Fine Dining - Shake Shack feat. Jen Kober (Stand-Up Comedian)

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

Septemburger 2024's final stop! I cap off a jetsetting Septemburger with the spot I barely had to go a mile to get to, Shake Shack. One of my go-tos in this this bracket, and I was graced with the presence of hilarious comedian Jen Kober The origins of the place were unclear at the time of filming, but I ultimately learned that the original Shake Shack was called I

On this week's delicious episode of the fine dining podcast. This week, I did go to Shake Shack. Your points of reference for what things taste like are like bed sheets, plastic, like a shower curtain. And if you think I haven't eaten all of these things, you're freaking wrong. From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. One of the eight restaurants in the September group tournament is going to win this championship belt and by win it, I mean, I'm going to keep it, but I'll put their logo on it. Fair enough.

This week, I did go to Shake Shack and with me, comedian, storytelling extraordinaire from the Bitchin' Over Biscuits podcast. She has a comedy special, No Flies on Me, that you can find at her website, jenkober.com. It is Jen Kober. Hello! Welcome to Fine Dining. Thank you for having me. I am stuffed like a tick.

I am so full. Yeah. This is, how many belches can we get up during this podcast, you think? Honestly, I'm gonna be suppressing my gases. I'm doing all I can do. I can't look, there's only so much control I have over all of my sphincters, so I apologize.

All of them. All of them, I don't know what's gonna happen. That's so inclusive. I've never eaten a full meal and then gotten on the micro, like you know what I Like, they're usually like, there's a lunch break. And then, you know, you have some time to kind of judge. We came straight here. We were like, let's go.

And now here we are. That is how I run my. And it's my operation. A tight ship. I yell a lot. It's hardcore. It's hardcore. Well, I'm so happy to have you. For those of you listening for the first time, this is going to be a normal episode

in the sense that I am gonna review Shake Shack the way that I review every other restaurant in this show. I'm looking for the perfect 5.00 dining experience out of 10, perfect mediocrity, the bad and the good, perfectly in balance. I like that. And we're trying to define that. And I do it based on three criteria.

I'm going to these restaurants, and we're looking at its atmosphere. We're looking at its service. And of course, we're looking at its food. Mmm. Yeah. We gotta do it. We gotta. Like, it's literally our duty. We have got to do it.

Fine dining party of two. Our table is finally ready. I want to just jump into Septemberger. Let's play the Septemberger theme song to close out this wonderful month as opposed to the normal show theme song. Hit it. Take burgers and tie one burger leaves Take a look at the menu, nothing but beef So fire up that grill and fry up your soul We're looking for something that's better than mediocre It's time for a burger in September

Yes, it's time for the test, there can only one victor A burger in September Yeah, we're looking for some perfection on the bun Just be the best burger that you can be Somewhere between heaven and ecstasy I can see that hunger is in your eyes You're going for glory with a side of fried It's Sussan Burger!

Aloha everyone. I eat it, it's September Girl! more matchups in September, girl over on my Patreon for free. Just go to patreon.com slash fine dining podcast, and I will post that on September 30th, that will be a free episode for all to enjoy. And we get to see who gets their logo added forever permanently to the side. Of the September girl championship belt. I hope to see you there. So Jen, you have some history with Shake Shack of your own, right? You've been to Shake Shack before.

Of course, yes, I have. Me and the Shake Shack is old friends. Yeah? Old friends. Do you have any like specific stories or incidents or is it just, it's just an old reliable? No, it's really good. It's one of those places, my wife has two kids

and one of them is gluten-free, has celiac and can't have gluten, and the other one has a dairy allergy. So it's very difficult for us to find places where we can all eat, because I love the gluten and the dairy, and not really willing to give them up if I don't have to. And Shake Shack is one of the very few places on this earth

that has non-contamination in their kitchen. They have like a method of how to do this. And so they can make gluten-free things and dairy-free things for everyone. And then I can get my drenched fries and my big high in gluten bun and I'm happy too. So it really is a place we go quite a lot with the kids. And I actually do like how when you're ordering,

it doesn't just say, I don't want sh**. It'll say like dairy-free and gluten-free, like in the menu. Yeah, they ask you about your allergies. There's just not a lot of places that do that, especially, you know, we're here in California. We're very lucky, but she and I live down in Baton Rouge when we're with the kids. Cause they live with their dad in Mississippi.

And so to find something in the South that is, they don't even know what gluten-free means. And they're like, dairy allergy, what you mean? Bread will kill you. What can you not have? They don't get it. And so, and there just aren't a lot of places that are accommodating.

So it's very lucky to have a chain that is so, I mean, it's pretty delicious for chain food. It was pretty good. And so, you know, to also have that, you know, and kids love junk food, right? Burgers and fries and shakes. Why is it just kids? Well, but I mean, just-

I love junk food, Jen. We could go to some vegan-y cafe, right? But kids aren't gonna like that. It's gonna be salads and things. I'm not gonna like it either, to be honest. I'll do it for future me. But for future me. But to be able to have burgers and fries and hot dogs

and chicken nuggets and all of the things, and for everybody to be able to get something is a big deal. So we eat there quite a lot. And then of course, they even have a plant-based shake. Oh, I didn't see that, but nice. It's there. Well, that's your history with Shake Shack. Do you want to hear the history of Shake Shack?

I kind of would. Yeah, awesome. Well, we're going to jump into this week's Eat Deets. Shake Shack started as a hot dog cart in Madison Square Park in 2001 as part of a public art fund project. The cart was a huge success and remained in the park for three years, eventually turning into a permanent food kiosk. So it was called Shake Shack even when they just sold burgers.

I mean, hot dogs. Yeah. So before there were burgers. So clearly, shakes were always the focus. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think it's just like this type of cuisine. To have a shake truck, I think is very, very ambitious, right? Like, especially during like ball season, that's it's hot.

Yeah. Let's let's keep dairy around in the sun. Let's put some ice cream out just in that outside part and see what it does. Maybe we give them a hot dog because they won't notice. Just drunk off of. Yeah, hot dog drunk. Pig intestine, yeah. In 2004, Shake Shack's first location opened, expanding its offerings to include burgers and fries

while continuing to serve the original hot dogs. And shakes. I feel like, why are we not focusing on, it's called Shake Shack, not Hot Dog Shack. So what Google told me is that in 2004, when they opened their first store, that's when they added shakes. You're telling me they called it Shake Shack

and what they served was hot dogs? Hot dogs. What? That doesn't even make sense. Editor's note, it was remarkably hard for me to find a straightforward answer to this, but ultimately what I arrived at is the original cart wasn't named Shake Shack, it was called I Heart Taxi. And they served only hot dogs, so they must have renamed to Shake Shack when they opened

the store and added shakes and burgers to the menu. A lot of the stuff I was finding called the original hot dog carts the Shake Shack hot dog cart. Shake Shacks offer unique menu items based on locations such as Key Lime Tart Concrete in West Palm Beach, Florida and the Green Chili Cheddar Shack in Colorado Springs. See those are lovely things. I didn't know what a concrete was either. A concrete being like a blizzard. Yes, it's a shake or an ice cream that has stuff in it. Stays with you. Yeah, it's got the blocks. Much like concrete, it hardens and sticks around.

Very appetizing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very appetizing. But when I saw that, because that's on the sign. So the first Shake Shack I ever saw was in Vegas. And because it's in a corner building, it says like, you know, shakes, burgers, fries, all the things. And then it says concretes around one of the sides. And I thought, Vegas, somebody must have been drunk when they made that sign. They don't have concrete at the Shake Shack.

And then you go in and then I got sure enough. Yes, they do. Your life changed. Exactly. For the tastier. Yeah. Shake Shack had some interesting tentative names listed on its firsthand written menu. This included ideas like Frosty Shake.

Seems contrived. How about something with the word hot dog in it, you morons? The Madison mixer. Uh-uh. Custard's first stand. Oh, that's kind of funny. They also considered adding a tuna burger and multiple types of donuts.

I am not down with the tuna burger. One of the shake flavors that they had as like a seasonal offering when we went today was like a strawberry donut shake. I have to say say that I've I don't know if you've ever had a what I like to call a nut burger but it is a burger that is on a donut I can't do them it's it's too I can't do it with you put the frosting on it but if you just take a donut oh sure warm it up and use that as the bun yeah it is quite delicious I can't take you putting the icing on it.

I hate the glaze. I hate the, like it makes your hands bad. It's difficult to eat that way for sure. And I just, I can't look at myself for a couple days post that. I'll tell you what I did, and this was a pandemic find. I put the donuts in the waffle maker and made waffles out of the donuts and then put the burger on that.

Dofus? Yeah, they were real. Or walnuts? I like food with the crevice in it, which is why I like Shake Shack fries, crinkle, that catches the ketchup. I like foods with a little dip. You want a little waffle.

Yeah, a little something, a little something to grab the condiment with. So a little pocket of food goodness. I'm looking for that. You like tactile, you like your food to be tools. Yeah, I like a food that is also a chevron. Yeah. The name Shake Shack was inspired

by the dance finale scene in the movie Grease, where a rocking shack is called the Shake Shack. You remember that part. You're the one that I want. You all the one, and they're going back and forth. It's called the Shake Shack. You remember that part? You're the one that I want. You are the one when they're going back and forth and they're the thing that they're on. It says shake down one side of the shack. I didn't even think of that. Oh, that's true.

There you go. Wow. OK, now I'm now I'm more on board with why it's called the Shake Shack. I thought maybe it was called the Shake Shack because it originated out here in their earthquakes, right? Little natural disaster. Natural disaster. Natural disaster. Look here.

Oh, look at that! He said. I sounded the alarm. He said the word. But they did originate in New York, not here. Well, you don't know how many fault lines are under New York. They haven't told us that yet.

That's true. Anyway, so you've triggered the secret menu mini game. The key word for today was disaster. Because, I mean, come on, Shake Shack. I mean, disaster. It makes sense. I'm with it, I'm with it. I'm gonna give us a category. We're gonna slingshot jokes back and forth.

These are play on words that fit within the category. And today it is disastrous restaurants. Examples being acid rain forest cafe, or 7-Eleven, never forget. That one made me laugh. Yeah, so I'm gonna put 60 seconds on the clock and we'll just go back and forth. But you at home, pick a winner between Jen and I.

Comment, tell us whose jokes you liked more, but more importantly, submit your own disastrous restaurant and I will pick my favorite and send you a fine dining t-shirt. The winner of last week's secret menu mini game comes from Tik TOK user. What's it to you with their submission for comedy restaurants. There's something about Marie calendars. Great job.

Go ahead, DM me at fine dining podcast on Instagram or tick tock or email me fine dining podcast at gmail.com and I will get you your shirt sent out. Everyone else better luck this time. I'll let you get us started in three, two, one. In and drought burger. I literally, I love that one. Yogurt Landslide.

That is a good one, that is a good one. Raising Hurricanes. Oh, okay, I like that. Flood Ruckers. What about Steak and Quake? Ruby Tuesday, September 11th, 2001. What is wrong with you? Are you denying that it was a disaster?

No, it was. Apple killer bees. I like that one. I've got Pandemic Donalds. Oh, that's a good one. I did Panda Extinction Express Waffle house fire. Oh, that's a good one pizza mudslide hut Like I'm gonna just set a disaster in between the two words because I felt like you would need a pizza hut to Shield yourself from the mudslide from Yes, from the mudslide.

That was my... Jen, Pizza Hut's not protecting you from shit. Alright, and that's time. That is the secret menu. Don't forget, comment yours below. I'll pick my favorite one and send you a fine dining t-shirt. Carla Lali Music, Shake Shack's first... Carla Lali Music, Shake Shack's first Carla Lali music,

Shake Shack's first general manager. That's just a person's name conducted taste tests of shack burgers and chocolate custard every day through 2004 and 2005. You're saying that a woman whose last name was music was conducting something. Is that what you just said? I mean, I didn't even do that. That was just there.

It was just there. It was there for the taking. That's like 700 burgers and chocolate custard. I mean, I'm not mad at her. Her gravestone probably says the last number on it is 2005. It probably is. No way. A frozen custard is so flippin good. Yeah. Long before the restaurant served breakfast at JFK Airport, they attempted to launch it at the original Madison Square Park shop,

but it didn't stick. Well, who the hell is eating breakfast at Madison Square Garden? What kind of life are you living that first thing in the morning, you're at Madison Square Garden? Look, I really want the best seats for the Knicks game. Let's get there at 7 a.m. let's do it. Oh, you want breakfast?

I feel like breakfast only works for those places in airports because you're there, you're right. And they don't ever have what they have. It's not like Shake Shack is serving burgers for breakfast. They've all got some sort of like they don't do it. Sausage sandwich. They still do offer the lunch items. They do. For those people that don't have dignity,

a 9 a.m. burger is a sad time. I think it's good. I like to get an egg on top of it and call it breakfast. Sure, no, look, it's tasty whenever, but like I've got a mirror to look into later. And if I don't like what I see. But I will say this, there are times when I've gotten a mirror to look into later. And if I don't like what I see. But I will say this, there are times when I've gotten on a plane at six o'clock in the morning,

knowing damn full well, I'm not gonna get another full meal until way later. So I will have a, or I'll get the burger and tuck it into my backpack and then wait till we're like nice and high in the air and whip out my nasty smelling onion burger and then just stink up the whole place. That's what I like. That keeps people from talking to you. Do you do Southwest?

I do Southwest. So my strategy in Southwest is to just look as stinky as possible so that if there's one middle seat that gets to be free for the whole flight, I want to be the person that people look at and be like, I don't want to sit next to him. I ask every time. Listen, all you have to do on a Southwest flight is cough or sneeze. You start coughing or sneezing, no one will sit next to you.

Ugh! There's also a trick you can do with your hoodie. I like to put my hoodie on my hand, over my hand. And so it looks like a person is sitting right here or in the middle seat. And then people just keep walking. They don't, and I asked before I get on the flight, is this completely full flight?

No, and they'll say, it's full. But are there any available seats? Yes, ma'am, there'll be like three empty seats. Great, one of them will be next to me. Dibs. Done. I'll do the work. I will manspread.

I will cough. I will do what I have to do. I've put a hoodie on my passenger seat and driven in the carpool lane before. Smart, smart. Look, they're not building a better mousetrap. I've put a hoodie on my passenger seat and driven in the carpool lane before. Smart, smart. Look, they're not building a better mousetrap, they're building a better mouse, right? Like, they're making us do the work.

We got this, we got this. Shake Shack promised to donate all profits to Madison Square Park, but was unable to for the first three years as they continued to lose money. I mean, restaurants take forever to become profitable. I'm sure that's true. Shake Shack spent $1 million testing fresh cut fries after criticism for using frozen ones.

That makes sense. You should be, if you're a restaurant, you should have fresh food. I agree with that. However, they returned to frozen fries due to fan preference and the practical issues with fresh fry preparation I will tell you I do not like the fresh fries That's what in-and-out does they take a whole potato right in front of you and they put it in that machine and they they just

Right, you see the fries fall down into the bowl. Then they take that to the fryer bullshit. Those fries are terrible They're awful. They do not taste good. I like how you're like frozen. I like how you're circumventing reviewing the food at Shake Shack by now just shitting on a different restaurants offerings, because that isn't against the rules that I've given you. I'm just saying it was not good. And we had fries today and tasty. If that's what frozen fries are, I'm OK with it. They didn't taste frozen.

That's the thing. I don't care how you do something as long long as it doesn't taste a certain way. I agree. Though I also will say that I prefer like an Eggo waffle to a fresh waffle. Get out of here. I know, I don't know what's wrong with me. I do like an Eggo, but like compared to like

a restaurant Belgian waffle with like whipped cream. Oh, see, I can't do that to me. That's a lot. A spicy shack sauce was developed for the chicken Shaq, but never used due to concerns about confusion with the original sauce. Instead, they perfected a buttermilk ranch sauce for the sandwich. Who's confused? You put the word spicy.

People get it. Well, it would be mean that they would have to put flavor in their shake sauce. Moving on. I don't want to do that. It would be mean that they would have to put flavor in their shake sauce. Moving on. Shake Shack's Cheeck Sauce recipe involves steeping onions and jalapenos in a combination of cream, white wine vinegar and white wine. You then strain it over grated American and cheddar.

This method ensures a smooth sauce. You're telling me there's onions and jalapenos in their Cheeck Sauce? I'm not mad about it. Why would you be? You can taste that there's onions and jalapenos in their chicken sauce? Uh-huh. I'm not mad about it. Why would you be? You can taste that there's something good in there. Yeah. I mean, the bad is the chicken.

A peanut butter bacon burger, a rare off-menu item, can be made by ordering a bacon hamburger and a side of peanut butter sauce. This combination has only been served twice in Shake Shack history. They have peanut butter sauce? Yeah. I think it's just peanut butter. Wow. That is very tasty. I first had that at a place in Orlando called, what was it called? Jungle something.

No, or maybe it was Rainforest Cafe. Anyway, they put peanut butter on the burger, and I'd never had such a thing. I've had it. I think it's a unique thing. It's definitely not a preference, but like. It brings out a certain flavor in the meat that's pleasing. Otherwise hidden.

Yeah. That's yummy. I also like a little jelly. I like a little balsamic strawberry jelly and peanut butter on my burger. But then you can't be putting other shit on there. It can't have onions and pickles and all that. It's just gotta be.

Do stuff that like complements that. Agreed. Yeah. Agreed. Shake Shack has an innovation kitchen located below their Varick Street location in Manhattan's West Village. I actually passed by it in an Uber when I was in New York a few months ago. Oh, nice.

I was like, oh. Was it marked? It literally said Shake Shack Innovation Kitchen. Oh, cool. So like. So we're going to get like all the trial stuff, yeah. And the space opened in 2018 to provide enough room for all the big ideas the team wanted to implement.

I hate that phrasing, that seems very corporate. It does, but when you're talking about burgers, I mean. Look, I'll give you the space you need, innovate away. I gotta be honest, I am surprised that this started in Manhattan. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. You're just not.

It's pretty flavorful for something that's. You're not a fan of New York food? Yankee based. Um, I mean, it's fine. I think of it as more upscale New York food, even though really it's pizza. Yeah. But, or Italian food, which is, can be upscale. Um, but I always, I But I always think of New York food

as maybe a little more, just a little more cheat sheet. And this seems pretty basic, but also not mad. Yeah. I, yeah, I was in New York for about a week in July and I had some really good meals. Maybe the best meal I had was a halal cart. Oh yeah. And it was a two hour wait.

What? The line was crazy, because the guy, the cashier, was literally, the word ogling doesn't do it justice. How, ooh? Like he was checking out every woman that both came through the line and walked by. To the point that when I was ordering from him,

he's literally just like looking over here and like, you know, he's tapping stuff on the thing. And I was like, you are slowing down this operation like crazy. The whole thing. But it was a cart called Adele's, A-D-E-L, past-re-V-S, and we got the chicken and lamb combo with their white and green sauce on

Spicy rice with french fries and all of it Was just like I think I would wait two hours again. I'd rather they get a different employee So it's processed in 45 minutes. There's a hot dog place in new york that I love called papaya king Never heard of it where they sell hot dogs and papaya juice, which sounds like insane combination. But somehow they go together and man, they would have given Shake Shack a run for their money. Really?

Yeah. Maybe that's why they started with the hot dogs. So the West Village Shack menu is unique and offers the newest items that the culinary team is testing using guest feedback to decide what will make it to menus across the country. So where is that? This is in New York City like West Village area. Alright. Yeah. The Shake Shack secret menu includes a protein style burger which replaces a bun with a lettuce wrap for a low-carb alternative. In-N-Out does

that too. Shake Shack also allows customers to order a quad burger featuring four burger patties stacked high with all the fixings. I love a quad stack. That's one of the things I do like about In-N-Out burger the most is because I feel like those burgers need more than one patty. I've never had more than a triple anywhere.

Really? Yeah. I had an eight by eight one time. It was pretty flipping good. To be fair, In-N-Out are thinner patties. Yes. But like the triple I had was Wendy's. I couldn't, yeah.

I could not eat it like a burger. I had to like take it apart. Yeah. But. To me that defeats the point. It does sometimes. Here's what I usually do with a burger. I usually take two or three bites of the whole thing.

So I taste all of the pieces together the way it was sort of meant to be consumed. Then I start taking it apart. I pull that top bun off. I wanna eat the pickles first. I wanna eat the onions. I wanna kind of scrape that top bun. Then I eat the top bun.

Then I eat the meat. Then my favorite part of a burger is the bottom bun where all the grease and juices and everything have soaked in. I love that scrape the top bun. Oh, yeah. Like just a knife of sauce in your mouth. Yep. Yep.

Or sometimes I'll just eat the inside part of that bun and leave the outer shell of it alone. I had one other guest on this show who just ate in a crazy way. He got the chicken bake from Costco. Uh-huh. And have you ever had that? Uh-uh. It's basically like a Hot Pocket type thing.

Got it. But he picked apart, like, he literally picked at it like a bird the entire time. And it was just like, the remnants of it was one of the most distra, it looked like a vulture had gotten to it. Well, that's, I do that with pizza too. I eat one or two slices as a slice.

Then I start taking all the toppings off, and what is left is a naked pizza. It's a... I don't know what it says about me. But it says something. I am uncomfortable, and I think... And I... If there is, like... If it comes out like,

oh, Jen Coburn murdered somebody, and they entered... Did she seem normal to you? No, the signs were there. like if it comes out like, oh, Jen Kober murdered somebody and they entered, did she seem normal to you? No, the signs were there. Like that need to dissect feels sociopathic to me. It's a little Hannibal Lecter. I'm not gonna lie. They also offer a dog friendly menu,

including items like the bag of bones, the Shackburger dog biscuits and the Puccini, which is a vanilla custard with dog biscuits. OK, now we're in California. Yeah, I will say that there are other places that offer things for the like. Starbucks has this little puppuccino, which is basically just a couple of cream, a couple of cream for your dog. And I had my dog on the road with me

and I was giving her one of the, like I'd get Starbucks every morning and she'd get a Puppuccino every morning. And if you give a dog whipped cream every morning, they will shit for six months straight. I was gonna say the diarrhea is gonna be insane. Six months before that dog had a solid poop again, six months, I'm not joking.

After two weeks of Puppuccinos, it was, I will never, ever, ever do that to a poor dog again. No pun intended, but woof. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to go through that. No. Shake Shack partnered with Brooklyn Brewery to create Shackmeister Ale and with Gotham Project to create Shack Wine in red, white, and rosé.

That tracks, that tracks. At some point, just stay in your lane. We don't need your sauce in every possible imaginable way. Well, I think it's probably because they were going, they wanted to serve beer and wine. Sure. And so they had to kind of come up with their own brand so that they weren't- A thing to get people in.

Yeah, so that they weren't sort of outsourcing that. You know what I mean? Licensing everything. If you make it, you get to keep all the money. Right, right, right. And how hard can it be to make beer and wine? Especially if you're partnering up with somebody that's already doing it.

Sure. Yeah, I get it. It's just like, I don't know if Wendy's was like, we got tequila now. I'd be like, what are you doing? No, but if Taco Bell said they had beer, I bet it would be a thing. Because you're? No, but if Taco Bell said they had beer, I bet it would be a thing

because you're already there wasted. Well, they also have the Taco Bell Cantina. Like there are Taco Bells that serve beer. That's true. I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah. So I wouldn't be upset with it. All the all the fast food places in Europe, there's red wine at McDonald's.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I bet it's not good. Here we shouldn't. We shouldn't allow people in McDonald's to be making decisions influenced by alcohol. We should not allow people at McDonald's in this country to do much of anything at all. We just shouldn't allow people at McDonald's. End of sentence. Full stop.

Full stop. Shake Shack offers a grilled sandwich, which involves grilling the buns on both sides before adding ensuring a perfectly melted and crispy result, okay great The Shake Shack team once tested a passion fruit shandy Created by combining the shake Meister ale with passion fruit lemonade now. They're just playing with stuff. Yeah Each Shake Shack location has unique design elements and menu items to reflect the local culture and community at the Las Vegas Shake Shack location has unique design elements and menu items to reflect the local culture and community. At the Las Vegas Shake Shack location, customers can order a beer float made with dark beer

and a scoop of frozen custard. That is absolutely true. I saw it there near the concrets. It always makes me laugh how they will incorporate booze into things like that, right? Like a beer float. Even if't even if you like beer. I want the root beer is what makes like it is that sweetness. Yeah. It doesn't get it. Yeah. And I don't like root beer.

Yeah. But a root beer. I like me some root beer. But it's interesting. I have drinks from like I associate them with certain restaurants. Like in and out, if I'm getting getting a drink root beer makes sense to me, right? But like a Wendy's I'm getting like a Dr. Pepper. I find the sprite at McDonald's you could fry chicken in it is so crackly. It's spicy. It's too much. When I'm at McDonald's I like that high C orange. orange. It tastes very familiar and kid-like to me. Though now they're serving Hawaiian Punch. Instead of the orange?

No, they have the Hi-C orange, but they're also serving a frozen Hawaiian Punch. Nothing tastes like being six years old to me like Hawaiian Punch. Yeah. Just fruit, juicy red Hawaiian Punch. To me, it is the orange that triggers that emotion for me. Yeah. It's so good. I triggers that emotion for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good, it's so good.

I agree with you on that. Yeah. But putting alcohol with ice cream. Yeah, you're trying a little too hard. I agree. And that'll do it for this week's Eat Deets. Every week on Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso, I invite an artist, writer, or politician

to come to the table and speak from the heart in ways you probably haven't heard from them before. In recent weeks, I sat with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Democratic strategist James Carville, director Richard Linklater, and musician and actor Maya Hawke. To hear those and more episodes of the show, listen on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

Be sure to open up your free iHeart app and search Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso. Hey there, fine dynamaniacs. If you like this show, I've got another show to recommend that I know you'll like called Candy is Dandy. It's the world's only podcast devoted entirely to reviewing candy. Each episode, they pick a different candy,

give its history, and then taste and review it on the air, very similar to how this show runs, but the candy version. They've covered heavy hitters and classics like M&Ms, to more obscure things like Albanese gummy bears and Boston baked beans. They've discovered the connection Butterfingers have to the atomic bomb. They had comedian and next season SNL writer Carl Tarton to discuss his love of peach rings. If you love candy, you're going to love this show. Find Candy is Dandy, the candy review podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. Atmosphere. We went into this restaurant.

We did. We can talk about what the environment of a Shake Shack is like. Tell the people at home who's never stepped foot in a Shake Shack, what's the vibe? What's it like? It's a little sterile. It's very clean. It's very, a lot of clean lines, a lot of metal, a lot of high ceilings. Yeah, there's a lot of like stainless steel.

There is a wooden wall with like peaceful hanging plants and all that. It felt like a therapist's waiting room. It kind of did. It kind of did. High ceilings, right? Some exposed ductwork. You said that phrase in the thing and I was like, you sound like someone who at the very least is friends with a contractor. I watch a lot of HGTV and And being from Louisiana, my house has been rebuilt from hurricanes like twice. You're like, trapped lighting. It was. There's trapped lighting.

It's all there, and they don't come to your table. They're not really out among you. It's a row of iPads. We're like, please check in at the doctor. So it's a little bit, to me, that's a little sterile. It's a little hands-off. I'm not even going to say it's a little bit too sterile. I'm gonna give it an award. I'm gonna give this week's

This Is Way Too Much award. Play the song. This is way too much. This is way too much. This is way too much. This is way too much. This is way too much. This is way too much.

To how sterile this place was. It was, I don't wanna go so far as to say it was creepy, but it was like... It seemed futuristic. It's like they definitely had some employees with OCD. Yes, absolutely. And they don't, they're not really encouraging the interaction, they're just not.

Every question you could possibly ask someone about their order is on an iPad. Yeah, and we'll get into that more in service. the interaction, they're just not. Every question you could possibly ask someone about their order is on an iPad. Yeah, and we'll get into that more in service. You just put in all of your specifics, you're gonna be fine. And it's just, yeah, it's just a row of iPads, a place where I guess you could go order in person.

Like you literally can order in person. Yes. But it is, by the layout, discouraged. Yes. Yeah, but just overall, the sterility was way too much. Yeah. So sterile, I think is a great way to describe it. There was like the music was all over the place. There was a moment where it was like, who's putting me in a mood? It was like, there was like sexy music going on. When you hear saxophone in a Shake Shack, and I'm just like, and the surfaces are really wiped down.

I was like, what happens after hours? Exactly. In this. It becomes a discotheque. Yeah. There, SpongeBob was on TV. Yes, SpongeBob was on one TV, basketball on the other. So really you're catching men and children,

all the same thing. Yeah, nothing for the ladies. Maybe the succulent wall. Yeah. Just stare at these plants. Yes. Hmm. So pretty. Yeah. There's really not a lot to talk about with the atmosphere of this place. I feel it's just... It was very... Look, there's a lot of natural light.

So that's nice. It's pleasant. Yeah. And it felt... It was very clean. There was no... Sometimes you go into some of these stores and you're like, okay, I can't sit there because they haven't wiped it down. Sure. I can't sit there. Nobody, you know, they kept up with it.

Somebody's clearly. Yeah. Busting the tables and wiping things down and whatever. So I appreciate that. And there's like a little separate alcove for getting your condiments, your ketchup, your water fountain drinks, stuff like that. But I'm not impressed by this layout, but I'm not like, it doesn't bug me at all.

It's just kind of like, yeah, sure, this is here. It's what you want in a fast food place, clean and not loud, not terribly annoying sound wise. Yes. So when I guess when I'm evaluating the atmosphere of this place, if someone's looking for a recommendation for like a nice place to go, Shake Shack's not it. It's not nice.

No, it's not two thumbs up. It's not one thumb up, but it is very neutral. I'm going to go two thumbs in the middle. Or I'm just going to go no thumbs, whatever, however you want to phrase it. I'm right in the middle on Shake Shack's atmosphere. How about you? Agreed. Agreed. It is not terrible. It is not great. It is just simply there. It exists.

It's the way I feel about Columbus, Ohio. It's not awful. It's not great. It's perfectly fine. You can exist there. Yes, you will get your room at the Hampton Inn and you will eat, you know. Continental breakfast. Yes, and you'll eat, you know, a continental breakfast.

Yes. And you'll be just fine. You'll be just fine. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I mean, it was quick, but that's it for the atmosphere. Yes. Service. Service. There. I mean, there's none to speak of. It's iPads. And they did have the audacity, at the end of it,

would you like to tip? And I always do because service workers, I just feel like I should. When that's it, when it's really just like, I'm on an iPad and you're back there making it, I really only do like 10%. And I did 10%. But they also say, like, this does go to the chefs as well.

And that's fine, but are you a chef if you're... Mm-hmm. I mean, I feel like that's a stretch. That's a stretch. Yes. And in California... You're making 15 an hour, yeah. Mm-hmm, yeah.

So... So let me perform the entirety of our service experience. Okay. Michael. And then a nod. Yes, and then she handed you. And then a slide. Handed you the tray.

And walked away. Pleasant. Perfectly nice. And everything we got came the way that we ordered it. We had put in a couple of modifications. Everything came out the exact right way, which I appreciate. Everything was, the shake was nice and cold

and presented pretty. The nuggets, even though we didn't eat those till last, stayed nice and hot and crispy and yummy. So I can't be mad about what they did, but you know. Like when I think of a place where you go for the service experience, I'm thinking of like a Masteros or like a really high end you're being tended to. Those are the service experiences where it's like, yes, please, absolutely. Um, or even when there's more types of employees that you interact with. Like when I went to rainforest cafe, there were people doing balloon animals.

And I consider that in the service category as well. So there's just so little face to face interaction that there's no way I can give this any thumbs up. Uh, before we go on to give our thumb ratings for service I do want to tell you about one little Interaction that I witnessed okay before like I went I went up to just grab ketchup the little dainty ketchup It's a little ketchup little ramekins. You came back with you I set him on the table like this and she was like Very lady like what you did. I appreciate it.

They're tiny. I like they're little. You can't hold them in a manly way. You can't. No, you can't. So I'm there doing the pump, filling up my catch ups. And I just overhear an employee with the like happiest tone of voice, say to another what looked like a customer, but the way he was hanging out made me think he was an

off-duty employee. He said, he's so cute, he doesn't have a tail. They cut it. That's all I was able to hear. And it's a little peculiar. Look, Jen, it makes me wonder a very specific question. It makes me wonder, what's going on over there? What's going on over there?

What's going on over there? Should I wear it? Should I dare? What is going on over there? Jen, what's going on over there? Who doesn't have a tail? Why'd they cut it? I don't, sometimes, okay,

there are dogs that you cut their tail. She didn't specify dog, I would assume. I would assume too, but I mean, the only other thing that I would speak of the tail of is like a lizard or something, because their tails grow back. Maybe it was, she was speaking of regenerative. Maybe that's like the new Shake Shack innovative kitchen. Where they're like, oh, what if we have a burger that when you take a bite, it grows back?

So they're like. What if we have a dish called snake snails and puppy dog tails, What do you think? And we serve it only on Halloween. Yeah. You know what? I was in a Chinese food restaurant one time in San Francisco. And while we were eating our egg rolls, we heard barking coming from the kitchen.

And I was like, not a fan. We have to go. Not a fan. I have to go. I would not like. I don't want, you don't want to hear any animal while you're eating dinner. Nope.

At all. Nope. I mean. Yeah. I don't even know what you do to sort of justify that in your head. I just, I was like, we're gonna go. Yeah.

Eat these egg rolls and work it out. Yeah. But this Shake Shack employee in particular, I do think you're onto something with like lizards or salamanders. I believe that we've actually figured out what the conversation was in terms of they're making regenerative burgers. Because if you just make one and you feed a customer for life, they could have also been talking about you can charge whatever their shrimp tails

that they cut off. I don't want seafood here. they cut off. I don't want seafood here. No. Fair enough. Yeah. Fair enough. But anyways, yeah, I think we figured it out. I think that is in fact,

what's going on over there. What's going on over there. What is going on over there? Again, I'm gonna go thumbs right in the middle because they were perfectly acceptable. Agreed. And somebody's cleaning off the tables and somebody's sweeping up the floors and like, because it all looks clean, that's all part of the service as well.

So I think that the like you said, not nothing to thumb up about, but nothing to thumb down. Yeah. So yeah, very, very neutral on on both where you're at and who's serving you. But now we can talk food. That's the best part. Food. Yummy. Let's that's the best part. Food. Yum, yummy. Let's talk about the first round burger. This is embroiled in bitter competition

and we got to see who advances to round two. And this match is such a layup. Shake Shack, the number one seed versus White Castle, the number eight seed. I went to White Castle last week and that slider was trash. It scored a 0.72. 0.72, that is a low bar to clear.

You probably would have done better buying you a box of White Castle burgers in the frozen section and making them yourself. That, the particular White Castle you went to. On the Vegas Strip. On the Vegas Strip. And I have done this research. It is the worst White Castle in the country.

Well, it is also the nearest White Castle in the country. I get it, I totally get it. I wish you had gone to the one on Western in Chicago. It's right by Marge's Candies. Unbelievably good, unbelievably good. And why, I know, I see that it's way at the end. But I tell you, when done correctly, a White Castle can be lovely.

And I've had White Castle in the Chicagoland area, and I still didn't love it, but I was a kid. My adult palate has not tasted in Midwestern White Castle. Now, have you gone Crystal? No, not yet. Crystal Burger, very similar to White Castle, but comes with mustard. Little sliders. Comes with mustard. It's real good.

So let's talk the first round burger. First round of September, it's your basic, it's your number one, please. I'll have the thing that you call your original burger. And at Shake Shack, it is the Shack Burger. This comes with tomatoes, this comes with lettuce, this comes with... Shack sauce. Shack sauce, and it's got like their crispy smash burger, you know, beef patty on it,

on a kind of a buttery potato bun. Yes, no pickles, no onions. No pickles, no onions. And I thought it was very pleasant. Now, I guess the way we put it is I got the luckier half. I thought mine was a little knobby. Either I had too many crunchy, edgy pieces, or you know how every once in a while

when you eat a burger, you get a little hoof. Like a cartilage or something? A little tendon in there or something. I did not find it to be flavorful at all. The meat patty was not very flavorful to me. The shakes, that shack sauce is trash to me. It is. Really? It tastes like I'm- Even on the burger

you felt that way. Yes. It tastes like I'm eating bedsheets. It doesn't taste- You did say sheets and I was like- It doesn't taste like anything. That's not a thing anyone's ever eaten. Is that what she said? Yes. And I clarified it.

You're like, yes, sheets. It's like when you eat a cake or a biscuit and you can taste the flour, right? To me in that shake, shack sauce, I felt like I could taste the... The problems. Yeah, whatever was making it so meh. Yeah.

I could taste that. So I didn't find that, and I'm not a lettuce and tomato person, so I took the lettuce and tomato off. I thought the... So it was really just bun and sauce for me. I'm kind of becoming a tomato person by like immersion therapy almost. Yeah. I used to really just bun and sauce for me. I'm kind of becoming a tomato person by like immersion therapy almost.

Yeah, I used to never get them on sandwiches or burgers or whatever. And now by nature of doing this tournament, I'm like, OK, I will get it. Other than I'm a no person. Look, September, it is just objectively a hamburger competition. I get it. I don't usually like I I love j*****s, but I do not usually put j*****s on my burgers at fast food places because I think the j*****s they use taste plasticky. It does, it's not like, you know, they're putting Tillamook on the burger at McDonald's. It's a piece of plastic.

Your points of reference for what things taste like are like bed sheets, plastic, like a shower curtain. And if you think I haven't eaten all of these things you're freaking wrong I have this comparison. No, I have logged this data. Yeah, I've put a lot of shit in my mouth So I thought this had a really crisp like I like the crisp edges of the smash burger I thought the lettuce was very fresh the tomato did add a flavor that I ended up liking So I went six point eight four on this burger. I would say it was decisively good. It's not great, but I thought it was good.

Yeah. I went triple fours. Yeah. 4.44. It was not quite mediocre to me. Hmm. It just wasn't. It was a little below.

Yeah. And that's fine. But at the end of the day, we are gonna average our scores together. And it does sound like it is going to beat a point seven two. Well, what wouldn't from White Castle? I could probably eat my shoe and it'd get higher than that. So with a five point six four, the Shack Burger advances Shake Shack

to the semifinals of September. Nice. Yeah. Nice. OK, moving away from burgers. Hot dog. Yeah. Nice. OK, moving away from burgers. Hot dog. Yeah. Look, this is just like a buttery bun, a crisp casing, butterflied down the middle. I put ketchup on mine. Did you put anything on yours?

I dipped it in the ketchup after a couple of bites because I wanted to taste the actual hot dog. It didn't need a condiment. It didn't need anything. A really great hot dog. I like actual hot dog. It didn't need a condiment. It didn't need anything. This was a really great hot dog. I like plain hot dogs. I like that feeling of like just the hot, juicy meat. Why does this sound sexual?

But you're taking it there. In the buns, the hot juicy meat in the buns. But it was, I love a good hot dog. I am a very big believer in the quarter pound big bite from the seven lemon. But this was way better. And I'll tell you- More delicious and-

I love me a hot dog holiday. Oh yeah. Fourth of July Memorial Day, Labor Day. Yep, yep. Well, because those hot dogs usually are char grilled. Now you can't get that everywhere. Mama char grills them, right? You get them off the barbecue pit

and they're like black on the outside. I love that. You go to the park and you like rent a thing or. Yes, that's real, real good. Or go to the beach. But for a fast food place hot dog. Cause I don't. This is up there. I love. I don't like Nathan's hot dogs

because I find the casing. I actually just had them and I liked them a lot. I find the casing to be too crisp. I would say this. I think I like them both differently, but I wouldn't say that Nathan's is better than this necessarily. No.

I prefer a Portillo's. I'm from Chicago. Right, no, I get it. Portillo's is my Mecca of fast food. I love Flukies. Haven't had it. In Chicago. Okay.

Real, real good. Yeah, but as far as this one goes, I gave it an eight out of 10. I did too. This is a fricking plain hot, I gave it an eight out of 10. I did too. This is a fricking plain hot dog. It was an eight out of 10 for sure. The only reason it didn't get more is because A, I like a poppy seed bun on my hot dog, right?

That'll knock you over the top. And I like a little bit of, maybe a little celery salt, maybe a little pickle spear. So you are closer to liking it Chicago style. Yeah, so a little bit more stuff on it, but for goodness sake, a plain hot dog. For the basics, they're doing it.

They are doing it. And you can tell that that's what they started with. When you told me that, it made sense, because that was a real good hot dog. Yeah, and I think it's always overlooked when people go to Shake Shack. They're like, I'll get the burger, I'll get the shake. Don't sleep on these hot dogs.

Nope, they're real good. And then with it on the side, we got crinkle cut fries. Always my favorite. Again, there's a groove in it. It catches the ketchup right. It was nice and crispy. It was, I like a little texture to my food. It was real good.

I liked these fries. I think they do have a quick drop off of like they're great when hot and they're're like, whatever, once they cool off. That's every fry. I don't agree. There are fries that like... What fry is good cold? What's funny is when I was about to like make that point, I was trying to think of an example and I couldn't.

So I do feel checkmated right now. They are like, it's like donuts. The minute they come out of the fryer, they are dying a fast death. That I disagree with. I think donuts, even when, I think in any form, I love a donut. I love it, but if you put it in that microwave for eight seconds, I've done this research, nine is too many and seven's not enough.

Eight seconds in a microwave, and it'll, or in an air fryer too, like a nice 30 seconds in an air fryer. Just because of the nature of what it is and because it usually has some sort of sweet something on it, a glaze or an icing or a fruit. If you can slightly caramelize that sugar. That's what I'm saying.

I like my donut a little warmed up, but cold donuts are good, cold fries are not. Yeah. I won't attempt to argue back because I had no counterpoint. I guess my counterpoint is I'll still eat them. But that's a reflection on my lack of self-control. That's a fair thing to say. And then also on the side we got chicken bites.

Great. Yeah, these were like just like the little, they were very similar to the Chick-fil-A presentation of nugget. Yes. So fresh. The breading on it was delightful. The breading was good, and they were still crispy. They were still crispy, but the breast

felt like quality meat. It felt like meat. I agree. I agree. It did not feel processed at all. It did not feel mass produced. I'm not saying it wasn't. I'm not saying it wasn't, but they fooled us.

Yeah. It tasted very fresh. Yeah. On those, I went 7.8 out of 10. So almost that 8, but not quite. I just find a chicken bite like that inherently kind of a dry food in general. Yes, I do wish that we had a better sauce,

because we had shack sauce to dip it in. We had the option. I would have gone honey mustard, but I yielded to you. So it was your mistake. We should have honey mustarded it. I thought the shack sauce was going to be like Raising Cane sauce, So it was your mistake. We should have honey mustarded it. I thought the Shack sauce was gonna be like Raising Cane sauce, because it's that same pretty pink color,

but they're not similar. I would have agreed with you, 7.8. 7.8. Done. All right, and then shakes. I got a cookies and cream shake, you got a chocolate shake. We seem to divert in our opinions on these. Well, when you read the recipe for the thing,

it was like what? One scoop of the custard. Sure, when you read the recipe for the thing, it was like, what, one scoop of the custard? Sure. Yeah. And like, milk and then two tablespoons of the... There was too much of the chocolate in mine. You said that they over-pumped, you felt. Yeah, it was chocolate forward. It was to the... You know when you make chocolate milk

with too much of the syrup? You can taste more of the syrup than you can of the milk. It was that. The balance of it was just a little off. Look, I still drank the whole freaking thing. I mean, it's not like it stopped me, but it was a little chocolate- I've never seen someone lick the bottom of a plastic cup, but you were just like,

have you ever seen a giraffe eat? Yes, I have. It's funny you say that, I do a whole bit in my act about how I'm a giraffe, For real? Because they have 14 inch tongues. It's a very lesbian animal to be. I'm just so happy. Honestly, I'm just amazed that that comparison that you do use came up. No, it did.

It's almost as if I teed you up, but I didn't. But you had no idea. I had no idea. But you had no idea. Do you have a rating for? I mean, it was a good solid six, right? I'd given it more. I like a little malt in my shake as well, I have to say.

So a little malt would have kicked it over the top for me. A little less chocolate. And the chocolate tasted like a dark chocolate, and I'm a milk chocolate girl. I'm a milk chocolate person, yeah. So it was a little, but super good. Yeah, it was a little. Yeah, but but still super good. Yeah, it's still a shake.

So I got the cookies and cream shake. This is my go to shake at Shake Shack. This is the thing that makes me crave Shake Shack. Whenever I'm in a Shake Shack mood, it's because of the shake. It has like the little I don't know if it's Oreo, but it just occasionally tastes like you get a very small chip of Oreo, and it just is a delight every time. This is an elite tier fast food milkshake.

I agree. I'm going 9.5 out of 10 on their cookies and cream shake. With whipped cream, ugh, so good. I think next time I go, I'm gonna try one of the fruity milkshakes. OK, I think that a peach. I would have been interested in trying the strawberry donut one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounded crazy.

Agreed, agreed. And I do like I do like a a shake that's not chocolate or vanilla. Like if you can write, there's like a like a peppermint cake or a salted caramel or a strawberry or something odd. I do like to taste those out. Yeah. Ice all ice cream is good to me. Like a salted caramel. A peppermint shake or a salted caramel or a strawberry or something odd. I do like to taste those out. Yeah.

All ice cream is good to me. Yeah, I feel you. Okay, well, overall on the food here, everything was neutral about the other elements, but I am gonna go two thumbs up on the food at Shake Shack. Absolutely. I mean, the food is why you go to Shake Shack. You're not going for the like-

The atmosphere or the service. God, that service, I just... The way they said Michael, when they slid that tray to me. You're not going for the like that service. I just. The way they said Michael, when they slid that tray to me, it had just like the right amount of confusion and confidence. That's a delicate dance. Yeah. No, the food was good. So the food was good.

So that's all the elements. We got to put all this together into a rating. But before we can do that, we've got a couple steps that we need to take. And the first step is we got to see what other people are saying about this Shake Shack. Okay. We got to bring other voices in. So we're going to head to Yelp

and see what other people are saying in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four, five, yeah. A little Yelp from Strangers A one star, two star, three star, four or five So get a little Yelp A little Yelp from Strangers A little Yelp, a little Yelp

Give us those complaints while you literally white and die Yelp! Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 star Yelp reviews of the very restaurant at which we dined. Jen, would you mind if I start us off? Get it going, brother. One star review. Alright, I am going to start in negativity. This is a one star review about Shake Shack from Serenity C

from Rio Grande, middle township in New Jersey. She has only written four Yelp reviews, and this was one of them. April 12th, 2023, one star, went here to use the bathroom, saw a padlock on it, and went up to security guard, hoping to have a friendly encounter. Nothing but dissatisfied because he was the most rude and vile man ever to acquaint with me. Acquaint with me? To acquaint with me, yes.

He basically told us to F off in all caps and shunned us out of the restaurant and laughed in our faces. Couldn't even order anything because of how rude he was to me and my boyfriend. I will never be coming here again. Never been in such a hostile environment just for asking to use the bathroom. Turns out not every security guard

is nice behind their smile. Which I like that because is that like a thing that society thinks that, oh, like security guards are so nice? I think there is a, yes, I think there is a thought among most of America that policemen are friendly and helpful. And they think a security guard is a policeman. By nature.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. He's probably just a... He's probably sick of people coming in there and shitting up the bathroom and then leaving without buying anything. Right, and a lot of the places it's like the bathroom code's on the receipt or something like that where it's like you buy something and then you can do it. Yeah, exactly. I agree.

Four Star Review All right, this is from April V of Reno, Nevada. She gives us a four star rating on April 28th of 2023, dessert and a show. I stayed the night in downtown Burbank and wanted something sweet after sitting in the car all day. Okay. Sitting in the car all day? Sometimes I like to sit in my car all day

and then go have a shake. Shake Shack has a delicious custard and you can choose chocolate and vanilla. We walked in, ordered from the kiosk and within minutes I had delicious, smooth, velvety custard. We sit down and observe a man who was lying down on his back, looking at the back of the television they have mounted on the wall. And after a few minutes he announces, get ready for this, and then proceeds to yell out, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Doesn't sound four stars to me so far. A few moments later one of the employees asked him to leave and escorted him to the door, LOL. The guy must have been on some kind of hallucinogens or something, but he was very entertaining while we had our dessert. Shake Shack is always a good idea. She did view that as a legitimate show. Yeah, dessert and a show. Dinner and a show.

Well, look, she'd been in her car all frickin' night, all day. She was actually the one hallucinating from heat stroke. Yes, she was really excited to see someone interacting with real life She's Louise You can go download our full Yelp from Strangers segment at our patreon The link for that is in the description of this episode or you can go to patreon.com slash fine dining podcast And we're now offering a one-week free trial

So what do you have to lose go Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks. Okay, Jen, before we give our ratings, this is your first time on the Fine Dining Podcast. You have not gone to the 80-ish restaurants that I've been to. My scale is a little bit more calibrated.

So I just wanna take a second and calibrate you. So we're gonna take a little stop at the calibration station. Okay, Jen. So to properly calibrate your scale, I need to know what's as far down and as far up as possible. The zero and the 10. The best restaurant experience you've ever had, the worst restaurant experience that you've ever had.

Just briefly, tell me about what they are. We'll start in negativity so that we can end on a positive note. What's the worst restaurant experience you've ever had that you would call a zero out of 10? It was a Denny's. You're not, that's not the first time that's been someone's answer. It was a Denny's and the eggs were runny, the bacon was burned.

The toast was only toasted on one side and buttered on the other. It was, it was just, everything was bad. And I will tell you this, nothing pisses me off worse than paying for bad food. And so when I was like, hey, this is really bad, they were like, we can make it again. And I'm like, you didn't make it right the first time. I'm not real convinced you're gonna do it right the second time.

Now that the restaurant's even bigger. I don't want you to just put more of this out. Yes, and it always, it also makes me laugh when they say, we're just gonna remake it. And you know they're just back there like picking off whatever the thing you said you didn't want is. So it's all, I never want to send anything back. I feel like that's a mistake. I just want you to take it off my bill.

You missed, and I just don't want to pay for it. I send stuff back if it has on it. Yes. And this is a melty thing. You can't just pick that off. So usually they have to remake it. And now do you tell them you have an allergy? Because that saying allergy usually gets them to really pay attention. I sometimes do. But if it's a thing that has butter, they'll be like, well, why can you have butter but not... Like, if they think it's a dairy problem,

it creates a contradiction. So I just have to tell them... I just say mind your fucking business. I'll beat your ass. But... ...but I mean, I feel whenever... Because I don't like tomatoes as a general rule. I find them to be snotty.

And so I will say, don't even let the tomatoes look at my plate. Right? And so when you say something that kind of makes it stand out. Turn them away. And so they can't say that they don't remember you saying no tomatoes because you even made a joke about it. You're like, if there's on this, I will move your family.

And my dad hates and my mother says to the waiter, when my father orders it without s***, she says, do not bring it with s***. If you bring it with s***, he will send it back. She like says that to the waiter in the moment for that. So, and then Denny's not known for being great. Attentive. But this was, excuse me, particularly bad, particularly bad.

Gotcha. And then you're 10. I ate at Stephanie Izzard's restaurant called Girl and the Goat. I've heard of this. It was un-freaking-believable. I ordered something that was a pig's face. It was like pig cheek and pig snout,

and it was served over some sort of It was like pig cheek and pig snout, and it was served over some sort of very creamy polenta, something or other. It didn't sound at all appetizing, and it was the best thing I've ever eaten. Really? So delicious. Okay. Unreal. And like great service, good vibes.

Great service, good vibe. It was in downtown Chicago. It's gorgeous. Yeah. Fantastic place. And I had some kind of crazy dessert there too. I believe it was called a hollow hollow. It was like a snow cone component to it. There was an ice cream component to it.

All kinds of fresh fruit, little tapioca boba things. It was just amazing, amazing. Nothing I would have ever put together or thought of or... I had foie gras flavored dip and dots at her place that she did at the end. It's a little much. Yeah, but it was amazing. It was like, I think that was the amuse-bouche.

It was like the one bite. And it was just like so... Like, oh my God, I would have never thought of this and how lovely. Yay. What a nice start to this. So just incredible. All right, you are calibrated.

You know where the bottom is. You know where the top is. Shake Shack's gonna be somewhere in between those things. So let's put it together into a final rating. Final rating. All things considered, it looked like we went the same thumb scores. The atmosphere in the service didn't move the needle one way or another. It was the food. Yes. And the food.

And the food was good. So I think that puts it at the very least a little above the middle point. Yes, and that's exactly where I put it. I gave it a 5.15. 5.15? 5.15, just a little bit over. It would have gotten a 5.2

if the air had been a little cooler. It was a little warm in there. Okay. I'll shoot gotten a 5.2 if the air had been a little cooler. It was a little warm in there. Okay. I'll shoot them a text. It could have been me eating was causing a lot of sweating. That could be part of the problem. Well, yeah, when you're giraffe-tonguing the bottom of your shake. Yes, as I was, ah. So, but it was a lovely lunch, you know, nothing awful about it,

nothing I'm gonna write to the company about, but also nothing I'm gonna write home about. So, that's pretty good. Can you imagine, literally, pulling out stationery and just journaling about your experience today and thinking that was worthy of sending to your home? But do you know? Like, just, they received this in the mail.

But there are, there are meals I've had that I would have done that for. Sure. Now I get you. I'm like, listen, if you save up your money, right. Do I don't care what you order. Yeah. Save up about 70 bucks, get an appetizer at this place. Yeah.

Expensive, but it's so good. I, when something it, I will pay anything for something really exquisitely good. Yeah. Right. If you're like, but this is a $50, you know, appetizer. I want to experience it. Exactly. I want a bite of it.

I got to taste it. So, uh, and then my score, my score is a little bit higher. I do think that in the realm of fast food, Shake Check is among the better options that you can get. Agreed. Yeah, I like it quite a bit. Of course, the dining experience relative to just the food they serve does leave something to be desired, which does prevent this from getting really high.

I have some fast food places that are seven to eight. Really? Yeah. See, I think if you're fast food, to me, you're not going to get above a six. Just by the nature of what you are. seven, eight, like. Really? Yeah. See, I think if you're fast food, to me, you're not gonna get above a six. Just by the nature of what you are. Good vibes, like great decor. Like Portillo's, they have 20s, 30s, 40s,

and 50s themed restaurants. And so like there is a consideration to the decor. The service. You mean like Rock and Roll McDonald's? Yeah. Or like how fun it is that they like call the orders out in like rhyme or whatever when they're. Right, okay. So like there's those things where it's like, even though you're fast food, Yeah, or like how fun it is that they like call the orders out in like rhyme or whatever when they're right.

So like there's those things where it's like even though you're fast food, you're putting effort into the atmosphere, the service and the food. So you can get a little bit higher up on that scale. Shake Shack does not reach that. I gave it a six point five five, which means that when we put it all together, Shake Shack goes up on the Chachki of mediocrity at drum roll. Five point eight five. Wow. That is very mediocre. There that is very mediocre.

Bam. Oh, look at that. Look at that. All right. Just below Bubba gump shrimp. Oh, see, I can't, I can't do that. All right. Just below Bubba Gump shrimp. See, I can't I can't do that. Yeah, it's very hard to eat seafood outside of Louisiana. That's I get it.

But what this all means, Shake Shack, while it goes on the Chachki of mediocrity is not the perfect five point double zero out of ten, which means it is definitively by being higher than that, better than mediocre. Better than mediocre. Better than mediocre. It's better than a cracker barrel. Somebody's gotta keep us living in the lap of mediocrity. I say that all the time.

Yeah, yeah, these restaurants, I would prefer to say that like, they keep us suckling at the teat of mediocrity. There you go. That just feels more nurturing, but also kind of accurate. I am never going to be upset by suckling at teats. That will not be me. Even me both.

So what this means is I didn't find the perfect middle, so I got to keep looking. And now that September-ger is over, I get to do a restaurant next week that is not a part of September. Oh wow I'm gonna go to the you must pull the you must pull is a bowl of restaurants that I draw from and it'll tell me where I must go next are you ready for this get deep in there so next week I will be going to... Well, all right, I guess...

I guess September is not over. I'm going to go to the first entrant into September 2025. I'm going all the way to North Carolina and hitting up... Cookout. Oh, wow. I've heard of that. Awesome. Well, Jen, thanks so much for coming out to eat with me, for coming on the podcast.

Thank you for having me. For doing all the things. Is there anything you want to plug? I hope people will check out my comedy special, No Flies on Me. It's available on my website, jenkoper.com. You can watch it in its entirety for free and see when I am heading to a venue near you this year.

And you can follow me on Instagram and Tik Tok at fine dining podcast. You're just at Jen Kober, right? At Jen Kober. You can find all of the things. jenkobber.com. There's a link to everything you could want to know about me. Perfect. And September is about to end, so make sure you head want to know about me. Perfect. And Septemberger is about to end, so make sure you head on over to my Patreon. It is free for the month of September. And on the 30th, you can hear the finals episode,

hear the semi-finals, hear the finals, hear who wins the Septemberger Championship belt. And if your bracket was correct, email me. You'll be put into that drawing for $500. Wow. 500 bucks just for listening to a few episodes of a fun poot, poot. Ha ha ha ha.

Of a fun food podcast. I love that. That's all you gotta do. Super fun. We didn't find the most mediocre restaurant in America. The search does in fact continue. We'll see you next week. Have a fine day.

Search continues. We still need you next week. Have a fine day. Search continues. We still need the perfect file. The search continues. Like and subscribe. The search continues. Our journey did not conclude. The mother-eating search continues. Raddison I-2's review.

And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars, huh? Come on. Follow us on TikTok, the same on Instagram. All the socials, at Find Dining Podcast we have a website FindDiningPodcast.com buy our t-shirts then put them on and don't forget you can always suggest where we go next okay we're going to find it mediocrity the search continues see you next week!