got that. They need a win. They, yeah. Yeah. I like that Detroit got that. They need a win. Yeah. I love that for them. In 2009, Vermont became the final US state
Starting point is 00:22:12 to get its own IHOP with a special concession. For an upcharge of 99 cents, Vermont's IHOP is the only one in the country where you can get real maple syrup. Okay, I like that for them. Vermont's thing is maple syrup. And for them to be a holdout and be like, nah, nah, nah.
Starting point is 00:22:28 You're putting disrespect on the name of pancakes. And they're like, all right, we'll cave. 99 cents more. We'll do it your way. They're like, listen, this is our state. Do you think they pay that 99 cents all cash? All cash? In a briefcase?
Starting point is 00:22:41 Yeah. One briefcase with three quarters, two dimes, of four pennies. It's like a jug of pennies that they carry around with them. Quarters and pennies, however you would have to do that. Like an emptied out arrowhead bottle. It has to be like lower end enforcers on the mafia have to do it because nobody wants to cart around the coins.
Starting point is 00:23:00 So it has to be people that are just getting inducted into the organized, the international organized crime syndicate of pancakes. Because you have to be like really high-end to carry the dollar bills. And this is why the Wikipedia only has three sentences. No they want you to know the stuff. Okay. In 2011, an IHOP opened in New York's East Village. Restaurants of nearby apartments immediately started complaining about air being filled with the nauseating smell of bacon 24 hours a day. Oh.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Which isn't a nauseating smell. I love the smell of bacon. Also, that bacon isn't very... Their bacon is, yeah. Yeah, I like what smell from what bacon? It's like a piece of paper. It's very thin. You can see through it.
Starting point is 00:23:44 You actually, like you literally can. So I don't know where that bacon smell's coming from. One guy literally moved out because of it and tried to sublet his apartment, but couldn't find anyone else who would rent it. I would literally never give up a New York City apartment because of the smell of bacon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Why would you, assuming that this man found the perfect apartment, he doesn't deserve it. He eventually found a tenant who didn't spend much time at home. I love that that piece of information is known and out in the world. I hope that this guy is living in the suburbs. Where he belongs. How dare you give up perfect city real estate because of bacon. Eight months after opening, IHOP responded by installing a $42,000 smog hog machine to kill the awful odor.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Okay. Smog hog is a very kind of like big bossy name to get something. It was my nickname in high school. Smog hog? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, are you? Of course I'm kidding. Okay, all right, because high schoolers are mean. Whoa, I didn't realize it was an unflattering thing. The smog hog.
Starting point is 00:24:46 You don't interpret that as a compliment. Listen, I'm trying to think of, I'm listening. I'm trying to think if I knew any smog hogs growing. I did. I never, I wouldn't. Name them first and last name. No, I can't do that.
Starting point is 00:25:03 One of them is dead. One of them has expired. Wear your helmets when you drive your motorcycle. That feels irrelevant. That feels like it didn't come out of nowhere. In 2013, iHop gave its menu a makeover, cutting down on the words, adding more photos, and turning the pizzazz dial as far as it could go.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Okay. And it really worked. Sales went up an average of 3.5% the following month. Wait, hold on. So they just had more enthusiasm and it worked. But it already got you in, you're already in the restaurant. got you in, like, you're already in the restaurant. How do sales go up if you're already in the restaurant? I guess pictures were like impulse buys maybe.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Yeah. IHOP customers hate reading. Shock. Ugh. Since 2014, IHOP has gone with cool brands that use slang strategy on ex-formerly Twitter. Producing gems like pancakes on fleek, which I hate. Anyway, their edgy humor went too far and they posted a picture of a stack of pancakes
Starting point is 00:26:12 with a big knob of butter in the middle. The caption, flat but has great personality. That's not a very Gen Z joke to make. That's like a 50, 65 year old dad joke to make. That joke was made by a man named Hank. An airplane is his favorite film. It actually says that here. Yeah, why do companies think that hiring
Starting point is 00:26:39 like a recent college grad is? I mean, for social media, that makes sense. But like, if you're gonna hire a young person that knows social media, then you need to hire a young person who's enthusiastic about your voice of your brand. Because if they're... Not trying to do their tight five on your social media. Yeah, like, yeah. This person... Why? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Yeah, if you want to appeal to the young people, hire a young person, but make sure that they love pancakes. The company did delete the tweet and apologize. Of course they did. Yeah. In 2018, they hit on a stunt that actually worked. IHOP sparked controversy by temporarily renaming themselves IHOP to promote their new burgers.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Most people hated the idea, but it got them talking. Of course it did. That is literally how I felt about it. I remember. I remember when that happened, and I remember thinking, why is this news? Like, they must have hired a PR team to really just push that out
Starting point is 00:27:35 and make sure people published these controversial articles about IHOP's new burgers. Yeah. I picture a bunch of actual monkeys in a boardroom being observed by like the IHOP team on clipboards and they're just like, what ideas do they have? Yeah, we're all out and they just have the IHOP logo and the monkey goes over and pushes the P upside down and they're like, oh, what could the baby because they learned from their previous tweet boob wasn't going to cut it.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Oh my god. They're not a breast. The International House of Boobs, like that would have generated organic news because you cannot convince me that the IHOP, the burgers, like they must have had a deal with some kind of news outlet to make sure that that actually got traction. Who's inter- like, International House of Boobs immediately, I'm there. I'm like, it's got style.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I would go, look, if IHOP just did a hard right turn, it was just like- Is red, white, and blue, like, booby pancake outfit, where they're like, no, no, they have like the little cute tops that accentuate their curves or whatever, but it's like two pancakes with the little knobs of butter right there. Like, of course it's not real, but it will get people talking about your restaurant.
Starting point is 00:28:51 And just the billboard, IHOP stacked. Exactly. Boom. There you go. And like, God, that would be the, if I could invent a hard pivot for IHOP to take, it would be like, fuck it. We're a restaurant now. Yeah. Even as a joke, because for IHOP to take, it would be like, fuck it, we're a restaurant now. Yeah, even as a joke, because the IHOP was a joke. They were never gonna rename their restaurant.
Starting point is 00:29:12 But if they joked about making it like a restaurant. And my knee-jerk reaction to hearing IHOP that change was, oh, the pancakes must have gotten bad. Like it didn't make me want burgers. IHOP, it makes me think of somebody that's hobbling along. They're so exhausted, and they're just like, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Starting point is 00:29:32 I mean, that is kind of their clientele. Yeah. So. They had a pretty diverse clientele today. They did. Yeah. According to brand index data, IHOP's word of mouth score skyrocketed following the name change.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Prior to the IHOP campaign, 19% of US adults said they'd talked about the chain in the past two weeks. 20% of Americans before they were even newsworthy were like, Yeah, I talked about IHOP recently. I've disgusted IHOP. Within the last fortnight, IHOP has come out of my mouth. It's their Roman Empire. And after IHOP, that figure had increased to 30%, their highest score since late 2012. I'm not bragging that hard on a 10% increase.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Who's also tracking their subject matter of conversation? Yeah, it's probably trending like hashtags. Down to a percentage, yeah. But? No, I'm just thinking of somebody going out and doing a survey. Excuse me, I'm for a dollar. Like how many times have you? Is that the price to talk to a stranger?
Starting point is 00:30:23 Have you mentioned? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Like how many times have you is that the price to talk to a stranger? Yeah, yeah, yeah it is take it with a grain of salt But according to an IHOP employee on reddit always asked for to go Syrups at IHOP that stuff on the table has probably been there for years with just a bit added to fill it up. Oh The warm stuff they bring you goes back gets gets dumped back in the pot, then re-served. No. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Little kids suck on it, and God knows what else. Mm-hmm. Nope. Yucky. Mm-mm. No, no, no. Yucky. But I believe it, because kids are lawless creatures.
Starting point is 00:30:59 We'll get, we'll get, we'll get into that. Oh my gosh. In 2022, IHOP dropped a blueberry syrup flavored mini pancake cereal with General Mills. That was such a hybrid. I didn't know when that phrase was gonna end. Yeah. Blueberry syrup flavored mini pancake cereal
Starting point is 00:31:16 with General Mills. That's too many words in a cereal for children. Yeah. It looked bad. One reviewer described it as Crunch Berry Light. Okay. I mean I like crunch berries Yeah, I don't really eat cereal anymore, but I remember I remember yeah there are currently
Starting point is 00:31:34 1790 IHOP restaurants including locations in 13 other countries. They are officially international International Crime Syndicate house of pancakes There are also strongholds the world over speaking Pancakes. There are also. Strongholds, the world over. Speaking of them, there are also 1,540 Applebee's all paid in cash. Bringing the combined total to 3,430 restaurants between the two. Nice. The company is called Dine Brands,
Starting point is 00:31:58 and it includes Fuzzy's Tacos as well. Fuzzy's Tacos. I've never heard of Fuzzy's Tacos. There was one in Athens before. Yeah, shortly after I moved, they made a Fuzzy's Tacos as well. Fuzzy's Tacos. I've never heard of Fuzzy's Tacos. There was one in Athens before. Yeah, shortly after I moved, they made a Fuzzy's Taco in Athens, because it was UGA. Are we talking about Hercules again?
Starting point is 00:32:12 Athens? No, I lived in Athens, Georgia. R.E.M., it's the end of the world as we know it, not like Greek gods or anything. Music gods. Athens, Georgia. Oh. Yeah. Music town, but also a Fuzzy's Taco town. Those are the two things on the billboard
Starting point is 00:32:31 when you drive in. Exactly. R.E.M. Fuzzy's Taco is here. Those are the two things the city's known for. And lastly, each year, IHOP sells 700 million pancakes per year, along with 1.5 million gallons of syrup, 100 million cups of coffee, and 14 million gallons of orange juice. They really pushed the orange juice when we first got there,
Starting point is 00:32:58 so I believe that. They asked us if we wanted orange juice before they asked us if we wanted coffee. And I had to say, could you, could I have coffee? She really wanted me to have orange juice. Al would be ashamed. Al was like, listen, oranges are what the people need. That's the Al's mafia.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Al's mafia was like, we don't do, we don't do drugs. We don't do, we don't do sex workers. We just do oranges. We do oranges. We do coffee. Get don't do sex workers. We just do oranges. We do oranges. We do coffee. Get these people on that juice. Yeah. And that'll do it for this week's Eat Dates.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Okay, so we've heard about the history of IHOP. And you know, we have thoughts. We have a review. We went. Yes. But people gotta wait a week for that. Okay. This week, you get to hear what other people
Starting point is 00:33:45 thought about it. We're gonna turn to Yelp. We're gonna go to this week's Yelp from Strangers. ["A Little Yelp from Strangers"] A one star, two star, three star, four by-y-y. So get a little Yelp, a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers. A little Yelp, a little Yelp. Give us those complaints while you literally white and die.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Yelp! All right, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite. One, two, three, four, and five star Yelp reviews of the restaurant that we went to. This week, International House of Pancakes. One star review. I'm gonna start us off with a one star review.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Okay. We're, look, we're coming out the gates, negative. I like going in ascending order, so. It's saying, you know, it's all uphill from here. It's the correct way to go. Yeah. This is from Harry S. Updated four months ago.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Mm-hmm. But it was updated. But the original review was over five years ago. So I'm gonna read the, I'm gonna read the original review from five years ago. All right, okay, from five years ago. By the way, the update was also one star. I went to this IHOP location for breakfast.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Food was okay, but I found hair on my food. Okay. Common thing. Right off the bat. It happens. Okay. I told the server, and she changed my food. She was nice person, of course.
Starting point is 00:35:24 It's not her fault. But when I went to register to pay, I don't know who was she lady next to the register. I think she was manager. She asked me everything was okay. I told her I found her in my food and she told me we don't have hairy person in kitchen. I don't know what she was trying to say. That's not right way to talk to the customer. One star. The thing that sticks out to me about this immediately is that the manager tells you that they do not have a hairy person. They do not have hairy people working in their kitchen. They're not in the building. They're not in the premises, honey.
Starting point is 00:36:05 So I don't know where this hair came from. We are a smooth organization. We employ dolphins at this establishment. It's literally impossible for you to have hair in your food. IHOP, we wax. We wax. That's for their restaurant. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 00:36:22 But that denial is just like... What a weird comeback. I'm sorry. I'm really having trouble moving on from this. Is everyone bald? Is everybody bald? Is every like, what? Do they moonlight as competitive swimmers and they have to shave? Like what is happening here, ladies?
Starting point is 00:36:42 I gotta shave seconds off my time. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. So hair on shave seconds off my time. Yeah. Yeah. OK. All right, so hair on your food. That sucks. Sorry about that. Here's the thing. I could forgive hair on my food, but, like,
Starting point is 00:36:51 if somebody got in my face and was like, I don't employ hairy people, then I completely understand that one star is you. I get it. Look, I'm on his side. I'm on his side. Yeah. Not only does your food have hair on it,
Starting point is 00:37:04 but, like, they're discriminating against hairy people in the kitchen. They're gaslighting you. I'm on his side? I'm on his side. Yeah. Not only does your food have hair on it, but like they're discriminating against hairy people in the kitchen. They're gaslighting you. They're lying and they, it's just not good either way. Yeah. That's what that is. Two star review.
Starting point is 00:37:17 All right, we're gonna keep going in ascending order. This review is from Richard. Richard has given IHOP a two star review. The review says, damn, from the moment you touch the broken janky door to the overcrowded worker area at the front door, one gets an uneasy feeling. Country fried steak was soggy from sitting in Greece
Starting point is 00:37:40 too long. Okay. Hash browns should be golden, not white white and specks of dark brown to black. Yeah, flipping the burnt side down is a weak practice of a subpar business. End of sentence. Only highlight was good service from two good hard workers. The check on us repeatedly. Where or where has good breakfast food establishments gone?
Starting point is 00:38:06 I think they meant where oh where and trying to be dramatic, but I love where or where. People that leave low reviews type furiously. And so grammar is not the first thing. It's out the window. Out the window because rage is just taking up so much of their mental bandwidth. Guess I just cook it myself at home.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Also, please do not respond with a generic BS apology because it's too late. And I hope others think twice before dropping $55 on $20 flavor. Did you spend $55 on yourself? What did you order her? Yeah. Was all of this for you?
Starting point is 00:38:52 Spending $55 at IHOP as an individual is difficult. That's, that's challenge eating. That's like, you're setting a world record for like most burritos consumed in 30 minutes or something. This guy, he like really picks on their appearance. He found that for the moment you touch the broken janky door to the overcrowded worker area. Here's a consistent thing I'm seeing in a lot of the reviews is that
Starting point is 00:39:19 while I hopped, the establishment may be lacking in some areas. The service is always nice. So that's like- I did find some reviews that that was not the case. Okay, where that was not the case, all right. I don't know if they're in this bench. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Guess I just cook it myself at home. Yeah. Go cook yourself at home. Why are you? Yeah. I do agree with him on the hash browns. So anyway, okay. Yeah. There are things I agree with him on the hash browns, so anyway, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:45 There are things I agree with in this review, but Richard, you gotta, this is full of toad. Which I appreciate, but also I don't know if I would like to know you in real life. That's just kidding, I would. Anyway. You dropped that facade so fast. You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out.
Starting point is 00:40:20 People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks. All right. Well, that's going to read oh so many of them. Thanks. All right, well that's gonna do it for this week's part one episode. Next week we get to dive into our review of the International House of Pancake, the International Organized Crime Syndicate of Pancakes. Paid in cash.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Y'all can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast, please do so. We're on YouTube now, so you can watch these episodes. It's a fully produced show. Subscribe on YouTube, like, leave a comment below. Send me an email, fine dining podcast at gmail.com. Go to the website, fine dining podcast.com. If you worked at an IHOP and you have weird stories,
Starting point is 00:41:02 tell me, send those in. Send them in, send them via email or comment them below. This isn't my podcast, but I'm very interested, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I would like that. Great. Well, Jasper, thanks for joining me. Well, I mean, you're gonna join me again.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Of course. Very soon. Yeah, thanks for having me. Literally in a week. Where do you want people to follow you? What do you? Oh. Yeah. Yeah, okay, so you can find me, Hey Jasper Lewis across platforms.
Starting point is 00:41:27 That's at Hey Jasper Lewis. I'm on TikTok, Instagram. Great. And look at my IMDB and make that number go up. Oh my gosh. Wait, is that how it goes up? Just people looking at it? People clicking on it.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Oh. Yeah, make me look fancy. I wanna be on Night Court. Awesome. Well, we're just gonna be sitting here waiting on our table. So see you in a week. Have a fine day. We're so hungry, tummy's grumbling. Waiting on our table, waiting on our table. We gotta continue our search for mediocrity. Waiting on our table, waiting on our table.
Starting point is 00:42:08 We'll be waiting on our table. Waiting on our table. Waiting on our table. Waiting on our table. Waiting on our table. Waiting on our table. Waiting on our table. Waiting on our table.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Waiting on our table. waiting on our table We'll be waiting and dissipating it Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We're swimming in between, we're digging in Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table We've got an appetite for just sit tight Cause we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table Search will continue when we see you Waiting on our table, waiting on our table
Starting point is 00:42:40 Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table We've got an appetite for just sit tight Cause we're waiting on our table Waiting on our table Search will continue when we see you next week Hee hee hee But I'm not ever gonna Waiting on our table
Starting point is 00:42:57 Waiting on our table Waiting on our table Waiting on our table Waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table, waiting on our table. Have a fine day!

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