Fine Dining - Literal Eternity at Benihana

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

It takes 2 hours for Michael & Garrett to finally get food in front of them A child pyromaniac in this week's "What's Going On Over There?" segment The least charismatic hibachi chef ever Michael & G...arrett debate the merits of a restaurant having a minimum and maximum possible score before even walking in Wallace reviews Benihana's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB puts your customers to work We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Benihana stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Red Lobster! If you have ever worked for Red Lobster and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of Red Lobster's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome back to the fine dining podcast the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America I'm your host Michael or Nellis and I'm your host Garrett's work And we are on a mission to find you the most mediocre restaurant because we can because we want to because we're just Okay as human beings and we think it's perfect We do that based on a restaurant's atmosphere service and food and for those of you who have joined and started supporting our patreon Huge. Thank you. We really appreciate it. We're making fun extra content for you. You can download our songs We have a full hootable video episode you get to see how amazingly beautiful we are as men Yeah, it's very entertaining and I know you know episode about Hooters
Starting point is 00:00:44 You just want to see two dudes cuz yeah, that's what Hooters is all about. Yeah Well, there is also a photoshopped version of you as a Hooters girl in that episode. I look pretty good And on top of that, there's a bonus episode every month. We've gone to Rudy's barbecue. We've gone to fud rockers this month We're going to Portillo's famous Chicago hot dog and Italian beef chain But that's not what we did this week. No, we went to Benny Hanna's Garrett. You pick this I love teppanyaki style restaurants. Mmm. It is not a hibachi. This is a common misconception Yeah, teppanyaki restaurants are restaurants based around a flat-top grill stainless steel Yeah, all everything is cooked chopped on this grill. That is the key element of teppanyaki interesting and hibachi is
Starting point is 00:01:34 Meat cooked over really hot coals. Oh So everyone uses the term hibachi for this and I have never actually heard hibachi used correctly Yeah, I don't think I've had hibachi I think there's a lot of confusion because some of the items are called hibachi steak or hibachi chicken That makes sense. So like my best guess for that is they share like a seasoning style I see type of food. So now, you know, this is So it's a teppanyaki style place not a hibachi grill But all of you are still gonna call it hibachi girls
Starting point is 00:02:04 I will probably still call it a hibachi girl moving forward because teppanyaki is Harder to say or remember. I don't know. I'm white I'm Asian but like not that type of Asian Japanese am I allowed to continue talking can I respond to this? Sorry? Sorry guys. I'm not that type That reminds me back in my childhood I grew up in this small little town of three thousand one of the things I heard frequently was that like the kids I think you put your eyes up put your eyes down the Chinese Japanese racial slur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got that a lot as a kid I did not
Starting point is 00:02:43 Well this place was certainly a show. Yeah, it was built to be that way, but I I Mean our first impression should we just go into first impressions because they made me a little fussy They made you they made us both a little bit fussy. I think for different reasons Yeah, let's do some justice and play that song and then we'll do our first impressions. Let's do it First impressions, okay, so our first impression of the place we we drive by Parking lot is packed. So we have to park pretty far away. It's at a mall We end up walking through the mall looking for the Benihana
Starting point is 00:03:34 There is no Interior entrance inside the mall to this Benihana that is attached to said mall. I couldn't find it We successfully made it to the food court. We did make it to a food court. We You know looked around and we're like there's got to be like at least a sign For like a two-story David Buster's in there, too I'm really excited to try that out. Yeah. Yeah, and we walk out into the little courtyard And the only way I'm able to find Benihana is because there's a big glass window at the top of the cheesecake factory And the neon sign of Benihana is reflecting off of it
Starting point is 00:04:08 Ah, so I'm able to locate the backwards logo of Benihana off of a cheesecake factory walk around And it's got like a kind of a nice ornate storefront with like a stylized Tori gate at the top and We're looking at it. We're across the street taking our usual Selfie that we take and then we notice the smell. There's like manure. Okay. I grew up in the country It smells exactly like manure. It smelled like someone tracked something in on their shoe. Yeah, it smells like Bakersfield Yeah, it wasn't pleasant now. I that's not a thing I hold against the restaurant. It is a mall Yeah, you know, it's a public place. So I'm just outside of the restaurant's purview We saw another thing. There was a work truck there
Starting point is 00:04:52 It looked like maybe a pipe fitter or some tradesman there Yeah, my guess was to deal with that and fix that smell. Yeah So I bet there was like a sewage pipe or something and this poor man was working after hours on a Sunday So this dude's probably getting like triple time. Yeah, and we were very distracted. Yeah His work truck had a flashing light on it. It was like a disco Yeah, so it was like a dance club right outside the Benihana. It was so bright It's like getting pulled over it felt like it was just like this light is just you can see it in every direction in like a 30 to 40 foot radius and like the music was the loudest outside
Starting point is 00:05:30 I actually saw like there was a group of maybe five six children Starting a dance floor and dancing to the music with the light. Well in addition to that I noticed a lot of groups. There were a lot of groups outside. Yeah, kids were like dancing to the light You know light was just very pervasive kind of annoying, but again, it's outside the restaurant's control So it's not a thing that factors into the restaurant for me You could From one part of the restaurant see out the window in the slashing light was still coming I bet that was kind of annoying for that table. Yeah, but we went inside the lobby is packed
Starting point is 00:06:05 Outside the waiting area is packed. There's there's like a patio and it's just people Everywhere now we're ten minutes early for a reservation We made a reservation because we looked up all of their reviews were saying hey You have to make a reservation and you're still gonna wait longer after that. I was like, yeah, to be what ten minutes I can I can deal with that. It's fine. I get it. It was not just ten minutes Oh, it wasn't we checked in eight minutes before the reservation We did not end up being called to go to a table for an additional 54 minutes so 46 minutes after the moment of the reservation we got a table and
Starting point is 00:06:48 The people watching that we got to experience everyone was coming up to the hosts pissed off Just in a mood feeling a kind of way They've all waited and me watching on a little bit self-righteous in the sense of I am paying very close attention to what everyone who's Complaining is saying their reservation time was because I'll be damned if anyone's gonna leapfrog me just because they complain If the squeaky wheel gets the grease here I would be ready to just jump in and squeak squeak away if anyone who is like Oh, I had a 630 reservation and they get seated before it didn't happen mind you it didn't happen
Starting point is 00:07:26 But I was ready I wish that would have happened It was at least half an hour before the group that was seated got called up like you know It's a lobby area So there's a lot of standing room only and then there's like benches and stuff and boy are those benches primary Alistate you want to sit when you're gonna be waiting for 45 minutes. Yeah, so we had to stand for you know Oh while we didn't get to sit for at least like a half hour and actually hmm. I've got a grudge Garrett really Michael Chang So they called out all right party for Michael and I was like
Starting point is 00:08:03 Finally and then two groups stand us and then this group that had the benches And there's just a guy whose name was Michael who also stood and they seemed accommodating to him and not me I was like what what I just asked you and you said I was next they were like Oh, this is a different party for Michael. Yeah, this is from Michael Chang and now me I was excited at this moment. Yeah, I didn't hear Michael Chang. I heard Michael Chae. I'm like, oh shit Michael Chays here What yeah? Yeah, just Michael Chays slummin it at an Arcadia California Benny Hanah, you never know. Yeah, it was it was a mess It was a ridiculous amount of time to wait and the longer what 46 minutes past the reservation
Starting point is 00:08:44 Notice the fun thing too. So so many families were here. Yeah, and well if the parents are up fighting for reservations Who's watching the kids? It's a mystery. No one's watching the kids. Yeah, they're just running amok So the kids next to me. This is probably a teenage girl. Maybe like 12 13 14 I don't know like that. Yeah, and the boy. He's probably I like how you said teenage and then your first example was not a teenage number I have no reference to the ages of kids or they all look the same. So like the boy was maybe six seven eight I don't know. Yeah, so they're fighting out of nowhere. This child boy tells his older sister You're a big slut. I have to do everything not to just bust out laughing. I didn't hear it You told me you were giddy when it happened. You were like Michael
Starting point is 00:09:32 You want to hear what the youth of today is like? The girl was like, don't you call me that I'll punch you in the face. Wow I don't I don't want to see two children fighting that long into our way. I would have welcomed Now the main thing we usually talk about during first impressions I mean, this is all fair game what we're talking about so far But kind of like the entryway decor they had a lot of like sake Bottles and and like the nice like almost vase looking almost like a ceramic or like a pottery. Yeah Yeah, and like some bonsai trees bonsai trees. It was a nice welcoming
Starting point is 00:10:07 Thematic area. I liked it. It made you think man. This is Japanese. That's the best way I can describe it My first thought was Japanese There's this one host who is wearing one glove like in a Michael Jackson II way But also it was a like sanitary latex glove But it was just one and he kept like putting it on his chest or something Yeah, like holding his hand on his chest. I think that's just kind of like his default customer service posture is what I like I don't think the glove had anything I think it was the hand he used to handle menus
Starting point is 00:10:39 So he needs a glove to handle the menus that or he's needlessly paranoid like the menus didn't strike me is like dirty or anything Of course, they're handled by a lot of people. So there probably are germs, but yeah Yeah, this one gloved Michael Jackson host He had what I assume were some of his friends walk in at one point they walked in he recognized them and he immediately just said no Like exasperated just like no you I can't I can get you a water to go But if you want a table you got to come back in like two and a half hours Like he was firm with them and I this was another thing where like I was like perched up and ready to jump in like a Like a tiger ready to pounce if any injustice was about to be done. I
Starting point is 00:11:27 Was ready to interject. I overheard some of their conversation. Yeah, and I thought They were asking him to get them alcohol. That's what I heard I didn't hear that but that also makes sense given their age and you know much like Hooters They had big Healy energy Yeah, they looked like the type of troublemaker who would swiftly skate away if the going got tough They look like the type of kids that'll run from the party when the cops come But they hide behind a tree like they don't try that hard. No, they're low effort troublemakers Yeah, because they gave up on their search for beer or whatever pretty quickly. They left with their waters. They left with their waters
Starting point is 00:12:08 Yeah vodka waters The main lady that I saw kind of chewing out the host group was a representative for a party of 13 and she seemed very displeased when she came up. It did sound like they had a reservation So, you know, I do put this on the restaurant But she was basically being told there's no way we can get you all together And there's no guarantee that we can get you at tables near each other Which if you made a reservation, that's a thing where they should have blocked off You know a portion for them that is on them. Yeah
Starting point is 00:12:44 Now I'm saving the best thing for last as far as what's in this entrance way. There's a video crawl Yes, there is and you know, it's like, you know come to Benihana try our lunch special. Yeah faster cheaper Yeah, but that wasn't the star of the show The star of this show was a be your own chef And they basically just show like this clueless wine mom looking lady who's just standing in front of the Hibachi grill How to flip an onion and it's the most Arduously painful process I have ever seen. It's such a basic like yeah, this is how you flip something I feel like this is how tongs work. I feel like this is your middle school home economics class
Starting point is 00:13:30 This is like it's that level. This is literally just someone be like, oh my god, should I know? I'm so bad like getting up there and just stand like it's that vibe that energy Oh, no, should I flip this with a butcher knife? Oh my gosh, that's not what it's for like it was such like tame Fun like it was neutered fun in terms of like the vibe it was putting off You just see like a teppanyaki chef standing behind her as she's like looking back like is this okay and all her friends are like Oh, it's okay. Yeah, it's so funny to me because I read it completely differently like yeah They're like this is a fun thing you can do but with how the experience went for us how it took a Long time for anyone that worked in this restaurant to like show up for us
Starting point is 00:14:19 It kind of sounded like they're outsourcing like they're like We kind of need you to be the chef because yours might be a while And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor Oh, hi there, it's your favorite sponsored job, but I am back with some brand new bullshit Are you a restaurant? No, you're a person But do you run a restaurant you keep finding that your employees aren't showing up for work or they're just too expensive What with health insurance in 2023? No, thank you I remember I used to just work for hot dogs back when I was a sort swallower at the circus
Starting point is 00:14:56 Which is ironic because that's probably the job where you most need health insurance and let's face facts We know those hot dogs did way more damage to my insides than the swords ever could anyways I've gotten sidetracked you should use the greatest untapped resource at your disposal the customers sure They don't know what they're doing and they're liable to shut you down if even one person gets stabbed But live a little put customers behind your grill if they don't like their food It's their own fault. It's foolproof encourage them to do a little flippy do with the spatula and it reflects great on you When they land it it's a win-win if this sounds right to you call me not with a phone Just clink two Heineken's together underneath the bleachers at a co-ed beach volleyball game, and I'll find you. Oh, believe me
Starting point is 00:15:42 I will find you. Okay. Bye. I Remember in college our Spanish club had a fundraiser and what did we do? We went to one of these teppanyaki places and worked the grills Oh, you got to do it. I didn't do it Oh, but the girl I was trying to get with at the time was doing it Mm-hmm, and it was a freaking disaster. Yeah, like let's put a bunch of Untrained college students on this grill this hot grill with sharp knives and let's see how the food looks I mean, it gives you a new respect for the training involved I guess for the prowess of the chefs. Oh, yeah, for sure
Starting point is 00:16:19 Those are skilled human beings and they go through. You know what you're gonna get into a lot about that Why don't we just jump into it? Let's go into rusty fact roundup You know how your mom said she just hates the whip sound. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got an idea for this episode Oh God instead of whips, let's do gongs That sounds not okay Benny Hanna is a teppanyaki style restaurant that was founded in 1964 in San Francisco. No New York City
Starting point is 00:16:58 Wrong coast, but no good guess. I would have guessed San Francisco, too It was founded by Rocky Aoki It's a cool sounding name. Yeah, I'm Rocky Aoki. His real first name is Hiroaki. Okay, Rocky from that makes sense Yeah So the startup cash came from earnings from operating an ice cream truck in Harlem $10,000 from that and additional injection money from his parents the true American way Yeah, I don't know how anyone starts businesses without generational wealth anymore anyway, sure America The
Starting point is 00:17:35 Name Benny Hanna was named after his parents coffee shop Which got its name from a red flower seen still surviving after the fire bombing of tokyo in 1945 Huh, that sounds like like a tragically beautiful homage. Yeah Makes me feel bad Currently there are 78 locations in 24 states Okay, and also Panama Brazil El Salvador and Aruba probably like heavy tourist areas totally Now let's talk about the man the myth and the legend Rocky Aoki Rocky Aoki qualified for the 1960 Olympics in wrestling
Starting point is 00:18:20 Really? Yes. He was on japan's wrestling team. Uh-huh, but he didn't compete The reasoning I found said he was too heavy. So that makes me think he missed weight man. That's sad He Ended up winning multiple wrestling titles in the u.s. Yeah, and was inducted into the national wrestling hall of fame in 1995 I like to think that he used all of the chef skills like the flipping and stuff like I want to I like to think that a suplex Inspired the like shrimp office bachelor into the hat just like yeah I'll just throw stuff around and catch it wherever that actually could be part of the truth wait really When he started benihana, he didn't know how to cook at all. He had no cooking knowledge
Starting point is 00:19:04 So it was like what so it was all presentation. So it was like okay. So it was all sizzle no steak This man is the ultimate performer. I like him He also held the world record for the longest hot air balloon flight. He flew 5208 miles from japan to northern california and this record stood for like 30 years Are you serious? Yes, this he's a renaissance man. He did a trans pacific hot air balloon ride, right? Yes This dude is like why aren't there movies made about him? There's more Is there a movie made about him? No not yet, but I think someday it's gonna happen. It's movie worthy. Okay He also frequently competed in the cannon ball run
Starting point is 00:19:48 So the cannon ball run is a drive from new york city all the way out to redondo beach Yeah, so the goal is get there as fast as possible. He did this almost every single year Did he ever win? No, he never won. What's considered a fast time for that? Do you have any idea? I don't know off the top of my head But I do know it was set during the pandemic because the roads were empty because the roads were clear during the pandemic A lot of people that did the cannon ball run took advantage of it and set just unbreakable times So unless we have another pandemic or something this record's never gonna probably not gonna get tough Yeah, I assume it has to be in a car. Yeah, it has to be in a car
Starting point is 00:20:24 But the thing they soup up their cars. They add extra gas tanks The goal is for the car to be as inconspicuous as possible But you have a bunch of your friends drive around scout for cops Speed so the cops pull them over instead. Wow. So they're taking hits for people. Yeah. No, this is a whole team effort That's cool. Okay. Wow. Rocky Aoki is a badass He launched a pornographic magazine genesis in 1973. Oh classic Rocky Aoki According to his own legend his second wife Met his first wife while he was recovering in the hospital from a speed boating injury
Starting point is 00:21:10 I I assume the first wife was an ex-wife and this wasn't like a secret marriage situation, right? The first wife became an ex-wife after this incident Wait, so he did have two wives. He didn't have two wives. So he was cheating on his wife. So the lady who became his second wife Okay, the lady who became his second wife Model and actress Devon Aoki's mother Met the first wife during this hospital stay and the jig was up after that. Yeah was caught Soon after that he got divorced and he married his second wife and eventually divorced her too. Do you have a third wife? Yeah, did he have a fourth wife? He died still married to the third wife. Okay
Starting point is 00:21:47 Sometime after his marriage to his third wife four of his children sued him to restructure the will Ha they were sued him. Yes, they were concerned that this third wife was a gold digger Uh-huh So they were like, hey, we want the money when you die instead of her I mean, isn't it his prerogative regard like can the law intervene and actually force you to restructure it any certain way? Because I know there are places of like elder manipulation or something Where you can get into the will but as far as just if he wants to give something to her versus I don't know. I don't know. This is probably what the kids thought too. Yeah, who knows
Starting point is 00:22:25 He pleaded guilty to insider trading in 1999 and was fined five hundred thousand dollars Later, he was asked. Why did you do something stupid for just he only ended up making about a half million dollars too So he was asked. Why would you do something so stupid for so little money? His response was hey, I'm a risk taker Yeah, that's apparent by his entire life Yeah That's enough about rocky. Yeah, we could talk all day about him Sure Do you want to know the secret ingredient at benihana that makes everything taste great garlic butter? Yeah, it's garlic butter
Starting point is 00:23:01 They put that shit on everything One last thing the tables at benihana are most commonly designed for eight Okay, so bring along a party of eight unless you want to dine with strangers It'd be weird if you showed up with seven and they've still placed one, dude Who goes to a benihana be like table for one? Hey, that guy. Oh my gosh. I want to do that But yeah, that's the rusty facts for the week that does it for this week's rusty fact roundup Atmosphere
Starting point is 00:23:40 In case y'all have forgotten It was 46 minutes passed our reservation before we finally got to pass through the threshold Of the actual restaurant and that was after a michael fall start michael chang I raised my fist at the sky to you michael che I raised my fist to you because that wasn't you there all of garret's hopes and dreams were dashed when he didn't get to meet michael che on this night that he came into not expecting to Meet michael che So once we get through we're noticing I don't know. What are you seeing? I mean the grills. Yeah, the industrial grade vent. It is packed
Starting point is 00:24:18 Fireballs. Yeah, literal fireballs just flying Light japanese decor, I would say it was a very minimalist space I would say it made you think of japanese architecture at least I think it was like subliminally wanting you to think this is japanese using as little effort as possible Yeah, they had one of those like room divider like foldy wooden Maybe with like paper cherry blossom sort of decor on it beyond that there there didn't seem to be a ton I mean a few more vases. They had a visible kitchen so you could see the sushi chefs going to town Yeah, and I mean your table is also a visible kitchen almost
Starting point is 00:24:56 They're they're very transparent. Yeah about your food be prepared. They're transparent about everything except for their wait times I Heard a tambourine often. Oh, yeah, so they had a tambourine with their birthday song. Yeah, their birthday songs were abundant there were 11 birthday songs that is insane from the time we came in To the time we left which was an entire three hour period It was a very long time, but still 11 birthdays and three hours. That's three to four Yeah per hour. It's so many times to hear happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you
Starting point is 00:25:36 Something in japanese something in japanese and then and and then they're like tapping on a tambourine They mumbled the japanese words so hard. Oh, yeah, there were not a lot of Japanese employees. No, not at all. There were maybe a few just even asian employees, but it was a lot of whites No, it was it was a lot of white people. There were you know, definitely seem to be some Mexicans So your people and your people my people and my people mexicans and white people A lot of tambourine sounds to the point where you and I We're about birthdays. Yeah, we're all about birthdays. We are always
Starting point is 00:26:16 Join in and we sing and by the end of it. I was going crazy. I was like, this is too many birthdays You guys need to chill with the birthdays. This is way too much Way too much Enough with the tambourine. Okay enough. I'm already frustrated. I mean, I'm hangry. I told you you are I was hangry I didn't eat the entire day. I expected to be seated at six o'clock Maybe six ten and you know what the best thing to hear and be reminded of when you're hangry What the passage of time? Yeah of another year another year Another year just so many people aging. Yeah highlighting the fact that I'm aging and I can't get into the birthday spirit at this point
Starting point is 00:27:00 I'm just getting upset. I'm just like I even ordered sushi specifically Specifically so that I wouldn't have to wait for it to be cooked You could just bring it straight to me. I was like just get me something in front of me and even that took a really long time Like from the No, no, no, no, no. I'm I'm I'll I'll go into it on service This is way too much and this is about the birthdays. The birthdays were way too much. Yeah My favorite thing about the birthday thing Seeing employees scramble for tambourines
Starting point is 00:27:39 I saw on a couple of occasions employees with just a very Deliberate pace kind of just checking different nooks and crannies looking for tambourines and occasionally finding them Oh, that makes sense. If you have the tambourine, you don't have to struggle through saying Japanese words Oh, yeah, that's right. You can kind of cover up the noise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It's like the fact that you're butchering a language You can just cover it with with the jingles. Yeah, but yeah just seeing them
Starting point is 00:28:07 It almost felt like an easter egg hunt, but with tambourines It smelled good in here Once we got in and we got past the unpleasant smells of outside It was delicious smelling inside the the entire rest of the meal like it set a stage Now it was a stage where the performers arrived late But it was still a stage being set or it was more like other stages being set all around us But we don't get to experience the taste of the food. Yeah, we should have gone through the artist's website But instead we got like third party tickets and now all of a sudden they're not scanning at the door and like
Starting point is 00:28:43 You got to call your bank and like do all this stuff and the booking fees the service fees I know they oversell to they oversell you get bumped It felt like we were showing up to a show but nothing was going smoothly, but ultimately we did make it in Yeah, but we missed the opening act That's what that's what this experience and a nutshell kind of felt like I mean we didn't miss the opening act We did get a complete meal. I think just took a while toddler fights was the opening act Toddler fights were the opening act. That's fair when you call your sister a slut and you're eight What them's fighting?
Starting point is 00:29:19 What I will include an atmosphere is the people at the table with us So we were seated with two other parties. There was Presumably a couple across from us and there was a mom and it looked like her two daughters Yeah, and the daughters they seemed to have a little bit of a disparity The older daughter looked like she was probably like 14 or 15 the younger daughter looked like she was 9 10 Yeah, one was a teenager the other one looked like in elementary school or something Yeah, and they seemed happy to be there. The mom seemed very annoyed It had worn on her different people get affected by different things and I felt like you know when you see like
Starting point is 00:29:55 videos of psychological trials And they're just like testing people in different specific ways to see what the human condition is It felt like with the weight that every one of us experienced It felt like we all went through something together Like we didn't speak at all to that party the party across from us We we talked to a little bit after dessert, but we were kind of sticking to ourselves But I still felt this like kindred spirit Bonding with the other groups at our table just because it's like we got through boot camp together
Starting point is 00:30:29 But boot camp was just an exorbitant weight. So you basically just described trauma bonding. Yeah Exactly. We trauma bonded over this weight where I was just angry. I got blue balled by Michael Chang And you know it built character. I guess I will say it built character for all of us But this mom was at her breaking point. Oh, not only was it the weight she had to keep her daughter under control Oh, yeah, first thing she does when she sits down She takes the menu and touches it to the grill And by the way, the host of that walked us to our table The first thing they warned us was this thing is on it is hot
Starting point is 00:31:13 Don't touch it. So what does she do puts menu on there? Was it negligent or intentional? It was totally intentional Was it I will say it's intentional because a little bit later. She had the kids menu crown thing She also touched that to the grill intentionally intentionally right after her mother was like no, don't put things on the grill It can start a fire. Oh We've got a little fire starter in the house This wasn't the last time she did this. Yeah time number three after her mom's already like there's enough of this She puts her chopsticks right on the grill. Oh, you know would yeah, let's put kindling on this. Yeah, good idea Uh, I gotta ask Garrett. What's going on over there?
Starting point is 00:32:01 What's going on over there Garrett? I think this girl was trying to make smoke signals to alert the staff because it was taking so long She's just like, you know what if words won't get through to you. Maybe my smoke signals will Yeah, like that's I bet that's a very sophisticated kid who's like, oh, I'm an expert in smoke signals I bet she just covered that in like her history class or something Ah, and she's just like I want to apply this and see if this will draw them to me because nothing else is working It also didn't work. Yeah, I think you're giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'm not this is a 2023 kid Okay, this isn't a kid from when we were kids when we didn't know the world this girl
Starting point is 00:32:45 She's lived through a pandemic already. She has lived through a 46 minute wait already This girl is ready to resort to extreme measures. I think she was trying to burn the place to the ground I think she's like fuck this benihana. I'm taking it and all of you with me That's just my theory, but I don't know I think that's what was going on over there Now the mom of this girl almost left Yes, like put on her leather jacket got up walk don't now if she's going to the bathroom There's no reason she's putting her jacket on Yeah, no, which like she had already gone to the bathroom when our server came over to take our order the bathroom counter
Starting point is 00:33:33 Oh, exactly got to do it. That's what they called you in high school. Garrett the bathroom counter slash the meat market's work That was your name back in the day. Hey, that's where I sold it like you know this Okay, no, I don't even I don't even want to go into the direction that this bit is going I set up the deli counter tape right outside the bathroom door. So you take your number There's an electronic number sign right over the sinks. You're selling bathroom meats. I hate this Come into the bathroom and get your meat It's a bathroom deli The worst combination of words you could have said we can get away from this bit
Starting point is 00:34:10 We don't have to live in it right now. You're forcing me to live in this But she put her jacket on and left she didn't put her jacket on the first time she went to the bathroom I even heard her say this is taking too long We're leaving and she puts on her jacket leaves her purse in her seat and just goes The daughters don't react. No, they just stay there. It's like, oh mom's trying to fake leave again guys They're used to this drill She wasn't gone long enough to have like gone out to the car or anything like that So I don't know what it is
Starting point is 00:34:41 But she came back right as the chef cart was kind of pulling up to our table And she kind of begrudgingly looked and was like Okay, fine, and she takes the jacket off and like crosses her arms and sits back down But I felt like this experience broke her patience a little bit and she seemed to have a lot of patience Oh, she did and you know, I don't think she was an unreasonable woman, but she was definitely at that Exasperated point. Yeah, I'll say to her benefit. She was entertaining her daughter the entire time Like she taught her daughter how to play hangman. Yeah, which I don't know Was that like a subtle hint that she was just getting over this weight?
Starting point is 00:35:18 Whoa Garrett Yeah, you're already getting to the point where we're wanting to hang ourselves, but that's about service We're not even in service yet. We're talking about the atmosphere and we got to give it a rating What are you giving it? I'll give this atmosphere zero thumbs up. It had a mild Japanese feel to it. I guess but Overall, it did nothing positive nor negative for me. Yeah, I think I agree with that The fireballs were impressive to see the other customers
Starting point is 00:35:50 Were kind of all over the place. It's like was there anything that really stood out? No, there wasn't the birthdays were too much The grills were cool. So like yeah, everything had like a counterbalance But the place looked more upscale than You know a tgi fridays or something like that. It did look like it was classy presenting Doesn't mean it was classy, but it was presenting classy Like I guess benihana irons it slacks Benihana irons it slacks. That's the best way to put it. I'm gonna go zero thumbs on this But with the caveat that it is the closest you can get to one thumb up while still being zero thumbs
Starting point is 00:36:32 That is my opinion on benihana's atmosphere. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll be right back Service Garrett we've had a lot of service situations where we talk about just our server And then we've had a lot of service situations where we talk about Everyone involved and I think benihana is going to be one where we kind of got to talk about the team Oh, of course we started off with hosts We've already kind of talked about them one glove guy holding firm against his friends who are trying to get booze I appreciate that. Yeah, and then we get taken to our table
Starting point is 00:37:08 We get taken to our table. We get pretty immediately like a server. Yeah, she's like hi I'm so and so your other server is on break right now. So I'll be handling you Yeah, and we're like is happening again This is happening again And then we sit and it's like another 45 minutes before there's any Semblance of food. It's even longer than that before our chef shows up So we're just kind of being like I feel like we're on life support I feel like that's the best comparison. They're just trying to keep us like
Starting point is 00:37:45 Okay, we've moved them to a second location and that's all they did It's just more waiting the biggest shortcoming of this benihana wasn't that we waited two hours. It was why have the reservation? Yeah So, you know that that's on them It felt like they just they strung us along only to move us to make us feel like there's movement But okay, what would you rather have? Well, that's the thing. I would I would rather have for two hours Yeah, I don't want to wait longer in the waiting room That's that's at this point. That's what it is. It has moved from lobby to waiting room
Starting point is 00:38:15 It felt like a hospital It really is given my mindset. Yeah, you have but doctor's appointment It'll be maybe 45 minutes to get in. Yeah, there's another 45 before the doctor comes in It's I feel like it's exactly that procedure and you know what I even already had the wristband. Okay? I made the reservation. Hey, I already put the gown on too. I was ready. Yeah And we're still just sitting there with like the open back just Just to the breeze. Yeah, we're on a cold doctor's table just like waiting and it's just like get to it Come on. Give me the procedure already. It was so long and and our first waitress had no
Starting point is 00:38:55 Presentation to her. It was very much like she felt like a movie diner waitress. Yeah where it was just apathy It was just apathy. That's all I was getting out of her. It was let's hear the orders. Let's hear them. Okay Great. Oh, you're not ready yet. Uh like that kind of vibe. There was no intention behind her words There was no urgency no heart no heart at all. She especially got annoyed after she asked Hey, are there any allergies at this table and then you answer with one It's as though she just wanted the answer to be no. Yeah, I have a carrot allergy. Okay. You asked me a question I responded. Why are you so mad about it? She seemed upset because they pre-mixed the veggies that go into the fried rice Which you and I differ on our opinions for I think if someone has a food allergy
Starting point is 00:39:46 There is nothing stopping someone in the back from prepping up a few extra vegetables. Yeah, it's a fussy little boy Yeah, it's a fussy little boy. Baby. Yeah, it's a fussy little boy Yeah, it's a fussy little boy It takes a minute to chop up some veggies. I agree. I do agree with that It doesn't take that long, but I also Saw how busy they were overall and I could tell that they were just struggling to keep their mouth above water So to speak that's not my problem. It's not your problem But I understand and I've been on the opposite end when we've talked about pre-mixed food
Starting point is 00:40:27 When it comes to cheese like the the flout is at Chevy's Those were a thing where I was really upset that they were clearly pre-mixed and just like I don't know with veggies It seems very specific to be allergic to one of them It is putting dairy in a mix of something a lot of people are lactose intolerant and they can handle the other stuff You can handle veggies. You just can't handle this veggie So it's kind of like because the division is within veggies themselves. That's where I feel like I forgive the pre-mixture. You don't it, you know, it's going to affect our ratings differently I actually in this case, I'm okay with the pre-mix of it. It makes sense to do
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah, but I'm not okay with the fact They're not willing to take a minute out of their day and deal with someone's food allergy I will say they do like have all the tools right there at the grill in front of them To make things the way that you would need them. So Yeah, they ended up just seeming annoyed. Yeah, and like mind you I'm being extra bitchy about this right now For something I'll talk about later. Yeah, no, it is warranted because of what went down later They did give you something with carrots. So first waitress after she knows I'm allergic to carrots literally the person you Disclosed the allergy to she brings our salads and it's just covered with chopped carrots
Starting point is 00:41:42 There are more carrots in my salad bowl than anyone else at the table It's a hit job. So I'm clearly seeing this As a fuck you. Yeah, she knows there's no mistake. She I mean, I never I give people the benefit of the doubt I never I never assume that it's that but I've read her tone throughout it. I'm she's not giving her the benefit of the doubt Yeah, and she kind of gave like one of those half-assed like oh, well, you know I can get you another one without carrots if you want and you're just like no, it's fine So it's just kind of like I don't know. Why would you hand someone a bowl full of something? They're allergic to after five already knowing five minutes after asking
Starting point is 00:42:22 Then she went away and we had our actual Server who was very friendly. I liked her Substantially more. Yeah, she had a good demeanor. You know, she was nice to us. She had a sense of urgency She wanted to make sure everyone at the table was a little bit more, you know, my water ran out and she was like Oh, do you want another bottle? I got like the sparkling water and you know, she she was on top of it She's good. No complaints with her. No whatsoever You go to these places for the performance You want a shed like I said, we're on a stage, right? Yeah, we got into the concert
Starting point is 00:42:56 Now we want to see the show and imagine we got a cover band We're just like, oh, did I accidentally just buy tickets to what I thought was the real band? And then when I show up, it's like a bait and switch and then I go look at the poster for the concert And I'm like, oh, that's a look alike My favorite thing about the chef. Yeah, when he pelted the girl in the face with the corn Oh, yeah, the little fire starter girl She ordered a side order. Oh god. I want to talk about that. She ordered a side order of corn now the grill is Kind of public domain. So they put all the meats out, right? They cook them all at once
Starting point is 00:43:37 And this entire thing is in a way communal But obviously you have placed your specific order. So there are things that are for you But your meal comes with stuff that you didn't order per se like I didn't order that salad I didn't order the onion soup. I got them and they brought them to me and they were included It's kind of like it goes from like a four to a like six or seven course meal Yeah, I thought the corn was for everyone. I love corn. I've talked about this before I'm a corn boy your eyes lit up when that corn came and the notion that it's being like Covered in garlic butter. Oh, yeah, I'm just like I can't wait for this corn turns out the little girl ordered corn
Starting point is 00:44:16 She was the only one that ordered corn. You have to order corn on the side So I got none of this corn and I was sad But the chef, you know, he flipped he didn't do a lot of tricks No, but the one trick he did do was getting the girl to try to catch a kernel of corn in her mouth When he flips it and it just pelted her in right in the eye And he was just like oh, okay He just continued looking down the mom of this girl I was ready for her to go off on the chef
Starting point is 00:44:47 But I think she was so exasperated by her daughter's fire starting that she almost like victim blamed like man Well, that's what you get for trying to burn the place down. Yeah But yeah, I thought it was just funny. He no sold it. He just made nothing of it He just continued moving on with his day continued cooking didn't really look up Honestly, I think that's maybe the best way to deal with hitting a child in the face with food I mean, it's kind of like when a really young kid falls You know your approach to them is like you're okay. You're fine. Hey, you're okay. Don't cry And it's kind of like well like yeah, because kids will cry just because they think they're in pain
Starting point is 00:45:25 They're not really, you know, they'll fall and like look up and be like I fell and that's a That's a traumatic thing, but it's like you're you're okay So I feel like yeah, if you're around enough like parents of young kids Like, you know, some of my friends have young kids if a kid falls They kind of at this point treat it very similarly where it's just like, yeah, that's whatever. Yeah. Yeah, they'll cry it out Yeah, fine dining party of two See folks, that's how long it was that's how much of the episode you've been able to listen to That's the amount of time we waited and we didn't have the entertainment of listening to ourselves
Starting point is 00:46:04 Actually, I mean we literally did we did but it's but we weren't on no, we weren't we were more just like annoyed Michael Chang The performance skills of our chef was just lacking He didn't do a lot of tricks and I'm seeing other tables where like the guys flip and shrimp and do Chef's having the back flipping some stuff and like this guy all he did was he made a fireball Which that doesn't take effort that takes oil That you know, that's all you got to do is just burn some onions kind of and then he had a little disco ball Which to be fair I liked that was cool. He had like a little
Starting point is 00:46:42 Maybe four inch by two inch platform that had a miniature like two inch in diameter Disco ball hanging on it and he just did something where he shut off the overhead lights above our table And he pointed a green laser pointer into the disco ball and kind of just gave it a flick And it just kind of created this disco steve oaky Effect and I was just like okay guy. Yeah, that was cool. Okay. This is your move This is the one that no one else is doing that said I would have rather him have better Handling skills with like the spatula and the fork prong thing that he's like I wanted I wanted those sorts of tricks and we didn't really get much in the way of that
Starting point is 00:47:23 Acrobatics. I want spatula action. Yeah, spaction. Spaction. I want spaction real bad I also just have to mention at a place where we're doing fireballs It does stand out that our chef looked like he had like some burn marks on his face And if if that's what it was like what a dangerous profession And then the guy who brought out our dessert the manager. So clear manager vibes. Yeah, I start talking to the guy I don't expect him to answer any of these questions. Yeah, so I'm like, hey man What happens when this catch is on fire? Have you ever seen it? Yeah, and he actually goes into a story about a grease fire You're getting friendly with the guy and you're creating an environment where he feels safe with us
Starting point is 00:48:08 And he uses that to ask us a favor. He pulls out like an elastic lanyard like that's like on like a You know, you pull it and it's a retractable. Yeah. Yeah Like that kind of dumb thing Pulls out a qr code and he asks us. Oh, can you leave a five star yelp review and he starts getting kind of pushy Like he wants us to do it right there. I won't do it. I'm you know, I'm being I'm kind of just ignoring it I'm not like flat out being like no, but it took so much in me to be like Do you want me to just describe to you? What my experience was tonight and you tell me if that was a five star experience to you
Starting point is 00:48:48 Like the amount of time I waited to get a table the amount of time we waited to get any food The lackluster chef he wasn't awful, but like very lackluster He was but I think he fulfilled all of the job requirements. He cooked the food Appropriately safely it tasted good. That's not why we're here. I mean it is why we're here, but we're here for a show Yeah, this guy did not give us the show that we came for true. He wasn't even close He had one move. It was a green laser light inside of a disco ball It was four seconds of enjoyment in like, I don't know 30 minutes of interaction and I'm just This wasn't a five star experience
Starting point is 00:49:28 No And I really wanted to tell him what happened like when a manager comes up to you and asks at a restaurant You really should give an honest response. That's the only way but I just proved I didn't want the I was in such a mental state where I'm like, I don't want to air my grievances on this guy I just don't want to also. I just don't want to get like at a table with strangers Like if it was just our table, that's maybe yeah, which by the way at this point The mom had left with her daughters. They got out of there as soon as they had paid They didn't even stick around for the dessert that was included in their meal
Starting point is 00:50:04 So they had clearly been there too long Yeah, I don't know. I just don't like being put on the spot of like, hey Could you do this? Could you do this now? Here? I'll give you the qr code so you can do it right now There's a better way to do that like maybe ask us things first. Yeah, what'd you think but what could we do better? Actually, hey to be fair He did ask us how our meals were and what did we respond with it was good because that's the polite thing to do He asked how the meal was he didn't ask how the experience was and I think that's the go-around They know their food is pretty decent. Yeah, so the meal is going to be good
Starting point is 00:50:39 The meal is going to be the thing people talk about that gives him an in to go off of oh, you're you're giving me a positive answer It does because he's not asking. Hey, tell me about your whole night. He's You know, I get it. I get what he's trying to do, but I see through it I see through it and I don't love it and I didn't want the conflict. No, but it read as I don't know just a certain way it read desperate it read a little desperate But hey, I respect the man's hustle. I gotta give it to him. He tried. You know what I'm gonna give to him What?
Starting point is 00:51:11 Not two thumbs down. I'm gonna give him one thumb down For the service experience the nice waitress that we had saves this from a two thumbs down experience now The host staff the chef the manager all of them factor into this thing That I did not like But I'm only gonna go one thumb down and that's my compromise. That's my compromise with this man putting in the hustle That's my compromise with one of the servers being pretty kick-ass one thumb down But next time I want a show I want the show. Yeah, that's why you go there. Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with you there
Starting point is 00:51:50 I can't give this anything more than one thumb down. I'm purposefully given food. I'm allergic to yes I'm reading that as a slight. I'm taking it as a slight. I don't view it as purposely I'm reading this as personal But still I'm not gonna knock it too much because I don't know for sure our chef was Okay, yes our second server. She was very friendly and I wish we had her the entire time Yes, the manager was like the most hustly war hammer player I have ever met a little bit too strong No, he did come on strong But he tried and I got to respect a man who he's literally doing this for his own paycheck
Starting point is 00:52:26 Like this affects his bonus. This affects his employment. So yeah, no, I get it. Hey, man, you're trying your best So I'm going to go one thumb down instead of two thumbs down for trying to poison me Munchkin menu musings Hello, my name is Wallace and I'm five and a half years old I am movie queen But I had a kid's menu There are only two activities on the kids menu
Starting point is 00:52:59 What I love food to eat to choose to eat I like coloring with the cap. I don't know how to do the other time category There are also a half monkey. I have human on the menu The menu becomes a chef hat
Starting point is 00:53:21 The hat made me feel cool. I looks like a chef My sister was jealous Then how cool I looked Then I have crayon so Articles gave me coloring pencils I do see the menu is fun I give it 10 thumbs up Thank you very much
Starting point is 00:53:52 Food We didn't get the show, but we did get the food. We ordered quite a few things I got the first food of the table. I got a sushi sampler It didn't look all that great much like when I cook very little effort seemed to go into the plating like the most credit I can give them is that the pieces of sushi were parallel with each other You know, there was like a little wasabi a little pickled ginger It had tuna salmon snapper yellowtail and shrimp nigiri Now I ate the salmon the tuna and the shrimp back to back to back and they were all delicious
Starting point is 00:54:31 Really good sushi. I threw some wasabi on each one Love me some wasabi love a good kick the pickled ginger very fresh very good Then I came down to the other two and I didn't I knew in the menu It said snapper and yellowtail, but I like to eat stuff knowing what they are and I couldn't tell the difference So I actually googled them to try and be like, can I tell from the taste because they look similar Can I tell from the taste which is which and I had what I think was the snapper first and it was another really good saying You know everything so far is kind of tracking it like above eight. Wow. It's good sushi
Starting point is 00:55:06 Wow, and then I have the last piece the I think it was the yellowtail and it was just bland as bland can be Five out of ten and I was just like the fact that I ended on the bad note Was sad to me because this was a very good sushi sampler Overall, I'm going to say an eight out of ten sushi platter But but if you get it just expect that one of those five pieces not going to be very good So it's Japanese roulette. It's Japanese roulette except you eat all of them regardless and it's fine And from that point everything we ate was kind of shades of the same thing. We both got the course meal Yes, and uh, so everyone gets the benihana onion soup the benihana salad
Starting point is 00:55:55 the hibachi shrimp appetizer the hibachi vegetables the mushrooms and the rice and then you kind of Customize what you want your main course to be and we made sure we upgraded the rice for fried rice. Yes The hibachi chicken fried rice which is important to do then I ordered the hibachi steak and cold water lobster tail combo And I just got the hibachi steak. Yes, and then my girlfriend who joined us got the rib eye steak So where do we want to start? Why don't why don't we end on entrees? Yeah, and we'll go through all these common items Let's start off with the salad. Oh, yeah Okay, this salad that you didn't have because of the carrots. I did not try it. It was just half carrots
Starting point is 00:56:37 So I didn't even touch it. So I am going to rate this salad a zero out of 10 for trying to poison me It's an na. It's an na. You didn't eat it. It's a trying to poison me You don't know the head. I think she tried to poison me. Yes, you think wrong I think wrong a lot of time. I know They're not trying to poison you that said I did have the salad and the dressing had like a balloony aftertaste two out of 10 Bad taste bad salad the dressing was not good The ingredients were just meh two out of 10. Okay, you you missed nothing. You gave it a two. I can give it a zero
Starting point is 00:57:15 I ate it and I felt like they were trying to poison me Then the benihana onion soup this was my first time having an onion-y soup I you know, I have like onion in like stews and stuff like that But as far as just being like a soup, I'm typically like, you know Chicken and noodle type veggies all that but but usually not onion I loved this soup. I had the aftertaste in my mouth of a blooming onion I literally wrote down it tasted like I'm drinking a blooming onion This was a nine out of ten soup for me. I don't know what it is about it
Starting point is 00:57:52 But I loved this this benihana onion soup. Okay. I did not Yeah, it wasn't bad. I I'll say that it had a really subtle taste of caramelized onion It was overall safe and non-offensive. Yeah, the onion flavor stayed on my tongue So that plus the caramelization gave it like a little Rich burnt taste to it. It was good, but I just it wasn't enough for me Really, this was so flavorful to me. I feel like we had to have had from the same batch Definitely, I'd be weird if we didn't this had the subtlety of a strong miso soup To me balanced like that and me this wasn't that subtle
Starting point is 00:58:31 Kick me in the mouth with my soup. I got kicked. I got kicked, baby. I didn't at all my teeth are missing I got kicked so hard. It was like meth to me that I was missing teeth. Oh, wow I grew teeth from just being okay with it. It's that's how it works. Yeah So you gave that nine out of ten nine out of ten I'm gonna give it a six out of ten because it was good still good feel good, but yeah, I loved it This is gonna be the beginning of a bunch of safe not offensive ratings from me Disagree the hello from you the hibachi shrimp appetizer Best shrimp I've had and it had like a delicious char to it
Starting point is 00:59:07 I really it was like three tiny pieces of shrimp and they were so good I think I'm becoming a shrimp guy because between this and the hooters lemon pepper rub shrimps I'm digging it man. I really like these. I also gave a nine out of ten to these. Wow Yeah, again, I have a different opinion on these. Mm-hmm. These were safe Non-offensive shrimp. They weren't overly fishy. I could taste the grilled nature of them They were textually strong. It's just six and a half out of ten shrimp for me. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me Yeah, I don't I don't know what it is. I mean, I don't because we typically have the same palette I feel like you were hungrier though. You were hungry and wanting it more. I did I did
Starting point is 00:59:50 Yes, I did really wanted for Benny, but I don't think I don't think I was blind I don't think I was just giving out points willy-nilly because of how hungry I was like I did genuinely find it a delicious little shrimp. It makes sense Neither one of us are saying you're saying it was great and you're saying it was good. It was good Yeah, I just want more flavor to me. It was as flavorful as it could be coming from a grill Yeah, so that's all I wanted out of it. I guess it was good. I like to think that that's the uh chemical process of fat browning The malar reaction nerd. It's important for steak. So you get a good strong crisp crust to it Now let's talk about the vegetables. They had hibachi vegetables
Starting point is 01:00:32 onion zucchini and mushrooms the onion had a really weird taste to me I didn't enjoy the onion onions. Usually the slam dunk for me. I'm such an onion fan and the zucchini Which I typically don't love. I thought was really good the mushrooms I thought were really good. I give a seven out of ten just to the mushrooms alone But overall for the whole vegetable package i'm going five and a half out of ten Mostly because those onions just they had a weird aftertaste to me And I think it's probably whatever they doused them in to make the definitely that I think for the onions You might have gotten the doused one. I could taste it a little bit
Starting point is 01:01:09 But my problem with the onions. They seemed undercooked. There was too much crisp too much bitter to them The mushrooms. Oh my god, weren't they good and buttery? Yeah, I don't like mushrooms that much though Me neither. They were good mushrooms. Yeah, the zucchini Garlicy again. Everything was just doused in garlic butter. It tasted wrong. Yeah fell apart though Oh my my what I liked about it was that it had a good texture. Oh mine just was goo Yeah, I guess there's a lot of variables when you're cooking on that grill in terms of like Different hot tones. Yeah. So overall the vegetables are going to be a six and a half for me Okay, they were good like everything so far has been good. Yeah, just good. Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:48 Well before we jump into entrees, let's talk about the rice despite the fact that we ate our entrees first And I'm gonna say the rice coming out last was 100% my fault I am not convinced, but you do have what I think is a sound theory So because I have a carrot allergy, they made sure to put no carrots on the grill Until the end they just put them in a bowl in front of you and served it to you first Yeah, exactly But I understand for like food safety and stuff
Starting point is 01:02:17 They wanted to make sure that does make sense didn't touch the grill until all of my food was done But yeah, like everything was done and then they put on the rice the the lady who left with her kids They brought out a bowl of white rice at the very end after she had paid and she just kind of laughed She was just like, huh and then left Which was earned. Yeah, I feel like but yeah, the rice came out last I liked it. You know, it's hard to go wrong with chicken fried rice Seven out of ten. It wasn't perfect. The chicken flavor was probably a little bit on the saltier side for my tastes But other than that
Starting point is 01:02:54 Solid package seven out of ten and for me solid rice I did get the saltiness in the chicken too But the overwhelming flavor that kind of weirded me out was pepper. This was the most peppery fried rice I have ever had I actually yeah, I will say that as well a lot of pepper it weirded me out a little bit But it was okay. See I'll put pepper on white rice. Oh, yeah, I don't mind it But overall six and a half out of ten. It's this is my six and a half Before people come after me, I do want to say I don't default to doing that. I just say I will do it from time to time. It's not like that's the way Michael eats his rice
Starting point is 01:03:28 I don't want that to be on record. No, no Okay, so let's go into the entrees. Hibachi steak, which we both got Uh, what'd you think? I'll start this off by saying it tasted good. I enjoyed the flavor of the steak. It was very moist buttery Garlicy, it's almost as if I was having a piece of garlic bread made out of meat That's exactly what this tasted like and I love garlic bread garlic bread's great I'll have garlic bread for every single meal. Yeah, but this was a steak. I wanted some more char on it I wanted more complexity to it
Starting point is 01:04:03 I wanted to taste even just the iron-rich nature of the meat I wanted to taste that all I tasted was butter and garlic Which so that was kind of one of the big things about this whole meal everything just had that Under tone of not even under tone. It wasn't it wasn't the main flavor of butter and garlic Yeah, which is a great flavor, but it didn't vary the stuff up enough I'll give this steak again like everything else a six and a half out of ten I am rating the flavor of this food as garlic butter Everything tastes like garlic butter, which I enjoy but has diminishing returns when it's your home. That's all I'm getting
Starting point is 01:04:37 Yeah, for me the hibachi steak. It was good, but it wasn't rich enough So I I took a few bites without the garlic, but like it was it had garlic butter on top But I definitely am the type to not spread it like I don't want it all over everything I don't want every bite to be that I like getting a bite that just tests meat on its own It's kind of what I do with barbecue. I will always first bite have the meat without sauce I felt like it just wasn't rich enough. I also went six and a half out of ten But what I did try was the ribeye that my girlfriend ordered It was
Starting point is 01:05:10 Very good eight out of ten. So just that little bit of texture. I got a nice fatty bite Uh, it just melted. Okay. It was a much better steak. It's a more flavorful cut of it's a better cut eight out of ten on that And then I got the cold water lobster tail fell off the shell I'm historically not a lobster guy, but I was like, you know what I want to get some lobster this day This day. What what am I talking like? I want to get some lobster this day I've been in a lobster mood lately Mostly because I had it on my 21st birthday for the first time ate it and was like, well, this is underwhelming
Starting point is 01:05:48 I don't get the hype about lobster and then I kind of am like, well, it's an expensive thing I'm not going to get it for a really long time. I don't need it. I find it overrated Then I went out to a chinese restaurant that had like a lobster noodle dish and it was delicious It was so good. So I was like, okay Maybe I am a lobster guy and I just need it done well. So benihana seemed like the type of place I'm like lobster plus garlic butter plus hibachi grill. That sounds good to me So I got the lobster tail is good. It's good. Great texture Again fell off the shell gave me like three
Starting point is 01:06:22 Nice big chunks of lobster. I'm gonna go eight and a half out of ten on the lobster. Okay, very solid Creating a baseline for me for potential future lobster dishes On this podcast. So eight and a half out of ten strong start for lobster Overall on this food. I'm going two thumbs up. Wow but But much like with atmosphere how I gave it what I would specify is the best zero thumbs you can get This is the lowest two thumbs up you could get This is so close to one thumbs up just due to the lack of diversification and flavors
Starting point is 01:06:57 It's a lot of garlic butter the onions were kind of weird I didn't like the order that things were served But oh my gosh, I've given my rating and I haven't even factored in dessert I got a chocolate ice cream. I got the rainbow sherbet. Let's talk about that real quick But my thumb rating stands. I have nothing to say about the sherbet other than it was tart Sweet everything I expected it to be freshly portioned. I had a bite of it. I liked it a small portion I would have wanted more honestly I thought it was a very healthy just cap off the meal sort of thing
Starting point is 01:07:31 I didn't want to go nuts when I saw the dessert menu here and saw that it was only ice cream They had such a narrow dessert menu It was literally ice cream and sherbet and it was like five flavors to choose from if that so I got the chocolate you got the sherbet and It just felt like here's a palate cleanser. Here's something sweet to go home with I liked it I thought it was enough the chocolate ice cream for me probably like a seven and a half eight out of 10 I'll go six and a half out of 10 to keep this six and a half trend going it. It was good It just didn't do anything. Yeah special for me
Starting point is 01:08:04 That's what I need to really pull something up into like a higher tooth um territory So I'm gonna guess one come up for me. Yes overall this food was good It was quality everything was very consistent Everything was consistently flavored with garlic and butter and I like garlic and butter I think Benihana will be the bar for me for whether or not I'm giving two thumbs up to places on their food Really? I think if I think the food is better than benihana, they are safely a two thumbs up place if it's not as good
Starting point is 01:08:35 They're one for me. It's honestly a weak one It's a weak one. Yeah. All right. I want variety I want to taste different flavors when I bite into something. Yeah, don't just give me savory Yeah, me something else what also helped is I had sushi sushi didn't have any of the garlic butter on it I had chocolate ice cream I don't know. I feel like I did get a variety of flavors You know the stuff that came from the grill was Shades of similar but even then the lobster had a standout from the ribeye, which was a standout from the hibachi steak
Starting point is 01:09:05 So, you know, I got variety It was a lot of garlic butter, but I think I just whether it's the way I ordered or yeah Loving that soup way more than you things just fell right for you You got the food from probably the best parts of the grill whichever those may be Sure, the heat was on point where your food was cooked. Sure. Yeah We can only speculate but overall two thumbs up for me one thumbs up for you We got to rate this place But before that let's see what strangers have said about this place in our new segment yelp from strangers
Starting point is 01:09:37 We need a little yelp a little yelp a little yelp from strangers A one star two star three star four by yelp So give a little yelp a little yelp a little yelp from strangers A little yelp a little yelp Give us those complaints while you literally whine and die Yelp Okay, so this is yelp from strangers our new segment You can check out the entire thing on our patreon
Starting point is 01:10:09 We'll be posting all five yelp reviews one at one two three four and five stars From what people are saying about the benihana that we went to specifically the special one we went to yeah I want to start us off garret Three star review. I'm gonna take us right in the middle here for mediocrity. We're gonna go to that three star review This is from ashley s 18 days ago food was good However, at the end of our meal the manager came to our table and twisted our arms for a yelp review to raise their yelp rating Sounds familiar It was very unprofessional and he would not leave our table until we scanned the qr code and agreed to leave a good review
Starting point is 01:10:50 It was odd and I've never had an interaction with a manager like that three stars. I I found that just Keep talking to other people about other things and ignore and don't hold your phone up when he pulls out the retractable qr code scanner But we're also really good at just talking juries out And they actually responded thank you for the constructive criticism and sorry we couldn't make it a five star experience We'll use this as a learning experience as to how we can improve they didn't if you'd like to share further details Yeah, that is actually funny to me that we're like, oh, we're sorry that asking you to leave a five star review
Starting point is 01:11:31 Well in a very pushy way Didn't give you a five star experience surprise Yeah two star review here's a fun one. Yeah, elizabeth c two stars two months ago decent
Starting point is 01:11:47 Okay, so first off I ordered the lunch boat and I was very impressed with the lunch boat Yeah, I want that too. Oh my gosh, that's american dining at its finest I want to order a boat's worth of food and elizabeth c was very impressed with the boat theme thing Uh-huh, but unfortunately her experience did get worse. Yeah, however, I was very disappointed with the soup and salad It wasn't very delighting on my tongue For starters, my friend almost choked choked choked
Starting point is 01:12:24 Choke I'm just reading this. This is what it says. That is literally the amount of times that she wrote choked And three of them in all caps and then the last one just choked lowercase. I am absolutely sad for my friend While I know this was not benny hanes fault I was still very sad while we were singing psycho killer and eating the food is so good That makes why I don't know the service was kind of slow. Sorry to say But the show was so funny psycho killer cat. I for I for far far far far far far better Run run run run run away Wow garret, we're gonna get flagged because of copyright claims with how close that sounded to the original
Starting point is 01:13:08 That was outstanding. I do like that. They responded But it was again very generic of just on behalf of our team We would like to sincerely apologize for your recent visit with us and they're asking for feedback But it's like one of those things where like what are you getting her friend almost choked Yeah, like I don't know. How do you improve that? Unless your friend almost choked from a flying shrimp off the hunker rail. Hey catch corn If you'd like to hear the rest of our yelp from strangers segment go on over to our patreon And we'll be posting all five of our favorite reviews there
Starting point is 01:13:43 You can find the link for that in the description of this episode or just go to patreon dot com slash fine dining podcast Final rating Okay, garret, we got to give a score to benihana. We got to put it up on the chachki of mediocrity for those of you who are new here the chachki of mediocrity is our Mega wall chachki that is just a hybrid of all the cheesy wall decor You're going to find it all these chain restaurants balled up into one with a giant surfboard in the middle That is a running tally zero to ten of all the restaurant scores that we have doled out so far I'm curious. Where do you put garlic butter on the chachki of mediocrity if you're benihana literally everywhere
Starting point is 01:14:42 We need to know is benihana that perfect 5.00. Is it the elusive pinnacle of mediocrity? Hey, it's pretty close for me. Is it? Yes. All right. Let's hear it. So the atmosphere was Okay, it was safe. It was non-offensive. It made me think I was in a japanese restaurant It succeeded in its main goal, but it did nothing special for me. So that was a zero-thumb atmosphere Sounds like mediocrity the service we waited forever. They tried to poison me Yeah, but hey at the end the manager showed some grit. He showed some hustle What a go-getter. He showed some gumption. He showed some QR codes. Yes Now this man like was annoying honestly, but I could tell he was trying really hard
Starting point is 01:15:31 His intentions were genuinely self-serving for his own bonus and it read through very clearly So he saved it He saved it. That is so funny to me because that's the thing I view negatively I would have given two thumbs down, but hey one thumb down for that. Well, and we did have an actually good server Yeah, that too. Yeah, the food was Slightly above average garlic butter party Garlic butter party is a party. I want 100 of the invitation. I'll take that if you're hosting a garlic butter party This boy wants an invite. I'm checking my mail. I want to taste garlic butter and something else
Starting point is 01:16:08 Yeah, so that was only one thumb up sure overall I'm going to give this a 5.07 Wow, that is close to the center. I looked back at my ratings I gave waffle house a 5.09 and you would prefer waffle house to benihana Overall, I would prefer our experience at waffle house complete with chaos Vape man and amazing waffles every single time over in our weight And thrown chairs by the way that meme that went viral of The brawl that broke out at an austin waffle house where an employee one-handed dodged a chair away
Starting point is 01:16:47 That's the one. Yeah, we went to so I'd rather have that Then an overly long wait where they try to poison me. Give me waffle house over benihana every single day I understand the rationale, but boy are our scores different And what I want to talk about right now is premise the premise of a benihana is a high promise It is basically like you're going to come here. You're going to get a show You're going to get a meal. You're going to get socialization amongst those around you Which we talked to the couple that stuck around on the other side of the table afterward very nice I really enjoyed, you know, just a couple minutes of interaction with them
Starting point is 01:17:29 I think just the idea of the place Is romanticized in my mind to where much like how when we went to pizza hut I said because it is kind of borderline a fast food restaurant There is a cap on how high a pizza hut can perform It's never going to be a 10 out of 10. You could go to the best pizza hut in the country It's not scratching 10. It's not scratching nine. It's probably not scratching eight Maybe if it's lucky we're looking at mid sevens. That's just the cap Benihana
Starting point is 01:18:01 Conversely has a floor I think the premise of a benihana is such that it just can't be lower than a six to me barring literal disaster Well, our weight that's not disaster. Food allergies. These aren't these aren't for me. This is disaster I've been talking about like we had to evacuate because of something like those are dining disasters We experienced dining inconveniences. So to me eating a food that in that amount I don't know. Maybe it could kill me. That sounds like a tiny disaster
Starting point is 01:18:35 You knew it was there and it was put right in front of me I wasn't like as a direct response for me calling out their laziness and not dropping vegetables It wasn't held to your face like chloroform They didn't like come up from behind and like bowl of carrots you in the mouth How do they know that if I'm near carrot, it's bad for me. They don't they don't but if I have the salad with carrot regardless I'm a foot away from you like it's not that much closer So they don't know that if carrots from my proximity would kill you putting it a little bit closer to you would probably do Roughly the same. Yeah, just kind of like people's poison ivy. I allergies. Yes. I don't know
Starting point is 01:19:13 I just feel like a benihana It just has a floor. I think that floor is probably about maybe a five and a half And that's if you're going to like the worst benihana you could I don't think we went to the worst benihana. You could I hated how long we waited I hated the manager being pushy about the qr code review even though you liked it But the quality of the food I thought I gave it a two thumbs up It was a very weak two thumbs But it's now the bar of two thumbs up dining for me the atmosphere
Starting point is 01:19:42 Like it was nice ish presenting You kind of look at the details a little bit and you start to see some flaws The service was the only place where the ball was really dropped So I don't know man. Like I just I feel like On paper a benihana is just gonna perform okay better than okay Why does benihana get a floor? Why does pizza hut have a ceiling? It's just it's a it's a Vibe Established by a brand it's ingredients
Starting point is 01:20:12 Pizza hut has a ceiling because it's fast food pizza has ingredients cheaper ingredients. No, I think it's I think it's their aesthetic It's their marketing Like it's the package of a pizza hut It's the fact that drive-through pizza huts exist it cheapens the experience a little bit Benihana presents in a classy way at a gas station that doesn't cheapen the experience Lubies which had a drive-through doesn't cheapen the experience because this benihana did not Deliver to its fullest potential But there are different score ranges that I think a place's potential allow it to fall between
Starting point is 01:20:47 I just want to know what is fancy about a benihana like I don't know what makes benihana nicer than old spaghetti factory I think I think they're probably accurate comparisons honestly, and I think when you look at our old spaghetti factory rating It's 6.26. It's not that far away from where I put benihana up a point seven differential an old spaghetti factory is probably a Good ish comparison. I mean, but I don't think an old spaghetti factory has a floor I think it does. I think a lot of these places do I think a chili's has a ceiling I think an outback has a ceiling and I think the outback that we went to performed pretty strongly All things considered mostly, but like the best outback in the world. I'm probably not giving a 10 to I'm probably giving it an eight
Starting point is 01:21:29 Maybe maybe an eight and a half. So I don't think I think they could give us a 10. It's possible I don't think the atmosphere will ever allow it to be a 10. Okay. I think the food I think the service and the food I think at an outback We're getting really philosophical in in the weeds here But I think the food at an outback caps it like a nine for the whole meal, which is a very high rating Service can always be a 10 or a zero regardless of where you go Benihana has a baked in service element that isn't everywhere Which is the chef the guy cooking in front of you putting on a little bit of a show
Starting point is 01:22:00 That in and of itself is a boon to the experience Even if the guy that we got happened to be underwhelming. I wouldn't call him bad Yeah, and like he was just I don't agree. It's a boon to the experience I agree that it's part of the experience and then how well he does his job Then affects the experience look at it this way the couple sitting across the table from me said that they literally like This is the event for them. They do it like five times a year They're like, it's worth the wait. Benihana feels like an ordeal It's like it's a night out you get dressed up you go to the benihana
Starting point is 01:22:35 You know that you're gonna have a little bit of a wait, but they make it a show for you They make it an experience and even though they kind of dropped the ball on that element for us There's still a romanticism that I have with the idea of a benihana. No one is saying that about pizza hut No one is no one is like, oh man. I can't wait. You know, I'm I'm I got date night at pizza hut Not gonna lie Given the pizza hut food we got when we went there. I'll take that over this every time I thought this was good. And again, I had some better things than you did. Yeah, that almost sounds like I'm bragging like I had better I did right and and that strength carries it there
Starting point is 01:23:13 But I think just on a premise level alone I get excited at the idea of going to a teppanyaki grill. It excites me Okay, I don't I don't I have no emotional attachment with this whatsoever. I mean, again, it personal bias Of course that I mean, it's my rating. My rating is a 6.98. My floor is what it is so I don't know. I just think different places have floors and ceilings and I rate accordingly You may not I rate based on the experience you write based on what you feel
Starting point is 01:23:43 Yeah, and I mean I I am but the experience I had paints it within that window There is like a preconceived window and then you go and you experience it and your window adjusts Which mine did I thought there would be no way I'm going under a seven and a half And and here I am going under seven and a half. So my window shifted I think it's more of this was your opinion of benihana going in which I was familiar with the chain Because I hadn't been Uh, or I think I may have been once like it was maybe a romanticized idea of teppanyaki But that's the I've never had that romanticized idea of the style of the restaurant, especially so when I think
Starting point is 01:24:21 Benihana, I think okay So it's a corporate chain version of a teppanyaki restaurant I'll say this which I have eaten at multiple ones that were like smaller mom and pop joints before if our chef Had just crushed it on the performance And our first server had been awesome I'm looking at over nine. That's insane. Well, even over nine the rainforest cafe And their food was not as good as this food. I would say oh my god Their food blew this food away for me. I see I just and that's why there's two of us. Yeah, we're gonna have different thoughts
Starting point is 01:24:57 I'm gonna go 6.98. It's not an obscenely high rating. No, I think it's fair It's a notch below where I had fud ruckers where if you listen to our february patreon exclusive episode We went to the last fud ruckers in california I enjoyed it quite a bit and I gave it the perfect 7.00 So this is just a notch below that for me You and I Very far apart on this were we're almost two full points apart on where we see benihana But more importantly, where does it go when you average our ratings together?
Starting point is 01:25:30 6.03 Ha, this is outside the zone of mediocrity garret. That means you have to draw from the you must vote You picked benihana. You need a punishment to enact at our next restaurant What's it say you must take a seat at 10 different empty tables over the course of your meal So is that like you're you're like scouting empty and over the course of the meal So you can't do it like before we're seated. You have to wait for us to be seated That makes sense and then look around for empty tables and so it's gotta be like you're playing tag You're tagging the table. So I can't sit with other people and I can't sit on people
Starting point is 01:26:16 I think those are good rules to have Uh, okay, I get it's it's good that it's clearly it has to be empty because you know me I'm just gonna pull up a seat with a bunch of strangers. Yeah, I'm gonna make this a benihana experience Okay, well we need to play a little game to determine where you're gonna be doing this garret We need to play the headline game The rules of the headline game are as follows Garrett will present three headlines to michael that include this week's restaurant They can be made up or they can be actual headlines
Starting point is 01:26:53 If michael can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake He will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if garret stumps him, he'll select again Are you ready to play fellas? I am ready. Thanks for asking. Okay, let's go. Let's do it Benihana wins flying sizzling shrimp case False I don't even need to give a rationale, but you know what garret? I will flying and sizzling pick one You know, I feel like a real journalist picks one if you made it up I feel like you're going the extra adjective headline number two
Starting point is 01:27:31 Benihana chef wards off robber with knife skills deputies report Why are you doing this for me? Why are you giving me ones that are Ah Man, I need to go back and just listen to all the headline games so I can figure out how you structure Things I don't No, I know but the the deputies report sounds like it could be the key ingredient that tips me off that you made it Or it could be the reason why it's true. Huh, but I feel conceptually. It's good. I'm gonna say true Okay, so third headline. Yeah after tori spelling sus benihana over burn
Starting point is 01:28:10 dangers of habachi grills revealed I'm gonna say true on that one. I don't know why it just feels Like it could be real. It feels like it could Ah, I so I'm gonna feel like such a fool if that's false. So you've gone Number one benihana wins flying sizzling shrimp case. Yes. I said false. You went false. That is true And it's straight from the new york times. Wow. I am I'm here criticizing the journalistic integrity of new york times writers Like I would read it, but there was a paywall. Thanks paywall. Okay, the next one
Starting point is 01:28:48 Benihana chef wards off robber with knife skills. I said true report. Yeah, and I made that up No, so I'm already wrong Thanks deputies report. Did I was I at least right about tori spelling? Yes. Okay, number three after tori spelling sus benihana over burn Dangers of habachi grills revealed. You were right. This actually happened All right. Well, I don't get to pick But you do get to pick where you're gonna walk around and just sit at all their empty tables Where are we going? We need a heavy hitter And I think it would be hilarious to sit at 10 different empty tables. Yeah at a red lobster
Starting point is 01:29:31 Okay, I'm here for that. I can do a red lobster. You just got some lobster. So, uh, have some more Okay, cool. Well, we'll go to red lobster next week. That concludes this week's benihana episode So if you have ever worked at a red lobster, go ahead and send us Your craziest most interesting or heartwarming or whatever story that you have from your time there And if you want to watch the antics of garret sitting at all these tables because of the you must go Follow us on our social media at find dining podcast on instagram and tiktok You know email us whatever you want find dining podcast at gmail.com The search does in fact continue garret. We did not find it. We'll see you all next week. Have a fine day
Starting point is 01:30:28 Continues our journey did not conclude the mother and search continues writers and iTunes review And hey while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Follow us on tiktok The same on instagram all the socials At find dining podcast
Starting point is 01:31:00 We have a website find dining podcast dot com Buy our t-shirts Then put them on And don't forget you can always suggest where we go next Okay We're going to find it The media The search continues
Starting point is 01:31:31 See you next week Heard my throat a little have a fine day

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