Fine Dining - The Chuy's Kids Menu Situation is Dogsh*t

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food Elvis lives at Chuy's 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha!   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Chuy's stories at [e-mail].   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: GattiTown! If you have ever worked for GattiTown and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of the GattiTown kids menu, send it to [e-mail].

Happy New Year and welcome to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host, Michael Ornelas. And I'm your host, Garrett Zwerk. And we are two guys in search of constancy. We want, you know, we want to go to a place and not have to worry about what we're going to get. We don't want to think about if it's good or bad.

We just want mediocrity so we know what we're going to get. You know, you go to a really nice place to get your hopes up. You go to a really shitty place. And you're like living in regrets. We want one single element of our life to be stable, please. That's why we are looking for the perfect 5.00 out of 10 so that you don't have to. We're going to all the restaurant chains that we can find and we are going to find and define mediocrity.

Yes, we will find the pure 5.00 out of 10. And if you want to keep track of our running tally of scores, you can go on Instagram and check out our Chachki of mediocrity, a giant Frankenstein Chachki. Like of all the wall decorations you can see at these places. It's got like a good luck cat, a surfboard, long horns, a guitar. It's like all those things, but right in the middle is a surfboard with our running scale of all the places we've visited so far and where they fall on that 0-10 scale. That's quite the sight to behold and one day we will get that perfect 5.00 right in

the middle. And of course, as is the case every week, these scores are determined by how we feel about a restaurant's atmosphere, service, and food. Garrett, you and I met in a food court. Yes, we did, right in front of a Sabara. And we... that is actually true, I know it sounds like a weird fictional origin story and I know we kind of go into cuckoo land sometimes in our episodes, but this is completely true.

We're in front of a Sabara and since then it has been history. We have gone down in the annals of food history as the guys looking to define not the best restaurant, not the worst restaurant, but the eh-est restaurant. The most decent. Yeah. Okay to the max. So we went to Chewies this week, Tex-Mex. Yeah.

You picked it for us. I did. I've never been to this place. We're from LA. The closest one is like Colorado. We are currently in Austin. We're actually recording out of Austin Audio Lab. They're hosting us for six weeks worth of episodes.

More like they're putting up with us for six weeks worth of episodes. Huge thanks to Gabe Alvarez and the whole team over there at Austin Audio Lab. It's nice to have a home away from home and allow us to try out all the different eats around Austin. Yeah, we want to do this so you don't have to. This is not an easy journey, I would say. This is a journey that has us tired, physically worn out, heart rate spiking, blood sugar spiking.

We are putting our bodies through the ringer to try all these restaurants. We actually just finished eating too, so we're kind of a mess. We are bloated with burritos and churros. Fine dining party of two. We will get into it and talk about it, but for now, our table is ready. First impressions. I had a super pleasant first impression here. I did too.

This color scheme, it's just kind of weathered almost like 60s, 70s colors, just lots of reds green. It's bohemian chic. Yeah, turquoise is the name of the game, reflective blues and reds, lots of broken glass art. Yeah, this would fit in in the American Southwest. We walk up and there's a sign that has, it's a signpost with directional arrows in a bunch of different directions pointing to presumably all their sister cities that have chewy restaurants. Garrett, you have a picture of it, right?

Yeah, let's see here. We have Lexington, Kentucky, Birmingham, Alabama, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Richmond, Virginia, Nashville, Kissimmee, Florida, forgot about that one. Places like that. A bunch of different places where you can find chewy restaurants. It just had a very classic vibe to it. I really appreciate it. We also noticed the outdoor dining area when we walked up, the patio.

It looked magnificent. Yes. It was a very welcoming, naturally weathered and aged. Yeah, but not in a dingy way at all. No, no, in a cool, like intentional, natural way. Like classic. I said that word already, but to me, that is what this decor was. It was just very classic, you know, as the colors you find classic cars in, that those

like bright, kind of sparkly shins of paint. Almost as if this is an intentional theme. Oh, it is because you walk in the door and what's there, Garrett? A shrine. A shrine to the king himself, Elvis Presley, and there's a shrine to Elvis and underneath his name, it goes his date of birth, 1935, to question mark. These people are doubting that Elvis is dead because he's alive. He would be 87, a logical age to still be alive with the way he wrote his body into

the ground. But alien technology keeps you young forever. I guess so. When you're the king, you can afford extra trust. You can get like exoskeleton suits like, can you imagine Elvis's suit plus an exoskeleton? I just think of exoskeleton with rhinestones. Think of like the alien suit from Independence Day. But with like tassels running down the legs.

It was a big choice by them. I thought it was just going to be an entranceway theme and we'll talk a lot about it a little bit more when we get into atmosphere, kind of how this theme pervaded. But at the very least, right in the entranceway, there is that heads up that there will be some Elvis goings on throughout this experience. And then you walk through the door and there's a bunch of merch. This is really cool. And it's good.

Shirts are so well done. Yeah, like we've been to restaurants before that have merch sections and you know, some of the options are a little bit weak. But this merch was good, much like our merch. And you can go to www.finddiningpodcast.com, hit that merch tab and you'll be able to see several shirt designs. If you just want our logo, you can get that both in a pocket sized and a large size. You can get it in black and white.

You can get a shirt of Juicy, my son, my adopted, or my non-adopted, you're my adopted son. Juicy's my adopted brother. Yeah. My pineapple son with mutton chops and googly eyes, which was my punishment during the Old Spaghetti Factory episode where I had to bring a pineapple with me and treat it like it's my son. There's an embroidered version. There's kind of a more anime version where it's just him giving finger guns and it just

says he's my son with a pineapple ring on there. You can get our Olive Garden shirt, the Find Dining Perfectly Adequate Signature shirt as a reference to our musical, if you listen to our Olive Garden episode. We have a Pizza Hut disco ball shirt designed by Disney background artist Brandon Gully. He made a Pizza Hut with a disco ball with a bunch of cars crashing into it, which is the story you'll get. I'm currently wearing this shirt. Yeah, it is currently wearing it.

But yeah, check out our merchandise. Anyways, back to Chewy's. Chewy's has over a dozen shirt options, right? Yeah. They have 12 slots, but their employees were working other ones. They have three, four buckets of sale shirts. They were good shirts. I actually, I ended up not getting one because I was just in a rush to get out for, I mean,

not, not for any, there isn't a story to that. I was just, I was heading out, I was full and I forgot, but I, there was a shirt design that I wanted. So I might actually go back and pick that up while we're while we're still in town. It's always a bold choice to put your merch up front, especially for people who haven't gone through the experience of your restaurant yet. But when the designs are this good, I can't really fault them for it. I think this is a great first impression to have.

It's like, okay, so these people know the value of good artwork. They do. And then we got taken to our table, but that'll officially transition us into atmosphere. But before we go into that, Garrett, we need you to round up some facts about Chewy's. How's that coming? Oh yeah. Let's do it. We're still here in Texas.

Yes, sir. Now guess which city it was founded in? Austin. You're right. I'm good at this. You are. This were a game that meant something. Yeah, I know.

There's no prize for me knowing what city it's in. You succeed amazingly when there's no consequence involved. Yeah, when there's nothing to gain, I am a massive success. Chewy's was founded in 1982 in Austin, Texas. And now there are 96 locations in 17 states. That's a bigger footprint than I expected. 17 states. I know the closest one to us is Colorado being in California.

Pre-pandemic, there were only 101-102 restaurants, so the pandemic really didn't negatively affect Chewy's that much. How much did they grow by? They only reduced by... Oh, reduced. ...5 to 6 restaurants over the period of the pandemic. Either Chewy's wasn't hit hard or Chewy's doesn't know when to call it quits. I mean, they're still clinging to Elvis, so.

Yeah. Speaking of Elvis, so this Elvis theme, the only reason it happened was because of the loyal local customers of Austin. Really? When they started the restaurant in 1982, they had practically zero decorating budget. Oh, so it was like donated by locals? It gets there. So literally, they had $20 set aside to decorate the entire restaurant.

But in 1982 money, so it was like... 100 bucks. Three to $400,000. So all they could afford was a bunch of mismatched tiles. We saw those. Yeah. A single portrait of Elvis Presley. You know that shrine we saw?

Yeah. That was the original shrine. Local patrons started bringing in Elvis memorabilia, and they themselves created that shrine. Wow. This was all a customer thing. It's like a locally sourced yes and... Yes. And they're like, oh, Elvis, sure, I can contribute to that.

It was such a hit, they just decided, hey, every Chewy's Elvis themed, go. Another really cool thing too. You can get a free appetizer if you bring in a framed photo of your dog. What? Yeah. Why? They like dogs, and then they'll actually... I mean, I like dogs too.

They'll hang up the photo of your beautiful baby. I kind of want to put that to the test. At Chewy's, almost everything there is made fresh. Okay. The only things in their freezer are ice cream and french fries. Did they have fries on the menu? Only the kids menu. Oh, okay.

Comes with like the chicken tendies. Yeah, kids don't need quality. Nah. Kids don't need quality. Whatever. Just scrape it off the table. They'll eat it out of their little bowl. Hey, how else do kids grow without GMOs?

And well, that's been your healthy, rusty fact roundup. Atmosphere. You know, atmosphere is a lot of things to us. It is the decor of the restaurant. It is what is on the walls. It is... It's the people around us. It's the way we interact with the restaurant.

There were a lot of variables at Chewy's. Things that on a different day or under different conditions, through no fault of the restaurant wouldn't have been there, but they were a part of our experience. And I'm going to tell you about the first part. It was me. Last week, I picked Papadeau. Papadeau is a decidedly not mediocre restaurant. It is better than mediocre.

It is outside of what we call the zone of mediocrity, that's a four to six rating for those of you keeping score. And it resulted in me having to draw from the you must bowl. The you must bowl is our bowl full of punishments that are you must statements that tell me something I have to do if I picked a place that wasn't in the zone of mediocrity. And this lunch that we had at Chewy's was very much painted by that. He had to change into three different outfits. Yeah, I had to have three wardrobe changes and deny them, which, you know, when you

have a crazy guy changing his clothes, mid meal, no one really asks. So I never had to deny it. Here, let me just put a little context on what this kind of looked like. Sure. Michael. And you can see all of this on our Instagram and on our TikTok. Walks out of the restaurant, walks up to his car, opens the trunk. Where I have three different outfits laid out.

Then he begins disrobing in the parking lot. I'm a man of, you know, I'm a man of little time. OK, I don't have time to get in the car or take it into the bathroom and then walk it back out. I just got to do my thing. And I tried to make the amount of time that my shirt wasn't on minimal, but I didn't necessarily succeed at that. I just I don't think anyone needs to see a grown man in a Chewy's parking lot hanging

out in his boxers. I wasn't hanging out. I was very quick. I was a NASCAR pit crew. I was pants off pants on. I was a pants off moment. There were there were three pants off moments. So the first time I changed, I went out and I opened my trunk and I changed from I had

my my juicy shirt on and like just a pair of red shorts. I got into the car, into the backseat and changed into kind of almost look like a Cuban cartel of to see, oh, not oh, I don't know. It was the outfit he wore on his birthday. Yeah, like you got like nice white slacks and like a flowery button up shirt. And I changed in the car and it took entirely too long. And I thought I misplaced the key so I vowed for my other two wardrobe changes. I'm not doing that.

I'm just going to change in the parking lot. I will be quick. So then I go in, you know, we place our order. Waitress doesn't say anything, but but Garrett points out to me like she did a double take. Like she definitely noticed you. And then I go out the second time. I change into a shirt that Garrett made me bring that just says, born to shit, forced to wipe.

Hey, thanks, man, for the gift. Hey, you're welcome. Making me look like an absolute trash human psychopath in the middle of a parking lot. Hey, it fits our brand. Does it? It fits my vision of our brand. Yes. So I'm now wearing this shirt.

And mind you, there is now a Brinks, like armored vehicle, cash security guard who walks into the restaurant. And when he walks out, he sees me changing. He just he sees the back of a topless man and and then like just cracks his window down and waits and watches. And I like catches eye a couple of time. And then, of course, he notices I'm wearing born to shit, forced to wipe. And I'm like, and at the very least, he kind of like just chuckled and drove off.

But between him and the waitress, you know, I think I know what they were thinking. I bet they were wondering what is going on over there. This is the first time where I am the what's going on over there from everyone else's perspective. What is going on over there in their minds? I bet they were thinking you are on the run from the Texas Rangers, but you are. Yeah, but you don't know why. I do know why you're the last person to see Elvis alive.

You know where he is up. Don't tell people my thing. Elvis shared the alien technology with you. OK, so and the Rangers have been hunting you ever since. Why are you putting it out there for everyone to know? Why are you refusing to share your alien bionic hips with me? Oh, I want those two. Look, I need to be able to move a certain way to entice an audience to come in

and listen to a podcast for an hour a week, and I don't appreciate you outing us. Oh, so I'm just going to have to be stuck here and be stiff hips. Garrett, all right, that's what was going on over there. Cut this. Don't put this in the episode. Basically, I influenced kind of how the atmosphere came across for some people, not us, which, you know, that helps us give a little bit more of an objective rating. However, those around us do impact how we experience this thing. And apparently while I was gone, changing, I missed something

that you're saving to tell me until now. You should be thankful you missed this. The table right next to us, the woman there started giving an explanation in graphic detail of how she gave birth. She mentioned why I have no idea was prompted. I don't know, but she was talking about she was laying on her side. I don't I don't need the graphic detail in our audience doesn't need the graphic. She later regretted her epidural refusal.

Yeah, there were also many more details that you'll spare us. I'm not going to share with you guys, but let's just say it was not an easy process and I learned. Well, it was educational since, you know, me, your dad has not given you the talk. At least now you had that a chewy from a complete stranger. It's not not appropriate for the talk. Hey, audience, if you're in a chewy, don't give a stranger the talk about how babies are made or where they come from or your birth.

That's very funny. There was something else about other people, right? The cacophony. Yeah. It was a parade of coughs. It was a it was a freaking cough parade. Like it was uncanny. Was everyone sick or was everyone just not handling the spice well? Or like, you know, if you're well, there was one lady who's like lungs.

We heard for a good portion of the meal. You mean lungs we saw on the table. Basically, she was coughing like into a tortilla that she had laid out in her flat bare hand like we were genuinely just peppers meat. And then she just kept coughing on it. And I never saw her actually eat it. It was like she was like, I want to eat this tortilla, but I know at this point it's it's past the point of no return.

Yeah, it was kind of gross. It it really was right. It was the table next to us, like right across the little aisle way. It was a little concerning. Like we're not even thinking about us here. We're thinking about are we going to make it out of here? Pass out next to us. Yeah, it was like she's bursting blood vessels with each cough.

Oh, God, 100 percent. And that table was the same as the woman talking about her birth process. Yeah. As far as what the restaurant itself can control, the atmosphere was mostly pleasant. Yeah, there were actually an entire ceiling full of hubcaps. It looked like an art installation. It was very cool. It was. I liked it.

Our light fixture, I counted there's like 56 squares of colored glass around a central lantern on a steel frame. It was really neat. We took a picture of that. You can see all this on our Instagram. That's right. We're on Instagram at Fine Dining Podcast. We're on TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast, and you can email us whatever you want.

Fine Dining Podcast at gmail.com. We might regret that, but I don't know. Maybe we won't. But it was neat. It wasn't like a crazy, you know, crazy decor. But there were a lot of pictures of classic cars, too. That gave it a very like Tex-Mexy diner feel. Yeah, plus the Elvis feel of like, you know, you think of Elvis,

you kind of think of like the Cadillac sort of vibe, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was. It's a very pleasant environment to be in other than childbirth conversations and a cacophony. There was no music. No, no music. All I actually know, there was a lot of vocal noise. Well, coughing doesn't count.

But no music. I heard the sounds of like the kitchen and like, you know, those really fast sounding fans that you have in the kitchen. I heard that. But yeah, you know, but the hubcaps were kind of the the main attraction of the decor, and they were very cool. I noticed something really interesting. What?

On the wrapping around the silverware, there were three prayers. Oh, yeah, that's right. Protestant, Catholic and Jewish. Yeah, just the standard, premium prayers. But shouldn't you know these already? If you're a religious person, maybe they're trying to kill your prayers. Maybe they're just like, you're not praying enough. You should, you know, get on this.

And the silverware didn't come like wrapped in a napkin. It came in like this little paper baggy sort of thing that had the prayers on it. On the front, it said it was sanitized. Yeah, we always check the bathrooms. Oh, yeah. Clean bathrooms. Clean bathroom means clean kitchen. That's one of our five survival tips for casual dining.

You can get the rest of them if you go to our website, www.finddiningpodcast.com. You can actually find a little thing. You just enter your email. We'll send you a PDF that has all of those survival tips for you. The coolest part about the bathrooms. Yeah. The sign said El Men's. El Men's.

Yeah, El Men's. What did the did the women's have anything or did you not notice? I didn't look. I always feel awkward taking a picture of the women's bathroom door. Yeah, that's a good way to look like a creep. So yeah, I'm waiting. That is probably for the best. That's a thing I reserve if my girlfriend comes along.

I'm like, hey, hey, hey, take a picture of the women's bathroom. You've done that a couple of times. It's overall it's an environment I liked. I think the hubcaps make the place really feel cohesive in a way that I like. I'm going to go one thumb up on the atmosphere. Now, I'm everything's cohesive, strong. I like it. I would have given this place one thumb up, but thanks to the cacophony,

which that was there, but even more graphic birth description, neither of which are Chewie's fault while it was having food. Nonetheless, I know they painted your experience. And that is that is what our atmosphere is based on is our experience. Zero thumbs, zero thumbs. I got to bust it out. You're a fussy little boy. I'll take that.

I'm a fussy little boy right now. And now you can be a fussy little boy as well. We have a brand new t-shirt up in our shop. It is the Bob's Big Boy logo, but instead it is fussy little boy. Huge thanks to Perrier Gray for sending that in. It's an awesome shirt. Go get it now. Everyone will ask you about it.

You can tell him about the podcast. It's great marketing for us. Before we move on to our next segment, Garrett, you're a fussy little boy. But I think we can agree that that those events deserve an award. That award is this is way too much. This is way too much. If you had to pick which one gets the award, Garrett, is it the is it the coughing up a lung lady or the coughing up a baby lady?

I'm going to choose coughing up a baby because you can choose to not talk about your birth process, but you can't always choose not to call. Yeah. So Lady graphically describing her birth at Chewy's was way too much. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh, hi, everybody. It's job and I am back with a brand new product because my last manners program

didn't work out too good because I was told I was rude and that hurt my feelings. But don't worry, I've got a new business for you. Concurrently, I've got job caps and job hub. Have you ever wanted to just have a bunch of hub caps come to me from Monday through Friday, and I'm going to sell you all the hub caps that I found. I scour the sides of the highway and more rundown parts of town. And I take all the hub caps that I find on the side of the road. You want a 1991 Pinto?

I got you. You want a Toyota Camry from before they made Toyota Camry's like the prototypes. I don't got access to those because that requires time travel. And then on the weekends, you want something to do, try job hub. I sell you a ticket to any show you want to see. It doesn't even have to be by an artist. It can just be like your neighbor next door. You want to watch whatever the movie they're watching on the screen,

but you're not invited. Job will get a camera in there and you'll feel like you're part of the party. It's not illegal if you place the cameras on public property. This much, I know this much. I am very certain of. So if either of these appeal to you, don't call me. I don't have a phone. Just scream it into a little tin can with a string attached to it.

And I will probably feel the vibrations and that'll get my attention. Do it today. OK, bye. Service. I don't have a lot to say about service. I thought this was the epitome of average. If our atmosphere and our food were as average as this server, I would be at the finish line for this podcast.

I will say you spent a good maybe eighth of our meal out in the parking lot, changing clothes. OK, that's fair. You had more interactions with time with our server. Look, average is not an insult. No, average is not a bad thing. You know, she did her job, she did her job well. She interacted very minimally.

It was just kind of get the info, you know, great. You know, that kind of vibe, like you say your order, she says great. And then she kind of just walks away. But you know what? I really liked what she refilled our chips without us asking. Yeah. And, you know, brought out like a big chip pitcher, basically, and just like a big scooper and just dumped it in the basket. It was a good image like she gave us refills without asking. Yeah, food came out timely.

Every she was solid. She was solid, but it was just one of those things where no impression was made on me whatsoever. She kept the lights on. She did all the tasks and managed to look. Some people, this is their preferred way of service. They don't want the server to really be a part of their experience. They want the experience to be supplement or complemented by it,

but not not a big part of it. I can see how someone would give this type of service two thumbs up. I'm giving it zero thumbs, but no part of me disliked it. I thought she was super efficient. I thought she was friendly. There was a moment when she dropped something while grabbing plates from another table and then just kind of looked at me and was like, I dropped my crossword and I liked that.

The idea that she's spending part of her shift solving a crossword puzzle is entertaining to me. She's keeping her mind sharp. She is. I like her. I like her plenty, but it was just one of those things where I'm like, yes, this is the epitome of what I'm looking for. And while it sounds like I'm speaking, well, I am speaking positively, but positively in this case is resulting in zero thumbs.

And I'm going to give her one thumb up because, you know, you just you meet some people, you can just tell they have a good heart. Yeah, she's one of those people. I got that vibe cares. I got that vibe. And I think that caring is what separates zero thumbs and one thumb. So one thumb up for her. Yeah, I definitely didn't get a vibe of vibe of apathy.

It was just she was such a she wasn't that big of a part of this experience for me. But then again, you're right. I did spend, you know, a portion of it out in the parking lot. And that's three separate occasions changing clothes. This is the inverse of what happened in our last episode. Oh, at Papadot. Yeah, for sure. In our Papadot episode, we had a waiter that was kind of nowhere to be found for large periods of time.

I didn't know that very charismatic. I wasn't facing the majority of the restaurant. So I go zero thumbs, you go one. Yeah, one up. Is there anything else to talk about with the service? I don't really think so. No, it was good service. Quick, we will move on.

We'll be right back. Hi, my name is Cassie. I've worked for two years for about 15 years and we celebrate Elvis's birthday every year. We had a performer come out and sing and we, you know, we give out free desserts and if you dress up as Elvis, you know, we'll buy your lunch just so we can the community can come out. And I guess they're at McKinney when the event was happening or something like that. One of the wonderful tortillas is she was making a tortilla and she had turned over

and she had saw an image of Elvis on it. And it was the miracle of the tortilla, which is amazing. I love it. I'm sure I'm for sharing the story. But I just I think about that story and I hear about that story. I'm like, what are the odds that Elvis will present himself on his birthday at chewy's? So yeah, that was pretty awesome. Our food experience was ruined by my grandfather. Oh, would you like to actually clarify for people what you mean by that?

Michael's dad makes the most amazing flout us. My dad is he's only willing to make it like once a year because he has to like literally burn his fingers to roll hot tortillas in oil as he makes them by hand. But he made us carnitas flout us homemade. Yeah, homemade tortilla chips. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. His Pico was just on point. Spoiled us. Great meal.

One of the best meals I've had while while we're in town. It was another calibration. So like, OK, that was a 10 out of 10 meal. Yeah, it was great. So and then you order the flout. Yeah. And they're nothing like your dad's. Yeah. Well, obviously they aren't. They're not homemade.

They're well, they're the restaurant made. But, you know, the fact that like, you know, if you ask for no cheese, they're like, oh, well, the cheese kind of comes already premixed with the chicken kind of shows that not everything is like totally freshly made on on the spot, or at least prepped the night before or whatever it is. You know, it may have been pre made for like the lunch rush or something like that. Oh, boo, just like Old Spaghetti Factory, pre-portioning that ice cream and sticking it in their freezer.

That bugged me. Yeah, I know. And that I think you're crazy on, but you can have your opinions. But yeah, you know, it just wasn't the same. You know, we'll we'll ask for your opinions on your flout. Does a little bit later. Let's start kind of at the beginning. They bring out the bowl of chips. They were good chips basket of chips and they bring out some salsa. I thought the salsa was a little on the watery side.

It was fine. It wasn't it didn't taste bad or anything. It was just kind of, you know, is one of those things where it's like you eat it because it's there. It's a generic, safe restaurant salsa. The chips were thin and wispy. They had an appropriate amount of salt and grease to them. I like that. But they did break apart way too easily. Yeah. And when you get to the point where you're like kind of out of all the big

chips, you have a basket full of the like really small ones. And you're just kind of like crunching together. Yeah. So you're just grabbing finger fulls of chip nubs. Yeah. And it's just it doesn't change the flavor, but it definitely changes how much it cuts your mouth. So also, it's just like you have fingers full of salsa. Then you're just dunking your hand in the salsa like an animal. So a little bit more chip structure, I think would serve them well.

They were very average. I give the salsa five out of ten. I give the chips five and a half out of ten and even the guac guac is always good. So like my opinions on the guac that we ordered mostly has to do with just the strength of avocado in general. I go six and a half on the guacamole. Yeah. I'm going to go six on the chips, five on the salsa. And let's go with the four on the guac.

Specifically, there was a lack of garlic in it. I need garlic in my guac. Sure. My girlfriend makes the most amazing guac I have ever had. Yeah, you know, it was fine. But yeah, it's not a it's not a standout guac. You're never saying go to Chewie's for the guac, but it's not bad. It's not bad. Then we get to our entrees.

You got the flautas. I got the flautas. So yeah, I guess, unfortunately, chicken and cheese flautas compared to my dad's carnitas and it came with rice and beans, which everyone likes rice and beans. Yeah. But these flautas, they were crisp. But they held their structure. The inside was still moist, tender. When you bite in, you didn't pull out the entire contents. Sure. I like that. Yeah, yeah.

But in the end, these flautas were a decent vehicle for beans and guac. So you kind of did the like spoon them into the salsa approach. I've done that from time to time. It was tasty that way. So but the flautas alone are maybe a five out of ten. Hey, Dyna Maniacs, we hear you. OK, we know that you have thoughts on us not liking cheese, and we still want to give you what you want out of a food podcast.

That's why we have taken it upon ourselves to have a weekly cheese correspondent. My close personal friend, Stephen, he comes with us to restaurants. He eats the cheese entrees that Garrett and I won't. And we give him one minute to talk about the cheese. However, the last couple of times his jaws been in disarray and he hasn't been able to give his review for Bob's big boy. Joel McHale had to step in for Waffle House. Jerry Springer had to step in.

And this time when Stephen's jaw actually is working, all of a sudden, he can't come to Texas with us to try the Chicka Chicka Boom Boom chicken and cheese enchiladas from Chewy's. So I took my mom to Chewy's and she is going to review that dish for you. However, her jaw is not working this week. Who could we possibly have to fill in for her? Hey, y'all, this is Fine Dining Podcast's cheese correspondent, Stephen. I want to say thank you all for the well wishes and get well soon cards.

My jaws finally made a full recovery. The doctors recommended I take it easy and be on vocal rest, but, you know, I'm just going to power through and I wanted to be a part of this podcast. And hopefully I don't break anything again. But, you know, I just I'm really passionate about getting this review to you. Anyways, I'm reviewing the Chicka Chicka Boom Boom chicken cheese enchilada on behalf of Michael's mom. So she tasted it, she reviewed it, not me.

Anyways, here are her thoughts. So starting off the enchilada had a really good roast chicken filling with a delicious and super gooey American Monterey Jack combo inside. I think the Monterey Jack, this is Stephen talking, is really crucial to getting a good enchilada American cheese, just not authentic enough, even for Tex-Mex. Star of the show, according to Michael's mom, was the easy melt cheese sauce on top, very velvita-esque cheese with some serrano and jalapeno to add a perfect

bite, good bit of heat. I don't like, again, this is Stephen's thoughts here. I don't like too much heat. It takes away from the flavor. So I'm really glad Michael's mom had just the right amount. Came with some rice and some apparently really great beans. Now I want to know, did she mix the cheese with the rice? Because then that would be the recipe for some really good rice.

I don't know, you'll never know, we'll never know. Anyways, 10 out of 10 dish, this, sorry, I bit my tongue there. OK, I got a thought that that hurts. OK, back to the show, back to it though. I got the steak burrito. It also came with the rice and beans and like lettuce and tomato and stuff like that. It was one of those you can't really pick it up burritos. You know, one of the ones where it's like you got a fork and it's very

yeah, it's very kind of got a got a lot of sauce, even if it's just on one side, it's got sauce kind of coating it. So it would just be not great to handle. The steak was delicious. Wow, it was really good steak. I was impressed with it. It didn't have much else in it. I mean, I got it cheeseless.

It had like a little bit of vegetable in it, like some bell pepper. But the strength of the steak alone and like, you know, tortilla was good. So tortilla is a tortilla hard to mess it up, especially when it's kind of fresh. I'm going to go as high as an eight out of 10 on this burrito. Wow. Yeah, I recommend it. It was actually under their like house specials category, the steak burrito. They had other burritos that were in a different section. The steak burrito specifically was in the house favorites.

So it seems like they know the strength of the state. They they're they're putting it out there and they're like, hey, we recommend this. We're good at this. And I agree, Chewies, you are good at that steak burrito. Oh, I forgot to say, you know what, Chewies, you're also good at beans. Those were a good seven and a half out of 10 refried beans. I actually didn't love them. Really? The beans for me probably go in five out of 10 for the rice and beans.

They were just very much there, both of them for me. Neither one of them made me really want more. It was just kind of it was busy work. OK, with me, I couldn't get enough of those beans. I mean, to each their own, glad you liked them. I want to talk about our desserts, though. Ooh, the dessert. We got both the desserts that Chewies offers.

They have a trace leches cake and they have chewy, chewy churro bites. One of them was great. One of them didn't really do it for me. Did you have a similar read on that? Yes. Yeah, I'm happy. My life feels a lot more complete now after our terrible Santa Monica pier let down on our tragedy. Yeah, where we literally chose the location of Bubba Gump that we went to

so that we could get the churro vendor on Santa Monica pier only to discover that he had been basically gentrified and replaced with a different churro vendor who did not do it nearly as well. These churros were amazing. They were made up for it. These good as the old Santa Monica ones. They were. These were what we were searching for, you know, way back in that episode.

Yeah, they were awesome. They were just little churro bites with a caramel sauce. Oh, the caramel sauce was good. It was one of those things where I bit into the churro and I was like, this is what a churro is supposed to be. They nailed it. I'm going nine out of 10 on the churro bites because they weren't full churros and they weren't on the Santa Monica pier.

That magic, that view, you know, that makes a 10 out of 10 churro in my mind. That matches up with the best churro experiences I've had. But nine out of 10, no slouch. Oh, yeah, good at churros. I'm going to go nine out of 10 on those churros, too. The only thing that would take those to attend for me are just like you. If they're the entire churro. Yeah. And plus a little bit more sugar coating.

Really? Just a tiny bit. Oh, for me, they were very good. I don't know if I had many notes other than yeah, I would have just liked it as a regular churro. But guys, go to Chewie's. Have their churros. You won't be happy. Watch them get a bad batch.

Like Michael and Garrett don't know what they're talking about. But then we get to the other dessert. We got the tres leches cake. Tres leches cake is normally amazing. And it looked great in the picture when we got it. It I won't say it looked bad, but it definitely didn't look like the picture. It looked a little overdone. I guess. Yeah.

I don't even know how to describe what it is about it. That I mean, the answer is the flavor. It's the flavor that I didn't love. I've had tres leches cake before, so I know I like the flavor. This one in particular, I don't know. It just kind of let me down. There was like a cream fraiche around it, came coated with strawberries. It's like they took all of the flavors you normally would have

and just took them down one notch. Yeah, something was just missing. I couldn't put my finger on it. I'm like to the point where I would say I was not a fan of it. You know, I took what, two bites? Yeah. And one of those bites was just strawberry, so I could feel healthy. Four out of ten on the tres leches for me. Yeah, I thought the cake itself was a little drier than I'd like.

Yeah, plus it being a little muted. I'm also going to go four out of ten for this. Get the churros, get the churros. If you're looking for a deserted chewy, you're not going to go wrong with these churros. You're not. We recommend them. They get the the G&M stamp of approval. Yeah.

What? Is that the sound of stamp? That's a stamp noise. What? What? OK. I feel, yeah. Munchkin menu musings. Hi, my name is Will.

And I'm going to be reviewing chewy kids. They didn't have any kids menus in stock, and they gave me a plain piece of paper and a couple crayons. I just drew on it a stick figure, calling it a bad menu. I didn't like it because, well, it didn't have any food on it and it didn't have any activities on it. And also it was just like a really like dog shit, horrible ass menu. Will, watch your mouth.

Uh, I would give this menu a score of zero out of ten. Dog shit, horrible menu. Out with the language. Do you know how many people are listening? Oh, yeah. Also, chewy. I'm sorry about him. OK, so we got to assign some thumbs to these food ratings then. This was a pretty average experience across the board.

It was extremely OK. Yeah. So I'm just going to give this zero thumbs. All right. So you're very average on chewy food. I feel like I've said a lot of glowing things. And yet for some reason that I don't even know if I can put my finger on. I also give this zero thumbs.

I really liked the steak and the burrito, but the beans and the rice just very average, didn't impress. I really liked the churro bites, but the dulce de leche cake I actively didn't like. The chips and salsa, they were just there. The guac, it was kind of just there. It was just a lot of things that were just there. And I don't think the strength of the two things I like

were enough to take this to a good recommendation over just being average. So I got to go zero thumbs. It's close, but I'm going zero thumbs. Thanks, Grandpa. Yeah, thanks, Dad, for making amazing floutes that kind of tanked chewy rating as a result. I warned you, it might happen and it just did. Final rating.

Overall, for our final rating, based on the atmosphere, based on the service, based on the food, that's what we do. That's who we are. I went zero thumbs up for atmosphere, one thumb up for service and zero thumbs up for food. So you gave one thumb, zero thumbs is perfectly mediocre. You went one thumb. One could have given up to six, you could have given down to six.

You went one, just one. I'm going overall five point three five because Elvis was born in 1935. Well, look at you. I went one thumb up for atmosphere, zero thumbs on service, zero thumbs on food. So I also had a one thumb experience and very much like you. This place is very average. The strength of the churro and the steak does skew it up a little bit towards me. I was very close to giving a thumb on food.

I'm going to say five point six nine. OK, so that brings us to an average of five point five two. We'll slap it up on the Chachki of mediocrity, our Frankenchachki that keeps track of all of our scores, five point five two. And since five point five two is in our four to six zone of mediocrity, there's no punishment for next week. But what it does mean is we got to keep going. Yeah, we got to find another restaurant to go rate and review in search of mediocrity

and to determine which of us gets to choose that place. We got to play the headline game. The rules of the headline game are as follows. Garrett will present three headlines to Michael that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If Michael can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Garrett stumps him, he'll select again.

Are you ready to play, fellas? I'm ready to play. I'm ready. Let's go. Headline number one. Chewy's co-founder jailed, accused of punching wife in the face. Affidavit says. I was going to say false until you added the words Affidavit says. I think that's a good detail that I don't know if I give you enough credit to add.

So I'm going to say I'm going to say true. OK, next one. Police chase ends at Tuscaloosa, Chewy's when driver stops for tacos. You know, I've actually heard of headlines similar to that from other places. Don't know if the Chewy's one is true. I'm going to say false and just assume that you picked it because you think Tuscaloosa is a funny city.

It is a funny city. Just the name of it is great. Next one, three years later, little to show for raid on Chewy's Mexican restaurants. I'm going to say false. That just doesn't read as a real headline to me. Could be wrong, but I went true, false, false. You went true, false, false. The first one was true.

Yes. OK. The second one, you're also right. I made that up. And the third one is true. You got two out of three. I got two out of three. Last one was true. Three years later, little to show for raid on Chewy's Mexican restaurants.

That actually is really funny. Like, I don't even need to hear the real article. Just the idea that it's like the DEA or something is just like, we got to bust Chewy's, we got to figure out. They are still looking for that alien technology. Oh, shoot, you're right. They'll never find me. I'll never tell you where Elvis is.

Leave me alone. Since you got two out of three, you get to choose our next restaurant. You know what? Since we're in Austin, my hometown, growing up, my old stomping grounds, we're going to get some not great Austin pizza, but we're going to have fun doing it. We're getting Gatti's pizza, but not just Mr. Gatti's. We're going to Gatti town.

What's the difference? Gatti town is an arcade. So we are going to get our first like game and food experience together. So this is going to be a really fun atmosphere rating. This should be a very active atmosphere rating. We'll see if that ends up being a positive or a negative. Gatti town, man. I'm excited. I'm pumped. I love pizza. I love games.

You're going to have to roll me out of there. I will tether you to me as I also roll out of there. Oh, my God, you should get one of those child leashes and walk me around the place. Oh, God, is that going to end up in the you must? Oh, yeah, that's a must. But that punishes the other person. It's hilarious. Oh, God. Well, if you have a suggestion for our you must go ahead and emails

find dining podcast at gmail.com. If you have worked at Gatti town or Mr. Gatti's and you have a fun story for us or even if you've just been a customer and you have a fun story, send it to us. Find dining podcast at gmail.com. Join us next week. We'll still be in Austin and, you know, covering some more, more local restaurants for you. But thank you guys so much for joining.

Keep the momentum up. Keep liking, subscribing, reviewing, rating, downloading, all the good stuff that helps us. This literally is feeding us. It is literally feeding us. Thank you guys so much. The search continues. Have a fine day. Have a fine.

We don't have to say it together. I like saying it together. Have a fine day. Fine day. Oh, man, we must we must it up one more time. You didn't even start it. All right, one more time. Have a fine day. I actually like I want to keep all that.

Yeah. The search continues. We still need the perfect fire. The search continues. Like and subscribe. The search continues. Our journey did not conclude. The monorail search continues. Write us an iTunes review.

And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Good night. Follow us on TikTok. The same on Instagram. All the socials at Fine Dining Podcast. We have a website. Find Dining Podcast dot com by our t-shirts, then put them on. And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next.

OK, we're going to find it. Mediocrity, the search continues. See you next week. Hurt my throat a little. But alien technology keeps you young forever. I guess so. Yeah, they don't seem to. Could you try again? Something activated my watch to talk.

Have a fine day.