Fine Dining - Literal Eternity at Benihana
Episode Date: March 15, 2023It takes 2 hours for Michael & Garrett to finally get food in front of them A child pyromaniac in this week's "What's Going On Over There?" segment The least charismatic hibachi chef ever Michael & G...arrett debate the merits of a restaurant having a minimum and maximum possible score before even walking in Wallace reviews Benihana's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB puts your customers to work We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!  Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!  Send us your Benihana stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.  Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast  Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!  Next time on Fine Dining: Red Lobster! If you have ever worked for Red Lobster and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of Red Lobster's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.
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Hello and welcome back to the fine dining podcast the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America
I'm your host Michael or Nellis and I'm your host Garrett's work
And we are on a mission to find you the most mediocre restaurant because we can because we want to because we're just
Okay as human beings and we think it's perfect
We do that based on a restaurant's atmosphere service and food and for those of you who have joined and started supporting our patreon
Huge. Thank you. We really appreciate it. We're making fun extra content for you. You can download our songs
We have a full hootable video episode you get to see how amazingly beautiful we are as men
Yeah, it's very entertaining and I know you know episode about Hooters
You just want to see two dudes cuz yeah, that's what Hooters is all about. Yeah
Well, there is also a photoshopped version of you as a Hooters girl in that episode. I look pretty good
And on top of that, there's a bonus episode every month. We've gone to Rudy's barbecue. We've gone to fud rockers this month
We're going to Portillo's famous Chicago hot dog and Italian beef chain
But that's not what we did this week. No, we went to Benny Hanna's Garrett. You pick this
I love teppanyaki style restaurants. Mmm. It is not a hibachi. This is a common misconception
Yeah, teppanyaki restaurants are restaurants based around a flat-top grill stainless steel
Yeah, all everything is cooked chopped on this grill. That is the key element of teppanyaki interesting and hibachi is
Meat cooked over really hot coals. Oh
So everyone uses the term hibachi for this and I have never actually heard hibachi used correctly
Yeah, I don't think I've had hibachi
I think there's a lot of confusion because some of the items are called hibachi steak or hibachi chicken
That makes sense. So like my best guess for that is they share like a seasoning style
I see type of food. So now, you know, this is
So it's a teppanyaki style place not a hibachi grill
But all of you are still gonna call it hibachi girls
I will probably still call it a hibachi girl moving forward because teppanyaki is
Harder to say or remember. I don't know. I'm white
I'm Asian but like not that type of Asian
Japanese am I allowed to continue talking can I respond to this? Sorry? Sorry guys. I'm not that type
That reminds me back in my childhood
I grew up in this small little town of three thousand one of the things I heard frequently was that like the kids
I think you put your eyes up put your eyes down the Chinese Japanese racial slur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got that a lot as a kid
I did not
Well this place was certainly a show. Yeah, it was built to be that way, but I
I
Mean our first impression should we just go into first impressions because they made me a little fussy
They made you they made us both a little bit fussy. I think for different reasons
Yeah, let's do some justice and play that song and then we'll do our first impressions. Let's do it
First impressions, okay, so our first impression of the place we we drive by
Parking lot is packed. So we have to park pretty far away. It's at a mall
We end up walking through the mall looking for the Benihana
There is no
Interior entrance inside the mall to this Benihana that is attached to said mall. I couldn't find it
We successfully made it to the food court. We did make it to a food court. We
You know looked around and we're like there's got to be like at least a sign
For like a two-story David Buster's in there, too
I'm really excited to try that out. Yeah. Yeah, and we walk out into the little courtyard
And the only way I'm able to find Benihana is because there's a big glass window at the top of the cheesecake factory
And the neon sign of Benihana is reflecting off of it
Ah, so I'm able to locate the backwards logo of Benihana off of a cheesecake factory walk around
And it's got like a kind of a nice ornate storefront with like a stylized Tori gate at the top and
We're looking at it. We're across the street taking our usual
Selfie that we take and then we notice the smell. There's like manure. Okay. I grew up in the country
It smells exactly like manure. It smelled like someone tracked something in on their shoe. Yeah, it smells like Bakersfield
Yeah, it wasn't pleasant now. I that's not a thing I hold against the restaurant. It is a mall
Yeah, you know, it's a public place. So I'm just outside of the restaurant's purview
We saw another thing. There was a work truck there
It looked like maybe a pipe fitter or some tradesman there
Yeah, my guess was to deal with that and fix that smell. Yeah
So I bet there was like a sewage pipe or something and this poor man was working after hours on a Sunday
So this dude's probably getting like triple time. Yeah, and we were very distracted. Yeah
His work truck had a flashing light on it. It was like a disco
Yeah, so it was like a dance club right outside the Benihana. It was so bright
It's like getting pulled over it felt like it was just like this light is just you can see it in every direction in like a
30 to 40 foot radius and like the music was the loudest outside
I actually saw like there was a group of maybe five six children
Starting a dance floor and dancing to the music with the light. Well in addition to that
I noticed a lot of groups. There were a lot of groups outside. Yeah, kids were like dancing to the light
You know light was just very pervasive kind of annoying, but again, it's outside the restaurant's control
So it's not a thing that factors into the restaurant for me
You could
From one part of the restaurant see out the window in the slashing light was still coming
I bet that was kind of annoying for that table. Yeah, but we went inside the lobby is packed
Outside the waiting area is packed. There's there's like a patio and it's just people
Everywhere now we're ten minutes early for a reservation
We made a reservation because we looked up all of their reviews were saying hey
You have to make a reservation and you're still gonna wait longer after that. I was like, yeah, to be what ten minutes
I can I can deal with that. It's fine. I get it. It was not just ten minutes
Oh, it wasn't we checked in eight minutes before the reservation
We did not end up being called to go to a table for an additional 54 minutes
so 46 minutes after the moment of the reservation we got a table and
The people watching that we got to experience everyone was coming up to the hosts
pissed off
Just in a mood feeling a kind of way
They've all waited and me watching on a little bit self-righteous in the sense of I am paying very close attention to what everyone who's
Complaining is saying their reservation time was because I'll be damned if anyone's gonna leapfrog me just because they complain
If the squeaky wheel gets the grease here
I would be ready to just jump in and squeak squeak away if anyone who is like
Oh, I had a 630 reservation and they get seated before it didn't happen mind you it didn't happen
But I was ready
I wish that would have happened
It was at least half an hour before the group that was seated got called up like you know
It's a lobby area
So there's a lot of standing room only and then there's like benches and stuff and boy are those benches primary
Alistate you want to sit when you're gonna be waiting for 45 minutes. Yeah, so we had to stand for you know
Oh while we didn't get to sit for at least like a half hour and actually hmm. I've got a grudge Garrett really Michael Chang
So they called out all right party for Michael and I was like
Finally and then two groups stand us and then this group that had the benches
And there's just a guy whose name was Michael who also stood and they seemed accommodating to him and not me
I was like what what I just asked you and you said I was next they were like
Oh, this is a different party for Michael. Yeah, this is from Michael Chang and now me
I was excited at this moment. Yeah, I didn't hear Michael Chang. I heard Michael Chae. I'm like, oh shit Michael Chays here
What yeah? Yeah, just Michael Chays slummin it at an Arcadia
California Benny Hanah, you never know. Yeah, it was it was a mess
It was a ridiculous amount of time to wait and the longer what 46 minutes past the reservation
Notice the fun thing too. So so many families were here. Yeah, and well if the parents are up fighting for reservations
Who's watching the kids? It's a mystery. No one's watching the kids. Yeah, they're just running amok
So the kids next to me. This is probably a teenage girl. Maybe like 12 13 14
I don't know like that. Yeah, and the boy. He's probably I like how you said teenage and then your first example was not a teenage number
I have no reference to the ages of kids or they all look the same. So like the boy was maybe six seven eight
I don't know. Yeah, so they're fighting out of nowhere. This child boy tells his older sister
You're a big slut. I have to do everything not to just bust out laughing. I didn't hear it
You told me you were giddy when it happened. You were like Michael
You want to hear what the youth of today is like?
The girl was like, don't you call me that I'll punch you in the face. Wow
I don't I don't want to see two children fighting that long into our way. I would have welcomed
Now the main thing we usually talk about during first impressions
I mean, this is all fair game what we're talking about so far
But kind of like the entryway decor they had a lot of like sake
Bottles and and like the nice like almost vase looking almost like a ceramic or like a pottery. Yeah
Yeah, and like some bonsai trees bonsai trees. It was a nice welcoming
Thematic area. I liked it. It made you think man. This is Japanese. That's the best way I can describe it
My first thought was Japanese
There's this one host who is wearing one glove like in a Michael Jackson II way
But also it was a like sanitary latex glove
But it was just one and he kept like putting it on his chest or something
Yeah, like holding his hand on his chest. I think that's just kind of like his default customer service posture is what I like
I don't think the glove had anything
I think it was the hand he used to handle menus
So he needs a glove to handle the menus that or he's needlessly paranoid like the menus didn't strike me is like dirty or anything
Of course, they're handled by a lot of people. So there probably are germs, but yeah
Yeah, this one gloved Michael Jackson host
He had what I assume were some of his friends walk in at one point they walked in he recognized them and he immediately just said no
Like exasperated just like no you I can't I can get you a water to go
But if you want a table you got to come back in like two and a half hours
Like he was firm with them and I this was another thing where like I was like perched up and ready to jump in like a
Like a tiger ready to pounce if any injustice was about to be done. I
Was ready to interject. I overheard some of their conversation. Yeah, and I thought
They were asking him to get them alcohol. That's what I heard
I didn't hear that but that also makes sense given their age and you know much like Hooters
They had big Healy energy
Yeah, they looked like the type of troublemaker who would swiftly skate away if the going got tough
They look like the type of kids that'll run from the party when the cops come
But they hide behind a tree like they don't try that hard. No, they're low effort troublemakers
Yeah, because they gave up on their search for beer or whatever pretty quickly. They left with their waters. They left with their waters
Yeah vodka waters
The main lady that I saw kind of chewing out the host group was a representative for a party of
13 and she seemed very displeased when she came up. It did sound like they had a reservation
So, you know, I do put this on the restaurant
But she was basically being told there's no way we can get you all together
And there's no guarantee that we can get you at tables near each other
Which if you made a reservation, that's a thing where they should have blocked off
You know a portion for them that is on them. Yeah
Now I'm saving the best thing for last as far as what's in this entrance way. There's a video crawl
Yes, there is and you know, it's like, you know come to Benihana try our lunch special. Yeah faster cheaper
Yeah, but that wasn't the star of the show
The star of this show was a be your own chef
And they basically just show like this clueless wine mom looking lady who's just standing in front of the Hibachi grill
How to flip an onion and it's the most
Arduously painful process I have ever seen. It's such a basic like yeah, this is how you flip something
I feel like this is how tongs work. I feel like this is your middle school home economics class
This is like it's that level. This is literally just someone be like, oh my god, should I know?
I'm so bad like getting up there and just stand like it's that vibe that energy
Oh, no, should I flip this with a butcher knife? Oh my gosh, that's not what it's for like it was such like tame
Fun like it was neutered fun in terms of like the vibe it was putting off
You just see like a teppanyaki chef standing behind her as she's like looking back like is this okay and all her friends are like
Oh, it's okay. Yeah, it's so funny to me because I read it completely differently like yeah
They're like this is a fun thing you can do but with how the experience went for us how it took a
Long time for anyone that worked in this restaurant to like show up for us
It kind of sounded like they're outsourcing like they're like
We kind of need you to be the chef because yours might be a while
And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor
Oh, hi there, it's your favorite sponsored job, but I am back with some brand new bullshit
Are you a restaurant? No, you're a person
But do you run a restaurant you keep finding that your employees aren't showing up for work or they're just too expensive
What with health insurance in 2023? No, thank you
I remember I used to just work for hot dogs back when I was a sort swallower at the circus
Which is ironic because that's probably the job where you most need health insurance and let's face facts
We know those hot dogs did way more damage to my insides than the swords ever could anyways
I've gotten sidetracked you should use the greatest untapped resource at your disposal the customers sure
They don't know what they're doing and they're liable to shut you down if even one person gets stabbed
But live a little put customers behind your grill if they don't like their food
It's their own fault. It's foolproof encourage them to do a little flippy do with the spatula and it reflects great on you
When they land it it's a win-win if this sounds right to you call me not with a phone
Just clink two Heineken's together underneath the bleachers at a co-ed beach volleyball game, and I'll find you. Oh, believe me
I will find you. Okay. Bye. I
Remember in college our Spanish club had a fundraiser and what did we do? We went to one of these teppanyaki places and worked the grills
Oh, you got to do it. I didn't do it
Oh, but the girl I was trying to get with at the time was doing it
Mm-hmm, and it was a freaking disaster. Yeah, like let's put a bunch of
Untrained college students on this grill this hot grill with sharp knives and let's see how the food looks
I mean, it gives you a new respect for the training involved
I guess for the prowess of the chefs. Oh, yeah, for sure
Those are skilled human beings and they go through. You know what you're gonna get into a lot about that
Why don't we just jump into it? Let's go into rusty fact roundup
You know how your mom said she just hates the whip sound. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got an idea for this episode
Oh God instead of whips, let's do gongs
That sounds not okay
Benny Hanna is a teppanyaki style restaurant that was founded in
1964 in San Francisco. No
New York City
Wrong coast, but no good guess. I would have guessed San Francisco, too
It was founded by Rocky Aoki
It's a cool sounding name. Yeah, I'm Rocky Aoki. His real first name is Hiroaki. Okay, Rocky from that makes sense
Yeah
So the startup cash came from earnings from operating an ice cream truck in Harlem
$10,000 from that and additional injection money from his parents the true American way
Yeah, I don't know how anyone starts businesses without generational wealth anymore anyway, sure America
The
Name Benny Hanna was named after his parents coffee shop
Which got its name from a red flower seen still surviving after the fire bombing of tokyo in 1945
Huh, that sounds like like a tragically beautiful homage. Yeah
Makes me feel bad
Currently there are 78 locations in 24 states
Okay, and also Panama Brazil El Salvador and Aruba probably like heavy tourist areas totally
Now let's talk about the man the myth and the legend
Rocky Aoki Rocky Aoki qualified for the 1960 Olympics in wrestling
Really? Yes. He was on japan's wrestling team. Uh-huh, but he didn't compete
The reasoning I found said he was too heavy. So that makes me think he missed weight man. That's sad
He
Ended up winning multiple wrestling titles in the u.s. Yeah, and was inducted into the national wrestling hall of fame in 1995
I like to think that he used all of the chef skills like the flipping and stuff like I want to I like to think that a suplex
Inspired the like shrimp office bachelor into the hat just like yeah
I'll just throw stuff around and catch it wherever that actually could be part of the truth wait really
When he started benihana, he didn't know how to cook at all. He had no cooking knowledge
So it was like what so it was all presentation. So it was like okay. So it was all sizzle no steak
This man is the ultimate performer. I like him
He also held the world record for the longest hot air balloon flight. He flew
5208 miles from japan to northern california and this record stood for like 30 years
Are you serious? Yes, this he's a renaissance man. He did a trans pacific hot air balloon ride, right? Yes
This dude is like why aren't there movies made about him? There's more
Is there a movie made about him? No not yet, but I think someday it's gonna happen. It's movie worthy. Okay
He also frequently competed in the cannon ball run
So the cannon ball run is a drive from new york city all the way out to redondo beach
Yeah, so the goal is get there as fast as possible. He did this almost every single year
Did he ever win? No, he never won. What's considered a fast time for that?
Do you have any idea? I don't know off the top of my head
But I do know it was set during the pandemic because the roads were empty because the roads were clear during the pandemic
A lot of people that did the cannon ball run took advantage of it and set just unbreakable times
So unless we have another pandemic or something this record's never gonna probably not gonna get tough
Yeah, I assume it has to be in a car. Yeah, it has to be in a car
But the thing they soup up their cars. They add extra gas tanks
The goal is for the car to be as inconspicuous as possible
But you have a bunch of your friends drive around scout for cops
Speed so the cops pull them over instead. Wow. So they're taking hits for people. Yeah. No, this is a whole team effort
That's cool. Okay. Wow. Rocky Aoki is a badass
He launched a pornographic magazine genesis in 1973. Oh classic Rocky Aoki
According to his own legend his second wife
Met his first wife while he was recovering in the hospital from a speed boating injury
I I assume the first wife was an ex-wife and this wasn't like a secret marriage situation, right?
The first wife became an ex-wife after this incident
Wait, so he did have two wives. He didn't have two wives. So he was cheating on his wife. So the lady who became his second wife
Okay, the lady who became his second wife
Model and actress Devon Aoki's mother
Met the first wife during this hospital stay and the jig was up after that. Yeah was caught
Soon after that he got divorced and he married his second wife and eventually divorced her too. Do you have a third wife?
Yeah, did he have a fourth wife? He died still married to the third wife. Okay
Sometime after his marriage to his third wife four of his children sued him to restructure the will
Ha they were sued him. Yes, they were concerned that this third wife was a gold digger
Uh-huh
So they were like, hey, we want the money when you die instead of her
I mean, isn't it his prerogative regard like can the law intervene and actually force you to restructure it any certain way?
Because I know there are places of like elder manipulation or something
Where you can get into the will but as far as just if he wants to give something to her versus
I don't know. I don't know. This is probably what the kids thought too. Yeah, who knows
He pleaded guilty to insider trading in 1999 and was fined five hundred thousand dollars
Later, he was asked. Why did you do something stupid for just he only ended up making about a half million dollars too
So he was asked. Why would you do something so stupid for so little money? His response was hey, I'm a risk taker
Yeah, that's apparent by his entire life
Yeah
That's enough about rocky. Yeah, we could talk all day about him
Sure
Do you want to know the secret ingredient at benihana that makes everything taste great garlic butter? Yeah, it's garlic butter
They put that shit on everything
One last thing the tables at benihana are most commonly designed for eight
Okay, so bring along a party of eight unless you want to dine with strangers
It'd be weird if you showed up with seven and they've still placed one, dude
Who goes to a benihana be like table for one?
Hey, that guy. Oh my gosh. I want to do that
But yeah, that's the rusty facts for the week that does it for this week's rusty fact roundup
Atmosphere
In case y'all have forgotten
It was 46 minutes passed our reservation before we finally got to pass through the threshold
Of the actual restaurant and that was after a michael fall start michael chang
I raised my fist at the sky to you michael che I raised my fist to you because that wasn't you there
all of garret's hopes and dreams were dashed when he didn't get to meet michael che on this night that he came into not expecting to
Meet michael che
So once we get through we're noticing
I don't know. What are you seeing? I mean the grills. Yeah, the industrial grade vent. It is packed
Fireballs. Yeah, literal fireballs just flying
Light japanese decor, I would say it was a very minimalist space
I would say it made you think of japanese architecture at least
I think it was like subliminally wanting you to think this is japanese using as little effort as possible
Yeah, they had one of those like room divider like foldy wooden
Maybe with like paper cherry blossom sort of decor on it beyond that there there didn't seem to be a ton
I mean a few more vases. They had a visible kitchen so you could see the sushi chefs going to town
Yeah, and I mean your table is also a visible kitchen almost
They're they're very transparent. Yeah about your food be prepared. They're transparent about everything except for their wait times
I
Heard a tambourine often. Oh, yeah, so they had a tambourine with their birthday song. Yeah, their birthday songs were abundant
there were
11 birthday songs that is insane from the time we came in
To the time we left which was an entire three hour period
It was a very long time, but still 11 birthdays and three hours. That's three to four
Yeah per hour. It's so many times to hear happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you
Something in japanese something in japanese and then and and then they're like tapping on a tambourine
They mumbled the japanese words so hard. Oh, yeah, there were not a lot of
Japanese employees. No, not at all. There were maybe a few just even asian employees, but it was a lot of whites
No, it was it was a lot of white people. There were you know, definitely seem to be some
Mexicans
So your people and your people my people and my people mexicans and white people
A lot of tambourine sounds to the point where you and I
We're about birthdays. Yeah, we're all about birthdays. We are always
Join in and we sing and by the end of it. I was going crazy. I was like, this is too many birthdays
You guys need to chill with the birthdays. This is way too much
Way too much
Enough with the tambourine. Okay enough. I'm already frustrated. I mean, I'm hangry. I told you you are I was hangry
I didn't eat the entire day. I expected to be seated at six o'clock
Maybe six ten and you know what the best thing to hear and be reminded of when you're hangry
What the passage of time? Yeah of another year another year
Another year just so many people aging. Yeah highlighting the fact that I'm aging and I can't get into the birthday spirit at this point
I'm just getting upset. I'm just like I even ordered sushi specifically
Specifically so that I wouldn't have to wait for it to be cooked
You could just bring it straight to me. I was like just get me something in front of me and even that took a really long time
Like from the
No, no, no, no, no. I'm I'm I'll I'll go into it on service
This is way too much and this is about the birthdays. The birthdays were way too much. Yeah
My favorite thing about the birthday thing
Seeing employees scramble for tambourines
I saw on a couple of occasions
employees with just a
very
Deliberate pace kind of just checking different nooks and crannies looking for tambourines and occasionally finding them
Oh, that makes sense. If you have the tambourine, you don't have to struggle through saying Japanese words
Oh, yeah, that's right. You can kind of cover up the noise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
It's like the fact that you're butchering a language
You can just cover it with with the jingles. Yeah, but yeah just seeing them
It almost felt like an easter egg hunt, but with tambourines
It smelled good in here
Once we got in and we got past the unpleasant smells of outside
It was delicious smelling inside the the entire rest of the meal like it set a stage
Now it was a stage where the performers arrived late
But it was still a stage being set or it was more like other stages being set all around us
But we don't get to experience the taste of the food. Yeah, we should have gone through the artist's website
But instead we got like third party tickets and now all of a sudden they're not scanning at the door and like
You got to call your bank and like do all this stuff and the booking fees the service fees
I know they oversell to they oversell you get bumped
It felt like we were showing up to a show but nothing was going smoothly, but ultimately we did make it in
Yeah, but we missed the opening act
That's what that's what this experience and a nutshell kind of felt like I mean we didn't miss the opening act
We did get a complete meal. I think just took a while toddler fights was the opening act
Toddler fights were the opening act. That's fair when you call your sister a slut and you're eight
What them's fighting?
What I will include an atmosphere is the people at the table with us
So we were seated with two other parties. There was
Presumably a couple across from us and there was a mom and it looked like her two daughters
Yeah, and the daughters they seemed to have a little bit of a disparity
The older daughter looked like she was probably like 14 or 15 the younger daughter looked like she was 9 10
Yeah, one was a teenager the other one looked like in elementary school or something
Yeah, and they seemed happy to be there. The mom seemed very annoyed
It had worn on her different people get affected by different things and I felt like you know when you see like
videos of psychological trials
And they're just like testing people in different specific ways to see what the human condition is
It felt like with the weight that every one of us experienced
It felt like we all went through something together
Like we didn't speak at all to that party the party across from us
We we talked to a little bit after dessert, but we were kind of sticking to ourselves
But I still felt this like kindred spirit
Bonding with the other groups at our table just because it's like we got through boot camp together
But boot camp was just an exorbitant weight. So you basically just described trauma bonding. Yeah
Exactly. We trauma bonded over this weight where I was just angry. I got blue balled by Michael Chang
And you know it built character. I guess I will say it built character for all of us
But this mom was at her breaking point. Oh, not only was it the weight she had to keep her daughter under control
Oh, yeah, first thing she does when she sits down
She takes the menu and touches it to the grill
And by the way, the host of that walked us to our table
The first thing they warned us was this thing is on it is hot
Don't touch it. So what does she do puts menu on there? Was it negligent or intentional? It was totally intentional
Was it I will say it's intentional because a little bit later. She had the kids menu crown thing
She also touched that to the grill intentionally intentionally right after her mother was like no, don't put things on the grill
It can start a fire. Oh
We've got a little fire starter in the house
This wasn't the last time she did this. Yeah time number three after her mom's already like there's enough of this
She puts her chopsticks right on the grill. Oh, you know would yeah, let's put kindling on this. Yeah, good idea
Uh, I gotta ask Garrett. What's going on over there?
What's going on over there Garrett?
I think this girl was trying to make smoke signals to alert the staff because it was taking so long
She's just like, you know what if words won't get through to you. Maybe my smoke signals will
Yeah, like that's I bet that's a very sophisticated kid who's like, oh, I'm an expert in smoke signals
I bet she just covered that in like her history class or something
Ah, and she's just like I want to apply this and see if this will draw them to me because nothing else is working
It also didn't work. Yeah, I think you're giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'm not this is a 2023 kid
Okay, this isn't a kid from when we were kids when we didn't know the world this girl
She's lived through a pandemic already. She has lived through a 46 minute wait already
This girl is ready to resort to extreme measures. I think she was trying to burn the place to the ground
I think she's like fuck this benihana. I'm taking it and all of you with me
That's just my theory, but I don't know I think that's what was going on over there
Now the mom of this girl almost left
Yes, like put on her leather jacket got up walk don't now if she's going to the bathroom
There's no reason she's putting her jacket on
Yeah, no, which like she had already gone to the bathroom when our server came over to take our order the bathroom counter
Oh, exactly got to do it. That's what they called you in high school. Garrett the bathroom counter slash the meat market's work
That was your name back in the day. Hey, that's where I sold it like you know this
Okay, no, I don't even I don't even want to go into the direction that this bit is going
I set up the deli counter tape right outside the bathroom door. So you take your number
There's an electronic number sign right over the sinks. You're selling bathroom meats. I hate this
Come into the bathroom and get your meat
It's a bathroom deli
The worst combination of words you could have said we can get away from this bit
We don't have to live in it right now. You're forcing me to live in this
But she put her jacket on and left she didn't put her jacket on the first time she went to the bathroom
I even heard her say this is taking too long
We're leaving and she puts on her jacket leaves her purse in her seat and just goes
The daughters don't react. No, they just stay there. It's like, oh mom's trying to fake leave again guys
They're used to this drill
She wasn't gone long enough to have like gone out to the car or anything like that
So I don't know what it is
But she came back right as the chef cart was kind of pulling up to our table
And she kind of begrudgingly looked and was like
Okay, fine, and she takes the jacket off and like crosses her arms and sits back down
But I felt like this experience broke her patience a little bit and she seemed to have a lot of patience
Oh, she did and you know, I don't think she was an unreasonable woman, but she was definitely at that
Exasperated point. Yeah, I'll say to her benefit. She was entertaining her daughter the entire time
Like she taught her daughter how to play hangman. Yeah, which I don't know
Was that like a subtle hint that she was just getting over this weight?
Whoa
Garrett
Yeah, you're already getting to the point where we're wanting to hang ourselves, but that's about service
We're not even in service yet. We're talking about the atmosphere and we got to give it a rating
What are you giving it?
I'll give this atmosphere zero thumbs up. It had a mild Japanese feel to it. I guess but
Overall, it did nothing positive nor negative for me. Yeah, I think I agree with that
The fireballs were impressive to see the other customers
Were kind of all over the place. It's like was there anything that really stood out? No, there wasn't the birthdays were too much
The grills were cool. So like yeah, everything had like a counterbalance
But the place looked more upscale than
You know a tgi fridays or something like that. It did look like it was classy presenting
Doesn't mean it was classy, but it was presenting classy
Like I guess benihana irons it slacks
Benihana irons it slacks. That's the best way to put it. I'm gonna go zero thumbs on this
But with the caveat that it is the closest you can get to one thumb up while still being zero thumbs
That is my opinion on benihana's atmosphere. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll be right back
Service
Garrett we've had a lot of service situations where we talk about just our server
And then we've had a lot of service situations where we talk about
Everyone involved and I think benihana is going to be one where we kind of got to talk about the team
Oh, of course we started off with hosts
We've already kind of talked about them one glove guy holding firm against his friends who are trying to get booze
I appreciate that. Yeah, and then we get taken to our table
We get taken to our table. We get pretty immediately like a server. Yeah, she's like hi
I'm so and so your other server is on break right now. So I'll be handling you
Yeah, and we're like is happening again
This is happening again
And then we sit and it's like another 45 minutes before there's any
Semblance of food. It's even longer than that before our chef shows up
So we're just kind of being like I feel like we're on life support
I feel like that's the best comparison. They're just trying to keep us like
Okay, we've moved them to a second location and that's all they did
It's just more waiting the biggest shortcoming of this benihana wasn't that we waited two hours. It was why have the reservation?
Yeah
So, you know that that's on them
It felt like they just they strung us along only to move us to make us feel like there's movement
But okay, what would you rather have? Well, that's the thing. I would I would rather have for two hours
Yeah, I don't want to wait longer in the waiting room
That's that's at this point. That's what it is. It has moved from lobby to waiting room
It felt like a hospital
It really is given my mindset. Yeah, you have but doctor's appointment
It'll be maybe 45 minutes to get in. Yeah, there's another 45 before the doctor comes in
It's I feel like it's exactly that procedure and you know what I even already had the wristband. Okay?
I made the reservation. Hey, I already put the gown on too. I was ready. Yeah
And we're still just sitting there with like the open back just
Just to the breeze. Yeah, we're on a cold doctor's table just like waiting and it's just like get to it
Come on. Give me the procedure already. It was so long and and our first waitress had no
Presentation to her. It was very much like she felt like a movie diner waitress. Yeah where it was just apathy
It was just apathy. That's all I was getting out of her. It was let's hear the orders. Let's hear them. Okay
Great. Oh, you're not ready yet. Uh like that kind of vibe. There was no intention behind her words
There was no urgency no heart no heart at all. She especially got annoyed after she asked
Hey, are there any allergies at this table and then you answer with one
It's as though she just wanted the answer to be no. Yeah, I have a carrot allergy. Okay. You asked me a question
I responded. Why are you so mad about it? She seemed upset because they pre-mixed the veggies that go into the fried rice
Which you and I differ on our opinions for I think if someone has a food allergy
There is nothing stopping someone in the back from prepping up a few extra vegetables. Yeah, it's a fussy little boy
Yeah, it's a fussy little boy. Baby. Yeah, it's a fussy little boy
Yeah, it's a fussy little boy
It takes a minute to chop up some veggies. I agree. I do agree with that
It doesn't take that long, but I also
Saw how busy they were overall and I could tell that they were just struggling to keep their mouth above water
So to speak that's not my problem. It's not your problem
But I understand and I've been on the opposite end when we've talked about pre-mixed food
When it comes to cheese like the the flout is at Chevy's
Those were a thing where I was really upset that they were clearly pre-mixed and just like I don't know with veggies
It seems very specific to be allergic to one of them
It is putting dairy in a mix of something a lot of people are lactose intolerant and they can handle the other stuff
You can handle veggies. You just can't handle this veggie
So it's kind of like because the division is within veggies themselves. That's where I feel like
I forgive the pre-mixture. You don't it, you know, it's going to affect our ratings differently
I actually in this case, I'm okay with the pre-mix of it. It makes sense to do
Yeah, but I'm not okay with the fact
They're not willing to take a minute out of their day and deal with someone's food allergy
I will say they do like have all the tools right there at the grill in front of them
To make things the way that you would need them. So
Yeah, they ended up just seeming annoyed. Yeah, and like mind you I'm being extra bitchy about this right now
For something I'll talk about later. Yeah, no, it is warranted because of what went down later
They did give you something with carrots. So first waitress after she knows I'm allergic to carrots literally the person you
Disclosed the allergy to she brings our salads and it's just covered with chopped carrots
There are more carrots in my salad bowl than anyone else at the table
It's a hit job. So I'm clearly seeing this
As a fuck you. Yeah, she knows there's no mistake. She I mean, I never I give people the benefit of the doubt
I never I never assume that it's that but I've read her tone throughout it. I'm she's not giving her the benefit of the doubt
Yeah, and she kind of gave like one of those half-assed like oh, well, you know
I can get you another one without carrots if you want and you're just like no, it's fine
So it's just kind of like I don't know. Why would you hand someone a bowl full of something?
They're allergic to after five already knowing five minutes after asking
Then she went away and we had our actual
Server who was very friendly. I liked her
Substantially more. Yeah, she had a good demeanor. You know, she was nice to us. She had a sense of urgency
She wanted to make sure everyone at the table was a little bit more, you know, my water ran out and she was like
Oh, do you want another bottle? I got like the sparkling water and you know, she she was on top of it
She's good. No complaints with her. No whatsoever
You go to these places for the performance
You want a shed like I said, we're on a stage, right? Yeah, we got into the concert
Now we want to see the show and imagine we got a cover band
We're just like, oh, did I accidentally just buy tickets to what I thought was the real band?
And then when I show up, it's like a bait and switch and then I go look at the poster for the concert
And I'm like, oh, that's a look alike
My favorite thing about the chef. Yeah, when he pelted the girl in the face with the corn
Oh, yeah, the little fire starter girl
She ordered a side order. Oh god. I want to talk about that. She ordered a side order of corn now the grill is
Kind of public domain. So they put all the meats out, right? They cook them all at once
And this entire thing is in a way communal
But obviously you have placed your specific order. So there are things that are for you
But your meal comes with stuff that you didn't order per se like I didn't order that salad
I didn't order the onion soup. I got them and they brought them to me and they were included
It's kind of like it goes from like a four to a like six or seven course meal
Yeah, I thought the corn was for everyone. I love corn. I've talked about this before
I'm a corn boy your eyes lit up when that corn came and the notion that it's being like
Covered in garlic butter. Oh, yeah, I'm just like I can't wait for this corn turns out the little girl ordered corn
She was the only one that ordered corn. You have to order corn on the side
So I got none of this corn and I was sad
But the chef, you know, he flipped he didn't do a lot of tricks
No, but the one trick he did do was getting the girl to try to catch a kernel of corn in her mouth
When he flips it and it just pelted her in right in the eye
And he was just like oh, okay
He just continued looking down the mom of this girl
I was ready for her to go off on the chef
But I think she was so exasperated by her daughter's fire starting that she almost like victim blamed like man
Well, that's what you get for trying to burn the place down. Yeah
But yeah, I thought it was just funny. He no sold it. He just made nothing of it
He just continued moving on with his day continued cooking didn't really look up
Honestly, I think that's maybe the best way to deal with hitting a child in the face with food
I mean, it's kind of like when a really young kid falls
You know your approach to them is like you're okay. You're fine. Hey, you're okay. Don't cry
And it's kind of like well like yeah, because kids will cry just because they think they're in pain
They're not really, you know, they'll fall and like look up and be like I fell and that's a
That's a traumatic thing, but it's like you're you're okay
So I feel like yeah, if you're around enough like parents of young kids
Like, you know, some of my friends have young kids if a kid falls
They kind of at this point treat it very similarly where it's just like, yeah, that's whatever. Yeah. Yeah, they'll cry it out
Yeah, fine dining party of two
See folks, that's how long it was that's how much of the episode you've been able to listen to
That's the amount of time we waited and we didn't have the entertainment of listening to ourselves
Actually, I mean we literally did we did but it's but we weren't on no, we weren't we were more just like annoyed
Michael Chang
The performance skills of our chef was just lacking
He didn't do a lot of tricks and I'm seeing other tables where like the guys flip and shrimp and do
Chef's having the back flipping some stuff and like this guy all he did was he made a fireball
Which that doesn't take effort that takes oil
That you know, that's all you got to do is just burn some onions kind of and then he had a little disco ball
Which to be fair I liked that was cool. He had like a little
Maybe four inch by two inch platform that had a miniature like two inch in diameter
Disco ball hanging on it and he just did something where he shut off the overhead lights above our table
And he pointed a green laser pointer into the disco ball and kind of just gave it a flick
And it just kind of created this disco steve oaky
Effect and I was just like okay guy. Yeah, that was cool. Okay. This is your move
This is the one that no one else is doing that said I would have rather him have better
Handling skills with like the spatula and the fork prong thing that he's like I wanted
I wanted those sorts of tricks and we didn't really get much in the way of that
Acrobatics. I want spatula action. Yeah, spaction. Spaction. I want spaction real bad
I also just have to mention at a place where we're doing fireballs
It does stand out that our chef looked like he had like some burn marks on his face
And if if that's what it was like what a dangerous profession
And then the guy who brought out our dessert the manager. So clear manager vibes. Yeah, I start talking to the guy
I don't expect him to answer any of these questions. Yeah, so I'm like, hey man
What happens when this catch is on fire? Have you ever seen it? Yeah, and he actually goes into a story about a grease fire
You're getting friendly with the guy and you're creating an environment where he feels safe with us
And he uses that to ask us a favor. He pulls out like an elastic lanyard like that's like on like a
You know, you pull it and it's a retractable. Yeah. Yeah
Like that kind of dumb thing
Pulls out a qr code and he asks us. Oh, can you leave a five star yelp review and he starts getting kind of pushy
Like he wants us to do it right there. I won't do it. I'm you know, I'm being I'm kind of just ignoring it
I'm not like flat out being like no, but it took so much in me to be like
Do you want me to just describe to you?
What my experience was tonight and you tell me if that was a five star experience to you
Like the amount of time I waited to get a table the amount of time we waited to get any food
The lackluster chef he wasn't awful, but like very lackluster
He was but I think he fulfilled all of the job requirements. He cooked the food
Appropriately safely it tasted good. That's not why we're here. I mean it is why we're here, but we're here for a show
Yeah, this guy did not give us the show that we came for true. He wasn't even close
He had one move. It was a green laser light inside of a disco ball
It was four seconds of enjoyment in like, I don't know 30 minutes of interaction and I'm just
This wasn't a five star experience
No
And I really wanted to tell him what happened like when a manager comes up to you and asks at a restaurant
You really should give an honest response. That's the only way but I just proved I didn't want the
I was in such a mental state where I'm like, I don't want to air my grievances on this guy
I just don't want to also. I just don't want to get like at a table with strangers
Like if it was just our table, that's maybe yeah, which by the way at this point
The mom had left with her daughters. They got out of there as soon as they had paid
They didn't even stick around for the dessert that was included in their meal
So they had clearly been there too long
Yeah, I don't know. I just don't like being put on the spot of like, hey
Could you do this? Could you do this now? Here? I'll give you the qr code so you can do it right now
There's a better way to do that like maybe ask us things first. Yeah, what'd you think but what could we do better?
Actually, hey to be fair
He did ask us how our meals were and what did we respond with it was good because that's the polite thing to do
He asked how the meal was he didn't ask how the experience was and I think that's the go-around
They know their food is pretty decent. Yeah, so the meal is going to be good
The meal is going to be the thing people talk about that gives him an in to go off of oh, you're you're giving me a positive answer
It does because he's not asking. Hey, tell me about your whole night. He's
You know, I get it. I get what he's trying to do, but I see through it
I see through it and I don't love it and
I didn't want the conflict. No, but it read as
I don't know just a certain way it read desperate it read a little desperate
But hey, I respect the man's hustle. I gotta give it to him. He tried. You know what I'm gonna give to him
What?
Not two thumbs down. I'm gonna give him one thumb down
For the service experience the nice waitress that we had saves this from a two thumbs down experience now
The host staff the chef the manager all of them factor into this thing
That I did not like
But I'm only gonna go one thumb down and that's my compromise. That's my compromise with this man putting in the hustle
That's my compromise with one of the servers being pretty kick-ass one thumb down
But next time I want a show
I want the show. Yeah, that's why you go there. Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with you there
I can't give this anything more than one thumb down. I'm purposefully given food. I'm allergic to yes
I'm reading that as a slight. I'm taking it as a slight. I don't view it as purposely
I'm reading this as personal
But still I'm not gonna knock it too much because I don't know for sure our chef was
Okay, yes our second server. She was very friendly and I wish we had her the entire time
Yes, the manager was like the most hustly war hammer player I have ever met a little bit too strong
No, he did come on strong
But he tried and I got to respect a man who he's literally doing this for his own paycheck
Like this affects his bonus. This affects his employment. So yeah, no, I get it. Hey, man, you're trying your best
So I'm going to go one thumb down instead of two thumbs down for trying to poison me
Munchkin menu musings
Hello, my name is Wallace and I'm five and a half years old
I am movie queen
But I had a kid's menu
There are only two activities
on the kids menu
What I love food to eat to choose to eat
I like coloring with the cap. I don't know how to do the other
time category
There are also a half monkey. I have human on the
menu
The menu becomes a
chef
hat
The hat made me feel cool. I looks like a chef
My sister was jealous
Then how cool I looked
Then I have crayon so
Articles gave me coloring pencils
I do see the menu is fun
I give it 10 thumbs up
Thank you very much
Food
We didn't get the show, but we did get the food. We ordered quite a few things
I got the first food of the table. I got a sushi sampler
It didn't look all that great much like when I cook very little effort seemed to go into the plating like the most credit
I can give them is that the pieces of sushi were parallel with each other
You know, there was like a little wasabi a little pickled ginger
It had tuna salmon snapper yellowtail and shrimp nigiri
Now I ate the salmon the tuna and the shrimp back to back to back and they were all delicious
Really good sushi. I threw some wasabi on each one
Love me some wasabi love a good kick the pickled ginger very fresh very good
Then I came down to the other two and I didn't I knew in the menu
It said snapper and yellowtail, but I like to eat stuff knowing what they are and I couldn't tell the difference
So I actually googled them to try and be like, can I tell from the taste because they look similar
Can I tell from the taste which is which and I had what I think was the snapper first and it was another really good
saying
You know everything so far is kind of tracking it like above eight. Wow. It's good sushi
Wow, and then I have the last piece the I think it was the yellowtail and it was just bland as bland can be
Five out of ten and I was just like the fact that I ended on the bad note
Was sad to me because this was a very good sushi sampler
Overall, I'm going to say an eight out of ten sushi platter
But but if you get it just expect that one of those five pieces not going to be very good
So it's Japanese roulette. It's Japanese roulette except you eat all of them regardless and it's fine
And from that point everything we ate was kind of shades of the same thing. We both got the course meal
Yes, and uh, so everyone gets the benihana onion soup the benihana salad
the hibachi shrimp appetizer the hibachi vegetables the mushrooms and the
rice and then you kind of
Customize what you want your main course to be and we made sure we upgraded the rice for fried rice. Yes
The hibachi chicken fried rice which is important to do then I ordered the hibachi steak and cold water lobster tail combo
And I just got the hibachi steak. Yes, and then my girlfriend who joined us got the rib eye steak
So where do we want to start? Why don't why don't we end on entrees? Yeah, and we'll go through all these common items
Let's start off with the salad. Oh, yeah
Okay, this salad that you didn't have because of the carrots. I did not try it. It was just half carrots
So I didn't even touch it. So I am going to rate this salad a zero out of 10 for trying to poison me
It's an na. It's an na. You didn't eat it. It's a trying to poison me
You don't know the head. I think she tried to poison me. Yes, you think wrong
I think wrong a lot of time. I know
They're not trying to poison you that said I did have the salad and the dressing had like a balloony aftertaste
two out of 10
Bad taste bad salad the dressing was not good
The ingredients were just meh two out of 10. Okay, you you missed nothing. You gave it a two. I can give it a zero
I ate it and I felt like they were trying to poison me
Then the benihana onion soup this was my first time having an onion-y soup
I you know, I have like onion in like stews and stuff like that
But as far as just being like a soup, I'm typically like, you know
Chicken and noodle type veggies all that but but usually not onion
I loved this soup. I had the aftertaste in my mouth of a blooming onion
I literally wrote down it tasted like I'm drinking a blooming onion
This was a nine out of ten soup for me. I don't know what it is about it
But I loved this this benihana onion soup. Okay. I did not
Yeah, it wasn't bad. I I'll say that it had a really subtle taste of caramelized onion
It was overall safe and non-offensive. Yeah, the onion flavor stayed on my tongue
So that plus the caramelization gave it like a little
Rich burnt taste to it. It was good, but I just it wasn't enough for me
Really, this was so flavorful to me. I feel like we had to have had from the same batch
Definitely, I'd be weird if we didn't this had the subtlety of a strong miso soup
To me balanced like that and me this wasn't that subtle
Kick me in the mouth with my soup. I got kicked. I got kicked, baby. I didn't at all my teeth are missing
I got kicked so hard. It was like meth to me that I was missing teeth. Oh, wow
I grew teeth from just being okay with it. It's that's how it works. Yeah
So you gave that nine out of ten nine out of ten
I'm gonna give it a six out of ten because it was good still good feel good, but yeah, I loved it
This is gonna be the beginning of a bunch of safe not offensive ratings from me
Disagree the hello from you the hibachi shrimp appetizer
Best shrimp I've had and it had like a delicious char to it
I really it was like three tiny pieces of shrimp and they were so good
I think I'm becoming a shrimp guy because between this and the hooters lemon pepper rub shrimps
I'm digging it man. I really like these. I also gave a nine out of ten to these. Wow
Yeah, again, I have a different opinion on these. Mm-hmm. These were safe
Non-offensive shrimp. They weren't overly fishy. I could taste the grilled nature of them
They were textually strong. It's just six and a half out of ten shrimp for me. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me
Yeah, I don't I don't know what it is. I mean, I don't because we typically have the same palette
I feel like you were hungrier though. You were hungry and wanting it more. I did I did
Yes, I did really wanted for Benny, but I don't think I don't think I was blind
I don't think I was just giving out points willy-nilly because of how hungry I was like
I did genuinely find it a delicious little shrimp. It makes sense
Neither one of us are saying you're saying it was great and you're saying it was good. It was good
Yeah, I just want more flavor to me. It was as flavorful as it could be coming from a grill
Yeah, so that's all I wanted out of it. I guess it was good. I like to think that that's the uh chemical process of fat browning
The malar reaction nerd. It's important for steak. So you get a good strong crisp crust to it
Now let's talk about the vegetables. They had hibachi vegetables
onion zucchini and mushrooms the onion had a really weird taste to me
I didn't enjoy the onion onions. Usually the slam dunk for me. I'm such an onion fan and the zucchini
Which I typically don't love. I thought was really good the mushrooms
I thought were really good. I give a seven out of ten just to the mushrooms alone
But overall for the whole vegetable package i'm going five and a half out of ten
Mostly because those onions just they had a weird aftertaste to me
And I think it's probably whatever they doused them in to make the definitely that I think for the onions
You might have gotten the doused one. I could taste it a little bit
But my problem with the onions. They seemed undercooked. There was too much crisp too much bitter to them
The mushrooms. Oh my god, weren't they good and buttery? Yeah, I don't like mushrooms that much though
Me neither. They were good mushrooms. Yeah, the zucchini
Garlicy again. Everything was just doused in garlic butter. It tasted wrong. Yeah fell apart though
Oh my my what I liked about it was that it had a good texture. Oh mine just was goo
Yeah, I guess there's a lot of variables when you're cooking on that grill in terms of like
Different hot tones. Yeah. So overall the vegetables are going to be a six and a half for me
Okay, they were good like everything so far has been good. Yeah, just good. Yeah
Well before we jump into entrees, let's talk about the rice despite the fact that we ate our entrees first
And I'm gonna say the rice coming out last was 100% my fault
I am not convinced, but you do have what I think is a sound
theory
So because I have a carrot allergy, they made sure to put no carrots on the grill
Until the end they just put them in a bowl in front of you and served it to you first
Yeah, exactly
But I understand for like food safety and stuff
They wanted to make sure that does make sense didn't touch the grill until all of my food was done
But yeah, like everything was done and then they put on the rice the the lady who left with her kids
They brought out a bowl of white rice at the very end after she had paid and she just kind of laughed
She was just like, huh and then left
Which was earned. Yeah, I feel like but yeah, the rice came out last
I liked it. You know, it's hard to go wrong with chicken fried rice
Seven out of ten. It wasn't perfect. The chicken flavor was probably a little bit on the saltier side for my tastes
But other than that
Solid package seven out of ten and for me solid rice
I did get the saltiness in the chicken too
But the overwhelming flavor that kind of weirded me out was pepper. This was the most peppery fried rice I have ever had
I actually yeah, I will say that as well a lot of pepper it weirded me out a little bit
But it was okay. See I'll put pepper on white rice. Oh, yeah, I don't mind it
But overall six and a half out of ten. It's this is my six and a half
Before people come after me, I do want to say I don't default to doing that. I just say
I will do it from time to time. It's not like that's the way Michael eats his rice
I don't want that to be on record. No, no
Okay, so let's go into the entrees. Hibachi steak, which we both got
Uh, what'd you think? I'll start this off by saying it tasted good. I enjoyed the flavor of the steak. It was very moist
buttery
Garlicy, it's almost as if I was having a piece of garlic bread made out of meat
That's exactly what this tasted like and I love garlic bread garlic bread's great
I'll have garlic bread for every single meal. Yeah, but this was a steak. I wanted some more char on it
I wanted more complexity to it
I wanted to taste even just the iron-rich nature of the meat
I wanted to taste that all I tasted was butter and garlic
Which so that was kind of one of the big things about this whole meal everything just had that
Under tone of not even under tone. It wasn't it wasn't the main flavor of butter and garlic
Yeah, which is a great flavor, but it didn't vary the stuff up enough
I'll give this steak again like everything else a six and a half out of ten
I am rating the flavor of this food as garlic butter
Everything tastes like garlic butter, which I enjoy but has diminishing returns when it's your home. That's all I'm getting
Yeah, for me the hibachi steak. It was good, but it wasn't rich enough
So I I took a few bites without the garlic, but like it was it had garlic butter on top
But I definitely am the type to not spread it like I don't want it all over everything
I don't want every bite to be that I like getting a bite that just tests meat on its own
It's kind of what I do with barbecue. I will always first bite have the meat without sauce
I felt like it just wasn't rich enough. I also went six and a half out of ten
But what I did try was the ribeye that my girlfriend ordered
It was
Very good eight out of ten. So just that little bit of texture. I got a nice fatty bite
Uh, it just melted. Okay. It was a much better steak. It's a more flavorful cut of it's a better cut
eight out of ten on that
And then I got the cold water lobster tail fell off the shell
I'm historically not a lobster guy, but I was like, you know what I want to get some lobster this day
This day. What what am I talking like? I want to get some lobster this day
I've been in a lobster mood lately
Mostly because I had it on my 21st birthday for the first time ate it and was like, well, this is underwhelming
I don't get the hype about lobster and then I kind of am like, well, it's an expensive thing
I'm not going to get it for a really long time. I don't need it. I find it overrated
Then I went out to a chinese restaurant that had like a lobster noodle dish and it was delicious
It was so good. So I was like, okay
Maybe I am a lobster guy and I just need it done well. So benihana seemed like the type of place
I'm like lobster plus garlic butter plus hibachi grill. That sounds good to me
So I got the lobster tail is good. It's good. Great texture
Again fell off the shell gave me like three
Nice big chunks of lobster. I'm gonna go eight and a half out of ten on the lobster. Okay, very solid
Creating a baseline for me for potential future lobster dishes
On this podcast. So eight and a half out of ten strong start for lobster
Overall on this food. I'm going two thumbs up. Wow
but
But much like with atmosphere how I gave it what I would specify is the best zero thumbs you can get
This is the lowest two thumbs up you could get
This is so close to one thumbs up just due to the lack of diversification and flavors
It's a lot of garlic butter the onions were kind of weird
I didn't like the order that things were served
But oh my gosh, I've given my rating and I haven't even factored in dessert
I got a chocolate ice cream. I got the rainbow sherbet. Let's talk about that real quick
But my thumb rating stands. I have nothing to say about the sherbet other than it was tart
Sweet everything I expected it to be freshly portioned. I had a bite of it. I liked it a small portion
I would have wanted more honestly
I thought it was a very healthy just cap off the meal sort of thing
I didn't want to go nuts when I saw the dessert menu here and saw that it was only ice cream
They had such a narrow dessert menu
It was literally ice cream and sherbet and it was like five flavors to choose from if that
so I got the chocolate you got the sherbet and
It just felt like here's a palate cleanser. Here's something sweet to go home with I liked it
I thought it was enough the chocolate ice cream for me probably like a seven and a half eight out of 10
I'll go six and a half out of 10 to keep this six and a half trend going it. It was good
It just didn't do anything. Yeah special for me
That's what I need to really pull something up into like a higher tooth um territory
So I'm gonna guess one come up for me. Yes overall this food was good
It was quality everything was very consistent
Everything was consistently flavored with garlic and butter and I like garlic and butter
I think
Benihana will be the bar for me for whether or not I'm giving two thumbs up to places on their food
Really?
I think if I think the food is better than benihana, they are safely a two thumbs up place if it's not as good
They're one for me. It's honestly a weak one
It's a weak one. Yeah. All right. I want variety
I want to taste different flavors when I bite into something. Yeah, don't just give me savory
Yeah, me something else what also helped is I had sushi sushi didn't have any of the garlic butter on it
I had chocolate ice cream
I don't know. I feel like I did get a variety of flavors
You know the stuff that came from the grill was
Shades of similar but even then the lobster had a standout from the ribeye, which was a standout from the hibachi steak
So, you know, I got variety
It was a lot of garlic butter, but I think I just whether it's the way I ordered or yeah
Loving that soup way more than you things just fell right for you
You got the food from probably the best parts of the grill whichever those may be
Sure, the heat was on point where your food was cooked. Sure. Yeah
We can only speculate but overall two thumbs up for me one thumbs up for you
We got to rate this place
But before that let's see what strangers have said about this place in our new segment yelp from strangers
We need a little yelp a little yelp a little yelp from strangers
A one star two star three star four by yelp
So give a little yelp a little yelp a little yelp from strangers
A little yelp a little yelp
Give us those complaints while you literally whine and die
Yelp
Okay, so this is yelp from strangers our new segment
You can check out the entire thing on our patreon
We'll be posting all five yelp reviews one at one two three four and five stars
From what people are saying about the benihana that we went to specifically the special one we went to yeah
I want to start us off garret
Three star review. I'm gonna take us right in the middle here for mediocrity. We're gonna go to that three star review
This is from ashley s 18 days ago food was good
However, at the end of our meal the manager came to our table and twisted our arms for a yelp review to raise their yelp rating
Sounds familiar
It was very unprofessional and he would not leave our table until we scanned the qr code and agreed to leave a good review
It was odd and I've never had an interaction with a manager like that three stars. I
I found that just
Keep talking to other people about other things and ignore and don't hold your phone up when he pulls out the retractable qr code scanner
But we're also really good at just talking
juries out
And they actually responded thank you for the constructive criticism and sorry we couldn't make it a five star experience
We'll use this as a learning experience as to how we can improve they didn't if you'd like to share further details
Yeah, that is actually funny to me that we're like, oh, we're sorry that asking you to leave a five star review
Well in a very pushy way
Didn't give you a five star experience
surprise
Yeah
two star review here's a fun one. Yeah, elizabeth c
two stars
two months ago
decent
Okay, so first off I ordered the lunch boat and I was very impressed with the lunch boat
Yeah, I want that too. Oh my gosh, that's american dining at its finest
I want to order a boat's worth of food and elizabeth c was very impressed with the boat theme thing
Uh-huh, but unfortunately her experience did get worse. Yeah, however, I was very disappointed with the soup and salad
It wasn't very delighting on my tongue
For starters, my friend almost choked
choked
choked
Choke I'm just reading this. This is what it says. That is literally the amount of times that she wrote choked
And three of them in all caps and then the last one just choked lowercase. I am absolutely sad for my friend
While I know this was not benny hanes fault
I was still very sad while we were singing psycho killer and eating the food is so good
That makes why I don't know the service was kind of slow. Sorry to say
But the show was so funny psycho killer cat. I for I for far far far far far far better
Run run run run run away
Wow garret, we're gonna get flagged because of copyright claims with how close that sounded to the original
That was outstanding. I do like that. They responded
But it was again very generic of just on behalf of our team
We would like to sincerely apologize for your recent visit with us and they're asking for feedback
But it's like one of those things where like what are you getting her friend almost choked
Yeah, like I don't know. How do you improve that?
Unless your friend almost choked from a flying shrimp off the hunker rail. Hey catch corn
If you'd like to hear the rest of our yelp from strangers segment go on over to our patreon
And we'll be posting all five of our favorite reviews there
You can find the link for that in the description of this episode or just go to patreon dot com slash fine dining podcast
Final rating
Okay, garret, we got to give a score to benihana. We got to put it up on the chachki of mediocrity
for those of you who are new here the chachki of mediocrity is our
Mega wall chachki that is just a hybrid of all the cheesy wall decor
You're going to find it all these chain restaurants balled up into one with a giant surfboard in the middle
That is a running tally zero to ten of all the restaurant scores that we have doled out so far
I'm curious. Where do you put garlic butter on the chachki of mediocrity if you're benihana literally everywhere
We need to know is benihana that perfect 5.00. Is it the elusive pinnacle of mediocrity?
Hey, it's pretty close for me. Is it? Yes. All right. Let's hear it. So the atmosphere was
Okay, it was safe. It was non-offensive. It made me think I was in a japanese restaurant
It succeeded in its main goal, but it did nothing special for me. So that was a zero-thumb atmosphere
Sounds like mediocrity the service we waited forever. They tried to poison me
Yeah, but hey at the end the manager showed some grit. He showed some hustle
What a go-getter. He showed some gumption. He showed some QR codes. Yes
Now this man like was annoying honestly, but I could tell he was trying really hard
His intentions were genuinely self-serving for his own bonus and it read through very clearly
So he saved it
He saved it. That is so funny to me because that's the thing I view negatively
I would have given two thumbs down, but hey one thumb down for that. Well, and we did have an actually good server
Yeah, that too. Yeah, the food was
Slightly above average garlic butter party
Garlic butter party is a party. I want 100 of the invitation. I'll take that if you're hosting a garlic butter party
This boy wants an invite. I'm checking my mail. I want to taste garlic butter and something else
Yeah, so that was only one thumb up sure overall
I'm going to give this a 5.07
Wow, that is close to the center. I looked back at my ratings
I gave waffle house a 5.09 and you would prefer waffle house to benihana
Overall, I would prefer our experience at waffle house complete with chaos
Vape man and amazing waffles every single time over in our weight
And thrown chairs by the way that meme that went viral of
The brawl that broke out at an austin waffle house where an employee one-handed dodged a chair away
That's the one. Yeah, we went to so I'd rather have that
Then an overly long wait where they try to poison me. Give me waffle house over benihana every single day
I understand the rationale, but boy are our scores different
And what I want to talk about right now is premise the premise of a benihana is a high promise
It is basically like you're going to come here. You're going to get a show
You're going to get a meal. You're going to get socialization amongst those around you
Which we talked to the couple that stuck around on the other side of the table afterward very nice
I really enjoyed, you know, just a couple minutes of interaction with them
I think just the idea of the place
Is romanticized in my mind to where much like how when we went to pizza hut
I said because it is kind of borderline a fast food restaurant
There is a cap on how high a pizza hut can perform
It's never going to be a 10 out of 10. You could go to the best pizza hut in the country
It's not scratching 10. It's not scratching nine. It's probably not scratching eight
Maybe if it's lucky we're looking at mid sevens. That's just the cap
Benihana
Conversely has a floor
I think the premise of a benihana is such that it just can't be lower than a six to me
barring
literal disaster
Well, our weight that's not disaster. Food allergies. These aren't these aren't for me. This is disaster
I've been talking about like we had to evacuate because of something like those are dining disasters
We experienced dining inconveniences. So to me eating a food that in that amount
I don't know. Maybe it could kill me. That sounds like a tiny disaster
You knew it was there and it was put right in front of me
I wasn't like as a direct response for me calling out their laziness and not dropping vegetables
It wasn't held to your face like chloroform
They didn't like come up from behind and like bowl of carrots you in the mouth
How do they know that if I'm near carrot, it's bad for me. They don't they don't but if I have the salad with carrot regardless
I'm a foot away from you like it's not that much closer
So they don't know that if carrots from my proximity would kill you putting it a little bit closer to you would probably do
Roughly the same. Yeah, just kind of like people's poison ivy. I allergies. Yes. I don't know
I just feel like a benihana
It just has a floor. I think that floor is probably about maybe a five and a half
And that's if you're going to like the worst benihana you could
I don't think we went to the worst benihana. You could I hated how long we waited
I hated the manager being pushy about the qr code review even though you liked it
But the quality of the food I thought I gave it a two thumbs up
It was a very weak two thumbs
But it's now the bar of two thumbs up dining for me the atmosphere
Like it was nice ish presenting
You kind of look at the details a little bit and you start to see some flaws
The service was the only place where the ball was really dropped
So I don't know man. Like I just I feel like
On paper a benihana is just gonna perform okay better than okay
Why does benihana get a floor? Why does pizza hut have a ceiling? It's just it's a it's a
Vibe
Established by a brand it's ingredients
Pizza hut has a ceiling because it's fast food pizza has ingredients cheaper ingredients. No, I think it's I think it's their aesthetic
It's their marketing
Like it's the package of a pizza hut
It's the fact that drive-through pizza huts exist it cheapens the experience a little bit
Benihana presents in a classy way at a gas station that doesn't cheapen the experience
Lubies which had a drive-through doesn't cheapen the experience because this benihana did not
Deliver to its fullest potential
But there are different score ranges that I think a place's potential allow it to fall between
I just want to know what is fancy about a benihana like I don't know what makes benihana nicer than old spaghetti factory
I think I think they're probably accurate comparisons honestly, and I think when you look at our old spaghetti factory rating
It's 6.26. It's not that far away from where I put benihana up a point seven differential an old spaghetti factory is
probably a
Good ish comparison. I mean, but I don't think an old spaghetti factory has a floor
I think it does. I think a lot of these places do I think a chili's has a ceiling
I think an outback has a ceiling and I think the outback that we went to performed pretty strongly
All things considered mostly, but like the best outback in the world. I'm probably not giving a 10 to I'm probably giving it an eight
Maybe maybe an eight and a half. So I don't think I think they could give us a 10. It's possible
I don't think the atmosphere will ever allow it to be a 10. Okay. I think the food
I think the service and the food I think at an outback
We're getting really philosophical in in the weeds here
But I think the food at an outback caps it like a nine for the whole meal, which is a very high rating
Service can always be a 10 or a zero regardless of where you go
Benihana has a baked in service element that isn't everywhere
Which is the chef the guy cooking in front of you putting on a little bit of a show
That in and of itself is a boon to the experience
Even if the guy that we got happened to be underwhelming. I wouldn't call him bad
Yeah, and like he was just I don't agree. It's a boon to the experience
I agree that it's part of the experience and then how well he does his job
Then affects the experience look at it this way the couple sitting across the table from me said that they literally like
This is the event for them. They do it like five times a year
They're like, it's worth the wait. Benihana feels like an ordeal
It's like it's a night out you get dressed up you go to the benihana
You know that you're gonna have a little bit of a wait, but they make it a show for you
They make it an experience and even though they kind of dropped the ball on that element for us
There's still a romanticism that I have with the idea of a benihana. No one is saying that about pizza hut
No one is no one is like, oh man. I can't wait. You know, I'm I'm I got date night at pizza hut
Not gonna lie
Given the pizza hut food we got when we went there. I'll take that over this every time
I thought this was good. And again, I had some better things than you did. Yeah, that almost sounds like I'm bragging like I had better
I did right and and that strength carries it there
But I think just on a premise level alone
I get excited at the idea of going to a teppanyaki grill. It excites me
Okay, I don't I don't I have no emotional attachment with this whatsoever. I mean, again, it personal bias
Of course that I mean, it's my rating. My rating is a 6.98. My floor is what it is
so
I don't know. I just think different places have floors and ceilings and
I rate accordingly
You may not I rate based on the experience you write based on what you feel
Yeah, and I mean I I am but the experience I had paints it within that window
There is like a preconceived window and then you go and you experience it and your window adjusts
Which mine did I thought there would be no way I'm going under a seven and a half
And and here I am going under seven and a half. So my window shifted
I think it's more of this was your opinion of benihana going in which I was familiar with the chain
Because I hadn't been
Uh, or I think I may have been once like it was maybe a romanticized idea of teppanyaki
But that's the I've never had that romanticized idea of the style of the restaurant, especially so when I think
Benihana, I think okay
So it's a corporate chain version of a teppanyaki restaurant
I'll say this which I have eaten at multiple ones that were like smaller mom and pop joints before if our chef
Had just crushed it on the performance
And our first server had been awesome
I'm looking at over nine. That's insane. Well, even over nine the rainforest cafe
And their food was not as good as this food. I would say oh my god
Their food blew this food away for me. I see I just and that's why there's two of us. Yeah, we're gonna have different thoughts
I'm gonna go 6.98. It's not an obscenely high rating. No, I think it's fair
It's a notch below where I had fud ruckers where if you listen to our february patreon exclusive episode
We went to the last fud ruckers in california
I enjoyed it quite a bit and I gave it the perfect 7.00
So this is just a notch below that for me
You and I
Very far apart on this were we're almost two full points apart on where we see benihana
But more importantly, where does it go when you average our ratings together?
6.03
Ha, this is outside the zone of mediocrity garret. That means you have to draw from the you must vote
You picked benihana. You need a punishment to enact at our next restaurant
What's it say you must take a seat at 10 different empty tables over the course of your meal
So is that like you're you're like scouting empty and over the course of the meal
So you can't do it like before we're seated. You have to wait for us to be seated
That makes sense and then look around for empty tables and so it's gotta be like you're playing tag
You're tagging the table. So I can't sit with other people and I can't sit on people
I think those are good rules to have
Uh, okay, I get it's it's good that it's clearly it has to be empty because you know me
I'm just gonna pull up a seat with a bunch of strangers. Yeah, I'm gonna make this a benihana experience
Okay, well we need to play a little game to determine where you're gonna be doing this garret
We need to play the headline game
The rules of the headline game are as follows
Garrett will present three headlines to michael that include this week's restaurant
They can be made up or they can be actual headlines
If michael can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake
He will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if garret stumps him, he'll select again
Are you ready to play fellas? I am ready. Thanks for asking. Okay, let's go. Let's do it
Benihana wins flying sizzling shrimp case
False
I don't even need to give a rationale, but you know what garret? I will flying and sizzling pick one
You know, I feel like a real journalist picks one if you made it up
I feel like you're going the extra adjective headline number two
Benihana chef wards off robber with knife skills deputies report
Why are you doing this for me? Why are you giving me ones that are
Ah
Man, I need to go back and just listen to all the headline games so I can figure out how you structure
Things I don't
No, I know but the the deputies report sounds like it could be the key ingredient that tips me off that you made it
Or it could be the reason why it's true. Huh, but I feel conceptually. It's good. I'm gonna say true
Okay, so third headline. Yeah after tori spelling sus benihana over burn
dangers of habachi grills revealed
I'm gonna say true on that one. I don't know why it just feels
Like it could be real. It feels like it could
Ah, I so I'm gonna feel like such a fool if that's false. So you've gone
Number one benihana wins flying sizzling shrimp case. Yes. I said false. You went false. That is true
And it's straight from the new york times. Wow. I am
I'm here criticizing the journalistic integrity of new york times writers
Like I would read it, but there was a paywall. Thanks paywall. Okay, the next one
Benihana chef wards off robber with knife skills. I said true report. Yeah, and I made that up
No, so I'm already wrong
Thanks deputies report. Did I was I at least right about tori spelling? Yes. Okay, number three after tori spelling sus benihana over burn
Dangers of habachi grills revealed. You were right. This actually happened
All right. Well, I don't get to pick
But you do get to pick where you're gonna walk around and just sit at all their empty tables
Where are we going? We need a heavy hitter
And I think it would be hilarious to sit at 10 different empty tables. Yeah at a red lobster
Okay, I'm here for that. I can do a red lobster. You just got some lobster. So, uh, have some more
Okay, cool. Well, we'll go to red lobster next week. That concludes this week's benihana episode
So if you have ever worked at a red lobster, go ahead and send us
Your craziest most interesting or heartwarming or whatever story that you have from your time there
And if you want to watch the antics of garret sitting at all these tables because of the you must go
Follow us on our social media at find dining podcast on instagram and tiktok
You know email us whatever you want find dining podcast at gmail.com
The search does in fact continue garret. We did not find it. We'll see you all next week. Have a fine day
Continues our journey did not conclude the mother and search continues
writers and iTunes
review
And hey while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars?
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And don't forget you can always suggest where we go next
Okay
We're going to find it
The media
The search continues
See you next week
Heard my throat a little have a fine day