Fine Dining - The $100 Tip at Rainforest Cafe
Episode Date: December 7, 2022It's double date night at Rainforest Cafe Garrett inflates a gigantic pool toy at the table because of his You Must Bowl punishment Across the Sky podcast host Matt Holiner drops in to give a weathe...r forecast for the Rainforest...Cafe Michael gives $100 to a balloon animal maker JUB has his own special ways of keeping the animatronics in check 6 year-old Austin tells his favorite joke on the Rainforest Kids Menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Michael & Garrett hand out some high scores  Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!  Send us your Rainforest Cafe stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.  Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast  Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!  Next time on Fine Dining: Bob's Big Boy! If you have ever worked for Bob's Big Boy and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of the Bob's Big Boy kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, and welcome back to the fine dining podcast the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America
I'm your host Michael or Nellis, and I'm your host Garrett's work, and we are 10 episodes in yeah
We've made it 10 episodes in we are no closer to finding that perfectly mediocre place
But hey, we're not heavier than when we started. I'm
Literally from first episode you you are lighter than first episode. Yes. I think I am correct
You're correct
for those of you who are tuning in for the first time
Garrett and I are
Going to all the chain restaurants that you know and love and
Applebee's chilies
Yeah, the that list P. F. Chang's
Benihana will get to at some point grew up around these places were from the Midwest and this was
Fancy family dining for us and now that we've moved to the West Coast to Los Angeles
We've realized that these are kind of smack dab in the middle
But we still miss them being fancy. We miss going to these places
So we made a mission statement that we're gonna go to all of them and find yes
Which is the most mediocre the perfect
5.00 out of 10 the measuring stick against wish you can compare all other restaurants
So for example right now is it better than Olive Garden?
The closest thing we found a mediocre sitting at a five point one zero rating very very close
5.00 that we're looking for but almost perfectly adequate almost
But this week we decided to kind of dust off our childhood a little bit
Yeah, I've always had fond memories at this location. I've only been one time
I went in Las Vegas when I was maybe 10 or 11 years old it rocked. Yeah, I loved it as a kid
We went to rainforest cafe
The question is did we love this as adults you will find out soon, but just to go over our rating scale for you
We are evaluating all of these places
Based on their atmosphere their service and their food and we're gonna give those you know from two thumbs down to two thumbs up
Whatever all of those little sub ratings are gonna factor into the final score
We give it the end out of ten out of ten
And then we're gonna average together my score with Garrett score and that will be its final placement
What we're looking for to be five point zero zero out of ten if it deviates out of four to six
There is a consequence from the you must bowl as we call it if I chose a place that was very fancy or
Very crappy. It's kind of one of those things where it's like come on man. You should have known better
Why you wasting my time? We're looking for mediocrity, but you know what sometimes the answer to that question is
I just wanted good food or I wanted a yelp-worthy experience
But hey it creates entertainment and later on you'll see what I had to do with the rainforest cafe
Oh, yeah Garrett had a punishment because last week's pick
Scored outside of that four to six rain last week at Kukaku. It was the highest scoring restaurant
We have had to date
Our table is ready. Oh, but real quick
Before our table it won't our team was right. No, they're calling us
Okay, Garrett you go you go get the table. I just need to say yeah guys go to our website
www.finddiningpodcast.com and sign up for our five survival tips for casual dining
We wrote them all out. There's even a bonus tip on there
They will be emailed directly to you a nice little PDF that'll teach you how to maximize your experiences at these casual dining
establishments from two guys who
We're going to quite a few of them. Yeah, I'd like to think we are casual dining experts at this point
Oh, you're still here. All right. I'm gonna go get our table. Yeah, you do that. I'm here
I never left. I've been waiting for you to finish talking. The hostess is right there just staring at you
Your table is ready
Serving pancakes and rips I recommend the spaghetti we're here to satisfy not to impress
Your table is ready
Complementary butter and bread these walls have growth signs
Nick-knack cowboy hat good luck at autograph guitar some crap from your city
Behold the trash key of mediocrity
Just fine dining fine dining two ledgers on the sign are shining
Neil flickering irregular timing identify the perfect
First impressions
We haven't even parked yet before we get our first impression of the place neon sign ha ha only half
Illuminated the cafe is not there. The rainforest is lit up. Yeah rainforest took over overgrew the cafe
Honestly, that's a pretty apt description. It really is what happened when we walked in there was a fountain outside and
Fancy little wall with like rainforest cafes logo on it with and this is literally the location. We went to was in a mall
and
Outside the mall at the entrance where rainforest cafe was they had this nice logo wall with a fountain kind of
Fountain wall. You know what I'm talking about. This is a common element of rainforest cafe
I've seen this at another mall location in Michigan. Now the thing that
Immediately jumped out to me here is it's an okay backdrop for photos. We actually took a few photos there and
There was a couple you know those like moody couples you see fighting in public where like
One of the people isn't talking and they just kind of look like they're not making eye contact with their partner
And they're just kind of like they're just sulking staring straight at sulking is the word. I'm looking for and then the other one
Just babe. I love you like that kind of
of like, you know just coming back around and
You know said babe not responding to words of affection
there was one of those hanging out on the on the lip of this
and
They did not care at all that we were trying to get photos. So you can just see this woman behind me who had a
Bridge of the nose stud piercing through it that oh, oh, you know
It's something where I'm like hey your body your choice
But also if you're sulking and ruining my picture, it is the first thing I'm gonna notice to like point out about you
Just I'm just thinking of the pain of like literally going through the cartilage of your nose not just the skin
That's oh, and they also had like a stroller like there was a child
Just like kind of sitting there. Well, well while this couple was in a one-sided way trying to talk things out
And by the way the guy kept walking away frustrated that he wasn't making progress
That is a walk back and try again that kids can have a wonderful first memory at rainforest cafe
It just felt like such a trope
Seeing this couple. I was like I've seen this couple a million times and yet I've never met this couple. Oh
Look, we're inside a mall and immediately we can see the rainforest cafe
It has a pretty big footprint big store. Ooh big fountain with a massive crocodile or alligator in it
Yeah, and it looked like there was a I don't know how to describe what the like
Host not even like not the proper host stand, but like the person that was there like a big elephant head
Yes, it was like it seemed like a teacup from the teacup ride
Yeah, totally. It was like a double teacup elephant. Yeah, like I couldn't tell what what the
Presentation of it was but it was just kind of like she was in a big cup
Which was just very
interesting to me and
We walk up now mind you we drove really far to get here
90 minutes
Yeah, 90 minutes with not terrible traffic and we decided to make this a double date
So Garrett and I were both with with with a person
This is the with another way to say with another we brought our girl friends along human being
Are you trying to make this a gender-neutral experience? No, I don't know. I just thought it'd be funny
Yeah, so we wanted to see how good of a place rainforest cafe is for a double date and
We almost didn't get to find out. Yeah, we go up there and the hostess was like, oh, sorry
We've closed walk-in now. This is two hours eating before walk-in. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's no walk-ins
It's reservation only and we're over two hours out from closing time like they close at nine
I think we got there at six thirty five six forty ish, right? Yeah, so
Garrett
well actually before before that they did say there's open seating at the bar and
Just to paint a picture for you this bar area
Imagine you were invited to hang out on the porch of a party and there was a party going on through the window
And you had a perfect view of the party, but you weren't really able to interact with it
That's what this bar like all you got was party noise. Yes
Do you want to be allowed party porch? Do you want to be fun adjacent?
You can sit at the bar and we're just like wow
This is really gonna paint this experience in a certain way and it and it's on us
It's our bad plan. Yeah, not calling it. We should have we should have like especially making that far of a drive
We should have known better. So I did the thing. I told her hey
We're food reviewers and we are reviewing your restaurant tonight. What can you do for us?
I
Don't like that. I don't either. I don't like playing that card seated
And you weren't that much of a caring about it. No, but I
Actually, then you did just now
It's hard to know if the experience that we got was painted by this fact
But the amount of time the manager spent at our table really made me think they were trying. Yeah, it did
I'm glad you did it because it got us a table and it got us a fun table
We had to do it. We were right next to the animatronic elephant and luckily we were kind of out of the way
But yeah, we got to walk in and we got to there was literal no wait for seating then
Yeah, and the best part about where we were seated and I'll tell you just this detail before we jump into our discussion
On the atmosphere, which is what we actually see once we're seated
We were just out of the way enough for Garrett to comply with his you must bowl punishment
Which was if you were listening last week, he had to bring an inflatable flamingo pool toy
Inflated over the course of dinner and then wear it out of the restaurant and
What a fun addition to the night this was it was so much larger than I thought it would be and we were
Out of the way enough to wear
Genuinely, yeah, we didn't disrupt anybody with this Garrett got to look stupid. He got to be
inconvenienced by having this pool toy around him and
I don't think we I think we only improved other people's nights exactly many people looked over at us
It looked like they were smiling a smile. Yeah
even management, yeah
And it actually shaped our night in so many ways that you will find out over the course of this episode
And you can see all of the flamingo hijinks on our social media channels
That's right. We're on Instagram at fine dining podcast
We're on tiktok at fine dining podcast and you can email us whatever you want fine dining podcast at gmail.com
We might regret that but I don't know. Maybe we won't
Well, welcome to this week's rusty fact roundup
The first full rainforest cafe opened up in Minneapolis, Minnesota in
No, or else, but the Mall of America in 1994 and yeah, just biggest mall
Yeah attraction. Yeah. Yeah, okay, but that's not the fun part. It's a fun part the literal first rainforest cafe
opened up in
1989 in the actual rainforest no in the founders own home
That's psychotic. Yes
this madman
Literally brought waterfalls rock formations trees
So he's like a richie rich. Yeah, like right next to a McDonald's in his home
He is like a great for it to create proof of concept in his own home
So he brought in 250 pound tortoises real parrots a baboon a live baboon into his own home
That's awesome. Well, it's this guy is a madman
What happens when you have a bunch of live animals in your own home, they slaughter each other that that's a possibility you get meat to cook
You go bankrupt. It's expensive to cook baboon meat, right? It's not always ethically
It's acquiring it. That's the expensive part. Yeah, cooking it. You just sweet that under the rug a
Casino magnate
Invested one point two million dollars to open the first one. Yep in Mall of America. That's cool
There are only 21 rainforest cafe locations left open
Period, I did know that there was a YouTube video that went viral earlier this year of a guy who did a road trip to all
Rainforest cafe locations that I yeah, I went like it got really big this summer
And it was like while we were like kind of doing our proof of concept like early episodes of this podcast
And I was just like putting this guy stealing our yeah, this guy
Yeah, when we put the baboons in our home started recording. We're like, maybe something quieter
Maybe not baboons. It's at 21 down from 56. Wow. That's a big decline
That's actually way more than I would have thought I wouldn't have even thought that there were 56
Cities that like would be touristy enough to host one
I know we had a few in California like I'm honestly surprised that there's one in Ontario because Ontario does have a group like a really big mall
But that's kind of that is what Ontario is is it is that mall and a small airport?
Like the one that was at Disneyland made sense and that one's gone now one is gone
Yeah, the Disney world is still there though that location. How many are in Florida? I know just one. Oh, yeah
One of the reasons we wanted to do rainforest cafe early enough was out of fear that the one location close to us would close
Is honestly, I think gonna be a driving factor for a lot of
Yeah
That's been your rusty fact roundup for the week
Atmosphere
Lots going on lots of cool stuff going on as we said we're seated right next to the animatronic elephant
Yeah, this is huge. I didn't notice it was moving until it was nudging your yeah
Flamingo you're inflatable at some point. I stood up. I had successfully inflated the flamingo by getting pushed
I'm like, who's touching my flamingo? It's the elephant. Yeah. Yeah, it was really cool
so
what I expected from this experience was you go to a place where you went as a kid and
You kind of have these these neat memories of it
But you don't actually get that magic recreated
Yeah, same thing like I
Tempered my expectations going in. Yeah, because things are always better when you're a kid
Things are better when you don't have to work for a living. There are things I vividly remember being awesome as a kid
But part of the reason is because you're a literal small human being so everything is grander
You know from a from a yeah portion standpoint, right?
And then you go as an adult and you're like, oh, that's all it was but this was just as great
Really cool other animatronics that I noticed they had butterflies with like flapping wings like extra-large butterflies
I saw a Jaguar
Jet Jaguar Jaguar. How do you say that word Jaguar Jaguar? Okay, yeah water. Yeah, how do I hog water?
I saw the gorilla on the other side of the room that because other people were eating underneath it
I didn't want to like
Go stand right by them. Were there any others? Oh, I was the alligator hanging chimpanzees hanging chimpanzees
There were some birds like toucans and stuff like that. They all looked really well done really neat
I they were a very positive part of the decor. I think oh, yeah, I do worry
What would happen if they got out of control though? Oh, you know what? I'm not worried
I trust that rainforest cafe has a solution in mind
And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh
Hello there, it's your favorite sponsor job, and I am back with a brand new job
I had to stop the last one because turns out if you fall over while giving someone a piggyback ride and you break the tibia
How do you owe them money? I don't like that
But what I do like is making sure these animatronics don't get out of control leave it to me
I have single-handedly broken every electronic I've ever come into contact with that 2k and eyeball in your pasta
I a little bit too aggressively. I'll pluck his beak right off and he'll be cracking in a weird way
That elephant nudging you while you're eating a dessert that has literal sparklers in it
I'll drop kick him in the tusk and make him into a sparkler
All I got to do is walk around with a tranquilizer gun and a picture full of water that I'm willing to throw on any monkey
That's going bananas
That's the sound it'll be making and Peter ain't got nothing on me cuz they ain't real animals
If you're feeling unsafe in a rainforest cafe
All you got to do is pull out your phone put it back in your pocket and call my name out because I don't have a phone number
Jump will keep you safe. You'll owe me a favor that I will cash in eventually, but that's okay
I'll probably just ask you to help me sell my homemade mouthwash at the farmers market. Call me jump JUB. I will protect you
Okay, bye
The animatronics were great. I'm a big nerd for like effects and stuff
I like horror movies and I love practical effects. I'm seeing how that stuff is done
There's a small fog machine by us, too. There was
Well, actually there was one element of the atmosphere. I thought was really
Just underwhelming
The thunderstorms. Okay, so every half hour there is a full thunderstorm with light sound vibration
monkey noises
You know like a storm. Yeah, no monkey noises. Yeah, that's a common element doesn't matter where you are
I don't know. I liked this. It was a good way to time out. Oh a half hour has passed
Yeah, sure, but I mean, I don't know that it had been built up to me when I when I told some friends that we were going to
Rainforest cafe a couple days in advance. They were like, oh, they do the rainstorm every so often and I was like, oh
yeah, I don't really remember that but that's cool and
The first one that happened I didn't even clock it as like, oh, that's what that was supposed to be like it was it
It underwhelmed me that much
Hello, everyone meteorologist Matt Hollander here from the across the sky weather podcast
I'm taking a break from my normal duties covering weather across the Midwest to bring you a special update on the rainforest cafe
Now they don't call it a rainforest
Cafe for nothing this place gets about a hundred and eight inches of rain a year. That's nine feet
So yes, it rains a lot, but I'm here today because of what's coming something truly
Exceptional we're talking about a storm event the likes of which hasn't been seen in decades
All the ingredients are coming together
We've got an area of low pressure that's getting stronger by the minute and it's moving in a fast and it's going to be right
Into an extremely humid environment
Not only are the dew points off the charts at the surface
But we've got a deep layer of moisture reaching high up into the atmosphere
When that low meets this humid air mass, we're going to see explosive
Thunderstorm development. We're talking about widespread heavy rain
Frequent cloud-to-ground lightning and strong winds to go along with it folks
You're not going to want to be anywhere near these storms when they start. This is a dangerous situation and wait
It's happening. The low is moving in everyone take cover now
Huh? Well, that was
Surprising it looks like the low underwent rapid weakening
Huh? Well, I was okay for now
That crunch the numbers a little bit more and see what happened here
But let me be clear there's still the potential for something big of another update for you real soon
They had like a night sky effect and it reminded me of the Lion King where they're like the balls of gas and it's all the
Kings are all up in the sky, you know, whatever the line is
It wouldn't it was the kind of like a curved ceiling. It looked like a small like a dome
Planetarium yeah with very limited in the start like it wasn't like
Overdone and I actually really it really did have like a Lion King at night color palette
Which as far as color palettes go the Lion King. They're one of my favorites rainbow lights that were yeah
Yeah, they were projected through mist. It looked like a real rainbow
They had like a big statue of a guy holding a it was like I was like yeah
Yeah, an atlas statue and it said rainforest cafe on like a sign across across him or whatever and then next to him in the
Waterfall they had a rainbow
The soundscape was awesome. Oh my gosh. Yeah, like the music was at a comfortable volume
I mean I mean the effects, but yeah, you want to talk about music
I'm a fussy little boy with this and the music was perfect. Not only was the music hold on
What would you say you are I said, I'm a fussy little boy. We commissioned a song for this. Let's just do the song real quick
Fussy little boy
Okay, there we go Garrett's a fussy little boy Garrett's a fussy little boy
So the animal sounds were just slightly louder than the music. Yeah, I thought it was a great mix
It was a great mix. They played Africa by Toto. Yes, that brought me so much joy. I that song goes
Hard I love that
It had to be a choice it yeah, zero percent chance you're hearing Africa by Toto in a rainforest cafe by chance
That's just not happening. But yeah, I mean other than the
The thunderstorm underwhelming. I was a really big fan of this atmosphere
Speaking of the atmosphere meteorologist Matt Holliner here again this time coming to you live from the heart of the rainforest
Cafe there was no way I was gonna miss this historic event
I know things didn't pen out last time but folks this time. It's the real deal
Not only do we have another strong low pressure system, but it's dragging a cold front along with them
Yes, the cold front is actually making its way to the rainforest
Kevin now when that cold dry air collides with the extreme heat and extreme humidity we have here
It's going to be violent. We're not talking about regular thunderstorms
These storms are going to be severe
Not only is there gonna be heavy rain and lightning, but we're talking about wind gusts as high as 70 miles per hour
And golf ball size hail as well
And it's not gonna end quickly either these storms are gonna last for a long time dumping tremendous amounts of rain
I hate to say it, but it looks like we're in for an extreme flooding event in addition to the strong winds and hail
It's the calm before the storm right now, but let me tell you with this warm sticky air
It's going to be the fuel these storms feed off of and hold on stand by
Okay, just getting an update from my producer the low and that cold front are moving in
It's time to get inside the nearest permanent building and take cover in an interior room away from windows
This is it folks. I can hear the thunder the clouds are rolling in as I speak
It's happening right now
I'm not sure what just happened the storms just
Disappeared
Another update, uh-huh
Really
It appears a layer of Saharan dust
Snuck in at the last moment and that dry dusty air killed the storms
I don't believe it that never happens not here not in the rainforest
cafe
Well, I guess I'll just stay here in case the storms come back
Reporting live from the rainforest cafe Matt Holliner across the sky podcast signing off. Oh
Oh
One thing I noticed that was missing during the rainstorm. Uh-huh. I remember as a kid literal
Mist happening like I don't remember that I remember the misters
Maybe just different locations maybe effects. That was really cool as an adult in the current situation of the world
That would kind of weird me out not gonna lie
In a pandemic world having just liquid sprayed like misted on you in a restaurant would feel a little bit like
Jeremy I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that I wouldn't particularly be a fan of that now
There is an element that I mean, I guess it definitely ties into that atmosphere
The store. Oh, yeah, right. I went
with my girlfriend during the meal and then
You two went after the meal. Yeah, run of the mill toy store a lot of branded stuff all very on theme
Yeah, it's like a gift shop. You would find it animal kingdom. Yeah, that's probably a good way to put it
The you know decent amount of animal plushies and animal merch it was but it was all very focused on animal stuff
Oh, there was a photo booth that was very difficult to fit into wearing a flamingo inner to I actually got a video of that
And you can see that on our social media
Yeah, the store I bought a couple stickers
One was a flamingo and one was like mermaids have more fun or something like that at rainforest cafe
And I was like, where do mermaids fit into this? There were two very large empty fish tanks
Oh, yeah, that's right when you like the archway that you walk through
I remember those being filled with fish basically an aquarium. Yeah, well times times are tough
Yeah, so the mermaids ate the fish. Yeah
No, I didn't understand why they had mermaid merch
But I bought that sticker because it amused me and I'm just like screw it. Why not?
I think it's easy to call this a two thumbs up experience for me
Oh hands down for this is fear this by far favorite atmosphere so far. It knew what it was it committed fully
Yeah, what else do you need it did it well now there are prongs when you're talking about good atmosphere
There's kind of like classy fancy, and then there's kitschy. This was totally in the kitschy direction
This was past kitschy. This was its own theme park. Yeah, but it it executed
Yeah, it executed very well. So yeah, two thumbs up from both of us for
Atmosphere and we'll be back after a short break
Stupid dust
Stupid storms
It's supposed to be the storm of the century
Well, I don't know what to tell you folks. It's supposed to be huge
I don't know the rain bars cafe isn't what it used to be. I'll tell you that it's laughing at me
The animals laughing at me. The weather is laughing at me. Go ahead and listen
I'm not gonna get the camera out
I'm just gonna sit right here. Relax
This isn't even a real rain forest the animals are fake
Wow that gorilla's eyes can blink so it must be real. Oh, uh, I'm a professional and forget this I
Quit
Service
So our experience began very interestingly we did not have a server not in the traditional sense
We had a safari guide. That's how she introduced herself
She's just like she came up to her table. She's like hi. I'll be your safari guide tonight
And I'm like, you know what it's corny, but I appreciate it. It's perfect
It's a full commitment to the bit and you know me. I love a commitment to the bit and she was good
She checked in a decent amount, but what I
Noticed from her was a little bit of a detachment
It reminded me of our Buffalo Wild Wings experience, which if you go back to episode two and listen to that
We had a server who was very no nonsense all business kind of just like I want to get through my shift sort of vibe and
I respect the game. I get it
but there's a performative aspect that
We've disagreed upon in the past, but I believe should be a part of the serving experience
But especially when you work in a place like Rainforest Cafe where you are kind of equal parts theme park and restaurant
I think a
Server Rainforest Cafe should also be able to be like the human that leads you on your ride at Disney
The jungle cruise jungle cruise
Captain is the one maybe wanting to say but it's a very we all know it's a specific thing
Yeah, yeah specific personality you expect them to have like witty comebacks
Like certain like you know themed lines and Safari Safari guide is a good start
But you know these places often go hand-in-hand with different amusement parks
There there used to be a Rainforest Cafe in downtown Disney and Anaheim that location is closed down
But that used to be the closest one to us
And the other one that I had been to was in Las Vegas, which is kind of like Las Vegas is where you go
Yeah, it's where you go when you want like
themed
Attractions right she just didn't have the tourist trap
Persona, but you know she was all business. She was confident. She was and I think she warmed up
Yes, we displayed more of our personality. Do you think it's that we won her over?
Do you think it was the manager poking her of being like hey their food reviewers?
I think it's a little of both because I bet she thought these guys just pushed themselves in because they're food reviewers
So I don't care about them. Yeah, almost like a
Not bit better is not the right word, but just uh, we were almost
Could be seen as Karen's to begin with even though we weren't Ken's Ken's but I think as
The night went along. We were all there. We're fun. Yeah. Yeah, no
I mean, I I don't want to be hoity-toity ever. I don't I don't want to go into a place and be like I expect
I mean, I do have expectations, but I never want to outwardly
Put off the vibe of I deserve or I'm entitled to any specific thing
You know at the end of the day the worst that's gonna happen is I'll kind of talk about a negative experience
But we're all humans and unless they're like insulting me. I I'm I understand that I'm not looking to get anyone in trouble
Or or anything like that. So I can understand the perception of a food reviewer. Oh, yeah
I hope the reality of what we gave them was oh, those guys are really fun. They're clearly here to have a good time and
I also feel like an important element that we brought to this. I guess exchange of this interaction was
It's not like we walked in with our arms crossed going impress us
No, but seriously though, like that wasn't our like we came to have a good time. Yes, we went to have a double date
we went to just take in the vibe and
Sure, we were going to a place from our childhood and
Are definitely going to experience it differently as an adult, but I mean all four of us ended up saying this
The experience I had as an adult was better than the one I had as a guy far
This was an awesome night. So, you know, it definitely worked out as a double date when it comes into how this
Safari guides attitude was towards us. I get it
I hope that it didn't stem from a perception of how we would be but if how we ended up being
Changed her perception of us and therefore changed the service because it did get I think it didn't
Service stayed the same but the attitude got better and it was never a bad attitude
It was just kind of like a detached attitude like that, you know
When you're talking to someone and they're not making eye contact and they're scanning the background for like
Oh, who else can I make conversation with and you're at a party, you know that person?
That that was kind of the vibe I got that's a lot of me and I'm looking for dogs to pet
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are that guy at a party. You're always looking for bellies to rub. Yeah. Yeah. I liked her though
Yes, there was a weird incident with her
She did come up to us at some point and just say hey, I'm going to the restroom need anything
Going on over there
What could possibly be going on over there for her to give us and by over there
I'm literally meaning. I don't know in her thought process
Why did she feel like she needed to tell us I'm going to the alright
Here's the thing this isn't speculative right here if you're saying to someone I'm going to the bathroom need anything
First of all two questions need anything from the bathroom like is what is that? I don't think that's the implication
You almost said that I yeah, I had to stop myself to go and like in the like from the bathroom
No, you crazed person, but like it's such an admission that she's taken a dump
Cuz it's like yeah, you have to go to a bath the bathroom for a short amount of time. You're not telling people
You're just like oh, I can sneak this in. This is fine. She's like I'm gonna go make a big messy dump
I'm gonna light a match afterwards because I'm a polite person gonna take a while, you know, I
What it what is going on? Do you think that's what it was or is I want to give her the benefit of the doubt
Yeah, but there's got to be an alternate explanation. I think she was going into the quote restroom
Mm-hmm to feed the animals. Oh, that's where it's not an actual restroom. It's a staging area slash home
For their animals. So whenever one of us needs to use the restroom from now on we'll say I need to go feed the animals
Yes, oh
Gosh, yeah, okay, I can get behind that. Yeah, I want like someone has to feed the animals
She's just like oh god, I don't want to let them in on to the fact that we have real animals here
That's an animal control and sanitary issue right away. What's a better excuse? Oh, I'm going to take a dump
That's more polite than admitting to them that we have a cheetah captive in our kitchen
The health department is okay with one of those options
She's just covering for the fact that they are breaking so many laws
Both animal trafficking laws as well as
Sanitation laws there may be caged endangered species in a staging area beneath the restaurant
There's like a an underground
Big cat quote-unquote rescue underneath where it's really just they're like the highest bidder gets to take home like a half-bred
Lion slash Liger yeah, I look I think of it like oh one that one Bruce Lee movie where he's on an island fighting and he has to go
There's an underground prison area
Mm-hmm, but it's that for like animals half unicorn half elephants. Yes. What would we call a unifint?
Unifint and they're all cyborgs because once they're animatronics, that's full-on robots how they make them
They were real animals that got turned it like it's like taxidermy taken to another level
Yes, oh my gosh, but they still have kind of their animal brain
So it's possible that they like
Regain consciousness and and control over their faculties and then start attacking the restaurant
Oh wait, so then they need a failsafe in place when the animals go wild. Yeah, which I think they have. I don't know. Let's see
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? This isn't a job ad. This is what's going on over there
I already told you I'm gonna take care of all the animals that are going out of control that rhino starts stampeding
Start bleeding because my way of controlling these animals now is just asking them nicely to stop
They took away my tranquilizer gun just because an airman thought put a customer to sleep
But we do know for sure that they can understand us because they are half cyborg
We know for a fact that's what's going on over there. So I'm gonna go back to what's going on with you guys. Okay. Bye
All right. Yeah, it does sound like they have it under control. So I guess this is an expert. That's what was going on over there
It takes a village it takes a jungle it takes it takes an indigenous jungle tribe
Yeah, so our service is not solely predicated on the performance of our
Safari guide. No, she's only one of the team that successfully made our experience
That's the the key elements involved were our safari guide
Also the manager she spent a lot of time with us probably a good 10 minutes. Maybe 15. Yeah
She was good. She you know, she kind of she had a little bit of an attitude to her
But like in a fun way, you know, like when people like to be abused
Yeah, there was definitely like a like a sort of rapport with her. That's the best way I can describe it just
It's kind of like a sibling relationship almost. Yeah, she felt like our sister. Yeah
Yeah, she's someone you would run into at a family reunion and just strike up a conversation
She'd maybe make fun of you for having a mustard stain on your shirt from the hot dogs that you cooked
Yeah, yeah, and like would be the type that like brings it up every time she sees you for the next like three times
But her heart is pure and you never get mad at her for it because yeah, she's got it now
We wanted the full experience when we went there now
She also had a very good sense of humor about your flamingo, which let's be honest could have gone in many different directions
That could have gotten us kicked out easily
There are many factors that we had to kind of worry about being at the the mercy of
The staff Bailey if I was seated somewhere else this inner tube probably would have interfered with the flow of people around us
Yeah, and you can't do that
You can't get in the way of like the like if you were sitting where I was sitting you would have been blocking people going to the restroom
Yeah, which by the way, we didn't talk about it during atmosphere
But let's talk about the restrooms for a second king of the jungle queen of the jungle. Those are the door signs
I'm a big I'm a sucker for door signs on themed restaurants all green inside
Very like jungle themed. I appreciated it. I saw the pictures. They were it looked like a place
I would want to go to use the restroom
How insightful
Let me rephrase that
I'm shopping at this mall. I'm choosing you had to choose your
If I had to choose my restroom in this mall, I'm always going to the rainforest cafe if you can get in
Maybe I'm a restroom reviewer. Oh, that's a wild spin-off that we could do. No
The look on your face and how badly you want to do it. I'm not willing to do it
Where are we now? So the manager? Yeah, she spent a good amount of time with us
She spent good time with us. She was fun, but she also tipped us off to balloon animals balloon animals
They had probably four or five different workers going from table to table turns out
This is like the Von trap family of balloon animals. They're all of them were were related except for one
They're all like independent like they are allowed to do their business at rainforest cafe
But they are not employees of rainforest cafe. Therefore. They are not paid by rainforest cafe
They're only paid by tips with the manager told us before they even sent anyone over and I was like, okay
That's fine. They said the best one they have but I think she said they said she was like 16 or something
Was she that young? She didn't look I don't know. I can't tell I can't tell what anyone is this these days
There's child and then there's like younger than me and then I can tell who's older than me and that's about it
I don't think she was 16 because she didn't carry on
Conversations like a 16 year old. I don't know they didn't either. Yeah, I don't know. They both of both college like college
Yeah, but but anyways, they were both like she was the pro. This was his first week
Yeah, and so that they sent this girl over and she was just kind of like meandering back and forth like not
Acknowledging us like walking by our table and I was like, oh, they she think she's looking for a kid
That's that's what my my brain went to I was like
Hi, it's us. You're looking for and she was like, oh, no, no, no, I'm just looking for
Another guy who just started here. Do you mind if he?
Either joins or like watches so I can kind of teach him certain
Balloon animals that he may not know yet while I'm working with you guys and it's like oh, yeah, okay
So she comes back probably about like three or four minutes later has this guy with them
They're both very nice very enthusiastic and they ask our table
Which by the way just to repaint this picture for you because you're gonna need the reminder every so often
Garrett is wearing a flamingo inner tube meant for a pool
So it is large. It is cumbersome. I can't really reach the table very well at this point
He's literally like leaning forward to like eat over the he has like a like a baby tray underneath
Like a lap desk. Yeah. Oh, and honestly, those are nice
Yeah, but a curved one that everything would fall off of it
He tried to balance anything on it made eating harder, but it made sitting on more comfortable. Interesting
This girl asks us
What do you want for a balloon animal? And I said I want what he had
And I pointed the inner tube
I was like, can you make me a balloon flamingo inner tube instead of like a hat or like something to carry around and she was like
Oh, you bet. I'm gonna try
Okay, yeah, it's on and immediately in my brain. I'm like she works for tips
So she's putting in the work as though she works a job for two
I've worked jobs where I worked for tips before I was a tour guide at Paramount Studios. That is I mean it wasn't exclusively tips
but like
Pay wasn't great. So yeah
The and it was one of those jobs where you're supposed to decline tips
But it's like you guys pay me like nothing like of course. I'm gonna take your tips. So she gets to work on that
My date wants a fish
like like a hat and it's actually really cool
It has like a fishing rod sticking out of the hat
But it's a balloon and then an uninflated balloon string dangling from it as though it is a line like a fishing line and
Then an inflated fish biting onto the bottom of it
It's so cool. It is and my girlfriend got an octopus. Yeah
So there was a fully inflated balloon as it's like a round balloon round balloon normal balloon
too smaller eyes attached and
There were eight
Full balloon tentacles. Yeah, like the long skinny balloon ones. Yeah, not only then there was a pedestal going underneath that
Attached to like a crown crown headband. Yeah, you could fully wear this octopus on your head
It was awesome. Yeah. Meanwhile
She's just getting to work on my flamingo inner tube
Draws up a flamingo. Now the the inner tube that you were wearing
Had sunglasses. Yeah, inflatable sunglasses. And then you asked. Hey, can I have some no, no, I didn't even ask
No, well, she asked do you want the sunglasses and I was like, oh, yeah, if you can do that
Sure, she is drawing them in Sharpie. So she's like inflating the thing
It's really hard for a smaller flamingo head to make balloon sunglasses
I imagine so she's drawing the shape and Sharpie and she's
Unsatisfied with the first one and literally like starts over and I was like, oh, no, no, no, it's okay
And she's like, no, no, no, I have to do it right and she starts doing it again
And then we realized we have two flamingo heads like we could have a flamingo hydra
So the other guys started twisting them together as a joke. Yeah
And she's like, no, no, no, and I was like, I'm I'd be okay with that. Yeah, kind of wanted to edit one
But yeah, and then she's working on like making a thing that'll fit around me
Which took a little bit of trial and error the first one I kind of squeezed through and I was like, oh, I'm
I'm never getting out of here without it popping and it popped eventually did one of yeah
One of the two balloons
It was kind of like a helix sort of pattern across and then she made a bigger one
That was a little bit more adjustable that we actually like fit to me and then we put the flamingo in back much like
Garrett's flamingo, which was you know over his shoulder like over his back
Essentially and then so now I had a flamingo that I could wear and was poking up over my shoulder and it was awesome
It was we've got these pictures on our social media again. You can go check those out on our Instagram. I
Loved it. This was I think the highlight of our night. It was so cool
first of all just the amount of commitment to
Be like I'm I'm gonna make you this flamingo in or two that I made as a gel
Like I thought it would just be funny to be like I'm jealous of your flamingo or whatever
I want that too and like, you know kind of get like a crappy little flamingo. I didn't get a crappy little flamingo
I got a great flamingo after this experience. Yeah, you rewarded them
They work for tips only I had a hundred dollar bill in my wallet and I would like to nominate
You Michael for what giving a one hundred dollar tip for this week's this is way too much
award
Honestly Garrett, I'm flattered. I'm a first-time recipient
I would like to thank my mother who always believed in me who always taught me to be generous
I would like to thank the balloon animal makers at the rainforest cafe without them
I wouldn't be where I am right now, but most importantly
I would like to thank rainforest cafe for informing me that these people work for only tips
Because yeah, I mean this isn't a real word
It isn't a real it is a real word. Yeah, this is way too much given to the most ridiculous thing that
Stood out about our experience that week
I'm honored Garrett. Thank you. I just the actual the button moment of it
She took the bill and didn't look at it like it like a normal person should and then as she's walking away
You can tell that's when she looks at it. She comes back. Are you sure? Yeah?
She's just like, oh my god, are you sure and I was like, yeah, yeah, it's fine
She's like you're really sure like what if I had said no. Yeah, what if I had been like what I gave you a 10?
I see those stories on reddit all the time. Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I meant to give you a 10
God how not to use a pun, but how deflating would that have been?
Just
Yeah, just deflate the balloon lady
Yeah, no, I mean they earned it. They were great
It brought us a lot of joy
There was a photo woman here. Yeah much like our Outback experience if we had it at any other places
I think it was just out back. Yeah, she came up. She took a photo of the entire table now this time
You know what offered us key chains, you know what I felt misled she so she was like you get a complimentary key chain
Mm-hmm. She took three photos and then you know brought out the actual nice prints of the photos and was like these are you know
It was the same pricing as Outback. It was 20 bucks for one or if you want all three you can get 35
I believe that's what the price. Yeah, then she said since it was just your birthday. I'll give you a little hint
I can actually give it to you
If I just take the frame off of it because it's got like a nice
Like like cardboard like but like textured frame on it. I thought that meant free
Because she said give it to you she didn't say for less she just said I can give it to you if I take the frame off of it
She took the frame off of it and then she's pulling out the little credit card machine
And I've already agreed to this transaction. I don't really want it
But now I'm paying
1034 for a picture that I don't really need
And then I'm you know, then it's like at a tip and I'm like fine
I had a couple bucks. I ended up paying like 13 bucks. Oh didn't even get the frame
Hey, no, we got a key chain, but that was for that's what was free anyways
But yeah overall it takes a tribe it does and the service experience here
Everyone was delightful. Everyone was pleasant
Everyone had fun with us
Yeah, and everyone was trying and the balloons were just such a great fun touch two thumbs up for service
And for me two thumbs up hard two thumbs up. These people were great. Yeah, no discussion needed
Or no, I mean we just gave you a lot of discussion, but you know, no, we don't need to justify it
Yeah, they justified it with their excellent service everything we've said so far. I think shines
Positively upon our service experience overall. So rainforest cafe two thumbs up
We will be back after a quick break
The summer of 2004 I worked in Rainforest cafe as a
National every day when we would get to work
We would put our stuff in a locker room and of course all the girls put our handbags in our lockers
No one's ever locked it up. It was just pretty normal that way
About halfway through the summer one day. I stopped to get gas gas station
And I didn't have my credit card in my wallet. Well, that's kind of weird
Well, I get home that night and look in my wristlet and there's no credit cards or ID or anything in there
I'm like, that's kind of weird. I want to wear it is and then I'm beginning to put it all together
Going through everything and realize all of my major credit cards and my debt card are busy. Am I?
So I got to work the next morning at Rainforest and say like hey these things are missing
I think my personal thoughts on when they take me in the room where the camera set up is and we go through
the video and we see a girl that is
significantly different body shape than I am and
Completely different hair color go into my locker and get my handbag
Which is pretty feathered and very loud and very noticeable and take it to the bathroom
It's in the locker room and then a few minutes later come out and put my handbag back in my locker
And I'm like, oh my gosh. She is seed. It's my wallet. She took all of my stuff
So I get on my online banking and I see all the transactions that happened
And there's like one of the micro stores has a major transaction and Walmart has a transaction
Oh and my checkbook is missing and all my check so I
Notice that all of my checks have been written and I was a college kid and I had my bank account set up that my
Checking account when I overdrew it was pulled from my savings account
She completely emptied both accounts and that felt all of my credit card. I followed police reports
And I've told them that Rainforest has video surveillance of all of this and I'm like, oh
Well, can you ask them to give us the video?
I go in and ask them to give them the video and they flat out were excused
They are like the cops are going to have to get here and get it themselves
but then I also go to some of the stores where
the
Transactions happen and like the bed store where you buy a mattress they pull up the video
And I'm like, she doesn't even look like me and she used my ID
This was the craziest thing of the whole deal
She also knew how much you could charge so that it wouldn't be a felony
She would get like dollars under the felony line and charge up to that
insane
Hey, everyone another week and more reviews. This is so awesome. So this week's favorite review is from
1928
Makes me want mediocre food
Love this show and the hosts lots of great personality surging with creativity
Like one of the hosts I have Italian heritage and haven't been to a horrific Olive Garden in over 20 years
But this show made me want to go back and try the mediocrity
Keep it up fellas. So once again, this was one
1928 thank you
If that's you send us an email at find dining podcast at gmail.com and we will send you a free t-shirt
All the rest of you out there in listener land same goes for you
If you hear your review read on the podcast send us an email and you get a free t-shirt. Keep it sleazy
Thanks guys
Food
This was the part of the experience. I guess coming in I had the lowest expectations for I did too
I thought okay. This is we're going to a theme park in theme park food isn't always that great
You know what? I will say I didn't have low expectations
I literally didn't know what my expectations would be because last time I went again
I was a very young kid when I was on that birthday party diet where all I ate were burgers chicken tenders fries pizza
That's it like that's all I would eat. So I remember I've had their burger before it didn't make a mark as like
Exceptional like how do you remember a burger from 21 years ago? So it's just in your memory. It's just another chain restaurant
Yeah, it's just like I've had a burger so I made a point specifically to not get the burger
I was actually thinking about like, you know, I haven't had a burger on this podcast since islands and I do love burgers like burgers
Honestly, if I'm not reviewing for the podcast, they're probably the default thing. I'm ordering at most places. I love a good burger
but I guess I've gotten in the point for where for the sake of this podcast to give an honest review of the
Restaurant putting its best foot forward or what they think is their best foot forward
I am immediately drawn to the things that have like this is a house favorite or what are a brand favorite or whatever
Yeah, it's always a menu indication. Yes, I'm looking for those icons and it's not always what I'm getting but I
Think to judge a place by what they are proud of I think is a fair analysis of
their food and
As we've kind of gotten in the habit of now with the last three places we've gone
We're kind of doing samplers. We're getting a lot of a lot of different things. So we got what was that?
The awesome appetizer adventure. So it had chimichachas, which are chimichangas
They had a light kick. I thought they were pretty pleasant. I asked them if they could make them with no cheese
They said they couldn't but when they came out, I didn't notice I didn't notice any cheese
I didn't taste it. I didn't see it and I'm usually yeah
Sorry again, I know some of you this might be your first episode. I'm not a cheese guy
All that means is more for you. So don't be mad at me. So it also came with cheese sticks mozzarella sticks
Obviously, which wasn't my territory and then same with the artichoke. Yeah, the chips were you know, they were your run-of-the-mill chips
But you got to enjoy the chicken tenders good, but not great. I go six out of ten on those
I agree and you know what they were tender, but they were under seasoned. They were very un yeah
They were safe for kids. They were a great texture and
Yeah, safe is probably the best way to put that taste very straightforward unlike that chimichacha, which was strongly flavored
I go seven out of ten on that. Oh, yeah
I think it's seven seven point five out of ten for that for me. There was a really good strong cayenne kick at the end to it
Yeah
Basically a southwest egg roll. Mm-hmm, and it was a great southwest egg roll score
Score seven point five out of ten for that one and the cheese sticks. We'll go back to that. Did you eat it?
I ate it. It was lukewarm
Under seasoned it's probably four out of ten cheese stick
So for the entirety of the awesome appetizer adventure, you know
My scores were higher than the overall rating, but I also didn't eat everything and not everything appealed to me
but even then nothing really like
Stood out is like, oh, I have to get that again
So I'm going just a straight five out of ten on that very average with that one
I forgot to mention the spinach and artichoke dip. Mm-hmm. It was very subtle
but
Very cream cheese heavy. Is that a thing you like or like to in this case? I was pretty neutral to it
I noticed it. Yeah, I almost like a little more cheese taste to my spinach and artichoke
Dip even though I don't like cheese. I feel like there needs to be more parm in it. That's right. We both don't like
Yeah, so I yeah, so that's maybe a five out of ten
But overall I'll give the platter a six out of ten. Yeah, it was a very
So you call it edible arrangement. You'd call it good
Yeah, I would call it average just as average as average can get if you just want a bunch of different things to taste
This is the thing for you. It's perfect. Let's say you've got you're there with your entire family
Heck, yes, get that let the family month taste a little bit of all of it
No one's gonna be impressed. No one's gonna be disappointed and that's what we're looking for. Yes. That's mediocrity, baby
Now for the main course. I took our server's suggestion
This is her favorite dish and another signature dish on the menu the pasta. Laya, which is a basically just a portmanteau of pasta and jambalaya
Yep, so it's just jambalaya on pasta. Yeah, so it's like a spicy has a kick
This is what my girlfriend ordered. I had a taste of that. I thought the sausage in it was really good
Oh, yeah, the andouille was really good. It had a similar spice profile to the chimichachas. Yes, and it was a little hotter though
Mm-hmm. Oh, it came with a type of bread that you know
Yeah, okay my rating of this bread in my notebook literally is just
One swear word followed by nine out of ten
Yeah
Yes, it was it was the macaroni grill bread with a different texture
Yeah, it was a little flavor. It's like they let the macaroni grill focaccia rise slightly more
Yeah, and it was like fluffier a little bit macaroni grill is my pick for the best bread in the game
This might supplant it, but this isn't table bread. You have to actually order a specific thing to get this bread
So it's kind of harder to find but if you go to a rainforest cafe, make sure you get the focaccia that comes with the pasta
I don't know if you can ask for it without getting the pasta. Laya, but
They definitely have it in back and it's worth it. It's so good. It's so good
I wish I would have used it to make like a chicken and sausage sandwich the chicken in the pasta
Laya was very good too
So I had a taste of the chicken the I didn't have the shrimp because again
It was my girlfriend's dish
So I only I only snuck like one or two bites and I had my own thing to evaluate
I only went off the taste. I had you know one forkful a little bit of chicken a little bit of andouille sausage
6.9 out of 10
just
A notch below what I would call very good. I don't know
I saw what they were going for with it, but all it made me wish was that it was
Pasta it just made me wish it was like meat sauce pasta
I was like, oh, this is reminding me of a thing. I would rather have so it was good
It was a good dish on the other hand, I'm gonna go you love similar reasons for you
I'm gonna give it a nine out of ten because I
Loved the pasta. It was great. The pasta was again, al dente as I like it
Mm-hmm. It was sauce in the Jambalaya sauce. Yeah, plus I prefer pasta to rice in this situation
Mm-hmm. I've never had it like this and I think it improved the experience. All right, especially texture wise now
So here's the way that I view a rating and you know, we're all different you may not view it through this lens
But when I'm rating it, I'm looking at what do I rate an average like spaghetti bolognese?
Whichever one has the higher rating to me is the one where I'm like if I had to have this dish for the rest of my life
Or if I had to choose between these two and I had to choose one and that's the only one
I had to have every time I'm choosing spaghetti bolognese every time
So I'm just like the John the pasta lie it doesn't supplant spaghetti bolognese for me
It would just create a longing in my heart for bolognese if I had to keep having pasta lie
If I kept having spaghetti bolognese, I wouldn't be like man. I wish this was pasta lie
Okay, and I look at it in a vacuum. So this was the only pasta lie I have ever had
Sure
So it gets the benefit of that if this were just a true Jambalaya
I would still probably give it a 7.5 or an 8. Yeah, if it were just the pasta with the amazing sauce
It was there's some fish
I had a good kick to it. It was good. So like an Arrabiata or something
I'd also give that a 7 to an 8 two different things combined together
9 out of 10 meanwhile
I got the ribs steak and shrimp trio. Yeah, you and your samplers. I guess I
Yeah, I just feel like I need to try as many things as possible to give a an in-depth analysis
Which is self-imposed. I don't think that's the actual criteria that anyone needs to have but
It's very self-imposed. So the the shrimp that came on this was like a I forget the exact term for it
But it was it was basically their coconut shrimp
It was my first time having coconut shrimp and it was the best coconut flavored thing I've ever had
I'm I typically avoid coconut for texture. Okay. It was very pleasant still acquiring my taste for shrimp
I give it a seven and a half out of ten, which I think is a very respectable
You know well into the quote-unquote good range. Yeah, it's between good and great
It was a good taste it came with so it was like a yellowish sauce kind of like a like a sticky sauce
They said it was plum sauce
I don't know if that's typically yellow or not
And I don't think it tasted that much like plum and when I was looking it up online
I kept seeing something about mango sauce. Oh, yeah, like if you've ever had cha cha chicken
Mm-hmm. Okay. It's a kind of a Caribbean place one of their their mild sauce is like mango and pineapple based
It's really good. Yeah, it was a good. It was a good sauce. It complimented the coconut shrimp very well
there was a coleslaw which
Your run-of-the-mill coleslaw I give it like a five and a half out of ten
Only took a few bites of it just for spatial management, but it was good
Fries averages can be they did nothing to impress did nothing to detract
That's a five out of ten for me the ribs fell off the bone
Immediately like I reach for the ribs and I'm trying to break them apart and instead I pull a bone straight out of it
Which is a good sign of the texture. I love ribs that fall off the bone. I had like a tasty sweet sauce
These were good ribs
But my scale for ribs is I'm a Texan you're a Texi boy
I'm a I'm a half Midwest a half Texi rusty boy
I would have gone higher if I if my rib education was lower
I'm still gonna give it a seven still giving it a seven. Okay, I reserve like, you know
Nines and tens for like elite level stuff eight is like approaching elite level
This wasn't on that scale, but I've had tens. I've given tens on ribs before okay
Not every food. I can say that about you know, there are certain foods
I'm like, I really like this, but I'm still waiting for that ten out of ten. Okay. I I can see that
I would once you've had that ten out of a ten it lowers everything else a little bit
I don't think I've had that so I would give these and a good eight out of ten good
Smoky tangy and tangy was kind of the predominant thing, but I like the the texture was
Great, but different than what I consider
Like when I have like the best Texas barbecue like when I go to love barbecue in East Austin that that's my my spot
Their beef rib is like the size of your forearm. That's not an exaggeration. Their brisket is perfect
But like you get their ribs and it's just like this is next level. This is I didn't I didn't know this food could be prepared
This this well, okay, I'm not getting that at a rainforest cafe, but they were they were good
They were the best part of my entree. How is your steak?
Yeah
That's my response to restaurant steaks
It was a steak steaks good and it wasn't like
Insulting for a steak, but man was it just it underwhelmed me quite a bit. It looked aesthetically pleasing
I go I go like five and a half. Okay
That's on the food scale not the steak scale like it would be lower if I'm rating it against other states
Oh, God, was it cooked to temp properly? Yeah
Yeah, I don't know like the texture was like a little chewy in a way that I didn't look like it wasn't bad
They didn't make any mistakes other than just having an item like this on the menu that isn't really where they shine
Okay, they came with like a
Weird like a plastic thing that they stuck into it and then like melted butter around it
I guess it's probably what they used to stick the butter to it
Oh, I think the butter had already melted thing is the temp indicator
So when they've got it under their lights in the back of the kitchen a server can be like, oh, yeah, this one boom boom
But I did it. Oh, I see interesting
I'd never considered that but yeah
I came it came with that in it and like an already melted thing of butter on it
but it was like all concentrated just around the
Little plastic thing that had been stuck in it and it wasn't like spread out across it
Yeah, you know, I want I wanted better. I paid 35 bucks for a platter of ribs
shrimp and steak and
Two out of the three things were good
The steak is probably what made it more expensive and I felt that it
Could have been more so that's our entrees. That's our appetizers
But now we get to dessert. Oh dessert was great. We got two desserts
They had one that was kind of like a seasonal special thing the Oreo banana pudding. It was
Oreo banana bread pudding that was
truly
Fantastic, I love Oreo and I love banana the girls at the table
Were both either I don't like banana or I don't love Oreo. I love them both
It was it was
9 out of 10 for me. Oh 10 out of 10 for me. I love banana. I love Oreo
It's delicious and I reserved 10 out of 10 for like this is the best dessert I've ever had
This was the best up there for you. This was the best Oreo banana pudding. I have ever had I've never had it
But this was the best banana related dessert. I have ever had in my life. I give you that
They're ooh the special note the caramel sauce. Yeah, everything about it. The whole presentation the way it looked
It was it was a thing of beauty
But we didn't stop there
No, we milked the my birthday was recent hard and they brought out because we always love hearing places
With their birthday song is we got to hear their staff coming out and clapping
Along with the rainforest cafe branded birthday song and they brought out our sparkling volcano
Which has like a big?
Sparkler sticking out of it, but that's not what they light. It's like a sparkler, but has like
What would you call it like tinsel? Yeah material attached to it or whatever it is
And then they just have like a small wax candle sticking out the side of it and they just light that and it's like four pieces of vertical cake
It's a cool presentation. Yeah, it's like four pieces of cake ten around. Yeah around ice cream
Yeah, the presentation was cool. And then there's a
Gummy worms around the outside of it. Those are a good touch and they weren't stale. No
I can't remember the last time I had a gummy worm that wasn't really stale
The everything about it tasted very good if I had the banana bread the Oreo banana bread pudding at a 9 out of 10
I have this at an 8.5 out of 10. It's very close for me. And I love chocolate
as much as I love banana and Oreo and all that so
Great desserts both of them. You can't go wrong. I'm actually not a fan of chocolate cake, but the cake was moist
Still firm. It was everything. I guess it was an ideal
Situation yeah, so I'll still give it an 8 out of 10
Based on the fact it was an ideal situation cake. Okay, my overall food rating
I've given all the thumbs that I could so far. Yeah all the thumbs up
It does not earn it here that steak was kind of disappointing the appetizer platter didn't do much to impress me
But the desserts bumped it up for me at the last at the zero hour
I'm giving one thumb up. I have two thumbs up for this mm-hmm on the merits of the dessert bumped it from
Maybe one in seven eighths thumbs to a full two thumbs if that's possible to do
But do you like chop it off with garden shears while pruning bushes actually my dad
My dad did that of his fingers sharpening a lawnmower
My dad lost the tip of his middle finger
Literally trimming hedges and they both found the pieces and reattached them not themselves. They had
professionals do it. I imagine
Munchkin menu musings
Hi, my name is Austin. I am six years old. I will be reviewing the
Rain force cafe menu a rain force is a spot where animals live
So I bet I might see some I see that there's lots of animals on this first page
And then there is spot the differences. There's like the animals is a leopard
I'm trying to find the differences on each of them
There's also an unscramble the words. I was
unscramble in the names all the animals are a far or the Rilla
lion
monkey
an alligator
elephant
iguana and
Parrot and there's connect the dots on to make a monkey
There's some jokes. My favorite is what do you get when you?
cross a cheetah with a
Cheeseburger you get fast food
Ten out of ten. Thank you for letting me through this menu
Final rating
Wow, this was an experience. This was a great experience
It's like we went to Disney and had an amazing meal and you know what?
Disneyland is one of the top entertainment things that you can do it is there's a reason why Super Bowl winners
Declare that they're gonna go to Disneyland and it has nothing to do with sponsorships
Probably not. I like this place a lot. The service was fun. The balloon animals great touch
The atmosphere on point. They knew what they were they executed fantastically on that point
They are such a tourist trap and I'm a sucker for tourist traps. I really do like stuff like that
The food is where the experience fell short for me and at the end of the day. We're restaurant reviewers
Yes, the our score is a reflection of our full experience
But food does factor into that pretty heavily. I am gonna give this
Still the highest rating. I think I've given but overall higher than our
Aggregate highest score. I'm going eight point one three well rainforest cap a
It was very cohesive
It was it made for a great date literally all four of us walked out going like that was a lot of fun
I mean, isn't that the goal? We're looking to have a great time now. We are looking for mediocrity and we
We felt we did not find it here. No, but what we did find was a great time and that's a good conversation. Definitely
again, this atmosphere
was
By far the strongest performing atmosphere
Yeah, I have seen so far and I suspect this is going to be the strongest performing atmosphere of any restaurant in Iran
You think so? I think it will be okay
So this is this I think in terms of committing to a theme. Yes. Yep in commitment in execution
Okay, yeah the service again
It takes a tribe and they were excellent another two thumbs up there. Yep, and the food
You went I had another two thumbs up for that because you gave all the thumbs my food experience was better than yours
Yes, so overall, what does that give me this my highest rating to date?
9.0
You're over 9. I am over 9 9.0 1. I did not think I would go over 9 and I have Astros
Yeah, I have 9 and up reserved for like these are the best flavors. You've ever tasted in your life
This is the fanciest atmosphere
candle lit
But you know everyone has their own criteria and you are you are welcome to go over 9 if you want to
I genuinely had
No idea this was going to happen. My expectations were tempered going in
I thought I was going to be fighting nostalgia the whole time, but
This was wonderful. Well rainforest cafe going up on the chachki of mediocrity
at
5 7 the chachki of mediocrity. You can see it on our instagram page
It is our
Frankenstein of a wall chachki that is used as our scoreboard our running tally of all the restaurants
We have been do so far and now in the highest spot yet rainforest cafe
You get slapped up on the chachki
and that
means
We've got another place that means I scored outside the mediocre range side note
This was the most expensive per person. Oh, yeah
Well, I remember you you made a note of how much money this entire experience was this whole night
But we're factoring in the overly generous tip. Yes, and this is to the blind you to the worst of the balloon people
After all the rating price value has no effect on our rating whatsoever because we're talking about the experience
Uh
With with no constraints. Just what do they offer?
$350 and 85 cents between the four of us were spent at rainforest cafe between the store between
Generously tipping the balloon animal makers and our meal $350.85. Wow. That was more per person than you now the
Consequences must be faced. Yes
Not mediocre enough
Draw from the bowl the you must bowl
So for our next episode
I must paint the exterior
Of the establishment before i'm allowed to go in and eat. Yes, complete painting. It must be done before you walk inside
Uh, can I enlist help?
If I don't see why if I'm doing like I will still be the one doing the painting
But can I have someone there to either split that workload or give me tips or something like that?
Yeah, hey as long as you are physically painting the restaurant outside. Hey, okay. That's all the counts
Next week. I'm gonna bring
The best artist I know
Not not actually true, but uh, all right the artist. I know best. I'll say it that way
I'm taking my mom with us next week. Are you down to dine with my mother?
Oh, I am down to dine with your mother. Are you down to have my mom on the podcast?
Yes, I would love to have your mom with us
All right, we'll have we'll have my mom guest star on the podcast and she'll help me with this painting
We need to figure out where we're going. Ooh, so it's time to play the headline game
The rules of the headline game are as follows
Michael will present three headlines to Garrett that include this week's restaurant
They can be made up or they can be actual headlines
If Garrett can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake
He will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Michael stumps him, he'll select again
Are you ready to play fellas?
Oh, I'm ready. All right. Got three headlines for you. Okay first headline from rainforest cafe
Everything's bigger in texas rainforest cafe invests six fold into galveston store
Uh, if I had more texas knowledge, I could say a thing
Galveston's not one of the three huge cities in texas
false
Okay
From jungle to joints rainforest cafe could become a weed dispensary
False that building's way too large to handle a dispensary operation
third rainforest cafe the perfect example of why the past should stay in the past
I'm gonna go true. Someone had a bad experience. Well
Garrett let's go through them. Everything's bigger in texas rainforest cafe invests six fold into galveston store
You said that's false because you haven't heard of galveston
Uh, that is correct that I have not heard of galveston. Yes
The headline is false, but I believe the sentiment is somewhat true
The galveston store is like the pinnacle of rainforest cafes really
I thought you would have known that I I just thought like oh, okay, so
Random mid-sized city in texas has it's a coastal city. It's where like cruise ships leave out of
It's so it's like a poor town for people who are about to go on like
Gulf vacations. Okay. I was expecting you to know that the galveston was kind of the the big one
So I was trying to trick you there, but you were your instinct was corrected as a false headline
From jungle to joints rainforest cafe could become a weed dispensary. That is true
Really a specific one if approved the pot shop would sell medical and recreational cannabis at the former restaurant at clark and ohio street
So this is in chicago. So you have one correct answer one
Incorrect answer. Okay rainforest cafe the perfect example of why the past should stay in the past
You said that's true from some bitter author. Yes. I felt like you would fall for that, but I actually made that up
It is false
I win the headline game. Sorry garret. You did not correctly guess two out of three
So where are we going? Where am I taking my mom? Where am I gonna go paint with my mom? Yeah, you know what?
Let's make this nostalgic for her
Bob's big boy. Oh my god. My mom grew up going to bob's big boy with like her family and her dad and
I'm excited to trade big boy stories with your mom because
Do you have big boy stories? There is a very specific
Difference in big boy franchises from where your mom and I grew up
And what's out here? Hmm. I want to see what happens
That does it for this week's episode of fine dining the search for the most mediocre restaurant in
America
Wait, we're supposed to have an actual eagle noise. Not just you saying eagle noise
eagle noise
America eagle noise. Why does it keep doing that? America?
Wait that time I had both America
There we go. It's working again. Good. I don't know what happened. That was super weird
Uh, you guys can follow us on all of our socials on instagram and tiktok at fine dining podcast
You can email us whatever you want if you used to work at a bob's big boy or currently do and have any interesting heartwarming crazy wild stories
Send them to us. Uh, you can send a voice submission to our email address fine dining podcast at gmail.com
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We've got some fun shirts for you guys. Go ahead and get our
That pizza survival tips is beautiful. Oh the pizza hut shirt
The guy who drew that uh is an actual background artist at disney. Oh, wow
Okay, it shows the great the one and only brandon gully
Fantastic artist. Uh, you guys got to check out the pizza hut shirt. It's uh, it's a great design and like I love I love our olive garden shirt
Yes, it's such a good shirt. So it's more than perfectly adequate. It's more than perfectly adequate
Thanks again for listening everybody. We'll see you next week. The search continues. Have a fine day
The search continues
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Okay, we're going to find it
Mediocrity the search continues
See you next week
Heard my throat a little have a fine day